Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 403 - Reverse Soccer Karate (feat. Nick Mullen & Adam Friedland)

Episode Date: July 21, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch shanemgillis.com yo. We're back with another pipin' hot cast, but what else is new. The D.A.W.G.Z. are joined by esteemed guest and host of the brand new Adam Friedland Show, Adam Friedland!!!!!! The show's producer Nick Mullen joins the cast as well. Please enjoy.  Support the show and get up to 29% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRENCHED at https://displate.com/mssp?art=6247403451297 Support the show and get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code DRENCHED at https://Manscaped.com Visit http://www.liquidIV.com and use code DRENCHED for 25% off

I've never, I don't know. She does all this. I like it. It's like beauty and the beast. If she was not, it really is beauty and the beast. If she was not here, it would be a very bad couch and that TV, that exact TV and the Xbox. True.

What was the choice with having this wire exposed but then the rest of it? Oh, you're gonna blow his ear, pissing him off. That wire, so we got that fucking done and then I bought the Xbox later and then I just plugged it in because she tries to unplug it sometimes to make it look nice. You know it's not even.

Who are you? What's that? You know it's not even. It's like off like a degree and a half. Oh my God. I couldn't kill us. He's gonna be thinking about that the rest of the episode.

Who, him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hired a guy for like $40 to come fucking hang that off the internet. On task rabbit?

Yeah, yeah. You can just order my students to come over and make them do stuff. I still get emails for those. Like in my email from like five years seven years ago. They deleted my profile almost immediately. Why?

On task rabbit. I don't know. You must have caught some complaints. Yeah. I was like banned immediately. You come into people's houses. Yeah. I get emails for like TV professional hanging quotes.

Cause that was like the thing I put on. I'm like, yeah, I could do that, I guess. Cause task rabbit, you just sign up and they're like, what can you do? You're like, I guess I'll put toilet and TV hanging and then I'll check. So you can, you can just say you can do anything. Well, you can't really have credentials for that.

I guess. I can tutor math and I can unclog a toilet. That's how we have to staff up our new show. So if you've got some Chinese folks with bad diets, I'm on my way over. What, did you do any tasks? No. Like I said, they banned me almost like right away.

Why? I don't know. You just get to do one task. No, yeah. But I still get the emails from, it might not even be task rabbit. It might be like some other thing. Cause it was like when I was scrambling for.

Yeah. Yeah. I have an Amazon Flex application. I get like things every now and again for. What's Amazon Flex? They deliver Amazon packages. You're going to deliver packages? Yeah.

Do you remember when I did Uber for? Yes. I did four rides over the course of like two years. Never ever do. Never did it. Yeah. I'll be like, all right, I need to get money this week. Yeah.

Video games. I'll be like, I'm going to wait till night. You can do like four. I'll be like, I'm more of a nighttime driver. I'm going to wait till traffic's done. Which is the only time you should be Ubering. Yeah. It's when there's fucking traffic.

It is weird. I'll wait till like, and then we go to an open mic and then I'd be blacked out. I can't imagine being an Uber driver who was just sitting in traffic all fucking day long. They're going to a place that you have no interest in. Yeah. Yeah, it's fucked up.

You're not getting out of the car at the end of the ride. Especially in Philly. It was just picking up Asians. Yeah. It was just, cause we were right by the art machine. Oh, here you go again. So it was just. They're like, yeah, I just crashed my car.

So it was just. I need ride. I just crashed. Thank God you're here. I just crashed my fucking car again. Yeah. And then it was just tourists. Cause it was the art museum.

Asian tourists? Yeah. I want to see the bear. They want to see the river to bear. So what happened to this bear? Somebody crashed your car into it? The bear fucking caused this car accident. Lucky steps.

They do swim into the Rocky stuff though. They love Rocky. Yeah, Rocky up for Rocky. It's a big, yeah, of course. Rocky's a hit. Yeah. Cause that's, that's like karate to them. Right?

Yeah. That's their thing is karate and boxing. Yeah. No feet karate. No feet karate. Yeah. The soccer. Reverse soccer karate.

That's what they call it. They actually chant that in front of the statue every day. That sketch we wrote like eight years ago. What is this like reverse soccer karate? Yeah. Picked up some crowds one time and they were like, the city's disgusting. And I was just like, I was so close.

How dare they? Did they say like that? Germans are usually polite. Germans are like nice. Yeah. But nobody's nice to a fat white Uber driver. Really? No one cares.

Oh dude, those Koreans do those Koreans so mean to me. Who was? Those Korean boys. Yeah. They're tough. They were very top down. They're bad boys. They were speaking in Korean and then broke one second

to be like this fucking guy. Yeah. It was one of those like colloquial, or I guess, is that the right word? What kind of countries were they like? Were they like fast and furious kind? No, they were like the university. International, yeah.

Virginia Tech shooter, Bob. But they packed it. Dude, I was driving this small ass Corolla. Fucking five of them got it. And the one that talked shit was like in the middle like leaning forward. So he was like right here. What was he saying?

He was speaking fucking bullshit. And then one of the same, he's like, oh, fucking him. Fuck a him. Dude, I worked for a Korean guy. They were very much like, if they're the owner of a business, they're a king. Yeah, like he wouldn't he would come into his office and stuff on the floor on purpose.

And the like, his subordinate Koreans would come in and like pick it up for him. He would do it as like a loyalty exercise. You said it before that the Koreans are the Jews of the Asians. I don't remember saying that. They're kind of, they're kind of. You said that. They're like, they're just Asian.

They're everything. Like I would pick any race and apply it to Koreans. I don't know. I kind of feel that. Because it's like a comeback story too. Because they got holocausted and they came up heavy. Like after like the fucking like holocausted and Dresden. They got like both of they got it double.

Yeah, they came back and then they came here and open liquor stores and had their daughters get fucked by me rooftop. What if you see that? That's the thing like the right wing guys. I've met plenty of the rooftop. Can you speak any Korean I know I'm young. I say oh yeah cute means move. I know the way.

I didn't meet a lot of Korean parents. What's that? Well, what is going on? You know what he is breaking out. What do you mean? Oh, you know, Korean and you guys both know. You know, you know, big kid. I almost I almost converted.

You converted the Korean almost converted for a couple of women. Yeah, I was learning karate. I was doing everything. You did it. I was doing my bar mitzvah. My Korean you get your you get your force back from your parents to have it surgically attached to your eyelids. Just cut it in half.

You know, Koreans love fried chicken, too. Oh, yeah, I love fried chicken. I love to fry up a little piece of chicken. They do. They love it. They do. Have you been to that place? A bonchon fire have been there real good.

But yeah, they they crushed like Craig Popeye. Is your fried chicken good? Because Japanese fried chicken is dog. No, it's not. It sucks. I can see that. It sucks ass. You know, you see it on the menu at a Japanese restaurant.

I wouldn't touch it because people give it a pass because it's Japanese fried chicken. But in the world of fried chicken, that is the most dog shit fucking fried chicken. What do they do? What do they do? It just it doesn't. It's just the season is wrong.

Yeah, it's just bread and fried kind of shit. You can make it home. Yeah, good. I mean, all fried chicken, you make it home. What? Nothing. Yeah, of course. But I mean, it's like if you were like, I'm going to make fried chicken. You and you were a moron.

You come up with Japanese fried chicken. It's not it's not fucking Popeyes. You know, I mean, that's the best this week. Did you have it once? I haven't had it in so long. I was having a rest up. Popeye kind of looks Korean. And these did the cartoon guy.

You told me it was Korean, I believe. Adam, did you actually do any karate? No, no, I've never I've never used my body for combat. I had a sport where I played a sport baseball. You're a baseball. Yeah, but then I love baseball. I had to quit. I had to quit freshman ball because that's when they start taking you to the

weight room and my body hadn't hadn't changed yet. I had delayed puberty. So I wasn't putting up numbers in the gym with the boys and what I mean to you about it or I just thought I couldn't I couldn't float and then I got into debate. Have you got into debate? Yeah, I regret I never joined the debate club. That's all that's all. Yeah, you were the best friends, dude.

We would have been boys. We would have been best friends. Did you ever go up against anyone? The like the black debate teams? No, have you ever seen those videos? The content videos are amazing. OK, because you say it's fitting to be this way. Why can't it be the other way?

Why can't it be the other way? If it's going to be one way, this one says it's just yeah. Well, they drop in to what team is this? Well, they do. They do. There's it's one format, which I didn't do is policy debate. And like they do like Jeff Def Jam. You have like 10 minutes.

You have 10 minutes to get out as much evidence as possible. So they're like they learn speed. Do you have to prove the Holocaust? I think it's settled. I think it's settled. Shane, I think it's settled. I would love to see that the Jewish debate team versus the black debate team on the Holocaust.

As to whether or not the Holocaust is we gave you record contracts. If it happened, where did you were slave ships? Where did you sell boats? Couldn't happen. How to get the Jews in? They're starting to be some black Israelites going in on slavery never happened. I heard the North Atlantic slave trade never happened.

I'm loving that because they were they were in North America. I've heard that the black black black people were the Native Americans. Such a sick dude. Just be like, you know, they're about slavery. They're crunching in those back offices of the black and the white places because they got like, you know, everybody's racist.

Everybody's a psycho race. You know, essentialists now. So what do you do if you're a black Israelite? Yeah, even the basic shit they were saying 10 years ago. Yeah, Beethoven was black. Yeah, it's like now that's like that's that's they're saying that on black ish. Yeah, that's making that movie. Right, exactly.

Black Beethoven. Yes, you got to go slavery didn't happen. Yeah, it is tough. They got to find something that somebody would be like, whoa. Yeah, what the fuck? Because now they're out on the street just saying exactly that. You know what the next next one is, is Italians or black? Yeah, do you think they'll claim them?

Yeah, I mean, in my book, it's that's been settled for a while. That would be sick if they claimed Columbus and then that would be ruled. And then we got Columbus Day back. You know, Columbus was a newbie in Kang. It was came here. Barry Geometry, the black Israelites in D.C. That used to chill outside the gallery place movie theater. There I remember one time I was like, I think I just saw Django

and I walked out to them about it and I was like, have you seen this movie? It's phenomenal. No, yeah, you would love it. You would love it. You're going to like the end of Jew to Jew, Jew to Jew between us. Yeah, but I just think they're they're taking the Israelite part more seriously. No, but like they were like they had a megaphone, you know, the megaphone guys. They're like, they're like, yeah, they got gay animals now. The animals all gay.

And then this white woman is like, you can't say that. He's like, suck my dick. Bitch, you like literally got in her face. It was so funny. She started crying. Good. It is just lost to a flame for white women. Oh, yeah, they can't help them. OK, I do need to say something now, dude.

There was a they just get fucking distraught. Yeah, I love because they always start up. They start with emotion. That's like, I care about you. Your pain. I can feel it. But you need to be quiet on my term. Yeah, they always start there. And then and then it gets to the yard.

You also have generational trauma. Yeah, I'm going to call a police. Yeah, sometimes a slap on the state. I've seen one where a lady got slapped. I think she hit first and without hesitation. Damn, you know, as a dozen. Dude, they're she slapped me. Fuck it.

