Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 396 - ProtoSpace (feat. SWIM)

Episode Date: May 27, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch hempycampers.com Yo. 3 scientists gather to discuss their most recent findings. The Big Kahuna, The Shaman, and SWIM. Please enjoy. Support the show and get your $15 a month wireless plan at https://MintMobile.com/Drenched Support the show and get 20% off with the code DRENCHED at https://Lucy.co  

No, we're on the podcast stop telling us about your fucking dope We are live from an Airbnb Yes, Matt. He's on coffee. I'm chill as hell, dude I've never seen this fucking Like you can't handle He pulled up I was like Where the fuck they're fucking around somewhere He's like check out this shit

He saw me some bullshit, dude. Oh, he's fucking idiots. It's like dude. They work at fucking Best Buy Dude, they should know a USB-C versus a standard USB. It's done. Dude. Those dudes are dope My jokes are gone And they were on it. Yeah, it's gone. I'm just ready to check theater kids now. It's just fucking that's the way you can say gay kids Respectfully respectfully we've had some theater kids Are you saying it's predominantly homosexuals that work for Best Buy and that's why they make mistakes This is hateful I'm not hateful. I'm not hateful whatsoever

I've just noticed as a social scientist, which I have my masters in social, which I am a social scientist I can't help but notice we are a family Retail is dominated by gay dudes I don't know if it's always been this way, but like you're just kissing 40. So you think all young dudes are gay now I do True I was like you're just older Like by the time you have a kid in high school, you'll be like all his friends are gay But they're not like they're crushing more ass than we'd ever know. I think I think the kids are gay now

I just went to a grad party and like they were well as fuck Yeah, but dude, nothing but cuts like Noah. That's our cause nothing but babes. Yeah, he's nothing but what's babes Yeah, how old are these babes 18th the end of their high school career? I'm also a citizen lawyer I'm not saying I was attracted to I said they all had a babe with them. No, he said nothing but babes It was their moms true You know, it's funny. I thought it out a lot of them were dating college freshmen. That was weird So they came back after the first year of college. They were all probably 1920 so they're babes the training wheels on

You tell one day they're gonna make beautiful 40 year old women. You're like, damn She's gonna make a beautiful 40 year old woman one day. That's what I was mostly exactly Sometimes you see a hot 18 year old chick night or like an 18. Like she's gonna make a beautiful 45. Yeah, it's gonna be She's gonna be a beautiful bride someday. Yeah, that's probably what I'm saying. They were very heterosexual men. Yeah, of course, dude That's the area. That's the area. Okay. That's the area. You're hot I Don't know. That is my dark secret if I drink coffee. I'm basically on coke all day long just buzzing around Yeah, you should switch to coke as a social experiment. I

Don't think it'll go. Well, I think you need to join a common experience Julian Palmer Switched to cocaine instead of coffee to see how it worked and he said it was easier to do a small bump of cocaine every morning Then to drink a cup of coffee every morning as far as like headaches and jitteriness. He said he was waking up Do a little just going about his day. How can he stop the same way you stop? He stopped it wasn't one bump in the morning. They're like, all right Well, yeah, what's he was just doing a tiny tiny one the same like he was doing the effect level But the same a cup of coffee would do to him. So it's just a little I don't give it to them

I don't know coffee and I'm like, I should get another cup of coffee. I'm gonna. I don't see that's not a bag I'll be licking the bag. I'm gonna drink a cup of coffee and I'm good off it. I It's you're a gobbler dude a bit of a gobbler bit of a gobbler stems I'm a bit of a gobbler happens in my time all the funds over and I just have like the craziest feeling of that's how Stims and every time it sucks. That's there's nothing worse than a night of doing cocaine Oh, I can't imagine this rule and then the night ends and then you got to get in an Uber for an hour back to Queens and Then sit in your bed while the sun's up. Just like and sleep's not an option Yeah, it's yeah, I don't know. I'm not I don't it's sadness. I'm a founder. I've never done

I never I never stored it stems. I've only I've only done the hot, you know Sacred brew of Western capitalism, which is coffee. Yeah, I drink like ayahuasca in the morning. I'm talking like If you don't drink coffee for a while then get back into it. It fucks you up, dude Well, I'm Tony the only reason I can even drink it at all. It's causing my mag supplementation, dude magnesium Magnesium next is you then try the coke with the mag dude I'm gonna let the scientists fly right now You should start a science podcast. I don't want to get fended out, dude What we just lost one good youtuber to fentanyl, dude

You think who YouTube community needs to lead needs to lose me Kevin Samuels, dude Who's Kevin Samuels dating guru? There's a black-eyed trash woman. He was called his host and he died from fentanyl He was a social scientist as well He's probably doing a little bit of coke to keep himself, you know, you tubing speaking of untimely deaths. I did just get breaking news From from Phil Gillis sad news comma good fellows star comma Ray Leota has died comma age 67 period that's young that is young He was only 27 years older than me I've been on a heavy death trip since I turned 40 really I do constant death math

Like how many years you have left like I'll be like I'll keep I started doing this thing the night I turned 40 where I was like fuck if I think back to like riding a bicycle and then put that amount of time ahead of me It's my funeral. Yeah, you think so What like 70 ish. Yeah, fuck that was yeah, so I learned to ride a bike when I was like seven. Yeah So that was always helps me though. Whenever I'm with it. I'm into yeah, that makes me happy It makes me happy cuz I'm like fuck yeah, I have that much time. I get my sixth grade till Like I'm saying is I constantly do that math now like I'll see like a seven-year-old and be like Like I'll do like a real fast like

Calculation I'll be like damn like you're me in first grade reversed. Yeah Yeah, I dude I tripped out. No, you did with the babes at the party. I Was with my family though. I'm a family man. You didn't do the age reverse with the girls This is just all my life Like they're doing their thing. They're gonna go to the beach every good time I'm happy for my my beautiful energy to go to the beach. Yeah, they'll go to the beach The ocean one season try on their outfit. I'm a family man. I don't think like this Teeny-weedy pokey-dee's what teeny-weedy pokey-dee's I don't think about

The beautiful girls Hard eyes You guys want to hop in guys hot as hell you guys want to take a dip Instant messages. Do you guys swim? I don't see any bikini pics anywhere. Yeah, yeah, my daughter's too But she'll be a teenager like you one day. What are you teens into I just want to prepare myself 42 songs like Drives out there. I'm way more grandfatherly now. I am I kind of now just I'm more like pastoral I just survey like all the people at once. Yeah, I was at your birthday party. I get I was so tripped up I was sipping those fucking handpages. That was that was I was just makes these drinks and they're just like I got everyone like

How Everyone was like Mildly stoned at my You turn the party in the party party in the dolly party melted I made a keg of like cannabinoid infused seltzer dude It's like imagine two miller imagine like three milligrams per can but it was very nice And it's like you don't know it is an alcohol tincture So it just kind of like slowly build so you feel it doesn't wallop you at once

