Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 500 - Inside Out (feat. David Jolly, Lemaire Lee, & Shawn Gardini)

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Jolly on Instagram @MrDJolly Support Lemaire Andy and Nate @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Support Shawn @ https://www.patreon.com/TSUAVE Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Optimum Noctis at The Creek and The Cave in ATX on July 2 @ https://www.creekandcave.com/events/optimum-noctisvb6dfszg51bdq3z3wnu4p Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Wutz Gudd. Episode 5 million. Lets go. Here's to 5 million more. We got David Jolly (unc) on the cast this week. Sadly Big Unc Shang is outta town on a bizniss trip, but Protect our Parks just released today so peep that (after u peep this of course). As per usual, Matt held it down in spectacular fashion for ep 5 milly - god bless our unc. Please enjoy. God bless you all. Go to https://liquiddeath.com/drenched to shop for Liquid Death now!  Visit thefreezepipe.com and use code DRENCHED for 10% off your order Visit www.babbel.com/drenched for 55% off your babbel subscription!

Fucking bro fire up fuck. I hate it If you got the balls to do it just stay with them hostiles, you know, no way I think I'm trying to get a little club. Do you sleep in the club? I think we're trying to get I'm trying to get molested No, no way Molested is not even worst-case scenario at the hospital Chopped up to death is the worst you might get like gingivitis or something I thought the best was surprise up the surprise. Yeah, you know you get a surprise suck at the hospital. Would you be excited? I? Wouldn't wake up

What if it's a dude named George from Ohio with a nice He got a nice stache though, you know? Although, I wouldn't know, I'm playing possum. If somebody was laying in wait to surprise Suck Your Dick in a hostel, it's probably phenomenal. Yeah, it's probably amazing. It's probably crazy. This guy's going to sleep when we get up here. It'd be like getting bit by a mosquito. It'd be over before you knew it.

You'd just hear him buzzing your ear bags. This guy's going to sleep when we get up here. It's like getting bit by a mosquito. It'd be over before you knew it Just hear him buzz in your ear base David Jolly welcome to the motherfucking podcast mama we made it Episode 694 yeah, we're locked in Hell yeah, do my fucking wife just go right before dude. She has like an internal clock right before I start the podcast She'll call me be like when's your high school reunion? I'm like I don't You going I don't know I even know it was coming up. She's apparently doing some sort of girl math You gotta show love that shit. You gotta show up to the reunion. Yeah, you got it You got a lot of gold chain to chain to I like slap one of my teachers

I'm talking about I'm gonna wear satin gloves and just slap the staff you gotta wear like a cape with that motherfucker too so you can swing it around I should go like a cane monocle you gotta turn your play button into a chain the YouTube play button into a chain Patreon award I'll put that on the top of the cane Yeah, rainbow nutsack on the top of your cake and it's walking and it's a shame you guys didn't talk about buttholes more Who the idiot that there's plenty of opportunity out there. How's your position at Walmart? I'd be a real dick. I can't wait to my next really. Oh, I'm being Walmart Clarence. Clarence. For real. I'd be a real dick. I can't wait to my next reunion.

Oh, I'm being a real dick. I've never been to one. My 10 year one's coming up next year. You gotta go. You gotta buy a gold chain too. Drop a flex bomb. You gotta wait till like 20. You gotta wait till 20 to go back.

10's lit. Yeah, because 10's. Cause everybody's still young at 10 though. No, but 10's all the dudes who never let go. Yeah, yeah. They still talking about the Eagles and shit all day long. What they doing in preseason. Captain of the football team.

Remember the last year of high school when I fucking tore my leg? I would have made it, man. I would have made it, dude. I'm going to transition and go to my 10 year. That's not bad. That'd be sweet as fuck. Beautiful.

Same mustache. Yeah, keep the mustache, though. I might be a beautiful woman That would be pretty cool. Yeah, or just don't put any effort is just fucking show up as is but dressed really femme Yeah, you should have a million dollar gal Yeah. Beautiful ball cap. Look at the Lady Gaga at the Grammy. You gonna keep the mustache? Yeah.

Hell yeah. You gotta keep the mustache, dude. Yeah. Yeah, you might get a special out of it. Yeah. For real. I come find you and be like, dude, you are. You are so brave and beautiful.

You're an anomaly. Ain't that the right word, anomaly? Yeah. That's right, yeah. I saw a picture of Caitlyn Jenner the other day getting out of the car and they're like, yo, she gave up, she's back to Bruce. Really?

Yeah. You think she ever like, Heart of a champion? Heart of a champion, dude, Bruce won't die. Did she cut her balls off and shit? No. I don't think so. I think Caitlyn was adamant about keeping the dick.

I think she just wanted the upper decker. She's a lesbian, right? Caitlyn's a lesbian, so she needs a penis. Yeah,, I mean it makes sense to have a penis when you're a lesbian Yeah, yeah, why the built-in strap? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty smart building functional functional strap Yeah, she was dating some black dude. I think he was like an African prince like when when she first went over Cuz I remember like all of it all of the damn Pitches and shit. I was like, yeah, all of the damn pictures and shit I was like why's gotta be a black dude you know and that's what I was mad about man.

Entertain? He was something like he wasn't an entertainer but he was like somebody. He was a Nigerian prince. Yeah he might have been. I could be lying about the prince part but it was a Nigerian guy. He had an accent so I thought he was a prince. I was like damn I was just mad he was a Nigerian guy. He had an accent, so I thought he was a prince. He was African blue. Coming to America.

I was like, damn, I was just mad he was a black dude. That was a set up, dude. Yeah. Yeah, that was a goddamn man trying to stick it to us again. Yeah, I don't know, I never. That looks like a whole lady. Oh, also, she just wanted to dress up like a woman

and steal bang chicks. Yeah, that's pretty sweet They had it buddy right there that's that's her first love why you why you got a penis Love why you why you got a penis Damn that's crazy Taking down Caitlyn Jenner fresh off the press is like But do you think she took him down? No, you know, she's a lesbian. She poking buddy. Yeah, I think she poked She don't poke the girls like she they just look around her balls and shit You can only imagine

That's a wild ride. I think to go full circle and come back for who's the what's the name Chris? What was his ex-wife saying? Oh Chris Chris Jenner Christian if he comes back and slams takes down Christian or as a woman It's like hell Yeah, I think at that point. He would just become a black dude Armenian myth Pick one of his three beautiful daughters One of them's dating fucking Travis Barker that was a wild Show whatever Travis. I was no one I'm David Travis Barker Travis Scott to the rapper guy wait no no Parker the drum thing of the drummer dude Yeah, cuz they want that's like a 182. It was a weird mutation on the boyfriend pool. Yeah. Yeah, just having just the weirdest

You know, it's one a 57 year old drummer. You know one who was married to Scott. Nice the one that likes white guys Yeah, yeah, Kourtney likes yeah Scott Scott disick was the man dude everyone it's Disick, he had a lot. He had a good time on that show. Yeah. That's like the last time I really, the era of me watching TV, but that shit was amazing back then. Yeah, Disick ruled, dude. I, uh... You ever watch John Cena on Total Divas? No. There was a lady show, a lady wrestler show, and they talk about the Divas.

