Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 395 - Partied Out (feat. Burke)

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @  patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Wuzgud. Last night was a MF movie. Matt had to move all day. Shane's shooting sketches erday. Burke joins the D.A.W.G.Z. for The Big Kahuna's first cast in the stu. Please enjoy. God bless. Support the show and get 15% off your first Raycon order at https://BuyRaycon.com/DRENCHED Support the show and get up to 34% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRENCHED at https://displate.com/mssp?art=6247403451297  

Start we're hot We're hot you gotta start wow wow. We're very hot right now. You gotta start dude guys People can't see my penis. I know short shorts. I'm going to some pretty short shorts myself I just fucking I told you last night. I shut target down hard as hell dude. I might be strictly a good fellow, bro The good fellow you wear a good fellow. Yeah, no good fellow. Yeah, I know those. Oh, yeah, I strictly wear a good fellow Dude these shorts 15 bucks. I got every single color. We look good It's just sweatshorts, dude There's sweatpants, but sure as I think you actually kind of look stylish because like 90s shit is in style right now

Is it really? Yeah, you are unironically in style. This is gym shorts. These this is gym uniform I saw these shorts and I'm like, this is Catholic school gym Catholic school gym uniform I bought a ton of pairs of them and I have a pair of white shorts and these that I particularly enjoy I'd like them a lot. You must really be showing a nose. That's a nice presentation. What's that white white shorts? Oh, you're talking about my bulge. Yes, your penis and Yes, you should see it's crazy. The white it on the light bounces off it. It's like I'd like to stop me the other day I was like, dude, the fuck's up with you. What they said, dude, what the hell's going on with your dick? Like you know, chill. Yeah, this didn't happen to me. Oh, no

We're fucking we are on the same page today. No, we're going we're fucking fire. We that's good No, that doesn't happen Shane. I'm lying. We got we got two links last night, bro That was the problem. We got you and me were vibing so hard. I felt good, dude It did it was been a while since we've vibed dude. It was and I found out fun that was to go out and dude It was like, you know how like like today I had a fucking brutal hangover Moving all of my shit in 96 degree heat, whatever it was today. Fuck just fucking hung over feeling shitty But it had so much fun last night the whole time. I was like, yeah, that was sick Oh shit, that's the best goddamn fucking beanbags. That was

Fucking fluffed your beans for you. Yeah, I think you can't have control. You can't have full control. This is what the fuck happens This is fucking we we're in a fucking old insane asylum Outside of Philadelphia in beanbags. Yeah, man. It's wasn't you've done it. You're out of your gourd. Yeah, well You've slept here a couple times. No, I haven't slept. I was gonna say every spookiest fuck dude You know what it would be very I don't know if I can handle it. No, no, I'm proud of myself I have not fapped in here. Hmm. I've never fapped in this place. It's a nice thing. It is nice Now you gotta keep that streak. I'm definitely gonna go do that before you close the lights off like she is true

I mean, I could have caught like telling you dude. I get like Like I will go so long without releasing that I'll just it'll like hurt right here I'll get like a pain. I don't come until I get hurts and I'm like I should just get this out of release. Get this out of it. Oh, you know what was sick when I went to I Hadn't done the road in a couple weeks and I had so I live with my girlfriend so I haven't been yeah using pornography Sure, I rarely use pornography and then I hit the fuck a hotel fucking whack-off It's so fun, dude When you lay off the porn for just a couple weeks. Yeah, and then you hit one by yourself

You don't need to you don't need to worry about performance. Yeah with your girlfriend You don't need to worry about your sexual performance. You get to just lay back and black off. Yeah, he's wack You should lay back and visit the master dude See the lay back and visit the master dude who knows what you really like you are you're your own master at that The lotion the towels Usually not a big lotion guy, but in the hotel. I'll get Do you really I get the balls to you get the thighs everything's Covered lubed up. Yeah. Oh, yeah get the arms. Yeah cucumbers on your eyes

Yeah, it's been big it's been pretty cool eight or nine tabs of videos of independent films going on all types of independent films You just you don't even know which one you want to release to that's not dude There's if I'm like I've been off the porn pretty hard and it's like every now and again Fire it up. You say, you know what man? I'll put fire It was dude It's like the body feeling I get when I know if I haven't watched porn forever when I know about the fire it up I get like I don't like drool But I get like real like like an amped up body like I'm like this really yeah, dude

It's like a relapsing thing. It feels like yeah, it feels like relapsing. Yeah on this. I drink under something Yeah, if you ever you got the bean correct, dude I don't gotta leave my passion. You gotta recline the bean you recline my bean which is throw it's Mine that night. I can't I let the bean I slide with the bean This these are the biggest beans to these these are big Joe's that's what I know you've got a problem What when you've outgrown beans? I Think it's nothing. You're just a man. Well, these aren't straight beans. I mean they have chair form

It's not straight circular ball beans. True. Dude. I've been sleeping. I I spent a lot of I'm not bragging I spent a lot of time on beans. I have these really nice like full length. You've seen my Yes, there's full body like lay down just fall down on I have one of those next to my Maya's bed so like when she wakes up in the middle of the night I mean her lay on this big bean bag, dude. I I've clocked like Double digits. That's really great last week. Oh, man. No, it's just very sweet. That is sweet Your dad before I was laying on my daddy. Oh, yeah, your daughter loved memories her whole life of listening to your So remember when I ain't seen you fucking ass naked in a rocking chair. That's there's a point

Terrifying you have to dude. You have to stop being naked around them. It's so hard to stop. I don't know you naked a lot I'm rarely. Yeah, it's not if you're not naked a lot. It's not hard to stop. It would be pretty You're naked you get home. You get the clothes come on. Yeah, I sleep. Yeah, pretty much I got my Airbnb That's just my the lady let me in and gave me a tour of the Airbnb at like 9 p.m. Really. It was very odd It was nothing sexual. I'm not saying that sounds a little bit like an independent film No, it does sound like the beginning independent film like that real estate one. Yeah property. I Think I've seen I've seen a couple of my favorite

Some hot real son answer whatever you the guy's like, hey, I got a film for my boss I gotta check out the house. I'll give you five G's if you know, we'll settle this deal right now Yeah, she really wants to sell it. I'm pretty sure that's like real life. I think that's a real deal. Definitely I think yeah, I think I urge you bring this up. I'm sure we had this exact Yeah, yeah, that's what they actually at a certain point if Market too long No, the

Focus oh, yes, so we get inside she takes her shoes off Fucking mask and she was like she's great. She's very sweet, but She's like took her shoes off. I was like, do you want me to take my shoes off too? She's like, yeah, if you could do that every time man. Oh, wow. She wants us to not wear shoes in the Airbnb Really guess what lady? Yeah, you gotta keep your sneakers on And then when I got in there there was a Kamala Harris book on the fucking counter Really? Yeah, who the fuck would buy that?

