Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 301- Fat Sparta

Episode Date: June 18, 2020

Bad week for some. Great week for others. Our enemies are many, yes. But, our cadre of loyal dawgz continues to grow. Incorporation, and personal expansion. This is the way we move.  Some call this a podcast. Other's call it an immortality project. Perhaps it's both. Then again, perhaps it's neither.  Topics include: The Brueger Method, Justin Bieber's favorite comedian, Bae repellent, the propaganda show, and a bunch more stuff.  Watch video: https://youtu.be/b1F6Tu6j5E8 Support the D.A.W.G.Z @patreon.com/MSsecretpod

I could literally start immediately. A wee mowit. I could start immediately. A wee mowit. How do you like that, dude? A wee mowit. Wee on, baby. You notice my posture?

It's the Brugger method. It's the Brugger method. I went to the chiropractor last week. Told me I have to sit. Fucking Asian Sweet Boy DMed me. Sent me ways to fix my fucking shitty posture. Really? Unprompted.

Dude, it's...pted dude it's all right they hit thanks it's a big deal i have you know i have horrible i have the worst fucking i might start podcasting if you don't mind from a standing desk i'll be slightly out of frame but i think it'll be worth it for my posture dude i went you have a decent posture apparently it sucks the guy was like how do you sit now you know i sit like this yeah dude he was like because that's why i had like neck issues what kind of psycho would you be dude this is the bruger method i'm just every every time he's like it's no big deal whatever bruger of course a german sat like that shit it's such a german way of sitting yeah dude so you have to pull your sacrum in first as the sacrum is what everything's

resting on and then you pull your shoulders down during the military guys episode i sat like this i was like i saw you the whole time very straight face yeah sorry about the uh the military episode had to get taken down i literally i looked at you like six or seven times during that podcast and laughed which was funny because it was middle of him being like talking about a story of him like carrying his buddies out that just got shot and i was like the whole time i was like i just want my sacrum to be right for this oh is that what you were doing i was doing the bruger method you did it the whole time and it looked and i was catching my straight face yeah i'll catch myself and i would just be like in my zoom screen it's like yeah that was that was a good one but yeah sorry we had to take that down uh

government got a hold of us true government came down i don't think people believe it they're like no i'm like dude i'm telling you yeah dude they found that shit quick which you know i have questions now it's either how do they get behind a paywall right away and pick up names it's either scary time snitch there was no snitch you think it was just ai that was his if you say his name onto a platform yeah they have my bad for that. I mean, I'm not going to be on the air right now. It was good. If you listen to it, enjoy it. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That guy had a clearance. He wasn't. The government doesn't want him chatting. All right. We interviewed Q. All right. We interviewed Q. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We interviewed Q. And he disclosed zero state secrets to me. I don't have any. Nope. Government. I know't have any. Nope. Government. I know what they're up to, dude. What are they up to?

Government's got a couple of D'Leas in the Senate. Really? A couple of D'Leas popping around, making laws. Senator Kell, Senator D'Lea. Senator Kell's in D'Lea. R.I.P. Chris D'Lea. Yeah, man. That was a kelson lee r.i.p crystal yeah man that was uh r.i.p is he gonna keep doing his podcast he better he better he better he's fucked i mean i'm not like you know i'm not yeah he's fucked i i'd say pretty yeah that's a time

and see that's that's like fuck it i's exactly what happened. Yesterday, we recorded a full podcast, talked about race for about an hour. Two hours. Two hours straight. It was a lot. And now it'll just be me saying something and backpedaling on Chris D'Elia. Well, kids are hot these days. I mean, I'm not like defending him. It's going to be that for an hour and a half.

No, no, no. But here's what was scary yeah he got called a pedophile sure and everybody was so happy to call him that on twitter it's pretty fun there's literally it is pretty satisfying to call i heard the news when i heard the news i was like oh nice immediately got on twitter and i was like fuck it sucks for him huh but uh you know there's no there's no way of controlling it there's no way of being like hey everybody on twitter we got to wait until someone's proven guilty yeah before he's number one treading trending in america as

pedophile that's a rough one oh dude i didn't think i don't know i didn't think it got worse than ours apparently it gets worse apparently yeah i Apparently. It gets worse. Apparently. Yeah. I mean, they hit the Lou Dog with just like masturbator. Yeah. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aggressive. They hit him with aggressive masturbator. Well, that was after the initial.

He gets hit with rapist a lot. Does he? Lou Dog. Really? Yeah. King Louie? King Louie gets hit with. King Louie gets it.

They bring that to his table. Of like. He just says, no. No. Get this out of here. No. But the Leah man got. I i read it it's damning the only the only problem is well again it was like the aziz and sorry situation where girls like hung out with the famous guy and he just wanted to fuck me it's annoying yeah that was a couple of them

were like all right shut up keep fucking moving lady and here's here's the fucked up thing is i was it's like a bunch of it's like man why do they all come out at once well they finally feel brave enough it's like or do they see other girls getting a lot of likes dude that's a valid question valid question anything's on the table anymore i'm not doing this forward one step back we're living in the country right now where the media is blatantly lying to the population so anything's on the table dude but yeah the problem is too when you see the thing that made me laugh is when a lot of them are like i was like a beginning comedian i thought he was going to advise me and really he just wanted to fuck me which is super annoying it's like of course you want to but you you done you did two open mics

and you think this guy now like that's your mentor a famous guy dms you're like oh perfect this is how this works yeah i do stand up well they saw funny people just do one mic and then adam sandler makes me famous yeah uh yeah it's so a couple of them are like oh man that's that's just a pile on and then but then you see the one or two that's like he's dm'ing like 16 year olds like you see you see the indefensible yeah the indefensible ones are just like how old are you again well i just think you're – don't tell – you can't tell young chicks they're cute, man. It's like – it's weird. As hard as it is. Or lament the fact – you can't lament a chick's age via text.

It's like – And then I'm sitting there. I'm like, damn, dude. I better not get fucking popped on any of these. Like what? Because they immediately put up a clip of him being like, 14-year-olds are not – Oh, dude. 14 anymore.

They're 35 35 they're hot i saw that yeah if i get if i get hit on anything there's gonna be clips of me being like i'd fuck lewis's son i immediately thought about that i'm like dude they would be it would be like four it would be people would be like shut it off enough all right there's more like shut it off god damn it yeah so uh yeah if you had to go to like a c-span thing like i i did say kids were hot i did say kids your honor i was kidding i was talking about the gymnastic show and i did say those kids were hot they were hot kids hopping around like for the record do you think those kids were hot mr gillis be like i for the record sworn testimony damn yes your honor did they ever do that

yes your honor you had to do like a newspaper running out of the courtroom yeah well it was funny too because there was like the some of the girl one of the girls too uh this is actually kind of funny kind of ties into other stuff one of the girls who came, I think her name's or Twitter name's Goblin. She was like, I'm like reading her thing. I'm like, man, that's really shitty. And then it's, she's like, her link is just like my webcam, my only fans profile. So I'm like, all right.

So I'm like webcam models. Now my brain, my, my wheels are spinning, dude. I'm going like, all right. He totally might've hit you up. But it's like, like right now I've seen this thing where people are like, people have been complaining about cops. Right. They're like people like they don't understand cops are dangerous job. And people are like, yeah.

Have you ever met a sex worker? And it's like, what? There's no comparison there. Like you've ever gotten butt fucked in the back of a Subaru and illegally parked car. It's like,'s like i guess man yeah it doesn't make you a hero it's like i saw people people been trying to be like you think cops got it rough imagine being a sex worker it's like that's a weird compare like imagine being a coyote and sneaking people over the country all right imagine that it's like well

yeah you're not allowed to do that it's illegal god damn delia though what the fuck yeah man i mean where i was going really is like yeah i was wondering i see i started seeing only fans and it's like you know that's this is like as many people i can get to look at me i literally get paid basically what we do but yeah you know i don't know man it's like probably happened but it's like if it was only only fan accounts being like oh and he got me too there has to be a part of that that people are going like fuck it was only only fan accounts being like oh and he got me too there has to be a part of that that people are going like fuck it let me throw my hat in this ring yeah has to be i think so too but i agree i agree that's what i was saying like people are like oh wait you can get a thousand likes by being like chris leah dm'd me yeah and how hard is it dude

so so a lot of them are like all right get the fuck out of here but there's some rough ones there's enough there's some rough ones in there and the thing that sucks for him is like damn what really so like louis these are different these are obviously very different but louis louis so good that he can just put out a special and it's like fuck yeah yeah and louis like dark and like fucked up as a person delia's whole thing is like i'm a a cool guy. I know. I'm a hot guy. Like now he's got to be animated during a controversy. Doesn't he call his fans babies too?

Yeah, he's gonna, dude, you're gonna make some changes. Look, look. I was listening to these D'Elia things and I was like, oh shit, dude, baby girls? Dude, I'm done. No more joshing.

No more joshing about the babies. Yeah, any woman that comes to our show anymore has to wear a head covering. Yes, it is. We're going back to the church. Skirt down to the things. If you show ankles, you are a slut. Don't be sending some slutty stuff to my... I mean, I got to worry.

All these fucking fat dudes I talk to on Instagram, are they underage? I know. Are all these fat guys with beards who inbox me underage? I'm worried now, dude. I'm next i'm next dude yeah yeah that's what you took out of this man a guy is a predator and you you selfishly sit there and say what about me yeah i'm worried now i'm gonna start asking when dudes are like yo i have a everyone sends me stuff like yo i have a six month old i'm like first of all how old are you before we get so i'm 43 like okay yeah i'll talk next year the one o'connor was chatting about was this girl that was like yeah he invited me to his hotel and i knew he wanted to fuck and so i said i'd rather

come down to the bar and he said come into my room and he was like no and just stop texting she like reported him that's fair enough it's like dude that's what i'm saying you started it was a dickhead it was a dickhead move but that's not a crime that and that's the az that's the thing so you have like the az's world it's the az's effect where it's like i went on a date i thought this person i you know watched enough disney movies where i'm like oh finally prince charming and then you know little you know princes typically want to like eat your pussy and finger your butthole upon meeting you that's what being a prince is about so that's what should have happened to sleeping beauty just a fucking brock turner coming out of the woods like oh yeah and it's and here's the other side of that though

is it's twitter so they're allowed it's a free they're allowed to just be like here's the other side of that, though, is it's Twitter. So they're allowed. It's a free. They're allowed to just be like, here's a shitty experience I have with this guy. True. And it's just a fucked up thing that fucking social media is allowing. You know, it's created this thing where it's like, oh, we're piling on somebody today. Yeah. Here's a thing he did I hated. Yeah. Might as well put this out.

Well, I'm trying to roll up the pedophiles, dude. So when I'm rolling them up, I mean, obviously, you know, Trump's been rolling them up. Trump rolled them up. Trump rolled up D'Elia, basically. Trump should put that on his next speech. He'd be like, and the pervert, Chris D'Elia, absolute disgusting pervert. Yeah, it's also funny, too, that girls are like, and then I thought we'd do something. And you just try to rush me into sex.

And it's like, are you describing you guys want an old-fashioned gentleman? Yeah. These hardcore feminists are like, chivalry is dead, basically. Basically, they're like, this is so ridiculous. I just fuck. I'm a free spirit. When a guy's like, let's fuck, they're just like, you have no respect for me. You got to hold the door for me.

What the fuck is this? Yeah, dude. It's fucking, it's nonsense. Interesting times. Nonsense. Yeah, man. And then. All I can do is bruger out dude chiropractors have this sick they're like they have like a phd in stoner knowledge the whole like the guy was like cracking my back and he's like yeah when you when you pinch your

when your back's like like this you're basically letting your neck bow out and it's putting pressure here and he's like dude also dude you know if you unraveled all your DNA would go to Pluto. That's pretty sick. Thanks, bro. He's like, yeah, dude, you got like two billion organisms right in your belly button. It's no big deal. Anyway, here, flip your leg over. And I'm like, thanks, bro.

They sent me home with a packet of basically like you are like a universal entity. It's fucking awesome. I'm going back Friday. I think this is a unique chiropractor. Oh, dude all they're all like this they're all i've been to a couple dude dingbats no no dude they're just on some next level shit he dude i was like laying there with my eyes closed and he was just like check this out dude he's like close your eyes tell me where your toes are pointing and i'm like yeah i can basically tell you he's like yes your kinesthetic sense dude your body knows where it is at all times like dude this is awesome nice yeah i'm like i think i'm gonna keep going like once every

month chiropractor is the only doc i don't have health insurance anymore i'm back off health insurance how much does it cost well it's 80 bucks for the initial visit and after that just 40 bucks a pop oh you're back aligned bro it's unbelievable someone someone was trying to no dude that's the thing it's like so they first of all you got to crack the uh sacrum first because that's what everything's resting on so he goes fold your leg over and just goes boom and it's just like cracks does it back and then he's like all right relax takes your neck and just goes boom and pops your neck real quick and just my neck pain all went away my arm was tingling for like two months oh yeah gone told me about gone we back friday that's why i might go to this guy in fact you know what's gonna be funny i'm gonna go to him and have some snapple facts lined up myself and hit him with some it

was a wild shit i'm gonna hit him with some facts and he's gonna be like yeah man right on like all right man this guy's all right yeah the shit he sent me home with is so fucking funny man basically telling you like dude you are you know like your body's intuition is like full it's like the best expert you know in chemistry physics i was like dude you're absolutely right bro fuck yeah you got my 40 bucks for a lifetime dude yeah maybe i should do that instead of a therapist chiropractor yeah just have them tell you dude it's infinitely. Hit me with cool fats.