You're just kind of like chillin like a beer But the plus is when you stop drinking them, you don't get that weird like I have to go home because I'm done drinking beer You know when you're drinking beer. Yeah, you got to keep drinking beer. Yes, and if you stop drinking beer It's like okay now. I'm done. I'm going home with the hemp sauce. It's not if you're a social scientist Now you've figured it out You never have to go home and the party never And then you still feel good. Yeah forever. You kind of start to feel better when you stop. That's true It's reversed. Yeah, I felt great driving back on those things

You can drive on it. It's not irresponsible Yeah, dude, the whole point was I was sitting there and I was overlooking like the generations and I was just being like dude This is like the life's just flowing. Yeah, it's like the life tapestry. You were observing the tapestry I was on the flip side. Just like well, it's pretty cool. I'm glad they have I'm glad I was able to turn you on my 40th birthday party I just I was fully turned on dude. I was like, yeah, damn Look at these young generation. That's really now that I'm 40. I'm like, I'm trying to be way more open about like my goals This is how you guys were when you like when you were like now that I'm 25 I've never paid attention how old I was I'm telling you then I'm turned

I've always been like, oh, it doesn't matter and then the night I was going to bed when I was 40 I started like elbowing my wife and she's trying to fall asleep. I was like explaining my death math to her That turns them all by the way stop. Nah, she wasn't into it. It kind of does She didn't like it. I love hearing about that. She wanted to sleep. So it was more so I could have fantasized about their husbands dying Oh, for sure. The women want their husband. I learned a long time ago The more a chick thinks that you're probably gonna die the more they're into you. Oh for sure They think about it for sure, dude Also, the lady wrote how to murder your husband just got arrested for murdering her husband. What bitch?

I didn't know that somebody wrote a book about how to murder your husband. Yeah, and then she murdered her husband She murdered her husband. Just got she just got taken in on it Fucking bitch How did not murder her husband is right a fucking book you dumbass wait So she wrote a book on how to murder your husband that she murdered her husband. I'm or she murdered her husband was like Good book he got away with it. Yeah, let me uh, I'm pretty sure sometimes I think he reads it on audible Yeah Still a goat the funniest fucking is he in jail now was him just saying I

Don't want to go to LA because I might be in the same room as my killer and I don't want to do that Now he doesn't that's why he's afraid to go to LA because he might accidentally be at a restaurant and the killer could be in there True and that would fuck him up juice. What do you think you would do to the killer? You son of a bitch, would you do you put on a glove and stab? Yeah, that's fucking uh, that's crazy you have that much charisma where you murder your wife and like the majority of society money Yeah, you what it was his money. Everyone knew he did it, but they were just like it's the juice No, it was money in race. They hit real pretty good on that one. Yeah, they let us get one free pass They beat Rodney King so hard that they were like yeah, all right. It was a prisoner exchange. We were like I two whites

Rodney King were cool on that. Yeah, true. That was that was me everything calm down after that I remember loose and everyone was like everyone chilled. I was in eighth grade or seventh grade I can't remember now. I was in seventh grade and then we were at eighth grade graduation parties watching the Bronco chase Yeah, oh, were you really? It was it was like we were all crowded around TVB and like fuck yeah, like we're rooting for how old are you? I'm 40. Yeah, that was one of the first memories like Laying on the living room floor in a room with people everyone watching the Bronco Yeah, and I remember being in the schoolyard and the teachers put the verdict on with their car doors open So there was like five car doors open and we were cranking the OJ verdict

It happened during school happening. It was like a false memory. I remember I have a false memory Apparently of the OJ thing with like at a family party and everyone fine. It might have just ran. I might have been home Maybe now you would have been like second grade I think I think I saw the news getting covered that you get released later at a family party and watching our uncles get very red I watch all like I remember I remember being really little like damn Oncles are really mad about this guy not getting charged from murder now I remember we like interesting. We were in the schoolyard and they called us over and we were just like What they're like listen to the OJ very this is important

Then they're like not guilty and then we like went back to playing kickball. Yeah, like don't give a fuck This is not important to me. I'm seven. Yeah. Yeah, we're maybe 12 Yeah, it's okay. Yeah, it's a who is bumping it Mrs. R. I'm a bird like all the boy bird. Yeah, bro. Fuck. I'm not gonna slander Well, who? The alma mater. Yeah, my name Who is our grade school alma mater? Which one that'll cover up activities really? I know they've had multiple scandals at St. Thomas the Apostle

Eighth grade teacher. I think you were friends with him growing up. Yeah Was it the eighth grade teacher he talks about a lot not as a new boy That's a different one. Okay. It was a new guy right new guy on the block He was he was getting he was a little chubby, right? And he started getting in shape and he started changing some Like fitness tips with the boys and it was like you know to get some ad picks and just kept going down Then it was like come over drink some beer. This was someone I went to school with I don't think so No, I thought you I thought you chilled with you

Yeah, I think you lifted it I think he was your lifting coach now he was a dude. We both know He was a dude we both knew some I'm not good Yikes, yeah, so he got it. He was he just wanted to see the boys physique dude He was but then he started saying let me see the boys eighth ninth Well, you want to see their V taper he wanted but then he kept going lower He's like what's up with these he was like he started asking him questions about their dick their birds And how they play with them. He's an eighth grade teacher. Yeah, he wants to know bro He was a scientist he was a map he was now dude. He was conducting some experiments. He was a map dude

Map minor try to person I don't want to draw into a terms like pedophile. True. He's a map Man what a great gig he got if I found out like you be an eighth grade teacher He was like how'd he get fucking busted, dude? He was doing this via text. Yeah, but who got a hold of his text Which one is a little police with your 8th graders 20s gay police kids fucking snitched on imagine being an eighth grade boy being like Yo, watch me trick. Mr. So and so I did the greatest. Oh my god. I mean like dude. Let's go tell your dad Oh, that's about to be the funnest. Yeah, but that was all we did. I would be like, thank you God This is the best ever me so nice in seventh grade our teacher worked at orange Julius in the mall

Yeah, we just would go there and taunt her for her whole shift We'd be like, why do you work here? Why do you can we get do it? We just fuck with her So we would fuck with her all day in school We found out where she worked and we would just get dropped off at the mall and continue to fuck Fucking orange Julius sure that orange Julius 19,000 a year yeah, cuz one time we were being bad and our tea I remember it I was in seventh grade our teacher Stopped talking walked over erased the blackboard and wrote her salary on the wall

It was like I make 19,000 a year and I have to put up with this shit and I was like 20s that is yeah, it's so much I was geeked. I was like Yeah, this was 95 Still that's rough like 300 at 395 was pretty hefty When I took a suspension in high school, they paid me $300. That's like a million dollars, bro It was it was a million. Oh, yeah, bro. You took you took the rat In high school like a hundred thousand now Yeah, it'd be a hundred G's someone gave you a hundred bucks. Oh, it's sad in my nightstand

