Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 422 - The Professional (feat. Billy McCusker)

Episode Date: December 23, 2022

Go watch Gilly and Keeves "The Special" @ gillyandkeeves.tv Support WARMODE @ patreon.com/WARMODE Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch & Get Tickets to See Matt @ mssecretpodcast.com shanemgillis.com YO. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays. We're in the hotel. We got Bill. Blazin' hot cast. Warmode Bombaye. God Bless. Please Enjoy.  Support the show by going to sheathunderwear.com and use promo code DRENCHED to get 20% off your first order. Visit https://www.Fitbod.me/DRENCHED to get 25% off your subscription of FitBod Go to https://heartandsoil.co/?utm_source=pod&utm_medium=campaign&utm_id=drenched & use code DRENCHED10 for 10% off your first order Get 25% OFF @ trueclassic with Promo Code DRENCHED at https://trueclassictees.com/DRENCHED #trueclassicpod

There's a dude like one of those whatever the fucking guys in the turbines just staring out like what the fuck Appropriate dang yeah, World Cup was very exciting. Yeah, I did I was catching snippets of it here and there It was very I thought France was gonna win for some reason. They yeah, it was a they were favorite France versus the new the neo literally the neo Nazis Argentina. Yeah, new Nazis a lot of escaped You lose the Nazis every turn did the Nazi state Argentina those white blue-eyed Argentinians Those motherfuckers I watch a documentary on Maradona. It's pretty good. Yeah Maradona he's from Argentina. They played over in Italy hand of God He's just like really a beast everything about him. Just cool as fuck. Yeah, nice

I got into it I got sucked into a world couple like all my shit on Instagram just like sick shit about soccer Really, you know, I actually like it. Watch out. What I was in sick goal compilations for about a decade. I finally got out I would watch sick goals. I could every great goal. I can tell you I just love the chance The people get fun. It's so sad when you see the Americans like try to do it They hit like I believe that we will win. It's like bros fucking. It's so embarrassed. Let's just stick We're sector one. We're sector one from the Hunger Games. Obviously. We're a little funny. Yeah, we're the world capital true

If it wasn't for two brothers, dude, we wouldn't be where we are. Oh We're gonna slide right into the office slide right. Well, I do hate American soccer chance Yeah, embarrassing that we try to imitate Europe The kids who try to be like big soccer heads are fucking confusing American want to be Europe heads might be the worst I would say type of dudes to be around You should be able to spot them too Like remember like when we grew up like we'd have like people from Europe come over and we call them like the wiggles and shit Yeah, they would come over dress weird as shit. No, my dad would call them

The way the wiggles you see they both went to the bathroom. Yeah, but they were We had your uh, we had yours. Yeah, we just call them harry potters. Yeah Harry potters just be like this isn't fucking Hogwarts pussy I'm at the Hogwarts freak Yeah, you could see them they'd have like uh They have like tight jeans on and like a weird shirt that looked like it was somehow from the 80s But like still fancy and you'd be like no fucks this guy's problem. Yeah, he's from one of those fucked up countries Now swag's all mixed up swag is this could be from anywhere

This this is from a yard in chester was out in the fucking yard I found it and washed it a few times down the fence speaking chester. What what you know what my uncle's into genealogy He got obsessed with it every family has one every family has one alex haley I've been I've been bamboozled My family is not from fucking island like I thought my grandma was from island We've been here forever, dude. Really a lot of us A lot of us have really in chester one of them came down to check We were all coal miners in island and then came over to carbondale pennsylvania were coal miners in the coal region and

then Uh, my one uncle they only found my like great great great grandfather They found one news article about him and he was beat to death by a gypsy in chester county. Oh chester Gypsy tricked him Told me it was a horse doctor and he beat him to death What the fuck dude? That was my great grandfather last name dylan Will you avenge? I knew I hated gypsies. Yeah, he got tricked by a horse doctor

Chester county's not like the bad chester. That's not shitty up. It's not city That's where like they have like horses and shit like that's what that's why he got tricked He literally got like tricked in the woods. Yeah, but this was chester county in what year was this the woods like 1870 Yeah, this was the woods, bro So he was just out there you got he literally got ran up. He got he got killed in a gypsy camp In the woods by the peak. Well, the peaky banners beat him to death out in the woods, dude My fucking poor grand great great great grandfather. What the fuck dude? What the hell? I was furious He was on official horses. I was reading it like wait. Why does my whole family be like talk about like we're from island

We've been here since like first of all every Irish person does it. It's so annoying dude. Yeah, wait Wait, what did you get your 23 and me back? I've told stories. I've been like, yeah, my grandma spoke with an Irish accent No, she didn't she didn't have been lying this whole time. She didn't have an accent. No, my grandma didn't but I I don't know what I thought I said no that Notre Dame stuff gets people riled up to the point where they think they're like Oh, I'm from I'm one. I'm one person off the boat I could have Irish citizens. I will say I was told that Our mommy's daddy and mommy are from Ireland. Oh, you better make sure oh, they are I couldn't understand I couldn't understand my my pop. Oh really at all. We'd sit with them and he'd be like

Time goes so he had a fucked up hand. You go time goes so fast. You don't know what you're running I feel like mom, please fucking come get me. This is terrifying He would send me in to get beers for him. He do also had no cap on uh Underage drinking and he ever since I was a little kid. He'd be like, do you want some beer? Finally, I'd go over there in high school and be like, let's select more. Yes. Oh, that's exciting Yeah, he was a man. He was a man like that always would hook you up with a brusky Also, they're real the real I did you have any like growing up like ghost stories your family would tell No, not about the what's it called? What's the one you're the bag man? That's universal apparently. Yeah, that's completely universal

But every single one of them like all our great aunts and stuff They all they work for like the dupans and shit and they would have stories of like them being at the dupana states and like Ghosts coming at them like every single one of them is some of my family moved to Carbondale and set up a housekeeping business or in spring garden Damn, bro. Yeah, housekeepers. Yeah. I guess the Irish probably were all kind of doing the exact same shit I'm pretty sure our mom and aunts were at fox catcher farms. They were yeah, my one aunt on it apparently the dupans and it was a big thing to keep uh Sugar and like a dish or no salt in a dish

They thought they thought salt was in salt shakers But like the extremely wealthy would just keep a bowl of salt on the table My aunt thought it was sugar So my aunt put a bunch of sugar in the dupan one of the ponds downing table They thought it was salt and they were slathering in their soup and they were like I didn't know people kept fucking sugar or salt in a big ass dish. So I had that I had that going on Damn, did you take the 23 of me? I had not it was on my table when I left It's back in New York. I'll take it. Oh, okay. I'm excited. I kind of don't want I don't think I would do it

Why I want to see I'm just not like they're they're doing they're doing too much shit trying to fuck with your dna But like I probably have it by now, but are they gonna fucking clone me? They could that'd be nasty, dude Everyone's kind of sick. It's a herd of me. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like, what are you gonna? What's the worst you clone me and I get to do the ultimate showdown with my shadow self My government government Matt McCusker. I'll fight him to the death. That'd be crazy. I want I'm I'm gonna take it I took actually two 23 and me and the other one You took 23 and me. Yeah, we've talked about this. Yeah, and you had zero Oscar nazi jew

Not had you but didn't didn't you say your dad had like a person liked one of our uncles he claims I don't do it. It's so weird because it's like I have one percent western Wanted a transfusion Well, my dad told me I was jewish in when I was in grade school We had to do a project for school like find out what we were and he told me I was jewish to mess with me And then I went into school. They're like, yeah jewish, dude Yes, I am but in he was being like no, it's fucking around. I was saying like I'm an irish jew I'm good with my money

It was a 90s, dude, and it was a compliment. No, I know it's just funny I can't hear that it's like jewish Perfect the report tomorrow I was dead. Seriously. I'm excited. What are we? I'm an irish jew My dad always he always goes. I'm not fucking irish. Like crap. He always he holds it down where he goes There's fucking idiots. He's like, I'm not fucking irish. I'm english and I'm jewish I'm actually a true jew. I'm i'm english No, you're irish

He's been holding it down But no the um, yeah, I looked into it. I have 1% western asian in me, which I'm pretty pumped on western asian I got fucked up eyes like that Dude like western asians. No western asia western asia is like Russia They got you ever see like that's me some dudes on in the mouth. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They kind of got small eyes You guys are cockas. Yeah. Oh gee Although we're tartaria. Yeah, I think perhaps open your eyes again

You do look like someone who should be in like iraki or something like some like desert nation with like Freak That's a nice thing to say before christmas. It's christmas time What's your favorite christmas song? It's the holiday season That's it Mine is I like uh Rockin around. Yeah, the christmas. That's a good one. Yep. You guys think of that like that one

I like the one that goes make your yuletide No joy to the world, what am I talking about dude Can I tell you a story about christmas carols? Yes, I'd love it. So we did a thing Brittany signed us up. It was called swimming with santa. So we went It was just us. We had our kids with us and we were all in this pool In south philly and we're swimming around. It was awesome, dude And this lady was just leading the charge making everyone sing christmas carols while we're on the pool Dude, I honestly want to start an aqua course. What month was this? This was like fucking last week as you were swimming and

I was swimming and seeing christmas carols dude. I know that must be so fun. No, it was so awesome, dude I was splashing around singing christmas carols. It was the funniest shit ever. It was awesome. Then they were like I think we did it. No, it was enjoyed to the world. It was uh Oh my god, the one was like a silent night. That was like I was watching the whole pool sing silent night Very, you know, it was a very fucking movie. Dude. We're singing about the very that's very catholic lyrics Dude, we're singing like intensely christian lyrics and there was like definitely like hindu's next to us and stuff and i'm sitting there being like Welcome boys. Yeah, enjoy it. Enjoy it. This is pretty tight. Welcome to the sickest dude. It was funny watching It was like strictly catholic. She's like, I love this one so much and out dude. It was so fun

Singing that and then we did that root off the red nose ranger. I mean we had to throw in a secular one for the boys but Dude, it was it was a blood dude. I'm telling you aquacourse has to start Swimming and singing with like a bunch of people is maybe the fun to sing in the world It was and then santa came in it was like whole thing. It was like santa supposed to jump in the pool dude Santa Claus first of all was this guy. He was jacked as fuck. You could see it through the santa outfit I'm like get the fuck out. It's just like a pool thing. So it's like lifeguards. This guy's fucking cock diesel, dude