Yeah, exactly. Line me up a little. That's all you need to do. I'll just start spilling my guts to that guy. You honestly probably could. He'll probably do the same thing as a therapist. He'll be like, why would you say that? You know what I mean?

Yeah, me and my dad, you know, he never really says sorry. He's like, what are you bringing that up? I feel like I'm storing this thing with my dad up in my back shoulders if you crack that i don't know why i'm bringing that up you hear about this delete yeah man i mean i don't think there's any coming back from that like you said that well it's funny too because when you watch this even if even if it came out that he did nothing wrong he's fried from this like if you're labeled a fucking pederast dude yeah groomer dude also drake got a groomer thing he well he musicians and athletes are exempt from grooming from that type of uh criticism you know it's allegation i'll say it's a little

dalia doesn't have one thing as good as you, God's plan or step in the name of love. Yeah. If he had a hit like that, he might survive. Like, Louis survives. True. Louis, everybody. Like, you can, people immediately are like, nah. Yeah, like that.

That fucking rules. That R. Kelly. Nah. But the charge is different, though, dude. Of course. As soon as you hit it with, like, grooming and, like, you see the screenshot. And, again, they were, I was looking at it. It's like, saved his full name in the phone.

There's 2011. they were i was looking at it it's like saved his full name in the phone there's 2011 so it's like the only other alternative is like people some conspiracy like photoshopped all these messages and we're like what you could do but it's like you see the messaging and like you see how he's typing you're like that's definitely to me i was it's like hey yeah and it sucks too because he's let's just be naked yeah he's got enough people that just hate him does he got enough people that yeah immediately people are like yeah he sucked yeah i think he sucked it's like did you why don't you say it two years ago well you know it's just pedophilic allegations will definitely be like yeah you know what people people are

happy that it happened for sure yeah that's like There's people that are like, this is fucked up. This is sad for the girl or whatever. There's people that are just so happy that this is happening. They'll get jokes in. They're like, what, someone tried to tell me the pedophile Chris DeLillo is a comedian? I didn't believe it. Which rules? Yeah.

I cannot knock it too hard because when the Penn State thing happened with Joppa, I was like, this is the best. What is? I hated Penn State so much that when they raped a bunch of kids, I was like, I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. I'm glad it happened. You know, some kids, you know, they made the sacrifice I needed for Penn State to be brought to justice.

Yeah. Well, the thing, again, like i'll go back to the aziz thing it's like that was just a story came to the desk like what's the story it's like he uh he got head like three times on a date first date like yeah yeah like finger the girl's mouth so the editor couldn't have been like fuck it get this shit the fuck out of here you gotta be like all right fuck it run it yeah i noticed newsweek ran an article about the delia thing like five hours into the twitter accusations okay that's when it gets weird yeah yeah yeah because all these publications race to be the first ones to put shit out none of them do research yeah like we saw with our thing bro like immediately it was just misquote like all of them i. I was, uh, I was, they alleged that I, uh, wrongfully alleged that I owned a taco truck, which I never did. Yeah.

Yeah. There was like five facts you should know. Four of them were wildly, they were totally wrong. Yeah. I was like, okay, good job guys. Good work. And these were publications that were like, now we're all for joking, but he wasn't kidding. Oh yeah.

It's like, well, you're going to report that. Wait, what? We look, we love to laugh, but he wasn't kidding. Oh, yeah. It's like, are you going to report that? Wait, what? Look, we love to laugh, but I can tell you right now, that guy had nothing but hate in his soul. Yeah. Here at Vox, we love a good, you know, we love a good yuck as much as anyone. But this guy, we know you hated him. We know. Right?

Anyway, Taliyah is like, I don't know. And then people started sending me shit of him talking shit on me, which I don't think he really did. What was he like? This sucks. He was like, this is hack. Yeah. Because he read the articles.

He saw the clip. He was just like, oh, they're just saying bad words. Felt the pressure. Yeah. And then it's also funny. And they did it with Ari. I'm excited to watch the la comics just immediately turn on their friend you think they'll turn on them oh

yeah you'll see some yeah some brutus they're all they're all true they're the senate dude true there's gonna be some knives in the back as soon as you turn around yeah they did it when ari did the kobe bryan thing like, well, fuck that. I had a. Yeah. I had a. It's yourself. It's your friend.

Yeah. No, that's true. I had a. I had to sit there. Text him. Be like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. Like, bro.

Don't go in your pockets. Also. Be like, I distanced myself from him. Also, you. You. I mean, look, I'm not going to be. I hesitate to say this, but usually you kind of know what's going on in your friend's snizz life.

Typically isn't a secret, bro. You got a good one out of LeMaire. It's good to have producer LeMaire in here. It's good to have some soul in here. If you make a good enough point, the producer will go, mmm. That's all I want, dude. Just the burger method, dude. it helps me think what this is his life of him i bet he kept to the look i bet they knew he was banging like young chicks but you're

gonna keep that 16 year old text to yourself true true yo i fucking text i'm grooming i'm grooming these pictures i'm waiting on it yeah i mean that's that's one of those things too it's like waiting i heard a story one time about someone in another country where like fuck who was this this is someone i knew that's how their mom and dad met the dad the mom was in school she's like 15 the dad was like he paid a teacher money he was like keep an eye on her and keep her away from everyone i'm gonna make her my wife after she graduates yeah you used to be able to do that yeah and it used to be like common yeah and then he was like all right you're out of school come move in with me i paid your teacher to keep you away from the boys and now you're mine i was like that's kind of sweet in some weird international way that's what happened in uh the movie parasite oh yeah yeah

i got one hell yeah i got one out there that happened in parasite but yeah man there weren't too many of those yesterday now that i'm thinking about it during our one hour race talk not a lot of uh-huh yeah so you know it's not great it was just yeah a couple like off the mic oh my bad it's all good i can't touch these it's all good you touch them dude totally everything in here is totally sturdy enough to code uh yeah man it's it's one of those it's like the the apparatus this thing's being pushed through i despise but then it's like you know if i'm if i was sitting there you know like the standard thing like well that was my daughter and i catch my daughter i'm like who you talking to and she's like some comedian i read that i'm like i'm gonna kill this motherfucker

so you know is what it is true that should be the thing all the dads of those and powerful moms of that of those girls kick-ass moms yeah should be able to go over there and just fucking give she's got only fans there's it's just a kick-ass mom yeah well that's you're just talking you're talking goblin dude the goblin, dude. The goblin. The goblin. We probably shouldn't name her Twitter. But she's an OnlyFan.

We're only just people more. Dude, we're sending a legion of jerkers, dude. Yeah, we're sending a legion of jerkers that are also going to be like, fuck it. Fuck it. That was fucked up. They'll be like, that was fucked up what you did to fucking. No, our fans aren't. No, aren't. They hate pedophiles. We roll up the ped.

True. But they would probably. I mean, how nice would it be to jerk to a lady who rolled up a pedophile? And it was funny because people went at Goblin and they were like, well, she was like, I was 16. This guy was trying to get me to like come to like fly me out. It was something like that. I don't want to slander, but it was something. It was a bad thing. Like he pursuing me and uh he was courting me

basically yeah he was courting old school courtship dude he's courting so he was courting her on some sort of electronic device and uh and they were the one guy's like well if you knew it was wrong why don't you shut it off and she was like because i was 16 like a famous guy wanted to hang out with me obviously i was excited it was like fair point gobb fair point gobb point goblin what's a fucking goon to a goblin dude yeah so i was like goblin stood her ground link the only fans that's not bad good for gobs r.i.p delete uh that's i mean that's all it is dude it's just like here today gone tomorrow it's just like that uncle charles yeah i'm I'm going to miss him, bro. I'm going to miss Uncle Charles.

That's what – Delia was just hanging out and that fucking angel touched him. That was the goblin's hand. I mean, you see it, dude. It just fucking spreads so quick. It spreads so fast. Dude, as soon as there's blood in the water – It's Trump. If there's a green light on your head and you're allowed to get shit on, people just come out of the woodworks.

They're like, yeah, you bumped me at this mic. He's a fucking sack of shit asshole. A thousand likes. Twenty retweets. Everybody hated him. You see? It's like, all right. Yeah.

All right. Yeah, I'm telling you, man. It's like we're definitely like the people who first had had fire, who would light it like, oh, it's like we have this amazing technology. We're just like, oh, we're not ready for what? Like the tool we have at our disposal. Yeah. And yeah. And the group, the mob mentality thing of just piling the fuck on people.

Yeah. Wow. At least let it breathe, man. Figure it out. But again, though, it's Twitter. You're allowed to talk. You're allowed to say whatever you want. Yeah, man.

This is a tricky one. I mean, I guess it's not that tricky. I mean, it's pretty simple, bro. I think it was DM in 16 years. Yeah, it's pretty simple. Again, the thing's cut and dry. It's just the process that's been set up is just like, you know, I mean, again, it's like it only this, all this stuff, it promotes trad values.

The only way away from this is just to be like a conservative traditional for a dude. Because the year was saying before, as like a girl, it's like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. You want to fuck? Oh, hell yeah. Fucking let's smoke weed and fuck right now. And like, you know, that's like 10 shows right now on TV. Yeah. But as a dude, if you want to fuck. Yeah, you want to fuck? Oh, hell yeah. Fucking let's smoke weed and fuck right now. And like, you know, that's like 10 shows right now on TV.

Yeah. But as a dude, if you want to fuck, girls are like, how fucking dare you? I looked up to you. And you have power? And it's like, what?

Yeah, Delia's power was used. That's, yeah. We've said it before. That's the, you know, whatever. That's the crux. Wait, what were you going to go for? Famous dudes. That's the point of being

guys get famous and they're like i can't wait to get pussy whenever i want yeah then they get famous and you're like do you want to fuck me and like nine out of ten chicks it's like absolutely yeah and then one happens to be a fucking blogger and it's just like fuck you dude or again but then this his case is different because he was being a fucking pederast yeah i'm just talking i'm talking about i'm separating the process from the peder ass dude it's like yeah that's the process of just being like you're famous you're a famous dude like az i'm talking about the aziz effect i got it you're aziz you're good you're i'm just you're clear right now you're flying clear i'm fucking flying clear that's the other thing too the other thing too if you want to be in this motherfucking game

it's a dangerous game there's only one way a dangerous game. There's only one way out. It's dead or canceled, dude. That's it. That's it. That's how this ends. That's it, bro. But as a man of this earth, I'm fully ready to go sit and rip tickets in the concrete pit. So it's like I don't give a fuck. Yeah.

But at the same time, I'm not reckless. You know what I'm saying? It's about the truth. It can't be – it's just about Veritas, bro. I might get Veritas tattooed on my fucking chest. Thanks, man. No, that was a bad one. You can't just give them out, dude.

That was fair. It might have been like a – Veritas. Like a – True. Might have been a rotten tomato. What a – But yeah, man.

I don't know. There's no – I got nothing else. Well, the whole – it's just – again, it's the – don't know there's no i got nothing else well the whole it's just again it's the it's like there's aziz who was a horn dog wanted some puss yeah i don't think it was that much of a horn dog he just thought he was getting head and again the girlfriend obviously she ditched her boyfriend she was dating on the date no one wants to talk about that but she was like i was on a date and i met this other guy and i just stood the guy up and hung out with him all night and the guy that i stood this is aziz we're talking about stood up her boyfriend tried to hang with aziz and you know he was like you know fuck you i guess

and she was like well i kind of want it more and he's like no i don't then she was like fuck him and wrote it and like dragged that dude through the fucking mud that aziz thing was total bullshit and everyone knows the aziz thing was bullshit like everyone and it's still like if you bring up disease people like yeah man that's what i'm saying it's like a weird tattoo yeah and then to scarlet letter dalia he was hunting endangered species that's his crime yeah yeah he was poaching bro he was going for ivory he was getting he was getting some cecils he's getting sees the line down there he was poaching bro dentist true he was he was poaching but yeah dude the uh that shit that was something i didn't expect to wake

up to this morning it's not you never know who's fucking next man it's been like the new cycle has just been like deadly disease race wars chrysalia chrysalia rapist it's just like in the annals of time. It was just like, that's the new cycle right now. Yeah. Cause they're still trying to pump up COVID now. They're like, guys,

come on, man, get back to COVID. I see less and less mass. I, every day I see it. That's a weird thing too. Now I'll walk my dogs and I'll see somebody.

It's like, I'll be like, Hey, good morning. And then I just, it's just glasses and a mask. Just like, I'm like,

I don't know. I can't tell what facial expression you're making. I don't know if you hate me or it's, it's the glasses and a mask just like i'm like i don't know i can't tell what facial expression you're making i don't know if you hate me or it's it's the social anxiety anymore is at like like the most critical levels of like you go and see people and it's like do you interpret me as like a biological agent of destruction like do you think i'm bringing you like pestilence right now yeah and then it's like if you happen to be another race than me like do you think i'm bringing you like pestilence right now yeah and then it's like if you happen to be another race than me like do you think i'm like an oppressor am i like a uh well matt a dirty oppressor my disease carrying that's how that's what goes through my head welcome to being black matt excuse me sorry it's uncomfortable you for a couple days uh-huh can i get one on that

i was pantering for a yeah i hate that argument that is a bad argument it's like yeah you think things are bad I was paying her for it. Yeah, I hate that argument. That is a bad argument. It's like, yeah, you think things are bad for me? I want them bad for you. It's like, what the fuck? Why don't we just fix yours?

