Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 350 - Champagne and Mushrooms (feat. Chris O'Connor)

Episode Date: June 3, 2021

This weekend. Was in fact. A movie. The D.A.W.G.Z. head back to the big apple to recount the events that took place. They're joined by their ol' pal Chris O'Connie at The Stand Restaurant & Comedy Club.    Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod

Dude Cardini is Bruce Springsteen man. We're talking about me and Noah talking on the way up. Yeah, we picked him up He's in a Bruce Springsteen town. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that town Absolute brings Bruce Springsteen. I played dancing in the dark as soon as I picked him up play as soon as you stepped in I picked him up and I played some T-Pain Joe, that's what I played for him Where have you been fishing fishing in the creek? I've seen the fishing hole. He's trying to get on Rogan

I'm a bit of a sportsman myself. I'm a bit of a sportsman myself, Mr. Rogan Hey, Joe, I'm a bit of a sportsman. Yeah, there's a you know, they like take old factories Factories now and they make them into apartment things and like the whole allure is like this used to be a chocolate factory Yeah, there's one near him That was a snuff factory and he was telling me is where all the divorced dads go so they get divorced they move into the snuff Yeah, they said make snuff our process tobacco in a snuff Oh, okay, so it's just a bunch of guys like powdery tobacco haze Riding dried tobacco in a powder and there's he's that's where all the fucking divorced dads go live in the snuff factory

It is Bruce Springsteen town And there's a park behind that where he fishes Which just dads on visitation just every dad whenever you're out there fishing they must stare out their windows on that side of the building and watch Yeah, you got a lord Reminds me of my boy that I lost. That's my home. I always right now. Look at Do you have a microphone so you think you should be talking We keep asking him questions We had a cardina he goes and fishes and one of the one of the estranged dads gave him a lure try to gift him a lure

Really? Yeah Well, we'll have to deck this room out give him a producer's mic we could probably make this right Mm-hmm. Yeah, I could have gotten another mic They asked me how many mics we use true But we need three of the same last time it was hell and post trying to fix that one really except for Mike Ari was so loud really I had to drop him down about 13 decibels. Yeah, pick you up to DB's Thank you. You got a really fucking lunch these things dude. Yeah But the cool yeah, whatever we won't talk about post-edit, but I was about to go into like 10 more minutes

They're pretty cool. It's track by track. No, nobody cares to what the fuck's up. No, I know it is fresh It is frustrating editing editing sound trying to get noise out of it. I heard it. Yeah, so we do see guys I want to hear about that bullshit. No dude, especially after the fucking weekend dude. Oh Okay, are you ticked? Do you want to talk about I'm fucking out? No, we got a bug in your crawler. Just go It's just one of those days You want to wake up I didn't I am terse I'm fucking out. I'm mad Piss off

I'm not sure why your ass is chapped. I'm something's wrong Fucking chapped. I'll get there. I'm telling you man. I have I don't think anything can ever bother me ever again after the weekend we had That was the it was insane. It was fun. I was great one of the funnest times in my life when I try to explain it to people they're like That's that's that's how you have fun. Yeah, yeah, that was exactly that was fun Yeah, what happened? I heard that I heard the whole weekend. Oh my god, dude, so it's bloated Yeah, stop me if I miss anything, but it was like we went to we did the battlefield thing That was so sick that we're working on that right now that should be out on patreon

But the so we went and we toured a battlefield all day long. Yeah, none of us really ate anything all day We had stopped at roadside quote-unquote barbecue, but it was just hot roast beef that I think they like Put liquid smoke in This is a you want some of that pit meat and it was like this is Nick's hot roast be this is lunch Yeah, it was lunch meat that just somehow tasted smoky. What a sweet lady though. She was an angel Sweetheart, absolutely. There was nothing but angels down there Yeah, like I just sweet 40 year old ladies who just like just took care of us that lady gave gardenia free soda

She minded my fucking gluten allergy. Yes, although. I will say that gluten allergy. I'm said that might be what I'm at it You mad at my good analogy conversation that lasted four minutes. It's real. We we Celiax So we're already running late for the show and then we're standing there plenty of time I went to like nine electronic stores before What dude the tech was a fucking set up the tech was a Tech was a question mark. What time did you arrive at the show? We were cutting it close we had no time for

It's just a bag for a cashier to explain her fucking gluten allergy for fucking her son had a celiac I don't care who it was. I hope he passes from it What was wrong, so what was the problem? So I was ordering I'm like can I just get just the beef and she's like give a gluten allergy And I was like Fucking chill lady. I want anyone to fucking know so like she was like my son has celiacs on my head I'm like, all right, whatever. She did talk. It was enough like I can talk gluten all day. Yes And even I watched Matt run into another yeah gluten allergy Enthusiasts even I was like, all right enough. What's the difference everyone hates us dude?

We're like early Christians dude. Everyone wants to snub us out. Celiacs is more severe Everyone wants to bring I would toss you the lines Like came to you I was like, I think I had a cross-contamination You'd be like to fucking get in I have to fight my way out I'm happy to all those guys. Yeah, you're like Danny fall their way. Yeah, dude He was like did someone do chicken fingers in that fryer. Was that dedicated for french fries? They're like, what the fuck? Ah, what are your symptoms? They're very vague. Oh They're real. Oh, yeah, the this lady talked about

You know, like the symptoms of gluten allergy can be experienced neurologically you start to affect your brain really how that's why I'm such a J's Retarded But yeah, so the lady talked about her son like she went through the full weeks like the panels She's like well first we thought it was nightshade vegetables. Yeah, and this was after she's like Why don't you take a minute to look at the menu and she walked away? She walked away so I'm gonna stand there and we're both like everybody's just like I'll get a sandwich Yeah, ring a bell. We buzzed her again. She comes back and has hit us with like her son's like digestive history

Hmm and then how they finally narrowed down that he was allergic to everything actually and then he was okay And then she was like, what can I get you? It was it was a long conversation. Oh, yeah And then she proceeded they narrowed down that he's allergic to everything. Yeah Grass He's just great. He's not made for this world. Yeah, then she gave us our stuff and it was yeah It was it was lunch meat that have been boiled with a little bit of liquid smoke up in the mix. I think these guys Sean Gardini had We can do so then on the way there on the way to the battlefield

Yeah, we stop at Dunkin Donuts. Sean Sean gets a bagel. What cream cheese? That's fine. I'm not although. Yeah, I like that I like that energy Like that energy. I'm sorry. I stopped you for being outraged. I fasted. I just bought batteries I went bought batteries at the local grocery store all day. Oh and then I Finished my sandwich and I said, all right, let's go You have sauces I can show on immediately crumbled up his bagel and a pure panic Have he still had half his bagel left? He just yeah, he was like, oh shit. We have to go Yeah, and just destroyed his own sandwich