I'm like I look built like Brock Leskin I What the fuck santa supposed to be jolly, dude This guy is definite like washboard abs probably is on fucking steroids. I'm not liking this I'm looking to the other dads. We're you know, we all have our december bodies. We're going. Yeah, come on Come on, man. We believe it's fucking guy. I mean if I worked in a fucking pool slash gym I'd be looking like that too and the fuck out here dude. He jumps in his beard I guess they didn't realize like when they jumped in the water this whole uniform become disheveled

He jumped in in the uniform. Yeah in the santa uniform, dude. The beard comes off Now he's looking like the fucking aquaman in the pool It's fucking all the shit starts coming off and then I had to be like kids turn away. We can't see this Turn away from this pervert Well, then it was like he like he did the right thing He kind of like hid and just kind of crocodile on the surface being like dude vert your kids gaze They're gonna find out i'm not the real santa And then he had to like swim away and shame what we all kind of looked the other way and I said you fucking idiot

That's what you get That was an epic feeling back in the day. What being in like fifth grade and you're there's still some stragglers who believe And like the teacher drops a little hand on everyone that knows like yeah santa's coming It's always very powerful feeling you get to look at the teacher like Yeah, I pick up what you're putting down Yeah, but yeah, that was pretty tight. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to happen to your great-grandfather I'm here by a gypsy. I'm gonna fucking beat to death by a gypsy camp made by the name of doc gardener I'll find him that was the man. That was the man who did it sounds like an Irish man

There's a sleazy gypsy who did it. Well, I mean a gypsy camp. Yeah Apparently I've heard you know, I've heard that's where the covered wagon comes from Celtic culture Like the working trail wagons there. They were like a big time thing for the kill for the gypsies Yeah, yeah, and they use them too if you watch piggy blinders that that that came from the culture The covered wagon That was it. That was an advanced technology back then horse and chariot Dude started just smashing people. Well connoisseur wagon out here connoisseur PA You imagine that just hand-to-hand combat. Oh chariot. Yeah full speed at someone on a horse and you're just like

Fuck this man. Yeah, that must have been such a powerful feeling just getting pulled on two rickety wooden wheels and just fucking Yeah, fixing that would have been heavy as shit Your wheel just breaks. It's fucking wood You're kind of fuck. Yeah, they had a lot of interns back then A lot of several unpaid interns A lot of coffee runs for the unpaid interns Um, yeah, it's real small man. I like to I like that you're pointing us in the direction of history Thank you because it's time for us to discuss

What the fuck happened with JFK? No, yeah, I mean, what the fuck? Dude, have you ever looked into this Lee Harvey Oswald loan shooter? As a dude told it down my dad held it down Wow, imagine boy Lee Harvey Oswald the guy was a fucking crackpot I was like, Phil, what are you talking about? He's like, okay, Shane. He was like mad. I made him watch I tried to make him watch that documentary. What's he doing fell asleep. He's just sitting there Snoring extremely loud He's like, yeah, it's pretty interesting. Shane. This just went to bed. Hold on one more

I made So I had my girlfriend with me and I was like, all right My mom was like, let's watch a movie. I was like, I have a good movie and we watched I made my dad watch Judas and the Black Messiah Let me tell you something. Phil Hitting an old man with black panther stuff is very funny. He did not like it I was like Fred Hampton's man. He's like, I'm not saying he's not the man Shane That's just uneasiness the whole time. Yeah, that whole movie I watched it like last week. I watched it two nights ago

My family didn't like it whole family My mom was as soon as my mom was like, well, that didn't make me feel good. That's not that was not a fun movie My dad was like, they made white guys look bad the whole time I was like, yeah, it was the 50s and 60s. It was the FBI killing several nights later Did they come out in that paperwork like now they're saying like the CIA killed JFK That's that's what that's what sparked it again because I'd watched this documentary before probably like Last year and said all the exact same things I'm about to say but

Still rewatch the documentary because I was yeah, they released some documentaries that I think it was basically that uh, some documents pardon me that uh Lee Harvey Oswald had connections to the CIA Spades ears must be hot right now. Yeah. Well, so does the you know who uh, it's the pure expert I know that's why I wanted him here He had to work because he's gonna listen to this and a lot of a lot of our listeners are pure experts themselves Who's a dude shot Lee Harvey Oswald? Jack Ruby. Jack Ruby. He was an FBI informant Yeah, that was crazy

My my thing is if you were if if you thought someone was cheating on you and you found out the amount of inconsistencies in their story As in the war in whatever war miles war report you'd be like they're definitely cheating on me. Absolutely. So I think it's case closed The thing that trips me up is the amount of time and effort that went into making movies about Lee Harvey Oswald doing this And how it happened You see the picture imagine going to like we're doing a movie on this And there's a bunch of people and they spend hours on it and they make tons of them and now it's again That was a lie. So why the fuck did you guys just do all these weird movies forever?

That's so much time and money Yeah, but these these geezers didn't understand the internet because that was the one thing when I was I was looking up at Dulles brothers The dulls is it dulls or dulls the dulls brothers don't ever say someone's name, especially if they might be an enemy of yours Don't say their name properly Oh, yeah You're casting a spell when you say their name it's casting a spell

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No, she was telling me like you're looking good I looked down at my like stomach acne had flared up and I was fatter than I usually am and I was like shut off man I'm going to bed One of the uh, one of the english like I think it was church one of his church was boys was talking about the one guy Like the the secretary of state dolls. Yeah, he was saying that is His george foster his speech is slow. Yeah, it's like his speech is slow But luckily his thoughts have no problem keeping up with his speech English slam, dude. They're nasty. They're not all nasty fucking

When Churchill said he's a bull. He's the only bull he knows who keeps a china shop around on him at all times Churchill does have some nasty fucking uh he The dullest boys. Yeah, they're the jfk thing. Oswald was He was clearly si they knew this then when they made this fucking documentary. They knew it the whole time Yeah, well, they had the pictures of him with the rifle and the He did a picture of him with a rifle and they'd gone on a sip and they're like his girlfriend took a picture of him

Which first of all, I'm like if that's true shout out to that chick. Yeah big babe quick Dude, let me hold this. I'm holding a rifle which then is not the rifle. I know with the fucking strap at the bottom Come on, dude. Yeah, you know about that. It wasn't your military educated brother. I mean, I'm just a civilian laughing I'm not the one in fatigues right now I'm not stealing valour like a chump just some pants I saw you get saluted when you walked in the hotel today The guy said the guy said bonjour actually. It's a lap of luxury. This is this looks like new york man hat This does look like new york man hat and look at it

It's a wall there. You know what I did notice. There's a fucking computer On the first floor as you walk in It's a business center. Do this for you little business emails. What that's a business in case you need to print photos and emails I know but I went to florida keys as a youth when I was real young with me and my cousin and that was there Of course, you give me a fucking free ones.com now google image search jenna jamison. Let's go Oh, yeah, the business you would use the business and we ran away this dude walked there like what the fuck You would use a hotel business center for that kind of stuff google image search jenna jamison Yeah, that's a hotel business center. Yeah, me and pat defiled it. That's the hotel funny business center

This guy's trying to send important faxes on the hotel business I won't buy it like six or seven time. Just like Dude, if that guy did you think that guy caught a glimpse of jenna or was it just a search? Dude, if he saw jenna, that's back then you probably went straight to his hotel room and whacked off It would be funny to just go and start beating off shamelessly at hotel business centers and be like I'm handling my business. That's what I'm doing. That's what I do at my office. I'm beating off I might start beating off on every zoom call. I'm on just out. But yeah, I know I'm beating off. I know I'm masturbating I'm in my own home or just big. Oh my god. I had no idea like excuse me guys

I just literally hit my webcam. Oh my god guys. I'm sorry my thing. I didn't even hear you guys fucking telling me to stop Jerk it off. Sorry I came out like oh shit. I came ever. I'm sorry That's just so Want to be like if you're at a work me like who's that dude fucking tubin? Tubin jeffrey tubin or tubin his name from cnn. Yeah, you got caught twice, right? Literally just like computer went down. He started beating it. It's like bro like Fuck like why are you that morning? You have to jerk off that bad. He was probably looking at one of the ladies in the meeting

But it's kind of like jerking off at work I could see that being an irresistible kind of urge where it's like finally I'm at my house But I'm also around like this work energy that gets me so torqued. Yeah, I can finally start jerking off Yeah, I've always been away from that like I well. Yeah, you work I was with dudes and then I was in an all-boy school. So it's just like never really horny shit going on Yeah, I hear you No, for sure dude So anyway blow my mind with jfk

You nasty fuckers don't turn on me. He's the one who made that nasty guy. He's laughing. Yeah, for sure. I can do that I have waves of people gay bill gay bill I Thought people were saying money is gay for like three months. Yeah, and then I put two and two together. That's gay bill Oh, it's emoji rainbow emoji. Now you're full-time podcaster, dude. Well, not necessarily People say like I'm just slacking off brother. I'm working every day Oh, yeah, you are working. So these these fools say like if they were to quit their job. Yeah, you would sit home Sigma grind set like me

Fucking work That's what happens when you're in the sigma grind set. I mean, I'm gotta tell you You got the drake onesie. You're a sigma grind set. It's not a onesie and this is not the drake swatch I know I'm not it's not the drake. So choose. Yeah when you got that you were ready to go in a sigma grind set I've been in sigma god. Yeah, man. Yeah, I can tell dude Don't get fucking aggressive with me, dude. I'm just I'm also I'm kind of a full-time podcaster myself Dude, if you get aggressive with me, I'm gonna kill myself I

Look the oldest brothers j. Okay, dude How about how about so lee harvey Oswald gets out of marines gets sent or he's still in the marines He gets shipped to what is it otzaga? In japan, you know this dude. Come on. Yes He gets to Japan where they're doing the u2 spy planes Fully CIA then he just leaves there. What the hell and he goes to Moscow or something. Yeah, what the fuck are we talking about? They're obsessed with the roof keys, dude Trill it's been like this forever. Yeah, but I was I was actually more I was fascinated by the dullest brothers

