Mark Bell's Power Project - MBPP EP. 732 - Ray Cash: Creating a Brotherhood Where Men Can Connect, Grow, and Improve

Episode Date: May 13, 2022

Ray “Cash” Care is a 12-year veteran of the United States Navy, 10 years of which were spent serving as a member of the SEAL teams. After serving with the SEALs, Ray continued to serve his country for eight years as an overseas security officer for government agencies. Follow Ray on IG: https://www.instagram.com/raycashcare/ Join The Power Project Discord: https://discord.gg/yYzthQX5qN Subscribe to the new Power Project Clips Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC5Df31rlDXm0EJAcKsq1SUw Special perks for our listeners below! ➢https://thecoldplunge.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save $150!! ➢Enlarging Pumps (This really does work): https://bit.ly/powerproject1 ➢https://www.vivobarefoot.com/us/powerproject Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off Vivo Barefoot shoes! ➢https://markbellslingshot.com/ Code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off site wide including Within You supplements! ➢https://mindbullet.com/ Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off! ➢https://eatlegendary.com Use Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off! ➢https://bubsnaturals.com Use code POWERPROJECT for 20% of your next order! ➢https://verticaldiet.com/ Use code POWERPROJECT for 20% off your first order! ➢https://vuoriclothing.com/powerproject to automatically save 20% off your first order at Vuori! ➢https://www.eightsleep.com/powerproject to automatically save $150 off the Pod Pro at 8 Sleep! ➢https://marekhealth.com Use code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off ALL LABS at Marek Health! Also check out the Power Project Panel: https://marekhealth.com/powerproject Use code POWERPROJECT for $101 off! ➢Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code POWER at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $150 Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ https://www.facebook.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mbpowerproject ➢ LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/powerproject/ ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject ➢TikTok: http://bit.ly/pptiktok FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢https://www.tiktok.com/@marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ https://www.breakthebar.com/learn-more ➢YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NsimaInyang ➢Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/?hl=en ➢TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nsimayinyang?lang=en Follow Andrew Zaragoza on all platforms ➢ https://direct.me/iamandrewz #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell

Power Project family, how's it going? Now, we partnered with an amazing brand, Bubz Naturals. We actually have some of the products on the table. They're MCT oil powder, they're collagen protein, and this f***er. Yeah, this f***er. They're apple cider vinegar gummies, okay? One thing I want to let you guys know real quick is that the Bubz products, number one, they mix super well. So I've had different MCT oils, and I've talked to people who've used MCT oil and mentioned it to the copy, and it doesn't mix well. So I've had different MCT oils and I've talked to people who've used MCT oil and mentioned to the copy and it doesn't mix well. Well, their MCT oil is amazing on coffee in the

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He's being facetious. Andrew Ray looks like the kind of guy who will hop over the table and tackle you. My daughter, I had to spell facetious. F-A-C-E-T-I-O-U-S. Oh, it's an F-A-C? It's F-A-C. Oh, wow. Yeah, the T is silent.

Wow. Because when I spelled it, I spelled it facious. It's F-A-C. Oh, wow. Yeah, the T is silent. Wow. Because when I spelt it, I spelt it facious. And my daughter is 13 and said, Daddy, no. But that's why she goes to a better school. Facetious. Andrew, tell them about the shot that I made. Dude, so after, I can't remember which episode it was that we just did today. Mark banked it off of the sound deadening pad, hit the front of the rim, bounced up, hit the front of the rim bounced up hit the back of the

rim and then bounced in yeah he was not amazing fooking around i like it turn this light back okay we're done hey that's the last one on that mind bullet you're gonna like oh yeah should i mix it with this oh yeah sure yeah you don't know what i mean i'm a lot let's go right just do it is there anything in here that's a good thing to say on a first date yeah a lot. Let's go, Ray. Just do it. Is there anything in here? I'm a lot. That's a good thing to say on a first date. I'm a lot. Did you give them an empty? Yeah, no, it's full. Shoot a blank?

I think it's full, right? Oh, maybe it's not full. Here, give him this one. There you go. No, hold on. You drink it first. I already drank one. That's so funny.

So I don't need this then? Oh, you can have that too. You can do both. I want to be in a position like... All right, do that, and then see how you feel within 30 minutes. You can have more Monster. You're going to probably chase it down with the Monster though.

Yeah, you'll chase it with the Monster. It's not about the flavor. Okay. That's like when she says, here, eat this. I'm like, wait, I'm with the lights off. It's not about the flavor. You wake up the next morning with a sore asshole.

That's stuck. That's staying right there. That's not about the flavor. And you wake up the next morning with a sore asshole. That's stuck. I know what you're talking about. That's staying right there. Oh, yeah. That's not going anywhere. That's going to be your face the whole show. It's a bad ass or something. Ooh. All right.

Dude, what's going on? You're 50 years old, you said? 50. 50 years old. 50 years young. Just getting my shit finally fucking squared away. Damn. Got a... what wasn't squared away man i've been i've been a fucking jerry springer poster for the last 49 years of my life you know i had a rough upbringing and you name it it's happened to me i'm literally you know i'm the guy that if if there's 100 people in a room the mosquito eats

me i'm that guy like with everything with life the mosquito eats me i've been abused in every fashion just fucking it's just been a freight train of just emotion and just shit and then all of a sudden you know i got out of the seal team started working for the cia and then um don't say that too loud i know and she's they'll never let me go back i'm fucked it's okay and then um wait why whoa why are you why can't you go back because i use the word cia oh okay okay fair um yeah so um you know just kind of as you get older your priorities change we just had a conversation about how you went from monster to functional fitness i've kind of done the same thing i've

i don't have as much muscle mass on me, but I'm, you didn't do the same thing. I lifted a lot more fucking weight. I just said, dude, the bark bell. I'm like, I remember the first time we came on, I remember I sent you that picture of the video of me squatting five 85 and he wrote, that's adorable. I was like, thousand 80. Yeah. But in my mind I was squatting a thousand 81 pounds. Yeah. Hey, we know that I would not last eight seconds in the military. But you did some really hard shit.

I did. And I think I'm a better man for it. But I think the upbringing, the pain that I went through as a child, I think helped push me in the right direction and give me the internal fortitude that I needed. But the one thing that I told you I was fucked up for the longest time is I used to do everything. I was just having a conversation with a guy on the phone about this for the project that we do is for the first 47 years of my life, I was doing everything to prove everybody wrong. But now, you know, since I met Bedros and the things that I do, it's, I do everything

to prove myself right. Like, because men, and again, people always ask me these questions. They're like, why don't you teach women a dual, an all woman's course? Cause I've been married for 16 fucking years and I don't know shit about women. I don't, I don't, I don't understand their complex creature. I mess things up all the time with my wife, but she knows my heart's in the right place. So I, I, so I sticked with what I know. Men are fucked up, right? There's physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and financial growth that men deal with in life, but they also deal with pain, physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, financial, and sexual pain. So what I've learned how to do is I've, I've learned how to name, claim, and tame the pain in my life while analyzing and

assessing and creating growth. And how did I do that? Because men are guilty of this. And each one, even you guys as successful as you are, have been guilty of this. Men, I use the word self, right? And I have categories. We self-sabotage all the time. The minute that I, and the reason why we self-sabotage is somewhere, somehow in our life, we forgot or we lost what our self-worth is, right? I just thought I was worthless. When I interviewed for a job with Bedros Kooling, here you go, fucking lesson learned. Bedros is like, you know, we did this interview. It was quick. He's like, I want you.

What's your starting salary? And I was like, oh, shit. You don't negotiate with't negotiate with fuck major's cooling you just don't do it so i wrote on a piece of paper what i wanted and he says well i'll write on a piece of paper what i think you're worth his was thirty thousand dollars more than what i what i wanted what do you think he paid me what you want what i fucking wanted right so hard lesson learned because i didn't know he goes from this moment forth if you're going to work for me, you need to understand your self-worth. You're worth a lot more. So then once I started doing that, that's when my life started turning around. I started creating the self-growth and the self-success.

And my idea of success is helping others help themselves. So once I got my shit squared away, then I started focusing on my inner circle. I got a question about the mosquitoes because I get bit by mosquitoes all the time. So how do you like, uh, reinterpret, how do you turn yourself into the guy who is like, ah, there's some mosquitoes. I'm sure they're biting everybody. Like, how do you kind of change that mindset of a fuck it's happening to me again, type of thing. You know, I've just, I tell people all the time I get, I get bit all the time. I get knocked down all the time. I used to be so focused on how I looked when I got back up or how big that bite was. I don't give a fuck anymore.

You know, I told you I just went viral. I don't give a shit what anybody thinks about me that's not in my personal circle. My wife, my kids, the guys that I work for, people that I respect. And, you know, it's all about that hall rep. I just stopped fucking giving a shit. Now, I'm not a dick about it, but here's what I know. You and I, we can do this podcast. We can send it to a thousand people.

A thousand people are going to give you a thousand different responses. If you say, did you like it or not? It's not yes or no. It's this, but, but, but, and I'm tired of it. I'm too fucking old for the butts, you know? And that's what I don't understand. Like, I just don't fucking care. I don't have enough time. It took me me 49 years 47 years of doing it wrong i probably only got 40

some years of doing it right so fuck the mosquito man if he's gonna bite me bite me i'm gonna just keep fucking going how did you make that turning point though because a lot of people especially in this day and age social media they want the likes they. They can't, they can't not say fuck that. You know, how people say like, oh, I have no more fucks to give. How did you get rid of all your fucks?

I surrounded myself with the right people because for the longest time I was around the wrong people. I'm telling you, man, and I'm not sitting here blowing smoke up Bedros' ass or anything.

I love him, but he puts things in perspective that like I couldn't do. Like, the world is simplistic. It's really simple. You just honor. It's the shit we talk about, core values.

But I was so trying to impress so many fucking people in life, Navy SEAL, this and that. I wanted to make – as soon as I got out of the SEAL teams and everything, I was like, oh, social media. I got to be a social media guy. I got to do this. I got to impress people. Fuck impressing people. I started realizing that I needed to impact people, make a difference.

You know, the pushup challenge I do, helping vets out, just little things. And the one thing that I've learned is when you stop giving a fuck, when you surround yourself with the right people, when you start focusing on the growth, the physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and spiritual is believing in my fucking self,

stop sabotaging myself, the money comes. And the one thing, you know, it's funny in my job interview that I had with Bedros, he kept fucking asking me, he goes, let me ask you a question. What are you going to, why do you want to make a lot of money? It's like, well, it'd be cool to have a lot of fucking money. He's like, yeah, but let me ask you a question. The more you make, the more you take. And he's like, wrong. Try again. The more you make, I don't know any other language, the more you take. And he goes, no, the more you take and he's like wrong try again the more you make i don't know any other language the more you take he goes no the more you make the more you give and i've kind of just taking that that mantra on you know i i like it feels fucking good to help people it feels

fucking good to be 50 years old and when i i mean you're like holy fuck you're 50 years old yeah i like when mark bell says holy, you look good for 50. I've been eyeing your big ass up since I got here. Look at your wrist size and your neck. I'm like, they're small. Oh yeah. No, they're not. But I'm just, I'm just so happy.

I'm so fucking grateful. I get up. What turned it? I don't know, man. I, I, it's just, I, I just woke up one day and said, enough's enough. I think that's what more people need to fucking do.

You know, I, I, a voice that God didn't come down and talk to me. I wasn't, you know, going through a divorce with my wife. I just looked in the fucking mirror and I do, I do self-reflection drills and I didn't like what I saw.

I mean, the outside look great, but if you take time and you actually go a little deeper, you know, try to get more than surface deep. I just didn't like what I saw. I mean, the outside looked great, but if you take time and you actually go a little deeper, you know, try to get more than surface deep. I just didn't like myself. I felt like a piece of shit. And I was like, fuck this. And I just started coming up with a daily plan of how to be better, you know? And I do, I focus on my four non-negotiables that I have on my fucking hand, my family, my fitness, my finances, and my faith. This is my hand of time. I'm going to die. So I need to get it fucking done. And this is our mantra that we have for the project.

We're all warriors. We build, we destroy, and we're going to die. When shit gets hard, that's what I look at. That's it. It's that fucking simple for me. Now, that equation

might not work for Mark Bell or might not work for you, but it only took me fucking 47 years to figure it out. So now I'm going to run with it. And that's what I'm doing, man. And I fucking love it. Love it.

