Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 406 - Sneak Attack (feat. Stuff Island)

Episode Date: August 25, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Stuff Island @ patreon.com/stuffisland Buy Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch shanemgillis.com YO. This week we're in Stuff Island HQ, joined by Tommy and Chris. We discuss various P.U.A. tactics, the middle east, and becoming cavalier. Please enjoy.  Support the show and get 20% off with the code DRENCHED at https://Lucy.co Support the show and get up to 29% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRENCHED at https://displate.com/mssp?art=6247403451297 Support the show by going to https://www.HamiltonDevices.com and use code DRENCHED15 for 15% off    

Oh, fucking yeah, dude. What's up? Yeah, that's what's crazy is how broken his body is, too. Like his first of all, his shoulder is off of his shoulder. He looks like, you know, you know, when the Terminator comes over the conveyor belt, like his arms off. She's the T-1000. It's exactly where it needs to be.

I'm so fucking dead. I'm so excited for the fight. When is it? September 10th. Yeah. Oh, man. Dude, he's basically he's going to be, I hope it doesn't occur, but he might be the first martyr of you. It's martyr, though.

It's total. No, I'm saying just for your body, what it's what's going on. It's it's literally a full love of the game. It's a comp. It's the deepest compliment. Who's the guy he's fighting? Who's comes out? Oh, yeah. He wins.

He's the next big thing. But he's he's he's he's really fucking people up. Although that Gilbert flight, he's struggling a little. He's not a knockout guy, though. He's kind of like a grindy in the dust. He's like a kabebe. Yeah, like a white mozzie. Yeah, he's a white muscle.

Right. He bites you. Yeah, I think he's a little cheshire. Not be scarier of a human being in a white mozzie. Yeah, it's true. That whole area is terrifying, dude. To imagine that black flags book. Why'd you break it down?

The what? One of the little neighborhoods. Yeah. But of course, not going on a white mozzie's door asking for milk or I mean, first of all, I'm not going to speak for all of Muslim society, but I would imagine if we took all of them like, you know, who could beat their wives and most

without getting in trouble? They're probably if you did like a serious gallop poll, that there's that on the top layer. You just beat the fuck out of them. Not all, obviously, but like, there's definitely areas. You can beat their wives. The most is definitely areas. Must be some of that beard, because white dudes

white dudes in Philly with that beard. Yeah, 100 percent hit. If you don't have a mustache with one of those beards, you are absolutely beating the fuck out of your life. And you can also think of your wife yelling at you and you're going like this. You probably get my words of clarity. I just fucking.

You're just charging up. Like I grew this. I didn't think I'd get this beard this long. I'm like, oh, deck this chicken. You remember, you remember verses of the Quran that are like women should submit. Well, God said it. So dude, they're poetic flares top notch to any time

they write letters, it's like, you will pay for this in blood and soul. And I'm like, holy fuck that black flag. Yeah. Matt, put me onto this. It's the nicest book. So yeah, you're listening to that was Francis. Shout out Francis.

How about Zarkawi writing fucking gay love letters to it? So it's like such a bitch ass. Such a bitch ass. Did he want those out? Or somebody got into his journal? He was writing like love letters to his sister that were like real. Oh, whoa.

Oh, that was to his sister. He had a lot of time on his hand. So he was writing every other letter in different colors. Yeah, but I. Drawing flowers. Like a middle school girl. Do you have like the bubbly handwriting? It was.

Yeah, he was sitting there going. When you're. So gay. You're so gay, dude. You're holding up just waiting for a bomb to smash. Yeah, but he loved his mom. And I think he like had a romantic entanglement with his sister. I don't want to ruin the guy's reputation.

I don't want to ruin the guy's reputation. I was a little bummed out that like we just drone strike these dudes. Yeah. But then there's a part of me that's also pretty happy about. Yeah, like the like Jihadi John. You remember that guy? He was a British dude that went over there and was like be heading people for ISIS on camera.

He got he got the first. Wasn't the first guy who's part of the Beatles is what they're called. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or British. You're far. You're far ahead. No, I just remember that. I didn't get there.

OK, OK. But we drone strike them and there's a part of me that's like, man, that guy should be tortured. Yeah. Like one of them one of them serving life in England. It's like killing. Yeah, yeah. Definitely they don't do that, I guess rendition.

Yeah, get them. So you're making them a martyr. Yeah, true. But if he's fully got the download of militant militant Islam, he's going like sweet. Yeah, it's death. It's martyrdom or victory, bro. Yeah, I like I like the bin Laden move where you just like snip a piece

off them, dump them in the ocean. Allegedly. Allegedly. Sure. Yeah. But then again, most of these drone strikes are like he's gone. Yeah, you're not finding a trace. He was vaporized.

I looked up the Wikipedia of Jihadi John. And they're like, it was literally a perfect drone strike. No one else got hurt. He got vaporized. And yeah, it made me happy a little bit to be like they're all like we're more we're martyrs. We're like it's this devout thing. And then some guy with the computer is like, delete that guy, delete that guy.

I mean, it's also too, when you don't understand technology, like there's got to be areas that have like way behind on tech. So they're like, what happened? It's like, did a missile just came out of apparently a guy on a computer. Probably like a guy in Arizona with like a joystick. Yeah, that was my favorite thing is to explain that. And imagine explaining that to them. Yeah.

If you just been like a shepherd, like I had like a pastoral existence. And all of a sudden you're like, there's a dude all the way over there that hit a button and that guy's dead. You're probably like, your mind was spinning. The craziest. Also, that's how good their speeches have to be to rally people against that. I'm telling you, it's blood and souls. It's nothing but like a fire, a fire passion.

You hit a couple of weddings. They're also putting that's a pretty easy speech. It's a real easy speech. You hit someone's wedding, you remember that? Yeah, he used he used the couple red weddings. What was the abu? Who's what was the prison thing? Abu Ghraib was the yeah, that's when he cut off that dude's head.

They talked about the American that's not Abu Ghraib. That's Abu Ghraib. I'm saying he brought up Abu Ghraib in that speech. He's like, you fucking pussy. He's where's your fucking zeal, you motherfuckers? And he's cut off this like entrepreneur's head. The guy who was like trying to make towers, trying to make communication towers, everything's in tech.

Get the fuck out of here. He's a tech nut. The production quality, the terrorist videos were fucking the best. Yeah, they were doing good. The cages, remember the one where they pulled up like a Toyota Corolla? They handcuffed him to steering wheel. And then one guy just got on a knee with a rocket launcher. No, I don't remember that.

No one watches this. That one was sick. Oh, God. And the drowning, they dropped them in a fucking in a pool, like an Olympic pool in a cage. Really? Because I've been watching the Canadian pilot was bad, put him in a cage and then had a line of gasoline. Yeah. Oh, shit.

And they filmed it like. Yeah, it was a movie. Yeah. For a movie. HD. Oh, my God. For a day, dude. But they're still there's editing. Imagine doing it at Best Buy being like, well, what are the specs on this? What are you going to use it for?

Well, I'm sure to go film with my buddies. A sketch. I have the beheading videos. They kind of fucked with you. They didn't get you to watch the actual like head come off with the bird. Don't you get to watch? No, they would start cutting and then cut to just hold in the head. No, you watch the American version.

No, I was. Yeah, they must have remained like they went through the hole. They must have released that after. It's so bad. Maybe it was behind a paywall. That's good. Is that what they do with porn videos? You know, when they don't show it coming on her face, subscribe if you want to see

the guy's about to bust and then they cut. I'm about to blow up this mall. See if you want to subscribe and don't forget to comment down below. About five rockets. I'm about to eviscerate Drudinian intelligence. That book is honestly the best. I think one of the best places. Francis Ellis, shout out.