And John Cena would just come out and like lay down the law What beat them bitches? He wouldn't be there up. He would just lay down She'd have like a just like a cast iron pan off the off the stove on the Counter he'd come in see like take that off the counter put in dishwasher clean it immediately and then he'd just walk away Yeah, he had an iron clad prenup to Yeah, like a he had like a contract if you were even his girlfriend You had a sign that was like if he said so you had to get out of his house and you had to acknowledge The fact that you had no right to his property damn it was all he was he was like kicking a lady out on

VH1 damn, that's pretty sweet dude. It was pretty wild. Do he at least give him like $500 It was pretty wild do he at least give him like $500 That's what he says when she leaves. He's like, I'm sorry. You have to go. You can't see me Yeah, that's soft man, I mean it's kind of I get it I guess cuz he could have like a girl squadron in South at any time. Yeah, it's like what are you gonna do? He could be fucking Hugh Hefner. Yeah, you know, it was the man Yeah, he had a bunch of uh, he was like He was almost a pedophile They were 20 it's like oh yeah Catching it like 18 and she he was basically a pimp. Yeah, if you think about it

He was I gotta stop calling people pedophiles in the health hills That's a that's a mean age gap though, you know, but when you 80 I mean They you don't really got chicks your age, them hoes dead, you know? Oh, Bill Belichick's dating a 24 year old, you gotta let it go, dude. You gotta let it go. Old guys with money date young girls,

it's a part of the system. Old girls are supposed to, cougars are supposed to. Train young men. But that doesn't happen anymore because the age of women being hot has gone up. You know? It used to be like a 35 year old hot limit but now it's at like 45 so like now there's a whole generation of men being left behind. That's because they doing yoga nowadays. Wait so what do you mean the men are left? They're supposed to

older women from what I could see their prescribed role if they somehow become spinsters is to take a younger man and become their sexual Men who don't really get other ladies, you know Like the men who like who don't get chicks they age who are just left behind Ladies the Coney Bowl. Yeah, but now those the age since the age gap is going up Those ladies are still with the guys who get people You know okay? Well that would be a nice little program to be like if you don't get I just having ladies in there like 40s

Yeah, maybe some real horn balls like a possible shooter possible school shooters and just yeah That's a great idea yeah, yeah, so David dude, how you doing man? What's going on? What's happening man? Man, just chilling about to go back on the road, grinding, you know, everyday grind. At a show, bombing somewhere. I like the late night bombs. I go find them now. That's my new favorite hobby. Late night bomb? Like the late night mic somewhere where there's nobody there or just some angry comics. Yeah, that's where most of where like most of my most beautiful joke jokes come to life You know cuz they'd be so mad

Trill what your nasty comics in there like he's not even that funny. Yeah Then if I get them to smile or something, then I'm like, okay, I got some yeah sure if you can break through there Just yeah hatred of themselves Yeah, sure if you can break through there just yeah hatred of themselves Ten years ten years of every comics life like you know fucking Myself I don't understand people I gotta be honest dude. I was a hater. Yeah, everybody was evil creeps in yeah I try to stay positive though, man. You know I tried not to hate I like that you'll take over for a while once Recently

It was at the end of my Philadelphia when I started being evil I was like Hated them all yeah, yeah, I had a big I'd actually a huge change your heart this weekend. I saw the movie inside out, too What movie that is inside out is that Disney movie It's like the animated movie where like there's like a girl and then she has her emotions And they were like personified inside of her there's like mr. Angry. You know Mrs. Sorry fucking gopuff's calling me hold on one second Anger hey, can you just leave that outside? There's also one called anxiety in the new movie. There's one called. Thank you, sir No, I never I never seen that character. She knew huh so yeah So it's like there's a girl and her parents obviously have them too

And they're like going through some sort of like pressure-filled Situation and then like her emotions are like dictating her behaviors They're going like in the one story of her life and then like the interior story of what's going on in her head and those characters have a journey too. Did they reveal what caused her so much anguish? Oh so these are people that's in her head? Yeah. Oh so she's schizophrenic basically. Kind of. They're each one represent one emotion they all represent a singular emotion. Yeah like that lady the lady with the pixie cut that's joy blue is sadness green is envy red is mr

Angry, and then when they go over there there are two that's like anxiety I forget the little blue lady and there's on we or whatever the fuck that guy But the whole point of it, you know, I could talk about inside all we for a while, huh? Oh and we on that's like French for just being like kind of like gay and lazy Yeah, it's like that for just being like kind of like gay and lazy Yeah, it's like that voice of being like All girls got a little on we in them yeah, yeah But my point was the so I'm watching it at the end I want to give any spoilers for inside out to but the girls have a tough time because her friends are they're all like best friends and they're all like they throw in there starting

To go through puberty, which is you know I guess it's not necessary the story But they they're going to a different high school and she finds out right before they all go to hockey camp And she's like totally freaking out. I told me the little red guy turns to a period no No, no, no, he just falls out of her body. What the hell? But her anxiety takes over, it's like a new character. And it just starts ruining her life, trying to like protect her from this new environment. And in the very end she connects with her Joy. And there's like a scene where she's just like effortlessly playing hockey, like skating around.

And I was like, this is so beautiful dude. I need to reconnect with my Joy. I did it that night. Played hockey? No, I reconnected with my Joy. I did stand up. I reconnected with my true. I did it that night played hockey no I Did stand up I reconnected with my joy was very fun Yeah, they go out and just have fun doing a thing rather than being like I'm gonna fucking suck and forget all my stuff and everyone hates me Sound h-town yeah exactly I went out there and just had a good old time It's kind of weird how you can do that

I can just flip your mindset into being like this weird like I suck I shouldn't be here and being like dude Let me just try to make these people have fun the best I can that's part of entertainment Do I think yeah God forbid I have a little bit of fun myself and just think one positive thought my wretched life I try to be positive all the time man. Just because I mean life already shitty enough If you trick your brain and tell yourself like hey, man, I can really do this You know in reality you still like damn this shit gonna be hard as hell But if you just say you know what I'm gonna keep doing it keep doing it keep doing it keep doing it Yeah, dude. I'm telling you it's a must the

Become vanquished. Thank you by yourself in your own life is a very sad sad thing At any point here go Joshua. Oh, I was just going I was gonna drink it in a minute Oh, yeah I didn't have I think about that's been my greatest fear my whole life when you see someone who's been like internally completely vanquished And they're just like whatever man fuck this you're like a homeless Not a homeless has have been externally vanquished. Mm-hmm. I'm talking about just like you're just living you have all the stuff you need But you're just going through the motion you've lost some battle within yourself and you're just inherently like Dead on the inside. Yeah, exactly. Some people never find true joy though, so I guess that

might be one of the reasons why they, you know, feel vanquished. If they find that joy then maybe they can turn the corner and just be like, you know, you know what, it's gonna be all right. But some people just miserable. Sometimes you just gotta go ice hockey. Yeah, true. Sometimes you just gotta go play hockey at the rink by yourself, skate around. Well. She was it was tryouts for the Blackhawks, but yeah I've been thinking about that a lot. I'm like dude. I have to battle my fucking only and just Genuinely connect with my joy and have fun. I did it successfully in H town Yeah, dude, you should might have the best crowds or some of the best crowds i should say i heard they have the best butts yesterday huge butts It's almost like girls are entered like unconscious competition with each other what this was that you're the butts the bus

What a but oh the butts was that the improv in houston There i'm talking about you go out in the town and it's like oh yeah his ass everywhere women are eating i think like A thousand more calories a day Just easiest babes it's ass everywhere women are eating. I think like a thousand more calories a day Easily just easiest babes. It's like come on man. It's like that all in Texas. I was like god damn It's a lot of brisket going around They really using that brisket That was my first impression I came here in high school and I was like damn girls are bigger down. Yeah They were I was like 17. I'm like, these are women ham hocks. Yeah, yeah, I see like a blonde lady She's just this is before pogs. Yeah Houston was it was very very very thick city, but back in the Centaur days. Yeah

Houston's laid out weird because it's like you'll be in like an area and it'll be like laid out weird because it's like you'll be in like an area and it'll be like Bazillion dollar mansions and then like right across the street. It's just like Domino's It's so weird Houston like out of a movie man that place ain't a real does look like a movie set Yeah, drive around you're like it's real there. They're like 20 million dollar mansions, and you're like oh, yeah shopping center Maybe they'll be good food and you look in it's just like dominoes and a wishy-washy Yeah, what the fuck is this did Nate tell you his roach infestation story? He was giving over around here and he was driving his tell the guy who's like I'm about to go to Houston the guy Was like mad trumped up and then uh, he was like Houston. I you don't want to go out there. I hear it's bad

And they was like what do you mean like yeah, I heard there's a roach infestation and the guy was like Roach infestation more like a nigga infest He was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, When I see he talking about Trump, I'm gonna put some gas on that fire. I'm gonna give him his whole platform I want to see how far he gonna go With anybody who's someone could say the most horrible thing to me in an uber and I'll be like totally I was thinking the same I've had Lib attacks in ubers where they're like we passed a cemetery and I was like, oh look a cemetery He's like it's a bunch of old fucking conservatives buried dead. Oh my god, dude fucking relax. Yeah Liberals get nasty it is kind of like upsetting you I want Trump's family to die

Also, we should have abortions Give you a lot of money though. I don't care what nobody do man. Same. I don't get in all that Trying to stay out of the way I'm just trying to stay out of the way. I'm just trying to stay out of the way, you feel me? I just want to stay out of the way. I'm just trying to stay out of the way. That'd be a good party, stay out of the way party. Big stay out of the way.

