Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 366 - He's Back

Episode Date: October 8, 2021

After a long journey across our great nation. By the grace of god, he hath returned. Rejoice. LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod  

lot right on this dude this is a big fucking reunion when we go where we go when start start we're good we're in hey how you doing bro good man it's good to see you yeah man this is serpentine I am in crystals now shit dude that was my big bit it's done it's good that's done dude it didn't work the first time the reunion is here the reunion is upon us and we keep trying to work but these goddamn hipsters we fucking hired to help us do you have fun doing the job that you have yep all right so chillin dude phones off Matt how the fuck are you what's been going on dude what have you

been up to in the last month I have not seen you dude I know it's weird the longest time we've gone without seeing each other in probably five years yeah it's fucking bizarre what the hell's going on dude I've been doing nothing but deep spiritual research as you have been as well that's how you're that's all you get it you got tapped basically dude someone tapped you a woman you said it costed you no she was just a voodoo woman from Louisiana that came to my show really and she said do you feel like God is sending you on a mission what did you say to that I said I was we were taking a picture and I was like that's

how I responded and then she gave me this and I was like oh nice thanks and I was like this will be funny to bring to the podcast to show Matt that I'm on crystals I think it's totally normal that I'm on crystal something funny you know this is nice to rub sure and I am getting worried that I maybe do have some type of I don't know it's nice it's nice Robin it is nice to rub yeah yeah there are benefits of rubbing rocks yeah we're fucking yeah we're you know we're all just energy crystals choose to be crystals by the way I don't know if you know that this this decided to be a crystal it's a mineral but not all

minerals take their crystalline form and the only thing scientists can't figure out why some minerals end up becoming a crystal so self-organized so the answer we've come up with is they must have decided that because we don't know it yeah exactly hmm there's the way they shape it's that there's there seems to be some sort of self-organization so yeah dude crystals are you know no joke dude I think this is a fucking joke what no dude Chris no I'm not gonna let this thing go I mean I wouldn't you know I wouldn't I wouldn't put all your you know eggs in that basket but they're definitely I hope this thing takes

control and organizes my life it's what if it was like the mask I'm somebody had it if you start smoking dude someone has to stop you if I start smoking the government's gonna have to shut this down true they're gonna have to stop me what happened in your life in the last month how do you are you mentally preparing for your big day I'm just walking right into it man that's coming up it's coming up in like two weeks I've spent I prepared for it by telling myself I have plenty of time and now the time's upon me so we should have you guys this is a mistake television and Google this is a mistake we could have

we can't afford this what mentally we cannot afford this as soon as I was like you're excited for your big day go to Google's marriage and now there's just marriage well I will say I am I am I might I've been having reservations about marriage interrupting but no marriage is nothing there's man yeah bottom right I've been a big day well the thing is dude I'm kind of fucking um I don't want to I'm trying to figure out how I can have this marriage but not like disrespect black love you know what I mean yes it's like it's important black love it's important you know the whole idea of sticking with your own kind yes

only for you know not for white people at all white people not white white loves abominable but I don't want to disrupt black I don't want to ruin like a black love I'm gonna come up with a good black love story yeah that's why you know I don't know what I'm gonna do I better not disrupt black love I might choppy thunders what I'm trying to tell you if you walk down the aisle yeah if you walk down the aisle black love dude I just want to hashtag black love dude and stop with the Google is that what you've been doing if you've been instructed cartonies we Google no he's been googling just the most random topic

the whole chaner was talking about sex and the whole that he was playing unbeknownst to Shaynor kissed by a rose in the background oh that's funny that's shana's talking about like eating but holes and stuff of course Shane is so cool and horny yeah nothing more than I love just a guy who's good at sex and his horny yeah man tell you that's that's a do you take this or I do slip one of those in for me would you during one of I do the rest of them say it normal I do I'll try to remember that am I giving a speech of this thing yeah can I share it with yeah you guys can go back and

forth love is kind you guys can be like Styles P and JD kiss dude just go bar for bar yeah or what I might do I don't I might have the I might have the nerve to do a full of traffic thunder but what I might do is just steal Valor I'll just put like a military uniform on second best bro I'm fucking troop dude if I stole Valor fucking for me just go got very expensive well done blackface and then you like very well done like like Robert down and millen and steal I might steal Valor that's the whole groom party if I can't get to men's warehouse in time when I get back I'll just buy a military uniform every time dude slip into

the old you still have the old jeans and tea should I just go Louie everybody else in a suit dude if you showed up in like a military uniform I definitely still have you still have your stuff definitely my mom definitely kept that toss it on some type of weird shame yeah toss it on yeah you should wear that exclusively my mom keeps that my mom keeps that stuff like a you know when people's like kids die and they don't touch the room my mom does like all my old West Point stuff like he could have been an officer I mean bro put on the gear what happens if you were a troop Goggins went you could probably get

re-enlisted or just I was thinking about it or just wear it and show up to the Pentagon in the parking lot and just be like hey guys I'm back I'm back I'm back check the records I'm signing back up what do we have going on god damn it I'm in you guys asked for me I'm back now what do you want can you're allowed to wear it can you wear that garb yeah I could technically technically it just go to any any yes technically I was honorably discharged yeah I swore in and was honorably discharged what the hell technically I could wear could you please decorate that uniform yeah can you please be decorated and it's gonna be at a

place like a military place although like it but yeah they'll respect that yeah oh yeah hmm you should I'm telling you man maybe I'm going full I'm gonna be in a five-star general outfit I'm gonna look like the dude from what the fuck Twin Peaks I'll look like the general from Twin Peaks dude I'm gonna be lightning fast that's that's a dark shock a little rusty that's dark shock we're a little rusty so that's my plan dude in order I don't want to you know are you gonna cry I was thinking about dude I'm writing my own vows so I was reading them today in the last fucking cry if you are the last last little bit

gets me choked off dude really yeah the priest about your sweet baby Maya not it's not her day dude good it's not her day I don't want her anywhere on the premises it's not her day dude that's good so yeah no she'll be you know we'll probably just leave her she's old enough now we can just she can handle things I do that thought about that man I was we're in a hotel weeks ago like we went to the Chicago last week surprise fucking shower bro hmm dude that was a nightmare that is a nightmare just that's the ultimate like when are we doing and it's like we have lunch she's like lunch reservations I didn't think it

through to so I'm like dress wear something nice and I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt she's I was like I they have my clothes at the restaurant she's like what oh man I was like I dude just relax and then her cousins like yeah actually like stall for another half an hour I'm like I can't dude you cannot I can't stall for no she hit me with just being like I don't even want to get what is this and I'm like sick why would you take me to a nice lunch I love that even before the ceremony of your wedding you're still like if anyone's like what was she doing I told her you had she has an ally and you in mind she goes I hate

the way you impersonate me it's like dude it's wildly disrespectful although I was just doing my girlfriend like she was genuinely sleepwalking she was genuinely sleepwalking god damn it that's how it sounds to me dude I do it all the time that's what it is that's what it is we do the blow-by-blow if I'm like we get into the territory of like I'm like yeah but then you were like I said and I would the worst is when they go no I was like joking with you and it's like yeah you can't joke you it's not your strong suit you don't joke funny jokes they take they can't get up they're the days dude they're they're on autopilot they're

not there the babes on autopilot they're they're all wearing Calvin and Hobbs glasses before the morning it's just ping-pong balls here they're fucking yeah they're drones and they're mad they're so mean all the time it's crazy my girl and I have been together long enough that she's starting to be able to be mean for no reason yeah man like for no reason you know you talk about how hot young girls are all the time I'm like don't listen to my podcast like are you a fucking pedophile is it the young babies dude I'm not allowed to talk about you start you start to don't don't don't don't you start to appreciate don't

