Mark Bell's Power Project - Rob & Joey Kearney: Breaking Stereotypes & Increasing Visibility for LGBTQ+ Athletes - MBPP EP. 738

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

Rob Kearney, aka The World's Strongest Gay, is an American Professional Strongman as well as the first and only openly gay professional strongman in the world. Rob placed 5th at the 2022 Arnold Strong...man competition and is amongst the top contenders competing at World Strongest Man 2022. Rob is joined by his husband Joey Kearney today who is an amateur Strongman competitor and the couple have become advocates for the LGBTQ+ community. Buy Rob’s, “Strong” picture book: https://amzn.to/3wKeqL9 Follow Rob on IG: https://www.instagram.com/worlds_strongest_gay/  Follow Joey on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jkearney15/ Join The Power Project Discord: https://discord.gg/yYzthQX5qN Subscribe to the new Power Project Clips Channel: https://youtube.com/channel/UC5Df31rlDXm0EJAcKsq1SUw Special perks for our listeners below! ➢https://thecoldplunge.com/ Code POWERPROJECT to save $150!! ➢Enlarging Pumps (This really does work): https://bit.ly/powerproject1 ➢https://www.vivobarefoot.com/us/powerproject Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off Vivo Barefoot shoes! ➢https://markbellslingshot.com/ Code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off site wide including Within You supplements! ➢https://mindbullet.com/ Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off! ➢https://eatlegendary.com Use Code POWERPROJECT for 20% off! ➢https://bubsnaturals.com Use code POWERPROJECT for 20% of your next order! ➢https://verticaldiet.com/ Use code POWERPROJECT for 20% off your first order! ➢https://vuoriclothing.com/powerproject to automatically save 20% off your first order at Vuori! ➢https://www.eightsleep.com/powerproject to automatically save $150 off the Pod Pro at 8 Sleep! ➢https://marekhealth.com Use code POWERPROJECT10 for 10% off ALL LABS at Marek Health! Also check out the Power Project Panel: https://marekhealth.com/powerproject Use code POWERPROJECT for $101 off! ➢Piedmontese Beef: https://www.piedmontese.com/ Use Code POWER at checkout for 25% off your order plus FREE 2-Day Shipping on orders of $150 Follow Mark Bell's Power Project Podcast ➢ https://lnk.to/PowerProjectPodcast ➢ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ https://www.facebook.com/markbellspowerproject ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mbpowerproject ➢ LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/powerproject/ ➢ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/markbellspowerproject ➢TikTok: http://bit.ly/pptiktok FOLLOW Mark Bell ➢ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marksmellybell ➢https://www.tiktok.com/@marksmellybell ➢ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkBellSuperTraining ➢ Twitter: https://twitter.com/marksmellybell Follow Nsima Inyang ➢ https://www.breakthebar.com/learn-more ➢YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/NsimaInyang ➢Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nsimainyang/?hl=en ➢TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nsimayinyang?lang=en Follow Andrew Zaragoza on all platforms ➢ https://direct.me/iamandrewz #PowerProject #Podcast #MarkBell

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Pat Broderick family, how's it going? Now on this podcast, we talk a lot about getting your lab work done. That's why we've partnered with Merrick Health. They're a telehealth network and they're owned by Derek from More Plates, More Dates. But the amazing thing about Merrick is that when they get your labs done,
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Starting point is 00:00:31 And if you're someone who potentially has hormonal issues, whether you're advanced in age or you do have very low testosterone, Merrick will put you on a protocol that is specific to you and that helps you out with your current levels. The problem with a lot of these other telehealth networks is that when they do HRT for individuals, they give everybody the same exact thing and that can actually damage you and not be beneficial. That's why Merrick Health is the way to go. And Andrew, how do they go about it? Yes, that's over at merrickhealth.com. That's M-A-R-R-E-K health.com. And let's say you just want to get your testosterone checked or maybe you want to get your testosterone, your estrogen, and a couple
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Starting point is 00:01:40 Links to them down in the description as well as the podcast show notes. Whoa. Okay, good. We're on. Yeah, yeah, we're going. You have it working? Yeah, I think so. Oh, cool. So what happened with this uh so right in sema yeah dude so um chris kadowski who we're gonna have on the podcast like right after you guys he came here he has us doing all this body work stuff and in his book he talked about the so right so i was like i had to purchase
Starting point is 00:01:58 this immediately i've used it here before but one of the things he mentions is that like tight swazzes can lead to sexual dysfunction because of like the way it connects to the spine and then how if it's tight like individuals are in here and it kind of restricts blood flow to your genitals right makes sense so i don't necessarily think i have like tight hip flexors or whatever i don't work on my so as much but after i did it first off i felt pretty great but everyone has morning wood i woke up with typical morning wood but this time it wasn't as typical it was like it was like i felt exceptional i felt exceptional it's like i felt extra pressure it was literally and i was like and then it was like and i was it was like
Starting point is 00:02:37 powerful and it's it's not typically weak but it was extra powerful so i'm pretty sure like this so right just kind of like that's gonna be the new marketing ad for SoRite now. We're going to see SoRite for ED. Well, and the marketing could be like, be careful with how much you can use this because you don't want to grow like three, four inches out of nowhere. You don't? Well, that's the thing, right?
Starting point is 00:03:01 I'm like, maybe it gets too aggressive you know it can you know your dick can kind of seem angry sometimes it can you're like whoa like dude what the fuck supposed to be a happy moment yeah yeah i understand we're excited but good god no but real talk everybody else should get so right they're like we're not sponsored you should just go on amazon right now and fucking buy it but we are now all right so for the next two hours or so everyone just has to bear with us this is like being in health class you know like in what eighth ninth grade like we're gonna say penis we're gonna say ass we're gonna say gay we're gonna say lots of words and you guys might have a hard time with it. Maybe I heard it in fourth grade from my gym teacher. But that's every episode from us.
Starting point is 00:03:47 There's nothing new for this podcast. Yeah, I know. But we do have to get people prepared, right? Because people, you know, people are sensitive nowadays,
Starting point is 00:03:56 I guess. That's true. More so than others. Do you think people are more sensitive nowadays? And do you think it's a good or bad thing? What do you think? I mean, I feel like we were talking about this the other day like what we were watching like will and grace it's like
Starting point is 00:04:08 the shit that they say on there you would never be able to say now hell like so many people would have an issue with it yeah and like yes and no i feel like some things you shouldn't be able to say but i feel like people are just more willing to voice their opinion against it now. I feel like something they don't like, they can just pop off and just say whatever they feel like they can say, whatever they want. So I don't think people are necessarily more sensitive. I think they're just more comfortable with talking about their displeasure with something. I agree there, too. Will and Grace, I watched a few episodes of that when i was a kid it was a good is
Starting point is 00:04:46 he not jack okay i see what you're saying i see what you're saying that yeah nailed it yeah um but one thing one thing that's that's pretty fucking interesting nowadays it's like i think there there's a sensitivity aspect but there's also things that are legitimate there there are things that are legitimate like there are certain there are certain words that you'd use in high school i'd use in high school right that shit was totally normal and it wasn't nothing was ever malice or it was just like you're fucking around or you're just talking shit right yeah nowadays you're just certain things you shouldn't be saying but it's it's a it's apparent that like those words cannot be used in that way it's it's a it's apparent that like those words cannot be used
Starting point is 00:05:25 in that way it's it affects other people you know what i mean yeah so some people are angry about that but it's like that just makes sense you know find to find other words that can give you some of the same that can give the same effect same meaning yeah exactly you know what's like growing up like even me it's like how many times do you say, like, that's gay? Hell, a lot. All the time. A lot. Wait a second, you were saying it?
Starting point is 00:05:50 I was. I mean, I was a late bloomer, though. I didn't come out until I was 22. So I always joke around and say, like, my gaydar's terrible because I didn't even know about myself until I was 22. I mean, it is bad. Yeah, it is. You're still learning.
Starting point is 00:06:04 I love how he just throws me under the bus even more Joey's like that guy was flirting with you you're like what? he was? like I had no idea no I'm oblivious to that shit yeah when it comes to these topics
Starting point is 00:06:17 you know I think sometimes people get they just get really like they get really frustrated I think because people don't know what they can say, what they can't say, and they feel like things are being like stripped away from them. They can't still have fun with their friend and say X, Y, or Z. The way I've looked at a lot of this stuff is like if I'm intentionally hurting somebody, I want to know about it. I do want to know about it. I want to work on correcting myself because I just think that I'm massively flawed. Like I got a lot of things that I could work on and I can get better
Starting point is 00:06:48 at. So if I say something and it feels derogatory for somebody or for a particular group, I would hope that it was pointed out in some way. I don't know about getting canceled. Yeah, not that far, but like, yeah, I hope it was like pointed out because I'm not ever trying to do anything out of like malice or trying to really legitimately hurt anybody. I think a lot of that comes from, you know, when you talk about like people are afraid to like ask questions or talk about things like especially to two gay men. It is all behind the intention of what you're asking. Right. Like because there's some people that like will ask questions and it's just coming off blatantly inappropriate and offensive to both me and Joey. Right. Like, cause there's some people that like, we'll ask questions and it's just coming off blatantly inappropriate and offensive to both me and Joey. Right. But if somebody is like, Hey, I like, I've always kind of wondered this, like, and they ask a question regarding homosexual their knowledge about the subject, then I'm totally fine answering any question you have.
Starting point is 00:07:46 But if you're coming across as a dick, I'm going to tell you to go F off. Yeah, like how much steroids do you take to lift all those big weights? When someone comes at you to ask you a lifting question, they're like, that happened to me at a high school I was just talking at. Not even kidding. Wow. It's part of the Q&A. I was like, that is a ballsy move, sir. A great way to part of the Q&A I was like that is a ballsy move sir
Starting point is 00:08:06 like a great a great way to start off the Q&A like alright we're gonna take no more questions after that well and Joey's like
Starting point is 00:08:13 filming the thing and he's like behind the camera you can hear him be like what did he just say that that's where everyone's minds fixated on right now
Starting point is 00:08:21 is on like performance enhancing drugs because you see so many people talking about it more openly yeah and then so the young kids are like well it seems like a cool way to make money in the fitness game if i get really strong or if i get in really good shape then maybe that's an avenue i can go down it's a good and a bad thing right because i think obviously when peds became really, they were being abused in a way that was negatively affecting people. But I feel like with people being more open about their experiences with it and how it is affecting them and whatever they want to get out of it, I feel like having those conversations, it just gives more information to people about it, right?
Starting point is 00:09:01 The benefits and the negatives of PEDs. to people about it, right? The benefits and the negatives of PEDs. So like, I think it's like, it's a double-edged sword that people are talking about it more and now kids have access to that information. How'd you guys meet? I'm going to let you take this.
Starting point is 00:09:14 You sure? Yeah. You're the one that messaged me first. Okay. Dating app? The most classy dating app there is for gay men. Oh, Grindr. Yeah. Bingo. You take it. I know my apps. the most classy dating app there is for gay men oh uh grinder yeah bingo you take it yeah i know my apps so so we met in 2014 on grinder um i actually wasn't even out yet
Starting point is 00:09:35 i was still in the closet so i was that shirtless torso pick he's giving a little flex too and i was like oh all right so yeah i'm like i was a fresh meat on the on the app and uh he hit me up and like to be honest i didn't message him first because i thought he was way out of my league um and then he messaged me i was like nice i totally thought he was a catfish yeah okay. Wow. Okay. Thanks. But like what the cool thing is, is like we actually talked for two or three weeks. Before we like even met. Before we even met in person and went on a date. Oh wow.