I'm curious about this. I know we're spending a lot of time on the not giving a fuck thing. But you mentioned like what other Navy SEALs thought. So it kind of makes me think of like, you know, when a personal trainer is putting things out, they're like, oh, I wonder what this notable coach or what these individuals are going to think of it. Rather than how is the person that needs this, how are they actually going to benefit from it so if i'm trying to if i'm you know trying to get to what you said at the base level when you say not giving a fuck do you mean like you're now just putting forward things that you care about that you know that people are going to get something from rather than validation from people you maybe respect? Does that make sense?

So when I say I don't give a fuck, the truth of the matter is I actually do so much that I just have to like disassociate from it. But yeah, my thing is, you know, I'm a person, I provide a product, and I'm doing things within the guidelines and the realms of whatever that is, whether it's with the SEAL teams,

whether it's with Bedros, and it's with my family. I don't go around flaunting a trident around. I've got a book coming out. They want me to put a trident on it, but my book, ready for this, has nothing to do with being a Navy SEAL. Nothing. Nothing.

Truth be told, I wasn't that great of a Navy SEAL. I wasn't a whole lot going on when I was a Navy SEAL. I mean, there's guys that are heroes and warriors. I'm not them. I've never got on and said I was something I wasn't i did some stuff in the agency did and some other things and then after that i my true passion and my purpose is fucking helping people so i'm not going around you know i know we the whole joke is free cash care former navy seal it's a fucking joke right rob o'neill does that now like all the seals do that as a joke and people are like you're so arrogant it's a joke right like at black rifle coffee they have

a life-size picture of me and i signed it ray cash care for me maybe see i make people say that to me i didn't think i'd get away with that with you i didn't think it was gonna happen but as all i'm doing is is you know my best friend in life is my wife and every day that i get up you know like when i just went viral she's like babe because she'll look at my instagram account and i mean you know they're calling me this and i'm not going to use the words they call me because just oh my god and i was like you got this clip you got this off of a 32 second clip but what people don't know the backstory is that gentleman that i was screaming at was getting ready to quit. If you'd have quit that, I don't know what would happen with his wife.

I don't want to happen with his life. You know, he thanked me afterwards. Is it okay if we pull up the clip you're talking about? I haven't seen it. Yeah, sure. I'm curious about it. Do you want me to show,

I don't, do you have it? Yeah. So which one is it? Scroll down a little more. Keep going. It's got like 8 million views on it. Keep going.

God, look at that. It's gorgeous. Keep going. Keep going. And fuck is it? Staying 8 million views on it keep going god look at that gorgeous keep going keep going and fuck is it staying active hold on okay uh keep going there's rob o'neill dancing no and holy fuck did i miss it is it a real is it instagram it's a it's a it's a real okay i have to click through real so because we'll be able to see the numbers

beneath the thing. Keep going. Just look for something with something million on it and we'll be able to find it. What's the name of this project you guys are working on? That's the name of it. Okay, no electrolytes. I think that's it right there.

Click that one. This one right here? Yeah, because it has plays. Let me see if that's the right one. No, that's it right there. Wait. Click that one. This one right here? Yeah, because it has plays. Let me see if that's the right one. No, that's not it. Oh, yeah. We'll find it. We'll find it.

We'll find it. 1.6 million? Yeah. No, that's not it. It's got more. It's got 8 million views. Oh. We'll find it in a second.

8 million plays. There it is. That's it. There it is. Hey. Only took us a little bit. Oh, it. There it is. Hey. Only took us a little bit. Oh, yeah. You're gone.

I'm not fucking around. Shut up. Stop rolling your fucking eyes. Stop asking for fucking electrolytes and be a fucking man. I don't give a fuck what you do when you're home. You are not impressing me here with your little fucking machines and shit. You're good because you have all these fucking comforts. Shut the fuck up

and be a team player and go fucking join your team. You say another fucking word, you're gone. Now, scroll to the top of the comments. No, of all the videos. Now scroll to the top. Now click on the third one that has 74,000.

Here we are in Vegas. Shut up! One more fucking word from you and you're gone. I'm not fucking around. Shut up. Stop asking for electrolytes. Stop rolling your fucking eyes at me. One more fucking word and you're gone.

Do you understand? All I wanted was some guacamole. Oh. So we made a spoof of it. Wait, was that the same guy? The same guy. Nice. He was actually, yeah.

So his name's Reed Speck. He's a great guy. Shut up! Oops. Shut up! We need that for the show. Shut up! Like a button.

People have me. I actually want to start providing a service. I've had about 300 people ask me to send them videos and be costing them out. On like Cameo or something? Oh, yeah. I need to do something like that. You got to get a Cameo. But the project, that's what the project's about.

It's about men who are going through a 75-hour fully immersive course. But we create growth by dealing with those pains. Because men, as a whole, usually we build up barriers around us and we don't let anybody in or anybody out, which normally like, you know, if you're building up all this anticipation and anxiety, we, we actually are imploding when we explode, right? It's coming from the inside out. And what we do is, is we are a group, you know, I call us AA for the successful people and it's an expensive fucking course. And people are like, Oh, I'm not paying. You're not paying for 75 hours.

You're paying for what happens if you pass. This is a lifelong brotherhood, right? White, black, Asian. It doesn't matter who you are, what color you are, how old, how young you are. If you're a great fucking human being and you want to help people, because in our course, you have to be a mentor and be mentored by others, right? Like perfect example. Sorry, I'm just laughing. That would be like me saying, let me give you some advice on fucking power lifting right that would you'd be like go fuck

yourself right but you giving me that's called my opinion you giving me your word is advice because you've been there and done that and that's what the world needs more of they need to stop the opinion being so opinionated and start giving advice advice, right, to help, right? You do jiu-jitsu, right? I'd love to hear your advice on some jiu-jitsu. I do push-ups. Everybody has a strength and a weakness. So if you have a strength, tell us what it is and help us be stronger.

But also be vulnerable and tell us what you have, the V word. It's like calling a woman the C word, which is creative. No, I wouldn't do that no happy mother's day moms i'm kidding i'm kidding um but and that's what i think the world needs more of and men that go to these courses for this fucking reason they actually thank me for yelling at them versus the guys are like you never talk to me like that i knock all your teeth out then you wouldn't need this course, right? Or why don't you join the military? Some of these men are making astronomical amounts of money.

They just, they're looking for, because it's not just a buds course. It's not even a buds course. We do like fucking two hours of some water training. Other than that, it's just PT, right? I mean, SEALs can't claim everything. I love them to death, but they're like, you know, if I swim in the water, I want to be a SEAL. I mean, I see these guys that put on the shooting courses

and all these other courses. Don't tell me the average Joe Farmer or whatever doesn't go to these courses thinking that if he doesn't, if he goes to this course, he's going to be a Billy Badass. Of course he does. That's the mystique in it, you know? I tell these guys, you're not going to be a Navy SEAL, but be a Navy SEAL, whatever it is you want to do.

Be the Navy SEAL of, of lifting or business. Just be the tier one operator. You're not going to be a Navy SEAL when you graduate this fucking course. And so much so that we stemmed it off and we have, we run three programs. We run a corporate training program and we do, my passion program is called the Squire program.

We are developing young men, right? This isn't a, You're in great shape. I see kids that, I remember when I was 10, 13, 14, 15 years old, I was outside chasing ass, running outside, getting in fights, active, right?

I mean, I'm the oldest guy here. You go out and you get in trouble because you were coming in with dinner time. Now, kids, what do they want to do? They got the strongest fucking thumbs on the planet. And you get in trouble because you were coming in with dinner time. Now, kids, what do they want to do? Right? They got the strongest fucking thumbs on the planet. They could probably fucking squat 6,000 pounds with their thumbs. But they don't get up off their ass. So what we're trying to do is we've developed a course called the Squire Program for that.

Fathers and Sons. It's a bonding course. I love it. Yeah. Right? Telling men, young men, warriors, go out and work out. Go do jujitsu. Right. Telling men, young men, warriors, go out and work out, go do jujitsu. Right. If you're in the age group is 11 through 16. Open a car door for a lady. What do you mean? You have a mother, don't you? Yeah. Go open a car door for your mother. Right. Open the door for a lady. Just learn how to change a fucking tire. Learn how to shake a hand hand learn how to give a man a hug just basic things that society has accepted to not include anymore because i see some of these kids these days they don't have any manners i see kids talking their parents in the stores and shit oh i tell you what man my mother's like this tall and yeah i don't care how she'll be on you. Get my ass beat too.

And I used to get my ass beat by my friend's parents. Same here. Yeah. So that's what we're doing. I'm just trying to make the world a better place one person at a time, one human at a time, one push-up at a time and I'm not going to stop.

I was talking to you about the haters. There's so many fucking haters out there. You got a lot of haters on that video, right? Oh God, it's gorgeous. Yeah. It's horrible.

I, yeah. Some of the things, the words they put together were horrible. And the thing is, is I actually got blocked from Instagram for a week because people were reporting that as bullying, but people can give me death threats.

And then if i tell them i want to punch him in the face i get yelled at for that so it's like it's okay to be abused you just can't abuse back and i don't i'm not going to tolerate it you think somewhere along the line because you were talking about like you're not trying to impress other people um do you think maybe you were or maybe still are trying to maybe impress yourself? Yeah, I think I'm still trying to. I'm an alpha. I'm an overachiever.

I'm my best and my worst critic. I'm just trying to do it. I don't want to do any shortcuts. Before, I wanted to get to the top and I didn't care how I did it. I want to do it right now. I want to leave an impact. I want to leave a mark. If I die tomorrow, I hope I'm remembered as a good father, a good husband, you know, just a fucking like a wild savage at everything he does.

Right now, I don't know if I'm all those things. We'll leave it there. We don't need to get into that. But, I mean, I've definitely got to work on being a better husband and father. And I'm shifting my focus, that work-life balance, you know. her husband and father. Um, and I'm shifting my focus, that work life balance, you know, um, when I started making that money, you know, uh, you get caught up in it and I started like putting them in the back burner and that's not fair to them. So now it's, I won't do it, you know, so I won't, I won't sacrifice certain things. That's the one thing that I've changed.

I, I have certain things that I will not sacrifice at any cost. Before, I would have. And I feel like a piece of shit saying that to both of you. But, I mean, I would sacrifice my wife and my daughter for the fortune and fame. When you say sacrifice, you mean like sacrifice time. Yeah, take time away from them to work. And now it's like, you know, if my daughter has a track meet, I turn my damn phone off. Like, hey, Bedros, I'm going to be here for these two hours. Okay. You know? And I just going to be here for these two hours. Okay.

And I just have to find better work life balance. And it's still a work in progress. There's days where you wake up and you have the perfect routine and that doesn't happen. So, fuck it, man. I'm just going to keep going. Let me ask you two this, though. Both of you guys. When it comes to, I mean, I'm not going to assume, but I assume

with what you do, you are the main breadwinner. Like your wife probably also works. I don't know. But like you, you do a lot on the work end of things. And I'm assuming that like when children are involved at a certain point, despite what you have set up, you may have to, you may have to sacrifice a little bit of time at home to try to make something work. And now it sounds like you've gotten to a point where you have the freedom to now come back to spend more time at home and do more of those things without sacrificing that. But at a certain point,

isn't that sacrifice maybe necessary for some? Yeah, yeah, it is. The thing is, is it's the time that I have now is better quality time. Like I'm only home 11 days this month, but when I'm home,

like my daughter goes to school my wife is actually a stay-at-home mom she got the hardest fucking job in the world she takes my daughter to school every day brings her home does takes care of everything i don't know where anything is in the house but that allows me to be able to travel do the things i need to do hustle when i'm working you know um getting on podcast get my name out there uh you know, um, getting on podcast, get my name out there. Um, you know, booking, getting more signings and bookings and things like this to ultimately bring home more bread for the family. Um, I have a really supportive wife and, but when I come home, like before, if I only had those nine days, really it'd only be three because I'd still be fucking working. Now it's like, I have a lot of

time. Like I'll work four or five hours during the day and then when my daughter comes home after track like from five till nine o'clock i'm with him unless it's a definite sales call or something my wife will be like take that but you know i do i do date night with my wife once a week when i'm home i do daddy daughter night um things that i wasn't doing before right me and my daughter go to a Mexican restaurant. You eat healthy. Your veins are poking me in the eyes from fucking here. I used to have them. And that's the thing versus – and taking my wife out to dinner and stuff. And it's just paying more attention to them.

