Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 404 - Gut Busted

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch shanemgillis.com wutsgud. Another scorchin' hot ep NBD. Just the D.A.W.G.Z. in the NY headquarters. Shane's got a busted gut, tendie gut. Might have Pancreatitis, but through Christ and yogurt he'll prevail. God is good all the time. Please enjoy. Amen.    Support the show and get 20% off with the code DRENCHED at https://Lucy.co Support the show and get 15% off your first Raycon order at https://BuyRaycon.com/DRENCHED Visit https://www.Fitbod.me/DRENCHED to get 25% off your subscription of FitBod

All right. Oh, the superstar tells us he's saying now it's you guys go. You're more of an actor or a director. You're like an actor, director. You're a superstar now. Yes, you have changed. Have you not noticed the change? What's different? God, the jet lag. You're jet lag, dude. I am jet lag. You're completely jet lag, dude. I know you're a complete Rolling Stone, dude.

You little jet lag. You guys, you and the old comment and barking at the moon, dude. Running late night with the big dogs. You guys partying? Oh, yeah, a little bit. What'd you guys do? We drank, just drank at different locations. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, pretty much.

Comedy life. Speaking of comedy life and drinking in different locations. True. I've been undergoing hell, dude. I've been going through it and fucking blows on that. Sucks. You got to fight your belly is fucked up. My belly is gone, dude. No, so Thursday in San Francisco, I was at Cobbs. Joe Avery, I think his last name is Avery.

I'm I hope I'm not fucking that up. He's a great comedian. He he had the tendies in the green room. He had the chicken tendies on Thursday. He had the test batch and he said, geez, these things are fucking my stomach up and threw them out. That's what I know. Wait, he didn't finish the tennis.

He didn't even finish his tendies. He's like, these are these something's wrong. I'm not putting this on the club. It get but the next night, I was like, that might have been a bad batch. Either way, I'm getting tendies for sure. So how much are you looking forward to that? How long have you told me they made him sick?

I was like, that's good. It must be good. That's a good bet. Because Joe's relative. He looks like a normal, healthy guy. Yeah, I was like, he probably can't handle it. For sure. Can't handle the heat of the truth.

He had the tolerance. He didn't even build up the natural. He has many tendies every week. Yeah. So I ordered EOD on the tendies. I ordered them and I'm going to blame the tendies. But it's just because I'm trying to pretend it's not alcohol. Friday, I won't.

Friday, I got them a Saturday morning. I woke up, dude, my stomach was fucked up. It hurts so bad. It is funny. Yeah. The thing about that. Now that I think about it, I never know who drinks a ton is always like, I had a bad hat dog at the snoco.

It's like, no, you blacked out of the snoco. Yeah, it's not that there's always one food missile. It's like, oh, man, it must have been the chicken fingers. It's like, dude, that's you eat chicken fingers every week. Must be that batch of chicken fingers. I barely remember eating it before the morning. It's not sitting well with me right now. Not the alcohol consumption.

So I was destroyed. My stomach was fucked up. No good. And then it kept getting worse all week. And it was Thursday. That was Friday when it started. Or no, Friday I had them. It was Saturday, Sunday into yesterday.

That sucks. Today, so far, so good, but I just haven't eaten yet. Yeah. Well, anytime I eat coffee, if I eat like an hour later, my stomach just fucking kills. Really? Yeah. And it hurt. It feels like cramps almost. But it's it's like exactly where the pancreas is and stomach. They kind of overlap.

That was illuminating, too, though. That they overlap. No, that the fact that your stomach is like underneath your stomach. I could have thought it was like your belly directly. Yeah, I thought my belly housed my stomach. It's like above a little to the left and above your belly. It blew me away. So I got I had to I had to go to the doctor, dude, finally.

Yeah, it was time. And this first time I've been to the doctor and I don't go to the doctor. Yeah, yeah. I haven't had health insurance. Turns out I have it. You have it. You've had it this whole time. I think they might have just got it to me. True. But I've been asking them, I've been like, tell my manager,

like, can I get health? Can somebody that owns my money get me health? You're basically a dreamer. What do you mean? You're a dreamer. What do you mean? Like the DACA bill for dreamers. You're like, please.

Somebody get me some fucking health insurance. Trying to become a citizen at this point, too. So I go to the I was thinking about going to the hospital. Yeah. And that I was that go to the fucking ER for an upset tummy. Yeah. But what I was thinking is, you know, international flight coming up. So like flying somewhere else with like vague health issues is not the well, hopefully that's hopefully it's done. I think it is. Yeah. If I'm much now, you'll see.

Really? Dude, it's fucking cripples me. I mean, like it feels like cramps in your stomach. That sucks. It hurts so fucking bad. Anyway, something's inflamed. I go to the. Yeah, I think that's that's it. Turns out that's all it is. Yeah. I got blood tests done and well, it was funny because he did. The nurse came in and was to ask me questions and then went and got a doctor

and the doctor came in immediately and was like, how much are you drinking? He knew exactly what it was. I didn't even include the attendees in the fucking report. I was like, I was like, how many days? I was like, four, four days a week. He was like, what do you have? Like three, they always say that bullshit. Like what do you have? Like three drinks? Like, no, dude.

Yeah, no one has three fucking drinks, four days a week. If you drink in four days a week, you're not drinking three drinks. They tell you on every commercial, please enjoy response. You're like a mom. Dude, course light or bad light will be furious to know that you're not enjoying the products responsibly. Like they're asking. Yeah, I know. Actually, yeah, people are like, how come he's not sponsored?

It's because I drink 20 beers every time I'm on camera. They can't they can't be like, nice. They literally can't be like, this is good. Yeah, true. Um, what are you doing over there? Checking the shot, putting your spectacles on. Checking the shot. But he's the doctor comes in, he's like, how many are you drinking?

I was like about, I don't know, like 10, 10. He's like, so you're having 40 drinks a week. I was like, yeah, if you're going to be a dick about it. Well, they come in, you get big. Well, sometimes they come in bigger cans, so more like 35, 30. True. Sometimes it's a pitcher. I use I use fill math. I'm like, I had two drinks.

Yeah, it's a picture of two pictures. He was nice, though. He was he was courteous. He was like, I don't mean this. He was like trying to like, he was like trigger warning. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. Shame you are drinking excessively. He's like, I'm not judging you for that.

But yeah, just by the sheer liquid volume, I'd say it's a lot. So then but it was funny, too. I was hitting him with the fuck. But yeah, it's like, it's just light beers. It's not he's still like, no, that's still. I was like, it's not like I'm chugging liquor, you know? He was like, no, I have no idea what you're doing. That's so fucking funny.

So he's he diagnosis, pancreatitis immediately. Did he really? Yeah, he was like, if it hurts there and you drink excessively, that's. Yeah, the pancreas produces insulin, right? Oh, yeah, he gave me the whole pressure test. It fucking kill you, but then he pressed the bottom of my like abdomen and I was like, it all hurt. My stomach was fucked.

You might have gastritis. Panker, the pancreas produces insulin, right? Yeah, I believe that was another thing. I was like, fuck, I finally got fucking diabetes. I knew that was coming. There was a moment where they left the room and I was just sitting in the doctor's office. And I was like, I mean, I knew it was coming.