Starting point is 00:10:11 I was in grad school at the time and like working at a boarding school at the same time. So like my schedule was crazy and like he had just moved back from college. I graduated, yeah. He graduated undergrad. I moved back home. And so like we were just like, we're 22. Like both of us were honestly not looking for a relationship. It's grinder for God's sakes.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Um, and we're 22 years old. So you never know what you're going to find. Yeah, no, I mean for sure. And then, uh, yeah, we went on our first date a couple of weeks later after it was like two or three days before our first date, we had like, we were on the phone and it was like one of those like giddy middle school conversations. Like I'm not even kidding, like seven and a half hours on the phone. And I was like, OK, like this is he's not fake.
Starting point is 00:10:54 And pause, though, like at this point, you still weren't publicly out, but you were you were on the app. Yeah. OK, gotcha. Yeah. I was one of those DL guys. OK. Yeah. That's where it came from. Okay. Yeah. Obviously not anymore. That's where it came from, right? Keeping things on the down low. Yeah, down low. Yeah. Yeah, so we ended up going on our first date and like obviously had interest in each other, like hit it off.
Starting point is 00:11:18 And neither of us were obviously expecting a lifelong partnership with each other at 22 years old meeting that way uh but it just kind of we didn't really have to try kind of just like with the flow we're like all right let's see what happens and it happens and yeah here we are now luckily he stuck around how is uh your love for each other any different than anybody else's if it is different no it's not it's the same right literally the same and i? Literally the same. And I think that, I think when people's, their mind kind of jumps to, when they hear gay, especially gay men,
Starting point is 00:11:50 for some reason, it's more of a thing than gay women. Who knows body parts or whatever. But I think that your mind jumps to sex. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:01 I think when you hear gay men, you automatically maybe think of, I don't know why, maybe I'm the only one that's this way. No, I think when you hear gay men, you automatically maybe think of, I don't know why, maybe I'm the only one that's this way. No, I would say, like, when things are portrayed in, like,
Starting point is 00:12:09 the media or, like, TV, it's kind of like, it's just geared towards sex. So, like, whenever anyone thinks about it, it's like, oh,
Starting point is 00:12:14 just sex. It's not just, like, when you think about a heterosexual couple. And you don't, yeah, you don't think about,
Starting point is 00:12:18 like, no, there's an actual relationship there. Yeah. These people love each other. The word I always use is, like, the LGBTQ community is, like, hyper-sexualized. Right? Like, that's where my mind goes to it, relationship there yeah these people love each other the word i always use is like the lgbtq
Starting point is 00:12:25 community is like hyper sexualized right like that's where my mind goes to it because it's like you're exactly right it's like i post a picture of joey and i on our instagram on instagram and like the comments are like we don't care what you do in the bedroom i'm like i'm literally holding his hand at dinner we're on a date this is disgusting look away bro you know i'm like it's not like you know i'm literally posting a porno of us this is i have a question is it usually like a straight white guy that that that comments from 99% yeah or middle eastern or middle eastern you know profiles okay okay yeah yeah okay but i do have a question for you uh y'all know the comedian mateo lane yeah all right all right so he's fucking hilarious yeah but um my girlfriend she's she's queer and we were having a conversation once because i was listening to something that
Starting point is 00:13:15 that uh he was saying and he was talking about how like he goes to different places and he just gets on grinder like immediate right now as guys we're we're like we are more upfront sexually than women are typically yeah yeah right so that I he was saying that like okay as men straight or gay you're you're more upfront sexually yep now in the gay community for men it seems that like it is sexualized but it's just like dudes that are like horny horny so and it's like yeah we're dudes we're still fucking dudes yeah so is it like literally fucking dudes i don't know how to phrase this question i don't know how to phrase this question but
Starting point is 00:13:56 it it is hypersexualized but isn't it more like more upfront sexual than like, uh, than gay women. Because as men, we are more upfront about it. Right. Yeah. And then also, is there any like, uh,
Starting point is 00:14:12 I mean, if you've been in the closet, right, you've been suppressing all these urges, I'll say. And then all of a sudden you come out and it's just like, Oh, let's let the floodgates open on this motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:14:21 You know what I mean? Like there's gotta be some of that too. Right. Um, for me. Yeah. I'm just lucky that the first guy i got with was really hot there you go you're very handsome thanks um but yeah i mean it is crazy like i remember like when i was on grinder like talking to joey and like all the other guys like some guys wouldn't even say hi they would just send a dick and it's like two or three in a row and it's like even if you still don't answer they send like different ones and it's like the first three still didn't get me so
Starting point is 00:14:48 i don't know why these next four are gonna do it the lighting in this one's a little bit better though yeah hey can we position it differently yeah like not even a hello not a what's up it's just like dick and that's the thing like when i was on tinder that's a guy move yeah girls be like i'm always getting dick pics. And I'm like, I don't get it, but I can see that. I can see that makes a lot of sense.
Starting point is 00:15:09 What's funny now is like, now that I'm openly gay, like in a great marriage and everything like that, like we don't get dick pics. Oh really? Like ever. It's always like my buddies at the gym. I'm sad about it. Like,
Starting point is 00:15:22 come on. It's like, you're like guys, like you're sending all the dick pics to the straight dudes that obviously don't want to see your dick you know like yeah it's more of just like it's i just think it's funny because like as an openly gay man um like i don't get dick pics but like my straight buddies at the gym like yo like i keep getting dick pics from guys i'm like so like how do you stop that and it's like i don't get them in the
Starting point is 00:15:44 first place so i'm curious what their profile looks like it's usually blank it's usually like a burner profile ah yeah okay do you think a lot of people from decades ago were probably in the closet and then like you kind of think of like i'm just going to use an example and i have no idea whether this person's gay or not but like someone like a jo Joe Weider or some of these different people that are – they always kind of acted differently and nobody really knew how to pinpoint what they were doing or how they were acting. But maybe – Look at Janae. Right. Janae Cook, right? It came up and, you know, I mean, obviously amazing power lifter, you know, military, marine, like just like the most hyper masculine dude in the world.
Starting point is 00:16:31 But obviously it was like battling these demons, you know, of being a trans woman. And I think it's definitely like a societal shift that we're seeing that like I think people are more accepting and comfortable. But like especially like you talk about it because like you've been gay longer than I have. Yeah. I just feel like, I think we were talking about it the other day too. It's like when I was in high school, like there was probably three gay people total in my whole entire school. What year was that for you?
Starting point is 00:16:55 High school. I graduated in 2010. Okay. Yeah. Same with me. So like even like freshman year, like I didn't even like necessarily know what gay was, but I knew I was different and I came out when I was 17. So I was going from my sophomore year into my junior year.
Starting point is 00:17:08 But even just out of the whole school, I probably graduated just my class was like 230 people. So like times four, like there was only three people. Yeah. And I was only gay men. Like I didn't even know any like lesbians or just like nothing. Like now compared to today,
Starting point is 00:17:23 like he works at a high school and I'm like, he's like, yeah, like we have like two or three trans students works at a high school and I'm like, he's like, yeah, like we have like two or three trans students, like a couple, I'm like, what? They're just like living their life.
Starting point is 00:17:30 I'm like, how are the other students towards them? He's like, they're just normalized. They just hang out and just do normal things. I'm like, it just blows my mind
Starting point is 00:17:38 compared to like when I was in high school. It was like taboo. You like, just don't talk about it. I work in a very conservative area of Massachusetts. So to see that there are, you know, like taboo you like just don't talk about it i work in a very conservative area of massachusetts um so to see that there are you know openly transgendered students and gay and lesbian bisexual like whatever they are and they're just doing their thing and it's like the trans students
Starting point is 00:17:56 like all the like we have one student that is a female to male trans um trans student and like he's just one of the guys like nobody thinks about it yeah they like use his pronouns call him by his name like it's just like oh yeah that's just that's just him like and nobody you know like it's really cool to like see that happening you know in an area that is you know politically shifted one way but to like see that the students are just like no like that's just them like and they don't even like think twice about it or question it. It's really cool to see that with like, you know, this younger generation that we see. Yeah. It is, it is really interesting because it's like so many people, so many people will hear that and be like, oh, it's because these
Starting point is 00:18:38 kids, they're, uh, they're being, um, they're being exposed to so many things so young, but this is a thing. You were gay in high school young but this is a thing you were gay in high school although you didn't know you were gay in high school yeah um you just knew you were different uh if you had something that allowed you to kind of understand that or like you made a book if you if you had something that allowed you to understand what was going on you would have been more comfortable with yourself when you were younger not more comfortable because it's not like you were uncomfortable but you would have known right i probably would have came out earlier you would have came out earlier yeah you know and it's like a lot of individuals a lot of
Starting point is 00:19:11 kids it's just like they're they're able to kind of understand different levels of what it means to like different levels of their sexuality they're starting to understand it earlier so they can identify as whatever at a younger age because they, they have a better understanding. Now, some people are going to hear that and be like, Oh no, that's horrible.
Starting point is 00:19:32 But I mean, well, that's it. Just to that point though. It's like, you know, everybody's going to be like, well,
Starting point is 00:19:38 how do you know that they're gay when they're 12? It's like, well, how did you know you were straight when you were 12? You grew up and you're like, Oh, that girl's pretty. I want to date her. Right. In a gay kid's mind, it's, Oh, like well how did you know you were straight when you were 12 you grew up and you're like oh that girl's pretty i want to date her right in a gay kid's mind it's oh that boy's cute i want to date
Starting point is 00:19:50 it's the same thing you know like and i really want you just you just know yeah you know it's not like oh well like they might think differently it's like no yeah like once you think that way does that confuse you a bit because are you like like, well, that kind of goes against like... The societal norms. Do you think like almost like, do you think that you maybe have something wrong because it's different than what you're exposed to around you? Or maybe you heard something different from your parents
Starting point is 00:20:16 and stuff like that? Oh, yeah. I mean, at least in my case, I thought like something was wrong or it's like... I never even like... Like even in TV, like there was nothing that I could relate to to be like, like that person's like me so i just automatically thought something was wrong and i'm like they're like you need to be like this and kind of put you in a box like you
Starting point is 00:20:31 have to get married you have to get kids you have to be religious and it just was nothing that i kind of related to so it's just a struggle what i think like a lot of people are fearing is like oh like it seems so they're being exposed so then it's like oh this is another option maybe i'll try that route but whether you were educated on like homosexuality or not it wouldn't change what the outcome would have been regardless right yeah it wouldn't matter but i do see that happening where it's like oh it's be it's because they're being more exposed to it they're deciding like no one decides to just i'm gonna make my life really difficult and go against everything that everybody else wants me to do but even though that's like what's so bad about trying it you know i can't answer that i mean that's actually if some if like they're being exposed
Starting point is 00:21:21 to it they're like oh like maybe i'll give that a go. Like, okay, how many times have you tried something in your life? You're like, yeah, that wasn't for me. Or it's like, oh, maybe I'm into this. There's still nothing wrong with doing that. I tried being straight and I hated it. I think Dennis Rodman, he said at some point, he was like, I'm not gay, but I also never tried it. Something like that. He was kind of at least halfway open to it louis ck has a bit where he says i'm not gay but i've
Starting point is 00:21:49 also never seen a dick i want to suck that was a fucking good bit right like there might be a day where i see a dick i'm like yep i want that in my mouth like it just hasn't happened yet he just looks at her like that's the one that's the one that's it I've been waiting I was watching the movie Dope Sick the other day I don't know if you guys saw it
Starting point is 00:22:16 if you had an opportunity to see it in the film there's a girl that's a lesbian that still lives at home and she's just like I don't know she's trying to like please her dad so she works in the same like coal mine as him and all this kind of stuff and he's you know she's trying to get like his appreciation for different things um she uh she's yeah she's lesbian and she comes out and she explains it to her doctor who's like a family
Starting point is 00:22:41 friend because it's like the only person she feels she can kind of open up to and then so the doctor uh mentions it to the dad in kind of a sideways sort of way just talking about gay people in general and then there's a scene at the dinner table where the dad addresses it to her and he's like you know i can't believe you're trying to talk through the doctor to me um you know if you've got something to say, you say it. He's like, this would be the worst. Just so you know, this would be the worst. He's trying to ask her a question. But then he says, this would be the worst thing you could ever say to me.