What should we do with taxes? I don't fucking know. Just stand out of the way, man. Mind my business. Let's pay for these motherfucking projects and then let's stay out of the way. For real. I'm just trying to stay out of the way. Everybody on the wall the whole party.

Yeah, but then you stay out of the way and then some dude gets absolutely in the way. Yes. It's my To take over the web The party the boys and the girls are separate. He's trying to get the dance going. Yeah Trump and Biden's coming up Thursday yeah, I'll be going I'll be out of town That's pure entertainment discord. I might I don't know. I don't know what the fuck's gonna Yeah, like what's gonna come of it? I don't think there anything's gonna get done It's gonna be judged on like how who slammed who looks the least oldest. Oh who say the most fucked up shit

That's what yeah about right. I'm sabbatical. Yeah, you bought a cook. I want to see you. I want to see it sponsored by versus Before the fight is Logan Paul versus Jake Paul They're gonna make him wear his house a rest bracelet He should go out in the orange jumpsuit If you had an ankle monitor they have the camera would be on it the whole time the whole time President Trump is ankle monitor. He should come out the swing Come out to many me and that Be ran the country from inside the prison like a gang leader. Yeah. Yeah, it's about to happen. It's about He gets a pardon himself true yeah, I love America

You can do whatever you want you can like as long as you're like murder nobody or touching the kids You can basically do whatever you want to do. I think I'd argue you can like as long as you're like murder nobody or touching the kids you can basically do whatever you want to do I think I'd argue you can even do that Successful pedophiles who like Said it was a pedophile true that successful after you know true. I mean what about you use a crumble after the pedophilia I'm so waiting on Jared's comeback. He's He in the gym right now, you know Ten years is him like sniffing a Papa John's pizza big this is delicious. Yeah. Yeah, I poked up You know the guys he has to fight in jail a lot. It's probably all these right in protective custody

It's right fighting other pedophiles. Yeah, the pedophile pecking order must be nice in jail. Yeah, it's a lot of top shot Yeah, he's one probably the most famous in there true. He's got the most but then that people want to come for you just for Unless he in there with our Kelly is home. You know, I Kelly right now the jams in jail That's true. I Kelly's giving everybody hits everybody's gonna have a top drill. So I'm gonna get out. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, how long is our Kelly in jail for the rest of his life? Yeah, I think like a hundred years or some shit Oh, where do you go to jail in Florida? I think in Chicago in Chicago Chicago, but you know, he had protective custody, you know, yeah Yeah, you can't have our Kelly they'll have him out there like in T back singing other prison

There's videos of our Kelly singing in prison. Yeah. Like literally in jail, just like, whoo. What else you gotta do? The cage brave sings, brother. Yeah, for real, brother. And I know that's right. You know, he put out an album from jail, the I Amid It, like it came out like last year.

Is that true? Was that his album, actually? It was his album. And then they like took it down. Why'd they take it down? Because they were like, he can't make money from jail. Yeah, well they don't wanna make him money from nothing. They like took his royalties away Song are still like in jail like junk fucks still out. Well, those dudes have a million tracks stored up though

So yeah young thug is they all those rappers have like a thousand songs Yeah, it's like but they took like they like took our Kelly's music down I know they don't want to make it no money. They don't want him to be hot. If he's hot, they're gonna free him. Warner Brothers make it out of his money right now. Yeah, they gotta free the real, you know? Like they let Bill Cosby go. They did.

You think Bill Cosby was raping them chicks or they was just on Quaaludes? Don't get me started here. You think he was raping them though? I think so. But I thought he was just giving them Quaaludes. Everybody was doing Quaaludes. Everyone was doing Quaaludes.

I think it's about the timing on them though yeah, okay? It'd be crazy to do quite loose and wake up with your paintings around your ankles yeah No, do you want to do quite loose? You know that equal I don't know for that I mean it's like did everyone conspire against him possibly, but I think whenever there's like 75 allegations a good chance that you did it You know well wait one now not to defend Cosby not to be like he shouldn't be in jail He's not but I mean he he's not in jail because they use the deposition to put him in jail that they can't use So he could probably sue Philadelphia and get like a bunch of money for that. He's me like in Westchester. No, he's out of jail

He's just free. He's at his house. No, but yeah. Yeah, and then also I feel like everybody, he had a system. There was a lot of people helping him rape people who didn't get in trouble. Damn.

So it was like an underground railroad of rape? Like people would lead girls to Cosby's room and then he'd be like, here's a drink, you know? Like that's my thing. Oh, well that still puts him in jail because he's top of the pyramid. Yeah. If you're the head of the organization.

Yeah, Rico. Yeah, if you're the head of the Quaalude organization, you're going to jail. He better than me because I'm telling on everybody. I'm getting some of this time taking off. Look, my auntie was bringing me bitches. You know what I mean? All these hoes was bringing bitches.

For real. He got off though. What did he do, like five years or something? Three to three years. At the most, yeah. Damn. Then they let him out because of COVID, so he was chilling at the crib.

No, he was in, no, they let him out because- He was in there during COVID. Yeah. They let him out because of the deposition. They used the sealed deposition to put him in jail. Yeah. And he was telling jokes and stuff in there too. I remember they were talking about.

He made a special before he went to jail. Netflix had to shelve it. Damn. There's a special called 77. Aging like fine wine, dude. It's aging like fine wine, dude. Oh, he's going back on tour, I think. That's probably some good joke.

He better. He a damn good comic book. He's so funny. He like one of the ghosts, you know? Yeah. This one's gonna call 85. That's how old he is? He has to be 85. I, he like one of the goats, you know, yeah, this one's gonna call 85 That's how old he is. He has to be 85. I thought he was like a hundred He's starting to look like Beetlejuice

Yeah, he like Don't bother me. Don't bother me We don't bother me If you look though, he been ugly a long time He's kinda looked like that the whole time Yeah, he ain't just wake up ugly yesterday. He's been a long time though. He's kinda looked like that the whole time. He ain't just wake up ugly yesterday. He's been a good runner. Look, we took his smile. Yeah, they took his joy.

They took his fucking smile. I hope he drop a special and he cursin' on this one. That'd be beautiful. True. I was in motherfuckin' jail! Yeah! These niggas was makin' soups in his motherfuckin'. That'd be great.

Yeah, he's a comedy tour. Started last year. Hell yeah. September 24th. I love that video, dude. The video where they ask you something and you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did they ask?

That's great. I forget. He was walking into court. He was walking into court and he just like, I think somebody was back there. They made a meme out of it. He dodged a question. He was walking in the court and he just like I think somebody's He literally dash equation I can't remember what the heck they say but they ask him something They ask him a personal question about something personal You can't keep being funny dude. You can't stop being funny.

Oh my god. Might be the goat. Yeah. Well that's surprising R Kelly's getting a life sentence. I mean again I don't know exactly what he did but I think it was like he was just being hella freaky. I think it was uh. He was. Like back freaky. I think it was he was yeah like back in the days I don't know how he beat it child. Okay child sexual yeah like so Sex tapes remember the sex tapes. Oh, he had the original one got off for that He married it like a leo was like 14 when he married her 16 16 How old is he being like 23 24?

Yeah Fair enough, you know, 27. Fair enough. He's like picking her up from school. Oh, they gave him 20 years. I thought they gave him more time than that. Like, I thought they gave him more time. He's probably going to get less time. He's probably going to get out. Well, dude, it's weird. It does suck for those guys because the early 90s, like, I remember the beginning of Belly. I always think about it when DMX was like,

she's 16, she can suck my dick, but we can't fuck and like nobody had a problem with that Yeah, everyone watches belly and everyone watch belly and they're like I watched a freak documentary on a hulu Everybody was being crazy in that thing freak Nick. What's freaking it was like a Freak Nick, please. That's the greatest shit It was in the 90s. It was like in Atlanta and it was just everybody in the streets and just bitches selling pussy like $30 spring big it was good time literally just dude slapping it was it was a good time it was crazy oh yeah this was like in the 90s yeah they had something Daytona called BCR Daytona

Beach Florida it was just like freak neat I remember when I was a freshman in college that shit was nuts Like literally people were making pornos with them big-ass VHS I know a whole bunch of them when they got what is it called a VCR? Yeah Yeah, I know a lot of them with the time on it like big harry cooters Yeah, that was that was uh That was the era of like bum fights you could like tape how much people fighting people like right on it's back, dude They got one on Philadelphia Instagram where they've got uh the kids Kinza was fighting

