Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 409 - Everything is Sweet

Episode Date: September 17, 2022

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch shanemgillis.com YO. Saturday ep. Sneak attack. In the Kahuna's humble abode, with a special secret correspondent. Apolgies for the delay. Please enjoy.  Support the show and get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code DRENCHED at https:// Manscaped.com  Support the show and get 20% off with the code DRENCHED at https://Lucy.co Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code DRENCHED. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA).   21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms.   Support the show by going to https://www.HamiltonDevices.com and use code DRENCHED15 for 15% off   Support the show and get 15% off your first Raycon order at https://BuyRaycon.com/DRENCHED

Oh, just got back from the Rocky Mountains, performing out there. What was the elevation when you're performing? The elevation sucks. Were you were you concerned about the elevation? You know, I was dying. Dude, you could have passed out. The elevation was brutal. You could have fucking passed out.

I couldn't tell if it was because I was extremely nervous or not. But as soon as I got on stage, my mouth was like. Yeah, I was like, oh, fucking Navy Seals. Oh, God, I'd be so scared. I would blame it all on me. I would demand a hyperbaric chamber to perform from some sort of suit. Dude, you wake up every day. Your skin's totally dry.

Your mouth's totally. I mean, that also could be a hangover. But it also 30 beers. Night number one was rough, dude. It was party time. I was coming from Vegas. That was a rough trip from Vegas. It was actually a fucking incredible trip, dude.

The fight. Yeah, it was incredible. Yeah, it's awesome. Took a private jet with St. Rogues, PJs, me and Lex Friedman and Joe Rogan on private jet. The PJs. It's crazy. How was it?

It was wild, dude. I just sat there and those two were chatting. Lex Friedman and him were talking about I don't know what the fuck. There's a state of things. Stuff. What do you say? Stuff. We say, yeah, I was just like, I can't wait for this fight.

And they were like, we forgot you were here. Yeah, dude, that's fucking sick. Yeah, I've never been on a private jet. Those things are pretty scary, dude. Those things, you know, like big ass planes. You hit turbulence. You think it's bad. Those little guys hit turbulence.

You're literally like, I was trying to imagine it. I was on a smaller flight, like a smaller commercial flight. And I was trying to imagine if no one else was on it to get a feel. I'm like, dude, there must be so much space. It is. I mean, you can just walk around, but it's also the turbulence is scary. Yeah, dude. And then, you know, Rogues is like a hard ass. So he's like, you like that?

You're a little nervous. It's like, yes, dude. This is also flying with Rogues is scary. Why do the CIA is about true, dude? The body count is real. Yeah, just a little bomb on this private jet. Yeah, they kill everybody. Private jet crashes.

I was just going to say they crash the most, especially with Lex Friedman. Yeah, dude. Damn. That was a highly crashable PGA. Yeah. Trump, Trump probably was like, no, Shane's on there. True. Leave them. Leave them. Don't deep state. But yeah, that was crazy. The whole thing was crazy.

Comes out might be the biggest fucking dildo of all time. What happened? He just, I don't know. He's awesome. Sure. Comes out to my of his awesome. It's good. But and he's so good. Like his rest. That was terrifying. Watching him rest. I told you, it was like two cats.

Dude, when you were that close and watching those dudes like flip and roll around. When you sent me that, it was the perfect description. Yeah, it looks like a cat killing an animal. It is locked up. Grabbed his neck and was rolling with him and shit. And then finally he was like, the guy would try to get off and he's somehow great. It was gross. Well, that's that Russian Sambo, bro.

Yeah, it really is superior to BJJ. What is it? Russian Sambo, it's superior. I just the tweet you sent me, they had that with the caption. Yeah, it's like, well, it's superior to BJJ. I saw it. I was McKeevy's got blitzed for for the BJJ. That made me laugh so fucking hard to get attacked for saying something about BJJ. Dude, that's that will criticize Jitsu. I'm telling you, there's people's jits.

They say you can't like, like white guys don't have the red word. It's like BJJ is a close one to get guys fired off, dude. If somebody's BJJ is bullshit, you'll get most white guys. I mean, like, what the fuck would you say about Jits? My Jits is strong right now. I can't. I think that. Yeah, you can't call white guys white trash. There is one. What's the one? Wait, oh, you say wait, which one?

For white people, white privilege. That's one that will provide white guys up. And you also Jits is a quick one. Yes, one of the offshoots. Just being like, Jits is fucking gay. Eight out of ten white guys. Oh, fucking break your arm right down. Like, all right, that's gay as shit, dude.

You can break my arm. That's fucking gay. But when you see it in person, when you see those dudes rolling around, it's truly terrifying. As soon as comes out, come shot, fucking grab them. It's come shot, grab them. It was so scary. He's sort of fucking twisted.

But he also missed weight by like eight pounds. And everyone was like, this guy's a fucking asshole. Why do you do that? But there's a part of me that like I see him. He you can tell he wants to be like liked. Yeah, he seems like he really wants to be liked. But he's trying to be the heel. So he like comes out.

He's like, you know, I don't fuck you guys. And everyone booze him. He's like, really? Yeah. Why did you miss all that? Wait, how do you do that, though? I think his I think his. Trainer, the guy who was making him cut weight was like, you got to stop, like doctors were like, you need to stop.

OK, they might have like a different calorie system in fucking news. Bacoban in fucking. And he's a block of. His block of cranium where he's from and his block of cranium. They might have. They might have messed up the math on calories. And they're like, oh, we gave him four goats.

We should have gave him two. Yeah. He's not. He's Swedish now. He changed and I'm teasing. Don't tease them, dude. Please don't tease. I don't want him to fucking seek me out

and twist my shit. Who make me say uncle? How fast do you think he make you say, uncle? The scariest dude ever. The way he came out and sprinted on to the stage and I was like, holy shit. He just ran out. Yeah, he ran out from behind the curtain and was like, yeah.

I'm fat for this fight to big. But everybody I crash everyone and saw a lounge. Let me see if he was just that strong. He tried to cut weight, but he just kept gaining muscle. He just was kind of is. He's like, God, weird, too. He's like, long. Yeah.

Yeah, he's he's going to be a problem. I'm going to be a real man. I'll notice, dude. Yo, don't fuck. Get ready, Mckiever. You're about to see a lot of the champs about to be boring as fuck. You're about to watch wrestling matches.

You know, you fucking keep BJJ. Although if he was in defense of Russian Sambo, I'd have. I'd be like, yeah, I can see that what he was saying. So Mckiever tweeted tap outs. Tapping out shouldn't end a fight. It should end the round. Yeah. And the Jits community was so pissed.

Dude, I mean, they attacked Mckievy's sweet. I don't know why I know. He's such a sweetheart. It's funny to think of him getting attacked. You would definitely grab swirl. You would definitely swirl. Just being like, I'm talking sports. And people will be like, fuck you, man.

Fuck you. Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know why I giggled. That made me that I saw that and I giggled at my house. I said, that's very funny. Yeah, it was cool. I stayed in Mandalay Bay.

Did you? I saw it, dude. I saw where it went down. What floor were you on? I was on the 37th. It was close. I was towards the top. Really?

He had like a huge penthouse thing. Yeah. Anyway, what do you know about that? Off camera, off camera. Secret top secret guess. Tell me more about the Luxor pyramid you saw. The outlisk. I saw the pyramid.

It was a Bud Light pyramid now. Where? You know that the pyramid right next to where the atrocity took place. They put a Bud Light monument. There's a Bud Light pyramid there now in honor of all the people that are drinking Bud Light. Wait, what? No, there's just a pyramid that's right next to it. That's it's Las Vegas.

So there's a pyramid in the Sphinx, the Sphinx right next to it. Bud Light, sponsored by Bud Light. Now the, yeah, now it's got a big Bud Light sign on it. Did they put up any kind of memorial? No, it's a fucking parking lot. What? Yeah. They're just, it's just an empty park.