Right there, there was a homeless guy recently, like shirtless, dude, calling himself a faggot out loud outside my house. I've been a faggot my whole life just screaming it. And this lady came by and was like, sir, there are children around here. Please stop. Oh, my God, dude, let him fucking be. What was just my kid? I'm like, my kid's fine with him saying that.

Yeah, I say it all day. Every time I drop something, don't worry about it, lady. How am I going to explain this homeless faggot to my children? He was having a good time. I was like, dude, let him be. And she was like, I got it. It's like, dude, just that's fine. But, dude, we have a serious war going on near my house.

There is a group of old dudes that chill outside. It's like right next to my house. It's my squad all day long. They're they got their eye on a package piracy. So there is on the look. It's fucking nice. We shot down a lady on a mountain bike. It's been hitting pretty hard.

It's pretty sick in black neighborhoods instead of rings. Like they just have a dude out there. Well, so the ring does nothing. Yeah, all it does is fill someone's day. You get to see somebody steal your shit. Yeah, it does nothing with that information. Dude, but there's now there's an influx of like, like, right, legitimate mental patients,

like younger dudes that are like must have got out of an institution. Are they in the hospital gowns, though? No, no, they come out and there's it's just dudes just sitting there. And then like one will just the other day, like open my door and some do is hitting a trash can. You're like, fucking kill yourself.

Kill yourself is beating the fuck out of a trash can. The old dudes had a band together. But you're not allowed in our park anymore. Fucking right. They're expendable. And out. Wow. Against like three, three homeless patients or there's a lady on a mountain bike who steals gross. You got to get you got to get like a uniform for you

and the old old dudes. I might like guardian angels, like red berets that be like a be pumped. If you got on the throwback like jackets and braze, it's only an mc club. Yeah, you got to be like if we got beef, we got to we got to break it down with break dancing. That's how we used to do it back in the day. You know, who's that guy that ran for mayor as a Republican?

Curtis. Yeah, I didn't vote in that last election. But if I did, I would have voted for him. Well, what do you do? He like he was the guardian angels started the guard. Yeah, that white dude. What? Yeah. He's a Puerto Rican or something. But was he?

Yeah, he was he would he wore the beret. I would have never know. They're the new shapeshifters. I'm actually pretty good. Well, there's no way you're going to win. It's like you're not going to because you knew like no one's going to have a mayor that's wearing a beret. Yeah, you know, and he refused to take it off while campaigning.

So it's like, OK, so you're banking on people being like, I want the beret guy, which was never going to happen. He was a Republican with a beret. Yeah, yeah, it was a Republican. Yeah, yeah, he was a guardian. I mean, it was like a tough bray. Yeah. Yeah, no, it was like special forces. Oh, he was like, yeah, he was like, oh, there's to beat up

dudes on the subway. Yeah. Well, he's from like a type of New York that's been gone forever. Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, I think he was. Wasn't he good in the 70s? Wasn't like actually those guys were good until death wish to came out. And then then it became fascist to want to do vigilante crime. Nice. So he wanted to like go beat people up on the subway.

Well, it was hell here. Also, I think those guys, those guys got like wrecked all the time. They'll be on the train and they're like, leave that girl alone. And they just get stabbed and get fucked up. They were like, nerds, basically. They're like, let's start. Let's start the hall monitor thing. You ever see the picture?

And we're going to get braised to scare them off. Like the Patriot front, you ever see videos of them? They'll show up places. Just get the fuck me down. Are those the guys on the right? Shields. And they're like, they think they're Spartans. So they're like, hold the line and dude, just black dudes are just wailing on them.

It's pretty great. Yeah, we missed the boat of counter protesting. Well, we could have like clashed. I never clashed in the streets. It would be fun to clash. The clash. Yeah. Like one more. So I want one last class. We should just start a middle.

So when Antifa and when Antifa and fucking Proud Boys or whatever link up. But guys, we don't we don't vote true. And just go in. That's not a bad idea. Both you guys are gay. Yeah, I wouldn't mind if this is a counter counter protest. Yeah, just shut it all down. Yeah, true.

And bring weapons if we need them just to keep the peace. Spring firearms. Just in case. Spring firearms. What's the law and rifles in this city? Can we get all this early? You can't have guns. You can't.

It's really bad. Yeah, the Supreme Court just change it. Yeah, it's. Shouts out. Dude, the Supreme Court. Yeah, I think you can have a rifle in the rest of the streets of that. Yeah, the rest of the state, you don't need any kind of like permit or anything. But in New York City, can I bear arms at all?

I think you can now. Yeah, some weird thing where there's not there's technically not like anything against open carry, but to even have a gun. You got to like you got to pay like 10,000. You got to be rich, basically. Yeah, that's like a little letter that you can only be going to a firing range or from the firing range home. That's like, I think the only people that had guns in New York City

were Robert De Niro, Donald Trump and Anthony Coombe. This is the only three people with a concealed carry. Do you remember that when when when and like he got into it with that black lady? Yeah, you remember how he got canceled? He was like, clearly just filming some black lady. Yeah. And then she was like, I don't know. Go ahead.

No, it's funny to imagine him falling or be like, look at her. And I'm not sure that's what happened. Yeah, I don't know. He was anybody because he was like, I was taking a picture of the scaffolding. That is offensive. But but then Penn Gillette. Penn Gillette posted on Twitter like afterwards, he's like, you should be thanking Anthony Coombe right now.

And then posted a picture of Anthony Coombe is concealed carry permit as if we all like owe him an apology for not murdering that black lady in cold blood. What was what was their altercation about? He was he was clearly like just filming some black lady being like, look at this baboon or whatever the fuck and then she saw him recording her and she's like, fuck you. You know, and like started hitting him up, you know, like any words of recording

the thing. And then he posted it on Twitter and was like, these people are all fucking savage animals. And that's why he got in trouble. And then serious was like, yeah, you got to go. Yikes. Yeah. That'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. That's just nuts.

He was just taking a picture of the scaffolding. Right. Whomst mongstas. And he got attacked. That was the story. And then took to Twitter and his problem is he doesn't know when to stop doing radio, you know, like you can't walk around the streets doing fun bits. Like, let me record this. And they call her a savage because you can't claim that it's, you know,

just irony or whatever you can attack. Yeah, right. Times Square. Yeah, yeah. No, but the cover story I was taking because he if I recall correctly, he was like, yeah, this scaffolding wasn't here. And now it's here. And it's like, oh, what is what a shocking thing to see is scaffolding

in Midtown, Manhattan. That would be funny if the real story was him looking at scaffolding and they like, ma'am, and she makes shut the fuck up. And he's like, what? Yeah, ma'am. As I said, that could have happened. Yeah, there is that side, ma'am. Good day, ma'am.

He could have also been shitfaced. And he's like, what the fuck is this building this fucking bullshit? Yeah. There's that. He might have been photographing scaffolding. Well, you could be drunk enough to take a picture of scaffolding in 2001, didn't he? Oh, he got canceled a ton of times. Oh, really? Yeah. But they kept going and then finally they got him.

You had to go pretty hard in the pain, too. He went pretty hard and they got him. You get canceled right when Dr. Drey's, the chronic 2001 came out. You had to be going so you could say faggot back there. Well, the way it used to work is like you could do a lot. You could get away with a lot. You could do you could do racism or homophobia or whatever.

But as long as it seemed ironic. And then then it progresses where it's like, OK, he's serious, but at least it's so funny. Yeah. And then once it gets to the point of like, look at this. Look at this lady. Look at this animal. Black lady. I mean, even in the world of racism, like just remarking on some black lady in New York City is as absurd

and unnecessary as remarking on the scaffolding itself. So like even in the world of racism, yeah, you're like, what the fuck? Wow, you're just trying to racist. Yeah, right. Yeah. He might as well be reaching as straws there. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, damn, you're not going to see another lady like that until you go around the corner on the next block.

Go into the next Dunkin Donuts and wait until somebody orders a blue coffee. And then you'll see that same. What's the softest if you thought like that was the one, though, to be like, dude, this is going to crush. Yeah. Yeah. This is fire. This video is fire. That tweet. Wait. So did he tweet the video or just I don't remember. Didn't he get his whole career doing that?

Someone's going to electric shock OJ like video. Wasn't that like what would put him on the map? Well, I thought it was getting mentally retarded men, boners, like getting porn stars to grind on mentally retarded men. I thought it would. I mean, maybe that's a good bit. It is a good bit. Yeah. The man is an institution. Yeah. We can't. We can't argue that.

It is fun. Yeah, in a bad way. Yeah, getting canceled for just trying to record a black lady is. It's fucked up. That was like Howard Stern had a big sexual component. We got it. I want to start adding like a lot more. We should be in here. The fact that we're not like like hard and there's naked chicks all the time. Kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm going to do that for the Adam Friedland show. Yeah, we're going to bring back. We're going to bring on public intellectuals and then get them to do we got that one or Clifton and we're going to guess where the pussy smells. God, did you find the post? What was it? It says the cunt animal kept walking into my arm.

The cunt animal. As did Locke saying, don't touch me. She would hit me. I hope a homeboy beats her to death. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's such a funny wish to the universe. I hope she's beaten to death by someone of her own race.

Yeah. No, I can say that I knew Patrice, so I could say that. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of that's crazy, man. Imagine Patrice doing that for him. Like he's like an angel's in the outfield situation. Just getting coming down. It's on you now, homeboy. You're going to have to save and you go.

You're going to have to save it by beating this bitch. It's just the angel pushing a black dude faster. You've got to beat this black lady to death so he can stay on the radio. So he doesn't try to do his own shit back in Long Island to domestically abuse a 12 year old girl on camera. Yo, really? It's up to you. The Adam Freeland show, the cast coming in hot, dude.

Yeah, it is funny, though. I'm the producer. You are the producer. I'm not on the cast. I'm just the executive producer of the show. He's going to dangle people over balconies. I got to figure out like how far we want to take it behind the scenes and then let Adam kind of box himself in, you know, 24 seven.

Yeah, I got to put I got to put it all, you know, we got I got to give him like a wholesale like we're going to do all this and then you can select what you want, sort of like Costco samples. Yeah, I like that. How do you feel now that you're going to assume the role of star? I I mean, it was my idea. It kind of made me. I mean, it's a good me or reluctant leader, dude.

It's a good to get flamed on the podcast for six years and then have Nick force me to change the show to my name. Because for me, I was like, we have a brand, Nick, that we've built for six years. Why are we dispensing with this? And he's like, no, dude, this is the move. You got to trust me. That's the next evolution. My producer had the vision, you know,

come town is over. That's the past. Adam Freeland show brand new thing. Yeah. He goes building a six studio. Yeah. We're still using the old Patreon to fund it. Yeah.

What other than that? Brand new. Yeah. We're transitioning the Patreon really. I listened. I did my research. Oh, really? So so there's going to be a dream segment.

Yeah. How concrete is that idea? What's the dream segment? We got to get Matt fucking loves dreams for real. Have Matt on. Oh, you come on, dude. Adam's dream. We do the thing where we spent 40 minutes

kind of describing a dream of me getting raped in the 1940s in a giant Buick. I listened to it yesterday while I was building a city. Did you really have a dream about that? I had a dream, but they kind of put a little flavor on it. I like it. Sim City shit. Is Sim City still going?