That was there like promised me didn't get paid to do this and I was like Hiding money for your parents is not hiding three hunch. I didn't hide it. It was my top drawer Did I look at it? I'd be like ground I was grounded for like three months I'd open the drawer and check out my three crispy franklins and be like We did it Secured the bad cry no matter what true She knew they knew it was good. I didn't do this guy a favor anyway Cuz I was like he was like I'm gonna get it together. He like went on to do like heroin

Yeah, I do I really south really cool dude though. He was the man. I like that guy. He was the man But I mean given paying 300 and how old was he big bucks? He was a senior He had 300 just now all the boys chip boys. He was this was like a very He was like one of the most affable likable dudes very popular guy. So a lot of the bros chipped in yeah It probably could do a favor for him. I felt good I mean I always like the guy they gasped me up on some bullshit terms, dude They're like yo like senior chicks are gonna probably they're like they like promised me sex from like women I was like no doubt. I was like this is gonna be tight, dude

All you gotta do is do this like two month stretch and then it's nothing but ass There's like we're gonna write all your papers for you and do it. It's gonna be 300 books. Yeah, it's your one girl Was like that was nice if you do that and I was like She didn't like it This was up. Yeah, and they just left and I was like, when do I get head from this? Never got that probably inspired a beat though. Was she attractive? I mean there you didn't need to inspire beats on me back there. Yeah, River was flowing, dude Yeah, you didn't do much inspiration back then. I had my muse was with me all the time

I had to be who was your muse just all the time everybody everything Everything yeah, I remember like it was like it was like taking a poop. Oh, yeah, you're like, oh shit. There's that urge Let's go. I had to like immediately something triggered. It was even worse true I'm not a hug or something or you caught like My parents left No matter what These fuckers and my mom would be like, oh, I'm taking your brother to like Math tutor at four and I'd be like hyperventilating from 3 30 till four

And then I would what time are you leaving? Yeah, I'd be like, what do you leave? What do you go? How long I can't wait till my son starts doing it's gonna be dude. How long are you gonna be gone? I'm gonna lie though. Yeah, you gotta bust them. I got busted once just hit the garage I ain't get busted fapping, but I had a hard drive, right? So this I Had a like a floppy did not like a 3.5 disc. Yeah, right and So it goes back like we used to steal playboys That was our thing like we used to go to the mall and steal like penthouse and playboy and then bring him into school And like we had like a tight network of like bros that would steal and ship them around to each other

And this one nerd was like dude. I have the internet. I can get this stuff on a 3.5 disc Yeah, I was like, dude bull fucking shit. He's like bring me a disc So I brought him like you don't talk about 3.5 discs a little hard guys probably I bring him one He loads it up. I think I'm not a floppy like the hard one So not like the flat not like the big one. It was the little guy. Yeah, you put like homework on them and stuff He was like dude, I'll load it up. So he loads it up gives it back to me And I pop it in my computer as soon as I get home. This was pre-internet. This was pretty like How do you everyone having it? Oh, yeah, it was like a while dialogue before that before that, right?

So he's like man, what a pervert his dad must have been. That's a whole Dude's like an oj prodigy head. He had like pre-aol internet So like he gives me this disc. I go home. I pop it in and it's like quick times need it to open file I'm like the fuck is quick time. So I pop it out shelve it a Year later like mom was like, can you put this new card shop or something on the computer? Pop it in it's like download download download. It's like download quick time and I was like fucking quick time I Downloaded and I started hounding her

This is a year later, right? So I'm in eighth grade now floppy for that long I don't dude. It was just sitting so I wrote like I wrote like social studies on it and like put it in a shelf So like a year later I'm downloading like Oregon Trail or some shit right and says quick time. I hit download and like from that moment I'm like mom. Are you going for a walk mom? Are you gonna take the dog out mom? She's like the fuck is this kid up? Yeah, so finally. She's like, yeah, I'm going for a walk I'll be back in one hour. She literally went outside and went around to the back window and watched me in the computer Oh, I get the disc. I pop it in

What I was just on recon so I wasn't fapping. Thank fucking God. I pop it in right I opened up the first image and it was like Probably like Carmen lecture or Jenny who did singled out Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, so like it was like Line by line coming down then the titties pop up and it's like still going all of a sudden It's like what the like my mom comes bustling in because she was at the window So she was like, what the fuck how the fuck are you getting naked women on the computer? This was before the internet So I popped the disc and I completely ratted on the kid because he was the biggest nerd in my class I'm like, yo, so-and-so game. She's like, oh, she gave me this. I didn't know what it was gonna be

I'm done that so I just had to take the fucking fall for I immediately was like this kid this nerd kid gave it to No, I was like he told me it would be on here, but I didn't know really and she just wasn't having me I wanted to check to make sure so That was my closest to getting busted. Thank God. Thank God. It was slow because I would have been fucking crushing to it She had to get in there quick. She knew what she was doing. She didn't want She was on the clock. She was on like a matter of second. It was a it was two separate conversations. She had to deal with. Yeah Jesus bro in your own room man. You must have been so bad at selling the fucking where are you going?

I was so bad. I was like, where are you like? Are you going for a walk? I think the dog needs to go out Because I was like she told me she was like you were so fucking weird for like 20 minutes about getting me to get out of the house I had to come. Yeah, I was sorry mom. I had to blow it must be nice to watch a eighth grader. Just poorly act Like mom go walk the dog Telling me what to do for the first time in your life And you think you're like miles ahead of them. You're like, okay if I get her out to walk the dog I could work awful over myself rid of her and our family computer desk It's time to whack off at the family desk

I didn't say yeah, every kid's every fucking family computer got Just destroyed every day fried every day there was come. Oh, it was crazy you and your dad I used to fry my roommates computers in college because I didn't have a laptop I didn't have a laptop So I would just be like they would leave and I would just openly go to their rooms and Melt their computer and then walk away and watch them come home flip out. I'd be like, what's up? Who the fuck was trying to find one night in Paris? What's that I had a desktop

In college and I was I was taking summer classes. I didn't think anyone was home got out of the shower We didn't have air conditioning. So it was like 98 degrees in the apartment I was ass naked at a desktop in our living room You know our living room ass naked whack it off and my fucking bro came home and sat on the couch and the computer's right here And he's like, what are you doing? I was like, dude Get Dude for real stop People got caught jerking off and they'd be like I'm gonna take a shit

They would just leave and just continue to fab I never actually I got called once my max girlfriend I can't call your girlfriend but I was it was weird because like I like came home from work and Then like immediately got in the shower and just started jerking off then she popped in to be like hey like Like hi, how was work and I was like head back We were 18 we're having sex like nine times a day. Yeah, what the fuck are you doing? I'm just like, I don't know I just I constantly come But it was like me head back full