You've got to be a real dude. There's no chance. She read that. No, nobody read that fucking book No, it's like well my time as district of folks. It's like who gives a fuck. Oh, dude. It's it's crazy. She's Yes, check how many books Jill Biden sold This is a pretty fun fact really she wrote a book in like 200 copies got sold really JB Joe bud Jill his wife. Did you hear? She sold 250 books Did you hear about Yeah, I think I might have sold more books in her over the overlook is significantly more popular

I think so. I think I saw Fluff it up like Cole Amazon and say listen, we don't just fluff up make sure this doesn't get out Yeah, dude. Yeah, really well a lot of times what they end up doing is they'll buy a bunch of their books How did they not buy their own copy? Yeah, you buy your own copy exactly put it the best so it is astonishing that 250 people are that fucking dumb that they went out and bought a fucking Jill Biden book See, I mean, I can't imagine. I can't imagine how fucking bored you are There did your Kamala Harris had that big thing where she took a picture for Vogue magazine and she wore like Like like cool like casual clothes and like people like the first lady shouldn't wear that

And she just switched her whole outfit. It was like I'll wear like a Hillary Clinton suit. It was a scandal It was one of her first scant. Well, wait, which one come on Harris. Okay, so they were like the vice president shouldn't be wearing We're like chucks. Yeah, she tried to be like cool and cash and people were like the first lady shouldn't be dressed like that Yeah, so she like apologized and put on like a fucking Jetson suit. It was like is this better and people like much Saw that we're like, I remember they were mad at Obama's wearing a suit He's it's also funny because the Democrats always like remember Oh, but remember it like because it was during Trump when every day was like a wild controversy

Yeah, I remember the biggest fuck-up under Obama was him wearing a tan suit. It's like, I don't know I remember some other ones Obama Obama did some other things. Oh, yeah, remember when they lost all those guns Yeah in Mexico Remember when they were trying to give Chapito AK-47s and they ended up. Yeah losing them Get their hands on they all did they just killed a bunch of people with them Gaddafi got it. Good off. We got reamed Yeah, we're gonna off you did him dirty, man

They really did him dirty. They really did they let him speak in front of the whole you and like now Do you tell us about your fucking little green story? He had a little green book. I tried to read it. It was unreadable. Yeah, it sucked He was a little whacked. Yeah, I was like, this is this guy might be honest something Like a pan-African guy did he want Africa fucking unite? I think so probably under his rule Which is a sick way to be nice. I think a little bit But I think also his role was basically in keeping migrants He was the stopgap for like European countries Italy and Greece were like paying him off to basically stop basically keep did like put in detention like the central

Africans trying to come in to and then he died and you know They don't have a guy doing that no more So he was trying to keep you wait. He was trying to keep He was the last he was basically Mexico. Yeah Stop immigrants. Yeah, but um, wasn't he Was it in the fucking most that can't get you out of my head guy Adam Curtis Wasn't he in the Adam Curtis doc or one of them probably about how like The US was kind of just using him though

I mean obviously the whole time and he like they made him take credit for like a terrorist attack Yeah, they blamed him. They just blamed him and he was like, okay sick. I'll be like, yeah, I'm the bad guy Yeah, I am powerful. Yeah, and then he didn't do it and the US knew that and then they were like I don't know dude imagine You're chilling you're right in and they take the people like you were people yeah And they cut another country poisons like your entire nation's mind against you and then they come in you they murder you Yeah, you're chilling you're doing it like people apparently people loved him. I you know again from what I've seen I don't know. Maybe he did some bad stuff, but like he probably did some bad stuff

You're in the Middle East rule and you're doing a couple things. Yeah, fuck around. Yeah, dude He got your whole country gets turned or I think there's always they just identify people who don't like them. They're like, yeah Yeah, great. So they did I guess it on were we talking about that with Louie on the podcast With Saddam getting hung Yeah, I think we did I think we might have Screaming just screaming dudes you get fucking hung Shut up to a guy Before we get hungry, that's pretty cool

About to get hung on a dude's like fuck you just shut the fuck up, dude He's a real charmer the guy who had to watch him in jail wrote a whole article about just you know Watching Saddam and just you know, yeah, just kidding. He was a real he could say he's a sweet talker He'd ask if he'd find out about your family and remember their names. He loves cigars He was like a he's just a remember your families, dude. Yeah, you would go get them if you started actually Oh, yeah, he was quite the list man. You ever watch what he you ever see the video of him like taking power No, and make it. Oh, yes All this and he's like here are the here are the traders. Yeah, then he made the other guys

Execute those dudes. Yes, you show me how you get you show me that That's powerful shit. Yeah, that was in the Netflix stock It's like that's like a tactic like a very good business tactic. Yeah, make your support It's kill each other. Yeah, yeah Squid games total squid games Arab squid games. Sure Yeah, dude, but yeah, Joe Biden's book was probably my book was a fucking All she had to write about was like, yeah, I actually knew she probably met Saddam Hussein couldn't sell 200 copies She should have like I sucked his dick. Yeah, sucks it on like full slut literature

Like oh, that one funny. She wrote like instead of like a presidential type shit if it was like Like Chelsea like hey vodka. It's me I was getting my pussy Hey, well buterin. It's me Joe Biden. Yes Oh Yes, you should have outed her son. She should just destroyed. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Destroyed her She should tell all on hunter dude. She should start. She should be like, yo my husband definitely molest kids I have proof in my book trying to sell this book. She needs to get to part two going

Yes, dude You should fucking ghost write it. I might yeah, you'd be good at that ghost writing Joe Biden's book You did the fucking that pants video you made years ago. It was fantastic. Thank you could write a You could write a fan fiction. Yes, it's not a bad idea You could write a biography for Joe Biden or Hunter. I might as I was gonna be so sick I don't know. Yeah, but Hunter had a right a nice guy. I don't write a bio for Hunter as Hunter We're so fucking heavy pretty tight. Yeah, dude. I was doing crack though. Like you'd be good at it You're good at writing on behalf of those types of guys. Thank you. I might I wanted to write the Mike Pence

Personal just What did his father do how many siblings did it Pence have probably for who's favorite He was very close to one of them right his sister. I don't know all I know is Indiana Paul no, no, no, I'm trying to help with the ghost writing process. I mean you got to paint a picture Paul pants Yeah, I don't know dude. I'm telling you actually change his name. It's short. He shortened it from pencil Yeah, and he is not gay include throughout the bio by the way a guy tried to fucking put a hit on me and I said no It should be like his early years are constantly fending off like homosexual advances Whole time in Indiana. Just yeah, two boys in a cornfield