They don't teach you too much about the dollars in school. So I I watched this youtube from this guy steven kinser Yeah, I watched I watched the c-span interview with him dude those interviews Those interviews they do with the fucking late all the ladies of white bowl cuts in the front row I didn't know they and those ladies get lit in the q&a They have fucking questions. They start asking questions. Yeah, dude. They got just asking questions They have serious fucking questions and do you truly in your Well, dude, did you so you watch the thing where the most kids are talking about the dullest brothers came from

Yeah, Calvinist grandfather. Yeah, other grand. Yeah, well how the grandfather blasted across like the frontier and just like Got you did he was on his manifest destiny, kid Yeah, he got in politics freak Christians Um in new york here. Yeah, and what's that place water not water for water something Waterloo, I don't know That they were he was explaining their the the reason the dullest brothers were the dullest brothers and the the coolest story in the beginning He looks for the bust He goes guys the airport's named after the dullest brothers were

Where the fuck's the bust of the one dullest brother and everyone goes what the fuck you talking about? And it was hidden in a like a conference room near the baggage claim and he goes What an apt what an apt symbol for their place in american history covered over Pushed to the side a petition to change the dullest airport to the fred hampton airport Did you be sick? I'm gonna start that petition. You should yes fred hampton airport to be sick This guy what kinsley was trying to do he was trying to remember the painting of glorious victory Diego Rivera Or they did that big mural of the united fruit company and the two dullest brothers there and like the dead babies everywhere

Like money falling out. He was trying to get that mural in the airport He was trying to get in the airport, but he went he was trying to find that mural. It was no longer in mexico Diego Rivera communist donated it to Russia and then russia were they were kind of like yeah, he's like they didn't really apparently they didn't really fuck with latin america They didn't fuck with latin x communist apparently. Yeah russia were like those guys aren't real communists They don't understand So they just rolled his scroll up and they're like the big mural they rolled it up and they just keep it in the basement

And he wants to get that in the dullest airport He wants to have that big mural of all the dead guatemalan babies in the dullest airport I would like that and may and he also he shamelessly was like, you know, maybe put a couple of my books right there If you want to buy them it's like you motherfucker, dude Yeah, he starts the first thing I watched with that guy kinser was a C-span interview and he started like smiling and be like well, let me tell you about the dullest brothers And I was like this fucking pussy. Yeah, he's gonna be pro dullest

Scum he keeps going now. He was very anti Crushes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he crushes him. I mean he gets into their like Absolute psychology. I think it's hard to look into them and be pro dullest their assholes He's these literally suck and do nothing but destroy america. Yeah, but he exactly his his thing is these guys had no idea They none of them knew like the internet was coming out So they had no clue that like they thought they could like go to stabilize guatemalan be like That'll all get lost in a shuffle of pity. It must have been so easy to pull the wool over people's eyes back there

Yeah, I was talking to spade about this like back like now I got the internet's kind of fucking people's heads up back then He just had had a water crocodile or someone just be like this is the truth and everyone believed it. Yeah Yes, the thing about guatemala we should touch on matt. Yeah, let me tell you something I yeah, when you think about it bill, it makes my fucking mind spin uh It's fucking the fruke. What's it called? What's the fruke? United fruit company was in guatemala

Guatemala, I think it was a their first democratic elected guy. He comes in he wants to Give the land that the fruit company is not using to the people for the people. Yeah, it revolutionized and the dullest brothers were working for Cromwell and whatever solving Cromwell at the time who represented the fruit company And the fruit company was like we don't want them to give this fucking land the way So then these freaks go in there and koo they kooed out Yeah, they adjusted into iran the same thing. They're working for solvent and cromwell

Iran is like we're nationalizing our oil and they had to go back to the schroeder bank and go as old as time They had to go guys. We told you we promised you it's kind of our job to make sure countries don't step out of line We lost this one guatemala did it. They went well fuck this and then they both took office the next year Director of the cia first thing they did was destroy iran and then the second thing they do is come back and destroy Hotamala a 35 year civil war bill a lot of people got fucked up too What in guatemala? Yeah, you fucked up. Yeah, 35 year civil war. I'm very pro guatemala too. They're strong individuals You what you work with them? Yeah The guatemalans are good bros. I like them. Yeah, guatemalans are good bros

It's unfortunate with the goddamn dollars is due to them. They're pretty bad boys Yeah, but that was their whole thing apparently their grandfather was like you got to teach these motherfuckers dude civilizations away You got to take it to him at every fucking cost, dude Or at any cost that does fire me up. I like that's that's the shit they were on So they were like, yeah, we'll get in there. Dude the brother two brothers apparently were ideologically twins They believed the exact same shit or the head of the visible government and the head of the invisible government at the same time How about alan dollas and all his sex coupades? He was a fucking people person. God damn sex That was the thing alan dollas is life of the party. Yeah

So everyone would be like people didn't even know what the cia was doing They were like, well that guy's kind of fun tons of affairs. He had sex with the queen of greece Apparently he was pretty sex sex with the queen of greece and apparently he was uh, this guy does have some positives He was he was way into james bond news. He was going around like the stabilizing guatemala like Hit a little tiny gun he was like nice. I started another genocide in indonesia. We've done it again brother Well, he used to write the author of james bond all the time in fleming whatever his name was He would write him constantly and he'd be like apparently there was

Fleming eventually put in a cia guy that was supposedly based off alan dollas into the thing so We're a bunch of fucking jerks Yeah, but apparently the dude was getting pumped and he was he was petitioning the cia to make james bond weaponry And they had to be like dudes. This doesn't exist as a fantasy. Please stop. Please stop giving us james. We can't make you james bond weapons He's like shame. Well, those guys are like drunk as balls too. Yeah, they're always drunk and always lying to each other Yeah, that's pretty sick. It's really fucking open my conics Just dammit lying to each other at all times

Those dudes were always talking shit on each other de-stabilizing countries and also were balls ass drunk Yeah, just were fucked up now. We're here. Well, that's what they say. They say, uh, which one we call it That was the reason for vietnam as well like Churchill and the french whoever the french guy was copters and harrowing well, apparently the Churchill and whoever's represented france were like, yeah, ho Chi Minh is definitely you can't fuck him up and the fucking dullest one You guys are lame walked out walked out on the convention. He was first time You guys did it the european way. Yep. What do you see the american way? We're gonna go fuck them up And apparently they say, you know, he was careful like I don't want to blame everything bad in the world that happened

But he goes it's a huge it was the start of us being like we got this We're gonna go in there. He's like we could have potentially avoided the vietnam warm Yeah, well, that's that leads us straight to john f kennedy. Yep because he was trying to pull out dude You know this and he was being cool with the russians. They're calling the russians. He was starting to be cool with fucking fidel Yeah, he's being cool with algeria. He was he was he was being cool. He's real cool in africa, too. Yeah That's where algeria is Dude, you don't understand you don't understand what i'm doing right now I'm in a rebuilding phase. I'll go to i'll sit in the sauner for fucking 40 minutes. Yeah

With headphones on this thing You're joking with me. Dude. I'm gonna be beast mode You're gonna sing my grind right now. Do you understand that you're sitting with your beast mode, huh? What are you gonna do? Dude, I sit in a fucking sauna spade sent me a thing from john lily called cogitate. It's auditory hallucination Talks about all sorts of sick shit and then it starts saying cogitate over and over again And then my headphones will cut out and then I can hear blood pumping in my body To the point where I think i'm going to pass out in city fitness by myself and in saunas

And I don't I get I was like that was crazy. You're pushing yourself to the brink. It's brinksmanship. Yeah, you're a dullis That's like the dullis brothers brinksmanship. No, which one would you say you are more of an alan? john foster whatever i'd like to think i'm an alan i'm a john foster Like joe i have a i have a frail constitution socially awkward I'm an alan Damn, all right, joe whatever's name is john dullis. No, i'm joe joe who joe mama fuck Damn, dude, like I said, i'm going in beast mode. I'm listening to my blood pump. Don't fuck with me. Don't fuck with me Don't fuck right there. Don't fuck. Please. We love god when I see my brother get struck down like that

It drives me up a wall You want to fucking come up here? Yeah, but back me into a corner, but That's your mama. I'm fucking crazy. That's your mama. You gotta say mama. I'm fucking use your mama yourself You your mama yourself. No, that's the type of dullis. I ops. We're working with matt. I like it Maybe you might be hoaching in dude, huh? You might be hoaching in. I honestly don't think so If anyone I would just say i'm jfk jr. Really? Yeah Hmm

That's a decent one rfk makes an appearance in the rfk jr. Makes an appearance boys throat It hurts him takes a second if you get used to him talking Vaccines did it to him. Really? That's what he says. He does hate the vaccine. They're fucked up We were watching my dad. I was like, he's a little fucked up. Huh? The government's been killing his family for 15 years. The government they work for has been killing them any chills too You know, he dates the wife's a bit of a loudmouth larry david's white or larry david's wife on kerb Does he that's his bae didn't his wife get him in a little bit of hot water?

