Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 392 - Suss Al (feat. LeMaire Lee, Andy Malafarina, and mystery guest))

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Lemaire & Andy @ patreon.com/pitm Yooooo. The big kahuna is in Gash ville. So naturally Mathew held it down. With fellow Philly's funniest champ MURDA. Plus the p*nty boys lamar joe and andy. Please enjoy.  Support the show and get up to 34% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRENCHED at https://displate.com/mssp?art=6247403451297 Support the show and get your $15 a month wireless plan at https://MintMobile.com/Drenched  

Welcome welcome to Matt and Shane's Lamar Andy. We got motherfucking Murdoch in the tomb murder Murdoch Yo, yeah, Shane is in Gashville right now. Actually, so It's an old rainy day in Philadelphia him and Nate ran off him and Nate ran off. There's stuff going on right now Bonnie and Clyde over in I always hear rumors dude. Everyone's always like all the podcast is breaking up. It's yeah, it is Shane and Nate just started their own thing And he's broke up Matt and Shane after the panties in your mouth And we got murder Murdoch in the motherfucking building all the rumors are true. Everything you ever read online. Yeah, it's true It's called Matt in your mouth now

That is a bit of an upgrade I'll go for that good trade Oh, it's okay Yeah, we're fine. It's going right to the card Oh Here's a good producer Danny Dubs That guy's fucking skilled Let's not get person Panties in the mouth dude pretend we're doing panties in the mouth

Let me let me in murder Murdoch just sit in on what you guys usually do. I heard you guys get the guest highs fuck Nate's been doing that. Yeah, cuz we got move. We got Alex grubar on he does he's eating at the pothead Yeah, he does we not the stone so Nate was like testing his pothead abilities. Yeah, it was getting them too high With all of his gadgets Nate's like weed gadget man. Yeah, I believe it We say he's smoking in like 20 30 Cuz like everything he has to smoke with like everyone I see at like the clubs or whatever They'll like grab it and then they'll pause for a second. They'll be like is this right? Is that all I'm supposed to because like no one knows what the fuck. Yeah, he's like a bit. Is he a big dab guy?

Electric dabs He won't yeah, he won't smoke him out of that like mousetrap crack pipe that everyone uses He's like I got a throat in my T1000 And fucking smoke it through Bluetooth. So he's been getting everyone high on the T1000 They just run it naked getting hot you don't you don't really smoke weed No, I'm like very rarely at the end of the day watching a movie. He partakes Yeah, but you realize you're sitting in a room full of people ripping electro I get a good e-contact like hard get the Wi-Fi

Also welcome murder Murdoch Murdoch in the tomb. Yeah, just chilling. Yeah hanging tough dude Murdoch Dude, I was pumped to bring you on. Oh raining champion by the way. Oh, thank you. He's funny. Thank you. Yeah 2022 Pay some fucking respect Murdoch. Welcome to the fucking winner. Thank you 2021. Yeah. Oh, they didn't do 2022 yet Yeah, who do you think who do you got winning in 2022? Hmm you think a girl will win. I mean, there's nothing weird about them. Are you allowed to enter as the king of Philly? Josh cash please second You think Jay gosh, what do you think? What do you think took you to the next level to where you secured the throne? Was there a moment you're like I fucking totally secured the throne or like what were you thinking?

I think every moment up there. I mean, I mean, you know, you were supreme. Yeah Yeah, I had everything kind of organized and one thing after another a lot of a lot of jokes One after the other as much as I can fit in the set, you know, true a lot of stuff Why don't you try to be the first two-time winner true? No, you can't what if you trans? serious question Dude, oh, wow. That's it. Yeah, that's it hack to get into the second time really this time I'm trans and then if you know same person if you go through same spirit

Yeah, but no, but you're dead name one That's a race from history. They can't go in the second time is Jennifer and then the third time you guys be like a furry And I'm like, what are the furry terms for Sona? Yeah, or just you know the third time of being animal can you be that's what it is Trying to remember what it was you would ditch humanity all together just be animalkin He's like this is our first panda Philly's Winder or you would go with a young age You give him your little age and then be like that technically you'd be back in time. Yeah, but I didn't win yet It's gonna be a person my little age. It's gonna be a team

He's got so many options to just keep winning murder you can establish a one-man dynasty on Philly's funniest are non binaries human Yeah, I think so I think technically I think they claim humanity. Yeah, I think all people are human You're still human if you're overly silly Like just because you're super silly doesn't mean not a human me and Murdoch don't approve of stuff like that There's nothing silly about completely withdrawing yourself Binary's are ones and O's dude, and if you're not binary you're a two Explain that what are you saying dude in my mind binaries are ones and O's and if you're not a one and O then you're a two come on That's fair. Who wants to be a two in the world of ones and O's get out of here

Damn, I was it. I thought I was in the hot seat for making fun of non-binary The American was like I'll save the day and say whatever the fuck this is I mean To be fair to be fair to be fair murder. What do you think about that? Yeah, you know, maybe Josh Kosh this year So are they are they still so do they do they open the doors to you once you want doesn't heal him Just like turn around and just fully give you the keys of the kingdom. Um, well, they'll they do let me in the building Well, you know, they I'm not I'm not disallowed

What do you what do you tell us that mean I? Don't know Let's you like hosting shit. We'll you I'm unperturbed on person you no no no no I've done stuff there Wait, what do you mean? I do stuff there. Okay, so you let you host once you want. Yeah sick Posted I've hosted stuff, but I do a lot of stuff outside town too. I'm not I'm all around, you know Oh, yeah, nice. I like the suburbs. I like New Jersey Jersey's bad. I take it back Jersey's a good time. No Jersey stinks you it literally smells nor if Jersey smells like ass. No, it looks like it smells It smells no, it smells

Central Jersey, are you in North Jersey, Gardini? Central Jersey. Yeah, we started when you hit that bridge it starts to stank Like literally genuine smell. It's not like a my favorite thing about going back into Jersey from Philly is like the bridge in Where's that Trenton? Yeah, where it's like the world Trenton makes the world takes. Yeah, you ever see that? Yeah I don't think so anymore A new slogan yeah, because that right now it has like heavy like Jewish mother energy Trenton just makes everything and all you do is take it You haven't been putting up numbers in a while you might want to get a new bridge

