Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 418 - Street Jokin'

Episode Date: November 17, 2022

Go watch Gilly and Keeves "The Special" @ gillyandkeeves.tv Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch & Get Tickets to See Matt @ mssecretpodcast.com shanemgillis.com YO. Good evening. Another scalding hot cast, and they just keep crummin'. Just the D.A.W.G.Z. this week. Back to basics, classic ep. Please enjoy. God bless.   Support the show by going to https://www.HamiltonDevices.com and use code DRENCHED30 for 30% off Support the show and get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code DRENCHED at https://Manscaped.com Support the show and get 15% off your first order by visiting https://www.getfirstperson.com and use code DRENCHED Visit https://www.Fitbod.me/DRENCHED to get 25% off your subscription of FitBod

Man gardening smacking with the party this week stomach going brazy your belly my belly is a little question What happened my belly is shot. I think there was cheese in those eggs. There was cheese in those I tasted I liked it, but women prepared us eggs and bacon. They're delicious, but my belly my girlfriend's breakfast dude I was like, I don't want this if it's yours. Don't get me started, bro. I can't believe you did that Hey, man, I'm not gonna be rude. I was I was between a rock and a hard place. I was off of food But there was cheese and now I'm saying You know, I don't eat dairy. So we might have we might both fall ill during this podcast We might both shit ourselves. So yeah broke my ankle dude. I know do what the hell

Oh After the extremely long late night, I got out of the uber and sprained my ankle Oh, there's a final thing like 730 or 8 in the morning. Oh so bad, dude and then My woman spaz she was like, I'm getting Chris Oh, you could barely walk from your ankle. No, I got up the steps when I was in bed and she was like, I'm getting Chris I was like, what are you talking about? It's like a she was hammered. So she was like Chris needs to take a look at he was gonna. It's like we need to call the doctor

You're gonna go doctor. We woke up the doctor. I'm like take a look at this and he came up and I was like He came and put an eye on him up and looked at it and he was like, dude, you're I was like I'm fine. I'm just joking around but for real my did spray my ankle and it hurts But yeah, it's big. It's swollen. It's huge. Did you roll? Did you roll it? Oh my god, dude So huge dude, did you roll? How are you gonna? You can't go work out today? Anyway, man, I got a pump on it Haven't worked out in so long do a wheelchair workout. I'm just gonna yeah, I'll just do arms get a wheelchair I got a wheelchair. Yeah, I mean you cut you qualify for one if you flew it wouldn't be crazy to get a wheelchair No, it would not you could get a wheelchair right now if you fly and you go to the front of the line every time

I will I have to fly Thursday get a will they can't ask you what's today Tuesday. Oh, thank God. I thought it was Wednesday Yeah, it's thanks. Damn. I gotta fly tomorrow. Yeah, right today's Tuesday Tuesday. Oh You get a whole other nice treat. I get to lay down for another 48 hours. That'll be nice. Yes It will the rest is necessary. I left my debit card and credit card at a bar on Saturday So I have to go into the city to get You're how the fuck did that happen?

Your debit anchor it ended at the end of the night ended viciously. Did you gambit where like we like to start a tab? I don't know what happened how I get I called and I was like did I leave a card there and they were like to Jesus you lost your identity Every time they say do you want to start a tab? I say no because I will forget. I'll leave my credit card I'm usually pretty good at it, but I have a credit card that just is in Florida Somewhere, I don't know where it is worse. I mean I still use that credit card I know it's only the beach in Florida if anyone finds it

Yeah, have a ball, but yeah It's at the beach in Florida somewhere and I bring he's like you have to close it down. It's like I can't yeah I don't want to be typing. Yeah, cuz then it's like I have to remember my like Apple password to do It's like dude. No way. What's done is done. Yeah, there's if I'm done If I have to be there's like three passwords if I have to reset it's I'll never do it. Yeah, I'll fall into ruin It's what I said with this. I thought it was my one debit card and I have another one Yeah, I was gonna call the bar and just be like can you throw that out? Just rip it in half. I have another one

Cuz I'm not coming into the city just to get two cards at a Sad bar. See this. Can you send an Uber to do that? But yeah, call me when he comes to pick you up. You like you grant that thought of mission be like bro I think you can sit. I think there's a job like you can do that. That's rabbit. That's grab. Yeah That's not bad. That's not bad. It'll cost so much money because it's over there and back That'll be a hundred a hundred dollars I've always wanted to do that with uber's like if I want to send something to my boy Just be like, yo, here's an envelope. It's for my boy. Just drop this off this house and let him cut letters

I was gonna send ounces of weed like that to people a long time ago. Don't open this. It has to go to my friend Yeah, don't get pulled over. Yeah, maybe we get pulled over is on yours. Yeah, it's on you I thought about that for a while my ankle send an ounce of weed to your boy and uber is nice. Yeah Yes, yes, yes good stuff this weekend, huh, dude, that was fun Unbelievable that was awesome. Thanks to guys. Thanks to everybody that came out the town hall. That was a magical two nights Felt really nice. That was something else. Yeah, I was telling you and you when you have The attention of 1500 people it feels it's pretty pretty scary very nice Yeah, yeah when they get quiet and yeah, all they're all listening. You're like, that was a good point

I just made I guess I am kind of a fucking genius Now that I think about it second show I thought was gonna be my demise dude second show was great It was fun. It was great fight both of us thought we didn't do as well. It's just because we weren't as nervous I think so Friday I was nervous Saturday I hit a point where I was like I Literally thought I had an internal model my internal monologue was against me on Saturday Friday It was with me for some reason my internal monologue turned against me. It is in the mid dead middle

I there was a joke. I just didn't do that. I usually do I skipped it and then my mind went into like Something's wrong. I'm missing something and I just instantly went into different stuff in my brain I pause being like where do I go from here? My brain goes dude What if you totally just melt it down right now and had to be like taking off the state Giving a bit skipping a bit sucks. I've done it I've skipped a bit and then been like I can still do it And then you realize it like requires a tag from it just a second ago This happened to me when the first time I did when I auditioned to like host at helium years ago eons ago

I did this where I told a half a joke didn't tell the punchline told another joke and then went back and try to like Forced the punchline from a joke and a half an ago on the crowd and then went For like 30 seconds, and then it was like and went into my I thought that was gonna happen in front of all those people I did it with I used to do it with god damn it too deep in the pussy and Jackie Robinson I would forget to tell too deep in the pussy Randomly at the end of the Jackie Robinson you don't want to go too deep in the pussy I did that and then sometimes you do it and you Don't even know you didn't set it up