Google young after a while you start to appreciate their little fermentation periods yeah you'll start I'm telling you with enough time and patience you'll start to know like you'll be having a discussion and this is the will start to do a thing where they'll go maybe I guess dudes this too but it's like you're bringing up a very valid point and then they start talking louder and faster yeah and you know I've been I used to get me and I would talk louder and faster now I stop and just go if you're getting angry we can pause hmm like do you let's wait till we're all you know that would drive me up a fucking wall too what you

can you and me we're fighting and you're like do you want to talk about this when you've calmed down I don't I don't hear that I just go I'll fucking cry I'll cry right now I don't I don't hit that necessarily and I I'll get if I get nervous if I'm scared show me who you are you went samurai on that kid immediately true I mean oh yeah dude just right away where's your honor yeah your mask on show me who you are yeah dude that would have been beheaded back in the day in Japan that was just yeah right oh you were just caught you were like you would fume and then go what am I even I would I even talk to these guys

that was all that you'd be like is this guy from a good family or can I cut his head off fuck I can cut this guy's head off yes dude I was reading about the a new people in Japan a news hold on hold on before we get to the a news what was the thing we were just talking about cuz I liked it oh the ladies ladies spaz and how you can diffuse by it's diffusing a bot you cannot you can't use the hurt locker you start to appreciate that's her that's my girl every night she walks she sleepwalks she sleepwalks and sometimes we sleep naked well I always do but occasionally she does so I'll wake up in the middle

of the night she'll be standing naked in the room in the dark I'm like what the fuck are you doing she's a demon and she's long hair don't care too she's scary what do you say someone's got to get that girl get a harmonica yeah I said somebody ought to get her a harmonica so you're yeah you're bad you're dealing with nocturnal I'm dealing with an absolute nocturnal absolutely so you're then she wakes up I'm sorry that's just torn up another nocturnal it's not only mission she's a she's emitting nocturnally she's emitting rage nocturnally she you guys might have to go out together in the woods and scream just go

out in the woods and just I screamed you should just screamed into a pillow no they lost a Cincinnati I've never been more angry dude I was so fucking mad in a hotel remember we heard the guy having sex yeah people probably walk by heard you that was me human dude no name Cincinnati they stunk there's a worst game I've seen it a long time who else they lose didn't know the Eagles just cowboys stank I was at the Cowboys I was at the game I went to Dallas Cowboys human at the Cowboys Stadium just around I was nice yeah the Dallas Cowboys have what we have here which is like the Eagles fans they have I mean

they have like dickheads yeah and not to be racist they tend to be black dudes that are dickheads so those two made those two groups never meet dude the cowboy fan from Philly and the Eagles fan holy shit they united they there was a dude so right away the Cowboys drove down the field and scored then the next possession the Cowboys got made a stop get the ball back at their own one yard line fumbled in the end zone and the Eagles scored a touchdown and there was a dude a couple rows in front of us this black dude just stand it up Eagles Jersey fuck all you guys fuck you like screaming in people's faces and then the

Eagles proceeded to get fucking destroyed this guy did that was the one touchdown they scored and it was like in the first minute it was great it's like a one-yard line fumble but yeah it was fun to watch yeah I like those Texas people really I didn't like it it's a very very cool nice stadium but they're all like Texas they were fucking cowboy hats although I have been wearing a cowboy hat I seen it it's powerful it feels really good feels very good feel you start putting on a cowboy hat and you look at Mexico and you're like what are they doing in my state dude yeah the I seen you in that cow you look

good in that cowboy I look like that click that it's exactly what I looked like yeah cowboy pants are tight you were those wranglers no I are fucking skin tight I'm you know according my mom okay because I wear stretchy jeans you wear stretchy jeans yeah we're stretchy jeans dude I haven't seen that I mean you don't can't tell but yeah these jeans are all strut as soon as I found out that was an option oh first of all I had to get talked out of wearing the fake sweatpants jeans that's awesome that was my move and then it was like now you talk to that Brittany was like you can tell I was like I was coming to her like

dude I can wear him to dinner she's like no they're obviously sweatpants and I was like fuck that's funny that's exactly what I looked like it was like the outfit to you look fucking good at them thank yeah I feel out of cowboy hat I got a big dumb fat head perfect for a cowboy stay true right I should have brought it I was thinking about bringing it I should have worn it for the good I was doing all types of bits you and Calvin teen rock I cowboy hat you're probably ready for the problem I don't fuck you you can be my opener I have a problem I don't have to stick to props instead of that dude can I keep

going or maybe I'll bottle it up that's all I'm gonna stop I'm gonna phone it is pretty good stuff fuck yeah I'm retarded and rubbing this rock and my autism is in bloom dude it's a whole time I've been accused of everyone else being autistic I will when you watch a nerdy since Nati game and scream into a pillow and then you're quiet the rest of the day something's wrong I will say I will say the when I was watching your podcast so I could steal your jokes and use them here I that the thing on when you did when you talked about dogs and cats that I was like that's pretty fucking

good bit funny thank you very funny thank you that was very fun I'm trying to figure out how to use that in an instant I'm gonna steal that and use it tough I did it last night the seller it's tough to get into that yeah you need to build up to that I literally just have to say listen this is gonna sound bad which is funny it's not which is fun yeah but that can't be how every joke I do starts yeah which is how they are the new all the new stuff I've been doing which that was I was pumped for in Louisiana that was the first weekend I did since the special came out and I was like I gotta do new yeah and I did I did like 45 new

just it was great but it's but because it's new every joke requires like little disclaimer this is new and it's not good yeah people down syndrome I like dogs try to explain well yeah you gotta put it in context but I was on a podcast look I was on a podcast it's a good comparison and you're talking about in terms of like the loyalty fun excitement mean ability yes versus the fucking the autistic cat yeah very autistic cat where it's like I love it does it love me I think it loves me it'll ignore you for like it'll just walk out of the room while you're talking to it doesn't listen but get up here it's just are you mad but

yeah dude the yeah answer your question bro I've been up to fucking nothing bro just been doing the pod ever even beating off have you been looking at pornography no man I did I've been very very sparingly and it's only if like why did you say no yeah because I've been doing it too much and I was trying a lot of myself you're cutting oh you have not been beating off I'll tell you what are you have been I have been too frequently beaten off rules one a day yeah one day two a day every once in a while that's bad I'm like one week bro if that one week I'm 50% if I pull up a phone and pull up porn I would happens me a

lot now I pulled up I scroll the options ago you know what never mind I don't want this you know it's nice my lady oil butts my lady was with me for most of that trip so I was not whacking off and then as soon as I got back to New York I was like I'm so excited to whack off yeah I got the beat off I got the whack off yeah that's pretty nice whacking off for the first time in a month is great well I mean I have a I was in for that you know just a no-pressure E-jack usually when you're having sex there's some level of like this is going well for her yeah I'll back you up on that no I was you get to just lay back and be like

I hope my roommates don't hear that's my only concern of you jerking off yeah you guys all know each other pretty well by now I was at that point it wouldn't matter no I was describing my sex life on the page with a La Mer and bees are shakers I'd like to hear more about it it's just hand jobs bro it's just and I and I work in wild I work hard no it's a good thing I work hard I work it's the best I work hard I stay focused and then I just you know every like couple weeks I just and I do like dude I just save it all up and just catch like an epic like eighth grade level hand job hmm it's pretty sick it's like usually on a

