Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 417 - Orc King (feat. Adam Eget)

Episode Date: November 12, 2022

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Fuck fuck I forgot he vanished Hey How's everyone doing welcome to our podcast true we were just watching all quiet on the Western front So if we're a little solemn you understand frazzled it how fucking good is that though unbelievable? I went on I got a little excited. I tweeted it was the best war movie Since saving private Ryan I added that caveat even though I believe it's better. Yeah, I got a lot of pushback Did why just people like full metal jacket platoon? I said since private Ryan you fucking dumbass. Yeah read the whole tweet also I don't know. I just I prefer it. Yeah, it's really it's not that Spielberg fucking like horns playing in the background

It's just a day Yeah, it's all I need it was most intense fucking thing I've ever seen was very intense so intense that's even I think it's Although saving private Ryan opening scene is fucking intense dude That was it was incredible when it came out exactly it came out when it came out you gotta give it that too Oh, absolutely when that opening scene saving private Ryan came out. It was like holy. Yeah, fuck. I remember my fifth grade I was like, yeah, I was in high school me and my buddies were like, dude Let's get fucking stoned out of our goddamn minds and go see this movie

Worst idea of all day. Do you want to know the worst idea? Apparently, I think this is true Spielberg had a screening for vets of World War two Oh I swear to God, I think that's true And they all had to sit there and be like, yeah, this happened JK JK it definitely happened obviously it happened Allegedly, it's just funny to pretend it It's funny that's what people don't understand. What's funny?

Problem so dumb right to be a Holocaust To sit around and be like Me the idiot when it comes to counting millions of people I've been yeah, I've been called a Holocaust and I are many for really really yeah, cuz that The same joke how dumb it is to be a fucking Holocaust and I it's a joke. I'm not really a holocaust What was the joke to him norm just kept referring to me as a Every guest Larry King Yeah, I'm fucking this guy says a fucking you look at the photos the smokestacks and the shadows they don't

Oh So he got into it, he knew yeah, I knew we knew going into it It started out as this great bit where he was doing like a Ventriloquist act. Yeah, and his dummy was a Like the traditional ventriloquist act and then in between the guy be like I can't just deny the holidays He would hit with like yeah, like talking points about like the gas chambers If you have any concept of like the smokestacks weren't there

Anyway, the info is waiting for people dude You want some fucking wild parcels of information it's a bad time to get into it now I'd say all I'm trying to say Stop the steel. That's all that's all I'm trying to stop the steel. Yeah, bro our democracy I couldn't sleep last night. I'll see about it. Thanks for the Democrats one. Otherwise democracy was over Yeah, I was so relieved thankfully the red wave didn't happen because the democracy would have ended Stop the racist. I'm saying I saw the racist I would do the exact same thing It'd be bayonets. It'd be grenades. It'd be World War one style. I'm fully abacating murdering the Republican Party

Yeah World War one. So yeah, huh? Also a funny joke. All right. We got slow down Dude, I saw the I watched it in did you want to talk about a sad day? so we went out to Also last week did I talk about the World Series? We didn't do a podcast since I don't know went to the World Series Then drove out the fucking Fort Wayne, Indiana did two shows and then did the Notre Dame game But Fort Wayne is when I watched in my hotel. I watched all quiet on the Western front. I walked across the street There's like a famous hot dog place. I got two hot dogs and a bowl of chili

Took it back to my hotel room sat there and watched all quiet on the Western front and I cried Astros winning the World Series is literally the worst thing that's ever happened in all time Flamethrower fuck. Yeah, there's a scene coming up right after the one we turned off. It's like not made me cry and it was like Yeah, sitting in a dark hotel room eating fucking soggy hot dogs watching World War one is like in the middle of the country Fort Wayne and they got to go do a show the drive-over all in my head was just Late night Fort Wayne show

There's no security at this fucking club. Oh, and if there is I'm not trying to trash the club Sure, sounds like you are well. I mean they deserve a thrashing after what they did late the last show we did the first three shows were great the last show we did Security is not doing much people are obliterated the people in Fort Wayne look like they're from the Civil War Security the Democrats the Democrats a point of them. Yeah, they just sat back and said well We're not gonna persecute anybody. We'll just lock up all the items in the store Don't get me started pulled the pin and It starts with a lady up a lady in the back

I can't really see her that you can tell she sounded ugly She's like show us your tits. She'll show us your tits like early. I was like great. Oh, no, here's the what it where it started So Tommy's on stage I hear a loud fart noise. I thought it was a fart. I'm like awesome. Yeah, this is great Somebody ripped like the hardest part possible then I realized it was the one of the waitresses going With her fucking hands. What and I'm like, okay, that's fucking crazy Yeah, as soon as I get on stage. I'm like, hey, how are you? Yes. What? It was funny

During a show while I got on stage. I was like, hey, everybody I hear the fart again, and I'm like was that the fucking waitress again and the manager stay on the corner He's like, yeah, should I fire her and I was like, I mean, yeah Definitely, but it's your club dude do whatever Holy shit That lady in the back starts chirping with like a weird cigarette southern accent like yeah I was like, all right lady. I was like, I can't see you you said and some guy was like, she's fucking She sounds ugly, but I can't see you ma'am. I'm not calling you ugly. She's okay

Keeps going. She's talking the whole time. Then a civil war vet in the front starts chirping talking big beard flannel trucker had just Staring at me like the whole show dead eyes. He was a fan, but he was he was obliterated. He's like You can't gloss over you call dude civil war they were all Every dude in Indiana has this beard and skinny is like they're malnourished and flannel So he starts chirping I'm like, dude, please shut the fuck up This is that now we're a half hour into the show that's been a pure nightmare a dude Projectile vomit's on to the floor, but it's so loud. You can hear it splashes on the ground It sounded like someone dumped a beer on the ground

And then I was like, holy did somebody just throw up in the whole middle of the rooms like yeah Someone threw up and the guy just puts his head back down The manager comes out finally with security. We're 35 minutes into the show. I'm like, there's been security this whole Mexican dude wearing a security Security this whole fucking time Kick this guy out. So they say they have to stand the civil war vet up and kick him out I'm like puke guy. You can stay and he sat up Oldly the lady's style I was like the show's over

35 minutes in I was like actually you know what I'm not gonna stand up here and do fucking impressions Yeah, well, this is people like dude Trump That's that guy I'm leaving shows done. I've never done that in my life. I mean, how long did you do? I was I mean, I still only I probably had like 10 15 left, but I was like, that's it Yeah, I need to stop I would like start a bit and be like this is never gonna work. Yeah Fast forward now. It's like all right. I'm five minutes left. What was the Mexicans security force up to? Honestly, I think Beezer was with him outside smoking. Oh Yeah, I think the bees was out in there. There was like a

