Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 382 - The Easter Ham (feat. Brian Six)

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support YFI @ patreon.com/YFIpodcast Time to relax and pop on the cast. Shit and 2 is 8. The BEEZ stopped by for a long boy and got down and dirty with the DAGZ. We take a break to munch some mexicali for fuel around 6 min in. After that we're flyin. We talk some ball, and do 3 ads. Shit and 2 is 8. Enjoy.

My big sis as big sis big sis What's better than your big sis hitting you up? Nothing. I wish I had a big sis. I just got these big brothers, dude Brothers suck big sisters would be although having older brothers nice especially brother like Tom who's it was a bit of an entrepreneur. Oh, yeah, dude How nice am I it's sliding into ads now? Dude, you might I'm a seasoned pro. I'm Billy Mays. I'm Billy Mays, dude Joe you are gonna die Billy Mays what do you die from? Kill himself you got himself He saw the boat in half dude, and he sunk didn't you have some shit that going on like he's some dark shit going on with him

I think Billy may we're here live with the bees or are we going? Yeah All right Take it east the big bees dude the big big see guys in the bees nest from your fuck that podcast give it a listen It's very funny Brian six aka the bees man. What's up and Ryan Schaener aka? Just pretty much that yeah, he doesn't have a nickname doesn't have a cool nickname now He's got a last name nightmare shame. Oh, yeah, he's the nightmare Like they're not even done nightmare. Just nightmare dude. Hey nightmare nightmare and the bees Nightmare, dude. He's he's spooky dude. I know hold take you on a spooky journey

Every job for a community is taking on spooky journeys and the nightmare will take you there, and then I'll show you spooky paintings I Put down this spaulding since I heard about the fucking challenge dude We're playing LOS bro. Oh, I got brought up last night. I was I did leisure skanks last night and They brought up and I was like wait a minute. Wait. Yeah, I was like huge. I was like explain this to me So Jay's like yeah, dude me Lewis Dave against McCusker Shane Tommy, and I was like Tommy Pope He goes, yeah, like hey, no, whoa, I know Tommy's a lot. I'm not sure I know he did There's a part of me that's afraid. He's horse-feeding

Tom can be a feeder, but every time he feeds Like one time I heard him. He was like, I'm fucking great at golf And I was sitting there like dude, I've lived with you for two years. You've never gone golfing once I can see him be good. See then he does that show with Tyler Ross look good on that bomb in it, dude Yeah, I could see him being nasty. He's nasty when we did it when they filmed Delco proper He was just jack-in-home runs That was was a sport baseball. Yeah, that was baseball. He played basketball. I think he played bad basketball I was afraid of a horse feed. I asked him last night. He confirmed he played four years of high school basketball

Why he played at high school basketball. That's what I was told dude Yes, you should see me today. I told you already. I heard yeah, did I tell you? Yeah Yeah, I say it on the page. I don't remember. I mean I don't believe the other horse power was felt Big J got a taste of the horse. Who was playing that out Tom Tom gas digital Admiral Ackbar, dude It was basically the gas digital staff yeah, and bartender from the stand who balled out Dave temple it was fun It was fun. It was nice to go play basketball. I was so delighted my legs didn't fall apart. Thank God I've been doing box step-ups dude. They felt it. They felt the power. I mean once these

Yeah, damn, dude, please take a look at that That's dude, that's Christmas dinner That's mashed out of the table my family would tear that out. Oh, they wouldn't know what to do with all these mashed Hades Oh, you think it's an Easter ham. That's an Easter ham. I might be the Easter ham That's a powerful thigh all joking aside as a powerful thigh and that kind of stuff's gonna win this game Dude conditioning dedication discipline fundamentals. I cannot wait. Are you out there? Are you hitting the course? Yeah? I'm gonna hit a hundred jump shots every day. I hit of course today That's

Swish that's right there elbow in elbows in here That's crazy, bro. I'm like the what's the game with who's it got a gray out? Brown yeah, I think in the video or the movie about him You need some food you need some podcast and fuel. I'm hungry now I couldn't get any feel we're here joined today with our special guest Brian the bees or six bees I I have been missing you. I know I didn't even know you were in town. I had a wild night at helium Little too wild. That was fun. What was this?

Wednesday night after the 76ers basketball game. I had to go check out and bead to style my game And then I and then I went back to helium and trust the process and we had fun. What was the show? What show is it? There was no show. Well, there was a secret headliner show, but we it was over Me and Ron were looking for a fun after-party. Just still secret Yeah, I don't even know who was the secret to the to the audience now. Nobody And it was Dude, we go to the game

We were kind of teetering on floor seats got you so there the way the 76ers do is they have like a VIP They have like your concierge to your VIP concierge and he hooks you up and he's like Yeah, come through. They all I think there's like VIP like they work there and try to get guests to come to the game Gotcha. So Roan had the hook up one of the guys at the VIP thing liked Roan He claimed he was one of my fans clearly he Wikipedia'd me It's crazy. He hit me with like three Wikipedia facts. He was like, oh man I love you knew your new special live in Austin. So good. Also, you went to Westchester University

What about that? I was like, dude, you've googled me my friends. Oh, no, I went to Westchester So wait, they did they like poach you while you're at the game and try to get you to come in No, we Roan had been in contact with this guy. Got you and then we get there and they're like, ah, you can't we're not The floor seats are taking we're gonna we have to get you guys a box Which was great, but apparently dude, I think they I think they googled me and Barstool and they're like You're not sitting floor, dude 76ers organization turned its back. They were like, no, that's why I'm a Ben Simmons fan. We got some food, bro. Answer the call Hello, sir

Hello, I'm very sorry, ma'am. I'll be out there in a second Defense that ball is flat as hell beezer. Yes, what's going on with you? Nothing man. It was good night last night What'd you get into last night? I did a dab on leisure skanks. Oh, you hit a dab. Yo Skank hands, bro, dude. Welcome to the God job Must have done no joke. I'm probably low ball 10 or what I was like, dude, I did one and at one point Canon nudged me and goes six. You all right. I was like, yeah

And then I looked at me and he said something that I definitely didn't hear I was like, what? No, I was fine. I was just that's just Molly Just rushed on me out. You see the bees hit the Molly when it when the mall heads I got crazy all the blood in his head disappears. Yeah, it's good. He's like a whole walk in a room You'll be like Jesus Christ. Yeah, like you guys party night. It's so yeah, it's so fun Dude, we might need to take we're gonna have to take a munch break. Yeah, that's and break Let's We're back. We're live. We were talking about apocalypse now while we were munching worry for a second

Yeah, they added sex scenes in the deluxe version on Netflix. What some of the hotter Playmates, maybe they strike a deal for gas with the chopper. He's like you can fuck the girls Yeah, it's pretty cool. I was that mixed up with apocalypto. I'm like the apocalypto sex scene. It'd be nasty That would be fun to watch down. Yeah, pussy down the well. He's like, I'll be back Part of the movie where the part where they were just like running. Yeah, man, that's good. Yeah, I mean classic. It's what he does Mmm great director right now on the TV that you guys can't see we have a live cam from around the world It's a fun channel. I look at sometimes on YouTube Live streaming around the world. We're gonna turn it off because it's distracting. Yeah, 587. We're just watching

500 people. We're also watching around the stream. Yeah True ballers. Yeah, man. What's up, so we're back after the food. Wow. What a nice delicious treat that place was Delicious, bro. Yeah, it's awesome. What was the name of the hot peppers hot peppers and So the bees I haven't seen in a while. I know what's going on in your life Same old man. Yeah, last night was fun. It was good came up. I did a did rap Then did Fuck there was that he's just Josh. Yeah, he's just resin. Yeah, whatever, but I did top nine What's that Tom Cassidy and Adele? No, it was a podcast and it was funny because

He said if hey if you're coming up, you can do it. I said, yeah, who thinks of the top nine list and he goes He goes You do and I was like, okay And then I was like right before I left Philly to come up here. I texted Tommy and I was like, dude I do not think of like a top nine thing. Can you just tell me what else other people did and he was like, what are you some kind of Retard I was like, all right, there it is top nine parents sayings because I cut deep That's great. Yeah, it was really funny. What did you come up with? What were some years? Just the normals yank your head out of your ass, you know the classics. I'll be watching you like a hawk not my turn to watch them

Yeah, what's your what do you what do you go with? What did your Paul hit you with? I'll give you something to cry about Yeah, I'll give you something to cry about because I said is yeah, that was that was the bane of my existence when I was young Maybe like why can't I sleep at the bidowsky's house? Cuz I said now get in the car Everybody else's parents are cool. Let him stay. Yeah, my dad's big thing was if I said anything back to him He'd be like if I'd be like, come on. He'd be like, I'll come on you. Yeah Whoa I'll come on you my dad would every once in a while if you would say hey, can you if you asked him for something to go?