In the throes of like there's an herbal essence. Yeah You having herbal essence It was just her face Busted that's the one I've ever actually been busted Not including sharing rooms as with brothers because you get busted constantly. Hey, dude, stop fucking jerking off. I'm not We shared a room of three dudes. Yeah, I was pretty good I never I almost I've said it before I got caught loading up my hands with like an intense amount of fucking motion And then it started slathering it on my arms. What are you doing? I was like

Where'd you get that? I was like it's on a Tom's day and I just left damn That sucks for moms with a lot of sons Like four boys that are just whacking Billy had someone must have been whacking like once an hour somebody was well I remember being in like eighth grade and my mom storming out of the laundry room and be like, I'm not doing anywhere fucking laundry And I was just like Hey, at the time I was just blowing loads and throwing them in I never once put it together until I was older like, oh, dude, she probably picked up some like loaded boxers. Yeah, dude We're labeled with our knit with my mom with the initial our socks like you keep your socks

These are you want to know who the perpetrators are dude, but then I started fapping when I was like 10 Yeah, so like by the time I could fully fucking rip ropes there there. It was what like maybe 12 13 yeah So like she was those m socks were coming down at a very young age and she was just probably like Jesus fucking Christ I blame it on her because she should have just sat us down and been like dudes start fucking getting to she's quit fapping Your laundry came over true But she suffered in silence until she broke. Yeah, but you got to be silent dude Yeah, you can never do that to have your I would do it now

I know you know, I wouldn't do that to my daughter. I think you had four daughters that we're not doing everything you had Would you ever be like girls stop squirting I would completely ignore it. I would go outside and just chop wood Sure, you have to chop wood never Well, my son you get to come in and your daughters and be like the world's a scary place ladies You should be very careful. Yeah, I was never showed up when me and Gordy showed up to Louis to do the president's podcast He was just out front chopping your chopping wood is the best thing you can possibly mean we got to chop wood with Ludo How was he fucking broke out a chainsaw right when we pulled up? He's like nobody can hear you out here

What were you using them all or like a wedge in a it was it was just a regular wedge axe. It was easy. It was so easy So easy dude, I do it. I try to do it for like an hour a day at least it's awesome It's so much fun. Yeah, it's a woodburn stove. I got the wood burning. So it's so meditative and it's so like You just get into it and then when you start fucking splitting them. You're like yelling and shit. You're like fuck. Yeah, like yeah My son watch me do it. That's nice and he counts down like three two one between acts blasts That's not I have to fucking split them or else. He'll be like dead pop hop can split them How come you can't do that? We're like Uncle Billy who's Billy fucking splits wood. Hey, it's probably motherfuckers. I'm sure it's insane Fuck

I'll be like dude. Don't go Billy. Good. It's what down there. Fuck. It's not hard It depends because the wood we pride celebrity would he buy a Yeah, yeah, I mean it was like it was easy. He's probably isn't slow cracker cracking fire starter logs Yeah, like I go back in the woods harvest logs roll them down harvested them. All right I'm not gonna talk shit on the greatest comic of all time Cues him of having some like washed up coa wood. Yeah of like supermarket would he was just European splitting He knew he knew we were coming to you had some wood set up supermarket wood is fucked up I I do I hook fin ever under comes out to what do you mean? Well, I do your chopped wood and the bike true

Yeah, we knew you haven't went like you probably couldn't do this It's like it does rule though every dude who gets it. They'll chop like a half quart of wood. Yeah Because it's easier than you think you like David so yeah, you wouldn't think you you thought you'd have to make a fucking expert You get them split yeah, I thought the accuracy would be hard. It's not not so primal and then yeah I thought you'd have to fucking drill it. No Surprise like where your focus is Your axe always hits true. It's like archery I'm terrible at archery. I like it. I fucking watch it

I got into it for every time because I wanted to kill a deer with a bow and arrow But I lost steam and kill the deer. I like help this dude carry a deer out of the woods one night Yeah, it's fucked up like this There's this dude who comes out and hunts around the property and he has my number because like we always chat and one night I crushed like two gummies or something. I'm like sitting on my couch and he texted me He's like, dude, can you help me bring a 200 pound deer out of the woods and I just ate the edible I was like, yeah, I'll do this for five minutes come back in like ride this out I was in the woods for like three and a half hours of this fucking dude pitch black pouring rain

Just geeked on like two gummies good dragging a fucking deer It sucks and I was like, I don't do this that bad. Yeah, but it was cool Dragging the dead deer the dragon the deer like it was me and some dude hoisting up like a 200 pound deer and just dragging it through Like completely pitch dark woods. You should have grabbed his ass and he kept asking me where we were and I was so stoned That's a tale as always time local hunter Asking the asking the village fucking idiot

Like guide me sir I Shit It was like pouring rain. It was wild. I was sucked. I'm the worst with that people like we're we're we're in the pitch black woods That's fair. And I was like, dude, I don't know. I think which has hexed us dude. Yeah, you could have been hexed I might have gotten just dropped in ran. I was thinking about ditching them I was like this in one direction screaming. I want to start ditching again Ditching's nice. We were out like you're like, yo, let's ditch this dude. You'd be out like we're in the woods

Ditching people. Yes, bro. I forgot all about that. We always used to ditch the same kid and he would chase us The second you ditch him he would start he wouldn't he had no problem looking shamelessly searching for you Yeah, so fucking I found you what the fuck guys, dude I like the idea of him ditching the guy in the woods and then kind of fucking with him like lingering around like Looking back on that was the most fucked up shit Like I remember we like we wouldn't want to hang out with one kid But he would somehow rope us into it and we would like pull back up to his house But dude, can you go get that new like fucking Led Zeppelin CD?

