Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 311- U.S.A. 2.0

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

Matt's in something of a patriotic rapture after watching both the D and R NC's. Shane is a man on the move with many places to be. Point being, the D.A.W.G.Z. are busy beavers and yet still find that time to rip some fresh naughty pods for the world. Topix include: NHL refs Mic'd up, The award-winning documentary Plandemic, Cuties and a bunch of more stuff that's awesome!!

hey shane how's the audio it's yeah thumbs up again it's fantastic thumbs up again this was plug and play now that we had we had to have people come down from dad meat incorporated come down tim came down and blessed us because lamorp is failing us yeah very thin ice damn that t-shirt you're wearing come on let's let's get right into it what's going on the thing's fucking awesome usa 2.0 usa 2 USA 2.0, bro? USA 2.0. Go ahead and tell me your talking points here. I mean, they're not even talking points, dude. The whole idea is that, you know, I'm just trying to remobilize, re-energize the American

soul. Free healthcare. Step one. Phil's already out. Personal data dividend. He gets free healthcare. My dad gets angry about healthcare. Dude, we were just watching.

So I was watching the RNC before you came here on my phone. Oh, shit. Was that last night? No, it was live now. They just re-nominated Michael R. Pence. Thank God. Re-nominated Donald J. Trump. But they were all in there.

Part of the thing they were talking about, the Democrats, and they were like, and then, you know, we are at a crossroads. They're right. I never thought I'd say that, but they're right. We're at a crossroads. We're about to start labeling, like, the things that she doesn't right we're at a crossroads we're about to she starts labeling like the things that she doesn't want

she's like and we're about to give what eliminate private healthcare give people who don't belong like where they said basically immigrants we're gonna give immigrants healthcare

and people are like boo it's like dude you guys don't have healthcare what are you fucking doing it's like fuck though they can't get it

it's like it's crazy they've really they have done a great job of proper propagandizing just everybody to be like fuck free health care dude what am i gay you just call me gay i'm trying to pay and then everyone goes to hospital and like 80 000 bucks and they're like this is crazy man you're like yeah we can set up for free like fuck you dude don't ever say that again I'd rather stay my whole life in medical debt I'm in debt

cause I broke my leg on a bike I'm in debt for America dude I brought up to my dad I got in a fight with Phil like yesterday not a fight

cause I was just like just tell me why dude why he's like guys go to those other countries Shane you sit in a waiting room for three days. I'm like, what are you talking?

You've never been to England. I was like, every Western country has it. He's like, yeah, like who? Name one. Canada? I was like. That's their talking points is just like, France? Fucking France, dude.

What did you say? They just do sign language for gay. Yeah. Who, France? Fucking France, dude. What did you say? They just do sign language for gay. Yeah. Who, France? Come on, man. Yeah, but that country's gay. Dude. So, all right.

Step one, healthcare. You lost half the country's vote. Yeah, dude. It's not even about that, dude. This is about unifying the people. I hear you. Personal data dividend. Come on. Come on. I enjoy that. You're about unifying the people. I hear you. Personal data dividend. Come on.

Come on. I enjoy that. Getting paid for your data. That's exactly right. That could replace. Everyone says, oh, fucking, you know what's done? Social Security. It's like, all right, we'll get paid for the fact that you're giving your location away

24-7. I like it. Legal psychedelics. Here's where you're going to start losing a lot of the country. I'm not trying to win, dude. I'm just trying to put something in the brain of America, dude. It's not about winning. I hear you.

I'm all about winning. That's the difference. Nah, not me, bro. I'm like Trump. How about how you feel about the last one? Unity? How do you feel about unity, dude? I love unity.

Come on. Come on. We need to unite whites. Dude. On the back, no more drug war, no more two-party system, no more culture wars, and no more partisan propaganda. Yeah, dude. God damn. Come on. It says it all. That's what we're talking about, dude. more two-party system no more culture wars and no more partisan propaganda yeah dude god damn come on it says that's what we're talking about dude if you don't have if you don't have writing on

the back of the shirt dude you're kind of a bitch it's over you don't have writing on the front and back of your shirt you're a fucking pussy we decided that this week at the racetrack yeah it's pretty simple i got connecting this is a jersey t on the back of mine he immediately got hurt the first time i wore this this is the second time i've worn it what's jersey t it's where it says the number of jersey name on the back it's jersey t yeah i don't have right now i'm not trying to mobilize a specific political thing i'm i i do dude i was watching the democratic convention in a little bit oh my god they have to stop with the two parties dude all it is is they have these two little groups. Did we talk about the DNC at all on this?

We didn't talk about them yet, dude. Oh, my God. They have two little groups, and all it is is they give half the country the illusion that it's all about to happen for you guys, and they get a little thing where it's like, we need to let gay people order wedding cakes, and we've got to pass this bill. And everyone's like, yeah. And it's like, oh, and the end line of the bill is like, oh, and also give Africa's mineral rights to my boy. And everyone's like yeah and it's like oh and the the end line of the bill is like and also give uh africa's mineral rights to my boy and everyone's like oh yeah whatever fine fine give people these cakes and it's like they keep everyone on the

verge of being like it's all about to happen and they just go dump dump dump back and forth and like there's a general direction everything's going in and it's just like not you know yeah the people aren't aren't about to win from like we did it we won and like oh those guys fucked up all of our progress remember that progress we made they ruined it let's get it back guys yeah the dnc was the the convention was just dude it looked i showed lamere the uh something which i'm gonna call it for what it's worth something happening here song it looks like he was saying it looks like a tim and eric sketch it for what it's worth. Something's happening here. Song. It looks like he was saying, it looks like a Tim and Eric sketch. It's crazy.

It does, dude. The, the fucking, my favorite part was the end of Biden's speech. He was like getting fired up. He was like, and I'll be a tough commander in chief and I'll support the troops.

And if you don't like, he like, that was definitely, they were like, all right, you got to show that you can be crazy at the end. And he's like, I'm fucking nuts.

And then at the end, they just started playing like, because the DNCs, all their music was like hip hop, which is very funny. They had like, thank you so much, Common and John Legend. The Hamilton. That was so powerful, what you guys just said. And then, so he gives this speech,

and then it ended like, like all this like, you know. Biden. Yeah, Biden. Biden. Biden. Yeah, Biden. Biden. Biden. Yeah, it's. I'm the oldest white guy you've ever known.

I'm so fucking old, dude. Also, I'm nuts. Give me the codes. I'll go crazy. And then it played like G-Common on the way out. It was crazy, dude. Fuck, man. Yeah, it's pretty.

What'd you think of Julie Louis-Dreyfus? Did you get to watch her in action? A little bit. Dude, they hosted... She roasted the fuck out of Trump, dude. Damn, she roasted Pence, dude. Or as they like to call him, Ponce. God, his ass.

God, his gay ass. I love that just because they're on the left, they're allowed to be like, yeah, I heard that guy's a fucking gaybo. Isn't he gay and the that guy's a fucking gay, bro. Isn't he gay? And the other guy's a retard. Anyway, we're allowed to say that because they're Republicans. We're allowed to say that because we're all black now.

You're like, wait, what's going on? Yeah, we wore dashikis. Hi, I'm Julia Lourise Dreyfuss, and I'm black. I'm blacker than hell. I'm blacker than hell. I'm blacker than hell. Joe Biden. I'm blacker than hell. I'm blacker than hell, and I'm nuts. Yeah, dude. My boy Yang.

Yang dropped the ball. Did you see the Yang man? I saw him bitch out, dude. Why did they do it like the VMAs? I don't know. They had a VMA for Biden. Coming up, legendary performance from Joe Biden. Coming up, legendary performance from Joe Biden.

He just recited a speech from Saving Private Ryan and everyone's like, come on, don't pay attention to that. That's what they should have done. They should have

green-screened him into all the war movies like Black Hawk Down and let him give war movie speeches. I would have been like, fucking, do it.

Truthfully, I didn't mind his speech. I didn't even see it. I don't want to sound gay like France to the listeners. Okay, like Canada? I'm not like Canada right now. Although I've been really thinking about it because I've got hockey fever.

What was his key? Canada rules. Yeah, for sure. Shout out Canada. Yeah, we took down the Canadians. We've been shitting on Canada a lot throughout history. We did shit on Canada. Canada rules. throughout history. We did shit on Canada. Canada rules.