Well, that was, Brittany hit me with that. I was like, Brittany, I just don't want to be on lockdown. Like, this shit fucking bothers me. She's like, yeah, you don't like it, huh? And I'm like, what the fuck is it? What does this have to do with it? She was just fucking with me. But I was like, what the fuck? That's not my.

We're getting into it. Not fun being on lockdown. Oh, dude. I have the only thoughts I have. I outsource this whole argument to just Glenn Lowry, Sam Harris. They break it down. Sam Harris is my favorite one. I just listened to this dude.

Yeah. You were talking about the ASMR. Oh, the ASMR. It's basically an ASMR dude going the most roundabout way to be like, you know, sometimes black people suck too. He worked so hard to word it as safely as possible. And the message was like, also, I believe black people might suck also. Have you thought of that? Well, the best is when he, if you listen to the whole thing, he'll be like on the, I think it's called like, can we please move away from the brink or something?

Yeah. thing he'll be like on the i think it's called like can we please move away from the brink or something yeah i'll be like i'm about to say some things that are probably going to get you physiologically aroused and you're just trying to be mindful of what i'm saying it's like dude nobody everyone's like what the no first of all nobody's going to listen to that who disagrees with it you're like what the fuck this is fucking bullshit dude he builds an argument that's just like the fact that it's the fact that his and others and these aren't just like fucking random dudes these are like intellectuals social scientists who are like no we have the statistics and the news for some reason is just like we're cool yeah and dude the washington post has they're going off statistics from the washington post who you'd think would like not

want the you know present like a non-damning picture or whatever or a damning picture doesn't bezos own them? Yeah, obviously. I wonder if he wants, you know, shit drone delivered to everybody's house and have everybody locked down. I mean, he bought Whole Foods, dude. Whole Foods now is like a hamster maze. Wait, he owns Whole Foods too? Yeah, dude. Bezos owns Whole Foods.

We got to, never mind. What? Can't even say it. The government's on our dicks now. True. What are you going to do? I was going to say we should probably kill him. Bezos?

Yeah, can we get some hot 16-year- dicks now. True. What are you on? I was going to say we should probably kill him. Bezos? Yeah. Can we get some hot 16-year-olds to, you know. Honeypot Bezos? Honeypot Bezos a little bit. He cheated on his wife. Did he? Cheated on his wife, got busted, and they split up all the money. Scumbag.

Don Lemon sexually assaulted a guy. Bezos, philanderer. I forgot to include that. That was in last week, so I want to make sure that gets out. Oh, for sure. Don Lemon, sexual predator, Bezos, philanderer. Philanderer. Retard philanderer. Oh, for sure. Don Lemon, sexual predator, Bezos, Flandre. Flandre. Retard Flandre.

Yeah. But yeah. Sam Harris. It was just making me laugh because obviously I think Sam Harris is very, very smart. And I'm sure I'm only like 20 minutes in. But it's just funny to set up all the fucking like defenses. It's really. Set up like the police are bad, doing bad things.

Like you got to just put up all these defenses just to try to get a point out. Yeah. And his point is like, maybe their culture. It's just he finally uses all these big words. If you get to the whole thing. Well, if you get to the whole thing, it's there's 10 million. There's 10 million arrests a year. Yeah.

And a thousand people get killed from the police. Out of the thousand people get killed from the police. You know, a good chunk of them are armed white and black it's 25 percent black like out of the thousand murders 25 percent of them are black 50 percent are white 25 percent or other and the years that violent crime was higher police murders are higher now violent crimes actually gone down murders have gone down police murders have gone down thanks trump it's at a low exactly thanks for all thank you basically all the pedophiles are causing police murder so trump stopped all the pedophiles but that that was the that was the whole thing it's like with

violent crime comes violent encounters with police comes incidental police deaths and it's like it's not an argument for being like we'll just get over the ones that have like we're totally unjustified but it's like for the media to be like this needs to stop and it's like yeah it obviously needs to stop right now but it's like and that was the other thing it's like you the media to be like, this needs to stop. And it's like, yeah, it obviously needs to stop right now. But it's like, and that was the other thing. It's like, you don't hear about all these other people who get murdered by the police for a reason, because they're building a narrative and they want to divide people. That's all.

But to say that you have to, that's why Sam Harris has to be like, I think slavery was bad. I'm just saying that. And here's some statistics that everyone should know. And it's just like, you might hate this, but that's what it is. The news, where you live in a country where you flick a channel and you were being propagated like now i'm up mostly i never trusted the news but now i can be like i'm pretty convinced unless people slide me another dos that it's it's propaganda it's literal propaganda

to serve political interests or which are really corporate interests that's the news it's that is what it is and if you believe the news you failed dude it's an intelligence test I believe it you failed I've been sorry trying to break Phil from the Fox you can't man I've been trying to break the boy they can't they hit their heads can't take it because we kind of grew up with the internet where we were able to like watch all this stuff it's the same thing every time where it's just like well what do you think CNN is I'm like like, yeah. Yes, exactly. You're watching CNN by watching Fox. Dude, explain.

Just stop. Explain to people that they're the inverse of the thing they don't like. It's like it doesn't. For some, it just blocks out. It cannot go through. It's like, yeah, that's one version of it. You're the opposite, like a negative image. You're that.

But literally like being in New York and then being home and shit and like sitting at a table with people like at dinner, like, hey yeah you can't even talk to these people it's there i'm like dude you know they're having the same conversation in their house right now yeah the people in new york like these fucking idiots down there they have no idea and people mechanics were like fucking idiots have no idea it's the same fucking thing it's crazy yeah man but that's that's like so i watched that i'm like all right we're being propagandized this is and it my question is now like what are they fucking trying what are they trying to do because it's like historically you see and i've talked about this yesterday it's like there's been things that have been introduced like the when bush wanted to get elected there

was like i'm tough on crime yeah the news is just like black guys getting jammed against cars constantly and like fucking like neon green t-shirts just being up against cars. But there was that one. Who was that one guy who like he got off? I forget. It was somebody that Dukakis let out. Yeah. Bush.

One guy. Ran an article or a total ad on TV, a national ad that was like Dukakis let this black dude out and he fucking raped and murdered right away. It's like I wouldn't do that. Is that what the fuck you think? It's funny too because by that logic bush is like i wouldn't let any of them out bush for president they're in there but yeah so they they did that with bush that we got all like the you know heavy drug things of like now you go away for 25 years no i think it was oliver stone he did a documentary or a movie on George W. Bush.

But it showed the part where his dad was in office. Yeah, because he was... No. He was the head of the CIA. Then he went to the... He must have just been running for... Wait, did he have two terms? No, he lost the second term to Clinton.

I think so. I don't know, honestly. I know he had won. Oh, wait. He was the vice president when he won. He won a war. Right? I know he was in the CIA and I know he was before Clinton. That's all I know. My history facts are pretty bad. Jamie?

What? I think he was vice president when he ran. Possibly. Or president. Possibly. Oh, I got what you're saying. Was he Reagan's? In... Yeah, he was Reagan's vice president in 88. So in 92. Yeah, he slid right out of the crack epidemic and went into 92. That's when the chronic dropped. And then 94 was Clinton to 2000.

Or to 2000, 92. It must have been 92. Yeah, 90s. When he lost to Clinton. And then Clinton took over. And then w got in there in 2000 and then 9-11 happened yep now we got obama coming yep and then trump dog comes to save everyone basically and now we're saved now we're good now we're good nobody's causing a hissy fit because they lost the election. The media is treating this president, you know, the same way they would anybody.

Well, dude. Yeah, exactly. But he is, you know, he is a fucking retarded guy. That's a tough one. That's a catch 22. It's like there's a retarded guy in office. Do you criticize him nonstop every single day and blame everything on him? Well, who do you want a retarded

guy or like in like a elite network of like people like just out to dominate the world what were we on oh so yeah no but in the movie there's a part where they run that ad they show it to bush and he's like his campaign advisor's like we got to run this and he's like torn on it really this is dirty this is fucked up you know like do you want to fucking win he's like yeah fucking run it no like it's a hit it's a hit man you did it yeah fuck man yeah well that that's what i was saying yesterday it's like so we have you know out of the propaganda of the news of the early 90s we have like these harsh racist crime bills that got passed through yeah then after 9-11 we have the patriot act that gets pushed through after all this crazy like was there really weapons there the news kind of

flubbed that one pretty fucking hard dude yeah you know that whole thing so we got lied to every pretty much throughout every president's presidency there's been humongous lies in the news that you know are pretty mainstream central issues of you know different things and now it's like there's another narrative that's totally off you know off of the full statistical picture and it's like it's still going right to people's spinal cords and they're just like yeah it's like there's another narrative that's totally off, you know, off of the full statistical picture. And it's like it's still going right to people's spinal cords. And they're just like, yeah, it's hard to watch. No, it is true that anytime there's like this level of like, this is crazy what's going on right now. And you're right that there is definitely something.

That's my point. Something bad is coming. What's coming behind this Trojan horse is my question. You know, anytime the media and all the politicians are like kind of on the same page yeah like what are you guys doing here i think it's total phone trade i think we'll have like total like because they tried to do it with covid maybe the double the double like double whammy here yeah complete surveillance and like covid it's like we need to track you guys at every moment yeah why don't we just all wear body cams dude i'm telling you man yeah well dude that they uh well the cove they paused covid for the right anything wrong just wear wear body cams dude i'm telling you man yeah well dude that they uh well the cove they

paused covid for the right anything wrong just wear the body cam that was the weirdest part they paused covid for the riots they were like all right time out on global pandemic race war all right race war didn't work back to covid back to covid yeah man i yeah it's like it's pretty fucking that's what harris gets into he's's like, he starts talking about like, I worry for the democracy. Yeah. I think the democracy could be becoming untethered. You're pretty good. You got a decent set.

He's finally get, I just listened to him for two hours. Finally, at one point, it's so funny. I had about three quarters of it. And he's like, and here we are at the core of this situation. Oh yeah. The core best. Go ahead and put a pin in this. Go back to what I was talking about discussing earlier but dude i uh i was telling you about rapaport the guy from the yeah he got busted on

the not wrapped you're not talking not not my dog right now yeah all right there's another guy he was like a chef from like a bon appetit magazine or something something i forget what it was called and uh he dressed up as like 10 i don't't know when this was, five or 10 years ago. Him and his wife dressed up as, I believe, Puerto Ricans. So like this guy, just all he did, he shaved. No, actually, it's definitely Puerto Ricans because his wife, the tweet is so fucking funny. So basically, the guy was, I'm going to bust this up. I can't wait till we get the TV.

Can't wait till we get the TV, dude. So, fuck. I guess, you know, I was about to say like how the man can't wait till we get the tv dude so fuck i guess you know i was about to say like how the fuck can you do something so stupid but i guess i've had some racial jokes go awry well i mean dude maybe they're just goofing i mean i stay amazed at the number of people who still come out and have done blackface that's kind of one of those things where it's like dude how yeah and that's it must haunt their fucking dreams dude did you i told you i told you on the last episode i was listening to the 1619 project yeah i'm woke and uh they're talking about how uh well black people black people invented music

excuse me pardon me that's the jeopardy obvious invented music that's what the pythagorean scale is named after um but uh menstrual shows was like the they were huge hits like oh like blackface shows first off i think that's jim crow what you know the jim crow laws and all that so let me reset my posture i could be wrong but but is Jim Crow just like... Blackface? Mandated blackface? The person who Jim Crow is. Stop.

Tell me he was a blackface superstar. Hold on. Wait a minute. Jamie that. Jamie that for me. Who actually is Jim Crow? Because it sounded like Jim Crow was an old black dude that was working and a theater dork heard him singing and was like, that's the ticket.

And then went blackface and just repeat. He was like, I found old Jim Crow and he was saying like this. And people were like, this is the fucking shit. Really? Yeah. I could be wrong on that. I swear to God, he was singing about Jim Crow. What Wikipedia says is that it's a character by Thomas B. Rice.

Yeah. Yeah. Jesus Christ. So Jim Crow was not like, when you hear like Jim Crow laws, it's a character by Thomas B. Rice and he came from a slave. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Yeah. So Jim Crow was not like, when you hear like Jim Crow laws, it's like, that must've been like a shitty Senator or something. That's what I thought it was. No, Jim Crow was just like a dude working.