Is anyone? I bet they still have concerts there. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. Who do you think before? Who was the next? If I was at a concert there, I'd be like, whole time out of one eye on that fucking window. True.

Who was the next to perform after it all went down? Is that what concert was at? The Country Faster? Yeah, it was a country one. There was someone had to break the ice. Gotta get a wrapper in there. What if it's like, I was supposed to say it's probably like a little dirt or something? You gotta get a little dirty.

A little dirty. Getting there to fire the people up. Maybe it's boozy badass, dude. Boozy would do it. Like, go, hey, fucking shoot down here. That's a good booze. True. Dude, I had a fucking absolutely unsettling experience.

What happened? I went to the gym. So I'm on a screen time challenge right now. Minimal screen time. OK. Try not to use it at all. So I've gone to the gym, no headphones, no music. Oh, that blows.

Dude, but I go to a separate room at the gym. They just built it. So usually it's just me in there by myself and they have a whole set. It's really sick. A whole set up. A girl walked in. I go, fuck, fuck. So I'm like, whatever, no big deal.

We start working out and all I could hear was like those jeans. Thank you, bro. Thank you like Civil War pants on. It's a good look. I've been slimming. Yeah, you're so skinny. I'm a slimming. I'm at the gym.

So all I can hear is my own heavy breathing. You're going to hold those pants up soon. I might. I might be a little mad from somewhere. I'm going to start touching. I'm trying to get skinny enough to touch. That's so skinny. Yeah, dude, I'm fucking.

You're not going to be able to tuck boners. Huh? You better take it easy on those bull testicle pills. Hey, my pop dude, I'm telling you, I'm fucking. You better. That's probably what stretched your trousers. I was stuck to boners. I was straight brick, dude.

Yeah, I'm fucking brick. My woman knows the difference, but go ahead. Really? Oh, she's my woman has. I haven't shown it to her yet, but I'm going to tell her about it. You're like the reason I'm so bricked up. I was getting a hard testicle pills. I was getting a hard as hell.

Dude, I was I was coming out like hairy ears or something. I was cuddling her last. She said, thanks for cuddling me last night. I was like, I was trying to roll my boner on you. But yeah, but yeah, no problem anytime. But you're at the gym. I'm at the gym. Dead silent workout.

Dead silent. All I hear is my breathing. No problem. Yeah. Then a girl enters. Thank God she had headphones. But all I could hear was me like then she'd be like, dude, it was the audio track of us having sex, basically.

That's pretty awesome that only I was listening to. And she was listening to like, you know, whatever music. She was like Katy Perry or whatever. But I was sitting there. Dude, how did you feel? I felt kind of like I was like invasive. I was so happy she had headphones. But the whole time I'd just be like, and I hear like, yeah.

It was just like right in my fucking ears. It was a small space. It's pretty sweet. 30 minutes. It was pretty raw. I told Brittany about it. Yeah. I'm on total absolute honesty.

Complete honesty. But like Brittany had like a lightly sexual experience with the stranger. You probably should stop doing that. No, I have to tell her. You should definitely not tell her. Brittany, I had a lightly sexual experience. If my girlfriend told me every sexual, slight sexual thing,

I'd be fuming. You have to confess to them. I get the bull test going, run. I might headbutt through a door. I go through a door and chase her. You say, Brittany, I have to tell you this right now. I was in the shower. And I was tempted to think about strangers

while I was masturbating, but I ultimately decided upon you. Yeah. All right, complete honesty. Tell her everything. Yeah, total honesty. Dude, I'm telling you, I've completely just started. It's jokes. But no, I'm telling you, I made an assault covenant

with myself last night. No more porn forever. Forever. Forever. I don't want to ever want to watch it ever again. And it's not like I'm not like spazzing about it. It was just a porn sweet, dude. I mean, it's attractive for sure.

Porn sweet as hell. I don't think it's sweet. I've been watching it all the time. Hold on. All right, dude, you think porn sweet. Hear me out. Hold on. This isn't the fucking answer.

No, the porn is sweet. Porn is sweet. I don't think it's sweet. If you hold off for a while and you're like, oh, yeah, I haven't whacked off in a while. You toss on some pornography. Yeah. Porn is sweet.

Sure. I mean, again, it's just dude. That's like percussettes or something. That's something like perks are sweet. Like it's attractive. I've never done them. I bet they're sweet. Perks are sweet.

All this shit is sweet. Oh, perks sweet. Perks are definitely sweet as hell. What are you talking about, dude? Perks are not sweet. I've never done a perk, but I guarantee they're sweet as shit. I'm saying the N-road. Every drug I've done ever has been sweet as hell, dude.

There's never been a time I didn't get fucked up that I wasn't like that was fucking not sweet. Percussettes. Percussettes are sweet. Cocaine's sweet as shit while you're doing it. You think so? After we're just not sweet. I'm not thinking about N-road.

No. So my, here's, here's. Poinography is sweet while you're doing it. Yeah, but here's. Maybe when you're done, as soon as you crumb and you see what you're watching, it chills. So say, this is a fair point, and I do say that. Now, say you walked up and you found your dad's phone

open with a porn he was watching. How fucking sweet is that? I'd literally walk over to him and go. You're going that to his butt. So what the hell are you, like sun, fat, sun stuck? Dad plows fat, obnoxious son in his throat. Just a dude pausing the game for ball highlights. Oh shit.

I'm stuck in the recliner. Come here, son. If you found out your dad was whacking off to you. You told me that sweet. Your dad whacking off to you being stuck. Or, or like some weird chem sex. When you come home, you've had too many bun lights. My dad would rape me if my dad was date raping me.

Well, it doesn't count. It's a porno. So it doesn't count. They do those all the time. Or like you were rolling. Do you ever get in those porno holes? Like couples were on ecstasy. No, that's sweet, though.

Pretty sick. That sounds sweet as hell. It's pretty tight. But it sucks. It's like all that it's always lit under like weird black lights because you're like, they're like, is this legit? And you see the lighting set up? You're like, probably.

Yeah, probably. I'll tell you what I, speaking of breathing, I ran into some trouble because I was trying to hide my vicious cold sore from everybody I was talking to. Not bad, by the way. You can see it now. It was pretty invisible the whole time. I did a good job of attacking it.

What did you use the ice and a breather? And then someone told me to buy these lysine. That's the other thing about the lysine. But it didn't crack or blister. It wasn't bad. But also, every time I was talking to someone close, I was like, I can't breathe out of my nose. I was literally, I'm a Tony Soprano for a week.

Like people would be sitting next to me be like, are you all right? Be like, yeah, why? Because you're breathing like really, you're like mad. People thought I was mad for a week, just. It's probably the fucking bulldassies, too. But yes, Vegas is sweet. Vegas is pretty sweet. I didn't know Vegas was sweet.

I thought Vegas would be hell. You've never been? No, it was the first time I've ever been in Los Angeles. Well, also, you're the only Vegas experience. True, I was in the, yes. It's usually just like seven dudes who like spent way too much money being like, oh, I need to get out of here. Yes, it was.

I did get lucky with how I was there. But it is fun. I went there a long time ago when I was like a very young man. That might be aggressive. Bro, I had, I went out there with like literally zero money. My cousin flew like paid for my plane ticket. I went out there with a credit card. And I did have a blast.

But I remember being like, that's too much fun. Yes. I had to get home. I was like, I don't know how someone could do a week out there. I'd die. No, it was, it was, I went and saw, one of the nights I went off and saw Barghatsi was there. Nice.

Went and watched his new hour. So good. Nice. Maybe Barghatsi might be. He's funny. He might be number one. Well, that was a dude I heard about forever and I never watched his clips. And I, after, actually, we saw him in the tour bus.

I was like, I gotta see what this guy's all about. Dude, I was like, hilarious. He's, yeah, he's unreal. And then, yeah, any time it was St. Rogues, you just go out and eat steaks every night. Tomahawk. Yeah, huge, massive amounts of steak. Fuck.