He was done. He was full. So I'm gonna stuff like very easily. I'd like to stuff him You had sausage I can see right You're baking a you strike me as a sausage I can see you guys I do like sausage I can which what did you have that day? I don't recall. I was I think bacon I think I had a bacon I can see croissant That's nice. That's see. That's where you go. I like that's the only thing besides a donut at Dunkin Donuts Yeah, I will allow croissant sandwich. Yeah, it's decadent. Yeah. Yeah, it's good

It's good and it's smashed down a little bit. Yeah, it's always smashed because Duncan has some of the worst fucking food Crazy how bad I've never had indigestion like I do if you get a breakfast sandwich from Dunkin Yeah, ruins your dad But it's kind of like McDonald's in the way that it the way that it tastes bad is good SpongeBob when mr. Crabb uses filler for the craps daddy They're disgusting Did you watch a lot of SpongeBob no my niece watches

It's so good. Yeah, really SpongeBob's hilarious I've seen a few episodes and they have been pretty entertaining. I'll be honest. Yeah, SpongeBob's like it's good watching Yeah, so yeah, Gardini has it Gardini's full Shane doesn't know this about it. Gardini has a bird belly Shane doesn't know that Shane's a guy. Let's roll and Gardini just He was just excited to be able to wrap that thing up because you don't want to eat half a bagel Yeah, bros make the fuck dude. Yeah bros are always making sure we don't waste. Yes So he was like looking for an excuse to crunch that thing like let's roll and he just went smash the backseat the backseat tried to hide their lack of

Eating food at the last one kill it. I think they see he's acting up. Well They'll probably take a while to turn off. Yeah, that's all right kill it Um, yeah, so yeah the whole weekend was so we went to the Civil War battlefield before we go to the Civil War battlefield Gardini was half a bagel And we were like me and Shane were like what the fuck do you have some respect for the Civil War soldiers? Yeah, we were like not eating for weeks to fight for you to not have slavery, dude Imagine if we still had slavery how fucking brutal everything would be right now We'd be even more divided right now

People starved to death and died you got shot in the face so that you didn't have fucking slavery right now and have to you know Get even pestered even harder online So he was a bagel so we're giving him hell dude we go to the battlefield it was just it was God damn dude. It was like something. It was crazy the battlefield was sick on the way home we get the sandwiches here about the gluten allergy and then Gardini and fucking Nate eat like each eat like a quarter of their sandwich. He's unbelievable stuffed them back in the bag I tried to hide it. Yeah, he tried to hide it. He was boozing hard the night before. No It was hung over, just eating light. Oh you guys were hung over. Yeah, Sean and Nate were getting they got turned every night

Yeah, Nate was drinking like whiskey on the rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Sean and Nate got fucking. Oh, you guys were turned up before this All credit to Sean so they had an open mic And Sean gets on and does the open mic and there's a dude. That's just clearly on cocaine. Yeah, like clearly he came in Me and Sean were sitting outside He came and sat like on Sean and was like check this fucking video out and it was like a Drake mashup with like Empire the Sun in fact, I remember exactly what it was and then I was like you're on coke, right? He's like no No, I'm not

And then so he goes this guy sits at the bar like right in front of every comedian that's doing the open mic And he's just constantly yelling shit at everyone and then Sean's up there like Talking about having a son or a kid or something. He asked the guy if he wants to have a kid and he's like, yeah, of course I want to have a kid and he's like, what would you name your kid? retard junior It was a home run I had had a few drinks I wasn't hammered but I had enough that I thought it'd be fun to heckle Sean and Nate while they were both doing their

little skits You're the back heckler. I was in the back just no matter what they said. I would just yell it out I'm like, holy shit. This is hilarious. God. It's so fucking funny Yeah, it's great, but then Sean just took it out on that guy. Oh I was proud of you. God, I was good. Yeah, I went right to bed. I was so tired Friday night I was I had no sleep dude that whole weekend. I like got no sleep the night before I went down there rush down there Still stayed up later than I intended to and you got what time do you stay up till that night? I went to bed I'm 130. Yeah, I probably went to bed around then I left like right after you. Damn. Yeah

I bought a bunch of snacks on the way down eight a bunch of snacks at like 130 in my hotel room and just went to bed At like 132. That's nice. That was great, dude. I like wave so much shit. What were you microwave? microwaved mac and cheese Obviously, he's moving free. I microwaved. I had pretzels. I was dipping pretzels in mac and cheese Getting a little crunch getting a little squish. I didn't know pretzels were gluten-free These were at the mat. That's why I went to the grocery store I can't even have gluten it typically does guys if you want to keep going into my Well, this is made of rice pasta and then I had sauce dipping pretzels also gluten-free dipping them you're dipping fake pretzels into rice

Basically, yeah, with fake cheese also, but the and then I ate a grapefruit and went to bed. Yeah, you had you Bought great fruits. I went to Wegmans on the way down stopped in Maryland. Shout out to Marilyn You don't wear masking Wegmans go in I bought a set eight satchel of grapefruits, dude Well, I so many snacks the grapefruits came into play on Saturday night. They were absolutely found out Gardini might be allergic to grapefruits You eat grapefruits at night Sometimes if I'm partying on Friday morning Breakfast I was a fucking hunger dude you need multiple grapefruits. I'll eat a couple of day. Yeah, that's bother me Saturday night

I might fuck your palate up But yeah, dude, so yeah, so that would that I didn't realize that was the back story Those guys were just hung over because I after they I picked up their bag to get on the trash Thing was heavy as I'm believe it was heavy. It was fun. It was like an eight-pound weight I picked it up and I was like are you guys fucking kidding me with this bag? Why is it so heavy? Yeah, if I'm home, I want one bite of something. Yeah, really. Yeah Same I gotta fill I gotta yep. I gotta put a new regime into the stomach. Yes I'll munch. I'll munch a little bit later, but I need I need to just get one little bite of something down just to

Let let the system know more. I what I do is I eat as much as possible and I just let my stomach decide I want to throw up or will I digest this food? But like I'm not gonna sit with a queasy belly all day. I'm settled in business as soon as I wake up I'm like, let's eat as much as possible eat as much as possible vicious diarrhea Start the process Two hours later order another full course That's how you heal dude, so that was that was Friday night Friday night rule Friday night was pretty sick Saturday night Saturday was the battlefield washing gratuitous waste seeing, you know, everyone not take lessons from and this is after I do it