You pointed out something that's really valuable is people talk about trying to spend time with each other. But I think it's also really important that you try to make time to spend with each other individually. Yes. There's like a huge, like, I don't know. It's really important. I've noticed, like, I have to hang out with my son individually. I have to hang out with my daughter individually. And then my daughter has to hang out with my wife and my son has to hang out with my wife.

And then we all need to hang out with my wife and my son has to hang out with my wife and then we all need to hang out together like all that dynamic and my wife and i need to also uh be alone together and my kids need to be alone together so it's it's a that's what makes it balance all balancing all this stuff so difficult well when you compartmentalize it my wife my daughter acts different around me yes and will – like my wife and me, right? And my daughter will act different around her. And then when we get together – You get breakthroughs. Yeah, we do.

You get little breakthroughs where you're like, oh, wow, like they told me this or they said that. Like you're like, oh, shit, like fucking hey, man, it is super – I do need to be here. I've actually had my daughter tell me something that like my wife did that upset her. And then I go and it's like, hey, because my wife's Italian and I'm like, hey, just then you know i go you know and it's like hey because my wife's italian and i'm like you know hey just so you know you know i'm the mediator and say hey listen maybe we can approach this you're the rational one i am in my house if you can fucking imagine that actually my daughter is me and my wife are fucking insane but i love her but it is it's the little breakthroughs like that you know, and it's little things that I do too. Like I'll give you – we'll go for a walk.

We have a little chihuahua. We walk her. Sometimes it's just me and my wife. And what I like to do, you know, if you're kind of more in the spotlight than your spouse, we'll go for a walk. And I was like, how was your day? Good. What did you do? Worked out because she works out twice a day and she does her things.

No, no, no. Just keep talking. And then what we'll do is like within five or ten minutes, she's kind of like we shut the fuck up no i'm kidding but she's feels more open and because i want to hear about her because it's usually like it's about me me me me me me me and that's really taken its toll because that's who i used to be she'd start telling a story let me tell you what happened to me today and she's like i could see it so now it's like no we're not talking about me we're talking about you and i i'm i'm definitely getting there's growth there with the family she feels more comfortable talking to me we read together

at night that's fucking baders told me that like we're thinking about going to greece so we bought a book and i fucking i'm dumb as a bag of fucking rocks so i read like one page and she reads five but we read out loud and then after it's over with we're like 15 20 pages a night then we talk about it like collectively versus putting a fucking tv on right because you know as you go to bed the self-conscious mind is still absorbing right it's a sponge so it's like why don't we learn something before we go to bed and retain it so we we burned through a couple books from Greece um we've done some she you know fucking macaroons she learned how to make macaroons we went to a macaroon class it. So we've, we've burned through a couple of books from Greece. Um, we've done some, she, you know, fucking macaroons. She learned how to make macaroons. We went to a macaroon class. I

mean, whatever, man, it's, it's cool. I mean, I'll, I'll try it. My macaroons look like shit, but I did it probably delicious. So they were good. Yeah. They look like shit. You know, it's a really cool thing, man. Like you were just mentioning, like you'd go out on walks with your wife and before you'd make it about yourself. But the fact that you even admitted that you used to do that and you've grown from that, because most people would just give advice of listen to your partner rather than saying, I used to actually not listen to my fucking partner and always talk about myself. So that's, I think it's, it's very interesting. Um, with what you do in terms of teaching men, you also have a high level of vulnerability on something like this, where you're talking about all the things that you were doing wrong that

you're currently fixing because you're not perfect. And that's, that's an admirable thing to hear from someone as you're like yourself, who's extremely successful, who has like a successful family, but you're talking about these things that you're working through. Yeah. Even though you're teaching a lot of fucking men how to do better in their

lives too. Well, I just, I think failure is the greatest teacher and I've, holy shit, man, I fail. I fail a lot. And some of the most successful men that I've ever met fail all the time. I mean, how many lifts have you missed? You know, there's, there's a ton that you've gotten, but you know, for every thousand lifts that you've got, you might've missed a million now every time. And that's just what I do. I honestly believe another thing that I changed was, you know, you only win and lose. I don't believe that. I think you only win and learn. I learned from every fucking thing I do. I, my mindset is I only lose if I quit. I don't quit. I won't quit. I saw another video where you were saying that to somebody, you had people like, I think they were trying to bear crawl up a

hill and then you had them flip over and try to do like a crab up a hill yep and everybody was really struggling but i really like the words that you used you were like figure it out yeah fire figure it out that's that's what life's about you know and it's i the the world's gonna throw you curveballs right like if you say hey go out there and do something you know you put that fucking sled on me a minute ago oh shit um but i figured it out. I got it done, even though I was dying. I like that phrasing though. Figure it out. You're not

really screaming at them in that moment and you're not really saying this is do or die or trying to fire them up that way. You're just saying this is a problem. It's difficult for you, but work on it. Figure it out. Problem makers, problem solvers. i like to give people problems and see if they can solve it right as a as a you know you're you have employees

it's like don't come to me with the problem come to me tell me what the problem is and what is the solution right that's that's all i want to do that's what i try to tell people like you know and i hear and the reason why i did that with the mark is because they're going up the hill and they're bitching. This is hard. Oh, is it? Is it really? Let me show you a different way. Because that's what people think.

They think just because they're doing it one way and it's hard, that's the hardest way there is. And I'm here to tell you, I can find a million fucking ways to make it harder with any evolution I do. So what I try to do is get people thinking three-dimensional, right? Not one-dimensional because that's what people do. I got to get up the hill. And my mindset is attack the hill. I in my courses attack the hill what do people you see the hill you can see their minds kind of melt yeah like when you had them flip over because they were like uh and they got it they got like this is fucked but i teach them to attack the

hill because when a man sees a hill first thing he does he goes shit and he walks up the hill and then he runs down it now here's what i'll tell you if you want if you walk up the hill first thing he does he goes shit and he walks up the hill and then he runs down it now here's what i'll tell you if you want if you walk up the hill 100 times and run down it and i run up it and walk down it not only will i beat you but i'll be i'll be longevity wise i'll be smarter and safer there you are there right there they go um and the reason for that is as i'm climbing up the hill that's so fucked oh my Oh yeah. And the commentary is awesome because I'm just ripping them apart. Inchworming their way up. And that is a steep,

steep hill. It does not do it justice. And I don't cut, I won't, if we have to sit there for four hours, they will do it. Wow. But my,

but the lesson learned here is you can accomplish anything if you just start thinking out of the box. So I was like, okay, you want to play that game? Then thinking out of the box so i was like okay you want to play that game then we'll play this game is that like i mean i have no idea like is that extremely tiring obviously like it's exhausting because like you're not moving very far no no and you're happening oh now he's trying to go like what is that one called like what is that which way is that fuck fuck up that's what i call it just this kind of like a inverted crab i don't yeah but that's what that's what they do and it's

i have to show them that no matter how bad things get they could always be worse and i think when they leave the course they realize that you know when they're in that meeting when they're in that situation where they're the emotional discipline is they're're redlining. Are you really? Are you? Are you really? Or are you just only used to taking that TACA and we're at 5,000? Bitch, I can take you to nine. And they're fine.

And they're fine and they get it done. And that's what happens. The breakthrough is where they're like, you see it. It's like an actual switch comes on and they're like, after about 40 hours of the project, there's nothing.

The guys that are still there, nothing I can do to them. They're just like, and I was the same way. Second phase, after I finished pool comp, I was like, I'm in for the long haul, man. So that's what it's about. Mark said something in a prior podcast, and it makes me wonder your thoughts of what happens to people as they go through this. It's like you can't get to someone's, like someone can't really purely change their mind unless they do it through the body.

And I'm wondering, obviously, with what's going on here, you take these individuals through arduous, difficult physical tasks to help them realize something or to help them gain something. And with these types of programs, are these people coming into, it's not something specific. Everyone has their own

reasons for coming in but what is it that or what big things do people typically come out of this with well what they come out of this that's a great question is the misconception is is that was just a physical evolution it's not it's not it's the farthest thing from it you got a thousand pounds when you're back it's more than just a physical evolution it's you got to have your shit dialed in and what we're doing with these men is is we're putting them through pain right so that they can break the thresholds of the mental and emotional because that's what stops what i call the evolution of man is himself the self-sabotage i can't do this is you know we joke around hey here's a warm donut you can have

this if you want to be done is it worth that temporary moment of right of just doubt and remorse for a lifetime of fucking regret no just like buds and everything we do when these people see these these evolutions that we put on and the men that come through it they're training physically but what we're really doing is is we want them as physically fit as they can be so that we can hone in on what's really important what's really crucial and that's the mental and emotional because that's what's killing men these days it's the mental and emotional right the mental discipline and the emotional discipline right redlining because men you know there's there's three colors you have blue you have green and you have red redlining blue is disassociating like if you want to get's three colors. You have blue, you have green, and you have red. Red lining, blue is disassociating.

Like if you want to get in the ice bath, you have to go somewhere else. And green is where you want to be. Why say let's increase that average? Let's control. I'm a control freak. Let's control the situation. Let's get in the red. Let's get in the blue.

Ice baths every day. Sauna. Things that we all do. That is not a physical evolution. That is a mental and emotional evolution. I get in there and I'm like up to 30 some minutes at a hundred and, I don't know, whatever the temperature is. I'm going to do 31 minutes tomorrow, 32 minutes tomorrow until I break that threshold. And I'm like, okay, there's where I'm going to stop. Now I've got to call somebody and figure out how I can go longer. It's the same thing that we do here. When these men come here and that switch comes on, they realize that because men are a savage and a servant, right?

Savage servant. You have a son. How old is your son? 18. 18. He's probably bigger than me, isn't he? Mm-hmm. Okay, great.

I'm taller. Taller. Okay, so if I was coming at your son in a derogatory manner, I had my fist clenched and everything, I guarantee you, you're going to get in the way of your son, right? And you and I are going to have a physical or a verbal confrontation. And most men think that's because they're savage, and it's not. It's because you're a servant. A servant is the man. You had a child.

Whether you're with that mother or whoever, your job is to serve them, to teach them, to guide them for the rest of your fucking life. And that's what I'm going to do. And that's what I teach these men. These men think they're coming here to become savages when in all actuality, they're coming here to learn how to be a fucking servant, a servant to themselves if they want to be to God or whoever and to their families, but more importantly to themselves. You have to be a servant of yourself. You have to understand your limitations, what you can and what you can have to understand your limitations what you can and what you can't do you know what you can and can't do i mean the difference like you told me five pounds that doesn't sound like a lot of fucking but that's that's a lifetime when i squatted 585

pounds if a fucking fly would have landed on that bitch i would have died i mean that's god honest truth versus five pounds but that's what people need to know. They need to, they need to test it and push their thresholds. That's what this course is because the men that go to this course, a lot of people say the misinterpretation is they're having a midlife crisis, right? Men don't have midlife crisis. What a man is,

is he is a double edged sword. He's a savage and he's a servant, double edged sword, right? And what happens is is through time through wear and tear that fucking blade gets dull it gets beaten it gets it gets destroyed you know torn up i'm not saying you can't kill destroy and still you know do destruction with it but it's not fucking razor sharp so what our course does is we give you

the pain sharpen with because you're addressing it and the growth because I'm bringing it to full circle now to give you that fucking razor blade edge that you need to be that – because that's what a samurai does. A samurai will sharpen a sword and fucking hang it up and then the next day sharpen it. Americans will sharpen that sword and we'll hang it up and we won't use it until we need to. Here's the question. Did anybody use that fucking sword when i wasn't around that's the symbolism so what we're doing is every day you get up family fitness finances faith physical mental emotional social spiritual and that's what i've been doing since i was 47 i'm sharpening that sword my sword is sharper than it ever has been and And I'm a better savage for it because I have discipline now, right? A savage is discipline. A savage isn't just going out and killing people,

right? A savage is, let's not do this. You take care of business and then you're done. But the servant, right? I'm a servant to my wife, my kids, and to myself. And I'm going to keep doing it. I'm going to shut the fuck up because this energy drink shit or whatever it is, it's killing me. I'm curious though, for you personally, what are the things that you do on a daily basis to keep your sword sharp? What do you do? I like it.