It's called cities or something. I forget. City skyline, dude. Yes, I was building a very beautiful city. Yeah, it's the same thing. Oh, OK. Wait, what was your so you had a dream? You did you actually get raped in your dream?

I did have a dream. I was, I mean, not to get real, but I don't remember any of this because my mind is always the next step. What are we doing next? It was suits involved. Yeah, the dream was that the dream was that a guy had a gun to my head. OK, and I was in the front passenger seat

and he was trying to force me to fill a. What was the gun? Is this a real dream? I think the type of gun is more important. It was a dream. And I talked to my therapist about it and he said, it's not that you're don't worry. You're not gay.

It's a it's a you're afraid of humiliation and you're not a homophobe. Yeah, so that really presents the idea to your therapist that you might be gay or did he just say? No, I was like, what the fuck was that? That's what he pays him for. Yeah. Is that your first homosexual act?

It's part of the show budget. Is we got a guy that tells him he's not gay? Well, it wasn't a homosexual act. That was a gunpoint. You are a big gunpoint. So it was a rape. It was more about the power than the true. But then I wrestled the gun from him and then I killed him.

No, but in the dream, I then had to shimmy over. He just put the gun to his head. He's got his car. We said that a countdown once where the Joker puts a gun to his own head. It was very funny. Stay tuned for the Adam Friedland show. This is a new experience.

We're transitioning. We're center left podcast now. Nice. We're mainstream Hollywood. No one's doing lib shit. Yeah, we're doing like Hillary. Yeah, they're either fucking fascist or they're like, you know, like fucking communism.

Hell yeah. Coffee shop stuff. You're just pro Kamala. Yeah, we're pro Kamala pro Israel. It's time for the Adam Friedland show and the time is now. And it's the show that belongs to Adam and he's the star of it. And it's his time. She's hard to watch.

You almost feel bad. I feel bad like watching her give speeches. I'm like, oh, man. Well, it feels like she's just wherever they keep her. Where does she stay? She's at the Naval Observatory. That's where they're getting fucked up off wine coolers all day. And then she tries to leave to go to like Kazi or something.

And she gets accosted by a reporter that's like, what do you do? What do you do? What do you literally name one thing that you do? And she's like, um, good afternoon. Thank you for calling. Movie phone, like whatever is it, like the option to her brain comes out of her mouth.

Sleepy kind of sets her up though. Sleepy. Sleepy knows what he's doing. This might be the worst. This might be the worst president vice president combo as far as speeches go of all time. Yeah, I believe. Yeah, I don't know.

I'm not really a speech guy. So I don't really know. No, I mean, just hearing them publicly speak. Yeah, it's not compelling. It's like these guys are very bad. Yeah. Yeah, I guess Bush was funny. Bush was at least funny.

Chaney didn't really talk. Chaney shut up. Fucking Dick Chaney. Or a pencil. This is a good orators. Pencil is phenomenal. Pencil is kind of fire. Pencil is fire.

Pencil is fire. That's what we're saying forever. That's Kamala and the big guy. That was amazing. That was a blowout. And then they all had to be like a fly landed on his head. He lost. So I don't know.

Yeah. When she stepped in it with the vaccine shit, that was hilarious. Yeah. She said she won't take it if Trump made it. Yeah. If Trump made the vaccine, then I'm not on my watch. Not for this queen. What did she even say? Yeah.

What? She said that she wouldn't trust it or something. Yeah. I hope Anthony should make a... Anthony should say a prayer for Kamala. You think so? Anthony Kumiya should pray on Kamala. So many cosmic homies.

Anthony Glock was like, that one might be a little bit too far, man. I don't know if we could pull that one off as heavy. You have to do it on your own now. Yeah. Yeah. She's a... Didn't... I think she just came under fire for saying something like trying to link abortion to slavery.

Nice. I just glanced at the news. I don't want to slander our vice president. I glanced at the news and heard that she was reaching out to potential to see if she could run for president in that league. What? She won't... Yeah.

She's been wanting to... I feel like the next time we see her, she's just permanently going to have one eyelid closed. Like there'll just be one shut every time she's speaking. Yeah. She's... She's kind of fired though. Kamala? She kind of looks good.

I mean, it's good. It's good. People need to take it. No, I think she has a center and a center left. Yeah, you're right. Main stream left. Oh, I forgot. Yeah, yeah.

I can't be... You guys got to vote for her. I can't be talking shit on Kamala. Oh, Gavin Newsom. There's a picture of her and Montel Williams in the 90s where she's really... Newsom is wild to me because that guy's whole career is dependent on him doing a Barack Obama impression. Yeah. Like he's just doing a Barack Obama impression and then morons are like,

that guy's familiar for some reason. Yeah. I mean, watch him speak. It's like a professional comedian level impression of Barack Obama. He put out... I saw an ad of his that was like literally just a smug. Yeah. He's like, do you still believe in freedom?

Yeah. Why don't you come to California where we believe in freedom? Don't live in Florida. But he does all the Obama stuff. He's like, freedom is... It's good. You know, he like does the shoulders. He does like all the...

Does he do this? Watch. Yeah. Find the video. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they all do this move.

So fucking weird. But he's got this... But it's like kind of like tempo. The same... He's like, yeah, it's like somebody doing a like perfect impression. He doesn't do the voice, just the mannerisms. I'm excited to see the wave of dudes coming that are going to do Trump. Well, that's the thing.

It's like Obama is the Democrats Trump. Like they're both once in a generation. And there's like mad guys that like Ted Cruz has tried to do Trump before. And it's like, it's impossible. Can't. Yeah. You don't have the sauce, man. You don't.

You don't have the... I don't think Kamala has the sauce. That's my... They've all gone... All the Republicans have gone ahead with Trump at some point. 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,800 And he's like blowing them the fuck out. Yeah.

You know, so you can't like try to be that guy. If there's a clip of him being like, this guy's a fag. Yeah, you can't. Yeah. That's why they're like, no one can run. 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,360 If he decides to run any Republican that wants to have a career in the future, can't run for president this year,

because he's going to call them a fag. Yeah. And everyone's going to go, yeah, I guess that guy is a fag. Every Republican is going to be like, yeah, fuck Marco Rubio. No, the only thing that'll fuck Trump is that he's still like a vaccine guy. Because he came up with it. And they removed him. They removed him.

Yeah. And while he was gone, like, you know, all of the Trump guys are like, and Trump hates the vaccines. Yeah. And now, you know, I mean, he's still like... Project or vaccines. Yeah. Yeah.

The beautiful vaccine. God, you got to fucking bulge, bro. You got to have a big ass dick. God, you got to like that huge. You move your hands. Don't adjust it. No, I pan the camera. Is that the balls?

Wait, are you hard right now? No, it's just now you told the story one time. It's just we're going to show his bulge on camera. This isn't Legion of Skanks. Yeah. For you. Yeah. We got to bring out an intern and make him say the n-word.

And zoom in on his face. Don't check that shot, Gardini. And, you know, for real, Gardini, tape that thing down, man. We're trying to fucking talk. It's distracting. Talking. Yeah, dude, don't be fucking graphic, dude. He's a great comic, this guy over here.

Oh, yeah. God, dog, yeah. He's very, very funny. He's very funny. He's a superstar. Yes. He's the next big thing. Wait, what did you say at Funny Moms that you thought they didn't like?

Oh, you said a trans thing. Oh, yeah. We do our show at a trans bar. I should have told you. I should have told you you're behind. You guys are going to have to change the lines. Now you guys are like center left. What are you talking about?

They're our writing staff now. We got to be super pro trans. To be center left, you got to be super pro trans, but also have no idea what trans is. Yeah, true. Yeah, yeah. And also be disgusted by them in real life. Right, yeah.

You think trans is your son getting a care and haircut and riding a razor scooter? And outside of that, you're not really familiar with what it is. Yeah, no, we're pivoting hard, dude. I'm selling the fuck out. I don't care. We're going to get big celebrity guests. Simon Pegg is going to come on the show.

I heard. Yeah, you told me this. Yeah, I just going to get vaccinated on live. I'm going to get vaccinated every episode. Nice to hear how safe the vaccine is. Every episode, I'm getting a new fucking Elmo. What's your guys's take on science? On science.

Yeah, real or no. Do you believe it? I don't know. There's some science, I believe. Like we were looking at that study yesterday about whether or not Down syndrome guys sperm is viable. I just want the science I trust. I want this pandemic to end so we can get back

to the real questions of if can two retards have a normal kid. Yeah. That's what science needs to be doing. Yeah. Instead of this this crap with this. And folks, there's only one way to find out. And then we cut. Yeah, well, this is your average.

I'll be cut video of them fucking. We censor it obviously because we're trying to get on ABC at some point. We're trying to sell this show. Once the pendulum swings back. Once the pendulum swings back to forcing mentally disabled people to mate at gunpoint. Yes.

When do you think the pendulum is going to swing back? Yes. Senator Lapis. Do people say that to you after shows? Oh, constantly. The pendulum? Yeah. They say that.

It's like, what pendulum? What are you talking about? I mean, don't get me wrong. There's definitely, I've said it. Oh, you said the pendulum thing? Years ago. Yes. I stopped once everyone started being like,

when's the pendulum going to swing back? That's how people's minds work is that it's like, well, things got way too woke this time. So when the inertia hits back again, fucking segregated restaurants, why, that's going to be a thing. No more interracial dating. We're going to have American Bandstand back.

Full size sedans. They think it's just going to be like 1957 immediately. Most of that would be sick. What? Full size sedans? Yeah. Or American Bandstand. American Bandstand.

If we had like two shows. I think big suits need to come back. Big suits. Capping interracial relationships. I mean, there are truly too many. Too many interracial relationships. It looks like you're in Sim City after a while. You know what?

You know where it jumped a shark? Interracial relationships? Blasions. What are you talking about? Because they had a hot. It's the coolest kind of person. No, it's not, dude. What are you talking about?

That's kind of why 9-Eleven happened. Is it the 90s? The 90s. No, really. The 90s, we reached this kind of like humanity realize. It's like, we're going too far. Like we had the Matrix and it's like, this is too good.

It can't be real. Late 90s, Rough Riders, all that fucking Chinese shit black people were doing. And then they were like, let's actually mix. And then whatever, the collective consciousness was like, blow up the towers, wreck the economy, forever war. You think Kimora Lee just set it off?

I'm trying to think more of these. Who's the most like Blasian, Blasian? I mean, Wu-Tang started it. True. No, but that, no, that goes back to the 70s. Black guys were in it. Oh yeah, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Yeah. Good friend of the podcast. Great friend of the podcast. That fucking dickhead. Did he get mad at the podcast? He wrote a fucking article. Kareem?

Kareem trashed me. The Skyhook? Yeah, dude. You should do a character. We should do a character, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. And it's a fucking, it's a Blasian who writes articles. That's great. What did he say about you?

He was just trying to sell a book. So he, he wrote a CNN op-ed about how much I sucked. And then his son stabbed the guy. Kareem? Yeah, Kareem's weird son. Sounds like one of ants prayers was answered. Man. You're always up with a Blasian theory.

