Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 471 - Introspective Bad Ass (feat. Tommy Pope)

Episode Date: December 7, 2023

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Tommy and Dr. Spunge @ patreon.com/stuffisland Buy Chris and Tommy's Merch @ stuffislandpod.com Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch HELLO. We're back with the weekly episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast! This week the D.A.W.G.Z. are joined by one of our dearest friends Thomas Pope from the Stuff Island podcast. We brought a little piece of home out to ATX again :) What a wonderful podcast. Please enjoy. God Bless. Support the show & get 20% off & free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com with the code DRENCHED Support the show & get Lucy Breakers for 20% off & free shipping at https://www.lucy.co promo code DRENCHED New customers can score $200 instantly in bonus bets for throwing down just $5 on the NBA. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & use code DRENCHED Support the show and get up to 34% off some sweet new metal art with the code DRENCHED at: https://displate.com/mssp?art=6247403451297 Go to https://auraframes.com/mssp and get up to $60 off today. 

Yes, I was a damn builder Order on the wild Colorado he wasted a way pretty good You need a get-tap No one ever calls those dudes no one ever calls it fell to wet semen The wet semen below Yeah, that must be funny if you got the three the highway man. Yeah, if you did gay stuff to them They would have fucking all that be false it dude. Hey knocking the fuck off man We're trying to play the keytards

Not stop fucking show me your dick pal. I ain't funny around here Yeah, balls what the ball. What the hell? My horny needed cock. Sure, I'll take a piece of bubble gum. What the hell? That's your testicles, dude. Partner, you got them scrotum outta here. Kick his ass.

Don't show your scrotum in this. Funky Donny Fritz, get him. Funky. God, David Funky. Don't touch him. How the fuck did you guys get into that? What? That's all.

A whole country. That was Matt's. What was the name of your playlist? Oh, Interrespective of bad ass playlist. Interrespective of bad ass songs. You've come across the same genre yourself. At a certain point, you can only listen to Interrespective bad ass songs. Yeah.

Your brothers turn me on the some beat songs. True. And we're in Florida. What was he going to do some Yacht Rock? No, but he's got like a deeper Yacht Rock. It's like more emotionally in the... Oh, soft rock. Interrespective a deeper yacht rock. It's like more emotionally. Oh, soft rock. It's like a soft rock. You got this expected bad ass soft rock. Yeah, soft rock is like for the ladies.

There's two there's two families of soft rock. One's for the ladies and one's just for a dude. Yeah, I think one's for part of the rowing with myself. Yeah, once for sitting in your bed just staring at the wall. Exactly. It's all dudes do. They don't have a girlfriend. You stare at them. Yeah, they stare at the wall. Yeah, they're like, God. Slowly fucking dead. You know, woman is filling you with bad ideas and you'll wait what?

That's who keeps you alive. It does. Her mouth and bad ideas. She's moving. You wouldn't move otherwise. If I didn't have a wife, I'd stop moving. Like tomorrow, just really. Yeah.

Yes. I mean, this is so relaxing. They don't just be like, I know this isn God. I mean, this is so relaxing, then I'll just be like, I know this isn't good to talk about, but if you did, if your family left, how many days do you think you would lay down? That's a great question. Like for real to catch, get up, catch some Z's.

Dude, not exaggerating. Catch up on some Z's. Not even depressing Z's, just like, it would be all the Z's he's lost. He's like my bio, like, you were were to like if you were to suspend my physical Organism out of my family structure. I was just laying there. Yeah, dude. I'd be you catch Z's a week You have to go back to being it you'd become a feral pig again Dude I'd wait I was just a week straight. Yeah, I always thought about that in jack bow

Or you know, say 24 hours to do some wild shit like just show a sketch of him the next 24 24 hours to do some wild shit like just show us catch him the next 24 McDonald's I knew it dude you so hold it down where he would tell his wife He's like I need two weeks no questions asked catch you later and he said he would just fuck chicks Just go nuts dude like with the push everything really cook cook everything How often with the two weeks coming in? Huh? How often? Well, like what's it this is? I think you just, I think the wolf would how within them. I'm just like, I gotta go.

I gotta go. And you would just go fucking nuts. That's kind of introspective badass though, just like. It is. I mean, I gotta hit to the tabernacle. Yeah, where's my guitar? You gotta like, I gotta quench my thirst with whiskey. Yeah, he would just, and he would explain this to me.

I'm like, okay. And she was cool with it. Yeah, I don't think so. Yeah. I don't think it worked Right, didn't you tell me I think the party got away from I think the doctor Jackal Mr. Hyde situation. Yeah, yes That party week is a hide fucking took over. Yeah, I'm never going home. Yeah, I like the party week I'll bring the party to each week. You bring the party closer to you Yeah, you like bring the party right down the street. Yeah. And then the party's keep the party right here party takes I remember being younger being like, it's kind of boss to be when I was younger. I was like, yeah,

it makes sense. Yeah, it just disappear for two weeks and do blow. Two weeks a lot. I've heard what he said. Weekends. Yeah. Long time. Every few months you get a weekend to go AC and fuck off two weeks. He's got no kids. I don't want to give out too much

identifying information, but he's so much. He's embedded in a family. Yeah. He's embedded in a family. But the, the, yeah, that was, I, it's gotta be nuts though, because then when you're like, okay, I've had enough. It's gotta be.

You gotta be the saddest dude. I've noticed two weeks you'd be like, I love you so much. Yeah. Probably helps a little. I could see it. Coming home and being like, I love my wife so fucking much. I never would go back to those two weeks.

Yeah, you're just, you know, four days. You just have to be two weeks. Four days go by and you go, fuck, I missed those two weeks. I fucking hate my wife. But there has to be, dude, imagine the post-not clarity of like, you scream scream come into a hooker Like you The coke way off and you're just like

You want to go up? I have to go back to my family. Oh Yeah family. Oh, yeah, the screen, the screen, the screen, the screen come guy is still the funniest, maybe the funniest thing, but that Chuck, Chuck Bay farting in a hooker's face and the screen come guy are the two funny students. What's allowed is grunt, you made coming. I've settled it, but I've ice is screen, I was a I was an as you were allowed lover, I was allowed dude, yeah, I could hear you make a help. Now, yeah, I've ice is great. I was an, I was an ass. You were a loud lover. I was a loud dude. Yeah. I could hear you make a lot of sound.

I couldn't help it, dude. Now, yeah. I've hardly made love. I've heard you make a lot of. You allowed, I mean, loud at sex, so you just allowed comment. I was just allowed to comment. I mean, I would think I was quiet.