Saturday Saturday morning I do hear you on this and I actually do like the idea to coconut oil white dude she get I every time she I don't even bring it up she goes get the coconut oil she grabs me she gauges she goes oh look at that first of all it's annoying she'll do this thing where I don't use that Kirkland crap dude I use Dr. Bronner's there it is the is that refined I do under fine too brown label but the but the but yeah dude that's that's been the that's been my preferred mode of sex there it is that's the fucking dark label bro what the hell so she just scoops it I scoop I scoop you only I know

enough I know how much you use girls always underestimate the light are you see even with the lotion lotion is bullshit it dissipates in like fire up that I'll tell you what about that Dr. Bronner's bro that stuff your dick will be greasy for a while not Vaseline level Vaseline's too much yeah Vaseline's almost that's like that's issues butter butter would be great I bet some ghee yeah some ghee I don't know what that is clarified but it's when you boil butter and skim the shit off the top and turns it would be wild bro butter would be nice man you type in ghee as a masturbatory lube or butter as a masturbatory I mean

everybody's whacked off with butter I bet I never had I never have either but I mean it must be it must be up there because I'll get butter on my hand and be like yeah dude butter would be sometimes I touch a mango sometimes I touch a mango think about rubber band a couple of those to get like the inside of a mango oh boy you should definitely not what the heck ew which oh I'm talking about for sex yeah well you don't want to shove dairy up a lady's pussy why they do it all the time with yogurt yeah but what they do that every every the last bite of yogurt women put in their vagina really

get some bulgaris yeah some elbow garras dude that makes perfect sense yeah yeah the vaginas are disgusting and they they they can fall apart at any moment yeah if they're just constantly they go down they go down and there's I don't know how they work at all there's problems they go down there's a mold there's a lot of problems that can pop up on them it's not everyone thinks dongs dongs you can ignore any problem you can just let it ride oh yeah say whatever this is is going away and I'm not gonna tell any of my sexual partners about it now you grit your teeth a little bit of burn you're like I got to drink more water

they're gonna catch whatever this is yeah cuz I'm not tell I don't think dudes transmit sexually transmitted diseases I think only women transmit I don't think you're that far off I think only women transmit yeah dudes really they can only get them from women and then people report using yogurt in the vagina as a lubricant or treatment for yeast infections what look at that you know something like this I was just kidding bro I didn't think they actually did that you've never been a part of a lady being like and one for you no for me I didn't know that I also I had a theory that women can get yeast infections from

eating too much sugar I'm sure that's the case look at those flashlight how to clean your flesh like a real pro hell yeah dude are these whoa whoa mouth flesh like and it's all sweaty and shit just so like a perspiring fucking nose oh my god dude get rid of this this is fucking what the hell dude you coconut oil is a loot bro come on man so you get whacked off with coconut every couple weeks yeah fuck I save it up every now and again I'll you know again like you said sometimes sometimes the sniz just goes down for me you know things happen to it sniz does fall apart it goes down once a month well not just the period

but there's always like the period and then like I'm about to get my period the things are fucking mess yeah I just had my period it's like something else is wrong yeah there's you know there's there's things that can disgusting dude women fucking suck edit that out please yeah yeah dude yeah but yes I've been doing it like once uh I don't I do it on a needs basis like I don't I try not to do it just because I want to but like if I you mean sex no masturbation well sex even to you I don't you try not to give into your needs I only do it if I like feel as if like I have like I there's a feeling I get when I have too much

coming me and I do it purely is like let me just get this out of me unless I'm making a child that's the only time I do sex enjoy and you're making a child I'm making a child I'll fully let my I'll let my guard down enjoy sex mm other than that it's pure maintenance I resent the fact that I have to do it at all to be honest nice it's annoying you don't ever do it out of like like personal insecurity and you want to prove yourself worth by having sex with someone beyond that it's almost that was I have sex well that was exclusively my yeah that was the nature I am the man that was the nature of my sex life forever yeah

of course you don't only hook up with girls so you can tell your friends you did it that's all I just got pussy for my boys my whole life my whole life that's all I wanted if it weren't for my boys I would have I'd be a sexual chilling yeah I'd be a sexual it wasn't for the pressure of my boys to constantly get pussy yeah and then tell somebody else would be like yo I did he fucked this girl fuck why am I not sure that's something nobody does anymore that yes fired up to be fucking today fuck I was a young man's game city fucking a young man's game I think so I think I did he fuck like a month ago it was sick yeah really yeah

theater so cool what type of a lube was in there just like regular like Lou she used Lou to Titty fuck you yeah it's mark bro what are you doing with Lou what's the hell Titty fucking sure I should have I know now so you did he fucked I Titty fuck to completion not to completion no that's no that's it's like that seems like way too like way too hard that'll be a long thing yeah no it's a long time off too much dude my dick touches tits I'm coming immediately I guess so so you did he fucked I did he fucked for a little bit yeah yeah did you like were you laying down no I was on top she was on her back

I was a big thing here do you hold the nipples when you did he fuck yeah dude you have to he don't wait well no like you hold the nipples like you got it like under under grab you know like yeah you gotta push them up yeah push them up you gotta push them up and then you go yeah absolutely what were you saying while you're did you say anything or is this no nothing I was just breathing heavily yeah you can't talk during sex talking I think the only time I talked or sex is if I'm titty fucking really weren't titty fucking fucking fucking titties fucking look at you fucking titties can't remember last time I fucked me some

titties and then I named the geography and I go man shot down pussy so good you always name the geography of the girl where the girls pussies from man I never had no pussy like no I was a no pussy like no Tallahassee pussy dude you got it I that stuck I watch this one point one time there's this guy which is fucking he's like man I'm used to this h-town pussy this is shot down pussy it was talked about the geography the pussy the entire time it was so sick shot down some good pussy dude yeah please include that in your vows oh for dude you're shot down pussy from the day we met I knew your shot down pussy was

the best pussy you gotta call it call I'm telling you next time call it the geography next time I have sex with my girlfriend I'm gonna be in Chicago tomorrow with my girlfriend for real I actually am I'm gonna fuck her I'm so mad up in the pocket I'm gonna have shot down pussy you're gonna have some tomorrow headed my way where are you gonna eat where am I gonna eat bro go to burger go to burger bar dude burger bar burger bar burger bar Chicago has I do I pig out every time I'm there yeah I everywhere I go everyone's like we go to the bus around my guy whatever I go there dude and I fucking pig dude

burger bar rules it's just a bar that makes sick burgers so well that's the problem with traveling which I've been doing everybody constantly is like dude you gotta go eat here yeah then you go feast yeah like I was an awesome I ate barbecue for fucking 12 days Jesus dude then I was in LA LA was nice I didn't I didn't booze too hard there yeah nice LA was a little more subdued LA has the healthy foods you can I was a man how she feels but it's very like it's not a party town LA is not like New York New York is 4 a.m. 5 a.m. LA everything I was only in LA for one day and I didn't like it the LA fitness there and

it was just a bunch of male models on fucking testosterone screaming at each other playing basketball just about male models on testosterone screaming at each other man how long it was this dude this was a store my first marriage yeah this was probably like seven years ago since Instagram and tiktok and everybody's internet famous now it's wild this is like nine years ago dude I was in LA fitness with like what's that show about the bartenders Vanderbilt it was like Vanderbilt Vanderpump I was like the cast of Vanderpump rules dude fucking just getting screamed at on a basketball court by Jax set the pic dude

what the fuck they'd miss a shot fuck yeah it is an uncomfortable place that's it that's that's literally everyone in LA fitness when I was there it looks like the Vanderpump rules cast it's fucking crazy dude they don't have any fucking shat down pussy that's not that shat down pussy although there's a lot of transplants in LA so maybe it might be some shat down pussy I'm sure there's a lot of shat down pussy in LA that's some fucking England pussy right there really that's a fucking great lady in the front yeah that's great Britain pussy bro that's not good but that's GB pussy that guy that guy to the left I believe

got cocked by Jax sorry brother Jax is the ultimate on Vanderpump rules really dude Jax fuck dude there he is bro he's just a good poll dude they filmed him for a year he was a compulsive liar is this is this a reality show it was a reality show that was hot during my first marriage and I used to watch it on Saturday mornings in bed with my my first there you go bro you should I actually almost grab one on the way out the door yeah dude Jax would he would just it was crazy he was on TV and they were just like timestamp this film him yeah the hat puts hat on that for sure yeah edit this out all right so the

