Ep 413 - King of the Games (feat. Lil Sasquatch)
00:00Activate hello come on come alive like Chuck E. Cheese robots, dudeWe're here with Harry Wow WowWhat you're gonna say my name. Oh, we try to hide your name. Yeah government man. Put out his government dudeYou can get itThat's why I never go on my phone it why your government name the fuck you talkNever have that's your government. What are you trying to hide? He doesn't want to get run up on in the parking lot, broYou look like you get yes, bro. I saw you eating a burger bro. I'd fucking pullFor real though, what's your thought process on hiding your identity? I don't know. I just have always done it
00:44Okay, it was like a work thing. Well, I started doing like the social media shit when I was in like middle school or high schoolThey don't want youNo, I'm not that's crazy. Yeah, I was in middle schoolYou're in middle school with social mediaYeah, I like eighth grade when I started doing it and he blew up there. He's a social media iconYeah, you're like that social media Macaulay Culkin. Yeah, pretty much. I get the comparison a lotMacaulay defended Michael by the way, yeah, he was goodI always said that nah lies
01:26Who made that up then? I think the other lying kids saidThey had pretty accurate stories, but I mean how detailed not accurate how jealous or they have Macaulay, thoughYou're like so jealous. You were like you were Michael Jackson's like side. No one guy became a dancerReally, that'll do it to you get my godThen he ended up I thinkDating Britney Spears or something he like fucked he fucked Michael Jackson and Britney SpearsThat's fucking sick. What's he belly aching about?Speaking of tragedies, we're gonna make light of that kid getting shot was funny. Yeah, don't let the other guys at Barstle
02:14It was a rough showing on my behalfNo, it was funny at the time when you and me were talking it was and then when you tried to steal my materialYou didn't bring the delivery that you needed. I did not bring the deliveryI walked in I was just like in the most monotone voice ever. I was like, yeahDo you guys see that video of that kid getting shot by the cop?He left out that it was a white kid. YeahYeah, that would have the whole place would have erupted. They're like, holy shit. That's hilariousOh, you went out on stage and talked about no, no, what it probably worked better on stage
02:49You know I did it on the yak the show that I do on Barstle. Yeah yesterday brought to the stoolYeah, took it up to the stool didn't play with all up with the boys pull the storeLike it said, I'm gonna pull up a stoolI'm gonna tell you guys a funny story. Hey guys real rap real rap pull up the stool. Please brutality funnyIt's funny when it happens to a white guy, bro. That's not cool. The holiday. They shut it downThey shut it down sevenRoan was on your assRoan was on my ass hard and Roan said that he saw the video and said he didn't think it was funny
03:20It's IThought it was funny because Shane was showing it to me 70 times a day. Yes, and we were cryingThe first time I saw it I said I did not think it was funnyAnd then when I thought about showing it to you what while you me and La Mer were out to eat lunch in my headI was like, I gotta show these guys this video then I realized it was funny while I was taking my phone outI was like wait till you fucking see thisIt's a kid eating a burgerIn a McDonald's parking lot in a cop with no hesitation
03:53Opens his door with his gun out. He's like get out of the fucking carDude the picture the picture they showed I only saw the news story. His face is just likeThat's the funny part is the face. Yeah, the funny the funny part is the tragedy. YesIt's so fucking crazy that it's funny. Yeah. YeahWell, the funniest part of it to me is that there's so many white dudes out there being like, yeahWe all get fucking mistreated by the police. It's proofs in the pudding dude. I was thinking we were talking about thatI was like dude that kid the rest of his life somebody's gonna be like police brutality needs to stop against black peopleHe's gonna be like
04:30Pardon me for a second. No, he's eating a burger and then I was laughing about thinking aboutSitting in a park. I've sat in many parking lots eating a burger by myself. You're just you're deep in thoughtStaring it like a lightIn a faster parking lot it's just a crime in and of itself. It's a crimeYou're watching you're looking off into the Walmart parking lot likeI think he's live unfortunatelyWe saw that news clip and they were like he's in stable. He's gonna be in stable condition on bar so they looked it upAnd they're like he's in critical condition
05:23Yeah, and the hangover. Yeah, that would have been tough. It must have felt really really roughOh, she thought you're gonna have a good time and everyone's like you're fucked upThat whole flight you must have been like perfect. I got I got my topic for today's podcastI was like they're gonna think this is funnyAnd then I and then I'm people DMing me just being like dudeYou're such a piece of shit, and I'm just rollingIJust start death right there's some geezer comic geezer comics right now talking shit on me
06:06What, you know fucking geezer comics that read the fucking New Yorker that are still mad. They're like this article isinexcusableSo funnyTalking shit. I'm talking shit. Tell him you'll shoot them. I might like guys. I'll fucking shoot. I mean, I know you guysI'm I'm gonna fly there and shoot youThen we'll see who's laughing and body cam the footage flying like you're I'm gonna surprise you with this gunI'm gonna wait until you're getting some fast food. What I mean, what is what is the honest like?What's the penalty for holding someone at gunpoint?
06:43It's it's maybe a couple years the most yeah, if you videotape yourself holding a coupleI could use two years off three yearsI'm just laying down building years dudeYes, building years, and then you have the footage of puttingAnd then I come out and talk likeShia and fucking burnt all just come out and be like yo goBrother no brotherBut yeah, it was funny because one of the comics I don't name him
07:13Yeah, please don't attack these guys on the internet for real. Please don't it's exactly what they want don't do itYeah, anything attack them in real life with a weaponI'm fucking Sam HydeNo, in real lifeYou mean in the ring, right? NoNow the one guy I clicked on his fucking Twitter profile picAnd it's him in like a Hillary Clinton maskLike
07:48YeahYeah, there's a there's a there's a whole wave of comics that are like old dudes that suck that got lost in CNNYeah, that are just as lame as the dudes lost in Fox. It is the light thoughThat's like the moth light for dudes who truly suckyYou're wrong just follow fucking Don Lemon into your screen likeDon knowsHere's the big story. Yes, it's me and sass and the mayor we go to Buffalo helium great job this weekend sassOh, thank you, Harry. Wow
08:29He's doing stand-up. He's gonna use a fucking name. I don't know my name this weekend. So you drop the littleYeah, you drop the littleYeah, no, the mayor was introducing. It was Harry little sassYeah, which was funny. All right, we'll delete all this. No, no, it's fine. You sure I'm not sureYou don't anyone know what's what's what's the what's the fuss now?Yeah, last time it got out. It was just like a bunch of people like DMing my parents and shit. That's part of the gameAnd like DMing my sister on LinkedIn, I'm gonna find your sister on LinkedIn and I'm gonna threaten her withTo be fair, they are networking. I'm gonna find her
09:15Yeah, try to build a networkPut on a resume. Yeah, I knowDMing your sister and me like your brother sucked on the podcastJust so you know, I think your brother's a pussy on the podcastIGuys when you've had a long day and you want to unwind like a grown-up grab your favorite Lucy gum or nicotine pouchI'll tell you what I I mean Lucy. What is there not to like about it?Do you can just suck on that thing and get a bunch of nicotine?