Look, that's what we're talking here. Yeah, if it was, if it was real. If there was no roommates around, it was I would just fully let it go. Yeah. I couldn't help it. It felt so damn good, dude. Yeah. If you, if you do release an orgasm that loud where you're screaming. I am always worried. I'm gonna fart. Oh, yeah Because that's like a you know, you know, I push and all the everything's going out

I farted during orgasm multiple times dude. It's it happens. It happens. It's all right There was ones I got reminded of one recently, like that one time you farted, you know, you're not even on it. And I was like, what? And I was like, oh, dude, I forgot. I was getting headburned. I farted during head.

I was not lying. Oh, no. It felt dude to him. It felt dude to him. Good. Chuk-a-wang. Maybe he felt dude to him. Good.

It's not my fault. He stashed my soul. That's an immediate stoppage right? Yeah, I mean that's enough. I was coming. I was in the engine. Oh, okay. Yeah, I the coming brought it on They made just blue hormones I mean it settled in babe. It's also got to be like a urinal for it too. It's soon as you start. I will get settled in, babe. It's also gotta be like a urinal for it too. It's not like that. It's just gotta be like a mom. Sweaty butt.

It's also a sweaty butt. Dude, it's sweaty butt. It's head sweaty butt. Just flapping at the top. Pfft. You're legs are completely straight. Yeah. Far.

She's like, man. That is my personal curse that I can't come unless I'm like the nutcracker. My legs. You're not fucking hell on the show. For real. It's proper pop. No, that's not you're not wrong.

Dude. I just just not riding my joke. I'm gonna pop, I'm gonna pop. It's the legs a lot. It's a thing. Sometimes'm gonna pop, I'm gonna pop. It's the legs a lot, it's a thing. Sometimes I'll be jacking off of it. I got a date like my name. You're hurting me.

It's like you're elbow after throwing darts for that. What the fuck did I do yesterday? He's limp out of the shower. Yeah, I am. I'm gonna fuck that. I got his ran a mile. I feel like I get more vocal than more I come. Like if it's like a three day beat off or three beat off day, like the third, I get a barrel.

Yeah, you start growing tusks. Well, there's nothing coming out. It's the more it's a better feel. You're saying, oh, the deeper you get into it, you're saying once you get rid of all the comments, but it's a grunt. It's just spaz. It's your body straight. Yeah, it's your body straight That's your body screaming your body stop

It's one more, man. Yeah, just one more body I'm come rich right now. I'll be honest. I'm personally I'm come rich. I'm loaded, bro. Yeah, it's crazy I just found out I want to get my sperm tested and they'd say you can't beat off for three days. Up to five. Yeah, which one. So I'm gonna wane off like if I was trying to just quit drinking. You're gonna get sick.

I'm gonna drink five. It's gonna be like those nuclear tests in the desert. Oh my God. The force unleashed. Dude, our boy was saying that the jerk off boosts are like classic. Like there's like magazines and and VHS tapes still. Or really?

It's like people just go in there and they perform like you wouldn't at 70s or 80s. Instead of just using your phone. Like they're grabbing VHS tapes, filled with other dudes, glazed with other dudes, come pop it in a VCR, and hit the butt. Pushing buttons.

What made you wanna get your spirit? There's this guy there jerking off with you. Yeah I just want I'm why turn 44 and I'm interested see what the boys are up to true. Yeah, the back swim and see if they're just fucking See if they're all gone singing in a circle see if it's a laser. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, see see how many dead soldiers we have just good enough to Be cool to like see what's up. Yeah Just thousands of bloated enough Especially if you can't get pregnant or you can't inseminate. Yeah, it'd be nice to blame the woman never tell her Yeah, oh yeah, something's wrong with you. Yeah, I must go away for two weeks to find my next pig Mine works. Yeah, it's you that's failing us

We need an heir. Would you break up with a woman if you definitely wanted kids and you found that she couldn't? I don't know. That's a tough one. Yeah. It depends how much I cared about her, but yeah. I don't know. Let's go.

Let's get a surrogate. Or maybe I get a second girlfriend that can actually get. Now, listen, we're talking a very nice fantasy. Yeah, that's a tough con, though. That's actually kind of, yeah. Maybe I get a second girlfriend like an extra Get now listen we're talking a very nice fantasy Yeah, it's a tough combo. That's actually kind of yeah, let me kind of nice to just even obviously you don't fuck the Sergit, but like being like my comes in there. Oh, yeah I mean time to see you go goddamn shit My jesus in there Hopefully just get reminded of a breakfast big weights

I don't I'm this whole thing's kind of mystifying me. Where's my coming? Nice, I'll be right in your pussy. That's good to hear. I'll give you 20 grand Carried my seed or just to make it like her feel better brother thing you could shoot into her and have her Oh my god just to keep everyone in that little cum swap Yeah, people don't feel left out. Just so people don't feel left out like an avatar tale Too fucking labious. Yeah, that's an unfortunate circumstance people run into and you have to just be like, you'd have to be like,

all right, we're going to adopt 10 kids. We're going to adopt 10 kids and we're going to hold down in 1950s household where you have to do everything. Yeah. If you have the money, it's nice to collect them like trading cards, get all different colors and shit. You can get foster kids and get paid

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's good wild ass family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm talking native to Cambodian the whole thing Yeah, there's not a big jump there native to Camada. They look the exact same way It's a point in observation it is well, you know, you're close, close to the equated. Yeah, you're, you want more of a continuum. Yeah. I want it. Yeah, I want to. I'm just fucking mad at Beyonce right now. What's wrong with her? Did you read her? Did you see her? Moody? She sucks, dude. She's turned in an Oprah for me. I can't stay in looking her now. What happened? She's just too dramatic with all her fucking riches. Yeah. Yeah, her. She put out her rich. Yeah, she's actually tired of her. I can't spoil them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Concern movie so she put out about the concert movie written directed produced by Queen Bee herself obviously

It nice. Yeah, she directed it. Yeah, dude. It just says so much I mean a lot of the stuff she puts in there like what she leaves out says more than the stuff she puts in Where did you read that? I was reading it today dude NPR shame on NPR what I they've ran a headline today saying Beyonce silence on Israel Palestine is definite. There's something to the point like her silence is so loud and it was like, it's like, it can't be serious about this. I read the article and it was just them describing the podcast that they talked about it on. So they're kind of using it as a plug. NPR used the conflict to boost up their

their podcast and then said like Beyonce should be more vocal about. Yeah, it's very easy. It's very Israel of them. They think, wait, they think is she should be pro more pro Palestine? No, they said they just said she needs to pick a side. NPR was totally neutral. They're like, we just need her take her.

We need Beyonce's heard not talking about this is fucked. And then they went on a praise like not in this article. Now they're like just need her take her. You need Beyonce. Her not talking about this is fucked. And then they went on to praise like not in this article. Now they're like super praising her parenting style. It's like very dude. Her parenting. So it's so fucking good. What's so good about it? Parenting style. It's not that shit in the Kardashian Household.