I such an I'm like, hey guys, I got don't worry. I'll buy lunch. Yeah, what do they do? Maybe it's one bite of a sandwich and shoves it in the same for later. No, you're gonna wrap that up I was trying it literally took almost everything in me to not open the fucking trash bag and eat all the dude What was their excuse? I don't know. I've seen plenty of black man eat half a meatball sandwich and take that thing back home Yeah, yeah saving for later respect. I said that respectfully. I've seen that happen many times and you were construction Yeah, black guys typically have half a hoagie on them At any given moment, I'd see so many dudes when I was in labor union I'd work for my dad They would like eat half a meatball sandwich and just chuck it in their pocket and they're like all my wife's gonna love this sandwich

They'd have like a fucking hot meatball Fucking half a hoagie all day long. Yeah, just in the back just fucking wrapped up Chiseling concrete like damn my wife's gonna That's happened enough for me to I can say that with respect Yeah, that's you know and once you pick up on that you'll notice it But you'll see if you pick up because a lot of people you don't realize it But if you're just walking down the street, you'll see a black-eyed drop of sandwich almost every day Subway so they stay with one half hoagie on them at all time. Where do they store it?

That's why they always wear baggy clothes to accommodate their hoagies Yeah, they stay strapped with that which dude that which all the all times dude It's dangerous. So that would have been respectful. You guys could have fucking pocketed your sandwich. That's why they're always so onary Ornery because they know that they have fragile stuff on their person Sandwich I Got a telly and so you tell me so I'm saved their lives I think of a guy in an ER and some nurse like he's unconscious. She's like cutting it

So the cops are always pulling them over Yeah, they want a free sub What's this that's all cops eater commandeered hoagies Yeah, they love it, dude. Yeah. Oh, you're 100% take this back to the station test it They take the hoagie Legit that's the battle between who loves hoagies more Oh my god Um, so

So Saturday comes around we tore the battlefields it starts to rain We get fucking accosted by these old weirdos and windbreakers who just sit there all day nice guys nice gentlemen They there's dudes that volunteer at battlefields and just sit there and just they're like RPG characters, dude Yeah, they just stand there and if you like look him in the eye, they're like, do you have any questions? Awesome not to be like no That's nothing to ask you because I was like, I don't know man. I uh, I don't know let's see and they're like Well, did you ever think of any like fucking go ahead, dude? Go ahead. I get a video game where there's like a conversation tree and you get to the end of it. Yeah, let's start over

Yeah, for real. They uh Shane was chopping it up. You knew a little bit. I was chopping it up. They I was excited to flex you did you hit him with some stuff And then they hit you at the next level of like they talked about this guy who's from that town of Antietam who like Found he like get there's a book about Antietam where it's just like Thousands of pages of primary source material of like letters from soldiers who was gathered by like a lot of young boys Was kind of like peep those battles. They're like they just like damn That was the coolest thing I ever saw and just dedicate their life to like studying as a scholar. Oh really like pretty wholesome

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see like a bunch of guys dying. You're like, I'm gonna study that. Yeah, fuck you up a little yeah for sure How does Antietam compare to Gettysburg? What do you mean like the battlefield itself? Yeah, just the vibe. Yeah, we know a lot about it Connecticut boys were down there. They're down. Not a lot. We checked how many No, not many decent amount though better, you know Delaware Antietam was the first bow that Connecticut soldiers sucked and fucked on both sides They got through the cornfield and blew some of the southern boys. No way. No way. Oh, they couldn't be stopped No, this time it helped. No, it was connected

They get they lowered them in well the night before the Union sent like a Trojan horse They sent the Connecticut boys over little did they know most of them were riddled with venereal disease Oh, and they sucked and fucked all the Confederates and that's why we get up and they just a flitik tuckered out and they Yeah AIDS actually back then this is one of the first AIDS Connecticut soldiers had gay AIDS Yeah, they didn't have they like they were black rich guy AIDS were going around which is way less They're easier to even know that germs like existed at this point hardly They had an idea they had a hankering germs were like conspiracy theory. They're like there's an invisible world of beings that infect us

Psycho What they still like hacking people's legs off because they got like a little infected. Yeah, thanks. Oh, yeah, but Yeah, so we walked to the old geezers and they were like, you know him and Shane was staying in there And then they start talking about this long like thousand page thing and how you know a guy from the town studied it And then at one point they disagreed the one guy called the other geezer. He's like No, actually, that's this and the guy's whatever. Yeah, it was like Lincoln actually visited this battlefield about two weeks later I think I was like actually was the 22nd. There's two days. Okay, so a week. Yeah, he was he was pissed. Oh Get into it with him. Oh, yeah, he was he had a good question

I was just asking about McClellan. Yeah, because McClellan gets shit on a lot by everybody I'm an anti-maclellan, dude. Now let him and teetom boys love McClellan. Yeah, okay So these guys devoted their lives to antietam where McClellan was kind of victorious. Yeah So they're like no, he actually was pretty cool calling the captain that never dared Yeah, when you were asking them questions, were you trying to draw them into a trap? No, you couldn't trap these I was imagining that they Do that because they're they've had it like people at family parties probably just like need them in the ribs And they come up to them now like dude, I don't want to fucking talk to you

Oh, yeah, yeah, you put on you just want to they have an antietam windbreaker and they just they're there at every stop Go look around back some guy carved his name in the wood. You're like sweet. There it is. It was them. Thanks, bro. Yeah Yeah, it's really cool the coolest thing I've ever seen you guys should check it out But so we do antietam we do the battlefield. It was pretty fun Come back. We're you know, we're eating we've even eaten all day. We're on little sleep. I did have some trail mix Oh, yeah, he did. He did some TM. He has some trail mix the boys are hungover. I didn't know about that So then we get into a we're kind of running late, you know, big butt rush And then we like I'm like not sure if we're able to record the live podcast

I'm running out grabbing all kinds of cords and gadgets and shit and then you know, we get there like 10 minutes ago Good show. I was a yeah show sold out. It was sold out. Yeah. Yes. Hold out crowd pretty big theater as well Yeah, I was impressed. Hell yeah, pretty big theater and then we do the live podcast So we chill we do the live podcast so much fun and like it was already we were partying hard I think Shane stirred up some shots. I did. Okay, it's impossible. Here's an impossible situation I was doing that as this nice treat for Andrew the owner of the club Oh, I was trying to make the whole full theater order around. I thought you were trying to make him give the theater No, I was trying to make no, not for free. I was trying to make them buy one for my friend Andrew

I was trying to raise it. Yeah, I was trying to get 40 Scheme did it work? Did I ended up having a shot? Yeah, a few a few brave souls You know, yeah, that's too warm tequila. That was terrible. Oh, that's I mean, yes, dude So we we had to do so during the live cast. I'm like, you know, I'm drinking more than I always party during I only party during live cast. So I'm like drinking my wine Drinking my tequila smoking my vape and like it's going out of style And then dude by the time I stood up from the live cast it was over by the time I stood up. We were all I'm like I don't know if you've ever smoked so much weed during a live production that you stand up in your legs for a little wonky