09:49Continue your addicted lifeCheck out all that Lucy has to offer at Lucy dot-co. That'sLucy dot-coUse promo code drenched at checkout if you're a listener from Canada, you can get Lucy atC a dot Lucy dot-co warning this product contains nicotine nicotine isn't addictive chemicalBut if you're interested in a better way to use nicotine visit Lucy Doug. So you said promo code drenchedAll right, so we go to BuffaloBuffalo helium big time did fun big time. It is fun. Buffalo helium is fun. It was fun
10:27I had a good timeBuffalo is it must be the diarrhea capital of the world. Oh the food we ate straight diarrheaOne of the one of their delicacies is a pizza log, which is just a spring roll filled with dough cheese and pepperoniIt was that was might have for real hadThat was one of those things that's so shitty when you eat, but I had no guilt or like regretI was like dude. Those are so fucking good. Yeah, you ever have one. NoWhat's a pizza like a rolledInstead of a piece roll it's an egg roll. Oh, I guess it's fried fucking good. Yeah, it's fried
11:04I mean, it was delicious even at helium with they were good comedy club foods. Not the bestMm-hmm. I put my hurt. No, I focus it on Buffalo bites like I always do you thought on the bitesYes, I did some damageIt was the diet the diet this week was fucking crazy really. Yes, we were eating Buffalo bitesPizza roll pizza logs. I mean, it's all a man. Me LaMarin sass. There's no one there has any controlNo one had control usually I'm there's one guy. That's like alright. Let's not yeahThe only time I didn't have buffalo bites and pizza logs was when I made the pad tieMy room on the first night and I spilt it onto my suitcase and all of my clothes are covered in pad tie
12:03Yeah, and we kept going to the same shitty bar every night. It was fun, but here's here. Let's get to theHarder than that. Yeah, dude, so Gabe Davis is wide receiver for the Buffalo BillsAbsolute legend. YeahHe brought a couple of players to the show. Mm-hmm. So the bros are there. It's like Friday night Saturday Friday nightThe bros are there. That's it. Uh, which was very scary to see the bros. YeahYou don't realize how big NFL players are until they're in the Buffalo helium green room, which is a closetNine of themHey fellas the in La Mer were pressed up against each other in the corner while like 10 NFL dudes
12:42Surrounded us. It was awesome. Jesus hot guys too. Oh, yeah, so then they they hook us up with three tickets to the gameWe go to the game. There's what a timeWhat a great time the Buffalo Bills football game was yeah tailgate slightly we had like oneBut we got there late. We had a rough night the night before the mayor started challenging me to drinking contestsWhich it was a draw every fucking time dude. What was a draw every time we couldn't stopAnd it kept being like no, I won no I wonAmerican SlurpUntil we got to Bud lights and there was yeah, it was a wrap you brought him in a deep water
13:22I took it. Yeah, I took him into deep water. He was nice on the car bombs thoughWe like five car bombs and she made us she made us film it for himNo, we needed video replayHear my shot glass hitting first dude, but he was it was photo finish. It wasThe mayor's nice, so that was we were that was supposed to be a night. We were taking it easyNo, that was our last night. Wasn't it Saturday night? Yeah. Well Friday night. We did actually kind of take itYeah, yeah, Saturday night. It was like all right. We got to take it easy. We got to go a fucking bills game in the morningAt like 9 a.m. We didn't we got there at kickoff, but get in gave Davis honors me with an incredible performance
14:03Yeah, trueAnd his boy Bert Bert was fucked up. We were drinking he was like games doing this for you right nowSo after the gameGabe comes over to the where we're sitting. Yeah takes his fucking jersey off signs it and gives it to meIt's me and little kidsI'm drunk in a bills hoodie with glasses and a hatLike leaning over the wall for real everybody there thought I was a retarded guy and then NFL films was like filmingIt was like a crowd of children around me
14:48And I was standing there, I'm like, how old are you boys?You threw up in the third quarterYeah, I wasRecently, I think yesterday actually I was in a bathroom where I thought someone threw up and I was like Jesus ChristWhat a fucking shame flecked throwing up in a public bathroom regulate your stomach in publicAnd then I ate fish that night and I was like worried. I was gonna throw upWhat type of what type of fish salmon I just salmon last night. Did you let me do I had a lot of it really?I had two full giant pieces of salmon. Yeah, it's one of those fishes one of those things are like eggs
15:29You're like, I think I need like 40 pounds. I can just keep eating. Yeah, it's healthySick damn that's that I dude I went before you said about his friend like he's doing this for youI was thinking like he probably truly was charged up. Oh, he wasWas he went to the show and he was like, I'm about to fucking honor himHe definitely was running faster than usual. I betHe was fast as hell. I'm dude. I'm telling you and it's so funny to be like announcers like man. He's really put it onYou might be as muse dude, I could be Gabe Davis's museGabe Davis's muse
16:10So gives me the jersey we're hanging out then we we go dudeThis is where the this is where this whole thing getsIncredibly funny is just La MerLa Mer around NFL players. He was treating him like he was like a child. Yeah, he's like 32Yeah, with like he's 10 years older than theseThey got him a bills hoodie that they gave him a 3x it was down to his kneesDude, he had his hands in his sleeves the whole time. He's like he's fucked up. Yeah, if you glimmer is for real autisticWithout a doubt. He was he was saying
16:51Right fuck how rages their right guardThat plays with bills is a monster. He was the black dude in the chains. Yeah in like a cool shirtLa Mer stands in front. He's talking to one of the one of us. Yeah, what a family was this actually to maybe his familyYeah, there's stands next to them. He's mid-conversation. It just goesI've never seen someone hold a pound longer an unanswered pound dude. He justFinally this dude not looking at him goesHe is the best it was incredibleBill's got an onslaught of autism from sass in La Mer
17:55It was incredible. I've never seen anything likeWe're hanging out afterGabe takes us through the facilities while we're walking through the facilitiesLa Mer's walking just La Mer and Gabe Davis are walking at La Mer's like, how does it feel to reach your dreams of being an NFL player?We're in the locker room and me and La Mer got a picture backWatchesOh my god, so we go to we go to Josh Allen and we go to the teams likeDinner yeah, and just in a restaurant. It was great. It was wonderful. La Mer is sitting. It's a long table
18:44It's La Mer and this one wide out. I forget who it was sitting next to sitting a chair apartBut no one else is around them. We're across the table. I hear La Mer look over at him and goOther than us being black. What do you think you and I have in common?And the dude was real like yoHe wasn't having it at allAnd La Mer was like what it's a good question. No shameThe guy's like sitting with his family. Oh my godSo we're laughing about that we're laughing about it again doesn't take a hint that maybe he should stop doing this