It's pretty sick. Is he full car? Is he carnivore diet? Is he keto? He switches on and off. Does he? Yeah. Yeah.

Let's talk a Rogues diet. I'll talk a Rogues diet. I wouldn't know. I just want to do whatever he does because I feel like he's got the inside. Whenever I hang out with those guys, it makes me want to do what they do. Like just eat steak. Yeah, I feel, I mean, I feel like he's got the inside. Then they work out.

I would just be eating steak and just laying back down. It's an oil tycoon. You mean oil tycoon? Just taking milk and just lay down. True. But yeah, dude, that was pretty much it. I had that sexual experience. What else happened in Vegas?

It did stay in Vegas. I mean, obviously it stays in Vegas. What happens there does stay there. True. I don't know. I tried to gamble. My bank wouldn't allow me. I was like, I want to put $10,000 on Nate, which it would have.

It was going to hit. I knew it was going to hit. I only put like 400 bucks, real fucking barmer. Still won. I know, I was, I was like, I'm in Vegas. Let's go crazy. What'd you do with the gambling winnings? It's just on a card.

I have. That stinks. Yeah, but I'm going back for Skankfest. Oh, yeah. You don't lose 10,000 bucks on red. No, I don't have 10,000. I do $800. I have a card that I'm going to go into the sports book and put it on.

Then Notre Dame lost a fucking Marshall. Marshall. Marshall, dude, the thundering herd came in to set. No name sucks. What the fuck? No name fucking sucks, dude. How the hell they lose the Marshall? I don't know.

That put it at that news while in Vegas. Yeah, I was watching the game in Vegas. Well, like, what's the what's the half life for you of like a Notre Dame loss? Like biologically, thankfully, there was the Nate Diaz fight that night. So I was like, all right, you talk it. I didn't even have time to process it. I had to go straight to the fight. But during the fight, a lot of people were like Marshall.

They were just that's what I mean. It's supposed to be fun. It's kind of a microaggression, honestly, for sure. It's pretty fucked up. So now Notre Dame plays Cal this weekend tomorrow. How are you feeling about it? Not great. They kind of stink.

I think they're going to win back. I'm back and they they might win out. I mean, coming off a loss like Marshall, dude, that's they better be hungry. They're wearing green jerseys this weekend. Are you excited? Yeah, dude. What's going on with the royal family? Any news?

Can you talk about Charlie Boy? Yeah, what happened there? Yeah, yeah, you can call himself whatever he wants. He's a king, fat finger king. What happened with the fat finger king and the pita philia pedophile? Him and Lord Mount Batman pedophiles. They got Jimmy Saville in there. The Queen protected him.

Yeah, but the guy, the Queen covered up the Epstein story originally. Really? Yeah. Is that who got it sealed? Well, when the media, they could have broke it and the chick got hot mites. Project Veritas, hot mites that one chick. She spilled the beans. Yeah, she was like the royal family lean daughter told her to shut it down. Well, yeah, they threatened your lives.

Praise Andrew. I didn't say. Yeah, praise Andrew is the number two now. Does it actually affect anything that the Queen died? Because I've heard a lot of people being like, oh, man, it's the worst time for her to die right now. I don't know. It's just so weird. She doesn't do anything.

I thought she was like a Chuck E. Cheese. It is. It's absolutely a Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah, there are people being like, this is not a good time for her to die. Huh? She disappeared a bunch of kids in Canada once. True. Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. What happened?

Just a bunch of it. I think they were Indian kids. Really? Yeah. Yeah. They were under her dominion. Yes. Yeah. Canada is theirs. Oh, yeah, dude, so is Australia. Oh, yeah, it's the Commonwealth.

Yeah, it's fucked up. So yeah, you're saying that the Peter Prince, Andrew, he can come back into the fold now. Well, if Charlie if Charlie Boy goes down and he needs somebody to like be his number two, Prince Andrew's back on the table. I mean, I hear me out. I mean, I think pedophilia is gross and wrong, but I feel like. What would you?

What would you say? I'm going to play? I'm going to stop you. Devil's advocate. What do you say about like only monarchs can do pedophilia? It does seem like it does come with the territory. Yeah, I think they've been doing it for like a thousand years. I think so.

Pretty pretty. I'm pretty sure that's what the king's been up to. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I think that's all you do as a king. You like someone tells you like, do I have any money? They're like, yeah, we have a lot of money. Nice. What's up with the kids? He's a dude.

He's also like you can't pay taxes. All right, bring me your child. True. He's also a psycho with the climate change stuff. Well, Prince Andrew. No, Charlie boy. He was a fucking he was like the original Greta Thunberg. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. How about the Patagonia guy? You see that? No. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Who's Patagonia guy? The guy who owns Patagonia like sold all the shares to fight climate change. What? I think it was like 3.5 Bill. Yeah, actually kind of sweet. It's kind of nice to believe that stuff.

It's nice of them to do. Climate. So you're you think climate change is sweet? What? Do they like the fact that the climate change? Dude, I have no idea. I can't. I'll be honest. Someone asked me like how the world's doing as a whole. I'm going to have to hit him with.

I don't know how that works. Yeah, I don't. I don't fucking know. I have no fucking idea. I don't know how they predict weather. Well, I hear exactly. I hear people go like, well, the world warms up every now and again. I believe that.

And people like, bro, it's not I've never been this warm. I'm like, yeah, I only have maybe four years of actually paying attention to the weather under my belt, collectively. So I don't know. I forget every year. I feel like I literally forget what winter and summer are like. Winters are warmer annually. I remember winters.

I remember getting way more icy blasts. Is it like a blizzard or not? Don't get me started on the blizzard of 93. How nice was that? Bro, the blizzard of 93 was probably my favorite blizzard. That's so sweet. Dude, ice blizzard, dude. I remember walking up a hill.

Actually, I fell and hit my head really hard. But yeah, I don't know. It was a drift against our house. That was like as tall as our fucking second story. Fuck, dude. It was so exciting. Fuck. Yeah. I was very excited as a young man. Yeah, the blizzard and I was I remember walking alone

through it, being like, does it get any better than this? No, once once you stop going to school, though, snow fucking sucks. Yeah. Actually, while it's snowing, it is sweet. Yeah, a little snow day. You lock yourself in. It's kind of nice.

But then I use that as an excuse. I'm like, all right, can't do anything. Let's just start drinking. I fucked up blackout. And six p.m. you wake up. It's can't leave the house. Weird, slushy. In a scream fight with your girlfriend in a blizzard.

Yeah, I fucked up. I got my first snowstorm last year with Maya and I like brought her out to a full sledding experience, not knowing that like one and a half year olds get cold quick. And dude, I like I kept her out. I would have never done that. I didn't know that. Bernie's like, I'm like, dude, they'll be fine.

If I'm fine, she's fine. We like, dude, I'm sure like baby like bullshit winter gear. So like we were out sledding and she came back in and like, dude, she her like palms are like she was red. She hit the bathtub and she was so cold, the hot water hurt her. Oh, yeah, I fucked up. That was my bad. I fucked up. I'll tell you, I'll tell you on that.

So I'm still working on that. People are like, what's your take on climate change? I'm like, bro, I don't know. Figuring out babies, working babies, body temperatures. Dude, I'm I can't go for the planet. The who would have known. But yeah, I mean, could people use that for a nasty agenda? Maybe, I don't know.

Who knows. But it's like, I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know, dude. All I know is I'm trying to get fucking ripped right now and take all my supplements. Yeah, we keep getting sponsors, some of the supplements, dude. It's pretty fun. I'm whacked out right now. I told you, I had a fucking panic attack, dude. Oh, yeah. Tell me you hit the wall, the wall.