Walk-in freezer that they were all sitting in outside when we left Like this is what you guys you guys all right classic I'm a surprise that a Mexican security agent got compromised. I would think they'd be way more. Yeah, you think he'd be in High alert. Yeah. Yeah But also I was sick. I got sick from Tommy Tommy had Tommy showed up on Monday at the bar before we went to the World Series Sick. Yeah, I come up told me he's like I'm fucking sick You do like not see I wasn't here, but you know half serious like a step back. He's like, it's not contagious asshole He's like I get it like this every year. Well, yeah, you get sick

That's always like no, this is like an internal sinus My body manifested a cold So I'm sick up there, I'm losing my voice and people like yeah, dude Trump. Oh my god. Oh I hate this pull the plug pull the ankle pull the plug got off stage the man that guy's like, I'm sorry I was like, yeah, kick people out dude. Yeah, that's people are talking tell them to be quiet. He's like, oh, okay He goes noted. I can't I still can't believe I got that's rule number one. That's your only fucking job I mean, it's harvest time though. All the farmers are drunk. Yeah far. They did all their work And now they're gonna just ready for a long

That's a need an ale in them. Yeah, I don't they took it out on me Traitor's blowing raspberries during the set. That's crazy. I've never heard of anything even remote. I can't Try to find a husband She's in heat dude, yeah, it's ovulating. She had a rip ass in our hands. It was The fort was funny. Yeah, when I'm doing Tommy said I was like ha ha, but I thought it was well Then when I found I was a waitress. I was like, that's fucking crazy. Yeah That's infinitely funnier than anything. I'm gonna say tonight. How did Tommy react to that? He didn't know he couldn't hear it, but he did notice during his set half the room started laughing

Because they thought it was it sounded it was good. She was good at it. That's what sounded like a legit for it That's crazy. It's also in your head. You're like, there's no way someone's doing that. No, right Yeah, no fucking staff. Yeah, no no woman. Yeah, that's like let alone True it's too many too many variables Girls usually hate funny farts. Yeah, especially just unnecessary the absolute funniest stuff I asked I asked a pretty about that my wife. I was like So you're telling me she's constantly drilling me about how it's not funny when I fart as hard as I can while we're talking in bed And I'm like, no, you're wrong. It's actually very funny

She's like dude, you don't like but you squat all the way down and push it out as hard That's why it's funny I was like, so if you're with like your friend if you're with like your girlfriends and one of you farts What's the reaction? She's like we'd be pissed. I'm like that sucks She was just kind of like yeah, it's not like nobody's like cheering that on it's just kind of like I shouldn't go on through life like that She might have just been trying to win the art. I think girls would be like, oh my god No, the women I yeah, they're they're usually terribly ashamed when they fart with vicious fart It's not I guess it's not funny for them if you're at a bachelorette party you're like

God Rebecca and girl. Yeah, we've covered this girl farts our dog It'd be like that warehouse of 60 dead kids They've been gas Don't get me sorry on World War one. I'm so excited about World War one right now. It's fucking crazy Yeah, great war the great war dude didn't look so nice. They did it twice You know, let's run that back. That was alright. Yeah, I could have been better Like I could have been better It is wild to know that that was everybody's kids in World War two like those dudes did that and then they're like

Then they're like, oh fuck my son's got to go do that. Oh Yeah Jesus, but yeah, then you see what the Germans were up against or what they did in World War one and you're like, alright I see how Why they were a little ticked. Yeah, they're pissed off. They got home and they were like fuck this Yeah, I mean they just died for nothing all of us died all our friends died horribly for nothing. Yeah, who did this? Yeah, they started brainstorming they got together they had a couple Bruce keys they'd go to the beer halls and be like I'm gonna get up and give a speech

Give speeches at beer halls They all had PTSD Wondered sometimes if it's just like a phonetic thing it has not it's just like the like saying that it's like the English did this It's like, okay, what else you got like the Jews and it's just something like phonetically appeasing to be yeah, yeah German you didn't yeah The Fort Wayne crowd is who he was I'm gonna hit their speech Yeah, dude, I was I was listening to the book on the way up and they were talking about how they were like fully

No, not like that's all that's next Yeah, what it's just driving Like a good podcast I could listen to on this Yeah, I'll just listen to have an eight hour drive. I'll listen to mine for eight hours What's funny is they probably like welcome to audible. Yeah Narrated by is Mine comp I Bet they break on that one. They're like, all right now before we get started. Yeah, this is bad

Yeah, I wonder who wrote that get it forward forward forward by mine comp 12th edition Mel Gibson It is crazy watching that fucking scene and thinking about World War one World War two All those you know those both those generations and now it's like people getting offended for someone saying They're fat. Yeah, but they used to get offended. They they would just get offended at a black guy in a cafe So, you know, everybody's always been like, oh, yeah, I want to edge. Oh my How dare you you survived trench warfare and you're like get these black people to fuck out They gave them no perspective

Yeah, yeah, it's pretty nuts But yeah, they're saying how in the book how like they're all like dude our dads and moms know what's up This is this these guys are awesome and their teachers are like, yo, this is what you need to do They're like for sure. Yeah, and they saw they started seeing people get their heads blown off and they're like, oh Dude, these guys completely fucking blew it. They have no idea. What's going on? Well, there's also that size. They did have no idea because they thought it was old war They thought it was gonna be like you'd stand in line and shoot a rifle Yeah, charge at them valiantly like men and fucking ten of you die. Yeah. No, there was like now you charge into a machine gun

Now you're done. It's over 40,000 man. Yeah Fuck that was the most disturbing part of the movie how they show like how like the factories and stuff played into it And how they're doing they're taking the dead, you know, yeah Yeah, yeah industrialized war and the bureaucracy of dudes with manila folders being like you know, it's about 40,000 people Yeah, Jesus get out of my office Now it must be crazy the level it's on now with like computers and shit Yeah, just like clicking an email and being like, yeah, it's about a hundred thousand people. That's what now It's you don't lose. We don't lose anybody

That's good. That's a good thing. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, well the other the other guys do yeah They're still getting letters Yeah, true that's got a stink, you know the fucking debt are listed on walls and caves. Yeah, they don't have anything that's sad Yeah, no, that's it's it's pretty sad Yeah, that's it's also kind of like this isn't we're getting into we're getting into the thick of it But it's like it's like pre-World War one. It's like we have the the machine gun. We have the maximum gun Yeah, so they were like that was like a saying they're like we have a machine gun So it doesn't matter because they were always fighting against fucking clone colonies. Yeah, it's like them versus Zulu's

Right. Oh, well if shit goes bad, you just Like yeah, but now both sides have it so now everyone's fucked Yeah, so it's kind of the same thing with modern war where we're like we might lose 2,000 people We're gonna kill a hundred fifty thousand. Yeah, we're gonna win. We're gonna win now if both sides have that capability Could slip back into something pretty nasty. Yeah, I'm saying how about that? Well, they say they're building the space fucking insightful. I am You know about warfare, you know about warfare. I think now true