Pretty hard. Canada's just what happens when white dudes are rocking. Do you think so? Yeah. You think Canada's fucking white dudes? It's white dudes rocking. I guess so. I mean, I don't know.

Hockey is just, they're like, oh, we like beer and a little hockey. Yeah, Canada is. A couple of fights. You can have a fight with your buds. Canada is a pretty white country. Canada is just white dudes rocking. It's a pretty white country isn't it i think it's i think they're getting diverse a little and they don't like it dude really the conservative canadians dude how do they were like hey hey get these damn you know i'm not gonna say it i'm not gonna get them out

of here i'm being polite about it hey man don't don't even joke about that stuff i'm gonna be polite i'm gonna be polite about how racist i am right now to these damn inuits hey yeah i was watching uh i thought we saw canada was a very tolerant place i've always heard like if you go there as a black person they're like it's like it's like no one even notices it's really chill i mean they also said that about nazi germany really yeah all the black dudes in the olympics came back like place rules fucking germany is the best everybody over there was cool as fuck pretty nice uh but no i was just watching uh i was watching this is the this is a video this is a homework assignment for the listener go watch NHL refs

mic'd up they're the coolest dudes on earth they might be the funniest guys on earth they fucking spaz dude NHL refs spaz the whole time

they're on the ice they're like hey he's being a fucking asshole get him the fuck out of here you want some too get the fuck out of here it's just white dudes rocking dude

that's why they let them fight like a mad dude in the NBA they would never let them fight yeah because it's white dudes reffing yeah they're not just gonna sit back and let black dudes ball out like that true just fist fight like that they're like break it up you're all going to jail for this and they jail they're like drop the gloves dude settle it come on by the refs by skating over like beat his fucking ass they do he's a fucking asshole there's one there's one clip of this dude that's in the crease trying to jam it in, and then he starts getting his ass kicked, and the ref comes over. He's like, pay the tax, Bob.

Of course they're going to kick your ass in there. You know what you're doing. It's the shit. Go watch it. Hockey has its own culture. You think they won't let people in basketball fight? Because why? Because they think the refs will start arresting them?

The citizens arrest them. The refs will start arresting, the citizens arrest them. The refs will start trying to... Yeah. Yeah, that's the same reason NFL doesn't allow it. Yeah. Guaranteed they used to. Yeah, why do they let people in hockey fight? It's pretty crazy.

Because that's part of the game. It's the culture of the game. It's the game, dude. Yeah. Which does rule. I think that's the culture of every game is to get in a fight. If you play basketball outside.

Yeah, I know. If you play Scrabble, the culture is going to be like, yeah, fuck you, dude. Dude. Toadies is not a word. Anytime you play pickup basketball, somebody almost gets in a fight. Like, fuck you. That's not a foul. And they'll start like.

Oh, pussy. It's like, you're fouling me. Yeah. Like, you're clearly reaching. But yeah, man, that's too fucking funny. But yeah, but that was the just watching the uh i'm so excited the republican convention it's pretty so far again they just nominated michael r pence first of all yeah we got to get names we got to get jobs where they say our first fucking our whole names like that this is my co-host shane p gillis m what michael i thought your

pageant was m shane michael gillis shane m gillis matthew j mccosker yep yours is better shane m gillis shane change your middle name you can get your little shane ms gillis actually michael sebastian what's your middle name'm going to get my middle name legally changed. Shane. Matt and Shane McCusker. Yeah, Matt and Shane Secret. Change your name to Shane Secret. Matt and Shane Secret McCusker. Dude, that would be so fucking sick.

Yeah, that's the America 2.0 project, dude. I'm not really advocating very specific policies. I'm trying to reanimate the soul of Americans, dude. Just, dude, it's, the funniest part of it is, like, remember net neutrality? Yes. Remember how it was like, sign this online thing. We can stop this.

And it's like, they just went to the place where they do that. And like, everyone in favor? Yeah, cool, thanks. Bye. So that's the project now. Nice. How sick would it be for dogs to show up in local town halls and be like, fuck that.

We got dogs out there. Dogs are out there, dude. I just ran into one at a rest stop on the way here. Did you really? Stopped. This guy was like, Shane. I was like, what up, bro? He's in scrubs.

Shout out to that hero. Thank you, hero. Shout out to that first responder hero. Yeah, dude. That needs to happen. Front line worker. Needs to happen. Essential dogs, dude.

I'm going to try to locate the actual pressure points of the u.s government and send the dogs like i don't care what you vote for just go in there sounds like it sounds like you're asking for some malicious to rise up i mean pretty much yeah i don't give a fuck it dude this is bullshit i'm dude watching having to sit here and have your whole political system all the choices you think are important in the hands of basically like a shitty saturday night live on the democrat side then i just watched the republican thing that's a noel dude sorry my bad r.i.p dude that was one year ago sorry coming up on the anniversary i'm sorry dare you fade of the country rests in this fucking speech dude i know but dude that that was crazy

it's not no that was crazy. It's not Noah. That was fucking crazy. Remember last week when I was talking about how people are in their heads being like, there's something happening here. They literally sang that song. Of course they did.

The guy had a cape, dude. And was spinning around in a cape being like, and they're like, saying hooray for our side. And they spin around. It's just like, it's fucking crazy. it's insane that people just

watch like yeah it's fucking bullshit yeah it's like nah dude this shit this shit has to come to an end it's it's too much man yeah and everybody's so blind to how corny their shit is like i watched it was funny because i watched the democratic convention and then put on cnn and they were like that was joe biden's best speech ever incredible what an amazing night yeah wow look at the fireworks afterwards that's so cool to do that like drive-in style afterwards it's like so cool and then i put on fox and they were like what the fuck was that dude how gay was that shit like come on how dumb do they think we are and then the republican convention will be they just they literally cor corniest shit possible.

Dude, it was like a student council meeting. Like, the permanent member of the RNC speak nay, nay for yay, yay for nay. Okay, pass, yes. West Virginia, yay. The delegates. It was funny. The delegates from Walmart, yay. Motion pass.

Senator, permanent leader of the RNC. Dude, and they all talk like Trump now. All the dudes that go on there are like, let's have a little fun here. What do you guys say? They'll breathe in. The mayor witnessed it. Really? Just very... Breathing like him and doing that shit? Yeah. Just trying to add that cool

pep and stuff to it. That makes sense. That's how most accents start. True. That's actually how every accent starts. Somebody that you think is cool says something, and you're like, I'm going to take that. I started saying sweet because of Cartman. Sweet, sweet, sweet. But yeah, man.

Yeah, he's basically there, Cartman. For sure. If you were like 70 and there was just a dude going around like, fuck it, everybody would be like's my favorite that's my favorite character biden biden's funny he dude's gonna be funny if biden wins personally it'll be good for my life yeah career-wise because you know people will stop being so canadian yeah true but he'll also still be retarded so it'll still be just it'll be just as funny i think it might be funnier honestly if biden wins because again it'll just volley back

and forth they'll be like oh remember that time when obama ruined the economy slash maybe built the best one ever then trump and took it over slash might have built the best one ever biden just ruined slash made it awesome again People are just going to be like, okay. But watching him do fireside chats is going, dude, four years of that guy locked in. Although he might die, dude. Dude, it's zero question. That guy in the next four years is going to be at least incapacitated. He's at least going to have a stroke and not be able to work.

I mean, and then what i was joking about this weekend i was like everybody's gonna be like oh my god like imagine how the whole country's gonna have to pretend to be shocked when the president dies yeah like the news is gonna come on and be like breaking the president of the united states if they kept them in like a you know when kings die and they're getting a bed and like a blanket if They just kept them for four years in like a bed just kind of like, Kamala, I trust you. I trust you. You're like – The best part of the DNC, they had this lady came on and she was like –

Is there all reading off of the teleprompter? The one lady came on and was like, and I just want to give it up for my beautiful sister, Kamala Harris. And if they had somehow like sent that to like Julia Dreyfuss and she was like, I just want to give it up for my beautiful sister oh fuck this isn't for me this isn't mine my beautiful sister kamala harris and it's like weren't you guys all calling her like a fucking executioner yeah yeah no i stand by kamala and i love her track record in baltimore you like what she did i like what she did lock them up that's did. Lock them up. That's true. That's Kamala, dude. That's me and Kamala on the same page. Lock them up.