Yeah, what color and then he'd walk away Sure, what color? Very funny. Yeah, that's a sick move Phil had a classic that was you go. Ah shit in two is eight It's a classic Phil. Yeah, it's sit down. What's shit in two is a just means like Shit in two is eight just like I'm sitting down. I'm relaxed. Yeah, I already sit down you go Shit in two is eight No, no, no says I think my dad misheard a real saying

Yeah, I pulled one out that my grandpa used to say I never knew what it meant But apparently it's a known one which is you talk like a guy with a paper asshole. I've never heard that I looked it up What's that even it's a known thing apparently it's like the origin is like it's a guy talking about a story It's like did calm down none of that shit happened. You're talking shit Like that, but there's also other they said there's other definitions for it Because considering who was it's my dad's dad. So I was like that means you're gay. I just assumed it was something about being gay Yeah, and a paper asshole. Yeah, yeah, someone could get right up it. You had a paper asshole. You get right up paper Michelle. Yes. Yeah, but I'm like, you're horse feed grandparents didn't even know about gay

Yeah, yeah, I don't think so now America. We didn't start doing that till like the 80s You don't want it. Yeah, what was it? You don't need it. You want it? My mommy said a lot that crossed me Yeah, I need it. I have my go. I hope you don't have to beat your ass Please I need you on my side Father beat your ass. She wrote dirty things in the ad libs. Yeah That was mad libs mad libs mad libs mad libs of mine, bro. It was It was crazy pussy One thing was so fast. It'll make your blank butthole spin my mom. Yes. She slapped you in the head. It was like dick

Pussy. Yes, bitch. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You found that Crushed me that Mexican really put a little speed bump on this. It hurt. It helped me, bro I was dying. No, you were just kicking in dude the beginning of this podcast. I mean what digest? No, it's funny I don't remember the beginning. I don't know what happened. I know at one point I got too hyped up and Tried to do an impression of the uber driver It was fun though. You were excited for food. I know and to be fair. It was completely in I couldn't tell what was going on. Don't let me tell you that context. Also, it's not that far off It was a lot of times the uber driver will call you and

It's not no fault of their own. They have a tough time with English. It's a new language for a lot of them Yeah, sometimes they'll hit you with just you know, it'd be like if I was in Spain, I'd be like, uh, it's like a key now Well, I think it's like like whenever like they turn the credit card thing around me like to your signature I just go like I know it doesn't matter. Yeah, so that's why I genuinely think sometimes they just go like blah You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know they all come out and get this because there's sometimes 90 I'm like that wasn't even an attempt at anything That's what I heard though when you answer the phone. Dude, it was wasn't far off. You're impressed. He was a great, dude I thought I almost misgendered the man my apologies, but it was just a dude from

Gendered maybe Estonia with like a crazy high voice. It was really sick. Hmm. That was Estonian I can't tell bro around here around here. You got to be real good at Geography. I thought he just sounded Indian. No, dude He was a honk No, I don't know what Estonia is, but I had a feeling where do you think Estonia is? I'm thinking like near like Kazakhstan somewhere around there. It's not he was like one of those Kazakhstan bros But technically former Soviet Union, so technically the Kazakhstan and Latvia were the same country at one point True. So you are that's kind of what's going on. Isn't Estonia always loyal? I say Latvia or Estonia, which one did you laugh? Yeah, I said Estonia Estonia Latvia and Lithuania the three on top of each other, right?

In Estonia is loyal to Russia. I believe I don't know which one. Yeah, I'm all I think they're all NATO I don't think Estonia is NATO Shawn look that up. I think Shawn look it up. Is Estonia in NATO Yeah, I think one of those just totally there's a couple of those countries that are like we're Russia till we die Well, apparently that's a lot of the Ukraine You really think so I've heard there's a lot of people in Ukraine that are pro Russia Although that could just be Russia being like come on man. They love us Russia was correct. Thank you Shawn Please please let me know Thank you, thank you Shawn fair enough. There's one that's not there's one that's right outside there near

Belarus Belarus, I think you're right. Yeah, could be Belarus holds it down. I think you're absolutely right I think they should hate Russia. I'm telling you dude one of those guys does like with no fucking way It was something about Ukraine and Turkey Turkey. Yeah, they don't get along that they Russia was mad at One of those Yeah, Ukraine all things designed to box Russia in oh for sure. Oh, and they know yeah, but that's the other thing too Russia has to it's got a fucking get those other states back because it needs a long Treacherous road because now with Ukraine right there. You can get right into one of those capitals, dude

Yeah, so there rushes in a tight spot dude. It has no it has no choice going after Russia Then it's not that it's not anyone's going after them. They have to expand They have to expand to get that buffer zone and they will go into Ukraine and they're going to try to get those other Previously Soviet countries back. This is the book. This is the book. This is the next hundred years book Russia will try to expand and They're gonna it's what's gonna happen is they're gonna expand expand expand They're gonna start spending too much in the military The economy is gonna falter because the population is gonna dip so they're like

And we're gonna figure out in different forms of energy because they're getting all that money from the natural gas That's gonna put that's gonna Peter out at some point Russia collapses all those countries turkeys gonna start They're all gonna start grabbing pieces of the former Russian states, whatever. Hmm. Russia's gonna be this big, bro Really 2040 that's the that's the guy's prediction. I don't know But yeah, Russia's gonna fall hard and then that's when the Eastern Bloc is gonna start stinks right now I know dude, but they're they export that natural gas. They got the net. They got Europe hooked on their natural gas So I think the United States is gonna start doing space base energy Once they they're gonna start doing what are they called battle stars or whatever? Yeah, that's the United States next move

launching battle stars up around like a Up around the Middle East, you know all those areas, so they'll be able to drop missiles anywhere Yeah, Tom quit knock it off. Yeah, dude, cuz then fucking we got to deal with Japan Japan's gonna start carving into China once China collapses that we're gonna have Japan's gonna have a nasty Navy turkeys gonna be growing Only hope is Mexico and Poland. Yeah, it's gonna be 2050. He's gonna be lit This book is sick as hell. Yeah next hundred years is tight It sounds like it tall an old bogey like me some stuff. Yeah, I appreciate your confidence with all this I'm telling you dude. I mean that's what the book says we'll see yeah, however China

I think absolutely will fault you got a gut feeling China's faltering. I believe so Same thing happened Japan Japan got fucked up because when you have these communist countries The economy is not so much based on Japan wasn't communist I know but I'm saying what happened to Japan was they had a similar thing going where it was like The economy was based more on a elite class was it was just on like relationships So you'd have these companies that would just start getting loan after loan after loan So it wasn't about if you're profitable or not because you could just get loans Now would it they have these companies that were prone to just collapsing. They weren't built on merit and profitability

So these big things become like Ponzi schemes So Japan fell but Japan's very stoic and they're like we fucked up our bad China's gonna fall hard. Yeah, cuz it's all the Communist Party and they're gonna Apparently they're saying at least 25% of China's GDP is bad like businesses that are faltering. Yeah, I'm sorry faltering Could be 40, bro. Okay, we'll see we'll see I don't know me and me and George Freeman. We'll figure this out Yeah, I've been loving hitting that because people know whatever's like. Oh, yeah, I see that So I have no yeah, I just read that one book, but pretty sick. What happened to Japan? Japan starts to carve up China. No, what happened to Japan when they fell

Nothing, they actually just Japan's very good at like they have a very Disciplined citizenry. So the government they like look up to the elites in Japan. They're like, we're the elites. We're Bushido Yeah, like here's what we're doing tighten your fucking belts for 10 years We're gonna turn this thing around they do pretty well nice Japan can maneuver because they're a small country Yeah, but the population dips coming. So now they're gonna have to figure out how to Basically get labor, but they can't let people you know Immigrate to their country is so small and they also Japan does not like immigrants So they're gonna go to China. What types of things do they say to the immigrants? I don't know. I don't know

It's a wall Build a war China did build a wall they did they certainly did to keep out who Yes, so they said Japan's gonna carve up China and then started like a pretty sick Navy So that's gonna be a problem coming in 2015. What are we talking about with the South China Sea? What's going on in there, bro, right now? Yeah Japan well us has total domination over be surprised

That's Chinese are building fucking islands, bro building their own islands dude. It's all gonna come crashing down. I Believe I believe so they don't have the naval path. They don't have the United States Navy is crazy, bro Yeah, United States. You're telling me the night United States police budget is like did you listen to the last 100 episodes? We've done. Yeah, dude, you know the Navy. I've been telling you about the Navy So what are you trying to set me in the South China Sea trap, you know, I know he's interesting, bro What's going on? You got to figure it out yourself. I'm talking dude once they put that Battlestar above that thing over dude What about China's technology? They got some supersonic shit

We've never heard before that book or after the game are you gonna predict that our supersonic technology? Yeah, they're they're saying a bunch of those countries have supersonic missiles. We've had them before Did he predict the fact that we wouldn't even we'd be like I think they're UFOs Meanwhile, China's super sonics getting wild. I'd have to see the declassified I'd have to see the declassified. I'd have to see the declassified. Have you seen the declassified? You know I've seen them. Yeah, what are you thinking? Don't worry about what I'm thinking. I'd like to hear the Beez's take They're pretty good tigli area on this. The declassified. Yes. We're pretty good now, man A lot. There's a bunch of countries that have supersonic missiles now

They're saying by 2050. They'll think supersonic. What's the definition with supersonic missiles? Yeah, I mean I get that planes break the sound barrier jets break. Yeah. Yeah, we're like what I call a hypersonic or something Yeah, it's something crazy. Yeah, they're like the the ones they're predicting will come will be like Five times the speed of sound pretty soon Jesus, so that's what they're that's what they're predicting is coming up. Who's predicting it me and George I mean the technology is there has it has freemen it hasn't I've heard negative reviews about freedmen did who's been talking I've heard his book was debunked within like three years false. No, actually a lot of 2009 wrong. He wrote it in 2000. Obviously. He's not gonna be thing for thing, but he's been what's his background?

