Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 426 - Blessed

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

Go watch Gilly and Keeves "The Special" @ gillyandkeeves.tv Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com YO. Blessed. Just the D.A.W.G.Z. for the victory lap. How great is our god???? Please enjoy.  Visit http://athleticgreens.com/drenched for a Free 1-year supply of Vitamin D   Support the show and get 20% off with the code DRENCHED at Lucy.co   Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook App and using the code DRENCHED.   If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/LA/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA(select parishes)/MI/NH/NJ/ NY/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. New customer offer void in NH/OR/ONT-CA. $200 in Free bets: New customers only. Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min $5 wager. $200 issued as eight (8) $25 free bets. Ends 9/19/22 @ 8pm. Early Win: 1 Early Win Token issued per eligible game. Opt in req. Token expires at start of eligible game. Min moneyline bet $1. Wagering limits apply. Wagers placed on both sides of moneyline will void bet. Ends 1/8/23 @ 8pm ET. See terms at sportsbook dot draftkings dot com slash football terms.

I just have dirty water You just have a glass of disgusting water. It's a lemon water. That's just my some coffee. I put it in there I like to drink dirty water. I know I do that I'll take my coffee mug from the morning and just hit it. It's like get a little something I want the ice for my water Yeah, that's good. And you get the coffee taste you get to continue the coffee kick kind of and it was also I was chewing tobacco and I don't like to dip in the for some reason if the spitter has anything in it I don't like it. Anyway, that's my sense. Welcome to the podcast guys. This is basically is basically a fucking victory lap episode Yeah, dude, what a what a dramatic weekend. What a victory. It's crazy. Oh, dude. I mean again, it's just you know

Sitting there. What was it Thursday night? Yeah, get the call Thursday night, dude. No idea Yeah, I'm rocking my youngest and all of a sudden I go it's time. I said Matt Holy get on a plane get on the plane as fast as you can so I couldn't sleep obviously I couldn't sleep Yeah, dude, you knew your ex the Joe Rogan experience dude. Oh, here was the drums. Yeah I was like fuck dude. I was like excited and I went it was like 30 seconds of excitement and then like four hours of like You're gonna fuck this up. You fucking idiot. I spent the night before it. I Forgot Ari was there Ari came to Tim. Yeah, I literally spent the night before I did Rogan the first time like in a pool like floating just like

This is weird Like I was like this just feels weird, dude, you know, you know, I mean and I was such a nice guy. He's like, yeah Yeah I was like, dude, I feel like I'm gonna fuck like this is just weird, dude I don't like it Yeah, I could there's definitely a feeling that's unlikable of the whole thing it's just like this is yeah I had the same thing when I got SNL. Yeah, I was like, I don't this is weird. It's just too much This is

Things are gonna go bad I was just sitting there and I was like finally laid down it I think like midnight or finally like was like, alright, I'm gonna go to sleep at midnight How do you have a 230 and it was just like literally almost still was like playing alarm clock games or I was like Yeah, five more and in my head. I'm like duty. Come on. I do it all the time It was crazy. It's like get up. It could be the most important thing in the world. I'm like, I can definitely get 10 more minutes Sleep right through it. Oh I knew it was gonna go bad. I knew it was somebody else's fault

But yeah, that was my main time my main fear was being so tired that I just got complete Just fucking the adrenaline was going dude when you sprinted down the hallway towards me true I was like, oh, oh, it's all oh, it's all yeah, true We're getting the nap when I got there I had enough time to get a one-hour nap That was that was a clincher once I got that nap. I was like, I'm good. Oh that request was so scary dude Texan Rogues die. I was nervous for you. I was I was like, oh fuck. Please don't think I'm a little fucking I know in great the big cake and uh, can I bring a friend? Yeah, is it okay?

True. I mean we ran in on with the creek and it was like yes, obviously I was Sorry, I shouldn't have asked like that. No, but it is a thing It is kind of a nerve-wracking thing to be like, hey, can you ask somebody for anything? Yeah, it's tough But true that got it worked out. It did dude. That was a blast. That was a lot of fun What a fucking weekend. Yeah, every show was great. That's where I started feeling like weirded out She walked out. Every single show was great. Yeah, that was strange Because that that room and helium you walk out. It's just or a cap city or whatever

I didn't see the stage at all. So I was just in the green room and I walked out and there's just like a five-foot Semi-circle stage and I was like, yeah. Yeah And then you kill no matter what you say, they're like Dude, I knew I was the best this whole time. I forget about the last six weekends on the road This one is true. Yeah. No, that was that was awesome Yes, it's rare to have a weekend where every show every single person does good. Yeah, your con man was killing Yeah, your con man. Everyone dude. Yeah, thanks for inviting me to your friend's house Grumpy o'con man

He had a grumpy boy He'd get off so he'd kill he'd get off stage and be like, how were they? I was like, dude. I was like, that was nice He was like, they're good. Yeah, he's amazing. Maybe he's turning over a super stoic leaf. Yeah, he's pretty stuff I'm gonna be Connor Aurelius, dude Christopher Aurelius Yeah, might have to get maybe we'll get the bro up on the page, dude. Oh, dude. Me and O'Connor. So we went to the bar Fuck dude, no this this weekend. We're sitting at the bar me and O'Connor this girl comes in and sits behind him Oh, yeah, and he's got his back to her. So he's facing me. I can kind of see her. She's like

Yeah, hammered gremlin, dude. She starts she starts punching Chris and he thinks like oh, she's like Yeah, we're having fun with the bar. He's like knocking off And he like went back to be like come on. Yeah, above the above the way cut it out We're goofing and she was like get your fucking hands off me you piece of shit And I was like, dude, we got to move Yeah, we got to get the fuck out of here and then she kept doing it She started like actually like pushing them off like I could see him like push moving and I was like, hey, could you please? Like stop hitting my friend. Yeah, she goes

You're fat Dude, she goes, you know, she goes you're fat and then she goes Pulled her tube top down put out her tits sort of tube top. Yeah, she went Jesus Christ pulled out big fat boobs and Ladies you still work and she's not been so mean to me I wouldn't have been mean back, but she was like you're fat pull the tits I was like your tits are fucking disgusting dude. Those are disgusting you gross idiots And she was like Yeah, I am ugly and I was immediately I couldn't know it. No, you're not. I'm sorry