Oh, it's right on top of my dresser. But yeah, go get that It's so fucked up. It's crazy It's like looking back on it It was fucking imagine doing that now like if your friend was like, dude Let's go to dinner and you ditched your friend. You're gonna be so free cell phone too though So it was now be you're gone. You're off the map. You were done now It's funny you probably for by the time you went to brought it up you forget you should ditch someone dude Like ask me to come to dinner and fishtown with you and then like I have to go to the bathroom

Yeah, did you have me and three other guys are gonna go to the bathroom guys. Where are you at? No answer Next day, they saw our bro. We ditched you No, never about it. Don't talk to me Type move. Yeah, let him wonder forever. What do you do? Yeah, like what happened? What did I say? Like nothing. We just wanted we were fine. Oh, we had an idea that we would want we'd like so we filmed this sketch in a bar two nights ago and We get there and the producer looks at me. He's like you can have one While we were waiting he was like you have one and I was like

Why would you talk to me like that? He's like, what do you like daddy to you? He doubted me I was like well now I'm gonna have seven so you know Oh, that's so fucking funny. He's he was like immediately like I'm sorry. You're right. That was I shouldn't have said something What did you know the dude? Yeah, he's a producer on the show, but like is he friendly? Is he like we're friends, but he was like he always shot. He's the producer has to organize this It's his job to make sure everybody's chillin Doing the right thing, but he like The what is I mean tell me to have one beer only was it's very weird. Yeah, and I was like this would be a sketch just

Film him secretly within the sketch watching me just get fucking blitz watching him freak out ruining a sketch Flourish and just secretly filming him quiet making like a meta sketch. Yeah, that would be so funny That would be the next level. Oh, I think we're gonna do that with somebody you might have to start getting meta sketching within Yeah, so you're gonna start like honking people on it on like another level. I think somebody I think the guy could be Phil which would be very funny to get my dad to like be like that Can you get him to talk to him? No, but have my dad be the guy we're tricking and have everybody be like Shane are you alright? And I'm like, yeah, I'm fine You should start doing sketches where you like take one actor and then contact him like this is the state police like so-and-so died

Yeah Just let it run out So we should have On set on set so have somebody outside The goofiest costume possible find out their whole family's dead. Yeah Yeah, dress them up like the Philly fanatic And then have somebody call be like is this so yes, your parents were in a horrific car I'm sorry. They passed away

Everybody back to set yeah about to start then it has be like do you have an understudy like we can't not do this today Yeah, it's a good idea dude. It's good. I was last time he talked to them talk to who your parents like when's the last time you talked to them Yeah, what are you upset about and then tell him it's a joke and then continue No, we got some other things you could get them from the screen actors guild and then be like that was another sketch You will be compensated. I'll get come on The fucking thing. Yeah, they do sign away all the rights for the day Whatever you want dude. It'll be like next level punked We had a guy we had never won. I don't want to trash people, but there's something it's so funny with these dudes

Sucking acting and then you're like, alright, so read this line and then they're just like, okay. How are you? What the fuck was that accent? Why are you doing that accent? I Feel like you're subbing me right now. No Damn It's always just an outside like an actor who's like, this is my big chance. Yeah, so that's got to be very funny And then they're all fine. They're all they're all doing great chops for sure though That must be because that's a weird thing to like Wing where it's like, alright, this is how I'm gonna say this thing people like what the fuck would you say? Yeah like that?

You're like, I don't fucking know Actors fucking weird. It's crazy making the decision to move out to California like I'm gonna make it bro I'm not gonna lie when I got the other one. I'm like, I need a train to become a well-trained thespian Drugs it's so fun. What's the drugs? What? I'm gonna start working on this Acting's not that hard Lot of actors don't hit it till they're 40 something It's true. I did I was all Brad Pitt wasn't in his first movie to lose 48. I got time. That's not true

It was an interview He's like 19 fuck I instantly believe that Yeah, that's the one everybody always goes to Rodney Dangerfield was a geezer when he became famous true as a comedian So was dice clay Supposedly wasn't dice clay like he completely made that up one night and then ran with it. Yeah the character the character Yeah, I think so he like was a failing comedian or he's a failing actor And he like went to an open mic and completely made up this persona and he became like he has an actor I hate when people use a term like failing actor. It's like

Trying working working the work I'll tell you what if he made that up, which I believe he did he is stuck in that fucking bit dude Oh, he never gave it every time I've hung out with him. He's been like first time I ever met him I walked in the green when he did the early show. I did the late show at the at helium So and he was just hanging in the green room. He didn't leave toll court He was like waiting for people to come see him and I was next so his crowd had left He's got a crowd Is it I don't know his inner circle or the bro saying like who is he still like in the comedian world like very well?

Yes, okay. Yes, dude. He's fucking he was your dice clay. He was the funniest fucking dude He still is someone texted Brittany today One of her friends telling ladies she was like, oh Matt's comedian. Does he like Andrew dice clay and I was a teller. Yes Yeah, so take your bag right now and say he's the best. He walks in. He's like it. Do you know where Vince Papalli lives? and I was like The guy from in Vince the movie. He's like you look like you would know where Vince Papalli lives He's just fucking around and then he starts filming and he started forget what he's he wasn't fucking around He was doing a sick. He didn't remember

You piece of shit I think he hops in the uber and like calls his wife like yeah, this is getting old like he's just chillin I think he's fully he's in You got a microphone. Oh, dude. Oh, damn. Yeah, I'm fucking 57 my fourth grade teacher is his sister and she's like ashamed She doesn't tell anybody the only way your fourth grade teacher is Andrew does clay sister. Yeah, I don't want to say her last name She's there's like clay Jewish. No, it's not Fairling Yeah, but it's all night. They're all there's tickets like I forget the

Jewish ass last name now, but did you wish people have like a Said it's all in it. You could wikipedia that I'm sure he's like kid rock kid rock was a rebel nerd Don't you dare talk? What my bad? Yeah, don't talk about your boys a kid rock. Yes. I take that statement back I was born in a trailer park. He's a pimp. Yeah I'm not here to besmirch any comedians or actors or positions Bobby's the fucking mate The Bobby does rule they sent they sent a picture from that show like a framed picture. Yeah, and

The the address the return address said KR on it That's who kid rock he said it and then we got a letter with the thing that was like, you know It was like a thank-you letter in all this. We met kid rock Yeah, and then it was signed to Bobby and my girlfriend was like, oh, well, this would have been cool It was from kid rock just throw this out. I was like Bobby is kid Bobby Richard. It's Bobby dude That must be tight though like, you know dice clay KR to just invent a fucking character that is so The cable guy and they just live by Jeff. Yeah, I can buy there was me

I don't know about Foxworthy. I don't think here's as much of a persona later. The cable guys are complete complete person I think Foxworthy is to do you do any from Connecticut? Really imagine just inventing a better life for yourself. Yeah, I'll do that a lot of those like Like 70s country dudes a lot of those guys were just straight up like New York theater kids that were like I'm a rebel Talk about Wayland not way but like there's a whole bunch like Ramble and Jack Elliot and those type really his dad was like a Dentist in Brooklyn or something. Don't quote me on this But I'm saying in that you're saying like that Brooklyn area center of shape-shifting fucking machine gun Kelly true

He was just like I'm a rapper from Cleveland now. He's like That was him originally he went emo. I think he was emo originally then he went to like rap That's nuts is like, I don't know anything about him. I've listened to one of his songs. Yeah, it was on the radio a lot Yeah, but like just the second I laid eyes on him I was like yeah when you see him like Travis Barker and like Travis Barker doesn't bother me as much as Mark is cool But also about that wedding dude that shit pissed me the fuck off wedding their wedding was sacrilegious as hell I didn't see any of this They're taking with their hot wives and girlfriends is the gay