He is in private intelligence. So he like people consult with him He'll like kind of help government agencies predict. He's the future. He just knows history, bro Like if you know history like me and George do you can start to look at trends like the 50 year I'm more of like a philosophy type guy. Yeah, I'm more of like 50 year on a lot of cycles and I'm like, oh shit We're coming up for he he basically called 2020 was gonna be Chaos bro. Really? Yes. What do you say? So this is gonna be total chaos It's like a fucking economic cycles. It's like a horoscope. It's like 2020 is gonna be nuts. No, but it what he says Here's what I have for 2022 dude every five years

2022 is gonna be fucking crazy Matt hold on a sec. No, no, no, it's coming to me dude the books are on the next hundred years Everyone's been asking me for it. It's so good I've been I've been trying to listen to a hero of two worlds I just keep what's going on with it, but it's what's his name. It's Mike Duncan the guy who does those revolutions podcasts Bees He I think it's Mike Donkums I gotta check if it's Mikey Donkeys

Yeah, it's Mike Donk Duncan Mike Duncan Michael Donkums alert Mikey Donkums Michael Donkums He's got a great book. It's called hero of two worlds. It's about the makide Lafayette Oh, you were telling me about that. Lafayette rules. What's up with it? Every night. I just speak French. What's good with it? I go j'ai pas de chez toi They found wall. It's the hottest language, bro. It is hot bees. Let me give you a French Let me hear it. Let me hear it. I just do it. I'm brown. J'ai beau belle brown. Yeah God damn. J'ai beau belle. What's that be? La bibliothèque. That means library. That's no big one. It's Spanish, dog

Yeah, it's Billy a techa. Billy a techa Spanish bibliothèque. Yeah, Billy a tech is French. Oh nice I didn't even know that How about that you learn something every every time I sit down with you to learn something very good I saw when you guys to keep talking French. I'm getting hard. J'ai pas de chez toi J'ai pas pour quoi? I feel like I'm wearing silk box. I was in Montreal. That's how they were all talking Just walk by you just j'ai pas pour la petite ball. Is there accent different than regular French? Certainly is I mean

Yeah, it's Canada yeah, but I figured I didn't know how much harsher it was and like regular French like French Canadian I'm sure it is. It's gonna be confusing for like yeah Canadian French and like people from France to try to figure out Where's gay or one of the French or Canada? They're probably like no we Easy answer France is the gayest Canada's Gay run like no other Canada used to rule you didn't either just leave when that when we see dude Canada rules Didn't really for a little they were pretty cool. I didn't know that I think they've always been politically gay

But like I was country used to kind of rock I guess I was it was just kind of like in a full battle for the soul of Canada right now whether or not watch it Oh, I'll show you I can't believe Australia's having the battle how our staunchest cool, bro allies How did that happen Canadians and Australians dude? Alright P. Dude to both of them. What happened? They're just battling for their soul right now Yeah, I mean dude that's Canada I was like, yeah, that makes sense Australia. I saw Australia to be our boys, dude What the fuck that's a real I thought Australia was Texas. So did I they ain't dude turn out there fucking Connecticut

That's a real Australia's Connecticut, dude just a bunch of our colonies down there Fucking sponges. It's not that bad. It's not that bad. I've been sitting here for six months. Let me back at work So yeah, they'll be DMing us the mates will be damn it. That's the boat the date the fucking mates are gonna hit us up The Canucks will stay quiet. They know their fucking place. Oh, yeah, four bucks. No, they're fucking place I keep canceling shows up there. If I live in Canada No, I'm not doing it. That's because they're not supporting their truck. Well, no, it's just they're at half capacity Trudeau keeps locking it down, dude He stole those funds, bro. That's our folks. Do you hear about the go fund me? No, dude There was like 10 allegedly. I think like 9.7 million dollars to the truckers or go fund me and go fund me

Took the funds away. I'm like, oh, that's like terrorist stuff. Didn't give the truckers their funds Everyone's gonna that's not gonna stop the trucker. I love the star of out workers that are striking I'm liberal Workers that's what I saw dude bringing the robot scabs open the Gatling gun on the citizenry And that's why he's on the run now. Huh? That's why he's on the run now I mean, I've heard like bits and pieces of it, but from the things I put together What That's a fucking sick move

Yo, and I I'll say this right now if fucking YouTube's on some shit and gives us a strike for talking shit on Canada Shame on you, dude. Yeah, shame on you. If YouTube struck us down for like basically saying that you know Trudeau struck down the workers the laborers Facts Okay, it's not Well, here's the thing for sure the money from what I heard got snagged from go fund me again This could be Republican super PAC. I don't know go fund me go for me They sent him to the truckers, dude. Although all the alt comics were banking on go fund me. Remember that

Constantly, they'd be like I'm planning a trip. Could you please donate? We're doing our improv at a fucking bar in Minneapolis That was oh, what a bunch of dumb losers came under fire for that the one time I came under a lot of fire for that one of the guy right when COVID started one comic just was like I need money Yeah, that was there was the shape of an L on his forehead To one of the great one of money to get married in Vegas. Yeah, there was that There was a and that's the two one of them ripped off another comic from Philly nice to move home Yeah, you gotta be careful. It's time to go home improv comedians gotta be careful. We got a lot of problems in that community Yeah, they're disgusting. Yeah a lot of butt-grabbing going on

But grabbing that's light work. I know they get in true s and raping dude That's a day though, allegedly. Yes, allegedly improv comics really Proving time and time again. Yeah, the improv boys grab tits. They're digger. I'll be wild Cuomo's They're Cuomo's dude. Yeah, they're full vetoes full Cuomo's. Yeah, dude. The Yeah, remember the one guy. Oh, bam. What is it one of them? We're as we used to yell Yo, babe That's a good video video is an improv. Yo, did you ever go to Woodward? That's the question

Did you get sponsored? I was on flow which means that you got stuff from the companies. Yeah, but I just sound some gear That counts kind of like kind of like Worked on that. I worked at a skate shop. So I just it was stealing a lot of our Shit that was in my size, but they didn't care. They're getting boxes a month. You know, I mean You know boards and blades. Yeah Did you do what was the nastiest trick you did into the foam pit? I try to flip one time Board state I would fly the front or back flip front. Oh, how would you oh my god, that's crazy Yeah, I was hauling. Yo, those things aren't as like a foam pits not as like oh, I can land anyway in this as you think

No, they're kind of hard. Yeah, they're scary. I was okay. I went to a foam pit one time and I was like Oh, I was in my head. I'm like if I had a foam pit I would do like a 360 messy flip. I like looked in it. I'm like I'll like fall into it Yeah, doesn't look like that. You see even Jake with hair. I got stuck in one. Yeah, I Could see dude. You see him foam pit. You could see how it happened No, dude, I don't even know you could get you could just get stuck. Oh, they're tough You get in I'm not getting in ever they're tough I try to avoid any type of absolute fat disaster

There's a stool at the cellar. That's right right in the doorway. There's a stool there. Yeah creaky I'll be like nice. I'm gonna sit down and watch this set. That's a fat trap. That's an absolute fat trap Especially it's usually right after I got done. I mean the whole audience would have such a hoot if I destroyed a chair in the middle They would love it comedian on there whoever it is would just yeah people start go fund me's I would start I'd say I need to get married I'm trying to get five bucks from everybody else's dad and the fucking old scene. There was a guy's How does it taste? Oh, that's what I'm supposed to it tastes good Lucy's Lucy oh nicotine. Let's go. Hey, are you addicted to fucking nicotine?

Spike it spice up your life Lucy makes all sorts of nicotine products like gum locenges and pouches beezer We're gonna get you on this you're addicted to cigarettes dude. Yeah, that'd be a good case. Don't you try one nice little eight milligram He tossed it in your upper lip. Wow. What an easy to open case Bees are the reason we called you here today's worried worried about your cigarette smoking and we'd like for you to take our sponsors Where are you? Lippin upper. Yeah, that's it. Tell Beezer. This is an intervention You've had too many fucking cigarettes, dude, you'll never intervene me on cigarettes God will that Lucy will get you

Lucy will get Lucy will Thousands of lies really yeah, dude. It's the best most responsible way to consume nicotine. Yeah, dude It's not going outside probably minty right off the bat. I don't a lot of veterans You don't like it shut up probably helps a lot of veterans. So they offer regular. Hey guys cowboy flavor. Hey, Brian Brian B. Well, so when you feel a craving call up your girl Lucy and switch to a new nicotine product that you can feel good about For once. It's got a heart. It does hurt for the weak lift You got a paper you got a paper asshole. You got a paper asshole. You got a girl mouth. Don't chew it, dude

I didn't show it. I just look like we took you for your word Check out Lucy's full-time products at Lucy dot co. That's Lucy dot co and use promo code drenched at checkout It helps support the show if you use our code. Here's the part the lawyers make me say Warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is addictive chemical But you already knew that dude So if you're interested in a better way to use nicotine visit Lucy dot co and be sure to use the promo code drenched Wow What an ad read that's advertising I couldn't be a better advertise. I was a good salesman. You should see me I believe it dude. Thank you. You're horrible. I thought you didn't sell one

Fuck up Brian. You got close to it. You're like, it's gonna cost you No, no, no, that was bathtub. Oh, oh Yes, guys do well with bath tubs. I think I worked three months and didn't sell one. Well, that was that like scam thing It was a full scam. Yeah, yeah, go to older people Bro, they clearly they just rented an office and tricked 20 year old kids to go around and try to sell bath tubs Yeah, they sold one. They all got 10 grand They came into my high school and try to get us our high school allowed them to come into us Well, I'm time and try to get us to join like a scam or you go to old people and be like you need to renovate your house

And you'd hit them with like a weird Yeah, dude, they go into old people you say look dude, you guys can't keep using a tub You need a walk-in shower. You guys are gonna die. You scare the hell out of somebody's name Yeah, you want this old bag of bones fucking fallen and then you got to carry them down the steps. Yep, you'll be dead before sundown True, that's what you tell me they call my boss for an estimate. Oh, that's a good my fill What if you ever get a big plate of food you guys, what are they shooting you had sun up? Classy he hits my aunt with it everything's giving and she's always like your plate's got more than mine He hits my liberal aunt dude, I told you about my liberal

All that was crazy she bulldogged us She asked her dude I absolutely support anybody that doesn't go along with their family and coming in hot. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, just coming in and being like you fucking idiots aren't following the mandate you deserve to die of COVID It's like yes, go off. Let's go. Let's go fight everybody. Let's do battle. Hmm. That's treating you. That's a little harsh, dude You're suckling on that thing. I mean what am I supposed to do just let it chill dude. Look at look at me Cool as a cucumber, but he's like a he's like a loosey model. He's swallowed it already true I thought I would have thought he popped the Mexican jumping bean. What is the schedule?

