Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 323- 40 More Days

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

How cool is it that we basically have two presidents right now? It's like everyone wins. Also, can't freaking wait to be more united with all of my American brothers and sisters more than ever. And if anyone tries to get into our more-united-than-ever country we'll detain them, or let them chill. Whatever. These issues are totally up to us now. Right?  Either way, it's good to be back to normal. Excited to return to forcibly extracting resources from foreign nations under the guise of national security. 

God damn are we live bro? We are live nevermind. Wow. Wow. Wow. Me and Shane are looking at hot chicks on the internet dude. That's how you know you're alpha as fuck dude whenever you have downtime you're like check out this porn. Jealous hot bitch. I love her. It wasn't a nude? Of course it was not nude. It was clothed? It was clothed and tasteful? No more porn in Biden's America dude. We're out with porn? Now that Biden's won. Biden's America, dude. We're out with porn. Now that Biden's won. It's a new vision, dude. We were just talking about it, dude.

Matt calls clean slate. Everybody's sins are forgiven. 100%. And we're allowed to do things again. We understand. I mean, dude, part of my hopeful vision that I have, because it's cool what happened right now, is that everyone gets forgiven for whatever transgressions.

Besides, you know, a couple people can stay. Like who? Rapists? Are you on Free Cosby? Yeah, I'm thinking more like hard rapists. More like literal crimes versus thought? People who have committed cultural crimes. Not thought crimes.

Yeah. Real crimes. Free thought crimes. Everyone who did thought crimes right now. That's my personal vision. Like if you were to take a picture of me in front of a Hope poster with me looking very wistfully over a bunch of people that would be my that would be yours you're not saying free the rapists no free the rapists can stay just the thought criminals thought

criminals yeah release them let them out do you think that the the thought police are going to release the thought criminals i don't know dude i'm curious i don't think they know that they are not like house arrests no they're nothing just go to your job in entertainment and come home and make sure they could read your Twitter for you and be like, oh, you're good. Instead of like drug tests, they could check your Twitter and be like, hey, dude, you didn't capitalize the MMXians, dude. Fucking 30 more days. Come on.

Yeah, true. I wouldn't mind that. That'd be fair. But to have just some social work. Just have somebody read all my stuff. Social work masters just be like. Well,

during the podcast you did say. True. We should get audited. Like, look, audit everything we ever said

and hit me with the bill. Tell us what's bad. I think that's what happened, by the way. We got audited pretty hard. Yeah,

a little bit. A little bit. That episode's back up on Radio Dogs. The episode we got canceled for. I listened to it. got on it pretty hard yeah a little bit a little bit that episode's back up on radio dogs the episode we got canceled for i listened to it yeah not bad it's bullshit that was a rough one oh the one i listened to it it wasn't bad oh you're saying that was a rough one in terms of like yeah it was like yeah i mean at the time when you're getting crossed you're like am i bad yeah maybe i am bad and then you listen to it you're like no i'm not well i've said it before it's an easy it's an easy question people like especially the

thrown around white supremacists pretty heavily it's like well ask me if i worry about the future of the white race give you an honest answer don't really care about it that much i'm not worried no i haven't thought about it until you brought it up now i'm like wait hold on i'm like well am i being truthful i never thought about it until i heard it's a pretty easy thing it's a weird thing to assign to somebody well they're a white supremacist it's like i'm not really like did i secretly like code 1488 in my fucking text or something i don't know about i think we might have that would be that would be no i never did you did what you think i did 1488 yes you think i 1488 it dude show me proof you're. You're going to Giuliani me, dude?

No. You got proof? I got a guy from Michigan who said Matt drew a swastika on his ruler. You did draw swastikas on your ruler. I did. I didn't know. To be fair to me, I didn't know what they were. And I was in sixth grade. I didn't know what it was.

I know, you know, someone showed me that. They're like, dude, check these things out, these rule. And I was like, sounds good. That's all I need to know. Jackpot. Like they're really bad to let anyone catch them. What's that, the coolest symbol I've ever seen? Yeah, man.

No, that is a. If Hammer and Sickle is a cool one, if you can draw it. Hammer and Sickle comes out pretty cool. Yeah, I bet. I'll give the commies that. That is a tight fucking symbol. I wish we had a symbol america eagle we got the ball no but i mean like a a logo you know we don't have like a nike check

like all the other true true totalitarians you get a nike check when you get that yeah we don't have one you get like twitter verified yeah like china has like a star like a star with like stars kind of around it nice and they go hammer and sickle to within the star which is now we're talking even cooler damn and then they kill like 80 million people no problem tight they were figuring stuff out there's a man fair i was having a billion people if you kill 80 million that's you know look man those are covet numbers trying to figure it out exactly yeah well how did how did mal kill a bunch of people what happened did they not like i mean i'm sure they literally killed them but they also like starved them there's like food programs and work programs i think they i think i thought they caught a nasty

virus and people didn't take the necessary they probably did they probably did not socially distance i think socially distancing was physically impossible uh and then i think in world war i could be wrong i think they cut it. They opened a dam. They were just like, we got to slow down these fucking Japanese coming through here. And they were just like, all right, open that dam so they can't cross. And it just flooded. Like millions of people died. Flooded some of their own?

Yeah. They opened their own dam to like fuck it up. I could be wrong. True. It's just a story I'm remembering off the dome, dude. Damn. I'm just spitting off the dome bro i didn't i you know you know me i'm not a i like history i'm not a huge history buff but i'm i'm more of a weatherman i've been i told you i was researching the weather dude dude it is i might

try to become an amateur meteorologist you don't need that many i mean you know it'd be nice to have a doppler but i can always like check out the local doppler the doppler how would you get a doppler oh i'm not going to get one. But if I have like a hygrometer, something to measure wind speeds, and I can just like observe the different types of clouds. Like, dude, if I see a nimbocumulus or cumulus nimbus. There you go. Careful, bro.

Cumulo. Cumulonimbus? I think it's cumulonimbus. There are cumulus, right? Yeah. Cumulus clouds. There's strato-cumulus, like depending on the different levels. Get some stratos up there.

Yeah. Or if I'm watching the Dopler and you see the red mixed with the with the green oh boy watch out careful what happens then they even run into some tornadoes 95 of the time it's going to be extreme weather but yeah there's five percent chance you're going to run into a tornado touchdown yeah dude but i was reading now on the fugita scale where would you rank the tornadoes you funny you talk? Funny you talk about Fujita, bro. Fujita was actually growing. So Fujita lived in a town, almost a village, excuse me, one or two days before Fujita lived.

That was the first thing that came to mind. What? We're talking about Fujita. I was talking about the area that was going to get bombed that he lived in. Funny thing was there was a dense fog covering that, so they didn't bomb that town. And instead, I think they bombed Nagasaki, I think. Instead of the town that Fujita lived in.

And then since they spared him, he ended up becoming a heavy contributor to meteorology. Oh my god, dude. Wait, Fujita was Japanese? Yeah, what the fuck? That's crazy. I never even... You didn't think? Well, probably because you don't think about that kind of stuff.

I didn't think the Japanese were into tornadoes. Yeah, bro. It's the land of the gods. They have nothing but natural. They never have tornadoes. Dude, they have earthquakes like crazy. Japan is land of the gods. They have nothing but natural. They never have tornadoes. Dude, they have earthquakes like crazy. Japan is land of the gods.

Earthquakes, but that wouldn't be the Fujita scale. They might get a nadir too. Well, I think he got out of Japan. Of course. I think he left his hood. Of course.

I just never, for some reason, the Fujita scale, I never. Dude, I swear I think they have fucking, what did you think did it? I just never thought about it. Yeah, dude.

I didn't even realize that that was a partner. I thought you were messing around. I thought you were just saying you don't even think about that kind of stuff. I literally never thought about that kind of stuff. Yeah, he it. Yeah, dude. I didn't even realize that that was a partner. I thought you were messing around. I thought you were just saying, like, you don't even think about that kind of stuff. I literally never thought about that kind of stuff. Yeah, he's from Japan, dude.

Wow. That's great. He's from Japan. He definitely invented it in America. Oh, for sure. It's like the Fujita slash someone else scale, too. I don't think many other places get Tornadoes like us. Tornado Alley?

What if Japan gets tornadoes? Europe doesn't get too many. It says tornadoes in Japan are rare, but they're not unheard of. They happen every now and again. They get fucked with weather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Typhoons can cause tornadoes. What?

Typhoons can cause tornadoes. Do? Typhoons can cause tornadoes. What do you want, a big wave or a tornado? Well, a typhoon is not a big wave. Big old wave. It's like a big storm. You're thinking tsunami. Oh, okay. Whatever.

Also a Japanese word. Tsunami. True. Tsunami. That's the only way you can describe a humongous wave coming at you. No matter what. It is a very wavy wave, like a tsunami. You're thinking typhoon, you're thinking big waves. It does result in big waves.