You got the syllabus Yeah, you did I went to West Point you do that. Oh, that's right West Point but wait for how long dude. Don't ask don't ask a soldier about war. Yeah, please don't ask me about that Yeah, dude, that shit's fucked up That's so fucked that whole movies fuck the book is fucked. Yeah, the book It sucks. They don't put that scene in there the book opens with them Ready to they're all ready to chow down. They just lost like half their company Yeah, the guy makes food for 160 people and there's only 80 of them the cooks like I'm only feeding 80 of you

And they're like fuck that dude your feet a whole company. We're eating double Yeah, the cooks and they they're like stop eating a fucking pussy and they get like double cigarettes double sausage You know like yes this fucking rules. Oh my that's how the book starts out with them Just pigging and being like well today's pretty cool. Yeah Half of us died yesterday grub grub was so fucking good back then dude if you just didn't eat you'd be like I don't care that half of us died. That was crazy. You get to get double soup, dude Double six I get four cigarettes you fucking dude They were pissed too because like their chefs are supposed to like be running food up towards like the trenches

Yes, I remember this and they were like that guy was a fucking pussy He wouldn't run the soup up and there's one chef who would fucking run with the pot of soup. Yeah, and like here you guys go and run back What a fuck what an animal dude running up the bean soup Oh, you're above the trenches Beans When they'd have the drummer like back and so like why do you need a drummer to March brother? Cheer he had radio. You need to march on the beat. They each there were signals. You needed to be you need to hear you communicate

The whole group needed to hear like oh, this is this order. This is this order. Yeah. Oh, that's why you're a fool. Yeah, kind Yeah, sometimes they just like to the jams Element to it too if I'm like kind of questioning whether or not I want to like go face that guy and it's like Oh my god, I guess I'm gonna need the bayonetta guy. I need to be running the 808. Oh, that was Dude, that would be the worst job ever to be the drummer in the fucking war imagine if you just went wow Flag holder flag holder would have a tough one You know the thing was if you survived you know, like what'd you do like I held the flag the whole time Oh, that was like that was the biggest. Yeah. Yeah, and then if he died someone had to go get to pick it up

You got your gun. I pretend I pretend I didn't see it. Yeah, that's for sure What I'm like, I'm not fucking trading my gun for a flag. Are you out of your mind Confederate flag? This is like kind of racist. Yeah. Yeah, they were a tiny bit kind of Oh Yeah, if you lost your colors, dude, if the other if another brigade stole yours. Yeah battle. Oh, how he millies to cry That's a bit of a devastating Little they know it truly didn't matter it didn't matter Matt In terms of winning and stuff. Oh the flag part. Yeah, I'm with Matt on. Yeah

I saw the today I was in a coffee shop and I saw they had they added unfortunately the like that new fucking Like sign of like science is real. Love is love. We in this house around here. No, this is my Philadelphia Dude and I was sitting there just kind of like dude, it's literally, you know, like you see a crucifix now And you're just like that's like new crucifix now like people have it's like charge and it's like yeah This is our thing and I was I was getting so unsettled. Oh, I'm gonna ask them Like can you take that down, please? It's making me uncomfortable. That's fucking yeah So because dude the thing they don't put on there is like and also if you disagree you're a fucking piece of shit Fuck you. I hope you fucking died. It's really implied when you say science is real. Yeah, dude

It's like, yeah, dude. I was wincing I was in line is going the ladies like can I help you and I was like How often I wonder how often she sees that face throughout the day looking at that sign Yeah, I'm just like it is funny because the science is real is in the room Then behind the register is a girl who's in her 20s that has crystals Why are they all all the science is real people they all believe in astrology and all that fucking horse That's a great point. That's fair. I'm like I'm reading a book in astrology right now There's people trying to make it that astrology was like big like building a science for hundreds of years We finally dished it but people are trying to have it. Oh, it's coming back. It's the people are trying

You probably billies into it. Well, yeah, was at least smud was in it. You'd be like a sagittini, dude they talk I Gotta it's in my rotation right now. I'm not that deep into it But the guy was basically like dude There's a lot of bullshit astrology, but if you can get into like the geometry of the planets and all this stuff He's like there's some wild that's wild. I haven't gotten into that yet what they are, but this guy wrote a whole book apparently I think Forbes was one of them who gave a negative review and it was a scathing I was gonna shut the fuck up Forbes attacked the guy. Mr. Forbes. Yeah, no, you probably know him. Mr

I don't know Yes, we do what do you guys do you get together just count our gold you guys hiss at each other Hello, I'm Sean Gardini legendary comedian and tobacco addict Like all great men I use nicotine products to enhance my mind and creativity Remember when they said that tobacco caused a bunch of nasty health issues Well, I'm not a doctor, but I have a hunch that a lot of that stuff was made up by girls Anyway, who he who even cares unexpected deaths have actually risen sharply in the last two years And I have no idea what could have caused that

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Fuck Dude they brought Kyrie down pretty bad Dude he watched the thing that was on Amazon. Yeah, he got hit pretty bad. You're gonna tack him for being a prime member Ship I don't think that went down as the number one reason scrolling. Yeah, it was in his recommended feed probably They asked me you're your prime member. I'm like who's asking dude, so I'm checking out Maybe I maybe I'm not maybe not now see your handshake or what? Define good content He watched the wrong content again

But wasn't he denying the Earth is round like a couple seasons. He got caught up, bro. Let him go. Yeah caught up You better watch what you say about Kyrie, dude. Why you just called him that Orward. Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's an African-American. Yeah, and he's also retarded to be fair We're gonna need we're gonna need a you know an in-depth We used to think that you know the earth was the center of the universe We we're gonna we have big earth shattering revelations all the time right, but the earth is definitely not for sure for sure We know that so we've been told but I mean You know people used to think that they know the Sun was a center, you know, we had the company

Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, maybe the next Copernican revolution is that black people are Jewish? Maybe not I don't know. I'm applying the scientific method. I'm all doubt our science is real guys. I'm all doubt I'm all doubt. Yeah, maybe maybe women are Jews. I don't know dude Women are the true I That's gotta be so funny though Is that kind of weird when you hear people try to claim be like no where the Jews are you like I don't think of I'm like Well, yeah, if somebody says something just wrong, you're like, all right. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, and also it's not gonna change anything