Oh, yeah, I've seen that yeah Matrix they're moving Oh, yeah, I think I saw someone get like knocked out white dude knocked out some guy like a wheelchair tape and chainsaw Winner gets a methadone from the other guy Battlebots would rule that Kansas and that's a crazy fucking place man. Yeah, it's really fucked up Anybody who live over there you like a regular human being you deserve whatever you get me That's that's I went up like I was riding through that has some shows and Jersey But my buddy living Philly and he took me to that over there I was like these people are the walking dead. Yeah, it's fucked up. It's really bad

And this goes on for it's like pretty big stretch of area. Big. The best is when you catch it at like 7 a.m Right when the sun's coming up When they're all going to work No for real dude, it's just like it's just like a dude like walking across like a barren lot Just like dragging a broken shopping cart first thing in the morning getting after it You're like god damn, dude Can't stop yeah, I gotta get my scrap before it get too hot smoke yourself

You gotta stay true to the game Place there's this place in Kingston called one pound cheese steaks But is right there and if you order a cheese steak the homeless guys run up to you like My brother was passing through there it was passing through there and It's really funny his dog ate a mushroom chocolate He didn't know he had one sitting on his dashboard He didn't think about it and he like ran in to get there's a apparently like a hoagie place like a bond me place Yeah in the heart of it. That's apparently really good

Yeah, so he ran in to get himself a hoggy and he goes up And he like he comes in and sees his dog on the dash his dog is a tiny little thing she's on a dashboard And he's like fuck dude comes out. He's like he like walks up to a 7-eleven, and he's like fuck dude so he comes out and he's like uh and he like walks up to a 7-eleven and he's like Gives it. I think I'm baking soda It starts like feeding it to his dog to make his dog throw up and dude all the dudes are like nodded out And they all saw this and got activated. They're like you're fucking killing that dog Dickheads my dog ate chocolate go help me go get and he's like dude They all just activate it turned into like the ambulance for a dog.

And they got him water. And like they instantly turned into like a rescue squad, like a crack team rescue squad. And he was like, dude, all those- He was in the pop me place and he was like, what are you gonna do with that dead dog? You gotta give him like two dollars after that, man. You're using that dead dog. Yeah, dude, he was like, dude, it was the craziest, because first of all, they attacked me. They were like, you're killing a dog. He's like, fuck off, get out of here, mind your own business. Hey, dude. He was like dude. It was the craziest because first of all they attacked me They're like you're killing a dog. He's like fuck off get out of here mind your own business. You're killing you

He's like and I'm saving it and dude He was it was like they all just like hive mind it out and we're like do do do do do Baking soda that shit was highly beautiful. They just need some they need something to do man Yeah, give those guys an agenda job. Yeah, I'm working the vet true. True. I'm all about the squire system for them Squire system is nice. Go down and beg you will be my squire You gonna knight them though you gotta be like a sword. Eventually they can stay off the junk Yeah, I would knight them. You gotta earn me. And then they could walk Yeah, they could walk in kind of like knight around they can go to their old stomping ground

They'd have to wear armor so they couldn't inject Check this out. I'm uninjectable This can be you too. I mean you could yeah, I don't know what the fuck they're gonna do the new mayor is cleaning it up Yeah, no, they they got a finally. Thank God lady mayor. No nonsense black lady She's a no-nonsense kind of center aisle. Yeah, we're life. What's kind of trash is that a different city in Philadelphia or They should just burn that whole area Brother let me tell you that's why they're all on the junk So then all the places are cheap But now they're trying to get rid of all the plate Pete the junker so they can sell the cheap places now

They can make or the rich. Yeah, here's the thing though. They go. This was like all in orchestrated No, it wasn't you can't orchestrate sixes. I mean they did give the government did give people basically But I think that's more be opportunity striking man. I think it's organized it's from it's not like us doing it. It was just a lobbyist came up with tax benefits that other countries are using to invade us secretly. What do you mean? Like a...

Are you talking about like farming all the jobs out and stuff? All the empty buildings are owned by China. All the empty like big apartments structures. Are they? Yeah. Now I'm pissed. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I think we'll probably take them. But yeah, Yeah. Now I'm pissed. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I think we'll probably take them. But yeah, thanks China, that's ours. Dude, we've already been invaded. We're done. You think China's totally infiltrated? China's definitely in here. Mexico, China, Africa. You think Africa's infiltrating us?

Yeah. Dude, Africa is infiltrating us. Africa's infiltrating us. Isn't China infiltrating Africa though? Yeah, and that's why they're infiltrating us. Do what are you talking about China? Conspiracy shit, are you for real? I've heard China is like way China owns most of Australia too. I know that's truth. Yeah, so like their plans working Yeah, dude, I guess I don't know. So what's their plan though? They just like well make fake stuff even fucking place

And like fake verse engineer stuff, and then they just buy real estate all across the world and fake Jordans Bioweapons fake Jordans Gucci belts yeah, T. Mousheen They make everything yeah, I do I'm telling you man I'm not convinced China's gonna take over at all No, I don't to volatile duty cool. It collapses on itself every like 500 years Well, I think the Chinese system is a system. We're trying to imitate slowly over here You talk about like super facial recognition and all that's racial facial racial recognition Shitty looking white guy You heard of his voice when you go in the game. You never heard of it. You ain't never heard of it.

That would be so funny. He'd stop and be like, was that it? Did I just create that in my head? I ain't trippin', I ain't smokin' weed today. For real. They don't have those, I don't hear like the ding dong anymore when you walk through places. The world changed.

Don't see Bulletproof Glass. It's probably done in the bulletproofs. Well, Bulletproof Glass has to stop. I mean, I don't think we see bowl proof glass. It's probably the bullet holes. Well, well, that's a stop I mean, I don't think we see it out here. You don't know because it's slowly going away in Philly I've only seen it and like you don't see it as much see Chinese food stores Yeah, I mean they're they still you know, they still hold it down behind the glass, but I'm telling you it's going away How are gun laws in Philly like can you legally carry a gun? Yeah, like you can get a gun permit pretty yes Yes, can still carry It's funny. It's one of the questions is like do you smoke weed and you just have to be like no

You get a gun permit actually really easily There's like a play that's my wife used to work in the gun permitting place Yeah, so she would like take the questions and all that stuff and it's not really not that hard I want to get one so bad again get you can get one so easy here Oh, yeah, you know gotta wait three weeks. Yeah, and you can um like you you can have it on your hip Yeah, it could be by the wild west side. Yeah, that's how I carry my gun on a hip Mm-hmm never let her sit down Yeah, I'm gonna try it out cuz I feel like you would be like I'd be way more confident if I had a gun on me

At all time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and people see that you got a gun So they like don't fuck with that dude, you know true That'll keep a lot of people away from you or if like you think my new stuff's not going well. Just like You guys don't know if this doesn't go well tonight, I'm gonna use this We gotta talk about you guys don't know if this doesn't go well tonight. I'm gonna use this One of y'all walking out of here that would be the ultimate joke, and then you just like fucking you pull the trigger There's a stick with a bang Fuck I don't even like doing this anymore You can't do that the mothership they'd get you

I've seen some wild shit out there not real wild, but like people get in the audience I've never seen that before I've seen that like audience. Yeah, I can wow I would crumble instantly if I got out of the audience I'd be like I'm sorry guys. I don't know what I'm doing Just start freaking out of the audience. I'd be like I'm sorry guys. I don't know what I'm doing Start freaking out of it Rethinking your life. What do you guys you want to talk about? Just get in there and sit down like we're Sally Jessie Raphael right now Do you remember that show? Yeah Donna here was the best out of here the best Fast forward to the end of 2024 think of your goals

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It's crazy. Yeah, yeah. Elijah Muhammad. And he just attacks a Jewish lady. It's fucking the craziest shit I've ever seen. That was good. That was an America was America, baby. Dude, it was crazy.