No, so I've done that a couple times now. So I'm like I get up and I'm like, oh dude I'm ghost walking. I was like, I've smoked enough weed at the point where I'm like kind of floating We were fucked up. This is probably what like 12 30 Okay, it's about 12 30 there, you know 12 midnight. Yeah, yeah, but we were fuck We were pretty fucked up at this point and then we go to the bar and then it's just like We keep drinking dude. We keep drinking some dude drops a and a half ounce of mushrooms Golden teacher strain. He says on Shane at like one o'clock in the morning, dude. So it like by one thirty There was a point in the night where we were so fucked up. We were drinking champagne and eating mushrooms

Yeah, a nice bottle of Moet bottle of champagne and some other guy bought roots dude It would champagne and mushrooms might be the most fucking gently thing you can do Like we were fine. We were taking shots at tequila like we were fucked up I honestly did not know there were strains of mushroom I mean, I assume that I guess there are many strains of yeah, is it like weed? Is it becoming like weed? Well, there's just a bunch of strains. Yes, and they have a different teachers penis envy There's a ton of different ones. The name of a mushroom is very strong. Well, not you shouldn't laugh. Yeah You should you should eat some of those. You see some penis envy, too

Well, yeah, dude, so we eat like dude, what is with the underwear you wear what kind of underwears you should see this guy It's like a Ralph Lauren model. He's got like there's like tight speedo underwear all the time hold on He's attracted to me in my underwear Trying to blame it on me. Can we just touch on the Every morning you wake the machine coming through your bedroom shaking his head at you Every morning is your rooms are connected. Yeah And then that's how I wake up every morning shaming the towel is going I walked through today, and I was like damn. He's out of bed. Yeah, leave it

Yeah, you were up. I've started in your tighties. I've started. Yeah, kind of what how what kind of length you talking? They're I digs. They're like regular short. I guess but I just get I got Uniqlo underwear. It was cheap I just bought a shit. It's like stylish underwear. It's getting fucking cock balders out If you spend more than like 150 on your like a $1.50 on dude, where are you getting fucking nice? You're not wearing him and tell me where your mom bought you a Christmas the full year. Yep. You're playing My mom doesn't buy me underwear you should tell her She would be appalled if she saw the sex mom everyone's making the lingerie

You wear lingerie. No, that's not true. First of all you and Tommy made me show me Show you guys my ass the other day. Why? Like And every every time I walk out of the bathroom from in my underwear I can't believe it every time I see it I learned on a Saturday very European very European I learned that you have abnormally large balls on Saturday. Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah, really? Yep One of your friends from home is a shame. That's huge balls. Oh, yeah, Tony. Yeah, and I was like nice. Yes

So yeah, we got into that and I was like good. Yeah, what the lady are the ladies impressed by huge balls now so far none They're very sensitive. I don't like it if a girl tries to suck my balls suckle upon my balls. I'm like We should get like hurts we should get like a bcde like cup size If we wore his underpants, we would need that true What kind of underwear do you wear? I don't know just regular. Yeah, do the same Yeah, this was your underpants. Yeah. No, you cannot take your trousers off. No He wants to see my ass again every day He's addicted

Don't be a fool. You're the one playing guitar in front of me to try to seduce Yeah, I play guitar and Shane sings songs about me being gay true He'll sing about you being gay. Well, Chris is actually all the songs about my ass. Yeah, very good guitar player Yeah, I'm all right. Chris is good. Hell. Yeah, I can't he's good enough that I can be like play this song in like a minute later I'll start playing it. Fuck. Yeah, we'll look up the tabs. Yeah The cave by Mumford and songs like the intro It's a fun. It's a fun one What do you have Tommy? What's Tommy playing?

Well tambourine, I say rock tambourine pretty good Yeah, this all started because Tommy has a guitar and he's learning. He's trying to play He just started taking like lessons Yeah And then I was like You just start yeah, he's terrible. He's still learning the chords, you know, yeah, you got to get your fingers Yeah, what the hell are you saying Tommy's not musical? I don't think he's just Oh, he's a terrible singer

He is yeah, every once in a while. He does like a good Rod Stewart. He really yeah Italian guys have like Carved out a genre for themselves. That's essentially just karaoke. It's Frank Sinatra He's a glorified karaoke singer. Yeah, anyone can sing along with Frank Sinatra. Yeah, but Tommy's not He doesn't go the WAP route. He goes like Rhythm and blues. Yeah, he loves like R&B Really? Like a new R&B. It's like brand new R&B. I feel like it's like weird R&B and like Bonnie Vair or whatever that Bon Iver

Whatever how do you say? Yeah, it's that kind of stuff Real folks. I shouldn't smite his musical screaming singing in the shower Screaming it would it would surprise me if he was shredding on again. That's all that would be like well really. Yeah Yeah, I'd be pretty cool. Yeah, I'd be proud of him. I'd be pumped on him. Yeah It's a long he's a long road to ho do but Chris went got an electric guitar. I went electric Yeah, I got drunk and people were people with a fan's pissed. Well, I want Bob Dylan switch from acoustic to electric I was I was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, the hell I felt guilty I was like, oh fuck I sold out and then and then I was I was worried

I'd expressed my fears to them and they're like, no, I love it And it is it is like headphones in a player. No, I came with an amp I don't want to be stealing come-town Valor. Yeah, which is singing gay songs with gay lyrics. Yeah, but yeah That's what I do all day. Yeah, Chris plays songs and whatever song he's playing. I just make it about him being a There is a cock in Christopher's Yeah, we got some we got some hits. Yeah, we got some good Dude, I was scheming on a Christmas album Yeah, not tell anyone dude and his video record us in black turtle necks

Just ripping Christmas songs and his drop it dude next Christmas. Yeah, just get hammered in studio Well, if you guys I'll be able to freestyle Matt can play pretty well. He's no Billy, but he's good. Yeah, okay. Oh Billy My brother Kevin my brother Kevin's like what's the author could teach guitar? He's like he could like read music. He could give me like Dan would you make guitar lessons stiff man? What would you call it? It's a tin man He would dance in weddings. He's just stiff McGriff stiff

You had him a guitar and he'd be like fucking just You just have to put a bucket or some sort of top He's nasty a guitar, how would you rank the guitar would you say Billy is Tom is okay Kev's number one Kev's number one number two. You think you can shred harder than bill. I'm probably easily I'm really I'm also the best. I'm the best singer in the family. I think you're a good singer. Thank you Yeah, thank you. I'm upset. What are you singing? Thank you pretty much anything dude my keys more like EA I can hit you but you know, whatever but And I've deviated what type of song do you like to sing? What's your favorite song to sing?