What are they used to make like steel or something crime? Yeah, all of the best criminal like draft picks are from Trenton just dudes coming home tired like how long they had the stabbing factory That sucks man sucks that that town just fell they got a triple a hockey team Trenton I thought it was doing all right Trenton. Yeah, I mean it's better than it was. I don't know It's just a place to take a bus, you know, they got this fine bus town. It's a connect It's a bus connecting town. I feel bad for China isn't isn't China like locked up right now for Shanghai all locked down Like you just like stop hitting yourself stop

Well, it sucks. I was like I actually I inflated an inflatable pool recently and it was made in China Yeah, and I was like damn that must be so depressing to like Just like as you're locked down There's probably somebody like once the economy starts faltering like we got something to do and just blowing up inflatable pools They send you back to like a cement fucking barricade like barracks. Wait, is that mean does that mean we're gonna have to start? Locking down again, too. I thought only only if you let them dude only if you let them let them the first time I don't see the first time Got to have more stores where they're like you guys got to do this and they're just like no

Like I'm good. I bet it's gonna happen more. Well, it's all suggested. It's all suggestions now at this point No Yeah, but you can you can you don't have to have your mask on it's uh, whoa, whoa, you're gonna get us fucking the platform No, I was in uh, I was in the supermarket today murdoch and I was I was taking account who had it on who didn't A lot of people opting out. Yeah You know pre-vaccination I was pretty uh, you know, but now it's like, you know, wait, you were what before the vaccination I wore the mask all the time, but now it's uh, you know, that makes sense. Yeah, you're vexed. Yeah Now you're protected for life. You can't catch that. You can't even catch coven now that you're vaccinated, right? Um, well, you

Have from it, you know what I mean? Like, okay. So yeah, you don't like kind of but you can catch it But it goes in there and blocks it. That's what's up Yeah They're just in there waiting for you the cells or whatever in there waiting for it to show up and they're like get the fuck out of here, dude You ever seen Playing red rover in your body. You ever seen Terry T off his linebacker It's a whole show. It's not a show. It's like a clip. It's like a thing

He uh, it's a he he's uh, he's dressed like a football player big black guy And he fucking just tackles people who do who go ol in the office Like I gotta see that. I think I'm pretty sure that's how it works. Yeah Because that's what I want to tell everybody you guys got to really dial back your expectations of how you think the thing was supposed to work Like yeah, obviously initially it was blocking everything. It was perfect, but now Now that the virus is mutated you guys got to all grow up and realize you can still test positive But you're still well protected. Dude, you're not far off from how they like made the the the uh, the vaccine I was like looking into it. I watched I watched maybe two 20 minute youtube videos on it

That's what you're research. What did you do? Yeah, I research the the one thing they said they said so The the mRNA is made To attack the covid virus. Nice. Yeah. So yeah, what you're saying is kind of right. So it hangs out. Yeah, it's like They just drink coffee How long does it last in your body for once you get it? I don't know dude. I don't know. I think forever. I thought forever Does it? I don't know

No, I thought it was just I thought it was I thought the vaccine was just chilling for like a cool year Like it did like a summer abroad in your body And then they're like I gotta go back to canada kid Yeah, all the yeah, all the deadly strains are like like they're out of style now. So Yeah, we're on like we're on the non-deadly one. We're on the good one. It's one of the common cold shit right now If you get killed by covid you should have died. Yeah, I mean now I would say now. I mean now. I mean now. I think all of them. I think they all deserve it. It's one way of putting it I wouldn't

I heard you think the planet had six million to burn How much was it? What was it? Sorry, that's a weird I don't know. I don't know how I sound severely inflated No, that was I was thinking of it I got my bad stuff mixed up my bad Probably a hundred thousand at most Like there was like a survey like I don't know. I only have a I have a high school education In one of my classes where they said, uh, uh, Coatesville area school word. It's called cash

But yeah, they said like there was going to be a point where the population reaches like there's so much and the earth's Going to have to like do its own thing to like that's what they told you in high school One of yeah, that was one of like a theory they had about population control So the earth's going to kill you like the earth's going to cold like it's going to keep like the earth Like the earth did your science teacher call the earth the earth? Yeah, earth 101 you could only you could only ask him questions I just go to a detroit michigan middle school So

Yeah, please take everything I say with a great especially coach, you know, I'm sorry. I was goofing. I'm goofing Nah, dude. La maire. La maire's my dog. I don't pay attention without you. I listen to la maire That makes more sense It's shorter and you know, it's same thing. Yeah, it's fringe Murdoch Murdoch once you won philly's funniest were people coming for you? um I don't think so

Good I know how it is murdoch. You win now. All of a sudden you start you start to question you say This guy really happened on my best interest. Did he call you? Are they coming for the throne? He's like matt. What do I know murdoch never consulted me. I was pissed. I was like, dude I'm sitting here waiting for you. Uh, am I supposed to consult everybody? Yeah, dude, we all meet all the philly's funniest to me. You didn't get to realize I mean get together, dude I've only talked to uh I talked to a bunch probably everybody by now

Uh, you know, I see david james now and again champion See, um, dude, if you ever get to talk to comic anton, you'll be you'll finally reach the higher plane Oh, I knew him. I remember him. Yeah. Yeah champion. Oh man Legend. Yeah, it's good. I just know how it is murdoch people start trying to disrespect you once you got the fucking crown People start coming for your neck I got suspended from helium, dude. You got suspended. Yeah, when I was Philly's funniest, they get suspended me Why'd they suspend you? I got the boot. I was I got caught. I didn't get caught. I was just teaching a comedy class for money

Because I didn't have healthcare Some dude found out wait, you you got kicked out for teaching a comedy class. Yeah, bro Somewhere else. Yeah. So that was a that was uh, that was apparently a uh, suspendable offense, dude Oh, unbelievable. Wow. Yeah, dude. Just you know, I thought maybe just teaching a comedy class in in general could be a suspendable Murdoch I didn't have healthcare. No, I know I understand. It's okay. This podcast new name is murdoch and the boys I knew you'd take over I knew you would assess the situation and fully take over Yeah, it's not my highest point. But again, I had no money and I said they were like, we're gonna give you like 600 bucks to teach this class