So you're like, okay, what's your guys fucking problem that joke usually kills you guys suck I started out that way because usually I say I'm both tired and horny as a parent I didn't say that I was like, I don't know after the show. I'm gonna collapse into a puddle of calm 1500 people be like, why did you just say that I didn't say the first part dude fuck shit. I'm sorry Shane When you were on I was I was back there with bodily and I was like, it's great, dude It's great. Just seeing Matt in front of a theater It's just espousing insane statements

You're like you want to come to New York? I was like, yeah, I'll do a show there. What's it called? You told me a place. I went I googled it went. Oh boy. Yeah, that seems like a large place. It was a big one It's nice to see Oh, that's a Shane. Why are the seats red in there? Why is there a chandelier Where we're performing. Do you think the like my travel buddies? I Will say that the green room before shows I get very stressed. Yeah when there's that many people Well Friday, there's nobody there. Yeah, that was nice chill zone

But then Saturday all the bros all the the Jays. Yeah The Jays assembled intimidating dude having fucking 20 Jewish 20 Jewish people in your green room. Just like you're so great. They're friendly friendly bunch. I'm believable. You're a genius Yes, I mean, they're like walking talismans of success. You have to look at me like don't be weird. Don't be weird And they're all very the sharp dressed. Yeah, they're laid back too. Yeah, they're laid back in the cut I mean, I'm I think they should wear tuxedos It should be like their trash man suit like a one instead of like a one-piece jumper. They should wear tuxedos Yes, and my agent now he cut his hair. He looks like a 12 year old

He did look young. He's a young boy. He did. It was pretty hot actually. He how he looks. Yeah, I like what he looks Yeah, I like small. I'd like to get my paws on him. I want to cheat on him. I want to cheat on my wife Yeah, it was it was a how much of a mess would your life become if you had sex with your agent if I fucks my agent It had to have happened in Chobis certainly just a dude is fucking his male. It happens to child stars True true. I think if I if I got so inebriated that I fucked my agent Yeah, that would be that is a blood pack. That would be rehab Or they go on for a month. Truly the top. That's a blood pack now Now you have a skull and bones arrange arrangement where it's like dude, dude

Yeah, get me in the next war movie or I'm telling everybody I should be in a war movie Get me next of a booth, dude True or I'll tell everyone I'm gonna fuck you in the ass again like I did after the town hall show When I said come here we need to talk business Grabbed you and ripped your pants off I Was good everything was good. It was truly a blast. It was a neat. It was a nice time and then Matt and I went to the SNL after party It is it's nice SNL after part was nice. Yeah, that was I was curious to hear. I was curious to see what it was all about

It's a dungeon. It was like wet. Yeah, it's always dark. It's always like there's always like it's not lighting It's always like red lighting or like well the entrance is guarded by ladies who are being friendly mean We're like, oh, yeah, okay. Can I see your name? Like your name's not on here. That's weird I'm like, just give me a second. I'll call my friend and I had to stand there. I wasn't on the list The fuck was that their friendly mean they guard those places being like Have supreme confidence you just come out and go he's with me and then you turn around and walk back in Yeah, I don't want to offend whoever that was dude. Literally. It was seemed confident. They went like oh my god I was like, oh, that was so many important. Okay. Yeah, there's so many important people here. I don't want to

It's the only thing you do is you have to guard the place like I'm sorry Just give it could you wait out here? I was like, I'll wait hold tight for a second I'm gonna be yeah, sure. Yeah, they don't they don't know I could be yes I could be like a like a grizzled child star. They just have one time Kanye came to the stand And he showed up by himself and I think it was Joe. I forget which one it was There was a manager at the stand that was like no They couldn't he he walked it by himself at like 2 a.m. To an after party and he was wearing like a hood Yeah, Kanye outfit. He literally do the sock thing

He was wearing like a mask Because I think it was during COVID and he like he looked he looked like a homeless guy Yeah, and they're like no absolutely not and then he like took his hood off and they were like Please come inside. We're so sorry. Yeah, it's funny. Can you just wait out here for a second? I'm Kanye West. All right. Sorry about that. I Would start bar physically barging through those next time that situation happened through I'm going physical But there is always Yeah, there was it was too friendly mean ladies and like Steven ponytail jacked a marshal like opera singer martial artists

That I was gonna fuck you up. If I could just maybe just Just give a slow wedge like Oh Yeah, they would rip you apart They would beat my ass. Yeah, that's their job their jobs there for just in case a dude tries to all stop Just lower the shoulder. They're like, no, you can't get it Can't meet the cast I Just want to shake hands with the cast remember

Get your fucking hands all Yeah, I was one in there and spaz on anyone I know Dude and my thing was I got wobbled when I left because the dude who might have been C. Lo green I was like, is there another fat black dude with a high-pitched voice because I saw him outside I was like that was C. Lo it might not have been him. I think it was just a black dude in a green suit I think so. I think there was it. I was like, is there another fat black dude with a high-pitched voice and that like, yeah Kind of wobbled me. It was outside. I was like I might have got fucking I'm gonna trick to myself

You like all the A-listers are here. C. Lo is probably here. C. Lo is definitely here C. Lo's not at this point. I didn't see him. I didn't see him, but it's funny. Yeah, it's comic It's kind of like comic-con basically. It's very good to go to comic-con for free. It's very odd. You like I'm gonna go say hi you walk up and go Put her there bun B my scape was nice though Dude the hotel room. I'm a whole family in hotel room. I just fucking I deposited the babe Put fucking put pennies over her eyes Across the River Styx

Put the pennies on her eyes. I'll be back later. Yes What's the boatsman name in the River Styx? It's not Hades Hades is the place. Who's the guy? No Hades is the God. Who's the guy who takes you? Yeah, who's the boatman? Pluto I like to guess I Forget six boatman Who is the person who takes you across? I guess

What's Pluto is Pluto something to do with the realm of like death I Thought I thought it was but I don't know either way Yeah, I don't even know which one Roman amongst Greeks right now You're Greek Roman dude You're saying I'm more Greek you're more Roman I would say I'm more Roman There's a funny meme that makes me laugh. It's like it's like weed weed and mushroom civilizations and it's like huts

It's like alcoholic Alcoholic fucking civilizations. It's just Rome. I mean, it's funny you bring that up That's the one book I'm reading six beverages that changed the world. I mean, I only listened to half and I cheated I'm better than like two hours on the way up, but I was bullshitting but dude The invention of beer is sick as fuck. It was enough where I called I called my brother and I was like Dude like how hard is it to brew beer? Oh, and I know I was in my head. I'm like, you're not gonna brew beer You should start brewing beer. I dude. I got in a bug. I'm like, yo Is it like could I just like brew myself a six-pack dude?

