Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 354 - The Industry (feat. Brian Six & Ryan Shaner)

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

YUS. The D.A.W.G.Z. have returned to the beautiful city of Philadelphia. They're joined by Beez and Shaner, Check out The Ya Fucked It Podcast ASAP. Ep includes: Pyrotechnics, spirited debate, and memories that will last a lifetime.    Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod

We're live, dude. We're already arguing, dude. Yeah, we're here with you. Fucked it. Hey fuck the chainers in charge By the way, I put shana in charge. He just gave me the dress and I fucking well shana He answered my calls. He's another shana. You're in charge. I just got done fixing my toilet and I saw you come That's why you're in charge, dude. Oh, why I thought you had tattoos. Everyone thinks I have tattoos You don't have any right? Everyone thinks I have no one reminds me first order of business Let's go the Antifa bartender and Richmond reached out to me. What? Whoo, he said he's not Antifa and he thought it was funny us criticizing him and mocking him No, no, he genuinely thought it was like no, it was hilarious. I was like dude my bad

I thought he was saying it's actually pretty funny. You think no, no, no He said it was he enjoyed it. He said it was not cuz I was like off shit my bed Yeah, and also, you know, there was also his side of the story Which was them end of the night all of a sudden a guy comes in and says he's on Molly 15 times There's that side of it, but yeah, remind me cuz you're a big industry You're like yeah, if you weren't in comedy, you'd be anti I don't know you'd be an anti fuck around the Antifa babes Antifa babes yeah, yeah Would you get a pretty tattoo fuck? No, yeah, you with a hammer and sickle

No way, dude. No if I'm getting any fucking thing crossing anything you've ever seen Angola's flag Yeah, so fucking I'm gonna throw you one fascism or communism you have to pick one which one I hate that I'm like well am I taking fashion over practicality or fuck me Which one gets you more pussy is a question. Oh Communism is a mess. You more pussy until communism True fashion. Oh, no, I don't know about that You if you are today in Philadelphia if you're on the online dating scene communism will get you Yeah, but if you're a successful fascist you'll get more pussy than that's just that's just successful at anything

You're gonna get more especially if I don't even matter who you are. That's true But if you're the best fascist you're getting pussy if you're the best communist you're getting fucking slits. That's how it fucking works There's no way you're not Talking like a real fascist You like fascism, so you've taken down some anti-fabes. Yeah, definitely. What's their deal? What's their deal? Yeah, what do they want? What do they want? They just want anybody to be open to anything, so really just fucking about a punch in the gut Complement to the red white

Drop the fucking high-waisted Jean belly. Yeah, dude. It's like Dude every girl dresses exactly the same now. I don't like the highways. Nobody were highway either where dad They were like the baggy dad jeans and like a well Billy Eilish fashion that everyone wants to dress like they're like is that what that is. Yeah, dude That's a young chick. Yeah, bring it back like 90s baggy bullshit fashion cuz that's what they want it They just dress like I want to see I want to see their fucking ass. Yeah, dude Yeah, I want to see their flesh except not I don't want to see their cheeks. I don't like that. I don't like the cheeks What I don't see that dude. You don't like what I'm gonna paint it on shorts that go down to the mid-tie

Are you I don't want to butt cheeks is just gratuitous. Are you fucking ridiculous? Dude, there's no no one wears bras in New York. I noticed that. Yeah, no bras That's what's up talking to my brother about it when you see I get nipples like once every now and again It's tight when everyone's nipples are out. It's like dude. I was just talking to my keyword about that on the way Really? He was like a girl walked into Wawa young because I was I've covered it before but I was talking to him about how I Joke about Yeah on here like I want to fuck young girls, of course and then you realize young girls are that's just because we're geezers now Sure, we're all getting horny as hell for like that what we should be which is the hottest chicks on earth

Yeah, like a 24 year old chick got you. That's all you gotta say the perfect. It's all you gotta say But now that I'm a geezer I see them and I'm like what's that a fucking 15 year old? Yeah, yeah She's a child. You have to be careful. Now. All of a sudden. It's like I like hot children You gotta watch it. Anyway, he said a girl a young girl walked into Wawa with her nipples out It's just the Mcskeever Mcskeever was a little horny Mckeever got instantly. He was like I got school-shooter energy immediately Cuz I did yeah, it's the same thing if a hot girl walks in if I can't have you no one can and I'll kill everybody That's how you get them in like that's how you get into like like caging chicks Mm-hmm, like I don't even want I don't get like phallically horny anymore. I just see a chick and I'm like

Oh, you get what I capture and detain. Yeah, I want chicks as I just want to be impossible Or just like train or just possibly capture torture or train see it's like logically torture Maybe I'm more like I'm more proto what you know about communism. I don't they liked detaining true I mean everybody likes to Fascists will just execute fascist if you're talking about communist will just execute true It might be the same thing. It's kind of the same thing pretty much the same thing Yeah, but every but when it comes down to like the nuts and bolts everyone likes detaining chicks Detain them. You want to tie them up? You just said everyone does not everyone. Yeah, dude. Are you not part of the crew?

What's the most violent thought you ever had towards a woman Immediately punched them in the face. That's what you wanted to do to them a couple times. Yeah, you've wanted to strike them Yes, how was it close as you ever came never you have to get never. This is what well that thing pull around He's doing great This table Yeah, no, I Chug water into the machine with an X I got the thought and I remember being like I gotta leave here

You got the thought of striking her. I mean if she was out of control psycho like it was like I got to get the fuck out of here It's only the woman gets so crazy the only she like yelled shit like why do you fucking hit me then? I'll bitch. I will fucking tune you now. I gotta go. Yeah. Yeah, she put it on the table. Yeah, and it's like All right, I gotta go Punch in the steering wheel. Have you ever struck women? No, but I have I have though I the only the only time I've ever got I've only hit one girl in my life and that was when I was in fifth grade What's a cut-off to like I think a Did you mean to yeah, yeah, of course, dude, we were so she was a tomboy and we were like wrestling in her living room

She's lesbians Either way We were wrestling and then we stopped and then we were like sitting on our couch like a couple minutes after we were done And she like punched me in the balls like super hard And out of instinct. I just belted her in the face. Yeah, I was out of jealousy It was just like I just did it and then she ended up crying I split both her lips and she was like I probably put on a dress their lips. Yeah No, I left and she cry I just left while she

Came to school and she had busted. Oh Being like, oh, no I felt bad like she was gonna tell everybody and she didn't she just kept it and then I went to Because you're walking by you know, I went back cuz I liked her. I had a crush on her So you do look like an abusive dad And like a kid's movie you look like the drunk abusive day for sure you've been sober. I know whoa. Oh, yeah, dude How long great? Yeah, dude. I heard you've been killing it too. I heard you've been funnier. Yeah Beezers give me the right

Oh, yeah, yeah, remember the one time when I kicked you mistaking you for a pile of trash I came in I saw four local cans. I'm like I Came in I like soul something like maybe the left the bag of trash I held myself over oh Shana Basketball court with four loggers telling those kids how to play basketball The kids mean Shane humiliated the ones I destroy them. I also. Yeah, I think that dad like it's like crying calling my ex One we watched that one music

Would you watch? No, that's the worst part That's why I'm not doing it. Thank you. I'm embarrassed by that. It's very embarrassing. I'm embarrassed by that Nice time we both blacked out on four loggers No, this is dumb and then you put it on like Just hammered on strawberry lime I was just like holding the Kiwi lime just like you got I'm not kidding. It's as like a blueberry stash

Dude, we were sitting in you're like sitting on that stupid autumn in like Man You I gotta lay face first on the floor to get over guys don't even worry about it. The blue times just like dude I Have listened to the song It's still a good song Yeah, don't worry about the song