So. And some fucking theater door saw him, put on blackface, imitated him and was, the dude was selling out theaters. So he John Lovett's him. He was like, he peeked out by the wedding singer. That's the ticket. Oh yeah. He's losing his mind and I'm reaping the benefits. Yeah. theaters so he john lovestom he was like he peeked out by the wedding singer ticket oh yeah he's losing his mind and i'm reaping the benefits so so then what happened was all like music in america

became just white people wearing blackface imitating black songs that was for a while for a while that must have been crazy dude killing it but there were also black performers doing the exact same thing what do you want white face no wearing blackface and singing with them yes you told me there's fake black there was fake blackfacers blackface that's pissing me off dude i'm pissed how they're gonna steal blackface how they're gonna take our culture how they're gonna appropriate our blackface culture so how would you even steal black they would just put the paint on to be like yeah because the paint is what you it was just like this is the fucking outfit you wear when you do these songs yeah so black dudes that were doing them would put on blackface was this like secret though

were they like was it like a triple disguise no i mean it's pretty you can tell what it doesn't look anything like a black person it's not like blackface is like perfectly done, like brown. No, it's like dark black with like a white. He's like, oh, I've been working so hard out here in the field. Is that actually a black guy? Wait a second. Is that fucking guy black? But that was interesting.

I always thought Jim Crow. I figured jim crow was either a i figured jim crow based on the name that doesn't sound like a waspy senatorial name from back then i figured jim crow was just a guy who got like lynched i thought it was a dude with a vision i thought it was a dude with a vision or committed suicide i thought i thought jim crow was a white guy who was like i got an idea check this out yeah i thought it was a white dude who made up, I got an idea. Check this out. Yeah. I thought it was a white dude who made up. No, I figured Jim Crow was either like a victim of the crimes that were created or that. But no, it turns out he was just a dude working. Perhaps a slave.

Who got his swag stolen. He totally got his swag ripped off. He got swagged. Just like a failing actor. Oh, God. They've always been slimy, bro. They've always been. Theater kids continue to

be the slimiest turds on earth nothing more vicious than a failing actor dude just being like i think i think i can capitalize on this what's going on that must have been a fucking wild risk that first night i mean good for him that's a rough one to be like i don't see if this works. What do they look like? He's got a picture of a black dude. Yeah, that guy got one. Dude, imagine people in the audience like, yeah.

All right. Yeah, this guy, this is working for me. True. He was at a talent show. Some guy just did the fiddle, and this other guy comes out and like holy people must immediately burst into laughter in the in the uh incredibly powerful podcast 1619 i suggest all of my listeners listen to it i'm sure you guys are gonna love it our listeners would love it they love the 1690 but i still don't i've listened to a whole podcast about it and i just forget. I know it's like you want to change a historical thing to like 1619 rather than 1776. So that way you don't celebrate the founding fathers.

You celebrate the slave labor. That's, I think, the idea behind the 1619 project. Could be wrong. I think. There's going to be some disappointment when they find out a lot of who owned slaves. What do you mean? If you look into history, kind of everyone. Everyone had them?

Literally everyone had them. Really? No, I mean every race had them. Yeah, yeah. Like the Prophet Muhammad. Yeah. Prophet Muhammad, which is ironic because you hear a lot of people, a lot of black militants change their name to Muslim names.

Yeah. They're like, we don't want the slave owners' names. It's like, you guys are going to be bummed. You guys are going to be bummed out. Did you find out that the Prophet? Jesus didn't have slaves. He had disciples. You know who didn't have slaves?

Jesus. Jesus. He had disciples. Jesus. That's pretty much the only person I can think of. And it's funny, too, because Arabs tend to go with the exact same thing white dudes do when defending slave owners. They treat them well.

Yeah, dude. That's the Arab defense. It's like, well, we didn't commercialize it. Yeah. We're going to talk about that because we – It was like – Anybody who had them has the exact same defense where it's just like, wow, we did better. They liked it.

Well, that was – yeah, that was – no, I read that before about the Arabian slaves. I read this in an article where they try to justify it being like look it wasn't anything like the farms in the south like it was like it was just the desert busy work everybody was having fun it was busy work it was the desert chorea law there's no way it was brutal well they also uh then i've read about they had like full-on galley slaves though where you would just be in the bottom of a boat just till the day you died dude just on the fucking horsepower yeah just chained it like three other dudes just like a human motor basically just fucking all day i mean damn did you get ripped no doubt but that was you know that was it that must those types we talked about last last yesterday because i was i've been looking

into the slave revolt in haiti yeah that must have been a rough one when one of those fucking one of those engines decided to fucking turn over on you there's jack dude 90 jack dudes coming up the steps like you know like the computerized cars people like what if the computer freaks out and it's like veers me into a tree like it won't they're all like the whole side was like push left and the shit was like fuck fuck fuck yeah where are we going yeah oh dude that's uh yeah we were saying that yesterday about like and that's something i i would love to know about how people who own slaves slept at night without being like just being like i hope these guys don't fucking come fuck me up

haiti they were like super paranoid about getting poisoned yeah that was one thing that like all for some well not for some reason it's because they were torturing everybody yeah they're torturing everyone on the island i wouldn't be able to eat dude and then uh yeah one day you know i love there was a bunch of different factions yeah in the haitian revolution yeah there was the the rich whites they were this guy puts it as the big whites so that was like the you know kind of royal major major the bezos the burgers the bezosers and Bezos. Yes. And then there was the small whites that were like middle management. Then there were the free coloreds. Yeah.

That's what they're called. That's what they're called. It's Haiti. And then there were the slaves. And so literally when everything broke up and the revolution started, they all just formed their own factions. But this was interesting to me. The small whites and the black folk not the slaves slaves never really had any support yeah the the free slave boning black people and the white people had

mutual interests which was fuck the big whites yeah we want our own shit and the way the big whites separated them was racial division and racist laws basically jim crow laws they put them yeah they instilled them in them so in haiti like oh these guys are starting to get along and they're going to start fucking with our shit we better separate this entire population with like pointless racist laws oh they give the white people like heads up give the white people a slight advantage from the black people and then so that the black people would complain yeah like why the fuck are we doing this and then the white people that are getting benefits are like why don't you shut up yeah you're lucky that's fair yeah this

is fair you know and then uh eventually the slaves just you know they got machetes god everybody off dude and haiti this was the scariest part. Haiti's like all sugar cane. It was all sugar cane. Yeah. Which apparently like burns like super easy. Yeah. So like right away, the slaves just lit fire. So the whole island was like burning.

And then they started, both sides just committing like the scariest atrocities. Yeah, the island's on fire, dude. The island's on fire. And if either side got captured, you were getting tortured. So it was just bands of roving dudes just like we're killing everybody that we see do you know and are you you know and are you afraid of the dark that's the powder they throw on the fire to make it go up sugar really yeah put sugar on it dude sugar can ignite are you afraid of the dark sugar that's what it is i

used to do it on my stove i told you that you're chiropractic no i you know that you have white powder on are you afraid of the dark anyway i that's my theory because i used to when i was little i think it was funny i just put sugar on my stove and it would go and blow up so i'm like dude i think that's what they threw on the flames and are you afraid of the dark oh so you came up with that that's my theory yeah i think you might be right i think it's sugar dude there was an episode you just solidified it oh i've been working on that theory for like 15 years now you said sugar cane i was like powder sugar is pretty flammable were you 20 when you watched it it's like 30 years in the mid no it's probably about 25 year

theory 30 year theory right there you just gave me the e equals mc squared my theories dude just got bunked yeah that's fucking sick but anyway haitian haitian revolution sick check it out yes highly boy's got rowdy i mean that's that's awesome yeah that was the only time that really ever happened though most slave revolts got like horrendously yeah would you ever hear about the coffee thing or there was a i was reading something about it was like an article about coffee and they were saying the guy i think left england and he was like i'm gonna start a coffee farm where you can like actually grow coffee like when coffee was becoming big so he just went to some other country and

there was like a bunch of indigenous people and he was like hey you guys want to grow coffee and like no we just grow all the food and eat it and chill and he was like that's cool why don't you grow some coffee dude he was like that's cool and just destroyed all their food and crops and everyone was starving he's like guys want to grow caught i'm just throwing it out there you're gonna grow some coffee and they were, I guess we have to. So he just went to a place, ruined their food supply, and was like, you guys got to work for me now. We're growing coffee. And that was like the start.

It's one of the big main coffee companies. That's how they started. A guy just absolutely starved the entire country and was like, I'm a businessman. These type of people have existed throughout history. Yeah. And became leaders and rich and heads of state throughout history. But now they, no, we got rid of those guys. No, now they're good.

Exactly. Now they're all good guys. It's just Nancy Pelosi and Trump. And Nancy Pelosi's going to save us. Nancy's a sweetheart. Trump's going to kill everybody. Trump is a bad guy. That's what people, that's the level of, you know, that's the level of discourse and worrying.

It's like, we got to get that good lady in there who takes good pictures. But, you know, the others, I mean, the Trump side of it's just like, everybody's kind of starting to concede that he's a bit of a fucking dingus. Like, even if you loved him, you're like, yeah, it's better than what we, the other side. That's all that anybody has right now. People are like, you know biden can't think right like anybody but trump yeah and you're like you know trump's like a dipshit right like anybody but first of all i admire the way my president ran down that ramp everyone was saying he doesn't have it anymore it's like dude he just oh yeah he just gained

some speed because it was the terrain was slippery so he fucking ran full speed downhill dude i don't see what the big problem is he didn't though did you watch him he didn't run at all what do you do he's like the last step he was like he just hobbled like that that's it he well the thing was how slow he walked down the steps yeah and then he tweeted out he was like yeah because everybody would laugh at me if i fell oh it's kind of sad man so sad dude no obviously that's not how he said it he was like the piece of shit media wishes i fell i can't, it's kind of sad, man. It's so sad, dude. No, obviously that's not how he said it. He was like, the piece of shit media wishes I fell. I can't fall. It's like everyone kind of wishes somebody walking down a ramp falls. Every single time I see someone on a ramp, I fall.

Trump should go full wheelchair. He should doctor exit. That way to ensure he never slips or falls. Well, that's the art action. Dude, it's like, make fun of me now, bro. Yeah. If he started, like, you you know now they have like uh designer specs he should throw himself in a designer chair respects it's not it's not

necessary it's just fashion true and just chair out and it's like what do you gotta say about it true he was disabled or do that thing people do that beg for change like put his knees in his sneakers and sit in a wheelchair he should get those jimmy volmer crutches fucking walk he already is leaning like that regardless it looks like he might have invisible volmers he could be hiding it you think he has like camo like uh digital camouflage thing they used to do with uh fdr you gotta hide it you gotta hide that he's in a wheelchair put him on the side of the horse and prop him up to give speeches he couldn't stand it put fucking like metal on his legs he's like a

living weekend at bernie's guy here just be like yeah he'd give speeches dude imagine if he got assassinated he'd fall like a tree yeah everybody would be like what what the fuck he's a cripple this whole time that must have been a sick conspiracy back then. How many of our presidents were cripples, dude? That must have been a fun conspiracy back then. Oh, he's a cripple? I'm pretty sure the president can't walk. Shut the fuck up.

What are you talking about? Look at the way his body moves. He's always got a blanket on his fucking lap. Every time he sits, I don't think he can walk. Pretty sure he's got some beef jerky out of that blanket dude yeah trump dog in walking down this and then we were talking we talked about yesterday it's one of my favorite things is like just how you can just check in on trump oh you just look at his twitter he tweets it'll be like 3 a.m he's tweeting like fucking read the documents again your pieces like in all caps he's like

tariffs you fucking beat like just wild shit every day and it's made me laugh that like literally since he's been elected every single day has just been full fucking mosh pit it's insane dude like he jumped right in as soon as he wanted to just like head down swinging i thought about him the other day like just like i wonder what it's like to be him. And I got like mild anxiety. I was like, oh, fuck. Oh, I try to put on like my fucking Trump hat. Well, not my legs, not my MAGA hat. I try to like.

Wait, you have one? No, I try to put myself. Matt has one. Snow hat. Matt had him. Matt had him. I try to put myself in his situation. Like, how would I deal with that of people every day being like, you're ruining the world,

you're an existential threat. And just being like, no, I'm not. I'm actually i'm actually i know i know i'm pretty sure the fucking balls it takes to just be like i would be well i ain't i'd be convinced if everyone in here was like yo this podcast sucks i'd be like it sucks if like every national media outlet was like yo this sucks i'd be like yeah exactly couldn't stop we did get trumped true and we didn't stop all the pussies we know were like this is horrendous true we got whistleblowers bro true we got former friends whistleblowing on twitter yeah dude people like people that got our contact info being like well one thing they said the word faggot twice last week sorry sorry about that yeah maybe we shouldn't

text me next time i'll say yeah my bad yeah dude it's just weird yeah i saw that and i was just like that was a tough one that bothered me being in his car on the way to shows yeah i liked him i like him a lot broke my heart hey man that's just what it is dude in these in these days but yeah the media did say we were shitty and a lot of people think we are literally that just that thought debrugered me about the betrayal i just went like that total betrayal i absolutely threw out my thoracic for that yeah you're caesar you're gonna get stabbed in the back as soon as these little weasels have a chance yeah but you know and i think tim dylan tweeted it yesterday

it's like the best the best thing that is the funnest thing to watch is people that tweet and say the right thing like constantly and still have nothing. Yeah. It's like how bad do you have to suck at this to literally be doing everything right and nobody wants to hear your shit? Well, yeah. That sucks. Yeah. Well, it's also like I feel like people who are just you know playing the game in that way need to be propped up by some sort of external apparatus that's like pumping

them out there doesn't mean i don't want to brag we got an organic fan base for a reason bro yeah man it's what it is and it's also like the people who listen to this like all the stuff we do it's not for a person to be like well i don't like that it's like yeah dude it's not for fucking you yeah i had to shut off fucking the show i was watching on hbo the other day so it wasn't for my fucking wife yeah it's like yeah this isn't for you man great fucking show i know what show it was it was uh what the fuck was it this i know it's true i started watching yeah i was like that's not a good episode two the baby i won't say anything but you know there's like dead infant we just had a baby there's a dead infant and i'm had a baby. There's a dead infant. And I'm like, no, I can handle it.