Each other's blood yeah, who him and Megan Megan Fox. Yeah, they drink each other's blood Yeah, I did that was a wait what happened Travis bar who Travis Barker married Kardashian all these dudes I don't see any all these dudes just crashing the Kardashians. Yeah, I guess so a machine gun Kelly He's married to Megan Fox Megan Fox. They drink each other's blood every morning The vampire community is concerned. Well, like none of that bothers me. He but him as an entity What I don't care that is bullshit. It doesn't it doesn't ring any bells I'm just like whatever but like just looking at him bothers me like when I when I first saw him

I was like who the fuck is this guy dude? Imagine sitting with the hottest chick ever Megan Fox You'd be like you were the hottest person of all too tall. I'm not too angular and tall for true I'm saying if you saw her in real life, you would say I will kill my family for you Let's say with a mega babe, you're rich She's hot. She's hot you're rich and like how can you be how can you be that gay? You know I'm saying with the hottest chick like you're at the hottest chick go and you're like, well

I'm just gonna be gay with her Just eat your ass and keep it call it keep it pushing bro. Don't drink your fucking blood like a weirdo I think you I think nothing. I think when you hit that nothing matters. Yeah, maybe you escaped the realm of gay I just in a world of like nothing but even is gay true I'm I hold it down like do you ever see like state property movies? Yeah I'm just all doll anything other than doggy with like you with a t-shirt on Those movies are so tight those are sick always on the phone is new egg on the phone always they're all doing dogs Like that was my sh. I only do reverse mish

Reverse mish Does all the work I'll be honest I've seen that on pornhub and I don't mind it Explain this dude. It's ever. She's on top of she's like you lay down like you're gonna get fucked and you open your legs You put your legs up and then your wife gets on top of you and she kind of does the movements You just kind of lay there and like you get fucked on the couch With your penis sticking forward. Yeah The whole time you're kind of thinking about But the whole time the whole time I'm kind of thinking about like if like I need to switch the wash cycle and like

You get you get deep into it deep into it. Well, you're fucked. You're like, I hope this ends I'm not even attracted to this guy Badgering me all day No, I can come you like fine. I need to be badgered all day. I need to be like fine like hurry up You have five minutes and then we do reverse mish Damn, that's so hot and then I immediately get up and get on Pinterest Just look at fucking Ladders crazy as faff after the ladders. Oh, it's crazy

Like shit like that like a reason you know what you get Decorative ladder Yeah, yeah, you know much reverse mish you're gonna have to do for that Fuck what time is she where 125 are we at gritty I felt like 45 say Yes, whoa check this shit out Yo, look at this fucking ad what Matt and Shane is sponsored by Mint mobile. Yeah, holy fuck mint mobile offers premium wireless starting It's just 15 bucks a month. They're the first company to sell wireless services online only without the cost of running. You get it I bet promo code drenched without the cost of running retail stores they pass those sweet savings on to you

So that's great boys. Tell the folks about the call the call quality. Have you dude? I haven't fired up yet, but it really is just a SIM card you put in any in a jail Jailbroken phone. It's like you have a cell phone for 15 bucks a month 15 bucks a month It's like a you know basically a little burner. I'm gonna get one and start doing it doing prank 15 bucks a month 15 is crazy. You might have got a customer, man All plans come with unlimited talk text plus high-speed data delivered on the nation's largest 5g now between us fellas That's the team they're talking about Verizon. They're saying they're using Verizon's backbone. Don't quote me on that. Okay You basically can get Verizon on a jailbroken iPhone with mint mobile with a bit my point. Can I get mint mobile on a flip phone?

Yeah, it's just a same fuck you if it takes a sim I'm pretty sure your own phone plus keep your same phone number and all your existing contacts with any mint mobile plans Which to meant mobile today? It's fucked up. Damn dude You can get another phone and just burn her it out and then I might do start doing prank calls on the mint mobile I only need one phone. It's gonna be you two phones, bro. Why would I need two phones? I don't prank I'm for them hose dude. Yeah, you got your fucking Christian family man. It's not for me. You tell me Megan Fox comes in Okay, she's a demon. She's a blood sucker And put them in neutral and let them sink into the lake

Drift into the lake and say Megan Fox reverse Mitch with Megan Fox Guys hold on Machine gun Kelly you're gonna be like, I'm sorry I'm gonna meet him this week No, I'm just saying this is how this has worked Kind of tight though. If you think about it like a sorcerer Well to get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month and get the free plan shipped to your door for free Go to mint mobile comm slash drenched. That's mint mobile comm slash drenched cut your wireless build of 15 bucks a month at mint

Mobile I'm doing this today. That's no joke. That's pretty fucking good right now Verizon. It sucks I'm gonna family plan with fucking Brittany your mom or sisters like four hundred fifty dollars a month you pay for all They fork they fork. I was gonna say they fork one more Lucy Talk about Lucy. What do you like about it? How you use it favorite flavors? I'm addicted to nicotine and tobacco Yeah, I'm not there. I'm on a plane. I can't dip when I'm at comedy clubs. I can't dip. That's when I choose Lucy What is it just gum? Yeah, just nicotine. It gets you buzzed. Yeah, it's just nicotine future drugs I never fucked with nicotine. Yeah, I wish I hadn't now. I'm addicted to it. Yeah Yeah, it's just in that's I'm saying take the stigma way dude of the addiction

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Warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is addictive chemical Sure, it'll be good for the Canadians to get like piped up on some nicotine nicotine Despot fucking leader. They do have a despot Kid despot dude blackface dear kid deathbot. That's that's tough multiple blackface. Yeah, dude non-stop He said he lost count. Yeah, that's nuts He's gonna try to use that theater kid excuses like no way. Yeah, dude. No fucking way in my world I mean not my book not my time too many look. I like to have fun just like the next guy But that's where I personally we were we got lucky. We could have easily done blackface. I never would have we were close

I did blue place once with a smurf for Halloween You're edgy. I was edgy Very dark blue and I got really hot cuz it was just like shitty like drugstore paint Oh, I think my body sweat for like 12 hours and I drank a bunch someone could Photoshop you real in a real bad way There's a true A little bit that way I'd like white sweatpants and a little Checks out. Yeah. Yeah, so it was smurf I feel like I've seen you I saw kids do blackface. I one time not it was not racially motivated

But my roommate was drunk and I colored in a large portion of his face with a black magic marker. That's fun Yeah, but it was it wasn't rich. It was like I'm gonna color his entire face and but I got to like here So I gave him like Braveheart face. That's pretty you have man without a face face. Yeah It's a phenomenal Mel Gibson movie He's a great actor too Mel Mel Fucking great. Fantastic from edges. I'm an actor. Who's your favorite actor? Why? Yeah, him himself Not no Mel. Yeah, I like it's out. Who's your favorite? No, I'm saying himself. Who is my favorite actor? You should have seen him, dude, bro, you should see