But yeah, a hundred plus days sober. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be tight if it was take the long way Don't guess It was funny too, somebody was like, ah, Shane or hit rock bottom. I was like, I don't know if he did I think he hit a couple of rock If you had to pick a good rock bottom that was one of my rock bottoms that day that day I was a tear. Well, let me tell you that was that was the day that I woke up because we fell in Fell asleep at like two o'clock in the afternoon. I woke up at seven at night Yeah, and I was like, it's still dark out. What's this about and then I fell asleep on your porch again for a little bit

And then I walked home and I remember thinking like this is bad. Yeah, in those days. That's not horrible for you That's not that bad headbutt in the wall Yeah, that one I was like fuck him was that after a contest no No, no, no, I think it was yeah, whatever. It doesn't matter. You got drunk and headbutt at all Dude, you guys have Jerry's number Was that the green room? No The main room I fucking went jumped up I try to get in on that and patch that and make a few bucks, but they wouldn't have me

Maybe go back and patch it and I did it Fucking my back I bought spackle everything and how wide of a hole is the drunkest thing I've ever heard I had to go back Don't worry, I got spackle I walked there and I got went in a hardware store bought it size bucket spack you get Little boy. Yeah, little oh yeah big enough one where I'm like I don't know how much I'm gonna need cuz then I because I didn't know how little you know How bad the damage wasn't I got there and I was like I kept my head in the way bad being like holy crap Did you just go straight plastered you know, I put a little bit of that weird like it looks like screen

Yeah, I got that but the guys know what I'm gonna do it up. No, you did it You did a good job and good done a blowout patch, but the cause yeah a lot of people just jam that stuff in there No, I wouldn't have done that cakes up and cracks too much too much I think you're looking at Godine. Yeah, that's one and then I guess I Got fucking snaps Do me a favor when that when you edit this video, please edit the sneezing panda video with that That's exactly what I just did these snaps

Don't snap. Yeah, I thought I had to throw a snap. Do you want a snap? Everyone gets to everyone gets a snap or two and throw your pleasure and hand it out your black magic, dude Dude, I just you know, I have a new lease on life. I had a reckoning in the bathtub the other day I fully comprehended the fact that I I could I probably don't I could have a fucking Degenerative brain disorder. You don't I could have a growth. Yeah, I'll be your doctor right now I could have a growth. Hey, how are you coming to this conclusion? Because I googled it. Yeah, Google But I also wanted the doctor I've been having very things that are very possibly Temporal lobe seizures, which are it's not that does sounds a lot worse than it is. It's just like a weird smell

So, you know, look, I probably I'm probably fine. I'm 99% sure I'm fine But I had just faced that 1% possibility that I have a humongous brain to him I'm gonna die very soon in any way that you see my daughter girl an instructor through life and I cried in the bathtub I've been feeling great ever since wait, what happened to the cry dude I like I was like, dude, what if I do have some fucked up thing and I don't get to like Usher my child through life. Yeah, I just ah Yeah, that's horrible. So are then but then I said, you know what? I'm just gonna fucking I'm just gonna ride this thing as hard as I can

Someone's gonna turn the lights on me. It's someone's gonna turn the lights off me eventually Someone's gonna shut my lights off eventually. Oh, yeah, I only got you know, who knows dude. I gotta live laugh love So I figured I'd throw this fucking snap see live laugh love and cry in the tub. Yeah, that's exactly. Yeah, right at the top happens I just eat and pray. Yeah, true All I do is eat and pray. Do you feel could you feel? Attacked by the snaps. I felt a little You I threw it right now. It's all you know how I get there fireworks I hate fire any time there's fire 4th of July. I'll be in my parents

Yeah Get a thunderjacket. Yeah, like something to hug me the whole time. Yeah, they're weighted. They're weighted things You give dogs. There's like a weighted blanket, but you can cut a head out of it. You're always ready my parents house I was just there yesterday Good, it's it's chaos. Yeah, where'd you even so my there's a new one. There's a new Gillis There's another kid now. Yeah, there's four children. My other niece was there. There's five kids Two sisters brother-in-law two giant dogs. Yeah, and me and both my parents it was Somebody broke into that house. That's what I was thinking about. Oh, it was just how funny it would be to just like

They'd be like how many people are in this fucking house? It would be a night just They would think they're hallucinators. They'll be like a Max Payne hallucination. It really would they'd be like and some of them are Totally fucking through they'd be thrown very Abstract pain. We really is just right come just a college brochure Coming down the steps. So I guess Some Egyptian comes rolling down like dude. This isn't real. This is crazy being punked. It's a Disney show. Yeah Phil's getting tanked. Yeah, I'm giving him a pass on that one all the women. It's just women

women and children and Meanie and he's just getting chirped at by and there was a brand a five-day old baby People are just chirp like a fucking worst day. It was dude. I got home my sister I get home. I sit down. First thing I do is there's some meatballs start crushing me Jeff I had three meatballs just three meatballs. Nice. I'm watching my figure and I think with the balls medium balls good balls homemade meat balls homemade balls by Shout out Mrs. Osborne for the homemade balls. I see she came over and blessed us with those and then

While I'm doing that my sister's like, okay, and just takes out breast pumps Starts milking. Yeah, I left I left the house. That's a weird situation. I went and got coffee. I was like, I'm not So she pumping exclusively or she I don't know I didn't ask I was furious chicks. Yeah, I'm a human the whole time Did she she just hooked up right in front of you? No, she was still she was on the recliner facing So I was in the kitchen you turn around so I couldn't see her but I saw it back of her head and I heard the You saw the milk on I didn't see the milk, but I left I said this is disgusting. What dude? It's gross Dude, it's crazy. It's like it's natural. It's like that is you're holding a thing that plugs in

disgusting She rest on the table It looked fucking hilarious shit My sister put her tits on the table and hooked the two breast pumps up and then put a blanket over top of it Just like a lunch Fucking bib on somebody it was fucking She could have hand expressed Britney squirts me with her milk all the time Oh, wait when you say look like when you throw the snaps like you're unexpected you just get hit with

Every time I go, don't don't don't I don't really I'm not a fan. Have you tasted it? Yeah, I drank it. It's very metallic. It's like it tastes sweet I first metallic. Yeah, it's all metallic. There's a ton of iron So breast milk tastes very sweet at first like this stuff is I can get into this and you go. Oh, it's like a crazy metallic tang Not as you cows got it figured out. I sip some cows milk recently Good this shit was yeah Just destroyed milk Yeah, I got some whole milk for my baby

I was like, let me sip this up and I was like this shit is pretty fucking good these you like milk I don't like whole milk that much. Yeah, I can do every once in a while. It's like a new port Yeah, well, I do reduce fat. I'm into that guy now. I can't I can't fuck Associated with skim drink, dude. I don't like that. I do skim milk does piss me it's pissed me off since I was a little child Yeah, I go to my friend's house and they have like that green cap and I'm like Shut up. What you drink skim. No, I'll cross any milk, dude I won't drink skim present me it. We use to make fun of the kids who drank skim in elementary school because it came in a pink carton Like you pussy

How about this girl there's girl who used to sell milk You would go buy your milk at lunch. Yeah, and there's one girl. She was an eighth grader She milkmaid she had a crush on me and I was a six-year-old dude. She's a beautiful milkmaid Milkers, was she ever slippy milks? She would we would we would flirt dude. You guys were like a Germanic village true She was a beautiful milkmaid. I forget her name. Good God. Oh, well, what a sweet angel. She looked like Rand Stevens It's all I remember I'm talking about beans. I pictured beans. No, I looked like beans