Starting point is 00:23:13 So if you tell me that you're gay, he's like, I'd rather be dead. She's like, well, I guess you're dead. And then he kind of blows up, and he starts yelling at her. And it's just, it's a really interesting thing because, I mean, she has no leverage. She's a young kid. So that fucking sucks in every way possible. From his side, he just doesn't – he just has a total misunderstanding. Like I don't think anyone should someone treated their kid that way when it came to anything else, most parents would be like, that's not an acceptable way to treat your child.
Starting point is 00:23:50 But when it comes to certain things like this, I think that people think, oh, man, I might react the same way. If I found out my son was gay, that would be devastating. I want him to do X, Y, and Z, whatever things that you think he can't do because he all of a sudden tells you that he's gay. I think in people's mind it like changes. Like he can't be a world's strongest man. He can't be a football player. He can't be these things, right? That's the problem.
Starting point is 00:24:16 I think it's because, again, like Joey touched on it earlier. It's like especially people that are of an older generation, right? Like they grow up seeing gay portrayed one way, right? Like it's portrayed as typically outgoing, feminine, flamboyant men, right? That's typically all we see gay people as portrayed in media and really anywhere. So I think automatically when these people have this idea that, okay, well, my son's going to be gay, so we can't do this. Like he can't have a family. He can't give me kids, like all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:24:48 You already put them in a box. It's like this is the only thing that you are. And I just think it's like it doesn't change the person you are fundamentally, right? And at the end of the day, like even like this is something like we talk about, especially you mentioned like I had had the book that came out and it's like growing up, I never thought I was possible. Right. Like you'd never seen a gay strength athlete, never really seen a gay athlete. Right. Like performing at a high level.
Starting point is 00:25:18 So it's like you always see, you know, the football players with their wives or their girlfriends. see, you know, the football players with their wives or their girlfriends. And so it's like automatically as a gay kid growing up, you're like, well, I guess I just can't do that because you don't see it. And I think that's one of the reasons like we have been so open and upfront about our relationship and our marriage and the amazing things that we do with our life because we're just trying to show everybody. And I hate using this word, but I don't think there's any better way to describe it. We're like just normalizing our relationship to everybody to show them like what you said earlier is like, it's just love. We're just a married couple doing what we want with our lives. And it's, you know, I think people just misconstrued it in so many different ways.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Especially nowadays, you see a lot of people getting angry at the idea of representation. You see it especially with Marvel stuff. There's this new hero, Kamala Khan. I forgot who she's going to be. Miss Marvel. Miss Marvel, right? And you see the comments of that movie like, oh another uh representation movie blah blah blah but people don't understand how important it is for other groups to see themselves portrayed in a positive light on screen like black panther was a big fucking deal yeah you know what i mean because black kids never had some type of superhero to
Starting point is 00:26:44 look up at you got batman you got superman you got spider-man like these are names rattled off it's all white dudes and it's not a problem because i dig them and they're cool but at the end of the day it's like you don't see yourself there there's a level that you don't you don't relate to that right so when you can have something that like a positive representation of a gay couple in any kind of sense. It's like, oh, that's fucking sick, you know, because an individual can relate. I think that's one people. One thing.
Starting point is 00:27:11 A lot of people that they see themselves in media so much. They don't realize how cool that is for them because that's normal for them. Well, I think like to Joey specifically, Joey played soccer growing up, you know, and just recently we have a couple of openly gay soccer players now, and I just think how much that would have changed for you. Me, yeah. I was not forced to play, but my dad put me in hockey, put me in soccer. I wanted to do figure
Starting point is 00:27:36 skating. He's like, you're going to do hockey first because I had all female cousins around the same age, and I'm like, I want to do what they're doing. I want the white skates. I don't want the black ones. We're going to get the black ones. I played soccer from when I was five years old
Starting point is 00:27:51 and all the way up until college. Man, my son keeps his cleats so clean. His bag is so tidy. It's weird. What happened for you when you came out? Did you tell your parents when you were oh wow my story is different than his he had like more of a positive vibe so i came out to my mom and like all my like immediate family can you talk about your coming out story to your mom
Starting point is 00:28:17 though because i think it's just the greatest thing i mean it's not that great but like we were arguing just like a heated battle on like at the, I was like, is it because I'm gay? And that's how I came out to her. And she was like, well, I already knew. And I'm like, why didn't you say anything to me? I was like, it would have been so much easier. And she's like, I didn't know how to tell you. And I'm like, well, I didn't know how to tell you either.
Starting point is 00:28:36 As I'm blatantly yelling at you. How old were you at this point? I was 17. She knew. How long did she say she knew? How long did she know? She said she knew when I was a kid. I used to wear her dresses and wear her heels.
Starting point is 00:28:48 And she would come. I'd be at my grandma's and I'd be wearing them. And she's like, what are you doing? And I'm like, just playing dress up. Yeah. Nothing is normal. But then I told everyone in high school when I was 17. But I didn't tell my dad until I was 21 in college and
Starting point is 00:29:06 that didn't go like that was probably my worst nightmare was that probably really hard for your dad on multiple levels like maybe he's old school but secondarily just the fact that you and your mom you know already shared this moment or was it my parents were divorced I grew up as a single
Starting point is 00:29:22 child just with her like I saw him every so often but it was still hard to tell him. I told everyone else on my dad's side of the family just because it was obviously easier. It's like, your dad, you don't want to disappoint him. How I told him, I probably could have done it a little better but
Starting point is 00:29:37 I had a boyfriend at the time and I was like, I want to bring them home for Christmas. I was talking to him on the phone and I was like oh would it be okay if I brought my boyfriend because I thought it would be easier to say than having this whole drown out dad I'm gay
Starting point is 00:29:52 what do you think just going down that road and I said it and he was like no and I was like okay why I just need time to process this I don't want everyone coming home like i don't want him coming to the family event and like everyone knowing and like at this
Starting point is 00:30:10 point he didn't know that everyone else knew so like he was probably already mad at that but then after that conversation like i got heated he got heated and we didn't speak for like 10 years we recently just started like communicating like this past year and like he has a whole new like a whole other side of this family like he's married like he has a son and he's he's my half brother but he's a freshman in high school so like we have a huge age gap difference and he like started coming back into my life and trying to be like oh we're like this perfect happy family and i'm like well you just can't negate these past 10 years of you just kind of like pushing me to the side. And now we're not a whole happy family.
Starting point is 00:30:49 But I mean, we're building on it, but my story is a lot different than his. And my dad's like a super Catholic religious person. And I was the only male in my family that had my last name. So it was like, he's like, how are you going to carry on our last name? And I'm like, well, it's not really my,
Starting point is 00:31:07 I don't think that's significant. Like, he made me go to CCD, he made me get my confirmation. It's all this religious stuff that was like kind of forced on me and I just knew at a very early age at that, that I was like,
Starting point is 00:31:17 this is not for me. Like, none of what they're saying in this book is relating to me. So, I mean, it was totally different than his, so it's like,
Starting point is 00:31:24 I don't know yeah mine was great like your your parents and everyone was like cool and accepting yeah i um so i i alluded to the fact that like i had a straight phase so i actually dated like a girl for a year and a half before joey and i started dating and um i we were dating for about six weeks or maybe four weeks before I came out to my mom and my dad and everybody. My parents were also divorced. So I was like, all right, I'm going to go talk to my mom first. She had a lesbian sister. So I kind of knew that that was going to go okay.
Starting point is 00:31:56 And so I go. I sit down. I was like, mom, I have some news. Shit you not, the first thing she said was, who's pregnant? I was like, like well about the opposite i'm gay she goes oh thank god that quick yeah yeah it was great and um so then she wanted to see pictures of joey because i'm like yeah i'm actually like seeing somebody and all that so that was really good my dad i was a little bit more nervous about um because he's like an irish
Starting point is 00:32:22 catholic guy from brooklyn new york right so i was like okay this could be tough like he loves sean hannity in fox news like this is gonna be cool so i remember i was like we were going out to lunch and like i'm sitting in the front seat of his truck with him and we're at we're at this stoplight and i was like i just have to do it now in retrospect not the best idea to tell him while he's driving. But so I look over. I was like, Dad, I have something to tell you. He's like, what's up? I was like, I'm gay.
Starting point is 00:32:51 I'm like crying at this point and everything. And he looks at me and goes, can I still say gay jokes? I was like, that's what you're concerned about? Don't take my jokes away. He was like, are you happy? Like, are things good? I was like, yeah, like I have a boyfriend now. He's like, all right, cool.
Starting point is 00:33:05 And that was that. Cool. And then a couple weeks later, I came out publicly, and my life just became insane. I have a question about that, man. I was raised Christian, and I do a lot of thinking about the religion I was raised with now. I'm learning about other religions, too, so I'm just trying to learn a few things. I'm learning about other religions too. So I'm just trying to learn a few things, but it's interesting because that,
Starting point is 00:33:28 like I know a lot, obviously I grew up with a lot of people from that faith and individuals. It's so weird where fundamentally being homosexual is like wrong. It's so, so when I, it, I'm really curious about like how your father dealt with that through the years or what you have had communication with him because it's like people have been like tried having their kids go to conversion therapy and all this type of shit wild because quite
Starting point is 00:33:58 literally within that religion this is wrong people will pray for their kids and like try to pray it away as if it's like a demon because they truly believe that their children are going to hell right that's why like over the years i've been like i need to rethink a lot of things with christy i mean truly i i really do because there are good aspects but there are aspects like that where you cannot reconcile because an individual this is just just, this is their reality. And one thing I think that's a whole is like individuals who are of that religion,
Starting point is 00:34:31 literally they think that their sexuality is the right sexuality because it allows for procreation and all this other stuff, but they can't even fathom the idea that someone being gay is okay. Didn't mean to rhyme that, but, um, but that's, that,
Starting point is 00:34:48 that's one thing that's really kind of unfortunate because they can't put themselves in your shoes because they feel that if they put themselves in your shoes, you are now a sinner and you're wrong. And if anything, they need to save you. And it's like, no,
Starting point is 00:35:01 you know, you, you can't really even someone who's that strong with that faith, you can't convince them that it's what they're thinking is wrong or that what you're doing is right. So with your father and like with anyone in your family who's Christian, how have you guys been able to have those conversations? I think with my dad, like he says he's Irish Catholic, not really practicing. He's more spiritual. So he's like – he's actually an alcoholic. He's been sober for 11 years. So he's found more spirituality, which I think is honestly the best thing for his and my relationship because he looks at it as not from, you know, the religious standpoint, just more of like spirituality and overall wellness. the religious standpoint, just more of like spirituality and overall wellness.