First thing I do is I get up and I have a morning ritual. I start my morning. Obviously I'm old. I have an MOL, a motto of life. I get up every day and I say, first thing I do, be great today, be start my morning. Um, obviously I'm old. I have an MOL, a motto of life. I get up every day and I say, first thing I do be great today, be a bitch tomorrow. That's what I tell myself every day. I'm going to get up, you know, average human being sleep six to eight hours. You have 14 to 18 hours to do two things in your life. Kick ass, get your ass kicked. So already I'm setting the

fucking tone. And I know I'm going to hear this from Dan Holloway and all them. Yes, I make my fucking bed. Everybody's like, you know, I know Bill McRaven. I make the bed with my wife in it. Um, that's just how I am. Um, my wife gets up earlier than me now, but I make the bed. It's one small accomplishment. Then I have things that I do. I set up a list, a checklist the night before I go to bed. And what's so funny is a shit can change in the time you're sleeping. You wake up just to do it. I set up my more, I have my morning coffee. Um, I get everything set up for the gym i get my calls set up and then i just start my fucking day and every day i try to be one percent better in my family my fitness my finance and my faith now family it's as simple as um my daughter goes to school um she's 13 fucking years old and

i my daughter my wife drives her. I go out the front door every day and say goodbye to her. Bye, love you. I could go to the gym earlier, but I don't want to because I'll miss it. Soon as she goes, she leaves, I go to the gym. So little things like that are what are making me a better human being and keeping that blade sharp. I'm doing sales calls every day, man. I mean, fucking love it.

I'm busting my ass in the gym you know the gym is my steel church you know i i know i'm want to jerk off on your gym in here i walked in there today i'm like oh i mean i got my gym bag right here i was like you know people are like what are you doing tonight i'm like i don't know it depends on what mark bell wants to do so i'm like you know this is awesome fucking being here. I'm like, you know, I told you before I have people have bucket list in life to like, I want to drive a Lamborghini. I want to make a movie about it. So I'm like, I like working out with influential people.

I already got Gunner. Your ass is next. And that's cool. But I'm simple. And that's what sharpens my sword. Just those, the family, the fitness, the finances, the faith, the faith. I get up every morning and say, I got this shit. You shit you know i used because there are people that get up and they're miserable i just dealt with it with the fucking airlines we got we got delayed we because of a

storm we had to go up the green girl whatever and i hear people bitching like on both sides the people that work at the airport they're fucking miserable and the people that got stuck are fucking miserable and i'm like holy shit i gotta get i gotta see if i get my plane ticket changed i don't know where the fuck my bag is so i just go up and kill him with kindness hey ma'am i know you're having a hell of a day thank god i'm going before you because the two ladies behind you behind me are swearing you're gonna buy them a room and it's a it was uh weather not mechanical so you know that's not going to happen so first and foremost i just want to thank you for however this goes ahead of time and i think you're doing a great job she got me i mean got me everything i need i left next two ladies go up there they're fucking short the swords uh we're

not sharp man because they just start bitching i was like oh here we go doesn't work it doesn't man i just i honestly think people just need to take a fucking step back and just thank people and be grateful for what they fucking have. And I've done that. I mean, I've had, you know, in the SEAL teams and the CIA, I've had experiences where I've been close to death. That's not what did it. It was just, I woke up one fucking day and said, I don't like me. And I don't like, the one day I woke up when I was 47, when I was leaving the agency and getting ready to work with Bedros, was scared shitless about business. Like, war is easy.

I know if you're my enemy, I know who you are. In business, you could be looking at me going, smiling like you are right now. Right now, you could be thinking, this guy will not shut the fuck up. I don't know what you're thinking. But that's, yeah. See?

Cut that shit out of here, because he just did. He just gave me the look at disappointment like my wife after we make love i love you tricia but um no what the fuck did you give me let's go how do you feel right now by the way so yeah i am curious mind bullet well you gotta remember i'm like a kid in a candy store i was happy i mean i've been on this podcast before it's there's so much more energy when you're yeah when you're here you know what i mean and you both are bigger taller than i thought am i more handsome than you thought in real life actually yes you have very nice skin elasticity for 50 amazing i was actually going to ask i'd have written down

like how you keep yourself so young but we'll talk about that later because it's i didn't see that because the kids lots of beating off lots of look at that forearm though what else you got sir i got a lot because we had a lot to go through here let's do it we do i'll be quiet you uh so when how old were you when you were became a navy seal Navy SEAL? Ah, good question. Uh, I graduated at 23. Yeah. I actually turned, turned 23 in hell week. Only other person knew that was Jason Redman, the one from act of valor got shot through the face. And it was funny cause we were getting hammered and he's like, he got ready to sound like, if you fucking say happy birthday to me, I'll kill you. Cause you got, y'all would've got killed. But yeah. Um, 23, um, I served, I served 12 years in the military, eight years as a Navy SEAL, and then I went over to the agency.

And some of the stuff you went through physically there and maybe some of the stuff that you've done in the gym, did you ever associate the mental and physical, how they cross over so much? Or did it take you a lot longer did it take you till because you're talking about maybe three years ago having this kind of bigger transformation i i think when it came to all i'm trying to watch how i say this what fueled me through budge training was was rage people telling me i was never going to make it fucking ted take the asvab three fucking times the second time i missed it by one point even my mother was like you're not going to make it. Fucking had to take the ASVAB three fucking times. The second time I missed it by one point. Even my mother was like, you're not going to make it. I just think I did it for the wrong reasons, but the outcome was still the right reasons. I mean, you know, there were people that showed up at Bud's that didn't appreciate it.

I mean, I worked my ass off. Everybody was out drinking, chasing tail. I was studying and, you know, not drinking and trying to get, like, I was working a side job because I wanted to buy a mountain bike. I didn't make no damn money. I'm going to get a mountain bike and how to get, uh, get equipment. Um, and then when you, when you go there, you know, it was fucking awesome. Like, and what was awesome was, is just watching how people like, you know, you're sitting there and you're looking left and you're looking right. And they always say, you look left and right and they won't be here and it's like

poof they're gone and then i was wondering like how could someone want something so fucking bad and give up so quick on it and then you wonder really is it something that they needed or wanted and that's how i do everything now i need like you know i just told you about the truck i just got christ i wanted it. My wife talked me into it. I mean, I've got the coolest fucking wife in the world. She's like, go out and buy it. I'm like, okay.

But that's what I used. I used to just want, want, want, want, want. And it's, when I went to Bud's, it was a need. Like, there was nothing else. I had no fucking plan B. That was it. Like, if this doesn't fucking work out for me, I'm fucked. I had no fucking plan B. That was it. Like if this doesn't fucking work out for me, I'm fucked. I got nothing. I'm either going to be dead or I'm going to be on a ship. Hayes, Hayes way or Hayes, whatever, something fucking underway, whatever it is, Hayes gray underway.

And it wasn't going to happen. There was, you know, I get that all the time from kids too. Like that want to go to buds. What happens if, I don't know, man. I don't know what happens if you don't make it. I don't know. What happens if I quit? I don't know. I don't quit. And it's that simple. Yes.

Did I have that mindset? Yes. But it was in a negative way. I did understand the importance of the mental and the physical and emotional, but I used the rage. Now what I do is I filter it. That's the only thing. I reverse engineer everything, right?

When I was going through buds, my glass was half fucking empty. Now it's half full. That's what I do. So, you know, half empty, what I tell people is, is you're just waiting to see what's going to happen. You're waiting to die.

You're waiting to see what's going to happen. You know, I was wishing and shitting in one hand and seeing which one would fill up more. Now it's, holy shit, man, I'm making more money. I'm getting more exposure. Me and my wife are doing greater and it keeps filling up. And then what I'm going to do is I'm just going to get a bigger fricking cup. That's my mindset now. That's how I've switched it. Right. And that's what most people do. You know, their cups half empty. No, it's not. It's half full because you have so much more potential. And I think as soon as I really tapped into that inner of me, I honestly think there's nothing I can't do. And again, I know who I'm talking to here. I'm probably going to pay for this one. I honestly,

I think I'm going to be the next Jack fucking Lillane. I'm going to be 80 fucking years old, juicing, fucking pulling trucks with my teeth and wearing fucking badass jumpers. I am. That's what I want to be, you know, and I'm going to do, I will do it or I'll die in the process of it. There's, there's no plan B. I'm going to be a better father. I'm going to be a better husband, better provider. You know, I don't know if I'll ever be a millionaire. I'm going to get fucked about that. But I will, I will leave, I will make a mark on millions of people. Cause that's what majors cool. And told me, you know, you want ever be a millionaire. I don't give a fuck about that. But I will make a mark on millions of people. Because that's what Majors Koolian told me. You want to be a millionaire, fucking make an impact on a million people.

Okay. Roger that. So it's coming. I want to understand. When you say your rage has been filtered, because you said you used to feel a lot of things by rage, but now it's filtered. What do you mean by that specifically? How does that work? It means all the things that happened to me as a child, the physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, financial, and the other types of abuse that I took.

I've accepted that a lot of them weren't my fault. And I hated everybody for it. I never addressed it, right? Because if you have trauma, pain in your life, toxic cognition, demon. I used to think I could kill that demon. I can't kill it. I can't kill a demon, right? If someone's an alcoholic, don't fucking drink again because if you eventually do it, that demon might come back.

But what you can do and what I've learned how to do is I've named, claimed, and tamed them. There are certain things that will trigger me. I have a daughter. I don't like a lot of people around my daughter from something that happened in my childhood and my wife's childhood. That's not going to fucking change. But I name, claim, and tame it, and it's like I have a support group of people.

Like I could be driving down the road, and if you and I would never do this because I don't know you that well, but if something's triggered me, I can call Bedros coolly and say, listen, I'm here right now. And Bedros will go, what do you see? What do you smell? What are you doing? And I'll say this, this, and this, he goes, okay, stop. And I've noticed that there's been

these overlapping fields of fire that it's like the same person or the same place or the same thing that keep fucking triggering this. So what I've done is, is I've caught him out of my life. One of them was my mother, my own mother. I had to cut her out of my life. And once I did that, it started giving me more time to create, you know, more opportunity, right? Create. And that's what I love.

I've just cut the negative out of my life. And that's what I've done. I've accepted that the shit that's happened to me isn't my fault. I don't fucking do it to my kids i never will um and you know it's not something i've had a conversation with my daughter with my son's 28 now i've had some conversations with him he kind of understands as he was younger why i was so protective of him why i was such a hard ass on him and um and it's because i have a better understanding with me of it right and uh i have a group that i can talk to about it and i don't want to get you know fucking emotional but sometimes it's fucking tough to talk about you know when you're

young and things happen and you wonder if it's your fault or are you putting off this perception that you're i gotta watch what i say this or that because somebody wants, it's, it's crazy. And that just stews in your head for years and years and years. And it's just this, this sea of rage. And then once I start getting around the right people and I started dressing it and they're like, listen, man, you're not alone. One out of every four men have been sexually, um, touched or been molested. And I'm like, holy fuck, I'm not alone in this kind of shit. Or they've been abused and they've been this and they've been that.

And I'm like, you're right. I'm not alone in this kind of shit or they've been abused and they've been this and they've been that. And I'm like, you're right. So once I've done that and the one cool thing that's been the core to me since the beginning has always been fitness. I don't, and I,

you know, and they always say guys that have bad childhood usually are jacked up, right? Tattooed up, um, fucking animals because I don't know if it's, they're trying to put on a perception, if it's a perception if it's a

if it's a defense mechanism but i am literally like you know i've seen a fucking therapist and he's like yep you're that guy i was like he walked in and said let me guess you i'm like wow okay here's my money you know we're done um but just because that shit's happened to me i i'm trying to stop that i don't want to be that guy anymore so um i mean i don't want to say i'm at peace with it but i've controlled that i've controlled the bear the bear's sleeping so i don't do things and put myself in situations where i'm going to wake that bear um is it something that you still think about quite a bit yeah i mean it you the damnest thing i can be driving down the road and something pop my fucking head. I'll smell something or see something or,

you know, um, like in my house, my wife, I, I, let's just put it like this. I could never have a mustache in my house. Like I could never,

I can beard goatee, no mustache. There's just certain things that you don't do. And I accept them. Um, and I respect them and we're good, you know, we're better,

you know, and I don't know if it's something, I don't really think people that have had a certain amount of trauma can ever really heal 100%. I think it's about being able to maybe manipulate or control my circumstances and what I'm going to allow it and what I'm going to allow it.