Stevens was Oh, I think I remember I never see the movie where she gets naked. No, Chrissy Carlson Romano is a real name I gotta say it up and I beat I should walk into my sister make dude shut this shit up I see ran and be like, yeah, right she's so fucking hot. Yeah, she was a nice fine brunette. Yeah, good Obviously the Catholic uniform Now they were in boxes, but was she holding a car? No, it was just Huge tits hanging out. Wow. What a fine memory. I haven't even thought of I haven't even thought of that's sick Yeah, that's nice. I found out where they kept all that stuff and I used to go in to help myself

Yeah, chocolates Chocolate milks Strawberry milks you guys would get strawberry milk. We didn't get I was talking about strawberry milk recently, dude I used to get the fucking you who strawberry. Yeah only ballers drank strawberry milk Some people didn't touch it. Some people didn't touch it. You know, I respect them, but I fucked with strawberry milk hard I liked it. Beezer. Did you have fun in Cleveland? I did. I got hit with a hard Oh, let's get to it. He would be a crabby. I know I hit got hit with a crap. I had to shit, dude Oh crap. I made you I thought you were laughing about all week. I was out. I've been dying

There's like a clothing store across the street from this Club in the hotel. So I like walked over. I was just looking at it. It's like It's all like cleveland shirts. So I wasn't gonna buy anything. It was just I had nothing to do I was walking around. It's like while I was like flipping through like looking at shirts, dude Just the grumble hit, dude. I literally was like Had to fucking fat walk as fast as I came back across the street like which was busy. So I was like Race to my hotel unleash Unleash help man. They took a dump in like the gift shop. No, I had to

I thought that's what you must get with the hardest dumps Some food from like yes, I'm doing from like some other country just like those gift shops Oh, yeah, yeah, like indian dudes on an american diet I crap amongst them. So I crap it. I crap in rest stops and airports Yeah, I crap in rest stops and airports every week true and it's always just me and indian dudes On yeah, they get it in they go ham, dude. That's what the best thing about keeping the mask on was True crap publicly and it felt a little safer true And then I usually have headphones in so I'm not embarrassed of my own explosive

I don't think you have Crapping in a rest stops like yeah, I'm traveling Nobody can judge you in there. You can do whatever you want like You're never judged for real, but it does drill. Good point It does feel bad when you when you're in there unloading for some time and then you walk out and there's a man waiting You know, you have to follow I love that dude. I'm gonna turn like hot now if I'm gonna turn like it's like let's get into it If I'm in a rest stop, it's like you want to feel another man's heat

Yeah, I want to see better be warm and I'm gonna shit as loud as I can Like dude, let's go. Yes. Let's see. What's up? We'll never We'll never get to do this. We don't know each other's is totally anonymous or an eye contact when you come out too Yeah, come out. Let's go. It's all yours, bro. Yeah. Yeah, all yours, bro. What's up fellas? 76 is running hot today Saw a couple cops by 326 I'm keeping an eye on that. You push your head forward too and just like later fellas

It's all yours definitely don't definitely don't wash your hands. No just walk out and go Spit on them. Just do it. I'm gonna start blowing my nose and like the air dryers just going Blowing boogers everywhere I like that. Yeah flip it up flip it up where it's heavy The guy's don't want to use any paper towels. Yeah the craft attack. That was that was the heat. I was bringing this week That's the ultimate like looking and then when you get hit just I knocked you down the peg I literally walked into this clothing store for maybe one minute walked like was in there looking at so just

No, I was coming I met down with like a half hour later and he told me and I was like that's the like the ultimate life roast You're like feeling good about yourself. You're like You gotta walk back to the other town like I'm a Damn walking back in gym shorts holding this crap. Do you ever get cramps when you get a crap? You're like what? Dude, I've got I'll get like stomach cramps. Yeah, I'll get like if I hold it in sometimes I try to be a good boy and hold it in a little too long Let me finish the dishes and I'll just be the good boy hold it in and by the time I get upstairs I'm like Oh, it starts to cramp dude

It starts to like my stomach starts to get this out now and I'll get cramps and be like I might not be able to get this out. I've got crap headaches. You got crap headache. Yeah, dude. I'm holding it in Oh, yeah, I've got crap headaches. You start sweating. You're like, fuck. I can't do I got a serious crap grain Yeah, dude crap grain dude. I've got a crap grain before And there's they don't make exception for that too. There's no crap grain So eccentric Where's the how do you get it done from that? I think you're just dehydrated dude. They used to be look at the combination thing Yeah, it might have been it

When I would work I would have to take crap And I would just be like, man, if you can get a headache from holding in there's no way You certainly can't you get a headache from literally anything. I guess especially if you google it fecal poisoning You can go septic. Yeah, well, you might have you might have uh, did you just suffer me? You might have seizures I might have epilepsy. I'm gonna subtweet. Am I gonna? Self me, dude. You self me. You said especially you look it up. You could find anything And then you jumped right to epilepsy you subbed me. Yeah, I was sub tweeting it. I'm stopping. I'm gonna stop Sometimes just want to do a podcast

Sometimes I just want to be alone Dude, if you started sub tweeting me I started thinking about that the other day Why If I saw that I would just be like, dude, what the fuck is going you would ruin my shit Actually, remember every time I did good good, they would stop doing me the whole group would just stop tweeting I was doing the dishes the other day laughing about if I started like slowly He's like super vague and then like slowly broadening it or like bringing it till I was like obviously sub tweeting you

Hey, what the fuck big it's not about you Be like very will like talk about a thing in five minutes later Dude, I would I would go do those shows And then like clockwork an hour later somebody there would be like raise this motherfuckers shouldn't be on stage You just gave me a handshake. It's dude. You just laughed. I watched you laugh, dude All I know is I won't say who one of them told me digital graffiti was the best show they've ever seen Yeah, they all loved it. Oh, yeah, we gotta bring that back. That was a great show. Yeah I've been talking about since the podcast started. We've never brought it back. Oh, you know what we could do it

I have that show on the fifth. Maybe we could do it at healing That'd be tight Oh, we said I had a second show. Yeah, I don't know if I want to do too Yeah, first one sold out right away. No big deal, dude Instantly, dude. It's not a big deal, dude. Those are so I live Proptacular. Yeah, dude Um That'd be fun. That's like this weekend. Yeah, it's this the fifth crazy month this monday. Yeah, there you go

It's monday you guys fifth of july. How are you gonna celebrate the fourth man? What are you doing? Um, I'm gonna go to my aunt's house. Hmm. Yeah, they have an inflatable hot tub. I'm gonna hop in that thing That sounds terrible. No, I don't I think they'll have cold water. No, they're sick, dude I like hot tubs, but it's gonna be 110 degrees. No, but it will probably fill it with cold water All right, so wait You're supposed it's supposed to be hot. So it's just a pool with jets. It's supposed to be hot though So it's just gonna be a bunch of cousins hopping in a lukewarm inflatable tub piping They have a big ass. Are you a piss in the tub? Yeah, dude. Definitely. It's it's a size of his table

I don't know if I would have another revelation in that tub. Yeah, what if you start thinking You know good you feel after you cry. Yeah, it's great. You feel so good I don't cry all the time, dude. Shut up. I've been crying in a while Dude, you don't remember yourself crying. You're probably getting hammered. Do you know how many times I saw you cry? You used to cry and heal him every weekend, dude You used to black out and be like, man, I'm like, not now shader Beezer cries every night Beezer goes home and puts his head in the pill He kind of comforts you. What's wrong? Beezer cries guard dog gets in there. He's like

Guard dog when's the last time you cried probably after that roast battle Probably after the boys roasted you That was a delayed act. No, it doesn't give a fuck high as hell You're not high at all today. Yeah, right. Didn't even react. What are you? I was high earlier. Yeah, you were high today. Shut up You're legally fine to drive. This is very funny. I'm not gonna put who it was on blast But somebody in my family was eating a brownie yesterday and they were like, this brownie's so good And I was like, when's the last time you had a brownie? I was like, stop eating fucking brownies every day