She was like so sad, but then she was like, yeah, I'm ugly. I was like, no, you're not and she was like, but you're fat So who care and I was like, well, okay Fuck you I mean talk about a girl misfunction is pushing boys pulling your tits out. It was I'm ugly. I'm ugly Also getting it like she couldn't even see me. Yeah, me with the year I was like, damn. She's hit me with like you're fat from like me sitting. She could just see like And then we keep going we go back to talking she's just At the bar she takes her fucking

Beer just turns it upside down puts it back sits there a bartender comes over one of the fucking dudes came over and kissed her He like came over to be like, hey, how are you doing? She's like and he kissed he kissed on the lips It was a pack on the lips. Whoa. Okay. All right. Do we feel that bartender was probably on coke? Definitely She pours the beer out He's just she's just sitting there now a guy comes over and is like, did you spill this and she's like, no I was like, you gotta get her the fuck out of here. Yeah, dude So then they finally got her out She goes to the bathroom while she's walking back that bartender that I saw kiss her

He's like, I saw all you guys looking at her when she was walking around. I was like, did you fucking kissed her? He was like, what the fuck? No, I didn't he likes fast. See he did great night. That's pretty That was the end of it. No, I let him off the hook a little I was like, I know I know she kissed first I saw I was being generous dude. He kissed a clearly blacked out woman. Oh, that's a salt brother Yeah, she was life at the party though. Soon as she left like what was the point? I mean That should be a police escort for a girl that drunk to you at home It's like she was outside when we left really leaving. She was outside. It was like, geez dude What somebody should help not me though. Someone will help her

I'm a good Samaritan. Not a fat Samaritan. Do you call me fat? Getting hit with just your fat Come on lady. It's fucked up You're punching my friend. Yeah, please stop. I mean the obvious question is what if that what happens if that's a dude? I mean if that's a dude, well if he called me fat, I would just be like, you're gay Yeah, true. I wouldn't look I wouldn't fight a guy like that I'm a saying the guy would have been removed from the bar in four seconds. Oh, oh, you're saying if a guy sat down I started doing that to women. Oh my god

On the bar in the face bothering people everyone who whooped his ass tries to kiss the bartender probably still would have kissed He's high on coke and he's a fucking drug addict bartender He's high on coke and that's too much hair gel is a drug addict bartender Fucking loser It is fun to pick a profession and just attack it. It's very fun. It's very very fun It's like, no, it's like, okay. What do you see if you're not a drug addict bartender? You're a man bun pussy. So which one are you? Oh Man bun pussy with a cool beard or a random animal drug addict bartender dude. There's nothing in between

Are you a radical feminist fucking communist bartender? He's also kind of an alcoholic definitely absolutely raging alcoholic Yeah, man, it's funny. There's no other possible way in that in that industry there is you get you can age out to be Women there's women at the Elks in mechanics, but it's just ladies old ladies. Yeah, that's a good place to be You're saying just like somebody's aunt. Oh old aunt bartender Like a crew neck fucking hoodie. The rules are totally different Yeah rules are totally different to women Steelers sweatshirt. You're taught you can be there's there. You're just a tough bitch at that point Yeah, that's just tough bitch

There's tough bitches, then there's just two types of dudes. That's it bartender It's absolutely right unless you want to get on some coyote ugly stuff, but that doesn't that's you're just having fun at that point That's girls pretending to be bartenders. Yeah Like a tall blonde fucking women, but it's like oh come on This is your summer off from graphic design school go back get out from behind the bar. Yeah knock it off grow up You're stealing a job from a tough bitch, dude Tough bitches, but they're also very nice like hey, sweetie. How like honey, what do you want? They're very nice Yeah, true tough bitches are very nice. They're the best

Like you want some scratch-offs. We got a popcorn machine among the best That's what happens when you've like when you get this you've cut hair so much that your hands act up hit the bar bartender It's tough fish it's tough bitch industry, dude Hair cut it's bartending Mail mail ladies are kind of like the elite tough bitches. Yeah mail ladies are more I would say on the upper cast of tough bitches thick too. I've never seen one. That's not thick bro. Don't get me started Why are they so thick dude, but I don't have any intro you like the mail ladies. You're like the dogs I've been following

I've been following the influx of Philadelphia I've been tracking this for the last about seven eight years Philadelphia is having influx of hot black mail ladies Yes, and I've always I've been tapping. I have I've I'm with you. I've seen it. It's crazy. I've fallen only in Philly though I've only seen it in Philly. I don't know what it is black mail ladies. Yeah, man. Just hold it down. Just fucking I Hear that should be a genre thick black mail ladies. They'll be coming coming into your house Don't worry about the dog worry about me Fighting their ankles yeah, oh, that's good stuff. That is good stuff get on all fours as soon as they come in the door Now I would get out the house and have to get me back in my house. Yeah, get in there get in there

I'm playing with you and I'm Time for this foolishness And well, I was on they set me down and we do like the Lion King thing where I fall and she's the fucking But I was thinking about that fucking Simba's such a sub dude He only gets hard when Nala's on top of it. Oh both times in one and two She's always on top of him, dude. He's always like oh fuck. He can only come when he's being dominated by the lioness But I've that's just something I know

Just something I've noticed lately. I Like that though dominant a king. That's also a sub. He's a total sub, dude We fast obviously it was fucking Alpha's fuck. He's a pretty freaky sub. Yeah, that's usually how it works a little son A little bitch ass son. Yeah But yeah, so I know I noticed that I said damn. This is a pretty freaky guy every time she gets on top or is gay Scar is gay that went back to that. There was a nice. There was a trope for a while that bad guys were gay Everything like the bad guy was always slightly effeminate, you know, dude, it's totally true. Yeah, it's scar is like Yeah, oh, oh you will see me brother. Oh, that doesn't need Ray point of lines

the female lines Isn't he like maybe it was a deleted scene. Do you think that a deleted scene? I think there's a deleted scene where it was like you owe me an error. What? Yeah Go to Google it. Yeah, fine that dude. That's fucking not Because I know he does a lot on Instagram when Lion King 2 they might have just been the fucking fan fiction It was pretty sick, but it was hot for sure

Right, wait, what? There was a part of that where he was like, oh wait, this might be a oh, no, it seems like a sketch of The deleted scene from the Lion King show scar trying to get Nala to be his queen It's sort of dark, but I think it should have been left in the movie. That's what this red it was Oh, he was pretty near that makes more sense It looks just like a storyboard I've seen the actual animation part of it So he was grooming Nala and he needed to get rid of Simba Because he wanted to take over then Nala would be his he probably just very lion