reference there is every LA podcast I do it's very funny oh just constantly like everybody they'll say something like hold on edit that part go back to the podcast yeah that's crazy which is great it's great it makes her it helps my anxiety yeah when I did Burt's the next day I had to text him like get rid of that please get rid of it I mean we drank we drank a lot it got rowdy what happened you scrapped the whole thing or you know it and it actually ended up looking in there coming out pretty well that was one I guess I was like this one's gonna be brutal really came out great so it did how do you hide the

cut he's good is it the camera angle thing too because it's like angle because they switch camera angles and it's just yeah or they all have ad reads they do ad reads post yeah so they can just insert ad reads right now we're not doing that unless it's worth hundreds of dust we're selling out I apologize I have to sell out we'd have fun but yeah it is funny it's funny to like dark chocolate because they they'll say wild things dude all the boys say something wild and then they're just like after they're like cut that out just and you're sitting there like damn I didn't know you got down like this they say something

why don't you just like oh shit you should have brought your own camera and just release the whole thing yeah true I considered just in case one of them tried to trap me true but no I because the anxiety after a podcast I'm always like why the fuck would I try to say that I think that was funny and nine times out 10 it's totally fine yeah nothing nobody ever gets upset or anything bad happens but so we you're telling me we got some we got some thinking to do you saw you saw the real deal yeah we're never we're never gonna be able to do that we will we're never gonna be able to do that this is good

this is what we always wanted this this studio is perfect the second we start dressing it up and making it look professional that defeated the perfect we could have had a nice you told me this this looks fucking insane this is bad and that's what the goal was we got to switch it up you want to get a nice dude no not that I'm saying like we were mandated by our fucking landlord we got to get rid of this table and we're gonna have couch we're gonna have to let love seats they're putting a fucking wash and dry in a producer kit closet oh god damn it took our producer closet it's got a water hookup fuck so we'll have

producers there we're have to sit on that yeah we can just change we can just get a fucking studio I guess true aware though Philly I guess why not I mean we can't I don't care yeah it'll be easy edit this out yeah cut this what are these hot banner pumps so dude yes you're saying you're in LA it's not a big party time no it's not and I was expecting it to be everyone's kind of the again I was only there for a day but I remember everyone seems very like jaded I was there like I was out to a beautiful restaurant there's person was playing piano I was like this is fantastic yeah everyone there was like really what the

fuck did we got the piano man rock and I'm tipping the piano man obviously I'm fucking hitting them with five maybe a 10 I'm drinking wine I'm eating steak that's what I did I'm exactly trying some wine I ate some steak that's how you do it and then I yeah I went to this one restaurant that's pretty nice I forget what's called bad boa bad whatever French laundry I'm not sure we had the French laundry with the governor Gavin Newsom no I wasn't there that cock suck it there's nothing more than critical yeah this is where I was it was very nice and it did oh sweet Tim Dylan took me here which was very nice oh and Tim's

famous which is funny to watch that's all it was it was tiktok kids dude what the fuck that's what I was gonna say why it's the eat that's all I was gonna say I had no idea this article existed every single person in there was a group of tiktok famous people what the fuck I was waiting for the baby girls to get in there so I could put my hands on him yeah I was gonna say I was a serious question would you fucking do like that just like yeah I don't know dude remember we talked about this like two years ago all these dudes like box true you would think you could you'd see one of these sweet boys out and you'd be like what's

up pussy and then you get tagged up by one with like a six-piece combo after they knock you out I don't know dude I think if you brought them the thunder they'd fucking freeze up I do think if you did like a full-on cry spell I rage yeah I rage run towards them in a fucking nice restaurant I can scream it like yeah they would I think they'd freeze up dude because again a boxer you know they're ready they're like they need to keep the distance if you just bumrush them while they're eating and fuck them they I don't think they'd be able to punch you off it was funny we were sitting next to it was just a

clearly big fat Jewish agent yeah and then six kids from a content house and I was just listening to that like it was unbelievable what the fuck talking about content house stuff so I wonder if I can find no I looked for them I couldn't find the boys there they are look at these kids we suck so they are society fucking no this is what the real world did to people dude people thought there'd be no repercussions reality TV now this is again this is a viable path in life for people yeah to just move in a house and just film yourself and sell like tied this is dude this is super normal stimuli me well I

guess what we're doing is pretty fucking ridiculous this is ridiculous true but again it's like we get to go home like you know yeah you still straddle the line of having a normal life people have ditched that all together and their life has become only like internet yeah it's pretty it's pretty wild I mean that might have been them dude what's this house dude I couldn't miss White House I know those boys out of recognize those rent free in a Bel Air mansion yeah you have to meet your content but at least like boy bands used to be able to you know steal black music and dance what are these guys don't they don't do anything

they just dance they have abs and they dance what's Michael Gruden doing okay well figure it out before you Google it make us fucking look at it right I like this boy 3400 followers that guy damn oh it's John Gruden son oh shit dude baller he saw he saw he has that same fucking tense look yeah you see did you get to see Bill Belichick son no what happened fire mop dude you're gonna be a fan of this dude what do you see this boys this guy's son what I think he coaches defense or special teams oh my god he's a fucking beast does you think that's like a thing coaches are conscious I'm an idiot they were just

showing him a lot because he's a son and he makes he has a mullet and makes fucking wild faces I mean damn dude that's football bro that's what I'm talking about damn fuck did he play ball I bet he played I bet he played D3 if I had to guess dude dude is that a hilarious it's good dude we've morphed into a bad podcast we've officially ascended into making enough money to be a horrible podcast that's something I've been trying to do though of um I've been trying to stoke ire for like cowboys when I found out the Eagles lost I tried to get myself into a state of like I'd never cared fuck when you're there

it's actually like fuck these people well it's weird it is weird going to a nice stadium I went to the Baltimore Ravens one time M&T Bank it's not that's not nice what M&T M&T Bank I think it was nice dude compared I was this is back I think when it was new it was pretty nice yeah there was like people calmly sitting watching the game oh that's what you meant I thought you meant like a stadium because I was cowboy stadium is like it's if you fucking crazy really it's crazy you wouldn't believe it yeah if I saw people laughing at you know I don't know I don't know how I don't like when people

were laughing at my birds I don't know my birds are down there having a bad time and all these dumb fucking Texas Hicks yeah that's true well we're a young fucking team dude young team you're a young team you know so what can you expect dude we're on the road we're a young team you know it's football having the same problems basketball is having with people refusing unwisely to get the vaccine yeah there's a couple players that are outspoken really basketball has had a lot yeah Cam Newton I think was one of them and that's right he got kind of released by the Patriots and that was partly I really do to it really yeah

there was a bunch of the I like that the Atlantic what most NFL players understand that Cam Newton doesn't thank you the Atlantic for trashing a guy's beliefs dude well the Atlantic did I get the Atlantic newsletter to my email dude so they're now they're saying and you know correct me if I'm wrong but they're like here's things like moving forward here's what we need to learn about the you know like going forward with like the coronavirus we need to stop relying on the vaccine to stop spreading transmission what who wrote this who wrote this shit Maxim Maxim dude go away and die dude how dare you talk shit yeah

talking about when Wentz loves God he loves Jesus so he doesn't like the religious exemption bro yeah man and the trash a man whose own bones betray him at the slightest feathery touch whoa okay fucking reporter yeah talking about an NFL quarterback that gets hurt yeah to tour his ACL diving for a touchdown Adam Green let me see this fucking little yeah let's pull this fucking pussy face first man yeah oh god hope you know thank you what the fuck well it could be any of these guys they're all pussies usually if you click their Twitter right in the thing Gardini if you go to the article click their Twitter it'll pop