She was eating a brownie. Oh, fuck. They were eating brownie And uh, well, there's a couple of you but then uh I was like, when's the last she's like, I can't remember. I don't know. I was like, I bet within the last 24 hours Oh, no, then it switched to ice cream. I was like, when's the last time you had ice cream ice cream? She was like, I was just being an asshole. Yeah, but well, she was lying. She was lying Oh, she was like, I don't know. I don't know if I can ever have that. That's an imprint And I was like, you had when's the last time you had ice cream? She's like Three days ago

I was like, I don't know this for sure, but I guarantee in the last 24 hours you've had some ice cream And then the other sister chimed in and ratted her out and then it was it. Yeah, there was a fight Then I was an asshole girls with ice cream is like how many days has gone by is like us not coming It's the same thing. True. They can do like three days and they were like, fuck I need to scoop just one bite and then put it back They need ice cream, dude. Yeah, it's great girls are fucked up on sugar right now I didn't even know off sugar wine wine got them and they're hard on sugar. Oh, yeah, they got fucked by wine Wine wine is the wine crush them. That's the crazy wine's fucked up

They also like it's such a weird trend for the last like decade not that wine obviously wines ancient No, like the last 10 years it was like I drank wine every day It's like stop drinking a bottle of wine and watch in the office Yeah, I was a wine and next go from just two bottles of wine a day Dude, no shit. I love the jam and pan and then I would be like, oh Fuck you. You're not jamming. I wonder if that's a turn you in alcoholic What trying to keep up with that bitch. I was drinking two bottles No, man, I was because we would get we would hang out and she'd be like, well, are you going to get something?

Yeah, I'll get a bottle. She an antifa. She was an antifa. No. Oh shaders exclusively dated antifa. Really? Yes, dude Yeah, tattooed vixens that hate capitalism. They just hate everything. Yeah, so you're dicking them down. I don't fucking care Then you have a dated antifa. Have you really? Yes. Dated antifa? Well, every single one of his chicks has their pronouns in their bio and has Yeah, we were talking about that yesterday. No, no, he got lit up Nope, Shane is sexist and racist found that out. Definitely. You are. Yeah without a doubt. Um, so No, no, not the one the one uh The last one and the one before that definitely didn't give a shit about pronouns at all

And then the other how they feel about trump How they feel about trump they both thought he was retarded. Okay, but you ever bang a pro trump? Yeah Really? I don't care. I don't care what your political views are as long as you're looking to get you're trying to come Yeah, yeah, as long as you're looking to get it as long as you're looking to get it and I play the field So it's just like, oh, you hate this. I hate that too. Yeah Yeah, I wonder how many guys are actually like dudes are like that Like you you like trump see

No, not at all Not at all in front like you know social media, but girls do it too. A lot of those girls bullshit There was a fucking thing like on my tinder profile. I put I have no religious or political views and then I put it on there And then I would like swipe and get a match and then it'd be like, how can you not have any political views? Yeah, I was gonna say that's got to work against you It does sometimes you was like, what the fuck are you talking about and like when I registered the vote I registered as no affiliation and I got shit for that too. Yep. What the fuck for her from the people at the polls I'm fucking not kidding you. I fucking pushed it. I was just like, what are you talking about? They're like, oh, no affiliation

Okay, I'm like Fuck off. Yeah, dude. Did you tell him you were in the industry? You say bro, drop that I'm in the industry. Yes. I hate it when they say the industry. I have fucking why I know you He fucking hates it anyway, because it's not the industry is talking to service industry. Yeah, I'm talking about manufacturing I had some waiters and waitresses coming at me about your thing about not paying them I tip them. I tip them. Well, I tip them I tip them well. I'll tell you why I tip them because when I started Pardon me

Whoa, come on Yeah, you can do that. I remember that. I remember the cool kids would do that in my neighborhood I you knew a dude who used to put one single black hat on the palm of his hand and light it off Damn. Yeah, you do the bottle. I don't know where that was. Do the bottle rockets out your hand. Yeah, bad kid. That was one of my bad kids So I want to the reason I tip so much is because when I started at healing I had zero money So like I'd be working a weekend and they'd give you free beers and then I would just not tip them Sure, because that first of all I was hosting. I'd be getting a hundred 200 bucks. Maybe the whole weekend

And then it got around and some of the waiters and waitresses at healing like hated me and were like mean about it You were poor. I was a poor man. Yeah. Now I come in. They're like, oh, we love you Fucking scum You scum that's what I'm saying. Yeah, and now whenever I'm out I tip excessively. I always say well, I'm 20% but you do not If I don't know I'm joking. I know I think I tip I fuck myself by going But I would tip even when I didn't have a lot of money I would tip over high and like I remember that's industry code. They're just like over high like over high whatever What's over high? It's good over the high. Yeah, like all day in the kitchen. Yeah, we got a four on list two sausages all day

So anyway, I would do that and that's over high Like over 20% I see. Oh, I'm always yeah But it but I would do it But half it was because I didn't know math very well, so I would just like try Yeah, I've missed that a couple times. I don't know what I'm doing. So I would always tip high and be like, wow, that's very generous I'm like now it's double it Fucking like there be times like oh, wow. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah Yeah, I tip well, but in my head. I'm like, I think we should do it

I think it does a disservice when you uh pay a job that high That's that meaniel Like waitress. What they get paid like 600 bucks a night. I don't understand. Why 600 bucks a night. Yeah, but they don't get any benefits I didn't get fucking benefits forever. Then they complain. They're looking at jobs so hard. It's like, no, it's fucking not. It's mindless. Mr. Pink I think it's hard I could not be a busy waitress. It's I could literally never do but for 600 bucks I had to stand like to film things all day and I was like, I'm just so it's not even just Obviously get used to it. It's the other that is that's taxing. I'm saying yeah, but you don't cry about it

I see waiters all the time like So hard this guy was mean to me It's like first off that comes to the territory. Everyone's a dick. Everyone starts out with an F when they come in a ball That's how I feel everyone I would there was a there was a comedian one time, bro. I look do your job. I don't care. I've get paid They're like, I don't hear waiters just shut up and dribble. That's what you're saying shut up and drip I should do demolition I would like be doing that and be dealing with comedians who were like

Oh, some guy was such an asshole at my table. I only made 550 I'd like I'd make like 150 bucks out in the sun all day. Yeah, you're gonna cry I think it's more like the way that is you know exactly what the fear from the industry What I'm gonna say is that you know exactly what the fuck you're doing and you're in your element When you are dealing with the general fucking populace of these fucking animals that come in the goddamn building It's way different and here's something you've never had to deal with when you're doing Yeah, you're a bus boy But what I'm also going to say is when you're there for fucking 13 hours

You're dealing with another elemental people pissing and shitting and puking and bleeding all over the fucking place That's the difference, man A lot of people don't fucking get that because when you're at the goddamn job site, you know what you're doing You don't have to fucking deal with other fucking retards. I'm fucking telling Everybody fucking says it and don't get me wrong. I'm not saying there are pussies in the industry It's filled in strife with those faggots, but the problem is The problem is the problem is everyone shits on the industry because like oh you're bitching and pissing It is a hard job. It is if you've never done anything else. That's harder

Okay, I'm not look Any other job is hard. All right. All right. I'm also speaking from fact that I was a bar back I wasn't a serp. So was I so was I so what I'm not gonna say on that 13 hour shift when you're moving a bunch of crap And you're also cleaning up. Someone's diarrhea and someone's pew Yeah, that's see you'd quick. Yeah, you don't have it because you know because I was just selling drugs and I could do whatever I wanted I guess I can't fucking compete with that I think it is hard The fact that you could lose your job at any minute because someone'd be like, I don't like your attitude

You get every job. No, that's not. No, that's your boss. I'm talking about the fucking yelp review Now that I know I can take him out I'm gonna start sorry waiting waiters with yelps. No, don't do that. That's Yo, man, I'm stop, bro Don't do that. I just love gassing up waiters as any other job is like your jobs aren't hard. They're like, all right, dude Whatever, like, you know waiters. He said he's triggered you in this bad city. Sorry. That was a trigger. I'm sorry. I went off dating waiters Oh, dude, you're defending, you know The waiting industry it's servants. You might get some pussy out of this. I did. I bet you do

Some high-wasting chick is just letting her belly in her fucking jeans. Like, yeah I'm gonna do with white man That's the woman not you that actually sound more like you. Yeah, I Support you in this argument. I think Matt's being rude. No, he's but he's but he's not being he's not making invalid points Just because he thinks the job's easy Yeah, you could So a lot of drugs in a restaurant. Oh, there's a lot of drug everywhere. You're telling me you'd cross Typically drug addicted people are the hardest workers. What's that?