It's very lion-like. Yeah, I think that's what they do. I think they like kill cubs. Maybe there's not true I mean, it might not might not have been in room for two subs in the kingdom. He might have like on the sub Get out of here I'm also I'm a pedophile as well. I'm also a pedophile I'm a gay pedophile. I'm a gay pedophile lion. No, I hate British I'm British. I've had enough of your father's heteronormative bullshits. My brother brother black guy who played Darth Vader me gay British guy I

Spacey scar was voiced by Kevin Spacey. I wish white a bit. No, who's the guy? No, no, no, it was Ricky Gervais. It was Ricky Gervais Who who voices scar? Yeah, Jeremy irons who's using kingdom of heaven. What? Yeah, who do you play in KOH? Uh, he was one of Okay, nice Damn, right wasn't he in kingdom of heaven Another pet a movie go ahead. Ah, he's he was like the night that was like He was with he was against the God wills it guys. Oh, okay. Okay

He's a man, dude. He's got a wills it guys rolled to though. Also again little kind of gay Gee days, you know, dude. Gee in kingdom of heaven. Yeah. Yeah boy Yeah, true true beast, but he's a little feminine anytime when anyone's under that like that era of like European royalty If as soon as you get mad you look gay cuz you're like, yeah Diculous, you know one could throw anything. I've had enough of embarrassing me He's taking gloves off. He like throws a chalice or something. He's like in in France We wouldn't have such people at our tables. Yeah, it gets over. It's like Oh

Massacres a caravan It's funny to just you're just to have your like all your mannerism's atrophy into being so gay Yeah, Jeremy. I'm trying to get that rich. I'm just like Jeremy I'm so bored He's been some good movies really Dude, I can't think of what was one bad guy. I feel like the only bad guys who aren't gay are Russians They might have stopped. Yeah, those dudes are not gay at all Russian bad guys not gay They tried to do it in the departed. There were people out there. There's theories that

What's his name's gay whitey Bolger? No Matt Damon in the movie. Yeah, there's people that want him to be gay like bad guys are gay He's just gay stuff in the movie a little does he really I mean not to me he like couldn't get hard once Big whoop nothing he calls everyone else gay Yeah, I was reading about gay dreams yesterday turns out nothing nothing there's literally nothing gay about it It's about it is about it integrating psychological Aspects of male and female. Thank you for doing that research. I was never gonna look into that. Yeah

I was gonna take those to the grave Have a gay dreams fine. It's nothing to prepare. It's to prepare your mind to fight actual gayness in real life Exactly, you know, I mean you're really summoning all your bros dude I had a dream I did gay stuff on a podcast not long ago and then Talking about this dude, it's I was just I don't I was I was riding motorcycles and we came off and I again I don't exactly remember who it was. Well, that was like sick. That's all I got tricked into it, dude Fucking ride motorcycles. It was like a you know, like the old Tony Hawk shows where it's like flames and half-pipes It's like shit like that. Yeah, and I like put my bike down

And it was just like a gay mashup of every podcaster I know specifically a lot of the dudes in Philadelphia just all doing gay stuff The only thing I barely remembers like maybe I made out with Ryan Shander I don't know but I kind of remember like I don't know what I did. I don't know So then it was like I don't again, I was very hazy as to what happened, but it was just nothing but Podcasters being very gay on camera and then I sat there and just kept watching the views of it being like 48k It's not too bad. I mean like well fuck and then I woke up Okay, dude, I woke up like it was you know, you have a dream where you get to reassure yourself

That was just dreams. I had a good two minutes of being like did we do that? I was a dream No, it's not a dream. I'm like no and I had to get enough fine Then I finally woke up. I was like that's just a dream. That's not real. I'm just incorporating masculine elements into my psyche, dude Fuck that Yeah, it was very funny So yeah, that was a it was a tough one. No, I mean that was a very that is the worst feeling you in a dream You kill someone or something very serious and you wake up like yeah shit Yeah, did I do that even more worse than killing a man?

Making out with Ryan Schaehner on a motorcycle on camera. We could have been ramping dirt bikes Why the fuck you know what I mean? We could I could have the best dream ever You know would be nice would be guard dog and Schaehner two mustaches. Oh Two abs bumping into each other Big promise. I mean we're talking in the dream realm. They were talking about you guys Just this is more of a meeting of dreams in the dream realm only has to deal through symbols So obviously one of you guys don't have to suck the other one, but it's gonna be this is an inception for your psychic development Yeah, right what?

Me like inception you guys could be fucking like in it on the ceilings We bounce around Gardini almost got destroyed on the highway almost all right behind him. What happened. I'm still shaking jeep dude It was a jeep thing thing almost got apparently a jeep thing swerving into someone else's lane almost killing them jeep thing Yeah, dude, there was off-roading me. Yeah, dude. Gardini. He I didn't know it's him Behind him jeep thing reminded me of our fucking Jamaican talk Big off the big autistic gay man autistic Jewish gay

Yeah, that was such a nice weekend that was really made me happy y'all so far. I'm still happy. Yeah, that was a blast That was an absolute blast the whole thing was fun. The stand-up was very fun I've been thinking about it. I should be happy for I should keep being happy. Yeah, that's a good move. It's easy to be happy Yeah, I was listening to Led Zeppelin What's up? I'm happy. What's wrong? Oh, well, it's not albums cuz I'm it's on Spotify. So I just floating through I mean rock and roll is I Was just thinking of getting the lead out. It's so good dude I was I've been saving it because I've been going back through old stuff and a lot of it. I've been like

It's not take it's not hitting the same spot. It wasn't balls. It's not hitting the same spot Oh, dude, I went back to 311 music I was like this use I just skateboard down my basement to that still was pretty nasty 311 It's a whole top 311 music the album before blue was nasty Yeah, I did I went through the old sublime albums and I was like 40 ounce of freedom does still fucking rock But again, I'm like, but dude, I've been I was thinking about getting the lead out And I was like, dude, what a fucking no, it's it's still what if the whole lot of love guitar solo doesn't send me Damn, dude

Yeah It's nice. I've been I've been deep into just like weird techno and stuff lately. It's fun, too. Yeah, I was I Hold on. I'll find it. I got a good one for you. They're actually ended up not being that good, but it was And then I was afraid Sometimes your Spotify is public. Yeah, like it should like oh, well people can see what you're listening to if they're like I don't know. Oh, there's to be like that. I'm not sure if it still is but I was afraid I found an album called fired up 2003 Dude, this is crazy. Yeah, I've been doing the crying on the dance floor. That's my playlist