Yeah. I thought it was just me, that you can't combine the micros and the weed. Bro, I did it one time at a dance and I had to fucking run off the dance floor. Mid dance floor, I froze. I was like, I get like this. It was like a wave of just like it's like a you know, they say like smoking DMT is like all of a sudden

you're tripping in two seconds. Yeah. That's what my shit was. I get like it's like a pulse of a you're instantly in a panic attack in four seconds. And it just goes home and comes over you in one moment. Dude, I got hit with those. Literally, we're talking. I'm like, all right, I'm feeling kind of weird.

I'm taking all all these. I'm not just munching supplements and you're supposed to be certain kind of like you can stack them with micro dosing. I have a micro dosing forever. I'm like, I'll throw that back in the ring, munching a micro dose, munching the subs. And I start I have a fucking keg of weed juice in my office.

So I'm fucking like pounding that stuff. God damn, just chugging that. Because I want to do I kept being like, maybe I transcend it, my anxiety. I was like, I might be over it. Maybe I fucking move past it. Maybe I no longer fear things. Maybe I might be to post it.

Like I'm talking about for my body. I'd get these crazy body. Oh, but still, I think I have figured out weed anxiety where I'm like, OK, this is this. And I can champ it. I've been chanted. I believe you can change. I have. And I'm again, I'm sure if I start up in the ante on it, it'll get me again.

But when you mix like a little bit of mushrooms and weed, dude, it gives you like it for me. It's a different body feeling. So we're sitting there chatting. We're talking. I'm like bullshitting about like being at a Cold Play concert in 2021. So I'm like, everything's good. Everything's fine.

So we go to start and like, all right, let's start for real. Dude, and I literally go to start and I just go. Like Sid asked me a question. I just went, oh, oh, sweet pulse for a second. And just had to go. Oh, holy shit. Over, dude, I was fucking having a complete panic attack. Nice. And it's like.

What was it about? Do you recall? It was just physical sensations. It was just physical. So I got the like, I know the physical sensation of being high from weed and I can champ that the physical sensation of like because it's like you get a physical physical sensation from weed and you go, oh, man, what if this gets worse? That's where it all comes from.

This might just be the beginning. That's how I was. But I at that fucking concert. I took a lot of mushrooms. Did you? I ate a good amount. Really? And like when it was starting to peak, I was like, oh, I hope this stops. That's what I'm saying.

I really hope this stops because I'm fucking like. So and it did stop and I had a wonderful, wonderful experience. See that. And it always does. And then it went back down. I was like, I need to keep eating more mushrooms. You need to go. You need to keep going. I had the problem with me is the mushy is alone. Fine weed alone. Fine.

When I combine those two, dude, it spins every single time. I'm sure I get this body wave from mushrooms. And I'm like in my head, I'm like, this might go super far. Yeah. And then I'm like, and then it's like lights, Cameron, I was like, giving a hot take on race. We're starting out with a hot take on race. And I was like, he was like, what was that thing you were saying about like uncomfortable bringing minorities into like households in the 90s?

And I was like, oh, I've hit the wall. Complete. And then this came up and, you know, yeah, I've hit the wall. I've hit the alcohol wall on several podcasts. And it's the worst feeling in the world. I had a dude at the airport yesterday. It was like, saw you on the barstool case race, dude. What's up? I was like, don't ever bring that up. You know, I hit the fucking wall.

I hit the wall so hard. You were a nice watch. Oh, yeah. I was pure nice. Watch that was I was on the wall there. In alcohol is a weird. That's a crazy wall. The wall on Kiltoni again. Did you keep doing Kiltoni after Rogan? Yeah, we drink a lot on Rogan and then go to Kiltoni and I'm a blitter.

And any time I'm hammering on podcasts, I just scream the whole fucking time. He's gay. Which I think is fun. I think it's fun. Well, it's funny to be a critic. I have a fun time. It is funny to be a critic. To be a redditor.

I didn't like a redditor. Redditor. A comment or who was at your coinage? Yeah, the redditors. Yeah, the redditors. Yeah, but it's like an intelligentsia that is reddit. It is the true intelligentsia of a redditor. But it's also to be like that guy got too drunk on that podcast.

There are some dudes that are too drunk for comedy shows that show the comedy shows like, yeah, fucking sorry, I fucking. Oh, man. Oh, man. Getting hammered on it, going on and doing stand up. Getting rude to show. Yeah, doing being hammered and doing. I mean, Kiltoni seems like a show that could handle being pretty drunk for that.

Yeah, there's like seven, six dudes on there. Seems like you got a chill on the way. No, that's the problem. You have too many cold ones. Now you're you're front and center. You're not going to chill on the way. You're going to scream the entire time. No, hold on.

Everybody showed up. Kenny was cutting in the whole show. Dude, I fucking I watched all of season four this this past week. Yeah, I forgot how much I stole his person. So he's like the way you're talking to me right now. Nasty. It's disgusting. I forgot about it. I was watching. I was like, fuck, dude.

Yeah, he's just tell everyone makes season four socks. Never watch it. That sucks. Don't watch season shows. Actually, so fucking good. It was, I think the best. I think it's up there. I thought the Mexico was the worst. And then I rewatched the Mexico.

And I said, I was the funniest. Exactly. But it was the worst out of all of them. All of them were sublime perfection. And then I was like, maybe South Carolina. I'm like, I don't know. Bro, walking on his girlfriend, getting his pussy into the studio in Mexico. I thought you're like a whore with a heart of gold. It's just a whore.

The whore's heart. Yeah, unbelievable, bro. I think that's far and away. The best comedy. I honestly, I think they did it. I think they fully, I think they fully. That's it. That's the gold standard. Stevie. It's unbelievable, bro.

I was watching I was watching the show. I was like, this is fucking crazy. This is the best show of all time. It's it's literally it's the gold standard. It came. So it came and everyone. OK, that's just funny as a thing can get. From start from literally start to fit. There's not a single moment where I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't have done that.

I'm like, that's the funniest. It's crazy. Oh, yeah. That's the funny shit. They say that it's just like the race. He says racist throughout the game. Yeah, just get away with it. It's playing fun stuff. It is fun.

But yes, Denver was sick. Colorado was sick. Yeah. Red Rocks was pretty cool. Mushrooms, it starts when you do nothing. When you do super cool stuff, as I understand, you have slight trepidation of talking about it. Yeah, it's like, yeah, I took a private jet and sat front road. The UFC fight.

That's not funny. Yeah, the Redditors will be like, he's changed. Yeah, maybe I have. Plus, he's but no, the it is the whole point of life to change it. So we did Red Rocks the night before. Yeah. Somebody hit me.

Whoa. We just have podcasts. Whoa, dude, hit the wall. Who me? As long as I don't have the micro. They'll aren't our dude. I'm going 2.3 volts. This is like liquid live resin.

So I want to keep the volts a little lower. OK, that's OK with you. If I were you, I mean, you might want me to blast at four volts, but it's like with live resin. So I should probably blast at a liquid live resin. Yeah, I might burn the card. OK, don't burn it. Don't I'll go up to 3.5 years.

He was up. Yeah, bro. Taking myself back down to. Oh, so. So we did the Red Rocks show. And that's just kidding. Those are your toys. Get your toys.

You got toys, bro. What's this middle one? That's a toy. Oh, this one? Yeah. This is the team, son. That's a double. I'm fucking hitting that.

Take it single. That's a club. I got cold sore. Sorry, guys. That's a good way to get out of drugs. Sorry, I actually have herpes. True. I don't know if we have those.

I don't know. We have before, but I don't know if we do. All right. Well, you do an endorsement for them. Ready, go. Here's some shit Matt left us. I'll tell you what, this pot is great. Good pot from what's the name of that company?

Hamilton Devices. Hamilton Devices. Show them all the toys. This is one of my favorite toys so far. It's almost like a. It pops up. Pops out. I feel like James Bond.

I feel like a sick ass guy. Sick as we did. Speak up, dude. I can't even hear you. I'm sorry. I got the headphones on so I could hear myself clearly. This is a vape you could bring. You could smoke weed out of, smoke pot out of this one.