I'm like, no, you can't. I was like, I'm shutting this the fuck off. We didn't talk about it either. I was with a lady. And then when I put on The Revenant, might be the least... That might be the worst Bay movie.

Oh, dude. It's kry kryptonite i don't know if there's one if you want to get your bay repellent you want your lady to go to sleep or leave put on the revenant put on there will be blood the revenant or no country for old men and the bays are asleep or yelling yeah quickly it's because there's and i've thought about it it's because in the revenant there's not a lot of dialogue it's just one guy doing things and uh normally you have to like pardon me i shouldn't be on here the dog the dog brains need like uh somebody's saying what they're doing yeah i gotta pick up these sticks to build a hut now or like sarah jessica parker like and that's when i realized mr big wasn't the man he said yeah they need off-screen narration yeah pretty much pretty fun they need off-screen narration or like

it has to be like a a fifth within like five minutes of someone like bumping into like a hot guy i mean like excuse me oh sorry oh my god what if i took you out to get a cup of coffee dude 50 shades of gray was the most i'm still reeling on that how that swept the nation that if you want to get your if you want to get your man fired up, ladies, toss that on. Oh, it's crazy. He'll be ticked. Fifty Shades? Yeah.

Or you just sit there like, I think I'm getting pussy. I think I'm getting pussy after this. True. There's a lot of people who watch Fifty Shades in a Marple AMC and went home and got a blowjob. Oh, yeah. Because girls are like, I'm fired. That's what I'm talking about. Like a girl that normally doesn't was just like.

Yeah. This is crazy. This is crazy. Oh, dude. I didn't. This is the. Sorry. This is the thing I totally forgot about.

No, I wanted to get that Revenant take out. And it didn't. No, that's. Didn't go great. But that's all right. It's Bay repellent. If you ever. The problem is you have to wash the revenant with your bay it's just like i just don't like it it's like it's fucking amazing this is this now it's the same guy he's been out in the woods the whole time he's in the fucking woods dude this is the where is this

fucking um the thing that i was laughing out the rapid port thing so oh yeah it was a guy so yeah it was a dude from some sort of fucking thing oh he was a editor-in-chief over they call it brown face if you i thought you meant the name of his publication i was like well that's no that could be a problem but in washington redskins okay there we go there was here so basically he got caught for saying african afro-boriquas make regional rice fritters apparently it was like i don't know whatever but that there's his staff turned on him the staff was like fuck he's a piece of shit afro-boriquas bodiquas i think it's yeah oh no this guy tried apparently the they tried to some sort of food writer try to like write a thing i don't know so they're complaining about food

but dude food's always been political bro so don't get it fucking twisted yeah um i'm trying to find the fucking quote i'm trying to figure out was that a tweet he put out that said african no no this was this was like this was about food some other food writer tried to write the headline like afro bariquas make the best rice fritters and they were like how fucking dare you oh okay lumping afro boriquas dude yeah boriqua um yeah so yeah so then they're so they did they did the thing where it's him and his girlfriend you're gonna cancel fat joe and big punt you think so they need to be can there was a lot of n words flying true six nine passed pretty hard he went pretty quickly he was mexican too which is like i mean yeah puerto ricans and japanese

japanese are tossing take it easy lamar a japanese tossing uh japanese are allowed to now are they they're literally they're just trying to rile the way they trade you guys everyone's allowed to do it now hold on the japanese trade you guys anime for the n-word fuck that's a good deal damn oh oh here it is there's the picture thank you bro god damn it's fucking sick give it up for motherfucking yeah that's the intern even though the may i watched lamar find it the intern that's a good intern stealing the black man's work. Yeah, the picture I showed you before.

It's him just... The guy did like a chin strap and wore a chain. His girlfriend at the time really sold it too, dude. The look she's giving the cameras. It's really weird, but the thing... It's funny to just be like, wait, how did Puerto Ricans take pictures? Yeah. Wait, what? but the thing it's funny to just be like wait how did puerto rican's take pictures yeah well then the funniest part of that whole thing was so that came up as a throwback thursday like do you remember and it was just them like in puerto rican costumes which is such a funny

fucking costume so it was just them in that and then underneath it somebody one of their fellow like foodies or whatever wrote uh oh oh, my God, I remember that. I was so afraid of you guys that night. And then she had to apologize. For an Instagram picture comment. For being like, holy shit, I remember I thought you guys were minorities and I was terrified of that party. I guess that was a joke saying thing. It's a pretty funny joke.

You guys nailed a Puerto Rican. That was the scariest costume. That was the scariest. Like people were werewolves and vampires. I'll tell you what the scariest one was. It was damn Puerto Rican. That was the scariest costume. People were werewolves and vampires. I'll tell you what the scariest one was. It was damn Puerto Ricans. But her apology is so fucking... Now when people apologize in official statements,

they take on almost like middle ages language. I humbly ask that you allow me and I vow to do better. It's like, dude, why are you talking like Harry Potter right now? But in that lady's defense though, what percent of crimes do Frankenstein's, you know,

commit? She was right to be afraid. Statistics. If she backed it up. Yeah. If she had backed it up with the FBI. She was like Frankenstein's and ghosts have committed almost zero crimes. Ghosts have a couple.

I don't think, well, no ghosts. There's paranormal activity. Like how many people are they documenting? People have been yanked out of a couple under their belt. Well, no. Ghosts, there's paranormal activity. How many people, are they documenting people being yanked out of the bed by their ankles? They need to start. These are stats. I mean, the FBI doesn't have a...

Unfortunately, they don't have a good database on people being yanked out of the bed. That does sound like something Trump would actually start to look into if they had to hire ghosts. Well, dude, how about when they released aliens on us? In the middle of covid they're like oh by the way there's aliens don't worry about it aliens are real and uh that totally blew through a new cycle everyone's like yeah we know anyway what's up with this fucking virus and

they're like yeah what's up with our you know the threat to our lives yeah like nothing well they're trying to say now space force is because of they've no like alien we have to kind of deal with aliens on the sly right now but if trump is dealing with aliens dude that would be that'd be sick if aliens were like african immigrants who are just like trump is a strong leader true if yeah we always think of aliens of having like our values they could just be like indian dudes they could be here for nudes they were like they need our resources it's like now they're just beaming down like send us your bubs and they do love trump indian dudes love trump that's a lot of people don't know that yeah indian dude remember that stadium he had packed and he was like trying to he's like

actor jambi bajarani he was trying to like speak they're like yeah we know him yeah and by the way this is one of your uh this is basically i'm using your logic on this like i talked to one indian dude in an airport and i'm like indian dudes love trump fair enough an indian dude was like he is good at business like it's terrible indian really yeah my indian impression that was bad i think i lost my indian you think you lost it yeah i think i used to be able to do it if yeah man if you don't use it unfortunately the way to get into it to like start practicing again is you got to imitate a poo. Yeah.

That's the most racial thing you can say. That's the gateway. No, that's the gateway. To work on your accent, you got to be like, thank you. Come on, guys. Yeah, you have to. And that's the worst. You know, you can't do it.

You can't just launch into it. Shame on the Simpsons, by the way. Shame on them. That's disgusting. Disgusting. But you're absolutely right that you can't launch into a you know you can't launch into a good indian accent without you have to practice a bit you gotta garner you gotta you gotta bring him in your head and figure it out yeah and then you can go from there true to trump

is a good leader there you go working on it that's pretty good but yeah the um well apparently indian dudes just got beat up by the chinese pretty badly that's sino indian whatever conflict which again i'm still trying to figure out why chinese people are called sino which is i don't understand maybe that's just a thing for like the whole russo russo yeah russo japanese well i think it was i think they're not allowed to abbreviate chinese because it's like you just slap the s off hey you can't do that one chinese indian war that's a good name man what's wrong with me i think sino is the reason is people probably say no that's not chinese you know well you know it's funny too you know it's kind of funny seen him and killed they killed they killed uh like 10 indian dudes on the border thing

yeah what did they do? I don't know. Is that what you were telling? They were like throwing rocks at each other? It was gentlemanly. At first, it was just fisticuffs. It was like neighborhood fights. It was just fisticuffs. Yeah.

And then they got into like London stabbing territory. So it's like, I don't know if they shot somebody or what, but yeah, it was 10 Indian guys died. Who do you think took it there? Who do you think? The Chinese dudes versus the Indians? That's kind of hard. What Indians are we talking about? We're talking about... The border. It's the border of India. Okay. there who do you think the chinese dudes versus the india that's it's kind of hard what indians are we talking about uh talking about the border that's the border of india okay wait what indians

or what chinese yeah never mind i was being racist against muslims oh you thought it was like they tend to the london stabbings kind of put it in my head oh okay muslims love to just hop out stab really and well that's because they can't really get guns in london it's a little stab so yeah they just hop out yes start poking get you a good one what are the stats on stabbings in london i don't see i don't i don't i don't talk race and crime unless i know the stats dude true i apologize i want to apologize to all our british listeners right now humbly vow i'm fucking dude look i'm not gonna talk this is time for me to listen sure my bad i'm just gonna spend some time we're gonna do it we should release the the audio this episode as a vow for our silence true be tight they'd get us yeah but yeah man the uh sorry so the chinese this sino got they 10 of them died

dude so it's the fight over basically it's honestly it's like geopolitical king of the hill it's just them being like i'm pretty sure this is ours they're like no check out our map and they're like well this map says it's mine and they'll be like we have a map fight you for it yeah fight you for this beach and they're like dude fuck off it's fucking insane but yeah they'll do what they did last time which is like split the baby well china won't china i don't think china fucks i don't think china's backing down dude india and pakistan just did this where they like killed each other a little bit so then i think india bombed like a pakistani base yeah pakistan knew was coming secretly so they just didn't have any troops in it so then the indian papers could be like yeah we fucking blew up one of their bases for it call

it even and then the pakistanis could be like no one died to their people. I do wonder that. I wonder if they're catching up in terms of having the machinery of super propaganda. Catching up to us? Yeah, just like bombing bases. We might be catching up to them. Really? To fucking Sino? Yeah.

Sino's been on. Dude, we're trying to get to what they're doing. Oh, yeah. I think that's what I'm saying. They're like totally. Yeah. I mean, we've been propagandizing heavy but yeah they go hard in the paint with it dude did you get into that so this

is actually kind of funny they talked about um they're it's weird you'll like read these articles that kind of like sort of praise china's response to covid where they're like well they have they have like netting people out of their cars? Yeah. Those fucking pool nets were so funny. If you had like an easy pass and somebody would hop out of the pool net. Yeah, like a cartoon burglar. They'll be like, well, their system was... I don't think... I mean, I guess they have like a police force.

Do them welding doors shut? Oh, dude, it's insane. Well, this is what they're doing. They were saying like some of the mal things pop back up like they were kind of not like they didn't say it explicitly but like the the finer points of the mal era they're like because he had you would have like you know you have block captains and so i don't know if you have that new york and philadelphia you have a block captain you have like a self-appointed guy who's like i'm in charge here no and they were saying from the mal era on like every little like you know residential area like there'd be like four or five dudes who are on government

payroll to be like citizen kind of citizen spies who are like living like your peer but like when shit pops off that's what happened there was just these dudes got reunited back into like i'm block captain and they're like yo this guy's sick this guy's sick and you all just net them lock them away and then they can call they can call the communist party we need more dudes down here and they can get more military but you have neighbors at all times who are kind of like instead of a police force they have bar captains that's what i was saying so it was like it's called uh committee members they'd have like committee members sounds almost like a sci-fi channel shit but it's like no they always did soviet and communist countries they love fucking committees yeah Yeah, dude.

Chairs. They love chairs and committees. But yeah, so you'd have like four committee member type dudes who were like, when COVID pops off, like get in your house. And you're like, Frank, what's going on? Frank. Like, I'm the fucking committee member, motherfucker. Get in there.

You're like, Frank, what's up with the... Oh, fuck. That's a pretty nutty... Frank was like, might your uh your pool skimmer it's like why no no the deep one not the one that looks like a lacrosse a goalie stick yeah that's pretty great and they were kind of like this is stuff from this is mal stuff this is mal era stuff that you know it's it worked hey say what you will about it but it's like dude what the fuck is that gonna be a job now yeah just a resident

like government spy that just kind of chills on your block like what do you do it's like carpenter maybe that is a job maybe we don't even need that because we have twitter we get guys like our own friends being like they said bad words again last week yeah better make that public yeah maybe we don't need it maybe we already surveil ourselves dude maybe we are big brother true maybe we are big brother bro damn that was what i was thinking about this week where it's like with all this so this is this is a theory i'm working on this is bigger than are you afraid of the dark sugar fire so basically how i mean again i don't know it's not complete so obviously you know i'm probably gonna need another 25 years. Yeah.