I think a typhoon is just a hurricane in that hemisphere. In the ocean? Doesn't it go the opposite direction? I swear to God. Dude, I'm the weatherman. You don't know shit about weather. You thought typhoons were big waves because of water rides being named typhoon. 100%, I know that's why. It's just the name. You thought typhoons were big waves because of water rides being named typhoon. 100%.

I know that's why. It's just the name of a tropical cyclone in that part of the country. So an ocean tornado. No, like a hurricane. The same as a hurricane. It's right below a hurricane. Oh, okay. I'm more of a storm chaser.

If I hear about a typhoon... I'm a storm chaser. I call storm chasers, dude. I love tornadoes. I called that. You gotta call it on air, dude. I did call it on air. I thought I made it clear that I was...

I called it on air. I called it on air that I was tornado chaser. Tornado chaser because I didn't even have to deck out the Chevy Cruze. My weight alone in it. I didn't even have to deck out the Chevy Cruze. My weight alone in it. I didn't even have to weigh down the Cruze. We just spin you in the Chevy Cruze. In the Gravitron levels, you're just like, damn, this thing's fucking strong.

What is it on the Fujita scale? Yeah, man. I love YouTube and some F5s. You are a storm chaser. I love F5s. YouTube, I was on a storm chaser. I love F5s. I was on a kick for months of just watching Tornado. Fuck, dude. They're awesome.

They rule. Literally awesome. That's the way to describe them. Yeah, they are. Awesome. They are awesome. Terrifying. Dude, it's pretty fucking nuts, man.

It was funny, though, because they got into all the history of how weather... Well, they talked about the invention of weather forecasting, which goes back to Aristotle, I think. Back then, he had a couple misses. People were giving it a shot back then. A hard shot. Aristotle called a couple things. I've been pissed lately. Every day I wake up, it's fucking hot out.

I know. I'm done, dude. Well, if you're paying attention to low and high pressure systems, you'd know. High pressure... Low pressure is bringing some cold, so... I'm such a cocksucker. Well, you can... Dude, Da vinci apparently started the hygrometer da vinci left a thing of wool outside and he would weigh it and he was like damn this thing's heavy on some days and he's like oh the air has water

in it it's like holy fuck so then the dude the stories of weather inventions are so fucking funny there was a da vinci did the hygrometer aristotle tried to do he got some weather swag but he also was like and the fucking sun revolves around the earth and people are like man man like you fucking lost that one but idiot he said that's where the term meteorology came from it's like meteorology the word meteor back then was just like shit in the sky it's like oh fuck there's meteors you know like stars yeah yeah or like you know whatever it was like clouds and shit um i told you that time i've said it on here i have still been a couple times one time me and my friend were smoking weed laying in the back backyard and we saw a shooting star and he was like is that really like a star i've never forgotten

it i was so high that i was like dude, I think this is the dumbest understanding of science I've ever heard in my life. I was like, you have no grasp at all of what's out there. It's a meteor. Yeah. Yeah. Or a meteorite. Whatever that difference is. Meteor, meteorite?

Meteorite's just smaller. I don't think that's true. Okay. That's fine. Not about what's smaller. Meteorite crashes to the earth. Yeah. Meteorites go in the atmosphere. Yeah, meteorites go in the atmosphere.

Smaller once it burns to the atmosphere? Sure. Come on. If it was too small, it would just disintegrate. What part are you talking about? Like the stratosphere? What part are you talking about? The atmosphere.

Do you know how? Okay, so you're talking about hanging pretty low to the Earth then. Well, literally hitting the Earth. Yeah, meteorites would get in the atmosphere and hit Earth. No doubt. Yes. It definitely got whittled down by the stratosphere some of them the stratosphere is like 4 000 degrees but our air particles are so far apart you wouldn't feel it going through there yeah

that's pretty neat that's you know dude the book is just just facts it's just that's cool it's just loosely connected facts also yeah i'll eat the meteorite thing i didn't know that i took a chance that's all right well you were very bold in your stance on it dude all the great weathermen all the great dude galileo galileo hurricane mccusker hurricane aristotle fucking uh self john celsius john celsius whatever his name is real there's it's like john claude celsius and there's a dude whose name was fahrenheit the dude who was fahrenheit did – our whole system, Fahrenheit system, is based on the freezing point of water. It's like the difference between ice and the temperature of his own body.

It was like 98.6 degrees. And then the guy who did Celsius originally had – the freezing point of water was 100 degrees Celsius, and the boiling point was zero degrees. And as soon as he died, they were like, let's flip that around. Yeah. What an idiot. So stupid. The first thermometer had no numbers. I still don't know which one we we're fair enough

we're fahrenheit yeah the rest of the world celsius rest everyone else and and the scientists within america like we also do celsius because it's just much it's an easier it's easier because it's like 32 212 you know whatever but the uh although it feels like celsius is a little it's not as accurate you know really it feels like because the numbers are small like ours is fahrenheit's much more like it's 78 degrees but i bet could be wrong here but like if it's 22 degrees Celsius. What's 22? 22. Well, think about the boiling. It's got to be like 80 degrees.

No, it's like this long. No. It's like 70. 22? Yeah, that's like. 50 would be 100 degrees. Right here. If you think about it.

71. 71. What? All right. Wouldn't 50 degrees Celsius be 100 degrees Fahrenheit? It's basically double, isn't it? I don't think. 212 is boiling point.

100 is boiling point. So you'd think it would be somewhere like double it. 50 is 122. Yeah, basically. We don't know what's going on. Dude, I know everything about the weather. You know less than me somehow. No, I don't.

It's pretty impressive. I just hipped you to fucking. Dude, the first thermometer had no numbers it was just like it would get hot you would just see like a mercury would stick out you're like yeah that wouldn't really do you much look at that it's gonna be like yeah i knew it was hot it's hot as fuck this stinks so check dude the dude original weather there's actually an award for uh amateur weather forecasting that they give out every now and again so i might try to i'm gonna try to like that's a lifetime achievement yeah but it's tough dude again again when you have the doppler going dude that was another

thing the doppler i think i told you this the doppler was a military invention some british guy was like can we please get a fucking laser beam to shoot planes out of the air yeah and they're like uh here's radar it won't shoot them i'll tell you where they are they're like fine and they're like damn why are the clouds fucking like you know different colors and shit and they're like and they figured out that like it you know when the clouds are going this way versus that way it's some weird shit but it's pretty tight that's awesome yeah dude they were they started going into the different military history of weather and how the uh like i told you about the russian thing and all the other stuff the uh d-day was they were like dude yeah give us a we need a three-day grace period for x amount of humidity low tide at a

certain time um sir you know it can't rain for like three days and they hit it right on the head and then like a week later just a horrible storm came and washed the docks dude it's pretty fucking nuts that's awesome pretty fucking tight but... Yeah, most inventions and technology are based around war. Yeah. Like, throughout. Just smashing people. Yeah. Yeah, like World War I.

Yeah, for sure. But no, that was... There was one other thing, too, in terms of the weather. It was fucking... It was killing me. It was so fucking funny. But either way, I forget. But, dude, I'm all about it right now.

You're all about what? I'm watching the clouds. I'm low pressure, high pressure. Just trying to see what's going on, dude. What do you think? I bet it gets cold soon. You know, I'm just going off the 10-day forecast. Yeah, you're right.

It's getting chilly. It's getting chilly. Called it. Yes, I'm just more of an instinctive weatherman. True. You know, I feel it in my bones. Yeah, meteorologists like me, you know, the guys who do the Farmer's Almanac, we're kind of like. Well.

Okay. We'll see. Me and Franklin, we're all over it. We'll see, dude. A lot of great men also have stuff to do with the weather. It just happens that way. I don't know what it's like. Yeah, man.

Oh, dude, this is the thing I want to talk about. So apparently there were two ships. It was the SS Adelaide or something. Actually, I think I have it right here. Let me see. God damn it, Mishuli. Stop texting me. Stop texting me, Uncle Neil.

What the fuck does Shules want? Dude, the Stockholm and the Andrea Dora. Did you ever hear about that? What happened? Dude, so this was around the time of the Titanic. There were two... The Andrea Dora was a luxury liner. They were, again, same.

Everyone back then in a big boat would just be like, never going to sink this thing. Yeah, yeah. And then they would go out. So the Stockholm was a thing from Sweden that was just a fucking barge that was supposed to just crash through icebergs yeah and they had radar at this point but it was foggy and apparently the radar was like kind of shitty back then so they couldn't really for some reason they couldn't see until someone was like kind of

close i don't know if like something threw off the signal so these guys both pilot or both captains were just like yeah we fine what's the chance. What is the chance? We're in the fucking ocean. We're not going to fucking crash. Yeah, we're not going to hit. So they fucking, they were just flying through the middle of the ocean. Like this SS Stockholm that's like basically like, maybe not as big as the Titanic, but like a big luxury ship with like,

I think a thousand people on it maybe. Dude, just going, going, going. All of a sudden they see blips. They come up on each other's radar and they're like, how close is that ship? And then they're, there's intense fog. They can't see anything. They're like, try to steer, and they're like, how close is that ship? And then they're in dense fog.