You'd see it's like they are. It's gentle with a little bit of like. Oh, like a little. Yeah. It's gentle parenting the way people just that Texas. I mean, an elder millennial like myself needs. Yeah. No, I like where we're going. Keep an elder millennial, like you know, is showing people how to do general parenting with just a

little bit of like you better not. It showed a clip of her being stopped. That's annoying. And they're like, oh my god. So that means she's you think she's hidden before? The one that's why they respect her words. No, they're saying she doesn't hit. She models general parenting, but also with a little bit of like, clean B-sass. That's not coming from her. That's not coming from her.

The Kardashians, six mates. Look, dude, the Kardashians would never do what she does, dude. Yeah, the Kardashians can't handle it. This is like, dude, this is all just like AI media, corporate propaganda. That just gets terrible. Because every time Kim yells, yells come comes out of her mail She does yes, she like randomly spits up like a baby It was a two week old that time came out heavy

Yeah, I read the news for like I don't think I could care less about anybody's opinion more than what who the fuck would be like What do you think Beyonce thinks about dude? Is real palis. This is NPR too. NPR is respected Not more. It's like vice dude. Yeah, they're gone. Yeah true. True I walked I got to walk past NPR and I think Spokane they have like an MPR studio and it's just wide big glass windows and I'd walk by and go. Because you can see I'm in there talking my stuff as well. Edda just keep walking. That's nice. It was nice. You should got a brick. True. You really should. True. You should have just put a free Palestine flag on. Throwing a brick through it they'd have to be like, wow that's fine. Or have just put a free Palestine flag on. Throwing a brick through it, they'd have to be like, wow, that's fine. Or put both, put a bit of flag

that was half Israel half Palestine and just threw myself through the window. Yeah. Be on say, where are you? I say, help. Speak my queen. We need the queen's take. I want Taylor's been awfully quiet herself as well. She's been busy with boy she's boy crazy She is boy crazy. She hasn't now she's got a big football player. You think she's actually getting Yeah, yeah dude. I don't think that I don't understand why I believe the conspiracy is not real. How could why would it because he went from a thick-ass black check that was

Gorgeous to this fucking frail skeleton. He's taking a break. Why do you why are you talking about Taylor Swift like? to this fucking frail skeleton. He's taking a break. Why are you talking about Taylor Swift like? Guys, I don't like pretty lady. Who was Kels' original other lover? Huh? Who was his lover before? Awesome runway model with a bunch of steel, dude.

Really? Unbelievable. He's taking a break. He's taking a skinny white lady break. Yeah. I guess it is nice to take a shift. This is the two weeks away from stick black ass. Yeah.

He's a break. Yeah, he needs to be tired. He's in the corner. He's getting thrown back. You know, you get thrown back on you. That's like a fucking pissing, dude. Oh, true. And he switched it just a fucking.

True. Yeah. Yeah, frail tiny, tiny, tiny, little boy. Yeah. He's tiny, tiny. He'd be surprised. Yeah. If you get to the depths of like basically all that ass and hit like a tiny, tiny,

you can start to be like, alright, this just nice. Yeah, it's a little diamond. I made pressure once and it was the scariest thing in the world a tiny honey Yeah, you could see like a the top of her butt bone right above her Tailbone comes out of your skin Get the fuck standing up in the shower so you don't see any skeletal remains Whatever up in the shower so you don't see any skeletal remains. Whatever. I'm saying he's a bit of a connoisseur. Kels is a connoisseur. Yeah, I guess. I don't know.

I miss his old. I didn't know he was with it. She wouldn't be a BBW. Would she be a classic BBW? No, no. She was just thick. Dude, there's a lot. BBLs now are like every chick's getting plastic surgery.

Comic story, dude. It's a, just a circus full of latines with fake asses. It's fake lips. It's called upgrades. Upgrades. No, I'm doomed. I can't, I can't sit there down great. Yeah, they're really big.

Go to any airport. Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah, they're everywhere. Yeah, I get to be five every time. Pretty always like that's a BB, BBL or whatever. And I'm always like, really? What's they figure out the next generation? They look skinny thighs.

I know. Yeah. Some lat see like skinny thighs. I know yeah Some latin is have skinny thighs and big butts though By some I mean one I've no Maybe it was a BB yellow could have been an OG BB. Oh, it is nice. It's a nice. I whole life might be a fucking lie Visual red flag to see someone with all that work done. You're like that's a fucking. Yeah, that's a lunatic. It's a damaged person Yeah, I mean dude now I's a fucking, that's a lunatic. That's a damaged person. Yeah, I mean, dude, now I'm telling you, the fucking, what's the shit, how do they get all get, Botox?

That's like standard. Basic. That's like, they're not getting it is weird. Yeah. And then it's like, all the other stuff is like, yeah, I mean, obviously, I want to, God damn, getting facial surgery is so funnier. That's serious.

I hope I go crazy enough. Me too. If I go crazy enough, dude, I hope you get my time. I'm not getting in is so funner. I hope I go crazy enough. Me too. If I go crazy enough, dude, I hope you get my time. Like not getting shape in any way, but just, just go nuts on my face. It's just a fucking jaw. Just do nothing with anything else. And just get a crazy face. I mean, just Joan Rivers or no?

Matt, we've got to do the Patreon. No expression. And I'm mad. Joan Rivers your nose Matt we've got it through the Patreon No expression Big Hair piece of Tertleneck The hairline down to the eye Get some wig bangs That's I mean yeah, that's one way to do it. It's just end it.

Just keep doing stand up people be so scared. You guys remember Jack and all. Fire all act. You get coach bus. You're gonna get your coach bus. The four inch sticking straight up. Even if you got cheap implants, it would be so fucking hard.

Oh, these be- Be- Be- Rich white dudes get those cheek implants, you can see from like, it's fine. I mean, you would not be able to resist the cat context. You have a feline contact.

The cat context is the ultimate. If you get the feline contacts, you've reached the pinnacle. Dude, in 10 years, it's just you want to take talk like, go ahead, borrow a little bit of two pieces. It's all fucking gloating. Yeah, I might get six packs in implants. Six packing implants would be tight in a BBL.

I sent you a picture from a mail BBL. Mail BBL? Man get BBL soon now, yeah. Britney sent me a picture of from mail BBL. Mail BBL? Man get BBL soon now, yeah. Brittany sent me a picture of a mail BBL. Just gay guys with chump asses. I was telling, that was the argument. I was telling her I was like, it's, you gotta be gay. Shump.

Shump. Shump. Shump. Shump as a fucking doll. From that tennis picture. Yeah. It's gotta be gay guys. Although gay guys are on the frontier of mail beauty products. So whatever gay guys are doing like 30 years ago, so just had tennis picture. Yeah, gotta be gay guys. Although gay guys are on the frontier of male beauty products,

so whatever gay guys are doing like 30 years ago, so you can start doing it. It's pretty frightening when they do it right. Tannin, nobody did that. That was like highly, it was wild when I was in college once. And yeah, before I went down the Florida. Were you a Metro? Remember Metro, that's not a thing anymore.