Isley Brothers, I'd range. Yeah, I can go I can go up there if I need to I can go pie if I need to Song give it a shout about Chris being gay no matter what song I don't have you sit in on the FIFA sessions. Yeah, I can I can go hi I just literally so I was like, you know, I'm just warming up and have to do like yeah That's how you warm up the vocal chords. I play a FIFA and sing the same song over and over again It's empty in the valley of Chris's ass His cocket rises slowly as he walks Fucking you provide the soundtrack to your denigration

I like it, it's fun. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Everyone's like creative process. Yeah, he hears me work out the lyrics Everyone's all hit a lyric that works. I'm just like, did you hear that? What'd you write that down? It does his best work like when he takes a shit. He'll come out with some I'm telling you the Albuquerque black turtleneck film. We just drop a Christmas album We'll just do another half ounce of mushrooms and bug out. No Dude, I still don't understand how you slept the alcohol So I drank too, dude, dude, I heard you were knocking on their door late at night. Yeah Check on us. I was going through your mind at that point the night. I don't know

I was I Shane's pretty sturdy. He's a pretty psychologically sturdy dude. So I was like, I'm sure he's fine But he yeah, you know, I mean what's wrong? You guys are worried about my dad We're in England I'm certain he's dead But that was that was cocaine. That's different. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it. No, he I was like I know he's fine on the mushrooms, but you know, I'm like There's a chance. He's just awake just staring at the ceiling because like dude, we got back you can run. Yeah You can find me doing that. Yes, I'll every few nights anyway, true

That's true. I was like I was just going like knock knock being like yo if you guys are Thinking you're trapped in your room. You can't come out. We have the fucking, you know We had the ashram going dude in 723 were you thinking ever about like call the paramedics not dude So getting getting some type of authority here. This is the weirdest part because on mushrooms that to me is the scariest So here's here's dude. Here's a layout. So we're at you guys dipped out I mean, it was like two o'clock. They did down a reasonable time. So we were we're munching the mushrooms One good thing about my lady. She she passes out. That's the best thing about she likes. Yes. Yes, otherwise

I would have stayed there Their battery pack is like an hour shorter than ours and they'll drag you to bed and you're like, oh, thank God I get there and she'd order a drink you're like when we got there. I'd be like, alright I guess I'm going home at midnight. Yep, cuz she's gonna be tuckered out dude. I go to bed now I'm in bed at 9 p.m. Disgust as soon as as soon as Bay when she went away for her little bachelor or friends bachelor that party Instantly, I'm up till two in the morning playing GTA I'm not playing that when she went away. I was just like, alright guys, no for real. It's my last respawn. I

Couldn't go to I couldn't stop but yeah having just heard me like me Fucking coming upstairs. I'm like, oh, thanks. Thanks. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, it's very nice. So Shayne I see Shane dip out you guys had a little you guys had your space boots on I'm scoping dude I'm clocking because we were like you pick at mushrooms you pick at them and they add up So you think it's just worst thing you just pick at I'm being just a little bit and you keep doing that That's how I am with just about cut off every drug all that stuff. Yeah. Yeah, just like what hasn't hit yet I'll just keep eating it and keep eating it and then next thing you know dude So everyone there is eating them. So we're sitting there at the bar you guys leave and I'm watching I'm watching your lady

Fuck yeah, she's got a space boots on so I'm like, it'll be alright. You know, they'll be fine It wasn't that we didn't eat that much although it was spaced out between a lot of people You know, so everyone was drinking I have a theory to you know people do lemon tech with mushrooms So if you put mushrooms and lemon juice, it breaks down psilocybin into psilocin, which is the thing that actually makes you trip That's why people get belly aches because it's a lot of work to break it down But if you have an acidic thing it breaks it down for you and it kicks in way quicker I have a theory that alcohol does that too. So every time I've drank and eaten mushrooms a kick in in like 25 minutes Yeah, so the first little bit kicked in I'm like, you know, we're sitting around having a good time

We're talking more tequila shots more champagne, which is just hilarious and Andrew the owner of my goose He was so excited Yeah, I think the champagne might have been it because it's probably keeping everything moving and breaking up spreading it out, you know it dude Sounds like a grinder all of it came into play these mushrooms kicked in and then we had then you had a little more So I was like, whatever. I'll just eat whatever you eat. Well, you know, like we'll have fun. So I just like let me stay Was it that casual or was it more competitive? No, it was casual. I didn't even notice my oh my bad For my bachelor party, I had to do the five gram two weeks after that. So I didn't partake in mushrooms with everyone

I felt bad about that. So I was like not again. So as soon as he would eat him I was gobbled. I'm like, we're gonna be tripping this and be fun and then And then so we eat them and then you left and there's a little bit left the mean guard dog split one of those big Honkers at the end spot the spot man. Fuck. He was down there gobbled a white claw Billy had thrown up at this point Billy he didn't even much he just ate the he drank white claws to the point of vomiting and then it's scurried off quietly just fucking So it was like and then Shane and Bay leave so it was just me guard dog Nate Marshall ate a decent amount of these things Yes, a lot actually I was like, okay, and then

And then we're talking to the owner by the by three and three in the morning I'm like rattling on about Hinduism to the owner and he's like Wow Wow, he was he's an incredible listener. Yeah, he was like you should take some notes from him, dude We're say was so we're sitting there. We're talking finally. I like I see the bartenders fade in I'm like dude is three o'clock. We got to go. We're full. We're fully tripping at this point, dude, so we I Get up to go to the bathroom that the hallway is red, right? Yeah, I'm looking at red hallway And I'm like fuck dude these all the mushrooms kicked in and I'd again. I've been smoking tons of weed I'm on like fuck. I was already on Pluto, dude. Now. I'm on Planet X

I still love that Billy Billy bounced after That's the movie because you know, it's like you're not a suspect. Yeah, so No, he didn't no he puking the owner of MacGoovie's listening. No, he They got that that sing looks like you can take some puke set up for some puking. It looks like it is puked in but it's just rust Yeah, he was a man. He let us stay there a drink and he was just funny as fuck We're sitting there fucking around and and then we go home and dude I don't know if I should say okay. This will just be like a comedy sketch So imagine my car is parked at MacGoovie's. Yes, and it's it's only about a block imagine the sketch