We need to incarcerate as many African Americans as possible. Thank you, Kamala Harris. That's your ticket. I'm going to get a shirt. I'm going to get an American 3.0. You can do whatever you want. Lock them up. By the way, you can write whatever you want on it.

Increase the jail population. Increase the military industry complex that we have, dude. It rules. We need to go back to Iraq. That's America 3.0. Get back in there. Ruffles and feathers. For sure, dude.

That's what I'm saying. We got to go over the Middle East. We got to bomb. Corporations need zero tax cuts. I'm going to give my dad one. Zero taxation. Fuck that. My dad would be like, let's just bomb the whole Middle East and start over.

And everyone's like, whoa. Yeah, dad policy would definitely be like, France is gay. That's our number one diplomatic measure. War on France. War on France just by calling them gay. Turn the Middle East to glass. Start over. They ought to do that, Shane.

Damn, I was in Phil's ass, too. He got a cold? Oh, yeah heard I heard him He was a motherfucker about it Dude we got pizza Stuck his hands all over the pizza I was like You're such a fucking dickhead

Took a bite of a sub And put it back What a dick Chaos When was this last night? Two nights ago yeah So Saturday night You guys had pizza party?

Yes We had some pizza Pizza night is usually Friday you guys had pizza yes we had some pizza pizza night's usually friday night pizza night was well we had friends over you guys bombed pizza night back for us and cooked pizza for saturday so that i stayed home and then argued with my dad classic saturday night would you saturday night fever i'm like you're being an asshole you're sick dude what if you have it yeah really, really? Just go to your room. And he was like, you fuck. Get out of my house.

So he touched all the za. He touched all the za. What the fuck? Why was he doing that? I think he was drunk. Was he really? I think he had a couple of drinks. And he was like, you're being an asshole.

It's a cold, Shane. I was like, even if it's just a cold, stop touching all the food. Yeah, this is the time. Especially, colds aren't really welcome right now. Colds are not welcome. I was like, if I get's just a cold, stop touching all the food. Yeah, this is a time, especially, colds aren't really welcome right now. Colds are not. I was like, if I get a cold, I'm fucked. I'm going to have to literally cancel September. Yeah, I think.

If I get a cold and can't fly, that'll be. I think they took Spud's temperature. He got his haircut. I think they took his temp. So, yeah, dude, you could knock at your haircut. You could go up to like 99.9 with like a nasty cold. The nasty coronavirus, because colds are coronaviruses. Excuse me.

How about that? I just watch. I'm not going to lie. I watch Plandemic. I'm not going to lie. I watched it. How do you feel? I'm not going to lie.

Did it get you? I mean, it's well, John Oliver was like, you know, he was like, it's a hodgepodge of conspiracy theories. But I don't know, man. I mean, it's look, I don't know if it's the ipso facto truth on everything, but they hit some points where – Yes! I just looked. While you were talking, I looked straight down like I was.

It just put it in my head. You started talking. I was like, yes. I realized. I was like, dude, I might be loving on the spectrum. Well, it is a continuum. So we all are slightly autistic. Yeah.

We're all a little gay. That guy with his own shirt. We're all a little gay. You're making your own political tease is the power move. People are like, can I get one? No. No. It's only mine.

So John Oliver was shitting on Planet Earth. He was being like, you know. I have a view. He was like, it's a, I have a view. Sorry. He was like, it's a hodgepodge of conspiracy theories. And apparently they emailed him. This was their proof. They were like, they emailed John Oliver.

Like, actually, here's all of our stuff we found. We have to email the news. Let's email John Oliver. Well, they were like, we sent him an email. So, fuck him. I was like, all right. But they had a couple things that came out that i thought was pretty good in terms of like the am the american medical association how they kind of put a

stranglehold on certain types of healing modality like used this is what happened my chiropractor was telling me you know why chiropractors hours i think they're off they're closed every tuesday one day of the week their offices are always closed because the ama they got like ama was i guess pressured from the pharmaceutical companies i think in the 50s and 60s to like shut out any kind of holistic medicine junk. Because, you know, according to the documentary, the pharmaceuticals were petroleum based. And, you know, Mr. Rockefeller was like, yo, this is what we're going to do. Fuck the other bullshit. So there was chiropractors who would go to jail.

If you were come out, I think, in the 50s and 60s and come out and say like hey you can actually heal your body with food and like eating right they would put you in jail they would they considered it medical malpractice which was now they're saying like turns out uh food's not that bad turns out if you uh just swallow fucking pills it's kind of bad for you but uh if you guys tried out broccoli now broccoli you can safely prescribe food dude it's people go to it's funny because like you go to medical school for however long it is i don't know eight years and i hopefully i'm not wrong on that but you go to medical school and they never ever really ever talk about diet and it's like my dad my dad reversed i swear to god they don't fucking talk about it who told you

that doctors if you watch if you watch anything on doctors they don't talk about anytime you go to fucking like the uh the doctor for a checkup dude yeah but where are you hearing this from any doctor i've ever been to they never talked about diet talked about diet in in medical school i dated a girl who went to medical school they don't fucking talk about diet really they talk about it for there's a book called how not to die and it's from a medical doctor who talks just about like eating vegetables eating plants and he was like dude they never they mentioned it i think like very very very briefly i bet they have to take nutrition as a class it's yeah but nutrition like what the food pyramid from five years ago like eat nine fucking loaves of bread a day and eat fucking fats and sweets maybe that's what it was they would be like okay the fda would be like here's the food pyramid and

you'd be like check it out and you doctor you'd be like yep bread i know what bread is they did never they weren't doing rigorous scientific analysis of food and how that affects people rather they would just do these petroleum-based uh pharmaceuticals so really it was like you know say this thing could like dude my dad had type 2 diabetes he like stopped eating meat stopped eating sugar started eating a lot of vegetables reversed his sugar down so back then the ama were like, yo, you can do that with just food, they'd be like, yup, jail. Like, no, you can only take medicine. So they were, like, showing shit like that and how people can, like, apparently you can patent a strain of virus now, which they were saying is, like, illegal to do because you can't patent a strain of virus.

You can't patent something that's not man-made. Like, you can't patent something that's not man-made. You can't patent something that occurs in nature. Yeah, didn't Fauci and Gates both own the patent to the casing of the coronavirus or whatever it's called? Something like that. There's something like that. Something like that. There was a bill that was passed where people in the government weren't allowed to own, what the fuck is it called, patents on medical stuff. So that way, if you were a governor governor you couldn't shape things around your patent and i think like a couple years ago they like did a bill so like no if you're in government you'd totally be able to have patents

and that's not a conflict of interest at all so you know they went into that stuff which dude my whole point is like you can watch it and you know this is wrong this is right blah blah that shouldn't be it's banned dude it's like you can't find it i went to watch it it was like a malware attack i was saying i saw that you showed me that i was like yeah i guess i'll take malware for a pandemic watched it was fine so like yeah it's to me it's bizarre that you can't watch pandemic and then they're going to try to push that fucking french pedo film so you're telling me i can't watch pandemic but netflix is allowing me to watch fucking 11 year olds shake their ass cuties yeah

that's that's my whole issue with plandemic is like you know whatever you can fact try to do like all the fact check this and that you know who's gonna be unhappy about that what the muslim community about that's what cuties is about it's about three 11 year old sluts twerking yeah three 11 year olds that are on a twerk team. That are facing, yeah. Which I didn't deduce that from looking at the flyer or the picture. It was literally in the description of the show was it's a twerking team. Yeah.

This one girl wants to defy her family's traditions and join them. Her family's tradition, they're devout Muslims. They're Senegalese. Aren't they from like Senegal? Yeah, I think she's an African immigrant in France. Yeah. Just breaking loose. traditions and join them her family's tradition they're they're devout muslims senegalese aren't they from like senegal yeah i think she's an african immigrant in france yeah just breaking loose she's taking taking the hijab off and twerking yeah in a bikini just unstitching her vagina fucking twerking no matt yeah but in the description it's like exploring her femininity yeah it's like damn dude yeah we'll tell her It's like, damn, dude. Yeah, well, wait.

Check in. Why don't you wait? Check in in about five. Hold off. Five, six, seven years on that one, dude. Because, I mean, they do. So they had a, what was the show Drake did with all the sluts in high school? The hot sluts in high school?