They um, they had a party. She apparently she released. Okay jr. Is dating sharyl hines. Yes, this is wife The hot water they got him was they had a party. He's walking around being all grumpy about the vaccine He's like doesn't even do anything. It's fucking bullshit Yeah, sharyl hines. Yeah, man like that No, yeah, but apparently she leaked to the press that they said that allegedly that he asked for Vaccines requirement stuff. It was on his bow. I didn't believe it for a second. It was on a thing online where it's like online Invitations of shit and they probably just put that on there on purpose. The man literally hates vaccines. I know I didn't believe it for a second. I didn't believe it for a second. I saw it

Did you read the real Anthony Fauci? I had a good part of it. Yeah, I watched a lot of his songs Anthony Fauci literally fucking ventilates Allegedly allegedly Use a shelf Striking down for covid misinformation. That's not covid. That's eight. Well, I know but if you talk about the great doctor Fauci You're discrediting all the hard work our fucking nurses did Yeah, true. Sorry, literally put himself in the line of fire and bill things were uncertainty. We're moving and changing with the information Sorry, we let's all forgive and forget. We're just gonna hit. Let's talk about something else

Everyone who's been calling me retarded for two years is now happy with uh, let's talk about something else Who called you? Who called you over? I never said that. No, I'm just saying the the haters and the losers are you fighting the commentators, dude Not the commentators. There's people in general. Who? Oh, you're boys. You want to get sick. Yeah bros Bros, everyone. Yeah, they don't want to they don't want to think about everyone Most people are just completely thinking about their own self advancement and this stuff They kind of like swim these currents of information

Did you know that there's like a very big group of people in the world that don't have inside thoughts? I've heard about this. Did you know that? Yeah, I know that's fucking crazy. That's what do you mean? What's the there's no inner monologue? Yeah ever I've been looking at a couple friends of mine. Yeah, I've been like there's no way there's a thought process Yeah, they just everything's like they just go with the flow. They're just watching they're watching they're going A great mind like you though. I see you and I'm like, that's an inner monologue guy What percent what percent of the population? I think it's like a third. Yeah, I think so. I'd believe a lot of fucking people. I'd believe that It's really funny. It's hilarious. I mean somebody in this room

Someone's got no who's got no inner monologue No, I'm joshin, dude, what are you thinking about over there? Yeah, for real. What were you just thinking about? I saw you sitting on the bed. Yeah, prove you have a lot of Look deep in thought. Oh, I'm I just started a new little radio. Oh, I'm starting a new little radio show. I'm doing okay Nice, and I was thinking about that. Okay. Good. What's the radio show? It's called. It's yeah It's on K-Piz. The thing that blizz does like his little radio thing. I saw it starts today at six Yeah, I'm just playing music. I'm trying to lay in really close in that bed. It's fucking freaking me out Simultaneously moved to inward. Yeah, true. Yeah, lovebirds. Yeah, so you've you've got a radio show headed this way

Yeah, for sure. It starts today. Yeah, are you excited about I'm very excited. That's why you have to leave. Yeah, that's why it starts six Yeah, you're gonna get a little buzzed before you do it. Probably not. You should you should get fucked up. Maybe Maybe I'll black out. It's called feel something Nice play music or anything. Yeah, we'll kind we'll be there everything stuff that makes you feel something bill like what bill wants in bills You gotta see Bill wants to be a DJ That'll make you feel something What Bonnie right now the only one it was okay. I do have I wouldn't do

That's what I was thinking too that's not it. Oh, that's that's uh, what's her name? Fucking little affair. I don't know for your name You know, I'm talking about What's up? Why you low energy? No, I'm not. I'm trying to I'm trying to find out what the song is Oh, not the only one by Bonnie. I mean I gotta play it real sing it. I can't sing you can sing dude It's more of like we're a musical family. No, I love singing. I I already sang my holiday thing. I'm not here to be a Singer we're not I didn't I couldn't sing it right now. I don't know how serious you guys gonna put me on a spot like that

It's not good dude. What are you talking about? You're in the arts now. I'm not in the arts You got to be a triple threat. Give me a pro podcast. Give me a triple threat. You want to be a pro podcast? Triple threat be a pro podcast or DJ construction man You want to be all the village people? You see you make me sit lower than you guys Dude, that was just a chair that was in here. I was the chair. Yeah, I know but Did you guys plan about this? No That way it's honestly you're close you could stand

You stood over us It's you know, I won't do stand up. I don't know why you're choosing to sit in that chair No one said you had to sit in that chair. You guys said you sit in this chair. I'm gonna tower over you I don't remember that So you you've become you're going into beast mode again. I'm fucking I'm going into beast mode I did pull my back though the last week that beast mode. That is beast mode You know, it is. Yo, you are the placebo, bro. What's that? You are the placebo. What's that mean? Just watch your dr. Joe dispense and I'll tell you how to cure your back

You have to sit there and just imagine your spine coming back together and you can heal your spine Then I would just be sore for like two weeks until I got better by itself. You are the placebo. Don't forget That's fucking bullshit Dr. Joe, dr. Joe dispenser dude, he fucking put his own spine back together with his thoughts He's probably lying. I don't think so. You can easily fake it back in dream Just go like oh, I can't get up and then think about it for three weeks He got like crushed by a car. I think look up Joe dispensa, please Your fellow Italian guy

No, dude, he fucking put his spine back together. He claims you put his spine back together You want to get on the guy and now sneak oil, dude, dude, you want to think you're way into fixing your spine way too heavy Sigma grad could be this is essentially the power of prayer true This guy, I don't know. I don't know if he went. I only I've never read his book I've been told about it. I read the back and went man, that sounds cool You're cozy for him. You don't even know the first thing that I'm saying what he said, bro I'm gonna say and this is what he's up to. You don't think the mind has more powers than we let on I think we're how ancients are dna, dude. You don't think are the ancientness of our dna affects our thoughts or thinking better dna

who The government the dullest brothers. Why don't we change your dna? Huh? What do they want to change? mRNA literally change your dna does it really? Yeah, except the m is it turn dna and m rna? It fucks with it Does it? Yeah I don't like that. What's up with dr. Joe dispensa? Give me the let me the lowdown Dispens a visualized each vertebrae healing and reconstructed his spine with his mind in just 10 and a half weeks. So did I Usually it's kind of quicker than that. I reconstructed my mind with my thoughts

Your mind is fine. It's my mind that you could do that too. I got a song for you. Where is my mind? What's the Barney Ray song, what's that? What's the Barney Ray song not the only one dude I can't I literally can't sing you asked me to sing a woman's song. That's great I can't believe I can't think of that lady's name She's like she was like the headliner of the lil affair the whole time. What's the lil affair? It's like the first lesbian festival. Yeah Melissa ather jay. Dude. Did you see that fucking uh all-women sports? Uh, Why are you laughing?

Why are you fucking laughing? Just gotta all-womens uh Sports bar, they just made one in seattle. They're the most brutal people alive all women's sports all gym teachers. Yeah Have you seen it's fucking insane. They only play chick shit Wait, some of us want to watch women's football games on like what? So the ladies can go like be like a couple cold ones get a couple cold ones Living in a fantasy land wait, it's a sports bar that actually shows women's only woman. No, but don't know only women's sports Yeah, I think it's called like rough and tumble or some retarded like that rough and tumble pub. Yeah

The amount of fucking psych meds and that alcohol someone's gonna shoot it up If you're at a fucking sports bar an all-girl sports bar and you're a chick Yeah, the odds of you not being on psych meds is zero You're swimming in fucking just the craziest thoughts and we're like i'm gonna go watch a volleyball game right now And everything is fine and my family doesn't have the backboard on a layup and you just lose your mind Oh, shit, it's fucking crazy. That's the most retarded thing in the world. Hey bill. It's fucking stupid slow down You don't think that's dumb all women's sports bar. No, I don't want to be there. I go. Hey, this is pretty dumb I think it's cool. Why would you have a horrible business concept? You don't like women watching sports bill? I think it's not good for business

You know with a regular fucking bar, you know, how hard do you think britney greiner came out of russian prison? That's a man, dude. You think britney greiner came out of the bar. It's not a that's a fucking woman Do you see the video over poolside? No, that's a fucking doesn't even have tits She's an athlete, bro Doesn't even have it doesn't even have the puffy nipples that chick with no tits at britney greiner is a lady It's a dude. It's a lady, bro. Why are you saying it's watch the video? It's a dude britney greiner is a lady dude who misses a girlfriend in russian prison got out and they had passionate sex That's how did you see the videos of her poolside? I mean, I saw her back when she was playing a baler, dude

I've been on britney greiner. I was thinking about baler the other day What was that big shit on espn when there was like a murder in a cornfield that involved baler people Do you remember what i'm talking about? It was all over espn all the time. The coach was art bryles There was some basketball thing where like there was a murder in a cornfield. It was all baler kids And then baler got crushed for like a severe rape They were up to no good Yeah, pretty girl No, uh, maybe she got rid of them. She ain't got no ditty. She was doing push-ups in russian prison, dude

Whoa, what the hell What'd you stumble upon? Uh, that might be photoshop, but that's that's that's instagram live. It's just not dude She learned chill shirtless. That's kind of sick It's a dude. She might have any bitties, bro She might make cup angel What's the hold up here? You don't like a cup angels Please i do not touch my foot, dude, so i pants dude

She would fucking destroy the brah. Yeah. I mean, i'm just not i think it's they're doing dumb shit right now It was what i can't see the most like that's stupid Dude, they're gonna be hot women's sports. I can't even let it go but like for people to be pumped up on It's like all right guys like You're fucking with us Are people pumped on it? Yes People are fake pumped on the internet about this shit constantly. Yeah, it's weird It's like when you're talking about JFK and they do all those documentaries like why do you have to go on the internet and say

This is great So you think there's something more to it? I don't think it might be a front, you know, Nancy Pelosi's fucking She was on an email from goat hill pizza in san francisco. Yeah, like she had a big pizza thing Do you know that? No, i just figured that out the other day. She had a pizza thing going could have been a front for the dnc Did they ever get to the bottom of that guy that was with her husband? Oh, no, what the fuck was his name pepe la pepe or something the pepe No, supposedly he was with him when he got in a car crash Yeah, when he got the dui got a fucking dui. It was shit bald

He was with his buddy. Dude. Did you watch the Nancy Pelosi thing on HBO? No the documentary, dude He's so drunk all the time Every time he's literally just leaning on shit. It's like watching Nancy Pelosi do fuck all He's geased up let him fuck like Nancy Pelosi's on the phone like looking at memes of herself like laughing They like put her in other things like oh my god, that's hilarious That's like, yeah, give us seven trillion dollars to ukraine and all of our front companies are gonna get it Why are we giving all our money to ukraine, bro? Dude? They're all fucking they all got companies over there brisma remember that remember when we were getting laugh that in 2020

When we're like hunter bonding is on the head of brisma and everyone's that's fake. That's fake. That's russian disinfo Yeah, literally true now matt taiby says this true and it's sick. He gets on rogan for it Oh, dude. I'm gonna be started on math. Yes. Did we even talk about that? No, dude Matt hit us with the fucking brice's someone hit me with it. Someone gave me the doc or the another doc someone gave me the video of matt tabibi Don't say his name right good job. I like matt tabibi Matt tabibi Matt to pay Matt to pay pay