19:23Five minutes later out and again this guy's not talking to him. He's just asking quite like he's sitting eating and then being likeWhat what do you search on YouTubeHe's like, I don't know man like what he's like what are you talking about?IMean hasn't confronted this level of nerd in like decades, dude. I know it's no one's ever seen anything like true trueBut it's so funny. You get this at like a family party and like one of your cousins is thereThat's like really fucked up in La Mer's defense. He did turn to me in the middle of the gameAnd he was like I think I'm gonna black out
20:06And I was he's like I've never blacked out twice horse dude. HeDominates a dragon me and him were drinking. He was fine. He doesn't he doesn't get like visibly drunk. No, yeah, dudeHe is a tank. I do it. It's crazy. He's fast. He's nimbleHe asked all the right questions. Yes, all the right questions. He dominated. Yeah, he might be an exoskeletonThat's so fun, it's so funny though is that dude like just think of the wide receiver worldIt's just like you wake up. There's a bunch of chicks like yeah, I want to boil youI'm assuming this is a bunch of chicks trying to fuck youYou're just cool. You're driving cool cars and all of a sudden you're at dinner with La Mer going like other than being black
20:48What do you think?The guy's like, I don't knowHasn't made like the neural connections to answer those questions like everHe's just like in front of the completely unique situation. Like what the fuck is what is this?What am I dealing withAn entity dude entitySo we leave there we go back to games we played poker me and the mayor get fleeced. Oh, I gave a mayor 200 bucksWe played $200 by yeah, yeah, I bought it three times. I was getting killed the dude next to me was beating me so bad
21:22He was showing me his fucking cards. What? Yeah, it was it was humility. You're good at poker. I was do I thought I was I was getting shit handsbutThe mayor is out right away. I give him $200. He's literally out first likeNo idea he's like, oh shit, I have nothingSo this is where the this is where this is where the things so we go there we leave there we go toDave and Buster's and Buffalo one of the playersHad paid some money to buy it outSo it's empty these guys have so much fucking yeah
22:00It was really cool. Fuck we get in there before we leave I take a lot of mushroomsI was like, I'm gonna stop drinking. I'm gonna switch over to my with the mushrooms. I don't knowI don't know. Yeah, I don't know they were like those candy barsWhat the heckRight nowGabe better be okay. Oh my god. Do you kiss that dude?With no pants onHaving us a little bit until the car at home the car at home. He was having a blast
22:53So we go inWe're at Dave and Buster's. Yeah, there's a lot of women your own mushrooms. Oh, so we have I don't knowSo I read the the back of the candy bar thing saidlike one one your micro dosing to your micro dosing between likeThree and nine. You're okay. Yeah, I took six maybe seven such a gobblerEvery time I gobbled the fuck out of them we get in there. I'm they're starting to hit when we arrive. I'm likeI'm in Dave and Buster's with the bills andlike 50
23:31Ladies from BuffaloWomen of the night Cardi B'sCardi Buffalo's. Yes, strange women. YesCardi Buffalo buzz. Yes, and they were fucking they were they were having funThen the cool players show up, which was very funny to see yeahYeah, the difference that we were with like linemen and tight ends. Yeah, we're at the honkiesYeah, the cool bros showed up. Really dressed. They all looked like fucking Migos. YeahThey're in the coolest shit you've ever seen which normally I'd be like, that's cool
24:02I was high as shit on mushrooms. I was like, what the fuck are these guys wearing?So this is this these boys hog heaven you get lemur and sass some video gameLemur at one point announced to me. He said I'm the king of the gamesDominateDude, and he has he's like a little kid. He's walking. There's this d-tackle playing fucking guitar heroLemur is like, do you mind if I play with you?And the guy's like, yeah, sure man, whatever. I have a photo of it. That'll be posted right there on the mushrooms, tooYeah, I think a little bit. He was fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He literally he crushes everything
24:45I was freaking out and he was giving me like pep talks like dude. We're having fun relaxThe mayor was trying to snap me out of it. We were walking around like a dog nature rock, tooYeah, we had to hold on to him like this wayI was being so nice to you. Yeah, you're being nice. Come on. Let's get over here. Come on. I was just watching you play gamesYeah, I would literally go game to game with him watch him play it for two seconds and walkMy faceFuckAll David Buster's cards his card broke and I'm sitting there is talking to a cop
25:36Officer my charge cards expired. He's like I can't help you with that. I don't work hereLike someone gave me a card when I walked in. I need a new one. Oh, I could have given you mineI know I didn't do that unlimited charge card. Oh, yeah. YeahdudeUnlimited David Buster's charge card babes and the Buffalo Bills. Oh, it was about as cool as it getsNo, I hadn't monched too hard. Yeah, that would have been a great night. It's yeah, but I did MongeAnd I was like, I can'tYou don't even time for cruising USA
26:20Yeah, I'm walking around. I see people like Gabe was playing like cruising USA. He was in like a car thingI was like, what the fuck is going on? OhBusters on mushrooms. They must have some mushrooms with dudes that are 610300 pounds all around and then Buffalo fucking Cardi B'sIt was the craziest thing I've ever seenloud musicIt was great. That's intense dude. It was so it was so intense that I didn't realize how high I wasUntil I got home and it got into my hotel room and everything was moving. Yeah, and I was like, holy shit. I was
26:57hallucinating the entire timeBut and there's that likeI mean non-stop I'm watching the man's ass play games at one pointAt one point all the cool black players were playing basketballMm-hmmNothing wrong with itJust saying that's what they're doing. They're playing the you know the bed of the best wayBut they were surrounded by like girls and the speaker was right there and rap was blasting and I look over and
27:26The the right tackle is Spencer. He's like six nine. He's huge. He's by himself playingICan't look at thisIt's like one of those like reflex gameHe's so big he covered the entire thing. Oh my god. He's likeNail it was just funny to see the the difference between a yeah white dude from IowaDude for some reason I went up after him and I was like, I'm gonna smoke you like I'm gonna be the reflexNot remembering he's in the NFL and also an athlete. Yeah, I got like 200 points less than him. Yeah
28:12He set the record in your defense. I've never seen anything like it. It was really yeahThe game the game's huge and he was bigger than the fucking gameI have a video of him playing niceIt pans over to you and you're just likeIOh my god, he was my guide though. Yeah, he was cool. He was really very like here. Come on. Everything's goodLike this is fun. That's so sick. Yeah, and I was laughing imagining him as a VikingHe was a Viking. Oh, he even has like a Viking head. Yeah, he's a big guy. He's a Viking