There's always drug addicts restaurants are infested with drug addicts. Oh, yeah, it's complaining drug addicts easy job It's not that hard and they're getting paid. It's just so much and they're buying drugs Yep, I'm trust me. Yeah, they need to start working hard like comics. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I just killed out my backyard today, dude That's hard work I was out in 95 degrees just loving it, dude. Yeah loving it. I don't want to hear any lip. I've mowed the lawn the other day I don't want to hear you live from the fucking bartender Bartender's cake, dude. I was a bus bus boy Bartending bar tending is also the true hero. I was a bus boy. So what's that? I watched dishes. So wait, I heard you

Watch this just do how long I watched this as to how long did you do it for? The always a couple months and I'm like fuck this. I liked washing dishes, but I didn't hate it That did roll washing dishes don't get me wrong. Like if I was working in it like I'd never The industry is gonna say I'd never wanted to be a bartender at all because I didn't want I didn't give a shit about Making drinks for anybody I respect bartenders. Also a lot of times people never gave me a fucking no everyone. That's mean everyone thought I was retarded That's fucked up. I run into that all day Everyone thought I was retarded

I respect you because I would just stand me on the bar and just walk it back down I don't know. I don't know. You dare try to sit back. I respect barkeep. I don't have a problem here A good barkeep? They earn their money. Sleeveless man is a is a motherfucker, dude The barkeep is the biggest cream adana Yo, you look like Hulk Hogan, dude Yo, Hogan, do one of these Dude, do the dump knife Now, both of you

Yeah, dude, you look jack as hell I stole a bartender's tips when I was a busboy one time. Oh And it's funny because you're like deep people don't work. I'm just gonna go in and do the worst job I was going in self-suboxone Like pussy, so I'm out of here. Wow Once I once I got enough money to buy like a half pound a week of that guy quit Yeah, what do you feel when the industry gets disrespected like this? How do I feel?

And I'm glad about it because when I've I've been on the I've disrespected the industry myself I've run into some bitch ass There's too many anti-files in what I'm gonna tell you like I said, there is a lot of shitty people who work in it They're they're not gonna get away from that and you're gonna get a what and you're also just jerks sometimes Yeah, they're annoying people Yeah, they just get in and they shouldn't be in there anyway But the fact of the matter is they're not the Richmond bartender that guy's actually chill Are people who are just trying to work and get as much money as they can because they have other shit going on

But when people come in and they're immediately like, oh this guy's working in a bar, of course. He's fucking stupid Why? No, no, no, but you said that you say that you said, yeah, tantamounted what you're getting I'm saying stop complaining. It's just a job and they're very well paid What I'm saying is I'm not one for complaining about the job. It sucks and you bitch. Oh shit That's why he complains all the time about the job. Oh all his facebook posts and shit. You are coming at him I was just complaining about the patron all the fuck We were also a door guy too. Yeah, I was also a fucking door guy

I've been spit on three times shown a gun once and what'd you do? What'd you do? Said where's your id? You told me wasn't wb mason. Yeah, dude Not shane or jong nichi I've been full over the fucking looks good. Yeah, I wasn't coming at you Oh, the door guy though I'll say because you're the deal with him head on Fucking IDs. Oh, that's shit. That's very. I would drive me. I was going to case girls do it girls are waitresses

Yeah, I did girls can do it easy. I was a door guy I was a door guy at westchester university ryan's pub Yeah, but you're big. I let every single person in I didn't id once that's great See that's I never stopped one person from that's your that's your fucking thing But you're a big dude that if you said like hey do this they would fucking do it one thing that here's here's a fuck No, here's everybody just pushes you to the side. No, it's a fun battle fact. No drunk person No drunk person is ever taking any

There is nothing more humbling than trying to get in a fight with somebody and they just put their hand on your Dude, you your dick goes inside your body. You're a tough guy. You're a little Wolverine I'll eat punches to get to where I need to be and you're usually blacked out I don't typically had a hell of a chin on you while you're out there. Oh, yeah I've been punched in the face many times because that's my reality You have to do that to get that's about to get you if you can A little chirping at him. Oh, dude. I love it. I love it. I love it, dude Oh

You can't be stabilized. I was working my fields all day. I have my land out behind me. I have 40 square feet. I have 40 square feet of dirt. I disturbed my soil. I was pulling worms out I discovered a concrete pad candy land over here. What are you doing? You gotta aerate the soil. My soil was like Hey, were you wearing a white suit? We're fucking this dude. Whoa, dude. I've never this is might be the most heated episode we've ever had your fuck That's coming in. Just I'm not true. Look, it is my fault. It is my fault. What is your fault, dude? Don't say no, you're fine. Yeah, don't say sorry. It's because I'm double down Double down

You said what you said Because I thought about I thought about slipping a lyric in I was like, no Song is I won't no, it's dude. It's it's it's I actually feel like I don't say anything. I feel like shit. I'm not telling them. They'll tell us. No way. I still tweeted Remember the restaurant in Philly that paid like You're still going back. No, no, no. It's a good thing. They gave benefits. Yeah to their wages. See that's what happened Don't a lot of corporate restaurants do that. They're like I don't do and now because everything has so been so devastated They gave benefits to the wait staff and whatever

I Was actually excited for them to do that and then it unfortunately went out of business And the waitresses are back to the streets just for tips Only fans the only fans, dude All the all the antifa waitresses are only fans also They love thigh tattoos. They love being riddled in tattoos. I mean, I'd I'd like that It's not gonna be cool. You've admired some five or six years. They're gonna look foolish They're gonna look like buffoons. They give birth. I don't think the baby comes out and cries. They're like, yeah

I don't know. She's a tattoos. I'm all about it. I'm all about it. Always happen. The tattoo. I love it What's the sickest tattoo you've ever seen on a baby? What's the best that? Uh, this one chick had and it like it was a it was a bunch of snakes that went up her legs up to her Which were fucking awesome That was a bunch of snake again Like there was like three or four and then there was another chick that I was really into at snakes on her ass I had a big snake thing for a little bit, which was snakes on the ass Snakes on the ass or dope. I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes

How many tramp stamps did you say you've glazed? So many dude, really so many Once I fucking fucks are hot dude. I fucking came on a Chick had a huge starry night tramp stamp the entire port and our fucking gist on that that was a tramp stamp It was huge. What a fucking asshole. Was she in the industry? Nope. Nope. She will be No But yeah, I love the industry I worked in it dude. I was in the industry. You barely you dab barely right in there

Where'd you work longer construction or the industry? The job I was building things, dude How much were you building? I was building. Were you building a lot? I was taking them down. How much? How's wiring ceilings dude? How much what I do is important. I build things So wait what what the people doing the industry isn't important. Is that what you're saying? Is that what you're getting? It's servile microwaves can do what they do I mean, dude this that's the