Yeah, and it was him and douglas mary versus Fucking what's his bitch ass name? Malcolm Gladwell and that lady the lady from the new york times It was in every month debate and just spazs us out in a past life. I used to view these Really used to watch chank yunger get Bodied by people. It's so great. Really. Oh, yeah. Who might have been shapiro. What that fucking stick Did they shapiro looks like mini chunk yunger dude? He looks like a tranny. You see with his beard Have you seen with his beard? Oh my god, bro. You gotta look up Do they set these up because every month debate I've seen is a conservative owning a lip

Is that the whole problem? I was wondering that but I don't know actually the only other one I saw was Jordan Peterson and the black and that guy Ty's Michael Tyson. Yeah I forget his name, but that guy's stunk like I don't know. I'd have to look into my Edward monks whatever his name is political. I think it's for conservatives to pun the libs It might be they keep bringing that lady back and she's useless Yeah, the moderator does the moderator was pretty fair. I was watching he was being fair, but Yeah, he doesn't let the libs off the hook. Yeah, one shouldn't be allowed to speak about politics

Oh, he's got like a fake beard. No, it's a real beard. That's him now. He's growing the beard up He looks good. He looks like he's on hormone replacement there Does he not? Yes He brought uh, what's his name? He brought jp over to israel to meet neton Nice, they flew him over to israel to meet neton. Nice. You what's what's wrong with that? Huh, what's wrong with that? I'm not a fan Oh, dude, neton. Yeah, I haven't knew wrong like him. Why? Huh? Why he's a nasty fucker. I do want free palestine

Yeah, you know, he came over and like did his I did some like real disrespectful shit one time What happened like he came over and did his laundry at the white house and meet with obama It's like weird shit I think obama would be give us the obamas playlist. It was it was cool. He probably didn't care Come on down obama's playlist is fucking bruises down here. We're shooting hoops. We're shooting hoops down here What are you doing? Who'd you bomb tell me about it, brother? Man down at the factory and scranton we used to bomb the shit out of yem and man

We bombed him in 40,000 times, man Can we do bomb diem in them any fucking times? He really ran out of bomb the shit Bruises like I used to work at the bomb factory for a bomb bomb Give me a call Me and the boys will build the bombs His whole shit was helping change and he literally just killed a ton of children and like weddings Yeah, well it all goes back

It all goes back to solvent and cromwell Yeah, imagine having one of them on your mantle. What like you blew up someone's wedding I mean, I basically torn up enough dance floors where I could I could say I know You blew up that circus Imagine blowing up a couple You blew up that's wedding fucking well any you give me a dance where I was at bogey nights last weekend, bro Were you yeah bogey nights in ac ac is fucked up I had to park in a motel like my truck's too big to fucking know not bragging

Literally just ladder axi-tility body extended cabbie for bed doesn't matter same with 2011 Uh, but I had to park in a motel parking lot. I parked in the wrong one So like you get there. It's fucked down there. You're in a motel. No, I was in a motel parking lot Okay, because I was staying at the top and we're doing a motel parking lot, bro My my best friend's mother was turning I think 65 So we all we all went down. I'm gonna take like a negative slam like why you party But you started to inch towards it and it's starting to get me upset. So I'm trying to not Try to change my way. Why are you dressed like Zelinsky?

Don't you're literally dressed like Zelinsky You literally have his gear You have his gear He's so gay, dude Okay, so you're the motel parking lot. You're dressed like Zelinsky. You're meeting guys in the motels I was I was saying why you parked in a motel you just got out of the steam room You just got out of the steam room in the public steam room. You're throbbing again You're so you're saying it didn't fit what it didn't fit. Yeah, so you had to park in the motel

Everyone's in the motel and then it was I couldn't go to the valet because they were getting there and it was a surprise party They can't handle that rig either. I mean you could backup camera. No big deal. True put an aftermarket head unit Don't what All right, but yeah, I parked in the motel. It was fun. We went to this place called boogie nights They just play oldies. I love that shit. That's fun. I went when we were at pat meg's wedding They're fucking pussy ass DJ wouldn't play anything nice. I would do please give me rods to or do you think I'm sexy? He wouldn't do it. That's kind of lame. I wouldn't hit with the black eyed peas I got a feeling which I'm a fan of at a wedding. It's all time. But yeah, it is the all-time

I listened to your warm-out episode where he was you ever hear that one where he's talking about He will be the ultimate DJ. I would fucking destroy my one playlist has like a thousand a 1900 likes And nice dude, you are good. Yeah, you are a nasty DJ. I know music. I'm good with that shit Yeah, but yeah, we went to boogie nights all this way We me and mad we big brother you a little bit. We pick on you a little bit But we like to build you up to your creative music dude. I do. I love getting compliments Really? It makes me if you compliment me when I'm doing something like oh, I can do this But if so the minute someone's like, dude, you suck at it

Knocks your legs up Knocks your legs. It does stink. That's very honest. Yeah That's how I was with basketball He literally I got to like my coach. He owed me just because I like you I was like, dude, if you fucking keep yelling at me when I'm trying to do a jump shot, I'm gonna miss Yeah, what do you think this is? True. No, I just eighth grade. I was just like, all right Enough people told me I sucked. I was like, well, that's goof off time. Yeah throwing the ball off the backboard and lay up line. Yeah

Yeah, I get yelled at in basketball. A little positive reinforcement goes a long way. It does They've studied that I think they studied that with like kids or something like telling kids They were gifted and then just tracking them for years and they ended up having better grades and kids and they had no Like they took cognitive ability tests and they had no difference. They ended up getting like higher SAT scores and everything Oh, yeah, but I was at the I parked in that parking lot. I woke up in the morning No ass didn't get any ass dance to the few chicks. But you know, it's not all about that. I have fun with your friends Wasn't the cards my my other friends went out later and I was like guys. I'm real tired Atlantic City. So yeah

It's tough to go out later. That's when the pros walking around. They can get you. I've gone out late in Atlantic City Uh, they can get you and then I woke up in morning got a bacon egg and cheese and a coffee Nice put on my clothes. How you feeling paint the whole picture? Okay. I was fine. Like I I did the vodka sodas I was drinking a few waters. I I haven't been rocked by hangover as of late right a guy I don't get one of the night and fucking I just went home. But when I go into the motel parking lot, there's this fucking indian who's just screaming I'm as a bro. What the fuck is wrong with you? He attached you dude. He was fucking. He's like, you know pay you know pay I like I have a fucking slip right here, bro. They told me $5. Who'd you pay?

Like the motel right there, but there's two warring motels. So I pay the wrong fucking And I go in like the other dude comes out and he's like, who did you pay? I paid fucking you guys It's like when six last night and they told me to come in so I went to a motel and all these indians are arguing I'm like kind of fucking hung over just looking at these dudes like can this please and he goes What time do you come? It's like six He goes, I was here at six like dude, you just weren't in your fucking thing Like there's a hut you should have been in you weren't there you dropped them all I paid this motel It was $5. You paid the wrong motel $5. You paid the wrong one. I'm like, I'm laughing at the dudes

They're fucking freaking out. I was like, like, what do you want me to do? You pay me five I was like, they can pay you five. I gave them five they owe you five bucks And finally the motel's like what times it comes like six. Okay, you can leave Wait, so I'm confused. You said there's two warring dueling hotel motels. Yeah, so you paid the wrong business I paid the wrong business and then you shared a parking lot, but once I talked I sat in the motel and talked to them For like five minutes. I didn't say anything. They just all yelled at each other and kept asking me what time I pay And I told them and finally they just let me go Really dude was trying to get an extra five bucks down. I was like, absolutely not. Yeah

I rose up on a parking guy one time I regret it. I fucking spat something dude How I told him I was on a fucking Cold cock of a long time ago. Why he was just being a motherfucker dude. You are such a spaz I never resort to violence. This is before I had a reign on my spaz. My spaz was A dark period of my life. Who'd you spaz on? So what happened? It was back during the uh I was with my ex-wife and we had we had like just done all like the wet the formal like wedding paperwork or the marriage paperwork Through the through like the city. Yeah, and I was like, dude. I was up to my eyeballs and stressed dude

It was just so much stuff. I was like working. I had to pay for the way I was just fucking freaking out And I'm like, I had been drinking I've I've been drinking coffee So when I was drinking coffee back then I wouldn't sleep I drink it Then I'd be up all night and it'd be tired again. I drink it again by day like five I'd just be out of my mind and we were like in this thing and I'm sitting there and I'm like I'm like really pinching pennies to like pay for this wedding. So I'm sitting there going Good work. We park. It was fun. We park and I go fuck. All right, so

I I like had been timing it so I've been like all right half an hour This is only going to be 12 bucks and like we're good. I got there dutifully. I showed up 28 minutes I'm like good. I got two minutes to spare. They were fucking around in there. So I waited for like five minutes There's someone in front of me. They're fucking around fucking probably like that'll be 27 dollars. I'm like, no jack No way I was like, I was here. Yeah, I was like, I was here when I was supposed to be you guys were fucking around I'm paying you $12 and he was like no, no, no, no, no, no. They started doing this shit back We're going back and forth and then I was like, dude, fuck that and he like grabbed my ex-wife's hand

He goes, please tell him to calm down. I went cruddy chopped his grip off I was like, don't fucking touch her dude. Yes. I was like you mother fuck and I started spazzing I'm like, here's 12 bucks. Get a buzz cut too. Give me the buzz. Give me my fucking keys And that's when he was like he came out. I was like, dude, I'll knock you to fuck out. Give me my fucking keys And he was like, tell him to stop and I was like, he's like, stop cursing at me. I was like, fuck you. They hate when you cuss Fuck you, dude. I spaz. I lost it. I lost it. Oh, dude. I would have to do dispatch on my fucking Did he give me the keys and yeah, I was out. He's I was gone Then he goes, as long as you stop cursing, I'll give you the keys and I got him. I was like, fuck you, dude

Give me my keys, fucking bitch Would you stop? Damn. I got a cost in driving. I was on spring garden on broad street and this dude just knocked I was sitting at a red light this old geezer with a With a mask on his nose hanging out. He knocked on my window. I roll my nose. What's up? You give me a ride three bucks I was like, dude. No, I got I have to be somebody's. I fuck you I got hit with a dude when I was driving at home. This guy pulled up and he was like, uh, he started filming Yeah, and he stopped in the red light in front of me got out of his car. He was like, Shane! Shane! The car went down and he was like, the fucking dogs!