But the biggest part of it is, I really cut a lot of people out of my life that were fucking toxic. And some of them were family members that I, and you don't realize it, right? Because you just kind of go through this fog because you're so used, you know, if you're used to getting kicked in the dick every day, you, you'll build, you know, build a tolerance for it. And then someone comes in that someone was Bedros going, dude, why do you let people do this to you? And why do you, and my wife was another one with my mother. Like my wife was just like, no. And, but I was, I was oblivious to it, you know? And then obviously, I mean, I thank God I believe in my wife. And I was, I took a step back and said,

going, you're crazy. I was like, I took some self-reflection time and went, well, it's like, how many times have you, and I'm like, my entire fucking life. And then once I did that, we had to cut her loose. You know, it stung, still stings. But I'm not looking back, man. And I'm happy where I'm at right now. But, you know, but I will tell you, good things are coming. Big things are coming.

You know, our father-son program, we're going to go nationwide with it. My job, my goal, my destiny in life is to help as many young men as I can in this fucking world. I will, I will, I will. You know, I want to, I want to talk about the father son program soon,

but I do want to ask this because like I have number one, I have Mark and Andrew, which are two cool dudes. We've been able to talk about things off air and even on air. Things have happened to each of us. But also I have a group of guys that I talked to also that were able, like if I didn't have this group, I'd have nobody I could talk to about certain things that I've dealt with. And many men don't have that.

Many men don't have other men that they can talk to, other men that they can really actually be vulnerable with. And they're just literally suffering in silence with things so for for for those men what would your suggestion be if they have traumas that they need to deal with but there's no one that they feel comfortable talking to because so many that's why so many guys commit suicide it's like the most like many men will take the lethal approach because there's no one that they can, that they feel comfortable talking to. So what would you be your suggestions to some of those men?

Well, number one is we got to start from the outside in is, well, from the inside out is number one, you have to accept that you're not alone. You're not alone. Um, I always tell them and you're not alone.

It's not your fault. 99% of the time. Number two, that's why we developed like the project for this, you know, and it is, there's a big price point on it because there it's, it's a lifetime commitment. Men that are vulnerable and are alone is because they think there's, there's no other alternative.

They just think, you know, men bottle shit up. That's what we do. We're going to bottle it up and we're just going to be hard asses. Every man has a breaking point. And in our group, right? Like there are 150 of us. Some men have been molested. Some men have been this. Some men have been that. I'm not going to go talk to a man who hasn't experienced what I've experienced. I'm going to talk to men who've been there and done that with

me. There are groups, you know, if you don't have that kind of price point, there are counselors and things that you can go to. I tell everybody personally for me, DM me, I've had hundreds of people. I mean, depending on the situation, I might star 67, but I give them my number and say, Hey man, let's, let's try to find you help. Um, that's tough because, you know, I don't want to sit here and say the world needs to go to the project, even though I really think they do, but cause I'm not, I'm not a salesman, but you need to find yourself an outlet, a support group of whoever you can. And I've been blessed to be able to do that. And that's why I am on the phone. I don't want to say selling the project. I I'm screening for the project, right? Had a guy today and he was like, ready to give me a payment

right before I came in. I'm like, nope, nope. I want you to take about a day and you want to call me back. He's like, you're the world's fucking worst salesman I've ever heard. Then why do I have such a high sales rate? Because I am not going to pressure a man into it because what I will tell a man though

is if you do find this group, this outlet, if you will, make it a commitment, right? You can't just show up, start trying to change your life and change other people's lives and walk out on them. It's a commitment, right? Like you ever shot a gun before? Yeah. Yeah. Once you pull that trigger, you can't pull it. No one can bring that round back. Um, and that's what you need to do.

Find groups. I mean, there's seal fit out there, you know, if it, which it's not a lifelong commitment i honestly i have been part of almost every program out there and besides the project i mean you know we were just we had 64 guys in vegas and we weren't out drinking and getting crazy it was like masterminds we all got up and talked we had some fun dinner drinks men need that men need to be around other fucking men savages you know doing savage shit that doesn't mean going to strip club and chasing women no no that's where the discipline comes in it's hanging out with great people and um laughing and crying and fucking just you know i did a

stunt man when you drank the you know snort the salt and drink tequila rub the lemon in your eye but it's where there's tradition, like develop traditions with your friends, go out and do shit with people. You know, um, I honestly think if you're alone, best thing I, I,

the best advice I give to someone, if they're, if they're lonely and it's the cheapest thing you can do, go to the gym, go to the gym because it takes discipline to go to the gym. Motivation gets you moving. Discipline gets it done. Go there.

See the transformations, right? I am a fucking alpha and I need instantaneous gratification and results. If I'm having a bad day, two things I do. I've got the most expensive Dyson on the planet. I vacuum because I need to see the lines or I'll go out and cut the lawn. Even though we have a good long guy and we have a house clean keeper or cleaning lady that comes, I need results. If I'm having a bad fucking day, my wife's like, he's at it again. But it soothes me. Find something to get results.

That's the advice I would give. Like if someone's hurting right away, I know it sounds stupid. When I go out and cut the grass, I put my earphones on, put my music on, I put my classic rock on, and I cut. And the lines are perfect and i go out there and it takes about an hour of my day away and i just disassociate from the world but when i'm done i'm just like look what i just accomplished and if i can accomplish this what's next and i think that's like baby steps you can't just do jumping in and me telling you my life story and i barely know you but you know it takes time right if you

want to become part of a team trust effort attitude mission right it takes time trust is time effort give me everything you got attitude right here's the thing if i showed up here with a bad attitude with you today if i would have showed up late that probably wouldn't went well should up here i'm like fuck yeah i want to kiss your feet when i shade up here that's who i am i you up but and then mission the mission is growth right and the six forms of growth you pick i'm not going to tell a man what order to put them in put them in whatever you want i don't care just but make sure you're hitting on all of them and that's how you're going to be successful in life and that's how you can get these men and get, you know,

that's why I do these 22 pushups, get this number down. My goal in life is to take this fucking t-shirt off because no one's committing suicide anymore. That'll be the happiest day of my life. That will be because the actual number is about 30. They do the lactic acid and the time under tension. I can't do 30 pushups every,

every minute on the minute. I can't, I tried for an hour. I can't do 30 pushups every minute on the minute. I can't. I tried for an hour. I can't. 23 is about it. So that's my mission and my goal is to help. Procter & Gamble, this episode is brought to you by Vivo Barefoot Shoes. We've been wearing these shoes for almost a year now.

They're flexible. They have a wide toe box. They allow your feet to get connected to the ground and they will make your feet stronger. And they don't look like shit like a lot of these other barefoot shoes andrew how can they get them you guys got to head over to vivo barefoot.com and check out enter promo code power project to save 20 off your entire order links to them down in the description as well as the podcast show notes let's get back to this video uh you said it was uh claim tame, and... Name, claim, and tame. Sorry, name, claim, and tame. What's the process for taming some trauma?

Taming the trauma is this. So I'm going to name the trauma. So let's say I'm an alcoholic. Name it. I'm an alcoholic. Claim it. It's my fault. I'm a drinker.

Because listen, it's not because it's someone else's fault. It's because it's my fault. And tame it. I'm going to put myself in situations. Like we have a couple guys in the project that are alcoholics. We have a couple that can go to go out with us and they won't drink. We have one or two of them that can't do that. So what do we do? None of us drink. Like if, if, if you're a raging alcoholic and if we have one drink and if we're all great friends, and if I can't say, Hey guys, no drinks tonight, if that's an issue with you, then they don't really support you.

But some people were like, well, he's got to be stronger than that. There's a lot. There's a lot of other things going on than just that. So my thing is, is let's tame it. Let's let's not trigger that fucking beast. Let's respect it. And that's what we'll do. And I've done that. I've gone up for I don't need to drink.

I barely ever do. Yeah. There's other guys, you know, like some guys that are like pot. God, I tried that not too long ago. Holy shit. It just made me dumb. I was like, you know, I got out of CIA. Me and my wife were hanging out.

I was like, you know what? But that's not for me, you know? Yeah. But that's not for me. Yeah. But if there's people that do that, I just – I make sure that I'm not adding to the difficulty or the demon to it. So if – and that happens with a relationship. If there's a guy that has infidelity issues, why are we going to a strip club?

Why are we doing this? Why are we going to a club? Why don't we just go out and have a steak dinner why don't we you know just let's let's avoid it you know and i mean eventually hopefully over time you know now that i've made you an alcoholic um you can you can work on on yourself and maybe that'll happen but if it doesn't hey man i'm your brother and i'm your friend i'll never drink around you yeah that that's like uh for an actual like physical thing where like let's pretend this is a beer i'm not gonna have it man, I'm your brother and I'm your friend. I'll never drink around you. Yeah. That's like a, for an actual like physical thing where like this pretend this is a beer, I'm not going to have it anywhere near me. But what if like, it's like a, an abusive past relationship and all of a sudden now whenever something happens, like, you know, you're saying you'll be driving and then like something will just happen out of nowhere. Yeah. How do you control like out, I'll say an outbreak

like that. I have, I'll, I'll honestly, I'll call Bedros. I have, I'll say, an outbreak like that? I have, honestly, I'll call Bedros. I have, like, we have the brother system. I mean, and I've called Bedros before with a fucking 911 is my code where he'll be in a boardroom meeting. You know, he's got like 1,000 people work for him. And what's so cool about Bedros is Bedros doesn't walk out. He's like, everybody out. And you're watching like 50 people leave.

What's wrong? Give me a second. I'm like, you could have just stepped out. He's like, yeah, yeah, no, no, dude. But no, I'm like, and I just like you're watching like 50 people like what's wrong give me a second i'm like you could have just stepped out he's like yeah yeah no no dude but no i'm like and i'll talk to him and he'll he'll walk me through it wow um and my wife does the same thing you know like my wife gave me the best piece of fucking advice i can ever give you um when i started getting into you know hanging out with people and there's men and women you know she's like do me a favor right that's why i got her tattooed on my arm right here so i look at her she said just reverse the roles like what do you mean well if you're gonna go out and have dinner with that pretty girl and you know jason

redmond or whoever just think if it's me and i'm like oh that didn't feel good, right? Because what's good for the goose is good for the gander. So, you know, now I'm the guy that's, you know, if we speak at an event, I don't stay at that event. You know, I don't stay at that place of the event. I'll get a workout in. I'm in bed by 10 o'clock, man, because I'm up early. Here's the hotel room number, baby. Please check in on me because it just, you know, instills confidence. And if she does, she does. If she doesn't, she doesn't. That's how I do that. Um,

I make sure that the people that I love, um, are secure and they're comfortable with what I'm doing. And I feel like I'm a better person because I do, I reverse engineer everything. Like, yeah. Like, you know, if you guys said, Hey, you want to go to a club that not that you would, I would be like, I would call my wife and say, hey, Mark and them told me, do I want to go to a strip club? And if she said, yeah, I'd go. And if she said no, I'd say, you know what, guys? My wife doesn't want to go. Me to go?

Excuse me. I'm not going to throw up with this drink because I'm like hiccuping and shit profusely. Am I? Okay. You might start floating. But if you do, it's a power project first. What the fuck do you guys do? I got roofied by these guys.

What the fuck kind of show are we running here? Mark Bell's never going to have me come back here. Don't you remember you're never supposed to drink someone else's drink, your own drink, and you guys were just swapping them around? Well, no, he gave me this damn thing. I was like, and no one told me that it tastes like, I mean, yeah, it was not good. That's mindbullet.com to get you.

It's good. I do feel good though. It is good. I will give you that. So that's how I try to use that, right? Just avoid certain things. And I think that's what the world needs more of. You have to be selfless and not selfish. Selfish is, hey dude i'm not gonna do that you know if you're a true friend

and the reason why i always do that is because i would hope in return i would think that you're the same type of caliber of man that would do that for me i won't just do that for anybody you know so how do um like how do you navigate like i guess uh so with the project like how long do you guys work with people for is it like uh is there any continued thing after they go yeah great question um so normally like so right now we have a class coming up in june we have october and february we only book out far. So once someone joins up for the course, we put them, they get a lot of things right away. We want to put them on a workout program that they download from the TrainerEyes, right? It all stems under the accountability.