Have you ever had someone's fucking brew beer always except disgusting? We have a it's my cousin's husband. He's been doing it now for I think like 15 years He's nasty. Oh, really? But every other time someone's giving me beer It's there literally handing you piss in a bottle Fucking disgusting bottle like yeah, I got a brew kit last year for Christmas This is my first one. They're a nice dude. They're truly like fucking 90% alcohol You go blind But yeah, I was listening to like how the I just did I had such a fucking uh

It sounds so dumb, but I like listening to it. I realized how sick beer is. I'm like beer is sick Yeah, I mean the anxiety post hangover is what drives civilization Yeah, you go. I gotta do something. I gotta get something done. I've got to become great I explained that to my cousin one time and he just kind of looked at me like I was the biggest dickhead in the world What do you mean a long time ago? I was like, yeah something about we're talking about like this was like before I was in college Or I might have just been in college and I was like, yeah, dude I was like smoking a lot of weed obviously at the time and then I started drinking a lot more and I was like Yeah, something about like I'm drinking a lot. I wake up and I'm like

I didn't realize even what anxiety was. I just like feel energized and I want to get stuff done He just kind of looked at me. It was like cool, dude. Yeah, fuck. I am Joe said something dumb to my older cousin Never lived this down. I Never yeah, I'm always jealous of the dude to don't get hangover anxiety. Yeah, there's guys. It's just so like yeah last night It was crazy. Yeah, is that good though to not get the hangover anxiety? No, you know, probably not but That's your higher essence, dude. I am jealous of the people that are like that was fun stone I can I can almost never do that. They're called wooden people. Even if it's a great night Yeah, it requires it it has to be a true like Saturday was fun Saturday was fun

Oh, dude stayed out too late rolled my ankle and That'll be the last SNL after party for a very long time. Yeah, those are never good. You can get hurt You can hurt hurt really hurt. You stayed up too late. You hurt yourself. Yeah, I can have it You need to go to bed. I didn't drive home. That was fun. Oh my god I pulled the plug it for them, but I was actually dude. I don't know how that night I munched a whole chocolate bar a whole dark chocolate usually I have like little squares Yeah, I'll wake you up party dude. It's party time. Yeah, the chocolate bar cocoa dude. I basically did cocoa Yeah, some people were really doing cocoa. Some people really were eating an entire

Little dark chocolate candy bar at the SNL after party I'm basically Farley did I ate I ate it before that's why my fucking inner monologue turned on me Yeah, I ate like I ate like the half of a 70% chocolate bar and then ate the other three I was like, what's the point afterwards and ate the other three quarters and just I was up You hit me up at like three in the morning and I was like, yeah, I'm up. I was wide awake Yeah, I was surprised you were awake. Yeah, that's I'm a sensitive instrument, dude I'll just remind you before I get speaking of Farley. We were talking about Adam Egett came over on Sunday and we went and watched some football telling funny stories

He was telling me a story about I forget who the guy forget the guy's name So I'm gonna fuck it up But the guy who I think co-wrote dirty work with him, but he said he told so right he worked at SNL And Rodney Dangerfield was hosting and he was like I got a joke I'm gonna run it past Rodney and he was like, all right There's two gay guys and they're gonna play hide-and-seek together and the guy goes Let's play hide the one guy one gay guy says the other guy He goes, let's play hide-and-seek and if you find me you can fuck me. I'll be behind the couch

He's like I gotta tell you kid. I'm not a big fan of jokes But he knew I mean that joke's incredible yes, I'll be behind the couch If you find me you can fuck me. I'll be behind the couch Here's how I was like dude, how do you come on? How does somebody come up with a street joke? It's crazy genius I honestly like a weird level of genius. It's like I Get tripped up thinking about whoever came up with those things where I'm like is the same thing I'm like dude. Did anyone ever even come up with those things? They just have a just been floating around. Yeah, that's crazy You think someone made that up

Yeah Like even like little Johnny jokes. I'm always like what's a little Johnny joke? It's there's like a whole John Johnny joke You've heard a little Johnny joke. There's a whole genre of street jokes of like a little Johnny who says something very inappropriate to a teacher Do you have do you have one that you remember? Can you Google a little I have there's like a I Can't remember any of them, but it's always him like saying something very inappropriate to a teacher If you can find one guard, you know, that would be fantastic. It was hard to remember street jokes Can you read a little Johnny joke into the microphone for us, John?

You have a good cadence for a little nice little Johnny's for a street joke. Thanks guys What you got I'm trying to find a good one. There's a lot of ones just rip them They just were just a little dude. They're real. It's like how long they are. Oh really don't it up give me a long one Uh finding out one of her students I'll tell you what why don't you read it We'll talk and when you're ready to tell the joke give it a read-through for a minute or two Sorry, that's what you're trying to do. I stopped you

Made you show your ass But yes, what else is going on dude? Oh, let me the so I'm listening to that on the way up and Dude, did you ever get into like when they discovered how they discovered beer? No It's actually really sick. It was from hunter-gathered. It's like the it was Civilization burying like the shit they've gathered and then it fermented sort of it's kind of like that where they were so they were like Just hunting and you know moving around moving around and there's wild grains So every now and again, they'd cut some of them off So if we keep this on us if like it just prevents us from all dying of salvation

So I started keeping the grains on them like this is nice and they started being like, yo Let's just stay by the grains. That's where the villages started popping up You know pretty standard stuff But then in order to store them like you're saying they did they dug holes in the ground or sometimes they would like hollow out tree Sumps. Yeah, you'd have that shit just sitting in there Then it would if they're like rain or something they would get wet and then the grain sprout and that like creates sugar So they're like dude this rule so they like eat the sugar like the sugar like rain like this is like crazy This is they had no idea what was going on

This is like otherworldly shit and then if they would make these like basically bowls of oatmeal That would set out for like three days and they'd be like and they'd sip it three days later You've been a fucking dickhead That's literally how it started that would be fucking better than me It was just oatmeal just give a good firm in it They would sip it out of like a fucking turtle shell and then be like Fucking bitch Plus you've been such a fucking pussy. You're such a pussy