And the light turned green and he had to run back to his car. The guy rolled. Dude, I had one of the most uncomfortable encounters ever the other day. I came in I had it I had to go do Christmas shopping You know, I had to go around and get some Christmas gifts for the for the family and uh, so I I ended up at the I had to go to this place and it was in like the it's called the fashion district of Philadelphia It's like fifth and market. It's this new thing. They're trying to pump up an area. That just sucks They're any nice Places to buy expensive bullshit. The fashion market is what they're trying to buy. They're trying to buy one expensive bullshit thing Yeah, you can go to the fashion market. Don't say that dude. No offense meaningful gift very meaningful

Dude, I walk in as soon as I'm walking in this guy. It was like a white kind of junkie looking guy It's like hobbles up and he's like, bro, bro. I'm like, dude, please get the fuck away from me He's like close talking me right in my face. I'm like, dude back the fuck up. He's like, I need help, bro And I was like, what I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I need to talk to you. I said, all right. What's up? We're walking in he goes literally goes Let's go down this hallway and talk and I was like, bro. I'm not going on a fucking hallway with you It's I just got punched in the face. His eye was all fucked up. He goes, bro. Let's go down. Let's go down here and talk So I'm not going anywhere with you, bro. What do you want? And I was like, what's up?

And he was like, some guy just punched me in the face and took all my money And I was like, why'd he take your money? He's like, because I wouldn't give it to him I was like, that sucks. I was like, I have nothing for you though. So I was like, good luck and godspeed and he just fucking uses I just wandered around and then I had to go to fuck dude. Have you been to pandora lately? No, bro Dude, it is the I'm not dating any 16 year old girls. It was just It was on it was on the family. It was on the family Secret Santa I'm on secret Santa duty, dude It's secret Santa duty. I'm on secret Santa duty. I haven't been there in forever. Yeah, I walk in being like I got the picture of the thing

I'm gonna get it. You know, we're done easy business. I walk in. What's median age there? Dude, it's it's all old ladies That's the thing. I thought it was like high school. Shit, too. It's it's like older ladies getting things for a 16 year old It's lays with fucking receipts like four foot long dead sea scroll receipts And there's two other people in there. I had to wait for 20 minutes in there just like dude fucking kill me So I'm sitting in there They're doing like in there. They're like these little charms and trinkets. So there's like these intense negotiations going on Over just fucking crap. So I'm sitting there and I'm being cool. I'm like, I'm not gonna spaz You know, I'm not obviously I've changed from the man who fucking rose up against me. I like that

It's not good. That's not good in you. Yeah, but I can turn on anyone, dude True and it is sick that it is it's sick that it's so demanding dude, but so I'm in there I'm like, I'm gonna be cool. I wait 20 minutes and I ask them like, hey, like do you guys have this thing? They're like, yeah, yeah, for sure. We got you. So I wait. I wait a wait. They're like, hey, fuck. Sorry. We don't have it It's fine. I just waited here. No big deal. So then I go to the other one, dude It was literally two people in the store two people working there two people in the store I waited there for 35 minutes another two other ladies with fucking receipts that were four feet long being like I would never bought this if you and it was just back and forth back

Then they fucking show it to me Dude, it was like the picture of it makes it look like it's this big It was literally dude this like the size of an ant the size of an ant and I literally I went What'd you take a picture of the microscope lady? You just go I was like, oh, seriously. This is the thing. Is this a gift for ants? Dude, it was fucking It was dude. That was a peek in the hell. I got hit with the weight I went to walmart bought us up lady in front of me had a dead sea scroll was arguing every single thing on the receipt They brought over all the bros

No one knew what the fuck was going on. The lady checking me out was in like a batman fitted For real. It's like a Mitchell and mass batman fitted Uh, I had some tough ones. I went to uh, some of our strongest warriors. You want to talk about a guy straw? I heard it. I I ran into a guy struggle on the way here the train here the guy behind me was on the phone with I think was his sponsor Just he was like a a Yeah, oh and lady just threw me out fucking bitch. Oh no, and he was like, I don't have any money I don't have a place to stay had on the train to Philly dude

Maybe he was funny though. He was seemed pretty honest about everything. He was like to kick me out for drinking again It's like dude. Was he on the phone? Yeah loud and the other guy was on speaker Nice, I just I hit pause on my drink music Did a crossword and listen to this guy's horrible life and he was like, uh He was like, what do they think I'm not gonna drink again? Like come on, dude. That's fucking impossible I've been drinking since I was like 14. What the fuck Brother you should have sponsored him in drinking

I genuinely wanted to give him money and be like, dude Ball out he was talking about sleeping at the Salvation Army in Philly and I was like Oh It's Christmas time in the city. Oh, man. Yeah, he uh, he he said he went to Because whoever was talking to was like are you going to meetings? He's like, I go to fucking meetings every day He's like, I was this the my sponsor in New Jersey was a motherfucker. He was like You don't seem like an alcoholic. His New Jersey sponsor was like, dude. He's sure He was like, I was just calling him a bitch. Yeah, because his sponsor was doing heroin and was like

A salesman it up Yeah, it was like doing heroin and selling shit What? Yeah, so the guy was like you're a pussy. You're not even an alcoholic So the jersey though the jersey sales his jersey sponsor was a salesman from yeah Salesman who I thought you meant like heroin. No. No. He was just like a he was like a functioning dude on heroin. What? It's pretty sick gig to do a bunch of heroin at work and then come to an AA meeting and be like Fucking bitch

I'm dominating Yeah Sleeping in the salvation army on christmas is I I'm down to man. That's the one world. I like wish I get into an AA world does seem kind of sick It seems like it could be you should go lie about being on heroin and call them not alcoholics. We like to drink Get back after it. I mean you should do it with a fake moustache It's it's really like if you want to go just get in the second way. What'd you say? I just said Shane should go in there in disguise and he gave me a mean scoff

Well, you said fake moustaches if my moustache isn't real. I'm saying like an obvious fake moustache. I hate you. You should do a skit about that Should do one of those skits It's like second. You just go to high school over again Because dude if you're like you don't really hang out with girls after like high school or college after that you just don't see girls NA does yeah That's a 13 step remember one of the guys we lived with was going to NA to get pussy. Yeah, it's a fucking psychotic move I don't remember that one of the guys we lived with in Philly. Oh, really? Yes. Yeah, that's apparently my head I if I had a guess I think I would live

Really wow Yeah, I mean that's apparently what everyone that's what everyone does there Then there's like halfway houses and you have like halfway house you have your girlfriend there They have like boys side girls side the assiest dudes on the planet when I lived on 18th and Dickinson There was one down the street. They they're pussies dude. They all smoke cigarettes outside all day They're all fucking complaining. Hey guys the dudes in the halfway houses piss me off viciously Yeah, yeah, I would go by there with my girlfriend like they would say something like dude like what the fuck is wrong with you Fucking chill, bro. Oh, they would say they would be like, yeah, what's up?

Dude nothing you guys are a fucking seven of you in a fucking two-story house chill the fuck out and get out of there So you battle the you know the fucking biggest pity party in the world Yeah, that's I mean that's part of being an addict. It's your third time and like you're still giving people grief in the fucking halfway house So do your time get a fucking job and go on you'd hit them with that. They just have a crap attitude Yeah, well, that's what that's what hits addicts a lot. Nothing's ever their fault. Shut up and that's the that's the big thing Yeah, true push the rock I had to check those houses out at that stage halfway Did you really I had to go in there and check for like firearms and they rail six

Yeah, I'll say especially the schizophrenic halfway houses Those boys all that all sweatsuits all just rip and sigs Dude just scream out of nowhere. They'd be like, where'd you put my fucking board games? They'd be like sir, please relax They all yeah, they had like bunk beds really have like little kid rooms They have like fillies posters and bunk beds some of those places are like 90 dollars a night per bed Yeah, it's like a big hustle like getting those like things where like junkies can stay and like through My burps my burps are kicking around. Sorry, no, no, it's not bad. They're terrible

Yeah, that's a big state hustle And then there's a bunch of programs too where you can like kind of latch on to them They will charge the department of justice 200 bucks every time we talk to these guys and there's like, yeah, whatever Did you know you could pay 3 000 per child if you move the fucking anchorage Alaska? Really? Yep for what? It's something 3 000 a year per child. You get paid to live in Alaska. You get paid to live in anchorage I've always heard that I wonder how true that is. I do literally just watch a video of a bunch of black people up in Alaska Really like pootie? I think his name is Three G's for a hood in anchorage, Alaska. It's fucking insane

Really black dudes fucking on ice doing donuts and srt's Literally don't even have trucks still have the srt's up there. That's awesome. It's fucking crazy I think the dude's name's pootie. It's the most crazy shit. I've ever watched in my life It's a bunch of cold ass black dudes up there like shit's not that bad everyone's ignorant It's the same same shit the one dude just said type shit after everything he said same type shit So my mom came up here like on some single mother type shit and my dad he had a place down anchorage type shit Every fucking where it was taken. What's he's like cuba gooding jr. From that one movie with the sled dogs Is that it out cold snow bunnies? No, it's not snow bunnies. It's not snow bunnies

It's um, which one was asking dogs walking did one didn't it all right cuba gooding jr. One's is nice He meets that indian babe that eskimo just fucking stunner dude. I never saw it. I don't think I saw it He's a doctor miami. He's at danis miami snow dogs snow dogs The fuck's alcohol out cold's like a skiing snowboarding movie. The only cuba good jr. Move our watches radio He doesn't fucked up flick you like that already broken the girls locker room got all fucked up Radio broken the girls locker room. We got fucking yelled at it. Yeah, it was fucking crazy The local guy under the what was he supposed to deal on radio? What do you mean? I didn't see the movie. He was a severely retarded. I love the squad and he'd ride a shopping cart around