Starting point is 00:35:46 So I think that's, what's kind of helped him. And also, like I said, like my aunt was a lesbian, she unfortunately passed away, but like when my parents were married, like she was a part of the family and a part of the life, a part of their life and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:35:57 So like he was exposed to LGBTQ community, the community and like grew up in Brooklyn, New York, worked in Manhattan. Like there's a lot of gay people there. So I don't think it was too difficult for him. the community and like grew up in Brooklyn, New York, worked in Manhattan. Like there's a lot of gay people there. So, um,
Starting point is 00:36:09 I don't think it was too difficult for him. Your family. Cause at least you had like your aunt, like who exposed them to like someone that was queer. Like I wasn't the first queer person in my immediate family. So like they had no idea, but like, I would say my dad's more spiritual now than he was back then but even like my aunts
Starting point is 00:36:26 and uncles like for example like i have a cousin that's about to get baptized and like they're doing it at a super portuguese church that's super catholic and i they wanted me to be the godfather so like oh like you have to do this many classes like do you donate to the church do you like how many times do you go and like you have to fill out this whole like packet for them to even like approve it and she wants she one of my aunts wanted me to like lie that i was like married to a man and i'm like do you see the issue with this because you wouldn't ask one of my other cousins to do the same exact thing you're wait lie that you're married to a man or married like so she wanted you to say that you were married to a woman is that what you wanted okay okay so it's like but even that they have to ask those kind of questions even to just like
Starting point is 00:37:09 get a baby baptized like hey so that's stuff i kind of struggle with so i don't really know how to like talk to them without i don't know necessarily bring it into a good light because they're just i would just say stubborn yeah so i'm still kind of like working on that like they kind of tiptoe around it with me it's got to be difficult to not get mad right when somebody doesn't understand someone is so like misunderstanding that it sounds like just flat-out rude or sounds like anti but maybe they literally just maybe like you said they haven't really been exposed to it well that's what I'm thinking I'm not trying to make excuses but I'm just thinking it's just lack of education. Yeah. And it's like, I do get mad because it's kind of like,
Starting point is 00:37:47 you're your own person. Like, you know how to read. Like you, you can look at resources to kind of see this. It's like, it's not up to me to educate you. Like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Personal responsibility. Yeah. Like I'll teach you like whatever you asked me, I'll answer. But like, it's not my job to educate you on this. I think where the issue lies is too, is when you have to have those conversations multiple times,
Starting point is 00:38:04 because then it's apparent that they are not trying to change their view. And that's – I think that's where it's like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm just going to – like I don't need you or I'm just going to get pissed at this point. You know, it's somewhat – it's not funny. It's kind of funny to me. When you're saying a lot of these phrases um yeah you remember when the whole george floyd thing happened yeah um when that happened you know
Starting point is 00:38:32 the amount of dms i got from like concerned white friends are like there's anything i can do oh no no no it's fine but this thing it was all love it was it was all love it was all love but the amount of questions i started getting from white people, right? And the thing is, I actually didn't have a problem with it because certain people were just actually curious of what is it like to go through the world being black? Well, like I said, it's all about the intention of the question. Yeah. Yeah. And I had a friend of mine who was like, man, I'm so tired of having to explain shit to white people.
Starting point is 00:39:03 And for all of our listeners on this podcast that are white i love y'all i love i i ain't i ain't blaming you guys at all i'm just letting you just say like this is just shit that we we talked about all right so hey no hate i love you got questions get the brother up um but but it's like he was saying the same thing he's like i'm having the same conversation over and over but at the end of day, if there's someone that's coming to you and they've lived a different experience, they have no idea what it's like to be in your shoes. And if they're coming to you with questions as frustrating as it can be because you're answering the same fucking questions, it is fruitful to give them an inside scoop on the experience so that they can understand this is what it's like. It's very different from your experience. But experience but hey we're still fucking humans we we go through the world with different goggles but we still are human beings yeah so it's like i it's just funny because like we it's the same
Starting point is 00:39:57 shit it's very fucking similar marginalized groups man there's not many difference between us and there are going to be some people that hear the idea of marginalized groups and they're rolling their eyes right now, probably because a lot of people do. But understand, it's like when you are a smaller percentage of the population, you're grouped into a smaller group of people that you're typically going to chill with, right? going to chill with right so it's like it's not a it's not a problem being a marginalized group or a minority group but it's just like it is a different experience and we're people are getting an education on a lot of those different experiences for sure do you think homosexuality is looked at differently in your community versus oh my g fucking had to do that. Here's Pandora's box. Yeah. So I'm Nigerian. So my mom's an immigrant.
Starting point is 00:40:57 So definitely in the African community, it's it's not common. You probably still have a lot of people within the African community that just aren't out. My cousin, my cousin who actually, he, he died a few years ago, but his dad would never, first off, he never came out to his dad because like his dad just continued to be very stubborn and be like,
Starting point is 00:41:16 Oh, that's not true. That's not true. Even though he's, he's said it multiple times and just purely deny it. We all knew, but like he was, he went,
Starting point is 00:41:24 he was going through a lot of mental turmoil because he like his family or some of his family just wasn't accepting of that right um and i think the african community and and the black community black community more so in america is is i think they're they're more accepting of it now, but there's still aspects of that, that within the community are, it's, it's still a little bit behind. My mom specifically, like she, she does a lot of hair now. So she has a lot of clients that are gay. She's never been, she's never been an individual who's been like, there's something wrong with
Starting point is 00:42:00 these people. Cause there are a lot of people who will say that there's something wrong with these people one of my uncles i was having a conversation with him when i was younger and we were kind of talking about this and he was very very firm on it's wrong to be gay and i was like well we have to love everyone right uncle like it's it's our job as christians to love everyone he's like yeah so so i was like well okay if he knew somebody was gay would you be friends with them he said yeah and then i said would you invite them home to have dinner he's like no i wouldn't want them to really be around my kids and i was like that's confusing but you'd be friends with them yeah i just wouldn't invite them to my home to have dinner with my kids
Starting point is 00:42:43 right and oh yo yo yo this is this is uh this is one thing that i was like hmm i was watching a video the other day it was from this creator i forgot his name uh something omanala he did a he went into the grand dragon of the kkk and he trolled the dude yes you saw that video yeah yeah so so he he acted like he was from the bbc and it has like 25 million views man so you guys should watch it blew up fucking blew up and the grand dragon literally the uh this guy was asking him questions and he asked him well uh would i be able to come to your house for dinner as a black guy he's like no it's like just just no i like keeping things separate you wouldn't be able to come to my house so the the thing is I'm getting at here.
Starting point is 00:43:35 It's like it's kind of unfortunate especially for individuals who are Christian who believe they're doing a righteous thing and believing in this word that's righteous. To say that you wouldn't invite an individual to have dinner if they were a friend because of their sexual orientation, is a very very tough thing to try to to rationalize i think in the mind that that doesn't if if it's all love it doesn't compute it doesn't compute for me right so to answer your question yes i do think especially within the african community there's there's like still a bit of a – I guess a denial of the existence of gay individuals and that actually being okay. But more people than in the past are open to it or accepting of it. Well, that was like the first year I went to World's Strongest Man was 2017 and we were in Botswana. Now, typically World's Strongest Man invites come out like you get an email. It's like congratulations and all this stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:31 My invite came from a phone call from the lawyers at img and they said hey so we want you to be at worlds this year i was like that's sick they're like but it's in botswana i was like okay where's that first question um and they're like well it's in africa and um so homosexuality is illegal there yeah yeah in africa it's okay so what does that mean they're like well like we looked at the laws and it's pretty vague it just says you can only be persecuted if you're found performing an unnatural act that's what the law said i was like okay and were like, so we understand if you don't want to come, uh, we'll save your invite for next year. Uh,
Starting point is 00:45:07 but we do advise you don't bring your partner. So Joey and I had a long, long, long, long talk about this. And ultimately we kind of decided like, it's the first year going to world's strongest man. Like this is kind of a really big F you moment to have an opening game and
Starting point is 00:45:23 competing in a country where it's illegal for me to exist. So I went, um, and shit you not two weeks before I left, two guys were thrown in prison for seven years for holding hands in public. Jeez. Yeah. 2019 I believe it was Botswana.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Yeah. Homosexuality is no longer illegal. Um, but yeah, it was, uh, it was wild. The open violence for the gay people in other countries is
Starting point is 00:45:47 pretty like pretty crazy the even though the united states like people are still like it's i guess there are a lot of things that we're need we need to be better at in this country even so this country for any minority group is the best place to be. In the world, yeah. In the fucking world. Like, it's the best place to be. This is an aside. Have you guys ever seen the Eat the Poo Poo video? No.
Starting point is 00:46:16 All right. Andrew. Do I want it? Yeah, just... Have you seen the video? No, I have not. Eat the Poo Poo African. Is it like P-O-P-O p-o-o p-o-o
Starting point is 00:46:26 actual poopoo god this this video man this was a hardcore meme when we were like it was it you see an african dude like kind of i'll just let you pick oh oh okay wait wait um oh it's a poopoo song oh no it's not a song it's not a song i mean this one keeps coming up oh god god go up andrew go up andrew okay um eat the poo-poo auto-tune remix all right try like okay if you can hang on your side just try to find the original video i got you now when we were talking about that when you when you mentioned it was illegal there's this there's this african guy who i don't i think think it was Ghana or something. And this video, you'll see it,
Starting point is 00:47:07 but he's like, uh, president Obama. Like, cause he, I think, I don't know if it was Obama who had it legalized gay marriage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:14 So this African guy is like in the United States, these gay people, they eat the boo boo. And it is, it's just so wild how like it's a hilarious video, but people actually believe certain things like just wild things. For those of you that believe that, I don't eat poo-poo. I don't either. Just putting it out there.
Starting point is 00:47:36 I hope you find that video interesting. It's not a thing. It's got to be this one. And when you do, let's pull it up. Yeah, I mean. You said Uganda? Uganda. Yes, Uganda. Oh, yeah. Please play this. You want sound too? Yeah, I want sound. Are you do? Let's pull it up. Yeah, I mean... You said Uganda? Uganda! Yes, Uganda!
Starting point is 00:47:45 Oh, yeah, please play this. You want sound, too? Yeah, I want sound. Are you sure? I think we're going to be okay. We're getting the full experience. Dog, this is a hilarious video. To make sure that sodomy and homosexuality
Starting point is 00:47:56 never sees the light of legality in this land of the Pearl of Africa. I've taken time to do a little research to know what homosexuals do in the privacy of their bedroom. One of the things they do is called anal licking. A man's anus is licked like
Starting point is 00:48:16 this by the other person, like ice cream. And then what happens, even poopoo comes out. The other one poopoo's out, and then they eat the poopoo comes out the other one poopoo's out and then they eat the poopoo the other one they do the guy's taking notes where they insert their hand
Starting point is 00:48:33 into the other man's hand and it goes all the way and it is so painful they have to take drugs but they enjoy it apparently he did a lot of research i know i was gonna say he was like getting really into that research he's like it looks like this you pull this cheek apart i watched it many times and he's like don't just stick your tongue you got your whole face in there
Starting point is 00:49:02 at the end of this video at the end that video, he says something and all the people in the room screamed like, ah, it's just. They run out of the room in horror. Oh my God. I wonder what that guy wrote down. That's kind of the game there. What notes are you taking? That guy thought that was really noteworthy.