Fired up 2003 was an album you could buy that's crazy. And I start I was listening to it on the plane for far too long I listened to it on the plane for like an hour It's for a while. It's like damn. It's actually really good. It was awesome. And then I got my head I was like if one person found out I was listening to fire up 2003 I'm just sitting there listen to fired up 2003 just bobbing my head plane Yeah, that's all fucking rules. Yeah, the weekend was very nice dude Standup was better. Standup was better or stand up was perfect. Yeah, Rogues perfect couldn't have gone better

Yeah, and then I did Danny Brown's podcast the next day great. Yeah, what else? Yeah La Mer was there. La Mer is what a light. He is in all the darkness. So merely is an actual light It's the best somebody who never gets down. Yeah, it's always me and O'Connor You know Connor walking. I was like, look dude, we either got to stop drinking or stop being ashamed of it Yeah, because we can't keep doing this. Yeah, we literally get hammered all the time and we're like It's that's too much sadness and guilt It's too much. It's an over the counter have it like unbelievable and then you go to a show and you're like, I'm the top of the world now absolute king

Have a couple drinks. Jeez. You need a lamesey, dude. La Mer. I've never heard. I don't think he complains never No, it's literally Sam dude. He's holding down a spotlight for me at Shake Shack He got text me. He's like, oh, he's like, you want to meet me at Shake Shack? I'm like, yeah, he's like, oh, actually I'm already here and I'm like, all right I'll be there. There's that side. You do have to deal with the ultimate just constant dumb shit But it's endearing dude, but then he's like, but I'm holding the line was out all the lines there were crazy That's an O'Connor move. But I'm gonna be like, I'm actually already here And then I'd be like what the fuck if La Mer did I'd be like nice

he's an idiot No offense. I didn't mean to say you know, I held down the lot the spotlight that I decided actually was gonna get a rotisserie chicken Instead of a Shake Shack. That's nice. Yeah, I was like, do I want a belly? That's all I had to ask myself I started going do I really want a belly ache this afternoon? I went Nah, I'll skip the belly. I can only actually still got like a weird I need a lot of rotisserie chicken. I opted for a whole rotisserie chicken and a tub of guacamole And just was fucking pulling guacamole out with chicken. It was pretty of course. That was my lunch. It's a good lunch I got those tacos again

Really from that place velvet. Yeah, that fucking tiki whatever Masala Is that how you say chicken Masala? Was that cheeky cheeky Masala True this is how it happens. I know you do become Phil Phil just guesses words. You see two K's in a row and the word is pass out Whatever that Indian shit Cheeky cheeky Masala cheeky time Ricky cheeky tatties

Ricky cheeky talkies. This is so good. I called I called Magenta Magneto the other day. So I was like that fucking Magneto shit Yeah, Brittany's been killing me on these fucking colors, bro She hit me with a we have this elder bearer elderberry orange juice dude I was like it's purple juice and my and Brittany were like that's red juice and I was like The fuck out of here, bro. Yeah, the fuck out. I should have literally kicked the man out of the house I could should honestly pack their bags. I'm like the whole family's gone. Fuck out. Everyone's gone all of you And they're like me you kidding around then I put like the youngest seven month old outside the cold

Be like does that look like I'm fucking around. This is not a joke. Does that look like I'm fucking around get out Everyone get out now. I'm so angry at you guys Now the house has been the house has been an air of peace. It's air of peace. It is absolutely This is you know packs from you said it before you said is the packs from our this is it. This is yeah It's nice Soon it'll be war time It has to be it's how it goes. What do you think the war's gonna be? I think it'll be you and I be heading guard dog

I think our dog guard dogs flying too close to the sun as it is. Yeah, you've been a real big shot I hear what I hear about the things you say at the stand when I'm not around Like what he's just like I'm the best Really, I'm the top. He calls himself the top young gun young guy. Yeah What you always lying on me You think he's a liar Dude Dude, I told you what I want to do now I have another camera

I want to put one camera on a prod camera the whole time and I'm gonna hire a boss for Gardini Yeah, I'm gonna hire someone to promote know it right away thinking about it But no has been a fucking quiet good worker. He's been great. He's never asked for a raise. No, he's been fantastic He's never asked for anything. He's in school. He doesn't need to study first I'm gonna get him a drop out once he gets a degree then and we can start you know, he has a semester. Yeah Are you sure it's just one semester? I think he has a little bit He's on that long plan. Yeah, I know he's got big dreams now I think no one's to go working like a forest or something. Yeah, he wants to work in a farm

Yeah, right doesn't want to be a farmer with like horses. He does love horses eventually But I think he wants to be like a park ranger too. Yeah, he wants to go disappear into the woods Everybody says that he might be the only dude. I know who truly seems like he could disappear into the world I mean, obviously, you know, he's got fucking he does that big sass quatch energy. Mm-hmm Does got that it'll he's a bit of a squash. I mean, let's put it this way. There's been part of him that was here first He's part native true. He's probably trying to get back to the woods. Mm-hmm. He was in the YouTube comments first I So I might just be trying to get back to the woods

it's like the old tale of the The holy man who turned a mouse into a lady Try to get the mouse to marry the lady mouse to marry the son. She's like, that's not good enough for me Yeah, goes to the mountains. Oh, they're too big. I don't want the mountains goes to the clouds. That's kind of I don't want They're so gloomy eventually. She's like, what do you want? She goes? I just want to marry a mouse, bro He turns her back from a lady into a mouse. It says how could I deny her true nature? What a good exactly right? I read that this morning. I said what a good story We have a bunch of mice in this apartment. Do you really? Yeah, I might have turned them into beautiful ladies

I will unfortunately. I had to hire a exterminator. What they do They just blocked up all the holes in the vents and then put poison everywhere. Oh, nice. Yeah poor guys are getting poisoned I'm all right with them. Yeah, it's my woman that hates them. Are they pooping everywhere? Yeah, they're gonna get us pretty ill get a kitty Those things can take care of themselves, dude. Yeah, I do like cats a lot. Yeah, what the hell is stopping you? Get a fucking cat. You could they could just kill all the mice Yeah, you don't think I'd love that. I but I wanted I want to wait until I get some outdoors I got you Cramping up a cat it then you're gonna end up with a gay city cat a bad guy scar

Yeah, you're gonna end up with a scar. I want to save up so I can get a Maine Coon Yeah, and let him walk. Yeah, get him outside fighting some dogs. Yes, I'd like them to fight dogs Table goes to war Coyotes in our backyard. He's holding his ground. He is getting old though. He's gonna get ripped apart by coyotes I mean in maybe this summer warriors death man. Yeah, I know I actually wanted for him Let him have it. He's last time I saw him. He was in tough shape. Yeah tibs ass problems He's had ass problems this whole life Since he was a kid really every time he shits, there's still one turd and he runs and then he runs and it falls off