That is so funny to pray for black on black. Black on black. Black on black. Black on black. I'm still learning how to speak. No, you're Blasian. I'm Blasian now, yeah. I'm pretty excited about it.

Center Left Blasian podcast. Yes. You guys got, you guys have something cooking that's fucking wild right now. What? Center Left Blasian podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, Blasian talks you. True. We're going to have, look, this show, Adam Friedland's show is going to drop. There'll be video. You guys do need to get for real a black DJ. Yeah. Like, you know how every late night's doing that shit?

Yeah, we're going to have a Blasian guy that's got a sword that he plays the piano with. Just elevate Blasian voices the whole time. Only Blasian guest. That's fun. Yeah. We'll have Simon Pegg on every episode and once again, you ever fuck a Blasian.

He's like, you're all for this lost episode. I had costed him the other day and asked him to do my podcast. Yeah. Who? Simon Pegg. Yeah. This song we ran into him. Who's Simon Pegg?

He's like a Rickager bass type. Oh, perfect. Yeah. I just, I've been saying he's on the British office. Yeah. Because it's like, he might as well, he wasn't. But he might as well have been. Yeah.

Yeah. He's one of those guys. This guy. You know what I saw? Sean was dead. They should have possibly been dead. I don't know any actors, dude. This is a personal weakness of mine.

Hot buzz. I only know John Travolta, Will Smith. Dude. That looks like Coldplay. No fucking clue. He made like good movies like 10 years. I don't believe it. I don't know.

It's not anything he's done in the last. It's purely my fault. I don't remember anything. He's on the, he's in the reboots of Star Trek and the Mission Impossible franchise. Yeah. But that's not funny. Now you're talking.

He's like a real actor. Now you're talking. He's the comedic relief. Is he the, is he by the Russian guy in the Star Trek? No, he's the Scottish guy. Oh, he's, oh yeah. He's Scotty. Yeah, Scotty.

Yeah. What's his political lead? It's weird that you could do that with Scottish people, but they couldn't have a character on the show that's like, Chinese, Chinesey. You know what I mean? What are you talking about? They had George II.

But that's the only type of racism that still exists three million years in the future. Yeah, we can still trash Scottish people. You fucking drunk. But they never got rid of that accent. You sheep fucker. Yeah. No, they had George II on Star Trek.

Yeah, but they didn't call him anything. What do you mean? His name is Sulu. I thought his name was Gay Blasian. Yeah. I want to hear more about your debate team days. True. What type of topics were you fucking with?

I know you remember your big wins. Yeah, I cry. I used to be like pretty much every woman I went up against. That was easy money right there. Yeah. They'd fall in love with me by the end of the debate. What are some of the subjects you took on? I did LinkedIn and Douglas today.

We should have women on for you to debate on the show. That'd be awesome. Well, that's the format of the new show. It's like we're male guests. We're building a set. Male guests that we appreciate as sexual abuse and stuff. George Blasian built a career off just going on shows demonstrating women in debates.

Just crushing women. Yeah, he got that one lady the one time. That British lady was just like, are you being mean? He's like, what? Yeah, that was good. She's like, well, you're being rude to me now. She started losing. Yep.

I don't recall consuming any of his content. And he was like, JP? JP's got some good shit. I went to the Gizek JP debate in Toronto. Oh, yeah, I forgot you went to that. With my ex-girlfriend. I just went to one. I met him like two months ago.

I love the pod. He was like, oh, that must have been bloody hard getting canceled. Yes, it's a miserable thing. I was like, yeah, it sucked. I just remember him being like a pronouns guy. And that whole debate is like stupid. Yeah.

It's like, where does it fucking matter? But when it started, he was right. What do you mean? It was he though, because the whole thing, because Ben Shapiro would do the same thing. It's like, I'm not calling you a woman if you're actually a man. No, no, he would say, if somebody asked me to call them by that, I will.

But the second the government's mandating it and making it illegal for me not to. Is the government doing that? In Canada it was. In Canada it was C-15 or something. Well, Canada has a lot of dumb fucking laws. Yeah. So when it started, he was absolutely in there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think someone was like, this is a slippery slope. This is going to be pretty shitty if we keep going. Yeah. If the government's going to be like, you better say that. That's weird. But did that happen though? Shit got pretty gay.

I think some ladies want to go to jail. He did kind of call. Some lady might go to jail and sweet it down. But Canada, Canada, Canada was a, Canada doesn't have like free speech though. Canada was around the same time. I remember they sent some like comedian, they have these like human rights tribunals.

There was a comedian that made fun of some like little boy with cancer. And they blocked me up. Put him in like jail. Where was this in Canada? Yeah, yeah. So fun. Yeah, it just happened again.

It keeps having Canadian comedians, keeps getting fucking locked up in Canada. But how does that, what do those laws actually look like? Because if a trans person goes to Starbucks and the barista is like, hey, nice dick, mister. You know, it's like, yeah, that should probably, That's written on the cup. I think you should be able to like, yeah,

sue Starbucks if somebody does that to you. Now you go to jail, you're locked up right away. I think it's like, in Canada. If you're a nice dick, mister, a trans at Starbucks. Yeah, let's say, in Canada though. Not here, in Canada. That's outside in Canada. Ten years.

You want to go about drops of gloves? It's the hockey fight on site. Good fight bud. Just whoops some dude, some transphobes ass. Did they do land acknowledgments when we were on tour there? No. That's a new thing. They're supposed to be like,

Peterson was right there. Pretty soon we're going to be acknowledging there's no way to do anything. Adam Freeland shows doing a land acknowledgment. We are on sacred Jewish ground right now. Native Americans are all groups, okay? There's nothing you can do for them. Any attempt to like make up for the past

to Native Americans always makes it worse. Yeah, because they got like really, like the land acknowledgments. It kind of sucks, there's never a Native American around to be like, thanks guys. Yeah, right. It also wasn't me. Oh, it was like, oh, this used to be your house.

So we're going to be quiet for 15 minutes. We're going to say sorry, open the screen, movie theater. Yeah. Like what the fuck? Yeah. They're not doing anything. Changing sports teams names.

It's, it fires me to fuck up dude. I'm so mad they're the Cleveland Guardians right now. Yeah, so this is mad about that. What is that dude? They're the fucking Cleveland Guardians dude. Guardians of the Capitol dude. It sucks. True.

Poor Guardians of the Democracy and they came in there and stormed the Capitol to save us. True. To fucking stop the steal. Yeah, you're actually right about that. There's nothing you can do at all. It's like, yeah, guys, we're, yeah, we're sorry. Yeah, it was bad.

Yeah, it was past. Sort of like, even if you gave, even if we gave them the country back, even if like, all right, we'll pack up all the blacks, ship them back to Africa, and then we'll move back to Europe. Because I mean, we're not taking them to Europe. What do you mean? No, so, so we say we do that.

They're the best part. We put everybody back. They're the coolest thing we got to go right now. They're the only thing driving. No, I'm saying we just better than any other culture because we have cool black people. I'm saying, he said hit the rewind button. I'm not already.

I know what you're saying. I follow the logic. You put everything back where it was. And we're sending you guys back. I'm taking, I'm taking some blacks back to Lithuania with me. All right, whatever you want. This is a conversation. Europe's gonna be pissed when we send all these Jews back.

I have to give them predatory record contracts. It doesn't matter what Europe wants or what Africa wants. This is a conversation with the Native American. Okay. All right. All right. I'm sorry. We can ask, though, how they would feel

about an influx of American Jewish immigrants. Who are your friends? Oh, they didn't want us there. You know what we should ask is the Ukrainians. So we should send them all to Ukraine. Oh, yeah, those guys love Jews. Yeah, they need more people there. Yeah, just like I have to join the Azov battalions.

Oh, there's one. The Nazis. As a cheerleader. So do you guys need any help with any of this? God, the rockets. I don't have any combat experience. You're making Mulan. You have to disguise yourself like Mulan.

Where's the church? Easter is right around the corner. You were giving yourself a big nose. Hey, fellas. So you were wanting to all the migrations and then the Native Americans. You guys need to make fun of us non-Jews? What do you mean? I'm just saying, if I want to play with the Azov battalion.

You gotta get rid of that big nose. I don't know what the fuck else could I do. I was planning actually like when we thought come town was ending and we're like it's over over. I was going to get extensive plastic surgery and then just change my name, try to start start over again. We never talked about this. This was my idea.

I was like, I've ruined my good name. I'm called a homosexual, but I'm one of the most cyber bully Jews on the internet. I was like, what the fuck else am I going to do with my life? I'm going to get extensive plastic surgery. Move to Miami. Probably change my name. Like a podcast witness protection. Yeah.

That's a good place for Jews to hide. Would you, if you change your name, would you go more Jewish or less? No, I'd go like a secret Nazi. I'd be like, uh, yeah. No, I mean, but now, now I'm a, now I'm a center left talk show host. Save my life. That'll get you back in good grace. It'll get me back in good grace.

I've, I've done a lot of bad things. I'm, I'm going to make up for all of them on the show. Yeah. Me and Simon Pegg. I wonder about that a lot. Just if I'm going to be 50 and look back on like the last 25 years of my life and like, what the fuck? I think you get old enough that you don't, you don't care.

Right? That's true. I don't know. Like 50 years old. True. It's like, I'm going to die soon. That's true. How much?

Yeah. 3,900 weeks. I looked that up the other day. I get 3,900 weeks, roughly. Yeah. Women get 4,400. That's how many weeks we have? Roughly.

Average. 40, 3,900 weeks. I've solved through half easily. Dang. So you're looking at another, man, 15 hunts, dude. That's 52 weeks in a year. It's 1,500 weeks. Like 2,000 good weeks.

Yeah. Yeah. Fun weeks. Yeah. Yeah. Remember when it used to be the only thing that they'd say you regret was like tattoos? Like you're going to look back and regret those tattoos. It's like, yeah, that my decade of racist podcast.

I'm prolonging my fucking man child existence. Same things that aren't even funny to me anymore because I know what the formula is. That's what the pigs want. Yeah. So it's a black lady and she's going and dunking donuts. I still, just clocking in at the office. Yeah.

00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,280 What if, you know, Grant was Chinese? I will say, dude, you might be on the highway to collecting Nazi memorabilia. I am, dude. You're like very close. Look at that. You know, some people might say this is already Nazi memorabilia. True. You know what?

The Native Americans. True. You're welcome to all of the Native Americans who are living on reservations. It would be cool to let America go back. Abject poverty. Yeah, you got to figure. We should just show. Well, my point was, is that it still would be bad.

It's like, then they'd just be living in the ruins of cities. What? They get sick shit, dude. What do you mean? Would sick shit. No, but we got to, no. We got to take all of your jets and fucking. We got to take all our stuff back.

Yeah. They don't get to keep our stuff. You know what it would be? It would be like Battlefield Earth, basically. That's how they would be living. We would also have to separate them back into their original tracks. I do think. I think they got to figure that out.

I think white people have 150 years to get to space. I think that's the only fair thing we can do right now. They think it would be space. From Methias. We've done enough, dude. We've done enough. People think it would be like Matrix 2, but it would actually be like Battlefield Earth.