Starting point is 00:49:18 He's like, I better write this down. Oh my God. That video is too funny. Anyway. Damn. Now you know the eat the poo poo meme. Eat the poo poo. Eat the poo poo. Eat the poo poo forever.
Starting point is 00:49:27 I got to check out all the remixes now. I know. That's a lot. You said something interesting earlier when you said, you've been gay longer than me. Stuff like that. For a straight guy, it throws you off a bit. Wait a second. So I'm a late bloomer, right?
Starting point is 00:49:47 Like I didn't come out until I was 22 years old. Lived a very heteronormative life for majority – all of my younger years, right? Through high school and college and everything like that. And it just – I had suppressed like those feelings for a really long time. I grew up thinking that I needed to have a wife and kids and that like white picket fence life. And that's pretty much all I had focused on. I mean, I say that, but I also like looking back, um, like I never had girlfriends growing up. Like I always kind of think of myself as like almost as an asexual kid. Um, like in high school I was
Starting point is 00:50:23 unbelievably involved. I was a football player. I was a cheerleader, obviously lifting weights. I was class president, had a band, like did a lot of things. And I was never one of those guys that was like, oh yeah, like I need to be in a relationship or have a significant other. And that was never like a thought of mine. And that kind of carried through through college, you know, and then, you know, met a girl and decided to get in a relationship and realized it wasn't for me. But I also think like it was really important for me to have that because when I came out, like I ended that relationship because I was finally dealing with what was in the back of my mind for so many years. You know, like I'm in a relationship with a girl girl but like jerking off to gay porn right i'm like this this isn't right right like but like i didn't want to accept myself for the reality of what my life was going to be and you know i just
Starting point is 00:51:19 kind of had i don't know why or what caused it but like I had this moment one day when I woke up. I was like, I can't do this anymore. Like it's exhausting. It's exhausting to like wake up every day and like have to pretend to be somebody or not. Right? Like imagine you going through life every single day and you have to think about how you're going to interact with your friends because you don't want to say the wrong thing or like lead them in a certain way. Don't want to say the wrong thing or like lead them in a certain way. How you walk, how, you know, just like thinking like cognitively thinking about every single action you perform that day. It's fucking tiring.
Starting point is 00:51:58 And like I just got to a point where I was like, I just can't do this anymore. Ended that relationship to kind of like explore my sexuality and like kind of I say it was like this journey of like self-realization, right? Like finally like bring to light all of these thoughts that I put in such a dark place for so long. Um, and you know, I was just really fortunate that not long after I met him and like, that honestly helped me so much because like we met and like, we first started dating. I was like, Oh shit.. Like this is what it really means to be happy because I had never felt that. Like I had never been able to just like let my guard down and be myself and like let people in to see the real me. And like once I was able to do this, I was like, oh, fuck. This is amazing.
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Starting point is 00:53:28 Let's go ahead and get back to this podcast. And I know you just mentioned, you mentioned like having to cognitively think about the actions you take and the way you interact with other people. Do you feel that you still do that to an extent? Like both of you guys, do you feel that there's a level that you still do that? Cause like if, if I'm being real,, there are things that I do because, especially when I go and meet new people, I'm very aware of the way I look. I'm 6'2", 250 and black. And when I don't smile, I look like I'm menacing.
Starting point is 00:53:55 So I make sure that I smile. Some people, I'll make my voice a little bit higher and a little bit softer so they feel a little bit more comfortable around me. What was the face you made? Like letting somebody go or whatever was the face you made? Letting somebody go or whatever? What do you mean? I don't know. You made that face. You were like that little... It's so cute. I know.
Starting point is 00:54:18 That's the little wave to the old white guy that he walks past, right? The old guy who's kind of like... Don't worry, sir. I won't hurt you't worry no seriously like there are certain things i do so individuals aren't threatened by me because i'm very aware of the way i look now for you for you guys do you do you still navigate in a different type of way do you i know maybe not to the level you used to but is there still some of that or no for me no for him yes for me i'm just like fuck it this is me you're gonna get it yeah right like and that's that's also the mentality i had when i came out right because i'm like 22 in grad school
Starting point is 00:54:50 and i just had this like fuck you mentality where i'm like well if you don't like me i don't need you right and you're a big dude so it kind of helps yeah that does help yeah you on the other hand well for me like once i start talking it's like glitter is just shooting out of my mouth so i can't really like hide that but it's like when I go to different like groups of people like that's a very talented special but it's like you're saying like you soften your voice like I try to like deepen my
Starting point is 00:55:14 voice but it doesn't really work that well but it's like when I hang out with more of like my straight guy friends or like all my girlfriends that like their boyfriends or husbands or whatever like I do kind of act more like not myself. Like I kind of contain myself more than if I was just with them, like I'm way more gay.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Yeah. That's the thing is like he, you know, like even just like to come on this podcast, he had anxiety about like, like are the things I can't say, like how should I talk? Like how can I act like all this?
Starting point is 00:55:39 I'm like, no, they really don't. Like we're popping his cherry here today. I know. I know this is joey's first podcast you're great for podcasts too by the way you're you're fucking awesome so yeah good shit be gay babe yeah well it's kind of like i'm still like working through even now like i'm 30 and it's like all that stuff i had to deal with when i was younger is like you don't be
Starting point is 00:56:00 who you are because no one likes that so it's like still now i'm trying to like okay like i can be my be myself and it's like he's saying like you just need to not give a fuck and just do it and let them deal with the consequence of how they were mentioned earlier someone like janae like uh having demons to battle is that the way that maybe both of you guys have felt in the past and do you still feel that way to some extent i don't necessarily feel that way any anymore because like I said, it's like I understand what it means to be happy and experience like real love. Right. And after faking it for so long and now knowing what it really feels like, you know, I just want to live in that space. Like I don't want anything to get in the way of that. space. Like, I don't want anything to get in the way of that. So for me, it's like, I dealt with it for a long time, but I also just have this kind of weird inability to just like say, okay, it's over, it's done, get out of here. And I don't think about it anymore. Right. And I think that's
Starting point is 00:56:56 a strength of mine. He's a little bit more analytical. Yeah. Like for me, it's like, that's kind of why I like stayed like playing sports, even when I was like younger, like I didn't want to play them, but like it was one way to like be masculine and, it's, like, that's kind of why I, like, stayed, like, playing sports, even when I was, like, younger. Like, I didn't want to play them, but, like, it was one way to, like, be masculine. And, like, even working out now, like, that's why I love, like, lifting weights, because it makes me more, I don't want to say more masculine, but it just, like, brings me to that line instead of being so feminine, because that's just naturally how I am. And it's, like, I would say more internal, like, demons, like, with myself, like, not with, like, other people. Yeah. But. I am and it's like I would say more internal like demons like with myself like not with like other people yeah but why is being gay like intertwined sometimes with being more feminine do you think like just because it's not like portrayed as that but like when you think of it it's like always femininity and just like being super queer it's like you're dainty and little and like you want to be skinny it's like that's why I like working out because it's like I just want to be different
Starting point is 00:57:43 like I like being sought out because I I'm big I lift weights but then it's like that's why i like working out because it's like i just want to be different like i like being i like being sought out because i i'm big i lift weights but then it's like when you see me and i don't talk it's like oh like there's a straight dude over there like okay but then i when i open my mouth and they're like oh okay hey what's up yeah yeah especially i mean honestly with how it's with how being gay has been portrayed in tv shows like when i look back at old tv like will and grace or any tv show where you saw a gay dude he was always like he always had his voice high and he was always doing the hand movement and it's like yeah exactly and that's what you automatically think of when you think of someone who's gay well that's like for me it's like i present very masculine right
Starting point is 00:58:21 like i'm a 285 pound strong man with a Mohawk. And when, when I tell people, when I say like, oh, I'm gay or like people see a ring on my finger and they'll say like, oh, you're married. Like, what's your wife's name? And I'll be like, oh, well, like I'm gay. Like my husband's name is Joey. They're like, oh, you don't look gay. Like, oh, well, sorry. I don't have my rainbow Mohawk today. You know, but like know, but like that's been like one of our really big goals is like making people realize like gay doesn't look one way. Right? Like. But you can be both.
Starting point is 00:58:52 It's like you're on that spectrum of like you're masculine and you're feminine. It's just about kind of like meshing between the two. Oh, yeah. You're not just super gay and feminine all the time. It's like you're still masculine even though you're femme. Yeah. You know. Still have my feminine.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Like we watch RuPaul's Drag Race and I wish I was up there on the catwalk and he was like. You know, it's like, you're still masculine even though you're femme. Still have my femme. Like, we watch RuPaul's Drag Race and I wish I was up there on the catwalk and he was like, you know, even though I was told by a drag, this is like one moment
Starting point is 00:59:12 in my life that really gets on my skin. No, it pisses me off. So we were at a drag show and one of our friends, she was performing and she comes up to us
Starting point is 00:59:20 and she comes up to us and she's like, oh my God, you're gorgeous. We should get you in drag. You have such an amazing body. All this stuff, like hyping him up hard without a beat turns to me goes you'd make a very awkward woman i was like fuck you you're like bullshit like yeah i might have like football pads for shoulders but we could make it work. Yeah, I'm never going to forget that.
Starting point is 00:59:46 That one stung. Oh, it really did. It's like, come on. Yeah, that hurt. Especially just because like she was hyping him up so much. I'm like, obviously he's beautiful. He would look great as a woman.
Starting point is 00:59:57 I don't necessarily agree if I look good as a woman, but like I could walk in heels, but everything else about that. But yeah, just like the quick wit and how she turned around and just came out with that. I was like, fuck, that stings. Joey, you're training for a Strongman competition coming up soon, right? Yeah, July 23rd.
Starting point is 01:00:12 And you've competed before in Strongman? Yeah, so I've done a couple of shows. I've done mostly novice, so now I'm doing an open class. So 175, so I actually sit at like 190, so I have to cut. It's got a little water cut coming up. Do you guys train together, or is that and it doesn't work well? We do for the most part. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:30 We try to train together as much as possible. It's really cool to be able to share that time together. We both work full-time jobs, and if we weren't training together, we'd see each other for about 30 minutes a day. Whoa. We have opposite schedules. Yeah. So it's nice to be able to go to the gym gym with each other spend some time and just like also support each other right like i'm training for world's strongest man but like i also put as much emphasis in his
Starting point is 01:00:53 training getting ready for his contest you know and like he's very modest when he talks about himself pretty strong man like he's done like four shows and he's always been on the podium oh shit so like he's he's good um and you know so it's just it's exciting for me now too it's like you know i'm at world's strongest man this week and then like the folks is going to switch to his prep you know for his show and that's we're going to put a lot of energy it's like it's exciting to be able to like share that you know share a sport like this with with you with your partner what made you i mean other like was it like that he did strongman that had you interested in it or were was there something else that you're like, I want to do this?