Yeah, I Jackson he's paper towels and every now and again, I gotta like pinch you I'll get a paper towel. It's a turd with a paper towel like things stuck to it I have to grab the paper like a white white. Yeah, I'm gonna pull it out of his ass and he's fucking I'm like, dude, stop. Is it ever is there ever more than you think like a magician? No, it's I mean, I've been mildly surprised with nothing crazy. I wish but it sometimes do you get the old blade of grass? Blade of grass is like a single blade of grass coming out of his asshole and I have to grab it and go you fucking idiot He steps in his own shit. I there's nothing that makes me more angry than him stepping in his own shit And I'm just like dude. Yeah, what the fuck man? What's wrong? Jackson is an idiot. Oh my god. He is

He's a sweetheart, but dude. He did to me the other day. It seems smart. She is. Yeah, totally smart But Jackson obviously runs the house does it? Yeah, we have two beds and he'll just get out of his bed and bitch her Give me your bed and lay down bring you get so mad. I'm like, what do you matter? These are dogs. Yeah, he's not being an asshole. He doesn't know. He's just going like, yeah, I want to lay there Yeah, he bitches are constantly Guys Lucy breakers pouches has the strongest and longest lasting flavor not like those other gas station brands Lucy break Lucy breakers tiny capsules break open and unleash a burst of flavors in your mouth

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Just take one in for a little bit Foster that's the word I was thinking of skew foster cat. Yeah, but then you get attached. I'm never gonna let that cat go That would I couldn't give it up everyone like foster animals It's like dude their mind as soon as they come in my sister's fostering puppies for a while It's like how are we getting rid of these guys? I'd go over to her house. They'd be like six puppies run around. What was wonderful Yeah, I mean dude when you there's people who do it with fostering kids and then like you like foster and babies And then it's like someone's comes out of nowhere and they're like, yo, let's go. Yeah, so I think they have to like happen Yeah, my sister. Yeah, man. It's like I had to say goodbye to those kids

It was fucking Brutal's gut wrenching dude my whole family. We had like a one last dinner with the kids Then put him in a car and I had to be like goodbye Bye Yeah, I'll get you man. Yeah Yeah, I knew someone who was Fostering like an infant and then like grew like super attached to it for over like seven months And then it was they just came one day and like it has to go. Yeah, of course now and you're like, uh, uh Yeah, I think I think maybe the kid happens that fast too. Yeah

I think it was aware enough to be like mommy and reaching back and yeah, they're like, nah I remember he was in a car seat and I had to like he was so young. I was like shaking his hand. He was like It's dude, it's devastating. Yeah devastating, but they're back. I know now. It's a fish true locked in Now they're locked in. Yeah people. I never thought about that aspect of fostering where it's like Fuck man. That's why most foster parents had nasty fucks. It just kind of has people in a basement That's what I'm saying. Like they're just trying not to fucking right to try to get their hearts broken Like like get them in and beat them and ignore them. There's not to break the demo I'm not gonna have my heart broken again. I'm not gonna share my spaghetti with this kid. I don't want to fucking fall in love with them

You're gonna there beat them. Yeah, that's the most like the heinous shit in the world Yeah, I like taking in foster kids and beating them. Yeah being like religious zealots that take foster kids in beat them And sometimes the dad comes home and yeah, it's a little herni And now we've got a problem. Yeah, I've got a real problem Yeah, yeah, that is a fucked up thing about having kids you just go like Oh, yeah, dude. You just people just molest them. That's it's just like I think about that constantly I just go wildest shit honor. I do it all the dude. I'm sitting there all the time and I'm like, okay I'm sitting here with my kid. I'm like, dude's just like turn around and molest their fucking kids and I'm like

Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, that's so crazy. And then it's like because then you have to like wake up every day with them after that and be like Don't know that's such a fucked up. Do you imagine that not to be in what uh, who's that lady? Casey Anthony, she was accusing her dad of it. I'm lasting her. Yeah, she she the documentary came out She was like, that's why I'm fucking wild and didn't didn't report my three-year-old being missing for 30 days What the fuck? Yeah Yeah, she blend the killing honor dad, which if both of those are false Yeah, Casey Anthony's literally the worst daughter of all time Killed her three-year-old and then was like yeah, my dad's a raping murderer

He raped his own he raped his kids and murdered a three-year-old. I mean Jesus gotta be sitting. They're like, what the fuck? Casey I hired a fucking lawyer for you. I Lost everything on this fucking Oh Yeah, that's a case that he should kill her. Yeah, she's lying. He should shoot her in the head. Yeah, man. Well Whatever, I know what you mean. There's no way case he had these dads listening to Matt and Shane see He could have been reduced to that position where he needs to now he's probably the lawyer now a son

He's just like wiki. Wow. He's probably wiki. Wow. Wow. He's probably finally my one escape This episode Casey Anthony's dad You guys bring up a good point. Yeah, they've definitely successfully mobilized me in violence and I must kill my daughter It's like the Mugatu music for him. He's fucking Zoolander doing I was listening to Mugatu on the plane Listening to basically the Zoolander soundtrack Not ironically. Yeah, man. I'm fucking zombie nation came on and I was like What's on the nation? Oh

Yeah, dude, that's crazy. Yeah Yeah, it's on the plane just like actually like yes, that's that I think was my but you've said a long time You had to stop listening to rap. Yeah Get letting the fucking let out Listen to zombie nation. Yeah, I'm back dude. You might fully be a fully you might fully be back I'm telling you rap after a while. I think it's just designed to like Just beat you down Yeah, I'm the best unless you can somehow be doing well enough to identify

Victoriously with the rapper then you start doing that and you end up like a complete psycho. That's what I'm saying Yeah, I guess I am the best and then you go do a show and you bomb and you're like Juice world dude. I was lying about everything. Yeah, all my entire identity is false Someone's gonna fuck my girlfriend. I thought I was gonna fuck my girlfriend fucking my girlfriend every song He's gonna fuck my girlfriend and kill me when I'm on his block fuck Yeah, I just stopped being able to do it man. I would just listen to it I still there is some rap I like but it's like, yeah, so I suppose I turn it on and go who the fuck am I kidding man Yeah, who the fuck any fucking listen to some zap. That's what I'm saying