They may have a KKK guy on Oprah's original talk show. Probably. They have like a KKK guy yelling at them. I think he was on Jerry Springer too. That's how you KKK do it. They had a KKK guy doing the circuit? Yeah, this books called don't trust them Tony the Donahue dude, can you pull up the which we call it Elijah Muhammad on Donahue? It's Steve if you just even see a little bit He is like he for real is a great speaker you gotta give him that you know a lot of people don't like him

The honorable Elijah Muhammad yeah, Elijah Muhammad. They buried this video, dude Well, you know one about to see that dude Mr.. Fair can yeah, Mr.. Ferric I said yeah, Ferricon Dude he for real. I saw a top video. That's right. Yeah, either one of those two. I believe this is the one Who decides who Terry is now? I think this might be a second time, but either way I want I'm who is he and why is he saying all those things? I love the fucking arm the internet. Yeah, yeah, it's amazing place Yeah, so it's dumb shit. I'll go to 1990. I think this is it

Phil and he like comes on here is the minister Louis Thuracon and his second visit to our dude, and Here is the minister Lewis Thuracon in his second visit to our program and you should also know that Hello brother. He has asked for and we have consented to a couple of things one. There are approximately 25 brothers and sisters In our audience and we were pleased to oblige. Jesse Jackson. You also asked us for an opportunity to give a... He was like, I'll come in and I gotta bring all my friends.

...of our program. I think I seen Al Sharpe. That was Al Sharpe in the night. Oh, Al Sharpe. I like that. He was fat. Yeah, he was fat as shit. Call him J.J. For real. He was vegan.

Oh yeah, go to the lady, the white lady, and ask her no questions. Mr. Farrakhan, you're entitled to these airwaves. They belong to the... ...not prejudice. I feel moreiced right now than I've ever felt Not against black, I am not prejudiced against black people Some of my best friends are black people I am Oh, she's saying that's a whole lot That was fat as shit, look at that

She's all fat out I don't want to speak Who wants to talk to her? What do you mean you feel more prejudice right now? Because the way he's saying he feels... What he's saying right now, I mean, I feel that you are prejudice towards white people. Yeah. Whites come together, dude. Excuse me, excuse me.

I think it's like he said, it might be a fear or misunderstanding that you have. Because what fear has he put or what? Has he actually said here today that makes you feel prejudiced? He said that we think that they're inferior I think it's partly part of your own complex that you have to get over because I don't feel you're inferior I have nothing against black people Excuse me, this is the situation Says I have not done this the white anytime you see a black guy with a bow tie glasses in the park

He's about to cook. Yeah, you might have a situation. We are in now What I'm saying is this when that Turner stood up you all rejected him you killed him We know it's gonna be stood up. you all rejected him. You killed him. When Harker's got me stood up, you all rejected him, enslaved him. He died a broken heart. Now what I'm saying is this. Your fathers have put us in the condition we are in. And today, you are profiting from what your forefathers

have done. Now, now, my grandchildren are going to be raised and your children are going to say to them, they have not done to them because you are the ones who have you are the ones who are gonna do to my Grandchildren what they're going going to experience if the situation continues now what I'm saying is this when we talk about America falling what we are saying is this if you all want to control America then we must have a land base that we control you all cannot continue He does. He got a loss of track. You're talking about black nationalism. Black people getting their own like stage. They want to end the stage.

Yes. It's really funny though. I know that's right. Crowd was very, people didn't hold back at all back then. He was about to get me activated. That was back with like, uh, What's the name? What's the name?

What's the name from all in the family named Bob Barker? What was the name? What's the name? What's the name from all in the family? Bob Barker? What was his name? Bob Barker? Remember Bob? All in the family? No, that's Archie Bunker. Archie Bunker. That's when America was America, you know? Say how the fuck you feel. Fuck it, you know? They tried to remake Archie Bunker.

They did like a live couple years ago. It wasn't the same. Oh yeah. Oh I I remember that that was trash Yeah, what is Archie but what show all in the family? Okay? Yeah, that was a funny show man if you like that it's the same as the George Jefferson show He's like I didn't know you guys were boy We got to get these Negroes out of our house. His best friend was, one George Jefferson's best friend?

I think his wife. Yeah, and then that was a spin-off of that. Yeah. George and Weezy. Yeah. You know what they did? George was definitely racist. What'd they do?

They moved on up. Yeah, that's right. To the upper east side of the mountain. I know that's right. Yeah. I know that's right. To the apartment in the sky. Oh my my oh my

About my bad thing that happened in Indy what'd you do where I was ashamed of myself for Thinking that the African American youths were up to something devious and then it turned out they were Skeet guys there's dudes that came up to us and shy sees after the show and indeed with like Playboy bunny tattoos on their cheeks and stuff like that. Maybe they were like a gay gang maybe Yeah, that's a real they scared me yet then he followed me on Instagram He said he wanted to follow me on some innovative shit But then he wanted to type in his Instagram handle and I was like no I'll type it in yeah And then he was like I'm not gonna steal your fucking phone And then I was like alright, and I gave it to me and steal my phone

And then they got distracted by the cyber truck trail and they both went oh my god That shit is so hard on my soul True and they both went. Oh my god. That shit is so hard on my soul So then we screwed away and looked at his Instagram and his Instagram is all just him with a bunch of phones being like everything But it's still my you got saved by Elan, yeah, Elan did save me Yeah, then a beautiful test some shiny cyber trucks black kids He sent down a beautiful Tesla truck. He sent down some shiny cyber trucks and some black kids in the shysties. They couldn't control themselves. They said it was so hard.

Them kids, they scary as shit with them shystie mask on. Yeah, I felt bad because I was like, they're just probably good kids trying to smoke weed. And then he didn't steal my phone so I was like, damn, I'm an asshole. That's how hunters are like. I wouldn't have felt bad. Anybody with a shystie mask, I'm going to look at you crazy. Yeah, if you can't see, if you're like purposely hiding your face Yeah, unless they're just scared of the dreaded coronavirus. They probably were protected. They were standing six feet away What's the body?

Makes it that an incantation to keep it away this over at the club told me it was like a Crew crew dudes that hang out and they call themselves the playboys. It's pretty tight. That's pretty sweet Yeah, the shy sees I'm for that like just you can't cover your entire face outside anymore. Yeah, well they had the face shown, but they went down to like a chill mode They could have went back up You know when Power Rangers open their masks?

They hit you with open masks. Then again though. I guess it looks kind of cool. It is pretty cool. With the open face? Matt Scheiste dude? Going to creep nodes. What kind of a teardrop tattoo are you going to get?

I don't know. You gotta get a hammer. You better. Hammer, that'd be kinda nice. Or just like a nail. Maybe a little small crucifix. Dude, let's go, oh, right here. Oh, you gonna get it in the middle again? That's pretty sweet. Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna get a ice cream cone. Yeah. Like Gucci. Yeah, with a lightning bolt on the ice cream cone. Yeah. That's pretty sweet. I could probably get one small face tat if I really wanted to, but it's like, I don't know. wanted to but it's like I don't know.

Where would you put it? Probably right in my chin right here. Yeah. Show like a little soul patch. Put like a little mouth down there. Thing like this to show everybody. That's pretty cool. Yeah I don't know.

That's a shame. I'm sorry you felt badly about that. You did do, you know, you did prejudge those guys. I just wanted to get off my chest. Although I don't really like to hand my cell phone to a stranger. Yeah. Me neither. Any stranger like let me see your phone.

I'm like I'm good man. I'm not doing that. Yeah. There's no reason to do that. I'm like I'm good man. I'm not really like to hand my cell phone to a stranger. Yeah, me neither. Any stranger like, let me see your phone. I'm like, I'm good man. I'm not doing that. Yeah. There's no reason. I got a fear of somebody running away. And just like, they be faster than me.

True. That's a lot. Then you can see them smoking you as you're chasing them. Or they just like turn around and you're running after them. They just like charge you and beat your ass. True. That would just be... Yeah, by a cell phone? Yeah. That's an iPhone X, motherfucker. I have a recurrent fantasy about getting like mugged and just being so cool, but like, dude, you can take it all.

I don't fucking want to take your shit. Like a movie. You beat him up, then you throw it at him. You drop him. You're like, huh, I don't even need this. Thank you. Oh, you just give him your phone? After you beat him up. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I don't know. I'd feel bad about that. You can have it. Thank you After you beat him up

Yeah, I don't know I feel bad about that you can have it. I don't think I'm gonna worry about that anymore though I don't have a lot of uh guys who could rob me. I think yeah get robbed by like a quiet well-to-do Asian neighbor Fuck dang these motherfuckers again Shit. It's an old Indian couple walking past me. Oh fuck. Dang these motherfuckers again. Yeah. Ranjeet's gonna steal my phone. I've always wanted to live in like, there's like areas in Jersey that are like heavily Indian. Central Jersey. Yeah.