Starting point is 01:01:28 Well, even before I met him, I played sports in college, but I never did the lifting portion. It was more so because I was timid to even go in there and be like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. All these people are going to look at me because it's all these hyper-masking dudes in there. So I'm like, I already look like an idiot, so I'm not going to do it. But then when I met him, he taught me how to lift like he taught me all the form and technique so i kind of gained my confidence from that and just being more like because i'm just i'm a feminine guy so doing strongman kind of helps lean me into that masculine side that i always wanted to like kind of have but just never really knew how to do it yeah he's also really annoyingly athletic
Starting point is 01:02:02 like mobility and shit too oh and just like he's strong the first time he ever did atlas stones he loaded a 275 stone what yeah i just first time he ever did a barbell snatch i'm a visual person five whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah like that's not normal first time you ever did a barbell snatch you did 205 yeah full squat overhead like oh you're feeling some type of way yeah no because blow out my shoulders and my hair yeah no everything else yeah it was like everybody was like the fuck what like it just yeah that's crazy so i mean honestly like you being an athlete has helped with that because even when you're in the gym like the way you move you have good
Starting point is 01:02:43 range of motion different joints and stuff yeah i've got mobility too yeah that's crazy well i think that's from like track like i did hurdle so i did 110 and i did 400 hurdle so like i always worked on mobility in my hips yeah like that just like kind of carried through until now what do you guys fight about that might be different and what do you fight about that might be the same as regular couples you were talking about like you you talked a lot about going to that event where homosexuality is illegal or the World's Strongest Man competition and you guys had a long discussion. Do you guys like – do you even argue –
Starting point is 01:03:16 like do you feel any particular different way about being gay than he does perhaps and do you kind of butt heads or do you guys feel similar enough in those areas that kind of stuff i think for me it's like i'm i'm really confident in being a gay man right and like i want to walk down the street and hold his hand and i want to be able to like show off that this guy's my husband um and i think like that took a lot it took him a lot of getting used to right i was out before him so it's kind of like. That's very normal for couples to, yeah,
Starting point is 01:03:46 one person and a couple, more touchy feely. Yeah. Yeah. But I think like, we just have regular stupid fucking arguments. Yeah, like my pet peeve is when I have to like,
Starting point is 01:03:57 say something more than once to him, especially like when he's like five feet away, and I'm like looking at him, and I'm like, I say something, he's like, what? What?
Starting point is 01:04:04 And I'm like, oh my fucking God he's like, what, what? And I'm like, Oh my fucking God. That's pretty. That's, that's a normal occurrence. Every single week. He's like, you're mumbling.
Starting point is 01:04:11 I'm like, you're literally looking at me. Just read my lips. If you can't hear me, I have a question. I know we talked about this in the last podcast, but you mentioned that the strongman community is actually pretty cool. Like with,
Starting point is 01:04:22 with the, how, how's your been experience also been with like the strongman community going into it competing cool. How's your experience also been with the strongman community, going into it, competing? Has it pretty much all been positive? Yeah, for the most part. I don't even think negative-wise I've had any experiences. But I also kind of lean that towards him.
Starting point is 01:04:37 People obviously know who I am, so it's kind of like preface that like, not that they're going to be nice to me, but they already know who I am. So it's like they already know of me. If they're going to be mean to him, they have to deal with me. They definitely don't want to do that. No, no. And also, I mean, we brought it up earlier in the podcast, but the book that you came out with, I don't know. Strong. Yeah, strong.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Yeah. No. How long ago was it? But what spurred you to make a book? And it's it's kind of like an autobiography book. Yeah. So it's a children's picture book,'s kind of like an autobiography book yeah so it's a children's picture book but it's also an autobiography um so i was actually i had broken the log press record
Starting point is 01:05:10 the american log press record in april of 2019 um and the story was getting some traction it was pretty cool and i was contacted by an author who had this idea to write a children's picture book and um it was never really a thought of mine, you know, but after looking up Eric Rosswood as the other author, and he had some books published already in the LGBTQ space, mainly about parenting. And I was like, okay, like he's a dad, you know, and already an author like this could be really cool. You know, I, in already an author, like this could be really cool.
Starting point is 01:05:50 So we got on the phone and we started talking and it really became just this amazing collaborative process. It took three years to get the book to come out. But, you know, I think when going through the story, a lot of it was like, first off, like we don't, part of the angle is like, we don't get to see like real life superheroes, especially as LGBTQ people. So for this book to be about somebody that is alive and still achieving these amazing things was a really cool angle. Another thing that came up early in our conversation, though, was we didn't want this story to be a coming out story. It's a part of my story, but we didn't want it to be the main focus, right?
Starting point is 01:06:23 So like when you read the book, like Joey coming into my life is very casually mentioned. It's not like the, it's not the pinnacle of the story. What the story really is about when you boil it down is like, once you accept yourself for who you are, you can achieve whatever you want in life. You don't have any more barriers holding you back. you want in life. You don't have any more barriers holding you back. And we really wanted this just all inclusive message that kind of spans sexuality and age, right? Like the amount of times I've heard like parents read this story, they're like, I've learned something about myself from reading this book. It's really, really cool to see. And the book's only been out for about a week and a
Starting point is 01:07:04 half at this. Well, two weeks tomorrow, actually. Oh, it's freshly. Oh, yeah. the book's only been out for about a week and a half well two weeks tomorrow actually oh it's freshly out oh yeah it came out on May 10th I think I saw like it hit the top of the charts you posted the top of the charts for children's so we're actually still the number one new best seller in children's biographies on Amazon
Starting point is 01:07:20 even after being released for like two weeks that's sick that's really fucking cool on Amazon. Even after being released for like two weeks. That's sick. That's really fucking cool. So yeah, the story really does go like through my life. It goes through It's like real events. Yeah, like we tried to make it as true as
Starting point is 01:07:35 possible. That's awesome. I see a lot of people spending a lot of time fantasizing about who they're not. I think it's especially with social media and seeing all the different, you know, people with the nice cars and nice bodies and this and that.
Starting point is 01:07:53 And I think it's easy to get kind of caught up in maybe being stuck on like old beliefs about what you can actually do or who you can actually become. You know, that it's stifling to people. And it can be difficult to get up off the couch when you're constantly fed. I mean it's called a feed. You're constantly feeding yourself other people's story
Starting point is 01:08:14 and then you might kind of feel inferior. You might think like, well, that story is not for me. How do I go – what about me? How do I go figure that out? I think it can be crippling for a lot of people. Yeah, and I think that's why for us, we've just – I think it's – even though we're talking about social media, how it could be negative, it's also such a positive. Cute. Because of – with us, we just share our love, right? It's about lifting and love on our pages. That's really about it.
Starting point is 01:08:44 And some advocacy stuff because obviously we have this amazing platform for positive change but like the amount of times we get messages um whether it's teenagers or adults saying that like because of us being able to share our story and just being unapologetic about it it makes them feel more comfortable in their skin makes them realize like oh like i could have a future like that too and i think that's like one of the most empowering things about you know what we do on social media yeah and you know it's really dope because it's like if somebody let's say that somebody doesn't like this for some reason or is oh i'm sure the comments are going to be unreal.
Starting point is 01:09:25 I think a really, a lot of people don't ask themselves first off, like why they believe what they believe. Um, because it's like when you think a certain thing, you may have thought it for a very long time, whether it's about yourself, like why do I think I'm this or why do I think I'm this way?
Starting point is 01:09:42 Or whether if it's about other people, it's just like, it's a belief and it's true. Yes. But when you sit down and ask yourself why you believe it and you really kind of try to work that out and articulate it, you'll probably find a lot of holes and a lot of things that just are not rational.
Starting point is 01:10:00 Or you don't have an answer. Or you don't have an answer. That's my thing too. It's like your belief is your belief but my existence is a reality so it's like you can believe that belief with no tangible like evidence but like me standing in front of you being who i am is like no that's a mic drop moment what you just said that was pretty fucking dumb bar yeah yeah yeah um but what i do find which is funny is in my position, like I'm comfortable enough where like I'll call people out about it, but kind of in a passive aggressive way. So like just this week at World's Strongest Man, I was watching the CrossFit game semifinals and I'm sitting down at a table watching it.
Starting point is 01:10:35 And somebody comes up there like, man, why are you watching CrossFit? That's gay. I was like, well, I am. You are watching CrossFit? He goes, oh, no, no like you know what i mean i was like no i don't what do you mean oh no and he couldn't answer he was like uh and it's kind of like walked away yeah right it's like when you challenge people in that way like i think it's a it's it's a fun moment for me because i'm like i got you bitch
Starting point is 01:10:59 let me explain to you what gay is so yeah like i, like I said, it's kind of like that just fuck you mentality where I'm just like, I really don't care what you think in this moment. Like what you said is wrong. I'm going to let you know about it. How do you talk to yourself, you know, with lifting these fucking giant implements that you're going to be lifting this weekend? You're really gifted. I like the overhead press, but there might be other movements where you're like, oh, fuck, here comes... How do you get out of your own head and have better self-talk, better confidence in yourself to get better at these movements? I think the biggest thing and the biggest transformation in the way I compete is my number one priority every time I
Starting point is 01:11:41 step on a competition floor is have fun, right? I lost that for a long time and I became a terrible strong man, a terrible husband, and I was putting too much pressure on myself to succeed. And because I was doing that, it was decreasing my performance. The only way to have fun would be to be prepared, right? Because you want to do well. So if you're prepared, the funning might kind of take care of itself a little bit. Yeah. And you know, a great example of this is at the Arnold from this past year. I had an awesome performance, was actually in the lead after the first three
Starting point is 01:12:13 events, even into day two. Kind of shit the bed on the frame carry, which like I knew was going to be a tough event for me going in. You're right. It's an 880 pound frame, no straps, upper ramp, in. You're right. It's an 880 pound frame, no straps up a ramp. And I have tiny chubby hands, you know, and I'm going against these monsters. And grip is just one of those things. Like you work on it as hard as you want and it gets a little bit better. Right. And that's frustrating as hell. So going into that event, like I trained it and I knew going into it, I was like, well, if I can pick it up it's a pr right and i moved it like 10 feet right rip my hand open and i was like ah that sucks that's gonna pull me off the out of first place and off the podium and everything and i was kind of in my
Starting point is 01:12:55 feelings about it because i had these goals set and stuff like that and right before the final event um you know we had this stone to shoulder-shoulder event. It was this natural stone, 419 pounds. And it was just a beast. And Joey came over to me, and he could see I was getting into that space again, where I was kind of stoic, not focusing on anything else, almost getting tunnel vision. And he comes up to me, gives me a kiss on the head. He's like, hey, just go out there and have fun. And it just kind of smacked me out of that. I'm like, shit, you're right.
Starting point is 01:13:28 Like I'm getting – I get to go on that floor and lift this thing in front of 6,000 people. Like how fucking cool is that? When you already had a great performance, so it's kind of like – Yeah. And you know what? I shit the bed. I didn't lift the stone. But I was like – I stood up after that.
Starting point is 01:13:44 I waved to the crowd. I was like, this is awesome. Right. And like, if I stay in that mentality, I'm able to just kind of like get through those events that I know I'm just not going to do as well on and just know that like, I'm still here for the right reason. Do you do better with your own self-talk going into the gym now, whereas before you had a lot of reservations about it? Yeah, it's a lot better now, but like even till this day, I still do. It's like, I kind of like, like lean towards him to kind of like, it's like when you, you can give yourself your own advice, but like hearing it from someone else, even more so
Starting point is 01:14:16 like not even from him, it's like other people at the gym and they're like, I'm his husband. So it doesn't like count because I'm like, you have to say that, but it's definitely better like than it was when I first started going at the gym. Yeah, like he's confident enough now. He used to be so in his head that when we would go to our gym, a gym we go to four to five times a week, I would have to walk in first. Because he just still had that anxiety, right? Like what a lot of people don't realize is like the gym for a gay man is terrifying because you know there's like and i'll say like i'd be more like a haven
Starting point is 01:14:55 depends on the gym oh sure i was picturing west hollywood yeah no sorry that vibe yeah but like walking into a strong man powerlifting gym as a gay man, right? Like it's going to set off some alarms. And I would say like as gay men, we probably stereotype like we shouldn't. But like we have this fear in our mind that it's like, well, if I need to like ask for a spot, is he going to think I'm hitting on him? Right? And we play those scenarios out. Depends on how you ask for a spot.