But yeah, then they started getting like real into it And then there was guys that would carry around these big tubs because there was like firmening tubs And they didn't realize it like the yeast would like start like living in the tub But they're like for some reason when I use my they'd obviously Magic I'm magic like I'm magic here And they were just these dudes would look around big tubs be constantly mixing up drinks and they did have light beer What they did have light beer in Egypt Fuck yeah, they had all they have like these cute

I know the Egyptians were on to something dude. They had light beer back then Yes, so they had these cuneiform tablets of like all the different recipe and they had like sick names, too They said I'll let the Egyptians were white That settles it That's pretty great. Yeah, I was pretty pumped on that just and I was like dude That's and they would so you would take like a You have like the shell or some sort of bowl and you and your friend will put straws in it Because like there was they had like so much shit floating in it, of course

So they had to sit you said they're here boy and sip straws. They had straws. Yeah, dude. Yeah, we'd sit there with straws This is like I think 600 BC. Yeah, you gotta watch ancient apocalypse Oh, I heard Graham Hancock dude. You told me about it. My brother told me about him. Yeah Good turns out the civilizations are old more than we think perhaps really, but are they? How does it knows we never find out a hint of ancient aliens Does it yeah, because there's nothing really to film Yeah, so they just film Graham Graham Hancock just walking and staring at things Pretty funny. What's what do you realize? That's the formula of the show. It kind of ruins the show because it's just Graham Hancock like on a cliff like

This looks oh There's something peculiar about the bluffs on this river Perhaps the river was bigger than they think it was Maybe we've been here for 10,000 years longer Who knows? Such a sick thing because no one they're like, well, we Dude, a horse was hitting me with climate stuff recently. Nice. He was hitting me with like the He's like they radioactively carbon date the thing and then it's actually it's the air's been cold and hot like 20 times over

And the way the river froze and it's like dude Whatever you gotta do to keep yeah, it's funny that it's funny that the the Big oil is so good at You know, yeah, they the way they trick us The whites is to be like it's actually a conspiracy theory Yeah, big oil is not that bad. We'll get this dude. Did you know we're currently in an ice age? No, technically if the if we have ice caps on both sides, that's we're in an ice age Oh, okay

So we're in an ice age right now and the the idea is that those things may have melted and re-froze 100 times and that when they melt Like the Antarctica and all that stuff becomes the fertile crescent and then you just we'd have to migrate up there Is that why there's What's the name of the civilization in Antarctica? I don't know. I've never heard of it warm-out talks about it Oh, uh, not tartare. It might be tartare Tartare, I don't know. I don't know. Apparently they said there's a big hole in the ground And the giants live In the hole in the ground in Antarctica

Yeah, climate science is such a sick thing to get into. Yeah, especially without like with zero science I mean carbon dioxide 50 years ago carbon dioxide was at like 300 parts per million now. It's at like 415 parts per million. Tell me that's response Yeah, tell me it's our fault. It's not Anyway, there's aliens under the ground in there possibly You know, it's a sick piece of knowledge. You know, we're in an ice age, right? People are like, what? Yeah, dude. We're in an ice age This episode of Matt and Shane's secret podcast

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That's 20 off plus free shipping with the code drenched at manscaped.com Be thankful this holiday season for the best gift of all from manscaped Your tiny little Balls and penis will thank you. Handcock was on to some good stuff though. What was he saying? He was saying that Uh, he thinks uh asteroid or meteor whatever whatever hits the earth meteor hit the ice cap That's why we can't find it and

It caused all that ice to melt like Like that and it caused the great floods that are in every civilization's mythology Really? Yeah And that's and that's why it destroyed all these civilizations That were around 10,000 years before that were around that were around longer than we we assumed So what's his what's the connecting dot to like the ones that got destroyed and then us like we just People I don't know. It was always like

How did they build these pyramids? You know, yeah, shit like that You know, like if you look these pyramids are older than they say The so-called experts you know, he hates archaeologists. He calls them so-called these guys think they're so fucking smart I know that is sick though to be like I'm not an archaeologist. I'd never got a degree in this but listen What yeah, what's his credentials? What does he do? I don't know they he does look he brings up some good fucking points I am I am being cynical. Yeah, for sure. But I there are dudes. That's just me That's because I've got a history a bachelor's degree in history

Oh, he's so I see me like Graham Hancock. He comes at the intelligentsia like myself. Yeah, you're in an ivory tower I'm up there saying Graham. Good luck with that I'd like to see your citations Graham is this mla style or api style deep dish I was thinking about this the other day whenever I was in school even when I went back as an adult I don't think I've ever used a real source in a paper. I always make up sources I just wikipedia. Yeah, and then I just make up a source. Yeah, every single time. It's a good move

I've never once dude. I've never any time they're like, well, it's not apa style I might just deduct the points for not doing api. I refuse to fucking read and fuck it then Do I put a period here there? Like does it really fucking matter? No, it does not that was my thing It's like what if I don't want to use sources. What if this is all coming from me? Why aren't why aren't I a source? Yeah, why do I need three? How did they come up with it? That's what I'm saying So I do that shit pissed me off so bad. It's like I would just never use it. I would just write stuff write stuff then be like wikipedia

And then I go to you go to the bottom of the wikipedia sources and I just claim that is my style history papers make it up Yeah, I just give my ideas and I go and uh wikipedia the subject There's something go from that book because they have their sources in wikipedia. So then I use wikipedia I just rather than being wikipedia is my source to say the source that gives wikipedia is my source. That's fair Never use sources, bro. Never use it. I've hated that since I was a kid. It's like so you're gonna make me Just just inject Three different dudes for no fucking reason into my paper. It's like what if my lot? What if my logic stands by itself? Why do I need three fucking things that I'm gonna just but it is nice for the word count

If you're sweating a word count you hit him with a nice block quotation There's 250 words Sorry, you're good Let's check in text getting good text to be a Press release today Really about me and it's gonna probably result in some some old quotes What oh for the tour for the tour

Not yet You think your enemy is gonna look it up. I think my enemies are gonna go Don't let him back in they can't touch the shows though. They try yeah your live shows Your live shows They can't touch the live shows. Yeah, but if it's cool shows on tv or something. They'll start. Oh, I think they can say You fucking pieces of shit this guy said let them scrabble, dude I know let them scrabble and the chips fall where they make makes me feel bad Because they they publish that i'm a bad person. Yeah, that stinks. That makes me feel bad

No, that's that's literally a written article That's like, you know this guy sucks Playing xbox Yeah, they're just it's just the eight wins out my inner monologues, right? You gotta ignore all the eight wins, dude Just let them blow over you just fucking Hey, maybe i'm a dickhead today tomorrow. I'll be the man It is what it is truly irrelevant. I mean it does suck reading something That's your words then be like this guy sucks and you're like I was kidding