He told he recommended it. He took me aside. He said, look, listen to this now. I said, it's only audio. Can you get a regular? No, you're going to write a regular book. You probably get flagged. It's all about exclusive.

I mean, it's just the story of ISIS. Oh, yeah. It's not like ISIS is recruiting pamphlet. No, yeah. The first 10 year in, dude, but they're making us like they got they got Salman Rushdie, they got him. Yeah, yeah, Muslims are still fine, dude. Yeah, they would.

He just went in for like a dinner and then they cut him up. No, he was given a speech. Yeah. Oh, he was. Yeah. Yeah, you're thinking about the other journalists. Yeah. And I think people thought it was like a I've heard people there thought it was

like a theatrical performance. How'd they get Rushdie? That just happened, right? Yeah, he's just given a speech and a guy started stabbing him. No, he was given a speech about why he should be allowed to say Islam's violent and a radical Islamist stabbed him to death. At the foot, dude. Yeah, no, we're not.

Oh, my God. Actually, there's a lot of us who are peaceful. Did he give this speech prior to and that's how they knew he was given another one somewhere? No, he wrote that book. No, I think he wrote the book. Satanic verses. Oh, yeah, he was on the fucking list to begin with.

I ran the state of Iran put out a fat while on him. You know, he was the fucking guy that married the hot Indian chef. Salman Rushdie. Padma. Lakshmi. Padma. Padma. That's how you say it.

I'm not going to be given speeches anymore. Yeah, dude. Yeah, she's a smoke and marry that do doggies. Yeah, right. Married a chef. Yeah, Padma. Oh, wait, I got that right. That's how you say it.

I thought you ran to Bali with star. Yeah, Fatwa. Yeah, they're pretty, they're pretty nasty. That's a bad boy. Yeah, it's like she's like an angel. Married a fucking bad boy. He's hideous. Look at this.

Look at this one and two. Oh, my God. This is a powerful man. Now he looks good. Yeah, he's a powerful New York Times best. So look at that guy. Dude, he looks like always put the harder than him, dude. He looks like more of the rings.

I was the point down towards the eyes over there. Look at those eyes, though. Those eyes pierce your soul. Yeah, dude. That book money. And then look at that angel. Yeah, greatest hits in the world. Dude, he's like he's like a Jason Bourne character.

Yeah, yeah. He literally got stabbed at like a convention out of action. There was like a Pittsburgh. Was it really? Where was where to get stabbed? It's always going down in Pittsburgh. Yeah, they were getting stabbed at like an intellectual black tie event is the horniest.

You can get a check. Oh, my God. Pittsburgh. Yeah, high society, but also in danger. High society, yeah, it's fucking as hot as it gets. It's pretty good. Merchuk. He's put French fries in his casket.

It was in the. Oh, OK. Yikes. Damn, probably not that far from here. There's no security against his fucking with this guy. How did that happen? I think he lost some juice in his speeches. I've seen security money.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He wrote the Satanic Versus like a decade ago. Yeah, it was like the 80s. So it was kind of longer. I think like 30 years. Yeah, I think you're right. Because he was in full on hiding for a while. And they got every they got a ton of people

associated with the book. They were killing like Purdue, like a publisher. They killed really a lot of people. They got a Japanese dude. What are you doing got hit? I don't know. But that's one of the partners got hit. That's a battle.

That'll get me activated. Did you want to get my deal going? Yeah. Partners go down. I'm just a partner trying to be like this. Partners are like, I want to start a new political party. That's just Japanese people in Spanish, like Mexicans. Like we got to come together and form a coalition.

The Japanese and the Mexicans. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want to be their boss. That would be a good party. I would charge. They're dropping mexico or like Hispanic migrant workers. They'll be a fun party.

They are dropping the dude shout out Texas governor Abbott. Yeah. Just busting the boys up to boss them up, bro. New York and DC. Just like, see how it is. See if you guys want to change your mind on this fucking open boarders thing. Yeah.

What if they're what if it does rule to have like nine million back? Yeah, they're busting them back. Oh, the bus in a bag? Yeah. It's a bus with the boys. They're getting back on the bus. This is good for a new bus tour.

I might outfit it. Some guys are making it up. Follow me if you want to live. Just fucking just start a contracting company. Follow me. It's only what? Come on. Hop in my Dodge Drago.

We're going a little deeper now. We got to demolish this mall. The megabus has to be killing it. Yeah, 100%. The megabus got government contracts. Yeah. Going back and forth between Texas and New York. Chinese casino bus.

Ever jump on one of those? Whoo. That's a ride. Are they sending them back? They're doing the Fung Wa bus? Yeah, Fung Wa. Like it goes from fucking. I think it got discontinued.

The Greyhound in Center City all the way to AC, I felt it once. Me and like fucking 90 year old Koreans. It's just a Fung Wa to AC. Smoking on it. Where do they let you off? You're fucking lulled. They let you off it like that. They actually do an AC.

And these little ones jump out before it goes into the water. They hit the bus driver, hopped out, and start selling your body in Atlantic City. They're fucking nuts. They don't buy any drinks. They just they fucking, they're like a fucking bus full of. I don't want to get in the way. I don't want to get in the way.

Yeah, they only have two. Yeah. But yeah, dude, it's so funny to think about Texas and New York just playing pong with Latinos. Yeah. No, we totally have a. You got to lose a few of them on the way, right? I mean, you can't even keep track of like fifth graders at the zoo.

Well, that was a couple left behind. The funny governor, Abbott speech was like, they're totally allowed to get off the bus, just not in Texas. Yeah. It's like the stops at rest stops all over the place. They get off wherever they want. That's con air, dude. Yeah.

It is con air. Is there like a fat lady with a whistle around her neck? Count them, you know what I mean? It's funny because they just really want to work really badly, too. They're like, you know, I'll be honest. These bus rides are probably pretty nice for them. You know, you just walked for fucking the entire Central America. And I just a seat out, sitting on a bus.

Yes. Things are going well. They definitely get in snacks. Well, they're bringing out now. They ramp in the like the border family separation thing, like the colonies they had. They're bringing it back. They're bringing that back with the vengeance.

Really? Yeah, Biden fucked up on gas. Now, like, remember those fucking kids in cages? They're they're bringing that up big time now. Really? Yeah, that's going to be the new thing. The kids are still in cages. People are now again out, right?

Didn't Biden's brother build those cages? I think so. I think I think it was contracted to Biden's brother. No way. Hey, Chris. Is the cage. Dude, I saw a guy. I saw a guy today with a Biden hair sticker.

That was so crazy. Dude, I saw a guy parking a parking lot with a Biden hair sticker and there was a part. I was like 30% compelled to go up to him. Like, dude, you like, do you really fucking like that? You really did. You really see those guys and be like, we're going to turn this around.

No way. That's how you feel out of your mind. What? You love Biden hairs. No, I was voting against Trump. I wasn't like, I wasn't. Biden hairs. But it's it's girl stuff.

It's so funny, though, to be like, hi, we need personality robots to fix our country. People are like, we've got to grow up and realize we need personalityless robots who are completely paid for by corporations and fixes. It's bullshit. Oh, yeah. That's why I saw that guy sticker.

I almost literally he was a doctor. I was tackle him. I almost walked up to him. Make sure you're with the Nate. Take that shit off. That'll fuck somebody up on the street. If I turn my back to him. He slapped you like I'm calling the cops.