Behold your replacement Tji friday, he's like, oh, excuse me lady. I don't want to hear you complain. Do you remember that place california sams? I know I have nothing. I remember that place. Yeah. What was it man? I'm nothing against. I really I don't think you did california sams This was years ago. They had phones at each other booths. You just call in. Yeah, it was like a big deal at the time Now I think of it. It's like they're trying to wipe wait staff way before this argument You have to fire if you're running a restaurant I'm gonna give you from the inside scoop from a restaurant tourist perspective You gotta you're supposed to fire your entire wait staff every like you got to do a purge

Because they all start fucking stealing and starting unionizing and stealing you have to you have to purge them every six months You got to wipe them off. I don't know that that's you got to wipe out the pros I don't know. Tell me they'll start to start giving stuff away one of the bartenders like, you know, come on in That's one thief. They're thieves. First off. First off the giving stuff away is how you build Giving stuff away is how you build a clientele That's how you build a clientele and you get regulars that are good You don't understand how this game works man. You're out of your element I'm giving it to all your buddies. No

We took the sleeves off and this is The sleeves are off From a restaurant tour's perspective Who do you think's the bigger restaurant tour me what a taco shop Damn, I was next to the restaurant tour and I'd be like, I would see what it would have you What have you I can't I can't I always see things from the macro. You can't respond. I can't have no comebacks to the taco shop. I've never I've never I know it's pretty. Do you want me to give you a couple months? What I'm what I'm saying is

I've I've helped open it's like I sailed a ship This is the titanic. It was a hell of a sailor I didn't wait. You fucked it up. Don't worry about now. He didn't No one fucked it up Yeah, man. Wow. Yeah, jeez. You just fucked up. All right. Sorry. No, it was just the economy, dude Yeah, the economy. No, it was the the staff was just got too expensive and he had to close it down No, he sold it. He sold it to the dudes that work for him. Well, that's Yeah, it still thrives. It's good. It's still alive. But not that what I'm trying to say is when you get the macro picture

You see you see the bicker in you see the fight you just go, you know what it's clean house Cut them loose. You get a new squad. Yeah, you're capitalist. You get a new crop tycoon Yeah, you go and you're that's why I'll be on it. They get toxic They start getting like they start getting binds and fighting. I'm telling once they get a little older The binding in the fight the in fighting is terrible. That's you're you're always going to deal with that No matter who the fuck. Oh, dude, trust me, especially when you own it, dude You are hiring slots that love coke and and dudes that love to prey on them. Exactly You're you're gonna you're gonna have a toxic element no matter what you do. That's why you gotta just

Clean house but yeah, that doesn't always help because then you're bringing in a new crop of Yeah, but then give then it buys you like two or three years. Yeah, you've got buffer months You feed one drugs and you're like, hey, you like these people coming you keep a loyal one and you go Then they start down in water showing a couple late. Here's fucking 200 bucks. Give me the inside scoop I'm gonna fucking clean everything. Everything you're saying doesn't really apply to me because I don't do any drugs And I never show up late true that so I never all the things that you all these elements you're talking about You've never showed up late. Never. I'm always on timer early at every second job sober. I've no it was sure Let's put it this way

Ha There's not one job I've ever done in this world where I haven't had a few in the chamber. That's oh my god That's that's the most that's like That is it's funny though because that's the drunkest dude thing. They're like, I'm always on time It's hammered like I'm never late I'm always on time. I'm never late and I do my job accordingly if I fuck up I fuck up and I own it But One second, I'm not gonna come to that job with a little sauce on the fucking brain. You're goddamn dumb. I hear you

That's fucking impossible You're goddamn dumb. You're thinking about this. These are way hilarious. No way Oh, no, I already know who you fucking support. You don't like waiters and waitresses. No, no, no I've heard some of the shit come out of your mouth. I don't know. I agree on both sides of it Waiters are very racist like people saying like my job is entirely too hard It's like wow is it I don't think it's that hard but I do Agree with shane or with certain parts you're straddling the line. I am with it because I worked in it I worked in the industry for a little

But then I you know, I just really my biggest issue with this whole thing is people calling it the industry Fucking hate that Spies people calling it the industry just say restaurants or bars. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know why I think of the industry I think of like humongous. Yeah, you think of the industry and believe me. I don't know how that got adopted There are two things in this. Yeah in in the bar industry that I never knew why they got adopted One calling it the industry and two why fernetta so fucking popular. It sucks fernetta. It's dumb is what it is It's like the the shift shot that everyone does every now and again. It's like fucking uh, it's a nice industry The industry is nice. It is camaraderie. Yeah, I like

Certain people Some guys don't like it. No, I'm saying it's fine. There's no guys no good better than everybody there I don't think I'm better than them. You don't think you're better than waiters and waiters. No, man. I don't know about that I think we all have unlimited I say don't complain We all have unlimited potential, dude. I don't snuff any of them from doing their thing It's just it, you know, making 600 bucks a night. You're fucking around. I think it's gonna last 600 bucks Where do you go in 600?

Loomisiano always would come in when he worked in LA in a five-star restaurant No, I don't know. He was in Philadelphia. He was also at a five-star restaurant talking about make 400 Oh, I made only made 500. Oh, so you got a bit of the jealous bug. Yeah, not jealous I would hear I would hear the money and go that sounds like decent money But I don't think we'll ever complain either. Yeah, Lou never complained. He was too yacked up to complain Lou was going a mile a minute like a fucking meteorite going into some chick's ass. He was I'm not mad all I'm saying I've heard I've heard a lot of complaining coming from restaurant people and I hear though I like how much you make I go

It's not bad bucks there, brother I mean, you should also you got it again You got to take in consideration How much is your job that you the job you perceive and how much other shit you got to deal with it And you you got to take in mind the mats I'm just a humble blue collar guy. So if you're talking to him about this type of big bucks He doesn't want to hear any belly and here's the other thing too How much the restaurants pay their staff an hour?

How much do they pay them an hour? Nothing, right? Yep. Let's wait. They have like 325 When I first well now it's it's up now because of the pandemic. They're trying to get people to come back Yeah, no one's all the waiters. Oh, yeah, bandage. Yeah. So that's that's the thing And it was also because the clientele got exponentially worse Everyone's a fucking cocksucker now Everyone's a real the people who come to the fucking bars. They're terrible. They're fucking terrible. What do they do? They're just what complain you want to talk about complaining everyone fucking complaints Shut the fuck up and the waiters and waitresses and the customers like cats and dogs. Oh, yeah, dude

It's it's it's bad. It's great. I ran into it. I didn't even I ran into that buzz saw on richman, dude I had no idea what happened with that. I just told him I was on molly 15 times and I got annoyed Well, yeah, that'll happen. I was being sweet. I mean, it's being a dick or loud. I was not being a dick I was definitely not being loud and there's no reason to be mad about that I don't think they were mad. Who knows he the guy was a very good sport about it. Yeah, he just wasn't on molly, too He just didn't care. That's why I think that's what I was heard about. I don't know. He didn't care and I was like, you know That's wrong. That's wrong. You should care. Somebody comes up to me. It's like, you know, I'm If I'm bar keep, I'm bar keep. I'm like, what you doing, brother? Let's talk about it. Yeah. Yeah, you would have shummed down

Oh, man. You know, you think that. Yeah, you would never do that. I'd be a daytime bar keep. I'd be a daytime bar Yeah, and then you'd be pissed off went because you can't give me a rag Matt you can't control the people who come in. That's all Yeah, what I'd fucking know. You wouldn't be fired Shirts Yeah, no t-shirts that go no white t-shirts No flat brim hats at all Oh, fuck. Yeah, you you can't control the like the bitches that come in for a brunch