But it's like the general condition encourages false self big time. It's like to have like you in order to be like, this is how I really feel about things. That's not happening. It's very risky. But in order to connect with another human being, you have to honestly relate to them. Otherwise, if you're just all your connections are based on like you kind of lying or like not being totally honest. Yeah. It's not like a real human connection, which people I think at the end of the day are after more than anything. all your connections are based on like you kind of lying or like not being totally honest yeah

it's not like a real human connection which people i think at the end of the day are after more than anything so it's like you know we're living in a thing that doesn't allow people to authentically connect really unless they're united under some weird like ideology yeah so that's like i think that's painting that's gonna do some bad stuff i think to people yeah because i think i think that's fair i think it's good theory if all your relationships are based on like you know like i don't know thinking yeah exactly it's like there's no and that because that in order for people that's why i think uh for me for a long time too it's like i think people especially like extreme achievers try to the whole idea is they've lacked a certain aspect of connection and then they try to be like

well if i could if i was this thing then i could dictate terms of a connection where like i wouldn't feel so insecure so i'm like surrounded by titles and stuff so it's like you you live your whole life to set all your human relations up or you're like now they'll like me and it's you know so it's like but if you just honestly relate things you can connect without doing all that stuff but you know i don't know either way sorry that's my allowed to really honestly well because of social it's risky dude you're not allowed to be honest like that no you're not like for example just in the last couple weeks on social media like during everybody you fucking better post a black square yeah or your silence is consent it's murder no it's murder yeah

and it's like well hold on maybe i think it's corny you know yeah but there's there's that peer pressure it's like i have to say something yeah you know and then or or you're in trouble and you can't say anything fucking against it regardless yeah or you're in fucking trouble so no one's allowed to speak and then it's like even the fucking delia thing it's like look i'm not fucking defending him because i don't know anything but the mob mentality of just crucifying anybody in three hours you know that's fucked up and if you speak up and say that people are like who the fuck and then you're just you're next so people are just afraid to even well that's common shit where we should all be like hey maybe these fucking you

know kangaroo courts are a little yeah i'd say yeah well i would i would i think right we should just do full internet search history just get it out let's let's put the chips on the table all texts all internet search history and let's fuck let's just let it rip dude if people are like i'm cool on that it's like oh well then fucking relax yeah true oh but he who cast the first browser history, dude, throws the first fucking stuff. True. It's like, let me see all your, let me listen to all your phone calls, all your fucking things.

Yeah. Then we'll, you know. Yeah, it was, it was funny to see people be like, like people defending D'Elia and being like, well, she was 18 or so, like whatever. It's like she was 18 at the time. People like, that's still fucked up. And I was like, you know, I got a porn hub. Yeah.

You're like, yeah. Yeah. I'm like, yeah know, I got a porn hub. Yeah, you're like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, that guy's a fucking pervert. What the fuck? Not 18. 18 amateur. Yeah, no, that is. I don't trip off to 18-year-olds. I mean, that gets into weird territory of, like, when they're, like, in shoot.

It's like people be like you know there was the big ones were like i was 16 at the time that was like the good stuff honestly and then it was like i mean to be fair i was 19 at the time and it's like all right well you're out all right you're out of this we're talking we're talking pedophilia dude yeah you had a bad date or like you were a bad day you're a female comic who didn't get the fucking advice or mentorship you wanted that's this and this is what I've said way before. It's like, this isn't your time. We're talking pedophilia.

Yeah. And you got, you know, you didn't have a fun time. Yeah, and it's also like, I get it. If you don't like somebody, you're eager to, like, it's like I felt like somebody was mean to me when I thought they were going to mentor me. Yeah. So you're going to publicly try to, literally try to ruin their life while it's like, wait, this isn't, don't do that. Don't like just use your little personal grudge to get back at people while you're allowed

to. Yeah. It's fucking weird. Then again, once you have the pederast charges, it's like. Pederast is, it's. You're saying, you're saying Sebastian at that point, you're just, you're just like arrows flying at you, bro. It's just like, I mean, I'm not comparing pedophiles to St. Sebastian.

To St. Talia. That's my confirmation. St. saint alia sebastian is it sebastian your confirmation name yeah was i accurate he got the arrow shot at him yeah yeah it gets a tree yeah exactly tied up to a tree and hit with arrows yeah i mean you have the big pedophile arrow you don't need the fucking mean guy it's like he's also mean he's also a shithead does anyone know he's a jerk it's like yeah we covered that under pedophile umbrella. Yeah, pedophile got that one. Or, yeah, it's like, what's it, what's it, didn't they start like a elite class of pedophiles or like, no, no, we're, we're the pedophiles at like, like teens.

There's a word for that. There is. It's called like a. Well, technically it is correct. The term. Pedophiles is for like, I believe like prepubescent. So technically D'Elia is not a pedophile. He's like a somethingphile.

I was going to say francophile, but that's the French. Is he like sick-ass dudeophile? Obvious broophile? Alpha. Alpha elite dog? Ephibiophile. Ephibiophile. Ephibiophilia.

Ephibiophilia. Yeah. And what's the definition of that lamar uh it's the primary sexual interest in mid to late adolescence generally ages 15 to 19 i'm dumb kid just kidding kidding again kidding again 15 to 19 it's rough can't they break that in half like 15 to 16 17 to 18 to 19 why do they can we start at 18

on that one just be like you're into 18 to 19 yeah why do they include 19 year olds in that and dude that's you can't include 19

I reject that category whoever made that from 15 to 19 that's weird yeah fucking aphibio file I think a D'Leo

was buying a keyboard at Webster's on that is that Urban Dictionary somebody was like you know if you're into like 19 year old 15 year old same fucking same category yeah man that's uh again this is this is my main i have a legitimate i've never had a legitimate political concern but now it's i'm watching there's a there's you just take all the people you can make vote based on abortion now who's you know who will rp and you know 30 years from now and now you're gonna enter a whole new millions of people you

can control via like you're not racist right you're not a fucking philip phileos or whatever the fuck that is called yeah so there's millions of people you can be like you're not racist right well if you want to fuck this guy you want to fuck a 15 year old yeah no no no i don't that's way different uh i was a pretty uh sick ass video today what sorry to cut you off no that's that's the whole point it's just remind me of this uh it's really funny it was this black dude in front of like all the which this was kind of odd it was a bunch of uh like nurses and doctors out uh yeah protesting in front of the hospital about black lives matter they were holding up a sign they weren't getting attention

this week no no the doctors and nurses so nobody nobody black lives matter and it's like all right dude fucking who's on the ventilators get upstairs we got names and pats croaking true but uh and the occasional 15 month old so they all the black lives matter signs and I believe it was a black dude, it sounded like a black dude and he drove by and he was like Black Lives Matter? and they were like yeah and he was like what about the victims of black on black crime? and they were like yeah of course and then one

nurse like walked out to like take a knee in front of everybody like while he was filming she took a knee on black on black crime? she did start to take a knee and then he was like what about all the aborted black kids? and they were all they all just went dead silent he's like wait those lives don't matter do those matter was this just these people were seriously the lady that went to take a knee stood up and was like he's literally talking to nurses and shit he's like what about black abortions is this jesse lee peterson i don't know who it was it was

fucking hilarious to watch all these people that were out front with signs. And then this black conservative rolls up. Dude, black conservatives. There's nothing better, dude. Black conservatives are fucking liberal virtue signalers. Kryptonite. Oh, it kills them, bro. Because they instantly want to slam them hard, but they can't.

So they're just kind of like. Yeah. hard but they can't so they're just kind of like yeah i mean that it was a that was we talked about before when i watched a teacher bring up the uh duane wade son and someone was like i'm gonna get that motherfucker some pussy man i'll straighten his ass out and the lady the teachers all like the black lady said this and all the white teachers were like yeah i mean that's a that's a cultural way to look at that's crazy that's and then one lady was like i don't think i don't know i just totally yeah yeah it's like you can't they got the gloves on you're not allowed that's been that's been one of my more favorite things about

uh this whole ongoing thing like the protest and stuff is because now it's slipping into trans black lives matter and just seeing black people that were protesting like all right hold on hold on it's like that's is that us now what's going on here you're marching for transfer which is you should yeah you should so but then was there was there real any like real pushback that was like all black lives matter well yeah then you started to get into like i don't know if that's like a troll of that i don't know if that's a troll or what well i mean once you break it down to a subset yeah that's what happens but it sounds like you and me are defending all lives matter no we're just pointing out the fact that it's funny when black lives matter gets broken down into black trans

lives matter a lot of people are like well all black lives yeah they're like well it's about all of us now trans are more at risk than you. True. It's like, oh, dang. Yeah, that is, again, I would be curious to see how that was received. If it was like, no doubt, no doubt. Because you can just be like, yeah, for sure. Say no doubt. Because you can say like, no doubt, being like, rather than being like, because the whole thing when they were like, Black Lives Matter, people were like.

Yeah, no diggity, no doubt, you know. They're like, all lives matter. All we have to do is be like, yeah, no, that's for sure. Yeah. And I'm like, well diggity, no doubt, you know? They're like, all lives matter. All we have to do is be like, yeah, no, that's for sure. Yeah. And I'm like, well, what's that mean that I don't? It's like,

yeah, it's just when someone's arguing it. Yeah. It's like, it's also sick too to be like, if you're sitting there, you're on social media, see Black Lives Matter, you're like, motherfucker.

You're like, there's gotta be a fucking loophole. There's gotta be a weakness in this position. And you're like, all lives matter. I got it. That was easy. This can't be disputed.

There's no way this is wrong. Yeah, man. The anti-racism is going to be like the pro-life, pro-choice type thing where it's just like, I'm anti-racist. It's like, well, I'm pro-life. It's like playing parent. You like death? You like racism?

It's designed to kill black people. Dude, my mom hit me with that. I told you my mom hit me with that. That's a tough one. It's like, well, I'm pro-life. It's like Planned Parenthood. You like death? You like racism? I was designed to kill black people. Dude, my mom hit me with that. I told you my mom hit me with that. That's a tough one. That's floating around. My mom has a black, half black granddaughter. And she was like, do you know that Planned Parenthood kills black people? I'm like, yes, mom.

Yeah, that's what it's for. That's what it started out as. That's what it's built for. That's what it started out as. That's no good. That's junk. Amir? That's junk.

Thank you. That didn't sound great. great no it didn't sound bad not a lot of pep i apologize for using my delia power against you i do have delia-esque powers in this studio i don't want to hold them over you and i apologize true but yeah man that's the uh state of things today today. COVID might not be real. Doctors are very much... I'm going to next time I go to the doctor. Again, I don't have health insurance

right now, so it might be a while. Which is funny because we never really complain about the healthcare system. Probably should. Neither of us have health. I'm 32. I'm definitely going to be in declining health shortly. You might as well jump on that. I got to start complaining about health care because that is a little crazy.

Yeah, that's some bullshit. We should have health care. I would say. We should have health care. I would thought about it. This is my theory about that today I just came up with. Doesn't England have a single payer system? Canada?

France? Everybody. All these countries that our military more or less kind of- Pays for. Pays for. We protect those, boys. I think we purposely are left to not have health healthcare to encourage enlistment in the military. Because I think if they were to give everybody healthcare, it's like that $20,000 signing bonus and killer benefits.

It's like, fuck that. I already have that. So I think since we're like world military, they don't give us health care to encourage more and more people to sign up for the military. Americans are basically Spartans. That's what I'm saying. We're all jack dudes with abs. We're fat. We're all fat.

We're fat Spartans. We're fat Spartans. America's fat Spartans. Fat Spartans just at home watching. Because there's no reason, dude. We have so much fucking money. People run across like foam, like American Ninja Warrior, just fat dudes sitting there like, Hoof!

Hoof! We are. Pretty much america is fat sparta it's fat sparta dude that's boy love no that's great that's the athena that's the greeks dude i got into uh boy love i started thinking of a game called greek twister the other day where it's like so you say we were playing greek twist i was thinking about how supple after my parents call me fat i was like trying to combat in my head in the shower like i'm more supple dude i'm more fun i'm more just like you know my body flows dude for sure very it is very greek it's like a greek statue it's not like ripped really you can tell there's muscle underneath there's small dick tiny dick tiny ass dick tiny dick like not a totally well-defined six-pack and not like huge pecs but like you know it's definitely you tell the guy strong as fuck from the statue

ooze intelligence fat ass you ooze intelligence exactly dude can't be like yoked and people see you and be like oh that guy's smart although that would be gotta be slightly soft that's what i'm saying i'm so smart i have some iq fat on me yeah i have iq fat on my body but yeah the um i don't even remember the fuck i was talking about oh greek twister so i started thinking about like just a good thing for people to play so it's just two dudes get naked and compare the strength kind of like you and phil arm wrestle the other day oh yeah we didn't even talk about yeah i forgot about you guys you get totally naked and then like so you and i'd be naked like you put it like a bed or in the grass and then

regardless see whose wrist is stronger than whose wrist and it's like you do wrist power and it's like all right let's do wrists while we do ankles it's greek twister and then you have to constantly combat different body parts to see who can overpower who's what how do you do you get to donk dude these are i mean you thought of dong obviously no i didn't i didn't you didn't think of one no this is just this is just a classic uh contest of strength dude in the spirit of old school bodybuilding which obviously you're gonna be naked for this and greco-roman this was an idea wrestling which was naked for sure 100 had to be naked this so i get ideas before i fall asleep and this was one that i was like greek twister hilarious why twist it because you'd spin the dial and it'd be like hand feet

and you have to just like instead of like touching the square you'd spin the dial and it'd be like hand, feet. And you'd have to just like, instead of like touching the square, you'd see whose hand or feet is stronger than the other person. You'd have to de-state. You don't have to be naked for this, honestly. I know, but in the spirit of the Olympics. In the spirit of Greco. In the spirit of the Olympics, you should be naked. You should be at least. Phil fucking proved his worth.