I knew this day was coming. If it's party time all the time, eventually you're going to be sitting on a paper fucking that disgusting, crinkly paper. I was just thinking about it alone with the fucking lighting. Just like, yeah, I knew it was coming one day. Yeah, that's the life with this. True. I knew it was coming.

First off, that day is coming for everybody. You can either have a good time before it happens or you can be fucking bitch your whole life. Yeah. And then just get cancer for no reason. You get bitch cancer, get fucking girl, get lung cancer. You never even smoked pussy. I knew I shouldn't have lived in a metropolitan area. Yeah, no, you can't you can't get, you know,

I try to honor my my bodysuit, my earth suit. But I understand you also can't get too attached. You're right. I understand. I've been I've been trying. I've been too attached when I was younger. You can get fucked up from trying to be too healthy. It'll genuinely fuck you up like, wait, should I have this? Am I allergic to nightshades?

And it's like, no, you're just being anxious about food. Yeah, you have to you have to let go of the earth suit eventually. So then we run run a blood test. I get results, turns out first off, blood pressure again. Great. That's awesome. I can't believe it keeps happening. That's awesome. Then we get this. I get the blood results.

Everything's good. Literally, everything's good. That's awesome. I've been dreading going to the doctor for so long. I was like, I definitely have diabetes. My liver is definitely failing. My heart's exploding right now. For sure. My heart's exploding.

No, all good. What are they? What were the panels for the blood? Did they go like, obviously, they probably did blood. I couldn't I couldn't understand them. I had to look all of them up. Yeah, it was everything. You don't have the BDs. Don't have diabetes. Don't have pancreatitis.

Just have he was probably like your stomachs probably just inflamed. Yeah, you had a military grade stomachache. Yeah, top of the line. Heavy duty stomach. Fucking the worst stomachache possible. And that got me thinking like, dude, does it have like stomach cancer?

Oh, it's fucked. You got to ride that out just till you die. Just your stomach hurts till you die. Yeah, dude. I knew a guy who was an operator. He used to operate on machinery and he was telling me he hasn't had a like a non-liquid shit, a solid shit for a decade.

This dude's just been diarrhea for 10 years. 10 years, dude. 10 years. I'm not on the 10 year trip, but I'm definitely on the fucking 50-50. It's 50-50? Yeah. What? I mean, dude, hungover fucking blowouts.

But that's four days a week, dude. Yeah. No, I'm not hungover four days a week. Come on, man. For sure. I didn't say you were. What the fuck, dude? I don't have a problem.

Why would you say that? This guy, I've ever blew my mind. He's like, never took a solid shit in about 14 years. I believe it. There's no way my dad's taking a solid shit. I see the turrets. Have you smelled his dumps? I haven't smelled a dump, but I've seen the aftermath.

If you go to my parents' house, if you go up to my parents' bathroom, Jackson Paul is on the back. It's a rest stop mosaic. It's a rest stop mosaic, dude. He sprays the turlet. He hits the spray every time. You can hear it, dude.

Every time Phil shits, it starts with like a Pfft. It's funny. You can just yell. You'd be like, hey, he's like, shut up. Oh, my God. Yeah. Tommy hits those, too.

Does he really? Tommy Pope hits the fucking hard dumps. Like, yeah, I'd be out there gaming and he'd wake up. I could hear the crud hit really loud. He hits dad shits. Dude, I've been hitting. I don't know. And I've had like weird dumps for a long time.

Yeah. I've been finally reliably hitting like loaves, like almost barely having to wipe loaves. However, I've been having health issues. Loaves are so good. Pinching like one, two wipe loaves. It's crazy. It's insane.

It's like, oh, bro, hold on. I got one that's speaking of loaves. So day two, the stomach's destroyed. So I get some Pepto Bismol. By the way, I went to this fucking grocery store in San Francisco. Everything's locked. Really?

Behind glass with metal, like fucking padlocks on every door. Yeah. I go in. You got to wait like 20 minutes. You press a button to see if anybody else will come unlock it for you. This dude, I go up to the front. Well, then someone who doesn't believe in having to work.

Yeah. For real? No, it's exactly who it was. I walked up to the front and I was like, excuse me, does somebody have a key? Yeah. And I'm not, you know, this is just pertinent to the story. It was just clearly a woman from China.

Yeah. And I was like, does anyone have a key? And she had no fucking idea what I was saying. And I asked some other guy. And it was this black dude that was just like, I don't have it. Yeah. And I was like, OK. Could you find someone that has the key to,

I'm just trying to get some fucking Pepto, but my stomach's cramping at this point. Yeah, can I please just get this stuff? And when you're sick and it hurts. Oh, dude. Dude, it's funny. Every time I'm like, I could use a good flu. That'd be nice to just lay down for a week and do nothing.

No, it sucks. You hate everything the whole time. Yeah, do you? You think it'd be fun to play Fallout 4 for a week? It's not. You hate Fallout 4 because you're sick. It stinks. You got some downtime.

Finally, I got the Bismol. Wait, how'd you get it? Who came and got it? Eventually, literally 20 minutes of standing in front of a shelf looking at Pepto Bismol. Finally, someone walked over and unlocked it. Was it who got it? It was the dude.

OK. He went and got the key eventually. A lot of times, the rescue hatch in those situations is like a 50-year-old looks like she's been dragged by a truck white lady. The bitch fell off. And she landed in a fucking safe way. With multiple elbow braces on.

Just like, oh, no, I got you on. It's got to copper shit. Yeah. Yeah, the bowling gloves. She, yeah, just jammed. The lady that's bent through the ring. She just smells like cigarettes from 50 feet away. Hold on, hold on, guys.

What do you need, Pepto? Is he Pepto? Pepto, I love this stuff. We got a lot of this in the bank. So I get the Pepto, chug it, wake up the next morning, take a fully black dump. Loafs, though. It was weird.

You saw the black hand. I saw the black hand. We got Archduke France, right? We did it. Took a fucking black hand. Then I get in the shower. I'm like, that's fucking insane. My stomach must be gushing blood.

If my shit's black, that's a problem. So I was like, fuck, I'm dying. Then I get in the shower. And while I was in the shower, I spit. I like, hawk the loogie. It was in the morning. The loogie was black. And I was like, what the fuck is this?

Dude, I get out of the shower, look in the mirror. The back of my tongue is black. What? There's hell. From what? So then I'm fully panicking. I start googling shit and not poop and tongue. And then it autocorrected and completed on Google.

Turns out if you just occasionally when you drink Pepto-O-Bismol, that happens. And it doesn't, it means nothing. It's just something that reacts differently with your body. I mean, that's like a curse. Totally harmless. That's a curse. But then it was like, it can last for like two weeks.

I was like, ew. What? But it didn't. It's gone now. I'm taking regular classic crabs. You had kiss tongue? Yeah. You were rocking all day.

Detroit Rock City in there. It was a sad dude. Really? And then. And you're doing shows like, hey, guys, nice to meet you in San Francisco. Yeah, I was like. Life's pretty brief.

It's like, I'm stalling cancer, everybody. And then, yeah, most of the crowds in San Francisco, they were loud, bro. Really? The boys were drinking. I don't like that. Yeah. They're screaming.