Just keep trying to suck his dick. They're chapped hands in their jean jackets. It's kind of like it's cold out here Can't be out here eat your ass in a cornfield Fucking it's sucking guys out here. There's corn. It is cold ass frigid weather. Well, I gotta fuck your ass It's fucking cold ass cornfield. There is it can get too cold for a fucking. Did you ever have sex outside in the winter? No, I did it in high school, dude. It was the weirdest thing in the world That's crazy. I had sex in the winter time outside. It's like a park It's freezing. Yeah, I there's a poisonous of parks in the cold. It was so cold certainly I don't know why I did that. It was the dumbest thing ever

I remember just being like this is the dumbest thing although I will say you know how like when it's winter time You hop in in jacuzzi when it's winter time and you slide up in dude. It's Wow That's gotta be nice. Yeah, that's pretty warmth goes from there throughout your whole body The war that's really that's actually kind of nice. Yeah warmth of your love. Yeah, love making. It was pretty nice Did you orgasm? Oh, of course. How did you orgasm? Yeah, I believe oh, yeah for sure in the night. I'm right hood. No, it was like a park. It was okay raw Oh

High school, I was actually good. I was good about condoms in high school. Yeah, they scared you when you're kid Well, dude, you're gonna get well AIDS was still a thing while we were kids. I was AIDS is like Catholic school, they didn't tell you. Oh, yeah, you're in New York with the boys. Yeah. Yeah, they told us about a you Were in you were a boy. Yeah Didn't say anything. I only our teachers ever mentioned AIDS throughout my high school and grade school once yeah Well, it was the generation before like people in their 40s 50s. Yeah, really Really got scared about it, but I can't imagine they even tell kids anymore because it's like it's pretty Taking care of yeah outside of commercials non-stop. Yeah prep is fucking AIDS commercials on TV now really pretty often

Pretty sick. I want to get the original HIV vaccine the vaccine. I'm gonna get that see what it does No, I want to get back It against HIV don't get AIDS and don't fucking prevent it. Just get it and let it fuck you up Oh, let it go every pocket. You're dying pretty quick. I think I can probably be dates Just do it as a gag for the pocket. Just slowly Dissintegrate that'd be funny. That'd be really funny actually, you know, so we're like turtlenecks and Be sad that is sad it is sad that the boys got fucking rabbit Beautiful guys in the in the world just slowly and they're having melting away fucking fun. Yeah blast dude

They're doing it was wild fun. Yeah, there must have been so many times like guys You believe we're having this much fun. Look guys. This will never end. This is the best if the five of us loved Fucking each other's asses It would be non-stop. I do it if we were in here right now. There'd be no podcast. That's for sure I mean my problem. I think it's so bitchy too. Oh my god. I have so much attitude You would have so much here. I'd have the poster like dear Lord. Please help all my friends be fatter than me I saw a gay guy had that poster on time. I was a kitten with its paws like this You think so the kitten with its paws the dear Lord, please like basically all my friends fatter than me

I was like, dude, what a beast. I wonder how how would that age though? Like if we were like a gay five-piece Like a gay five-piece house is fucking. Yeah, but like I'd be so jealous though You think so I saw someone putting their hands on you without me. Oh, man. That would be yet Fucking think of our milky thighs Dude our vein we'd be tracing each other's veins through our fucking guys all day You know, how would that age once you get in like your fifties like what would you do? I think the boys keep party Yeah, 11 party. Oh, you just find young boys. Yeah, then you said you get bank So you can go get younger hotter boys and the party

Dude you if you oh my god of all of us were like, yo, let's put our heads together and pull our money for like To get trapped a younger hotter boys easily. I think that's the whole like fire island I mean every summer catch them true. Yeah We go rogue on this and really start capturing some boys. If there's five of five dudes working together We could accomplish a lot We could do a lot 19 dudes did 9-11 true Would be funny though to penetrate You know, no pun intended to pen like they like go undercover as a hetero guy

Yeah, but to see if you could get like the full inner workings, but you just never would put out though inner workings of what the homosexual community Yeah, and just I like just get like I don't know if it's like a crime Yeah, but like to see like what the brodowns like Full set up with the party's fucking nice dude. I think there's I think there's got to be the best party possible No, it's just you and blow. How long do you think you could get away with not putting out though? I'm not tonight. Not tonight. I think that could be a kink. You could be honest first party I think it'd be a bit bit of a kink that you could be the guy who doesn't put out I think they could actually like that. Yeah, you twist it the right way. I think party one. Someone's on your ass, dude

Well, this is why you have to go into the community. That's why you have to get in there because we don't know Going to a gay bar and pretending to be gay all night be so fun is not doing anything Yeah, all night long be bitchy to guys bitchy as hell dude are you kidding me with those Never I want to do that. You think we'd be passable That's the moment. That's either like the undercover moment where they're like you a cop Yeah, and then you have to like are you actually have to do something sexual to like yeah, what'd you do that? You're not a cop. True. Would you go on your own fingers? I would be like I'm not gay or I am gay

Think I'm a cop Oh for sure you think they like what type of what type of shit talk would you say like say? I say you're at the gay bar. You're being bitchy dude a guy like Burke comes up and says fucking yes You're bogey Burke comes up and says hey Cool moves man. I like your moves And then what are you gonna say back to him great dancing? It's like you couldn't handle these moves, huh? And I come after I said love to try whoa, I would stop stop me my tracks. Oh yo You go, what's your name?

Yeah, you're not like the rest of these guys, what's your name? Yeah, oh you're bold you have from around here Are you now? I'm buying you a high noon. Oh, and I'm not taking no for an answer I think that would all have you'd end up just like getting black it out and kissing Eventually it's you become the life that Donnie Brass cut thing or like those undercover guys You're like join the neo-nazi gangs and then like just kind of start getting into traffic guns and like doing meth and stuff Like you'd get into it and you you'd be in so you'd call your wife at night. You know, I got to get out of this I I'm into deep but like you kind of love it. Yes. Yeah, that's true. You're in the community now. Did you see? Did you watch it's white lotus?