the schedule is I don't know one supposed to do you for like what a couple of hours It depends on if you're how heavy of a smoker you are. Yeah, if you're addicted to nicotine like I am you keep using them and it worsens your Addiction, but this has this is basically six back of the boxing. It's like two or three Another drunk. Yeah, but it doesn't have all the bad chemicals. That's loose. Just has nicotine Lucy.co promo code drenched I'm surrounded by nicotine addicts. Yeah, you're a fucking stoner, dude I was stoning last night. Were you stoned? Oh, yeah, dad. I did it dad. Don't fucking you dad Yeah, and I didn't think it was that much and then I blew it out. I was like that's way too much and I

Immediately lost it. Oh, dude. How dad was as strong as fuck, right? Yes, dude That's what I was saying Lewis took like fucking 11 of the 12 of these things. I was like he was sad dabbing by the end of the episode Dude, he's like he's all mad about this kid. It's okay. He's got in his ass And I kept looking I was like why he's sad dabbing dude. He's hitting the sad dad. There's nothing worse, dude But I saw this video. So we're talking about this basketball game. You guys have set up Yep, and Lewis is very confident and he showed me this video from Skankfest and was like Canon and I think you know Feeny or something playing those three and yeah, they lost and it's a short clip like you don't see much But the one thing I noticed I think I owe it to the dab. I don't think I would have seen it without the dab

I'm watching it Lewis is playing defense and Feeny literally just goes left. He doesn't try a move. He Essentially just goes left Lewis just watches them and gives up and walks off. I didn't run it back Well, that could have been fat Lewis. I mean he was thick Lewis, but it was this is still thick Yeah, he's been working out since those skankfest like two years ago in New York. Yeah, maybe three. Yeah, I think it was Lewis is dedicated himself to turning his body into a player this morning grappling doesn't grappling doesn't translate the basketball Absolutely, it's like the opposite muscles. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's two-hand basketball shot There's zero percent chance Lewis. I

Would say If I were a betting man, if I used something like draft kings calm I might put his over under at point five. Would you really I would be shocked if he scores one point I'd be willing to really point five is the bet on Lewis. You can either bet zero I was gonna say is there gonna be betting on this cuz I mean, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, they'll be bets over on draw on the ankle Yeah, I got I got I played today. I praise a lot of my knees stayed together in shahua. How'd you feel after though? I feel fine. I did I've been going personal trainer. I'm getting jacked. Yeah, but how's Dave Smith is he can he play? We got two wildcards Tommy could be horse-feeding and is terrible or and Dave Smith could be

He was I think my name is gonna be good for I think it'll be good. He'll be gonna be very just in shape. We're good I'm saying exactly exactly. So he'll be good and he's an athlete. He's definitely an athlete So he might be our best player. Are you playing quarter or half half half and then to what 21 or 21 I said 21 They thought that was outlandish. Why they didn't play basketball Jay was like, do you know how long that's gonna take? It's like, yeah, dude. Yeah, this is we're playing hoops Hooping bro. It's gonna be worried about smokes. Give me a couple of Lucy's. He was coughing today By the third game he was he puts him away He puts on American spirits away quick and those things take like 20 minutes of smoke

They're fucking they take forever and he cranks them. Damn You need to lose. I was cranking some of those for a little cranking them six. Yeah, I got I got into a sick face I moved to New York. I was smoking cigarettes a little I remember that it's a nice thing at the counter because I wouldn't want to Dip at the clubs. True. You look like a fucking fool. Yeah So I and it's a nice way to leave the room and go outside So you're gonna hit with a convo someone's like, how do you do this? And that's the end of the calm. I can't help you I gotta catch you say nothing I gotta catch your hot snack give a flick

Jar a crap after the sick come into this come into the stands bathroom dump out loudly Walk out some guys like I'm a big fan. I got a smoke another thing. I'm like, sorry, dude I was just crapping. I was crapping for my sake. I was dropping craps Come to say as soon as you talked to anyone be like, yo, nice to meet you. Yo, I smoke I probably smoked like four six today. I keep smoking. I smoke like four six Yeah, within like one year of moving here. I was smoking cigarettes and doing cocaine like a cool guy. That happens That's no way to live. It's not it's not at all. I don't do that stuff anymore. That's it's good. You overcame your demons, dude It's good. You ever came your demons tonight. I've got it like a little naughty. I'm not doing any cocaine tonight

Yeah, all right, I will have a couple cold pills, but I have training in the fucking morning. What time do you do that at 11? It's too early for me. Yeah, what are you talking about? Yeah, it is pretty early. I gotta wake up and do fucking Crossfit work out. You gotta do this. It's up on Steinway. Okay. Yeah Is it out of gym or is it like you just go to park? It's a gym. It's it now You're rough Friday run around. I mean, by the way, if a guy was just like go running the park three days a week That would help me out tremendously, dude. He's just grifting you. He's like, I don't know Out of shape. I just tell him to lay down Dude, I say I was working at LA Fitness and I would just be like I was a wing at the whole time

Like we're gonna do push-ups like how many I'm like 20 to exhaustion. I always have 20 every time Bro, you hit me with push-ups to exhaustion yesterday. Dang Jesus like three sets. You should have fired back with modified I started modified drop the knees last one. I had to modify. Did you mind? I had to go to exhaustion So by the end. Yeah, true. You got sucked. I'd balled out on the first one. I got like 27. That's good And I was like nice place them push-ups. Yeah, then the next one was like I hit like a wall at like 10 My arm. I got shot so quick you exhaustion You should have just went straight modified from the very or just done like wall push-ups. Yeah down

Modified in regular yeah, I've been crushing CrossFit for years. I didn't know this guy was CrossFit. Oh, yeah How'd you find him? It's Tommy's guy Oh, he's gonna have you like deadlifting and shit. I've been deadlifting. Well, yeah, we're doing deadlifts We're gonna you're gonna be boxing out like a man. I'm gonna Bulldog those boys Dude, you're gonna cover. Are you taking Lewis? Lewis seems like the matchups pretty simple. We're gonna see no We're gonna see Smith probably we're gonna see who's the better defender between Matt and Tom true

I'll be nasty, bro. I'll take the left hand. I'll take the right hand Whoever it is, you can just come off Lewis and double to as soon as Dave drives Are you opening this up to the public like telling them where you're playing or no? No, no, I think what is the other public? Yeah, okay. Yeah, they don't like that. Yeah kind of backwards. We talking. It's a great gym. It's a nice indoor. Oh, it's indoors Yeah, it's a nice. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Lewis is gonna I guarantee Lewis has that spad shot He was the kid playing in jeans. We have Courtney. Yes, you don't have that like He's looking down dribbling and then he goes The best is a spash the kid with like long nails in the basketball team

Triple pump in the air Guaranteed like either between the legs or just behind the back pain. It's gonna get huge I'm thinking Tommy on Lewis. We'll be stripping the ball from Touch the ball. You don't think we'll ever get the ball He's a wide bro. He's a liability. He's that bad Like can Jay shoot from the outside About as well as I can which is like fucking one in seven. It's gonna be so you'll be in the pink Smith's gonna be their shooter and I'm gonna have a hand

I know nothing about the point because he was actually pretty Unconfident last night on his team Yeah That shows he actually knows that's worse. Yeah, the other two are very cocky. Oh When I ran that highlight real back for Lewis, he got sad now. I'll show you You're gonna be like we're in the money. Okay good Playing I was worried about I was worried about Jay playing a lot not saying he played bad and that I totally dominated him But yeah, we're good. Yeah, you first time I played in like 10 years. We're good. Yeah, you won't worry

I'm gonna play every Tuesday until then. Yep, Tony. I'll be hitting with the sky hook, bro Oh, yeah sky looks gonna be a thing. Yeah That's nice me and Jay both cannot leave the earth and I'm taller than him. I can stand and shoot that's it That's the game But yeah, I'll be I'll be here for the outfits. I might get us a uniform. I might purchase. Yeah, you have to get a uniform We could go monstars Or should we go to squad? Let's go monstars Yeah, you gotta go uniform they definitely sell they definitely sell monstars uniforms. Oh, we'll get them for sure

I'll warm up. We're coming out to hit them. Hi Hit them low. You remember that song? Oh, yeah, dude. I didn't said he would rough Karen's good. Well, he knows basketball. Yeah, so I know sick. He could definitely rock. Wow. It's gonna be a bloodbath I hope it's a bloodbath. It needs to be a bloodbath. I mean, absolutely. Are you uh make it take it? Yeah All right, there might be some complaints on that I mean, it doesn't matter. We won't it might be some complaints It should be make it take it. I'd like to play a little defense though. You know what I mean? I want to show you what's up. We don't want to run 21 straight. Yeah, I'd like to make it play some D

I wonder what's the spread on this? It's gotta be like five and a half Nah, I think we're gonna win by six. I would say I would say I hope so And then a game to 21, that's a quick face. Oh, dude, that if that happens that I'll see Dave He's probably like six one. Yeah, he's he's tall. He's tall. Is he tall? Yeah taller. He's not like I grew up My cousins are always six four, bro. Yeah. Yeah, you're scrappy on D to grew up on and but I won't fail I know how to play without being egregious like Hands up on Dave's this arm, dude. Try to like you come by this My arms me stiff you're gonna run into it and stiff arms

I'm just showing you like someone's gonna run into that and it's gonna it's not gonna look like a reach It's gonna look like a clothesline. No, I'm gonna play this and they're gonna go like that. I'm like, what the fuck, bro That's a charge like you have to start beating to the point where they get frustrated and turn on themselves in the middle That'll be We need to bump this up to a GZ a G each that's what I wanted I thought it was that and then lastly told me it was it was a thousand. I was like, what? We need a G. Yeah, G each and then we're gonna have to make Tommy practice. Yes, cuz I'm worried about that. Yeah He'll be it'll be doing it. I have faith in Tom. I'm gonna. Yeah, I think I'm gonna train with Lamar at the Y