Yeah. If we get, if they had it, if they had it. White people have done enough, dude. At this point, we're like Jordan at the Wizards. It's like, dude, look, we did it, dude. Somebody else needs to come up here and start. We need a Kobe, dude. True.

Now, the end result, like Tess, like fucking Elon Musk has got to figure out a way for us to live on the moon. Do you know his? We can all go to the moon. There's nobody. We're not taking anybody's home. Yeah.

And we'll just be up there and we'll just watch. Man, they're smearing the fuck out of that, dude. They're smearing him so hard right now. Well, dude, do you know what happened with his dad? Yeah. His dad knocked up his stepdaughter. Yeah. But he hears dad's defense.

She was hot. Dad. And he was single for 20 years, dude. I don't think his dad did anything wrong, though. I mean, dude, his dad made any hall, Manhattan. Dude, celebrities with Commonwealth parents. Always the Commonwealth parent always goes hard. Mel Gibson's dad.

What happened? People were like, Mel Gibson's racist. And then his dad spoke. And people were like, oh, Jesus Christ. He was like radical Catholic, right? Yeah. But he's like. I'm Commonwealth child.

Yeah. Gibson. Gibson put out a kumia prayer on that voicemail. Yeah. Yeah. He put out a fucking kumia prayer. I don't know if we can get a whole pack. And he was close with Danny Lover.

Oh, yeah. He is a joke. That's true. You're the boys with Danny. We're the boys. He's like, look, you know I'm not an angel, right? We're friends. We're in a movie together.

Dude, I've given him the past multiple times. Mel. Honestly, now that we're going full Hollywood, I'm going to rehabilitate his image. He's such a good actor. Dude, if we could get Mel Gibson on the Adam Friedland show, though, I would love to. Daddy's home.

And I'd make him apologize to me. Yeah. For all those things he said about us. What did he say? He said we were on the media. Tell me where he was wrong. What? Give me what he said that was wrong.

I think it wasn't he getting a DUI when he said it? Yeah, he was getting it when he was yelling about black cops. He's allowed to get a DUI. Once you get a DUI, what you say should legally be explained. What's crazy is that it's like, was this like a Jewish cop? Of course it was. In Hollywood, it's all Jewish cops. They just opened the door saying it when they were on the step out of the car.

He was like, fucking Jews. It's so funny you getting a DUI, but he's fucking Jews, man. Bullshit. Yeah, yeah. Well, wasn't it like pointed? It was like you people. He was like saying all this, like directly to the body cam. I don't really remember what he was saying.

You didn't get the message out. He was just like the Jews are setting me up. They might have. Do you remember when Barkley got a DUI? What did he say? What did he say? He was like, I'm be honest, officer, I'm going to get my dick sucked right now. And if you ever got your dick sucked by this bitch,

you understand why I'm driving right now. Damn, Barkley is the fucking greatest. He's the best. He's the best of all time. He just got points this week. Was that? Did you see him? I don't know where he was, but he was like,

if you're gay or you're trans, I love you. And then you trended on Twitter for saying that. Barkley said that? Yeah. We got to say that on our show. I feel it already, but we have to say it. How the fuck did Barkley say that? I don't know.

Just why are you so upset, bro? What's wrong with that? Because dude, that's not my job. My job wouldn't do that. Chuck fucking rules. I think he threw a guy through a fucking window. Pain glass window. He's a lead.

This is the latest evolutionist thinking. He might be like, yo, if you're gay or trans, I love you. He probably has a gay cousin now, and he's like, fuck. He probably just had a montage of shit he's done in the past. Oh, yeah. He is crazy. It's such an old man thought, but you walk around and it's like, fuck, was everybody trans, and they just didn't have permission

to do trans until like two years ago? No, yeah. There's a lot of them. In Brooklyn, yeah. It's spiked elsewhere. Has it spiked like 400% or something? I think it spiked a lot. I didn't see this.

I think it was kids, but it spiked quite a bit. Cheering have been trans and hard. The children are. That'd be fun though. If you're eight and make them, it's gonna be a girl. Yeah. I want huge tits. I want to be a big bimbo.

If your parents are being mean to you. For my 7th birthday, I want to get bimbo-fied. I want a huge brats. See a brats doll laying on your sister's floor? She's like, I want to be that fucking brats doll. I want to fuck that brats doll so bad I want to become her. Dad, I want to be Latina. Do they have brats dolls?

Do they have brats dolls? I want to be a big booty Latina. What do children's toys look like now? Because they can't do. Stop it. You're going to be fucking hard. Like dolls are, you know, that's like a minefield, right? To make dolls.

Yeah. Yeah. You can't make sexy toys anymore. Yeah. It's got to all be puzzles. It's got to be those shit toys from the Discovery Channel. Yeah. A puzzle with chains that are stuck together.

So what the fuck is that? That's a good toy. So you have a son. You can play with it for 10 seconds. Yeah. You do this twice. What? Whatever that thing was.

Gift shop. Gift shop to like science museum gift shop toys. The thing that expands. The little like sea slug kind of thing that you put your finger in. I used to love those. Those are good. You could put your dick in that. Yeah.

Mood ring. Mood rings are tight. Yeah. What? So you have a kid. You're a boy. You was my favorite from the gift shop as a kid. Giant penny from the Smithsonian.

Oh, yeah. That's a giant coin. That's a good gift. Yeah. Were they like mashing? Got cranky. No, no, not one of those. They make like coasters.

It's like a big. Oh, shit. Yes. Of course. Like a big penny or a quarter. Wow. Yeah. You know, if I said that, I would be in your corner 100%.

This is a new era. This is an Adam Freeland show. Let me get your take on this. So if you had a son, your son trans and he's like, I dad, I don't know what I'm doing. You have full design of my female body. What would you do? Oh, how would you mod them out?

I would probably try to make them look like the woman that I've cheated on his mother with and use that as like a power play towards her. I get I get him jacks arms, metal arms. And he's like, how is that more like a woman? Yeah. I'm just be like, it's just tight. Just hand him a picture of Sonia Blade.

Just be like doc. Yeah. I'm going to make him Laura Croft. Do your best. I want square titties. My son needs to have the tightest pussy doc. Do what you can. I would go high pussy.

Up here. Yeah. So they can still fuck. You know what I mean? Because it's like I want you to be dominant. You're not going to be laying on your back. That was that Marlon Wayne's bit that we Marlowe sorry that I'm my stealing Marlon.

No, no, no, no. You remember when we were in the cabin, we watched we watched his special. Yeah. And he did some demented thread about like his son being gay or and then and then I don't know where it was going. And then finally it got to where it was going. And it was that he wanted him to fuck ass.

That's that's my boy because he's fucking ass. Yeah. I think that's in like the standard black comic tool. If my son gay, he he the one I got to introduce my lady to Tom Myers this past week. That's awesome. Oh my god. He was I went to MacGooby's and they announced that I was

going to MacGooby's and Tom fucking smashed me on the comments. He was like, I hope you guys have Chinese food. And that's what this is what I love about Tom is that like it's like it's just it's it's schizophrenic because it doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? So Chinese people are going to come to the show even though he's racist against Chinese people.

It doesn't make any sense. And I got to show we listened on the drive back from Pittsburgh this past week. We listened to make America made again. Yeah. The whole way. Fire. Amazing.

The whole way through. It was it's fucking crazy dude. And then Ian was in the backseat. He was the one asking for it. Fightance was like, let's listen. Let's listen to it. By the way, dude, you guys ever do a weekend with him? No.

Oh boy. That's tough. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, I can imagine. Come on guys. Shut the fuck up. He loves living in the moment.

He's such a little cocksucker because he'll get me. Yes. He's like he's like he's like if the like the live laugh love signs had like alcohol spilled on them and some sort of radioactive lab and then a person came out of that. He gets me too. I'll be I'll be at the cellar and I'll be like he like you gotta like I'll be like, yeah, come on the road with me.

Dude, it'll be fun. And he's like, oh, thanks, man. I appreciate it. Second he gets in the car. He's farting. Yeah. He's like, what? He just becomes a fucking monster.

Last time I saw him, he's like, hear me out. You give come town to me and micro scene. I do it in my apartment. You and Adam keep a percentage of the money and we make it a new thing that's amazing. Be an Ian. I mean, just give you. And I was like.

You guys give us your. Yeah. How about hear me out? Give me your podcast. Hello sharks. Yeah. Damn. I don't want to be mean to Ian.

Obviously. No, we love getting in rules. Yeah, you can be love. But man, that's a lot. Hi, I don't need his energy. Don't match. Hi, yeah. He's just very optimistic, but optimistic in a way

where it's like he has to be to hold. So he doesn't do drugs. Yeah, you know. So it's like, this is your journey. Like there's nothing to do with me. I don't need to be super excited about going to Panera. He kept asking for Scott to be his intro music.

So I kept going back to the sound booth and say, make sure it's it's raining, man. And he didn't know I was the one doing it. And he was like, they keep playing. It's raining, man. What the fuck is this guy's problem? That's so funny. He's so mad at the sound booth.

I was like, turn it the whole way up and get it to right where it's raining. It was so loud. There you go. He's like, what the fuck? I told him to play. And he knows, he knows every fucking bullshit band you've never heard of.

That's the conversation. That's it every time. How many Scott bands are there though? Mighty, Mighty Ballstones. Yeah. That's one of them. Real big fish. Real big fish.

No doubt. Does that count? That kind of does. Yeah. Yeah. That was a cool period when Gwen Stefani got obsessed with Asian ladies. Yeah.

True. I liked her a lot. Yeah. I was excited around that same time. That was an exciting time of my life. What do you call it? What is that? Like Italian, Asian, because Blasian works.

What? Stefani is Italian. I never realized she was Italian. I never thought about what she was. Stefani sounds Italian. Yeah. Right? I've met multiple, I would say two.

Two white chicks who have fully just immersed themselves in Asian culture in America. That's pretty sick. They're like only hung out with groups of Asian friends. It was always very, it was like weird to see. Because it's a male trait. Yeah, true. Exactly.

They last ever ride. I saw two girls last ever ride in America. And I was always so like, and like, how did you set this up in your life? It was a nice girl fantasy to just be surrounded by minorities and be the best one. Like the last samurai. I am the best samurai.

They treated her really bad. No, yeah. The dudes would all fuck her, but wouldn't like, and no serious relationships with the girls all just like planned against her. That's awesome. But she continued to stay in the circle. Were these inner city Asians?

I don't know. I mean, they lived in the city, but I don't think they grew up in the city. Okay. I think they were from like other countries. Oh, sick. Yeah, they were like, maybe she got like into some weird like Asian studies.

Was she at school? I think she was in a skew. I see. You were immersed in Asians? In your skew? It's skew. No, I worked for the cruise. I worked for the cruise.

Beard ship here. I thought you were Indian bros. My Indian bros. There was my Indian bros and my drinking buddies. I went to an engineering school. I went to an engineering school. These guys were business majors. Like Indian, Indian.