But the one show, they were so hammered and enthusiastic. I was angriest I've been on stage in so long, dude. I did like 42 minutes. Really? I was like, that's it. The show's run its course. And they were, everyone's confused. I got a standing ovation.

They were just hammered and having fun. So like, I would finish a sentence and they'd be like. Yeah. And other people were hammered. So they'd start yelling and start, dude, I got applause breaks in the middle of the set for no jokes. Really? Just talking.

People would be like, yeah. I was like, God, damn it. You guys aren't appreciating my art. You're going to let the bros have fun. I did. They had fun. You got to get them all Santa every now and again. It's fucking like, whew.

It's true. Get one of that. You guys are enjoying this. Oh, you're like, I want to hang out with you and have a beer. I'm like, all right, great. Next. Full mall Santa. Uh, I like that, too.

Yeah. I'm glad you guys are joining us. Thank you very much. Dude, the one show as soon as I got on stage, a lady went, say something funny just instantly. I was like, I'm done. Yeah, that's not funny. Didn't even say a word before I even spoke.

Yeah. What does that mean? But now if I eat my stomach hurts, girlfriend. Yeah, there's a lot of bad girlfriends. Yeah. That sucks. That does stink when people are too rowdy.

If your girlfriend yells at a show and you don't grip the fuck out of the back of her arm. Yeah. What are you doing? That's on you. If my woman screams at a show. Yeah. That's the first thing a woman does before she cheats on you.

It'd be like a father in church. Back of the neck fucking squeeze, dude. Yeah, dude. The squeeze. I mean, dude, as soon as a woman yells on a comedy show, her next step is to like, I got to go to the bathroom and text her ex-boyfriend. Yeah.

True. Instantly, she goes back and she's like, what's going on? It's a man in bon shit. Fucking piece of shit. Don't me. Fuck yeah. Here's one of my nudes.

Disgusting. So, yes, I've been dealing with that, dude. Now, so far today, so far today, my stomach's good. Yeah. Which is, that's nice. You're in the clear. I'm in the clear right now, but. What's on the menu for today?

What's on the menu? I don't know. Last night was just yogurt. Nice. Soft, dude. I'm fucked. Just imagine you eating an Activia. It's so funny.

Eating an Activia and then putting it down and being like. You also got to, you might have to switch to CNN, dude. Fox News are getting too fired, bro. I'm not being a jerk. I'm saying you got to just take it easy for a couple days. You have to just watch Wolf Blitzer. You're saying because I have tummy problems of a CNN guy now?

You're telling me I got a monkeypox, dude? I just didn't take it easy for a couple days. You got to watch it and just be like, oh. I guess every time you come in here, Fox News is on. That's not me. Dude, they're talking about the price of gold going up. That'll get your stomach fucked up. I need to get some gold now.

I need gold. Fuck. You need gold. You're going to need gold. We do need gold. I got 42. What do you think that is? Joe Biden is like, oh, shit, I'm like.

Do you think that thing's fake? I'm hiding all my gold in plain sight. Dude, me and Noah watched a crazy video on the way up here. What'd you watch? It was like a biblical prophecy. So this guy named. Dude, it's called Watch What Happens Next by Leo Dunson. His last name.

What's his last name? Dude, he's a black conservative. He's gone the way of like almost like apocalyptic or apocalyptic like Bible preaching. It's so fucking funny, dude. But he was basically saying how he bought out. Like he took out this like really he was just talking about like what's coming after like is Biden going for a second term.

And the whole thing ends with him being like. And then second Corinthians, they come out and say after the blah, blah, blah, there'll be the second Trump. And he goes, clearly, they're talking about Trump's second presidency. And it dude, it's fucking wild. Nice. It's pretty tight. And he's just him in a suit with like lightning Trump background. So it's the funniest fucking thing you'll ever say.

It's like 38 is pro-Trump. Yes, very. And he's like, he's basically saying that in second Corinthians, we're predicting the come of Trump's second term. He has a second tribulation. The second tribulation is three and a half years. Yeah. Oh, do you think he's going to die? No. And he's only he's only he's only doing one term.

And then Donald Trump's coming back, said the great tribulation is much worse than the second half. And it all came into like the 400 years of there. Like and also like we are we're like you're saying black people are doing like a 400 year cycle they're just getting out of right now with like the coming of Trump's second term pretty tight. He had all the numbers backed up when the black people don't they're just going through the 400 years, dude, it was they said something about that in the Bible.

The people will be a people will be. Yeah, I know that to an alien nation for 400 years. But afterwards, they said they'll become like is something like golden or judge after 400 years. And then it'll be seven years of tribulations. Yes, which is that's where that's where we're going. And God's going to come down to judge the black people. No, no, no.

He's going to come down and be like, what the fuck? Where you guys do it? He's going to come down and be like, no. I'd be sick of Jesus. No, no. God came down and was like, why people are so sick? Turns out you can be gay. But he's like, what the fuck, dude?

Yeah, what is this? Yeah, no, but he the video is very fun to watch. That's exciting. But yeah, what I'm saying is what I was trying to say is the Fox News is too electrifying, dude. You got to just present yourself to some boring fucking pussy talk. Dude, I don't get fired up. I don't watch it.

I put that on for the lady. I let her that eases her mind. Oh, true. You got to she hears daddy's talking, dude. Women need to hear that. They need to hear Fox News. That's their daddy's. True.

They need to hear dad talk and be like, what the fuck's going on down there? And they're like, it feels like I'm home. True. It is. I'm telling you, man, there is something about Fox News in the background that like kind of puts me at ease. Yeah, it's in my house. It was always playing. And if I walk into a place that just blaring like some guy,

it'd be like, another thing about the spelling error on the White House dot go website is just you're like, nice. Nice to just hear hot ladies being like, is that what you want? Do you want this government? I don't. Yeah, it is really nice. It is funny, though, because I was watching it and I saw the they have that one like tall skinny black lady.

Yeah, she's always on. And it's like you like everyone about her, dude. Well, sometimes I'm like, I don't like, I don't think she's attractive. And then sometimes she shows up, fires you up. She gets me going a little bit. Well, dude, what happened? We'll be watching the five and I'll say, babe, why don't you top me off when we're watching outnumbered?

Sometimes I get hit. I mean, dude, that's could there be anything better than that? And then like, as you're getting hit, it's like the gold coin commercial. I'm like, yo, let me get five hundred gold coins. And I need that whatever that fruit thing is they sell. I'm not getting enough fruits and vitamins. Give me the powder. I need the powder for your produce.

Give me fruit powder, gold coins. And also they have they sell brain supplements now. That gets what? Five times better than ordinary. They have a bottle that says ordinary brain supplements. Five times better, dude, for your brain. So they measured the output of people's brains. Also, my pillow, you need pillows and slippers.

The new pad did four layers for sure. If you're not getting. Hi, I'm Mike Lindell. Cancel culture is trying to take me out, but we won't let it. He's got a picture of Jesus and a lion behind him. And he's where's his cross out? That's tight. He's a man. What is funny to think about the black anchors from Fox News?

And it's like, I don't want to take their agency away from them. But I was struck with the vision of that lady like going off. She had like a great when they're reading the teleprompter in my head. I'm always like, there's like a crazy. I'd want to I'd love to know what their actual thoughts are. And it's like, you think about kids getting clowned in the recess yard and then just fucking raining down upon all their bullies from a Fox News anchor position.