Nice, I'm gonna play I got to play indoors like the courts near me or like all fucked up I don't want to adjust my shot. Don't you fuck? Yeah, well what you think whatever the game's playing on play on that hardwood Yeah, I might get but what are the odds? I destroy one of my legs leading up to the game. They're high Yeah, I might bet on something like that on something like a sporting Website like draft Kings through like draft Kings sportsbook. Tell me about that. Have you heard of it? Garth and Wayne's like, I just don't know Yeah, it's covered in not a Brian Be I didn't know you guys were doing these hold on dude in honor of the big game draft Kings sportsbook an

Official betting partner of the fucking Super Bowl 56 is giving new customers 56 to one odds on either team bro Bet just five bucks and you get 280 in free bets if your team wins dude Plus draft Kings sportsbook is now live in New York State. Mm-hmm. All right So sportsbook isn't in your state yet draft Kings did you can play draft Kings daily fantasy football? Yeah, that would you imagine it you imagine that fucking loser state they've got special contests for Super Bowl 56 and New customers can get a free shot at one million dollar top prize with their first deposit

That's a lot of scratch you could also it's probably a pretty good chance You get the mill if you sign up if you sign up We're not legally standing by pretty good Depends what you mean by You might get a million dollar if you fucking sign up for this under drenched promo code and win a million dollars You have to give me a mat some of that half I would say half where we get we put you we get 10% and then you have to pay the taxes on your part We're not gonna pay anything. We have to gift us the illegal amount before we have to pay taxes

Yes, multiple times then you pay and you pay our patreon tax also Me and Matt are going to jail I gotta read this verbatim. Oh, yeah download the draft Kings sportsbook app use promo code drenched and get 56 to one odds on either team bet just five dollars and get 280 in free bets That's promo code drenched at draft Kings sportsbook an official sports betting partner of Super Bowl 56 Here's it. Here's some of the legal jargon Brian 21 hey Matt, sorry Sorry, this is promo time. This is promo time hit it. You don't

Sean this is a Wapfart time Your red hairy ass at fart out of fight its way through that. Yeah fall through the jungle See draft Kings comm slash. Oh, no, I forgot this 21. You got to be 21 to minimum age Look location requirements vary by jurisdiction. Sorry youngsters. Sorry youth You shouldn't be listening this podcast anyway if you're on but you could enjoy some Lucy But you could have Lucy if you're over 18 years old or you could have your mom and dad call Lucy Oh and say hey my kids are a youngster and already addicted to nicotine. Can you send them some stuff? See draft Kings comm slash sportsbook for a full list of requirements at state specific responsible gaming resources

Voidware prohibited gambling problem call 1 800 gambler In Tennessee, call or text the Tennessee red line. That's 1 800 8 8 9 9 7 8 9 so if you're a listener this podcast who lives in Tennessee and has addicted to gambling All the Tennessee red line in Connecticut call 8 8 8 7 8 9 7 7 7 7 or visit ccp.org slash chat Just if you want to have a chat with some other Connecticut people. Yeah, dude They're also addicted to gambling in New York call 877 8 hope and why isn't that nice text?

Hope and why to four six seven three six nine. Yep. Thank you draft Kings. Thank you draft Kings We love you draft Kings. We love you 1 800. I hope I don't piss away my child That's kind of weird they use hope and it's hope dude that gambling addiction Gets people sometimes if they're not using the right app or you can have fun and use the right app That's draft Kings calm. You're not using the right app with the problem with gambling addictions when people use like Fandall, yeah, Fandall, that's a big addicted people. Oh, yeah, don't unless they want to start sponsoring us Only one live in New York. No, Fandall was live. Yeah, but Barstool is working on it. Yeah, I've heard Yeah, we listen to fucking prices, bro. Yeah, we listed those numbers though

That's what will stop everything from people, you know, if you get down on your luck Beezer call them hotline Don't double down. Don't double down. Oh, yeah, you've been betting. Yeah, I've been all right call the Tennessee hotline Where you been? I fucked up. Yeah, dude. You got done with NBA Super Bowl right now. I would take the Rams I took the Rams myself, but I'm still gonna be I did I put like one bet in I believe it's I think the Which McCall's yeah, you know, yeah, no, they're gonna win. Who who is it bangles? Yeah I Was gonna win on the under bangles and a win by three So the old Matt Parley we forgot to include this this was in the patreon which we accidentally read

Reads on we're gonna be talking to our river, but we're gonna get some money for that Matt's Matt's got a good parlay on DraftKings, which is the bangles getting for or no money line You got money like straight up. He's got bangles money line and the under under 48 and a half. Yeah, is that what it's at? Yeah, that's not bad. I like it. They could win defensive battle bangles are defensive teams, dude They got a good defense. Yeah, good. Yeah. I mean they're in the Super Bowl. They got a good defense You're safe to say they've got a solid day. What else do you like? What else do you like about them about the bangles? Who wouldn't where are the matchups you see what players do you have specific players on both teams? So the quarterback of the bangles

You like him. I think he's pretty young. He's young Joey B. Joey B's young You got to get the show's promise. Yes, sometimes young quarterback will surprise you in a big game like the Super Bowl 56 Super Bowl 56 Super Bowl 57 when's the last Super Bowl? No, it's Super Bowl 56 Yeah, who's the last quarterback that shocked you in a Super Bowl? You remember young Tom Brady in 2000. Oh, man. That was crazy. No way this guy can beat the Rams I was just gonna say that show enough Young TV who would have done TV 12. I have a lot to say about his retirement, but I won't take over guys time Who else you got I think so, yeah, that guy's gonna be do that young quarterback. He's a 10-shock Joe Burrow

Yeah, he's got a wide receiver. You'd like his name's Jamar Chase. He's pretty I've seen him. He's cool as hell Yeah, he's the coolest one. He's everybody thinks Joe Burrow is mr. Cool Yeah, I mean I hate when other people get the shine for being mr. Cool Eminem effect it is the Eminem effect a word, you know wearing a chain. Yeah, turtleneck. It's cool as hell I'm king of the good times not Joe Burrow heard that. I'm the king of the good times I heard it, but I do think do the secondary Secondary's gonna have a problem secondary the secondary What's on the bangles the secondaries they're gonna have their hands full with OBJ and Cooper cup

He's like Cooper cup a lot. I know white hope dude. Yeah, he's alright, but I'll go for Stanford dude I think that I think the bangles secondaries when I get it done against the you know Rams deep threat the Rams will have some impressive runs You check us out on trap kings Kings, baby, I do like your bet actually The under and the bangles money line if you hit this And if I hit it I'll get like $9,000 or something then they say they'll give me like you'll get a lot Well, no, that's just for why I think if you just pick the winning team, okay 56 to 1 odds. Oh cool, but I think yeah, I'm not gonna get into the terms sure

I don't get it. No, I don't want to have to go to get into don't go back in the league of our sponsor This podcast is brought to you by Lucy. Yes, and sports Sports, but the bangles nicotine. Yeah, dude. Um, I'll tell you what man. I Mean those are things I do love this is true. I'm addicted to sports, too Yeah, there's your passions, dude. There's our money. Don't don't let anyone wrong you for your passions No, no, actually, I was very happy and nice. Yeah Thank you guys for everybody being happy and nice Brian. What's going on with your sex life?

Let's let's get in there. Let's delve into your penis. Yeah. What's going good hotel tonight? I'm pumped for that You're gonna lay to be gonna lay the pipe I'm gonna try to yeah, what's what's your what's the art of seduction? Okay? We've been through this Last time he was on a grill them about second. No, please tell us how I used to do. Oh, yeah. What's dude? I don't have to I if you're in a relationship over three years. I don't you don't need to seduce Oh, yes, you must do you must turn up your something wrong. No, no, you must turn your seduction up at that point Yeah, you can't just constantly take the pussies No, it's almost like writing jokes when you start out you're writing every single word and now it's down to like one or two words

Yeah, like ten minutes. That's me. I'm like with a look You go like that to your lady You got me all wet How do you stoke the coals, dude? Tonight might be tough because well, she's gonna be a lot of booze tonight. Yeah, and it's like the Beezer's penis is gonna be off She's gonna be offline Ari might be shutting it down for me which sucks What do you mean because she works for him? So like she's doing shit at the show like you know what I mean?

So she wants to be on point. I can't you can't be fingering. That's the perfect time That's the perfect time those and you can go by and be like, I'm your true master. Yeah I can say bitch you better start Go You should make it a point like every couple seconds is just like walk by here and just like kiss her neck aggressively I might stand out on stage when Ari's up there. That would be so nice rush the stage pull Ari off the stage. Dude, I'll jam You should start every time I see you and Kyla the affection, I'm very happy good I go I know it's very fun. Yeah, I will try I will try a big J. R

Doing that, but he's too far back. I'm like, hey Yeah Grab his penis. I did I I Crabb's world a youngster in Indianapolis, there's a boy in his paw at the show. No, I just relentlessly talked about his dad having sex Why and he didn't like it? Well, he was he was out of the room So I'm talking shop with the old man being like, you know how it is, bro And the Sun walks in and I go. Oh, sorry. I was just talking. I was just talking about your dad having sex with your mom

What age we talking? He's probably college age. Maybe you got to get over it That's what I was saying, but he wanted earmuffs, dude The boy wanted earmuffs and I'm like, dude, your dad better be thrashing, dude Good looking power. No, I would I would say the man was a good looking. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say, you know I'm not gonna trash the man's looks on live air Yes, either mom. I should have asked to see a pic. Yeah. Yeah, just one pic Well, the worst part was I kept hammering on this and they you know, they obviously were uncomfortable and there was like a little They got a little worm being like

Man, he's not alive and they're being the nicest people ever Fuck her ass. Well, I did leave out a little wiggle room. I was like, I was like, I should be like what? colon cancer actually I started thinking about that and I was like But I did say well, I don't know your guys a situation. So I was ready for them to be like, yeah She's done. Okay, my which would have been great. I know it would have been very funny True. I ran into some buzz saws this weekend. Did you really? Oh my god. What'd you get worst show? I've had in about five years at the stand the stand upstairs the stands great by the way. Yeah stands great

I love the stand worst show. I've had in Bro, it was upstairs. So it's in that glass. Yeah fucking wall the restaurants loud The room was just white girls in their 20s They didn't stop talking Start to finish dude. I got on they were all at different tables talking to each other. Yeah, I got on I was like Okay, like fuck do we do why are we doing this? Why would I be here? It was that loud? Dude, they did they hated my fucking guts start to finish didn't laugh once Talked to the whole time at one point the check spot happened. So three waiters come in just start giving everybody their checks their women

So, you know how like when we go out somebody will be like I got this. Yeah When girls go shame we're dividing who got this who's doing this I'll Venmo you it's like well Don't you have cash means you man? Yeah, dude. Oh brutal nightmare So every table is having a girl fight over the tab girls at that point start getting up going to the bet like five different girls Got up. Jesus, dude. I was literally just stand at one point. I stood I saw the timer I stood for 30 seconds in silence the room kept talking Do you think that's the worst set I've ever had? Why do you think is you think that's because girls are inherently greedy or because they don't know how to do math?