Sort of where I grew up, yeah. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah. They're pretty racist towards them. Sean grew up around the Bollywood boys. Yeah. But how they feel about crazy ass white boys? Indians?

Yeah. I roll with a lot of Indians, American Indians, but oh like Indian guys their parents I don't know not native Americans like you know we did we did with the red dot only scope Switch the feather for the dot Computer that's yes if yeah, I think it made of America how bad their house smells a lot when you're a kid Cuz you don't know any better Indian guys love down like the odor I don't like the odor Indian guys love white guys though. Yeah Second-gen Indians move here and become bros immediately they do bro out pretty pretty hard although third-generation Indians become black eyes

Bro out pretty hard pretty hard. Although third-generation Indians become black guys Guyanese people from like Guyana I got a buddy from Guyana. Yeah, they all love the Miami heat for some reason Where is Guiana? Where is Guiana? I think it's a Caribbean island if I'm not mistaken Yeah, it might not be in the Caribbean. It might it's in it might I don't think is in the Caribbean. It might be like Almost Asian. Yeah, dude, but I think it's they look brown like thank you come again like that kind of I got you But they speak with a with like a with a with like a Patois accent French That looks like Africa right by France. No, it's near America It was by friends. No, it's near Got you she

Some of them black like this here, but is some of them like Indian like, you know, I got you right, you know, dude Yeah, that's where all the okay. That's where all the boats went brother. Yeah Yeah Yeah, I would love to be from one of those tiny little countries the glory of kuiwana Yeah life must be better over there though, you know, you probably you got to work that hard like what's important to you I don't know if that better. No, dude I've talked to guys over from like Pakistan and they're like dude If you like if you come to America and you're not killing it You might as well move back to Pakistan because like you're like if you're not gonna have shit you can go to a place

You don't have to work. Yeah, you go to package. I got a chill in Pakistan He's like when you're poor this guy was explaining to me. He's like I came here like my son just got murdered by a Puerto Rican dude He's like I'm sucked. Yeah, it's really sad fucking Puerto Ricans man. Yeah, yeah You know watching you got stabbed by a Puerto Rican man can't come to here You can't come to America with Arab pride because you will get stabbed Possibly yeah, come with the Arab arrogance, you know Come with that arrogance. You're getting fucking ganked He was saying he was like dude if you're not doing well over here

He's like you might as well as go back to like in just chill and be poor in another country He's like it's ways ever you know I mean I guess it's not like different poor It's not like object power. It's not like you're going like abject poverty But he's like you can you know he's like if you're not gonna work you might as well go chill So you can kind of chill harder in the fucking hot hot desert no But I mean you find a nice Lush Valley though Put me where they killed Osama Yeah, I want Osama's house

He was in the building nice He had to fucking nice crib. He had the setup dude. He had a computer. He had babes. He had a computer. Yeah, he had babes. He had the only animas before. You think his babes had on like the whole body armor or they had on like bikinis with the face thing on them? According to Zero Dark Thirty, they were just in pajamas.

Really? Yeah. All day? Huh? Just in pajamas all day? Just in pajamas like laying down. It was in bed time when they got him like laying down there. It was in bedtime when they got him It was bedtime when they got Osama. He had a bunch of babes with him He had a bunch of babes and him he had babes his bro some children

I guess yeah, I guess he was like he was like a billionaire wasn't he? Yeah, technically. Yeah, if you're a billionaire Especially there that's like you're he's like 97% of GDP Of course, you got some babes. Yeah, although where was he from? He was from Saudi There's a lot of they have a lot of money Saudi they got the bank there I know people who know his family like relatives of his yeah live here Yeah, like me you're normal college students and I think one of the sons lives in New York right now But I feel like it's probably a very distant family tree. That's sort of

That's a crazy. Oh Crazy everybody got a crazy Yeah, my aunt got in trouble September 11 You got a young big big trouble spin on the run for 20 years What a cute man they killed him in Saudi Arabia didn't know Pakistan. Yeah, yeah They made him walk the plank or something throw him in the ocean. What was that like a damn thing? I don't know if that was like a nice thing or a bad thing They did it so they wouldn't like bury his body so he wouldn't be honest. It's dishonorable

Yeah, they dishonorably buried his body tall like Megatron Through him in the fucking ocean like fuck you guys You better not get thrown in the ocean. He died like the submissive. Oh the submarine shit Just imploded. I mean if you think about it, too If you're if it's like a very religious society, and they're like dude they like destroyed his soul They're like yeah, we not you can't yeah, you're gonna be trapped and fucking with a little mermaid Dude I was I was watching a video last night. I was like really pumped this made it into my algorithm Dude, I was I was watching a video last night. I was like really pumped this made it into my algorithm It's Andrew Tate versus a retired mob boss talking about being a Christian

It was funny because it's Andrew Tate's I'm gonna be in Muslim and you know, blah blah is all this He's like it holds a society together, you know, it's like you can follow That's how I why I picked being a Muslim and then There's like I'm like reading the comments kind of scrolling the comments as I'm like watching the video to see I always Like to see kind of like feedback on it people were like this man like the mob boss guy He is preaching straight from God dude his we have listened Andrew Tate lay out this whole thing of like You know like well if that religion can hold society together then I got the bottle I think it's more functionally he's making this like points like functionally a better religion and that mob boss hears him out patiently He goes yeah, dude, but like what if you go to to use any like he's like, that's all I'm saying. I'm so scared of going

Afraid of going to hell. Yeah, cuz he did solitary confinement and then he went like dude. He's like this would be hell He was stuck in a box. Oh, this is like this forever. That's what yeah, but his whole argument was just like yeah, dude It's cool to like hold society together with the like strict rules, but what if you go to hell dude hell so scary That was the extent of his position he was like yeah, but dude if you go to hell it sucks forever Don't go to hell Describes hell right it is is dark you're by yourself, and it's just loud and it's hot like that's how the Bible describes. It's just my bedroom sleeping with a fucking monitor like No fan

My wife like I'm cold fucking hot get off Fucking hot Get off me. For real. I'm fucking hot. I'm so cold. Take the covers. Yeah, I wish women would stop being fucking cold all the time. Their irons fucked up, dude.

All women have one of those. Every woman's anemic, dude. Yeah. I know my girl, she like to put the air on like fucking 65 degrees. She runs hot. Yeah. That's kind of nice. I had a 68 before I go to bed.

68 is what I rock to. Oh yeah. She keeps it low, 60 degrees. Yeah, it'd it low 60 degrees Yeah, it'd be cold as hell in there Like dumb cold. You got no choice but to cuddle up. Yeah, that's what that's the trick I know what the first you're doing. And then she wonder why when I get hard, you know what I mean? Like come on man This is set up. Yeah, it's an argument. I know what you're trying to do. It's the cost. Dude

I'm not bragging at all. I woke up with a rager this morning and like my every time I was like, why are you hard? I'm like, dude, how do you thank you, bro? I'm like, I have a fucking boner. I just woke up. I'm a grown man Yeah, what are you talking? I'm glad it still works. Yeah Some people that can't say that I know you should be more nice to this thing. You should be more nice to my boner You should be more nice to this thing This place is Africa where this would be honored right now, you know, I mean I don't want to get to the details But she's been pretty nice Yeah, man, it's fucking so I mean, you know, I'm with the confines of a healthy marriage and neither of us go to hell I mean, you know, I'm you know, I'm with the confines of a healthy marriage and neither of us go to hell

Yes, very I've been so smitten dude, you go through cycles when you're in like a long-term relationship you go through cycles You're like total enemies and you're like it's like you're neutral And then you like kind of like fall in love again and then like, you know, some giant issue will arise It'll strange you from each other for Back in love right now Because it's a marathon Yeah, back in love You're about to be full of me Yeah, that's not tricked right back into it though, then I'll have a fucking little another baby

She's a clockstick and she wants she's like once a third you gotta get that boy I guess gotta get that little McCuskey dude a little boy would be cool. You're gonna name him junior. Yeah But I was telling her I'm like bro if you want to do that again you go right ahead Bro, if you want to do that again, you go right ahead, but you buy yourself Take two years and just enjoy your life And then really decide if you want to do that again because it's like you can't not if a woman wants a kid you Have to give it to her. You can't be like no Because it's like that's it. Yeah, it's a fee. That's like animal mode, dude You can't be like that's like it's a drive. You don't want to frustrate. Yes. Mmm. I Could be wrong. I could be wrong. But yeah, I don't you know, I think that if you don't know like eat one of your other kids