Or you can't control the people who come in for like that are just terrible Not sure I don't want to and you'd think you'd be cool with it and you would have been for like maybe a Industry I've been in the industry dude. He's been in the industry when someone when someone would go fucking low dude I go high in the industry I don't want to talk about this anymore. We're at 42 minutes Okay, oh shite the timing's off. Okay. You're part of the industry. You would have been he knew exactly how long the shift has been Yep, I'm ready to clock out Yeah, I'm just fucking around. I don't

I don't think I don't think you really hate I don't if you had to guess who do you think's more mad or apologetic right now You think he's mad and apologetic Yeah, I think he regrets I'm more apologize. I think you you out you owe him an apology. I think I don't think you owe me any And I do regret it how I you better go over. I think I know I feel bad about it. I shouldn't dude. Hey, he attacked you Indirectly attacked your people. It was an indirect assault Because I forgot while he was talking I forgot how many times you've complained off Facebook about people coming in

So I had no I didn't even think about it until I didn't think about that at all I know he didn't think about it, but it was there was a great guys. Go ahead. Fine. I'll write this thing for a second Yeah, why don't you go shake on it? Who's gonna say damn you guys are both strong damn who's stronger? Who do you think? Shader no I would never say I'm stronger than anybody. No, I honestly almost passed out my backyard today I was like, how did I use to fucking do this? I was tilling up soil and I was like I checked my heart rate on my watch. I was like, I'm up to 138

I better take I'll go inside for a little bit I'm steaming but um Yeah, dude, it's all the the one time I genuinely was like what the fuck there was a comedian way back when he became I think uh went the actor route. Um, he was also a bit of an entrepreneur, but he was He came he made a facebook post he was like I've been a waiter out here in LA and I can't find any comfortable shoes Some of my shifts go up to six hours and my feet are killing me. I was like, I've ever been like He got all pissed off, you know I'm talking about uh, I think I do he was an entrepreneur

Dude, he had a whole you know product line he came out with Oh, fuck I'll tell you guys I don't want to put the old boy on blast But yeah, he would he would like to be like I've been on my feet for six hours at work today And it's like I was like typical work shifts eight hours, bro Stop crying That's it does come from your family. Yeah, we've got nothing but assholes about like Oh, what you tired you sit

You don't want to work today That's like the ultimate flex and the mccusker family's like I was just doing this Well, I mean, that's off, dude I grew up with some people my dad always be like 40 hours just to keep the lights on dude It's part time My mom again like I could never bitch about work My mom would be like are you're complaining? She worked third shit at a geriatric home like and it's grossest Literally the graveyard. She was like this is the grossest thing I've ever done and she's like

That's when they all lose their minds and they're like It is I don't even think they have an attack. I think they just go Dude, she would come home and she would tell it like in the middle like she would cook dinner And we'd be eating and she'd be like this fucking lady just like the amount of shit that was all You're like this soup's good. Yeah Just hosing down like dude old asses just the amount Dude, I'm telling you man. They're gray genitals. She saw we're fucking disgusting

You're only supposed to see you only have enough like brain chemicals to see like your parents super aged and naked once She doesn't you know your parents are getting older. You're supposed to sponge bath them a couple of times You can't be seeing like hundreds of naked old people. I don't know that must fuck you up. It's like being a butcher Yeah, I mean that's what's it and a lot of people die They'll do just the amount of death. We don't get attached. I would keep it. I'd keep it icy as hell She was like leon the professional dude. Yeah Coming out of the fucking no women don't get close to me. Yeah, just old asses. Yeah, I couldn't complain about work to her And I never did

Usually just complain about the people that come to your door. Yeah It's just the people that come at this point in you man. What these guys have been such good friends to us and we wanted to break because you fucked it's a very good funny podcast Thank you And we wanted to bring them in celebrate shaynor sobriety. I am and you come in here and attack him and treat him like a jerk I was caught into you. Tell me dude yesterday. We should have these guys at hell. Yes. Be honest. I was pumped. I was like I got some beef with shaynor No, I had no idea it was a surprise attack. You were crying in the tub. Did you look up for your fucking piece of shit shaynor?

I have no problem with shaynor. I can't believe you hate shaynor dude. I'm happy for him. I'm pumped I just dude the industry gets me. Dude. I'm telling you when you're 126 feet up in the air You know you read a tweet some guys like So if I if we got a hold of billy would he say you were a big demo guy? Yeah, man. All right. I have no idea Dude, I'm the heights guy. All right. I'm not my dad. They would send me up. I'm a high guy, bro All right. Oh, you already chopped out a fucking uh going the elevator shoot. I'll stand in there dude. Strap me up I'm fucking I'm high guy, bro. I'm mission impossible the job. So I would do reckless shit too I don't have any problems. I don't put it past you

That's the that's the bread and butter. I don't want Shane turn this into a me versus you thing. I did this man, except some personal responsibility Brian What are you talking about? Yeah, six. What's up, dude? Final word I'm waiting for this to uh eight minutes. It's done. No, easy. Totally made up stoked on each other Let's talk about the thing with you and Shane going on that dynamic between you guys on the road. Oh, yeah Good dynamic. Yeah better than o'connor. O'connor is getting fucking snipped He's a fucking negative Nancy on the road, dude

How are you richman? It was he was great, but he was also richman did kind of suck. So we I'm also a negative Nancy. Yeah the last thing I needed. I need a solid rock like the bees, dude Absolutely the bees buzzing around. Yeah, I'm buzzing. No motion I do you want to do the Pittsburgh improv? No, yeah, I got actually a couple requests about that. Yeah, hell yeah They did they asked me yesterday and they were like, who's open for you? I was like Brian six They're like, can we get his or they asked something? Yeah, like is it definitely him? I was like, look whoever's opening for me. We'll just call them Brian six if they need that that's sick They don't need the bees though. I lost my bees on Friday. That was tough

They're announced with my name for some reason they were like, please let me feature in your feature act all the way from Philadelphia Brian Beezer six. I was some fucking Hell yeah Yeah, but then I'm like Friday after the second show and I told you I didn't do great Like Brian six That is if you want to see me and Beezer, that's July 29th 30th and 31st Hell yeah, I didn't improv. So yeah, we'll get a couple DMs about going up there. I've been up there a while I'm pumped. Pittsburgh's nice, huh?

Pittsburgh's great. I'm not a Pittsburgh. I'm not I was there one time in a dreary day. It's a dreary city. It is dreary. It's a dreary city. Off to dreary. It is. Is this person who loves industry? You hate Pittsburgh? Yeah, you hate the city. A lot of hard work though. A lot of hard work there. I was making content I'm creating tension. A lot of hard work there. Oh, the steel work? A steel plant? I kind of love Those steel, you can tell the people who live there were steel like dude, the women there are fucking huge I was in Pittsburgh. Everyone's huge. Really? Women are all stripper build Then they all wear palmalu jerseys

Everybody in this city is wearing a steelers jersey. They're jacked dude. I was seeing that. I was admiring the women I was at a wedding one time a long time ago Miring the women there. I'm like, you guys are some bucks and broads. You're like just vikin scoping them. They're like, look at these fucking women I'll just give them a little like Saps What'd you do in Cleveland? Did you have fun? Yeah, it was good. What have you been up to at home? Yeah, what's up? Nothing This is it. All right. What do you do during the day to occupy yourself? I'm playing a lot of hockey right now in the NHL. I'm in a tough season

I just got traded to Pittsburgh, which is a fucking piece of shit because I hate the penguins Yeah, they don't like me I do nothing for the team every move because you get to choose your move, you know I go against the team every time. Yes. I have promises. I do not Foul through on they want two goals on me. I give them nothing. Yeah, that game's weird You were like playing and I was watching you have to talk to the coach every three minutes. Yeah, which is so funny Yeah, yeah, they bring a storyline. They bring them over. You give the coach attitude. Oh, yeah Yeah, you can sass coach. Yeah, because it's either like team response or star response