But yeah, it is nice it is nice allowing yourself to be happy in life Yeah, things are going well. Otherwise that makes everything very confusing and scary when things are going well and you go Oh Fuck fuck this up. Yeah, you start going. How long have I just been torturing myself like this in my head? Well, two years It's been about two straight years Things are gonna go bad soon. Yeah That's nice. Yeah, I gotta work on that. Yeah, it's tough It's tough dude. Whatever dude all the time. I just go especially when I lay down

That's when it really gets me when I lay down to go to bed at night. It's like most in a one more audio book I don't know if I can exactly sit with myself in silence. No, yeah, there's no time for thoughts. I've no thoughts, dude Doing stand-up no thoughts. I thought dude. I was literally I was thinking about that the other night now Like I'll just be blaring myself with just fucking like Facts to get about like the emergence of television until I'm just like I start losing consciousness And I'm like sweet and I turn it off. I'm like wow It's so nice when you lose consciousness Listen to an audio book and then you realize like oh, I didn't hear the last 30 seconds

Then you wake up and it's still going and you're like release me My favorite. Yeah, dude. It really is my favorite feeling is laying there and when you realize you didn't hear it Yep. Yeah, and I go back back back back. I hit the 30 seconds back three times and I turn it off and go And then I die in my sleep over and over again with sleep apnea. Yeah, true Are you getting the pat machine? No, I got to though. That'd be fucking nice. Yeah, I gotta go get I gotta go back to the guy I'm getting the deviated steps with that turn. I don't know how much how much I did in terms of opening it up myself Yeah, I thought you did pretty good. I tried to get out of spends of my way using wind to I Mean I'm getting air through if I go like this. Oh, no, that's the other national

No, it's buggers, but you know, it also could be not not wind Eroding your cartilage, but the muscles. I thought about that too, man If you can push your teeth together with braces, I was thinking more so the air molecules like that water That's no it's over time, dude. That's yeah, that takes a million years. Yeah, I know I don't have that much time That's water. That's not air true. Well, water is passing through air of course But I Just watch like one millionth of your kidneys just fucking die. Yeah, of course I'm thinking about that all the time now when I get like super fucked up about something like I'm like

Which one of my organs is just like atrophy? Yeah, what's one of these is taking this one of us stress Some soul be like actually Hope this is going to my spleen Yeah, how much of it my wife going just let me talk just let me just hear what I'm saying I'm gonna sit there going like that's fine But I I could feel the fucking my killer T cells falling the cancer cells like Cramping I don't know where it is Something's in there the cancer cells like yes, right? Yes, the conditions are perfect

He's so stressed I'm sitting here listening about the top rack of the dishwasher. Just like No, no, I hear you Great point the honey I mean you could just put them wherever you want Yeah, it doesn't matter which way the silverware is facing in the dish We need to fight about please I don't care Yeah, argue with somebody about something you just don't care I don't care

It kills you and you can't say I don't care because then they'll be like, of course, you know I actually don't care about it. No Recently I had a I had a huge breakthrough where it was actually was regarding the fucking dishwasher I was being told about and when even when like she was making an effort to be like nice about it Which almost bothers me even more because I'm like so I don't have the I have no outlet for being like why are you freaking out about the dishwasher? She's like hey, I just want to tell you like this is the way I put it in there and I'm going like Jesus fucking I'm dying I'm fucking dying inside and then I just stop halfway through and I'm like This is just making me really mad right now. She was like what and I was like dude

I'm not mad at you if you want to talk about the dishwasher you go ahead and I can't talk about the dish I'm not gonna change you as a person But when you do this it makes me so fucking angry Yeah, and I was like, but you have every right to tell me about the dishwasher and I'll try to listen I'm not gonna talk about it pisses me off when you talk about you doing the right thing and I need a second dude And she was like, oh, yeah, no problem Usually I'm just kind of like I start trying to like delete her personality in real time I'm like don't ever fucking talk about that shit to me ever

I'm in there. I'm in her coding be like can we just delete that whole block dude, and she's like ah Every morning I wake up and I'm on my girlfriend's ass Especially if I have when I have to do something today today had to work out this morning. I woke up. Just like you're gonna lay in bed Well lazy bones I was like I need you to take the curt shelling baseball The store where we got this frame then get it in one of those clear boxes and the laundry I was like honey wake up. I need the curt shelling baseball in a clear case I

Vast you about this before a couple times. What are you doing? She nails it right away. She's like you have to go lift Yes, I have to do fucking dead lifts Wake up the curt shelling baseball needs in a case I'm gonna get the curt shelling baseball. We need it. Yeah, dude. Where is that thing? But yeah, dude, that's been the That's been a real what the fuck She thought you could just toss it

That's in the box That's something I realized all arguments between couples are it's just you're trying to delete the like code of a person's personality infuriates both parties Damn, dude Where's your gloves? Oh? But some gloves on Shane all the best Kurt Gave Davis touchdown this weekend not a big deal. You want to make some money gave Davis touchdown every game this playoffs really? Knuckleball

Scratched it Is that mint? That's a mint. It's a mint ball. Dude. We got to get back into baseball cards I'd love that. That'd be so sick dude. I told you I had the Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie card Rookie card, and I just being the fucking impetuous bitch that I am I kept taking it out of the plastic course Smudge it all up dog. You're did I fucking I fucked up all of my cards Who keeps them in the case? What kind of psycho are you killers? Especially they have the nicest like bumps. There's bumps on bro. I couldn't I popped all my sick cards out of the cases I'd carry my pocket

Dude, I had a jealous friend. I think I've told you no sick collection My older cousins everybody I had the nicest collection. Did you really I bins of cards? Oh so many cards Are they there's probably still my parents in fact, I'm certainly all right check on them time to time Bring a little test of Rudy that's gonna be worse something I Have about twenty seven dollars worth of baseball cards Wait by one time we're at my friend's house and

The cards were left unguarded came back upstairs all of them were bent what floor and he said my little brother did it I Said bro, you're a jealous cunt. What you destroyed my cards I didn't I didn't call now. I never called him out. What the fuck? I'm certain. It wasn't the little brother Yeah, dude, and also you let him Maybe he didn't have him do his bidding dude. He did maybe He's probably like Oh my god, it's fucking bullshit. Yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah one Christmas. I got the entire I didn't have any Now I got me dude surrounded by memorabilia. I mean that was just