No, yeah, you can be like we're the two boys. It's like. Oh, well, then here's hollywood Yeah, you know, here's the bank's here's the keys. I don't fucking get a check Yeah, I still live in a fucking one bedroom apart. It doesn't like I don't know where it gives a fuck Yeah, I do like it. We've said a new precedent. Thanks to the Jewish people. What's that African-Americans that can indeed be racist? Oh, that hadn't been settled yet. That is true. Well, yeah, I think now people like to say anti-semitism But remember we'll be go over gotten trouble for saying that being Jewish wasn't a race. Yeah Oh, I do remember those white people white people. Yeah. Yeah, but she said Jews aren't a race Then they said no Jews are a race. Yeah, and now that would imply being anti-semitic is racist

so Kyrie and Kanye are being racist, but they're being white African-Americans can be racist. It's only if they're being white supremacists. That's the only thing black people can be racist if they're being a white supremacist That's their connector. That's that I don't know being racist. Do you know they're white? It's white people. They're still being white. I remember the OG. It's from 4-5. It took me a second. From 4-5. Yes I remember the OZ. That's true. Kyrie Irving was Professor Griff from Public Enemy. Yeah, and they kicked him out of Public Enemy There's been some OG. I mean, oh, yeah, Jayla Jackson. Jayla Chonka's last album's purely where the true is your lights Yeah, it's a great album. Jay-Z's on there and didn't know it's some shit

I don't understand the controversy behind that saying where the true is your lights. Yeah, I don't understand the controversy I think I think it got they got into some heat because he was not I think you can just go around you can say where the true is You know, yeah, there's no problem. I don't think it cares. It's when you add to control the media and Hollywood right even though I Just to fate just look at like if they made a yearbook of all the Hollywood producers over there's fine That's like my family tree. Yeah, who cares but their argument is it leads to that slippery slope that ends up in

Well, you can't say slope. I don't think I'm just saying You've gotten in trouble It's my one weakness Yeah, wouldn't there would be another phrase for that Achilles heel, thank you, man Oh, yeah, we also need to stay away from the topic of Kyrie and yay. Yeah, it does us no good to even try to Do anything other than just flat out say those guys are the worst people on earth

Yeah, that's all you need to do. You need to keep your head down when the media decides someone's bad you go Yes, yes, they are bad and I hate them. You look at your science is real poster for 30 seconds ago I'm writing that person off as a human being that person is not dead because they saw a bad documentary Both of them got hit with nasty documentaries. Yeah, you got hit with Canada's Owens doc Yeah, and Kyrie got hit with the oh that was a doc too. He got a lot of his info was from a doc Yeah, okay, but he had been on a thing. He did century of the self He did the Jordan Peters. He's trying shit dude. Yeah, he's trying to figure it out. He almost called his album Hitler Really? Yeah, no

He was trying to call his album. I think it was in like 2015 or something 2015 Someone's fibbing dude. Oh I mean, yeah, look it up. I've read that. Yeah, please Because there was a guy from TMZ. Definitely not bullshit.com When he did the TMZ thing where he said slavery was a choice There was guys who then like now we're like, oh, he also was like big up in Hitler that whole time, too We never said anything. It's like why didn't you guys say anything then he wait? He's right guard dog You

Wanted to name his 2018 album just hitler after the dictator That would have been yay the one he did with a kid Website, oh, let's see. There's like a million articles about it. I think it's a hot button issue now Was that was page six though, so that might be a tablet. So this is all the media is well But he brought that up and who didn't he who was like did that idea get shot down by the owner of his record label good music Sure it got shot down by a few people probably I So I have an idea

The name of my album Hitler no It's a second option A doff. Yeah, yeah, true. Definitely hit him with the fucking Farley What Calling my album hit You lied to me Yeah, I wonder what's gonna happen to him. I gotta come up with a name for my comedy tour Hitler Hitler you go

Hitler the torch he died. He was carrying a flag and he got shot down Funny Yeah, it'll be fun coming up with a name for that. No, I can't a name. Yeah, I can't just do you thought about it comedy Shangela's comedy tour good. It's a good move. That's the worst fucking name. What do you want me to do? No, he's named it by the year it's twenty twenty-three comedy twenty-three comedy tour He does it my struggle my struggle. Yeah, that's a great idea I might Could be laugh at my struggle

Sneak it in Like a little coy but like struggling struggling Mean something to you. They don't know I mean, what could you possibly name it and then have like I mean king of the good times Would be funny to us, but that's pretty gay. Yeah, because people are gonna think I'm serious. Yeah king Mr. Cool pretty sick doesn't it doesn't flow though. Mr. Cool comedy tour Mr. Cool fucking I can't tell if I'm in or out I'm like no, it comes and goes as soon as I said it the first time. It's like hilarious. Yes I know and I said I was taking a shower

People like making graphics about Mr. Cool, I know it would literally be there'd be signs Mr. Cool But they also would have to make signs it's a comedy tour Yeah, but dude if you got if you did like a snowman infographic Were you a photoshopped you onto a snowman? It was Mr. Cool with double thumbs up. That would be pretty nasty. I see I see dude Froze in a wintery scene All right, I'm back on board. Well, that's marketing that's a marketing whiz true There's no other names naming naming a tour is about as lame as it gets either the year or but then when it's anybody else's tour

I'd never I don't think anything about it. True. Yeah, I guess when I see somebody else's name of their tour I'm never like yeah, but what like yeah But if you had to like sum up your year in one word that's that the thought of like putting that out publicly would just reduce me to anxiety Yeah, like what am I what are you gonna put up? Yeah, although that you should put up like I'm gonna fucking kill myself Well tour you're gonna find me in a garage. I will die in a garage I'm going to at least attempt Suicide attempt is not a terrible name for a tour it is that's true the attempt you will be very upset but the attempt could work Sounds like I'm talking about comedy

Not actually just sitting in a Volvo Oh My god, yeah, it's tough and you're not you're right cuz it's like yeah, like anyone like yeah, dude That's what's up, but it's like to try to name it and be like Guys come check out the fucking off the wall check out the off the wall economy tour. It's coming to a town near you guys Yeah, it's tough. That's gonna be tough. I'm gonna have to start doing marketing stuff. Yeah, do it It's gonna be so embarrassing. Dude, that'll be fun I'm telling you have fun with it

Yeah, I mean look at this. This is gorgeous. That's it. You get to you get to make something like that for your tour That's the bro Antonio. I mean Antonio That's great. True. Just do all the juvenile covers or whatever. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Those are sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah Or just fucking keep it Chic yeah, white lettering black background. Yeah, very modern very very modern very minimalistic very Jay-Z black album Yeah, very Kanye Hitler Have you beating up have you like beating Hitler up punching Hitler on the tour

You should be the infographic of your tour should be you traveling back in time to kill Hitler strangling a baby Yeah, don't say anything just me Yeah with his head for sure in his crib you didn't know this baby Hitler Yeah, you ever see Racine did a sketch about it. That's very funny. It was really funny It was a time traveler that came back to kill their kid and they end up killing the time traveler like no Norm used to see he used to do a lot of jokes about that going back in time to kill Hitler Yeah, but he said like he just thinks he would go back and he would you'd be converted Just fall into the gaze of his dark black eyes

The fucking We came up with that on the way to the studio I was like, you know what I'm talking about. It's 420 on their pocket him and norm spot and norms like look he's like 420 He's like you're saying it's about smoking weed. Yeah. He goes to the Wikipedia and he's like, oh Statesman from Reading about he starts reading about it. He's like I'm looking duck

He goes, oh hold the fort hated juice How was it all right you were you cracks the norm thing I'm not how was it you brought him up How funny was it the 9-eleven 9-eleven Airlines, oh my god I looked at I was judging through blood and bones in Manhattan to find my brother turns out he was in Northern Canada 9-eleven Airlines reminds me that tragedy the number one worst airline was 9-eleven tragedy The whole you can get into on YouTube with all of them. It's just crazy He was have you been watching Bernie Mac?