They get some discount codes for meal supplementation, Bedros' supplements, excuse me, meal plan supplementation. And then we do a, here's, ready? We do a Thursday Zoom call. So you can start meeting your brothers.

You know, hey, you can't make it every Thursday. I get it. You're super busy, man. Jump on one. Because then what happens is, and I love all the guys

and I always laugh when I do this, but you'll see the little bubble on Zoom. They're typing and they're asking for the phone number because we're like Talamatu. And, of course, they're going to give it to them.

And then you build up the phone trees or the swiping left, swiping right, whatever the fuck you guys do with technology. But you're building up the camaraderie, the brotherhood before it shows up. Because when I showed up at SEAL Trading Buds, Basic Underwater Demolition, I didn't know who the hell was anybody. I'm just looking around. Met Jason real quick because we were – it me jason jamie and roe and two singaporeans because we were the shortest guys there and i was like well i'm going to be with these guys but they have we're giving them the tactical and technical advantage and then when it's over with right because when you go through our course there's three things that are happening

pass get injured or quit if you pass you put on the suit and tie we have this amazing dinner you go home we'll talk about that if you get injured you guys will like this right injured means what if you continue it's going to cause more harm damage maybe longevity of you not being able to use that right like torn achilles or something yeah but a lot of men right when they get out of that comfort zone they get hurt their ego their attitude or their feelings and there's a delicate balance with that right i mean i've trained thousands and thousands Men, when they get out of that comfort zone, they get hurt. Their ego, their attitude, or their feelings. And there's a delicate balance with that. I mean I've trained thousands and thousands of people and we have medics there. But normally you won't have that.

So if you get injured, you can come back free of charge for up to two classes, which is six months. But if you quit, it's as simple as this. You ring my bell three times, one for yourself, one for your team, and one for everything else you're going to do in life. Because this is the one thing I don't agree with Goggins on. Um, and I love Dave. Um, he says that negativity is the most contagious thing in the world. And I want you to start, start trying to diss me right now. Just go and start talking. Good. I quit. Quitting is the easiest thing. I quit. I quit. It takes you. I quit. That is the ease. That's the most contagious. I quit. I quit. I quit. And that's what people do. You see it in everything. Kids not finishing school,

marriages, fucking divorce rates through the roof. People don't want to put in the fucking work anymore. So the reason why we build you up and do this is we want to get you starting to know your, your, your team. You have the tactical and technical advantage. You only have a fucking 60% chance of making it.

That's my sales pitch. Guys are like, you suck. Yeah, there you go, man. But I'm technical advantage. You only have a fucking 60% chance of making it. That's my sales pitch. Guys are like, you suck. Yeah, there you go, man. But I'm being honest. But if you make it, you make it, you're going to be a part of something for the rest of your life. And what's amazing, and I know I'm saying this to you,

and please, there's no pun intended to this. We take this course so serious. One of my best friends, his name's Mitch Flowers. He's African-American guy, big guy big dude successful businessman his kids call me uncle ray what i tell men all men i don't judge a man on his color on his i i judge a man on what he's doing not even what he's done what you've done is impressive what are you doing now what are you going to do tomorrow that's what i like and to have an organization where men will let me come into their home break bread with them them, hug their kids, because I fucking love kids, man.

I fucking love kids. I'm just – not in a weird way. I love kids. I have kids. Sorry. I said that at school. And we're shut off the air. But – and just for their kids to be so open and welcome with me.

I mean I've come home and these guys have been sitting in my recliner chair. Like they were just surprised me. They called my wife and my wife's cooking. I'm like, God, something smells good. Yeah. I'm not making dinner for you. And then there's Mitchum. I'm like, what the fuck's going on here? And you just don't get that anymore. I mean, these guys are flying in from out of town. It's amazing. And when you become a part of something that's bigger than you, it's so fucking rewarding i mean i'm so passionate about it and my goal is before i die i want to have 10 000 i want to have 10 000 soldiers through the project and i want to have 100 000 young men whose lives i've impacted um and that

you know they're doing old school is the best school right just go you know like i love it like i'm everybody has i saw it you guys got those what is the the school. Just go, you know, like, I love it. Everybody has, I saw it. You guys got those, what is the fucking bean bags that you throw out? Oh, yeah. What is it called? Cornhole. Cornhole, yeah. Yeah.

I have two stakes in my yard. They're called horseshoes. I throw steel. I'm fucking, I'm not changing, man. Yeah. I throw steel, and if you piss me off, I'll throw it right at you. I love it. But I like keeping things simplistic and old.

Look at your gym. You've got some super complex stuff in there, but some of the best stuff I guarantee you get on is the old school shit. Oh, yeah. Right? Oh, my God. I love it.

And I think that's what the world needs. They just need to slow down, surround yourself, and just break it down to the bare minimum. Right? Just, you know, back in the days when we were just animals, you know, simplistic.

We ate. We hunt. Fuck. We just animals, simplistic. We ate. We hunt. Fuck. We just do the basic things and provide. When you do that, then you can branch out on it. It gets so much easier. I did. The world was so complex.

I just slowed it down. And the men, Pedro, Steve, Aaron, and Matt, the other instructors for the project and for the Squire program, they all bring a different taste. Like, you know, Aaron's the, he's a fighter, but he's also the chaplain. Matt's, we call him the perfect pauser. Like, hello, I'm Matt. And he's like, but he's very, you know, intellectual. Steve's a fucking maniac. And then Bedros is, I mean, everything he says is just gold, you know.

So he's through life lessons and everything. And it's pretty cool when you have guys that are super successful and they're just humble as fuck, you know, because they've been there and they've done that. And that's what I think that's what I'm hoping the future of this nation is, because right now, I mean, I know this is going to probably pay for it. I don't like the way things are going. I, you know, I look around. I mean, there's obesity everywhere. People don't respect the country. I could go on and on and on and it's like what the fuck happened but you know something horrible happens and then there's flags flying why does it have to be something horrible happen

for this nation to come together right why can't we just go holy shit we live in the greatest country on the planet trust me i've been every hellhole on the planet. We have more freedoms than we probably should have. And if we start just like all coming together, and like Morgan Freeman said it the best, I'll stop talking about race. You stop calling me black, I'll stop calling you white. I think that was probably the most profound thing I've ever heard.

Like, I don't see a white guy and a black guy. I see two human beings. I do. People don't look heard. Like, I don't see a white guy and a black guy. I see two human beings. I do. People don't look at that. And I don't get it. I don't. I'm Irish. I'm probably the worst of all three of us.

It doesn't matter. Right? There you go. I got them laughing at me. But it's, what are you doing, right? I mean, I follow you guys, and I see all the stuff you're doing. Your videos are super informative. I watch your stuff.

You know, when you're giving your, your lessons, I mean, you're making an impact and technically serious. You could just sit here in your giant fucking facility. That's like the size of Nebraska and just sell your slingshots and be fine. But you don't,

you go above and beyond. So you guys are contributing to society too. And so are you, you don't have to give out those,. So you guys are contributing to society too. And so are you, you don't have to give out those, all that knowledge you give people pay for that shit. You know, that's what it's about giving back. And you guys probably don't even realize how much of an impact you're making

and you're doing it. That's the thing. I mean, you know, you're big time when Ray cash care comes fucking live to see you. Yeah. God, please don't hit me. What is it? Uh uh what does it do for some of these uh for some people that uh might

be struggling uh to be part of a team because what i in my view a lot of times people are we're like seeking a lot of stuff because we feel like we're not enough at the end of the day there's like there's something in there about you feeling like something you're doing or something that you are just isn't enough but when you're part of the team it feels like it shifts the focus where you're not sitting there thinking about yourself any longer and it can help people feel a lot better is that kind of what happens in this team when you're when you're with the right team right right there's been good teams and bad teams when when they're when you're doing something for the greater good right like in a project we have a creed and i'm just going to give you a little line of it i'm a man of my word i

make a promise and i keep it i'm responsible for everything in my life and that gives me the power to change my circumstances right there like i'm a man of my word like if you break it down um we have a creed and like i tell like if you're there are you a man of your word do you make a promise and you keep it yes yes yes um and what's so impactful about that is you have the power and control to change your circumstances and this is what i tell every human being every man every woman if you don't look in the mirror if you don't like who you are if you don't like what you're doing write down what you don't like about yourself you're ready for this and then fix it because saying it that isn't enough like write it down like here you go i see i know you guys

work with people with weight loss my best friend tim sweeney he was 383 pounds i got him down to 250 i got him he went down to 238 he went went way too low. He should have been 256. According to everything. I'm not, you know what I'm talking about? And he put 383 and he put a little sticker. He put where he wanted to be. He went too far and he jumped back up because he killed himself. But I'm like, you need to see it. Visualization, right? Transformation, take pictures, like see the transformation, make a book, right? I actually made the book and you were fat fuck. Now you're in shape. And people are like, you can't say that. Yes, I can. Because he admits it. Right. And now he's, now he's doing great. He's, he lost the weight. He put it back

on, lost it. Now he's at 260 where I told him to be with his, you know, with everything. Um, and yes, because now he's on the right team. He's surrounding himself with the right person. The reason why he wasn't there at the beginning is the girlfriend that he had, she wasn't on the same mission. He was trying to eat clean. She wasn't. That's what I'm bringing this around to,

and I said, Timmy, listen, this is toxic. You can't, being a household where you have an eating disorder and your girlfriend wants to go out and eat fucking McDonald's three times a week or three times a night. You can't do it. Something's got to give, and if she's not willing to change and get healthier with you, then you need to change and get healthier with someone else. Because if

not, I mean, this guy at the time was 40, 45 years old. He, he circulation purple. I mean, it was bad. He was going to die. So he made the step. He found a new team new team player member um his weight's off and you know and now he's like fuck you god she makes me eat i mean yeah good you know and it's moderation right like perfect example the first thing i told him and you know i know we're into fitness is he's like man i had it my cheat meal i'm like motherfucker i don't have cheat meals i have reward meals i don't cheat on anything i don't cheat i don. I have reward meals. I don't cheat on anything. I don't cheat. I don't shortcut. I reward myself. If I'm hitting my macros, if I'm hitting my targets, if I'm hitting my lifts, yeah, my wife, my wife makes a mean key lime pie, man. I'll have a piece of that. Or she's, she makes a tag. Yeah, I'll have that in moderation. But it's, you, you gotta

have, you have to be on the right team with the right team members who have the same mission, right? And that's, that's how it works. So that was a members who have the same mission right and that's that's how it works so that was a great question but that's how that's the only way it's going to happen sir i mean like right now you have a team if the chemistry wasn't there they probably wouldn't be here right right i told him as soon as i came i said i've got the coolest fucking job i want to come beijing so people hear this i want to come work for mart i think there's room for you because we have like a lot of diversity. You're Irish and that kind of

might close the circle. Well, we're watching a series called Outlander now and I'm doing a horrible you look lovely and I'm doing Scottish accents and my wife's just like,

no. I was going to buy a kilt. She's like, no. Sal, you need to do it. The kilt though would look like a dress on me because I'm so fucking short. No.

No. Don't laugh. Hey. Look, even on my tiptoes I me because I'm so fucking short. No. No. Don't laugh. Hey. Look, even on my tiptoes, I'm not as tall as you. Not bad. I'm on a pad, too, guys. I'm actually on a pad to be taller. These guys are giants.

You said something pretty cool. You're like, I don't have cheap meals. I have reward meals. Reward meals. Yes, sir. We talk a ton about the negative self-talk. Fuck. No, that's the self-sabotage.

Yeah. Can you talk a little bit more about that? Yeah. That's i know that's the self-sabotage yeah can you talk a little bit more about that yeah just that's what people do they self-sabotage they people want to throw negative into every fucking equation they have everything i want to do this but um but oh my god but you know um won't can't take off that apostrophe t what do you have one and ken it's you have to that's where i talk about reverse engineering that shit man like people do all the time i actually saw guys that have it cheat meal cheat meal i went on the i fucking wiped it off he's like dude just cross it out no reward yourself for doing good look at it from the positive side and i don't know where

it stemmed from where when did society get so negative people say it's the internet this dude I remember being a kid making a phone call take you 20 minutes because you have to and it was always like I'm gonna get her you know fingers fucking nails are always a positive you made calls on those phones yeah I'm that old brother yeah I've made calls on those phones too so I'm not that far behind you're probably yeah yeah this is yeah no call waiting no caller fucking ID no nothing we still got it done you're talking a motherfucker used to ride on his bicycle 14 miles to the next fucking town over to go get a fucking mcdonald's milkshake damn got it done that was a damn good milkshake fio fio

figured it out man you know society just needs to toughen up men need to surround themselves with better human beings and yeah man and just like i'm positive like well i mean fuck yeah i'm positive i mean i had a shitty childhood um i've had everything happen to me i get to go on these cool fucking podcasts with people like you know i'm not gonna hear but you know in the lifting world i mean you're kind of a you know like i get to work out with him, fucking Gunnar Peterson. I worked out with fucking Sylvester Stallone. Oh, shit. Fucking dumb – yeah, yeah.