I was a Metro sexual for sure. Metro is not a thing. You still here, I've heard somebody just say that. Metro? Remember Metro? That's not a thing anymore. I was Metro sexual for sure. Yeah, Metro is not. You're still here. I've heard somebody just say that. Like I'm Metro's out. I'm like everyone's met. What do you call it? It took a guy who comes his hair

as like a different sexuality. Yeah. In my own childhood. Yeah, if you work alone, did your hair put hair gel in? I used to crush this kid for wearing hair gel every day in school. I'd be like, get that shit out of your fucking hair. He just got me, he saw me like five years later

and I gel in my hair. Yeah. He was like, what the fuck? Was he, what's cool when I do it? Yeah, I was basically the gay guy with my brothers. Like I would come down with like, when Carpenter jeans came out for us, I'd have it like six months before.

Oh really? Your stylish guy. You the hammer loops. And they're just like that. Don't take it're stylish. You're stylish guy. You have my loops. And they're just like that. Don't take it like that. You are stylish guy. What do you mean? There's other wrong.

Style. They just call me gay for three for three months. They call me gay. And then they'd have that style six months later for another six years. Yeah, that's it. So they would just get stuck in that. And then just continue to call me gay every time

I was in the forefront. And then take it on. Yeah, then fucking be like, I always be like I was always something every Christmas. Yeah, I'll have something they're gonna go do what the fuck are you wearing? Yeah, yeah, and I go you'll be wearing this in three years. It's like Russia with new music. Yeah You know I use this clown you'll see yeah You'll see. Yeah. It is weird that I'm getting old enough. Dude, getting old enough and like, just noticing now chicks wear like baggy pants. That's a baggy jeans.

Yeah. We're paying an unmislike. Well, yeah, it'll come back in our favor, don't worry. But like, you watch it. I'm just like, you get a pendulum swing. Pendulum swing and back baggy. I can feel the pendulum swing. I swear to God, dude.

Well, summertime, this is them, the way. Not only for, you have to be so fucking hot to rock a bell bottom in my eyes. Yeah. You got to be long. You can't be under five five six. True. I like it. Yeah, you're right. I do like a tall girl in bell bucks. Yeah. And the ass has to flow directly into my thighs. I slip and fell into the wet cement below. That is a cowboy. I have become recently. I've become a bit of a cow poke. That's awesome. I was just in bootstore yesterday You went to ours. I went to ours. It's really nice. It is. I mean, I I felt like I was from the future like, you know Yeah, just a fucking grease ball. Yeah, East Coast maniac

Yeah, I got killing you guys cannot put on cowboy No, that'll bend space time. I put a hat on. I was like I got a stop. I'm disrespected you guys right now I look fucking No, I genuinely look like a retard If I put a cowboy head on I look actually if I give you 10 different hats you look And true baseball caps the closest one. No, I bet you look you just have to commit I think it's trust me on this Chris Chris sent down on my shit I left the apartment a cowboy head is in this building. You got to put it on

I'll show you you put it on and I'm black out and is you have a don't do it funny. You got to do it serious That'd be nice. You got to put it on the right. Put it on a wake up and you're building like a development on some dudes fucking nature preserving What the hell happened? This nice girl told me how to put it on you have to like You put it oh you got to put it on the front. It's got to be snug enough for the win not to kick it off true You have to get like a certain I'm in between a seven and a quarter and second seven and three eights Cabo head you didn't pull the trigger on a cowboy head now

She said she'd have to stretch it for me to get get get I was like I'm always I'm not buying a fucking six out I'm picking up when you're putting down how about you chill out, dude. I'm here to get a fucking how we get I should just try it just to have one, you know, dude You're taught you you know exactly how you looking to cowboy hat you love every second of it Yeah, but then it starts to become like it's a costume, you know, even if I want it to wear it It's too all of our clothes are costumes our personalities are costume dude. Sure, man. Just get deep into it I don't like you what listen to this introspective music is talking like this your personalities The total costume it is it's just a thick. It's a thick thing of defense against our childhood

Time he got me this jacket from my b-day. Yeah, dude, it's birthday this week. It's fucking nice Monday, I was a damn builder You don't think you look sick. I don't I also don't know what you said God nasty as for any for real as nasty as fuck 10 out of 10 drips of here I think you just have to commit to it for like a week and a half. I'll never wear it. I'll come out here Yeah, perfect. Yeah, it's crazy to do that. It is the perfect hat though for a dude. It's the straightest hat possible.

And when you're this big, if I had that size, I'd make some decisions. Yeah. In the house and out of the house, give it me. Pure domination. With a hat like that. It's time to dominate. I'm gonna put it on the hat.

Chicks love that stuff. Yeah, say, yeah. Tommy was explaining how you think I could put it on and you have a Coca-Cola with my chicken tenors. I'll just have the chicken tenors. This would be perfect with your future face. You just started doing that for a stand-up. You guys have a kids, man can't get the case to do you Just cheese no salt

The window what is this green stuff? I didn't want that you should take a nap on stage and put it down over your eyes I just bring with me a here and she's taking that and then it's lift your head up every five minutes Go let me tell you though something a folks. Let me tell you a little story Fucking tight Yeah, my hey, let me tell you a little story my uncle's retarded Let me tell you a little tale about my retarded uncle. His hunger required some grilled cheese so much. Boys mean it in a rattlesnake.

And boys sweeter than mama from door lemonade. Mama's back strap molasses pancakes. Oh, you get some of them flip jacks This is a beautiful beautiful edge of their season. This guy is a fucking genius. He's asleep again. This is my favorite mind of me of guys from my hometown.

That's what I like. Yeah, a cowboy has to make it. They should actually make a come back. They should not even come back because they haven't really been in there. But the special needs community could get in big into it. You know what I mean? Just be like, I'm make a comeback. They should not even come back because they haven't really been in there but the special needs community could get in big into it. You know what I mean? Just be like, I'm just a cowboy. Yeah.

Like, I'm a simple guy to guy. I'm just a simple man. I have small, simple pleasures. I'm like a plantation owner. I saw what you Mexican guys. Mexican guys do this. They come up here and they're here, like weird cowboys. I mean, they technically work cowboys.

Okay. The poor knees, we get a little map, get a little map and change it on them. We're like, whoa, here they're the one, we check it out. The country's certainly different, sorry guys. I mean, you should allow your special needs kid to just dress up every day, right?