Yes. Pick another thing. It actually turns out that black children aren't being shot more than white children by cops. And it's like, we shouldn't have fucked this lady. We shouldn't have bullied her when we called her a dork and pushed her. Like, oh, bitch ass. Dorky ass bitch.

Now here she is, dude, literally destroying her race. Just to know that's a nasty thing to say. That's nasty. I don't think it was a nasty thought, but it's not destroying how many. But but they're not. It's it's a joke. But well, that's what the Libs would say. That's what the Libs would say that.

That's why I said it. I like to say Libs things too now. That's what the Libs would say. But she she's what? Statistics can't argue with that. Sorry, Libs. But yeah, the I was I also I like the Fox News brings on black people to just be like, they're saying I know.

Well, dude, we listen to the Glenn show on the way up by the dude. He's fucking absolute man. But him and John McWhorter were talking about Herschel Walker. And you're saying it. Her walkers out there saying it. Well, did you? So John McWhorter wrote an article in the I think he writes one New York Times, he wrote an article basically being like this.

Herschel Walker is an absolute moron who's being just used as a puppet by the Republicans. So Glenn obviously pushed him because Glenn wants all the answers. He's like, well, you know, what are you basing this off of, dude? He was like, well, he has a whole thing about how America has the good, clean air and how the air drifts over to China. They have the polluted air and there's not enough room for it. And then we get their air pushes back.

He's like, he's an idiot, Glenn. Yeah. Doesn't it turns out that that might be true a little? I don't know. Probably. But he's they're hating on Walker, but it's reminding me. Herschel might be on to something. I haven't I got to watch when it comes to, like, if you really if you got to give him the same credit you give Trump where it's like, I know what he means.

He's saying it like a dumbass, but he I think I know what he means. Yeah, yeah. Maybe Herschel's saying, like, we're working. We're shutting down our own industry to try to help with fucking the environment and climate change. Meanwhile, China is just pumping out shit, pumping out credit on the same planet. So what the fuck difference does it make? True. Maybe that's what he's. I don't know. Dude, that's what they're trying. That's what Glenn was pushing, but he's like, it can't be that simple.

He has to have. Yeah. He's an avatar for something. What's he tapping into? But then McWhorter hit him with just an icy sword to the heart. Dude, what do you say? McWhorter was like, yeah, he is championing the cause of black fathers leaving their children. And then he was like, but it turns out he has like three children.

He kind of ignored of his own. And Glenn just went, damn, damn. I mean, it's Herschel Walker, dude. He didn't tell anybody about the kids, not even anybody on his own. Although, what if he's drawn from his own experience? And he's like, yeah, man, that was fucked up. That was a fucked up thing that like no one was like, yo, dude, what the fuck are you doing?

This is terrible. So again, I just pulled the icy sword out of fucking Herschel Walker's heart, dude, that John McWhorter just carelessly stabbed into there. Just watch Herschel Walker highlights. Nasty as fuck. And just be like, shut up, you fucking journalist. Shut the fuck up, dude. It was it was funny.

It was funny listening to their going back and they're going back and forth on Clarence Thomas. Yeah. Dude, me and Glenn are disgusted, by the way. People have treated treating Clarence Thomas, dude. Disgusted. It is bullshit a little. It's crazy. Yeah. I mean, dude, I mean, apart from his, what was the big word he used for judicial beliefs? He was judicial.

I used a word. He was like, I mean, I separate myself from his judicial but go over them beliefs. It was a tight word. I tried to remember it, but I failed. My pea brain fucking failed. But yeah, he was he was saying it's disgusting. The way people are treating them.

Yeah, it's one of those things the left doesn't have a problem. Like they'll body shame someone that's conservative. They also have no problem being racist against any black conservative. Crazy. They'll just be outwardly racist. Yeah, dude. Just white dudes will be like, yeah, that fucking Uncle Tom. Yeah, that's what they're talking about, bro. Yeah, dude, saying he was in the house.

They were talking exactly how what you had these white liberal dudes power phrasing or just like retweeting like HNs, dude. And I'm not talking about home network. They were just like they were like just retweeting. They were just retweeting and Glenn was like, bro, I thought you're not allowed to use that word in any context whatsoever. This coffee is going down nice. Good. The stomach might be gone.

You might have you might have got it. Yes. Maybe I bought it. Guess what? I hate to. I hate to. I'm sure it heal him. So they're a good time. Exactly. You're going to be you're going to be sipping a beer like never before. I will. I will be I'll be I'll be taking it.

These will be bird sips. Yeah, back to it. We got to take these in the belly. But then we got Australia coming up. So true. I mean, dude, get on the weed train. Take like two months, dude, lose your mind. First of all, I'm not going to lose your mind in Australia. Just true. I'm going to have some bruise.

But if it's an inflammation thing, the weed is an anti-inflammatory agent. Really? So you might here's what you might have to do. Hit the edible and then try to drink it off. That way it's you're the only way I can. You're in the line of you and Yang. I just did that like a couple of months ago. The only way I can outranking edible is to for real get shitfaced.

I drank like three bottles of wine to escape that you. You have to get the dude. I'm telling you, there's levels of weed eating weed edibles. I think I got to level 10 million. I'm fucked up. You got to get to the next level. You can get it's within you to get to the next level. I mean, I could do it. I could eat 100 and just die.

Not die. I just lay there. Not die. Just fully. Dude, I'm telling you, I hit and I totally understood. I have I have like I'm a lightweight with weed edibles. They hit me and fuck, dude, I got fucked up on Sunday to the point where we were chatting. Yeah, dude, I dude, I was sitting there. I thought nothing of it.

Hit a little tank and I'm like, I'll be chill or whatever. I was sitting there with Brittany and I was just like, you know, like you don't realize it's hitting you yet, dude. I'm sitting there and you have a thought. One thought and you're like, oh, shit, I'm high. Usually I can catch them and go fuck them high. I was sitting there with Brittany and I'm like, dude, like if you think about it, I'm like, you can.

Like if you have a thought it that thought moves physical matter in your body. Like the thoughts of non-physical thing triggers like different neurotransmitters and you've got that a little. I think a thought is something physical happening first. And you interpret it as a thought. True. Actually, that is very true. Yeah, there's the thoughts are actually physical matter themselves. Yes.

But what about words? What about words on a page? Of course, that's physical. What are words on a page? That's literally it's physical. Fuck, dude. On paper. So every single thought you have is not non. So it's not non-physical.

I thought it's not physical. I mean, that's where you want to be. That's where people become gay and they're like, love is actual chemical release in your brain. I thought you're calling me gay. That's why I had a big Clarence Thomas belly laugh. Clarence Thomas laughs from his belly. Southern. Don't talk about bellies right now.

This is true. Out there. Yeah, dude, the. So this is this is my line of thinking and I appreciate your perspective. You're you actually your perspective mirror is I think Krishna Murthy. You and Krishna Murthy on the same page. Oh, that's good to know me and Krishna Murthy. Who?