And I was like, oh, yeah, how many weeks? I don't know. It was like Maybe two months But it was like once a week and I didn't I literally didn't do anything Oh, yeah, that's good money for eight days. I just showed up and I'm like, this is just an open mic Do you material like we don't have any I'm like just get on stage Rift just talk for five minutes. They're like, oh do for round boys. Oh Yeah murdoch. I mean

so What's your status at the club? You're good, right? Yeah, I'm okay. Good because like I said, they play games the funniest, bro. I got they played with me I'm like woody harrelson from hunger games, bro. I'm just trying to help you Oh woody harrelson. Oh Uh, I haven't seen that yet. Nice. Okay. Is that any good? Should I check that out? It's pretty good Get cameras. It's solid. All right. We're like the hunger games. Hunger games is good Jennifer Hudson or Lawrence murdoch. I feel like you're like I feel like you're icing me out right now

I'm trying to connect with you. You want to champion champion? Murdoch, you're not literally in a cave I feel like you're icing me out. I'm just not very good at answering things Really questions Well, I don't know or maybe I'm really good and and then it's like what are you are you're an elusive dude? I answer questions so quickly that it's uh, I'm not trying to be No, you're good, brother. I'm in another room. I know I've been to you so much. I'm in an entire Murdoch you're not coming out for a month

I want you to be comfortable So murdoch what's good, dude? What are you up to? What's what's the day-to-day looking like we're gonna go? We're gonna round robin. Um, I just like to interview everybody. What's the day-to-day? Well, life is different day-to-day. I don't do the same thing week-to-week. It's a different It's a different thing every every week every weekend. No routine Um, keep them guessing just a different. Yeah, I mean I go to just different shows mostly outside town Because that's where the bigger shows are really right so you make it sound like you just wake up in places um

No, I wake up at home And are you are you if you don't are you sexually active within the walls of your house? Sure I'd like to interview everybody. Have you got a wife? Is this okay? See now I'm evasive because Dude, I talk about getting pussy all the time I got pussy two weeks ago and I'm due it's coming

It's coming dude. I can't wait. Give me a back order It's coming. Supply chain's fucking up your pussy. She's got my balls on ice right now I don't I don't like talking about myself. Uh fair enough. What do you like to talk about? What's what's kicking in your current events wheel? Oh current events. Yeah, talk current events I mean, I you know, I I'm used to bearing my soul, but Dude, he thinks daniel radcliffe is going to be a good weird out. Of course. Why wouldn't he be a good weird? Why wouldn't he be because he can do it a weird out picked him? He's short weird out picked daniel radcliffe to play. Yeah, dude. Who the fuck does he think? What does he think he looks like?

He handed him an accordion and he was like, oh my god He gave him a he gave him a fucking accordion lessons He gave really daniel rad you think they like fucked around at all No, no weird else homosexual, right? No respectfully. He's is he heterosexual? No, he's he has a wife and a kid. Um, I can talk about weird al's personal life That's not off limits. You should just do that murdoch when anyone asks you anything just respond as if you're weird out You weird al's first. You're a big fan of double. I don't like this conversation. Just beat it Yeah, he's he's the

He's the greatest he's the greatest ever. No, what was that you just show me? Damn, that's crazy. I didn't I didn't know I didn't want to assume I just was I figured I'd check gay first before I went to heterosexual It's awesome that google let you know though It's awesome that google can tell the whole world your sexual orientation. Was that like a bold face? That was bold face letters. Was that like an article or like one of those quora? That's one of those Yeah, that was definitely no dude. That was al's people We got to kill this weird out gay narrative. Coolio started the gay narrative. Oh, yeah, he was pissed

Coolio was pissed he covered cool. Everything is cool with coolio Are you sure are we sure about that? No, I've I've read all the statements that he's made and Coolio's down with weird out covered. He said he felt stupid for he felt that he looked stupid for uh for being offended by a weird al parody Wait, he was offended. Yeah. No, he was he was and and now he's embarrassed about being offended By a weird al parody gotta make you know the oj show like the people versus oj They're gonna make one of those about al versus the music al versus coolio I think that's actually gonna be covered in the biopic. Wait, what biopic? Who's gonna be playing coolio? It's the fucking one with Daniel Radcliffe. You gotta play coolio. The thing I came here to promote

Yo, you gotta lose about 50 more and we're gonna get you in there as coolio. Oh, he's screened me skinny Murdock, what's coolio? What's al up to you? I haven't heard he hasn't dropped anything Well, he's written this movie. He's been kind of pitching out uh projects and this is what stuck This is the one that stuck Um the biopic. Yeah, why isn't he dropped any fire lately? Uh, he will dude. He's he's done. He's been touring He's been producing a lot of other other stuff other than music like what? like um Well, he did a kid's book. He did a lot. He's been doing a lot of touring

He um, he's playing the same old hits Yeah, but he's also but he wrote a fucking movie About himself, that's easy. Anyone can do that. No, no, but it's gonna be it's gonna be funny. It's gonna be a good movie Why are we attacking weird? I'm not attacking him. I look murdock. I'm here to get to the bottom of things No, no, yeah I'm here to get to the bottom of weird al. We already established. He's hetero is fuck. He doesn't owe anybody anything What was his last? Who do you think will win a fight? Weird al or kenny g?

Or are they the same person? Those guys would never fight. You'd be surprised weird. I also got way better arm strength You think so weird else jack. Yeah with doing the accordion. He's definitely That's true. He's definitely way more jacked than kenny g. Weird al can squish some heads Dude and I when I was a kid I saw him twice and he did a costume change He did I was the appropriate age It was a child Wait, you you saw your concert. It's all too something wrong with that. Yeah. It was a child

I've seen him fucking four times as an adult If anyone I've been a fair level host you've attacked me from my past for running a comedy club out of economic necessity Well, that was That was a light ribbing murdock. You're you're a hundred. You're a hundred percent right It is the most brutal egregious act you can do is run a comedy fucking I These are the kind of offers you get when you want filly's funniest, dude I got set up. Dude. That's why I'm trying to take you under my wing and be like, dude

Murdock shit's not all sweet. You win the fucking thing. People come for you quicksand You don't think that was a setup. You don't think I know that Trackman set me up, dude Trackman. Yeah, you know him Oh, yeah He set me up He saw me soar and he goes, all right, I got something to do. He set me the fuck up I did the comedy class and they told on me, dude

There's a classic bait and switch, dude He uh, he planted that he planted a key in my car speaking of weird ale. He talks shit on weird ale that guy Brad dragman Yeah, he had this whole story where he's very open for him at like one at like one venue And then he thought he got kicked off the tour even though he wasn't touring with weird ale He had this whole crazy story where he thought weird ale was jealous of him What? Yeah, weird ale probably fucking stole the story and another He's told this with a straight face. I'm not kidding. He told this story. He said this on um, I what was the podcast?