Obviously norm yeah, yeah, yeah, there was a good you can't you can't do when they're at that level. There's no differentiating I can never say this guy's my like Louie Norm Bernie all those guys that are up there is like, yeah, you're like, oh, that was good. Let's watch this guy's and you're like dang That was I mean, yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, it's like I tell very you know canison But yeah, but Norm even before I ever met the guy. He was always my favorite comic. I thought he's brilliant Bernie Mac. There was a guy at skankfest. They had some it wasn't a great show, but it was like Everyone was doing like an impersonation of a dead comic and Some fucking white dude came out as Bernie Mac

Nice what and he actually got killed good at like it was it was it was I He had balls. I'll say that I mean it's getting a lot of hard as he literally could have done black. Yeah, a lot of n-words and I said Oh, yeah, whoa. Yeah balls major, but I'm Jesus Christ. Yeah, it was wild It was pretty wild. I Don't remember really say it in his act. Well, this guy did actually maybe he did No, I don't know if he did dude if he added him in Bernie Mac was so fucking funny Yeah, we just watched a bunch of them the other night and it was like he was effortlessly fun Like everything. Yeah, it was you had a fucking hankie in his hand. Let's be ready. No shot. Let me tell you

I Loved a Robin Harris There's some good ones man, but you know what? Every you know every five years. There's like, let's be real. There's like 10 or 15 great comics. Yeah There's not too many I mean, there's still It's tough to be I think it's really tough to be a great comic on a special Oh, then you go to you go to the comedy store the seller the standard one of these and you sit there

And you watch a night of comedy like damn those who were the fuck was that yeah, they were incredible And then you go you look them up like that. It's good. This guy sucks. That is such a great point I was sitting there like this is it. I found the next this is the next chappelle. This guy's incredible Yeah, and you look him up like fuck I'm an idiot. I Was black This girl's not hot and funny I just like her

There's still that there's that ass, but you know how girls be like women like a guy standing on stage holding like in a captivating room, right? I'll I ate off Hitler It does work the other way too like if I see a girl up there like killing them like I could love her though Yeah, you know, I mean no talking about sex and being a slut. I'm like, yeah, I like it Yeah, I'm not really like that in real life. She's probably just joking dude. She probably hasn't slept with that many guys She probably didn't have a three-way yesterday I could change her Yeah, that's uh, I

Hope you know that'd be crazy What would that if a girl really had that much sex if you know Queens did fuck as much as they say Yeah, that'd be terrible just Yeah, just like an STD like sexual health awareness standpoint That's where I would get word of like you're being safe, right? I hope you're being I hope you're being using protection I love that you're exploring your sexuality, but just be safe. I wonder how much more exploring they need to do Haven't they figured it out? Yeah, I mean how much more than 900 guys according to their standup Yeah, I mean how much more do you know about your butthole, dude? Your butthole works read a book about it fucking comic

Are you talking about? That's all right. We're kind of just making general statements that female comics talk about sex They do yeah as if men don't yeah, it gets us. It gets me worried. Yeah, but for men It's like you don't really sustain any damage during sex. Oh, okay. I hear about women having a lot of sex I worry about them biologically. I'm like, well, I hope you're all right like physically. Yeah, like you can like your anus Are we talking Yeah, you're you're anus could prolapse I'm sure they're fine and damage just relates. I take every female comic aside right after they get off

I'm like, are you being sexually responsible? It's all it's funny for you to fuck funny games up there But real tall real and it's all and science is real. Yo, I know Yes, it's bad for you. I have heard that somewhere. Yeah, I've heard that before Oh, he was ice cube. He got in trouble for some of that being a big thanks in the ass ice cube got down with The is being a black Israeli. Yeah, it comes for all the guys dude. Yeah. Yeah. It comes for everybody It doesn't matter what your race is eventually you're gonna sit down get on the internet and be like, I knew we were the best Right Wait, I see was it was he I thought he's with the like the Muslim Brotherhood. I guess there must be it might be a little

No, I remember he yeah, he was outspoken about Judaism the media and and those There's another thing with rappers is like Their only introduction to Jewish people is oh, yeah, Jerry Heller just guys ripping them the fuck That's a pretty good point. Yeah. Yeah, like Kyrie. Well, I don't know Kyrie went to Duke He probably he was around some honks. Oh, yeah, just regular honks that weren't ripping them off Oh, but I think he hangs out with Farrakhan or something or is that Kanye the honorable the honorable Eliza Farrakhan

I mean, do we have to is that a fish? Do we have to call him honorable? I would I mean I do He's a he's a you know, it's not like you're an aided you don't If I were you I would not I find him disagreeable Disagreeable Lewis Farrakhan, that's what I refer to Sharp dress guy a real sharp dress fella Distinguishing glasses. Yeah, he's

I forgot about that Farrakhan really dislikes Jewish people. Yeah, he sure does What was this what was like, what's his problem the Jews? Yeah, there's that age old Long history of people hating Babylonians were the ones who kind of freed them I think wasn't it was at the 70s It was Jews are good Good bros. We have some good look just like every race

Couple a few Couple a couple bad eggs crowd in Indiana Hitler was a bad egg. He was true. Yeah True, right? Hitler was a pretty bad egg You can make you can make that all agree on that. Yeah, I would say he's Disagreeable Adolf Hitler Not too many. Yeah, he was he was a mega jerk He was a mega jerk

Can't leave a whole country listen to him. Yeah. Well, I can you watch World War one You're like, yeah, I see how this country was fucked. Yeah, every dude that came back from that like hit their wives and was Out of his mind screaming every day at night. Yeah fucking my brother freaked me out with that the other day He was saying how he like it was he went down a weird rabbit hole and was like, yeah, dude They're must like just like 40 years ago. There was dudes like probably conceiving kids from raping their wives. Jesus just quietly And just like it was just yeah, yeah, we're gonna blame that on Hitler, too What's going on? No, we're just saying the dude's lack of awareness back then was astounding It was like even like just going back to your grandfather's lack of awareness, probably it's hard to fathom that's what he was hitting