Yeah. Euphoria. Euphoria. That was like, I remember being like, this is a little much high school. This is weird. I mean, dude, all those shows are about high school like you know vampire diary all those weird soapy shows it's always vampire that's always your there's a lot of money made still you know awesome shows like vampire diaries it's actually a good show you should check it out it's horrible dude there's

a show fuck i wish i remember the name of it britney's watching another show right now smallville smallville rules Smallville rules. Smallville is fucking sick. I know you should. And Smallville keeps it PG. Just make out sessions. Dude, what was the vampire show? The originals?

Oh my god. Was that the one I watched with you guys? Yes. No, no, no. That was a movie. That was a movie. Yeah, what was that? That was fuck. I can't remember.

Holy fuck. That was like The Covenant, I think it's called. Dude, that was so funny. The Covenant was wild. I think it's called The Covenant. It's so funny. There was a movie she's watching right now. I can't remember's called. Dude, that was so funny. The Covenant was wild. I think it's called The Covenant. It's so funny. There was a movie she's watching right now. I can't remember the name of it, dude, or show.

They're not vampires, but it's like a crime. It's like a soapy teenage crime show. But it's like, dude, it's like all of these. They're like obviously. You know when people have rich face? Yeah. You know there's like poor face where you're like sucking in. You have rich face.

You have a castan chin. You're just like. It's all white people with rich face. Yeah. But they're in gang. You ever see Francis Ellis? Who's that? He's a friend of mine.

He worked for Barstool. He got canceled from Barstool. Okay, yeah. He has the biggest rich face. He has rich face. It's fucking insane. It's like huge dimple chin. It's like if Blizz was jacked.

Like if Blizz gained weight, he'd have rich face. You have to have like a dimple, like very prominent, almost like otherworldly cheekbones. And you're just kind of like, Jesus Christ, dude. What is going on here? Dude, it's so funny. You feel like your great-great-grandfather woke up every morning and like put like a cold towel on his face like American Psycho. You eventually, your epigenetic shift and you get rich face. your epigenetic shift and you get rich face or if you're like if they spend like time just stainfully scowling at people being like you wait come out you come out of your mother just like

rich face dude yeah it's just guys with rich face who are like supposedly in drug gangs and it's dude it's so fucking funny so come out and be like the serpents are on this territory now dude it's it's the craziest. I'll have to fucking, I'll try to remember what it's called. It's so, so bad. I hate it. Dude, so they have drugs, but their drugs are literally packaged.

It's people who are writing about drugs and gangs who are completely coming up from their imagination. And they'll be like, where's the Rastaz? And it'll be like pixie sticks. Dude, it's so fucking funny. I wish I remember. It's like, the serpents have spoken. Oh, the worst the worst is when the gang's like all white dudes with

beanies and their nicknames like the serpents tv tough guys dude yeah if you watch enough of like uh yeah like insurance break like or like uh home alarm systems where somebody like kicks open the door it's just like a white dude's like come on man dude they're they're breaking in he's he's going if it's a white dude breaking into your house, he's not running from an alarm. You think he's... White dude's breaking into your house. He's going to cut your family apart, dude. He's not going to be deterred.

Hey, we talked about that before. Showing one of those things where he gets past and things beeping and he's just stabbing the wife. Just to the alarms. You bitch. You fucking bitch. Look what you made me do. There's a whole genre of just like hot guys they're just hot guy shows and they're usually set in high school but just it's just

like you were saying it's like we're the bad guys but it's a guy with like perfectly manicured and like scissor trimmed hair like coming down to here with a beanie he's like i've been trouble my whole life it's so fucking funny yeah it's good i enjoy it yeah but dude that's my like i i had to jump through hoops to watch plandemic which again it's like it's it's good i enjoy it yeah but dude that's my like i i had to jump through hoops to watch plandemic which again it's like it's it's gonna kill people if they watch it it's like no we fucking won't and it's like you're telling me i i for some reason can't watch there can't be a counter narrative to what to do about coronavirus like that can't exist in this country people being like well what about this you're like turn that off yeah there should be

you should be allowed to present other arguments right now because whatever the plan is isn't working yeah we got fucked up from this thing i think yeah everybody else says they're fine yeah wuhan was having a fucking pool party you see that what the fucking wuhan was having a party down like a summer concert they like it was a bunch of dudes on like rafts in a fucking pool party. You see that? What? Fucking Wuhan was having a party. They had like a summer concert. It was a bunch of dudes on like rafts in a wave pool. Rubbing it in. Wuhan had fun.

Dude, wait, where did you see this? I saw it on the internet. I wasn't there, but it seemed legit. So China's just Disney World right now. China's having a fun time.

That's the version we're getting in America. Be like, oh, by the news in China, they're all just having fun. But a good time. If Donald Trump wasn't president, we could be having fun like China right now. But you guys have to ruin it with this goddamn pandemic documentary. Yeah.

Yeah, man. It's fucking ridiculous. But they talked about that, too, about how just we were doing that same kind of research here, got shifted to Wuhan. Oh, that's what I was talking about before. So apparently they're saying, and again, I just watched this, but they're saying that people have taken out patents on viral strains, but you can't patent something that occurs in nature. The only way you can patent it if you altered it genetically alter it genetically if you alter a virus genetically and patent it it's a bioweapon so like you know i don't know again if it's any of it's true but it seems pretty nuts in terms of the uh i don't know why these dudes get to do this shit for 40 years why they

get to be in charge like they're talking about dr fauci and they're saying like dude's been around for fucking ever yeah and they talked about bill gates and the kids in india how he did apparently like all the vaccines we get there's just like for every vaccine you get there's probably like five dead indian or african people that like they tested on and apparently and like this these were people from the indian government being like yeah we kicked bill gates the fuck out of here dude he was wild apparently he came in and like was just dude the poorest people was just like clonk clonk and hitting him up and he was like we got people got fucked up from it but then again look there's the other you know i'm always again sorry if i'm

a free thinker but everyone's always trying to sue hard as fuck and if you go to like a poor if you go to like a poor place in america like dude i was at a charter school the parents try to sue the school like every fucking day in philly constantly trying to sue the fucking school so i i guess if you start shooting people shit in india that maybe like the poorest people ever maybe some people are going to be like oh yeah my son was like limping he never was limping before i don't think you can sue the old like limp into work and be like i i fucking broke my elbow at work i don't think you can sue there true i don't think they can sue bill gates the poor i don't think they can sue Bill Gates. I don't think the poorest person in India... Remember that show Factory? Have you been injured

by a vaccine? Did an American billionaire come over here and turn your knees backwards? You are entitled to one sack of rice. Yeah, they fucking... Did you watch that?

Remember that show Factory factory it was on amazon it was like a documentary of uh just indian people working in a factory i did see that yeah that's what they're up with so they're not suing anybody those working conditions were like yeah everybody got their arms sucked into a machine every hour like a 10 minute break like i go outside walk it off that was like the hardest thing i've watched that was fucking wild to just be like man this is how people are living yeah i don't think there's a thing on amazon right now it's called baraka mortal kombat character but it's a silent film and they just film like shit from around the world and starts out like in the remotest villages and you're watching that stuff

and goes all the way up to industrial and there's no wow just films people doing stuff then it goes up until like industrial stuff and people in like subways one of the things in there is how we do chickens and just it's just fucking little chicks flying through conveyor belts getting spit into these things dude it's fucking nuts the chicks is brutal it was hard put them into like fucking like uh like wood chippers yeah these like turbine that just grading well they were sorting them this was even before oh it was they were sorting well they were sorting them this was even before oh it was they were sorting them they were sorting them so they could eventually get spit into their little boxes where they would sit as like a hen but they're they're just go and the little conveyor

goes it's yeah going from like they they basically had like hunter-gatherer societies and like slowly film different scenery and different like things going on things people were doing and then it goes into like just people coming out of a subway you know dude it's pretty fucking cool that is cool i'd like to watch that it's pretty tight were you high on pot when you saw that because that would affect me i'll probably re-watch it if i was a doper and watch that no i wasn't i was a doper at the track big time i was a doper at the track we went to williams weekend. Oh, man. It was pretty sick.