I was like, now that's how you strengthen the Biden coalition. Dude, I mean, you listen to Black Flags. That was a complete fuck up in Iraq. Yeah, there are people they tell apparently intelligent people like, dude, the Iraqis are not our enemy. There's an insurgency and they're like, dude, Shane, he was like, yeah, he's like, no,

we're definitely that we're going to completely destroy the enemy. We destroyed Iraq in like five seconds. Yeah. Completely dismantled the military and the government like very quickly. And then terrorists just attacked. Yeah, I always thought the way that they tore down

Saddam's statue was kind of lame. Some say it was staged. I won't say who told me out of my drive up. So it was staged. Yeah. Yeah. When it happened, there were Arabs that were like, these guys aren't Iraq. That was that's the worst.

They were like, these guys aren't Iraqi. They just like they bust them. They thought they ponged them in. They they ponged them in. I mean, imagine if you if it was like New York and it was just clearly a bunch of people from Indiana, Texas. Yeah, it'd be like, that's not how these are in New York. Like, yeah, that's not the Bronx.

Yeah. Yeah. That's not how we tear down. A lot of people are hated those guys. They were just like, America sucks, dude. Yeah, they were pissed because they had no ideas. Like they all of a sudden the government gets taken out and then like they were getting like hospitals blown up and they were just like, this is the Americans.

Yeah. What's going on with Russia? Are they still? I think they're trying to get updates anymore. It's kind of embarrassing. The war is taking this long from the beat Ukraine. Yeah, Ukraine's like a. Well, we keep giving Ukraine goodies, right?

Yeah. Yeah, we got a recession. We need to start giving them 40 billion dollars. Yeah. We also might be like spying in on the Kremlin with like some weird holographic spy or the technology probably crazy, right? Holograph spy?

Probably. Is this a Roomba? Turn it around. He's got to go in the fucking. He's got to go in the cafe. She's sitting there. Giving a message to a corner. That'd be funny if all Starbucks baristas were spies.

I want to hear Chris do the robot again. Yeah, yeah. You act out. Got now. Big physical. I've never seen those actouts this weekend. Yeah, I want to see it. Oh, I'll bring it.

I'll bring the energy. Yeah, I thought about that. Like I should just go all energy. What the fuck is up? Yeah. Oh, man. I love you. That was good.

Oh, dude. Oh, calm in Zintra. That was the funniest fucking thing. It was just full Steve and Janowski. He was Steve. He was like, when you said that. You're just going to be my best friend. Oh, you didn't hear this?

So I don't know if I want to hear that. When you did the Janowski in here, I laid back at the pole. It was Janowski. Yeah, it was so funny. So we needed. I was there. You were lounging in the green room, I think.

You were probably dry hopping. That's show. It was second show. I think he was there. I think he left, right? You were dry hopping. Oh, like this was right here. Yeah, I left.

So we needed someone. Wait, what was he? I fucking missed this. You have serious dry humps. I needed a heavy petting, neutral petting. We needed a jerk off from it. Mine. We wanted to masturbate.

We all wanted to masturbate. We all wanted to masturbate. How about John calling out my fucking girl? I don't know where John's like, Tommy. What do you say about me? He was like, he brought a girl. She's got a fucking accent. Of course she doesn't.

She doesn't have an accent. John is all a tamper. John's like, he's got a fucking accent. I'm fucking holding the girl in the shadows like this. And literally, like a minute before that, she looked back. She's like, I'm having so much fun. I was like, OK, my friend's rule. And then he was like, he gets girls through Uber.

He's got a new one. And I was like, jeez. He said I was whispering to her and I was like, I do not. I didn't hear that part of the accent. And he's like, yeah, she's got an accent. Of course she feels like she's got an accent. She was like fucking Catholic and a Jewish. Yeah, as soon as they said accent, I was like, I heard her talk.

I know, I heard that. He was right. In her face looked like she was about to deliver a fucking speech like the Mexican, the wife of the Mexican president. So we needed it. We needed John was like, who do we have to host? Like to open the show that could do high energy. I was like, I don't think we have one friend.

Connor. I could have done it. And I was like, O'Connor can do this screaming. That is so fucking funny. Oh, yeah. So the first were you talking yourself? No. First show is good.

First show is like, are you ready? Now you had a couple cocktails. Yeah, we all did. That second show was out of control. Blacked out. Second show was nuts. But the intro is like, are you ready? Oh, my God.

Oh, the first intro. And he goes, I'm giving up. They're like my best friends. Oh, my God. That was embarrassing. I thought it was you doing a voice back stage. I got to catch that. I thought it was you trying to open the door.

It was so good. What the fucking bears in there? At least that wasn't on tape. Hold on. That's what you think. You don't fucking remember. You don't fucking remember. We got the CCTVs from there.

God damn, those green rooms, the locusts were swarming. They were. Holy shit. The fucking Nate and LaMare, as soon as they walk in, just start eating. I'm like, give it a fucking minute, you fatties. Bro, it was. No, that pizza needed to get got.

Somebody needed to do it. There was one slice missing. I was I looked around the room. I was like, definitely those two. Yeah. I don't know. Lorenzo. It was so bad.

So many people. It's so you got to roll it up. Like it does. I mean, the size is not even the size is an attempt to make up for how shitty it tastes. We just this is a garbage pizza. They probably import grease from other pizza and dump it on hot.

It's so fucking greasy. It's it's so. But if it's not like scalding hot, it's not burning your mouth so you can't taste it. It's it's just wet. Yeah, yeah, it's all wet. Although it's a slice. It's this big my cousin Ajax has a technique

for eating pizza one bite. He does obviously the fold. Everyone knows that he tucks the slice up. I like that move. Yeah, it is nice. Pretty nice. One slice domino. He's one slice.

Once I get on a domino slice. Don't know. You guys hit down the most late night, didn't you? Yeah, I saw that. So good. I don't know if I can. They brought like eight boxes after after the show. Straight up.

The domino is hand made pie is unbelievable. Yeah, it was good. I haven't done it in years. And they claim to revamped. Whatever. They revamped their whole recipe. But you know, come on, you got a big debate coming up. Oh, no.

A big what? He's got a debate with you. Oh, you say yes. Yeah, I told you to say yes. It's not a debate. It's definitely a debate. Why? What does he want to why?

Who is this? Why is he reaching out to you? Did you watch any of his content? No. Who is this? Jesse Lee Peterson. JLP. He's in a debate.

I don't know. Could these people goofing? But I responded to the emails. I asked around the show. The allegations of being a child was like, what? Yeah, he's gay. They. Well, it was.

Yes, he's gay. Doesn't mean you're fucking. No, no, but he not only is he gay, but he like reaches out to young men and like is like. Dude, he's trying to fuck you. Maybe. He's a gay black conservative. Yeah.

He's going to force you to be allegedly deeply closeted black conservative. And he's he's a legend of the drunken master level, like debater. He fucks people up. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

I don't know. I've seen him debate. He's a more of a repetitive type. Yeah. But he. So he's black. I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

No, no, no. He never raises his voice. He never raises his voice. It just repeats the question. That's the black style of argue. It calls you it calls you a child of the lives. It's always. Yeah.

Scream, repeat. Step into someone's face. I told you many times. What you said and the next move is there's no diffusing. They're going to get hit in the fucking face. It's reality TV argument. Every time. It's nine episodes of Flavor of Love.

That's literally the whole time. Once you move to protect the body shots, this is called. So how did JLP, how does this can't reach out to you? I got an email from a guy that says he's the producer and they wanted they wanted to interview me. What do they want? What do they want to debate you on? I don't know.

The producer reached out to the economy. He didn't say it was a debate. He's got to give you a heads up. Let's talk about it. Definitely debate. It would be crazy to reach out to you. So you've been watching a lot of JLP. Why you?