I didn't see that I saw I saw what I heard I heard you reveal there with the what the one saying the father. Oh That was very I think that's that's the only non independent film rimming. I've ever seen dude. That's Bro, there's see asshole, but you see settling dude men. Yes. Yeah and rimming a guy talking a younger employee And it's a filth to this dude It was it was jar because I was like are there anything making out you walk in the reveal because you're like they're in there Like take he's like making his younger like male employee take a shirt off It's like giving him drugs and stuff And he's like we're gonna have a lot of fun and then they cut to like some other guy

He's like walking in the office and they open it up and these guys just getting his ass eating And then by a dude with a mustache and it's just like what the it's wild. Would you either guys ask Sean? Yeah, no, even if you use your employer you're an older guy you looked up to How much money You probably like I Do under a milli for sure you guys ask them a million. Yeah, and you're all yanked up any drug you like Yeah, you're numb. I don't like you're fucking numb. You can smoke like you told me you were doing a bunch of cocaine with your friends That's not what I said

Mr. Mrs. Gardini Sean's been doing cocaine at the beach. Why would you say such I haven't been at the beach dude soft season? You go down the beach in the winter John goes to the beach in the winter and does cocaine Sean's been going down to the beach with his buddies and doing Cocaine desolate cold beaches Mr. Mrs. Gardini Sean's been doing cocaine Shane's lying. Well, you know, he's a comedian I think you scared him straight. No more of that stuff might have been talking to you need it. All right, and I'll do I won't say

What would the fentanyl and all that? We don't need that Unless you want to eat a guy didn't that guy die which guy a lot of there was a guy Yeah, he was like he was like a like one of those no bullshit dating type guys It was like an older black dude who would yes break women down. Yeah fentanyl. Oh, Samuels Yeah, we watched a couple of those very fun that bitch. Oh that would just be talking to women I'd be like, yeah, well you're fucking 30 and you you're not you live you you're a whore. You have a No, we want you you're used up Like next call tough talk. You have like a turtleneck and a metronome going behind them

Damn rock. Yeah, it was crazy. They just fucking bought a bad bag. Is that is that now what they're thinking? They thought he was doing he thought he's doing coconut fentanyl That's bullshit, dude. Somebody needs to cut that out whoever's doing that should stop Yeah, it's fucking shitty talk to narcos do talk to chapito. You think chapito is down there doing it? Yeah, they did knock it off. I don't understand how I mean, I guess if you get there Maybe you get the ratio right like I don't understand what the business model is I was there's always there's a rumor that other cartels are doing it to other cartels And then there's other ones where if they put in heroin it makes the heroin great

Yeah, it's always the rumor the always the thing is like if somebody dies off heroin everybody goes that dealer That's confirmed. Yeah, that's confirmed. I believe it. I know someone who's like, no, it's genuinely like yeah I mean we can go ask after this. We can go outside and go ask and like yeah, yeah around here is nice But yes a mile the other thing too. Do you like to get your balls squoze right at the tip of that that heroin hide You get can I kick you in the nuts right when you're peeking right as it enters you can do this You literally if you wanted to I want you to pay like 300 bucks to like just absolutely kick it Do the nuts are you 25 bucks? Yeah, we could go down there for very cheap Oh, yeah, there's that's a whole thing like there's a there's like a you can watch tiktoks and shit of black dudes making crackheads

Do funny things. Oh, yeah, the milk crate challenge. They were making the boys run around. That's pretty good I saw one of the dude try to do a backflip just crack this skull And they all laughed everyone was like Yeah, I feel like that that might look worse with us. I feel like You and I What type of bidding are we talking here? I think just squeezing Squeezing knots punching. Yeah punch him in the belly You should learn like you should train MMA and like try new moves and go outside and be like 20 bucks

Let me try this fucking spinning backfist. Yeah You can work on real dudes. Oh, you could for sure You can beat the fuck out of those guys you could pay that you'd generally pay them a rest of you That would be sick like let's start because you would dominate those dudes I know they're like they don't have much feeling but they're very weak. Yeah malnourished. Yeah, you could royal rumble You could you could give them each 30 bucks and be like we're doing a royal rumble Keep tossing out the rings not not to be ashamed of self fucker. That was a one of the characters in my book That does this what's that? He pays homeless dudes to fight him

He gets pissed off and he goes down there. He's like give it. He'll give him like 50 bucks It'll just make we got a fight. Yeah, I remember that please stop. Please stop. He's like, come on. Let's go for real Yeah, but he beats shit up piece of fuck. That's awesome. It's pretty fucked up Yeah, you can do this Of course, you could ease you just go down there and just fucking sneak one of these dudes You can literally get him. I'm you don't even need to pay you can just assault them But the problem is though the problem is you be down there doing this and then pop might see you down there Poppy might see you just like tea and off on dudes and like what the fuck's good. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that is his money

Yeah, that's his money. And also I think I think people be yeah, pop. You'll be like leave these dudes alone Yeah Wouldn't love stop Guys getting other just kicking all kicking junkies in the nuts. Yeah, no, it's not a good look. No, my one dude My one boy He wasn't he wasn't like going and beating up junkies. He was just down there like K&A partying He would like, you know, like, you know, you've blacked out you wake up like what the what? He would black out down there wake up in his car to like Puerto Rican dudes trying to get into his car to pack it

I Do heroin on Kensington you must wake up to hellish fights, dude. He's he's often he stayed in like crack houses down He like chilled in those houses weeks at a time Very nice to go down and give a dude a pedigree That'd be nice get his arms. Oh my god moves. You could do these guys. They're like 90 pounds a lot of these guys Oh, yeah, they're skinny. You could do fucking wild a pedigree would be the funniest move pop The stomach get one on the other you can easily go down in the room would be fucking why you go to me to swing it on you So easy that defend yourself. It's like

Pudge me you have no camera you literally up up and down the block like bitch Broke-ass bitch Oh, that's fun, dude Stone in a fucking crack a heroin guy. Yeah, let's get a straight night. You want to use on a crack They go along with the suplex dude. If you got a vertical They'd step it up. You'd be a sweet little treat for them. Yeah, what good suplex Blood would go It's all about mixing up the chemicals do it's all about shaking that magic April fall probably all the time

Coming back into consciousness like mid-soup You're the apex of a suplex you just like go back online like where am I right now? I mean Yeah, it's crazy. This is the only thing I've been seeing because every day we've every time we've filmed we filmed in like north Yeah, we filmed a couple times like you saw it where we were was wrong You got to drive through that shit. It's the wildest shit. It's dude. I've never I mean I would see it sometimes going to our old place dude. It's a it's a fucking different country man

It's terrible. It's nuts. It's really and then I went over to England and it was like well Yeah, how was it nice? It was nice. Really? It's fucking nicer in America. Yeah, the fuck That's kind of bullshit. We're the best. I mean we are we're still the best. England's nice as fuck. It was nice And then it's funny too because like you know people like I've done it like this the murder capital You know, you're like there's a lot of crime for some reason people get very prideful about like oh, yeah Oh, yeah, yeah Erisburg's top five again on the murder list. Oh, yeah, it's like Why everybody's but in England they would do the same thing but it's so much that they'd be like no use