That was pretty sick. That was fun as fuck. Man, how good is it? Everyone I tell it to, they're always like, hillbilly, you're fucking red. And it's like, dude, it's... No, it's cool as fuck. Watching those fucking...

Standing outside drinking and watching dudes crash. It fucking rules. Saw a car flip. Saw a car, yeah. Nobody died. That thing was wild. Nobody did die.

But it was at the same spot. Trying to get my money back. I was like, can I... Yeah, there's no... it was at the same spot. Trying to get my money back. I was like, can I? Yeah, were there no fatalities here? Can I get my money back? But yeah, it was pretty nuts. Dude, it's hard to explain how fast they go until you're standing in the middle and they blow by you. It's like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fucking awesome. The people watching, though, is. Oh. I was telling Matt, my house is basically like a frontier house. Yeah. We're like the edge of civilization dude dude you you you go into my backyard it's just cornfields and then you run into a dirt track and it's just literally it's literally that close it's full yeah you can hear

it from my house yeah uh and then it's cornfields and then you get to this track and it's like who the fuck are these dudes yeah who are these people of walmart and it's like, who the fuck are these dudes? Who are these dudes? It's the people of Walmart, dude. It's like the same thing around my parents' house. You go out there, it's, dude, you go out there, nice suburb, you're out doing your thing, hit the Walmart around there and it's like, they got a tunnel for you motherfuckers?

Like, where are you coming from? Yeah, like the Viet Cong. Yeah. Just pop up. Yeah, dude, it's crazy how Walmart is just like an aggregator but that that track was generate at walmart you think they just i don't think those are real people i think they just spawn out of walmart you think they're holograms i think they are that they that might be bill gates dude imagine when hologram technology gets so good there's there's like fake people going around

they're going to be able to start staging videos with hologram people the hologram technology is here the only thing we need now is like better uh be better able to power it because it's like it takes a lot of uh i think bandwidth or whatever you think they could just cgi it before they hologram a fake video it could have happened in public dude just have people paying what the fuck yeah hologram apparently is getting really really good and the funny thing about holograms if you were to uh i think if you were to block a little bit of like the signal it wouldn't like you know like it's not a projector where it would like cut off the person's head or like cut their body the person just gets smaller really fractals bro holograms

some say we live in a holographic universe for because of that holograms are made up where like it contains a million tiny little images and all the tiny little images make up a big one damn pretty crazy that's pretty neat pretty pretty neat i'd say that's pretty neat yeah so if you reduce it it doesn't like it's not a projector just you'd have a smaller little michael jackson you have a smaller tupac yeah you'd have a tiny tupac just that's all that's all the u.s. government's made. You have one pock. That's all the U.S. government's made so far. They're going to have Michael Jackson fight Tupac at the DNC. No, this is real.

I swear to God. Come on. I was making myself laugh that we're going to have to tear down that Michael Jackson statue from that music video. Where's the statue? Remember that music video where it's like a skyscraper-sized Michael Jackson statue? Yeah. That's going to be the last statue we have to tear down. It's going to be tough to tear down.

Because it's going to turn out that he did buttfuck kids. I think that's gonna be the last statue we have to tear down tough to tear down because it's gonna turn out that he did buttfuck kids i think yeah i think it's pretty unanimous our wedding dj asked us he goes you guys cool playing r kelly i said fire him up bro definitely you have to fire him up you must if you're getting married you must listen to him try to step in the name of love it's the chicago wedding too i mean we're not in chicago but a lot of chicagoans i'm not gonna disrespect them by canceling kelly yeah we have to step dude, but a lot of Chicagoans. I'm not going to disrespect them by canceling R. Kelly. Yeah, we have to step, dude. Step in the name of love. Dude, this is going to be awesome. But yeah, it's funny how you got to be like, what are you guys?

He's like, what kind of music do you like? Oh, Chicago. How's everybody like R. Kelly? Are we playing him? Or, you know, dude, it's pretty funny. Wow. I was like, fire up, Kells. Dude, he's just like, hell yeah.

Obviously, play almost exclusively Kells. I might, dude. It might just be. There'll definitely be a big flop. Rotate between Kelz and MJ please please I'm gonna have two DJs

one just plays Kelz one just plays MJ yeah then play like Bill Cosby like clips in between I'm a Bill Cosby impersonator be the MC

that would be so fucking sick do you take this how about a toast everyone's like nah nah nah chill bro he starts handing out we know that's how you got him before How about a toast? Everyone's like, no, no, no. Chill, bro.

He starts handing out. We know that's how you got them before. I'm going to have Bill Cosby waiters that just handle it like champagne with Altoids in them. People are like. Oh, man. Yeah, somebody should have slipped Bill Cosby some Mentos accidentally. Did he have bad breath? No, no.

When he puts it in the drink, it fucking explodes. That's a fun trick. It's a little prank we used to play on Bill. That's not a bad idea, dude. If you have a suspected date rapist... I might go undercover as a purveyor of date rape drugs

and it'll just be the chemical component of mentos distilled down into liquid. It's actually a pretty great idea. That would be awesome, dude. We know you're listening, FBI. You guys should do that.

Yeah, come on. Do that. Get fizzy fake roofies and give them out to perverts. Are you sure? LeMary, you'd be ruined. Oh, here's the goal, dude. Now we're on the topic. This is making me-

Talking perverts? I don't know if this is that funny, but- Come on. It was making me laugh all morning when I woke up. I just kept repeating it when I was getting in the shower because I was thinking about how certain crimes are named after the people that commit them, like a Ponzi scheme.

And then I was like, I wonder if it was the great Italian rapist Statutory. That's all. That's all I got. Statutory, no, she isn't too young. that's all that's all I got statutory no she isn't too young oh my god one of the great

rapists statutory oh fuck that's it that was actually funny because we were watching that's big bit that's fucking nice

statutory loves the young girls I was like look I got killer 20 seconds lined up for this podcast no statutory no he loves the young girls yeah I wonder if, look, I got killer 20 seconds lined up for this podcast. No, statutory, no. He loves the young girls.

Yeah, I wonder if they look at, like, Italians look at, like, the Renaissance. Like, the great rapist statutory. One of the old masters. We were talking about the RNC because they were, like, the lady was, like, hyping everybody on, like, you know, like, why the Republicans rule. And she's like, and we got one senate seat from the democrats in california which was unthinkable and everyone's like fuck yeah yeah finally dude and then she was like and then we got supreme court justices in such as brent cavanaugh and it's like you might know him from rape you might remember that guy

who beat the case we out here that's a. You know that guy who got accused of rape? We have him. It'd be funny if the Republican convention actually went black. If they were like, yo, we beat that fucking case, baby. Just talking shit. Every once in a while, somebody would square up in the audience. Yeah, RNC was not looking very diverse. RNC should do that.

Like for rappers, for their music. Lil Boosie would already do it. Yeah, Lil Boosie. He's like, I am. Just crazy shit. R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C. What do you know about me? Yeah, they should pander.

They should pander as hard. They should pander ridiculously hard. Well, they're also like, I was watching a little bit. They're wearing like, one guy was wearing like a sequined like American flag vest. They're fucking weirdos, bro.

They are weird. Weird as fuck. The Democrats did the VMAs with celebs. Yeah. It was so fucking smug and condescending.

It was literally everything you hate about them. Yeah. And then the Republicans will definitely do that. Like the MyPillow guy in like an American flag suit coming out. God fucking damn it, dude.

That's what I'm saying. Like, dude, they have to be able to, like, that's the DNC trying to be as hip as humanly possible. And it's still like, dude, they're like completely offshore. Like the fact that they just can't land that. It's so, that's the problem for me, at least, and I know you, is it's so much funnier to see the MyPillow guy win than Common and John Legend. It's so much funnier. We've been repressed for so long, and then the MyPillow guy's like,

America's number one, motherfucker. It's like, all right, I'm going to vote for the MyPillow guy. It's very funny. Yeah, I mean, dude, I do agree, though, that I think Biden winning will be funnier and better. Biden winning will be funnier. Trump will not handle it great. I mean, Trump will never shut the fuck up. He'll still talk shit forever.

Can he run again if he loses? Yeah. He'll be kind of, he'll be geezerly. I don't know if you can. No, if he got impeached, he'd be able to, I think, run again. Really? I forget, something like that. You can serve two terms, but I don't know if it's only consecutive.