He's like, yeah, I know his lie. I'm like, I don't. I'm a fucking idiot from Maryland. I don't know him. Oh. I don't know a lot of fucking people. I do. Yeah.

But I mean – But not Rocky. But it's because of my positive mindset. I mean, people are like, holy shit, you're a lot. Yeah. This is lot. Yeah. This is me. Yeah. Or I could be a miserable fuck.

That's, you know, I'm not greedy. I'm greedy. I'm not grateful. I'm grateful, not greedy. And I realized that every day is a blessing. And I think if people would just get up and do that and have that mindset and start rewarding themselves for putting the fuck out, right? That's, I have a shirt that says PTFO themselves for putting the fuck out. Right. That's,

I have a shirt that says PTFO means be a better human being instead of using words like cheat and can't and won't and, but if, and start saying, you know, now, you know, and just start and yes,

and one and will. It's so easy. It just, you just need to reprogram yourself, right? It's about, and I'm a program. I'm a master programmer. I mean, if you want me to get to any i know i can talk like an idiot but it's about programming yourself you can program the subconscious mind you know this

two minutes a day for um i think it's like if you go 24 to 25 days of just positive reflection i don't believe in the 2190 bullshit day you You didn't become a powerlifter in 21 or 90 days. You didn't become a father. It's 24 fucking seven. Do I have days that I don't want to go to work? Fuck yeah. Do I have days that I don't want to work out? Fuck yeah. Do I have days that I'm sometimes I want to throw in town? Fuck yeah. But I don't because I know that if I do, God only knows that's not only going to affect me. That's going to affect the people in my life. I will.

Here's the thing. I will not be a quitter for my kids. Like people asked me all the time. What was, how did you get through seal training? Simple. Don't quit. And then just do this.

The, so I'm telling you, I do self-reflection with everything. I would look in the mirror and this is the corniest thing and it worked. And self-reflection with everything. I would look in the mirror, and this is the corniest thing, and it worked. And I would take a red line. When I look in the mirror, I would just see a red line that said quitter. And I said, I'm going to end up marrying a beautiful woman, which I did. I'm going to have great kids, which I did.

And one day, my son's going to say, hey, daddy, did you ever want to be a Navy SEAL? And then I had to make a decision, a split second decision. Am I going to lie to my kid and fabricate something? We're going to tell him the truth and say, yeah, I either quit or I didn't, I didn't try. What kind of message is that teaching him? Yeah, I did it. Um, you know, my, my son asked me, did you ever fail a, one of the courses you went through military free fall, a jump master. First time I went through jam PIs checks, fucking failed it. Had to go back and do it again. Imagine going back and telling your command you failed. I mean, it's a tough course. I was embarrassed. Walked right up to

my boss and said, sir, when I can, can I go back? Usually I just go back. It's going to be a while. I went back the next year and I fucking did it. He's like, don't you come back? I won't. Yes, sir. I fucking studied and anything is possible. honestly think, if you just have the right mind, body, and soul involved with it. Right? I mean, this is a machine. It's a complex machine. And it starts here and here. You know?

Yeah. I want to add on real quick. When you talked about reprogramming yourself, like, for a long time, I've been in self-development books and all that type of stuff. for a long time. I've been in self-development books and all that type of stuff. And over time, I've realized like, you know, you, you're talking about being around the right team. And you also mentioned getting those, like you mentioned getting those toxic individuals out of your life. Like if you have individuals that are heavy, heavy drinkers, and that's something you're not trying to do, right. You can try to help them, but if they, if they can't be helped, it's probably not the best idea to keep those people super close to you. Because I've noticed,

at least in my personal end of one, I'm trying to achieve certain things. I'm trying to live a certain lifestyle in a certain healthy way. And when I've gotten the people close to me out of my life that were living in an opposite to that, everything for me started going in the right direction, right? So it's like, everything for me started going in the right direction. So it's like, yeah, you want to get the right people around you, but if you're trying to become something, if you're trying to get somewhere and there are people living in direct opposite to what that's like, you probably don't want to be around those people.

And it's the toughest thing when that might be your significant other or someone you really care about in that way. I wonder, you probably have a lot of men that you've talked to or that you're dealing with that have that. What's your advice to those individuals? Man, you know, I have a friend. Him and his wife are complete opposites. I don't even know.

I've tried to imagine them having sex, and I can't. No, it's just like, you know, yeah. Oh, my God. Is that something? Yeah. I mean, they're the complete opposites. I mean. What happened? I don't know. Can you clarify, Hensima? I'm sorry. Is that something? Yeah. I mean, they're the complete opposites. I mean. What happened?

I don't know. Can you clarify, Hensima? Oh, sorry. Don't forget your thought. Yeah, one of our guys, he got into jujitsu recently. Yeah. And he was like, the other guy was like behind him. And our guy, Graham, started thinking.

Sorry, Graham. Wow. Hi, Graham. Wow. Hi, Graham. Yeah. He started thinking like, man, like,

I wonder how this guy fucks his girlfriend. He's like, because he moves so well in jujitsu. Like, wow, look at those, where those hips move and everything. Yeah,

man. I wonder why his mom told him that I'd still love you if you were gay. Yeah, I know. That's amazing. Now it all makes sense. Okay, so let me go back. Holy fuck.

So the question is, what's my advice for spouses that have the opposite? Yeah, like a man or a woman, because they're a woman to listen to. If they have a significant other, they're trying to get healthier. They're trying to get their mind in the right place, whether it be a boyfriend or a husband or a girlfriend or a wife. Like if their significant other is living in ways that is starkly opposite to development and improvement, what do – Well, I mean I think that's going to fall under the four pillars of success, right? Teamwork, problem-solving, leadership, and communication. So that's a communication right there.

That's obviously going to be – there's going to be a serious talk like me and my wife have talks we have aars after action reports where we critique each other but you know if if something really bothered you have to have a relationship with someone that obviously you can talk to like you know if we're coking and joking and like something really bothers me i'm like you know i say hey do you have a second? Can we talk offline? Yeah. And just explain. Like if I want to explain something that I'm very passionate about, I always have bullet points with it. If I say, hey, babe, I need to start. You know, I get blood work all the time.

My blood works back. It looks like I've been doing this, this, this. I need you to be on board with me because like I'll tell my wife, I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this by myself. But, and that's where I'm going to use a but, but with your support, I know there's nothing I can't do. Like include them in it. And, you know, this is something that we could do together. Like my wife does fitness challenges and stuff all the time. And when she does that, I'm not fucking making milkshakes and shit around her.

I think that would be disrespectful. I think that would be disrespectful. So I think by me respecting her in that aspect, when, when it comes to something for me, she's much more in tuned with it and she gets on board. Um, and so is my daughter, you know,

like fitness is a lifestyle in my house. Like, you know, I'm not going to have, listen, if there's a thyroid issue or some other type of underlining issue, that's one thing. But my house is not lazy people

work you know my daughter's an athlete my wife is an athlete um and i was you know i'm still trying to figure out what i am but i train hard and i think if you have that type of there has to be some type of connection or some type of similarity that you guys have that you can stem off of you know like fitness is with us so if we're ever going to try to branch out and do something new like when i want to go cut down some weight the family already knows i'm gonna be a bitch like you know because i like to eat i fucking eat like i'm gonna lick them look at the veins i love it um sorry i'm getting caught up but But God, to be young again. I can't believe I'm saying that.

They might be a little salty at this point because I just went for a run. Tasty. Get those electrolytes. A little extra sodium in there for you. I think there has to just be really good – because communication is about transmitting and receiving. There has to be – there can't be a kink in the line. Line of sight, me and you. Like, that's not something I'm going to call you on,

on a phone. It's not something I'm going to text you on. It's like, can we have a talk? Looking you in the eyes and saying, listen, here's the deal. This is where I'm at. I can't do this unless I have you on my corner. I need you.

I don't want, I need you in my corner. And I can do this if you support me because I don't think I'm strong. And like, I'm not, I know my in my corner. And I can do this if you support me because I don't think I'm strong. And like I'm not – I know my self-worth. I just also know that I'm going to fucking eat shit food if it's there. I've actually – we've bought stuff before and we've thrown it away. It's like fuck it. Let's get it out of the house.

Or we'll put it in the outside fridge and I forget about shit all the time. And that's what I think needs to happen. And it works for us. That works in my household, you know? Um, you know, and I think that could work with anything like finance, you know,

Hey, we got to cut back on this, this, this, this, and this. Um, and it can't just be like one person cut.

Like if it's something financial, like if you know, you and I are a couple and I'm just saying, I need you, you, you, you know, no,

no, mother fuck. What are you? This is a, we, Hey, if you cut know no no motherfucker what are you this is a we hey if you cut out this i'll cut out this and if you do this and i'll do this the only people in my family that won't suffer is my kids right me i will like you know i told you a new truck i've been driving a piece of shit truck it's 2014 for the last fucking seven whatever years i don't care but my wife has a nice truck you know so it's so now because of that the

dialogue was you know babe you can do this this and this i support you yeah i'm i'm actually i'm like the bitch of the family now because i'm like more nervous to do it right and it's not because i work and because she works but it's um i'm nervous and we but we have that that open line of communication you know and i think a lot of stems from, don't just go to your spouse or your partner when something's wrong. Keep that communication open. That's why we go on those walks and stuff. You know, I do weekly AARs with my family.

What can daddy do? Tell me one thing that daddy did good, two things that daddy can do better. Tell, you know, and that's great. I love that. And my daughter's comfortable to talk to me before. You if you if you go up to your kids sometimes say hey tell me tell me one thing i can do that's better and two things i need to prove one a lot of kids won't say that are you testing me are you testing me am i going to get punished you're great you know

like my daughter had my my daughter had a science test today that i don't know about she's like super nervous i'm like she was studying her ass off. I'm like, listen, you're going to do great. And if you don't, I know you studied your ass off. There's going to be no ramifications. You got all A's. I mean, seriously, kid, like seriously, you're talking to me. We'll be fine. And she's like, thank you, daddy. That takes some stress off. Just the open line of communication is so, so vital. And the thing is, is most people, it's the internal communication that they have the problem with like i'm thinking something i want to say something have you ever done that to your wife and like and something else comes out and you're like oh my god what did i say how do i look in this dress

you look no so that's what it is it's about the communication gotcha what about uh like how do you get because you mentioned like i just want to get 1% better every day at various things as a family man. And like, how do you do that responsibly? Cause I asked this because I've, you know, like, uh, whether it be like getting ready for a photo shoot or like Mark asked me to train every, every day in the morning for the next week or whatever it may be. I'd be like, I want to get better. I want to look good for this photo shoot. I'm going to do this. And then it's like, no babe, we can't go to your parents' house because they're going to have bad food.

So like I'm going to eat at home and then I probably won't go. Like I'll kind of like other things will sacrifice, right? Like in order to like, I've got to get that 1% better today. How do you do that? How do you keep everything in check? Like how do you make sure the family's good while still getting better yourself? Well, I just, I set up, I set up daily goals and one it's literally every day I get up,

I'm gonna do one thing for my family. One thing for my fitness, one thing for my finance, one thing for my faith. So family, it could be as, as little as did like, all right,

tell your wife she's beautiful. Leave her a little note at the coffee thing. Like little things. I mean, when I'm saying 1% man, I mean, it's not like I'm going out and buying my wife a new car, nothing like that.