Some tough places here like no, they're like stabbing. It's not even close. No, dude. Yeah, there's no guns They had I was showing this one dude Adam. He's very funny. He's a comedian over there We were on I was on his pockets and we I was like, I haven't seen a homeless person There's no homeless. Really? There's a few. Yeah, it's nothing dude. Yeah They're like, no, we get it pretty bad. I was like show. I was like put Kensington Ave up on the fucking screen This is what Philly's what they say. They're like, holy fuck. Yeah, it's it's never seen anything like that play And it's so bad because it's under the fucking train. So it's always dark truly hellish. There's people outside Shooting up in broad daylight. Yeah, like outside falling out

You will see someone shooting up when you drive down that street. Yeah, but they have needle parks Like they have parks. They're just people shooting up and cops just sit there and they're like whatever. Yeah, it's fucking It's a tragedy. Yeah, it stinks. It's a real tragedy. Get better guys guys. Stop doing it. You fucking idiots You're making it bad. You know the fucking start working out. You know, yeah, take some magnesium I was talking magnesium Finally I've been dying dude, so get this so I've been running experiments obviously no I'm still at a standstill with my fucking nasal cavity I might just have to have them like busted open. I told you that bust me wide open

I told you that I thought I did I thought I made games thought you could press this And eventually it would I mean dude, it's it's not bad. It's getting better. This is excellent. I Mean we want the tapes go back How did it have changed? I don't know. I feel like one time they told me I had like a 80 something percent blockage and it went down to like 35. Maybe just bogey. You're like I think it went down one time because I went to an ear nose and throat guy twice You'd think you had 60 percent boogers. It might have been On it on the x-ray might have been boogers. You might have been a ton of boogers

But dude, that's probably medically sound Yeah This is why did you ever do a netty pot? Yes, dude I started netty pot and I'm like, I think I could just like irrigate with water just like start this is yes This is no you can't do that. Maybe you think water is gonna erode your nose It's a roads fucking sand. Yeah over a fucking million years. Yeah, it's a rock This is just nasal passage. It's one million years. Yeah, dude Dude water stronger than you think do you ever think about that? I believe water is strong, dude. I'm I believe you

So you're using a netty pot and you think it's gonna Might erode some of the here's the thing maybe I don't know But it cleared out so many boogers that I in my head. I was like, I think I gained like four percent That's probably true. I think it was just I think it was just boogers to be fair There's probably bugs, so I'm talking the nose is like, you know, that's at a standstill But here's I can report back your nose works at a standstill right my nose works out of total sand still I haven't been mouth-taping though. So I haven't been out. So I have been kind of I have been slacking But what the fuck are you doing? I haven't been I'm saying I have not been mouth-taping and that's you tape your mouth shut at night

Well, you still yeah, you tape your mouth shut and just breathe through your nose I've talked about this before the nose is at a standstill so we can't be doing tape. So yeah, we Know I just I just I just think dude. I'm just lazy bro. I'm lazy. I'm spoiled right now No, you need to breathe as hungry as you used to be not hunger Experiments on your nose and mouth, but I've been running a nice experiment on magnesium. I'm sorry to keep coming You're fucking wife must You taped your mouth shut at night. Yeah, she's down If I was getting into bed with someone they were like, oh, it's bedtime. I

Would be like what the fuck have I told you I would just go Take that the fuck off your mouth. It's so I'm doing an experiment But that's at a standstill dude magnesium is the real deal okay magnesium is It is it what do you got going on bro? You know how I used to not be able to drink coffee. Yes, there you've seen I see you just bad can't drink it dude up. Yeah so Apparently magnesium and there's like so many different types of magnesium. There's like magnesium citrate, which makes you milk of I don't know about local magnesium. Is that laxative?

Magnesium site magnesium citrate makes you shit like it'll it helps you absorb water into your intestines So if you take magnesium citrate, you blow it out nice even if you like eat epsom salts You'll just shit everywhere really. Yeah magnesium citrate as far as if you want to blow it out I do like getting a solid cleanse blow out dude take some magnesium everyone's mom like I might just go buy lax for no reason So I get laxatives and just blow it out. Yeah, citrate is like you could Tell you it's it's nice. Yeah, dude. I love you laughing. Is that funny? No, it's not funny to me. No, you never considered getting a hard blowout. Just for the heck of it. It's an ask

Yeah, I fucking When you're done diary, you're still like Yeah, that's the best you love that. Yeah, no, I have the fucking what's the water up your ass spray in the toilet Oh, she I got the I got the bidet and I love I don't need I don't I do that's natural the power I use the power of water like epsom salt so I keep it going and basically I enema my butt Like even when I'm done I know there's more in the chamber and then you can really start spraying you probably run a couple butt experiments What me? Yeah, I haven't done the colonic

I mean not not much really just clean. That's my only experiment. I'm pretty silver to mentally with my butt Maybe do a colonic. Yeah, the magnesium. I'm telling you. Yes, the man knees Yeah, so I couldn't drink coffee and I didn't know about this I was just like I was taking magnesium because everyone's like it helps you sleep Which dude you gives you if you have to take certain types like magnesium bike lysinate That's the one I take take it at night time. You have like vivid dreams pass out like it dude It's so what happens is whenever the very dream I had really what was it got cheated on in my dream I'm sorry, buddy. It was like last week. I was fucking pissed. Oh, really?

Did you get mad at her the next day? Yeah, I was pissed. I told her you did the girl thing Yeah, I did the girl thing and I told her I was like you're being a fucking slut Yeah, knock it off. You're up to something and in the dream. They were mean to me what her and her lover I caught them and they just went straight to being mean to me like yeah, dude, obviously just fucking me All you do is sit around play Xbox What the fuck Yeah, it was bad Weird actually so a week ago. I not even a week ago three days ago. I had a dream with I think it was either

I think it was a mystery lady who was just cheating on me the same thing. Yeah, very similar thing sucks Cuz anytime I have those dreams. I always act like I never would really act. I'm always such a bitch I'm always like, but I loved you. Oh, I mean that's I would never do that I was just grumpy caught someone cheating in real life. It's fuck. Are you what the fuck is this? Suicide and I would probably murder suicide. Yeah, I Dream you just it's hard to say it's hard to say break up dreams like that like where a girl be like I don't love you anymore And I'll be like but I need like I'd like beg. Yeah, that's weird. It's weird. That is interesting

Fucked up or something No, you're just a lover dude. You need some magnesium lover needs a magnesium. Yeah, actually you don't because you're gonna have more of the dreams Where's dude? So here's here's a thing fucking girlfriend. Yeah, I'm so sorry. Oh, yeah Nuts you get like weird like ballsack porn Someone else's balls That would piss me off. That would be so annoying dude. Just watch like it like a fucking close-up janetalia penetration shot Just getting head for like waiting We skip you're like, come on. Yeah, that'd be terrible. That's actually almost