Open Anthony WTF. No, I think it was um Calm down No, no, it was a smaller podcast, but he he's straight up sad share Okay What's shade of pink it's podcast called the red He might have been on the red table Uh, no, but he he said he actually felt like he was like

That there was a jealousy or something which is like I mean the queen was dude. He's a comedy god So Al probably saw a track man and was like damn his mother fuckers fire But weird ale when he would have opening acts they would they would they wouldn't tour with them They never they would just be picked by the venue and maybe somebody would do like two different things I looked into the forums. Have you confronted him about the fake news you were spreading about? Yes, I had a phone conversation with him. What you called him about it He called me when I made fun of him online What'd you say? I never lie on weird ale's name

First of all, this is what us comedy teachers do we wait online and we're like, what the fuck do you say about me? So you call what how did the conversation go you called he was pissed off that I was making fun of him and uh What'd you say about him? Uh, you know what I did I This is an insane thing I did like, uh I I Changed my profile picture to him and I did like a A generic like I put in the comedy for the philly comedy network like who wants to come see my comedy class, you know

Like I like So he was mad that you were you were fucking talking to bring a smut on his name Yeah, you were coming at the comedy you came at his comedy institute, dude Wasn't it technically a comedy college? Yeah. Yeah, but this be him old thing and he like called me and and uh And he was really mad and I like got to the bottom of this story Which is basically that he I'm like dude. He doesn't bring people on tour with them, you know

Like what what he what was his rebuttal? I did my research, dude. Yeah. What was his rebuttal? Um basically he uh He didn't really have much of a rebuttal. He was just explaining his part in it Did he threaten did he threaten you at all? No, it kind of it kind of Everything was like, are we cool? I was like, yeah, I guess we're cool and now I have his number So if anybody wants to prank call brad trackman, how did uh, how did you do your research? Yeah, true. Uh, I went across the forums, you know the weird owl forums. Yeah Could you ask me?

And he saw it I looked up about the opening act and and I figured you know, he switched you up city to city Um, he used he used to just have opening acts. Well, that's as in his tours as in his like set list um his uh, his like The the uh, he did one tour that he did that. Yeah, but every other every other tour is like A set set. Like he never got caught up in any of that like pedophile stuff, did he? Nope, dude. His name is on the logs though. I think his name's on the logs, dude I think his name's in the logs. He's on the he was on the plane. I think he was on the but like dude wait, but also

No, weird out weird out couldn't even get on uh, we are the world. You know what I mean? He was never That might be where he got the pull from the bio pic, dude Uh, that's where he got the money for it. Can I we got that? It's weird out on the logs for real I think so, dude. No, he is not dude. I believe no, he is not Yo, he's gonna he's not a pedophile Stop it. Chill man. He's gonna pretend to be you on facebook Mur-not murder knows dude murders two for two on weird squash and weird out rumors weird out not on the logs Hetero weird out not a pedo. It's gonna show up on me. I want to I want to say the hetero thing

I'm not as it's okay. You know, I don't you know, of course you don't judge, but you're saying yeah He might got a little sugar in the tank No, he's a pretty uh plays a rainbow accordion. I don't I don't think he would hide being gay No, not at all. That's the thing, you know what I mean? I don't think no Be like, oh, he'd lose all that mainstream appeal that he's got if you know what I mean He's not mainstream. He's mainstream. He is mainstream. Joe. Um, but I think you know, if you're homophobic you're probably you probably Don't like weird ale because you're judgmental Joe, how do you think uh, I I think if you don't like weird ale you're homophobic and if you don't like

If you're homophobic, you don't like weird ale. There's like a yeah, there's like a I don't know why those two things are exactly the same people There's an overlap of homophobic and doesn't like weird ale Yeah, they're not they're not musically west borough church hates weird ale for sure god hates weird ale Yeah, murdoch. I'll say you are a beacon of truth. Everything you've said is 100 true. I can't I want to argue. I can't Anyone who's against gay dude sees weird ale goes fuck that It's totally because he's weird. It's totally unrelated because he's weird fucking suspenders. I must ask totally unrelated Wait suspenders on our original Joker

I don't think I've seen weird ale and suspenders. So weird ale's married, right? He doesn't wear suspenders. He definitely wears suspenders. He definitely wears it I think you weren't wait. Hold on. That's a good question. Urkel, dude How do you think uh, weird ale feels being the second best accordion player of all time to urkele? He's not a real accordion. Is he a real accordion player? Yeah, dude, of course is jaleel white an accordion player. I mean, he's method Stefan He's method dude. He's method as hell

So where's suspenders? Yeah, he does play the accordion. I wonder who'd be better Dude, jaleel white, dude. I mean first of all weird ale should acknowledge the fact that he completely Just took over a traditionally black instrument. That's the accordion. Yeah, I thought that was like a mexican instrument No, dude Like in south really the like the people who play I don't know. You know, I don't know where the accordion comes from from africa, dude Yeah, it feels very

It's not mexican. I can't believe said that but they play it all across the world Germany and then it went to africa and then hit Where's weird ale from? Where's uh, um, lindwood california. Gotcha. Is he is he he's jewish, right? Nope, really? He's uh, I think yuga slobby in Uh, that's that's a uh, that was something they made up when they escaped the holocaust I think there's like two or three. Yeah, I thought weird ale was from jersey, dude. Nope lindwood california Oh, yeah, his original name his original name was like weird in and then they messed it up at ellis island Now he's weird ale. I think you gotta check that weird ale's from jersey

I bet dude. He's from like linden wall new jersey, dude. Is he from california? No, I have to dispel this Yeah, dude, no Murders not said a untrue thing this whole time. Where'd you buy? He's from seattle Where? Oh, okay, maybe that's where he was born Hey, that's not where he came up. Yeah. Yeah. Have you caught a pre-screening of the biopic? It's still in the editing process Murder, how do you know all this shit, dude?