They can't see anything. They're like, try to steer. So they're trying to both move. And the one, the Adelaide, whatever thing it was called, the Italian ship. Angiadora. Italian ship was like, if you're on the right side, you turn left. Italians have bad luck with cruise ships. Yo, exactly, dude.

So they made a weird move where it was like, fuck it. We're going to pull over to this port. But apparently like it was like no turns. It was like Jersey laws, like no turn on red kind of shit. So like, it was weird that they turned this way.

So the Stockholm was like, Oh fuck, here's someone on radar. We're going to turn this way too. And they just both appeared out of the fog right as they were like, boom. And the SS Stockholm pierced a hole in this thing. Like immediately people were sleeping like a Royal Caribbean is a Royal Caribbean just, boom, killed, like, I think it was, like, maybe, like, 80 people just instantly died. And then water just rushed in.

Water just rushed into this thing. And, you know, luckily, they didn't have enough of, which a lot of their, whatchamacallit, like, escape boats or whatever got trashed. But the SS Stockholm happened to have all their shit still fine. Well, that's good, yeah. It was made to fucking hit icebergs. Yeah. So their shit still fine. Well, that's good. Yeah, there was a boat right there. It was made to fucking hit icebergs. Yeah. So that ship was fine.

They had an icebreaker. Exactly. So it let all of their ships out and they got actually only the people, I think, only like a couple hundred people died and should have been all, the ship sunk.

The ship, it's still, it's still sunken right now, but they, there was like a French ship that happened to be passing that like they got all the people off for the most part. Nice.

But dude, being on a cruise ship and all of a sudden like man holy shit in the fucking ocean and at night in the cold cold ocean scary dude the thing was like people were swimming there was they took on so much water on the bottom people were like dude they got fucked up oh just on a fucking cruise dude and he just especially back then it must have been a tough business back then too because a lot of people were taking like cruises in terms of like coming from like Italy and Ireland on shitty fucking boats

yeah yeah yeah you want to get back on a boat and this time get hammered fuck no dude yeah yeah it was all because it was the fog dude they were both like

don't be a pussy we'll be fine yeah dude they were like maybe we should like be the bitch and just bonk right

no fucking shit. That made me laugh. I was listening to that. It is very funny. I wonder if the Italian went down with the ship, the captain. I don't think he had the honor. I don't think he, no. I would, dude, I would bail on that.

I'd be so mad if somebody, imagine somebody like suggesting that to you if you were the captain. Yeah. Like while the ship's saying, be like, what are you going to? That would be a full. Like, dude, fuck you. No. I captain yeah like while the ship's thing would be like what are you gonna uh that would be a full like dude fuck you i don't know yeah i'd be like actually yes i am i'm gonna make sure the lifeboats are operating i'll be right back yeah peace but then it's like dude i don't know i guess yeah i guess you know would word travel that you would just have to even if word traveled you'd be like a bar and someone'd be like there's that coward that didn't drown suck Suck my dick, dude.

Do you think that still applies in the military now? It should apply to any boat. True. If you're on one of those paddle boats in Central Park in the pond. I might start taking that into driving. If I'm driving the car, someone hits me and I'm in a thing and my car's on fire, I'd be like, get out. You have to go down with the ship every time.

As a driver, I take that very seriously. Yeah, I know you do. I would be like, hey, everyone, save yourselves, and just sit in my car while it's leaking gas. I'd be like, oh, fuck, man. Noah, you were raising your hand back there. Yeah, I was reading about it. Only 46 people died, and 1,200 were rescued.

Yeah, pretty crazy. And it was only from Massachusetts to New York. That was the trip. That's how long the cruise was? Yeah. That's like an hour. Yeah. It's like the spirit of Philadelphia.

Yeah, it was just like a little duck boat. Yeah, literally. A fucking stockbroker. Burn! Icebreaker, dude. Yeah, I knew it was like less than 100 people. Yeah. So, yeah, I think all those people also, I think, died on impact.

I think they swam back to the coast. No, they had. Yeah, I know. I got it. But I was just saying how close it was. That's crazy. Yeah. Considered the worst maritime disaster to occur in United States water since the sinking of the Eastland in 1915.

Don't get me started. They don't know anything about the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Pretty nasty. Pretty nasty. Are you kidding me? Walking off a boat sucks, dude. There's like, you know, I mean, I'll give you an iceberg,

but for the most part, it's open waters. You ever listen to the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald? No. You could get fired up, dude. What happened? It's an old oil rig.

Went down in one of the Great Lakes, I forget. Maybe Ontario. That sucks. What happened to it? Just got hit with some nasty weather. But it was just like, yeah, it's Gordon Lightfoot. You gotta listen to this song. Oh, he taught you things to it? Uh, just got hit with some nasty weather, but it was just like, yeah,

it's Gordon Lightfoot. You gotta listen to this song. Oh, he taught you to sing about it? That's great. That's sick. God, that's fucking sick.

Ontario, they say, never gives up her dead. When the waves of November come early. Oh, damn, dude. I would have loved,

I would have really enjoyed. I fucked those lyrics up. No, that's true. Nobody's gonna know. Oh, but if you listen to this podcast, you know that song, dude. You think so?

I promise. Some Gordon Lightfoot? There's going to be a bunch of people that are like, Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald fucking rules. It's Shrek 1. It's absolutely Shrek 1. Yes.

Damn, that fucking rules. It is, dude. Yeah, I might get real into shipwrecks, dude. Somebody comes down, the cook, he's talking to them, he's like, boys, it's been real good.

Dunno, yeah. They all knew they were going to die. Just like boys it's been real good oh yeah they all knew they were gonna die just the boys they come on man dude I'm gonna get into sailor culture

somebody look up Edmund Fitzgerald hurry up I might steal it's right here I'm looking it up the lyrics no no not the lyrics

just the shit what lake was it Ontario or I think Ontario I think it was Lake Ontario I think so it doesn't say

it really just says the great lakes I could probably probably wanna you know they probably wanna you can name all of them right I think it was Lake Ontario. I think so. It doesn't say. It really just says the Great Lakes. I could probably. Probably want to, you know, they probably want to. You can name all of them, right? What, the Great Lakes? Yeah. Michigan, Ontario, Lake Chicago.

Nope. Lake Chicago. That's Lake Michigan. That's Lake Michigan. No, you can't. You're from there, dude. Time out. Yeah, dude.

It's easy. It's Homes. Lake Michigan. You just got to remember Homes. That's the acronym. I heard that. H. H. Huron. Huron, obviously. O. It's Holmes. Like Michigan? You just got to remember Holmes. That's the acronym. I heard that. H. H.

Huron. Huron, obviously. O. Ontario. M. Michigan. E. Erie.

Erie. Hell yeah. S. It's what the white race is. We got 40 more days of goofing. We're going to get them in. When Trump. The answer are superior.

I'm just kidding. That was a fuck. Listen here, America. We're fucking around. We're done joking. Jokes are done. We promise no more jokes. True.

Joe Biden won. We're done joking. True. This is going to turn into a very serious podcast that's just about nautical disasters. That's fucking cool. I've been dying to talk Indianapolis. What?

Pretty sure it's Lake Superior. Really? That's where he sank. On the Canadian side of Lake Superior. Bastards. Those November whims, when the winds come early, dude. They took our boys. Probably some white caps in there, too.

A lot of white caps. Obviously. Come on, now. A lot of white caps. Obviously, white caps just bashing up against you. I got to explain what white caps were when i was on the jet ski with britney i felt so cool to have ocean knowledge dude just be like yeah she's like how's the you know we had some you know it's a pacific obviously

a little choppy but i was like we don't got any white caps out here we're fine she what are they i was like it's when the tops are white because it's stormy my dad told me when i was fishing like 10 years ago. She was probably holding your waist like, wow, my man is a genius. No, it's a lie. Well, then it flipped.

Then you flipped. Then you're Edmund Fitzgerald, dude. Yeah. Like, it's been good to know your voice. Pretty sure an icebreaker hit me, dude. Flipped my jet ski.

Just a Stockholm out of nowhere. Yeah, dude. I got fucking crushed. Shipwrecks are cool. Yeah. Dude, that ship... We can talk Lusitania. We can talk. Shipwrecks are cool. Yeah. Dude, that ship... We can talk Lusitania.

We can talk cool shipwrecks. You talking about Lusitania, bro? You don't want to talk Lusitania. 40 days close to getting... You don't want to bring that up, dude. You don't want to bring Lusitania up. Come on, man. I heard they found some weapons in the hull.