If your girl just blew a guy walking in on that you liked him that much Yeah, that was me the fuck well, sorry. No, it's totally fun, dude so So apparently what happens is again with all the different types of magnesium There's certain types of magnesium that are like the precursors to like the stuff your body needs to make to chill you out So like if you're like constantly adrenalized, you're constantly just like burning Yeah, you're just constantly just being stressed out your body's like it's physical materials It's sending to calm you down and it uses them up and you become depleted

And it's hard to relax because you don't like the precursors of serotonin are like one of part of its magnesium If you don't have enough magnesium, you can't make enough serotonin and a precursor serotonin is a precursor to Melatonin so it's like if it like that's why people don't get good sleep and what was happening to me is I wow I had redlined myself stress wise stress dude start taking magnesium chelate I think chelate whatever it's called a magnesium by glycinate Dude, I started taking this like months ago. I didn't even notice. So, you know, I was getting good sleep I'm like, that's kind of nice dude. I can drink coffee now Like I can have a cup of coffee and I'm not spun out. That's great

It's fucking having a cup of coffee. It's great had one today. I wouldn't have fucking made it with it It does rule dude have a cup of coffee and moving at 97 degrees rules. That's what are waking up, dude I'm sorry. I couldn't have it. I couldn't have it that fucking sucks. I would like to have I feel bad for you. Yeah, but I know it's your shit. So it's a little easier Yeah, when it's my when I always had to move for people. Yep. Yeah, everybody in my family big dog Yeah, they'd get shame and I'd get signed up every day Every aunt and uncle every fucking cousin all that I get into I get into like going for I got today I was in full machine mode of just like no sleep

Again, the the fun of the party. I was riding that all morning. I'm like it is always nice to have a hangover. That's Worth it worth it. Yeah, it's fun And I again when you smoke a lot of weed it cuts the hang it cuts the physical side It really cuts the kind of bummer side of the hangover So I had like a headache, but I was just sitting there being like I'm just gonna go with this headache I woke up and I felt so bad about kicking those people out of that. You should not feel I know I shouldn't it was just the anxiety to hangover. I mean, it was a shitty move, but it was funny It was so funny, dude. Yeah, it was so if someone did that to me and I found out later

I mean, also, I didn't want them out of the bar. I just wanted to have the waiters come over and say move away from this section You're true. That's all I was your attention. It was once they started the flashlight and like getting in the dude's face I was like, this is fucking great. It's pretty funny. Yeah, I mean that that environment again. It's like Yeah, it all depends man. That could have been a very important night out They could have been with people look out True. He could have been I mean, they probably were they were up there wearing wristbands. They were probably with yeah I mean, dude, if I got I don't know. Yeah, I guess I guess most people would not see the humor But it would have been funny if it happened to one of us like if they if just randomly they came up to like O'Connor

A Gardini like you have to that would have been the move. You have to go inviting people hang out VIP And they get him kicked out is the move haven't text you and just be like, what the fuck what you do? Nothing, but dude, they said you said you grab one of these wait Just fully fuck like dude, don't worry. I got you covered. I'm They're not gonna press charges of friends with them. But dude, what the fuck they did you grab the waitress's ass You screamed a slur you screamed a slur and grabbed the waitress's ass Yeah, that'd be fucked up magnesium is working for you dude. It was crazy That was it. That was it. I had a cup of quite an entire cup as a small boy, but it was like

No problem. Yeah, usually what happens to me. I drink coffee I'm euphoric for a while. That's true. It's the best and then I kind of crashing it tired And then I go to go to bed that night I get like intense like jitteriness and like hours later now You make I'm sorry magnesium is known for if you take Adderall or coke it kind of for the come-downs Really? I might have seen that on reddit if you're one of those guys. Yeah, it's a little yeah Magnesium is known as a stimulant might kind of makes a come-down not so bad what as you were saying so sorry Yeah, we were taking Molly. They would give us those something. It was it wasn't gab

Five htp. Yeah, yeah five htp There's a lot of Stuff we get like there's these things that are like that's the thing that like geeked me out the most how like because what happens They say with antidepressants is that you're just forcing your body to constantly like be like I don't know if it's like making serotonin I think they like inhibit the reuptake, but you're like your body's making more serotonin than usual And it like runs out of shit to make it with so it's like you're you start getting intense cravings for carbohydrates and sweets Because you need the carbohydrates to make serotonin. That's why so many people get so fat

Whoa, but you keep but then it keeps pulling all these minerals out of your body to continue making serotonin You get to plead it from magnesium So the bros are on the fucking I don't like those antidepressants me the bro But there's you're probably on them. Oh, yeah, since I was like 15. Really? Yeah, go up in Manhattan Everybody yeah, everyone's on them. Yeah, I did some bad acid when I was 15 and I started I got a little agoraphobic didn't leave the house and you know at that time that was the the thing a little

Zoloft it did help me like get out of house and shit I probably seeing as I'm fucking 33 now I could probably get off them dude the withdrawals are with that's also one of the reasons I'm such a sleepy drinker because the whole time. I've been a drunk fuck. I'm an idiot obviously dude I've never seen anyone else do what you do. Yeah. Yeah, you know. Yeah Yeah, but the out some what you know who else is on that fucking shit No, but I do understand when you even say one certain like pills and stuff. There's a lot of shame. I get it Yeah, so yeah, we're taking something every day. There's a shame. No, you know with the hairpills. Yeah, taking them

I forgot if we talk about on the page and I was like, yeah, no taking something every day does feel weird cuz yeah You're really I've been taking a lot of items now. Yeah, I think I have no problem doing those. Yeah That's the one good thing about COVID. It got me on my vitamin. My vitamin. It's crazy right now. That's why I'm so fucking healthy Yeah, true. COVID made me healthy as hell funny Yeah, dude, that shit was why she was freaking me out your body running out of it like the basic ingredients of the stuff You know, yeah, I think I think I've run out a little bit You know the magnesium you could saddle up Yeah, yeah, you don't seem like it's every time I'm around you're very cheerful and fun

But yeah, I'm seeing you, you know, that's the tears of a clown my friend. That is very sweet Every you know Yeah, no, I'm pretty it's pretty good. Yeah, the withdrawals from those things are apparently pretty wicked. Yeah, brain zaps Yeah, let's try it. Maybe the next couple days. I won't take them see what happens Yeah, while you're staying with me. Yeah, yeah, it'd be great someone someone one time was saying they got a migraine for like 28 days straight Yeah, that's all these dudes on Adderall. They're that's gonna be oh, man. That's gonna be a tough They're gonna make something. Well, they put yeah, it's weird cuz they prescribed I feel like the only way they can prescribe them is it's like all those pills they take every day