So I'm sitting there. I'm like, you know, I'm in a seat, right? I might not have been pilot of you. I'm in some type of seat and we may have not been moving. Maybe I was at my home, maybe I was flying in a car. Definitely not. But so I'm sitting there in two stationary seats. I'm like, dude, if you think about it, thoughts are non-physical

and they actually set off. They like move the matter in your brain. Yeah, like just the simple moving the words to your brain. But you're saying that's a physical thing. I would imagine of even moving physical words to your brain. You're using some form of minerals. So maybe. So like, let's say they're floating in the water in your brain. They probably were floating in the water in your brain.

True. We're all water brains. They've maybe an idea is triggered by a chemical. Like you're like, oh, I got to go cut the lawn. Yeah, there's something in your brain. Like go do something. Yeah, it releases something. Something catches it and is like, go, I got to go cut the lawn. You know, that's that's the idea. It's an equally terrifying thought.

Yeah, we're just instinct instinctually like we need to improve. We need to do something. Yeah, you know, dude, well, like I got to come up with a scheme that's just your brain being like, go. Well, you're sitting there and all of a sudden your brain's like, loser. And you're like, I got to do something. What are you guys? What are you doing? Mike, please.

Some lady got fired from the U Pen. Why not? Oh, I was showing him the lady. There's nothing to do with what we're talking about. A lady got fired from U Pen and you show her the picture. Shut that stuff down. That's on you to shut that down ever since you've been hitting the road, dude. You and pretend there's a big glass wall here to red on air sign, dude. I'm sorry. That's on you.

Posting cool pictures. Is he doing cool pictures? Him and her car is Instagram. Well, I was sick. Like Vista. Did they do any kind of Vista on the road? Road life. But that was that was a thought that told me I had tipped the scales, dude.

I was like, I was sitting there sitting in stationery and I was telling I was like, dude, we can actually move matter. I figured it out. We can move matter. With thoughts. And she was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, oh, God, oh, shit. Fuck, just truck headlights. It was Star Wars hyperspace, dude.

The stars turning straight lines. And I was like, fuck me, fuck, fuck, dude. It was but I got home. You can't do that. I can't. You can't be doing that. Was your whole family in the car? No, of course not. Oh, Jesus.

So I had, don't worry, Phil, Phil used to do that kind of. I told you, when we went to Notre Dame, Phil would probably get close to blacked out and then put fucking 10 eighth graders and seventh graders in a huge van. Yeah, drive around on a trip. That was the same thing. It was just not. It was all the dads were blacked out.

Yeah. And then like, the kids would fight each other. It's crazy. The dads have zero qualms about the U.S. About driving under the influence. So I'll drive. I'm going to drive. They were allowed to do it. You'd be like, just get an Uber.

Just it's not a big deal. I'm not leaving my car here, Shane. No, that'd be weird for that. I mean, for that guy. It is kind of effeminate to leave your car. Dude, imagine you're 70, not 70, 60, whatever, and just some like fucking art school dude with a nose ring comes and picks you up in your driveway.

That's that's like a fucking like freak out for a 65 year old. Yeah, that makes sense. Like, is this guy going to try to fuck me? What the fuck's going on? Why else would you get in someone's car? Exactly. You know, you're getting driven somewhere. They it's like they're they're like,

is this gay thing is so oppressive that when you see old dudes getting an Uber for the first time, it's pretty fun, though. So funny when they discover what it is. They're like, so you just pick us up and you do this all night. How about that? It's so funny. They see the phone. Over the dads have to sit in the back.

Now it's gay time. Yeah, true. Now that's gay. You have to sit in the back while a dude drives you around. You gotta sit up front. It is funny to be chauffeur to the give directions. True. Yeah. Being the back chauffeur to the Elks just fucking.

It's like a seven minute. Paparazzi is out waiting for it. You get out so the driver comes around, opens the door. Is there a service where you can hire like fake? I think I've said this before, is there a service where you can fake or hire fake paparazzi to like come up and like snap you? You're like, come on, come on, guys.

You're like, I'm a famous YouTuber. They like call the slips called paparazzi. Yeah, they'll be like, hey, we're going to be at this restaurant. Yeah, but you could hire like seven photographers and go to the mall and it's having them be like and then hire two other guys to go to like one hot chick and like that guy's a famous YouTuber. And they'd probably do that on YouTube a lot.

They'd probably. That's a little prank. Yeah, and it works. People are like, oh, my God. Yeah, people sometimes it sparks like a panic of people like screaming and taking pictures. Maybe we truly are stupid, instinctual creatures. I think we are.

I think everything's instinctual. You're just like, that guy has all the bananas, which kind of which makes me sad because then there is no such thing as free will. If everything's instinctual, everything happened exactly how it was always going to happen just about. Yeah, we're always going to instinctively respond

to just about every confrontation we've ever had the same way. Yeah, but but you can train the will. You can train. You absolutely can train. That's instinct to train your will. Yeah, therefore you are always going to. But it is a choice to train or not train the will. Yeah, but like I was saying earlier,

there's something triggers you in there to be like, all right, I got to stop doing this. Divine inspiration. Hopefully. I think that's one thing that I mean, look, there's no difference between science and religion. True. You know, that could be the Holy Spirit.

You're playing devil's act. We are McWarder and Lowry, dude. Speaking of that, I watched that fucking DaVinci Code bullshit on the plane. You couldn't be more wrong. DaVinci Code, you're talking about angels and demons. It's the same. It's the sequel.

That shit sucked dick so bad. I was so mad the whole time. By the way, I get like I remember when I was a kid and DaVinci Code came out and they like the Catholic school was like, don't go see that. Don't watch that shit. That's bullshit. Yeah, they were right, dude.

It is bullshit. I looked up all these. So the whole time Tom Hanks just says facts for no reason. Yeah, yeah. Like him and this girl. You talking angels and demons? Angels and demons. OK.

Same thing, though. Sure. It's the same guy. He's still got that long, like parted down the middle hair that looks fucking horrific. Tom, we need you to look more gay than you actually do. The movie opens with Tom Hanks swimming at whatever university he works at.

And was he shredded in it or was he working? He was actually shredded as fuck, dude. I knew it, dude. Hanks looked good. Then this guy that works for the Pope or one of the Vatican is walking in, you know, it's one of those classic scenes the guy's swimming. Somebody walks in with like a briefcase and a fucking suit

and is like, mister or something, we need to talk to you. But Tom Hanks like puts his arms up on the side of the pool and he's like, I've been submitting things to you guys. I was wondering when you would show up. And he's like, how do you know who I am? And he's like, Vatican. And he's like, how do you know this? The symbol on your briefcase, it's the keys.

That's the papal symbol. It's the same as fucking DaVinci code. He literally goes, it's the papal symbol. He's saying it to a fucking guy that works at the Vatican. Dude, I know what the symbol is. Why would you ever include that in the fucking dialogue other than for retards watching it to be like, whoa. How do you know that?

How do you know the papal symbol? The keys. It's like, yeah, dude, everybody knows that. Yeah, yeah. Throughout the whole movie, he's like, but DaVinci, he didn't design this. The Sistine Chapel's actually designed it. It's over here.

Oh, I'm so stupid. I should have known this. But then he keeps talking about the whole thing's based around. So he does say actual facts throughout. Yeah. And then the mixed in are just totally made up facts. Really?