28:51He got into your house. You're done. The whole thing's done fucked security there. They were white knuckle in their gunsPlease nothing happenedYou'd abandon I'd abandon posts on that dudeI don't want to miss things because this was I mean as funny as anything I've ever had it's honestlySo then this is this is it. It's absurd. The moment. So there's a gameHarry's fucked up. Don't act like you wereEven on mushroomsHe goes up there's a Star Wars game that's between the bars where everybody's hanging out and then it goes into the arcade
29:35The first game you see is this VR headset that drops down from the like ceilingAnd it's a Star Wars game. It's got like the two-hand thing. Yeah attached as wellI see Harry start to walk over towards it. Yeah, I'm thrilled like dude. No way. That's what you've been searching forI'm like no way he's about to do thisTapping gameHe comes onHe was wearing corduroyAnd these sneakers
30:05He probably scanned them later scanned like access grantedHe puts on the fucking VR headset and I'm so delighted. I can't believe this is happeningAs soon as he does it we're all laughing. So then a crowd noticesSo then I have no idea. A semi-circle forms around him of some of the Cardi B's a lot of NFL playersJust dude, we would die and he played for like 15 minutes of just likeHe has no idea this is happening. No, there's 30 people watchingHe drew his lightsaberBecause he was like you could use the force
30:50You're in another dimensionAt one point while I couldn't watch itIt was to I was crying. Yeah, and I looked like an asshole because I'm standing there falling over laughingI mean, it's you were right though Gabe taps me and goes look at your other boyBehind the crowd. I look at the mayor's in a axe throwing cage byThey root they dominated this partyThey dominated the after party when there's a berserkerHe's my favorite bite so the whole time I'm laughing. I'm so excited for him to take his mask off and realize that
31:38He takes it off no shame he looksB-lines walk straight up to my face. It's like the game was actually pretty hardI pulled the mask off and there's literally like75 people surrounding me and I'm likeI swear guys as soon as you lowered your maskOh fuckOh my god, that was it. That was that was everyone was like, yeah, we have to leave I can't that's I think Gabe was the one who pulled the plugGabe pulled the plug Gabe saw where this was headed. It's just too autistic. They're too autistic
32:21They were killing the vibe because the vibe was cool. I bet it was cool guys. Yeah, but we were having funI couldn't dude we got in the truckI couldn't stop like I was I was like stop telling me storiesOh, stop telling me and then I'm next to Gabe and I'm like this guy just had two touchdowns against the Steelers todayAnd lameron sass are in the back like and then when the tie fightersAnd it was also he started laughing he couldn't drive he was laughing so hard. He was like, all right, stop. StopWhat a great guy too. Yeah, he was awesome. He was incredible. Jesus Christ is that such a funny collision of worldsIt's Hades, dude. Comedy podcasting is
33:17And you're talking to the nfl these guys worked hard train hard. They're getting what they deserveI smoked pot during college and changed my majorsI didn't apply myself to anything in lifeHere I amRight, the problem was that I thought like because we were with GabeThat like everyone else there knew usAnd then I realized we must have just looked like like like cousins of someone or like like you know a wish likeYeah, that was full make-a-wish
33:53All three of it. By the way, me him and lameron walking around togetherLooks insane. It looks like the craziest squad of all we'd go into bars and people would be likeIt's that star wars barAnd again, the lameron sass is zeroSocialing like in that set when you're drunk. There's no anxiety like you'll start dancingMeryl just start talking to groups of peopleOh, fuck. Oh my god. But yes, that was a very very big victory. I got home. I had to call my girlfriendYeah, yeah, I was tripping so hard. Yeah, I was like laying in bed in the dark. I was like, I need to talk to somebody
34:35Call my call my girlfriend. I was like, I fucking love you so much. It's a good move. That's a good moveAnd I was like wait till you hear what happened tonight. I couldn't even explainI was like, yeah, that sass plays virtual realityAnd then sass was likeThat's a fucking funny as shit the world broAnd it honestly is like that's like a dolly painting of a social situation just started to meltJust like a really cool thing happened all of a sudden like someone swirled the colorsYeah, the mushrooms was
35:11I mean it ended up being I've never laughed that hard in my life. I had a really great timeThat was for the culture fluctuated fromtotal terrorTo the funniest thing hilarious like I couldn't control myself laughingGod that rules. Yeah, it was sick. It was a very fun weekend. Yeah, dude. This is the coolestThat's the fucking bestIt was really cool. I've sold out davin busters. It's sold. Yeah, the davin buster empty davin bustersTo just basically lemur and sass walking through there like darth vader is fucking yeah
35:42Dominating it was funny because as soon as we got in there why we all split up instantlyYeah, divide and conquer straight to the games straight to the games the boysscattered to gamesWhich one's the coolest gameThat vr star warsIt was it was really it would have been really fun if no one was lookingYeah, but when you start kind of want an audience doing the vr stuff you want to put on a showI mean the fact that yeah, well, how'd you feel when the big reveal was basically a surprise party for you?
36:08It was awesome. I was like that was sickBuffalo vills were like no, I don't think I ever it didn't register to meWhat happened until the next morning when you guys sent the videoI looked like I was an actual video footage but it's from lemur so he didn't film itHe didn't lemur didn't know why it was funny lemur filmed itThe mayor was like everybody likes thisLike this is coolBut I was in I was on the side and I was direct eye line with three cardi b's
36:38that were likeIn their drink like what the fuck is this? They just knew there was a crowd. They're just crushing roofies with a strawThere was a crowd so the cardi b's naturally this went over to be like what's going on trueAnd they couldn't there's no way they could comprehendWhat what was being done a bit of snapchat brain a bit of snapchat brain just ass dancingIt was toughIt's funny to think about them just having predator vision for shit. They can film on their phone. Oh shitIt was uh, yeah that started that absolutely
37:20YeahThey got on the this is also this was making me laugh so hard as him going to try to recharge his cardThey were literally dancing on the barAnd I don't remember that it was like I need I need to recharge my cardSo all these people players and girls are at the bar. He's likeMy davin buster's card's not workingI was I was up there just getting like can I please have another waterI get like thrilled they the women did not see us