Because that's kind of like a, you can take a little girl being a princess in the afternoon. Yeah. We're in a whole get up Yeah, I mean, I think people are letting their kids literally change fucking Texas yeah, yeah, you can let them wear whatever you want if I yeah, especially needs to get sex change If he's like I feel like a lady no

Wobble-wobble brother actually, I don't, maybe. I do. I make a million dollars off. And I'm like, this is my journey. Yeah. Yeah. It's to sell that talk right to Netflix. True. Now you gotta let them, yeah, you gotta let them party. Yeah, you gotta let people, you know, I can't selfishly

laughing your face. Just don't like Madonna style. True. We should let the special Indians compete in women's sports. Yeah. I bet you'd tear it up. True. We should let the special ambience compete in women's sports. Yeah, I bet you tear it up. Yeah, we'll be the ring card holder. Yeah, the ring girls. The ring boys for the WNBA. Yeah, come out. Tarded guys. Yeah, boy, yeah, this is holding up what quarter. Just chiseled too. Yeah, you know, they do West Watson's program and get fucking chiseled and racist. It chiseled and become a real brother. That would be tight too if we got them into like gang politics.

Let them form like a federation. Actually, that would be actually pretty tough. Lactic Empire have the tactics. Have them all dressed like aliens. But then you get that like AI fear where they could eventually take over. They're gonna take over It's imminent. Yeah, if we let them they might run it. Yeah, they might run it better I don't know if it would be all war or all peace, but it would be one of them

It'd be so fast. It'd be fascist. Yeah, dude. It would be airtight, dude I don't know they might be good at sharing e-topiness. It might be like true I'd be like they're all happy for each other a lot of the time true You know, I mean like special events each other a lot of the time. True. I mean, like, special Olympics, like if a dude wins, everyone's like, yeah, but then someone's going to catch wind of their peaceful nation and colonize it. And for real, that is what kind of thing. It's some Spanish guy.

Yeah. Kisos shows up, takes their French fries, pies out, they have a ton of roblox, they have a ton of roblox gold. Like, you know, you got to get this. Apparently there's like pedophiles on roblox. What? I didn't know this. There's like pedophiles on Roblox. What? I didn't know this. There's like pedophiles at chill on like Roblox.

I mean, basically Xbox live. You got to start pedo hunting on Xbox live. Is there's pedos at chill on there? The hunter has become the hunter. What do you mean Roblox? I don't know. It's like Minecraft. I never played it around that much.

Oh, it's a game. The hunter has become the hunter. I don't know. It's like Minecraft. I never played it. I don't know how much it's a game The game within the game the game within the game on call to be loud. He was like I'm 12 my ass my dick's harder right now Just charming the water You just hear Mike turn on just like what? Got him Yeah, I was watching a thing today about a guy He's just a guy apparently Ohio has a pedophile brome

Which makes every Paleo high. I was like number one the buckas the buckas state number one Ohio for some reason through something has the most pedophiles Ohio has the most almost everything. Yeah, really. Yeah Great coaches come out great presidents Yeah, I think they have the most pedophiles. Ohio is the most almost everything. Yeah, really. Yeah. It's just a terrible place. Great coaches come out. Great presidents. Yeah. I think they have the most. I think they have the most president.

I mean, makes sense. Yes, pressure cooker. It is a pressure. Ohio is a pressure. Pentefoil pressure. What's that fucking ship, Billy kept saying? Ohio resident or whatever. True Ohio resident.

Yeah. Ohio card revoked. Yes. What is the Ohio card? Pedal lessons. True Ohio resident. Yeah. Ohio card revoked. Yes. What is the Ohio card? Peter Leses. Some internet bullshit. But we just, yeah.

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Don't do that. Don't try to be cool for someone younger than you're get a nicotine. Yeah, we don't stand for that. We don't I'm telling you man. I think Ohio has a serious pedophile problem. I call it shred of information on the internet I'm hit report it stated its fact. I believe that it is true. It's like it's like KNA with heroin I think they all stand out there and they're like You know you're addressing that that app to see whether all that it's oh, I've done it before It's crazy. I did it in my old house and then I walked to the building and I stood outside and it was menace to have like,

you found where the pedophiles were? They're there, yeah, there was, you can see the one by us, like the three or four block radius, there's like 20. What? Dude, all of you look as little. Not by a see-through. No.

No, wait. No, but what he should, I mean, he's on the list regardless if you're good or not. Yeah. Guy's a lot of fucking unicycle. There's a lot of them around there. Huh? There's a lot of pedophiles.

Yeah, there was surprising. Around my neighborhood, there was a, remember I was telling you, I tried to find it and their address was like to like the one local, one of the local trade buildings, but I think they lived in a place above it or they threw it off. But there was one for sure towards like, to like the one local, one of the local trade buildings, but I think they lived in a place above it or they threw it off. But there was one for sure towards like North Philly for my old place.

And you would, I remember I saw the building and it was just a fucking nest, dude, because all the addresses were coming up the same, but like unit this unit that unit that, you know that. Truly a nest. We sat outside and I was just like, they probably go out and one of them go down hunts. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot my fist,. Yeah brings it back true No, they follow a little trail. It's got to be 20% that aren't really pito's

They just get slams for like beating off a public or a 19 year old date and a 16 year old Yeah, but you can read their charge on the Megs list. Oh really? Yeah, they'll say it doesn't just say Doesn't say like weird-ass motherfuckers. Yeah It says like what they did Yeah, some of them you get thrown on the list you can get thrown on the list for some bullshit I asked mother fuck this. Fuck this, I know it says like what they did. Freak boy. But yeah, some of them you get thrown on the list. You can get thrown on the list for some bullshit. Yeah.

Trying to catch a beat in the park. Yeah. How about that girl from Daytona? We saw her as they put a dildo on the beach. Yeah, yeah, there's a lady on the beach fingering herself. She got arrested. She snitched on herself right away. Yeah.

She's like, you didn't see it. Yeah, they came up to this lady who was hot. Yeah, she was hot. She was on the beach. She was sitting by herself on the beach. USA in America. Yeah, Daytona. And they fucking...

Bike week. She was holding it. No, I don't think it was bike week. It wasn't. But I think it was it's in golf coast. Was it for content? No, no, no, no. It was a body cam footage from the cops that showed up.

Like, we got reports of what we're doing here. She's just sitting at the beach bar. She went down the beach, dilded herself, then went back to the beach bar. Somebody fucking snitched. Who the fuck snitched? I don't know, but that'd be the cool, just sitting in a bar with me. She had a whole dildo in a backpack. Yeah, but she came in and she just told her, she was obviously mentally unstable.