Dominated. He dominated. Yeah, there was some leftover chicken. Phil was eating some leftover chicken I came up to a bit of a vulture you went up behind him if Phil's eating something

I always act like I'm gonna grab it and he it's just it's too fun does he box you out yes he immediately

what the fuck are you doing like if you reach for his food he's like get the fuck out of here it's so fun or if he has a knife

or fork he'll fucking he'll poke you he'll swing it he'll go for you which is very fun does he no look a lot of old men will be like get out of here Or if he has a knife or fork, he'll fucking swing it. He'll go for you, which is very fun. Does he no look?

A lot of old men will be like, get out of here. It's like in the movie when a cool badass is playing poker and sticks a knife through someone's hand. You know what I mean? When they're trying to cheat the table. He's like, put the knife. That's what my dad does to mashed potatoes. He sees my hand reach for his tates. But he. Are you constantly trying to scoundrel his food?

I constantly fuck with his food, yes. Oh, God. It's just funny. He thinks it's funny, too. Of course. It's not. I wouldn't do it if it hurt him. But he...

It's a sick form of elder abuse, just like prison fucking bullying. That's my fucking potato. Yeah, it's hilarious. I come home, rub his head when he's sitting on the recliner. I always... He's like, get the fuck off of me. You can always see the tip of his head on the chair. I'll rub his head when he's sitting on the recliner. I always, he's like, get the fuck off of me. Like, he'll be sitting on the, you can always see the tip of his head on the chair. So I'll shake his head.

I'll be like, get the fuck off of me. Steal the remote, hand it to him, act like I'm going to hand it to him, pull it away. Give me the fucking remote. It's nonstop. It's nonstop. Now that I think about it. You must be so happy when I leave. Oh my God. Finally, just to fucking relax. He's got to love it, man. He does. He does. He's happy. stop it's not stop now that i think about it you must be so happy when i leave oh my god finally

just to fucking relax he's gotta love it man he does he does he's happy he's talking with him with the remote and i'm like i'll stop doing it if you don't laugh and he's always like he can't dude i'm telling you you saw my baby dude that's i think babies are a trick to getting you into loving people because when you have them as a baby you're like god i fucking love this person yeah if you if like you just emerged at 34 in your dad's world he'd be like get the fuck out of here true just came out like give me some potatoes you're like dude no they're mine they're mine yeah but yeah he saw me when i was a sweet boy he's smiling laughing he loves it now i rub his head he loves it yeah but uh so there was some leftover chicken. I went for it. He'll immediately box me out.

I cried against it. I rallied. I said, this is bullshit. Those are my leftovers. They weren't at all. You called them? But I said I called them. Which, you know, it was an unwritten.

He wasn't there for it, but he does honor the called it code. True. So if somebody called it and you weren't there for the call, you still respect. You hear out the claim. So he threw down the the gauntlet so then he fucking put his elbow on the island in the kitchen god that's so fucking alpha just instantly was just like and i was like oh fuck my sister was in the in the living room she was like so sir mcguire slam and sarah was in there slam and sarah is recovering from some surgery so she's had a lot of couch time she's in the early lead she's charging up farts in the couch it's the summer

of home runs yeah it's the summer of my sister's knocking them out of the park and i'm keeping track i pretend there's a count i pretend there's a count yeah which is even more funny because they're like when are you talking they get like upset what are you talking have you heard a single fart they have not farted once but you know you gotta lie about it so phil threw the gauntlet down sosa was hyped immediately oh immediately he's like you have to do it or you're a pussy slamming sarah sosa was claimed dude watching fart mcguire uh there was just a 30 for 30 on fart mcguire and sarah sosa

and it's so fucking funny sarah sosa sarah's more the outgoing personality one fart mcguire's all business fart mcguire is fucking jacked it's so funny sarah sosa is more of a showman. Oh my God. It's a whole point to call your sisters that. Especially when they finally fart in front. How often do your sisters fart in front of you? Like made an effort to not. Yeah, my sister would never fart. I do nothing but fart in front of them. That's what I'm saying, dude.

Our dinner table is like, we fart. If I get a family dinner, it's a fart. Fact. Sosa was watching me literally record farts and send them to my friends in the group chat and this bad boy broke out oh you gotta go on you said that went to the group chat? I sent that to the group chat. Did that win? I timed it.

It was about a seven-second fart. And with a little punctuate. You got an exclamation point on the end of that. That was chipping it onto the green. Sent it. A lot of people would have picked that up and not sent that, but I played until it sent. That was good.

Yeah, pardon me. Don't do that. But yeah, Phil laid down the gauntlet. I will say I was laughing the entire time, so that doesn't really count as a win. But yeah, he won. Phil wasn't laughing. He wasn't laughing at all. And it was one of those where in one second, I knew I lost.

He probably lost a millimeter off his teeth on that one. Right. True. You fucking cocksucker. If he would have lost, it would have been over. If he would have lost arm wrestling, that would have been his death. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I would have reminded him every day. I'd be like're dying it's like he's got a life in the

he's got a life he's hopping around i beat my freshman gym teacher in sumo wrestling and i never let him forget it dude yeah it almost felt bad after all he had a claw he had like one of those fucking hands that were mangled up my pop-up head like where he like like blew up in a furnace or something where like he was fixing something he had one of these permanent things and all he liked to show was how good he was at wrestling and i threw him out of the fucking circle made fun of him yeah i'm in eighth grade no no no that's kind of all we had could have been eighth grade it was i think my junior year in high school i beat phil in wrestling did you yeah yeah i called jonan for i yelled for my mom i'd be like you have to witness this

because he'll lie because you were fucking i had him pinned did you and he couldn't get up long enough for me to call for my mom to come upstairs but anyway he created a monster he created yeah it happened with billy created a monster now billy is just like i'll try to wrestle him and it just it's scary dude oh yeah you didn't tell your wrestling story fuck man it was embarrassing what happened sunday i fucking showed my fucking ass dude i first of all i've been using literally the ash showing olympics dude you participated in several events first of all i've been used i've been working on shred now i now have mock bragging 13 workouts on shred yeah sick so i'm working on shred i thought i was like i did

13 workouts people probably gonna be stoked on my body go home shirt off reveal the whole family my in-laws were there everyone's there swimming in the pool my dad's like you got a little pouch on you immediately my dad calls me fat and i'm like thought i was jacked now i'm fat as fuck you just have to get fat enough where people don't bring it up to you because it actually is hurtful yeah that's the thing that's where i'm at i take my shirt off people like they don't say anything you know they're not gonna fucking call me out my mom said something so then like and again i hadn't eaten all day because i did the church of dog also you have to be the meanest possible like if you are

slighted in any way you respond with the harshest thing you can truly get somebody's like oh man you're fat i'm like yeah well your parents are dead you know the harshest thing you can. True. So if somebody's like, oh man, you're fat. I'm like, yeah, well, your parents are dead. You know what I mean? The harshest comeback. Wrap your heart in barbed wire. You can't let them in. Yeah. You can't let them make fun of your love handles.

You have to bring up their like siblings. You said I had bitch hips before too for the record. Well, the hips got me, dude. I passed that on to you. Bitch hips.

Bitch hips is the meanest thing you can call another man. Dude, I told you this before. I remember when I i was when it was fart mcguire dude and slam and sarah they got me with bitch hips they were on the couch i was laying on the floor in front of the tv and i was laying on my side like a swimsuit model my bitch like a male bikini model yes and my bitch hips were very pronounced i guess oh and slamming slamming sarah and farbe guire just had a field day it was just they were just taking turns but bitch hips yeah i mean do the psychological warfare endured from

two older sisters is i can't imagine it dude because it's like i just got beat up by my older brothers and that was that was the end of it they were like you're fucking gay and i was like i don't think i'm gay but all right guys i appreciate if you didn't say that i got called gay throughout yeah but girls are like really good at tearing and they were yeah and they were they knew what was tearing men apart that were six or seven years older than me because that's how old they were jesus man so i was getting hit with like you know what do like college dudes hate getting called while i was in like fifth grade like wait what'd they give you i mean bitch hips was bitch hips was a rough one yeah thunder thighs thunder thighs is so funny i got

dude i still it should be called thunder thighs and bitch hips secret podcast uh god i'm trying to think what they got me on they i mean they would expose me like if they knew like the time i thought i was getting away with jerking off in the shower. And they're like, you're disgusting. Everybody knows what you're doing. Just the shame of like. That sucks because all my older brothers were also jerking off. So this was kind of like a skull and bone situation.

Which is really disgusting to think about. Sosa and Mark. Sosa and Fart getting after it. That's why you're counting their farts now. They were counting your beats, dude. Being like, you're in a perfect 500 for the spring. I had a hell of a summer that year. I destroyed Maris' old record.

I still to this day, every now and again, we're talking about you jerking off. And I have to confront the reality. This is America. It does not want to confront the reality of our dads jerking off once every month, I guess. Two months, our dad's 60, still cranking. They have to. I had to confront that at the laser tag. True.

When I saw Phil's cum jeans. When he had the cum jeans. And I was like, wait, dads can't cum. This must be old jeans. Nope. Yeah, man. Every now and again, every listener you know you just saw your dad maybe you haven't seen him in a while you went home and saw him they're starting to get

a little old still jerking off there's still jno have to have to maybe even once a year did imagine that jl it's good because that's i've been i've been god bless me for now i've been off the porn which is just you know it's personal choice no i'm not judging anybody well that's the thing i'm gonna start doing to tweet when you fall. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. But dude, the problem is I'm so ingrained in my day right now that I just won't jerk off at all.

It's like a whole week. I've been doing like seven days. Yeah, I missed like three JOs once this week. Dude, I've been holding in like- Just being tired. Really? Yeah, it's been good. That's what I think.

I think I'm just so busy that I don't- And like, dude, there's just no really- I know you have a kid and you're working, but if I do one 45-minute Peloton, I'm exhausted for the day. You can't come for three days. You're just Dick Cheney for the rest of the day. No, it's like there's no good time because it's like I wake up in the morning. I'm not going to, like – I have my daughter. I'm not going to, like, put her down and, like, go jerk off.

Yeah, you can't do that. So there's no good time for that. Oh, yeah, that's true. The kids have been daughter. I'm not going to like put her down and like go jerk off. Yeah, you can't do that. There's no good time for that. That's true. The kids have been over. Yeah, exactly. You can't jerk off when kids are in the house. Exactly. It's weird.

Yeah, it's weird, too. I mean, you can. You can. You got to be. I got to be like in like stage four REM sleep. Yeah. You know what I mean? Then it's like.

Yeah. Yeah. You just. So you start getting disgusted. All the porn is like my daughter. And I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. It's got to be on complete silence. Yeah. If you have a kid, the discussing all the porn's like my daughter and i'm like jesus fucking yeah it's gotta be on complete silence yeah if you have a kid the daughter it's just like disgusting or people get they're like they get into it but it's i'm like i'm watching it just like jesus what the fuck never i can never give me give me some yoga pants squirt

dude that's all i want yoga pants squirt yoga pants squirt and let me go to bed but now it's like it'll i dude i got like a sharp pain up in like my you know like epididymis area but i'm digging in i got a i had a sharp pain i was walking me and britney were walking the dogs and maya and i just was like oh she's like what i was like i gotta come she was just like you serious i'm like i gotta i can come pain and she's like i must be like my milk letting down i'm like basically yeah there's girls that when they when girls are breastfeeding they're all of a sudden they did their boobs just go love to hear you you and you and your your ladies conversation this is anything what they're like where it's like oh i had a cum pain oh it's like my milk tits yeah i think so honey back to walking to have my pipe oh yeah i never thought of it like that I never thought of my dick like your tits.

Dude, when the baby is hungry. It's a good thing we're parents. We're going to raise this. We're smart. When the baby's hungry, their tits hurt. Basically, like when I have to come, my dick, my epididymal region hurts. Your dick's like your. Pretty much. Like mammary gland.

But the. Yeah, dude. So I was like, dude, I hate to, you know. Wow. That's crazy. That's how that works for girls tits yeah dude like fucking don't tell the babies hourly they're like oh this is about when they would have to eat yeah and they just go oh no give me here she's hungry the baby just dude it's fucking nuts and the baby trains women on how much milk to produce so the baby will take and then your breast will like just surge with milk and then you'll get like blue tits for a while and then they'll your body will be all right we don't

need this much and slowly scale it back but if you keep pumping and pumping so gross dude tits and milk milk is it's good it tastes good though it's not you need to stop drinking breast milk it's not bad it tastes like dude i had an idea that's a weird thing what drinking breast milk i'd have to taste it to make sure it's good when i because i've been doing the bottles now so i'll have to take a little squirt of it i mean obviously that's probably why i look so big and like scary to my family on home all the hgh stem cells no it's because you did puerto rican face i didn't do puerto rican so you scared everyone at the family or you everyone was so afraid of you because you had a chin strap beard i was so afraid but yeah man that was the uh i was like i hate to propose you know i forgot some sort of sexual

activity just chilling downstairs just sitting downstairs bring him up for the last 20 minutes but yeah the um that was that's kind of what was going on it was i was like look i hate to propose like a sexual activity to you but i need you to release me and that's it and it was just you used your power i it's just like dude i swear to god bae's like this when you're like look dude i'm off the porn i'm not jerking off true you're my soul i need you to do this actually kind of hot that's getting me going a little pretty Pretty tight, dude. It's awesome. But then again, then I just lost track of it and it was like,

all right, dude, it's time. It's a good day. They can appreciate you saving it all and then they get to verify. Dude, I don't want to get grotesque if we're talking family stuff,

but oh boy. Talking family stuff. You're talking about a fountain. I'm talking about tablespoons, not teaspoons, bro. Matt, you know what? This is the type of junk I hate. You're gross.