Yeah, they're fucking me up and it's like your grandparents. Yeah, no, I refuse to believe that's why you got to give it up for your Your pop to break the chain. That's what I'm saying That's what I'm saying even one of you for pot makes like a fucking five-yard rush up the middle It's like dude. Nice way to go. That's that's big. It's better than what your grandpa was throwing a deep average My grandfather did have a cracked skull at college But I didn't even crack this skull and then my whole family was like, wait, why is he so mean? Well, you just because he got fucking brain CT when he was 19. Yeah Every story about him. He was like six five. It was a month. He lived in a creek in mechanicsburg. He just emerged

And He's in the woods in the mountains in a creek a car would stop and he'd come out Dude, I'm reading a book right now. It's called zen in the art of motorcycle. Oh, yeah, pretty good I never read that in fuck decades. Oh, I thought you were being a cunt. You read that. Oh, yeah It's like the 90s. I didn't know anything about it. Apparently he's a huge like, yeah Massive worldwide seller, but that's in the 70s. I think the guy wrote it and he's like talking about zen But then he's also talking about beating his son who has mental health issues He's like, he just wants you to go in rakes

His son was asking for he was basically saying like, you know, he wants he wants to be hit God Freak Daddy It's pretty sick. It's just him being it's it's this guy talking about like how nobody cares about Maintaining technology and they're all dependent on it and there's being posers. That's right. Zana. He's just like, dude, shut up He's like farmers use technology and they're they don't need it Yeah, he's like, you're like you would die in a week. Shut up

He's pissed because his son-in-law won't learn how to fix a motorcycle when he's like, dude, you're such a pussy for not doing this Oh, the man. Okay, dude And he's just like, I'm gonna beat my son. Excuse me And then talks about Who wrote it again? Phil Jackson Let's cross Robert Persig. Oh, yeah He also started like this weird website that got taken down after he died Huh?

Yeah, some way he like advocate. He's like check out my website in his book and it's down I also I stumbled across a website this week It was a chinese intellectual website that started in 1999 got taken down in 2000 I found it on like the google time capsule or whatever And then the lady had to write it letter why it got taken down It's like the government did not make me take this down because they were like sharing like social political issues Sounds like there's like that one uh, olympian that clearly got raped by like a chairman in china

Yeah Like I don't know about chairman or whatever term is something Some funny someone said that they someone most likely said an emperor is thrown at some point in the parliament Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and then she had to write a letter. Do you remember this? No, there was a girl. What was she a gymnast? Oh, that's fucked up. She clearly was she spoke out was like that guy sexually assaulted me And then she disappeared for like a month and the only thing that came out was like a letter that was like I wasn't telling the truth Yeah, it was like this lady wrote a letter

It was a tennis play this lady wrote a letter that was like, yeah, it definitely was the first thing was it was not Everyone thinks the government made me shut it down. The government had nothing to do with it. They're totally cool with us sharing Like you know like good ideas, but I go against the communist party think tank over here in china Yeah, she was bouncing off ideas She said that she had got so wrapped up in it that she had neglected taking care of her father and her health started to Disappear she's like I didn't was just time to pull the plug on it. I couldn't maintain a website Yeah Probably because she was being slowly poisoned by the governor

I couldn't maintain my Just a hassle I figure also when my dad becomes sick in the first place Yeah, that was chilling. I came across and I went whoa, I do call the realm of thought I like to do that's how russia was killing dudes for a little what they were like spraying with just random Like radioactive Just kill people by making them extremely ill. Yeah, yeah, they try with uh Natalya what's his name? I don't know You don't know the the fucking main uh

Outspoken opponent of uh Putin Naval I forget his name. I do not know. I've heard he's been using a couple poisons anybody that anybody that speaks out kids Fucking yeah, they get the flu one of those old schools like sprayers too Yeah, put something in their water. Yeah, you're like laying in bed. You're glowin in the dark. What the fuck's going on? Damn it. What are these guys on the street? Oh, you got poison in you He showed me this meme

My favorite meme of all time. It's just a fat guy laying down. Just a guy who's giving up It's a pod. Yeah, it's bring it up. I don't bring it up real quick Really dumb, but it's so dumb, but it's also like the funniest fucking this guy He's real down on his luck. You've never seen a guy that's down on his luck. Yeah, I mean not like he's laying on his side out in the Fucking yeah, yeah, yeah, he's he's having a bad time in a parking lot of the snow. We can't quite tell Oh I think I was either on mushrooms or molly when you first show me And it made me so happy

Just a dude laying there and people be like you fucked this up You fucked up Imagine fucking up for so long that eventually like the laws of gravity just actually pin you to the ground I'm done this whole universe is against me What be? The laws and the final assessment Stuck to the ground people like well, you're fucking obvious. Yeah Just yesterday I caught a standing version of this guy. I came out of my house

There's a white dude nodding out holding a chocolate milk a quarter chocolate milk Nice, I think he had some gummy bright crawlers and he's just standing there He's not and I just came back and I'm like looking I'm like, dude I don't want this shit outside my house and I go out. I'm like, I'm about to host you to get the fuck out of here Yeah, I was about to be like give him up for like bro. Keep it fucking moving. I go out and I see him and he looks at me We lock eyes and I was like, uh What are you doing, man? I was like, you all right? And he was like No, he literally just goes no

I'm like, what are you doing? He goes I don't know man. I'm trying to figure out my life. I stopped and went Bro, I'm rooting for you, man. I was like, just Fuck man. I hope you're all right. I just walked full off of gummy bears and chocolate milk Now that's the least of his worries, but still You haven't tried the the gummy worm chocolate milk diet That could be what's slowing them down now. It's probably heroin, but I like the thing it was the russians Chocolate

It is funny with like to hit someone like if you just completely fail in the decision matrix where it's like drugs heroin's not that bad. He's like, he's like, what's for lunch? It's like true mo Fucking bright colors chocolate milk and then some dude is like, bro What are you doing? He's like, um, just think of like thinking about stuff right now because I don't think I'll do well I wish you could see through it. It'd be like in movies when they show like a dog's view of the world Uh, what's honey? You just see a brightly colored package. You're like That is hunter-gatherer vision, dude. Yeah, put it on a register like Like I we need money

I felt back I looped back I was walking my dogs to loop back to see if he was still there Vanished dude. He's he probably went to go stop the steal Baby no, he's laying down somewhere That guy Dude, I was so puffed up. I'll leave my house. I'm like, I'm gonna tell us how to get the fuck out of here Dude, I want the shit around my fucking house. I walked up and he's just do a huge scar down his face Oh, he's like, uh, dude, are you good? And he was like, are you good? Yeah? Yeah. No, I'm like, you know, I was like, where you going? He was like, I know

Where I am. I'm like, fuck this guy's fucked. Yeah. I was like, brother I wish you all the best Please don't break into my fucking car right now. I was having a lot of stuff in there I haven't cleaned my car out my wife and anything. You got several hours before that guy has the strength True, but he's it's coming. Those gummies are gonna fire him up. Oh, yeah His Popeye spinach. Yeah He has to pop him when another junkie's trying to rape him at night True