That's I don't understand. That's what I'm saying. I think I'm not being me. I hope that doesn't sound like I'm being a dick. No, no, just out of nowhere being like Chris O'Connor. I could see JLP having a bone to pick. Definitely. He's probably heard you rant on behalf of Kamala Harris.

You love Kamala Harris. You think she's the right choice. JLP didn't work. This is training. You better. He can't beat me. Oh, true. Good luck.

The gay black pedophile. He's going to fucking kill you. He will kill. The gay Christian black. You can't beat War Mode. Dude, dude, I'll go with you. He's better than War Mode. I mean, I don't mean like I've been watching a lot of his content.

What? Have you been watching on jail? No, I just watched. I just like watch one. I had seen him do stuff like years ago and was like, who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. And then I watched some stuff last night and it was just like his arguments. Oh, he just grabs college students.

He's like, you think girls should have penises? Oh, that's interesting. Why is it like that? Yes. That rules. Oh, that's always interesting. OK, I don't see that. I don't see that at all.

He'll even hit you with an even more vague question. He's like, so are you? What do you think of war? You're like, this is exactly how you are. This is also my nightmare. I think I'm so bad. I'm so bad with shit like this, where a guy asked me a serious question. I'll be like, are you fucking with me right now?

Like, and then I'll just start making fun. I could never debate. I can never do. Who was I just talking to about? He's got to be like, if a black guy robbed you at gunpoint, what would you do? Would you say it? It's one time you round about described thinking. You're like not a fan of that whole thinking stuff.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'll comment. You're good at that argument, like starting argument and then you got to switch. You will hear in the Leon Edwards fight. How about that argument? He's white. This is one of the greatest. This is never switch quintessential.

Oh, con man. We're watching Leon Edwards versus Usman fight at one point. Usman's got his back. We must say first. And his knee is holding Leon like this. So he's right there for the taken. Leon's holding to not get choked. It's a knee punch goes.

Why doesn't he punch the inside of his knee? I was like, he's like, they haven't thought of it yet. I was like, that's why they haven't done it. He's like, it's a new sport. They haven't come up with it yet. I was like, it's a new sport. It's literally fighting to the death. The sports ain't you got all your weight on that leg, dude?

Someone hit the side of that. Dude, you know, you're laying down. You have no. No, he's holding his hands so that he doesn't get choked. Yeah, he's going to let go to try to give him a. They're adrenaline. Well, first, both are adrenaline. They're at like a hundred out of a hundred.

I'm going to punch the fat of his thigh. See these guys, right? Right, right. The leg kick is so much more powerful. The leg kick, you're more of a crowd. My guy, guy, you're like pressure points. I'm just saying, but someone's got to look into it. Relent.

Just saying I was drunk. Obviously I was stupid. It's all whiskey, dude. When you get whiskey, he wants to fight you in any way possible. He was losing. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. We're both about to get going.

Has ever completely derailed due to, like, just whiskey intake? Yeah, both of us. Yeah, an episode. Yeah, what episode? Oh, it's not an episode. No, no, tell me you had to tell me you had to take once the slate closes. You guys are like, catch it off. Tell me mushrooms are too hard once and had I just that was very funny.

That's very funny. That was funny. But I've never seen you guys derail on whiskey on a show. The only time I was I seen Oculus derail off with. Bocular. What? No. The rules.

Yeah, I'm not part of the road. No, he goes in the kitchen. For coming home and just being coming home from a show that you play in Oculus, I'd be like, yo, who's who's got more kills right now? And it was Tommy. Tommy would tell me typically had more kills. And then Chris would be like, but I got to, you know, I'm the one call the shots.

Well, Tommy, Tommy would get so shitfaced. And now you've got no idea what I do this sober. It's gay shit. We played. We played this map like we're courage for the battlefield. Yeah, I was shitfaced, too. Last. I was shitfaced, too.

But we did banana smoothies. I'm just I'm getting liquor. That's why I can enjoy it bettering itself. But it sucks. Chris is becoming a good person. It's about as fucking lame as it gets. There's no excuse. I hate it.

We had six hundred hours on this board and Tommy still didn't know anywhere besides the one roof you like to shoot from. Yeah. And he would just stand up there and that's where the gun is, you know, the ammo. I get a little a little hiding here's the plan. I'm going to stand upstairs and shoot. And you guard the stairs.

It's like, no, I didn't go to every play. So your boots on the ground. Yeah. No, it's not. He would get bored and I would go boots on the ground. He goes in the middle of the shop. All you fucking double time it back to the hotel. Pick up Tommy.

Oh, go back. And they'd be like yelling at each other like all you could see is them with the octos like, what the fuck? What happened? Just. So fucking awesome. An hour and hour hour with that fucking headset on. Sweating your dick off.

Sweating shit. Oh, my God. It's like doing three podcasts in a row. So very up halfway through the battle. It's the most fun. It's the most fun thing in the world. That's why I want to drink it through the oculus. I don't know why you'd lift the mask up.

See me. He didn't know I'd be sitting there. He'd be like, Jesus Christ, he's just come in. He loves coming in real quiet and just stalking us. Dude, it's going to be so funny when they have the metaverse. They're like, it's going to be like you just. I'm going to see a guy being like, faggot. What is the metaverse?

The podcast sucks. It's just a guy now. Like the podcast fucking low energy these days. Like out of my fucking house, out of my cyber house. Like, you're just a freaky dumbass. I'm like, the metaverse is like when we would try to go watch like a Sixers game. Oh, yeah, yeah, you go in that one building.

You sit down next to strangers around the land and put out his own avatar and people are like, that looks like fucking 90s graphics. You dumbass and he's like, oh, it's a fucking test. Whatever. Yeah, he got slammed. They were they withdrew it. Now they're they're drawn. They want to get better graphics. They need a better zuck for the zuckerverse or whatever.

Metaverse is fun. I was in the metaverse once. Were you in the metaverse? I was in the metaverse. And I was in the metaverse. What? You got the download. Yeah. Dude, what are you doing?

Just putting a headset on, just going around the strangers all day. That is the craziest fucking thing out. You were not sober for this. No, I was. Really, too. How did you get in the metaverse? This is a late night. It's going to get everyone bro.

It's going to get everyone. We're all laughing. Everyone's going to be in the metaverse. I fucking won't. I promise you. You'll get in there. Yes, you will. They got golf there.

Me, me, me, me, me, only singles. You got me a lot of. Is there a gym in a bar? I'm in. Yeah. It's literally the only reason I got the. The horny, mature singles. You know, that was his joke, by the way.

No, it's in the metaverse. All belongs to the metaverse of this body. At this point, horny singles are in your area. You're going to find them. Wait a second. That's a good point. It's going to be a dating. Yeah, you're going to get to go show me.

Dating, metaverse, dating. Is it? Do you have to build an avatar? Is it just like? You have an avatar. Yeah. You have a guy that's going to be catfishing me. It could be a beefy, broad broad.

It doesn't matter in metaverse. It could be in there. You probably just take a picture of yourself from like straight on in both sides and they'll just do it for you. Yeah, I like that better. Yeah. People will be able to church up some avatars.

But again, does it matter? You're in the metaverse. Yeah. You're going to have to get a while. No, the point is to meet them. You're going to have to dress like that. You can meet them in real life. Is that the point?

You meet them in the metaverse. You could say and do whatever you want. You're in your little cartoon pants, right? Yeah. You get real confident. You're saying things you wouldn't on a street in a coffee shop. You get to broaden your couch real quick.

You think people are going to be there being like, Hitler had a tough economic situation. No, I would never approach a girl on the street. I would never do what like Gerben does. Yeah, you'd never be a pick up. Yeah, I could never say, God, you look amazing. I just want to stop a joke. Tell an ice breaking joke like Gerben's does.