I heard the U-boats were correct to sink that thing. Just... That's a rumor flying. Dude, they probably did have weapons. Yeah. I think the rumor... I think the thing is, like, why do they put weapons

on a civilian thing knowing people will get... Those Nazis. Well, no. They were trying to sneak the weapons. They dotted their I's and crossed their T's, dude.

They knew when weapons were coming across. You know what I mean? They even crossed their T's. Even extra. You know? Get it? Although they didn't get that.

Yeah. I hear what you're saying. We're fired. That's it. We're almost done making jokes like that. True. What type of jokes are we going to have to make now? We're going to start making fun of Trump.

He won't even leave. I can't believe he's not leaving. I'm like, I'm on a bench. Yeah, we can do that. But we're going to have to. What are the new jokes going to be? There's going to be a legion of comedians. Our podcast.

We both agreed on this from day one. And it just happened to be right around when Trump started. We go with the president. Sure. A hundred percent. So when Trump was in office, we did. We did lean a little right with our comedy. Of course.

Now when Biden's in, we are going to lean very left. A hundred percent. And I plan on being. I don't know about you. I'm going to replace matt with where first order of business is me and matt are both retiring for sure we're gonna put the dopers in here yeah we'll just work sound yeah hi he'll be pretty nice actually just get stoned and be like oh i thought i had it on uh damn matt now for 40 more days, I'll sit back. Joking. Matt, for 40 more days, I will sit back.

Is it 40? Is that how many more days he has? I think they've been saying that for like two weeks. Roughly, roughly. Whatever, January. Until 2021, I'll sit back and let you make jokes like that, make fun of a POC. True. Two.

Whatever he is, he's something. He's a mix. He's something I don't like. And in 40 days, I'm going to really like it. But right now something i don't like and in 40 days i'm gonna really like it but right now i don't like it until january true we're gonna love them and then i'm gonna love them true ask permission to speak i have been watching uh you would fucking love this it's uh john brown it's the good lord bird i told you about this watched it last night it's fucking that's the guy just going around and it's john John Brown getting... Freeing slaves? Getting rowdy.

He's like, I'm from God. I'm going to free everybody. I'm from God. God sent me. America needs to pay for the sin of slavery through blood. And he would just go around and try to kill as many people. And he was like, the fucking slaves are going to join me. Once they find out I have all these guns, the slaves are like, no.

Really? No, dude. We're not going to get killed. Yeah. He's's like come on brothers i was i was thinking but the show the show's a little gay there's moments that they they did one thing that i thought was weird which i have to look who wrote it i would imagine whoever wrote or directed it is a person of color if i had to guess because they made frederick douglas a bit of a dickhead why would they why would a person of color make Frederick Douglass a dickhead?

Well, a white person... You think it was like an Indian guy? No, I'm saying a white person would never do that. Or shouldn't be allowed. To make Frederick... I think actually Ethan Hawke helped direct it as well. You think that was all he had was his message? Frederick Douglass...

People need to know Frederick Douglass was a fucking asshole. Yeah, Frederick Douglass was an arrogant cunt. Was he a dick? In the show, Frederick Douglass was an arrogant cunt. Was he a dick? In the show, he's kind of an arrogant dickhead. He's the man, but he's still like... I don't know. You'd be surprised. Well, to be...

I mean, the show doesn't claim really to be historically accurate. Yeah, yeah. But it's kind of true. I just heard a Douglass quote today, and he was talking about, in order to keep people liking their—I think this was Doug—to keep people like being a slave, they have to be ignorant and not be able to read. So maybe he was just kind of sick of, like, being the only dude who knew how to read. No, he's, like, cocky. Really? He's, like, arrogant and, like, I look good, shit like that.

He was fly. He was pretty fly in the show. He's, like, fly. He has lots of babes. Yeah, dude. I mean, dude, imagine back then. He was— I get it. Frederick Douglas was definitely probably the show. He's like fly. He has lots of babes. Yeah, dude. I mean, dude, imagine back then. He was...

I get it. Frederick Douglass was definitely probably the man. Swagged out. For sure, but I'm saying you've got to see the show.

They make him like an arrogant dickhead versus... That's fucked up, dude. Yeah. Who wrote it? I just listened to a good... Like the story,

it's based off a book. The book or the show? The show. The show is Mark Richardard yeah mark richard mark richard yeah no picture of him i was wrong what was the book what was the book called who was it written by it was a book titled frederick douglas was an asshole it was hard to get a little bird yeah go to the guy what's his name interesting the fucking show rules you would like i would probably ethan hawk fucking spazzing out as John Brown

James McBride James McBride who knows he's an African American man definitely he is oh Jimmy McBride is he actually

yeah no it's all official nice I called it hell yeah yeah the guy for the show is white though directed it's white obviously appropriated it

interesting 40 days yeah 40 days we're gonna come down pretty hard on Yeah, the guy for the show is white, though. Directed it, it's white? Obviously appropriated it. Interesting. 40 days. Yeah, 40 days, we're going to come down pretty hard on any white creative. True. Oh, yeah. They're out. Making music and you're white? Not in this America.

Did you know? We're actually, at 40 days, we're just going to go work at Spotify and be like, Joe Rogan. Get Joe Rogan out of here. Rogan's just fired up, dude. He is, dude. He moved to Texas. He's been standing his ground against Spotify. He moved to Texas to fight lesbians.

He had to get a stronghold. He has to fight the war of jacked dudes versus lesbians. That's the Civil War. Ongoing war. Nobody expected this Civil War. True. Jacked lesbians versus jacked dudes. Yeah. True. That's actually kind of who's fighting right War. Ongoing war. Nobody expected this Civil War. True. Jacked lesbians versus jacked dudes. Yeah.

True. That's actually kind of who's fighting right now. Yeah. When you strip everything away, pretty much jacked dudes versus lesbians. Yeah. Pretty interesting. It's a good Civil War. Yeah, you know.

I mean. And just as many casualties from dysentery as the first one. Everyone's getting fucking dysentery as the first one everyone's getting fucking dysentery uh but yeah you everybody i urge you if you have a showtime subscription check it out check out the good lord bird it's a pretty good listen and then now back to shipwrecks dude i've been actually well it's not shipwreck related what sorry sorry i'm sorry i'm very sorry but dude i'm i've been going through i I've been Cold War-ing with Bae. We're in a Cold War status of just like, fine, it's nothing.

It's a Cold War. Dude, it was like two weeks, bro. You got to set up a proxy war and pay for someone to fight her. Oh. That's like you're Afghanistan or Vietnam. That wouldn't be bad, dude. Yeah. The Cold War fights might be worse than just like full-out arguments.

Yeah. Just being like, I did say that. And what I would like to do, dude, it's the most emotionally draining thing in the world. Oh, God. It's the fucking worst, dude. The Cold War. We settled the war. The hot war is what you need.

You need an absolute just total war. I got to go back to breaking shit. You need to bomb the people that aren't even there. You need to bomb her home front. You need to be like, yeah, well, your mom's a bitch. You know what I mean? You need to take shots at civilians.

Non-belligerents. Yeah, just be like, look, I am very happy. This is very nice, but if you could do one thing for me, and underneath it, you're like...

Yeah, Cold War is the fucking worst. I will say, dude, while Cold War... A lot of espionage. Big time. Checking in on her. See what the... Big time. Big time. Checking in on her. See what the...

Big time. Big time. Looking in the room at her. Watching someone half do the dishes and be like, hmm. Interesting. I thought we had to do those. Right back. All right, didn't do the dishes.

Yep. I do want to start recording. I think that would be really nice. Taking audio recordings. Of your fights? Starting one, yeah. False flagging. Starting one.

And then it's big. Because if I know I'm on tape, I can keep it so i mean i'm not gonna do this obviously yeah dude this is crazy between this and the surveillance state you're already in with your locations true what are you doing i don't know i mean dude honestly for me it was never really i don't know it was something that i resisted and i was like i don't give a fuck like you know i guess it doesn't it truly doesn't matter. But what if you want to do something bad someday? There's always ways to do something bad.

True. You can always do something bad. Just put your phone right here. Go do something bad. Exactly, dude. No, I'm not going to do anything bad. Not going to do anything bad. She's probably espionaging on this.

She could be, but it's like, dude, I've thought about this extensively, and it's like, dude, I, I've thought about this extensively and it's like, dude, to have, and I, you know, this happens to a lot of people, but to have to like go to your family and be like, sorry, I forsook you guys. I needed to come. I had to get pussy. I had to come. I hope my family understands. Yeah, dude.

It's, it's, I can't do it. I'll just fucking, you know. Yeah. But also I, I, I don't like the boy that if you have a son, your son better not resent you. Yeah. I don't like that when dads cheat on their families. Yeah. And then the son's like, my dad's a motherfucker.