I just I it just finished filming so it pops up in his google, dude You know your shit pops up in your google. True. That's true. He covers you know murdoch's google weird ale And then google is like we got you dude. He would post about it every day on instagram Daniel Radcliffe is closing the scene today Oh I can try. I'm sorry murder Mm-hmm. You any questions for lamere or andy or myself. Um, I like to have an open totally open forum, dude Yeah, oh what do you got? Um

How's everybody doing pretty good man? I feel great. I'm fantastic when I want everyone to have fun What's it like in the other room that I'm not in? It's pretty tense, bro. Pretty great. You got us. You got us walking on eggshells out here Yeah How is he I didn't know I'd have to bring my a game, dude Dude weird ale. I'm I'm fucking angry, dude. Why he's from california. I thought he was straight out into jersey So did I I didn't think it was like a new york thing. Yeah or something like that's really he was thinking about riding the bus Yeah, because how brave is it to be weird in california? Yeah, it's not that brave

He wasn't ale until he left this he was just ale until he left the state. Yeah Um Yeah, do you murder do you think there's is there any is he have any rivals? Like is there anyone else out there dropping that kind of no everybody everybody uh respects him But there's nobody else. He has no like like I mean Eminem had machine gun kelly like is there's no fucking think so. I don't think I think it feel I think a lot of the A lot of the people that have been the most prominent have also had other things like a lonely island Those guys are do pretty well, but they love ale. They haven't had them in a song though

Um, no, but they haven't had weird ale on the song No, they weird ale. They've done a photo shoot where they all dressed up like weird ale They all the mustaches and stuff, but like why why hasn't he been on the song with them? Well, maybe someday. Maybe I don't know dude. I feel like the lonely island's been retired Maybe yeah, I don't know. We'll see what I feel like all modern funny, but he seems to be good with uh, you know All the spinal tap guys. He's he's not uh, you know, what's final time? I think you The That was like the first mockumentary whether the rock band you ever hear like these ones go to 11. No, you don't know that

Yes, it's some white bullshit It's a white classic only mockumentary. I like it's the office True. What's uh, what's what's weird owls political leaning? Um, I heard he's a hardcore trumpest um he's he's um I think he's democrat, but doesn't doesn't you know lecture people doesn't really like to talk about where'd you get this? Where'd you get his political leaning from? Um

Are you projecting your political party on weird ow? Uh, uh, well, I don't know. I think I okay. I don't know No, but I think he is a little more left-wing just just side jokes that he's made and Little statements went asked and put on the spot, but he doesn't try to like he doesn't want to do like a Trump song What's weird and who would want to like the trump song would be old now if you did a trump song Do you have like a pro trump song? um a pro con a song about

Like, you know, he doesn't do political comedy at all. Nope. What's weird owls real name? Alfred Matthew Yankevic. Okay, so weird owl might be a righty or whatever, but what about Alfred? Yankevic, what is he? What is he? What is he lean? I I don't understand your question We're two different guys weird owls the character Alfred's the man. True. Wait, so weird owls a hard right? I think he's really a character someone I don't know dude except for when he's like fat or when he's like he's owl and he's like heightened weird But he's he's owl. You know, he's not like

It's not like he's the dice man or something Which is not as much a character as he you think the dice man fucks with weird owl. Uh, dude. He has Yeah, he has to when they're at like the the funny character like conventions. Yeah, he's weird owl. Noogies Yeah Oh Nice and weird out the same table. Just fucking It's real He's knocking over his accordion a rich little dawn faces

Did did weird owl have a affair with tequila tequila? That'd be bad. That'd be amazing. Is that no he can do better than that He saved her at the gathering. He's the data Lorraine Newman. Who's that? From snl original cast member. Really? Yeah, oh gee, dude. Did they Do it well, I assume so how long they date for I don't know a couple years Oh, they definitely had sex like a couple times sure at least a couple times at least a couple times You ever just like fall asleep and just wake up with sex and you're like, oh, no What oh no You say you wake up getting seven someone's having sex with you. Yeah

Dude, what are you no way you've ever had you've been waking up to how like on top of you No, you've never been woken up with with sex before I keep a strong I keep a strong consent line I keep It's all because I'm just the only if a woman did that to me. I'd fucking freak Fuck like it's an unbelievable violation. No, it's crazy. Yeah. No When do they even get consent? I don't know. Yeah, how do they get you hard without you knowing? What do you say when a woman waits when a woman's

Putting that snail on you to wake you up. What do you do? All right I guess it's just I guess let's go. I don't know that's what happened with me dude. You just go. Oh, do you like this? The first sound is like That would be dude if you accidentally let out like just like You have to like adjustment moan I was like I was I almost hit her because I wasn't sure what was happening. That is like that is frightening If you don't know what's about sorry boys

That's myself. I'll turn off my bluetooth Wait, how did that how did that get in the The um, no, I want I'm gonna stop this we're getting off topic here. Lemair. This isn't time for personal fucking Sorry, we're we're here to crack we're here to crack al dude Crack out crack al so far. We know about weird al heterosexual Flaming heterosexual maybe Al loves to write al for yankovich. Not so much true. Although dude, you don't think on the road Just just once bro

He's a pretty focused guy, you know, like, you know, I mean But a lot of times those dudes who hyper focus like that need a Crack open. I don't know. I don't know when a groupie. I think he you know, he really uh He runs like a tight ship. You know, I mean he doesn't get uh France Andrew said he ran a tight ship too and he was fucking he was on but you know, we're down not on the logs We established that Uh, he's very much. He's fucking meticulous dude. He doesn't like he's he doesn't like getting near an air conditioner Because it might ruin your voice. I feel like that. Really? Well, he stays at air conditioning. That's what I heard

in an interview So, yeah, I don't want to wrinkle his skin. He's a vampire. Check that Yeah He doesn't talk much before a show door. He's very Conserves his voice. So, yeah, he's he probably he probably uh, Still saves up the cup of hermes as well He doesn't spill a seed Do you uh, is weird. I'll take adrenochrome