Yeah, you've met me and my girl been together like three years she be talking about kids my son 19 I'm like, yeah No, he's not a junior. He got my my first name for his middle name, you know, but that's how I am with my dad Does he act like you who my son? Yeah, he more he quiet. I'm not really is like when I'm by myself I'm just quiet. I'm really trying to create you know, but he real creative. He like to rap like he pretty he I'd you know Yeah, I ain't gonna kill his dream Because I mean it ain't our music the kids like Kill his dreams I know you're talking about there I'm like I actually follow a decent amount of just like underground YouTube rappers and some of the songs all that was like this shit's

Fucking fire you listen to it. You're like what are they talking about? Yeah, we don't know the words which is on glizzies the whole thing is switch on the glitz on a glizzy every Yeah, we don't know the word which is on glizzies the whole thing is switch on glitz. I put you on a glizzy every What is it juice world that's what type of Type that's no way. Yeah, it's kind of sick man. Yeah, he pretty kind of good at it your son He's being sober juice world right? Yeah, he ain't do no drugs. He only 19. He like a real kid You know he go to college wasn't he He ain't do no drugs. He only like a real kid, you know, he go Was me But he's young. Yeah, the good thing my son he's not influenced by things, you know, like you can't I think we bestowed in him

What he knows is right from wrong. Yeah where he can make those own. He ain't gonna be like led by nobody. Yeah Yeah, you know how so what? Yeah, what is that that like when your kids get that older cuz I'm like Whacked out by that whole thing. I'm like, there's only they're so little I might do and they become like almost an adult I don't know. I mean you can't be fun just to fuck with them And you just hope that he's still doing you know the right things because you know He got the option to be able to do whatever you want to yeah So it's just it's kind of scary because you see the world and you're looking on the news and you're looking on the internet You like these kids fucking crazy. I'm scared of these motherfuckers. Yeah, I don't think you'd be living with them I don't think you think about your kids at 19. No, it's a different world. I know it's real. Yeah

I think I think a fever pitch will kind of break and things. Yeah chill. I hope yeah, or we'll lose the battle and everyone will be trans Or we'll lose the battle and everyone will be trans Everybody is trans. Some of my straight right has fallen Bruce I've been like you check out trans. I'm like no dude. What the hell are you talking about that? Like you taking out trans with the the top is like just like dudes with tits fucking ladies. So what? You're saying there's like and you say you don't want you lie to your friends Wait, so there's now just dudes with tits. There's dudes with tits and dicks fucking girls Yeah, but there they present as dudes with tits now, or they just like very trans being rude minimalist

Like that's kind of Rude If you're like, I'm totally hetero I just have a fat rack That's kind of next now we're going into the future Fat rack on you because of the club with your bro's just slamming high noon my tits look Yeah, I was talking to the fucks I talking to about this last night But yeah, that's gonna 20 years from now. That's gonna be like the sex question five years. Yeah, true regular Yeah, the sex question will just be kind of like whatever oh you got like axe people are you a male or? It'll just be not a thing it's like it'll you know before like in the 90s if you did anything vaguely gay

It was like a death sentence. Yeah, yeah, people are just like whatever man. Yeah, man. I miss those days Yeah, people are just like whatever man. Yeah, man. I miss those days Everybody to be stoned to death. No, not stoned to death, you know, you just should be able to make fun of people for being dumb Oh, you can't you can do it. How are you fucking ladies with titties? You chill That's suboptimal you can't even feel it How you fucking ladies with titties you saying like you got how are you fucking ladies with titties? I don't know dude imagine your kids slam it against her tits Belly bump is pretty good Imagine you oiled up your titties

That'd be nice to do if I could do the time machine if we go back to the Donahue show and ask Farah Connobag to hear me out What if as a flex bros having fat tits here's like? Excuse me You want to see the whole nation of Islam get mad at you? You think you were Yaku? He said Yaku They're trying to assassinate you Right in front of Donahue Donahue wouldn't say shit

Yeah Donahue Donahue started all this bullshit, the internet now Like all of these people going crazy and like just getting a camera on everything, it all came from Donahue Yeah, well reality TV Really? I remember watching that pre well I guess social media was out, but it was like nobody

Yeah, like housewives and all those shows I remember watching those being like this is gonna change people's personalities, and I did that I really think it did and then it's like Well, you don't need because people would aspire to like be like them in some way Yeah, cuz it was just like it was a behavior that was being rewarded socially like you know And then it was like some people are gonna naturally just adapt those behaviors, and it was like Everyone can have a camera on them all the time dude has anyone ever done like a behavioral analysis of the post reality TV show world Yeah, they've well they've done like I started reading a book

I never finished it, but they said like the levels of narcissism. I've been like rising but I don't know man that was that's like a That gets tied into a weird thing where like they're like if you think you're special or unique at all you're a narcissist And it's like yes, man. I don't know that the whole narcissus. I get it. There's people who are solely in 100% Absorbed with themselves, but it's also like the natural state of nature. I think the internet's bad for girls. Yeah, that's a terrible for girls bad for girls Their brains the whole whole day be messed up by the end of it. Well, they get tricked by pictures Yeah, so they like see big babes can trick other babes and into like having hot pictures

And they see them and they need hot pictures. I always same as like when a dog barks at the dog Yeah, true well Yeah, they get they get all they get all fired up and then I always ask her to like she'll like like look at this and I'll just be like some girl Like on the page. I'm like what like what are you guys like thinking about when you do that? She's like, I don't know just like show a nice picture of you. Yeah, the rest be like I got motive to it So it's crazy. Just to stop and like there's like effort taken in they like sit there and be like women of lunatics They're like scanning them. So they are do you they're crazy. I? I think the tongue out is just to show how deep your throat is

So it's kind of like a flex. I think it's I think it's a I don't know what it is But it is like it just stopped in the middle of your day you're just having like a unit just like Putting something away, and it's like you don't look pretty right now It's fucking crazy behavior yeah, yeah away and it's like you don't look pretty right now yes I do there's women who do it every day and then becomes a thing of like you know then you do it and people like he looks so good just on beautiful oh my god hello beautiful look at her she looks like a fucking piece of shit then you know what then you starting up in onlyfans and it's $15 a month. That's too much money Dollars a month how much you pay for your only fans? I?

Pay for multiple but like I'm saying the most I'd be willing to pay for like a regular girl Yeah, it's probably like seven dollars, but she has to be like a hot Do they are they like? They're missing they're self on there. No. That's the trick that LaMara and Nate told me. You gotta pay extra to see their pussy. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes you have to pay extra because they do the PPV where they like, you pay for the channel and then they're like, here's a $10 video of me sucking a dildo and you're like, this is gay. Yeah. This is the only, so there's like only, only, only fans where you go in and finally just them having sex with their boyfriend and like a good job idiot Yeah, I mean he gotta like be spit-roasting us something. You know, I didn't pay now. I'm at like $47 You ever heard her sub girl this lady she gets at it I heard about it from you I said, yeah

What is there? What is she like a live person? No, she did the here's our most famous videos from a website Well, it was her most famous video had to be like four years ago But she was getting like fucked by two guys and then she was like hit me and the guy was like hitting her ribs And she was like hit me harder than that and then he was like, all right. He was rocking With like four hooks She would take him. Yeah, well fucking two guys. Yeah, her thing is she can take anything. She's the queen of taking anything and anyone. Yeah, yeah. You get her.

How long do you think she's gonna last though? Those guys have short shelf lives. She's been around for a while now. I don't want to like, you know, curse her. She might not be a live. She just hit a million Twitter followers. Subgirl? Congratulations to Subgirl. I hope, you know, guys continue beating the shit out of you online

What are my favorite ladies is in Houston right now, and I don't know what to do Janice heart Janice to freak. Oh my god. What do you mean? I'm a ghost How many girls would you say are on OnlyFans? All of them. Yeah. You think it's like hundreds of thousands or like hell yeah. There's so many girls that are sneaky.

Dude, they either call them spicy links or exclusive content. Really? Yeah. There's a lot like- There's girls I went to high school with that have spicy links. There's so many girls, dude, all of them. 33% female. Well, this is the only thing- with that have spicy links. There's so many girls, dude, all of them. 33% female.

Well, this is the only time. These are the subscribers, though. Yeah, how many creators? Yeah, good job. That's a good answer. Yeah, a lot of girls I went to high school with just have spicy links. Two million?