It's literally like 0.004 mile. It's all contained within a parking lot corporate center, right? And so my squad's on mushrooms. I'm fucking sitting there and I go I'm either I'm either gonna cart us home I'm either gonna drive us the literally just 400 feet to the hotel or my squad has to trudge up a pretty treacherous hill You did the right thing. So I did there. I said, you know what dudes get in the Civic. Let's go So we get in the Civic then I'm like, what happens if I hit the gas? So I hit a nice peel. I tried to peel out, but it was just fine. No big deal. It's not it's fine It was fun Chris

We were contained with this is you don't know Just know if I'm on mushrooms and I'm in the back of that car I would have killed you all yeah, it was fun. How was the Pila? I had it under control I made a wrong what happened is I made a wrong turn. I made a wrong turn and ended up in like the wrong park I had it was like this way to this parking lot or this way to the right parking lot I made a wrong turn. Do you know you turn right out of there? I See the hotel

Come on, dude. Give me a break. So I go into the so I go to do a time like holy shit It's the wrong parking lot. Oh, and then I go to turn around I was like, let's go boys and I hit like a quick turn around. That was it then drove home So you were fucking off in a vehicle under the influence. Yeah, Matt. This is So now we all had problems Wrote our ankles on that hill so then did the right so close dude I at the same time. I was all like I was in my capacities. I checked out I parked perfectly and it was a crowded parking lot. Yeah pulled in perfect

It was everything I drove home like every single night. You know what made me drive fast It was the alcohol that alcohol is what made me drive like a mania now the alcohol made me I was driving like a dad from the Elks really each night. I was like I can drive on perfectly fine Every night. Yeah. Yeah, just focus intensely batting down. I was the alcohol dude Otherwise, I'd be careful the weed and mushrooms had me driving like straight now the alcohol is like, you know Let's fire. Yeah, I do something crazy for your boys. Yeah So it was dude. It was a whole ordeal was like maybe two and a half minutes. That's how close this was So I just moved I like golf carted us back point a to point B

So we get into the hotel and at this point there was a point C True a little detour front about that. Yeah, I didn't make a little three-point turn pretty good But the dude so we go up into the hotel and by this point I'm I felt like I was ascending like the hope we're going up in the elevator and I'm like Like we were dude. That's why I was like, how the fuck are you sleeping? I I don't know But yeah, you know, I think you hit the sack before I guess they kicked. Yeah, perhaps and we also ate a little more I forgot we munched. I was like, you know, it's also his tolerance for mushrooms is pretty crazy Don't make fun of my genitals

Genitals on the show. Oh, you have a fine set of genitals do because we took we took mushrooms Oh, you're laughing now, okay Okay Guardian where we had timelines just so I know for a page perfect perfect Yeah, we took mushrooms in like Hartford once and we're all we're all having fun and then There was still like a big bag left and Shane just like grabbed them and ate them and I was like, no Because I thought he was gone like he would die like you can't I had never experienced what I experienced at the bachelor party

Otherwise, I probably would have been worried myself, but I literally every time I had yeah, yeah, Chris knew and he was like, oh my god, dude What I was like, yeah, but then he was a kill my vibe And then I panicked because I was like, oh no now. I'm the cause of the bad Yeah, dude, I I want to set a strict and hard policy But if you see us out drinking do not drop mushrooms on us, dude. Yeah, please detonated the squad Squad got absolutely shelled dude, so I didn't get to what actually happened Yeah, so we go back up to the hotel room and I think we you know We say later to Gardini say later Nate they had a room me and Spud and Billy white claw Billy was in bed passed out

Yeah, so me and Spud going to the room It's like what Billy Billy Billy's on his belly in on the bed just not having a good time. He was acting a fool Oh, he was having a good it was so fun ripping sigs, dude My mom the next day different tons of sigs what my mom the next day was like Billy sounds like he's been smoking I had like had an at that point I had like all the old the only amount of sleep I was like an hour of an hour today He was on the phone my mom and my parents I was like sitting on a couch like he did smoke mom

He had five cigarettes. I saw Mushrooms and hadn't slept all night like Billy did smoke cigarettes He drank too much. I didn't know he was smoking. I tried to tell him not to but he was ripping sigs outside and And I wish I'd do we get back to the room Gardini. It was this might have been the funnest night of my life It was kind of fucked up Gardini He goes with Nate me and Spud are there Billy's like solid logs there He snooze and so we go in Billy you can really visually see when he's hammered to oh god It all like falls apart

The hair was fucked up his eyes are like dark red We all all of us do our face is crazy. We get drunk our faces are like shit face instantly It was like My brother Tom might have shit face the worst he gets drunk and he just goes his arms rise as he gets drunk His arms come up and he goes He's just this until you like until he like gets in a fight or goes to bed God, but yeah, dude the so yeah, we go back to the room Oh my god, dude, and you know, it was also was a tough day for funds Spud found out his uncle had died that day

It was a tough day, dude It was funny He's like all I wanted to do was come down and be with my friends and just forget everything and I was like mission accomplished Yeah, you forgot it literally everything away. We yeah So I'm like, all right, bro. Like, you know, we're good and I go to close my eyes and it's just like Fractal patterns of just like well, and I'm sitting there like I'm not in my head. I went, okay. I'm not sleeping I'm gonna lay here my head. I'm like part two of mushroom world I'm gonna go off into my little, you know mushroom reverie again. I'm like, whatever this will be tight

And I just yeah, I'm like Like am I retarded like is this just in my head and I look over at Spud and he's halfway off the bed He had a whole bed by the way me silly billy. I mean, we're brothers. We're gonna share it. We're going to I didn't end up Didn't sleep you so it doesn't matter, but the uh, so then like Spud is like halfway on the bed He keeps slumping off. I'm like the hell Spud you don't know fire. You got the whole bed sleep in the middle of the bed He would slowly work his way towards the head Shit we are tripping as hard as I thought

So then he starts fall, you know a long story short He starts fucking throwing up dude, and it's like thick shit like nasty shit coming. Yeah, like like cakey weird throw-up This is at like 3 30. Yeah, who knows what he was eating He's dude. I don't think even he needs like junkyard doll needs like two days Yeah, so you need for like two days, so I'm spitting already in a tough spot Did he we had drank more than enough and then the mushroom here good amount of them So then like he's just retching and throwing up on this floor to the point where I had to like knock it out of his back This throat was getting kind of constricted and it dude not at any point did it occur to me

This was like a bad situation. I'm just like you're good, dude I'm fucking smashing this thing and you know in your hotel. There's like a little bench Yeah, there's like a like you walk in there. I'm like sitting on my little bench I have my sack of grapefruits, and I'm sitting there like smacking Spud He would come out of it like he just had four questions, dude He would be like he pop out my dude. You're good like we look it's four o'clock We get to 8 a.m. We're golden you just have to pass through this and get all the shit out your system I kept trying to get him a drink water wasn't happening at one