It's like a necklace. That's the necklace Matt wears like a dunce. You could pull it out and smoke, smoke on it and put it back. Hamilton Devices. Hamilton Devices. And they did a pipe one. You like the pipe. Didn't you get one?

Didn't Matt give you all these? I hope. I don't know. I think we did. I think he did. I think he did. Damn. Well, thanks Hamilton Devices.

Thanks Hamilton Devices. Thanks everyone for listening. Thank you guys. Now back to Matt and Shane's secret podcast. I hope you're enjoying the episode as much as we are making it. We did Red Rocks. It was extremely exciting. I was nervous.

Get down. It felt like you did cocaine. Like you get down. You're like talking to everybody, drinking. Picture freed me out of that. Did I show you that video? I sent it to you guys. I saw it.

Walking out and looking up at that. It's like, holy shit. It's scary. But then the next night, we had to go to see Bert's favorite band, Wilco, which Bert's the fucking best dude. Yeah. So I wasn't going to tell him how bad Wilco fucking stinks. You did the right thing.

If someone brought you to a concert, that would put me in. I would be so mad at someone. It would spin me out. If I brought someone to a concert and they were like, this sucks. This sucks. I'm not having fun. What the fuck?

It was still awesome. We took a fucking party bus. I would very surreptitiously go find security. Like, yo, get this guy out. And I would never tell you because I couldn't face you. I would tell you, but I'd quietly be like, yo, this guy just fucking says something terrible to me. Get rid of him.

I would be so fucked up. Yeah. If you took someone to a concert and they're like, your taste in music sucks. I'd be like, you suck. And you just fucking said. I got you tickets and a ride here. I know.

No, you did the right thing. So I did keep it quiet, but the mushrooms did take over. And I was pretty vocal. What happened? Well, the opening band was on. I was like, this shit, it just happened to be right when the music stopped. I was like, yo, this shit sucks.

Who was the opening band? I don't know. I don't want to. I don't want to be smirking them. But as soon as I said it, this girl turned around that was in front of me and I was like, oh, fuck. She's going to tell me to fuck off. I was like, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. And she was like, no, for real, this shit sucks. That dude turned around and was like, shit sucks. I was like, nice. Everyone's in agreement. That's good. But yeah, it was really funny to take a lot of mushrooms and watch 10,000 dudes dressed like hikers.

Like it was just like, I hate to be the guy that's like, this is white, like white shit. That was the whitest thing I've ever seen in my life. Wilco at Red Rocks, all white dudes. All white dudes in Colorado, too. In Denver, yeah, everyone just standing there going. Yeah. 10,000 dudes.

You look up, they're all going. Yeah, true. It was so fucking crazy. And it like, I didn't even notice it. My girlfriend was like, look around, like look at the people. And as soon as I started looking around, I was like, holy shit, this is the corniest. This is the corniest thing I've ever seen in my life.

But then you'd watch it and I'd get into it. And I'd be like, these guys are good. Yeah, they're good at what they're doing. Yeah, I like Wilco. But it's still gay. Yeah, I think it'd be tough for the boy. I mean, you'd be at an NPR function, basically. Yeah, inadvertently.

That's what it would feel like. And dude, it's just so funny to be on mushrooms and be like, I can't, I'm not with Wilco. You'd think they'd get you. Yeah, you'd think they'd get you. That you'd think there'd be moments, but. No, but that would be the gear. Yeah, everyone dressed exactly the same being like.

That fucks me up. Yeah. So I went and hung out by the bathrooms pretty much the entire time. Just sat there like, whoa, fuck. You might be the funniest dude ever. This is the sit at a Wilco concert on mushrooms, quietly tripping me like, this is gay.

I can't tell my friend. It was so gay. So fucking funny. And I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings. This concert is so fucking. Yeah, you have no idea. If you saw this concert, you'd be like, yeah. No, I can imagine, honestly.

And they again, they were fucking good at it. They were good at playing guitar. It was cool to watch a guy play guitar. Yeah. But then they'd be like, what are they jamming about? Like they're all like, there'd be times where they'd like it almost like Hendrix where they're like. Yeah, they get real weird.

Like a fucking cacophony. It's not like shit. It was like, this sounds like shit. Put it down. And like, what are they? They're all like 50 year old white dudes dressed like hipsters. Yeah. That are like, you know, they are like,

they're like party line Democrats, I bet. Yeah. Like, America sucks. Yeah, that's that's like my whole thing with rappers. When rappers get old, I can't. Well, it's same like, yeah, it's sad. Anything gets kind of shit. You have to just stop, man.

Yeah, Snoop needs to shut the fuck up, dude. Yeah, that's tough rappers. And I guess that would be there's that one guy. The fuck's the one guy? Who was the lead singer from the Red House Painters? The Mark Kozalak, maybe his name was Red House Painters. Yeah, he was a guy. He was in Sun, Kill, Moon was like is of that vein.

I've never heard of that. He freed his name. The guy, this guy. Is this like Wilco stuff? He would have been like Wilco stuff. It's Wilco-ish. What's his name? Kozalak.

But he's the problem is, is within this whole thing, he was too much of a right wing God. He's a right wing God. If they were right wing gods, I would have like, do these guys fucking rules. So, dude, what happened is he's a right wing God. And I think I feel like it's all his songs now about like how much pussy used to be at his.

Not all of them, but like one of his songs is genuinely him complaining about how there used to be pussy at his concerts. That's good. And now it's just the dudes that you're describing. And he's like, what the fuck, dude? I don't want to sing for these guys. Well, that's awesome. But yeah, he came.

I wanted to see. I was thinking about good bands. I would have rather have seen. I was thinking about. I was thinking about how nice it would have been to see. Like, who is it? Buck Cherry. Buck Cherry.

I mean, like back in the day, who sings the song? It's like, hey, crazy, crazy. But I was like, dude, it'd be so nice to be at that concert. Did you ever see Bartley showed me a concert of they did an interview with Buck Cherry? Do you ever see that guy, how he operates? No, dude, they they come out. He's going to be a full pickup artist.

He literally did. On stage comes out and he does like almost like a black preacher thing where he's like, you know what? We want to do is fuck right. I know he's going to have sex for simple creatures. You know, it's the worst shit I've ever heard. Crazy bitch is like a 14 minute sermon he delivers. Dude, they shoot the crowd.

It's a bunch of dudes like piss. But the fuck they get dragged by their fat girlfriends. It is fat girlfriends with fucking tramp stamp. Fat girlfriend with like barbed wire tramp stamp. I wish I remember the video. He did a y'all crazy. It's about your fuck. So good.

I don't tap my back. Can you but our garden? Can you look up a fuck? It's high, high energy, low IQ. That's the best of Buck Cherry's. That's yourself. They're like, we're high energy, low IQ and we come out. Dude, there's a 15 minute video of backstage at a Buck Cherry concert.

It's the most disturbing shit in the world. Fuck. You're cut cut to like 10 minutes in. Just put him, dude, some of his rants while he's live on stage. He's just. Dude, give me that mic. It's the funniest. It's literally the funniest shit ever.

It's only like seven minutes. Well, OK, that might be it, though. I might have doubled it in time. Dude, that's a live crazy bitch. You better shake your hands like a fucking soft chicken. Fifteen minutes. Just make it on stage. Riding around and then you crazy slut.

I'll fuck you. Bitch. While I was there at Wilco, I was like, I wish I was like, that would be more entertaining. That would be more fun to see a fucking dude doing that. It's true. Yeah, although, dude, for some reason, the crowd seemed not pleased. They're like, how could you be pleased?

Because he was like, you fucking whores, you dirty sluts and all there with their girlfriends were like, I don't want to fuck. Oh, yeah, that would be I'd be annoyed, especially with my girlfriend. It's like, yeah, I'd be like, you know, and he's fucking sweating and riding. Although to be fair, I think you're right about that. You we want you want full front man like Lizard Man energy. Yeah, full front man. You paid. You're the front right when God.