Yeah, which unless you're an idiot, you know, like no, you're not supposed to take fucking dude Adderall all day Everyone takes fucking Xanax at night fucking Adderall during the day. That's a crazy and like combination for teenagers Yeah, so common in this in the in the big city It's so dude Adderall's as common as it gets now. Yeah, everybody's much that shit. Yeah, every girl It is the perfect girl drug. It is talked about this bunch, but dude. They love it. They don't eat. They're fucking happy They're yapping. Yeah, that homework. Yeah, you can focus on the crafts. You can focus on all their fucking calligraphy or whatever Dude, I read this

I was reading this. Do you ever hear the secret of the golden flower? No, it's like an ancient. It's like a It's like a Chinese it was like a book from China about like It's kind of like kind of like Buddhism, but it's a similar like mystical text But the one in the very beginning they talk about the only thing that made me laugh is in the beginning They were saying how like women basically don't like move past the earth Like the only dudes can like cultivate. It's just you you circulate the light within your body and eventually you're training yourself So what you die you become such an awareness that you can enter Non-physical space, but they're like, yeah girls can't do this at all. Girls can't girls can't get out of earth

Girls are there's like girls are just earth creatures. Yeah, kind of like here They're like only a dude You're not one of us dude was making me laugh so hard that some old Chinese do is like yeah girls can't do this Only dudes can exit their bodies Girls are just like earth creatures Man, I actually That's such that's a I disagree. That's a ruthless fucking Psyop, you know fight. That's why you guys can't go to fucking heaven, dude

Like what? Girls can't go to heaven. Girls don't get to go to heaven. It's just guys. You guys are earth creatures What do you guys suck? You guys are pure gaya Guess they're pure gaya They're pure earth creatures do they don't they can't cultivate they can't circulate the light and leave the body that would be fucking chill You get to heaven just just the dude's like, yeah Yeah, that's when the sucking starts that's when the real sex but in heaven. There's no you don't need to suck You don't need to get sucked. Oh, you're just just all this There's just a rose that's an orb the bar. Oh, that is having just the bros at the bar

It is heaven dude when just like last night. I was in absolute heaven. That was bliss told you dude that that week I would listen about like Chinese dudes getting like pulled out of their house and like beaten in like a cement barracks And I was like, dude, I actually wouldn't be mad if someone came took me and beat me Just some like just some like arm of the state came and just beat me in like a secret location and held me I'd be like dude. I'm gonna sleep for like three days This would not be bad That'd be nice. Just the state to come down on me the state. Yeah, rip me right out of my house Country's the state does come down on you pretty good

There has to be dudes who are arguing with their wives while the state rips them out of their house for covid No doubt. There's like a little get pulled out and you're just kind of like, where are we going? Yeah They that is bliss though watching the bros at the bar just seeing your buddy having fun. Yeah, it's very I love seeing spade having fun Yeah, Billy dancing big Billy fucking the Oka man buzzing. He was buzzer. Connor was you might have wings last night He was flying dog. He was flying Damn It's just fun to watch the bees sitting on his phone having fun bees is plugged up. He is locked in He is one with the bug. I want to check his screen time, bro. I need to check his screen time. He's gotta be

It's gonna be crazy. He's big games guy. What is he doing candy crush fucking games? He's everything bro. Wow He gets a full phone experience every day He is he might be in the metaverse you might even the first year metaverse Yes, there's dude. He's in there. He is the visa verse It's just dea. He doesn't microdoses DMT all day He's blazing blazing like it was a fucking cigarette when I saw dude, that is the weirdest He's like, yeah, we gotta turn up the music This is great

That's the weirdest drug to just party on I can't understand. I don't know what he's not doing it now still I know he's not like a pile of it or something Yes, and he would just crush it you get home from like helium and just Yeah, but like if you don't smoke enough of it, it's a weird feel you get like hot and just fucking feel weird Yeah, I didn't do enough. I've never I never took off on it. Told you I got fucking smunched on chocolate. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, what happened on this dude? I got it was just nuts. I smoked it the first time I got fucking the crab I got tortured dude. I smoked it the first time didn't smoke enough and was just It sucked I laid I like laid there with my eyes closed and was hot my heart beat really fast

And I was like this definitely isn't it and then I waited I'm like I'm not doing this again Thomas But talk me into it. Yeah, so I was like I'm gonna smoke as much as I can of this stuff and make sure I blast off So you're like you just smoke it until you physically can anymore. Yeah, so I took it kept doing it kept doing it Finally, I want to go in for another one and just literally it feels like like if like we're like, you know We're in here. There's like a you know space we're all seeing it feels like at this thing Just got like stepped on it's scrunched and then you're just in a whole different dimension And it do there was this fucking like Snake like kind of creature thing just laughing in my face. It's like you fucking idiot. What the fuck are you doing here?

Like I thought you were gonna appreciate your day-to-day reality is when I did the five grams mushrooms I was so at one point. I was so gone. I was like, I can't wait. Just go back to my life, dude I'm gonna be so good in my day-to-day reality I'll be so good to everybody and then I came to five and like, you know slowly you kind of like veer off it as Soon as I got in that DMT realm this fucking weird entity like clear as day and I get all like a checkerboard room with like Weird neon colors everywhere. This thing was in my face like you fucking idiot. Look at you now I was like, oh, no, I was on the couch going. No, no Dude just bugging that sucks. It was terrifying dude fucking blows

Terrifying, but I'll say that boy fucking just sat there and fucking ten minutes You are a beast of Just chilled I got absolutely harangued and just degraded and then but the cool thing was I Like that kind of faded out and then I was just in this like very dark room with like shadow figures And they pulled there like there's no reason to bug out and they pulled what looked like a shadow of me out of me And we're just like see this these are all your negative fellow patterns and just threw it away and I just popped out And I was just like what the fuck was that it was it's crazy. How long does it take? Dude, it's like no was like out of it for ten minutes. I was five minutes and I was back

Like I'll but it's like everyone's like you're back right away It's like you're back, but you're like fundamentally changed at least for that like that week, dude You're a different dude just bobbing around all day like what the fuck you know, that's what would happen to me I would not have the no experience. I would go in and have the bad time, but I want to do it again I Want to do it again because my brother was just like dude. That's just a hang-up. You have to transcend it I'm like I want to see if I can get past the fucking evil jester. I don't want to get the fucking Mushrooms, I'll never do that again

Yeah, that's trip. I'm out. Yeah, that was I saw it. I sucked. I got what I needed I'm out. I got what I needed though. I needed that that was a good cool That oh, no, I'm saying other five grams that DMT thing I got it. I was like happy after that was done really. Yes, cuz I was like I needed it Just I needed just a little fucking Little spanking dude. Yeah, I was like, yeah, you're right I've not been enjoying my day-to-day reality as much as I should be it's cuz day-to-day reality fucking blows, dude I mean, no, it's it's actually pretty sick. It does. It's been especially we get ripped out of it