It's just the smallest things. Did I tell my, my, my daughter, she'd be like, I'll write these little notes. And what I do is I have it on an Excel spreadsheet and I'll put that on a day. Um, walk Nyla out, tell her she looks beautiful. Not that I don't need to do that, but like leave my, my daughter, my wife a note. And when my wife tells me she's doing things like little things, like here you go. My wife has, um a little hernia right here and she had to go to the doctors. And she told me like two weeks ago she had a doctor's appointment. So what do I do? I put it in my Google thing and then I just sent her, like I said, hey, I hope everything

goes good. And she's like, oh, you remember. Little thing. That made me 1% better. That put me on a different scale with her. It's the little things. And that's all I do. I just, I have daily, just little checks in the box. And then once I finish them, I don't stop. I'll start writing's the little things. Um, and that's all I do. I just, I have daily, just little checks

in the box. And then once I finished them, I don't stop. I'll start writing down some other things. What else can I do while maintaining, you know, the discipline with work and fitness? I always, I'm getting to the gym, you know, like today, um, cause I traveled, I still got 252 pushups, dude, for my thousand and I'll be done, but I'll get it done. And if I don't hit the gym today, at least I got that in. So I'm getting something in and i'll probably try to get a clean meal tonight something good a piece of fish or something and just focusing on that versus you know hey i'm on the road i can go to fucking mcdonald's so i can no i'm doing that shit ain't gonna do it that's what helps me now who's next the uh squire program yes necessarily talk about that but like you said

it's fathers and sons yes did that come after you the the project or was it yes yeah so what's that so what that is is that is a 15 hour course and right now what we're trying to do is we're trying to do like a licensing agreement and making it the hell's that a book a nationwide program so right now we have a course uh in chino hills uh and then we have hosts that put it on so ryan mickler from order of mans putting one on in maine we have tim kennedy and wes whitlock that are putting one on in austin and we have nick cumulatos from you know nick from he's a big recon guy um big big podcaster um and he's putting one on in north carolina how do we do this uh they came with either their their sons or nick his son's not young he took his nephew and we made such a

fucking impact i mean these are you know influencers like holy shit you know ray doesn't just yell at these kids because i don't use negative reinforcement on these kids um but i will punish the few for the many and the many for the few and it's just a bonding evolution right like and what we're doing is is with the family the fitness the and faith this is what i tell the young men it'll be quick family if you're a young man and you're the oldest man in the house when dad's not there you're a young man and you're the oldest man in the house, when dad's not there, you need to know your role. You're the man of the house. If you have siblings, you need to know the pecking order of that family fitness. This is what I tell

young men work out, do jujitsu, do some form of martial arts, wrestle, do something that like a discipline sports. I actually like the more individual sports at the younger age because it develops a little bit more discipline versus the kids out in fucking right field sucking on the glove and the ball is sitting over their head. And then the fitness is three-dimensional. It's not just about this. It's mental and emotional, right? Finance from 11 to 16. This is what I'm going to tell you. Go out and get a fucking job.

Mom and dad are not an ATM machine. That's not why we were put on this earth, right? This go fund me. You know, my go fund was paper route or fucking or cutting grass. You didn't get it. You had earned it. So you understand the importance of a dollar. Mom and dad work hard for it.

And then faith is simply this, right? What I tell the guys, you know, team, put your last name there and understand dad and mom, your job is to be on the same sheet of music and make sure that your children, especially this young man knows what the mission of this family is. Is it fitness? You know, whatever it is. And when we're doing that, we then we go and we do just other things. It's the importance of a handshake. we then we go and we do just other things it's the importance of a handshake like with a young man like when you shake a man you don't sit down you look a man in the eye you give him a firm handshake and at that moment when i shake someone's hand my goal in life is they need to know right now there's no fucking other place on earth i'd rather be than meeting you or meeting you or meeting you that's it and men know this stuff i also tell a man it's okay to tell another man you're ready for this oh here we go that you love, it's okay to tell another man, you ready for this? Oh, here we go. That you love him. It's okay to give another man a hug, right? Because that is the true testament of a man. You don't have to, this doesn't solve everything. Um, and it's just basic

things, how to treat a lady. You know, my daughter, since the day I took her out of the hospital, I've opened the car door for her and mama. She is 13 years. Daddy. Yes, ma'am. I get the door for her. I say, yes, ma'am. They're like, she's 13. This is how I want another man to treat her, right?

Because your children, man or women, boy or girl, excuse me, are going to be a direct reflection in most aspects of what you do. Right? And when you show up at the, at the courses, this is what I'll tell the young man's in shape and the dad's not. What are you doing? I'll call, like,

I don't say it. I've never called Matt in front, but I'd pull you off the side. I can't believe him. You know, Mark, you look like you put on a few, and I'll tell him you,

you can't do this. You need to work out. And when we get these men to join up, you get a couple of months out, Hey, listen, take 10 minutes a day, do a know 100 squats together some push-ups maybe get a little pull-up bar you know that hangs over the door do some things together talk communicate and now a couple other things we do and i'll let you go is well um the battle roar right we make the men you'll see them there ah they're yelling and it's great it's their battle cry we're coming into their own right you have the line and you have you know the young

princess and the king and then at the end of the course the lions roar we show them like we and we're battle tested and battle proven and it comes it's a quick click to them they go holy shit yes what this is is a right of passage we're showing them that yes you are on the right course but you still got a long way to go and then what's so impactful is they have to get an ice bath 31.5 degrees yeah how long how long i don't want to say the time but long enough to hurt i'll say that um i think it's two minutes we put a minute okay that's not it's it hurts um and they've got to fight through the pain but then what we do when we bring it around the culminations the field training exercise the ftx this is what we do you're going to blindfold your son and i shit you not if he doesn't listen to you he's

going to the hospital and all we're doing is amplifying what you've been doing as a father your entire life protecting him so lily there's this course of fire nails glass we've got a guy your size swinging as hard as he can byron like and we'll get you right to him and you're blindfolded and dad's just going left right left right and we're not there and if you want want to, I mean, nails, you know, don't walk around and step them over the nails. We tell them what to do. And what will happen is we will, when it's over with, you will see this bond because they'll look through it as a joke. And one of the most impactful things we had, and this is, I'm being serious, is we had an interracial couple, white lady who had a son, she married an African-American

guy. And for years there was tension, right? The boy now was like 13, 14 years old. And I shit you not, this is when I knew this was it. He was telling me, I try so hard and the fathers, because I don't know, I don't get into that stuff, right? But obviously there was telling me, you know, I try so hard and the fathers, you know, because I don't know. I don't get into that stuff. Right. But obviously there was a problem. Right. The son was having a problem with it. Dad was having dad was putting shit in his head.

And when they went through that course and it was over with, he hugged his he hugged his stepfather. And I mean, he was a big he was like, you're a big dude. And his father, I mean, just crying. He was in the army. And he said he told me because the course cost $1900 i would have paid $50,000 to have this he goes this boy has never showed any emotion to me and because the thing is is i mean we knew so we're like put him through the nails put him right by the fire like all all you've got to do is listen man we've had it to the point

where like let's say i'm your dad and it's like listen son listen to me and we've had sons go okay right like it's not even dad it's like you don't listen to me you're gonna fucking die and these kids go through this and they realize that dad is not an atm machine he's not someone that's just getting on their ass he's here to protect me and what he's trying to do is mold me into the best version of himself which hopefully is a direct reflection of dad um and then what we do is we break the sons and the dads up um because about 70 of the pt i run with the boys yeah listen you've you've been there and done that there's no reason you know we don't do log PT and stuff. We do put the kids. We do. We do all these amazing exercises with them.

And the dads will have to go on this three-mile hike, and they have to carry all this weight. Then they meet their sons, drop the weight. Dads are like, that's a lot of weight. I don't care. They'll figure it out. And they do. And they're roaring the whole time. And they're just,

you see the transformation of these young men. It's like, and it's like they've been missing this because what's so also amazing is, I'll tell them, if I see a fucking cell phone in your hand, I'll kick you right in your face. I tell them all, no cell phones,

no nothing. And when you graduate the course, we have this amazing dinner, but what we do, we take it one step farther. And you can see, this is obviously my passion thing, is we have the certificate that you sign. So all the instructors sign it, but then dad signs it. That's the biggest one saying you are on the right path. And these

kids love it. We've had some dads and sons have come back like three, four fucking times. And they're just like, we love it. It's kind of like a reset, you know, when society and chaos and turmoil sets in, it's just kind of like coming back and doing a refresher and getting back to the basics. And changing attire, just little things that people don't do anymore. You know how many men don't know how to fucking change attire?

A lot. Yeah, like, yeah, it's ridiculous. How many men don't know how to do this and just basic things? Because society has made it so easy to pick up a fucking cell phone and just dial. I did that Uber Eats the other day. Holy shit. That was like, this is awesome. Because my, yeah.

Careful with that shit. I know. Well, I got a salad, so don't get on me. But yeah. But it was crazy. Yeah. And that's what this program does and uh it's i mean the men that have gone through it like you know ryan mickler from order man i love

him but you know the thing is is you see me doing these these programs where i'm a fucking animal right it's like i'm yelling in this i'm yelling not because it's it's because that at that moment that's the only thing that's going to work when you see me here like there was an example there's a push-up video in here with me and one young man and this kid was tough and he was like you know i get challenged you want to challenge the king challenging brother and we're going toe to toe and toe to toe and toe to toe and when he struggled i jumped up and i helped him on the last one i said we're even so he knew i had more in it but instead of of beating, oh, that's Jason Redman. No, he, he got shot in the face.

I'll kill him. It's farther down, but same thing, but it would have been easy just to embarrass the kid and show him, but I didn't. We stopped and I said, you were even. And he had a new, new outlook on things, right? It's like a true testament of a warrior isn't just to whoop your ass, it's to teach you a lesson

when he's whooping your ass, right? So I had plenty more juice in the thing, but me beating a 15-year-old kid, what does that look like? But versus going over and helping him and motivating him, getting him up and giving him a hug and saying, wow, man, you've got some real balls to challenge me.

He's like, he'll remember that for the rest of his life. And I said, someone make sure you do the same thing. You know, you see somebody getting bullied, step in and help. We talk about all the issues that are going on with kids. Don't do drugs. You don't need to drink, you know, get in the gym. I've even told some of these kids, if things are hard and you have a problem, I'll get you a three month membership at a gym. I've told kids that I'll give you, you know, 30, 40 bucks. I'll give you, I'll give you, I'll make sure your dad gets it and I'll help you out. And then from there, get your ass a job, train, or I'll buy you some weights. We will make a difference. This program

is amazing. My goal eventually would be is when we get these going is to have like afterschool programs where kids can go in. Do you imagine an after-school program i know you little bastards in here um right but hey but it's like it's like a jiu-jitsu they got to clean the mats they got to do everything there's an there's get in here you know there's there's stations so what needs to happen you get them in there for 30 40 minutes a day you're keeping them off the streets you're keeping their minds focused they're working out they clean up everything and the minute they fuck it up you're gone because consequences have actions or you can accept my generosity as a good human being i've been there and done that i'm opening up my fucking multi-million dollar gym because that's a lot of money in there i'm allowing you

to come in here i'm making you a better man as long as you respect my house i'll respect yours boom and then imagine they're going to do the same thing. That's what it's about. Passing it on. You're programming them. Andrew, take us on out of here, buddy. Absolutely. That was amazing.

Thank you so much, sir. And everybody, please drop me a comment down below. I want to hear what you guys have to say about today's episode. We gave you a lot of shit to talk about, so I want to hear all of it. And subscribe if you guys are not subscribed, and make sure you guys like today's episode we gave you a lot of shit to talk about so i want to hear all of it and subscribe if you guys are not subscribed and make sure you guys like today's episode we sincerely appreciate it uh follow the podcast at mb power project on instagram tiktok and twitter my instagram tiktok and twitter is at i am andrew z and sima where you at i'm gonna say one quick thing because it's on the note of what you were talking about there it's like the best decision

that uh my mom ever made for me was getting me a gym membership when I was 13 because I got injured or whatever um but like I learned I deal with stress by working out and exerting my body and it's it's it's been the best thing for me as just an individual being able to handle emotion etc having that physical outlet so what you're talking about it's on the fucking money um but I haven't seen my a on instagram youtube and, AntimaYinYang on TikTok and Twitter. Ray, where can people find you? Yeah, find me on Instagram at RayCashCare or you can find me on my Facebook at RayCashCare. Pretty simple.

I'm at Mark Smelly Bell. Strength is never weakness. Weakness is never strength. Catch you guys later. Bye.