there you go click that click that man's a good for him he fucking hides that's not now it's maximum law 360 he would never talk shit on he knows better dude that's you can sue an injury prone NFL quarterback because he's down there is that him down there that looks like a little some little motherfucker though right that kind of shit I you know I should he does look like that type of ah there he is you can see the dorky bullshit bro I'd go there you talk about when I give him the pigskin let me rush dude let's see let's go in the boring dude let's go in the bull ring sick me let's go on the board he's got

good memes dude if me and him did the boy did you do in high school yeah dude what do you think I do this guy does post gifts what's he a boomer I'm an LA podcast right now today's shit is sponsored by these bars I get them at rest stops dark chocolate dude the um pure dark chocolate I feel like my body temperature has risen a degree why dude I get all the dark chocolate I'm like Montezuma you are Montezuma used to drink 30 goblets of dark chocolate a day what yeah dude what happened to him he invited some guys into his house they fucking kicked his ass oh dude the you reminded me of the anus dude oh yeah

yeah sorry we were talking about the Japanese yeah do you heading dude so I'm reading I'm still reading my Joseph Campbell mythology book nice so now he's I'm almost done prehistory now next thing I'm I think I'm going into his Asian like they call it Asian but it's Indian and all that stuff it's a bullshit but it's crap that is absolutely crap but dude towards I'm getting towards the end of it and they talk about the anus and they were like they were like like white kind of they're like these indigenous kind of like honky they're not total honkeys it's a type in a new Japan just to an you and

it'll auto correct your ignorance yeah it's yes I there's an eye in there but yeah dude the they're like it's they were they're like visibly but were mixed with like kind of like Siberian Russian dudes and they live in Japan they're like Japan's kind of Uighurs but they're like hunter-gatherers and I don't think they get along very well the Japanese people I think there's a little bit of beef a lot of this sounded pretty speculative that entire description well I was googling them to see what they looked like and they were saying basically like yeah dude there's a lot of yeah Russian regions was yeah so

like some Ruskies that have been kicking around Japan and one of the things there's one of their look at that dude one of their things they were saying they a guy looks pretty Japanese that guy up there yeah I don't know dude it's not I mean maybe the garb don't be fooled by the Emperor's beer dude they're all the last samurai it's a nation of last samurai's just I would be yeah you know you that's if we got nuked and everybody started making fucking video games and cartoons I'd be like no dude we had swords and shit well they don't have to be doing this dude one of their like customs so they believe they believe

everything around them is a god like every single thing like rocks everything like there's like mountains whatever so they're wrong well that's your fucking you know colonists approach but they have bear dude they worship bears so they're wrong this is what they do but here's what they do which is fucked up so when they find a baby bear out in the wild this is like if they just happen upon them this is like a fat this like turns the whole this like turns the whole party up so they go out there they find a baby cub they bring it back and the women all nurse it they feed it breast milk like so they they raise this thing

until the point it becomes what's that pictures do this is a fucking this is what they do so this is part of the like the thing so they raise them they nurse these things to the point where they're big enough to where they play with it like if it can start to hurt you so they take it and lock it in a box and feed it like I think like a like millet and you know fish for like two years they let it get big you know like we do cows here yeah they feed it let it get big and then there it is and then as soon as it gets like of age they sacrifice it because they're like this is a god we're releasing the mountain

god itself in the form of a bear so they just like get these two poles and put its head like here and trap it like dude they like literally four dudes wrestle it and then the expert marksman shoots it in the heart with an arrow and kills it and they cut its head off and make soup out of the bear and keep putting bowls of soup in front of its head like when you go back to the afterlife take all these gifts back and let them know that we treat you so well he's gonna piss when he gets back no they're there in their head they're like this isn't this a nice thing we're doing and the women who nursed it are kind of like

mixed emotions they're like some of them are crying a little bit they are a little sad I'd be sad to see him go and they talk about it especially nowadays I'd be like well there it is dude yeah man they the a news those face the makeup they show that the boys of age yeah those those like yeah they think that's how you know a woman's of age and a new clan well that'd be nice that would help us out I mean they got a couple things figured out save some you know our industry would have been helped I wouldn't want to go to the a new zoo though that would be a tough place to visit but they got the women they got the thing

that dude we should have women who are legal for sure like just a Hitler's tattoo that's what they that's what they said it was in the book they said it's just a bar of ink above all their noses they give women a mustache so you know it's fucking like yeah it's on woman has a tat stash it's fucking on dude good for them those are all good yes they like wrestle a bear they wrestle a two year old bear and it's fucking and the marksman shoots it so it dies instantly at least well that's when they cut its head off and they all chill with its head and then like a their town center they have a ton of like bear head bear skulls

that they like look at and they're like that is cool good for them pretty sick man it is eat bear soup and party until all the when the bears totally eaten the festivals over and they just go back to fucking whatever back to chill back to exactly that squatting sitting on a fucking board they just go back to squatting on plywood until I see another bear it is nuts it is nuts it's just fucking crazy I like what is our our thing is we just we just go to a bar and just get hammered that's a good one and fucking call it puke and ubers and then watch no-name Cincinnati and scream dude see why does my team lose we just

scream I scream into a pillow dude yeah that must a stonk dude it did stink I was pumped for that game I was like this will be a nice day yeah especially when you're out west and the game starts early yeah out west when football starts early in the morning start like 11 a.m. yeah so you took an L at like one in the afternoon L early then I go to this club I do my new material yeah it's not going it well it worked it went very well everybody liked it one guy left waited for me out at the bar what with him and his wife stood out there so I get out this is the early show I walk outside yeah the next show is still in line ready

for the late show they're standing by the bar I'm walking by everybody enjoyed the show so I'm taking pictures doing all that and then when I walk by this guy's I worst fucking show I've ever seen in my life and I thought it was it was so I did so well I thought he was kidding I was like oh thanks man how are you he's like no that was a piece of shit show you're an asshole I was like you're fucking pussy dude and we had to kind of get separated was very weird what the fuck it was crazy and it was in front of everybody getting ready to go into the next show which is pretty funny did you get dressed at the next one I did and I

was actually trying to figure out why why which party was mad at that was the hardest part what do you think he was pissed about I have a joke about Navy Seals and I think that fired him up a little yeah and that which if you you know there's he didn't understand the joke which is annoying it always bothers me I was wanting to know why someone's upset they're like what they think I thought it was being unstable dude he was obviously unstable he's spazzed and waited yeah it's crazy that'll be fun though I've after the show you just got that all the time instead of you like nice show it's nice to have a fight yeah

and then last night I got two different fights what yeah I got in two fight I did three shows two of them I got in fights after on stage both on stage the first show I was at the stand yeah and there were three dudes talking the whole time and I every comedian that got off was like all those guys won't shut the fuck up but nobody said anything so I was like are they black and the girl was like no because I knew that was the only reason every white comic would not say anything or be like kick them out yeah so then I was like are you sure they're black so then I get in there and of course yes yes they're also very fun

that's a very fun one of them was not the one that was yapping the most was not an African-American so she was correct and I wasn't being racist I was making fun of white people for being scared to say anything yeah but uh but dude fighting black hecklers might be the fun I walked in comedy dude I was I was in I was fuming already because I have to do a fucking roast yeah I'm not happy about it so all I was doing I found out I was doing the roast for the next 10 hours I was just saying the meanest things I could think of in my head about all my close friends it's good which is a terrible thing to do and then thinking

about what they're gonna say to me and maybe I'm like what the fuck like I was just mad you should be like guys can't be on a roast no you should tell them like guys like something fun but you mind if I kind of like write your jokes about me yeah like Shane's dick is so big yeah so gets in the way of everything I get on stage and the I was fuming going in there yeah and these three dudes are talking 20 seconds in my set I was like yo shut the fuck up dude shut the fuck up yeah it wasn't like even it wasn't close to like yeah I was that's exactly what I said on stage I was like this is a good way to do stand up because after I was