37:54They like bumped me out of the wayThank youYeah, it was incredibleGabe davis is the bro, dudeSt. Gabe day. St. Gabe davis. Thank you. Thank you, bro. St. Burt. St. Burt. St. Gabriel. Yeah, it was cool, tooBurt was fucking hilarious. Oh my god that fucking rules. Yeah, that was uh got home yesterdayDepleted bro needed a day of rest gave it allYes. Yeah, yesterday was tough
38:22Having to me and lamere just wanted I had to I had to pull trig in the airport bathroomYou threw up in the air. I didn't throw up. I tried to but I couldn'tMy lamere just like waits outside of the bathroom for me totally fine. He's got all fours in the bathroomHe's totally finecrazy, dudeHe's fucking why there's no eight mushrooms with me. Yeah, dude. He was totally fine. I woke up the next morningI was like he texted me. He was like, I'm down stairs. I got upstairs. He's outside smoking a cig and I'm just likeHe might be like a dimension hopper, dude. Oh, yeah at one point I'm in the lobby
39:00One of the dudes who works at the hotel just walks by the man likeYeah, what how do you know the guy who works here? He's like I gave him a blunt last nightI was like, dudeWell, it didn't someone else case someone came up to about the uh bills tail againOh, that was fine. Sure. Me lamere and sass are walking and someone's like lamereUh, so that's nothing makes me happy. What's going on with you Matt, dudeWhere we at time wise? Yeah, we might justNice damn hell yeah guys
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41:23Get 15% off your first order by going to getfirstperson.com and use code drenched. That'sG-e-t-f-i-r-s-t-p-e-r-s-o-n.comCode drenched for 15% off the first order get first person.com code drenched these statements have not been evaluated by the FDAFunded by Fauci these products are not intended to diagnose treat cure prevent any diseaseBut mental illness is a myth anyway, so who fucking cares? Goodbye, dude. IMight have had I also simultaneously had one of the funnest weekends of my life. Oh, yeah, Cape Cod wedding, dudeYes, I've never ever been to Cape Cod before my mom's from the Cape dude. I didn't realizeDoxxed yeah, yeah, probably not
42:09Dude, it is you've ever been up there before noIt's it's the best. It's the best. We don't know about it. It's like a it kind of in Pennsylvania. You go to the jersey shoreYeah, she's just a flat or western you go to fucking Maryland. Yeah. Yeah, yeahDude, there is likeIt's so hard to describe, but it's like so basicallyIt's like a it's the most like beautiful natural scenery at a beachYou can tell because like they had the foresight back in like the 50s or whenever the 60s did not to like flatten everything with bulldozers and build plasticHouses on everything. Yeah, like sea isle is just a flat expanse. They develop on everything
42:46This is they've like preserved like dunes. It's dude. It's so fucking nicebutSo we flyTo boston's we have kids with us. So we went to a wedding. So i'm like, i'm not driving anywhereWe're flying everywhere. I'm not doing this. So we fly to boston. It's like an hourYou know, whatever it is an hour flightAnd then we I didn't realize we're flying from boston to providence or province town. Oh really holy shit, dudeThat was a nine seat sesna plane. Yeah, so we go small we go to the airport
43:11It's like Cape Cod air or something. I forget what the fuck it was called and they were like, can you guys stand on the scale?We're gonna weigh you and I was like, ha ha and they're like, no like for real. We need youIt was that small the plane. It was a nine seater plane. That's actually that small. It's a nine seater planeThat's fucking crazy. Dude. So I'm like, okaySo we get on the plane that weigh all of our luggage weigh our stuffAnd like the captain will tell you where to sit based on your weight. We'll figure it outDude, and then there's like that airline runs planes to like all of those shore pointsSo there was one airline while we were waiting. They were like
43:41We're having a weight issue with the plane. Will somebody pleaseLike ride the next someone with flexibility because you ride the next oneAnd like people weren't standing up and then or finally two people got up and they were likeNo, actually we need you to there was just one big fat guyAnd I think they're trying to de-fat the plane reallyAnd I think they're like, um, if nobody else comes forward, we'll take the last person and remove them from the thingSo these ladies were so fucking mean who did was they had to like sit there and have likeJust ruin people's day. Their job was to be like you're too fat
44:14You're so fat you kick someone offYou were dangerous. You're making the plane dangerousSo dude, they were like so these ladies were so fucking mean because I was like our plane got delayed not by that muchBut I was nicely being like, heyDo you guys have any idea like, you know, like no rush?I just want to know like do you have an actual time frame or not?Because I'm trying to figure out like can I go take a shit?You know what can I do stuff? She goes sir, we're working on the plane. How you can you can have a seat right now
44:39Before I even know what happened. I'm walking back sitting in my seat and Brittany's like, what's she saying?I was like, uh, she told me to sit down. I'm like, fuckBitch, why did I listen to dominated you?It totally dominated me. So then Brittany gets up. I go, please. Please. Please. Please. Don't go upDude, I literally before I even knew what was going on. I was likeSit down on my seat. I don't know why I'm so angry and I said to the BrittanyShe's like, oh no, she walked up. She starts mine. I'm like, pleaseNo, then she walks up and starts just having a bitch off with this lady. Nice mother fucks a lady
45:08To no avail and then we just walk back down. She's like, she's a bitch super loudI'm like, dude, they will kick us off this fucking plane. There's nine peopleStopThey want to yeah, yeah, and dude, we're flying, you know, if you know anything about ProvincetownYeah, it's just the bros dude. It's the boys dude. It's it's literally a provinceNo, Provincetown is like Provincetown, babyIt's gay. It's like a gay beachSo the plane is not it was like four gay dudes in a heterosexual family
45:39So it was a very it was a very funny dynamicThere's a four gay dudes in a biracial family. True. What are you guys on a fucking bank commercial?To be fair, I think interracial is LGBTQ. I was in the gay capital of Cape Cod and I was likeWe're gay. I'm just as woke as any of these guys. Yeah, I was like, dude, this is I pretty much sucked itDude, that is like the gayest place on earth. It dude. It truly it's like it'll be like these big ass fat dudesLike oiled up like riding bikes around with just like a thong on and we were in the off seasonSo it was like, oh my god. Yeah, dude. It's it's they've made a truly beautiful town. It's nice. It is very gayThey dudes will do that dude. It's it's crazy. It looks like fucking Gilmore girls
46:22You're there. It's just like I'm not saying I've watched any of that showYeah, what the hell are you guys even talking about?It has sorry. I'm friends with the bills, dudeI don't want Gilmore girls, dudeIt has a coin we gave Davis. Oh, we were just talking about how gay you wereThe whole time Gabe was like, you know matt sucks. It's so gay, dude. Where is he at in province town?Dude, so we get there cool experience we fly on the nine seater plane. I'm like, damn that dudeIt was like gta. How long was the flight?