I feel like. Yeah, these guys were like American dudes. Everyone, there's a type of Indian guy that's always just somebody's friend from college. Yeah, like when they get married, you're allowed to wear the costume. Yeah, they're always there. Yeah, they're marriages.

Yeah, like I named like Vic. That's always like all these days. Like, oh, what's up, man? That's awesome. That's like the only thing he ever says. All right, Indian friend in college. I didn't get the invite to his wedding. That's really like.

But yeah, my boys, they went, they were all like wearing the fucking genie costume and stuff. And I was like, that looks so fun, dude. You're allowed to do it. And apparently he pulled up on an elephant. What? Yeah, he pulled a Prince Ali. Was it an arranged marriage?

I don't know, dude. I don't know what it was. I think they're good, honestly. Yeah, that's actually a good idea. They arranged marriage. They should just have arranged pussy. You know, where it's like. It's a turn beers and point.

Yeah, by the way. It's like, you want to cut down on school shootings? Yeah. Arranged pussy. Arranged pussy. Everyone gets to hit the number 20 in their life, but exactly 20. And that's decided by your parents early on in life.

Oh, so they're going to give you 20 lovers? Yeah. Yeah. And you can only fuck 20 times total? Or you just get 20 women? 20 times. We'll start there. 20 times.

Yeah. Oh, you got to save those. You got to burn through those. It's up to you to blow it. It's up to you to break the law outside of that. But yeah, 20 arranged fucks. And then I don't know what you do. What's Jordan Peterson's point?

We'll just repeat what he actually thinks. I forget exactly what it was. I think it was like women need to stop being so fucking choosy. Oh, he's calling you some kind of a hypergamy or something from online dating gives women access to like the top 2% of dudes that like the dudes they desire they have like a direct line into them. Sick dick. So then it ends with like it ends with them just like dudes fuck all the chicks

and like none of the dudes get access to pussy anymore. And that's why they can just email chats basically. Now they're going to flip the bloody game. They're just going to flip the game board over. Take the game out. If they can't win, they're going to flip the game. Historically, there's an answer to that. Now they want chaos.

Now you're talking the Joker. That's a myth. That's as old as time. That was lucky. Historically, the answer is like you just find all the guys over six feet that look like models and you kill them. True. You just kill all of the fucking chats.

That's the answer. It's not doing a podcast where you're like, we should all have a certain amount of pussy were allocated by the government every year. You just kill the top Tinder guys. It was going to be tough to get. Yeah, you could kill it. You use the beta sigma males that are good at computers.

To hack the Tinder database. Find out who those guys are and systematically eliminate. Show up and rape them. Death by firing squad. I think that's fair. Yeah, I think you. I think he wasn't. I don't think he was saying like allocate pussy.

He was just saying like this is going to create a bad sitch. Yeah. It's like all the babies are going to like four dudes. Again, but what is the bad situation? Like a recession. Like no, it's just fucking jammed dudes. It's just lost themselves with fucking access to AR 15. Does that because Japan has always

Japan like that though? No, you were in a small town. Yeah, you had to pick. Like you'd be out doing stuff and a girl would see you doing stuff and be like, I guess I'll fucking marry that fucking. Every story back then is like he kept asking. Yeah. I was dating other guys and he kept asking.

He killed them. And then a couple of them went to war. They didn't come back. Nobody fucks in Japan. Like those guys like 40% of men don't fuck. That's what's up. And then they don't have like mass shootings or anything or like. Yeah, but they're subdued with panties.

You know what I mean? These dudes just get panties. The dudes that the in sales in Japan just literally sniff panties a while ago and go back to work. They have vending machines like used panty vending machines. Yeah, they love panties. We went there a couple of years ago. Yeah.

And then as far as I can tell, like the worst thing they have, they have like a debt crisis or something. But is that like an asthma inhaler for like possibly shooting up a mall? Dude, you should sell panty candles in Japan. What? That would probably make good money. Yeah, dude.

Panty candles? Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Like diptych, but with just like woman like country smell. Yeah. Like what's her name? That actress did that. She already does that.

Oh, Goop. But you better be fucking selling that over there. Did Fergie sell a pussy candle? No, Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth Paltrow? Yeah. Really? It's a reasonable guess.

Yeah. No, Goop. That's what it was. Pussy candles. Fuck you. Come on. Goop. Cause Fergie pisses herself.

You know that actress. Fergie. Fergie. Actress, Fergie. So you get a guess. Do you think Fergie was hot? Yeah, she was. You think so?

I thought she was hot as shit. I was always kind of skeptical. Yeah. I was never in. I was, I liked her. She was like, she was like, she was like Shania Twain where it was like one of those female celebrities where you just assume is hot because they're famous.

Yeah. And then you get a closer look and you're like, good fucking war. It was like that for me. Goop was hot. Yeah. Yeah. Ellen was so famous.

Shania Twain didn't have teeth. I couldn't keep myself. One of our friends masturbated to Roseanne one time. It was like the last ditch ever. For the last ditch ever. What? He just, it was like a long, it was like back before like the internet.

And I remember he told us. That's what Jordan Peterson is warning about. He's like, someday people are going to be masturbating to Roseanne. Fergie was hot. Let me see. Yeah, she was hot. She was hot.

I never, I never really got mad. And I think she's older there. Yeah. I know. She had like a Carmen electric. Undoubtedly hot. Yeah. I don't know.

Lots of things. I think she, yeah. I don't think she got, you know, I think she aged out of it, but there was a nice phase where the black eyed peas were at the top. Yeah. When let's get retarded. Back when you still say our word, yeah.

Yeah. Well, no, they changed it. The R slur. Get started. It's, it started. Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong.

I'm telling you. Actually, I don't, I mean. That's back when they were hot. I kind of, I kind of don't mind that. That's kind of a Lola Bunny kind of look. It's not great. That's Fergie. That's for delicious.

I mean, definitely. I would. Now I think she's hot. I don't know what it is about that picture, but it's kind of turning me on. Now I kind of like her. All right. Yeah.

She was hot, dude. Yeah. Come on. Shy Twain. She's got the visor. She is hot. Shy Twain's got a hot. No, no, no.

Shy Twain's hot as shit. You got to look. That's her. Is that Shy Twain or is that just some ladies? That's her now. What? They had to fix her, dude. Oh, I'm telling you.

I have no idea what Shy Twain looks like. No, when she like she descended from the mountains, she was fucked up. She's Canadian. Yeah. Yeah. Who's saying, damn, I feel like a woman. Shy Twain.

Shy Twain. And that was after the first surgery. I'm going to do Shy Twain, 19, 35. No, she was hot. She was hot. No, she was hot as shit. Dude, you're wrong. You're wrong.

I'm confused. You're wrong with somebody else. Dude, she's so, dude. Shy Twain's hot as shit. That's Shy Twain red carpet, like 1997. Crazy. Bro. Look at her.

She's crazy. You're wrong. If you. No, you're wrong. Why isn't Shania Twain? Look at that. Yeah, she's insane. Look at her on the cover of Shania Twain up.

She's the artist. Damn. Shania Twain, 1995. Bam, bam, bam, bam. Actually, I should tell her. This is crazy. Yeah, she's. What are you talking about?

Here we go. That's an old pic. That's wrong. Beautiful Southern guys. That's so wrong. This is for you. This pic, dude. Come on.

Oh, actually, it is. You would have, you'd love that. Shania's settled on this. I'll find the fucking documents. Don't try to. This is her style of evolution. I'm just trying to. Try and fucking shake me down with a couple of Google

socials. This is crazy. Shania Twain might be. Here we go. Here's my thinking option. Shania Twain might be. No, no, no, no, no. You need some credence to your theory.

No, that's hot as shit, dude. That's fine. No, this is after they had to, like, fix her. Shania Twain might be a couple of guys number ones all the time. No, they did. Definitely. Something happened.

They did something to her. You had Julia. Matt, yours is Julia Roberts. I'm going to Celine Dion. I'm sorry. 01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:32,680 Celine Dion was the one. Celine Dion had a bit of a greyhound look to her.

She was never hot, though. No, yeah. Celine Dion was the one that was, like, fucked up back in the day. Because she was, yeah, she was from, like, the mountains. She was from, like, the Canadian mountains. Look at Celine Dion. She looks like an extraterrestrial now, dude.

Look at her. No, she descended from. Yeah, she descended from. She looks like a fucking alien. Look up her husband. She's married to her manager. These were the kind of freaks we sent over to take the Native Americans land.

And they stayed. Like, they set her up. She was, like, the fucking scout. Yeah, Celine Dion. Celine Dion looks like a grey. Shania Twain. Fine. Sorry.

We apologize. Yeah, it was. I mean, you're confusing. I think all women look the same to me. You know? As a homosexual, all women are the same. You know, they're like Koreans to me. It's all the same thing.

You're telling me you're telling me you could take a pass on that? Who's going? It's like an 80-year-old Celine Dion. What is she wearing? A giant diaper? It's like a diaper that covers the whole top of her body. She's wearing, like, a loose bikini.

Yeah. How old is she, though? Probably 87. 87 years old. 01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:35,480 I mean, she looks better than me. She's 54. Celine?

No way. She's what? 54. No way. No way. No way. Celine Dion's 54 in that picture? She's not 54.

She's born on March 30. She's not 54 if she's born on March 30. Oh, like, March 30. March 30. She's not 54 if she's born March 30. No way. She's 68. No.

She was born in 68. She's 54. That's kind of hot. She's 54 years old. I can get into that. What do you mean you could get into that? I don't think you could physically get into that. Her pussy looks like it has ribs.

It's a ribcage. Yeah. Her pussy has its own skeleton. It's like fucking joints and shit. Yeah. Why are you trashing Celine? I think she likes it, dude. I think, honestly, we're trying to get her on the show

and she responds to this. Sure that you could apologize to her. You should get some, yeah. What type of other, what type of guests are you thinking about? What other public intellectuals? Okay, public intellectuals. I want, what's his name? The guy that professor from Harvard, the black guy that was in The Matrix.

Lawrence Fishburne. Yeah, Lawrence Fishburne. What do you want to talk to him about? The Matrix. Why wasn't he not in The New Matrix? Yeah, what happened with that? What kind of opinions did you unleash to the trans director of the New Matrix movie that they didn't want you in the movie?

Because you know that's what happened. That has to be it. Yeah. He has to be transphobic. Yeah. He needs the answer to that. I want to get a couple of pedophiles on the show, see what that's all about.

That'd be cool. Nick doesn't like, I keep making this joke, Nick doesn't like it. I just want to see, you know, no one's trying to help them out, you know? So. The pedos? Yeah, yeah. You know, we should, we should just see, you know, what their side of the story is. But we should get them on the show the same way Chris Hansen does.

But when they show up, they're like, there's no 13-year-old, but you're not going to jail. You're on a podcast. You're our guest of honor. I'm just, what are you doing here? Yeah, what are you doing here? What's new with you? What's your sign? You know, how did you get into this kind of stuff?

I'm wearing pig tails and like a fucking one piece pajamas and stuff. I'm actually a man. That'd be funny. Dude, if you were pedophiles and interviewed, that'd be the best thing ever. But maybe if you don't talk, we're going to give you, we're going to give you up to the police. I don't, yeah. Have a podcast.