Yeah, at one point he's like, the Illuminati. It's an ancient order of scientists that are coming back because of La Perga. You remember the Perga? And the Catholics are like, we try to forget the Perga. The Perga of 1688, which is where the Catholic Church went around branding and torturing scientists.

Never happened. Never happened? This fucking pussy, whatever the author's name is, Brown. Yeah, yeah. He made it up by like the purge him, dude. Fuck that guy. How dare you be smirking a religion like this? Wait, but they did.

Giordano Bruno got like killed any, the guy who came out and said the universe is infinite. They fucking killed the rest. I looked into all that. It turns out I don't think the Catholic Church ever executed a scientist for facts. Yeah, it was just for going against the religious stuff. Like even Galileo, like the heresy of the heliocentrism.

Yeah. That's not really the case. They didn't beat his ass. They were like, I think for like eight years they would not publish his book or something. All right, fair enough. And then they were like, all right, yeah, that seems legit and published it.

Yeah, they didn't. The purge was, I think, at the forefront of most science, modern science. Yeah, probably. Makes sense. The gay libs, the left, dude, the Marxists, try to tell us religion and science can't coexist. It's dude, I hate it.

Meanwhile, religion is science, dude. Science is religion. Heard that. Breakdown of the DNA. That's God, dude. Heard that. That's a code from heaven. Heard that.

Telling us to keep pushing. Dude, there's a book called, I think called the Cosmic Serpent. Cosmic Serpent by Jeremy Narby. They talk all about this, dude. Really? It's pretty tight. Dude, it's nice not to read any of this shit.

I just know it. Yeah, you do, literally. You just gave the guys whole thesis about how they would take ayahuasca and see these visions of intertwined helixes and they're like, yeah, it's DNA, bro. That is what it is. That's your DNA talking to you.

It's being like, yeah, bro. This is what life really is. Just floating helixes, flying around, constructing realities. Pretty tight. So yeah, you and Jeremy Narby on the same page. You, Jeremy Narby on the same page. Christian Murty.

Christian Murty. Christian Murty. Enlightenment's purely physical, dude. He's, this guy claims that he stopped thinking altogether. He's like, I just never, I just stopped answering questions in my own brain. Yeah.

And since thinking's a purely physical process, the whole structure just breaks down and all your thoughts just implode. And you just become like a newborn baby but an adult body and you're just walking around just like, dudes are interviewing him and they're like, well, how do you like, how do you like talk about it?

He's like, I just literally report on what I'm seeing. That's all I do. Get a girlfriend who he remembers every time she walks in. He's just like, there she is. He goes, I forget her as soon as she leaves the room. Pretty tight. I'm on that. Pretty tight.

You might be enlightened. Every once in a while. Yeah, never mind. It's a natural state. Every once in a while I'll be like, oh yeah. I forgot about that person. That happens. Yeah.

That happens. Yeah, but then it'll be like someone significant and I'll have this weird feeling of like, oh yeah. It'd be like a significant other. Yeah. That'll happen. You might be in the natural, you're in the natural state.

Don't let anyone shame you out of it. That's the natural state. I will not. You're just kind of like, you're just doing your thing and you're in the natural state. You're like, oh yes, this person. You're just, you're living moment to moment. Thank you.

That's great. I ran into Steve from Love on the Spectrum. By the way, let me tell you something. He's not faking. Oh dude, I didn't say you faked. No, I know. But some people were out there. Any time people watch Love on the Spectrum they're like,

I think that guy might be faking. Let me tell you something. No, he's not. He's not. I ran into him and he was sitting outside of a coffee shop. I was walking in gay San Francisco. Yeah. And in my head I was like,

I'm creating another fucking gay dude. No, I said that like butterly. Gay dude out here. It was Steve, I asked for a photo. Yeah, that's awesome. And I got it and he was like, oh, all right. Did he? Yeah, that's exactly how he talks.

Me and him said goodbye to each other like six different times. That's awesome. Turns out I might be a little, I'm Spectrum up too. That's what he did. We started chatting back and forth and I couldn't get away from saying goodbye. That's on his date, he did that.

Yeah. He basically is lady one of the second date and he goes, hmm, I'll have to get back to you on that. Yes, goodbye. Farewell. Okay, goodbye. Then it was the dude's a master. He was like, have a nice day.

I was like, you have a nice day, Steve. And he was like, have a nice weekend. It's the weekend now. I was like, God damn, you're the best ever. Dude, that guy rules. He was exactly who he was in the show. He's a sweetheart. On utter sweetheart, dude.

I hope somebody has sucked him. They better? Somebody, everybody loves that guy. Well, he's pretty paper too. The dude lives, I saw his apartment in the thing. He's looking at apartment, living assistant. He's like. He's papered.

Papered up. I wonder if he gives a, I don't know. I don't want to put any, I don't want to assume how he feels about anything, but maybe he doesn't give a fuck about getting ahead. Oh yeah, he does. You think? Yeah, from what I watched of.

It seems, he seemed pretty sad. They talk about loneliness, like I guess if they feel it pretty acutely. Yeah. They're just like, yeah, I just, I think about that stuff. But isn't that something that comes with autism where you lack personal connection and kind of don't care?

No, I think you have to be like, it's all, I think it's like in degrees. Yeah, of course. So maybe less, but I think they do. It is a spectrum. Yeah, so there's, you could be like way up on there where you're just, just a pure eight archangels and demons dude, where it's just fucking like.

How did I not put this together already? I'm so stupid. The temple of light, it points this way. Wow. You probably can get to like angel or demon level where you're just pure angel or pure deem. But I think most times they're just kind of like, just deeply frustrated by being like,

I cannot connect with humans. And this I'm, because you get lonely on it like an animal level. It says that people with autism experience loneliness even more so than people that do not have autism. Who wrote that? Autism.org.uk. Yeah.

Yeah, they might just be British. Yeah, they're British. They have no idea what they're talking about. They think they're, they're autistic over there aren't autistic, they're just British. What do they do? How can they, you can't quantify that. That's ridiculous.

Yeah, well they have. They're actually more lonely than us. It's like, shut the, what the fuck are you talking about? That's a fair point. Yeah, well that's all based on these stupid servants. That's all them sitting there and being like, I am lonely. Yes.

They do the same thing. I feel very sad. Like on a scale of one to five, how bad's your anxiety? They're like four and a half. They're like, it turns out yours is four and like this. They use those scales. They're kind of stupid.

So. But. So shove that up their ass. I would say they've probably experienced a lonely or life of like literally, you know, like your parents are obviously kind of nice to you, but like every single peer you ever met is just kind of like, hey bud, what's going on?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm I'm I'm not said in my ways, thinking people with autism are faking being alone. I don't think you are. I heard a lot. I've had a lot of that talk of people being like, that girl and that shows faking like, no, no. You just want to fucking.

Yeah, they're pretty autistic. Yeah, true. That's the thing. If you're watching Love on the Spectrum, you're like, that girl's faking it. You just want to fuck that girl. True. And you don't want to fuck somebody with a mental disability.

You're you're coping. Yeah. Dude, I, I, everyone on that show, I watched the American season, dude. American season. So James is the boy. Oh, true. You turn me on to James.