It's like, dude, your dad was hard. He was hard and needed to come. And it's bullshit for a 17-year-old son to be like, how could you, dad? It's like, well, go get married. Go be married for a little. Don't fucking from 17, all the bills paid, get eaten pussy left and right. You're like, oh, my God, Dad. I just fucked up.

It's like. It's funny. My mom last night was like, you need to get a girlfriend. You need to go get. My Phil. Phil was like, why don't you go get fucking married? He was just talking shit. And I was like, I've seen how it goes.

I've been around you guys for the last four days. I'm going to stay single for a little. But I need a girlfriend. Yeah, you think you need a girlfriend? I think it's time, dude. I need somebody to be like, all right. You need a girl? Stop playing NCAA.

Yeah. Stop playing the video games. Dude, it is. I need a girlfriend. I need a mommy. It's a good force, dude, under the guise of a woman's just constant, like, what are you doing? What is this?

Don't do drugs. I will say, true, you do need them. My dad swears but my dad was like i would be dead right now buy food food and food and beer alone he's like i'd be dead thankfully i don't grocery shop when i'm home or in new york but at my parents house if there are treats i'd be dead and i stay up like you need a bed to be like aren't you coming to bed you need that all right dude otherwise i won't sleep maybe they are good they're good but you have to temper it you've got to be i mean it drives it drives me fucking nuts like being in a relationship and a girl's like come to bed yeah i'm like i'm doing this but it's usually for the best but it is for the best it is very

because otherwise it's 3 a.m you gotta be taking the virginia tech hokies to another acc championship you have to be careful because then. Not even enjoying the game. Just. Literally just playing it. Well, that's the thing. You'll catch yourself being like, I'm not going to fucking bed. I'm a bit tired.

I'm still not going to fucking bed. Yeah. No, that I like. I like getting on the bed schedule. But then they start like Hansel and Gretel-ing you. I was talking about this today. They try to get you fat. They start being like, I love your chubbies.

And you're like, sweet. It's awesome. Yeah. You love my chubbies. And then you're watching a movie. You love your chubbies. And you're like, sweet, that's awesome. You love my chubbies? And then you're watching a movie and it's just like some fucking actor. He's ripped. He's a 6'4 fucking hot dude. And they're like, oh, my God, he's so hot. And you're like, I thought you liked my chubbies, dude.

Yeah, what happened to my chubbies? Why are you drooling over this guy? I'm pretty sure that guy doesn't have any chubbies at all. You put chubbies on me, and now you're talking about how hot that guy is the chubbiness yeah exactly yeah but yeah they do like to get you fat um right away which is kind of alarming it's kind of weird circuit if you start getting ripped out like right now dude i'm pure goggins i'm just like in my basement pull up sitting the heavy they don't know the heavy bag is something every person needs any kind of domestic situation you need a heavy bag that just every person needs any kind of domestic situation you need a heavy bag that just so they can hear us so you guys will fight and then she literally

hears you go down this not yet i haven't we haven't got we haven't got it's not set up right yet i told her i did tell her i dude i told her before i'm like every time she talks about i'm like you make you see the wig on this thing i'm about to put on this thing but yeah i haven't been it's i still got to make a couple adjustments to it because it's my basement so low the heavy bag all i could practice was just fucking gut punches so i didn't well that's if you're getting domestic violence that's what you gotta do true you said i'd like to kill you bitch i was i was telling bliz i'm just gonna go down there in a denim jacket and roll up the sleeve and practice like 80s bad guy punches like give me my money yeah oh get out of here freak

yeah but now in once biden takes over you're gonna get out of here nazi true get out of here, freak. Yeah, but now once Biden takes over, you're going to get out of here, Nazi. True. Get out of here, white guys. They'll be down there just fighting white old men, dudes. Black women saved us from fascism. Thank you, black women, for voting. I fucking love Philadelphia. Don't you ever make fun of my city.

Gritty. We need community policing. Yeah. You have to train to gut punch a cop someday. True. If a cop steps to you and says black women didn't save America from fascism via the vote. Don't even say that. What do you think is enemy officer?

What is your name? Let me get your name and your badge number right now that's gonna be the community police weapon of choice yeah the uppercut the body shot

uppercut yeah right in the fucking solar plexus is that what that's called yeah solar plexus right in the middle yeah knock him out that's such a good one

dude like look we should talk did you just tell me black women didn't save us from fascism? They did. Did you know that? Yeah, I saw that.

They rocked the vote. Well, it was actually the vote was reliant. We needed white women to show up for the vote. Thank Christ they did again. Latina shit the bed. No, Latinos did okay.

Latinos. Latinos. Latinos. The boys. The lads. The linos the boy the last the last fucked up it was funny i was talking to someone recently and they were uh like the nicest dude in the world and he was he was saying how like he was watching a thing on i think it was like nbc some news channel and they were like saying how well they were like when the results were coming in before you know fucking the dnc rigged the election stole it with fake where they fucking stole it from our boy

Yeah, dude, so he was saying like while that while Trump was doing well initially Rizek right away. They blamed it on minorities like well Latinos kind of ruined Florida for us in terms of their voting blah blah blah And he was like he's cleaning lady was there and he was like these got he was on the phone this friend He's like these goddamn Latinos like fucking around being like he's like he was making fun

of the liberals who were like instantly being like oh it's the Latinos we have to blame this on a minority right away and he was like these goddamn Cubans

these goddamn Ecuadorians and he was like looked up and was like oh fuck god damn it I'm kidding it's a joke lo siento

it's a joke he was just dude fucking he did to himself he was like I'm a Nazi It's a joke. Lo siento. It's a joke. He was just, dude, fucking. He did to himself. He was like, I'm a Nazi. Damn, I can't believe we have so many Nazis. Do you think the Nazis are dead now? 100%.

Do you think they melted like the Wicked Witch? It's like when Mars attacks, dude. He took the one out and the rest of them were just like. I want to watch that. Mars Attacks is so fucking cool. I loved that movie. Jim Brown. Mars Attacks. Yeah. That was actually one of my favorite movies that was if you'd asked me like years ago like what's your favorite movie like mars attacks mars attacks that's one of my that

was my favorite man's fucking big time but yeah i'm just gonna get down there and just get ready to fucking just beat the shit out of white straight men dude not homosexuals i will not be fighting homosexuals what if they're gay and republican i'll suck their dick no i don't know i'll probably punch him in the dick dude just fucking yeah it's time for us to take it to the streets you know what's funny that everybody boarded up those windows and shit and then the there were no riots yeah of course because the republicans lost there's gonna be apparently didn't riot. White supremacists are about to start punching people, dude.

And shooting people. That was a thing. We got to watch out for that. I think one retarded guy yelled at a meeting. Some guy in a barbecue t-shirt. It happens. And they're like,

look at the white supremacists going nuts. It was just a retarded guy. Like, we're not going to let you cheat. It's crazy, man. They did that. The local news did that.

We were talking about that. Did they? They were like, there were some protesters and then it was just a clearly a fucking moron maga hat flag standing on like the steps of the capitol like a retarded lady yeah she was just screaming gibberish of course it's like dude why are you doing that blizz had a good idea he said he was gonna put on a biden hat and trump shirt and just go down there and scream just be like, ah! Yeah, that would rule.

That would be awesome, dude. This guy, we're not friends. His name's Carmen Christopher. He's very funny. What's his problem? We are friends, but he would not want people to know that. Oh, really? We were kind of going to be friends, and then I got canceled, and he's in the woke circle. But he went around and did, he's hilarious.

Him and Connor O'Malley you ever see remember I used to watch those guys they did the Chicago video the Chicago bros

where they were like screaming and there are Cobes remember that I used to be obsessed with these guys and then

I was friends with them for about a week and then I got cancelled and they were like peace bro we still chat he just posted a video

that was very funny he was walking around New York with like a microphone he was doing like live stand up but he would always he started it by being like we did it everybody Joe Biden

and everyone was like woo and he was like now I'm going to tell you guys some jokes people were like boo pretty great

pretty awesome shout out Karma Chris pretty tight yeah but dude we're going to unite the nation Joe Biden's going to unite all of us. It's time for Joe to unite.

You guys will be friends again. Once we get the vaccine, which, you know. The vaccine, thankfully, Joe's already on it somehow. He's been doing it behind the scenes. This is what I'm telling you about. This is what you don't understand about the president, dude. All we need is the right one. And then everyone will be happy and everything will be good.

Yes. It's that simple, dude. If we get a good person towards the end of their life to occupy the highest power of the highest office important we're good dude come on especially kamala yeah dude i'm so fucking i was getting ready for you to make a joke i would never seriously unload on you dude i would never don't do the fucking kamala the historic fucking significance never fuck dude finally we got an Indian in the White House. We needed an Indian.