He's like, yes Well, if he wandered down from kna That would be wild and just walk and walk and walk and all of a sudden you're like a nice family neighborhood and you're like All right, what the fuck's going on? That has to hurt. Yeah, that's probably like leaving the front in World War one You just didn't mud in a trench. I disagree. Two miles back Walked two miles back. The sun's out birds are chirping. You're like, why was I over there? Based on the scene you just showed me. I don't think it's like that. No, I was just using the analogy of how close How

How close pure hell and just a nice neighborhood is I mean to stay with the analogy What would be the closest even if it's further further support? What is the closest thing besides actual warfare and like fluge or whatever barring that What would be the closest thing for a young lad to encounter like I swear to god It's got to be heroin addiction living on kna. Yeah, I was going to say bad internet comments, but yeah bad internet comments That's close I'm not gonna say bad internet connection. I was like, yeah, I've been that's That's frustrating as hell

Yeah, but no, what porn? Oh, can you imagine? Yo still off still off. I've been off porn for two months. Oh, wow Good for you. I've been getting the fucking call the like last couple nights. Oh Everyone's when everyone's asleep in your house. It's like Oh right before bed fire one off. Yeah, dude I'm like kind of like I have like the caffeine jitters. Everyone's asleep He switched from porn to coffee. Oh, yeah It's been a good move. That was a good move. That's still a really pretty good addictions I need most people just have porn and coffee just all day

Intervenously. Yeah. Yeah, that's not even part Porn's very hard to quit. Hard to quit. It's very hard to quit. I did the only reason I kind of I pretty much quit was because I got a dog Hmm I can't do it in front of the dog and the dog watching your dog. All right. Oh right now. Yeah, oh That dog sucks. You know, you don't want to accidentally come into its mouth What if you jerk it off? You don't actually come in the dog's mouth. You might you're going It's like wait if I go for a walk and he comes in you're like, Oh, no

No, no, no We're spinning up I would have to put her down. Yeah, I couldn't. I would never be able to wait I mean Well, this is done. What's his name? Dice. Dice Dice drop drop it. Dice. Drop it. Dice. That's daddy's kong Ew, dude. Did you call yourself daddy? Uh, yeah I mean, you are you know, you're a fur daddy. You're a dog daddy. Yeah

You're the fur daddy. Yeah I think it's cool when you bring your dog into the green room Uh Because out loud you said something pretty opposite of that. I was curious. Yeah. Yeah, you weren't happy. Well breathe. What was a puppy? Uh, it was a it's a I got No, he was a pointer. There's a cuteness overload. Shane was so cute. It's overload. Here. Yeah, it wasn't a full puppy This is like a teenage dog. Oh, it was a fucking puppy. No, it's like old enough I hear you're saying hyper

It wasn't hyper. We're not talking a puppy. No, no, no. I love the puppy dog teenager. You're wrong, dude Dog teenager sprinting around. You're just wrong. Let me say you're just fucking wrong, dude How many pounds what size? Um 30 Now it's 30 pounds before it was 20 when I would bring it by I haven't brought 20 pound puppy, dude Yeah, right. It was four months old, man. It's not a 20. That's not a puppy. It's 20 pounds. No, dude It was a puppy and you loved it Everybody loved it. You're a fucking liar took it outside. I hate you

Why did I agree to do this? It's 150 degrees. The dog's literally dying. Ah, let me see that dog Forget what it looks like. Yeah, that's cute. Oh, that's not what does look like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's her That's not what it looks like. No, no, no, no, no. You're wrong. I've never seen that dog in my life Yeah, you've seen it around rescue. No, you've seen it, dude. All right. Yeah, that's her That's fucking cute. That's that's for real. How big she was when I bring her. Yeah, that's a teenage dog Was he jumping around? Was he jumping around the green room? Yeah No Sniffing Joe Rogan, how dare you?

How dare you let your mongrel sniff Joe Rogan? Yeah, Rogan's probably loved it I doubt it. He snapped his neck. Everyone was like, why is there a fucking dog in here? There's already 30 people in this room. There were a lot of people. There's always a lot of people Yeah, I don't know. At least a beast in there. It was kind of nice. It was pretty cool Everyone seemed to like it except you kind of on the leash It would wrap around the table you he had to get up. Oh, you gotta take it off the leash to be like Yeah, you gotta take it off the leash let it run wild. It was a it was a crazy. Do you remember when we went to dog central? There was a guy standing there's like a canvasser on the corner in austin like a canvasser

Is that why you signed this can we talk to you? Yeah And a guy with a dog walked in front of us and then we were walking and he like a block in front of us He had his dog on a leash and the cameras are goes. What is this dog central? Howling He thought he was killing That is an anti-white wolf whistle though They a lot of dogs around here. What is this dog central? Yeah, a lot of that's that's a bad rap white people catch in cities like they all have dogs

Interesting. Yeah, how come your dog's not outside? Yeah And If it was a dog that went missing y'all would care. Yeah, that's a joke. Yeah, I am a burning mac and press we can do True I live with dog pressure all the time. Excuse me I've been told to curb my dogs all the time curb your dogs. Why'd you say? Oh, excuse me? Yeah, I'm talking about All the time I thought you had a stroke. You gotta get a scoundrel. That's not funny, dude. Some of our most popular politicians have shrugged

Our senator, me and Matt's senator The victorious victorious betterman, dude. I fucking hope he wears that on the senate floor You think he'll they'll allow they'll start allowing shorts and hoodies Dude, I hope so Dude, I fucking hope so The Pennsylvania orc has risen The orc king He's here

Federman is a Unit, dude. Yeah, he's a big bro. He's like six nine. Yeah, never was better. He's a big tear Why are everyone attacking him for living with his mommy and daddy? What's wrong? Why can't people live in rich and he's his Pennsylvania orc? I want to be senator There's one little fucking twerpy dude from jersey who owns like eight mansions And then the guy who's actually from the fucking state lives with his parents. They couldn't be more Six nine. I love that. Why are the republicans going like daytime tv against the democrats?