In the check up one of the check comes they're all like, oh, you want to do it? Usually a man is here to pay it and figure out the fucking Tip all that. Oh, man. They it was Also, I didn't it's always a fight. It's always a fight. I didn't care enough to fight them Yeah, go up there and be like you fucking dumb bitches don't even get how cool I am Yeah, which normally I would do which is very cool upstairs though. I think upstairs Oh, yeah, but also there that was the worst I that was the worst I've ever had up there and that's saying something But I didn't have any fight. I literally stood there

The guy gave me the light. I was like get in here. I'm getting the fuck off the stage Uh Yeah, I didn't have any fight to try to get out of it It was a it was sad. So then I go to the cellar and a guy There's a booth like from me to that cup like it's close from the stage They're getting kicked out Then a minute later, there's more people at the booth getting kicked out same booth This is all during one set then a guy the guy that got kicked out first ran back inside to chug his drinks

And I was like, what's happening now because I would get the crowd It was good. Yeah, I'd lose them and like be like, oh fuck it's this how many people at this fucking table Kick this whole table out. What it was a table that got slowly kicked out one by one Then one guy came back and chugged his drinks and I was like, all right I actually I do respect that he's like while people are like pulling your arm like sir sir Sir you have to leave that's actually kind of a segment. Yeah, I had some rough ones. Yeah, man Lady threw up the other night This weekend another show lady threw up in the room at the cellar at the cellar stunk the whole fuck

How close was she to the stage far as far as possible, which was even worse because you don't know where it came from and you can't see Did you hear it? No, you can hear some you heard some gasps Damn Cellar comedian I can relate it's gonna be tough. Let me tell you something about being a cellar comic Ain't nothing better in the world ain't nothing sweeter in the world dude last night I got off of this dude It went wow and this one guy walks up to me and he was like he's like hey Brian come here man And I was like, all right. Yeah, obviously work there. We went to this back booth. He's like, yeah, I was like, all right I said that I was like, he's like

SIX yeah, I'm gonna get paid. I'm gonna get out of here. I was like, oh, thanks so much I thought he was gonna be like, that was really good. Yeah That's hilarious. Yeah, it's always a bummer. But whatever. Yeah, I had a good old time man. You're having fun Yeah, I was teasing the indianian. I remember those days, dude back when I was just a youngster now. I'm a grizzled that What do you like about the Lantern or the others the cellar? Underground on the ground village underground is more like a road room. Yeah, it's a big room So you can really do well in there, but the classic the cellar. Yeah, I mean, that's a small packed room That's what that's what us comics like to call a kill box

All right, that's where our job Now hold on we take you down to the kill box and lead you on a spooky journey You know and you have to confront some truths that you didn't think you were gonna have to and that's what I like to do Did you see the M&M ride on the Peloton? No, dude. What did you do it? Oh, yes, I did. Have you seen my Peloton? What you guys have you checked my check dude my personal trainer makes me do it every other fucking day now You've been killing. What's this? I hit the peli M&M dude They do artist spotlights on Peloton and this dude goes on and gives a speech like that every song

He's like and this is M&M's raw talent ambition. Was he perfect? No, but that's how a guy grows Let's go Peloton team and they do it so go ahead and kick that resistance up to 40 And then in the background like It's an M&M song the whole time. Yeah, he's dancing the whole time. He's like It's the funniest. It's the best There's one girl with like a big afro Smiles the whole time I fall in love with her such a sweet angel every time. What's all I don't know one time She was doing like fucking

EDM nice. I just fell in love dude. Yeah, the girls are tough on there I try girls are a dick. They smile at you the whole time. They're like, let's go Yeah, they start dancing. They all dance. Do they all dance while you're on it? Yeah I did to the M&M. I danced on the M&M. What'd you do? Yeah, I was having such I was just copying the dude. The dude was dude. It was so funny. I'm sure it's on the peli Yes, I did. I was getting the girl like this every time they start dancing. I go I Did that first and the guy I'm telling you lose yourself on the M&M Take it easy Stan

Tony you'll lose yourself dude. I can imagine I used to love M&M Are you psyched for the halftime show? Can't wait for that. Is he on the halftime show? Dude the halftime show is Jemar, Dre, Snoop, Mary J, Auntie Mary Auntie Mary will be good. It's a good halftime show. Me and Brian listen to Mary J constantly. I love Mary J We call her Auntie Mary if you're like really down. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's racist. Yeah, that's pretty racist Okay, take strike that from the record Matt was being racist. Fair enough. Edit that out Actually edit exactly where he said we call her this Put a bleed there

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HappyCampers.com now that wasn't even one we're getting paid for that was Hopefully that's legal sorry if it's not That's great. That's a good ad yeah, it's great at it's good at my own brother twisted a knife in my back on the ad read Yeah, what's going on? Oh, oh, did you know he said that I know yeah Were you included in that? He was tell you I saw you send me the email. I was hoping he didn't I was excited when I saw it I was like this would be funny. I giggled. I read it. I would have giggled it was funny very funny Also, that's not a really he needs to know his audience This audience would give an arm and a leg for you to come over and talk ancient aliens for 45 and I could I would too

I could know you could you don't think I could talk please talk ancient aliens right now for 45 minutes Not 45, but I'd like to hear some what are you thinking? I mean first thing I go to is the mine pyramids with the guy in the the guy carving Clearly in a fucking rocket is that the one that uh the Greek dude has the pin of no He has a pin of like just an airplane that somebody drew maybe I didn't I never seen that one There's like a carving of a fucking jet that one of them made I didn't see that I'm big into the guy at the mine thing to sitting like that. What's his name George George Sucalus That's it. That's the son of the guy from NBC George big loose

There's George Duke loose and there's George Sucalus European juggler. Oh, yeah, dude. You're George. Oh, yeah, Sucalus Is the son of reporter George? Yeah, that's it. What is that bro That's on the on the minds Yeah, what are the odds? This is him and David de Coveney. Yeah, David de Coveney knows all about fucking aliens, dude Yeah, he did a X-files. Oh, yeah, the truth is out. Yeah, it's Fox dude and sex and there you go. David de Coveney is a sex addict. Yeah Who's that?

Fox in his old days, dude. Yeah, I mean you lose fucking rules. Does ancient aliens get into the Anunnaki? I never watched I'm not sure that we're just here to mine gold They might have yeah, they definitely have they might have but they seem like random episodes, but I never watched it It's actually a pretty fun show. Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you like genuinely believe there was a labor labor Labor and I worked for my dad. I work for the laborers in comedy There's a union laborer We would sit and talk about ancient aliens as a matter of fact and both be like I yeah and another thing Yeah, I'll talk about it like people talk about the Democratic Party. That's what it was. That's what it should have been

That's what it still should be, dude. Yeah, we should be sitting down and talking ancient aliens every time instead of like Fucking coven. It was a path. I think that was the first time coven was mentioned. What here? Yeah, you know, I mean we dropped that that was yesterday's cheese, dude Is that just alone what ancient aliens? Yeah, they still yeah, they run it. Okay. Yeah, you bet. Yeah, they're like cops Are they bringing out new ones though? I don't know. I don't know. That's what I meant. Sorry. I'm at the side They do a new episode. Oh, you I don't know. I mean, I think I know this it's all of the history channels programming now Yeah, yeah MTV's 18 came out damn

Nice Hmm, I'm gonna have to get in on that dude. I watching your battle bots. That's shit actually. Oh, yeah You were battle but your big battle rules, dude. What happened? Who's the contenders? I mean a lot of them. They've they've adopted the wedge technology So almost all of them have a wedge for the most part. There's there's obviously there's some obviously Yeah, there's a couple ones that go by you know, yeah, I'm spider. It's just some fucking yeah Thing that a wedge just murders right away a wedge with a either they have a wedge with a flip-up thing Yeah, yeah, they have like a pincer that comes yeah grabs people. Yeah, bro

It was something here comes out the top like like that. I've seen those What do you like better? What's better in those fights? I like a nice pincher This is beans leading the interview. Yeah Well, I'm curious about this up because I was watching it when it first came out and then didn't it take it Remember when it came I believe you're right probably I remember when it came out There were two things as a young man that I was stoked on battle bots intro when that was introduced to the world I was like, this is it. This is as cool as it gets an XFL. You remember opening opening game of XFL Opening day battle bots. I was so stoked and then you start watching it. Even as a kid. I was like these guys suck

Like what grade watching XFL like battle. I would not have thought battle bots would have outlasted XFL. I Thought XFL was just came back a year or two ago. Yeah during the pandemic. They're like, we're back, baby Oh, yeah, there's a global pandemic. Fuck. We're banker up to get God will not let it. Maybe that's what heaven is, dude It felt just works That's heaven. It might get up there because God won't let us have it on this plane. No, what are you doing on your last night? What are you putting on your jersey? Do you get to pick? Oh XFL jersey Matt would have a fuck out sick one mine would be dr. Adolf sponge