Give them up to the police anyway. Then have the police coming at the end of it anyway. And still have the police spear them out in the front yard. Have them sign a release. You know, it'd be a better show, a hidden camera show. You'd lure pedophiles in, they're like, look, none of this is on camera. But we do have the evidence against you. You're going to have to go to fucking 114 14th street and rob the Chase Bank and bring the money back here.

Or we fucking ruin your life. Yeah. And then that's a great. That's like a business. Yeah. Because then you can just lure pedophiles in. They have to rob banks. And then once they're like, no, somebody set me up.

Because no matter what they, if they're going to jail. I've never seen this pedophile in my life. 01:12:25,480 --> 01:12:29,480 Your option to go to jail as a pedophile or go to jail as a bank robber. So it's like, even if they get caught, you're still there. They're going to be a little hush about the pedophilia. Yeah, exactly. So they don't get butt fucked.

Right. It's actually a really good idea. That's why I'm the executive producer of the Adam Petafile Slave. Get pedophile slaves. Lower pedophiles, catch them and be like, you're mine now. No, they're, they're not hard workers. Yeah. A lot of dudes on that show.

They can be out of your mind. Pedophiles are the most hardworking people in the world. Yeah, but they're, they're on one plane. They drive like eight hours. They work really hard on one thing. But like, if we're like, as the most normal pedophiles, like they're like upper middle class, white collar guys, like Jeffrey Epstein is probably the most famous pedophile of all time.

And it's like, that's just the one of those kinds of guys they caught. Like you're insane to think that there's one Jeffrey Epstein and not probably hundreds of them. Yeah, but you can't catch a rich pedophile. I know, but that's what I mean. How do you think he got there? They said, oh yeah. Everything Jeffrey Epstein did was so that he could fuck children.

Yeah. So not only did he become like one of those. By the way, your theory or your idea was exactly what the CIA did with Jeffrey Epstein. What do you mean? They were like, we caught him being a pedophile. Now we can use him to lure it. We can make him do our bidding or we'll destroy him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what's funny is they used to do that with gay people. Before it was like just okay to be gay. Like they would just fucking like have a, there was like, like Roy Cohn did that a lot. Like he was like a homo. So he would be like, well now that I fucked you, I can like manipulate you or whatever.

But that was, who was that guy? Craig Spence? Yeah. He got caught like. Kind of sounds what women do in general. Yeah, yeah. Like now that I've got you in my apartment. No, I fucked you.

And blew you. You have to come with me to this place. You could also lure pedophiles in and just do fear factor. Yeah. That would be tight. You could lure. You could pay the fucking dudes who hung that TV up. Be like extra 100, whoever he says.

Hey, them to be gay or? No, not gay. But just do fear factor with fucking task rabbit dudes. Yeah. Dude sending pedophiles out on task rabbits and taking like 50% of it would be, if you just started pimping out pedophiles for like very menial labor. Yeah.

And if it's not, I'm going to ruin your fucking shit. You got to learn. Try to hang those two. You can command an army dude. Disgusting creep. Well, those are the only two ways the CIA has to make money is selling drugs and pimping out children via blackmailed pedophiles. Yeah.

So if we take that business from them. They'll just kill you. Yeah, probably. They'll kill you right away. If you get into blackmailed pedophiles, yeah, they probably get you. They're like that's all shit. Me and Rasim are laughing about that the other day. For some reason, everybody that like criticizes the CIA,

like very publicly to make a career out of it, they're like, and here's what they actually did. Well, time to fly my own single engine plane across the country. I don't know if you should get your pilot's license if you're going to make a career out of shitting on the CIA. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You're really handing it to them.

I'm center left, dude. True, you're pro CIA. I'm pro deep state. Nice. Yeah. I'm pro. Epstein killed himself. We got we got to really pivot.

That guard would sleeve yourself. Not only did he kill himself. He killed himself because of rantai rapid, rabid anti-Semitism that's now in the form of like anti-Zionist rhetoric. I mean, that is partially true. We can agree. Epstein would have still be alive in face trial if Americans were a little bit more sympathetic

to the plight of the Israeli people. Yeah, it's true. I mean, Harvey for sure. Yeah, that's anti-Semitism. Yeah. Yeah. Why they get Harvey because he's a powerful Jewish man in Hollywood. One of the only ones that was fucked up.

Harvey when they took him down. He do yeah. He did what he had to do, bro. What's he going to knock it head? He didn't even get ahead, dude. No, he's just getting pussy. No, he got like some kind of heat. So he had like apparently like the end of the road with dick pills

is like you got to give your dick injections. You have to give it like like like that. Like a pulp fiction is fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like Narcan basically wake your day.

Oh my God. And so he would have like these injections, these dick injections that I guess he like got some kind of infection from the injections. And there's like some type of like gangrenous infection you can get where it's like in an hour your dick and balls are gone. Like Jesus. Yeah. Some flesh eating like virus or whatever.

So he just basically had like a pussy, like a mangled like thing. And the raping that he was doing was he was like forcing women to let him like, you know, like fucking like eat their pussy out. Yeah. Like God. So he had no dick. He's a good guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Just imagine him like coming you're you're on the bed. You're all fucked up on pills in this like like like basically like the brain bug at the end of like Starship Troopers is just making his way over to you on his like little tennis ball walker getting ready to just suck your pussy. And you're like, at least don't be in Boardwalk Empire. And then it doesn't even happen. Yeah.

I can see why you would want justice. That's terrifying. I know that. Yeah. I don't know. He didn't have a dick. Yeah. Changes everything.

No, they like drew. They like posted. Yeah. That was like half an egg or something. Yeah. For real. But that was Epstein had an egg dick. The trial was the trial was them showing his dick.

What? And they like showed it to people. That's so funny. Look how shitty this is. This was rape. Harvey Weinstein's deformed penis explained. Maybe that's why he was so testy. That's so fucking pathetic.

That should be enough, dude. You don't have to lock him up. Just run articles about his deformed dick. Yeah. Yeah. It's a deformed genitalia as a result of a life-threatening bacterial infection known as Fornie's gangrene. Jesus, man. Yeah.

The infection can strike middle-aged men in diabetics. Weinstein's 68. This is one of those things that shouldn't be in the news. Like this should be like the amount of people that are going to read this and be like, What if I get that? 01:18:40,040 --> 01:18:40,040 01:18:40,040 --> 01:18:42,040 Once you said diabetes, I was like,

01:18:42,040 --> 01:18:46,040 What's that, a sketch with no dick? When bacteria enters through a cut or scratch in the genitals and spreads throughout the bloodstream, some patients require skin grafts, but more extreme cases such as Weinstein's Require an operation to remove the testicles. The deformity was first revealed in court when actress Jessica Mann, one of Weinstein's accusers, said she felt compassion for Weinstein after she saw his deformed genitalia, which appeared to have scarring as if from burns in his nether region.

According to writer Phoebe Eaton, Nice gal. Yeah. What's wrong with taking passion upon my genitals, dude? Yeah. Aw, these gal take care of this guy. The man said her first impression was that Weinstein might be intersex. Nice.

Yeah. Was that like geniquir? No, it's like medically. Oh. You have ambiguous genitalia. And then, they assign the gender at birth pretty much. They flip a coin or like.

They're like, this is going to be a boy. What? And then people grow up and they're like, I don't feel right. Yeah, yeah. It describes how Weinstein's hapless assistants were often dispatched to a secure caver jack that drug that is directly injected into the penis before intercourse can cause an erection. He did. Damn, I had no idea.

Yeah. I had a whole different picture of Epstein, dude. Weinstein. I can't, you know what I mean? They're very different. We grabbed the thing out in the hall, Noah. One of the display thing, we have to read an ad. Oh, fuck.

Oh, yeah. Guys, you excited to read ads? Yeah, we're going to get a teleprompter for the freelance. That'll be tight. You know what I really wanted to do? Put what up? You know what I really wanted to do is get... Well, we're halfway.

Oh, good. If I could get old TV cameras from like BBC 70s. That'd be awesome. Yeah. I think they cost like millions of dollars each. You can just get a regular camera and add that filter. No, no. I mean like the actual camera.

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all of your bases from head to tail. Get 20% off from free shipping with the code DRENCH to manscaped.com. Matt, great job. I feel like these ads got fucking longer, dude. They did, man. They're getting fucking greedy. These fuckers are getting greedy. The ultra-premium. I love how, too,

advertisers can just make up words. This is ultra-premium deodorant. Don't shit on them, dude. People respect the exactness of language. They stole that from gas companies. Ultra-premium, yeah. Manscaped... I like the Boxers.

They're nice. Honestly, the toilet-tree kit is really nice. This is the best sponsor we ever had. Which one? I'm not saying the name, because they fucking... Good job. They shiced me on the pay. What do you mean, shiced her?

You guys, dude. You guysed him. I mean, you guys. You motherfuckers. What I do with new sponsors is I give them a test read. Abandoning Germany after World War I. You guys, dude. Selling Germany after World War I. What you guys did to the German people.

Yeah, they hoarded all the gold in Spain in 1400. Yeah. I would do a deal with... This is just boring, but I would do a deal with sponsors. You give them a test read for a discounted rate with the understanding that if they bought more reads, then they make up the difference on the next buy. Yeah.

And so they were like, yeah, sounds good. And then they bought the read, and then they were like, yeah, is there any way we could get the test rate for all of the reads? You guys should do commercials. That would be tight. For real, just film sketches for commercials. That's part of it. That's already in the web.

No, this is all about advertising. We don't care about content at all. We don't care about agency and do our own commercial breaks for sponsors and charge $80 billion. $80 billion. Because it's a trillion-dollar industry. So where's our piece? I can't wait for my slice.

Guys, I'm really excited to see what happens with the Adam Freeland show. Adamfreelandshow.com. Look, we're about to leave right now for $20,000 on a fucking... Yeah, we're signing our studio right after this. I'm fucking excited. If you go to patreon.com slash come town,

which is the piggy bank for the Adam Freeland show. It's about to change. For some reason, I'm locked out for making any change to the Patreon. Why not just leave it as it is? I don't know. We'll figure it out with them.

It's the Adam Freeland show now. Bigger, better, more Semitic, more Lib, international, we've got Simon Pegg on. Very sort of British comedy, more intellectual. Yes, as we're leaning to. We're going to have...

Have you seen these cheeky photos of Harvey Weinstein's penis? And then it's satire. It's more... It speaks to society. It's his penis anyways. Mobile phones. It's about mobile phones.

And in a lot of ways, it's about society. When you combine the two of them. That kind of vibe. It's good evolution. What Simon Pegg does. It's more big picture. Simon Pegg is coming on the show. You guarantee it.

I'm down Simon Pegg now. When you was in school, did people call you Seaman Pig? Was that your nickname? Did people call you little Seaman Pig slut boy? In your elementary school days. So whatever they call it over there in Jolio. Before we go.

Can you tell us one debate, dude? Yes. I need to hear about... I did a Lincoln Douglas debate. Give me a topic that you won. We did one about no child left behind. The Bush Administration and Education.

No, you had to do both sides. Come on, bro. I don't believe in anything, man. Dude, I'm on this show right now. I'm doing anti-Chinese. Anti-Semitic. Non-Jewish comedy. You just brought that evil vibe in here, dude.