Like we'll get dr. Oz we'll get hershal walker. We got this guys. I mean, can you imagine? Can you imagine being dr. Oz and losing dude who is six foot nine dude that just had a stroke? That's like But he's the local. He's a fucking down-to-earth dude. Yeah True. He's a real guy, but dude. I just kept imagining dr. Oz is slamming like a island countertop in his kitchen He'd be like, mother fucker So as soon as I saw that video of him going through the market, you know, like trying to find a crudity. I'm like, oh, he's Yeah, I Said Wegmans wrong. We call it. I forget. He was like

Wegmans, I don't know. It was funny. He just had no idea what it was Damn, dude. You know what? Wegmans. It's the best. I love Wegmans. I love pennsylvania and he wasn't saying Wegmans I'd rather have a stroke. Fetterman wiped the floor with his bitch ass dude It's pretty fucked up that he was giving us beach and all the flags behind him blew down God dude That's pretty That's amazing Dude, he also he also does copy the obama case dude. I thought that was obama

He tries his best to copy the kings, but he had a stroke. So he's like, yeah, and uh, I'm ready to serve Yeah, true. Good night. That's a good move. Good night, everybody Yeah, I gotta do a weird This is a very Disgusting personal attack. It could be taken as that but it's not but I started thinking in my bed the other night like dude The democrats just not value cognitive ability anymore at all Oh, that's a really good point. You can just be like, I mean again. Fetterman, I he battled, but it's also like I thought for sure there. I'm like, oh no, this guy. Who do you think has more cognitive

Like right now the president or or Fetterman for sure. Yeah, I think he knew he at least had the he knew what he was Fucking up words. Yeah, he just has a hard time saying those shit, which is admirable on a certain level. Absolutely Personally, uh, huh? You can bounce back. I think again Hey Dude, honestly, I was like that is admirable when I started going like dude I'm pretty sure if you just fucking wave the flag for these guys are like Yeah, I mean as long as they get a vote. Yeah, in this totally they don't give a fuck if you're a six nine Orc king

Vote He might rule. I hope he rules. I think he I mean of the two guys. Yeah, dr. Oz is such a fucking little weasley door He's presented that way. I'm not you know, I don't know he is he is he's a weasley. He's not from pennsylvania So he may as well be like campaigning where the fucking astros had on like it's like He lost He lost so early like early. He lost He couldn't overcome the fact that his opponent was literally brain dead Well, he still attacked him on that he was like i'm a doctor. I know what I mean

I don't know if he said that for sure, but he was like you can't trust this fucking freak. He had a stroke Well, wow, did he really say he didn't say that but he was kind of He should have during the debate. He should have just been like guys. I'm like, uh, Trump fed him. I'm not trying to be mean to this guy Yeah, he shouldn't be up here. Yeah, I'm worried about a doctor. This is fucked up that we're doing this He may have won True. I should win. I think I don't again I'm completely just making this up what I said the last couple times But I think there was a point where he was like

I mean, he's not releasing his medical records and he did do that. They asked for his medical records and fed him It was like kind of an attack not No Sounds good his fracking was the best Fracking clip is so funny. He's like I support fracking the debate. There's like here's a quote from you from 2018 It's like I have never and will never support fracking Like and last week you said you support fracking. He's like I do not I have

I will support I support frack I'm supporting frack Thank you, mr. Bederman. That's like every fucking god damn senator But that's like every fucking uh It's not my brain works well I'm sorry abortion now They do the same fucking thing. I mean every democrat was like marriage is between a man and woman. Yeah

10 years ago. Yeah, you're right. Now. What are you fucking hitler? Yeah, shut up. They're like, I just sucked my wife's dick last night What's up cool kids, what are you guys like? I've grown a lot between when I was 50 and 60 I've changed so much from my 70s to my 80s Jesus Christ, you know, how about Pelosi's definitely gay husband with a I don't know they swept that thing quick. Yeah, man, you don't hear much about that I didn't hear anything about it. That was a real fucking political assassination They would have blown it up like they tried to it first. Yeah, and then they they were like, oh, here's the details Nevermind that story is not real

Yeah, there was just a dude in the house. Wow They're both in their underwear that guy answered the door to the cops and then while the cops were there he bopped him with the hammer Oh my god, he fucking little money for food. I'm oh my god I read a thing the other day where it said like dude, they're like, we're not I'm not certain about those details Well, that's the guy said like dude like this whole thing if they're lovers, who knows what we're saying is like Where's the ring doorbell footage? Like that's a rich area. There's got to be Doorbell footage of like to see that guy actually walking up and like they're like just let's have the full fucking details Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, there has to be there's got to be the the DOS has to be out there

Yeah, good for that guy though. Pelosi's husband. Oh just being a fucking 80 year old dude That's still like getting gay hookers coming over hitting them with hammers. Oh, yeah That's a life dude. You got Initial port weren't didn't they both hit each other with a hammer? Yeah I'm gonna leave you driving drunk. It's funny the whole country had to be indignant about that What I mean, it's one thing for me to do it, but I'm saying for me to do it all the time Literally constantly almost never not driving drunk take it to the limit if I'm driving I'm having a buzz with the fuck driving is boring. That's NASA. That's the only that's that's my NASA training, dude

Your G training we're in three G's You're like, all right, that's my limit Four G's is when I pass out I'm not the the husband of a powerful female senator, dude. No because he's attacking a woman's legacy That's where I get but I mean drunk driving drunk driving But like when you use drunk driving to attack a woman's legacy when a woman's legacy is on the right now I'm fucking furious a woman with a rocking tits A powerful senator with a rocking milky

Have you seen a rocking milky? Yeah, they're fucking sweet. You've never seen Pelosi's rocking tits. Oh, you're for real Let's see those No, I want to see them Are we talking naddies before we get like we get me excited? You guys ready to see some about our leadership's titties massive knockers Get the body out of here Pelosi's. Look at those Pelosi's. That's god. Oh, that is fake

Pelosi's Milkers No, is that a that was a fake picture. Look at the knockies in there. Yeah, what the fuck her 82 years old 82 Complete knocks. Wow Dude Beautiful knocks. Fuck that. That's the thing of her. Let's see her husband going at it. Let's see that husband's dick Federmans probably got like a Rasputin dick. Federmans dick must be nuts It must be especially the longer you're staying your parents house the bigger your dick gets

That is your dick just grows while you're while you're still incubating the egg. Your dick just grows I still can't believe hodor had a had a stroke hodor died too, right? Hold on. No, not hodor. Uh Harry Potter's guy. Oh, yeah. Haggard died dude. Federman looks like hodor Federman's got some hodor in him. Yeah, he does Federman's Hodor shake it up. His dong must be respite. Ask you, right? It must be like long and like Turns he's got to be crazy. It's pipe dream Damn, I want to pose he's a size queen and she got him elected to be like bring federman into my office

Why do you think women don't think so? I think it's I think you're all to some we need and her husband retaliated with gay sex without my new favorite conspiracy theory Sure, by far the post he only tries to get big dick motherfuckers in their office Including federman Where are we? We got to do another episode Oh 13. Yeah. Oh, she probably saw her to walk her lost. It went Slammed her desk Just a dr. Claw slam on the desk titties fucking

massive milks We need to be more respectful to the speaker the house or whatever the fuck she is now Um Guys, it's been a great it's been real. We're gonna go over to the page here and keep chatting We're gonna chat important stuff like anti-Semitism politics Kanye us. Yep. We covered all that. We covered a lot about there's nothing else to talk about right world war one nailed it Yeah, we're good. All right. Thank you for listening to the pocket. Thank you adam eget by the way I don't think we said your name. Thank you adam eget. This is adam eget. Hey everybody. Goodbye. Bye