We needed a powerful Indian woman. So this is something they've attacked her for. Not attacked, but like, you know, Drew trying to took away some of her POC thunder. Is she not black? I think people are trying to say she's half. She's Jamaican. She done bubbled the cloth Jamaican, ma.

She like, I'm a vice president now, ma. Are we allowed to do Jamaican accent? I think you can, Jamaica, ma. She's like, I'm a vice president now. Are we allowed to do Jamaican accent? I think you can, yeah, totally. I think as long as you don't put on the hat with fake dreadlocks, you're fine. That's why you can still do Jamaican. There's so many white people. The people that police. Wait, Chet Hanks does it? Chet Hanks is the goat, dude.

That guy rules. He also did a pro-Biden Jamaican accent. Pussy boy. Dude, I was so hyped for that uh chad hanks rules chad hanks track one chat one and uh the problem the reason we're still allowed to make fun of jamaican accents is because all of the rich kids that police cancel culture all the improv kids were rich so they went to jamaica as kids every single anti-cancel culture kid has a picture of them as a girl with cornrows and hookah shells or puka shells in their hair dude so you're allowed

to stay the boy that boy true because they won't get you on that because if they do you'll go you basically did blackface with your hair they did a little bit ago did you ever hear the argument against uh why what the fuck was it so there was an argument saying like all right well if black You basically did blackface with your hair a little bit ago. Did you ever hear the argument against why... What the fuck was it? There was an argument saying, if black women throw blonde wigs in their hair all the time, why can't a white chick throw in some braids? And the argument against it is

somewhere in New Guinea or something, there's black people with blonde hair. They're like, sweet, there's some people there, therefore it's... You can only have hair that your ancestors had. see, there's some people there, therefore it's blonde hair. You can only have hair that your ancestors had. It's kind of, yeah, it's kind of the thing.

So like, well, technically there's like people over there. It's just a weird argument. Now that we're getting down to it, we're getting down to it. We got about a few more months. We got 40 days to get our racial complaints out.

True. Before Biden takes office and then we'll never talk about race again, I promise. Well, no, we will, but it'll be about the white race, dude, and not in a good way. Hi, welcome to episode 405.

Fuck, I fucking hate myself, dude. Fuck. No, Matt, come on, man. I know. Look. Oh, yeah, I was reading this one that was breaking down the races for voting. Yeah.

Stop doing that. It's weird, dude. Yeah, for sure. Because in the comments are like look i'm a latina woman i gotta admit we fucked up black women thank you so much for carrying this and it's like dude what are you doing yeah stop with this fucking break it's crazy no it's crazy we're all americans you know us yeah we know you we're all gonna be in the suburbs one day we're gonna be americans Come on.

Well, it's funny, too, because it's like as just, you know, taking away the moral aspect of it. It's odd. As a system of like trying to arrange millions of people by like an abstract, like, you know, like there's your skin color. Therefore, I can predict and, you know, say everything about you. It just doesn't work. It doesn't work. Like, you know, white people did it to black people. And like, hey, you know, you got to do this. You can't do this.

You got to do this. And then, you know, now it's like, you know, white people did it to black people. And like, hey, you know, you got to do this. You can't do this. You got to do this. And then, you know, now it's like, you know, Ty's turn to hit white people with it. And they're like, hey, we hate racism so much that we're going to attack white people based on the color. And it's like, you know, whatever. I'm not even, you know, I'm not mad. Good for white people for at least staying true

to how we attack things. You know what I mean? Like, we used to attack people for not being white. That's always been the barometer. It's like, oh, wait, are you white? Get out of here if you're not. And then now it's like, wait, are you white? Get out of here if you're not. And then now it's like, wait, are you white? That's bad.

Did you know you were bad? Good barometer. The problem is if you take some... That's a little barometric pressure, huh? What do you know about that? Barometric pressure, bro? What do you know about that? Dude, that was like...

That came along after the hygrometer. What is it? The pressure of the atmosphere, bro. What's the pressure of the atmosphere? What's the pressure of the atmosphere? It's just how heavy the fucking air is. I don't know, dude. What the fuck?

What the fuck, dude? I'm talking about race right now. Dude, don't you dare white-splain the weather to me, you fucking asshole. I'm sorry. You're right. We need more POCs in weather,

not just that one guy, Al Roker. True, and not that hot lady from Telemundo either, dude. Stop staring at her ass, Tell us about the weather. Byron Allen owns the Weather Channel. Who? By about the weather. Byron Allen owns the Weather Channel. Who? Byron Allen does?

Byron Allen owns the Weather Channel. No, Byron Allen, the comics guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Byron Allen owns the weather? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So wait, the blacks control the weather? I knew it, dude. Basically, the Jews, the blacks are the Jews.

Blacks are the Jews. Damn, I don't want to put these dots together. My mind's automatically doing it. You did it. The Jews do control the weather. Byron Allen, black Israelite, Jew. The true Israelites. The weather is actually going to be, if you're in the meteorological community, you know the weather is about to be taken up by the Department of Defense.

The weather will be taken up by a brand. Yeah, they're controlling it. There has been a program at DARPA where they have to try to destabilize other countries. That's a thing that they've actually done. Yes. I heard Alex Jones talk about that a while ago. Yeah, it's real. They might not have done it, but somebody was like,

hey, do you think we could cause a tornado over there? Yeah. And they're like, we'll get the weather. We'll get Glenn, the Hurricane Schwartz. Imagine him just being like, hey, guys, bring your could cause a tornado over there? Yeah. And they're like, we'll get the weather. We'll get Glenn, the Hurricane Schwartz. Imagine him just being like, hey, guys, bring your umbrella. And then he goes around. He's like, yeah, we'll do it as a fucking C5 with these motherfuckers. Let's fucking hit them with a fucking hurricane.

Make it 150 degrees there for a week. Hey, guys, you're going to want to bring your sunblock. You're at war with the United States. We are going to turn the weather against you. You should have listened to us. They wanted to do it initially to like, you know, like, can we, how could we, you know, it's like if we're flying over somewhere, we need visibility, you know, and they're like, could we, is there a way we can kind of break up fog a little bit?

And then someone was like, I think we can make a tornado. Can we send a nadir over there? We can probably create hurricanes. This is what causes it. Yeah. So that'd be tight. Dude, I'm on Sicario. That's what you is what causes it. Yeah, so. That'd be tight. Dude, I'm on Sicario.

That's what you need to be on. Yeah. You're trying to control drugs. I'm trying to control the weather. Yeah, but it's the same thought process of just like people, white guys going behind the scenes. For now, dude. They're going to get ousted from weather control soon. They're not going to like it.

Weather control? Yeah, they're going to get ousted. Whites, dude, not gonna like it weather control yeah they're gonna get out of whites dude the fucking it's always gonna be look whites need the fall true we need fall weather please poc byron allen poc when you take over the weather it can't always be summer you guys can't always be having damn block parties i'm sorry i'm sorry too many damn block parties we need winter true true time for you guys to go back inside it's so dude if you if you live in a predominantly black neighborhood i remember i lived on uh 37th melon and dude you're all your buddies all your neighbors they just fucking leave you for like

four months you're like yeah where did everybody go winter i was just a lone honk dude in a black neighborhood riding my bike home from work in the winter and just be like, where are all my buddies, dude? They must see white people out during the winter and be like, these people are nuts. It's 20 degrees out and these fuckers are walking around out there. Taking pictures like, yeah, we like that kind of stuff. Good weather. I need the fall. I love the fall, dude.

I was just sitting out back in my parents' house watching the leaves fall one by one, getting ready for Notre Dame Clemson mentally. It's super racist when people attack us for pumpkin spice. It is super racist. Yeah, dude, that's fucked up, man. Pumpkin spice is good. It's very nice. I will say this.

Fried chicken is significantly better. Their stereotypes is even better there. Is that who he said? Indians or something? I don't even know stereotypes. I i don't even know i got mib flash from all my stereotypes when biden got that last electoral vote i was like what who eats what now who controls all the money the italians i don't understand do the italians control all the money the only thing i remember is that black people are the truism of the lights. That's the only thing I maintain.

Because I was thinking about it as I got daft. Because that's not a stereotype. That's just the truth. Exactly. Come on, man. If you doubt me, check my Twitter. I actually posted Hitler's writings. Didn't he post Hitler's writings?

To Sean Jackson? Yeah. Why was that? Because he was quoting him about how white... First off, it was a misquote. Did Hitler write that black... It was a misquote. Hitler didn't write this.

But that doesn't let Deshaun Jackson off the hook. He was trying to quote Hitler. Careful, dude. Off the hook. That's not racist. No, I'm not saying off the hook. I'm just saying. I didn't use a bad analogy there.