Okay. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. But, yeah, he'll, I mean, he's going to be a dude you've got to deal with for the rest of our lives. He's going to be someone who's just, like, on Fox. I don't know what the fuck he's going to be up to. He's just going to be talking shit, dude.

Well, he'll just be probably a kingmaker. He'll be like the Joe Rogan of Republicans. He'll probably start the Donald Trump podcast, which new goal we got to get on. But I don't know what the fuck he'll do. He'll definitely – he's definitely set. He's definitely set himself up from this job to just immediately be like 20 times richer than he was like as soon as he gets out of office he'll be like the books written by him 20 billion dollars art of the deal part two yeah it's gonna art of the deal two is gonna come out you know he's that's gonna be the

deal two is gonna be incredible he's like everybody said i couldn't do it and i fucking walked in there and did it wow yeah i mean that guy's like got like stephen king level book money ahead of he just wants to write like two books because he he hasn't written a single book, I don't think. I mean, since while he was in... Obama wrote some books when he got out, I think. Yeah, you don't write a book while you're in office. You can't be an author. No, nobody does that.

True, yeah. But statutory. Statutory. Yeah, it was my daughter. That is my greatest statutory no he come from my daughter she is a 17 statutory no but he is so charming dude the the dirt track i've stopped still laughing about the attire dude the attire the dirt track fashion show is dude such a funny idea there's well it's also funny, too, because once you hit a certain level of white trash,

there's dudes that can somehow defy their legs with their belly. You'll have guys with the skinniest legs and the biggest belly. It's just like, dude. And a belly that is totally disproportionate to everything else. Not even their upper body is fat. It's just a, dude, remember I literally tapped you and was like, look at that. There was a guy standing like 10 yards away from us.

It was perfect. The sun was setting behind the track in front of an American flag. This dude with the biggest gut you've ever seen just standing there eating a burger. The rest of his body was skinny. It's crazy, dude. Just by himself standing in a field because we were in the infield, so it's empty. It's just a dude by himself eating a burger. I mean, it's like the—

It must take the amount of work you have to take into getting a six-pack. In order to get a belly and defy the rest of your body, to get a skinny, to become like, like, elitely skinny fat, to where, like, you're legitimately skinny and fat. And rock hard. That belly is rock hard, dude. That guy is crystallized.

It's crazy. The pressure of fucking 30 Bud Lights a night is just... And the fact that it goes straight to the gut. Yeah, it's pretty wild. It's crazy. The pressure of fucking 30 Bud Lights a night is just... And the fact that it goes straight to the gut. Yeah, it's pretty wild. It's pretty amazing, man, to see what people can do with themselves. Or just to watch... Because the funnel cake, dude, the power went out. So they were running on Jennys, dude.

They were running on the fucking generators. And the funnel cake line didn't didn't skip a beat the lights were off in the funnel cake yeah vending machine and it was still off that's what i was still the line was still that's what i was thinking about dude like that you just get a dude who just from fucking cradle to the grave he's like crushing funnel cakes drinking like 12 beers a night and then like he just goes to the doctor and just absolutely confused doctor's like dude you're fucked up and doctor's like, dude, you're fucked up. And he's like, how? What are you talking about?

How is that possible? What? What do you mean? I go to the doctor every year. How am I fucked up? They're just like, yeah, well, your sugar's kind of high. Dude, I have like two candy bars a day. How is my sugar fucked up?

You can't have one candy bar a day. Just two liters of sodas. And then I go out out have some funnel cake funnel cakes i put lettuce i put lettuce on my daily hoagie for lunch i don't understand what the problem is here well that i'm telling you that's imagine if all those people had not got you know part of that's the ama and the fda going in with that food pyramid and being like yeah dude make sure you have sugar every candy. Get sugar every day. Get some candy, bro. What are you talking about?

Trick or treat, baby. Bread. You got some candy every day. First of all, the bread has to be the staple of the diet. Dude. If there's nothing, that is actual proof. My sister went grocery shopping yesterday. Yeah.

Came back with two boxes of donuts, two Entenmann's boxes. Shit. Two boxes of Cocoa Pebbles. She went in to get that. That's it. And Gatorade. That's two Entenmann's boxes. Shit. Two boxes of Cocoa Pebbles. She went in to get that. That's it. And Gatorade. That's it? And Gatorade.

She went and got sugar. Gatorade with just 50 grams of sugar per bottle. Gatorade's wild, dude. Gatorade's pretty high. Gatorade's insane. It's not frost. Frost is a good stuff. And somehow people are like, no, Gatorade's like a healthy.

It gives you like electrolytes. It's so much sugar. It's like worse than soda. Yeah, I was. Yeah, you could just dissolve electrolytes are just i think calcium they're just like minerals and she was yapping dude she was like somebody's got to take me to the grocery store she had to sugar up yeah yeah i get in britney's ass about that it's been a long battle but i'll just like she'll and it is tough for me to be like you you need to stop eating that shit as a fat. She's like, what do you eat?

Well, also, she can buy you off pretty easily. I had Reese's Puffs for breakfast. Reese's for breakfast? Come on, man. Reese's for breakfast? If Reese's Puffs are there, I'm definitely crushing them. I am crushing them. Yeah, they're delicious.

I have no choice. You really don't. Normally, I don't really eat breakfast this morning i woke up and i was like yeah i'll be 20 minutes late to the podcast to eat these i never believed in like the calvinistic like predetermination until i saw reese's and was like yeah it's like this was my fate of course i have no choice reese's pause it's like uh donnie dark. That thing just comes out of my chest and just guides me straight to the Reese's. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, dude, the food pyramid. And Coke. I forgot about that.

It's about a 12-pack of Coca-Cola. Do you have a classic Coca-Cola? I had half a Coca-Cola at dinner, at supper. Soda at dinner is for trash. Very moderate. But, yeah. I had half and then poured it out. That's a Michael R. Pence behavior, dude.

This is crazy. Pence. Just a half a soda, please. Just a half a soda pop for me, please. Trying to be healthy. Yeah, man. Good for the Democrats for constantly calling him gay. It's a sick move.

Well, it's also, too, it's like the Republicans are probably just fucking clenching their teeth. They're like, dude, we can call them gay so much easier. And they're like, we're not allowed. I watched an episode of The Office last night that was actually, it was the episode where Michael Scott finds out Oscar's gay. He didn't know he was gay, so he's been calling people fag in The Office, which they now bleep out. They bleep out fag and retard, which I think was on NBC a couple years ago. Okay, say it again.

It was Michael Scott saying fag and retard on NBC. Now I'm like, man, I can't believe I say that every week on the podcast. Yeah. But. Yeah, yeah. It's like, man, I can't believe I say that on YouTube. I mean, they stopped, what, two years ago? No, no, no.

This had to be like 10 years old. Okay. I would imagine. Maybe more, but still. You're saying it on, you know. Yeah. But he's like. Product of your environment.

And then someone's like, well, he's like, I wouldn't say that. Michael Scott's like, I wouldn't call people gay if I knew they were actually gay. Like I'm not going to offend people. And then someone's like, well, why don't you just assume that everybody would get offended? He's like, I'm not going to call everybody. He's like, I'm not going to – you think I'm just going to treat everybody like they're gay? He's like, that's meaner than anything. I was sitting there like yeah yeah i'm not gonna

go around assuming everybody's a pussy yeah like well i don't want to say the wrong thing here and hurt you yeah that's disrespectful yeah but also if someone else just rips it you're like hey hey come on if someone starts calling everyone gay you're like hey i thought we all agreed we're not it's like having guns someone's gonna have a nuke someone's gonna call someone gay and if someone you gotta protect yourself dude we almost got a fight in st louis over that for what somebody called this dude walked by our group and called somebody that was sitting with us a faggot really which prompted uh yeah bit of a kerfuffle bit of a scuffle dude my table versus the other table can you still duel you can't people get very upset

people get upset if you even are like fight publicly yeah they get very upset yes o'connor threw a cigarette at the guy it's pretty fun so o'connor tossed his egg at her turd lean back damn he fucking like movie batty nicholas cage yeah it was very funny it was so funny dude all because this guy was like, you guys aren't going to do shit. Faggots. Although O'Connor's like, yes, I will. Watch this. Fucking tosses a cig at him.