like yo shut the fuck up he was like you know you want to go outside I was like yeah we can go outside you fucking idiot or we can kick you out right now who threatened to fight you he the dude who was talking about yeah he's I think he might have been Hispanic but he was a bit of a GZ he's still he's still ground on the heck all good but actually yes that's actually exactly what he looked like that's a hot take Zimmerman in court so this kid and it got like heated I was like yeah we can or I can just kick you the fuck out dude shut up yeah and the crowd was like they like clapped because they were annoyed but

then that was the first minute and I had to be like all right so I'm seeing this girl like I had to like go in to stand up but it ended up being good and eventually he laughed which was funny and I was like I need laugh you fucking idiot and then I get off stage and they're like cuz I had to walk by them and they're like yo dude sorry about that our man's actually he's thinking about becoming a stand off course and I was like you will shut the fuck up it shows you fuck it I was like was that fight adrenaline yeah stage which is the worst yeah it's bad energy so I get to the seller and I'm doing a joke and I

start the special Olympics joke and this girl's like no she's sitting me to this chair like right here that close to the stage you should know what's wrong and she it's just it's just loud out there it's not a big deal what is it probably Billy watching something it's not a big deal even if it picks her neck crap off edit this out build damn it I'm not gonna yell I'm not gonna raise my voice I've been fuming already true so I get it after that fight I go to the seller again a fight with a lady who's like no you can't talk about this and you know battled went to war how'd you win I did win the crowd liked it I won

yes it was nice and her boyfriend liked me that was the best part he was he was laughing yes that was it why why do they think that they can do that I'm not sure she was like I have she was like with some of my family I have a family member that was in the special Olympics don't you feel like a dick and I was like not at all yeah I was like did you hear what I said like a yeah I was like are you a fucking retard but it was nice because it was a show where two black dudes came up on well cipher sounds and will silvance I shouldn't describe them that way yeah and cipher's not black but they get at the end you said they come

on and talk with you I don't fucking Puerto Rican or something you know it's all Greek to me that's how that's saying but it was nice because they come up and like talk with you after the set so we all get to that's not allies now I have POC's as my allies and they were like lady you're fucking it it was nice big win that's got two fights last night so something's wrong with me probably no I don't think so I think you do the right thing I've been going around battling yeah you've been on the road for a month I've been right yeah on the road calling a fucking pussy to his face after the show that was crazy

well he that's you was like worst fucking driver I've ever seen my life but normally I just be like alright whatever but I was actually like yo you're a fucking put like pointed you're a fucking crazy how big was he he was big it would have been a problem that would have been a problem but there was also I've been Godzilla vs. Megalodon it would have been bumping everybody out of the fight with two big guys stop stop it would start to have a fucking black eye before my late show true on stage like I like it more than the last crowd like no reveal what I'm sick dude yeah you're gonna keep your back to the

audience and then like turn around with a bloody bloody face the last crowd didn't like to show no it's funny to go on stage like I'm trying to figure out what that guy was mad at so yeah let's let's hear where you have any of you guys hate this tell me where you think somebody could have been so angry that they tried to fight me yeah it was funny that's actually within the first joke people like that's it that was probably it I was like yeah that's right yeah that's fun we had a good time speaking up so damn fun dude I love it it is fun speaking of stand-up kind of like those types of scenes in the drama around it I

started Sam Towns book oh it's a phenomenal book right I told I there's it's it's insane I was I did the audio book I was like it doesn't it was like you know writer stuff dude the pros so it's unbelievable it's so good I was like bro I gotta I have to my eyes have to see this yeah I got to do it was I was like this it was the audio form was flying by me and I was like I got to see that my eyes have to see that on the page yeah order the hard copy bro dude I'm telling you he'd be so pumped to know you're I told him it oh good I told him I messed him I said bro what the fuck dude yeah Sam's awesome like really really

good I mean the story is shockingly good the stories yeah the story is fantastic but it's like I'm listening to little turns of phrases and I'm going that's a fucking day gum the boy can write that then a boy can write dude I'm telling you pause the audio book and say I'm an audio I'm like I can listen anything I was like my eyes have to grace these on the paper dude hmm I was like this is good what a nice thing yeah I was blown away I was in a Chicago hotel room and read my infant next to my baby next to me my babe I'm all dude that's the best dude at the end of the day really finally fucking plug it into some

audio yeah I do like it I'm still I do that with blood lance every night I started I started blood lance it's not fun is it I get like I'm waiting to get into like the real specifics of it yeah hit me with the fucking oh the numbers up Russia yeah it just puts me to sleep you have to plow through that and it does put me to sleep you got plow through that where they're like in Kazakhstan on you know April of 1938 they give you a little taste though I got a little taste there's some taste yes yes yeah you get laid in there it's a carnage and it is no good it's pretty horrendous dude you gotta look up what

those boys were doing to Belarus were they up to no good just bad Belarus is like a what is that a country yeah it's it's Belarus it's kind of Belarusian look like Polak Russian right yeah I thought about that how the Polaks and the Belarusians got their fucking shit rocked yeah dude was it Poland's kind of like Ukraine in that like it gets like just taken over at will look at the Belarusian babes dude although it's similar similar whatever her name was what the oh dude that's fighting words showing Putin kissing a man well they don't know who they like what do you mean cuz that's what happened in World

War two they were like the Germans were controlling it the Russians were controlling it they just had to fucking keep switching sides to stay alive like all the partisans all the freedom fighters and shit but at one point it got to this where Germans so the Germans had this plan to literally eradicate Eastern Europe and use it as like farmland for Germany so they're literally like let's just kill everyone didn't they pretend to be their boys too yeah that's so dastardly there is a little hitler was a pain in the ass I'll tell you what the more I read the more I read about this guy not as cool as you know your brother

your brother thinks but uh he turns out he was a jerk so at one point they were they ran out of manpower in Germany to like work the farms to make the food sending all their troops to just kill people yeah right so they sent these dudes all their troops to Belarus they all the guys were in Belarus so they sent Belarusian men they shipped them back to Germany to work the farms so that the soldiers could stay in Belarus or Belarus and kill the women and children Jesus people they're like well we're gonna be hungry for this I would be like I'll tell you people yeah like you might like this kill us I don't feel like

killing I forget the name of it there was a battalion a German battalion that was made of criminals and murderers and psychos and their job was literally just to kill civilians in Eastern Europe wild dude what that's fucked up dude Waffen grenadier or black hunters yeah that's the guy Oscar Darla Wenger it was bad they were not expected by Nazi Germany to survive their service so they would just send over there to they're just surrounded the whole chapter is just them surrounding villages rounding everyone up putting them in a barn lighting it on fire going to the next village it's pretend to be their boys

that's the biggest travesty the other they backstabbed yeah it always be the closest to you true you know that true that they were over there like damn this some good Bella Ruth's pussy you guys like want to win a war together I want to team up against the Soviets hey you guys take care of us we'll go over there make sure you guys are good they're just burning everyone alive yeah that's pretty fucked up man yeah that's what happens when you take religion out of society actually yeah well I think the Germans had a little bit of religion they were worshiping like ancient aliens though they were worshiping George