You're taking it up. I would take if right now I had to come up with a name dr. Adolf sponge on the back of a jersey Oh, wait, what was mine just a second ago? We had a funny one. Oh you what your your name would be yeah problem child obviously well problem child is classic Yeah, problem child is a classic. Fuck. There's just a name. I Promise in the patreon. We started one. I was in my head. I was like, I kind of hope that one. Oh, Easter ham Easter ham, dude Easter ham. Yeah, that was Easter ham. It'll be nice Easter dinner. What would you go?

gravy gravy You'd be running dude, I'd lead block for the the gravy coming in behind me going over the top For the G train the gravy G train is nice G train. You should go by Brian. I'd go by nightmare dude. I'd still no that's shane. That's shane Or dude, that is a good one dude. That's a good XFL name. No, that's probably somebody's alright. It's like a kicker's Could be what would yours be? Oh, I think that I found myself a beezer now. No, I can't remember I Can't remember I used to know a lot right there

And I used to know a lot of them because they were fucking hilarious No, XFL like their names It was obviously that was the one that was a hot sauce. I Can't remember there was so many fun hot sauce is pretty good and we should go by the addy daddy Addy daddy would be nice. Yeah, dude. That'd be good. That's pretty sick DMT truck I Smoking DMT now. I haven't in a while. Yeah, but you were hitting that thing like six It's leaving this room. Yeah, you should get I'm still never I never broke you should do time. I'm release

Time release extended release about 30 35 milligram extended release Well, huge you're obviously huge. No, I'm gums You know gums You jurors huge or be sweet Yeah, that's gonna be nasty bees. What's on the horizon? What the hell? What the hell you cooking up here? Nothing. You fucked it. Yeah If you got a cat. Oh nice That should be interesting. I mean, I don't know that guy. You got Bobcat. Yeah

Sick, I'll be tight. Yeah, it'll be good. And then next go in the hell on the 23rd. Say Norman at the bell Well, Louis tell us about it. Tell us about you. What the hell? These guys don't mark. Yeah Helium and Philly. We did the last months which you guys were on and yeah, Josh out of miles. Yeah, it was really great And this month is now Louis Amiko Racine Sydney bodily and Taking a chance on young guard here. Oh, wow guard dog. You're in there. Yeah, that's gonna be awesome Microsene good. Microsene is so funny. Yeah. Yeah, it's so good. I have the only thing I had I have

Providence which is all sold out And then I have Salt Lake with Matt which is all sold out can't come But and then March 3rd. This is the one I need to sell March 3rd 4th and 5th West Niaq levity live I was just there last night with big Louis CK. Oh, yeah, they go and I'll be there tomorrow with big Louis CK Nice, it was great. Nice. It was great. It's cool. It's cool to be pals with him. That's a that's a levity live Yeah, that place looks really good. Oh, I didn't even talk about I did cool shows with Dave Chappelle this week Oh, what was that at the stand and then two days later? I was doing cool shows with Louis CK Dude, I said wow. What a great audience. Wow. What a great show

Chappelle show. It's a very funny difference between Chappelle's crowd at the stand was all like hot cool people. Yeah, I was like the lone honk Does he always changes the red lights? That's only at the end. Okay Yeah, that's just a party where me sweet me and Dave chill Yeah, I got a little rowdy. Yeah, I got a rowdy party. I didn't get ready. I didn't get rowdy. No, not you Yeah I followed up the headliner at the club. I was like, yeah, let me take it down

He's like, yeah, go ahead man. He'd been in there for like a half an hour. I was like, I asked him Oh, that's the worst I was like, yo, do you mind if a humble comedian takes a dump? And he was just like, oh, yeah, go ahead, bro I went in there and I was like, it was awful because he'd been in there for a while. He had crapped Well, I sometimes your headliners. I get it. I'll have to look at the thing I genuinely fit the dude's name. It's cool dude. Who's this good guy? Look up who was at Indianapolis, bro. That's that's an easy fart attack then you dude Dude, I thought I'm trying to get me when I was on stage out there one time. Oh, yeah

I cracked the door while Beesha was on stage and hit a hard fart. Yeah, you can you can fart attack something I hit you with a hard fart at Arlington. That was awesome. I went behind the curtain. That was good Or did you do that? You did that. All right. Yeah, you hit while you're on while man was on I went behind I walked because there's a curtain. So you I was close to him right behind the curtain And Did you just farted the guy in the audience? I thought it was yeah, I was playing straight Did I threw that far? You're the fan of the opera. I was a fan of this There is Todd McComis

Tom McComis I went back there and I'm like I was well before he's gonna go on I'm like, is this like one of those headliners that like sits in the bath some of the headliners like sit in the bathroom It's like a half an hour. Todd McComis dropping logs. I'm telling you man. I went in there He's like, yeah, absolutely. I came right back out. I was like, bro I Come I was like, bro. I can't follow you, bro. I was like Nice you murdered dude. It's I was like, I can't I can't go in there. It's so fucked up in there He was like, I'm real. Sorry, bro. I tried to tell you but I was like that's no, you should that's you did what you should have done

Oh, like that's your room. Do you fucking it smelled so bad. I let it the toilet after after his show before before He like I was like you went to the main room green room to crap take a dump I was like is it the green rooms nowhere near the bathrooms way far? Yeah, the end of the way. I was like, I might have a dump real quick humble request He's like, yeah, I was waiting on him and I was like fucking I went back out came back later He was just coming out. I'm like mind if I don't what a power move dude So you asked him can I use the bathroom when he said hold on? I'm gonna. No, no, no He was already in there in your bathroom. So I knocked he's like

And then I just left and I hate that such I hate knocking on the door below the bathroom So I ran away and then you took a how long would you say he was in there for like a half a fucking hour? He dropped him fucking here there for a minute. That's nice. Good for you. That's 30 minutes before a show just in there We're getting close to my show. So I'm gonna have to crap here shortly. Good. I'm gonna see if I can follow you up in there You know, I couldn't stay. I was like usually I can take you know, I'm like a pretty big bathroom, too It's not like a small green room bathroom. No, but it was a good size bathroom, dude It was I mean the notes were it wasn't as earthy. You you might have a this was like Floral and kind of fruity it was fucked

Spray to hide it. No, it was not a spray. This was like I was eating fucking fruity stuff This this was he must have he was eating like a native American He's gonna beat your ass. No, he dude. It's it's Macomas is coming for your ass. I told him it was a powerful move I'm like, that's good. I have a Macomas I have no problem with you. What's this? What is this thing? Why is he a known comic? Movie or TV show or just he's a road dog. I don't know. I know he's a comic. I know he's a hitting turds like that It's a market for dogs. He was either trooper. He was either trooper

Trooper a cop or something. Whoa, you're in trouble. Yeah, dude Yeah, dude Follow people up and as soon as I get to dumping it just cancels out. Yeah, I was like I can't disturb this. I this whatever is going on in here. This has to just waft out Who's also a devil dog who dr. Adolf sponge, dude, really that guy drops dumps that Living rooms. He'll crap in there and clear this room and then I'll come out and everybody like dude. It stinks. He's like what? This was localized. I got a good doctor sponge doctor sponge yesterday was showering Tommy's out here cleaning before their podcast and in the shower you go turn off the faucet

Me and Tom were in here. No one was using the faucet. He gets out of shower. He's like, I'm in there for five fucking minutes You can't you gotta do the dishes while I'm in there and Tom was like I didn't do that He's like shame back me up on this. I was like Chris. He did not do that Chris was like, yes, you did Well, you know, it's the most insane thing I've ever seen Dude two guys were like neither of us used to sink. So if you turn on it, yeah, yeah, just be like, oh I the water kicked out for a second. I thought you guys were yeah, bro. He went into the kitchen was like looking at the dishes He was like this cup was moved Dr. Adolf is wild. That's actually why do you call him that? That's just a funny name. Oh, no, there's no meaning

Yeah, you can drop them. Dr. Adolf sponge can hit. He's the hardest umpire of our friends. Oh my god without a doubt Really stankiest, dude Who would have thought Yeah, you wouldn't guess O'Connor's a man of mystery did true. He like he comes off as like he looks like he's got his shit together The worst dumps hardest dumps possible Yeah, dude, this was like it wasn't like one of those like wafters out into the hallway I thought I was in the clear you go in it was kind of faint. You know, I was like, I'm like, did he even dump it? Yeah, I took two more I went. Oh, I think he did and then I get like it was like a funnel spider

I just what lured me further and further in I kept taking bigger steps. I'm like, it's actually really fucked up in here Not he he was like a crap out. What do you say? He was like, I'm like don't apologize, bro You did what you had to do. I was like, I congratulated him. I'm like, you did what you absolutely needed to do He's eating that fucking helium food. Yeah, dude You have a couple brusquies. You're eating fucking the buffalo but next thing you know, you're dropping a fucking giant horse I Couldn't find any fuel out there. There was no fuel. That's all that was all decadent food in Indianapolis Zero fuel in Indianapolis. Did you go exploring? I want to try to find food. I was like 10 degrees

I would get food. Yeah, it's all they have all the indoor like there's all like walls walls, dude. Yeah, I Was up in those malls. Yeah last time I was there. I got lucky me bees and the doctor went to March Madness Oh, yeah, that was pretty sick That was great. You gotta get into sports for the road. It makes the road fucking rule Especially for dumping you get to go cool cool sporting event during the day. I'm I'm I'll never I've tried like several times like This is the time. I'm like, I this is how I always thought like at some point people have to make a conscious effort to enjoy sports I've tried doing it multiple times and I'm like really well Going to a live event. Oh god. I want to leave so bad. Yeah, so long dude