Yeah, exactly. Right when God would make me it would please me greatly to see a dude up there like, see what they're doing. These immigrants shipping them up to Martin's Vineyard. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Clapton was right when God got busted. He took it too far. Well, he got recently busted.

He got recently busted. But they happened back in like 1960 or 1970. He came out and was like, England's a white country. Fuck all these Jamaicans. Oh, shit. Came out hammered in the 70s. Like, get him to fuck out of here. Hit the wall, hit the wall, bro.

He hit the wall. He hit the wall. And then he like, they brought it up as soon as he was like, I got bad. Susie was like, I don't know about the facts. Remember what you said about Jamaicans? The facts fucked my finger up and they really went back to the 70s. Like, he's a fucking racist. Yeah, he did hit the wall.

And then after that, he had to do a concert for racism. He's like, guys, I'm so fucking sorry. England's for everybody. Free King and free Prince Andrew. Yeah, it was an extremely nice trip I had, though. Yeah, it was good. Yeah, the party, the party. Dude, what's better than a fucking party bus?

Literally, literally nothing. It's so fun. Literally nothing. Yeah. Last time I was on a party bus, we were smoking a ton of weed on it and there was a guy stopped and was like, yo, I got a bunch of fucking guns on here, dude, we're going hunting too. He's like, bro, we're going hunting.

Oh, he was like, they were going skeet shootings. OK, so it was they were going shooting the guns. But he we went to a bachelor party. Yeah, we went to a toll booth all of it. We're just blazing in a party bus and he was gone to do. What are you, T.I. Went through the door, little easy. We went through the toll.

Crazy. I didn't know he brought a ton of fucking guns. I knew we were going to skeet shoot. I know he's going to bring all of his own fucking weapons. He brought like weapons for us to like AR 15. Crazy business. We're crazy business, right? There's we went through the toll booth and he was like, yo, fucking fuck that lady.

Probably call the cops. We're ready to pull this guy had a bunch of guns and spit out a weed. He's like, they're going to fucking take my guy. He spaz, dude. Oh, she fucking smelled the weed and called the cops. Kind of Rikers, dude. Probably, dude. We had mad gas, dude.

We probably had T.I.'s arsenal. Yeah, we had T.I.'s arsenal. You have taken the fall for your boy for those gas. Yeah, surely. Those are my gats. I'm like, bro, I own one of those shotguns. Those are dope. Those are all mine.

I feel like you're allowed to have a shotgun if you're high. I feel like there's there are shotgun rules like your father can gift you a shotgun. No questions asked. Yeah. So I'd be like, yes, this is my legal right, dude. I'm in a militia. Now we're talking second amendment. Now we're talking pig and walnut.

Now we're talking second. Is that a walnut or a pig? Where did the pig get the walnut? Dude, I'll tell you what, I've been fired up on my rights. I've been, I've been getting political. Yeah. You see me on Twitter yesterday getting political. Yeah.

What were you saying? I enjoyed it. I got fired up yesterday. What'd you say? You know, I've been battling. I've been battling the PA wheat system for a long time. Dude. Yeah.

So get this. PA wheat system obviously is bullshit. Yeah. You have like four corporations that own it all. Somehow they mostly all charge the same exact prices. That's not price fixing. You know, they all charge the same prices. It's fucking, it's bullshit.

So I'm like, whatever, you know, I'm dealing with it. I go in, they're like, hey, you should try this shake, which that's like the bottom of the bag. Yeah. Which isn't bad. It's ground up nugs. No problem. I go, oh, that's pretty nifty.

I'll grab some shake for me and my friends. We'll fucking we'll have that, you know, and I bring it home. I smoke on it. I go, oh, it's harsh as hell. It's harsh. It's harsh nugs. So wait, no, dude. You were like, these aren't dank nugs.

It wasn't dank nugs. These are harsh nugs. It wasn't harsh. It was trim. It's the leaf trim. It's the exactly sugar leaf, bro. LARF, bro. They fucking LARF.

Yeah. They fucking. So they, this is all they, it's all family. So you got LARF. I knew it too. As soon as I, as soon as I hit my throat, I went, hold the fuck up. Yeah. Hold the phone.

This is harsh LARFage. These guys got a problem. They don't even know it. And I had two different brands. Both of it was just fucking trim, dude, Shane riddle me this. It's a medical program. It's a medical marijuana program. Yeah.

And they're selling people who know nothing about weed for cancer. They're selling them literally stuff you throw. It's exact cancer guys. Cancer guys. Trying to eat you. Trying to get an appetite. Yeah. Oh, I don't have enough money.

Let me buy the shake. And there's these fucking motherfuckers working there, dude. They all have pins too on their shit. TGI Friday. Love is love. No, it's like they apparently you have to like put all your political beliefs on your fucking shirt. For some reason.

Love is love. All this bullshit. Meanwhile, it's like, and I told them, so basically the whole story is I smoked it. I know it's trim right away. It hit, touched my lips. I went, hold the fuck up. It's a trim. It's a trim.

Boys, put that down right away. That's food grade. You can't be smoking all food grade. Put that down right now. Yeah. So I, you know, I find out I'm fucking fuming. Go. The next time.

So like yesterday I had to buy some vape cartridges. I'm like, nice. I get to go fucking tell them what time it is in there. Walk in. They have all these like political. You tell them what time it is. There's like party line, dudes. Political pins and shit.

I'm G with it, bro. I walk in. I walk in. I go, yeah, I just need some vape cartridges. I'm looking around. I go, hey, you guys, you guys still got that shake. I'm fishing. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, man. Yeah. And I go, yo, that's just fucking bullshit, dude. He's like, they started their eyes go up and I'm like, they're putting, they're grinding up fucking trim, dude. That's food grade. And you're like, oh, yeah, man. Like, yeah, some of the companies unfortunately do put like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

They started. What are they trying to do? They're telling the science is real. You should have said science is real. Exactly, dude. You guys aren't believing in science right now. This is food grade. So this guy, that's science food.

They have this mode they go into where they act like they're like on the corner. They go, yo, bro, that's just the name of the game. He hits me with that. I said, that's not the name of the fucking game, bro. I was like, that's grimy. You're behind a desk. I'm like, exactly. I'm like, that's grimy, dirty shit.

And I'm like, that's the grimmiest thing possible to sell people shake or sell people trim to smoke it as shake who don't know what anything is. I'm like, that's like really grimy stuff, man. Yeah. You guys shouldn't be doing that. You guys like, you guys shouldn't even be supporting that. That's fucked up. So how do you feel about that?

I felt powerful, dude. I mean, how did he feel about it? The one guy was all my stuff. One guy was like, yo, it's fucked. It's totally fucked. The other guy, not the guy who said name the game. He was like, yeah, dude, these companies do it. The name of the game.

Bro, they act like it's like all of a sudden this dude's Jewel Santana. I'm like, bro, get the fuck out of here, man. You were just at Target four months ago. It's a good call, dude. Jewel's rules. You were just at Target four months ago. Santana. Yeah.

Now they're like, dude, get out of here. Now they're the fucking bird gang. But yeah. So I'm like, yeah, I'm like, and I'm like, I'm not being harsh to them. That's fucked. And that's crazy. Those guys are allowed to do that. I'm like, it's just going to call them crazy bitch.

They're crazy bitches, bro. So then I saw you there like, yeah, dude, the one guy's like, dude, it's totally fucked like it's bullshit. And then, you know, so I go to the back. Now I get to go to the back. What is it? What is this day? What day is this for you? Yesterday. This is yesterday.

Yesterday. This is yesterday. You're doing battle with dudes in a fucking weed shop. I worked all day. I'm in the office. I'm drinking the weed. What did you do? I was dude, I'm working on a top secret program right now. Dude, I'm always up to some bullshit.