46:5530 minutes. How scary was the flight?Two kids. Yeah, too little. I was holding a four month old dude. I was holding a turbulence, dudeSo you ever rode a motorcycle?I have let me tell you about itYeah, of course the bitch fell offNo, I rode a motorcycle literally once and I got on it and thought I could take it on the highway and it's terrifyingBecause you drove it. Yes. I rode. No, no, no. Nice. No, I was I'm more of this kind of guy more of itIt was like a 450 nighthawk. It's a little Honda bike
47:32Dude and when you ride a motorcycleThe when the wind hits your car, do you really hear the wind hit your car on a bike?It physically moves you you feel yourself moving in that little planeWhen we were about to land a gust hit and our plane just went and just moved over to the side and I was likeAnd when they're balancing the wings, it's likeBefore you're gonna land it's likeHoly shit. That's horrifying. Those planes are dangerous. Oh, it was a full. I had a full life. Everybody dies on thoseI don't do any plane that crashes at that point. Before we took off, fucking Britney's like, oh, this is how Aliyah died from a weight issue
48:00And I'm like, shut the fuck up, you fucking kidsI can't imagine that we like when we take the those short flights, usually theCRJ 900Flexing bro. Yeah, I told you this kid was playing vr star wars. Yeah, that's a trusty vehicleBut uh, really even those scare the fuck out of me because there are two rows two seated rowsWhatNo, we're just talking mini planes. We're talking planes couple podcasts are talking mini planes. You wouldn't know a CRJ 900 if itslapped you in the teeth
48:33Dude come on here and make fun of meYou really?No, I had a I had a full like moment where I had to be likeBro, I'm being controlled by the elements right now if the elements want me to liveThey will let me live and that'll just be that this is not in my handsI'd be devastated if my children and I died in this planeUsually that you get to die together. That's fun. That's true. That's trueI was like I was to the level where I was like comprehending the physical impact of the plane. I'm like
49:00I'm okay with thatBut god, that's so bad that my kids are have to go out like a fucking heart impact in a fireball. I'm likeJust so I could go to a wedding and get drunk and play beach volleyball. Fuck you got drunk and played beach volleyballDude, so let me tell you what the fellas bro first. So this is the first night we fly in on a cool planeI'm like that was a lot of fun. We get to an air bnb britney. It's all cottages up thereIt's like these these like cedar shingle cottages on like the dunes. So we have what we're overlooking the bayIt was so fucking nice and it's the off season too. So it's like these places. They're not that they're like a hundredhundred bucks a night
49:35so we get up thereAnd we get in i'm like damn i'm pumped on the cottage. I'm like this is sick and thenSo I knew the groom friend of the groomHits me up also my bro. He's like, yo, we're going over to their house tonightI thought it was like a little like an intimate like couples gathering. So i'm like, you know, my god, cool. I'll goYou know ripping the high noons hitting the vape. Whatever. I'm cool. I'm getting ready to go over thereYes, britney the last minute goes. I'm too tired and I said, babe, you goOh, dang
50:02Babe, that's all right, and I go just take you to one. I'm like, I'll go. I'm kind of wiredYeah, I'm gonna go already told him I was goingI'll make it. I'll make a show for I'll go for both of usI get there and it's just like a bunch of people like having a party dude. Have you ever played the game vortex?Yeah, what is it? I thinkDude, no, no, no, no, maybe that's wrong. It's truly the ultimate drinking. So I get thereYou know, I'm push also. I'm pushing a Honda odyssey. By the way, that's what we were in itSo it's like dreams come true all around
50:28Honda odyssey nice. I'm risking a minivan DUI. I'm in my element, bro. I'm having a good timeFuckI'm just imagining myself in a bed againstDude, so I I get there it's a sick fucking place. It's in like the middle of like it's a very secluded two out thereIt's like it's cool. Where were you in the cake in the cake? I was in true row true rowSo, I don't know. It's just this is the area. It's like near the bay. So I'mI get to the thing. It's an actual party. I'm having a good timeSomeone hands me a hard kombucha. I'm like, dude. Thank you. This is very nice. Damn, dude. It was great
51:07So we it was just the girl might have died on the CessnaI might have diedYour wife's like I can't make it to the partyLike we sorry we're out of almost everything other than spiked kombuchaThere was like an underground movement of girls handing me gluten-free drinks. That was very niceIt was very very sweet. So then dude, so funI'm having a blast. We go on the screen porch and then it's time for vortex like I've ever played vortexI said, no, I don't know what that is. Tell me about it, dude. So imagine this table you put like
51:4120 like flip cup drinks, but you know you do beer pong you fill it up like like thatYeah, do 20 of it like, you know, I don't have any cups to us. I was trying to I was trying to rememberSo you're talking red solo cups facing upwards. Yes. Is it like beer pong into it all at once?I'm sorry. No, no, kind of with two peopleBut then in the middle of that there's one cup. That's a one full beer and when you put you pour it inI'll stop guessingI'll tell you what happens. Just tell me I'll stop it's better than you can fucking imagineSo it's like so there's a whole this whole table's full of cups
52:12You know a big cable like like beer pong and then you have two empty cups and one cup in the middleThat's just a full fucking beer. And so what you what you do is you have you can play with literallyWe're playing with like 15 people. So it's like we're all around the tableI have a cup that other person has a cup and you try to bounce your ball into an empty cupSo if you bounce the beer pong ball into the empty cup flip cup and have to jog in the middleNo, yeah, that's what I thought dude. I'm gonna get it. Don't worry, dude. I ISo thenIf you make it on the first shot, you can hand your cup to anyone at the table that you want you get
52:43It's dealer's choiceYes, but if you don't make it then if you know if it takes you say two or three timesYou have to pass it one to the left and here's where it's interestingSo if you're going to pass it to the left if you make your cup and someone next to youHas it made their cup to your immediate left you goWhen slap their cup out from under themYes, dudeSo so then and that person has to take one from the mess of cups at the table chug it then that cup gets in rotation
53:05Here's where the vortex comes if the person next to you makes their cup tooThey can skip back to you and then you can make yours and then smack their cup againAnd someone gets caught in the vortex and they just have to keep chugging while they're trying to make this thingDude, I was watching like uh, just like a girlfriend who comes like the family weddingLike I don't know if there's a first time or whatever, but I'm watching it's like just watching people's girlfriends get caught in a vortexPeople are fucking screamingSmacking their cup yelling punishYeah
53:33Just kept it watching people to vortex me like what what dude, it's god damn it was the fucking funniestI was screaming howling laugh. It was the funniest thing in the worldAnd then at the end it comes down to like two cups and everyone's like no no no noNot for the whole beer you watch someone's wife land on that the chug a whole beer and it's likeAnd the way you have someone just goesAs far as I dude it wasThat I was I was screaming smack people's beers. Yeah, dude. I was smacking cups. I was downI was coming down to the why I was like
54:01Confronting down to the why or stuff dude. I was it was crazy. It wasSo much fucking fun. We have to play that sometimes. We have to as soon as I got I was like we have to play this gameI'm bringing this game back, dude. It's we should uhYeah, we should do a nightcast. Yes, we should do a night. Yeah a drinking game nightcast. Yes, dudeYou got to get lamese in there. Yes, dude. I need to disembowel him in a chugDude vortex is the as I did at the late at the late bar. Please. Can we play vortex? It is theYou don't have to pull my armI really want to play too. I'm jealous of this party right now. I was at the beach playing drinking games, dude