I was just standing there like, I can't. I can't. I'm not doing this. Well, the funny thing, I would love to think of the actual what started that fight. Because it's definitely not that guy calling you guys faggots. It was a kid that came with us after the show. So a fan was there and asked him for a cigarette. And the guy called him a faggot for that. He was like, no, fag.

And then the guy was hammered and just sitting at the table next to us and just kept talking shit. So everybody was drunk. Both tables started talking shit. Then his friends come over and like, look, we're sorry. He's an asshole. It's not a big deal. I was like, just tell him to say sorry. They he's not gonna do that it's like all right well now you're an asshole yeah get the fuck out of here like just stop talking to us it was fun yeah

that's pretty sick yeah o'connor threw a cigarette out the turd was going at him yeah dude turd was itching for it i know turd threw a cigarette at him turd's got a death wish dude he wants to die he wanted to die out in iowa wherever you guys were dude out in uh st louis pummeled in st louis dude emmy o'connor's probably died out in st louis just out selling insurance some guys like some indian scouts oh i got a good indian story what it's pretty sick story what you got uh fired up towards the end of the comanche comanches they're done it's like 1870s they're the western western expansions got them sorry did you know that native or milwaukee was named after native americans like land of peace yeah definitely okay just go on milwaukee they

mentioned that in dnc milwaukee milwaukee means peace yeah almost every all of it is yeah a lot of it is native american being. It's Native American being gay rules. Really? Milwaukee, yeah, it's like, that was one thing the lady's like, I'm the governor from Milwaukee, land named by the natives of Land of Gatherings. And it's like, okay. That place you guys conquered, go on. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, the people you subjugated? You can't stunt on the place you conquered. Well, actually, it's named after the people we genocided so yeah and they called it land of peace that was before we showed up and uh murdered all of them yeah that's before i got to live here yeah dude it's they did that at my school they think let's just acknowledge we called it home of the green bay packers come on baby it's called a land acknowledgement if you go gather in a place you have to like look up the history of it and be like and just to acknowledge this land was owned 400 years ago by indigenous people. So anyway, at the conference for insurance, they just will like, they have to.

You're supposed to acknowledge who the land was owned by before you start doing anything. Why would you ever do that? To pay respects, dude. To the people that. I think it's like a jinx, like in case it's haunted. You know, you're like. That you know uh and for the record uh also native american ghosts i'm cool with you dude it would be it would be in my syllabus for all my classes it would be like land acknowledgement i'm like you know how difficult that would be how hard that would be to actually accurately do they just ripped it would be

impossible i think they just like call someone or they just watch the History Channel. I would look up whoever the tribe originally took it from. True. That's who you got to go with. You'd go back even deeper. Before they were murdered by those savage Utes. Yeah. The Cheyenne.

Well, it would be funny, too, to go to a reservation. I just want to learn the history and just go all the way back just to debunk some fucking woke professor. Easily. Easily. It would be very easy to do. All right. So the Comanche. Also, the buffalo.

It was one of the first times in human history people were like, yo, there started to be animal rights activists in the 1870s, 60s, because they were just fucking these buffaloes up. Really? Really. So buffalo don't run if one of them gets shot. So you can sit there from a distance. And so the U.S. government, this is post-Civil War,

so they started developing these, like, ridiculous sniper rifles, these rifles that can smash you. And these dudes would just sit there and kill, like, there was dudes that killed, like, 3,500 buffalo in, like, three hours, or, like, a day. Yeah, yeah. A day. Just sitting there, just boom. Reload. Boom.

Because one of them will get dropped and they don't run unless they see where the shot came from. Buffaloes don't run. So they just stood there. Just get dropped. But also it worked as a tactic to get rid of the Plains Indians. Like all the animal rights activists were like, we're killing all the buffalo. They're all going to

be gone. And everyone was like, good. Yeah. That's all these fuckers eat. We, we're killing all the buffalo. They're all going to be gone. Everyone was like, good. That's all these fuckers eat. We've got to get rid of these people. They are motherfuckers. That's not to say what happened was good. That was their strategy. They killed like 30 million buffalo in a couple years.

That was part of the military strategy. They were like, we're going to take all their food in like a year. Close down the dollar menu. They were like, look, let's fuck it. Well, we're going to take all their food in like a year. Close down the dollar menu. They're like, look, shut the shit the fuck off. Hoagie Fest is over, dude. Party time is over. So this guy whose name translates to Wolf Pussy. Nice.

For real? Yes. Okay. They're like, well, they wouldn't publish it in the history books because at the time you couldn't write vagina. Couldn't write wolf pussy? Yeah. His name either translated to wolf vulva or coyote pussy. Okay.

Or coyote shit. Nice. It's one of those three. That's this guy's name. I love that linguist. They're leaning on him. They're like, come on, man. Figure out this guy's name.

He's like- Something bad. It's- Dog dick. I don't know. I got a down between coyote shit and wolf pussy like dude what decoder are you using uh so that guy said he was like a he was like a witch not a witch doctor but he was like i have

good medicine so that's what they always went by good medicine and bad medicine so like he had good medicine which was like spirits and like he painted himself yellow when they went to battle it's like bullets can't hurt me yeah like no matter what if you're with me bullets can't hurt us hell yeah and they were all like all right we're in that sounds like a reasonable plan so they find this is like last-ditch effort and there was a guy named uh kwana who i think his name means stink so st Stink and Wolf Pussy led this final rebellion. And Stink and Wolf Pussy got the boys together, the Comanche Warriors, and some Cheyennes. And the first thing they wanted to do was kill the buffalo hunters. And the buffalo hunters ended up actually being the worst dudes on earth.

There were dudes that were skinners, like tanners, that would follow them. So it was like 10 of these grossest dudes possible. And they kind of took pride in it. All they did was skin buffaloes all day. So they were always covered in blood, always just stunk. So it would be a rifleman, and then there would be a bunch of dudes who just tore buffalo skin off? Yes, ripped apart buffaloes and cut their tongues out.

Nice. So they would leave all the meat. They just took the skin and the tongue. What? Yeah. They would leave all the meat. They just took the skin and the tongue. What? Yeah. They would leave all the meat. Oh, dude, that's nasty. Yeah, it was real fucked up.

So it would just stink? There would just be planes of thousands of dead rotting. Yeah. That would piss me off. Yeah, that sucks for the Indians. It's funny because if I show up to a restaurant on a Monday and it's closed, I'm like, God fucking damn it. All my food was dead.

I'd be like, mother fucker. Yeah, if you saw all the food in the world just piled in a field. With all the skin was dead. I'd be like, mother fucker. Yeah, if you saw all the food in the world just piled in a field. With all the skin ripped off. I'd be like, mother fucker. Yeah. And then, dude, the only way you can get anywhere else is to walk. No, they're horses. Okay.

Comanche's big time horse guys. That would piss me off, dude. If I had to walk. But that was their only food source. That was the only food they ever used. They were never agricultural. Yeah. A couple of them started to be agricultural towards the end but yeah they were never that uh but so they put

together the squad and they're like all right we gotta go hit the fucking dickhead hunters so they they tried to go to attack them at night in this small ass town like little town literally there were a bunch of towns that popped up that were just for buffalo hunters so it was just whorehouses and bars like these were the shittiest dudes ever several buffalo wild wings named ever yes yes uh definitely so this one bartender knew they were coming somehow i think an indian must have told him somebody somebody tipped him off so he like fired his rifle at night all the retarded dudes woke up He said it was the top of the bar breaking, so they needed to stay up all night and fix it because he knew they were going to attack at night while everyone was sleeping.

And they slept outside. These dudes were sleeping outside because it was hot. And they would have just slaughtered these dudes. And then after, he was like, all right, thanks for fixing that. Here's some free drinks. So he kept them up all night drinking until like 6 a.m. when the Indians finally attacked. And then they attacked the meanest dudes ever that were blacked out. Blacked out dudes.

But they were also inside a bar. It was made of thick sod walls. So the Indians couldn't shoot in. But then these dudes had their hunting rifles that were like the most powerful rifle of the time yeah and we're just the indians couldn't believe that they were getting hit they were one dude hit a guy from almost a mile away back then holy and they were like they couldn't hear the shot so all of a sudden they'd be talking and some dude would just explode they're around the yellow guy too and the yellow guy they're like what the fuck dude so afterwards the yellow guy was like well you guys shouldn't have killed that fucking skunk i told you about

that that was dog pussy's excuse after everybody got killed he was like the cheyenne killed a skunk last night i told you guys not to so fucking it's funny how even back then people just can't be wrong he's like no i totally can have a force field. I was right about the force field. That guy killed a fucking skunk. Yeah, because one of the Cheyennes was like, my son's dead in there. Use your force field and go pick up his body. He's like, well, I'd love to. I'd love to, but your son did kill a skunk.