I didn't see that. They're like this let him coach and he broke into the women's locker and the coach screamed at him See you know, you're just going Ah You're chicken shit That's what they said to him. Yeah, that radio started saying chicken shit chicken shit the fuck out He was like severely jammed as a human being cuba gooding jr. Just beasted the roll everyone's pumped on him Yeah, true. There was that. Yeah, that was a big era in film. I am sam. Yeah

People are going hard and I think it was just they saw one guy get an oscar and it was it was like Radio like they gave him fucked up teeth and everything. Oh man, dude. It's looking great Dude, imagine that got breaking into the girls high school girls locker room He's literally obsessed with the radio. It's gotta be that is an acting challenge though Ah, I think it's pretty as far as things you gotta pretend to be like I think being fucking retarded. It's pretty easy I don't know man. It'd be hard. That was pretty good. The one he just did Yeah, do it again. You literally just have to like look off into something and action You know, I mean if you if you're talking to someone and you're just like right of their ear staring at it the whole time

Like not making eye contact with our whole family kind of has autism. So it's kind of easy I mean, dude, it's fucking it's not. I don't think you're not making eye contact with me right now Look at all this shit's gay, dude Eye contact if you're talking to it If you and your boy are talking and you're dead fucking eye contact like you and Shane It's showing in a fucking thing. We never break eye contact. We don't break our fucking Rasputin, bro Come on. We only look at each other's eyes the whole podcast Everyone's like, what's the secret sauce? It's like

The entire time The entire we just pull stuff out of each other, dude Don't do that to me. I'm gonna put on safety's lap. A lot of horny bastards. Who's horny, huh? The comedians are horny bastards Artists dude, you gotta get some outlets guys. Are you ready to feel like a man eat some organs? Hardened soil supplements are made from grass-fed Grass-finished beef organs people ate organs for thousands of years And never suffered from obesity heart disease or infertility because they were eating organs nature's most treasured foods Personal endorsement. God. I love taking bull testicle pills

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Guys that's it for advertising Back to the show How's pumping? I aren't going honestly It was good last week than this week up in home. I wasn't pumping iron at all. You didn't pump once. No push-ups nothing No push-up. No, I wasn't pumping either. Yeah, p-fit membership It was lay down time back at mommy and daddy's rest. It was lay down make my dad watch black panther movies And then bet on college football bet on football

I had some good bets really lost last night big though, south alabama versus western katalki. I was fucking generally Why are you betting on that? Really? It was the only game that I was on dude Fun to bet on football dude Go to the bar bet on the game. You sit there. You watch here. You go. This is fun I have money on this and you tell everyone you go. I got south alabama and then south alabama is down 31 to three at half and everyone's looking at you like That's a big thing. Nice pig I I don't fucking get that part of the camaraderie if I'm out with my cousin, they're all talking like you got the over and I was like, yeah

It's fun. No clue what the over is. It's easy. They it's just a point. What's the spread? What is it? What's the spread? Are you asking me? What is this? That's what I hear That's just points in the game. They're saying so last night. I feel emasculated when they started last night Well, it's easy. All you need to know is points in the spread and then you got this one's an easy one You go dude, Vegas Vegas is begging you to take this. I'm taking the other team Dude, the spread's minus four. I'm taking you. What did you ever you guys are talking about that filled the donagy shit? No, what's that? Do you watch it? I know about it. I know I never watched it dude. It's fucking crazy

But it's you get upset when I say sports are fixed. Well, I do. Yeah, that sports was they did a whole document Dude from carnal hair the guy from dollar county who got caught fixing games. Yeah. Yeah, and then they're like, yeah, we got them No one else does it Yeah, and david stern acts the whole thing like Brother. Oh, also nfl just got um They're changing it to entertainment instead of sports Really, did you know why is that? spade was saying that perhaps the you can't yeah

Wait, what do you mean dead domes? Everyone's getting now. It's like wrestling. Wait, they're saying it's not What do you mean? There's not quite a sport. It's called it's then they're they're being categorized as entertainment instead of a sport They're trying to or they're gonna start fixing it for real Oh, I'm not fixing it. Like you're getting out of like cte. They could be fixing it, which I think they do but You know if they're fixing it, they better let the birds win What if they if they're fixing football, they better let our birds. It's just like a hierarchy like you laugh at the Fucking special boys are like pumped up at the undertaker and stuff and then you're watching football and in reality all that's fixed

What an attack. It's not an attack. I just I think it's true. I don't laugh at the special boys for like No, I'm just saying you look at it. Yeah, obviously It's a favorite joke about that or anything. You never know you never really travel the country making that joke. Yeah No, uh But this football is awesome dude. Shut the fuck up dude. It's fixed. Is it really your anti football? I'm not anti football. Dude. I like watching them. We went to the Monday night game It's fun to watch But there's a good chance like dunge wasn't the only dude fixing games. That's basketball

Can they fix it fix it or do you think they're just gonna like sway the game? Especially in basketball, well football is very easy. You can call holding on any play. Oh, yeah, shit You can just allow a touchdown, but in order to fix a game you need You need to pay one ref dude One ref and think about all the people who have money problems in the NFL Passing a few bucks. Yeah kickers. That's all day long, bro Kickers would not do that. I'm I'm just saying they're the most honorable. They might be the most honorable. They might be the most honorable in the great

hour You don't think any of those dudes have uh, you know, what if someone came up and was like, oh, like if 15 grand for you to bomb the night, would you do it? No What if you're hurting for code? Yo, Kojic. I don't think you could Yeah Oh, I could I could knock off some of the old hits Uh

No, but the that's what they're getting paid a lot too Sure players Sure So 15 grand to make miss like what an extra point to couple extra points field goal game important field goal Now you're looking at losing future salary and your legacy. I think it's different. What do they get blackmail on you? You're you're out of the fucking club night after a couple wise guys How many do you think good fellas are out there? Oh, yeah, bro. You think they're still good fellas. Absolutely Yeah, I guess good fellas don't really there's still a lot of those dudes are legit now, but you know, sorry

Seen on camera go I I heard it. I heard it first and I got Like that's what happened with the dummy guy. It's that a little chicken, man. It's delicious. It's crazy when I make it It's totally except crazy when I make him. I've been in the burp chamber quite a bit I'm fucking dying right now Eat something and then you start hitting some bud lights and you're like, oh boy, dude I got him on stage. I get this on stage and I look at the front row to see if they're getting crushed by burps Because the whole show I'm like, that's the 4d experience. Oh, here you go

There's people in the front. I'm like cold Like I can smell it while I'm talking. There's had to be people in the front like I brought it up on stage once and people do not like it. They weren't having it if I'm like, dude I'm sorry that bird fucking stunk people the whole crowd was like Ew It's funny What what do you imagine to like make that the only thing you're monitoring on the road is fucking chicken fingers and boneless wings, dude boneless wings, bud light

And then you go on stage and burp for an hour straight I did I did that one time accidentally I was um I was being promiscuous and I woke up in a woman's bed But I didn't know where it was. I didn't let my eyes open but fucking gas had to exit my ass This chick was right next to me. I was like I looked at her and I was like, oh What'd she say? I'm in a basement in written house square How'd she respond? I just looked at her like I'm bad

We all do it. Yeah girls don't care if you fart. That's a they they like care. They love it. They love it. Yeah, they love it They seriously love when you fart. I You've seen me. I've seen you work. I can fucking fart with the best girl who love it. They love it, dude They love when you rip that first I call my girlfriend's name while we're watching a movie I'll be like, hey, then she'll look over and I fart as loud as I can It's a special thing for them when you share that first fart when you start farting around them now they're going Daddy That's the big time daddy energy. Yeah the fart around girls

I'll write that down If you fart around girls, you can say like horrific things too. You say horrific things around them and they go You're so bad. Yeah, it's daddy. You can say the worst things ever. Sometimes I get upset Maybe sometimes in a fight they go you said that yes, I was fucking you know, I was kidding. You laugh when I say that Because you still said it. I was joking. You're always joking Yeah, I am Guess what dumbass I joke around a lot. I'm sorry. I called you a dumbass

My dad called my mom a dumbass Fucking last night. Really? Yeah, something about taking out the trash. He was like, well, you have to take the trash out He's like, I'm doing it right now. You dumbass He closed the garage door and I was like, oh Mom you're gonna and she's like, this is how he talks all the time I gotta go and then he comes in like dad What did you just call mom? He's like, Shane, you're a little fuck. You're like a little fucking girl No, I do as fuck with him

But I'm home. I'm gonna start to finish dude. I'm like, dad, what are you doing today? He's like, I gotta do a couple of names. I gotta sign the book. I'm like, you signed the book again Go to the fucking men's club again dad He's like, what Shane? Shut up I'm like, well, how are you getting there? And he's like, I'm driving. I go, well, how are you gonna get back then? Just force him into admitting Every day They can't do ubers

Old man will not do it. The elks in mckaynexburg is a fucking caravan of duis every day Every country club every every one of these vfw's elks moose lodges. It's 100 duis every day There's something emasculating. I think for older guys to hop in an uber Well, they've also like kind of had carte blanche their whole lives Yeah, those dudes were boozing at like 16 in cars. I like, oh, I'll get rid of it And like they all like they'd never they were like kind of on vacation their whole lives. Yeah That'll turn it. Yeah, imagine you like someone trying to tell you that who's like fucking your son like you shouldn't drag with dude. Fuck off

I'll drive right now. They hate it. Yeah, you can't drive dad. How many of you have had two? The fuck You're like your mother It's like dad. You've been there for three hours. I know you had more But now he's got a ring doorbell So he checks to see if my mom's home Dude, he's an old man. He's like a dog. They love rings. They love ring doorbells. It goes straight to their phone They get to watch it. He's like, look at this