We get ripped out of it into like a fucking pink and purple room with a fucking scary like snake guy staring at you You're like, yeah, my day-to-day reality is pretty tight actually better than this way better than this Yeah, it was so overwhelming. I'd rather be in the pink and purple room than moving That's 7 a.m. What it's 95 degrees. I Chant I do I was my pregnant wife. That is bro. Wow. That is fucking wild You're doing that. Yeah, man. That was fucking here. I am I'd be I was fucking shadow Dude, I'd be fucking live it shattered. I'd be the meanest dude ever. No, I kept it one thing went wrong I'd be like go just leave. Yeah, I mean to leave. I'll do this

We still mean yeah, that's we did that for sure. That was just go somewhere. That was today. I'm just like leave me be Yeah, yeah, but I'd be like you're not doing anything She's pregnant. She's a woman. That's the thing she gets. I'm the one carrying all the big stuff Yeah, but you can't you leave me alone. You can't but Dennis is like I've been carrying a baby They start doing course. Well, they're right. I know but But it's like I see you sit me with that. I'm like, yeah for sure. That's a baby But like dude, I just moved all this stuff. Look at all this stuff. Yeah, this is heavier than that fucking kid All right, 40 fucking babies. Yeah, I just at least 40 babies worth of shit. I just fucking carried in in the heat

Dude, although, do you know if you grab a pregnant lady? I've learned this if you take their belly and like lift it up for them It's like an immense really like they go like oh my god. You see a pregnant lady. Just grab her belly Reach behind her and you just go like this from the bottom. You just lift it like two inches and they go like oh It's like if you're carrying a backpack and someone just like takes it off you for a second That's nice. It's very nice. I lift her belly every now and again. I give her a nice fucking. I'll give her like three seconds Wait, that's really sweet. Well, yeah, we got a little belly. You got to do that You got to sneak up on a lady in the park. I'm telling you Women start lifting up their stomachs. I want to do it to and I want to try it on someone else who's pregnant

Can I lift your pregnant belly? Did you just fucking lift it fucking pissed if a dude asked my pregnant wife that? Oh, I mean fuck. It'd be furious fucking So you a fucking freak show Dude, I need to go back to the Changa realm. Oh dude. We're gonna get the guy on in the fall Which guy who invented Changa from Australia? He's gonna be in the States. I texted him I talked to him talk to the boy. He's gonna be out. He's gonna be in Australia. Yeah, dude You're gonna be

Yeah, dumb fucking ass. Yeah, damn. It's late. What time is it? It's fucking on say, bro We used to have nightcasts that were so lady. I know man Damn, I'm thinking about those that TV Taco Bell right now. Don't you worry about that's gonna be your own with the big Gonna be on deck this True I've never even heard of this fucking one. Oh, yeah, we did Matt and Shane's secret podcast is brought to you by Ray Khan. All right No one's here to judge what you listen to when no one else can hear but no matter what you like listening to it'll sound great with

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Yeah, you pop the top off and like a little thing flips up But I didn't realize bringing a water bottle onto an airplane. I got pressurized So I opened it up for Maya and I shot like up to the ceiling I Nailed people behind a whole row and I turn back. I'm like did that get someone lowers their fucking chair if someone Seen it. I think yeah, that's kind of fucked up What happened what happened you say I was like did that get you the guy just went. Yes I just turned back around. Yes, that did get me

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Drenched. Let me down to a cool 17% It's display comm drenched or click the link I've never ever once in my life seen someone say It's 34. It's 34% off. We were 27% or 34% off. That's insane. That's actually Fucking unhinged this way it's fucked up. It's wild. They are unhinged Literally no hinges no 20 seconds on Set it at 34 You've got a hot women to sell. Oh my god Matt, do you have any cool shows coming up? No, I had oh in July. What I'll put it out later

But in July, I've been doing the newer material comedy showcase at helium. Oh, yeah, how'd that first one go? Awesome dude. It was so fun. Nice. I just want to have a place where bros can do workout comedy. It's close Mike It's like an open mic, but close Mike. Yes That's that's that's you want to showcase like yeah, but seller, but yes, but exactly club just again So I'm gonna work on material, but that's I want they don't have those in Philly. Yeah, nothing Yeah, to work on material to an actual audience not a bunch of jeering nasty fucking comics. I got it. So Matt Matt's gonna come with me. Oh me and Matt are headed to Australia. How about that? So August 3rd, Brisbane

August 4th, Brisbane August 5th, Sydney, August 6th, Sydney, August 6th, Sydney August 10th Adelaide 11th Perth 13th Melbourne 13th Melbourne. We got two of them. Yeah, it's gonna be great And I think we're probably gonna start adding some shows Trying to link up a Spanian do on there with who? Spanian who's that an Australian rapper? What's he doing fucking nasty, dude? Jay, I got it. I haven't promoted this at all June 9th 10th and 11th. They'll be at the improv in Brea Brea improv Brea

California July 7th 8th and 9th MacGuby's Joe Calz 1415 16th of July Pittsburgh improv. Oh, yeah Looks like July 21st 22nd 23rd, I'll be a cobs in San Francisco Dang Guys, I'm never gonna stop traveling now until I'm fucking dead, which is gonna be quick if I keep fucking you are gonna die Yeah on this run. Yeah. No, I don't want that but I don't think I'm gonna die on this No, I'm sure he's gonna do you good. He's gonna be nice. We haven't you there will help. I'll be fine

I won't be as reckless true Matt's message He keeps your grounded a little when the Puritans pledge. Yeah, he makes me feel bad if I get hammered No, absolutely. You don't do that on purpose. I feel guilty Dude, I might not think so much. Oh, no, not at all. But yeah, you gotta keep it tight You think so, yeah, you can see oh, I got down there month Okay, that's very exciting you guys. Yeah, you guys traveling all over the world. That'd be fun. It's beautiful Yeah, you want you want to say anything you got your show?

Get in there Yeah, my next show at the stand is June 1st. It's a Wednesday. Oh Connie That's gonna sell out. I hope so. That'll sell out get those tickets down June 1st at the stand. Yeah, Connie Yeah, so far. Yeah, I can't even yeah, but yeah, whatever and then the doghouse is June 24 Thank you. Check out Noah's Art Instagram. Check it. True. What's your Instagram? Know his paint on Instagram knows paint pretty tight shit. Yeah, it's pretty bad painting guys. We did it Yeah, we did a lot of people didn't think we were gonna get through bro So I'm gonna sleep you up at 6 a.m. I'm floating in my head. Yeah. All right. Thank you for watching our podcast. Yes

Bye Nice