Chris did it one time. He said he was very successful. Yeah, it works. What? I mean, it's low percentage. But you get what happened. You just walk up to people and you're like, hey, holy shit. They go to fight or fight and they just freeze and say, yeah.

So they feel safe. There's a whole. Hold on. When did this happen? What happened? You never told me you were out dating like this. Well, Gerben couldn't do it by himself. You and Gerben went out.

Oh, shit. He's trying. I keep talking. My bad. Gerben was struggling on the apps. And he was like, he was like, I need people to like meet me in person. So he was watching all this like day game stuff.

And then he was going out. He would go out and do it. He would just walk around by himself and wasn't able to like. Is that when he's listening to Coach Corey Wayne? I think so. Yeah, yeah. Coach Corey Wayne. Yeah.

Dude, he's the fun. I was talking to him about that thing. He might be the funniest dude in the world. He is the funniest dude, I mean. So fucking. I was in tears. He was just telling me at home. And his girlfriend's hot.

Yeah. That was fun. I didn't mean his girlfriend. Gerben's got a hot girlfriend. Oh, yeah. A beaut. A beaut. And it was very fun to be like, Gerben's nice.

And he's like, there's no, like, shut the fuck up. He's just fully like, yeah. He just told me a regular story. I'm like, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Gerben's. Yeah. Good. So you and Gerben's went out.

Pick up on his shit. Yeah. Eventually he was like, he was like, would you just walk next to me? And you got the information. Yeah. Yeah. We locked arms.

Yeah. No. So we were walking. So I was like, yeah, I'll go with you. What was the venue? We were all around like center city, written house. And where were you guys trying to bounce him to? What do you mean?

Yeah. No, I'm not trying to set a date with you right now. No, yeah, you can't. So you guys were just out. Not even in a place. You guys were just out and about just walking around. Yeah. And then eventually, like, Gerben wasn't doing it.

Psycho shit. It is. It's crazy. I was helping a friend. No, you're helping another psycho. You did the right thing. That's not psycho shit. You did the right thing.

Come on, I like this story. You think he did the right thing. Yes, dude. Help me to try and get a pussy. Yeah. Dude, help me avoid your pussy. This is not how you do it. You don't walk around center city in broad daylight.

What else can I do? Go to a bar or something. He wasn't drinking. I don't think it's. Yeah, dude. Just get a fucking sober, dude. You didn't want to barfly. He wanted to fucking a babe.

He wanted to say yes to fucking on the street. Yeah, fucking. No, no, no, they're just trying. You don't fuck on the street. They have an interesting conversation. You're walking up to a woman like, hello, I'd like to hang out with this fucking. He's scary, dude.

And two of these two walking, O'Connor and Gerben walking together already on Saturday. You're not wrong in that this is a wildly outlandish thing. It's crazy. It's insane. Psychotic shit. When do you hear the results? But.

All right. Yeah. But. You did the right thing. Yeah, of course. Dude, my friend needs help. I'm stepping in. I'll do whatever it needs.

You don't try to get some pussy yourself. He told me. Well, this is what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Bunkin, what a philanthropist. No. So if you have your friend raid a village, obviously. Yeah.

Dude, I would do. Yeah. What do you mean? I'd do anything. Well, friend, you're not telling me stuff. I'd do anything. So we were walking around and he wasn't like doing it. And so I was like, I'll do it.

Figuring it would be a disaster. But at least, you know, break the ice. Yeah. Now he has to do it. If I do it. What were you wearing? I don't know. You know, my.

Come on, you remember exactly what you were wearing. What the fuck are you talking about? I was probably wearing an Irish and Jersey. The thing I'm always wearing. Shorts way too long beyond his knees. You were wearing like regular socks. And high school basketball shoes. I'd always be.

Too short. It's way too long. So you just any other day, you're dressed up like whatever. Not at a tiny bit of pep in the outfit. You didn't try to dress up because you knew you were going to. No, I wasn't in the mirror doing my hair. I didn't say that. All to the podcast.

I mean, he's doing shots of time. He's in the pool. He's funny. I mean, there's days where I'm like, oh. Is your shirt matched to couch? So yeah. I just went out there and got my friend. But I'm saying those days was a khaki shirt.

I fucking punched the clock. You did the right thing. All right, we're sorry. We're sorry. What a hard hand. We're sorry. We're sorry. And I went to work.

All they asked me is, did you wear that pay? Did you maybe wear khaki shorts instead of gym shorts? No, I think you knew that you were going to do it that day. I had no idea. I was sporting him. So you guys didn't have free outfits anyway. It was probably a good job. It's probably like a free flyer shirt that was on the seat.

Yeah, you got it on the Chinese box. Definitely. So you make the approach. You're like, you're staying back. Yeah, well, he was breaking it down for me that you like. You go up and you just say, hey, I saw you back there. I thought you look cute. My name is Chris.

And you have to like stand in a place where you're giving them like exits. If you never like swing the gate, close. You never like close them off from the direction they're heading, all this stuff. Yeah, so don't emerge like out of a bush. Don't stay in the bush. You have to take your head out.

No, don't tackle them while they're jogging. You definitely not. You know, I wonder if these same girls assault like we're walking back from where they're coming and saw YouTube predators out talking to other girls. Like, I'd be like, these guys, what are these solicitors? Yeah, there was a definite chance of that. It's like she's naked or she's with a fake basketball team.

He's trying to get money. I already saw you doing that to somebody else. She walked out, we said, I run a modeling agency. I'm a photographer. No, and then like, you know, a lot of people would be like, oh, sorry, I'm like busy or like, they're like, I don't have time or they'd be like, I have a boyfriend or something like that.

But like, I would say 25% of the time you'd get like a number. How many girls did you do this to? Not that many, probably like 10. That's decent, dude. That's a lot. Both of you combined did 10 or individuals? Yeah, I'm not sure if I saw it. That's crazy.

Kermit didn't do it at all. Yeah, dude, after you do it twice, you just stop giving a fuck. Like you're just like, well, what else? So you got like three numbers, four numbers? Yeah, dude, I went on a date. I went on a date with two. How'd the date go?

It's cheap money, so I just stuck it with us. No, no, I got a problem out of story. You and I, I'll try it, will you? Yeah, bro. I'll bitch out of me. You'd be so good re-talking about. I don't know, man. I can't even talk to a girl at like a gym.

I feel weird because I know they're getting the constant all the time. If I'm gonna talk to one, it's gonna be a top shelf one. You know what I mean? Somebody I got to get a little stool to get. This whole spot's gonna be a twig. How do you break common with that? How do you do it?

Sorry, Chris just hit me with the gym from the office look. What do you do? Because if I got to talk to a girl at the top shelf, he's like, the camera. I don't like you on this side. You're too nervous to do it. Why don't you start off with something?

You can get some dogs. That's what the common suture. That's what the common suture says to do. The suture says to practice on like less desirable lovers. Yeah, well, then I got to take three meat. That's how you learn how to like fuck a chick with like a straight down. Like to put your dick in your own butt

while you're posting it for the last page. You're under no obligation to call them. Just get a number. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, very successful numbers. Were you so successful? Gervans like, I can't, I don't want to do it.

No, no, no, no. It's dude, it's like the thing is that it is, you know, you feel sad when someone's like, yeah, you know, yeah. But eventually it's like, it's like stand up where it's like bombing. You're like, that sucked. But also I'll do it again. I'll get it.

I'm going to somehow fuck a fat chick out of this. I'm going to get Chlamydia. I'm going to find the open mic of women today. Just in Philadelphia. Cold car pussy. Yeah, I think I think German did it once or twice. Did he get any? Did he have any success that day?