At one point he was fully animalkin at one point. I was like, why were you biting the bottles of water? I'd give you he goes. Oh dude. I was Zeus for his dog died last year He was like I was Zeus for a little he was full animalkin Dude, what so I'll be like why's he my and I would just laugh. I feel you go I'll try this again later. I put it down So it's spud's horkin like dude eyes bulging bloodshot horkin. I'm fucking clearness fucking airwaves But the weirdest part this for some reason none of this I wasn't perturbed by this at all I was like full panic. So I'm like knocking. I'm knocking his arrow. I'm like all right. He's breathing. He's good

I'm like, I wonder what cardinis out to so then I like I get this text. It was cardini had text I'll read this dude cardini had texted me that night So and you tell me dude if it sounds like someone who's tripping on mushrooms So like I thought it was something he had just texted me, but this so I read I look at my phone and go Oh shit, dude, cardini's like losing his mind. So here it's right This is the text I see on my phone that I didn't see during the thing Damn you guys text a lot mean cardini talk like all the time. We got a lot Dude when I there's like there's nothing worse for me

What if I'm tripping when I like I'm wondering if Paramedics or the authorities need to be called because I refused. Yeah, yeah, yeah wait to get in the red this tail So when someone's puking and biting water bottles, that was not it was just the airways or he was so dehydrated Yeah, his throw-up was like cake. It was like Play-Doh, dude. It was it was like I was telling him I'm like, dude, it was like black. I was like, you're throwing up like medieval humors up the body, dude He was throwing up like like Dude, so his this is the text I get from guardian. This is like that. I think he says can't raise just spud He caused he Shane and Bill are on the same input. He's just got a munch the mic

So my I forgot I had no idea what he was talking about and I made you know, it made sense, but I'm like Fuckardini's lost his mind Text about audio shit. So I text them. I'm like, yo come over to room 723 and And Reminded my drop my phone, but yeah So so Cardini, uh, so I text. I'm like, yo, what are you guys doing in Cardini answers a phone? You know you call Cardini like sup. He's like, hello. Yeah, like what are you guys up to? He's like, nothing We're just chilling

All right. I like how you guys doing? He's like, we're good. And then I'm like, all right We'll come over you know if you guys are bored come over and chill like I'm not sleeping all night. We're tripping He's like, yeah, okay, so then he goes down to them I'm like, I need some water So I go to go to the elevator and I hear a fucking absolute just what it was a hubble Oh dude coming up towards me and I'm like chain. Do you I thought you So then like it's just Nate and Sean come off the elevator laughing hysterically I'm like the fuck so funny. They're like there was an old black dude downstairs

Bop in the floors and blasts it wasn't blasphemy playing R&B and singing along to it And they're like it was just too funny and I'm like Sounds pretty funny So I go downstairs to get my water for me and Spud and it just is that dude doing that So I go down I go downstairs across the mop floor in my socks and I'm like, don't laugh Don't fucking laugh it was it was it was just such a weird scene and then uh There was this angel dude this like another angel second angel the weekend, dude I'm like, can I have five bottles of water and she's like, yeah

No, you know, so I like go and check out and she's just like laugh because my pupils are like that big I'm like, thank you and it's like four in the morning and I just walk back upstairs. I try not to laugh And uh, so let me go back upstairs Gardini and Nate finally come over and I'm like, yo guys come on in They're like Spud's just I have Spud in a cocoon of blankets just going like I see Gardini's kind of like It's like what am I walking into and Nate just comes right in like, hey, blah, blah, blah So Gardini's chilling by sitting on the ground like there wasn't much room to hang out was Billy's on the bed So Gardini's on the ground just chilling and I'm like Gardini try great. He's never had a grapefruit

I'm just peeling grapefruits and handing the fruit out and uh, just like Maharajie, dude And then I like hand fucking a grapefruit to Meshuli Gardini and Spud's laying on the thing and he would pop up every now and again and be like Are there girls? I'm like, there's girls brother. There's he has a five question loop. He went through Non-stop. So there's like watching Spud put his world back together. He's like, but there's girls still there's girls brother They're here And then like he would like Gardini sit I can tell Gardini is like Like this is cool. He's trying to convince himself and it's a wildly fucked up situation

So he's eating his grapefruit. I'm watching Gardini. He's like, no, I'm like, Gardini is cool And I'm like, I don't know why I'm like, too. It's fun man. Relax. Have fun Spud's reaching out is like grabbing Gardini's foot At one point Gardini finishes his grapefruit and just goes Gardini passes out goes offline Fully goes offline. So I'm like and it's still I'm like, oh shit And I'm looking at Nate Nate's like, holy shit I go I made sure I pushed up here because you were you seized lightly So I made sure he didn't bite his tongue off

So I pushed up here and then he come and I gave Gardini a little fucking like a little english Got him back online. He comes up and he goes What the fuck happened? I'm like, dude He passed out. It's not a big deal. I feel great, man I'm like, is that ruby red? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was like he was like fainted fainted duty passed out and lightly seized Little but he he had a couple of oh my god. That would have killed try to do choking For some reason. I'm just well, you were high as fucking drunk

Yeah, it's not like a reason. It was for some reason. It was it was just a pirate ship in my head. I'm like, look We're gonna get we got this. There's no one here that can help us. Let's go And I was ready at some there was points where I was like like you were saying I was like We're getting close to medical authorities coming. But I think and I you know, like But I can't pull on that web. I didn't want to pull. I didn't want to hit that lever Because I was fully ready for them all to come and be like, all right guys, let's like it be part of the medical You're all under arrest And throw the book at you. But yeah, gardeni champ to fucking hot pass out. Yeah, because it would turn out gardeni's 15

I've never checked his ID. I think we're getting lied to true. Yeah, true. And I think no is 48 But yeah, so I got gardeni came back online and then uh, I was he was like, dude, you think it was that grapefruit I was like, definitely don't need a grapefruit ever again. That might have been that grapefruit or it could have been It was your nervous system being like just shut down Yeah, yeah, I thought a man was dying Yeah, it was he was dude. He was a rough if you got a little taste of antedom, dude. That's what you got. That's what yeah You should have ate that fucking bagel. Did you could have handled that grapefruit? You wouldn't have passed out Dude, I would count a big hearty meals, dude

If spud was puking like that, I would have pounded on chain's door until he woke up And then he would have answered and I would have been like I think spud's dying Now I would I would literally be whispering in the hallway being like, I think he's I think he's dead and I know you'd be like, what? You would have woke up I would have woken up into the mushroom. I was clearly sleeping through and I would have just What? Would and I would have totally panicked me like nothing go back to bed. I'll deal with you dude