Stiglos it's kind of there he is dude there's a patron saying yeah this thing is a complete distraction true just looking at like oh yeah there you end up doing like an hour and 30 you don't even realize yeah yeah but the yeah dude that's that's some like level one jerk stuff with one of the bell this is you are headed to Georgio this is George Stiglos this is you year one of the podcast it's coming oh yeah that's you dude yeah I mean dude it's very possible and I'll be there is it that's him fucking getting dappered up yeah that's more that's you you're one

please do that damn George looking good season 13 he's been boozing yeah that alien money the boys been partying every night going home I people think I'm fucking full of shit he makes fun of me people don't think I know about fucking aliens begs the aliens to visit if he prays to them at night every single day there's his head please do like here's my dad skull what a fucking gig that guy turned out like I mean what a what a life dude he was able to turn that into like sick shit just getting on in line imagine the pussy he got imagine how many fucking pieces of serpentine he got dude I mean this just gives me love and

releases he probably did he fuck serpentine they probably just got two big smooth crystals four mil okay four mil I George I see George you bro I see George that's pretty good damn dude he's a Greek Austrian Greek Austrian yeah dude I mean where the he doesn't even need sources that guy can just be like dude you don't think aliens talk to the minds and everyone's like I could see that yeah zero so my favorite thing and I think that it's just funny because I was just in Arizona I think about Soder all the time because Soder gets it's a high like every night so me and Soder I used to go to his house every day because he

lived right next to me and one night he was high watching ancient aliens nice and he lived in Arizona for a while he went to Arizona and at one point they're like dangerous place for a stoner to be dude it is quickly elevates the crystal math but on we were watching ancient aliens so it was just sitting in like the corner of an L-shaped couch just in gym shorts curled up like and at one point they're like in Tacoma or Sedona Arizona and he goes Sedona I was like dude that's the highest thing I've ever seen anyone doing is a very getting a Sedona shout out on ancient aliens and being pumped and just sitting there like

Sedona dude Sedona is fucking a very mystical place it is a lot of a lot of the YouTube health mystical health coaches I watch live in Sedona the health coaches should be thrown off one of these they should be thrown off one of these natural yeah I'd like to see you throw Paul check off I'm not gonna go I'm not gonna go near that fucking certified health not off there I'd like fucking what's his name you probably yeah I would love to see you throw Paul check dude you would oh my god Jack's a fucking dildo he trained is this a guy punching himself in the dick no that's certified health not certified health

not alright I apologize Paul check Paul check as multiple wives by the way he's got two fucking wives dude he stacks rocks is that him with fucking I thought that was dude from the vampire show who also no the dude who beats his wife guys from vampire shows are nowhere else no he's on he was on big lie what's big lie or what's the fuck big little lies big little lies dude it's the dude don't know dude I'm Tony if Sedona is where I'm thinking of all these guys live out there is great but Sedona is like LA for tiktokers but it's just dudes being like hey guys try this chlorophyll yeah big

little eyes who's that where's areas scar scar scar bro yeah he was on true blood true it's on true blood yeah I think he beat the shit out I think every role he takes and he was Tarzan he white faced dude you're Sarah Silverman oh really yeah she's calling she should be quiet cuz you go ahead type in what she did what she do oh boy no I was gonna go blackface but sure she's got a vicious blackface really yeah of course yeah she's got a pretty vicious one 2019 oh who put that on Comedy Central how about that what the heck that's an old I'm sure there was some maybe she's getting married sure it was new she's

getting married you could have been marrying an African-American yeah she couldn't fuck that one I'm beautiful I look like Queen let's eat oh no is that what she you know look I don't want to engage in this slander and fucking game but yeah I just you know I personally thought she had some good she got fired from a movie role so she's alright she paid for it what movies you're inspired from roots look the optics the optics aren't great we're gonna have to let you go that's you entered a Baptist church with that face good lord how dude how do they talk so many of these people into doing this there's so many people in

the I don't know that's what I was like the blackface thing the blackface thing like people like oh it's different than back then it's like dude I was from a white town yeah surrounded by nobody that was woke and even I would be like that's don't do that you know like I instinctively was like that's bad yeah I remember one time my one of my old roommates fell asleep and I was like the one with her at the fucking church good Christ yeah that's pretty nuts man how did they so what was she saying about you face she was saying there's a lot of white women like playing Jewish women and how it needs to stop I think I bet I

don't want to bash her because I think she might be actually I mean I'm not bashing I didn't I didn't know she had that no I think she actually might be cool she could be wrong I mean you know she's cool enough to do that fucking shit earlier in her career she's doing some pretty good I was a fan of the Sarah Sullivan when I was to watch the Sarah Sullivan show I liked it yeah but you know it's babe dude babe so she had a special called Jesus is magic that I thought when it came out when I was a younger man I thought it was funny yeah I haven't seen it in a long time I used to be fair I used to love her too and she

is very attractive I still love I've never seen it look better than the pictures yeah I still love her a lot yeah no I was just yeah representation that's wait so so right so here's the problem I'm not gonna read this article yeah don't it's stupid but no I'm saying don't cut close it but she probably this is something I've got to avoid cuz it happened to us you see a headline and you're like oh this fucking idiot look at this dumbass yep and then you don't know that the article is probably like I don't know she might have been joking could have been although she does seem pretty serious I think it was

she doesn't seem pretty serious lately yeah but so I think the Jews I don't want to step out of line here what they may be over represented in Hollywood and comedy now I could be wrong where I get that from did you look at that chart on the internet of all the media is there a chart I'd like to see the chart there's a nice little flow chart kicking around don't look at it don't put it up I mean you know good on them and they yeah that's their industry that's their industry they figured it out yes you know good my dad and his brothers had a trash company exactly if someone was like there's too many Jews in the trash

industry yeah don't let people pick up like the Irish cops you know Eastern seaboard yeah that's a bad be a nasty flow chart yeah yeah no I don't look dude I don't get I don't get in a tizzy over this stuff I saw and I like that picture what Nick Cannon calls out the boys dude who do you call out he's called them all out Jimmy Kimmel Jimmy Fallon Sarah Silverman look at him cannon's the man dude you were right about this I'll give you this you were on cannon well before I was and it's the boy yes yeah dude the fact that he I mean I think Canada he's a lot of he's like six kids the cannon he's a P I

think it's a PhD a lot of these guys become and they cancel them do they these guys lie about me where the hell did you get that from yeah dude maybe as a master I think you got me and can and I think have masters agree the cannon degree did you get your masters yeah I got my fucking masters but what the hell you don't think I got my master's I'm not sure so you I thought about it you should be not in social work I might get my PhD who is this person I know black faces I don't like digging this up yeah true but what will be at the same out didn't he's having it what about sorry what about what about who is the guy

is a Billy Crystal somebody's album covers used to be just them blackface even Billy crystal there was like how is this so I don't know dude they loved doing blackface my thing is dude I forgive and forget Billy Crystal there is up there he is he won Tropic Thunder he was wrong about Billy's comedy album or something yeah he's just doing he's having fun there that's an impression that's not as bad yeah that's that's not as bad yeah he Tropic Thunder how about a I found this out so Bubba Wallace just won Talladega he's the they were like he's actually the second African-American to win a NASCAR race wait

to see the first guy what he literally is just John C. Riley where he's not black typing first NASCAR winner first black now yeah he literally looks exactly like John he is John C. Riley go to the what the go that one in the middle yeah that one no one over over to the right that is John C. Riley they were like this is we actually NASCAR has been progressive for years here's our first black winner it's his name is Wendell Scott so he does he's got the name for it but he's I'm not I'm not trying to say this guy's not black I'm not gonna disparage this man's legacy if you saw this guy using the

m-word you'd be alarmed if that guy was saying the m-word at the track I'd be well at the track at the track it was safe space on the track though if you're driving the lines if you're in within the if you're in the infield of a track you can say you can set true that you can't don't do it no can he edit that out miles an hour I think it's like a speed of light like it doesn't exist the word stops yeah it's like if you know you know the speed of light you stop aging yes you're hitting like 350 on a curve you let it slip it just doesn't come out of your mouth yep unless you're online playing video games yeah that's and then

you have to go to Williams Grove for a year yeah he's back you see what the boys been doing he's been winning young money young money's winning young money Kyle Larson is dominating in the dirt track no he's back in NASCAR and he's in first what by like a lot dude he went back to the fucking track dude he went back to Williams Grove and found his roots you know how many people probably on the track would like love to have gone read like gone and rediscovered themselves like that what the hell happened what's this what's that second in the cup series he's 30 you're looking that's one particular race okay so