No, no, no, I didn't mean to criticize. It's not criticizing at all. I'm not criticizing. Bro, I need people. You need people to keep me in check. I appreciate. I appreciate when my friends keep me in check. Bro, bro, I'm not criticizing.

It's not criticizing. It's critical at all. So you just worked your fucking ass off. I just did. I got fucking clocked in. I'm wiping the sweat off my face. It isn't. I'm clocking out.

You clocked out. I clocked out. Now I'm in the whip. Now it's 2 PM. It's 2 PM. Yeah. I'm working on a book. You just clocked in noon to 2.

I'm writing a book I'll never release for two hours. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, that's hard to do. It is what it is. It's nothing, bro. Bro, I'm just a channel, bro. It's all coming through me. It's nothing.

All I got to do is sit in the chair and I'm like. It's a whole different thing, bro. It's a top secret. All right. It's some shit I wouldn't even put my name on, bro. Bro, my bad for disrespecting you. All right, G. Keep it pushing. Dude, it's all G.

It is G, but you were just working. You got snarfed by the fucking Red G by the whatever. So I fuck. Yes, you're absolutely correct. Dude? So I come in. Weed is as gay as dudes that are into alcohol like that. It's bro.

Being like, this is an IPA. This is craft. It fucking sucks so bad. So I go into the back and it's like, I need it. I'm physically addicted to it. So I need to have it. But I miss me with all the culture around it. Yeah.

So he's pumping in my body, dude. Let me let me be. Now you're talking my language. Don't worry about my addiction, you fucking bitch. So I have to go in here. These guys with all their fucking pins talking like, dude, these guys would rip you to shreds if you were to say one thing they didn't agree with.

And I'm like, yeah, that's why you guys are fucking selling cancer patients trash, literal byproduct, industrial waste that should be only food grade while you while the most like corporate oligarchical system controls all the way. It's just it's all bull. It's all fucking dog and pony show. All we've talked about this before. But I'm fired up about that.

I'm walking in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I go to the very back now. I'm getting I'm picking up my stuff and this guy's back there just absolutely holding court. He's like, they're about to drop these new strings, bro. They fucking they're so fucking nice. The new strings are going to be so shit.

It's all hand trimming. I'm saying he's doing a spiel and I'm saying I'm I'm a bit. Think how fucking high these dudes get on these new strings and then just go on Twitter and are like, you actually don't think this is a woman. Dude, I'm sit. I walk into the place. I want to bash these guys getting high out of your mind

and being like, all inheritance is such a bad ass. There's so fucking high. I walked into the guy is they hand you an iPad. The guy was like, like squinting, trying to work an iPad. I'm like, these motherfuckers, bro, you can't just keep it easy. I had the decency to drink two cups of fucking my weed can get my work. Yes. I'm I can work fucking technology.

They're they're like, yeah, pisses me off. So then I walk back piss you off. The guy's doing a spiel. I walk back and he's like talking about the specific company and name who's really awesome, bullshit. I'm not I'm not going to slap a liability. But once I get the full facts and deeds, which I'll assemble, I will fully release names.

I will fully release brands. You're going to be in warm. I want to make sure I'm absolute. I got every all the facts, all my ducks in a row. Right now, I'm not going to shoot myself in the foot. I called fucking Tom. I think, yeah, Tom Wolf yesterday. You contact the governor.

Governor, contact the fucking governor, bro. Straight to VM. He's got a full voicemail. He's having to call your governor. Have you seen the dude running against Dr. Oz? Federman, Federman. I called his ass. I was trying to get his number.

Dude, he's another one. I'm Federman. Seems like I don't know shit about that guy. He looks like a real fucking tool. I don't know anything about them. It's a shame our guys are Federman versus Dr. Oz. I'm all I'm in it, bro. You like that perk?

I don't know anything about either of them, but I'm for some reason pulling for me because he's Republican. Bro, he knows everything about flaxseeds. Don't get Pennsylvania unless Pennsylvania won't be as fat. He's going to be like, guys, drink some fucking flaxseeds. You're jacked. Why are you trying to attack? You're jacked. You're jacked. Let Pennsylvania be fat as shit.

Not after me, man. I was rolling. Let Pennsylvania be fat, having fun, dude. No, dude. It's fun time. No, you want us to look like Colorado? I was just there. It's a guess. I want everyone. No, that's that's that's your bullshit. That's fucking skinny, fucking dorks, dude.

I want everyone to look like John the Baptist. Just fucking emaciated and ripped and fucking scraggly. But yeah, the so thirsty. So I went to the back, basically fucking work. I think I do a spiel and I just went nice. I was like, yeah, is that they're talking about the hand trim nugs that are coming out? I'm like, there should be hand trimmed anyway.

But I'm like, yeah, dude, they do that shake, too. How do you like that? He's like, oh, yeah, I was like, that stuff's fucking bull. I set off a trap. That was my bad. I should have done that. I was like, that stuff's fucking bullshit. And I started going on my rent.

That was the guy. I did. Said a bit of a hippie trap on him. And he was like, well, dude, you know what? He tried to start next leveling. We know what I said, bro. I know what the fucking law is, bro. It's at the bottom of plants. When you it's like this shit that's like too scraggly.

I said, bro, I know what larph is. You can't grind that up and you can't grow. You can't grind up fucking. You might be Mr. Marsh. I think I might be Mr. Marsh. You can't grind up. Sure. It's my integrity is too much. As you can't grind up sugar leaves

and give it to fucking cancer patients, bro. He said, there is this one company that just does no. And I'm like, bro, where is it? And why'd you guys tell me to get the stuff that's fucking trim? Why'd you give me the knife? You guys told me to buy trim and smoke it. Why?

And I told the guy in line. I said, don't buy the fucking trim, bro. He's like, I'm not buying that shit. Damn. So you were you killed the vibe in there? I called them grimy dude. I was like, dude, these dudes are high shit. You destroyed the vibe, bro. You were a harsh.

And again, I don't want to. This might be just you might be snarf or a Marfer. Whatever is funny too. Because it's like they get in there and they get like. It's larph larph larph larph. L. A. R. F. It's fucking larph. It's larph. But they like it.

And again, I'm being a bit judgemental. Sweetest weed nugs. Nugs, bro. Top shelf nugs. Although no shake, dude. I'm no stranger to the bottom of a turkey bag, dude. Yeah. The bottom of a turkey bag. I'll dig out the shake from there all day long.

That's my nugs. That's my little shakies, dude. They're telling me a shake. I'm expecting shake. If I don't get shake. I'm getting trim going. What the fuck? And I'm starting to go and these mother,

they're making millions of bucks, dude. You're telling me we can't have a little micro apartments. You guys can want a little competition. It's pissing me off, dude. It's genuinely pissing me off. So you went in and harsh the vibe. I harshed it so hard. This guy was in his glory, dude.

There was a white dude talking to a black guy by and we'd be like, yo, this string fucking slaps, bruh. He was like, fully going into all that shit. And then I went up to him. I'm like, yo, that's grimy bullshit, bro. That's the grimmiest thing you possibly do. Damn. Hit him with, like, fucking buried him with things.

Call him grimy. Call him grimy, bro. You're being, I'm like, this is grimy stuff, dude. Yeah, it's pretty fun. Speaking of that, I just watched a clip on the internet of Quentin Tarantino talking about Django. It's wild. He code switches hard.

He was on BET. And he code switched harder than anyone you've ever seen in your life in a bad, like he's not good at code switching. He's not good at. He's like, so damn, my man, Jamie came through. Yeah, why the fucking crew? Why did you do that fly movie? It's like, holy shit.

Apparently he just does that, though. I like him and he's the man. But that's wild. Yeah, dude, he's a it's funny when dudes code switch that do like a very offensive black accent as the code switch. Yeah, dude, where the fuck was I recently? That it was going down real hard. Well, the dispensary people, it's those guys get high.