We were trying to meet you, dude. We actually have pivoted the more... We already did pivot the most. I wish you had told me. I wouldn't have showed up dropping. I wouldn't have said that stuff about sending black people back to Africa. You said Rewind History. You're talking about Rewinding Colonialism. I didn't get to make my whole point.

You're talking about Malware. Rewinding Colonialism. Which is actually pretty progressive. Extremely progressive. I'll have to make a very long post on social media that makes it worse. I was like, look, I only said sending them back to Africa

to make a... I said we would do that as an apology to Native Americans. And if you listen to what I actually said for once. The context. I'll clean it up. I'm really good at that kind of stuff.

Getting out of controversies. They call me the Jew weasel of saying the N word. That's my nickname. Papa John's. They call me the Jew weasel of the N word saying. Yeah.

We're hiring a big staff, big writer staff. We got Simon Pegg in the room. Simon Pegg's in the writer's room also. We got Dan Lakata. We got the sweater brothers. The sponsors are lining up. We have been talking about...

Do you know these fellas, the sweater brothers? We got them in the room. We're going to do a riff from one of the... from the podcast from two weeks ago that neither of us actually remembered. I don't remember what the riff was. Listen guys, we're monsters. What was the joke?

Don't ask for help. It's you're the star. Nick knocked me off course. It's funny, that red light comes on. Adam gets real bashful and shy. You got to see this monster when the lights off. Listen, we have to get ready for on camera.

This is a new thing for us. I'm uncomfortable, but I'm on uncomfortable off camera also. You played up a little. You're real shy, bashful, hardthrob on camera. Off camera, you're a real fucking dick. I'm a fucking piece of shit. Where's my coffee, you fucking boob?

Yeah, you can't do this. It smells like shit in here. Where's the fucking coffee? It stinks like shit in this apartment. Where did you do it here? It smells like shit in here. You fucked up the watermelon. You cut it wrong.

I thought that's our girlfriend while we're in this sharing. That's his mentality. When it comes to women, it's sharing. I just come on. I appreciate the hospitality. You could have had a coffee maybe with a mug.

Get his ass out of him. He's right. You could have had a coffee for the guest. You could have had it with a baggy chain mug. True. You know how stressed out we are? He's about to spend $20,000 on a studio. I hate spending money.

The least you could have done is get him a coffee. Why do you not like spending money? I didn't even bring the fucking watermelon. We're going to have a racist on the show. Let's cut up watermelon to see if he says anything. I know exactly what that was. As soon as I got in here,

let's see if we can make Mullen say something racist. They're trying to catch a predator. We're not going to fall for that shit anymore. No. Let's see if he makes the obvious joke about a bowl of watermelon in a stinky dark apartment.

You think I'm dumb. You think, look, this guy, why you have that over there? Why don't you line a site? Let's see if he says anything about the Golden Monkey. That wasn't in here before I got in here. I'm just impressed with your evolution.

I'm surprised you didn't even put the... you line these up and do like a little menorah thing. Yeah, little Shabbos candles over there. Let's see if we can get him to make a Hanukkah joke. Every other episode of the show doesn't exist and it's in here just trying to bait me. You set me up. They got Moneyball playing on the TV right now.

Moneyball rules. There's not so much money on this team. You could do it cheaply, Nick. I've been saying. We're going to do our own Moneyball. I'm going to be Jonah Hill and Adam's going to be baseball. Yeah, I'm going to be baseball. Jonah Hill died.

Oh yeah, he did die. That's right, yeah. Somebody else died. There's been a lot of people dying this week. I guess you know what, it's just podcast ending. Didn't the Bodega boys, they just third-done too. They had a fall out.

What did they fall out about? I don't know. It happens, man. That was actually it. Let's go ahead and call it a podcast. Unless you guys want to keep it rolling. Adam, maybe do a couple more plugs for the camera for the Adam Friedland show.

Show them that star quality that we're going to be just putting out. Get a close-up on Adam. Ladies and gentlemen, the Adam Friedland show. Adam Friedland show. I'm going to be like the Paul Schaefer kind of. You're using off without the keyboard? Yeah, I got a keyboard.

Yeah, you're going to sing? Yep, I'm going to sing. I'll have the piano. Well, not without my keyboard. No, not on me. Keep it on him. Your fans are the dogs? Yeah, yeah.

What's up? Is Adam Friedland here? I'm directly into camera right now to all the dogs. We're starting a new podcast. That's a live TV show. It's a talk show. It is a talk show. It's going to be like something you've never seen.

It's not going to be like, but it's going to be the Adam Friedland show. It's going to be brand new. Real quick, just interrupt. This will never sell any of your products as like something else. People want to reference. No, they do not. That's how you get the money.

As far as the audience is concerned, this guy, nobody's done anything like this before. Yeah. We're doing something that no one's ever, truly that no one's ever done before. What do you think? It's going to be exactly. We are making.

We're making a TV show, Nick and I right now. And if you're fans of this podcast or fans of come town, I think you're going to like what we have cooking. Okay. You go to patreon.com. Bigger picture than that. What's going to change?

What's going to change? Come town is done. This is going to change the course of humanity. It will. Quite literally. I'm hesitant to even call it a TV show because it's going to be more like an event. Like a historical event.

Yes, it will. Like the dropping of the atomic bomb, but a good thing. A good 9 11. Or a good holocaust. Imagine the exact opposite of 6 million Jews being liquidated.

Imagine 6 million Jews driving. How bad that feels, but the opposite side. We just got 6 million. We were like, we actually like this. Something people are excited about. If you got 6 million more Jews,

people would be like, okay. Imagine playstation 6 million is coming out. Right. We're skipping. We're skipping from 5 to 6 million. You don't have to wait anymore. And that's what the Adam Friedland shows. It's going to be like a where were you moment.

Where you're like, where was I? When Kennedy's brain was splattered all over the back of the limousine. But good. Imagine the bullet went through fucking Onassis's pussy and it got pussy juice all over everyone in Texas's dick.

And they're like, that feels so good that we're going to stop being racist right now. We're done with it. We're done with it. And then there's no civil rights. They willingly, the Klan, they take off, they turn the hats in. They go into the marching to the police station.

They hand over their hats and badges. They got a tear running down their face. And they're like, we just got the queen's pussy. So now we don't need to be racist anymore. We all got technically pussy from the president's wife. And you're saying that's what the new show is going to be? It's going to be PlayStation 6, Jackie O'Nass's pussy juice quality.

Yeah. That kind of vibe. And with Simon Pegg by the way. With Simon Pegg without a doubt. He's going to be on the show. Now Adam, you say that because that was the producer pitching it. Yeah, true. What the fuck's going on?

He gets the whole thing. That's the smorgasbord. You pick and choose, take what you want. That's how we got there. Just say PlayStation 6 million. And nobody needs to know the, you know, probably best. I hate the Holocaust.

I hate the Holocaust. If I was back then, I would have stopped that. I would have been one of the guys who stopped it. I would have been like those six million cowards that didn't resist. I definitely would have been over there doing radio. Trying to make things. Yeah, yeah, that's true.

I would have a big microwave satellite just aimed at the concentration camp. Being like, who's on first? The Chinese guy. You don't say. That's the best I can do for these folks. They have a good sense of humor. They'd be cracking up in there.

In the camps. Oh my God. Apparently there were legendary open mics. They were doing pits. They said that that's where Take My Wife came from. It was actually Auschwitz. He said it to a guard. Take my wife.

They were like, that's good. That's good. Oh, this guy. He's a natural entertainer. It's so funny. The Germans really, we got comedy and they got like a stable market economy. You know, they have their own.

You guys have a pretty good economy, dude. They had their own version of the office. Did you know that? They had their own versions of everything. They had their own married with children. But off the German, because you know, it's a German language, so it's like, you know, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

It's all the shots. And then it's like. Sorry. But that's how you have to say it in their language. It's got to be that volume and it has like some. If German Al Bundy. Which one was, yeah, German Al Bundy. Wasn't he kind of like conservative?

For sure. Conservative man. Definitely. If you did that in Germany, that'd be pretty brutal. Yeah. Like he wasn't kind of like a nationalist. He was like, I love this country. Drinking beers and shit.

I've never seen the German married with children. When the German married with children be a little bit like, hey. Yeah. It was a lot about cleansing the fatherland. Yeah. We should see when you get the German Simon Peg. We should get German Simon Peg on. Yeah.

He'll speak family and spin. Dude, that was the best shot of all time. Help my family is splint. What is it? Help my family is what? That's German Al Bundy. Is he cool? Yeah.

It's pretty good. Do you remember the shirts? No, ma'am. That was pretty funny. We should get some of those for the show. We should think about having a studio audience. We're ramping up to it. We get a shirt for the Adam Freeland show.

It says, yes, ma'am. There's a picture of Kamala with a no sign through her face. But then there's a bigger no sign that goes over that one. Yeah, so it cancels it out. Yeah, we're saying no. That's smart. German Al Bundy is called Jumpstrunk. Jumpstrunk?

Yeah, Jumpstrunk. Is his daughter a piece of ass still? Yeah, she's pretty hot. German Al Bundy's wife or daughter is hot as shit. Yeah, they only ran 26 episodes, I think. Translates to Hope. My family is crazy. That's funny.

You're pretty close there. Yeah. Guys, check out the show when it comes out. It's going to be good. Are you deciding to wrap up our podcast? Plug the Patreon form again, Adam. Patreon.com.com. We're spending all our own money.

You guys are going to invest in yourselves right after this. We're literally spending so much money on this. We've committed. We're hiring an entire staff and stuff. And for the first time, we're going to try in our careers. You guys are going to hire a staff? Yeah, we're going to get a writing staff. We're already got a DP.

Oh, shit. It's going to be good. It's going to be awesome. Are you guys going to get a studio audience or no? I don't know if we can do that really just because it's like... The size of the studio? It's not the size. It's the air conditioning.

It's going to get fucking hot. I want to go to Times Square and bark like tourists and just have them come in. The show will be funny if it's a... He's dressed in sweat out there. The room is already way hot but once you get those lights going,

it's going to be impossible. It's going to be really good. How do you feel about it? I'm stoked, dude. For the first time, I'm excited. We'll talk like it will probably suck. We can hire really happy and excited right now. Yeah, but it's so much fun to...

That's how we do it all the time. That's just your life. Come Time really became like a fucking burden the last couple years. I think we're doing something new and that's kind of put some wind in ourselves. You guys are like, eat, pray, love right now. Post-divorce going on.

That's knee-in level. Look, there's been a divorce. Now it's time to have fun. You guys are triangulated. Now you're just purely symbiotic. I'm going to go get my groove back in Jamaica. I'm going to meet a muscular... A muscular...

Tay Diggs style man. I'm going to be at that studio all the time. There's like a production office there. I'm going to be in there. They still live there. You guys are going to come check out the staff. We're stoked. With production designers tomorrow,

they're going to build out a fucking set. I don't want to spoil it. You shouldn't even have said that it was going to be like... That's it for the podcast. Thank you guys. Thanks for having us dogs.