Yeah, yeah, but she told her right away. Yeah, I fucking damn dude. She was like, were you Yeah, damn dude. She was like were you touching yourself? The cops were like were you touching yourself? She was like you guys didn't see that Yeah, she's like there's no way I was just like this. I put the towel over instead of just going no She's like I did all of you a family was down there Taking their fucking beach picture imagine being a judge of that case. Imagine being the cop Yeah, when you're going through a bag he was a pork or he was a toy. He was a chubby man. Oh, he's probably. Yeah, it's been used. Yeah. Yeah. She a big heaters. Yeah, a little

fucking. Take it away. This is it. This is the score. Yeah, there's pussy on that. There's pussy on that. He puts it in a little vial. Yeah, I'll bag it and tag it. Yeah. I'm wearing my friends pants. I was in my pockets. Yeah, right likely story Ca I haven't watched cops and forever. Yeah, it's gotta be tight It's just every criminal they apprehend is just dead from fat. No, no, I can't get up get up motherfucker Yeah crap. He's dead Yeah, they did a good run cops. Yeah, yeah, the show. Yeah, it was awesome. There's that one where the cop spears that lady

and she stabs herself, you ever see that one? No. It's great. It's just a crazy lady in a van and they pull up and then like, get out of the van. She takes out a huge knife and it's like, ha, and then a cop comes around the van and tackles her from behind.

Oh. So funny when he tackles her, he's like, derrr. He spears, everybody tackles her she goes oh Just lands on it lands on it. They roll her over and all you see is the handles sticking out the whole thing Oh, damn yeah pretty rough one. Fuck. What are you doing? Garland? Oh, yeah, yeah She she went out cold pretty quick really yeah Damn I was damn builder. I was a van driver the ultimate belly aching. That's the bosey bose of the belly ached

Yeah, if you get your lady with the knife, that's dude. There's nothing worse. If you're good, if you're even a son, he like stabs himself fighting a cop, you're like, you're sad, but you're like It's bound to happen. He's a bad guy. Have your daughter stab herself while wrestling a cop is just like Fuck isn't that the most pain that he say getting shot in a Stabbed. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, got shot. I can imagine it. I don't know. I bet that hurts the most So you're lunch leaking in the air. Yeah. All the Chipotle get now. The poll being released. The whole thing being released and

bones for your bodies to set a grates. I might become more powerful if the put Chipotle gets released into everything. Because right now it's just in the gut. And I'm pretty powerful. Heels the wound. It could heal everything Just Wolverine on two piece of beef Pops and the whole He's having a little bean drive all little bean shape fucking things out of your shoes. Yeah, it's probably actually kind of nice

Yeah, I think Chipotle's having a Renaissance. I really think they are Chipotle down here. It's pretty good fuck Hey, Joe. I mean down here close to the masters Close to the master's Chipotle kings guys probably walk in there Spit it out like I'm fed it What is this mush? Yeah, the Chipotle Chipotle is coming back. Thanks. Oh, they got the carne asada They were falling. What's the Chipotle looking like down here? What's the staff? I? Haven't even seen the throw up. Oh, you're just all digits. Bring it to me. Shoot.

Bring the Chippewla. You're like the Emperor in China. You're the Chinese Emperor in China. What you're seamless like down here, a grub hub, whatever. It's good. It is. Yeah.

Thought it would be good. But I mean, I'm not even trying to shit. I'm just getting Chippewla. Joe. Really? Yeah, I'm crossing Chippewla. You've got Chippewla multiple times a day? No.

Not multiple times a day. I think you can't have a multiple times a day. I'll be honest. I have definitely hit back the back days of Chipotle. I was eating Chipotle when you walked in. Yeah, I know. Have you eaten Chipotle twice in one day? Me? Yeah. No, I'm not. I think you can. I don't think it's physically possible. Yeah. In one day, I mean, one bowl of I can eat one Chipotle bowl and not eat for the rest of the rest of the day. 100%. That's what I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The only thing I do. There's a place by us is a

Knockoff Chipotle. It's a what's it called hot peppers? I split the bowl in hand He's true. He loves high hot peppers is so good Yeah, that was really good because they're not commercial they can give you healthy bountiful scoops true Dude I got I got a I don't want to have anyone lose their job I hit a sweet green yesterday or a couple days ago. Sweet green fell off. I was working here for a while. They fell off the one near me is fucking it's back Dude, they have herb roasted they're herb roasted chicken for real and it's not cutting a little portion like bro sweet green portions New Tories They've been screwing me notoriously girl portions you go

Just lettuce. It's like dude come on dude. I had a sweet lattice. I said double chicken. Please. What's that 64 dollars? It is a $10 out for sure. It's crazy. But she used dude. This is sweet angel gave me my two things And I was like, I'm you know, I'm getting ready to get the sweet green staying. I'm going fuck you serious right now And then dude it was two more than I went Rees and a little dude four more fucking tong full of chicken. I literally say God bless you, man Thank you God bless you, man Dude she hooked me up with the fattest fucking this week. It was awesome And those are their herb roasted chicken as a real it's a full chicken filet. I think they have them

So it was like one half one half one half one. I had like four full fillets of yeah bonus I my god. I mean, I said man man, I'm gonna bless you, man. Man, you're gonna fucking make me do this. Don't it for real. And the dressing, medium dressing, I said, that's extra heavy. Oh my God, man. Oh my God.

Yeah. Who's man blessed you? Fully blessed me. Dude, that's a thing too. I'm gonna start. If I see a real thin lady at anywhere like that, like a service bar, I'm gonna say, can I please have someone else? Can I have someone a little more girthy,

you know, who stands portion size? You get like a thin, like frail, communist college lady, and it's just like, they used to say that, you can start being a dastard, you can't trust a skinny chef, or whatever. The way? You can't trust a skinny chef.

You can't. That's not true. You see some fat bag of shit sweating all over your chicken. You see some vegetables dripping off his forehead. Yeah. Smiling a hot dog. Yeah, you need a big lady. You can't trust with the portions, man. You get a skinny lady who's like a vegetarian donut at the like the meat master at Chipotle. It depends. If they're Asian, it's nice. Skinny Asians. You think they doled out because they eat like like fat men They just burn it off true. You ever daily Asian girl like a little Asian girl

No, not like not enough to monitor her calories Nothing those two weeks. Yeah, I've had I've had a trist but I've never been like I never monitored Reportions I get a cell my girl orders us out because it's like start to 15 and then you gotta add chicken. Oh yeah. It's like another seven chicken and shrimp. No, you gotta go chicken and shrimp. And it's like got down. You're getting shrimp?

Bro. I'm adding protein. If I had, I have a problem. If I'm adding proteins, it gets out of control real fast. And then sometimes they'll be like, oh, you want both? That's a lot.

I go, don't tell me what the fuck with some of your animals. Don't fucking judge me. Oh, that's, it's actually pretty big. People eat it as a meal. I say appetizer. Yeah. We'll see what's going on. I'll be the judge of that.

Yeah, appetizer, please. Yeah. I got from my daddy. He's the king, dude, of making, of ensuring portion size at restaurant. Yeah. Let me get a salad, big salad. Yeah. And like, well, he's like, not like a big entree-sized salad. And they're like, all right, crushes it. And then it's steak. Yeah, let me get a salad. Big salad. Yeah. And like, well, he's like, not like a big entree size salad. They're like, all right, rushes it. And then it's

stake. Yeah. Picking out is just what we do, bro. Yeah. It's nice. That's your balance. You should see me. You should see me. I was a pile. Today was a fucking pile. That's nice. I double-burgrered last night, though. Really? Double-burgrered followed it up with Alpastor Taco when he were out. What, you ate two cheeseburgers? Like full-sized burgers? Not. Yes, sir.