Good luck bending this yeah, true. It's a jersey. You know, I know I need that thing in glass dude shilling. Oh, yeah Yeah, put that in glass who knows who's gonna turn on me next get some lasers I'll be a guard dog move scribble on my card shilling. I Would never do you scribble on my card shilling baseball. I'm gonna fuck you up Yo, how bad do you fuck our dog up if you held the baseball in vengeance and punched him with it like a roll of quarters Seriously, dude, you might have that you definitely kill I might get it might go through him It's a shilling signed ball. Dude. This thing's got a automatic velocity of like 90 if somebody vandalizes your home Can't you attack? Aren't you like legally allowed to attack them? There was a story. I doubt it's true

The can't be true Somebody broke into Randy Johnson's house and he started winging balls at him Can't be true. Maybe look it up. Guardians are true. That's the greatest story of all time Randy Johnson started pegging balls at you. Yeah, you're just trying to break into a guy's house all of a sudden There's like a six six fucking a monster 100 mile an hour balls at you. Yeah, you think he keeps him up like people keep katanas above the bed Right in the chest here. He throws it right your chest. Don't smudge the autograph dude. It's creature. I

Feel that ball though. It is nice to feel I don't change all the best. Oh Man, dude, how nice is that thing to hold? That's beautiful brand new. It's true. No, it can't be true No, it's not true But Randy Johnson claimed that he kept them by his bed just in case he needed to That's probably what I saw. I'm a dumbass. I'm thinking of fucking who's the wide receiver Ranny Moss Someone broke into Randy Moss's house McGay's hitting right in the numbers right in the chest Well, he's not even fucking quarterback

The big you're talking about the big unit. Yeah, that would be crazy I said six six. I think it might be six nine, dude Six nine's outrageous. Do you think the hood could dunk on him? What do you think the hood could dunk on him? There's no way the hood could ever done the kingdom of the kingdom. Yeah, right. That was an embarrassing video. Yeah, that was absolutely Disgusting. Yeah, we watched a video. We watched a video of a white guy going around saying I'll give anybody Anybody in the hood a thousand dollars if they can dunk on me Yeah, it's pretty frustrating pretty not eventful. Yeah, it's a pretty Sinister success RJ is 610

610 Google yeah Yeah, he's a man. He's all famous right? He hit the bird with the fastball kill. That was a guy who killed the bird exploded a bird It's pretty neat Imagine me dude That'd be like bullets, dude. Oh my god So that's a real story you pegged him now nobody's broken a bird claimed he Oh in case he had it ready. He probably did keep the bin ready, dude. It seems like a tail Tail tail

Fun fucking big unit you think of the big hurt the big unit Dude probably kept those things on the big hurts such a good nickname the big hurt is the best big hurt might be the nicest He wasn't there wrapped up in all the steroid stuff was he beloved Frank now? You know, he's just taking fucking tea on true vision. He's selling fucking testosterone. Maybe he was on the juice Maybe he was on the juice, dude What you got You're filling out, bro, you've been eating When you fucking first started beer you were such a wimp

Fucking man, dude, you're loud you're talking Said you tell us to hold on and then you have nothing to say Fucking man, dude, you used to be used to be diary of a wimpy podcast Big time Young gonna Never did juice my course a big hurt that he calls himself the clean hurt for that reason clean hurt It's just thick dude, we were actually discussing your domestic situation meaning the one down the street Oh, yeah, the mumble fucking the mumble house. Oh yeah me goes

Yeah Shane brought up you guys. We're backstage thinking about you and Shane O'Connor's mumbling to each other Yeah, we do time. I actually took the trash out last So could you take the trash out this week? Shane was in the green room with us this week. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Mary and Mary Radzinski and Shane were there It was truly a wonderful weekend. Yeah, you're just thinking about me. Well, we were thinking about you a lot Thanks, guys. We were Shane mumbled so much. I genuinely thought you were with us on the trip He's almost worse than me. He yeah

But I get I get it's about I have my moments for sure I have to scream what at both of them And then they don't change the fucking the octaves or whatever The decibels remain the exact same For mumble, yeah, my dad yelled at me the other day. What do you say nobody could freaking understand? Yeah Sean try to talk to me. I can't freaking understand him. My dad punked me yesterday. Yeah, he called me Matt Hannity It's called a dumb happy birthday you did get you get you got it you got to destroy the wokers on Fox My mom was so happy

My mom's I can my mom's every good mom's dream is that their son gets on Fox and it's like what the fuck's going on with kids these days Why don't they respectful like me? Every mom's dream is a nice gentleman a nice Fox news gentlemen. I know dude. I know my dad hit me with Matt Hannity I was like Hey, Matt Hannity Yeah, we're getting fucked over by our dad everyone's a lot of dads get a funny one Oh, dude, it is good mess with Shane Squatch was Undeniably funny what was back when I lived at my parents Phil would fuck with me

I'm gonna go messing with Shane Squatch Fucking a beef jerky commercial Dad's love commercial Every since the Budweiser Frogs dad's just dude. Where's the beef? They love catchphrases completely taken down Right now I think their collective mind is on the show Yellowstone for some reason they all talk about yeah Every time I talk to someone they're like do you seen Yellowstone Phil hasn't gotten hit with it yet Is he a big TV series head or he's a sports guy might have he was on the wire for a while this past year Which may be very happy. That's pretty tight. He liked the wire as a tree. It's pretty enjoyable

They didn't tell you about his shoes. No, was he rocking? He's got he got a black and white Air Force one Oh, you did tell me that yeah, yeah, no idea. I think my sister. Yeah, he has no idea what they are He's just been wearing them with like a light jeans and Air Force one No idea. He has no idea. He's just stumping in his Air Force one. He's stompin, big boy Because the Elks and he says give me two beers Dude think about like in those old videos they do like that triple take while the drum went down while he's driving his car This kid new kids are nice now. I saw I think a Kia boy got at a car on my block the other day

No, there's a Kia that just got smashed into a parked car You saw a young fucking an urban yuppie just going Just sitting there. Oh I have to go back to the local bar and spread communism. Yeah, true. Here's how am I gonna get there? My Kia has been smashed by well the Kia was the car that was the missile. Yeah, so he had This look more like a Subaru type same thing that Subaru got smashed by the keyboard Yeah, yeah, Subaru guy got smashed by yeah, come cut. Yeah, kick out the white man in a Subaru, dude White man Subaru got kick out. Yeah, the white colonize the colonizers child in the Subaru. Yeah, man. It's all about like love

Yeah, got smashed up my Kia boy was going Here's his aunts and uncles like how you doing down there in the city? It's pretty it's not that bad. It's actually not as bad as you say What happened? I Guess another white guy must have smashed your car Actually, it doesn't matter what the race was But yes, it was a black guy My ring doorbell picked it up. It was for black and I am furious at them Yeah, the doors are all open so it's a car it must have been a car full of people just all got out