But um, I was joking. I was just messing around Yeah Yeah, that's gotta be anxiety inducing non-stop. Yeah podcast give me so much anxiety now It makes sense. It's all I think about just not all I think about but I think about a lot I'm like a fuck. I said this about this person. They're gonna be so fucking pissed. Yeah, no one ever cares. No But or or it's just kind of like yeah, I don't think people give a fuck no one does It's only this most slithery of creature. That is the the most slithery of creatures going around and fucking Sifting through pot. They're like old gold miners

Sifting through podcasting. There's one jackpot. There's one Jackpot There's go to these parts They do a 49er dance. Yeah, that's their plot Yeah, man. I mean, dude, I don't know. I'll be right for sure I mean, dude, you're fucking what's strong. Would you say what hashtag strong? Would you say you say you're jersey strong by this point or do you say more flutter strong? Are you flutter strong? I'd I'm flutter strong. Nice. No doubt. Yeah, I get crushed by hurricane. No one cares or talks about it

I'm just like florida's people actually quite happy to see that People happy that happened Fucking idiots. Yeah, that's what they get for living there. Yeah, they should live where we live michigan A shithole It is unfortunate. It's beautiful People are fighting for like some weird territory right now. No one's really even thinking about it like that. Yeah They are still going People are fighting they're still going people are fighting for the internet right now. Yeah

Elon Musk's twitter I don't know if anything bothers me more than people shitting on Elon Musk Dude, it fucking pisses me off. It's so fucking look. I'm not saying you shouldn't make fun of Elon Musk but like That it's become like a polarizing like the left is like, oh, we're gonna have to pay to be verified now Fuck you. It's like, what do you care? Are you psycho? Yeah, what are you talking about? What if the money that's like, do you all really feel strongly about it or did one person That you all follow say it. Yeah, dude

I I'd put you I'd people spasm yesterday when I posted the npr article about chapelle It was like Dave. That was a great. That was a nice little tweet. Thank you, man People started going it's implied that it's an opinion. It's like no, dude when they do opinions in the news They say opinion Dave chapelle disappoints that way it's not representing it as like a An idea that's like they're telling people how to think. Yeah, so you say Dave chapelle disappoints You're stating it as an objective by the way. I watched it. I watched the monologue. It was great. I know it was that when I saw that I went I bet it was good because literally

pussy central sorry Pussy central pussy central dude pussy central breaking news It wasn't that good. It actually disappointed me dude. It it disappoints You're and it's like there's my I didn't respond to this guy But it my whole thing was like he's like it's implied that it is it's an individual's opinion It's like no that when it's an opinion piece they say opinion Dave chapelle disappoint disappoints. This is why I think that You represented as an objective fact and there's enough people in the world who go

Okay, I got the signal. I didn't like the way Dave chapelle did the thing or I like it I heard he actually was pretty and they won't look into it any further and it's like they shouldn't be allowed to do that because people Dude, I've talked to this before the Stanley Milgram experiments Like I think like 70 of people would keep turning up the fucking dial and shocking people. Yeah when you'd shock people Yeah, we have to accept the fact that Yeah, and there was just there's a guy in a lab coat going you must go on and dudes would be like Yeah, I will hurt this guy. So let's accept the fact that a majority of human beings or Can't fucking think for themselves

It's what they're paralyzed under just like fear of disappointment and everything and it's like that's being taken advantage of nobody wants to talk about it Hmm dude the prison experiments same thing they put people in those things and they were just like what am I a guard? Okay, fuck you Was I think was there another thing that came out that the same for prison experiment was False like it was that's not how it went Uh, I don't know. I forget what it was. Well, dude, you know, they had people so you signed up Maybe but you had you they had to cancel it like five days and it was too much Yeah, but what happened was guys got after people signed up for it and then they had

Real police officer. They'd be like, yeah, I'll do a thing But then they would so what happened was they didn't know this a real police officer came to their house And arrested them in front of all their neighbors and they were like what the fuck's going on The cops would be like get in the car get in and wouldn't answer any questions. They were like What the fuck and then they got deposited into the jail and they were being like humiliated and like they're being they're getting Impalile toe but there was like one dude who had like a real psychotic break in there and they had to cancel the whole thing What a pussy you're like completely freaked a prisoner are fucking freaked surely All right. Well now you ruin the entire experiment. Yep, ruin it for everybody. You cried

He one dude cried and then I cried the experiment if you got dude, if you accidentally signed up for something You had to be there for like a week You'd imagine a cop coming to your house and you're like go ahead and walk out by your neighbors And they had no idea you signed up for the stupid thing I didn't know that's how it started. I didn't know that I read something recently It was like it they were pretty hardcore about it They had the local police department in on it and they came to like shut up get in the car Yeah, and they just dropped you off this weird place

But yeah, I wonder if it was a fluke. I mean, I know the guy There was like a ton of flaws with it. I guess they should let you go if you cry in prison As soon as you cry it's a guy that guy's sorry It's a fair point. Very sorry, dude. Let him go. Yeah, like every time you cry you get nicer and nicer That is your brain recognizing that like something's wrong. Yeah, I don't know if it's guilt as much as you just frustrated one out But that's you cry on the I always felt bad for the guy You know in the movies when they're like fresh fish when you're all walking in for the first set. Yeah, then one guy's like And they're all like, oh, we're gonna fuck you mother fuck

All right, all right, he gets out. Yeah, it's got us. I mean, I think it's like Because you are probably on somebody Jesse James renegade stuff You might have like especially if you're younger and like you have like a kid You're like and then all of a sudden it's like you're not going to see that person for two years and it's just like I'm not an outlaw it turns out to damn it. I thought I was desperado. Yeah, that must suck. I'm just a fucking loser Although there are the people that get in there and they go, I kind of like this better than that. That's that's dangerous That's a scary boy. Yeah, man I don't have to worry about any of that other stuff. Yeah, it's like it's kind of I just got to handle my shit in here

Yeah, I just got to do push-ups and fuck guys. Yeah I'll be buying the couch Cop head do draw you literally are just completely cared for it's like you just like get drugs in jail Yeah, do drugs the doctor sees you every now and again, but everyone's want to get stabbed 78 times By a fucking shaved down toothbrush The way they stab is so funny It's so scary Dude Burt saw a dude get stabbed to death in the county jail