And I like those guys get high and are like, man, man. I'm going to tell you about it. Jack, here we go. It wasn't it wasn't that bad. But it was like, yo, that's straight and straight up slaps, bro. And I was like, dude, shut up. Yes, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

I was speed. I wasn't being a grouch, but I mean, I was flipping the table. I was flipping the table. I was flipping the tables. You're JC. Although, do you know that when the people were out there selling at the temples, it wasn't actually like a sinful? Well, it was it was just they were according this one thing I read.

That was what people did back then. They would be like they would set up temples so they didn't want you to waste time. If you were going to church, you could just hit it. You can get like whatever you need of the market outside of the time. It wasn't like a terrible thing to do, but he was flipping the temples being like these stupid little acts aren't going to get you anywhere, dude.

So it wasn't as much of like people say it was like a really evil thing he was stopping. It was just he just does rule. Bro, I've been getting light in a biblical scholarship. I'm not going to say I'm a biblical scholar, but I've been getting into like biblical week. I'm getting into like the translation through the translation errors and like when they say like the dude ran up a sycamore

fig, like that tree specifically carries a connotation that people just breeze over. Pretty sick. Yeah. And pretty fun. I've been unlocking the meetings. Pretty fun. I lay up at night. I had a little fire. Later, brother.

Goodbye. Contact me if you guys want to come. Later, brother. Dude, it's pretty sick getting into like the different like the deep meetings of all like, dude, salt covenants. Yeah, that's shit. Fucking rules. What's that? Dude, if you and I were so bad, we're back in times.

We're in the Middle East like pre Jesus. Yeah, you come into my house. I'm like, yo, bro, I think you're pretty sick. Let's eat these olives. You and I just made a salt packed. If we a salty food together, then if we could never betray each other, if we betray each other punishable by death, we need a salty treat. That's what I'm saying, dude.

There's like shit like that. You betray me over a salt covenant, bro. You would break the salt government and stab me in the back. What the hell are you talking about? I go eat to Matt. What the fuck? Yeah, dude. What are you talking about?

You're claiming me or breaking the salt. I'm sorry about that. I'm harsh in the pot, dude. I'm not bad. I'm harsh in the pot. I made a salt covenant last night to never watch porn with myself. I'm dude, I'm never going to watch it. I'm showing you porn every time you see me. You can show it to me.

I'll fucking blame myself. I'm talking about me. Secret mission status yourself to his pornography late at night. I said, I was like, stop. I was like, I don't think I'm ever going to watch it ever again. That's sick. We'll see. I mean, I mean, if I break a salt covenant, like, dude, there's stories in the Old Testament about like there's like so much weird shit

where like a guy's in a lady's tent and then she just like gives him like buttermilk and then drives a nail into his head. It's like and the guy like breaks down all the specific meetings. Like he like goes. It really was like he was seeking asylum in there. She was nice enough. The buttermilk was a salt covenant. So it's like rather than giving it, he asked for water and she's like, here's

buttermilk and it's like, damn, now that's like you're under full protection in my house. Yeah. And he's like word. And then he goes into I'm still in the dispensary word. And then he goes into her chambers. He goes into her chambers and she goes, she goes, well, now that's like punishable by Neth. Now my honor is on the line because you enter my chambers and she lets him fall asleep and just takes a nail and fucking drives it

right into his temple. And everyone's like, praise that woman for she is so righteous. Yeah, they said in the Middle East back in the day, if you were wandering around, like if you're if you didn't get to your hotel on time, you're now you can get attacked by thieves who like camp out on the road. Yeah. He said, they all took it so seriously. I don't know if it's still like this, but like if you're like wandering around your tourist, if you were to walk into like a thieves tent and say, yo, bro,

I can't find a place, please, can we make a salt covenant for the night? The thief would go, how much money do you have? You'd count out all your money, a thousand bucks. You go give it to me, put it in his pocket and then you would have a little salty meal. He'd let you sleep all night and then he'd stand out guard for you all night in the morning and give you your money. And they got to get out of here. Wow. That's how seriously they took it. Yes.

Pretty sick, dude. I like that. Yeah. There's a it's called light through an eastern window. It's a very good book. You should try that today. What? So I'll cover it. Just going to North Philly and be like, look, I ran out of places to stay. I'll give you guys a thousand bucks. Stand guard. Stand guard. We eat these all these pickles, dude. Hey, everybody.

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visit Lucy.co and use that promo code drenched. That's ads. We're done with ads now. Back to the now back to the Matt and Shane's podcast show. They I'll tell you what I was watching. I had a bit of a willco experience myself. What happened? I was watching this show 1883 on the airplane.

What's that? It's about it's about some people head and west. Yeah. So, you know, the organ trail. That's a good time. That's another time. I was sick and I romanticized. Yeah. And then. Because I read some of that book under the

the indifferent stars above or whatever. Yeah, it's about the Donner party. It's pretty sick when you find out about how much everyone died and the ways they died on the way out there. How many got munched? The Donner party. I don't know a lot. I don't know. Did they get into like the

anyone? It got into yeah. The girl who like the story is about survived. Did she go out to a restaurant after a Donner party of one? Close that in. I know that. It was a Jim Carrey. It wasn't really. Yeah.

Fucking. Oh, at one point they found a because they were in like a snowdrift. Second snowdrift talk. Big big. Two snowdrifts in one pod. There was like a hole that they couldn't get out of. They were so deep and they just sort of munching each other in this pit and the dudes that found them were like,

we got to just cover this pit up and everybody that's alive in there. They're dead. Oh, just covered up. And then they ended up not doing it. But they everybody that survived was like jammed for the rest of their lives. They munched for a long time. It wasn't like a quick munch. There was like some dudes had like cabins that were covered with snow

filled with like meat hanging. Yeah, it was bad. Fuck. But on the way out, the prairies were shit, dude. It's a fucking desert. Yeah, man. Of tall grass. Like kids would get off the thing and walk like 10 feet and just gone forever. Ticks galore. No, you just lose kids. Yeah, I know.

In the little ticks, you know, don't you? You're not wrong. They be munched. They would get munched right away. But so much in the show. And I think the goddamn altitude got me again. Any time in a plane, any time in a plane, whatever I'm watching, I'm like, this is the shit. I mean, you have it's truly is the shit.

You have nothing. You're fully capped. Yeah, this shit rules. Yeah, I didn't pay for the Wi-Fi on my phone. I'm locked in. Yeah, yeah. So I'm watching it and I get home and I'm like, nice, we can start this. My girlfriend's going to love this. I put it on. She's like, this shit sucks so bad. And of course, the episodes did suck.

Yeah. So it's three and four suck. Oh, man. So yeah, I got will code. She was laughing. She had eaten some weed edibles that are fucking bitch. Fuck. She was snigger. She had a witch on your hands. I was like, what?

She was like, this show sucks. I was like, no, it doesn't. It's so good. You're a witch on your hands. The first two episodes ruled. I stand by that. You're going to watch the first two episodes of 1883. It'll be good. Shane was right.

Oh, dude, I like it. And you're going to hit three and four and go. His girlfriend was right. Dude, I got to recommend on the 100 at the one time off the Netflix series from this guy I used to work with. Yeah. What was it? Black Muslim dude. It was like, yo, check out the hundred. You can never trust black muslim dudes with show wrecks.

I took his word on it and the idea was sick. He explained the idea. Yeah. It's like a classic sci-fi Earth's been uninhabited for a hundred years. Everyone's in space and they send people back. Oh, OK. Great. They send a hundred people back. But then it was just a soap opera with underneath.

It was so fucking literally how she described the show. Yeah. This is a soap opera. Yeah, they get you. I said, no, it's not. They get you. And then it became a soap opera. Where are we at? We switch over to the page. We're tight on time.

We are. Yeah. Unfortunately, guys, what a podcast. We're going to switch over to the Patreon. Goodbye, Redditors.