No, I'm telling you there's not a part of me to panic. It was like and normally I completely would have So I like I once spud was like when I cleared it once he was like done with like the cakey or stuff I'm like, all right. Cardini's back online. Then I watch cardini be like, I feel great now. I felt so bad before I Why did I pass out? Why any time like cardini? You're going back down the same dark road. They'll let you to pass it out Leave it alone, brother So then he Nate's like, Nate was an angel dude. He was like, you know, we need more towels So Nate got some more towels. We wipe up more puke. We're just we're just wiping up puke hanging out and then uh

Nate's like, all right, I'm tuckered out. Nate goes just passes out goes to bed cardini hit the fucking trail I just walked the parking lot from like six Jesus man So then I'm like, all right, billy at one point woke up. So at one point I think you guys were you awake when billy? It was billy awake when you were there Okay, yeah billy woke up pretty early on when spud was thrown up and billy was just like he might He put on a playlist which is you know, vibe master sick And then he looks at spud and he was he's laying on his stomach in his underwear

He's being like spud your new pronouns are beast and a horse Oh, so and then he so like me and spud is listening billy went back to sleep And me and spud is laid there once spud like, you know, he got he took some water finally threw up some like liquidy stuff Um, and then we just like laid there. I listened I laid on the bed And I was waiting for the you know the day to break because I'm like spud as soon as that song comes up or golden brother, you got to chill and The one point free bird came on at like six in the morning. So I'm just laying in bed laughing I was like closing my eyes being listening to free bird and being like

Damn, dude, this song is youth energy, dude. This guy's like, I'm too fucking horny, babe. I gotta go get pussy Sorry, I'll be back and I'm like, damn, we all have to deal with this And it was like then like came out of it to spud like yo, dude. I'm like, what's up, dude? What's going on? But yeah, so we listened to billy's playlist, which was like the funniest songs all night And then like eight o'clock we went and got breakfast and me and spud felt decent But billy just had alcohol in his system. It's one of white claws at that So we go to get breakfast, dude

We're the hardest squad and we went to first watch which is like kind of like a nicer like breakfast place Yeah, it sounds like a good place Nice, but it's like we go in there and he undercooked my eggs and I was jiggling them in front of billy and he would go He was like to stop he took one bite of french toast and ran to the bathroom Damn, he's got a lady's stomach. He was he doesn't drink very much, dude He's got to get that trucker billy fired up true Yeah, dude, he was I was jiggling in the front and he was going And then he ate one bite of french and I kept being like I was I ordered this weird drink and I was like drinking it

And I'm like bill You know when you have like a lot of liquid in your belly and you move and you feel it slosh He's like dude fucking stop Do anything So then we just drove home. I didn't sleep all night. We drove home and I took a nap and then went to my parents house and told on billy Pick that food So, yeah, that was sorry, but yeah, I will say dude the squad got de-cheveled, dude

Yeah, I think I think being a parent actually helped you on this one I think so you're you've been I think you've been seeing a lot of shit and puke come out of somebody. Oh, yeah, it's nothing Yeah, yeah, so it's you're like your wife like in front death Open you're like, dude, you'll be fine Smack your back really hard. I'm all like constantly dealing with people almost choking on everything. Right, right Same thing. It's like Just hitting everyone on the back, dude, I was just sitting there. I would have left him to die I would have a hundred percent if he was throwing up all of I would have been like I'm going to bed

I just don't yeah. No, I'm telling you I was like Yeah, if it was just puking, but it was like he it was like getting stuck, dude It was fucked up or maybe I was just hallucinating that just hitting all my friends constantly Yeah, it was tight, dude, I had I had uh, yeah, our mushrooms hit us on the way back in the morning It's because she and I both like Didn't trip at all. Yeah, so then just in the morning we're like, why are we weird? And then we just had a dead silent five-hour drive back to new york Dude, that was that's hell. You know, you came up here and did I drove up to new york city the next day and had to

Go do spots at the cellar and the first spot I did was Fucking terrible and I lost my voice because we were screaming at a bar all night So then the middle of this set that i'm already bombing on I was like, all right time to break out the trump impression I lost my voice. So like I led the lead up to the joke. I was like, oh like I was thinking in my head like oh Fuck i'm not gonna be able to do this So then I like screamed the impression To try to get into the mic. I was like People were just

So I just walked in and ate a dick after yeah, it was terrible. That was a bad day That was a rough one Damn, then you had fun though. I did last night was Two nights ago was the blast. I think you had fun the second set, didn't you know? I did the second set was very good. Yeah, man, which was nice, dude I could hardly handle I so I didn't sleep at all drove home Naps for about an hour and a half and then like just sat at my parents house and was just like Hey, my mom's like tired and i'm like i'm tired mom

We had to do a lot of work this week. Yeah, it's hard working hard. I'm like Let's go with those brownie show business, baby. Oh, yeah This weekend was crazy. We had a lot. We did a lot of work. That's the road, bro Oh dude Going back to mommy's house, dude. Just get she's like there's some spare. I do that. I do that all the time ribs Do you want me to heat them up? Yes. Yes, mommy. I wanted to stop at my parents house So bad on the way home instead of driving to new york If I if it wasn't if I didn't just start working there, I would have canceled

Oh, yeah, just go lay at my mom and dad. I just said I sit on the floor against the couch And I just watched spongebob with my niece and I just wait my mom's like, did you would you like seltzer? I'm like, yes, mom. Yes. We have some burgers left over. Do you want me to get you a cheap? She'll just make it. Oh, it's the best, dude. I'm hungry right now. Yeah, that's the best That's the best part about going home like the bevy of cold beverages Dude, it was the best man. I just grubbed and just sat there on the floor I was just like would like the dog would come up to me. I'd wrestle a german shepherd Then be like mom billy drank so much this week

It is funny to snitch on billy. Oh, it's the best My dad'll pop up. I'll be like billy was there hitting the sauce, huh? He's off the wagon. I'm like, he's been drinking a decent amount Yeah, third time this year Yeah That'll put him in retirement for a long time. I think white claw billy. I think he's out late. I need him back though. I love it It's a let go of the claw. I'm I'm no so mad that I missed it him ripping cigarettes Going after you. Oh, that's fine. It would have been so funny to watch him. Dude, some guy gave me a Like a humongous joint that was dipped in uh

In bulking cash oil. Yeah He's like, yo smoked. I was like dude, I'll die These dudes give you something like, you know, do drugs right now. You're like, no, every show except for mushrooms every single show dudes come up and like, yo That one in Utah was not he gave me a full grocery bag filled with like acid and mushrooms and all sounds like holy shit Yeah Hell yeah, um

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