Saying that Deshaun Hitler... I wasn't saying it anywhere. I'm saying careful saying that Deshaun Hitler wasn't able to quote... Deshaun Hitler. Deshaun Jackson. Deshaun Jackson. Careful saying to sean jackson wasn't supposed to quote hitler because sean jackson was he accidentally didn't quote hitler he was trying to quote hitler that's what's funny about it people like he didn't even quote hitler that hitler didn't say that it's like well he thought hitler said that who's i don't know it's gibberish It was made up gibberish. It was just like Marx? It was just like Hitler.

Yeah, it was Karl Marx. No, he's like Hitler said that it was something about like white people are going to be shocked when they find out the true Jews are black and they've been treated bad. Which it's like, first off, Hitler would have, this is crazy because Hitler didn't treat who he thought the true Jews were pretty good, you know? He wasn't like being nice to the real Jews. I wonder what Hitler, yeah, how do hitler like felt about black people back then maybe hitler he wasn't a big fan really he wasn't not at all no i don't think he liked better i

think he liked the whites the most he liked who did hitler like better jewish people or black people be honest truthfully i think he liked black people more than jews sick i think he really had a but he didn't know the truth if If he had known the truth, then... I think perhaps Hitler did know the truth. You think so? And that's why he was trying to get... He was like, get these imposters out of here. We got a couple more days.

Black people are the only people to beat Hitler at the Olympics. To beat Hitler at the Olympics? Yeah, Jesse Owens. That was just one event. White people won mother medals, too. I know. I was just saying, we beat them, though. No, we didn't germany won that those olympic games medals medal wise germany won yeah yeah i believe look you can say whatever you want about hitler don't talk about don't talk

about the 36 games dude the 30s they see that ring that's the 36 games get you one of these you can look that's like taking away OJ's Heisman. True, dude. It's like technically you can take away the Heisman, but we all know who won. Yeah, exactly. We know who won. Yeah, dude. Say what you want, but the Germans were flying that year.

Great. They were all on meth and steroids. They were all on meth. Just like... The heart was beating 300 beats a minute. Pole vaulting. Dude, imagine being a Nazi pole vaulter. Just fucking running.

If you didn't hit the thing, you died. If you knew the Fuhrer was watching. And you just get smoked by a black dude in a foot race. Come on, man. You're asking a lot. Yeah. That would have been a fun day, though. What, the German Olympics?

So the Germans crushed... I just watched the thing. I believe Germany's medal count won the 1936 Olympics. Stoners, Google that. Look it up. Try not to be too biased, dude. I think the medal count in the U.S. was second. Really?

That's what's up. Yeah, man. Exactly right. Bam. Who knows 1936 Olympics like me? me and why just that year by nine gold medals they won yeah they were killing it yeah us came in second with 24 germany had 33 i think there was like but some of the events were like riding a horse through like a swamp it's not fair they were just doing wild events german shit yeah just absolute german bullshit

yeah dude yeah i was reading a little Beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche. But there were quotes, I will say this, and a lot of people point to this, that like Owens was over there and he was like, I've never been treated better. So there was shit like that, but that's because... Was that what Deshaun Jackson was quoting? Yes. Deshaun Jackson's... You can probably find Deshaun Jackson's quote.

Yeah, find out what he was actually quoting from the last one. I'm curious. He was quoting Farrakhan. He was quoting Farrakhan, who I think in turn was quoting Hitler. So he was paraphrasing. Deshaun Jackson was quoting Hitler, like he was trying to. Damn, that sucks when you're trying to quote Hitler. I mean, a Farrakhan quote is good too, but it sucks when you're trying to quote Hitler.

What are you trying to do there, LeMay? You trying to act like he wasn't quoting Hitler? No. I appreciate your loyalty. Your brand loyalty. It was like a Snapchat or Instagram story. It's a book and it says

Hitler said, and it was highlighted, it says, because the white Jew knows that the Negroes are the real children of Israel and to keep America secret, the Jews will blackmail America. They will extort America. Their plan for world domination won't work if the Negroes know who they are. The white citizens of America will be terrified to know that all this time they've been mistreating

and discriminating and lynching the children of Israel. Oh, so, okay. Deshawn. He was just quoting Farrakhan. Fair enough. Literally, it says Hitler said. That was a Hitler quote that he posted. What he thought was a Hitler quote, he tried to share.

Was that a Hitler quote? No, it was not. That's a true question. It was not a Hitler quote. Farrakhan slandered Hitler, basically? Pretty much. He libeled Hitler? Yes.

That's such a weird twist of logic. Look, Hitler said... Yeah, that wasn't actually Hitler, so he's fine. He footnoted his bibliography was like hitler page 32 yeah it was like jews get your fucking bestseller knock it the fuck off could you cut it out i'm trying to run a damn country now all those books are like get your fucking shit now pussy yeah yeah yeah how to be a kick-ass woman yeah that. That was Hitler's first book. It was like 10 ways to be a kick-ass Nazi. So he was quoting Farrakhan, but he was like, look, man, even Hitler knew the truth about Jews and black people.

Yeah. And then everybody was like, no, you keep your job. And then he got hurt and hasn't done shit. Really? Yeah. Deshaun Jackson sucks. Damn, dude. I mean, what was his point to show, like, look, Hitler knew the truth?

His point was that the Jews aren't the true Israelites. That's what Deshaun Jackson was trying to say. That black people were the true Jews and that white people who were lynching them were going to be pretty upset when they found out they were lynching Jews, which I think is pretty funny to imagine. Some dude in the South that just lynched a black guy for a false crime being like, you're telling me he was Jewish? Oh, my God.

I wouldn't have done that. I'm just so uncomfortable why this conversation, dude, is now a new progressive and a liberal. It's like, what do I do when black guys are doing racially unsavory things? I'm just going to be silent. This isn't my time. True. Like when Deshaun Jackson quotes Hitler.

That's like the bug in a Westworld bot's software when you're like, I don't know what to do about this. I'll just be quiet. When a black guy's like, yo, Hitler was right. You're like, another word about my privilege.

Sorry? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know where we're going with this, but I'm sorry. You're just following it like a grenade. You're like, no, Deshaun, get I'm sorry. You just followed it like a grenade. You're like, yeah.

Deshaun, get out of here. Hitler was right. That's the least I can do for you, brother. Deshaun, thank you so much. Thank you for this opportunity. Now get out there and tear your hamstring, week one. And us looking the other way for your Hitler comment. Yeah, dude. That's the only thing you do as a white man.

It was worthless. If you hear a black person saying something racially unsavory. I get so pumped, dude. You've got to scream like a hateful thing. I get so pumped. Just take the heat off them, dude. That's the only thing you do as a white person. It was worthless. If you hear a black person saying something racially unsavory, I get so pumped, dude. You've got to scream like a hateful thing. I get so pumped. Just take the heat off them, dude. Yeah, true. If I hear a black dude start spouting off about like Hitler and shit.

You start doing like an Indian accent. Be like, oh, oh, oh. So like, hey, there he is. Oh, oh, oh. I got it. That's the least you can do to weaponize your privilege. Please. You do need to weaponize your privilege you do need to weaponize your privilege don't weaponize it too much and start defending the white race

don't weaponize it that much enough to get a non-profit started so you can draw from the salary for doing basically nothing what a time where are we at time wise 58 look at that, dude. That's about right.

Sliding back in. Dude, yeah, I'm excited. Dude, I'm excited. I think everyone who's worried, I think you can chill. Everything's good. I know, you know what? People are going to be upset that we gave up on the Trump chain. We were never really on it.

Sometimes we were. I won't speak for Matt. I apologize. Sometimes we were. I won't speak for Matt. I apologize. But just fuck it, dude. Stop.

Shut up, everybody. Look, they kicked and screamed. They screamed for four years, and then everybody was like, shut the fuck up. Here, you can have it. I know it sucks to reward people for such behavior. We had to board up all the wahawas just in case they lost bullshit because white people were gonna go break wawas yeah and then the true israelites would probably come in and steal some fucking chips and shit true israelites do fucking love riots it is funny

it is a funny reaction to being like i'm my whole entire like i'm i'm threatened my whole entire existence is threatened on like the you know my racial makeup i'm gonna go now take consumer goods yeah i'm gonna i need you know what for this i will take a large tv and i'll still be mad it's like no we're even you got the flat screen true it's not enough deal it's just a strange reaction man it's a you know it's not it's not i, dude. It's just a strange reaction, man. It's not a very... No, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about the true Israelites looting targets. What I'm talking about...

You're talking about the white guy who breaks the window and plays tricks. I'm talking about it's just funny that we had to board up all these shops just in case the left lost. Yeah. And then we all have to sit there and be like, how bad is the right? Yeah. It's like we literally were threatened with violence in this country if the left didn't get their way yeah that seems like a problem to me it's pretty bad granted i'm good i don't want the shit to continue i hope trump shuts the fuck up i even if he did get cheated

which is a massive crime fuck it i don't care i don't want to deal with it i'm lazy let it go but rewarding people by threatening everybody with violence is bad. And I think that's what we just did. Yeah. In my opinion. I think you're right. What's also, too, it's like, dude, to get caught up in the spectacle of it and just be like, I mean, that's the other thing, too. It's like, I don't have a restaurant right now.