Starting point is 01:15:26 That's true. Just a little butt tap. Hey, you busy? I'd be like, whoa. Now I'm not. You know, but I think it's like we work up these scenarios in our head and it like just gives us that anxiety where like then we just like well you know i'm just not gonna go do it and for him to step into our home gym lightning fitness for the first time and like to see him enjoy it and like what he was doing like was a really really cool moment and that's you know it's just been a really great part of the journey you know when you were talking about those stereotypes i think that's a stereotype that some straight guys have that they shouldn't
Starting point is 01:16:06 about gay guys. Like one of the reasons why they may feel uncomfortable around gay guys is like, is he attracted to me? Like, yeah, chances are probably not. Nine times out of 10.
Starting point is 01:16:17 No, exactly. But like, that's, that's one thing that I think is like some weird barrier that some guys need to get through like not every guy that's gay thinks you're hot well it was funny i was having this conversation i forget with who but they like had that mentality i was like well when you look at like all these girls like do you
Starting point is 01:16:35 think they're hot and want to like have sex with me he's like i mean most of the time yeah i guess i'm not going to change your mind. Never mind. I'm also curious about this, Joey. You've gotten bigger because you're pretty jacked now, right? What kind of confidence has that brought you, if any? Oh, huge. Yeah. Even just being able to walk into anywhere.
Starting point is 01:17:00 More so, I would say it helps with my family. Because they're just so traditional. They see me as that smaller, skinny. I was a twink in high school like i was hoping you were gonna say like just hairless like super skinny like i was 100 like 40 pounds and like then i started working out they're like what the like you're just like bigger now so they i feel like they give me a little bit more respect or just they treat me differently now that i'm like bigger especially like i have like all girl cousins and we're like all around like a year or two and like all our boyfriends like we're around like they treat me differently now because i'm bigger than them now and i'm stronger so it's like not that they gave me shit but like they would poke at me a lot and
Starting point is 01:17:39 now they don't and more so because i poke back so they're like oh shit okay never mind i'm gonna lose this battle yeah yeah i think like oddly enough like you know i started lifting partially because i was injured but partially because i couldn't do anything else when i was 13 but there is a level of insecurity that getting bigger does help with i mean it's not something that a lot of people talk about but like putting on some muscle will give you some extra confidence in certain situations because physically you are you you feel like a more physically dominant human being at that point you know what i mean i'm not saying you need to get as big as possible but it can absolutely help with any individual's confidence it has with me it has with so many people i know so it's just like that's why we love it's one of the reasons why we love this shit.
Starting point is 01:18:25 Yeah. Keep doing it. Is there anything like dudes in the gym can be better at to be a little bit more inclusive? I think it's just getting rid of that thought, right? Like that like, oh, this guy is hitting on me or like – I think just any preconceived notion of what they feel a gay man is. Just like throw it out the window and treat us just like any other guy right like just somebody i think it's just that's just gym culture right like it's like you hope that everybody that's going to the gym is going there to better themselves and if you have that mentality about everybody in the space
Starting point is 01:19:00 around you their sexuality shouldn't have any bearing on how you treat them and i think that's um it's a you know a pie in the sky type wish to hope for that but it really is just like you know if joey was in a jam and he came over to you mark and was like hey like can i get a spot like it should just be like yeah okay great um but i think it's just like again like people just have those preconceived notions that make that conversation different yeah so uh i don't want to say a big part of our show but sometimes we play around on this show and we'll start talking about random things and then we'll talk about how like we'll sleep together uh we'll make out whatever you know we'll joke around yeah i know right that's actually a pretty good point there well no i mean i can literally play like any episode we're talking about something you know
Starting point is 01:19:51 kind of yeah we kind of get we go there no it's gay it's definitely good so we all have you know female significant others is it okay for us to joke around amongst ourselves and say literally like gay jokes and stuff but we are just playing around we are not gay is that okay i mean yeah i mean it's how you how would you use yeah we're not doing it maliciously or anything i just want to make because like like mark said we're fucking tone of the jokes like yeah so now we're not like like yeah that's gay no tone of the jokes like yeah so now we're not like like yeah that's gay no but it's like literally the things that we like if you say what is a super training gym strongest gym in the west gayest gym in the world i want to go there you're here
Starting point is 01:20:40 that's what i mean though like we just joke around like that like that's not offensive there's always a lot of gay undertones to like gym stuff right i mean spotting each other and teabagging each other on the bench press and spotting each other from behind and like joey's pissy didn't join the gym earlier it's like wait you can get teabagged at the gym they do that this is awesome do i tip tip somebody? Every Tuesday. Bench day. No, I don't think it's wrong, right? Because I'll even usually hop in on the joke.
Starting point is 01:21:13 That's the thing. Right? It's like if you join in, too. Yeah. So I think it's like there was a couple of guys going on a trip together, and they were saying they had to share a bed. They're like, oh, we're going to cuddle. So I'm like, oh, yeah?
Starting point is 01:21:23 Who's going to be the big spoon? So I'll jump in and then but the funny thing about that conversation it was like it actually divulged into like an actual conversation and one guy's like so there's like one like shorter stockier guy and like one's taller skinnier guy and the taller senior guy's like yeah well like i'll be the big spoon like i'm bigger he's like i'm taller he's like no but like i'm bigger so i can like wrap you up better like they had a legit conversation. I'm like, I covers more ground. Like help me move this desk.
Starting point is 01:21:49 Let's try it in this room. So like, I think like, especially if you're around gay people and like, you know, you can like sense their personalities, like obviously with us in this room, like, like again, we're probably going to jump in on the joke and you know so I think it all. Like, again, we're probably going to jump in on the joke. So I think it all depends on, again, like the context, the intention, and all that stuff. How are you going to beat these guys this weekend? There's some real monsters out there, right?
Starting point is 01:22:15 Dude. Oh, and on the note of the Arnold, if I remember correctly, you finished like fourth or fifth, right? Fifth place, yeah. Fifth place. And I remember you came over to the booth that we were at, and you were very happy and very content. Stoked. This is where I kind of thought I would land and I made a post about it kind of saying like how I thought that that was remarkable because you set out and did a lot
Starting point is 01:22:36 of the things that you wanted to do and the placing was just a byproduct of where you finished for the day. So I qualified for the Arnold for the first time in 2019. When I qualified for the Arnold for the first time in 2019. When I qualified for the Arnold for the 2020 year, it was my goal to take top five. I took sixth in 2020. 2021, we didn't have an Arnold Strongman Classic. So I was like, well, I need to get top five, right?
Starting point is 01:22:58 And like, that was my goal. And like, that's why I was so ecstatic with the Arnold because I was like, I fucking did it. Like, that's what I wanted, right? And so like, there are some people that are like, well, you didn like that's not good enough I'm like no like I'm I'm the shortest lightest competitor here and I just I took second place in the squat with a 961 squat um and like I just took fifth place at the heaviest strongman competition in the world like I'm fucking pumped about that you know even after the past two years though like coming back to like a heavy competition yeah the past two years of you know health-wise have been tough for me you know i ruptured my tricep in 2020 got
Starting point is 01:23:35 testicular cancer in 2021 um and then you know come back took sixth place at the rogue invitational right after testicular cancer then fifth at the arnold and now we're here at world's strongest man and this this year's world's strongest man is a it's a beast of a show like 30 athletes 20 of us could be in the top 10 um so in my group i'm in group three i have the 2020 world's strongest man aleski novikov i have the shaw classic championrey Mitchell. I have Adam Bishop, who is attempting the deadlift world record in a few months. And myself. Then there's Gregor Szymanski, who is making his first World's Strongest Man appearance since 2016, but he is a World's Strongest Man finalist. And then this guy Mika Toro from Finland, who is a giant. He's 6'9".
Starting point is 01:24:22 So that's my group. And you have to be top two to get to the finals right that being said like i feel fucking good you know i'm excited it's this is my first year back at world's strongest man since 2019 training went great um i did everything i could that's within my control to be able to perform as well as i need to the competition is just going to be able to perform as well as I need to. The competition is just going to be hard. Everybody I've talked to, it's like looking at my group, whoever wins is going to have a perfect competition. You can't make any mistakes if you want to win that group. So a little bit of pressure there for sure, but I'm excited. I think I'm up for it.
Starting point is 01:25:03 I'm just ready to have some fun and do some cool shit who is kind of favored to win is there a i would say like looking at it we have like the like 2021 world's strongest man is tom stoltman um and then i think martinez is probably he's my favorite um how big is martinez i've never seen him in person. So he's like 6'3", walks around about 340. Yeah. Okay. Plays a lot of video games, right? He does play a lot of video games. His grip strength's great.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Yeah, he's got those thumbs. But he won the Rogue Invitational. He won the Arnold Strongman Classic. So he's riding a high right now, coming into World's Strongest Man. He looks good. It'll be interesting to see you know i will say like the events are a little bit lighter this year than they historically have been so i think that's going to play into the hand of some of the lighter like more athletic
Starting point is 01:25:55 athletes over the bigger guys but it's um yeah i i think this is probably the hardest year anybody has had to try to decide who's going to be the top 10 finalists and who's going to be on the podium. And you always have to watch out for those veterans like Brian Shaw. He came in second, I think, last year. And he looks awesome. He has Joe Ken as his coach. Incredible. And he has really changed his philosophy as an athlete.
Starting point is 01:26:22 And I'm just happy to be a part of it. Yeah. He's already four-time world's strongest man, I believe, right? Yeah. Yeah. Four-time world's strongest man. I think he's won the Arnold three times. Like, it's unbelievable.
Starting point is 01:26:34 Yeah. We were just talking to the gym about, like, the safety of the strongman sport. But do you think that they lightened the loads to make it overall safer, even though you guys are doing more reps? I think they did it because of the heat this week. Oh. In all honesty. So it goes with that. Yeah, so it does go with safety, right?
Starting point is 01:26:52 But yeah, I think a lot of it plays with what we're dealing with this week. You know, it's going to be over 100 degrees for the first two days of competition. Oh, God. So I think that plays into it. But, you know, I think there's been a trend in strongman over the past few years where it's kind of like the Arnold is seen as like the static monster of strongman competitions. And Worlds tends to show better overall athleticism of a strong man. And I think that's amazing because even though the sport of the, the name of the sport is strong man, you have to be one hell of an athlete to do what we do.
Starting point is 01:27:31 Yeah. Right. Like, and that's what drew me to the sport in the first place. And, you know, like I did power lifting, loved it. But to be honest, like I got bored just training. It's boring. The three big, right? The three big lifts.
Starting point is 01:27:46 just training it's the three big right the three big lifts and i had been an athlete in high school and i was like i missed that feeling of of training like an athlete and that's what i love so much about strongman i think that's like why you love it so much after being a college athlete yeah you just become like well more rounded as an athlete yeah think about all the things that you guys do like even the nature of picking up up an Atlas stone or anything where there's pulling involved, like, like reaching and pulling. There's, there's a lot of components that you miss out on in things like bodybuilding and powerlifting that actually allow you to be an athlete. Like there's so many different things for you guys to do and have to be good at. Well, that's the thing. Like, so this is the 13th year I've done, I've done strong, man.