And it was like over bullshit. Like he like there's like there's like gang There's like young gang members in county jails now It's like yous will get like dy's or like get fucked up in there and they're with like The hardest of criminals and the youngest of dudes who are like In just they're just ridiculous. Yeah, and there one guy went and was like clowning these like 19 year olds He was like later that night. They came stabbed in the death and they all just caught life sentences or like whatever He's like dude. It's so fucked up in there dudes like jump Dudes will try to jump from the second floor and she's like it's pretty common try to swan dive to yeah

Little d. Lo from the top. Actually that was benoit was the headbutt. Really? Yeah, his move was he would headbutt you from the top ropes Yeah Can't do too many flying head butts Told you my other bro was walking around and caught a mattress from the second floor Just walking just walking around the county jail, dude So one of the guards was doing a thing and just threw a mattress on the second level and hit him in the head And the doctor was like nah, you have arthritis, bro. That's not for us. Oh

dude right now too like Yeah, like the the heat will break and they won't fix it There's not enough guards there now because of coven So like if you're if you have like a health issue now in a county jail They won't come like you'll die Because they were like hitting buttons to see because they were like they weren't they were so cold They didn't want the guards to sleep because the dudes just fucking pass out of it So they said like we're hitting a button all night because like dude come in here and fix the heat

Yeah, and they had the guards. He's like we were hitting it all night and nobody came And he's like dude if there's older dudes in there He's like dude if you got like sick or had a heart attack You're done like you're just you're going to die in jail. They'll find you in the morning He said they were like going on strike. He was like it was getting ugly They were like fight it was he's like it's really nasty with coven now dudes just get stuck in there and like that's it And like coven will spread through the wings and like dudes are in there. There's like hacking their lungs up and they're just like Jail sucks. Yeah delroy county dudes blows jail stinks. Yeah, dude. It's afraid of getting arrested here

They like you get on a bus to fucking rikers island you wake up like oh No, is that yeah, is that where you'd have to go? I think oh you get you get arrested in new york. You're fucked I didn't think about like a dui in new york. You wake up at rikers island I could be wrong about that, but yeah, there's got to be some sort of like hold in place I think there are holding cells throughout new york that are also That's got to be the worst They're pretty bad. It's gotta be up there. They're pretty bad. New york's disgusting. Yeah Dirty and old yeah homeless guys. It's like a subway station. Like it's like tile

You'd be in there with the housing challenged. Yeah That'd be difficult the housing challenged guys would be those guys smell the housing challenged guys smell really bad They have to be pretty bad to be in there. Yeah, because there's a lot of housing challenged guys that are up to no good that are just out Yo, yeah, you gotta do you're the worst the worst housing challenged and then you with a hangover waking up like The beds are supremely. They're supremely uncomfortable too. Yeah, so you're just laying on a metal Like a vet table Fucking sucks guard dog. Did you get that joke yet?

All right, well, let's see if you fire one up if you've mastered one All right Well, they're not they're not don't preface just titillating Jokes, but why are you making fun of matt matt said he liked it? I'm sorry matt I mean some of them are kind of funny as far as just you know, this one's pretty amusing packing my sense of comedy It was funny. That's a very deep insult. So you're disappointed. You're disappointed by matt No, I wouldn't say that's monologue. You're disappointed by it Yeah, what you got? Okay

The teacher called little johnny to her desk. She said johnny What's a little johnny up to now? I can't believe what he's up to the teacher said This essay you've written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written Johnny said, of course it is. It's the same dog Oh my god So that was it. What about the dirty joke? That's the joke. There's one. There's okay. So there's one, uh, little work blue Yeah, I know you work Little johnny's father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. There we go. All right

He says son every time you do that you kill an innocent baby The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again Johnny says dad bow your head. Can't you see we're having a funeral in here? Oh Larry's That's just that's the genre, dude Usually usually he's in class like talking about the teacher's titties. Yeah, there's some good ones about class man I used to like the street jokes are very fun. We get them going. Do you know any good ones, Sean?

I know a good one, but let me hear it. It's a little offensive. So that's a little blue But you know the one where it's like, what's the difference between a jew and a canoe never heard of that before Jesus Dude, what the fuck are you talking about now? Sean? Are you that tone deaf during these times? Why'd you do that? You asked me if I had a street joke. Yeah, just a nice one. Yeah, dude. I know I'll give you one. Yeah sorry So there's a uh comedian on a cruise ship

Actually, I'm sorry. He's a magician on a cruise ship He's a magician Yeah And there's the acts before him as a comedian and a clown and they they have a parrot as part of their group So every night they go first and they got to clear out, but the parrot's always still in the back of the room And they do the same act every night So every night the magician goes on and he starts doing his acts and the parrot's like brrrt, it's in his pocket brrrt And he's like fuck

He just keeps ruining every trick every night. He's like brrrt. There's a mirror And one night The cruise ship sinks and the only survivors the the magician's just sitting there floating Days go by three days go by and he realizes the parrot's floating getting closer on another raft Day three the parrot comes up and goes All right asshole, where's the boat? That's pretty good Because the parrot thought it was a disappearing trick

You see how everyone can laugh and have fun at that You just alienated a whole group Who are already on edge right now? because All right, there's a paratrooper I tell you this one There's a paratrooper in the war. Yeah, and he comes home from boot camp and his paw is like Man, how'd you do? How'd you do jumping? I knew you were afraid of heights and all that and he goes well

Before before I jumped out of the plane my drill instructor got behind me said if you don't jump I'm gonna fuck you in the ass right now and his dad goes Did you jump because I mean a little at first That's a classic. That's just guys having to grab each other's shoulders Yeah None of that anti-semit, you know, sorry. I'm still learning and growing Geez man, you really you thought you're about to get you thought you're about to rip the fucking ultimate one Yeah, you're in the house now. I thought that was a good one. What's I don't even understand it. What's the point of it?

Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah, I have no clue. I don't know. I heard it. I heard it somewhere else I'm just repeating it. Wow, man That's the you know, this is not what this is about. Yeah, I didn't mean to crush the vibe. It's okay We can delete it. Yeah, we'll black your whole joke out and we'll have Yeah, we'll put in a whole segment a different joke. Huh? I'll put in a different joke Okay Like what? I don't know. I can't think of any other

Oh, I I do know the one about the chickpea and the garbanzo. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. And what's the difference? That sounds good. I've never paid 50 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my chest. Yeah, that's a good one Yeah, nice. That's good. Yeah, it's like what's the difference between jelly and jam? Yeah, I don't know. I can't jelly my cock out of a kid's throat I added the kid part. That's a good thing to make it a little blue I tell you that time, uh It was at the second street comedy club in harrisburg. I'd said an anti-semitic joke. Did you? Yeah, it was uh, carlos mensia I was opening for carlos

It was a big deal Sorry, the mind of the master was big deal The master was on stage and the way he ended the show is he brought up his openers and they were just fucking around telling street jokes And I was standing in the back with his manager and I told him a street joke And he was like you got to go up there and tell that that's fucking hilarious And I was like, all right, I'll do it and I went on I told the joke It was a terrible joke. I'm very ashamed of it

and I finished the joke and They turned the lights on and ended the show What was the joke? This is an extremely inappropriate dad joke that I deeply regret something Sean would like It was actually very similar to yours. That's why I said, what's the difference between Jewish people and Santa Claus? We can't Did it murder that's good stuff. No They turned the lights on it. No, speak of the devil. One of them is calling me now

Folks who felt it My boy agent that I want to have my way with And they just turned the lights on. They literally turned the lights on No one was happy Yeah, they're like A woman that was one of the first times ever somebody came up after a show and was like, I was really offended by what you said I was sitting at the bar after and a lady came up and was like what you did was wrong I was very deeply offended by that. What did the master himself say?

Uh, I don't know. I forget. He was nice. I remember that. I remember him being cool He was like, dude, I fucking why'd you take my joke? Why'd you ruin the whole? Yeah, he's like that was a good joke He sounds crazy whenever I got mad at me for saying that joke Yeah, damn dude. Yeah That's why I thought that was acceptable Well, at least you teach Sean before he goes out there and yeah Devastates himself Thanks for that. Yeah, just because you and your buddies laugh behind closed doors doesn't mean the whole public's gonna think it's great

You're right. I figured the second street comedy club in harrisburg that crowd would be off for it Turns out they were not excited. The lights turned on lights on Music people. All right. Thank you very much for coming out. Yeah. It's like fucking you're looking at like half-eaten appetizers Also, I had just started it must have been delivered so poorly It must be just yeah That's a tough night Oh my god Yeah, that's

Were you driving? Do you drive yourself home from there? No, I think that was at second street comedy club downstairs was a bar that had one dollar One dollar you call it. Oh, so the whole bar was one dollar For an hour. Yeah, I would go down and drink as many IPAs as I could in one hour. Yep We used to have that at uh Kavanaugh's when I was in college It was five bucks to get in and then drinks were I think like 50 cents. Yeah between Like they were doing that ten in midnight. Yeah, and you just go there and just drink as much as you could and shots Over and over again shots

You would get so I would get so hammered that I'd like be ordering a drink like that'll be 14 dollars and I'd be like What time is it? No, like it's 12 30. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, I would spend like 150 bucks. I'd be like, fuck Yeah, she had rolled like it's 1205 but come on Help Seven dollars. How about one? Just for one dollar. Yeah, I used to go to the bar in gym shorts Stand there get hammered and then like try to get pussy. That's the shit. It was so Fuzzy sick just like featherman. Yeah, I was fatted out. I'm sure it's hoodie

Blacked out. Yeah, you were a stroke featherman. Yep, and I would like it Dude, Nelly would come on at midnight. I'd be like blacked out and start dancing like I'm gonna get I might get pussy I'm definitely gonna kiss. I'm gonna find my love Yeah, that was sick. That was very fun. It was a fun time in life That was a fun time in life. It was it was a pretty painful and confusing time of life, too But it was very High points were very sick. But in hindsight, you do kind of forget about the painful anxiety You do and you're just like that was sick. That was fun

Yeah, it was that was honestly the best It just sucked though Because you have no idea how awesome free time is and then all of a sudden you lose all your free time and you go Yeah, free time is tough though You think it is I will say free time in Mount Vernon was tough for me When you were in your old apartment. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was tough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now I can enjoy free time pretty I'm like nice. I get fucking three days off. That's true. Let's go. No, that's a fair. It's free time

You saw what I was doing little battlefield one. Yeah, I'm nice at the sniper Everything else. I am horrendous I'll you just I'm probably absolutely horrendous dude. Here's impossible. It's kind of selfish of you not to sniper Yeah, I was hurting my team You saw what happened when I sniped cleared that whole fucking house out. Yeah, I was crazy That was a lot of people were very excited. My boys were trapped. Yeah, that house was killing us You're you're a fucking uh, American cyber. I'll take care of it. They were trapped. That was pretty sick to see That was neat. Where are we at?

22 minutes. Oh nice. This thing's flying. Yeah, we ripped it up, man This was another fucking hit. Shane, we ripped it up man. We keep coming up with big hits. I didn't hear he fucking ripped it up I mean every time we're at the plate. They're like they can't do it again It's been done. It can't be another home run. It's been done gone Out it's out of the park. It's out of here, dude. The cause would see your story out of the park That's not going to come back to haunt me No, I mean it was no disrespect to the king. Oh, you come out what you did. Yeah, what I did I mean, dude, I was genuinely remorseful

I remember a woman coming up and being like what you did was wrong and I remember genuinely being like I'm really fucking sorry about that. Yeah, there's a thing bad on that dude. I mean, I grew up here in all kinds of Shit like that. So for me, it's like Here are we having fun? This is how I have fun. I say the worst thing I can think of. What the fuck? Yeah Yeah, people don't understand dude. I try to explain to people dude. I'm like, dude I remember when I was working with uh, I was working with my dad and like a monocles were sitting out there And I think I've told this before that a truck driver Ended his life tragically and we all caught the news of this guy's suicide and we just went

We fucking laughed at him because he was like he was a short. He was like really really short Yeah, so I'm killing himself. It's one of what we all pause and someone was like, what do you hang himself in the door? Never laughed to me. It's like went back to like pushing rocks with bulldozers It's the only way you can survive pushing rocks with bulldozers It's like all that guy we used to make fun of all the time hung himself. I'm like, mm. What a loser That's not our fault That's not on everyone's hands in this room Haha

Yeah, I was like right after lunch you all that like lunch post lunch tired energy standing around like a just a Sidewalk post lunch tired at work is fucking off dude. It's just you get cold man It's the worst you eat lunch inside in the winter and then you come back out outside and you you're fucking freezing Everyone sluggish and it's just like dude. What fucking time is it? That's the worst because then Because I would I would hit lunch as early as possible Oh, it gets to work and just be like dude. All I gotta do is get to lunch 10 a.m. Lunch I'm still here for seven hours