No, you did very very well Such an uncomfortable the whole time ahead. It's just like dude. You're really it mom picturing you guys in the other room being like Yeah, no fuck this guy doing now. We got to change the whole thing now. He's fucked It's so good. It's my internal dialogue. How many skit how many sketches were you one out of we filmed seven Not bad. That's a good but he was in a most dominated one. Yes. No way. I was half of one sketch Yeah, nice, which so far. That's no one else is really that Gerbys Gerbins and Gerbins Gerbins the co-star for sure Gerber is a fantastic that's being we have one sketch. I cannot wait to see Envy Mckeeber

Mckeeber is the best actor, but he's he's he likes being behind the camera Crazy, he's the best actor by far out of all of us. He's out growing. He's out growing the stage. Yeah Yeah, I grew stand-up. He was just like done. Yeah, I'm good. I'm done. He just acts now. No, he just direct Oh, and writes he writes all these Do you know something some of these are just me like one line being like isn't this funny and then he'll come up with He just doesn't he wrote up quick. It's fucked up Who'll write a sketch with like and then like a hook ending. Was he a real funny dude? Yes. Yes I never met a very funny man off stage off camera

He's not you wouldn't if you were in conversation. He's just a nice person He's not like he wouldn't be like fucking around. Yeah, but yes If you saw me act and give you know, I think the funniest stand-up but early but early I was I went with down to Baltimore. Yeah, his stand-up was fucking. Yeah wildly funny Yeah, he's a funny bro, but early. I got like I stopped and he and he's he got better from stopping. He just makes up new stuff. He tries to make up new stuff every Yeah, and he's just like weird brew pub in Baltimore and like the outskirts of Baltimore and Haas was like yo come to Baltimore Haas was a menace

I can't that's too much of a story. It's too much of a dog shot out Haas You doing push-ups yeah I said a couple pops a couple pops a couple cups of coffee, but personal squat record I I'm not here to talk about Haas Point of my story is but early stand-up but only is funny as fuck Very funny, bro. He's funny. It's off the cuff dudes in the war. He's just talking. It's like Jesus fucking Christ, man. Yeah Yeah, I'm trying research cams with he's also very nice. Yeah

He'll go try some research. Yeah. Oh, he's he's into heavy into research right now. That's me and butterlitz. We're What's the end goal? What do you guys think you're gonna lie? It's just knowledge secrets of the universe I think you're gonna lose your knowledge. No, it's impossible. You can only gain more knowledge You can't lose knowledge. I think you guys keep searching for this knowledge You're gonna you're gonna lose more searching for direct experience. So you can't lose true Because everything's an experience positive or negative What if you experience it and can't process it? So then that's just a term for that It's ineffable Robert Monroe. I forget what the term is

But when he there was a guy who was traveling out of his body and wrote like a bunch of books about what he was seeing There's entities that'll give you like a just humongous ball of information that you're like fuck is that and they're like just give it a Couple years at all. Yeah bet that guy. There's what that entity gives you too much information process in one city Oh, yeah, you slowly tip away. It's like a big piece of wood Do you think it's possible that it's just a part of your brain that? Feels like you're getting a lot of information that's being triggered by these drugs anything's that it's not really an entity That's like I have all the knowledge. Oh, definitely It's just your brain going like that's the part that makes you feel like you're receiving a lot of information

My thing is the fact that my brain could construct a DMT Visual setup like the room. I was in is like Well, I mean you do this while you're dreaming. Yeah, well the goddess is good. It's you got to get kicked somehow True. Yeah, I get kicks. Yeah, I mean before all yeah, just being your head. Who knows but it's definitely just your head You don't know. Yeah, but what I'm saying is it ish everything's just in your head. Nothing's not sure Like if you can walk away with something I'm getting triggered What I'm saying is like if you walk away with something beneficial, it's good same deal with alcohol You can get alcohol can give you beneficial

Yeah, you know, let's say you haven't talked to your cousin for a long time You guys go have a good time you catch up drinks about lights. Everything's blissful. So it's all good Yeah, the end of the day not one thing's better than another. No, I don't think anything's better than another thing It's just different kicks for different hicks, you know, I'm aware Like so, let's say let's say I get done with the show. Yeah, I've got the perfect amount of Bud lights I have a good show for sure. I have eight draft Bud lights Yeah, and I walk back to the hotel listening to cool music That's called the show. I dance by myself in the hotel. We're together a cool playlist. No, it's not where she's gonna tell you by dance

Damn that Bud light made me feel that way. It wasn't entities from a different dimension. Yeah, that's just a different molecule Yeah, it's a different exact I don't believe there was a spirit in the room the spirit of Bud light was not in the room the blue night was not in the room That's like saying I took a downer and it didn't make me Stay awake, you know things do different things. No, I know I know but I'm saying I have an axe and I couldn't dig a hole with it Yeah, no, but I'm saying the reality. I I know that it was the alcohol not reality That's but it was reality because that was your reality is my personal reality, but You have to try to have an understanding of reality

Yeah, but that's impossible True because it's always changing and your reality is only your direct experience. This is true, bro There's there's things like that a ton of mushrooms and you see these entities and stuff that was your reality for that time Yeah, whether or not it was quote-unquote as real as like this coffee table Sure, that's you're talking about different levels of reality. Yeah, let's do this. So if you have the memory and It is there. It's as real as a dream. Yeah Built into the universe. So there could be consciousness is floating about in different areas of the universe So like Big Bang

shoots out and it's just it's we're flying through space I mean eventually space times curved obviously, so we're just coming right back But within the descent and the return there's trapped proto space Which would just be like the infinitely dense the stuff the Big Bang So that it's like it's the absolute abyss there's like, you know, they're saying there's the void So there's nothing in it, but that that nothingness is infinitely condensed That's what that's what the Big Bang explodes out of it just gets so condensed It goes and explodes in a you know space-time light matter

Flies through and then returns to itself through a black hole and the white hole shoots out of it But there's just our like so the blue night's real. Who is the blue night for sure. This is a Bud Light blue night Yeah, you can so what have you ever gotten to that point? No, and also I would shoot for you should you should you should never If someone's dancing like dude in terms of shamanic protocol, that's something you asked someone when did you stop dancing? True, I apologize immediately just like the kid rock comments. I am flying off the cuff a little I apologize You're having a good time. Have a good time. You're giving dudes a rat. You're having fun Usually I wouldn't badmouth kid rock a lot you guys are like scientists that are also like you like Neil deGrasse You're like Bill Nye. You're like we're show. We're we're scientists. We're also in it for you couldn't be too, right?