54:35I'm telling I thought of youThat was sick though. Oh, that was the best. I know dudeI'm telling you I was like I have to bring this game back. This is theFunnest fucking shit ever. So I do that that night. I get out. I leaveSo then I you know, I take the pile the the the odyssey back. I took the odyssey, broYes, so I'm going back and then I'm like driving home and I'm not likeObviously, I'm not like fucked up. I mean the state of massachusetts might have had some pseudoscience commonwealth might have saidThey might have busted out some pseudoscience about blood alcohol content and hit me on a fucking some bullshit decimal point
55:11Come on. Are you five times? Yeah, get the fuck out of the burgerWhat'd you do on the way back? You were close to burger if I seen a burger. I would eatNow I know the risk though. It's you know, you could just get executed by the stateWhile eating a burgerDude, so I'm driving home. I'm like, well, luckily I'm out in the woods. There's no cops outI pass. I look I think it's someone pulled over. I'm like sucks for you, brotherI look over my rear view. It's just two cops talking. I'm like, I just go purely white. I'm likeFuck you can afford a d.y. I catch a dewy. I could I could and I'm out. I'm out. Yeah
55:45We need a I'm out. Yeah. We need a mug shot. I'm out. Yeah mug shot merchMug shot merch would pay for the d.y. It's being incredible. TrueDude, so I I I get back again. State of Massachusetts. Obviously again, I'mPhysically, I'm okay to drive. I know everyone says this but truly I was yeahI was like I was more as the vape pen was kind of the issueBut the um, which also makes me okay to driveand IThe weed helps it makes me focus better. So then I
56:14I get in I'm pulling into the driveway area of where I'm at and another cop passes me and I'm likeWhat the hell but I accelerated in the driveway hit park and I saidI don't care what you guys do over here, but I'm home base. So legally under state of Massachusetts lawI'm good. Yes. Commonwealth. Good night. Commonwealth. Excuse me. Commonwealth wall dude. So I get in night oneunbelievableNight two beach volleyballOh, dudeBeach volleyball this they plan the best wedding ever and it's funny too because I know when you're it's your wedding
56:44You hate every second of it like every second of everything. So I was just kept being like bro. I know this sucks for youBut I'm having so much fun. Thank youDude played beach beach volleyball. That was un-fucking-believable how fun that was. Yeah, beach volleyball is the bestThen it slides into a picture. It was your lady with you. She was thereBut beach volleyball is the best time to fall in love with a girl on the other teamYeah, true on your team. It's so nice to fall in love with a girl. Yeah, man. Just hitting the ball being likeOhTrue it was mostly all dudes
57:19Mostly all dudes, but I would agree. I could seeI mean, I I made I fell in love once playing beach volleyball. Did you really? Yes, then she gave me a head on a sailboatDamn, yeah, it was pretty sick except there were a lot of bugs out at nightMy legs got chewed up worth it, dude, and I denied it. I was getting munched by flies and she was like, are you getting bit?I was like, noThen I shined my light down to see it and my legs were covered in bugsThat's gotta be good blood though. It's gotta be good bloodIf you're flying some guys getting head and his blood has always weird chemicals. They're probably like, oh my god
57:51You better get down there. This guy's getting his dick sucked on a boatThis is greatThey say take it like a drop of your blood and they're like, whooFucking great right nowBut yeah, dude, there's beach volleyball slides into a nighttime pig roast. I mean, dudeThis is this didn't even start the wedding was the next dayI get hit and the whole time we had the kidsSo Brittany would leave take the kids back to old McCusker to hang out. We also brought a babysitter, which is clutch
58:16Yeah, so we had someone there tooFlew her broFlew the babies and we do that's baller. You have to flying out the babysitter. It's such an indulgenceIt's such an indulgence, but I do it every timeThen we begin to have fun. Yeah, of course you guys good. I'm fucking I'm outThat's awesome. I was feeding seagulls on the beach making fuckingSee creature storms, dude, it was tight. You made some creature stormsI took Maya down dude. Me and Maya
58:41You and your daughter made a creature storm. It was so fuck. That's very sweet. God. It was sickBut dude the wedding this I did dude the wedding was truly a transformative moment for me personallyI always have personal transformations at weddings every wedding I go to I justTotally different. Yeah, dude. I seem differentThank you. Yeah, I can tell there's a glow about you dude. I witness loveI've been having yet true. It was there was a very loving atmosphere that I I tap into that all the timeA wedding. This was a truly loving atmosphere. I've been to weddings before where it'sI tapped into the loving atmosphere while I was on mushrooms. Did you yeah, it was very nice
59:14I started giving myself compliments. That's fucking sick. It was crazy dude. I did my girlfriend was so happyThe taxis at meOh, I won't stop loving you, dude. I forgot about thatLike 9 p.mI won't stop loving youI was in the cape, bro, you know how it is in the cape. Oh, yeah. I was in the cape, broI was late dude. I was laying in bed talking to my girlfriend giving myself complimentsWhen did you get the text? Sunday night, right? I think so. I used to I was a dnb just like
59:49OhDude, I would I would forget I was on I would forget I was that fucked up and then you try to look at your phoneYou know when your mushrooms look at your phone? Oh god. YeahHoly oh, yeah, dude. It's the rick and morty portal, dude. You're fullyOh, no, uh, yeah, I was laying there complimenting myself. It's awesome in like a nice way likeI'm funnyThat's such a nice thing I get to because everybody's gonna die, but I get to helpJust while we're all together I can make people feel a little better for a couple minutes
01:00:27You're the peak experience. I was like in thisEven in mushrooms. I was like, I don't know. This is pretty fucking gayMy girlfriend was like, no, you're fine. It's like, no, it's definitely gay. I was like if I stick my arm outI can't even see my fingersHow long were you how long were you up for?Uh, did you crash or did you I was up to like four a.m.Real maybe three three or four, but I was done. I stopped drinking. Yeah for hours. Don't keep you up, man. I was just likeDude
01:01:00That's that is nice. I've got an Adderall. We took an Adderall before the game. OhI was buzzing your uppers downers and sidewaysYeah, the Adderall broke me. I we were I was standing up. I was standing up. That was the force, dudeI was standing up in the gameAnd you gotta see Harry Harry's body is just like you're a funny looking guy and I mean that, you know, I'mBut you're like you look like you look like Michael sarah. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like a comedy character. Oh my godDude, I took the AdderallAnd I kept on looking over to Shane and going this is where we'd been there for like 15 minutes
01:01:46Going over to Shane and going dude, this is the best I've ever felt in my entire life. Yeah, I was like, yeahAnd then like less than 10 minutes later. I'm like dry heaving running up the steps at the bill's stadiumYou know, like when a dog is about to puke. That's what I looks like, dude. I was likeHave you never taken Adderall before? I was no I gave him a zin. I gave him a sixThe nicotine will fucking kill you. You should become a nicotine chowman, dudeThey have him in the amazon the bros were hitting me up for him the whole night. They're really so good. YeahI was like, you should try lucyJust picked in promo code
01:02:28Oh man, I'm so happy you had that experience, dudeDude in the wedding the the best part was so I met the wedding andSo again, Brittany has to leave put the kids to bed or help out and so I'm like, I hold down the floor hereSo I'm at the wedding I'm by myself and then it's like I'm sitting thereI'm seeing the dance floor and I'm like, truly everyone was deserted at their tables and everyone's packed. It wasn't a humongous weddingThere's a decent size. So I'm standing there by myself and now it's like social anxiety is on a thousandI go, what the fuck what am I gonna do with myself now?What? Well, I'm standing there. I'm like, why are you just standing there?