No, I can't imagine. It was like three or four days. But a Gurby's cold call must be like, well, I'm Steven. I noticed that you were pretty. It must be fucking terrifying. You guys are costing women. It's so funny. We were laughing so hard each other

because when he would go bad, the walk back. It's kind of like the walk. The walk. The meandering walk back to the friend. How'd it go? She wasn't. She was a fucking bitch. She's a fucking ton of life.

I could smell her breath anyway. Yeah, fucking thing. I read RDP. RDP does this for a living. Dude, he is here. Let me tell you something. He's the fucking man. He's a coach.

He's a, he's a, he's a hitch. Cold approach. He's a hitch, dude. Dude, he's a hitch. And not only that, he's the most charismatic. Even when he talks to me, I'm like, I get it. His energy is so aligned with like whatever you're talking about. He just was just in Spain and the Portugal

or whatever the fucking, I was like, how'd you do it? He's like, I did well. Like he's just, he does it all day. He just approaches women, talking to him and he just fucking knocks it out of the park, dude. Number after number after number. It's nuts. And if he talks to me so calm, smile, complimentary,

he's a great guy. Yeah, he's a man. It's a fucking art. It's a fucking art. It's putting out the good energy. Yeah, I don't like it. No, that's not for me. I don't, but I like already a lot.

I think he's a man, but I don't, I don't love dudes walking around being like, I saw you, you're like having a game plan about how you know, he doesn't do it like that. I know, but the whole coaching, I don't know. It's, yeah, it's weird. I don't like that stuff. It's more the philosophy. I really hate it.

I think you have the majority of people heavily dislike. Well, it's manipulative. It's like, here's how I'm going to trick this person. I got to make sure they have exits so they're comfortable so that I can eventually fuck them. It's fucking incisive. I know, it is dehumanizing. It's dehumanizing to where it's like, you're a target.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the strategizing. That's how I approach dating, though, forever, not like that, but I would just meet a girl and be like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Well, yeah, I mean, you're an autopilot. It was just like, yeah, you're trying to make her a habit, but you're not like, I'm going to go in there. I'm going to agree with what she says.

I'm going to try to make her comfortable. That's my plan for this dinner. It's like, that's fucking nuts. Well, this is for people that aren't hardwired for normalcy. You know what I mean? They're usually whack balls that don't know how to sit in a fucking. I know, it still doesn't mean it still doesn't make it any better. Yeah.

Like, you don't have to trick people. Yeah, some people do. It's fake. It's kind of fake confidence, too, in a way. Yeah. Well, you're putting a costume on. Well, just doing it makes it seem like you're courageous. Yeah, when you definitely aren't.

It might be energy you could put to other things that would get a similar result rather than tricking girls. It is like, yeah, learning Spanish. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think this stuff works, too, though. Oh, if you wear a feather on your head, you make eye contact with a girl for more than 10 seconds.

I think she will blow you. That's why it's not nice to do. Just like a cavalier. It's tricking girls. It is. It is a trick. No, I was just thinking about that guy. Yeah, you look fair. Let's get out of here.

In that day and age, it's totally clean. Has a woman you'd like to wear. Wondering what he does. Yeah. How to get here. Oh, Cavalier. Yeah, that's like a purse. Yeah.

Yeah, they're top fantasy. Just clanging into a fucking saloon. You know what I mean? That's her top fantasy. Yeah. Frank, tell me a story about a ship. Like a royal. They love that shit.

Yeah, being a royal. That's the ultimate, dude. That's the ultimate. Mustache, shmone, like old wood. Just getting fingered by a dude with one glove on. He's like, I have to have an important conversation with my father. Yeah.

Imagine if just taking like just one glove off to sex. Sexually. Yeah, that's like a nice build up. Yeah. Mice and men. Really? Guy kept his glove on for his wife. Yeah, and then he fucking squeezed her to death.

Yeah. He couldn't finger her anymore. Wait, he kept a glove on? He kept a glove on for his wife in Mice and Men. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, Mice and Men. So that his hand was clean when he figured it? Nice, soft hand for his wife.

Oh, that's nice. Yeah. It was sweet. But he was mean. He was a bad guy. He was mean to Lenny. Lenny fucked him up. And then Lenny squeezed his wife.

The killer is Ben, right? Anaconda Scowiz. Didn't he kill him in the hay, in the barn? Yeah. Damn, dude. He was squeezing puppies. She found the puppies. It was like dead rabbits in there and then like on top of her.

They were like, you did this. Why was he doing it? They say, no, not Lenny is. Well, Lenny is Mice. But who's the other guy? George. George. Pet the puppy.

George must have been in there. He saw the pile of fucking puppies. He's like, I know who did this. I know for sure who did this. Is a serial squeezer. The big squeezer I hang out with. I told you I would call the special needs people at Westchester the squeezers.

Who said that? Me and my buddy. It's because we used to go to the cafeteria. We're the only dudes in my group of friends that enjoyed the Westchester cafeteria. Because it was like, first off, it was all you can eat. Oh, you can eat. It's all you can eat.

It's the cheapest one. It's the worst food by far, but it was the cheapest one. Like four different cereals on deck, dude. It was so nice. It was crazy. But me and Tommy would go get lunch. And then one day the squeezers. The squeezers would get lunch at the same time as us.

There's this group of special needs people. And one day this girl grabbed the ketchup and went, and fucking, dude, it hit the ceiling. I'm not kidding. The ketchup was on the ceiling. It exploded at the table. All the fucking people. Oh, you guys were holding your crotch.

Dude, I was. The ketchup drowned straight. Dude, she squeezed it. Ceiling and everyone at the table. Oh, shit. I'll never forget how happy I was. Dude, the squeezers are here, dude. What did the bro say when they got hit with ketchup?

It was startling, and the chaperone had to be like, everyone's all right. It's like, whoa! Ah! Ah! It's literally Code Red. Who's a bomb? A fireman off.

It's Code Red. They all just sat down. They all just sat down with their fucking trays. Dude, they probably just got changed from a previously sloppy shirt. They got to change them again. We just got Rex out of his fucking shirt. They must have a part of all for economy and apocalypse.

It was one of those. It was the, you know what I mean? It's like one of baby shits, and then shits again. You're like, Jesus, changing. I kind of changed the game. You know how we clean our shit off? It's bad. When ketchup is totally full, it still has the seal

inside the cap, so that's what she squeezed through. What? And it just... My God! It just fucking... It was huge. I mean, I'm telling you, there was a giant, like, ceilings this high.

It was a cafeteria. It was a cafeteria. It hit the ceiling. Has that ever been done before? It's not low ceilings. It's like two stories. It was nuts. I didn't know that could be done.

Luckily, there was a box of Marvin the Martian T-shirts. For free credit cards on campus. Get him another one. Yeah, the squeezers. That's the best. The squeezers. Damn, see them all get decimated. We catch up.

That's chaos. That was also a low point for me, too. Like, sitting in that cafeteria, looking at the squeezers, being like, I was at West Point. West Point's cafeteria looks like Hogwarts. It's fucking incredible. Now I'm in this, like, with office lighting. Squeezers.

In Westchester. It's hard to beat. Oh, my God. Sorry to say it, retard. I take that back. I apologize. Sure, I know what you mean, though. But it's, you know, that is the reality check.

It was, like, Jesus Christ. They got, like, 2.9 GPAs. Yeah, they've been doing just as well as me. Oh, my God. Yeah, what classes were they taking? Fucking math? Got to be. Some kind of metal shop in art.

They probably get math? They probably get some math going. Some kind of metal shop. Yeah, they get the math. Social studies fired up. Yeah. What else is going on? How are you guys?