No, no way you ever uh hear the thing, you know pretty down to earth guys people have been talking about michael jackson's real voice Regular guy actually That's the weirdest thing of all. He's just chill. He's he's just that he's the Normalist guy in all of hollywood. He's just that's weird That's the weird part. Whoa, you don't think he has any kinks He definitely does weirdo has to have some oh, that's what i'm trying to get at maybe on some some very private personal level that Like what though? That's where the kinks happen. That's why he's weird dude. You're right. Everything else is normal Do you think you think he's i'll be willing to grant him this

He's the most normal dude ever, but he does wear a butt plug 24 seven Fair uh, I don't I don't believe there's any evidence to suggest He's not fact. He's not ruling it out though. Sure. I mean, yeah, you can't nobody can nobody knows who's Technically can't know that It's not within the uh, you know confines of the public Uh, you know any one of us could have a butt plug. That's what i'm saying. That's how it doesn't matter at all Yeah, but i'm saying why is it being brought up? I'm saying he could be wearing a vibrating butt plug See what you're saying is yet. He what's his secret? He can't be there has to be something hiding

Nothing bad. I mean, there's nothing wrong with wearing a butt plug 24 seven I'm saying I think there's something we got to get to the bottom of this and maybe it's in the biopic Maybe the butt plug scene is in the biopic Where pops out doing a show and he's like Maybe maybe he has like one toe that's like Bigger than the others. Do you think Brad trackman saw the plug? Kicked off the tour Because it is weird to not bring someone with you reliably on a tour. Why would you no because he he's he's not

He doesn't bring somebody on it. No, he never brought he always had like opening acts Sure, just stand-up comics. I saw him with a stand-up comic back in like 2000 How was it and he was you know, he just You real you're a kid and you just really want to see weird Al. He was okay Do you know who it is? I know Is it Brad trackman? My mom said she saw him in 92 and thinks that she saw Ray Romano open for him

Really big Ray? Yeah, that's what I heard But other than that like he uh What else did he do? Well, yeah, now he has emo phillips going on the road with him still guys like emo phillips Okay, so he's this regular guy Yeah for like this tour like the tour where he does his own the his non-parody song Oh, I think you're saying he has a different dude every city. I was like, whoa, that's sauce You ever see emo phillips

I met him Emo phillips, he looks like a corpse We're trying to keep it light here, dude. LaMair. Why are you getting all fucking good at this? And he talks like the most animated person in the world. He talks like a guy thinks like I'm doing jokes like really? He's incredibly low-key in real life. He's low-key. You can't do that all day every day. I believe that Yeah, he he has like a little you know, I saw him walk out. I met him like twice Kind of looks like Daniel Radcliffe a little. I met him once officially I saw him

Well, I guess I semi-met him once and then what was his deal? Was he cool or is he a dick? He's a decent dude, you know, I know some people who know him and he's he's a good guy, you know, nice Was he as chill as Al or is it like? Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's um He's Gentle quiet guy, you know, he kind of has that persona on stage a little bit. So nice. All right. We gotta say We gotta all right. We're gonna button the al talk up Unless you have anything else you want to talk about it. Where are we on to the three stooges? Do you like the stooges? Yes

Dude, Harry curling mo What's the uh No, I I genuinely don't like the three stooges. Really? I'm gonna stop that right you think slapstick. I do not like slapstick I do not like the who's on first it. I hate this That's not you laugh dick. It's kind of like I hate that people say slapstick is physical Why is everybody who he's I guess people think verbal slapstick is that like don't they hit each other Who's on first? So you're on first my wife. They do some shit. We're like not. No, they bend down

They found what they had the other guys walking around with a board hits him in the head. Yeah Guys, what you got over there? There's a lot giggling Who? Oh, don't be don't get personal, dude. Yeah, beautiful woman Okay, well, I bet dude Yeah, he deserves it for sure for sure. I bet don't get dude. Don't get personal Yeah, dude, leave the why it's out of it, guys. Let me let me say let me tell you guys something about this poster

We got above the wall Oh man, I've been looking at it the whole time mad shane secret podcast is brought to you by Displate want one of these what is that? Dude, you've been waiting for it and now there is a link in our show notes to buy this very poster right up there Beautiful, dude. Displate is a sick idea. Displate is a one-of-a-kind metal poster It takes 20 seconds to install your poster comes with a magnetic sticker Just pop it on the wall. No power tools. No damage and you can easily switch it out for a new poster They have millions of designs available many different sexy ladies

Officially licensed designs from bethcita star wars netflix and more do they have dragon ball z and more They have a whole section. I did check more They probably have weird out posters No, for sure You can send any image you want and they'll print it up too So you can do that as long as you know, like the whatever's all right to cover it But yeah, I wanted to get like some real tasteful Uh, what is it called waifu waifu waifu you got a waifu just to put it because you have like a nice waifu piece

There wasn't one of like a lady in lingerie doing a pull-up. Yeah, it's pretty nice Dude your wife should be paying a lien The what nothing panelina But yeah, guys click the link in our description to buy this display right over there and save get 27 off weirdly when you buy two displays or 34 off when you buy three or more All right, it's fucked up. That's crazy the discount will be automatically applied to your cart when you click our link or use code drenched when you visit Displate.com amazing deal only available for limited time. That's display.com code drenched or click the link

Sorry guys had to do a quick. Yeah, I had to cool down the doctor Matt what's up, dude? We're kind of pouring you watching dude, bro. I've been off. So I've been living in an apartment. Yeah for Two months waiting. No, no, not that. I wish I did wait, you know, oh wait murdoch. You're sorry. I thought that was uh Andy no Murdoch, I do not live here Does the people that own this place? Don't act like that No, for all for all records. I yeah, I technically occupy this every day where I sleeps in my business, dude

You give all this respect to weird alice privacy You're trying to dox me. Yeah It's a fair question that's that's something I hide Vigorously try to hide the fact that I don't This is your home, but your garage you could not bring it up that you don't live here. Oh, I can I'm done I'm gonna do it because I told you I'm only after the truth and if I destroy myself in the process So be it that's fair. I'm only after the veritas. Hey, man. Do you need somebody to live here? All right, never mind You could we could use an old guard dog an old groundskeeper. You just live in the cave. I know you'd like that