01:02:59This is what I got to the crux of so I'm sitting there and I'm just sipping red wines all nightI'm smoking my vape penI'm like, dude, why don't because I was I was I was gonna hit the dance floor. I hit thisAnd I don't want to crash the vibe. I know dude. I know I do and then I but I'm feel I have this weird feelingOh, it's get it all the time and I goI'm sitting there by myself and I go, ohI've accessed a deep subconscious shred of thought where I feel unwanted. That's where my social anxiety comes fromI go, dude, same thing. I start talking nice to myself. I'm like, they love the heavy out there or the dance floor
01:03:29Get out there. So I'm like, yeah, dude, I can have fun with everything I got it was a blastI had fun. I sat there by myself and dance for like an hour until Brittany got there and then she got thereI'm like, I'm so glad you're here. Come on. Let's go. Wait, was that your wife? Yeah, Brittany, my wife. OhJust the impression. I had a good, I cheated on my wife. The impression was insane. It was me. Oh, I thought youI'm right on my wife and I was like, so glad you're here.I was like, wait, what? It was me. I ran into her. Extremely disrespectful. No, I thought you saidI thought you were accusing me of cheating on my wife and feeling better at the dance floorHave you put it on?
01:04:07He couldn't fit in this fucking thingHe's huge. Yeah. Yeah, this is like I could imagine you like coming back to the hotel on mushrooms. They're all in it onBut yeah, dude, that was a transformative that was fully transformativeThat's wonderful just being like it had a blast and then she got thereThen it was a fucking bonfire on the beach at the end of it at 10 p.m. Oh, that's awesomeSee any gray whites out there?I was gray white territoryThat's your time doing there. What's that hat?
01:04:36That's floored. Cape coral. I thought it was a Cape Cod. Yo, it's port floored and strong, dudeThey got nailed by the hurricane. They got drilled by Ian floored strongBut yeah, dude, the uh, it was sick. It's sick as fuck, dude. It was so much funWoke up. This is rare. I know there's a rare podcast where we both returned. They had fun. Just man greatSo much fun. Shit's going well. It was unbelievably the funnest timeWe're going to the Cape. I'm getting the boys to the Cape, dudeI'll go to the Cape. We must you would love to take july off next year, dudeYou would get a nice time. You would love it, dude. I'd love to see the guys too. They're down there, bro
01:05:11That was another moment. You guys does make me very happy. There's a lot of gay dudes at the weddingDude, that was another thing. I was getting so my head. I was also too. I was like they had a coffee bar thereSo I was like smoking the vape and crushing wine and I was like, oh the bonfireSo I started crushing coffee at likeFucking like 8 8 p.m. And I was up and then the bride came around. There's a lot of gay dudes there at the weddingIt's a bride came was likeAt towards the end. She was like, dude, we have to do the fucking flower tossShe like was kind of against I think she was just kind of like this whole thing
01:05:38She left the guys inSo she I think has kind of like, uh, oh, yeah, I have to do it. She got the boys up there to be a littleShe likes it nowIt's the only people who heated the call or made a bunch of gay guysSo we get up and I'm at I'm with the boys, dudeAnd there's like one or two girls there. I'm with the boys and I'm like, I want my second marriage boyYou have to catch this dude. I'm like, I kept saying to the boys. I'm like, I'm on my second marriage boysThe third one's gonna wear it. There's a fuck with them, dude
01:06:01And they were like they were cackling and then it just launches overhead and the girl caught itWe're all like fuck you got moss by a girl. Yeah, dudeShe they she you remind me of Fitzpatrick trying to catch the ball against my dear friend Gabe DavisShe is ripping the flowers out of your handThat was another I did I was what there were so many gay dudes there and I was like watching them and I was like, dudeThese guys got crushed dude got crushed. I was just what I could in my head. I could seeJust the fucking level of just non-stop decades of bullying in their faceAnd I was sitting on the edge of the dance floor like
01:06:37I was feeling for himIt's feeling for the boys. I was like, dude, you know, I have in the time of their lives, dudeThey were dancing they're on boats with each other. That was part of the thing. I'm like, I think they had aLike a trial by fire where they've been completely just eviscerated. Yeah into there. We're like, dudeYou can't hurt me anymore. I'm gonna dance as hard as I can on this danceMeanwhile, I'm sitting there straight as hell being like, I don't think anybody wants me hereDeep down inside you got out and cut a rug got out. What type of moves are you doing?Bro, I was grip walking at one point. You grip walked. Yeah, I was crippling you might
01:07:09IIt was decent, bro. And but I the thing is I overdid itI did it once everyone was like, yeah, and then I just kept grip walking to bring me grab me by the armI was like, dude, stop a couple of the players caught me sass and lamar trying to do the grittyWhat a great time good times. Yeah, how do you feel you're usually a anxious little guyWhat do you mean?How do you feel about the weekend? You have a nice time. Oh, I had a blast. Anyway, you did so well on stage. Well, thank youYeah, yeah, I didn't know I thought sass might suck
01:07:50I did I did son of a boy that I said those guys are funny as hell. Oh, they areThat was the best episode we've ever doneDude by a mile. I told you I said you're a comedy podcaster, broI saw I said you're a fucking comedy podcast. You're a comedy genius. You've been tweeting since you were six grade trueYeah, I feel like ass right now. You still feel bad about the weekendWas wetting profusely actively speaking of the moshies hit me with the sweats when I got back to the hotelfull sweatsIt's crazy. Yeah, that's when I hit the mirror. I was like, whoa
01:08:24I can't imagine looking in the mirror while in mushrooms. You should do it onceIt's I don't think I could handle it. I have the other half of that candy barI'm gonna eat that in las vegas. That's pretty sick and that's gonna be a mistakeYeah, it'll be funny. That's like the one idea. I was like the whole the whole city is davin buster'sTrue, that's gonna fuck you up truly davin buster's cityWith with the cardi b. YeahVegas you should invite gabe. You should invite gabe davis outDude, don't talk about my fucking bro like he'll tell me to do this friend. Don't tell me what me and my best friend is to do
01:09:01WhoashitWe should switch to the page. Yeah, let's switch over. Oh, we don't read any fucking ads. We'll do we'll do salt. We'll do uhWhat you call us?Yeah, we'll cut them inGo join the page honor. I for real. I'm gonna come to your house with a weapon. Yo, seriouslyIt's about that time for us to start going to people's houses and committing assaultThe chinese communist party dude is coming and pulling people out. Yeah, fishnet them
01:09:25He's tossing a net on a guy in public. He's a Poseidon daggerGood byeThank you, buffalo bills
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