You cooked them in home? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, oven burgers. You definitely need two burgers if it's in home. Yeah, but I'm talking guacamole on top of them. Cheese sauce, barbecue sauce.

You cook your burgers in oven? Dude. Yeah. They're very good. That's crazy. Oven burgers are, I was doubtful too, because oven burgers were a thing that I had. Boiler or just straight oven? Straight up, no.

Straight up brother. Brother I'm telling you, oven burgers seasoned up, my brother. And then you can do some lunch, them dude. You make like 50 ovens in one shot, they all come out at once. In the restaurant industry we call it fire. They all fire at once.

They all come out at once and the restaurant industry called fire. They all fire at once Order 42 all day fire you know they have slang in the kitchen order 42 fire all day They do Joe always What's what is that all day means like the its donner so I had fucking forget they go order 42 fired all day There's a bunch they have slang dude. They for you all think they're in the army. Yeah We know just all pill heads. I want to college learn how to boil potato I learned more from my fucking grandmother dude my abuela taught me how to cook really dude and my abuela's kitchen I didn't know you were such a foodie taught me how to cook. Really? Dude, my abuela's kitchen, dude. I didn't know you were such a foodie. You're a foodie. Dude, my abuela's kitchen was like any other dude. What did you learn

in the spices? I tell you all the spices. He taught me all the spices, not even just that, but just the love that goes in the food. It's like the whole thing for my family. All the more. I just like the secrets of cooking and the patience that like she taught me everything about cooking. I like to reflect that through my cooking. Yeah. It's every deal. She's here. It's my burger in the oven. My aboilla and the kitchen I was a young boy and she'd be pounding flan. She'd be shaving flan balls and she'd say, this is a secret to life.

Yeah. And I learned that. That's why I reflected my cooking. It might bake in meatballs on the food that we're going to eat. Yeah. My. I never knew my brother. I'm both my boy, I said past before I ever met them.

I had worn a boy a lot. Did you really? And she was not a cook. She was mean. There was no love in what she was making. Yeah, and I was like, she wear a bra. Yeah.

I Irish a boy, I show me the ways of cooking. I always just pick, pick Irish grandma. There's their tits for small. No, no, no. Why do you think Irish grandma's have the Tits because I ever won my ants. I tell him guys fetishize Irish women and I hate it. They do it a lot. They do it a lot. I do it. They do it. Oh, man. He's a product of it. Yeah, it's your WAP daddy got him.

Crosshair. Your WAP daddy cream pod your Irish mommy. Cross share your mom daddy cream pod your Irish mommy Same yeah, yeah, yeah, it's talking down like she's like a big cloud. I come down as a big fat Irish potato Ass I fucking jizzed in all yeah, that's actually literally that's how he talks How he talking it's fucking flesh freckled freckle monster fucking flesh-freckled, freckle monster. Every time you do that, that's my whole family, but it's literally my entire family. But usually when they're mean, they don't wear bras, that's why I actually said that.

No, she was like very conservative means, you know what I mean, like uptight, she would never let my grandma never let her titties out. Yeah. True, old patty-kill-kamey. Double bra. Never gonna let the titties out. Patty-kill-canny?

Yeah. My parents are from Kyl-canny. Nice. Yeah. Double bra. Never gonna let the titties out. Patty Kilkenny? Yeah. My parents are from Kilkenny. Nice. Yeah. Swag. My mother not much. Yeah. All right.

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I remember when my battle met my fucking grandfathers. What did you wish people called their grandfathers? Baba. Baba, bable. Bable. No, that's Russian. It's a beautiful bubble. Yes. Oh, baba, baba. Baba, Russian. It's a beautiful bubble. Yes. Oh, Bubba, Bubba.

Bubba, I think it's a good one. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba. Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba.

Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba.

Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba, Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Bubba. Is it my pop-ups kitchen? You would bust out a tin of hard cookies. Yes, if you if you got the tag Graham mom you were not respected by the mother or father Graham mom. Yeah, like if they made you say that once grandma. There's a problem. Yeah, it's not Nana It's not a Nana no no mom. Yeah, like no no Yeah, it's too ethnic It's too rubbish for sure. GGs. Wap. Gop, that's what my mom is. GG, yeah.

Mom-mom pop-up. Really? She's so sick, yeah. That's nice. Yeah, mom-mom pop-up and it's fucking swag. And I also think changing from mom-mom-mom-pop to something unique is because they have a connotation to it. Like with their history, like you know,

you don't wanna name somebody and it reminds you of like a next girlfriend or something. Yeah. So you gotta switch it up. I'd gladly inhabit pop up I have all minds just dude. He would like give us beer when we're kids. He's the fucking man It was but it was more and Budweiser's if you're my parents left you like you'll go drink a beer dude Yeah, I'm like fuck you. How old are you 14 nice? You just give you beers. Yeah, let's go. Let's party right now I think I'll do that. I think I'll give children beer you have to

You feel like go get me a Yeah, just be like yeah, just On that I'll do for sure With me, please hang out with me do my brother you see around to the end tables during like house parties Yeah, and just chug all the wine and one night we stayed we showed the same bed one night He just woke up like exercise throwing up hot red blood which I thought he was fucking dying so I'm screaming Boot and red table wine. Yeah, not knowing how to drink as a kid Everywhere is so fucking there was always dudes that would like pillage house parties like there was people to have a party

Then there'd be like four kids who would come and like steal all the parent stuff and just leave yeah, yeah happen a lot There weren't that many put a reason that you pillaged you up We used to steal that you really what you take DVDs DVDs family pictures smoke alarms remote controls You like wait, why you had all system? Yeah, I'm not proud of it. Yeah, it's troubled past We fucking no no, no fucking man one time we got caught and we put it all on a big black garbage bag and like through it On the road and drove back on the lawns classic wopster. We got to get rid of this fell off the truck mom wait were these

Were these family like your friends? No like a kid will have a party at their parents house. Oh, yeah. Just kill each everything. Gotcha. My, uh, um, um, for Decker's, at those, Oh, burn up a Decker was just absolutely disrespect. My brother would go to the district back.

They took her in up a Decker. It pinched a fucking loaf that pinched it. They dropped the number deck at my known as not in the kitchen. What you see? What the fuck is smoke amongst? Yeah, dude, I knew someone who used to go to frat parties in the whole time, like walk around and try to find the stash because there'd be a knot of five somewhere.