So I'm going to get out of here. Sorry about this. Nice work with you guys. Everything doesn't work out? Yeah. It was pretty funny, though, because the hunters were just like, this is enjoyable. Oh, yeah. The dudes that were hammered that were about to get slaughtered. Why didn't the guy just tell them, like, yo, they're about to slaughter you?

Bunk up in here. Why did he get them all drunk? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I forget why. It was some sort of thing where they would have fought. They would have tried to beat out the streets.

Yeah, that's true they make no you guys will get butt fucked yeah damn so we bunkered them down in a thing bunkered them in gave them whiskey and then they all had their all of their hunting right so their rounds they had rounds enough to kill thousands of buffalo so they were just loaded also imagine waking up from a like a blackout you like look outside and they're like, what did we do last night? Dude, we won a battle against a bunch of Indians. Yeah, like the last Comanches. We fucked them up, dude.

And you just wake up and you're like, oh, fucking head. Step out and there's a bunch of dead Indians. You're like, fuck, man. That was crazy. I kind of remember. Oh, dude, I remember that. Oh, shit, yeah. You hit that guy from like a mile. It's i remember that oh shit yeah you hit that guy

from like a mile it's like oh fuck i hit that guy yeah pretty sick yeah man and how many years how long ago was that it was 1870 1874 i think and we've all made lightning speed moral progress to where now it's like we we love everybody. We love everything. Yeah. That is almost kind of the most disturbing thing about the DNC is how, like, do the Republicans, for them to stir everybody up using, like, you know, xenophobia and all that stuff. Like, the lady, dude, she was like, and Donald Trump is building more of the wall. And everyone's like, yeah.

But the Democrats use, like, this like this weird fucking like creepy love thing where they're like no we love everybody come be loved with us and it's like I don't know what they do is even creepier for me it's like this weird fake like corporate love and it just creeps me out yeah you see a lot of signs

especially when you're driving like black lives matter presented by starbucks and it's like yeah something's weird something's weird about this like they're the board of shareholders Especially when you're driving, like, Black Lives Matter, presented by Starbucks. And it's like, geez, something's weird. Something's weird about this. Like, they're the board of shareholders. Like, Q3 earnings are up. Also, new Young Jeezy video, pretty sick.

You got to check it out. But, yeah, it's, I don't know. I can't put my finger on exactly what they're doing. But I think they're, like, being like, no, we're the ones who love everybody. Come in. It just, like, fucking creeps me out, man're the ones who love everybody. Come in. It just fucking creeps me out, man. Yeah. We love all people. Yes.

You want to know what had... Yeah, I forgot about this. You want to know what had Phil fired up? What? Got honky Phil fired up. What? LeMary, you'll like this. Do you remember when...

What's his name? Montrez? Harrell. Montrez Harrell? Yeah. So, last game, he called Luka Doncic Doncic, right? I'm saying that correctly? Yeah.

He called him a white, pussy-ass white boy? Called Luka Doncic? Yeah, Luka Doncic is a honk. Yeah. Montrezl, his life matters a lot. Yeah. But he called him a pussy-ass white boy. His life matters a lot. Yeah. All right? He's that.

But he called him a pussy-ass white boy. Obviously, didn't miss a minute of playing time. Obviously. Yeah. Why did he call him a pussy-ass white boy? I think, I don't know. Didn't somebody on the Nets flop? I don't know.

Oh, the Clippers. The Clippers. Didn't somebody on the Clippers flop? I don't know. I's on the Clippers. Oh, the Clippers. The Clippers. Didn't somebody on the Clippers flop? I don't know. I think Doncic was complaining. So he basically called Phil a pussy-ass white boy. So Phil took it personally. And then, of course, Luka Doncic hits a fucking ridiculous game winner. Balls out last night.

Like, sick fucking play. Like, yeah, how about that? There's that pussy-ass white boy for you. But in Phil's defense, because he was arguing this with me and i was like well obviously he's like now imagine if that was different yeah if luka donchich made a play and said that to montrez what would happen yeah and i was like you understand it is different right a little he's like tell me why and i was like you want me to. And I was like, you want me to explain, like, history? Is that what you want right now?

But it was funny to hear Doc Rivers, Montrez's coach, be like, yeah, people are sensitive these days. I sat him down. I was like, you can't say stuff like that. Can't say pussy-ass white boy. Can't call it. And he's like, look, I know him. I don't think it was a race thing.

Pussy-ass white boy? I think it might have been slightly racial. It was funny. It was a big moment for the whites in basketball. Dude, I'd be sick if black dudes can't say white boy. If I was like, excuse me? What did you say to me? What did you say to me?

How dare you? And that's what I was saying to Phil. I was like, well, mainly because also it doesn't hurt to get called a white boy. Yeah. It does not hurt, really. It does, it stings a little. I might go up to the court, dude, and if I cross him up, like, how do you like that, you black bitch?

Like, that was a travel. What do you think of that rebound, you white idiot? Oh, my God. I'm going to start playing pickup basketball. You know, you go, hey, what's going on? My name is Matt. What ethnicity are you? Just so I know.

Just so I know. Just in case I hit a game winner. You Portuguese fucking retard. Romero, you were about to comment on something here. I was going to say that I just read an article where Lucas said he was surprised that somebody had to call and apologize. Good. Because they wanted Montrez to call him and apologize.

Yeah. I mean, the guy's been called. I mean, he's a pro basketball player. He's a white basketball player. White boy. That guy's pretty, like, yeah. White boys. That's what they call me.

Yeah. I'm a white guy. I'm playing basketball with a bunch of black dudes. They call me white boy. He's from, like, Europe, though. Yeah, he is. So we can't claim him? Do you want him? Hell yeah. Hell hell yeah we want him and dirk but if where's wherever he's from you got to claim

the whole country what country is he from sounds croatian slovenia nah yeah fuck slovenia fucking white boy dumb ass fucking white Slovenian Bitch Slovenian bitch I love how they explain to that guy That guy's in trouble He's like For what? They called you a white boy

And he's like I don't understand This is a very great honor Where I am from Yeah This is the most honorable thing to be called They're probably like You know how you had to stop saying the N word

Before you came here? Well we're trying to enforce that on them He's like Really? Is that bad? I do not understand this thing to be called. They're probably like, you know how you just stopped saying the N-word before you came here? Well, we're trying to enforce that on them. He's like, really? Is that bad? I do not understand this. So you're being pussies too about bad words? This is how you fight?

Yeah, man. That's pretty funny. Yeah, if we ban white boy, that'd be big progress, dude. I'm going to go to the RNC. We officially banned the term white boy. You know how to say it anymore? If you say it, you better say sorry.

You better apologize. You're going to have to apologize to us. That's the other thing, too. As long as you – the way to kind of stay into like that – you get kicked out of the whole corporate apparatus if you do something that's bad. People, when they write these canned apologies, you're not even apologizing to people. It's like you're apologizing to corporations. I am deeply sad. I will work to do better.

It's like a canned response. Of course, that's not even for fucking people. It's just for you're like, bro, it's crazy. The most canned. I told you, I literally got an apology from NBC to say, I know. And then I saw it a bunch of times when other dudes are doing blackface and shit. It's like, oh, that's my apology. That's the one I

did. That was the one I was supposed to say. They gave me a blackface apology? They gave me a fucking blackface one? Jesus, what kind of fucking animal do they think I am? It's recording. Oh. Hey, we're going to switch over to the Patreon. Thank you for joining us. Go to patreon.com slash mssp or something like that.

I don't know. For now. For now, dude. Until it collapses. Until Patreon collapses and ruins our lives. Yeah. But yeah. I'd be sick.

I'm actually looking forward to that. Really? Patreon collapses. Put us back in the mud for a little. No. Yeah, let's do it, dude. No. I'd crumble.

All right. Switch over to the patreon yeah or don't or radio dogs true we made peace we made peace with them