Pretty good. What's going on? What's up with Stuff Island, dude? Stuff Island. You guys are ready to go to Italy soon, huh? Yeah. If you guys can get us 200 patrons in a week. Yeah.

So this is what I want. I want them to hit this milestone. That would fucking rule. So they have to go to Italy. Yeah. Yeah. Because I want nothing more than these two to have to go to fucking... It's a vacation.

To go right now, it would cost, like, 50 shots. They're going to lose a lot of money. They're going to lose a lot of money on this, which I'm excited about. Yeah, probably. Let's go. Money's nothing. It's everything. And it'll be on my head.

We'll be in deep trouble. You're going to scoop into the coffers. You're going to scoop into the coffers. Yeah. In Italy trip, the flight will be probably about, what, like 800? Two grand? A grand each. Yeah.

Oh yeah, I guess back and forth. Two Gs. On, like, four days notice. You guys have to do it. We'd have to lock it in. At the height of the Italian Grand Prix. We'd have to lock it in. Oh, 10 days.

Oh, and you have to go the Formula One. That's going to be a lot of money. That's a $5,000. It'll just be us, like, peeking through from a mile away. Why not just go and then film it and be like, hey, and then just hope it works? Yeah. Maybe we'll get more patrons that way than we did it anyway, you guys. Yeah, yeah, despite.

Fuck those 200 patrons. Yeah, maybe that's what we should have done. Tickets were cheap. Tickets were cheap when we looked it up two months ago. But how fast are you going to do it when you hit that number? Really? I mean, you have to. If we get it in 10 days.

10 days to be next day. It needs to be that night. Oh, it is September 9th. Yes. It's the 9th through the 11th. Oh, no, 11th is when the Beatles game. Yeah. September 11th is the race.

OK, the Grand Prix September 9. So you're going to miss NFL week one, too. Now, I'll be watching out there at the race. You have to go with a fucking beer helmet. That'll be good content. That was Italy. Motherfucking Jalen Hurts in Italy. Where's where's the race?

Milan, 30 city. Oh, that's a dirty walk. Do you think so? Yeah. There are a little American Hello's in Milan. Get some Unibrow's. Damn. I've got my mustache out there.

I'll make my Unibrow dance for you. There were some other girls. Oh, OK. No. I was like, I'm not a fan. That's all right. Talk about the girls. It would be crazy.

There's Frida Kahlo's over there. Dude, pussy to asshole. No, they're probably do eyebrows all the way. Belly button. I saw those little fucking dark princesses buffering. I haven't seen a happy trail on a woman in a while. I saw one 15 years. I saw one recently.

And it had a little strip down the spine, too. Like the like the fuzzies you get as a hairy teenager. But she was 28. And where did you see this? What? Can we talk about it afterwards? Where did you see it? I'll tell you.

You fuck this lady. This hairy thing. Were you looking at Playboys? No, they still make me like that. The lowest price right now is $583. Round trip. Round trip. Nothing.

To Milan. To Kitch and Coop. JFK to Milan. Non-stop. 583. All right. That's not bad. Then it jumps to a thousand.

The next flights. What time are you leaving? Like that's a red eye. No. That's pretty good. That'd be great. That'd be perfect. And we can actually sleep.

Not bad. You guys got to go. I think we should go. Just go to Italy. Milan. Go to Italy for four days. Please just sign up for the page anyway. Yeah, yeah.

No, things are good, man. Things are good. The tickets to the Grand Prix are $3,000. You said we could get in that document or anything. Oh yeah, Chris. You got some hookups. Maybe. What are their names?

Maybe. Exactly. Maybe. Burn your bridge. Call me up. Hey, Peter's is going to have you on the road. What if the debate's starting that? The debate.

The debate. No, we need the debate. The day before, I think. Is it really? And you flee the country? I think so. But it's not a debate, by the way. I don't know.

Just move the date. What do you think you guys are going to talk about? I don't know. He's just going to hammer me with questions. Dude, it's like a deposition. How did he, how does he even know who you are? I don't know. The internet, dude.

I assume you saw me on Matt and Shane's podcast or someone saw, and like they were giving me the business and they were like, this is a good chance. Someone might have fed. Someone might have fed with us. Yeah, I would imagine somebody fed him like, hey, there's a top Democrat thing. I mean. Oh, my God. I can't wait.

Yeah. To get a corner, get a bunch of people that are fact-checking on the ground while you're being... He's going to call me a child of the lie. Is he? Yeah. That's what they call... Call my child of the...

Call my child of the... Children of the lie. Child of the... Well, then you want to fuck me, right? Fucking weirdo. That's good. You're going to hit him with molestation charges. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just going to sit here like this. Allegedly. Allegedly. Obviously, there is one documentary. I never heard of this person. While I was taking the dump, then I was done taking the dump and stopped. But yeah, again, we're all... We're all fucking around.

They do do that to powerful black men. What's his name? They hit him with those types of allegations a lot. Jesse Lee Peterson. People are alleging. Let's be clear for the record. People are alleging that he's indeed gay, although he's been pretty active against... You can be gay, but if you fuck my boy over, I'll beat your ass.

But he's saying... Yes. But he's... He's out for blood, though. He would fucking one punch you, dude. Yeah, he's out for blood. Well, the original... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But people are saying that he's a sexual predator against young men. Yeah, yeah. People are saying that. Let's... That's been said. I heard a lot in a 30-minute YouTube video. Yeah. That story told me upstairs.

Well, we can't talk about it, but... That was fucked up. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ. I know. I just thought of it. Redacted. Got that.

Where are we at? Time-watch on. Let's do some ads real quick. Oh, yeah. We got some big ads today, dude. This was a huge, huge fucking guess. Show that fucking pipe, dude. It's unbelievable.

Dude. Yo, dude. That's my fucking tiny penis. That's a problem with white. You can see all the nutty penis. True. You can see all... Oh, dude.

I'm so pleased. Thank you, Hamilton Devices, for sponsoring the shows. Innovators and Vape Tech. Man, talk about what they sent you. First of all, this is what... I'm sorry. That's got like an extension cable. Check this out.

This is one of the things they sent us. Like, did you work at Google or Keycard? Yeah. So the camera can see it. Oh, so this is... Let me tell you how good this product is. You got to move the mic a little. So this is like high stealth.

So if you're like somewhere where you're like an IT guy and you're carrying around weird equipment, you could attach your vape to it, bring it to your face when your boss isn't looking, and just go... Wow. And be like, what the hell was that smell? And you just put this little thing back up.

You go, nothing. And they never, they never be able to tell. And they can never see this. Or this one, the Sherlock pipe. Move your hand so they can see the pipe. The pipe is sick, dude. That is nice. Interesting point.

Interesting point. Interesting Jesse Lee Peterson. Oh, shit. Dude, you're going to be... It's going to be a good thing. Honestly. It's going to be a good drive home. Hey girls, can't have penises.

Let me see that pipe. Why did you molest a boy? Wow. It's got a cool shark on it. Did you ever see the shark on there? I did. That's Hamilton and Weiss's logo. They also did a thing.

I don't have it with me, sadly. That's nice. Although it makes me... You screw three vape cartridges into one thing. It's called a Starship. I gave it to La Mer. So La Mer put a video. La Mer did a video.

We'll interject a quick video. La Mer hitting the Starship. So guys, I don't even know why they're right. Let me write the fucking copy. So the Starship vape will send you straight to outer space. That's the thing I'm talking about. It's small and discreet like a vape pen, but hits hard like a dab.

And they make a hands-free vape called the Garner. Wear it. Vape it. Charge it all at the same time. No way. They even have vapes that look like old-timey tobacco pipes. That one. Go to HamiltonDevices.com.