You couldn't be you got me. Yeah, I'll take the glory a little bit That's the reality you see for me then I can't argue with a showman scientist I can't deny I can't my ultimate goal if you gave me enough money. I'd probably like okay. I'll be a showman scientist With research chemicals True, I wouldn't do the core. I wouldn't sit there and worry about space and time. I'd be like here's what happens when you Yes, no, I'm just saying that's Matt's bag. That's cool. You can call it corny. Did you know I didn't call corny I envy Matt's ability to To be like I got that like space and time like I can I mean dude if you saw if you saw the diagram

I saw what I was trying to say is there's we're coming here We're going through here, but there's layers of proto space that we're that separate material realities It's just different dimensions. We can't get through the promise Pure nothingness It's nothingness, but it's also infinite potential. Yeah, that's that they say that little dense little pinprick the big bang exploded out of it It's like brother. I hate to tell you there's a whole sea of that stuff. It's called the ground of reality We all come from it. We all return to it and the whole thing happens again. I hate to break it to you I'll follow it happens again. I've I had that theory. I've heard that yeah, it's just

Yeah, it's a cyclical dude as above so below maybe we die the universe gets sucked into a black hole stuff comes back flowers Well, we're fucking we're flying right through the same people pop right back up And we'll do this all again. No big deal. It's not a big deal. Chill out everybody You want to I'm not worried about the Bud lights. I'm not either I'm chilling with them. I'm worried about my it's what the Bud lights lead to Gotta watch out. Well, yeah, looking over He grabs my shoulder. Oh, yeah, maybe I should do a line. He's like no, man. That's not cool Yes, dude. She's fat as hell just fucking blocks you with a shield dude. Come on, man

She's not thick. She's actually purely she's fat as hell No, she's just as fat I try to I really don't drink liquor. Yeah, I try not I have a drink. I really don't drink IPA's either I just try to drink Bud light or at any light here. It's my way. You don't fucking black out What the time we were married use the blue night Doing a show in Maryland and this girl is big unit got a hold of me And she took you back to her nest which is an apartment. No, I was going to no, no wait. What was that? That was a different one. Well, it's a dangerous conversation

We got in Maryland. This was no, this was like fucking eight years ago. Yeah, okay It's way back in the day. I mean definitely But this I was in like the bathroom line where the bit at the bar and she came back We smooched for a second and she gave me an over-the-pants I'm talking about the complete apartment complex. We left from that bar to completion out to the car Someone else was in that apartment complex. Did you come in your pain? I didn't come Oh, but we got outside. I think someone felt boobs and I was just joking around and I was like you guys What the fuck you guys you let me get a fucking over the pants hand job for that fat bitch

Yeah, I felt terrible tonight should have guided me and he did not he should have stepped in but that was before I was blue Nighted out. I was probably on liquor and yeah, I was on the demon rum stems. Oh, man I gotta figure out what you're talking about. When did I know that was the same night? I'm pretty sure We had to go pick you up We left the bar and went to a fucking waffle house and then drove back to Philly and there was another time who was driving Mackie yeah, maybe or blizz blizz That yeah, that was the yeah, I remember that place those in the rising Sun, Maryland Yeah, we have figured out this apartment complex somebody telling you bro

There was someone fell in love. Maybe someone else we went and pick someone up from like a fat lady apartment complex I Was like where they're like they have like a long tall steps, and they're also yeah Share space for fat ladies It's like a we work for fat ladies. I'm fairly certain. I'm fairly certain that was not me But I don't remember being picked up from the apartment complex with you might be another false memory This might be you I might have false memory. Hey, this I've definitely done this a hundred times. Yeah, I've done it I've got a couple of the CVS one time and like Prospect Park blacked out with a lady

It was like you're like, oh fuck. She's like I call my husband guys dick You're saying we could lose knowledge trying these research counts. I think alcohol is way more dangerous. Oh for sure But I have no problems for sure, but I'm not out here saying I'm seeking knowledge. I didn't say no You put that on me You can definitely You're right, you're I roll the tape back. I did say that. Thank you. I apologize. That's my case looks like my memory is not that bad I'm doing both Anyway, you might have swapped your timelines. I might have stopped I'm sorry

I Fucking dickheads have graduated into like the reality is not real Dickheads forever your whole lives and now you've graduated into like we're Dr. Strange Yeah, I guess what brother One diagram was like It makes it's it's one possible theory. Yeah, of course, that's all it's one possible theory It is a theory. I took a class on astronomy and astronomy and this guy was explaining that that theory It could be hologram. It's called could be hologram and universe theory some bullshit at the end of the day

They're all theories exactly. Do you know about the string theory not string theory? Hmm, it's the one where the universe is expanding and blowing up the exact same way every single time So you're gonna live this life for eternity. I mean day and night always gonna repeat day and nighter, you know It's not it's just a thing because the way the celestial bodies move. Yeah. Yeah, it's that's what I'm saying We think it's a real thing. It's it's a real thing, but also like kind of not We talk if you're in a shadow, we're just we're just living in the cavemen figure this out Good at debating the secret of debating is you just constantly keep saying stuff I do this to my wife

God is key. I'll gas her out. Like I'll be like, yeah I stopped debating a long time If you follow the podcast there was like a one-year period where we transitioned from when we were together Open mic and then Matt went through theories for a year and I tried to debate. I remember this This was like early podcast. Yes. I tried doing this Six seven years insane. Yeah, pretty nice. It's nice dude. I get to talk to him for an hour Two hours every week. It's fucking sick. I remember when you guys start I had no idea what a podcast was. Yeah, and Matt was like, I'm gonna do a podcast. I was just nodding like I was painting with

Spud. He was like you download on your iPad or something. It's like Yeah, he's like nobody's money for that I was like, there's a podcast called come town and they make a lot of money make a lot of money Now he's the K-podcaster but KOP broad. Yeah, man. I think Spud's the greatest in the podcast. He's KOP He hit a solo cast in the beginning of war mode. That was nice. I heard a little bit of it Bro, it was one of the I wish they had video for that because he's literally like Like this with his hand and then I'll say something like If anyone in the world could do one I mean, obviously you two you're an actor and a soul podcaster

Could do a solo podcaster. It's Andrew. I know I know but he never do nature. He's denying his true nature. Yeah Billy's nice to have on his podcast. It's a nice. Billy's a color commentator, bro Yeah, maybe one of the best one of the best what color commentators. What's a color commentator? Yeah, Matt, you're more of the play-by-play on this. I'm more color commentator for sure color I don't know the structure like someone being like if you're watching you Joe Rogan's a color commentator You're watching UFC It's like they got him an underhook and you would just be off the cuff just like so you're watching base like hockey Yeah, I pass it to this guy. That's that's the that's the play-by-play and then the other guy's explaining it and the other guys like here

Now, let me tell you what he did here. Okay, what he fucking that this is cool. Yeah, I'm learning a lot about broadcasting down here In reality and reality and alcoholism Let's switch over to the patch so that we can really delve into addiction Please join the patreon so we can continue to fuel our addictions