I heard how I heard how comfy you got on stoner dad. I'd have to make the tomb bed every day Yeah, I mean if there was ever some wayward soul, I'd take the man as long as they weren't doing drugs Do you want to groundskeep? What are you moving out of your place? Maybe I'll have an old ranch hand here. I'll be coming in though. This is a place of business You have a girlfriend there, don't you would you guys like ever do it in here? Like I just want to know I don't want you If you're living here, I'm coming in here. I don't want to come in if you guys are doing it. They got a full

You gave them a full set they got only fans in here drill you walk in with him and his girlfriend. You're like you said whatever I want That's crass That's his girlfriend. Dude. He's gonna come up and fuck that's dude. It's over If you say anything about someone's girlfriend, you can stab the murdoch didn't you almost get stabbed once? um Yeah, you know here and there no you didn't someone attack you at the Philadelphia comedy awards Um, oh shit the widows the widows. It was the parody awards Really?

Yeah, it was that mic proto guy. He had a knife. Why did he try to stab you? Why would he stab you like proto? Well, well, he shouldn't say his name. It's a as a serious crime to attack somebody with a deadly weapon. Yeah Yeah, so let's not talk about it, but he did try to stab you. What do you try? Did he try to stab you? Did he just wield a knife at you? Yeah, you know, there's been better days in my life You know, how'd you respond when when the blade came out? I dodged it. Well, he actually He tried to get you with it Was he flashing or did he try he tried to actually stab you? Did you side swipe?

Which way which direction did you jump? Um Well, you know a wet the you know like away There's a bunch of ways though. Well, you know like where something has been one direction and you go in the exact opposite of it So backwards. Yeah, there you go No, for real Did he actually like try to get you with it or you just flashed a lot of people basically just flashing it, but um, so we didn't stab it Yeah, but you know he you know It's all it's all water under the bridge. This all sounds like the beginning. We hang out all the time now

Are you guys chill now? No I've never seen him in my life again, but what was his beef with you? Um Uh, basically he was like ripping on me on stage He was talking shit on me and then I got up there and it was like, what's up and you will smith. I didn't hit him He will smith I don't you know, this is all this is all like what is this 20 years ago or something? It's a cool story. Seven years ago. It's a cool. It's a cool story. If you're uncomfortable talking about yeah, dude You escaped that's tough as hell. You didn't get caught. I've been I've been in worse situations

What's the worst situation you've ever been in? I think that guy chased by a bunch of kids in north philadelphia for what? How many uh for walking alone at night? Uh when I lived up in north philadelphia. They treated you like a pretty lady No, they all ran after me and I ran away from them, you know that direction and uh Back what were they saying were they saying anything? Uh, I think I don't I think their actions spoke for for Pretty well, did they just rush you like so you're yeah, dude a bunch of kids tried to roll me one of them knocked me to the ground Oh, they actually got you No, but I hopped right back up went around to a convenience store, which that's the pretty convenience store

I'll tell you what Hold on. So you took refuge in a convenience store a bunch of against a young a bunch of young black kids. That's like their monastery You went to shredder's lair. Yeah, you ran over and hid behind the hot cheetos. I'll be saved here It worked. Joe. What were you wearing? Um, I was wearing a hoodie. Oh Hold on. So they not did they knock out gave you Uh, they they tried they tried did they connect? One of them knocked me to my

Knocked me down and I and I I have a I don't have those jeans anymore But I had a ripped knee in the jeans. Yeah And now what you know, and I that was my big scar and I made right out of that one Oh, you went down. They not yes. They got you pretty good No, they just got me to the ground and I hit you in the head and you go to the ground. That's a pretty good hit Yeah, but compared to being kicked and beaten by 12 kids I'll take it. Yeah I was proud of being able to get right up. That's true. And then you outran them. That's a you know, yeah the agility dude

Yeah, it's a feat So how long so what what are the owner of the convenience store say when you're like, sir asylum asylum Oh What did he say he should did he like it was like a glorious bastard Did you hide under the floorboards or the he just like wait there and they left? Yeah, basically, I just waited there till they left and then and then went home, you know And uh, you know always keep my distance from people especially large groups That looked like they're just standing there for some odd reason it

One o'clock in the morning anytime. It's a group of kids sitting anywhere. You're gonna watch it. Fuck out, dude I feel like nobody's afraid of black dudes anymore I feel like they'd lost the sauce That's that's because I feel like as soon as murdoch outran 12 kids Matt this this is come on, man Come on, man. It's the it's the white borders, dude It's the white the places where they intersect or the those are the docile black people

So we're not gonna fucking encroach on the white people go behind those borders Go beyond those borders. Joe went beyond those borders Found out No I'm not proud of it. It was uh, it was it was luck, you know, you did it Huh? You saying you attacked Joe? Nothing Nothing ever too bad happened really fully. Yeah. Yeah, you know In the end what else what other scary situations have you been in? That's pretty scary. That is scary

Weird situations the cops bother you when you live there sometimes because they're like they think I think you're caught if you're in North Phillies particularly before the word gentrification was very popular Like you're like like 10 years ago people think I'm out there looking for drugs Think you copied. Yeah, basically and you know, I'm like I think I remember I just moved into a place and I couldn't remember the address right off hand and the cop asked like What's your address and I'm like, I can't right off hand. I can't like you can't remember your own address thing Geez these cops are mean So what do you do? How can a cop be mean to me?