It's not really a spectacle. True. If you guys shut down right now, I'm like, dude, get the fuck out of here. That's a weird thing, too, how people are getting so comfortable. I'm friends with the guys at the stand, and I talk to them a lot, and they're like, get the fuck out of here that's that's a weird thing too how people are getting so comfortable i'm friends with the guys at the stand and i talk to them a lot and they're like we need to fucking open i mean like every restaurant club and all that shit in new york's like no we're done we just are gonna open to be honest we're just gonna open they should yeah they kind of are yeah i would that's something like you know and then fucking what's his name

is snitching on him that motherfucker he's snitching It's Snitchin' on him. That motherfucker. He's Snitchin' on him. He's an asshole. Fuck him. He literally is like, they're not following the exact rules that de Blasio set out. It's like, dude, kill yourself. Yeah, that's like really shitty. Yeah. Or like, you know, people can fuck around and argue on Twitter and shit. But yeah, like going after like, not even someone in entertainment, like a dude who

owns a restaurant's livelihood or like a comedy club. It's like, dude, you're a fucking asshole. He's just targeting Italians, dude. That's fucked up. The owners of the stand are Italians. You'd think they would be true Israelites.

They're Italians. You'd think they'd be some pseudo-Israelites. They're wops, dude. Really? Yeah. Dude, yeah, if you own a restaurant,

just fucking keep it open. If everyone stops being a pussy about it, please don't be a pussy about this. If you don't want to go to a restaurant right now, don't fucking go to a restaurant. If you want to go, go to a fucking restaurant.

Yeah, go to a restaurant, dude. Go to TGI Fridays. Black out. But yeah, hopefully people are just waking up to stop pouring their life frustrations into it. I think also with the COVID thing, I think people will relax on it. I think to me it seemed a lot like the left was just trying to exacerbate problems. You know what I mean? Like, everybody was like, we can't do that because of the fucking virus.

And the things are so bad. It's like, now that you won, it's like, oh, we're getting a vaccine. Things are all right. Things are looking up. Hope is back. For sure, dude. I mean, they threw a little party. Yeah, dude, it's like, go to your family's parties.

Do your thing, you know? Yeah. We just canceled the Gillis family Christmas. A lot of travel. A lot of geezers. Yeah, it's true. It was a good party. Yeah, dude. It's like, go to your family's parties. Do your thing. Yeah. We just canceled the Gillis family Christmas. A lot of travel. A lot of geezers. Yeah. It was a good call. It was a good call.

A lot of... It's sad. What are you guys going to do? What are we going to do? Yeah. Are you going to have a small nuclear family party? Yeah, probably. That's what's up.

That'll be fun. Yeah. With the kids. I think there's people saying, don't even do that. They can suck our dicks. Yeah. Although, I don't know. I might have to

skip thanksgiving now too i'll be in kansas city the day after thanksgiving come on kansas city come on we're going this week this week tomorrow so by the time this thing comes out for sure i'll be at zany's in nashville the next night the 11th i'll be at huntsville stand up live in huntsville alabama the 21st, November 21st. Are you going to do that with me, that Soul Joel show? Oh, yeah. You want to do that? I'll be there.

We'll be at Royersford. Yeah, it's outdoor, but they're building like a tent with like – I won't go inside a building in Bynes, America, dude. True, true. In Bynes, America, we need to take the coronavirus very serious. For sure, 100%. We should have done this in a mask. True.

November 21st, me and Matt will be doing some stand-up at Royersford, Pennsylvania. So I'll tweet out that. Outdoor, right? Yeah. It's outdoors. Listen, I know all my conservative fans are very concerned about the virus now. Don't worry. It'll be outdoors.

It's the sacred site that big Jay Oakerson got yanked off the stage. Yeah, it's the sacred site of the Islamic extremist attack on Jay Oakerson. I'll be working security detail while Shane's doing his headlining. Yeah, true. If another large man gets yanked off the stage. Not on my watch, bro. It's cursed. I mean, that might happen on Louis J. Gomez's watch, but not on mine, dude.

True. That guy wouldn't even have made it to there, dude. No. That would have been the atmosphere. Well, you probably wouldn't have done crowd work like Louis to set that up. You probably would have been like, fuck you, cunt bitch. like lewis to set that up you probably would have been like fuck you cunt bitch the 27th and 28th the comedy club of kansas city of november come on now come down to that the fourth and fifth of december i'm back in auburn alabama i got a lot of back to bammer fourth and

fifth in december alabama december the 11. What are you going to do for your birthday? Eat your pussy. You should roast yourself for your birthday. December 17th, 18th, 19th. Stress Factory. New Brunswick.

New Jersey. Goddamn, dude. Yeah, it's going to be fun. We're going to have a lot of fun here coming up, guys. As a group. It's time. Let's put the past behind us.

Let's put the past four years behind us, guys. A lot of nasty things were said. Can we just forget about it and move on? it is funny to think about of people like getting fired like to sit on twitter make i need my guy to win and meanwhile it's just like you know maybe like we're getting distracted while they just like blow people up and murder hundreds of thousands of people which again it's like i don't think they did they haven't killed a hundred thousand apparently they didn't kill that that was the big argument apparently trump didn't go into any wars so it's like trump was that was that because of

stuff trump did some wild shit i mean you know he blew up an iranian general yeah blew up the bay oh yeah he was getting wild he was getting wild and bag daddy that's isis he killed an iranian literally in the government's general damn he just blew him up and then he was like do something i think you've set the stage That's the other thing too. It's like, was that because of the stuff before? Everything's piggybacked. Like,

our good stuff is from the last time. No, no, we did the good stuff. It's like, dude. I don't know anything. I do know racism's gone.

Done. It's gone. January? Oh, 40 more days. Yeah, we still got 40 more days to get out some bad words.

So get them out. If you got them in there, if you feel like you have a bad word in you, get it out quietly. Safely. Secret. Secret. Maybe in your own car.

I think you got to safely dispose them. You have to put them in a box. Yeah, it's like nuclear waste. You got to build a mountain in Nevada just to shove them in. Yeah, I'm going to have a collection site. You should have a cave that you just open and it's just like the N word.

20 million N words. All right, all right, all right. That's no good. This is... Yes, there you go. 20 million alright alright that's no good this is yes there you go no that is good that's very funny that's where we store

our nuclear waste and all the n-words we say unironically saying things are unironically when we're accidentally when you actually

say bad words yeah also too I have a I got a couple little secret projects going on, dude. Psych Nol website will be out just in time for Christmas time. There's going to be a lot of boys having a tough Christmas this year, dude.

Yeah, you think? A lot of sad boys having, yeah. They had their Trump sweater ready. They're like. Oh, yeah. A lot of our guys are probably pretty bummed. I get it. Look, you can be bummed.

You're allowed to be bummed. But don't let it take up too much time. No. Because it doesn't matter at all. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I'm telling you, it doesn't at all. It literally doesn't matter.

You'll be all right. And we're getting united, so. We are getting united by the liberals really literally dancing in your fucking face. Don't worry. We'll all be forcibly instilled with a sense of new morality. It'll be totally fine. Yeah, it's going to be fine.

Totally nothing. Nothing's wrong here. Or, you know. That's cool you got that website coming. What else? Is that the secret? That's one of the top secret projects. A couple little creations coming.

What else? I can't say until they're done. Yeah, not really that secret, but they're not done, so I don't want to waste time on myself. I guess we got secret projects. I got a secret project going too. Really? I'll show got secret projects. I got a secret project going, too. Really?

I'll show you the rest. Yeah. We got some secret stuff going on, but it's like no website. That's because it underbinds America. You and me are going to have fun. True, dude. We will have fun. We got to bring fun back.

It's time to bring fun back. Let's make America fun again. Yeah, dude. That's what I'm talking about. You guys. Who cares who wins elections? I'll tell you what. Doesn't matter.

Have some fun. Yeah. Notre Dame's undefeated. Have some fun. Shut your restaurant down. Stop being a pussy. Open that thing back up open it up for real just i'll give you the first close you know people are scared bro if that was my livelihood i mean i'm not i'm not pure criminal anymore but like bro that's that shit's not yeah

open the restaurant if i'm doing something illegally and like you can't do that it's like go fuck yourself yeah yeah i'm gonna locked up over some fucking cheeseburgers some breakfast alright we gotta close this thing breakfast will be cool that'll be nice I'm excited to get excited to do fucking Soul Joel's fucking outdoor gig I'm gonna yank you off stage dude you say one thing in Biden's America that I don't like

first of all if you see a comedian right now in Biden's America if you don't like what they're saying rush the stage punch them in the fucking mouth you have to fight them dude what did you say? can you stop this?