How am I gross? You're gross. I'm a dad who's trying to kick porn, dude. You're sucking down breast milk, jizz, and quarts. It's disgusting. Maybe the breast milk is what... If that's the case... Dude.

Sorry, dude. Trying to rope out. Million dollar idea here. Hear me out. So you know how there's moms that have babies? They get the babies taken away because they're on drugs and stuff? They're still producing drug milk. What do you say, dude?

You bottle that stuff up. You bottle that stuff up. It's like you can just test it. It'd be like DXM, methamphetamine, coke. This one's pcp so you want to milk drug drug drugged out like uh sell their milk and then use that money part of that money obviously we'd have hefty salaries to be a non-profit use that salary to pay for their legal fees and their rehabilitation oh so it's good in a way in a roundabout way but we sell the drugged up breast milk to just like college kids yeah or teenagers depending on who the market's looking like

because remember you ever hear about people drinking pee who uh jessa reed used to talk about this how she would be on meth and drink their pee so it's got to be in the breast milk too it is in the breast milk but i'm saying there oil fields kicking around. Or we just sell drugs. Yeah, but dude, it's legal. You're allowed to sell drug-based breast milk. You're definitely not allowed to. There's no chance you're allowed to. You can't milk it. I promise you there are laws against selling breast milk.

No, I'm pretty sure you can. You cannot. You can give it away and have a club membership kind of thing. There has to... Anytime there's something weird that a weird pervert would do, there's a law, dude. Somebody was against it and someone was like, no, you're not supposed to sell breast milk. True. But I feel like that's a good pervert would do there's a law dude somebody was against it and someone was like no you're not selling breast milk true but i feel like that's a good workaround for drugs there's gonna be hippies jamie i see you looking it up is breast milk selling breast milk illegal

can you sell breast milk i'm sure you can in fucking oregon i'm pretty sure oregon what do you know about chaz i love the chaz you love chaz i'm about to join the Chaz. What is Chaz? They took over the... Chaz took over Seattle, right? Can you sell breast milk? I didn't find the answer. What? Oh, you just got some Chaz comments you're trying to get out? We're going to get the mayor of Mike, and he forgot it.

My old roommate, he wore a Notre Dame hat, and the mayor of Seattle went to Notre Dame. Hell yeah. The head of a 1619 project, the lady who does the podcast, went to Notre Dame hat and the mayor of Seattle went to Notre Dame. Hell yeah. The head of a 1619 project, the lady who does the podcast, went to Notre Dame. Notre Dame's in the house right now. True. Incel Brusno. Intern found it. One nothing intern over there.

Actually, truthfully, it's about 50 to nothing after yesterday's fucking debacle. We recorded all two hours in Le Mer. Le Mer did us a favor. is this is a this is significantly better than your podcast yesterday yes thank god dude thank god you called me you called me yesterday and we're like i think we might have not had the audio and i was like good yeah i'd love a fucking do-over on that one yeah well it just wasn't fun dude it was just like we got i was definitely red my face was red the entire time same dude i it's like what i'm saying is and you're like no you're fine i'm like oh you know i'm fine what are you talking about of course i'm fine well because yeah it's terrifying yeah get into this loop of like wait did i just say did i say something fucked up there did i

try to it's like yeah you're fucked yeah and we and like you were saying like we both had these ideas thought out that in your head, you're like, I get it. Yeah. You know, like you explain it to yourself in your own head. Perfect. Got it. Anybody could understand this.

Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, I didn't use words on that part of my thought. Yeah. In my head. I just kind of was like, well. Yeah. It's like I didn't use English in the thought process. Yeah.

The chorus that was bouncing off was me just being like, yeah, dude, you're absolutely right. I was like, yeah, of course I am. Yeah. Where are we at time-wise? Yeah, I think we're... A minute and 45. A minute and 45? Hour 45.

That's good. I'm wondering for the Patreon, dude, if we're just starting chopping these things up and putting the other half on the page or just doing... No, let's put this whole thing out and then we'll figure out a page this week. Yeah. I'm thinking about a check-in. Oh, yeah. We should just do that. It's a new month, bro.

Yeah. We should just do a dog roll call this week. Eventually, we'll be able to do dog roll calls from the TV screen, I think. Yes. We'll be broadcasting through Crowdcast onto there. Mary, you're nodding your head like that's possible. Let's focus on audio. through Crowdcast onto there.

You're nodding your head like that's possible. Let's focus on audio. Also, people said I was mean to you on the internet. Who said you was mean? I'm getting a little flack. Intern, am I mean? Not at all. Not at all.

Perfect. Intern is a Native American. LaMera is black. We are cutting edge, dude. Come on. We don't even have to bring that stuff up. You guys want to bring that stuff up uh i'm not gonna brag but i i did get one percent north african in my uh had them had them depending no that was the other part of your family that also had them you got double had them what the fuck's double africans had them the most what are you talking

about that's the barbaries but they also say western they say western asia also had them also i might have been i might be descended from white slaves in the barbary states dude bite your fucking tongue no no no i might have been them had them it's why one of them says ancestry.com says north africa one percent and the other one you're gonna be bummed out west asian turns out native americans had them had slaves big time not black but i'm sure they had obviously yeah i don't even have they had native americans had them they had yeah they had why i didn't this is this is and the white man's reparations was uh you know 578 million acres and a mule they got the whole fucking thing cassinis yeah yeah they got like uh no i meant the white man's reparations to the native americans enslavement of oh so I meant the white man's reparations to the Native Americans' enslavement of the white man.

Oh, so they had white Native Americans. To each other's reparations was the United States. The entire United States. Yeah, white people were like, well, call it even. No, your North African bloodline is definitely Barbary pirates that had them. I mean, if you're going to call me a pirate, it's like, did you... If you could technically have pirate blood, but also have them like what are you doing what are you taking because you're not then you're not having pirates didn't have slaves they just made people pirates with

them so in my defense in my entire country my fan in my defense oh i just made people other pirates too it's like captain hook i had your people you know no no no i'm saying if you're gonna grant me pirate blood which all of a sudden makes sense why i was attracted to this flag it's just my culture true i don't think if i had a guess i mean i don't know much about the barbara does remind me why i immediately detested it i was probably in the column in the the village of baltimore ireland you were a white slave you got taken by my pirates barbarous fucking shitty pirate relatives getting fucked with our shit oh it's either that or it's west asian which i don't even know what that is that's middle east okay swag so i'm like that's what's up fucking white that probably is a white guy loud hip-hop is definitely you know that could easily be me. That's kind of funny.

Oh, man. Yeah. Your people were... Yeah. So you're half? I mean, it makes sense. I naturally gravitated towards the skull, the buccaneer symbol. Do you know buccaneers are actually... Go ahead.

Go ahead. This is my big Snapple fact. I was going to save that for the fucking back doctor. Try it. Let me hear it uh this is bukon means food and the buccaneers used to sell what that's close and they buccaneers used to rape people and sell no one was raping well i'm sure you're telling me pirates weren't raping but that has nothing to do with the pirates weren't even not raping they were they had like they were like animals when it comes to sex yeah they had like whole sections you don't accuse otters or you know yeah you wouldn't see like a dog's fucking and be like oh man that dog's

a rapist true same way but like if pirates are fucking yeah i mean that's part of the program yeah well they had peg boy that's what peg boys come from yeah they would have little boys that would have this fact i should have counted a stick up their butt yeah so they they didn't like not just rape they had like people head stash they had i mean sex slaves basically yeah but yeah that was that was no the pirates i descend from which is all about treasure adventure it was like johnny depp basically is my ancestry except they had him johnny depp didn't have him johnny depp had a little mean to his wife but he didn't have him he wasn't false true stanhope false exactly stanhope yeah

me too man stanhope stood by his man on that he did stanhope's a loyal dog uh buccaneers found this out what is it so uh the spanish owned most of haiti they owned haiti they got out of there when they found out uh there was gold and mainland like in like south america they were more focused on that yeah in comes some French and British pirates. Come to this land that used to be inhabited by Spanish. So there's cattle roaming around, wild cattle. So the way they made money, these pirates, they would shoot and kill wild cattle, smoke the meat, sell it. Smoked meat is known as bucan.

There you go. So everybody just started calling them buccaneers. How about that now you learned something so they were pirates but they resorted to selling smoked meat yeah while they were i mean yeah fucking that's a better life than being a shitty pirate than boarding somebody's ship on a rope still do that that's still people's lives they just pirates yeah beef jerky so if you're if you're a thief in water you're a pirate or or just like an absolute napster true either way

yeah i guess if you take well i guess pirates aren't just thieves like if you're a pirate it's like it's full smash and grab 24 7 you're like a murderer thief pirates are pretty liar i'd assume very honorable but yeah your people had them i'm so glad that my ancestry is filled with only people that were right. How so? We just never fucked up. What was your Ancestry.com scores? What did they tell you? You think I'm giving my DNA to the government?

Please. They already have mine, obviously. You think I'm a blockhead? They already have mine, dude. How's your ears? I was curious. I was curious. No, I never did any of that. mine, dude. How's it going? I was curious. I was curious. No, I never did any of that.

Yeah, well. My family should have, though. We claimed 100% Irish for a long time. And my uncle was like, no, Gillis is Scottish. We're like, what? What the fuck? Not that one. Yeah, dude.

We did it. We finally got one. We got it in. I that was great episode how cool was that though lamar just you know i'm not through to my own horn but i have been practicing mindfulness how fucking chill was i the whole time when i found out the sound was missing i was just like i was like lamar either the sound exists or it doesn't either way no big bro you know who definitely didn't care me i was i was almost fuming and working as hard as not to bend a fork. No.

I literally got that news. Dude, I clicked it and was just like, too bad. Oh, well, let that one die. Yeah, that was a good one to die. It wasn't even like, it just, it wasn't fun. We didn't say anything bad. It just wasn't fun. Yeah, it wasn't funny.

I didn't have fun. We just sat here. I left and I was just like, ugh. Just talked about bullshit. We kind of hit all the main points today. Yeah. We covered it. Just fucking.

That's probably what we should do is usually record one. Be like, Oh fuck. We missed it. And then just take all the good parts of that one and carry on to them. You know, just freestyle it. Anytime we redid an episode,

it was better. Sure. That we just get better every time. Yeah. did an episode it was better sure that we just get better every time yes i won elbows on the table no elbows up elbow your elbow that's great that's great twister wrist i won dude you gotta beat le meridien in order for me to give you a match true that was error that was that was a win big win i was there dude I was just I was kidding I was laughing the whole time dude I was laughing the whole time watch the tape

I was laughing no Phil beats Phil guaranteed would have beat me yeah it's a tough one true it's a tough one to concede

losing an arm wrestling to like a 65 year old man yeah well you gotta you can't beat him man you gotta let him have that yeah you gotta let him have that dude alright

what's the alternative like train and just dominate your am. Yeah, you got to let him have that, dude. All right. What's the alternative? Like train and just dominate your dad? It's what you have to do to become great. True that. True. Thank you, guys. What you got coming up? Thank you for listening.

I'll be in Indianapolis tomorrow. What? St. Louis, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Oh, yeah. And I think I just booked San Diegogo you're being dago i'll be in american comedy company that plays fucking rules dude i graced the stage before you grace it i was out in california for a little bit of pleasure and i did an open mic out there place fucking these awesome yeah that's where i'm gonna be you want to come for a weekend in july

can you take a look i can't swing this july there's no way fucking soft ass i can't bro leave your kid abandon your child i can't i can't i need i need that kid to be walking and eating like solid food first this is fucked up because you know it happened to me place rules though it happened to me but it's funny to think of dalia giving out dates on his last podcast you know i mean like what do you got coming up it's like this weekend i'll be at that like will you yeah well are they taking it off netflix because that was i'm being mean and i'm doing exactly what i criticized i would be before which is delighting in another man's downfall i'm not i'm not this is like pirates hearing about another guy getting eaten by a shark it's like we're out here dude

we are pirates you keep figuring that like i'm gonna replace this with a sick ass blackbeard yeah we're done with governments dude it's a sick ass black beard we're done with governments dude we're done we're done I fully support that this is pirate shop we'll fold that up

properly and like put it in the closet we'll definitely refold it exactly how it was sure we'll give it a million crease fold yeah

yeah we're putting a pirate flag dude you're 100% right that way I can get my picture of Santa Maria in frame because that's kind of bothering me it's not in frame no it's nice to have a watch over us um all right thank you guys adios