You do that where you steal the taps off the cake. You go to the tap. You take the tap. Is there like 75 bucks? Rip the tap and you go keg you go to the tap you take the tap is there like 75 But yeah, so yeah rip the tap and you go find like you go to the bedrooms and someone have a knot of five You swipe it and fucking run who's that person my brother? He tried to steal a keg and he got fucking they were like get the fuck out of here my brother my other brother Kevin Like just got his ass kicked Tom was like

Yeah, it's good dirtball. Yeah, it's a good move. Finding the bag at a frappardian stealing it is. Yeah, I never even considered that. Oh, it's great. He would just get hammered and be like, I'm gonna go grab, we go grab 350 bucks right now. He found a dude laying one time.

I risk, man. Yeah, that's a real house of dudes that want to jump. It's suicide by frapp, yeah. That's's all how to do that want to jump a guy. Suicide by fret. Yeah. That's suicide by for every year. Don't go on your dentist. There what?

Yeah, true. Yeah. Yeah, he did. His final hurrah was pretty nice where he just got naked at a party. He doesn't remember any of this. He got naked, which is munching the leaves off of plants. He's pretending to be a dinosaur. Had to wake up from just alcohol.

Jesus Christ. Christ. It is funny. That's Had to wake up from just alcohol. Jesus Christ. Christ. All right. That is funny. That's the problem. That's very funny. That's the problem with when you're very drunk and you're like, I know this is funny.

Yeah. You know, he was totally right. You wake up and you're like, so embarrassed to be like, fuck that is hilarious. You get naked in a party and you're like, fuck that's funny. You're munching the trees at a party naked is. That don't mustman chaos. Oh, fuck yeah. There's no way your body breaks.

You might have been spitting out. He might have been spitting out. Yeah. I hope he was spitting out. Might have spit up. Yeah, or just real quickly while no one was looking a little slight of hand. Puh. Puh.

I think everyone, I don't think anybody took their eyes off him. I don't think the party went back to normal at any point. True. I'm sure there were shrieks. You can't to normal at any point. True. I'm sure there were shrieks. You can't get naked at a party and it's not a gag. No one likes anyone. Yeah, I remember open mics people would do that. Really?

Yeah, I remember there's some of the good, good fellows. Remember that? Oh, you're right. They had it. That was a fun gag. They would get their dick and ass out. Yeah. Two years later, they were like sexual partners.

You're being... In sensitive. Yeah, yeah. You were in sensitive. Yeah, that whole squad was sus. I like to get them I bet they like come higher them and have them stand in the back like a mortal combat. Now higher them now Yeah, just to stand back just totally stirring it would be that's a yeah That'd be nice and then occasionally point to one of them and go do a bit. Do you want minute? And go back to your set, and you see how fucking bad that was.

Get off the stage. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Yeah, they were wild, bros. They were having fun. Everyone was having fun. Everyone was having fun. Dude, I was knowing I was thinking

about recently grinding at parties. Yeah, of course. Walk up to a party, stranger. Grab their stomachs and just fucking hump them. That was so normal back in the day. And everyone would be like, and their friend would be like, yes, or she would fucking be like, yeah, you're good. The other one. Most times, it'd be like, yeah. And then you get, wow, wow. You, what? I don't know, she could probably believe that. But this one girl had a basement where it was just dungery fire every Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. Humph in the shit out of your girl. Listening to E.I.

Dude, this wasn't her. Up in New College. I'd in bars and Philly. Like when I was in college, it was totally at least like sophomore year. It was not weird to like walk up to strangers and try to get your grind on. Yeah. It was totally normal. Yeah. And then it just one day. Yeah. The last totally normal. Yeah. And then it just one day. Yeah. The last few people walked into like an absolute industrial fan on that. Yeah.

It's like beat up by the cops. Yeah. But yeah, that was back in the day. That was like, did they still grind? Does anybody grind? I'm sure the kids are still on it. Kids like face each other and jump up and down now. Yeah.

And then they jump up and down and go. Yeah. Well, it's a different type of kid, you know. Yeah. Well, it's like, ravers, ravers, there's jump up. I think they grind. I think they grind. And now they do like, mystical Madonna hands,

I think anything. Yeah. There you go. It's pretty nice, Sean. Sean was dancing last night in the green room. He worked there, he was. He were. Yeah.

You got angry last night, I liked it. He's got good moves. Sean has great moves. He does have that Italian fire in him when he drinks a little. Yeah. Yeah, I was that angry You get angry you were angry. You were angry. I was angry Italian's drinking true Respect yeah, I'm very nice Like a fall from in their head every Rome declines

There's a height when you dance in the green room, little packs from honor, then you get out there. The vandals are at the gate. The vandals have arrived. Damn. That was nice. Me and Sean had a nice weekend. What'd you guys do? Crap city. Oh yeah, I was like Crap city, Crap city, Crap city. The new hours.

Oh please. It's so good. Oh please. Let's go. I hadn't seen a lot of the vandals. I was like, oh, the new hours. Oh, please so good. Oh, please I hadn't seen a lot of it. I was I went to Matt's Thursday show and then watched From the balcony dude from the fence. I was so nervous. I was like you killed it's all fucking crap. You killed No, it was awesome. It's awesome

Yeah, the new stuff's wonderful. It's getting there. I'm having fun. I have like having a lot of fun, dude. I I saw I Spied a guy in the crowd this weekend. I was just like bullshit. I was literally I forgot what I was talking about So I started talking to this guy was like well, how you doing man? He looked up at me. He's like good And I it just caught me totally off car. He's like 35 year old do with braces And I just fucking start laughing. I was like you have fucking braces. Yeah, I lost it. The old braces are Oh my god, it's a fucking killed my my like close friends dad got braces when he was like I'm not kidding 55 And it was like holy

That's like getting divorced at 70. It's like just let your dust go. Yeah, man Yeah, I mean that's all theory of that's like like higher private eye if you're 50 year old Husband gets braces. It's like get a private eye right also. There's a vis line. You can get clear braces Oh, that's not what I was saying at least how fucking poor is awesome and vis a lot dude it fucking maybe I couldn't stop laughing It's gotta be some yeah, cuz a great regular braces are probably like 35 hundred and then vis lines like five grand So yeah, it was a budget. Yeah, it was a budget. The man was working with a budget. I kept telling him like, bro, when you lick your teeth, my god dude, wait, that is a nice feeling. You get your favorite color sports team. Yeah. The black and yellow. Every other tooth.

I should get braces when I get my facial surgery. Yeah, for sure. It's awesome. Get on this, get like, you know, people get like fake prescription glasses. Yeah. Just get on this. Totally unnecessary braces.

Hairy, carry glasses. Hairy glasses. Dude, if you rocked unnecessary braces, that would be kind of a flex. If you just kept braces on like a grill for the rest of your life. Dude, yo. We thousand to college kids would be getting braces. kind of a flex. If you just kept braces on like a grill for the rest of your life. Dude, yo. Thousands of college kids would be getting braces because you... Yes.

We're gonna pull it to my spots. We reached it. Let's head over to the Patreon. Let's go. Goodbye.