Use code DARRENCHED15 for 15% off. Buyers must be 21 or older. Not available in Vermont, Kentucky, Oregon, or Belize. That's HamiltonDevices.com. Use code DARRENCHED15 for 15% off. Belize? Sorry, Belize. No, no.

Yeah. Not here. I don't want them dropping all the waterfalls and stuff. Also, if you guys have been looking for an alternative to smoking, why not switch to a nicotine product that you can feel good about? Check out all that Lucy has to offer at Lucy.co. That's Lucy.co. No, Lucy.co.

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This is made by Lucy, too? No. HamiltonDevices.com. Aren't you listening? That's HamiltonDevices, dude. No way. They only get one. Be a Lucy for the choose for nicotine stuff.

Yeah. Guys, but then when you're vaping, you've had all the nicotine. You get your fill of nicotine and vapes. You need to look at a hot babe on a magnetic poster. Oh, that'd be so sick to look at. Guys, Displate is a one-of-a-kind metal poster. It takes 20 seconds to install. Dude, just install it.

Dude, it takes 20 seconds. 20 fucking seconds. Your poster comes with a magnetic sticker. Those are yours? You got Displate. Oh, look at that. Let me see that. Oh, hold that up.

We're actually supposed to have that in the shop. Got a cow and a pig. I'm going to put them in there for a look at this. Yeah. So if you're a Displate... Oh, you're going to... Okay, there we go. Wow.

Yeah, guys, bring that Displate up, guys. So you could try to hang it through a frame or whatever into the wall, but or you just glue a magnet. Looks like somebody we know. Look at that. What did you say? It looks like somebody we know. You could...

Look at that. You can just hang it through your wall with magnets. You can hang this in your kitchen. No power tools, no wall damage. You can easily switch it out for a new poster too. They have millions of designs available and officially licensed designs from Star Wars, Netflix, Call of Duty and more. Check the link in our description to see some of our favorites

and get your own Sex and Lady. Tommy is just a dad. Like somebody gave him a free thing. He's like, look at that thing. It's pretty nice. Oh, it shows you how to cut a meat. Did you know about that kind of meat? I never even heard of that.

I think this is very interesting, to be honest. Click... Save 25% if you buy one or two. I didn't know the briskiness. 29% off when you buy three or more displays. I didn't know that. The discount will be automatically applied to your cart when you click our link.

Use code Drenched when you visit Displate.com to get the discount. That's Displate.com code Drenched or to click the link in our show notes so you can have your very own steak diagram. I have one of chickens. It's pretty good. It's thighs, wings.

I like thighs. Breasts. Damn. Man, what a slog. There's three ass, man. That was a great job. We're a hakamadi. We might have to raise the raise, bro.

Two, man. Let's do this all in one. How about that? Yeah. We should have did with it. Breasts just doubled. Actually, we work exclusively for Hamilton devices. Yeah.

That thing is wild. Have you hit that a lot before? No, on the way up. You don't know how strong this thing is? Oh, this. I know the vape. These are my vape cartridges. They fucking get you.

This is souls and blood, dude. You hit too many of these. It's blood and souls. It's time to write a letter to your sister. Did you drive up? Yeah. Hi. It doesn't matter, right?

Yeah. No, I'll sober up. I sober up very quickly, though. Like as soon as I get into my car. Yeah, I get it. Good to go. That's what I do. Guardian, you hitting that Sherlock?

Yeah. Nice. How do you feel? You tripping, man. So what else is going on, guys? What's going on? What's like, you know, I got a big week coming up. I didn't know I was booked in Chicago.

What? I am in at the Chicago improv this weekend and then go to Austin. You thought you had a week off? Yeah. Then I go to Austin for a couple of days and I fly up to Columbus, dude, for Notre Dame. Oh, yeah. Notre Dame Mahal State. Oh, the opener.

Yes. And then a week later, I go to Vegas for DS. Can't wait. That's awesome. Can't wait. There's high potential for negative, you know, both my teams are pretty big underdogs. Yeah, they can just pull it out one of Tony. This is crazy.

This is the first time in my life I would take Notre Dame losing and Nate winning. Yeah. Nate winning would be the coolest thing in the fucking world. Of course. Yeah, that would be. It's going to be. And watching fucking watching that Edwards fight gives me hope. Dude.

I know Hamza is going to wrestle and fight. He probably has more power. I don't know. Are you sitting behind Joe again? Yeah. That's so funny, bro. I'm telling you, first of all, the fact that he's doing it is admirable. Win or lose.

Fucking best. It's unbelievable. But if he fuck, I'd be so happy if you win. He's taken down greats before. I bet he's going to be like you in Chicago. He's probably like, oh, shit, I didn't know how to fight this week. Let's get fucking. Dude, he's done damage to greats.

Yeah. So I don't know, man. Have you spoken to him at all? Is he training extra hard? No, I haven't spoken to him. I've talked to his friends. Those dudes, they're never not training. Yeah.

That's how he was able to take the McGregor fight on 11 days notice. He was just like, I'm just training all the time. Yeah. He's doing triathlons and always. Holy shit. He's doing jujitsu, dude. It's like, when you do that three days a week, you're like an Olympic athlete. Yeah.

Like the caloric output. Yeah. Those jujitsu and triathlons all. That's crazy. Triathlon shit is like that's fucking crazy. I jogged a mile today and I was like, that's decent. I didn't take a break through the mile. I was like, wow, pretty good.

That's really good. How long? How long? 10-minute mile? 10-minute mile? That's fucking great. Call me the Kenyan. That's pretty fucking good.

10-minute miles. That's nothing I'll fucking sneeze at. That's fucking bird in the sidewalk. You can fight. You're on 11 days notice, dude. You're in shape. You're in fighting shape. I had to fuel up today.

I got out of my car. I was wearing this so I didn't forget it. So I wore it out of my house. I went to fuel up. I was like, I've been Kensington. You wore that on a job? I was driving. No, no, no.

I probably got like a nine-minute mile. Dude, I got out of my car. I got out of my car and I specifically was looking for a gas station that I could use Apple Pigs. I forgot my wallet. So I wonder what. So I get out. I forgot my wallet.

Literally, I was like, don't do that shit. So I get out. And there's like a guy. He's like, if I had to guess what he was like a homeless cracker. I don't know if the guy, I think he probably smoked crack. Didn't have a house. Sit outside the gas station on a pipe. He was asking people for money.

I was like, I'm going to pop out, pay with my phone at the pump, have my vape on my lanyard and I'd like send a text on my watch. I'm like this. And like he looked at me. It was astronaut. Dude, I'm telling you, I think this guy probably thinks I'm from the future. That was future shit. He didn't ask me.

And he asked the next guy. I said, can I get a dollar? He looked at me and went like, I don't even know. What is that? What the fuck is going on? It's hologram. It's in my fucking way. It's a hologram.

Just beep onto the thing with my phone. Had my lanyard. He's like, dad made smoke. This thing produces smoke. And then fucking boom. This guy is a jessit. Dude, I cannot do the dictation thing at all. Really?

Yeah. It never works. Yeah. That's the point. I send someone an incoherent long message that you talk and they have to go. Just throw them off the trail for a while. You just send someone an explanation of why you're late. You're just like, just random words.

I can't slow down. But it finally happened. He finally broke. This is it. You're supposed to be here today. You sent me a paragraph. I got to use your potty. Yeah, yeah.

Let's do it. Let's switch over to the Patreon. Guys, join the Patreon. Listen to the rest of the conversation. These guys are going to be high. That'll be fun. Yeah, true. Did you smoke?

No.