I pull I was walking my dogs dying. It's like, oh, no. Yeah, that's fun. No Kia, bro If you were a young youth if you were a young war dog, dude being a Kia boy would be about the funniest thing of all time Unbelievable crashing a car and all of you running and all of you getting away with a smile, dude I saw it. I saw all the doors Well, only the only two there's only the two doors that could get open front and back the other ones were smashed against the car But still it's like there's people in the back people in the front ever must have got out and ran I'm like, what a funny fucking thing. We used to take my Uncle's car like my you really take my parents cars and like just we would try to like split a case of blood light and just

The guy our parents are asleep. Let's drive their car as fast as we can. Yeah sick awesome Yeah, do you present the rogues hitting the Tesla on us? That was scary. It was so hot That was so scary. I closed my eyes. Yeah, I watched the whole time and I was like I might I was it The only thing I thought about was like dude if I died right now in this car That'd be pretty crazy. Yeah, pretty tight dude pretty tight Just going down on like just hitting like a concrete fucking in Texas with rogues and a Tesla Explodes what if that was his whole plan, dude? He's like I've had enough of this shit. I'm done. We're done I'm fucking we're all going down

Oh You just like still put my thing out What do you know Fox news Fox news was sick Congratulations Fox news got it out and pumped it. You gotta say when's the pencil I'm gonna swing back I'm a fox. I was like, I can't believe we'll Smith Can you believe that Amber heard we've been calling her amber turd Well, what's going on in the way we're at 48 one hour 57 hell yeah

Dude, I mean, how is it done every week? I just don't understand how do we keep doing it? Yeah, just wake up and I go We'll see We'll see. Well, I got a funny story for you. I had to work out today Yeah, two hot ladies in the jet know the reason I go to those trainers to this is the worst case Yeah, yeah, two hot ladies. I did and my trainer was like I because I worked yesterday and I'm sore Yeah, so he was like, all right. We'll we'll just do cardio today. So I was like great. Yeah, fuck dude I'm not doing cardio for an hour. Yeah, it's terrorist. No, we did and half of them It's all like crossfit type workouts. So like you just have to like dude. I had to carry

Wait above my head straight above my head and just walk up and down the gym Jesus, but it's like a very narrow gym. So I'm walking. I have to like be like excuse me Two hot ladies doing fucking like hot stretches doing backflips dude straight above my head dude going like this You don't walk by go Dude the front of my shirts up the bottom of my belly is hanging out You're the Chiquita banana man, I'm absolutely Mr. Tally Excuse me, ma'am Pardon me mom

My this thing so heavy on my head. Oh, well, you're making me get his team on my head. This is so bad I Had to say and there was another guy that works there and my trainer They're both just watching like literally like staring at me doing it while I was doing I had to be like What's up guys, and they're like, all right, sorry Sorry, we're doing that the ladies. You're the thing was up. No, it's my trainer and another guy We're just watching just watching me What's up, dude like stop watching me do this and they're both like, yeah, you're right

What the fuck like what the fuck is this dude My little nub donk sticking out the front of my Please put my arms down. I was wearing I was wearing a gray t-shirt. It's drenched. Yeah, I'm fucking disgusting What's wrong with sweating? I feel like there's no it's nothing wrong with it But when you look like me and your covered in sweat going You get the pain I mean the last I've been lifting again the last like three weeks. Yeah, and looking swole. Thanks, man I get to flex down my friends like

Look at swole. I like to scream like Connor McGregor But every time I've worked out with him he's had a class he also teaches full classes So then I'm the only one in the gym working and then a class of like 15 people shows up And they all have to wait until I'm done and they always get there for the end which is always conditioning So they always see me like Like can't do three push-ups just You're fully maxed out max anyone who knows anything one man that guy hit his limit. Yeah, I was benching a bench And then do you know come on man? Yeah, what do you do you want to be like?

The Russian from Rocky Ford is fucking They come in full cyborg. They all sit there. There's been so there's a sock that would fuck me five people And I'm doing like lunges with no weight. You're just your legs are just shaking That does suck actually I don't really like it took me a while for me to watch like get over people watch me work out That was fucking me up for a long time I used to not it's fine if they're also working out, but when people are literally waiting. Yeah, and I'm taking breaks Yeah, so you remember doing track meets it was like 55 fucking people sitting around and you're turning around you're like I just not no I never ran once I just keep sitting around shop

What I had to go up and fucking pretend I was good at that. I was horrendous at it That's what they did to me. There's three times the size of everybody else doing it. Yeah, I threw it two feet Yeah, I thought I could get out of running my shop put and I embarrassed myself and like some area championship I was automatically placed things. We didn't have any shop putters. Yeah, I think I did good in like the regular meat I did decent. They're like you go to areas. I just got obliterated. Yeah, I just took the girl ball Let's throw the girl ball. That's not a bad idea. It's fun No one it wasn't serious enough that people were really checking. I still lost I still lost

But it was the only way I could come even close It'd be nice to bring it back act as if you're so serious you have your own ball like now I brought this from how I like that thing out throw it fucking 90 feet Like that, why is this ball whistling? Yeah, pretty yeah throw it like a regular baseball Got it. That'd be fun. All right, let's switch over to the patcher. Yeah, what do you say? Yeah, the patcher is gonna be big patreon is gonna be big guys join the number one patron on the world I mean, it is what it is man. It's not a big deal. Yeah, we're don't you know if you don't want to know

We're already reached number one. I don't want to get too ahead of the rest of them So we reach number one you want to stay off. I'm thinking about capping it all together Yeah, it's being like no more pick no more new guys, man. Yeah, just you guys so hurry up Don't try to get in there if you want me But yeah, it's probably gonna be closed off forever and super exclusive and you'll be missing out for the rest of your life That would suck. Oh, it's suck imagine. Can you imagine not wanting another hour at least of this crazy? Yeah, well, you know, you know, I mean if you're at your job, it's like you want another hour of mental freedom from oh Extreme bored or you could you know your feelings you start get your job. You don't want to do this

God that's that for one more hour. You could escape that Waking up in the morning to a job. You don't want to go to yeah. Is there anything worse? I mean, yes, but Well, that's a pretty tough time pretty bad. You know, especially in the developed world That's like the number one thing. That's fucking. Yeah, it's good It's worth the feature. All right, patreon.com. Good. Bye