I used to try to do the opposite take a British lunch if you eat lunch at one the afternoon You can hold out it really is like that 10 till 12 time is the worst at the the last place I worked at The Toyota place in the garage Everyone would take lunch at the same time So the place would just be fucked And then like you'd be the one stuck down there You'd have to go to lunch early to beat the rush. Yeah, then that's the that's when people go get their cars fixed

They're at work. They're like, I'm gonna drop my car off. Yeah, I'll pick it up after work. Everyone's chilling There's one guy at the desk. It's me. You have to be like, we're actually we're all like, I don't know how cars work They're like, well, what's wrong with my car? I'm like, honestly, I have no idea. I came and read what the guy wrote I'm trying to communicate this to you I'd have to run back and be like, what? Like tell them it's this. All right It's this like how much is that because I'm here for an oil changer. It's like way. It's gonna be $1,200 Otherwise, I recommend you don't drive the car. It's a safety hat. Like you'd have to

Like you have kids I wouldn't drive that thing unless you're comfortable with your kids dying You should give me $1,700 To fix a part that I don't and then they'd be like, what does it do? The part that I need to fix what to do. I turn this smoke into platinum. Yeah Smoking to platinum. Do you want to fucking not do that? If your car doesn't have enough platinum, it'll break. Yeah This this episode of Matt and Shane's secret podcast is also brought to you by fitbot Fitbot is the personal trainer in your pocket

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These products are not intended to diagnose treat cure prevent any disease But they have helped president joe biden a lot i've heard Now enjoy the rest of the podcast Man Shane secret podcast Yeah, I I held a rental hostage one time over at a dispute with a dealership. Nice. Yeah, they're like bring that back I was like, no, bro. They gave me a loaner car and I was like not until my terms are reached What were your terms? They fucked me on my air conditioning and my air conditioning wasn't working. I'm like, yo Let me know what's up if it's over a hundred. It's if it's over a thousand bucks. I'm not fixing my ac

So make sure and then they fix the diagnose it. No, they didn't even do it They were like it's this it was like a condenser or something It was like 500 bucks. They're cool And I'm like if it's because I knew there was another thing or maybe it was like the fan There was something in there that was like 1200 bucks. It's like because I had like research 1200 dollars Do always do every single thing and then you look up because I worked there the parts nothing I know it's literally labor for some psycho in the back And they're all like i'm not doing it. Dude, my job was to force

Dudes in a garage to do the fucking job. They weren't gonna do it. I got in fights non I'd have to go back and be like, dude, they're waiting. Yeah, what are you doing fucking do it? And then what are you? So fucking funny. It was it was there was some there was some actual physical altercations. Were they really? Yeah It was wild. What were they doing? They'd have like, you know, they'd have like four jobs. Yeah. Yeah, and they'd be like, I can't do it I'd be like, well, I sold it. So you're doing it. You have to do it. You have to do it. They're here Yeah, and I'm like, dude, do I need to get our boss?

I'll go get him dude. He's in his office like, fuck you For mother fuck, he's like slam their tools down. Yeah, that is a spaz job full spaz. Yeah, everybody every day was spazzing Yeah, that's there wasn't one moment There was a couple cool ass dudes that would like that were the they were the best at their jobs That wouldn't spaz but everybody else was new And I was new so they had me in the quick lane So all my guys were brand new and all they were doing was fucking like oil changes. That's all they could do

That's the only thing I knew about. Yeah, so I would have to battle those dudes every day though Like we got four more oil changes. How many of those dudes fake the oil changes I was my biggest fear and I always say to him I go guys You didn't just fake my old change. Did you think we would never we would never no they wouldn't do that but they would Like they'll come back and be like your oil pan is leaking. Yeah And then you'd look at it and be like is it Yeah, no, it's fine, dude. I'm not paying. Yeah, three grand for a new oil thing Just I don't need oil

cars gonna run Yeah, they hit me with some bullshit where I was like, yo, if it's this thing replace it if it's not that thing No dice if you diagnose it and this is something that's gonna cost me a thousand bucks I'll just ride this thing till it dies. No ac. Yeah, they're like, no, no, no for sure for sure And they they went into it it would there gets a little thing. I'm like cool. They replaced that I get into my fucking car I'm blowing the air. I'm like Air's coming out like 80 degrees. Yeah, they're like, no, just drive it. It should be good when I was like, okay So I started driving nothing. I call back. I'm like, dude

My air's still fucking hot and you guys charge me 500 bucks. I'm coming back They run the test and like, uh weird. Yeah, it fucking is uh, they look at it Oh, you're gonna need that thing and I was like, dude because they gave me a loaner They call me back and they were like you have to pay and I was like dudes give me my 500 bucks back because I didn't I wouldn't have done it when it fixed blah blah blah So I held the loaner hostage and there I was like, I need your manager and they wouldn't give him to me I was like, I'm not bringing this fucking loaner car back. No, like fine. The guy you do the guys the managers rule You can get to the managers dude. They sweet out of josh. What up? Yeah, they sweet

If you can get to a dealership manager, they sweeten the deal. Yeah, he was like, I'll tell you what we'll split it man Let's go halves. Yeah, I was like I respect you Yeah, that was and and all my guys were africans Really, they're from african dudes from philly that were just They're usually hard-working. They are but they they'll turn on you They'll give you the evil eye. They're doing this to give you the evil eye. I tell you, you do it I didn't even see that coming. Yeah, no, they would battle me. Oh, you got caught in the evil eye. Yeah, they fucking

They would then the one dude got a he got my number. So he would text me like memes insane fucking memes Be like a chicken with like a human smile. I'd be like nice Thank you I'm my favorite thing about you battling african dudes over old changes. It was tough. I'm busy. It was a dark time. I'm very busy Um, let's switch over. Let's do it guys. Keep listening over at patreon. Maybe this week will be the fabled Hardcore history of the crusades. Really? I have it. Yeah. All right. Nice. Let's rock guys. Let's learn about the crusades on the

Promise we'll do it this we've been fucking people on We'll see I got in a bit of a world war one hole Let's do a mix. Let's do a fucking. I don't really know anything about it. I've been listening I've been watching all quite on the western front on repeat playing battlefield one and listening to carlin every night. Yeah, so you're I don't know anything about it though. I doubt that Let's let's do like a we'll just jump timelines and again When I when I lose where I'm at in the crusade jump into world one and then I'll jump back into the crusade It'll be the same thing. I'd be like they invented barbwire

What the fuck All right. Thank you guys. Bye