I was a, no, I'm a subot guy. Subot, maybe so happy. Subot rules. Subot and his girl, maybe cried. Rachel, I think sobbed. Yeah. He had a happy ending. James is reweighting his tower for his damsel, dude. He will.

He will be there. He is the way he shows out. He kind of had a baby at the Renfest, and he did get that correct. But yes, he wanted to be friends with him. He hit him with Let's Just Be Friends, dude. And you see him physically process the information and it's just like, Jesus Christ sucks.

Subot had a good time. Yeah, I take back the loneliness thing. Subot, Subot sang a Mary Poppins song out of the power of love. For real, there's a God, dude. Yeah, you want to talk about seeing Christ, seeing God. That's how it works. Oh, yeah. Like we can talk chemicals and induced love, all that.

That dude, the power of love overcame a fucking mental disability. Yeah. And this guy was able to sing beautiful music with a girl with Down syndrome, flying a kite. It's fantastic. Purely through the power of love, which is the Holy Spirit. There was, absolutely. And there's the other guy who was with it.

There was the other guy with the lady who like went and they would just look at tigers all the time. I saw that. And they would chill together. That squad. That was such a good couple. Bro, when she gave her gummy worms being like, all right, cool, we're going to split these up.

And he's like, I'd sure like to have some of those. And she was like, no, she was like, these are mine. These are my gifts from you. And she wouldn't get she wouldn't share the gummies with them. And he had to sit there on the beach at a sunset and be like, he counted some pelicans. Oh, he saw some birds. True.

Yeah, that's why that was one of my favorite lines. He was like, one, two, three, four, five pelicans. She's like, it's a good thing we're humans. We're not we're not birds. It's nice. Dude, when they, when she was like, when he was like, do you want to be my girlfriend? Do you want to be my boyfriend?

The kiss, come back inside, tell the mom. Then the mom's like, oh, cool, cool, whatever. Like she kept it in. And then when she did the self interview and started like, oh, I'll start crying. I'm going to cry right now. Yeah, dude, it was it was it was great. Also, so nice.

When I watch Love on the Spectrum, Britney's always like, you shouldn't you just make it fun. Like, I'm not making fun of this. I'm watching this and I'm like, I'm watching their interactions dating and I'm like, what they call neurotypical. I'm like, it's you just have extra plugins. You're you are autistic. Yeah, you got the Java updates.

Do you want to you can like go on a date and like just spin a more like intricate thing. But in reality, I'm watching them on a date and like, that's the exact exact exact same process going on of being like streamlined. So oh, my God, I'm ruining it. I love you. I love you so much.

I don't have stuff to say. I just started going like, so what did you go to school for? I have that one extra trick up my sleeve. What do you do? What do you do for a living? Exactly. Oh, that's I can never interesting. No, I can go on more pants and I just want to talk about what

I'm interested in the whole time. And if they're like, yeah, I don't like that. I'm like, you don't want to hear about your G. Christian Murthy. Can I go to the bathroom? I have to go to the bathroom now. Baby, dude, I watched Speaking of Catholicism. Yes, fired up.

I watched I watched the movie Silence. You ever see that? No, it's you got to be in the mood for some Catholicism to really enjoy it. It's about I think you don't have the priests going over to Japan. Yes, yeah. Back in the day to try to missionaries. Yeah, Jesuit priests.

Missionary style. They met. Matt, they're priests. Chew my bed. You would like it, dude. I did you show me a little bit. It's like a biblical fucking story, dude. There's a drunk Japanese dude that keeps failing,

keeps lying down like they have to forgive him for God. He's forgetting his Bushido. He's talking to God. He talks to Jesus. Towards the end, Jesus starts chatting back a little bit. Really? Whoa. Whoa.

What? Well, I got to do my backlog of TV stuff to watch is just. It's a long one and it'll put you to sleep. If you want your fucking if you want the women in your house to quiet, it'll be nice. Talk silence. That's why they named it. It literally is.

Yeah, that's it. I've updated my tranquilizer. It's way more than Revenant. Really? It's way more than there. There will be blood. Yeah. Silence is the number one.

Put your girl to sleep, dude. Yeah, that's a I'm going to bed. Yeah. I'm mad at you. Dude, they get hungry and get mad at you. It's fucking tired. It's hunger and being tired is your fault, dude. And then they can't eat like I couldn't eat.

It's like, yeah, you fucking could. Yeah. You eat like with Uber eats now. It's like, dude, it's a click of a button. Yeah. You had every opportunity. I'm stuck. They like starve themselves into just like a pure rage.

And it's like, that's both of these. And then it's your fault. Oh, it's insane. Yeah, it's like both your anger and your starvation are purely unnecessary. We have the means technologically, financially. We have physical food in the house. Yeah.

What's the what the fuck's going on? And then they munch, dude. Then they'll sit down and fucking house shit. It's crazy, dude. And be like, I'm kind of eating that much. I hate myself. It's like, well, that's because you ate. You don't eat.

We'll go out to dinner and you eat one bite. Yeah. And then you're like, I'm trying not to eat. Well, why'd you make me take you out to dinner? Well, then they'll go home and then I eat the other meal. Yep. I'm like, we're not going to leave this. Of course not.

I'm going to munch two meals every time we go out to eat. Then they'll go home and eat like ice cream with impunity, dude. They'll go home and just munch a fucking gallon of ice cream. And it's just like, you're going to die. You're going to die. We all are. True.

True. But silence. If you want a good Catholic, put it to bed. If you're interested, if you want a quiet wife and you want to get in touch with your spirituality, I know you were reading about Paul. Yeah. It'll fire you up.

I have so much to talk about, Paul. Let me hear about Paul. Dude, so this is it. Dude, pure Catholicism this episode. That's all there is, man. Ever since my scare with death this week yesterday. Pure Catholicism. I'm back to the power.

Yeah, you must be, dude. The truth. It's the universal truth. Dude, Paul. So at the time, Corinthians, I didn't know. Corinth was in Greece. So he was the lead temple in Corinth was the temple of Aphrodite, which

was you go have ritual sex with prostitutes. So you'd bring an animal. You're going to eat some pussy in there. Oh my God, you're going to eat like. Yeah. And you know, a bit of an Epstein's Island. Yeah. Because these women, what they talked about too,

a lot of the. Holy shit. A lot of the temple. Big one for coming up. I got a big one. A lot of the temple maidens, they would be a hot commodity to be married off. Yeah.

So like if you were trying to get your son a wife, I'm going to get him one of those retired child prostitutes because she's skilled in bed. And you know, it's like she's hot as fuck. You know, for the time, for the time. It's nice when dudes view it like that. When it's like, oh, she's skilled in bed. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's like, ew. You know, there's two ways you can view it. I know some guys that view it like skilled in bed. Nice. Dude, you would walk. So you'd walk like a bull to this thing. Because you want to get the best meat you could sacrifice.

It was a fellowship sacrifice. Yeah. So you'd bring a bull and then you'd sacrifice it. And they would cook the meat and give you a little bit. And then at the top of the temple, out of the backward, whatever, they would sell all the best meat in the marketplace. So that's how the temple of Aphrodite would just be powerful and rich as fuck.