They don't even need a team response from me in Pittsburgh. Thank you, bro. You should be wearing this No, no. Yeah, let me see you with those on and the tank and now let's see if shane wants to talk shit Say what you want. Although this is the most salt life you've looked I'd look I can't even do anything. Fuck you do look salt life. I got a red Dude, I'm not wearing sleeves the rest of summer. Nice, man I can't wear dude. I can hardly wear a shirt. This is the first time I've ever worn sleeveless shirt and I see that I think it's illegal Yes, look at this redneck rainbow dude, that's fucking nasty dude. I told you nothing but no sleeves all summer that factory

I worked at remember that there was a big obese guy that had I told you this he had fucking So there's a locker room because we worked in a factory. Yeah That's the ice cream factory. There's a factory and uh, this big fat guy about just falling in The terminator is like a long mirror It's a terminator steak It's funny. He's got a waffle cone at the end. I tried to I tried to remember what it was. What he did when he was going down I literally was like I saw that I was like, did he do that? Yeah, dude. He didn't know what to do. He's like, okay

There was a big fat guy Blind big fat guy. Perfect. And he we all had to wear jumpsuits And when he was in the locker room we would unzip his and he had a perfect Uh overalls tan suspenders not Suspenders so this obese dude was just outside up in the hills in just suspenders all the time It was crazy. I couldn't believe he was outside getting Just suspenders huge dude. I'm talking like Almost 400 probably like somewhere between three

And he these go all these dudes lived up in the hills in the appellations So this guy was just a 400 pounder outside wearing suspenders Up in this. It was so scary. How'd he get so small probably the ice cream factory I munched in the screen. That's somebody stealing that's stealing. Yeah, that was a guy. I that was a guy I filmed Taking a shit on my camera phone and then uh when I came home I showed my sisters and my mom got a hold of it and cried. What why my mom's a blind man taking a phone A blind obese man taking a shit. Why did your mom cry about that? Because she was unhappy that that's what her son heard Baby boy was up to. Yeah, I mean that's filming guys crap in there. No, he's 400 pounds. Yeah, he was an aerial shot

Maybe it was the fact Yeah, going under would be crazy. Well, how would he know he's an old dog? He had no I think he heard some noise and he was like Oh If you know a blind man's in the stall you can peep at will so he probably grew that fat to cover his penis So he didn't get fucking Who's over there and he was like fuck this there's so many people trying to film I Blind fat guys wild blind fat guys the move actually blind people should be fat. Yeah, why not? I think yeah

Also, especially if your senses increase how delicious treats must be If I was blind, well, I mean I can see it. I'm pretty fat If I was blind, I'm like 40 a unit. Yeah, you're not fat. You're not like missing out on anything You're fucking blind dude. Just die when you're 30. Yeah You know treat now dude when you're blind as many treats as you can play the piano Play the piano. Ray Charles did right. He was doing like heroin and oh, yeah Blind heroin must be crazy. Oh, man. Did you imagine tripping? While blind, I just talked about this with someone that's fucking maybe on the podcast

There's I was I watched ray and they hand him his newborn like while he's on heroin Yeah, and it was just making me laugh that he's blind and on heroin and getting handed a baby. He must have been like Oh my god, dude He's just admitting to things Oh, shit, dude This baby way Too much. This is too much. You put the baby in his mouth a little bit. He's like, oh Being blind is nuts. You mind would suck especially since birth my cousin's blind. Yeah, Ray Charles

Also site. He was born with sight. Yeah, richard's a young boy. Yeah, but I'm yeah, but what do you think's worse never seen Nothing or that's seeing. I don't know. It depends on what you see first That's also if you're tripping what the fuck are you seeing? You don't even know what that is You don't even know what colors are. That's true fair point. I think they do know what colors. No, they don't I mean, how would you do that? They don't yeah, so I'll be like Oh, man. Yeah, you're like sitting next to like I'm seeing all these reds also like I don't even know what red Someone brought up another thing that I like blew my mind because I was like, oh, fuck. I never even thought about that So someone was just somebody in the industry. No, yeah

It's so much if you've been deaf from birth. What is your inner monologue sound like? I don't know. I know that rain to remember those rain. Yeah rain ones were big. Yeah. Yeah, good rain I remember the cow on the cow was good. The goat one was good. The chicken one is good That's all good stuff. So if you're blind and you're tripping you just see shapes But how do you know what shapes? I feel them. So you just kind of Yeah, you can figure that out. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah, like if somebody cut out a triangle of like wood You like felt that you just see like you just go through square Slides like a dick

Another one stop I It's like what's that is like a thing about it dude giving them putting a dildo on the end of the walking stick Yeah, people should be gagging blinds. I don't know why you've got more gags on the blinds. Yeah, dude. Nice. Everyone's like laughing They're like, you must be killing it today. Yeah, just having a good day We should do that in high school people. It should be funny For sure. They should I'm serious all the time, dude. I'm sick of them being so serious. They just have fun put on crazy glasses put on funny glasses like

1999 Like Raucho Marshall. Yeah, let's have fun, dude. Yeah, I'm just jacking them blind. Just like a maniac. Yeah. Oh, yeah And then just walk around That'd be tight. Yeah, I'm always surprised. They're pretty adept when they're walking around like getting around town I'm always dude. I see blind people in new york. I'm like, what are you doing here? Yeah, you're gonna get a fucking drill. Yeah, that'd be terrifying. True. It's scary walking to new york With eyes. Yeah You know, there's shit flying everywhere. It stinks. I don't know. They fucking matrix out

Yeah, you can think they can feel it. They just know I bet they're hanging on dude. I bet they're like, we've got to be close to sight technology Oh, yeah Definitely I've always said too if I was ever like a really bad accident and they were like you're no one would preserve you No, we would kill you. I would say if you break a leg, I'm putting you down I'm saying is If you I've said like if I get really fucked up and they're like, oh, he's on life support Be like donate me to any experimental science you have

Like just if they're like even like, oh, we're experimenting with taking somebody's head off and putting it on a robot body Yeah, I can do it now. Oh, you know what? I saw this there was a instagram post. I think it's zulu fox or something That's what it's called. But it's uh, I was it was like a jet plane where the air force was working on Uh ejecting people. Yeah, and the planes were going too fast. So it was tough to figure out how to get the Thing to work. So they were like testing it out on bears Yes, they're just flying it up and hitting eject on bears. They give him parachutes Yeah, most of them survived a couple died a couple of boys. How sick would have seen a bear just Think about the bear. He's like i'm inverted

Just sitting in a chair. It's not bear at all. He's like, what the fuck is that like flying and all of a sudden it's like Some pilots just died The roof didn't open. Yeah But then there was what was funny about it was in the paragraph on the instagram post It was like they were taking guys out of uh, like dudes that were unemployed and were like signing up for it Oh, yeah, they're like test the oh test test the ejection. That would be sick with bears Like some drunk guy just flying dude I had I had heard in the beginning of like, uh, I guess it was in russia

It wasn't america but in russia when they were testing state They were like using like borderline invalids to go up in the rockets to like hey, we're gonna use monkeys We're gonna use people because yeah, we can't design it for like the people going up the rockets are going to be the size of chimps True. Yeah, we got to use people. So they were just like, hey, you want to make some extra rubes And they would just get but they were should be like, oh Watch them off stonewash denim. They would also there was also a couple that they would tell Apparently and again, I don't know. It's like an urban legend because they're still orbiting the planet Why do the retards?

Dude, they would tell them like look you're gonna go up there. You probably will not uss uss ours The ours for It's finally reached, uh, 95 degrees in this room. Oh, yeah, it's breaking up Yeah, we'll take a break. What are we at hour and 12? All right, great. Now, please join us on the patreon. Yeah, man. Thank you