It's just a guy what he's like, that's just a guy walking in or across the sidewalk They are old dogs. My dad's my dad's security cammed out now on the house. He doesn't have the ring, but he's security cammed out of the house A ring doorbell is so sick It's every night I get a notification over in Kensington on the house we're working on and I hear that thing ring I don't mean to pull it up. It doesn't stop. Yeah, mine's ridiculous. Spud has the ultimate spot He needed it. Yeah, spud. Shit was wild. I think everyone's I'm still fucking his driver. They stopped Oh, I think I think you guys would go like shit in there. They would have sex Yeah, they literally just have sex in his driveway spud. Show me some of the vids the nastiest one was there was this like black check with two kids

Crack kids. Uh, I don't remember blowjobs Sucked really. Yeah It might even maybe I know a spot we could go to babe. Come on. The nastiest one was there was this fucking mom who had her two kids And two kids waited. She went to the end of spades fucking thinking to splat it out like a bloody tampon and piss and then left Uh, yeah, that's atrocious behavior. Yeah, it's pretty tough stuff That's a going to someone's drop by mechanics spraying shit on the fucking stone wall And then walking away. It's a god damn

Dude the worst one kids. I gotta take a shit The worst I was walking his dog when his knee was all fucked up I was walking his dog and there was just crazy dude who'd always be on a bicycle It was like I was like 60 years old on a BMX bike It was just on candy and I walk out the one morning He just went and held a gun up and I was like, what the fuck And he was down the other end of the street. He was yelling at someone else and he saw me and went Oh, come on. You're all good, bro. And I was like, uh, I ran obviously not

Yeah, I ran this guy was fucked up. He's like, I'm about to shoot someone's mother He started going off. I don't think I'll do it. Do it, dude. And his life Become power and drop the fucking gun dude. I fucking bolted This guy was crazy. That's a big heroin area up there. Yeah A lot of you see dudes up there like chilling in a plastic chair and there'll be like two ladies Just like completely knotted out next to them and they're like Charles. Yeah, true. And there's the strip There's a Lancaster abs right there They're right off a Lancaster abs just sitting in the cut and then there's they like just hang out by a fucking day care

Is that the street? What's the road in Philly? That's just Lancab is I just drive that like every day dude. It's crazy. Oh, it's the worst to and from work every parking from the trolley It's the most inconsiderate street america Fucking trolley It's fucked up and people pass you all the time I bought one time. I needed a universal laptop charger because I lost mine I was like, I didn't know how to get another one. So I bought one from a store on Lancaster avenue And the fucking my outlet exploded. It's just fucking my

I was like, I don't know what the fuck that was about. Yeah, it's a fucking tough area Well, that seems to be enough for the let's do a switch over to the patreon bill. You've been such a sweet guest I love them bills around dude pro level dude Oh, yeah, you're a pro now Sit down your topics topics Penis is looking nice. I don't I don't like thick dong and the Zalinsky's Are you excited to donate more money to russia? No, I think it's fucking disgusting what the government does there. Why? Why he said russia what? Oh, I'm sorry. I meant you crane. You made your crane. We're like topically talking. Yeah

I heard you. I thought he's throwing you a little curveball. He was trying to Your ears gotta be on at all times dude. I know He said hey, man. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't support the other guys A guy with Joe mama are essentially the same guys What guy with Joe mama, dude? I was playing a big he was going along with it. Do you see how quickly he was like Playing a bit and it's our same mom. You're you're literally just hurting yourself by that kind of stuff Yeah, name one thing you're doing for one thing. I'm grateful for Truthfully everybody in this room. Dude. I love all you guys. I'm so grateful. We're all friends. It's pretty good

Means a lot to me. I agree That's why I do you've been pumping me up. I get down the dumps mat helps me out Sending encouraging texts made me feel good. I told him I was like, don't you gonna make me tear up? Yeah, I watched the fucking Buster Douglas documentary and tear it up again this week, dude. I watch it every fucking time I've watched it so many times, dude It's it's when I make someone else watch it is when I tear up. Yeah when I see someone else enjoying it I'm like, isn't that the best part? Did you see that part? I

Bluey gets me you ever watch bluey. No bluey makes me cry. What's blue? It's a show on disney. It's an australian children's show Eight minute episodes is perfect Dude, it literally will get you like joyous tears. Yeah, it'll get you it'll get you every almost every single episode What makes you cry? Huh? What makes you cry? Uh, I cry of joy Non-stop. Yeah, it's something nice. I will cry It'll get you dude. Fucking I watched from scratch the other night. Holy fuck, bro That's the say it's literally I don't know why maybe something from scratch No from scratch. It's a netflix

It's a netflix series of this fucking italian cook who just fucking dies of cancer And they fucking go through the whole thing like in the last episode It's like 40 just chilling in a bed and there's like end of life care and everyone's like, I love you and his wife's sitting excellent This is this This is the saddest thing you've ever heard about that though If you got to be like the terminal guy and you got to be like guys, let me know because you're dead I think that should hurt. Yeah. I don't know. I have a recurring fantasy about that. I don't have six months to live I'd be so cool

But the thing is like I'd be so I'd like I mean again, hopefully it doesn't isn't the case But I think I try to say you have some hope I try to get a lot more views. I try to get a lot of views for that. Yeah that case I think I could pump it up remember the dude who died in in a capulco. Yeah That's how that's how Your wife would be like you fucking loser. You can just go now. Just go It would I mean imagine you're in end of life care like maybe I don't know and like you see a bunch of people start coming Hey, like popping around the corner. It's like your other cousin. You never talked to like what's up

Did you visit the p-man at all when he was sickly poos? Yeah. Yeah all the time. Yeah, I would go over there I was that's a tough one, man. It was brutal. He was literally dying of liver cancer skinny his bones His underwear legs didn't fit. I look like spongebob and fucking underwear and just looked at me and put his arms up What the fuck is this? Yeah, I'm dad would send us over to his boy's house This is no existence like you just go there and he's sitting his underwear and watch old westerns with him And he was just a dying man He taught me how to drive trash trucks. Oh He was a dude

How quick was it his demise a little while like probably like a year. Yeah, he had a few months He was kicking around for a while. Damn. I'll bring him weed coconut oil. We chill He would just munch it dude. Just sit in his skivvies. We watch westerns. Yeah, hit me a gun smoke Give me with the fucking arms up. This is no existence and he goes dude. You fucking wait You'll you'll be 65 in no time. You won't even know what the fuck hit you. All right Like I was like 23 24. Yeah, I think you gotta hit the heroin at that point No, he was chill. He was like on record for one of the biggest drug busts in dollar counter. Yeah, dude lived a full life Really? He was a cowboy sick

He would he would play poker this one bar and he would get like he would like get so drunk He'd show his hand and be like five-card poker and he had like eight cards and they'd be like bro. Get the fuck out He mother fuck people in Harris, you know, he had overalls all the time overalls bucket hat He put a big wad of cash in his fucking pants And it went down this fleece liner and he fucking flipped down was like you fucking bitch You stole the money from me yelling at the like lady like giving them drinks like you fucking stole it They kicked the fuck out like he called my uncle my uncle went down helped them out and then the next day he's like, yeah Sorry about last night. I found my mother there

Yeah, he originally the term shit got all fucked up Yeah, he had the he had the coin debacle or that he thought he was like a big time He loved finding like old fucked ups. He knew the value of like if there was like a A granite curb from like an old part of the city. He was like that's 800 bucks And he had this weird hustle or like if you knock stuff down or did construction He would be like those tubs or clawfoot tubs are worth 400 But he could sell all this weird shit and he found one time he was doing his own job And he found a thing of coins and there it was like he finally hit the jackpot, dude

It was like I think they're worth like hundreds of thousands They're 100,000 dollars weird gold coins and some they were like historical and this one guy was like I'll hold these something came up a lawyer a lawyer got real fucked up because he found it and then he thought people were after him Yeah, and the lawyer held him and a lawyer took the gold coins off him So when he was dying he tried to talk my deal like try to give my dad to give him a ride so we could go shoot this guy I'm not dying. I'm not gonna get a rest of her shooting helping you shoot a guy But he on his die on his deathbed. He was like just let me just shoot this one guy before I die He was dude. He was in an old western, dude. This guy ruled. Wow. Yeah, dude. He was uh, dude

He would talk about his wives. There's a fucking new so far me It was like the bitch Oh, I can't like you can talk about yeah, I want to talk about you got called never mind He got busted deep. Oh, so funny. He's so far. He was so funny about everything Like yeah, that's why I got busted that guy fucking found me in a bathtub with his wife He was a fucking not we were like going to go out the lunch one time at this place and he was like I don't want to go there and I was like why and he was like a fucking guy called me his wife in a bathtub Yeah, that was cut number two

He was an old timey I think his I think his uh elder family was like real mob guys He blew my mind because like he he's the first guy like fucking kind of put me on to like the fact that we're gonna die I was like 19 going home every day like But he uh, what the fuck did he do? I would I would work with him every fucking day and it was just Some of the funniest shit ever. He would just clean bricks all day long and then resell spades wall at his house Yeah, I was I think he'd find bricks and yeah, he'd resell bricks. I got a dude fucking ruled

Yeah, you go don't they don't fuck when we had uh, we got we had to leave We were building a barn there was asbestos and we had to leave and he was like your uncle scared of bullshit I eat this stuff for fucking breakfast, dude And I was like I was literally like 10 years old just being like, yeah, maybe asbestos isn't real I don't fucking know. He was explaining to me how he worked with dudes from the 1800s So you got to understand I was taught by guys from the 1800s That is true. Yeah, literally chill with dudes from the 1800s Yeah, it's pretty sick. Then when he was a little one of his earliest memories when he was little

Put him on an airplane to california with a thing that says hi. My name is franky and a bucket full of quarter frankly His family put him on an airplane though. You're gonna go visit your other side of your family It was a sign that just said franklin around his neck and had a fucking charm of quarters Nice legitimately fucked them up and he made it. He was pissed. He was still pissed about those like they should never put me on that plane I Just That's it like kind of in the mafia What the fuck's going on, dude?

Oh, oh, man. What are you the way? Let's go to the page He is the he was the he was truly the man. Wow. Take a cowboy, dude. I never heard of him Cowboys it was dying day. He never would do to schedule was so funny He was the only construction guy he like would show up at noon and kind of like fuck around for you. He's the best, dude All right, let's switch over to the patrion. Thank you