you're boys and motherfucking bum he's 37 no no no cup series standing is right there at the bottom it's 37 Jesus Christ are you blind are you a fucking blind idiot wait are you actually struggling Danny Hamlin's in first now what the Danny Hamlin did you Larson's rocking that Chevy dude second place damn how I know the place 16 top five finishes don't call it a six wins look at everybody else's win total two six one one four three two dude he's fired up he's fired up he's pissed he was crushing the track that was just think about being young money you're in NASCAR you get fucking kicked out I mean what

kind of what kind of money you think he that was probably a loss of a lot of money he probably lost a lot of money he was probably he went from making probably hundreds of dollars like 400 bucks a week oh no he made he made a lot of money in the dirt track yeah I guess this merch yeah damn Kyle Larson is worth 12 mil he still flies commercial though yeah I'm cheap dude young money how do you not love him now I can understand some people not like him true for certain things from yeah in the video games here in the video games here I could be like PewDiePie pulled out PewDiePie's all right no don't play

dude don't do it I made it like that don't you dare disparage him handsome devil did I found out bro find out he's a Cali boy is he really he's California way nicknames young money pretty tight bro all right well we might have to switch over to the page to the page Google I'll tell you what see I told you time goes fast Google this could be a this could be a negative experience for the audio listeners I'll tell you that no us us just like look that up click that oh shit look at him all right it's not as much time as you think it's a relaxed environment dude this is a fast-paced environment at first this is a

relaxed environment of course it's a relaxing man I couldn't be cooler true I'm cooler than a cucumber as hell I got serpentine in my hand all my negative thoughts are going straight into this rock now if you broke this open be terrifying yeah man the thoughts that would come out I had been absorbed by this I almost don't want to hand it to you because yeah what you'd feel let's start like thinking about Clemson I am getting into betting which is fun yeah you like that I like betting and losing I lose like losing I like losing money so I can be around the fellows and be like I don't even want to tell you how much

money I just really you know it's fun to do that you like that I like losing money publicly and being like what the hell it's just money yeah come on yeah ah shit you have like a folded up program yeah I was watching a squid game have you seen it well the opening scene is them going to like in Korean horse betting that's gotta be fun it looked like the most how fast they can eat a boy that's a dark chocolate that's the dark chocolate speaking but boy that was funny and we that's I mean that's a walk-off probably should be the end of the podcast the black window that's all the black widow can eat so many cheese

you know we have Nathan's hot dog eating contest they just have at Nathan's that that's a good joke actually Korea just outlawed eating dogs now yeah thank you guys thank you Korea was that from North that was North Korea mandate or South South Korea is munching the dags they got food problems over there they're struggling with food dude they're munching the dags there's there's not the funny about that that debate yo we please get the debate especially with the translators voice like slowly translating it like for years dog eating has been good here yes or any now I don't even show they're not gonna show the

debates I don't like they probably wasn't even a debate the debate was but you ever see like Ukrainian Congress like this way it's probably yeah it's dude imagine they outlawed chicken on you dude to be they outlawed wings to be fair of course that's the thing like America like when you eat dogs yeah yeah they munch dogs do their dogs who cares true now we like dogs but they don't care so let them munch is anyone have a dog over they have dog it's like having a goat it says South Korea considers ban on eating of dog meat as pet ownership grows so a couple people got dogs like all these guys rule what the fuck are we

grandpops like pussy yeah like if you like keep a dog like dude watch that thing pussy yeah if everybody in our country had like a pig in their house they'd be like all right we gotta outlaw eating pigs Joe pigs are great pretty funny too and also eating horses is very noble too I've been reading a book about like I think it was a video but I've been reading along this vein of like people just like dropping out of society and like living kind of off the grid and one guy was like I eat nothing but horse meat for like a year really yeah horse meat apparently it's like warrior food that makes sense they used

to munch horses a lot so people could take as an insult really was just a compliment for me honestly true and so is mine and see that's this is how we've grown as a podcast because normally we would have been like or the dogs and now we're like let's go into it and explore this true explain the cultural let's go let's grow dude we'd like to grow as a podcast like that horse that's warrior food that is warrior food just the Huns I mean yeah just chomping you just chomping down what the fuck what the kind of racist bullshit is this from the Atlantic the troubled history of horse meat hey

the Atlantic sent a thing recently about the being like you know tips we learned from this wave like basically like we learned that we failed they can't they said every every fucking day they're like we failed whatever whatever was the last thing called a delta was a test and we failed it's like what are you talking about yeah they're like I don't like them we need to stop relying on the vaccine to slow the spread it was never invented to prevent infection it was prevented to reduce hospitals it's like you guys said in the beginning it was supposed to fuck it slow dude it's insane I saw a nice montage of all

those politicians like Pelosi and Biden all them being like we're not gonna mandate the vaccine that's unconstitutional we're never gonna do that was like five months ago dude I saw an article recently about a there was like they're talking about this guy he used to be this is great I had me in the O'Connor man have been battling I got him back off the road me and him sit on a couch and I'm like see how fucking dumb Democrats are but I was like watch this clip and it was Biden being like I'm never I'm not gonna do that we're not gonna mandate the vaccine and then I was like that was seven months ago now

here he is and he's like we're mandating it for federal every federal employee every company with over 100 employees yep and Chris was like well it's not a government mandate he's just saying if you work in the federal government like that's how he genuinely that's how he argues I'm like yeah what the fuck you talking about federal mandate I'd like to kill Chris you're gonna kill him yeah he's giving me a ride back to New York after this you should kill him I'm driving I might grab the wheel I'll sit in the back and it's dude right as he parks the car so I should show my serpentine down his

throat my serpentine yeah there was an article I was reading about uh they're like this guy wrote a book on what we should do it was like it was the ex director of the FDA and he just so how he was director of the FDA up until 2019 now he's on the board at Pfizer hmm not exactly a lateral move yeah we like the way you policed us gave us how about you hop on the board you got like it yeah pretty nice I just want the government to have more power and say over what I want I want corporations that I want them to just fully overpower the government you know what I like is when how hypocritical both sides are that's

what I like the most like like people on the right old Republicans always right like women women being like it's my body my choice with abortion that was fun and then the vaccine vaccine people like my body my choice the government can't tell me what to put in my body and both sides are like yes they can't I know is that was a I thought I started thinking that was almost planned I for a second I was like a Republicans doing the shit just to like throw that into the mix or this is what I'm kind of thinking I think they're gonna boogie man dams with they're gonna keep that abortion thing at abortion things gonna

keep popping up around like vote time that's not good for the Republicans what did the majority of the country is well the people who vote people who vote are geezers though most people are pro-choice but the geezers vote and a lot of the yeah but not anymore now we got the mail ins bro yeah you don't reference the big lie bro well fuck I'll kick this thing off the thing you reference a big lie the fuck happens dude you reference the big reference a big lie dude what lie the big lie the mailings the big lie dude what the fuck you're doing mailing ballots rule don't reference a big fucking lie there's the big lie and

there's no FDA you fuck better not dude you don't like this stuff now I mean not as soon as a pastor FDA I say oh my god yeah the big lie is what the hell Trump's big lie white history month that was that's not the big lie what would white history month be what history month yeah it's every other month man you guys have it all the time yeah that was a Mexican impression true but yeah the now they're saying like yeah election fraud stuff I don't fucking know whatever guys this thing's run its course are you happy I'm back no maybe it's all just for the page bro now it's time to get to the patreon

page on the page where we do now we're gonna turn up turn the jets on that's how it goes might even get Billy up here who knows might get Bill might get somebody might just fuck around might just be you and me might just fuck around and find out having fun yeah God bless yeah man see you