Starting point is 01:28:24 I did my first competition when i was 17 whoa i've never once done a competition that has the same events in it every single contest has been different that i've competed in like how cool is that you know like it's constantly like you're gonna have okay there's a log press right but it could be for max reps It could be for a one rep max. It could be a part of a press medley. So it's always varied, and you never know what you're going to do. And that's just part of the excitement of the sport because it's like after you finish a contest, you're like, oh, I can switch what I'm doing and train for something different even though it's the same sport. And more recently, you started working with Matt Frazier?
Starting point is 01:29:01 I did. I did. Yeah. So I'm a certified athletic trainer by school, but obviously strength has kind of been my life. And I met Matt originally actually through his fiance, Sammy. Her and I went to neighboring colleges. So we've known each other for years. And it was at the Arnold in 2020 2020 after we did this new event it was a stone event it was like you had to press the first two load the second two and then carry the husafelt stone had this like little iconic moment where i dove across the finish line with this stone to complete the course and we get back and we're walking back to the athlete area and sammy goes
Starting point is 01:29:40 rob i was like hey sammy like obviously i know who she was because i know who matt is and she's like you do this stuff i was like yeah I'm kind of good at it so that kind of like just like sparked this natural friendship with Matt in the group and stuff like that and then uh a few months before the Arnold this year Matt had reached out to me to um because he was working with an athlete mal o'brien who's unbelievable unreal she's just a freak of nature and 18 years old and and one of the favorites to be on the podium at the crossfit games this year and they're having some difficulties with her deadlift and really just trying to bring that up and focus on strength so he asked me some pointers
Starting point is 01:30:22 and we put her on pretty much just a powerlifting block for deadlift. And, uh, in 10 weeks, you know, brought her deadlift up pretty significantly, about like 60 to 80 pounds. So that's crazy.
Starting point is 01:30:32 Yeah. And this girl's like 18. We were just talking about 18. Yeah. So does Matt have a real fresh, he can say that, but she's jacked. Yeah. She looks great. Yeah. Real fresh. He can say that. But she's jacked.
Starting point is 01:30:48 Yeah, she looks great. Yeah. Matt Frazier, first of all, I think it's amazing that he reached out because a lot of coaches and he's a five-time CrossFit Games champ. Like, what does he need help with? He's pretty good at a lot of things. But that's probably why he's so great is he's reaching out to other folks. Does he have an app or something like that? Is that what you're helping with? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:31:06 So he has HWPO Training, which is his training platform. Hard work pays off. Hard work pays off. So they have four tracks right now that are mainly CrossFit-based. I'm being brought on as the head strength coach for the company. So we're actually going to be – I'm going to be releasing a program. I believe it's coming out July 1st, called H-O-B-P-O Strong. And that's really going to be made for those people that are, you know, have a really high level of fitness, but are lacking
Starting point is 01:31:34 strength. And they just want to focus on like maintaining their level of fitness while getting strong as hell. And, but it's also just going to be a general great strength program. So some people that want to follow it, you know, the app is $40 a month and to just get a really great strength programming with that has. So what we do, what we do different from most training apps is we obviously have like our exercise library where we show you how to perform the exercises, but there's also about a five to 10 minute intro video of every workout of what the intention of the workout is that day. What stimulus should we be focusing on? Really, what are we looking to get out of this session? And I think that's something, it makes it, while it's not a personalized program, it makes it feel a little bit more personal because now you know in your head, okay,
Starting point is 01:32:21 this is what I need to be hitting. This is why'm hitting it um and yeah it's honestly like it's a huge honor for matt to come to me and ask me to take on this role because i look at myself like yeah you know i've done some cool shit in the sport of strongman and i'm pretty strong but i look at matt as like you know fucking five times crossfit champion that's insane and uh you know to be to be looked at in that light as to be able to take over the strength piece of that program, it's pretty sick. Do you mess with any Metcons or anything like that? We do CrossFit three times a week. Wow.
Starting point is 01:32:54 Actually go to a CrossFit gym and do the daily class three times a week. So we're part of the 6 a.m. crew. Get up nice and early. But you just did Randy, right? So I almost broke two CrossFit world records accidentally. part of the 6 a.m crew uh get up nice and early but you just did randy right so i so i almost broke two crossfit world records accidentally okay so yeah what was the nature of that workout like so barbells that's it um so the first one was uh it's randy which is 75 pound barbell 75 snatches as fast as possible wow um so i did it in two minutes and 38 seconds and the world record,
Starting point is 01:33:27 I think it was like two 13 to 14. Um, the other one was grace, which is 135 pounds, clean and press clean and jerk for 30 reps. Um, I didn't know the world record going into the workout and I did it in a minute and seven seconds and then found it afterwards. The world records 59 seconds. And I'm like, shit, if I had and then found out afterwards the world record is 59 seconds. And I'm like, shit, if I had known that, I probably wouldn't have put it down after 20 and taken a breath. So, yeah. But honestly, like there's so many great parallels between like CrossFit and Strongman because you look at like a CrossFit gym, your typical workout is going to be between that 10 to 20-minute range. That's kind of the sweet spot for your CrossFit gyms. And like to be able to work in that conditioning space for that amount of time, you're going to
Starting point is 01:34:08 see great carry over to conditioning and strong man. Um, so that's really, and honestly, like I love CrossFit. That's, I got my start in strong man out of a CrossFit gym in 2009. Um, so I've always, there's always been something that draws me back and now to be a little bit more ingrained in the community, working with Matt and Hwpo and like for us to be able to like just go up to his house and hang out for the weekend and drain it's like the first time we went up there we're like we're laying in bed and i looked at him i was like we're at matt frazier's house right now and they're just like good people like it just wasn't even like not even faze like not even nervous they're just like here just grab whatever you want in the fridge.
Starting point is 01:34:45 Make this your home. I'm like, all right. Did Sammy cook for you? I see those meals she posted. Yeah, she's amazing. And she has things like stocked in the fridge. She's like, just grab overnight oats. She has things just like planned.
Starting point is 01:34:56 I'm like, wow. Like peanut butter and jelly overnight oats just like sitting there to eat whenever. It's like, all right, I'll take that. But yeah, they're just great people. And like I said, it's really an honor to be a part of that, that crew now. And, um, you know, we're looking to do a lot of really cool stuff. Like this will be our first year going to the CrossFit games. So I'm super excited about that. And you know, it's what I think what's also cool is like, they look at us like a package deal, right? Like it's, I had to go up there one weekend. Um, Joey had a bachelorette party to go to. As gays, we don't go to the bachelor parties.
Starting point is 01:35:26 We go to the bachelorette parties. So he was at a bachelorette party, and I go up there, and I walk in. Matt gives me this big hug, and he's like, oh, where's Joey? I was like, oh, he's at a bachelorette. So he was pissing himself off of that. And then Mal and Joey hit it off right away. And Mal goes, where's Joey? I was like, oh, he's at a bachelorette.
Starting point is 01:35:45 She goes, well, that's unacceptable. I know. I think when we were leaving the first time I met her, I was like, I'm the older gay brother that you never asked for. But you're getting. Yeah. So it's been really, really cool. And I'm super excited to be in this new role and working with them. excited to be you know to be in this new role and working with them yeah being in being in the sport of strongman for so long now what do you think the sport could improve on to potentially get bigger
Starting point is 01:36:10 because it you know there's a lot of different things in strongman but you don't see dedicated you don't see a lot of dedicated strongman gyms maybe there's a powerlifting gym that has some strongman equipment but you don't see any just strongman gyms so i think the biggest thing is like granted saying that we've we have seen a huge swing in the direction of you know more mainstream sport for strongman um you know like the amateur circuit here in the u.s has gotten a lot bigger which is great i think people are realizing that it's accessible to more than just the monsters of men and seeing that it is getting more attention at the lower weight classes right now. There's Clash on the Coast. There's some really great organizations that are working to promote the lower weight classes because up until recently, it's like, well, you're a heavyweight or you're nothing, right?
Starting point is 01:37:01 There was really no future for you as a lower weight class athlete, and now that's starting to change. So I think that's going to help grow the sport in a really positive direction. Um, you know, I think honestly, it's just, it's just going to be time. And I think another thing is like in America, there isn't that cultural appreciation for strength as there is in other countries, right? Like we go to the UK and I compete there. 10,000 seat arena sold out. It's wild. It's like the first time I had a contest, I was like this many people are watching.
Starting point is 01:37:34 I'm used to like the parking lot where there's like a couple of people on bleachers. We went, the first time I competed in the UK was at the O2 arena in Leeds, 12,000 seats sold out. And it's just, you walk out and it is a wall of people, as far as you can see. And here in the US, the Arnold was actually the most attended Strongman competition we've had in the US. And there was about 6,000 or 7,000 people there still,
Starting point is 01:37:58 which was amazing. And now, but we're at a point where the Arnold Strongman Classic is the biggest competition draw at the expo. We're definitely starting to see a shift. I think it is just time and people are starting to realize being strong is really fucking cool. Even to add to that, I think they need to tap in. Kind of like how CrossFit does, it's the basis of community. You need to get the beginners to go because no one's going to want to go to a gym and lift all this stuff when they have no idea what they're doing.
Starting point is 01:38:24 It's intimidating it's like you have to bring a sense of community and like build it from the ground up to kind of build it for like years to come yeah that's one really cool thing that crossfit is done though because they have these workouts that are just set and like when you think about how complex strongman can be with all the different equipments and all these different things you guys are working with if there's nothing set that somebody can just do, it's like, I'm gonna just go bodybuild. You need some assistance in like whatever type of strongman event you're
Starting point is 01:38:53 doing. It's like, there's so many that you're like, you're just learning new ones all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you guys so much for your time today. I know you're got,
Starting point is 01:38:59 you got a busy week ahead of you. I know. Wish you all the luck. This is more fun though. It is right. Yeah. Gets a dick around. Am I allowed to say. Wish you all the luck. This is more fun though. It is, right? Yeah. Gets a dick around. Am I allowed to say that one?
Starting point is 01:39:08 I think so. Definitely. And how appropriate. What a way to end the show. You know? Thank you guys again. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having us.
Starting point is 01:39:15 This was awesome. Where can people get the book, Strong? So you can find Strong, it's anywhere books are sold. So it's in Barnes & Noble and all that stuff or online at amazon.com. Andrew, take us on out of here.
Starting point is 01:39:24 All right. Thank you everybody for checking out today's episode sincerely appreciate it please drop us some comments down below make sure you guys like today's video subscribe if you guys are not subscribed already follow the podcast at mb power project on instagram tiktok twitter my instagram tiktok twitter is at i am andrew z and sema where you at don't forget to add to the discord i think we're almost at 1200 members so head there because we're answering a bunch of questions and doing fun shit there so and sema ending on instagram youtube at sema yin yang on tiktok and twitter joe joey joey yeah joey rob where can people find you guys so you can find me at jay craney 15 at instagram and then i am the world
Starting point is 01:39:59 strongest gay on instagram and youtube what if uh one of the guys that wins this year comes out as being gay, and then he's like, I'm the world's strongest. Yeah, what happens? No, it's a full-on battle. Battle. Yeah. Turns into a UFC match. I play dirty.
Starting point is 01:40:17 I'm not letting that shit go that easy. I love it. I'm at Mark Smelly Bell. Strength is never weakness. Weakness is never strength. Catch you guys later.

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