Cops seem unreasonable. What did you do? Joe to be fair to the cop? You do have a frenetic energy Uh, yeah, but uh, you know, I let I left that But um, you actually, you know, once one time, uh, one time a comic Uh, brought me home And it was it was a black guy, uh black comic. Yeah, why aren't you saying his name? Okay? I could say his name. What did he do first? What do you do for his name? This is the second time lamar beat him up No, but he was they were definitely profiling him. Okay. It's it was a cop's You know Omar Scruggs. You guys know Omar Scruggs. Um, he's great. He he drove me up home

He's a mensch and uh, yeah, they were definitely profiling me That's the Jewish Okay, no, he brought me he brought me home and they Went and bothered him because they thought I was a because I had long hair at the time They thought I was a prostitute. What? Yeah, dude, they thought I was a prostitute that he was bringing. How much do you think you can make a day? Um, probably a lot. I bet but I you know, I would I would choose not to Who would be your client? Um, it was a lot lizard for sure. Oh, I've been solicited

Oh, who solicited you a guy solicited me, uh once in uh, you've never been solicited. You've no one's tried to Have sex with him. No Dude, I look like pretty ladies from behind I've got this happening to everybody Joe you beat you have me beat at every level Yeah, a guy tried to pick me up like Joe has weed. I'll ever been where were you walking? Kind of kind of near the neighborhood, you know But but not kind of near and not smack dab in the middle of it Yeah, maybe maybe near the park or hotel or something. You know what I mean? People thought you were

A little gay for play. They thought you were some candy. Yeah. I mean, I was pretty young. What'd you say? You know, I said, uh, no, no, thanks No, thanks. I might have not said no. I didn't say anything too mean, but I definitely was like, no How did he approach? What was his like offer like you? You want to you want to make some money? He's really skeezy. Like you didn't even consider it I mean, no, he was like, yeah, how much money you need to go like I mean, it was definitely a guy's like I wouldn't fuck that guy if I was gay definitely, but he's giving you money

No way dude that if you saw this guy No daddy play but wait if you are you saying a few is better looking No, I mean, I've been a harder bargain for sure. What if he gave you $5,000? Um at the time he pulls out a suitcase with $5,000 and he's like, hey, you know, no, isn't that crazy Okay, so no price no amount of money. Yeah, right Is that weird? No, I think I think that's straight as hell dude Yeah, so your pride for 10 million dollars 10 million bucks. Yeah for your pride 10 million joe You do one thing you don't think you'll ever do for 10 million dollars peck on the cheek. I don't know

Damn dude weird out angel hetero is hell joe is aggressively straight We can't penetrate those fortress. We know that guy didn't Dude, that's so funny. I'd be dude. How'd you feel? We like what the fuck was that? Or were you just kind of like shaking it off? It was like, well flattering I suppose No, he gave us turn no guys Guys, let me tell you something about mint mobile Man change is sponsored by mint mobile. We first heard that mint mobile offers premium wireless starting at just 15 bucks a month I thought what's the catch? You're telling me I could have a phone

I could use to like give young dudes my number and maybe pay them for sex that no one would know about There isn't a catch dude. What for 15 bucks a month Mint mobile can sell you wireless service online only does that make sense? Yeah, their secret sauce is that they're the first company to sell wireless service online only They cut the cost of retail stores and pass those sweet savings directly to you So You can get this phone you get a phone. I think you need like a a phone that's like Jailbroken they call it. You slide the sim card in 15 bucks a month wireless service. I'm going to use it for prank calls

I'm going to use that sounds awesome. I'm going to do mint mobile prank calls Hey, they brought rick moranis back didn't they? After he got punched in the fucking face I think before he got punched in the face who brought rick moranis back mint mobile. Man mobile Really? They didn't add with them. Well guys, let me tell you this all plans come with unlimited talk and text plus high speed Data delivered on the nation's largest 5g network 5g's. You know what that is? Verizon is the team Use your own phone keep your same phone number and all your existing contacts with any mint mobile plan

Switch to mint mobile and get premium wireless service starting at just 15 bucks a month to get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month and get the plan shipped to your door for free Go to mint mobile.com slash drenched. That's mint mobile.com slash drenched cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com slash drenched All right and done those ads hang over my head. I like to get them out of the way. What do we add timelines here? Right now we yeah, they brought back rick rick rick moranis after he got knocked the fuck out I think like two days before he got knocked down Um a bunch of kids and the group of young wasn't a group of young wasn't a group of young jewish kids And they should have had a they should have had a convenience store there

No, it's just some just some guy ran and and knocked him those kids I don't think they knew he was rick moranis I'm turning your squad. What the hell are you turning on gardini? What are you pulling up? He's trying to find the rick moranis getting trying to find again crushed If you hit the mute button on the on the find that bastard. Well, let's uh, what do you guys got coming up? We'll slide to the patreon Oh, actually, yeah, if you're in in near brooklyn come out to brooklyn comedy club me and lemare doing a 420 show

Andy and lemare save 420. It's in dire straits. Don't worry. We're gonna Pissed 420 sucks now. We're here to make it better. We're here to fix 420 And then uh, also check out panties in the mouth If you like that patreon.com slash pitm for a dollar you can get in with the panty boys. Please help me fix my car Yes, lemare needs help and uh twitch.tv slash andy malfredo. I twitch stream Murder murdoch what you got? Uh, I got shows all around. Where you going? People find where can they connect with you?

Where can they connect with me if you want them to if you don't want them to Oh, well, you know, I you mean online like yeah, you know, not your address Well, yeah, I'm on I'm on instagram, you know at Joseph e murdoch noise and you know My my filly's funniest tape is on youtube. Nice um

And you know, I'm all around I'm Where am I next? When does this come out? Tomorrow dude. Oh Jesus Some crazy turnaround. Yeah, well being Hershey next month Get out there. Okay. All right. I'm in random fucking places. It's okay. That's okay. Blue Earl All right. Well, they don't come check you on instagram. Get it. Don't get the download, bro. Yeah. Yeah, I have shows tap in How could we will tap in with you tap? Yeah All right, I'll be in my goobies tomorrow night for 20 no not well when you see this tomorrow night 4 21

McGooby's joke house And then bananas is the big one dude me said the kid Butler you're going up there The motherfucking superstar Sean Gardini you'll be hosting as well. It'll be his fucking birthday That's gonna be a big one and afterwards we're gonna fuck around. I'm gonna talk to bananas open it up I'll have a little bit of a uh, you know, suarez sash dude a little stoner dead sash alive Me and Sid fucked around in Austin, dude. It was Too fun Opened it up. It was a lot of fun. Well, like a little stoner dad's after the it was just me and Sid came up

Me and Sid when we when I've been going out me instead of been fucking around on stage afterwards. It's been very fun That sounds awesome. Yeah, it was it was actually Austin was a humongous victory for me So that was a lot of fun out there. So don't sell yourself short I will be cooped up for about six months after I have this Freaking baby. So yeah, dude's the slide of the page murder murdoch you demand