So I wanted the sixers. We had fun at the sixers games. Yeah, we had fun. We were pounding around. That's fun But it's like yeah, think if that was think if that was a noon game and you had a Saturday night show I'd want to go home to the hotel The hotel is nice. We always do that in between show. Yeah crap. Then you go show Um a crap. No problem. Yeah, you go to something cool. You go home and crap beat Oh, I have no problem crapping and all that stuff. Fuck. There's not a time for a nap. I gotta take a shit and back off I didn't beat I didn't beat whatsoever. That's my number one thing is when me and Sydney Get a room. I'll just share the room. We share a room. So always worried. Yeah, whenever we check in

I feel like people think we're a gay couple first off the bat we get in and I'm like Hey, uh, yeah, we got here show here. No funny business here. This is oh every time I'm like, I don't say anything But in my head, I'm like And we come out of the room together. I'm always like, oh, let's go down here and see and Sid's not want to not Be quiet about your physique probably the entire time. Yeah, well, we'll talk. You're looking good, man. He'll be stretching He's a big fanny pack guy Yes, that was the main He's jacked in as a mustache. Yep

Dude, it's it killed it haunts me the whole entire weekend We're just coming out that we check in and I'm like two queens. Yeah, that's what that's what you are Damn, dude This is the two queens top It's the two queens, dude We don't but nobody fast I keep I keep a strict no fat policy on the road You have to but then I imagine dude Me bees are and the doctor sponge on the road, dude

There's nothing but dude just the most devious man on earth Think about how the turd was created now. You have a no fat. He went above and beyond It would anyone be like the good doctor making some phone calls He had some house calls. He had some house calls. He was handling business. He had a house call Now this is while I was down in the lobby eating gravy out of a fucking ladle It was the gravy drink we were telling the kid to stalk that girl He's like, she's a really light. I was like, you just go to her house, dude

Get in that window kill that girl. The road will get you, dude The road will get you Temp this is temptation temptation every the second get in the hotel room. It's horny time. That hotel's nice though, nindy Oh, yeah, well, they did fucking construction all day. I woke up at nine o'clock to just They've been doing that for like two years, dude. It was just it was in a room It was I couldn't find where it was. I walked throughout the hotel Just, you know, I went to the gym and I would still hear it. I'm like, dude, this is everywhere Dude, the covid hotels were great doing the road during covid. It was so nice. Now the shows sucked because yeah, no one would show up

Dude, that was tough. That's st. Louis helium. Were you there with me? Dude, that was all my birthday. You made the eight people on the Sunday show sing happy birthday to me It was like we had that we had that one one waiter fought me Oh, because I was I was making dark jokes on uh on june 10th Oh, yeah, yeah, you attached you dude. Yeah, we thought he was joking. You look fucking jacked in that thing That's what I woke up. He went on for eight hours. Holy shit Yeah, picture you I was a video. I sent the britney. I know but I would like to see you It's me in a turtleneck. Oh, fuck. Let me get all the way back here

Hey, oh, you got the seller pics. I met the bro. No, this was oh, this is after the show Bro, I got it. Did I send you that pic of you at the seller killing? Yeah fucking gnarly That's that cops fucking stink rubbing off You look like a marine, dude But yeah, dude, we uh, I met the dudes who attacked the uh, oh my god, they came to the show When you said that he's I forgot he was a giant dude huge What the bros that attacked uh, jason ellis's podcast? Oh, it's the fucking our saboteur our assassin

Dude, you know, shut the fuck up. Hey Hey Shut up. Shut the fuck up. What did you sign my life? Just fucking be funny Dude right up to a lipo. It was the craziest shit in the world. Nothing below for jason ellis by the way. Oh for sure That was just more so. Yeah, that's why it was at lewis. Yeah, it was all the bro Oh, it wasn't just jason ellis. It was all the boys. That's important to to to make sure people we wouldn't do that to jason We wouldn't just do that to somebody we didn't know. Yeah, if it was our boys up there

Yes, I would send an assassin it you fucked it. Yeah, they could all catch an assassin So fucking funny. An assassin is as funny as yeah, that's hilarious unless it's us up there Then you better not do it Sodor up there too. Yeah Sodor Sodor was he was a bird dog. His eyebrow was like Sodor, dude. Who's there daggers? I it's Yeah, he was he was he wasn't really he wasn't sold. That was a real thing Okay, lewis launched an action immediately. Of course. What the fuck? That'd be sick to hire like a black waters team to just like pull them all off stage

Take them outside and let's call it game from soldiers That's the true assassin. That's an assassin. He'll come fucking take you out. He took weight off Um, I can't wait till russia collapses, dude. Russia is gonna china is gonna collapse. Adam kurtestock. He called it So it's paper tiger and the whole population's old now and dude, that's our population is pretty old too That's fine. We're gonna be all right. It will be we will be fine. But we got to start killing them off though Who the geysers we need more covet Yeah, it's gonna be tough. Shane. It's interesting because they drive a lot of our economy those geysers geysers Yeah, man, we're gonna we're gonna hit a the 2020s

We're gonna hit like a pretty hard inflation interest rates are growing up and we're gonna have some pretty high taxation 50 year economic cycles So we got to do the opposite of Reaganomics basically because we're gonna double down on Reaganomics It's gonna make everything worse and then we have to do the opposite I mean, just you'll see check me out in 2030 2030 after that. We're good. Yeah, everything's good. Yeah That that's can't be correct. Dude. It's 50 year cycles. Look back at it on history If you look throughout history, there's never been a time where all right now. We're good in 30 or 10 years Mm-hmm

It's retarded to be like, okay in 10 years. We're good. Not good forever. We're good for another Let's say a little packs romana 30 40 years And then we'll have whatever we use to get us out of this problem. We'll cause us a new problem We'll have to switch, you know, figure. Yeah, that's that seems pretty simple. Yeah, exactly. It's favorite 50 years Yeah, so but it's gonna it's gonna be nice, dude when people start carving up china People start carving up Russia. Oh, that's gonna be good stuff, dude. That's gonna be immense loss of life. Oh, it'll be for sure Eastern Europe's gonna. Oh, that's the other thing. That's sick, too France and uh, Germany

Really, they're not gonna back us. They're not gonna back us as we kind of aggress Europe Poland will and that is Eastern Eastern European countries will they'll be handsomely rewarded France and fucking Germany So Eastern Europe's gonna get the xboxes as they're fucking Christmas gifts. Yes, France and Germany You'll still be a thing. We'll get you guys a little game cube If that you guys are still gonna get they're gonna get cold, dude Because we're always gonna give you stuff. They're gonna they're they got this is what the guy predicts It'll be funny because I'm I'm excited for being like 50 and being like, well, it's actually nothing

But it's like, dude It'll be tight if Eastern Europe starts to be like almost like, you know, they'll still have a lot of power Uh, Western Western Europe, but if they have to start contending with Eastern Europe, that's very funny Poland, dude, just fucking Poland could run a train, you know, you need to shut the fuck up. Prussia used to run a train Yeah, bro. That's pretty much Eastern Yeah, it's Eastern Germany. Yeah, it'll be interesting Wow, I mean, dude, you're telling me. Wow. I'm on the edge of my seat right now

You gotta play total war, dude You want to see what I think now I could see what 50 years looks like play a little I think now I'm able to do it now that I totally understand like geopolitical fault. I roam to play Attila You get to bring back you get to you can download Charlemagne that campaign. What? dude That's what I do and I become the Saxons and I and I take over England I go into England once the Romans start leaving England. I say now's my time to move in now's my time Yeah, for sure

Okay, speaking of time. Yeah, that's the end of the podcast. Oh also go to bananas. Uh, oh, yeah North Jersey and I added a new show to Austin Friday Baby I think I think helium's about done giving you the fuck it's big boy rooms dude. Yeah, I'm done. I'm finishing up little boys Does cap city have a small room? They have a little they have a new place. Yeah, it is This will be the cap. Austin will be the end of the little boy tour, dude Little boy little room tour. They're pretty sick. The little boy tour lasted It was six three shows. It was that's nothing, baby. Oh, no, that was yeah when I started that's great

It was fun. They put you in there. They're like, we'll see what the kid can do Turns out he sells out bro Sells out a little I might do the little boys forever. Just like five shows start at 2 p.m You should start wearing turtlenecks. I did I wore turtleneck all in indianapolis the whole time Maybe that's on stage picture. It's probably where I got that idea. But if you hosted a 2 p.m show In a turtleneck and they just go over like here's the future I told you I was done and then I was like, oh, fuck. I think I fucked up my time And then I was just like nope. I'm still going and I went for another late time

That's when I called you after the worst show I've ever had. Yeah And you were like, I just got off stage earlier. I was like, holy shit, dude. I've never done that But I got right back on That's great. Dude. It's a mr. R. Leaving the stage would be like that's it for me. You left the stage. I thought I was done I didn't I didn't start my watch I didn't start my watch and the dude was like hit me with the light and I was like Maybe I'm done and all of a sudden when I went and I was like, I'm done I went to get off and the guy was like gave me a weird look that was because I was gonna have sin come up and

Fuck around. I didn't yeah, she gave me a weird look and I was like the two queens were gonna riff two queens We riffed dude. I know the queen's riff. We riffed dude. I know the queen's right at the end of the show gossip. Yeah We gossiped out there dude because we did a little bit of relational aggression against the crowd dude It was sick. I'd like to see start threatening people you two in city on stage. He was very funny He was sitting was ripping bro. We had a good refer my top my top thing right away as I came out and immediately accused all of them I'm joining the Ku Klux Klan. Nice. I made very people very uncomfortable in here, bro Yeah, no, I was like, I heard you guys have a big thing about that in there. They're good sports. I'll give them that Yeah, they paid tickets to see but sometimes those crowds get weird you bring up stuff like that

Of course, there was a dude. It's classic. What do you guys do for fun around here? We're not joining the Ku Klux Klan Yeah, you guys better not be in the clan or I'm leaving. Oh, yeah Who here is in the clan? All right guys, let's get out. I have to go do a comedy show