Because it's like, it's ritual sex. They're selling all the best meat that they're just getting for free. So then you would walk there, have sex. And then there'd be dudes just walking by like a hot dog stand. Just like, bam, let me get like a rack of ribs. And it was the best meat. But when Paul came through, the problem was that was all the,

if you wanted to go munch, that was the best meat coming out of the temple of Aphrodite. First of all, you had to go to church. You could either go fuck prostitutes. You could either go just no qualms, go to Epistene's Island, like everyone being like, yeah, dude, that's what we do as a society. Or you had to go, nah, that stuff's fucking lame.

I'm going to go chill with the early church of Corinth or St. Paul. So it was tough wrangling those boys, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're up against it. How could you get away? Yeah. But you're up against it.

It was unfathomable, dude. It was Hooters. To be like, but the thing is, is like, how did you talk these dudes out of that? To be like, what was going on? The Pussy and Meat Temple? Yeah, dude. Let me tell you something.

I'm at the Pussy and Meat Temple. I mean, they must have been having there. But to think about it, it must have been pretty unfulfilling on some level for these dudes. They'd be like, yeah, dude, this shit's fucked. This stinks. I've been at the Pussy and Meat Temple. What you would think?

I mean, imagine if Buffalo Wild Wings makes one. Exactly. If Hooters makes one small tweak. Yeah, where the girls actually fuck you. If you bring the wings, you can eat the waitresses. Pussy, that's basically what happened. Then you could eat someone's pussy. And you get one wing, and you get the interpussy.

Fellowship sacrifice. So you eat the pussy, and here's one wing of the 12, of the dozen wings that you bought. And you can purchase some wings after. Then you can buy some dudes. You go around back and buy the wings. Exactly. So you get to fuck the Hooters waitresses.

You bring a tray of food, and then you go buy somebody else who made something better, probably. Yes, exactly. That's what they're up against, dude. That's what they're up against. We have to fire this idea up again. Or you could fucking go get just chewed out by Paul Thorne and Pistol.

You could show up and be like, I'm with my fucking set mom. This is cool. And he'd be like, no dumb ass. You can't do that. But they sent all the letters with them being like, can we eat the meat from the whore temple? And he was like, yeah, dude, just don't worry about that. Yeah, you eat the meat from whore temple.

He's like, that shit's not even real. Literally goes, Aphrodite is bullshit, dude. This stuff's not even real. Go eat the meat. Don't be a dumb ass. Stuff's delicious. Oh, nice. Yeah, it's pretty tight.

Paul does rule. He does, dude. He absolutely. But it was, dude, I didn't realize that's what they're up against, dude. I was looking at some saints. Were you really? I looked at them, my namesake, Saint Sebastian.

What's he up to? It's pretty funny. You've seen the painting of him tied against a tree. You got shot with arrows. He survived that, went back to the guys who shot him and was like, that was bad. You shouldn't be doing that to people when they beat him to death with clubs.

But he got clubbed to death. Dude, it's great. I mean, dude, nobody, I would say pretty much nobody was nice back then. Being nice was a new invention that they had to come out with. And like, now, guys, just be nice. It's so sick about Jesus. So sick about Jesus.

That's what Jesus, yeah. Fuck you guys. Jesus does rule for that. It was just guys being like, I need more satchels of gold coins. And I'm going to kill dudes and fuck child prostitutes. And that's all we have. And dudes like, no, you can just fucking be nice. You're nice people.

And they're like, shut up, pussy. Bleh. That's fucking us up. Just killing a guy with arrows and then him living just to come back to your fucking court and be like, no, don't do that anymore. Shut up, dude. They clubbed him.

Well, then that's what Paul warned against. He's like, guys, just chill now. We're all boys. But as this organization grows, the snakes will enter, dude. Snakes will enter and the fucking yeast will enter the bread and it'll rise. It's like this. Exactly.

Here come some snakes. Exactly, dude. He said that's like this organization will become laden with snakes and it must be exposed regularly. No, you are not a snake. I'm loyal to you guys. I don't know why you joke about that. It hurts my feelings.

That's what a snake would say. True. All I heard was it. Emotional. Emotional. Oh, shit, we have to do the ad reads. Yeah, yeah. What time are we going to find something?

How far are we in here? Damn, I find what could be a big reveal, but we'll find it. Go find it. Yeah, I forgot you had a you're sitting on a fucking bomb, dude. All right. Let me go. Here comes a mad reads, guys.

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But this thing was pretty good fit bod. It's a fitness app. It can be hard to find time to work out, as we all know, fit bod smart workout app, scientifically, tailors and exercise program to your goals, equipment and schedule fit bod is the easiest way to work out. I use it. Oh, they're putting words in my mouth now.

I use it. I love it. I'll say this. I do you. I use fit bod. I used to use an app before that was like this and I do like these apps where they make up an actual fitness regimen for you because I would go to the gym and do like four dips,

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Nice. But so yeah, so I will say I do love. I don't know if I love it. I do use it and it's it's pretty good. So please don't put words in my mouth. What goals have I set again, just trying to keep my cellular kingdom aligned and everything good. What progress are you seeing?

I've seen some progress with you, body. I'm you know, that's you're physically imposing. I would say I'll give that more towards my my will. I mean, dude, I've been I've been charged. My willpower is on fire right now around food. I mean, dude, we all have like an animal within us. That's like I'll have food inside. I'm like, I'll start eating it yesterday.

I was just munching this fucking bread. It's group food that everyone's sharing. I'm on it, bro. It's like I can't I mean, I'll. Yes, somebody else is going to get that. Dude, they've they've I've heard people say on Shark Week, we don't understand the process behind a feeding frenzy. It's like I fucking do.

Just munching the Gillis family Christmas. It's just you see someone put out a plate and dude's swarm. Other question. How does fit bod keep you? I don't even understand that fucking question. Please fix your copy. You dumbasses. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm kidding.

What is that? It's a bit, dude. It's a bit. How does the app would you have for breakfast? Courage? How does the app make planning workouts easy? That I'll say it does. It makes planning workouts extremely easy to where, again, like I said, you get a push notification

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Can I talk like Borat? He's in his private chambers, fully blackface, just like, oh, fuck, I have a meter. They probably get him out like when Darth Vader's in that capsule and just Justin, full blackface. What are they going on about now? If you're warning this product contains nicotine, nicotine is an addictive chemical.

It's very addictive. So thank you. Thank you, bro. What's up? Maybe I'll save this bombshell for the Patreon. That's a little teaser, dude. That was a nice teaser, dude. Yeah, we've gone long enough on this.

We can go hit him with, oh, shit. I tricked him on the ass. Not so good. You're not in the inner circle. We don't know them anything, dude. Let me tell you something. This was delivered to me. I was invited to a secret society.

What? I've made it. They're going to kill me for releasing this information. What? You can find out more on Patreon. Shit, dude. Join the Patreon. Sick move.

Watch Silence. If you want your girlfriend to be quiet, watch the movie Silence. And don't come at me when that movie sucks. Don't. Because a lot of people think it sucks. Don't do it. Yeah, but dude.

But you don't understand being Catholic. Most people are dumbasses. And the beauty and sacrifice that these men made while getting lied to. That's what I'm trying to say. Golly, it makes me. It makes my heart swell with joy in the power of Christ. All right.

Goodbye. We'll see you on Patreon. Hey, man, dude. Don't say goodbye anymore. We just say amen. Amen. Amen.