Damn. Damn. I don't know if monthly active users, two million content creators or 20 million 4% of American adults are planning to become an only fans content creator. That's crazy Yeah, that's uh, that's crazy that like you're like I'm 18 time to show my titties Never gonna get better than this That is a pretty big chunk

Yeah, yeah 2 million content creators damn damn well God bless you We're gonna get better than this. That is a pretty big chunk. Yeah. Yeah. Two million content creators, damn. Damn. Well, God bless you. Yeah. God bless you. Shit, they making a lot of money.

And then, not all of them. Not all of them. Yeah, that sucks to like put your pussy online and get like 40 cents and you're like, fuck. Hell yeah. 45% female. Or, yeah. Okay. Hell yeah, 45% female All right. Yeah, okay, so it's 2% other is 53% 45 53 male oh, no binary. I'm confused by all that like all of that

They them you and a lot of other people you know I just don't I just don't want to offend nobody I think the only fan thing is like it happened offend them fuck them I think the thing that happened with only venom in your heart, man I'm getting tricked. This is a bad way to like exist though. It's not like a good You don't want to become the only fans country like what are you gonna send a bunch of only fans? This is a question I have why do you think female porn stars? Typically have such a short shelf life because they age fucking rapidly do yes They're doing drugs, and they're just like indulging. It's just an indulgent lifestyle now, okay

That makes sense think it's the drugs and the drugs and the drugs the the tons of Why can't I just do it like holistically and just kind of like clocking clock out? You gotta do it at home. Yeah. I was saying to Nate on panties yesterday that being a slut is like, it's like a warranted, people want that title of slut now. It used to be like something you just like.

Forbidden. Yeah. It was a passion. Yeah, it was more of a passion. It was more of a passion. Yeah, I hear girls talk about that, like my ho phase and you're like, shut up. Yeah, that shit's kind of gross.

Knock it off. Yeah, don't even tell me about your ho phase. Oh my god, I didn't even get to be a ho. It's like, can you stop? You should be so lucky. Yeah. For real. It's crazy, that's life though, you know? The internet scared the shit out of me.

That's why like, dating is so hard, I think, you know you know you got the internet and you got people really thinking like you got to compete with Drake now Yeah, yeah you He is the man though. I give it to him. That's what I'm saying Like you got complete with like other select before used to have the compete with like in Florida Florida Joe Now you got to compete with LA Joe and yeah Or Joe there was a I forgot I was reading this one book I've read who it was by but it was like it was from a long time ago and they're talking about like TV and How there's women who have like crushes on these actors?

They'll never see and they'd be on a TV screen and then the guy it's just like a gay guy in real life And they're just like this guy It's just like a gay guy in real life Movie star who'll never see it and just like that creeps into your marriage you have to compete with that and it's just a total fantasy Yeah, it's not even real Yeah, yeah, I mean hopefully the whole kind of you know Maybe the whole desire apparatus will collapse in on itself people just chill out and they're like alright this we're not getting well We need desire or will become Japan where like everyone's dying They have desire dude. They're doing a fucking octopus tentacles up

They do have to but it's like it's too readily available so they don't have to seek out sexual satisfaction What do you mean? Like they can just go to a vending machine and buy panties and then beat off They don't have to like go look for a lady. That's a decent amount of effort dude. No I know what you're saying, I know what you're saying. I know what you're saying. Yeah, well dude, I guess it's just getting older. But I'm like, I'm like YouTube, I'll just be like, what am I doing, man? I don't see anything on there that I like.

I'll watch it for like an hour, being like, come on, give me something. YouTube's QVC now. It's the home shopping network. Like everything on YouTube is just an ad to like sell you something. Yeah, true. Yeah, nothing on YouTube is really informative anymore unless you're going to like like history. Yeah history vids I watch history vids. But the history vids are the same vids with just different voices. Yeah, and they just make cartoons Yeah, it makes you feel dumb, but I watch them a lot I like fishing videos. I like that too I don't know why when they be out in the ocean and big-ass fish

Or even a little fish or they got them Indian dudes. They'd be digging in the mud Yeah Yeah, I do like to see videos of like a dude like I'm gonna dig a pool with my shovel Bastard that scams us with the hole. Yep trash that bastard. Well. I thought he was gonna well he he's He uh exactly something for real like explode gasoline in a hole and we the podcast sponsor well We don't even like even sponsor. I was like I asked him if we could he's like I'll throw the banner up and he He said that like local authorities were on his case And they were like dude you're gonna go to jail if you do that

Then he had already built up his following so he was kind of put in a fucked Up situation where he was like I don't want to well maybe he's not a bastard then but I mean I was disappointed I really wanted him to see him blow up that motherfucking hole. He's got to go somewhere. He's got to go to another country He's gonna blow up what dude this guy dog has a big hole, and he's like when I get to a million followers I'm gonna fill this hole with I don't know if he said gasoline or something Gas, he says gas. I'm gonna blow this. I'm gonna fucking just light on fire and have a big Huge gas fire pit. I was like fuck you. Everyone was stoked. You got a million followers Hell yeah, I kinda sponsored it. I wanna see it.

But I think during that whole thing Authorities caught on and they were like bro if you fucking throw gasoline in that hole and light on fire We're gonna throw you in jail. Forever. And then I guess he couldn't he just kept it going I guess he's like fuck all right, and then he did like a fake explosion people were like fuck you People I mean that was like you know Every day see the hole get deeper you're like dude. He's gonna See one of his arms blowing off. I think everybody wanted to probably wanted to see him dad Exciting part about gasoline explodes right the vapers explode

Well, yeah, if you put a giant pit of gasoline the vapers would be so thick that when you lit it you would just explode Yeah, so you'd have to do some sort of like fuse from yeah, you'd have to research a mile away Yeah, how far does it the vapers travel and it would it would go high in the air. Yeah, you should you would get yeah Terrible guy you've gotten fucked off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking man. I don't know Oh, there's a lot of people are getting followers by just like I saw one video where a guy was like I'm gonna walk one mile for every follower and you got like 800,000 I was like dude, they're getting gonna walk the China. Yeah, that kind of sucks Yeah, they're getting good at the algorithm. He's just on the green screen be like oh, there's the pyramids

I'm bushed The internet is stupid, but I love it man. Yeah, I like it too. I like the internet well, dude Let's slide to the patreon. Yeah, where we at time why you gotta go number one Oh, yeah, let's fucking slide on over dudes. Thank you guys so much. Thank you. I'm the motherfucking page 500 episode 697 oh this 500 of No of the regular one. Yes, I think of patreon. It's like 2040 we have a lot of What do you got where you gonna be where you gonna be at doing stand-up oh July 3rd, I got a who's stopping by that's a bi-weekly show. I'm doing a Vulcan nice shit I'm on the road a lot like

Working people get tickets and stuff uncle jolly calm there you go I got like all my tour dates and the killers of kill Tony tour tickets up there Nice. I would be in Oklahoma in like a week. I can't I never been to Oklahoma. I'm excited about it Brick City? Hell yeah Hell yeah Please come to Optimum Noctus too please I'm begging you July 2nd

July 2nd I can't wait for that The day before Jolly Show Hell yeah I'm definitely going to Optimus That's always a good show Yeah we drink it It's good hanging man Noctus rules

Hell yeah you got it. Yes, please. August 12th, 13th, I'm at the Dojo of Comedy in New Jersey. August 14th, Hucky's at the Nook. And then 16th and 17th, I'm at Helix Esports. In Foxboro. Or Comedy Scene in Foxboro, yeah. Do you have a website?

No. Jesus Christ, man. I mean, because I be out here naming them. That's why I got a website, because I'm in'm in Iowa fucking Missouri Virginia Beach. Just a lot of yeah Well you guys roll I'll be at the fully loaded tour this week Should be fun. Where y'all gonna be it? I think like Alabama that whole area on like Alabama ish Huntsville area probably Alabama, Florida That whole area you make content man. Yeah, I can't wait

You hate making content. I don't mind. I mean I make content right now, but yeah, we'll see I heard it's pretty chill I heard it. I was talking to someone yesterday and they're like, it's not it's pretty chill You just kind of do your thing and yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I bet you that's a good time That's a good little part of the country that little Alabama I do like it like that. Yeah. Yeah, I've been through there once like Cottonwood, Alabama and like how it goes right to Florida and yeah So yeah, we'll see Pensacola is a not you've been to Pensacola or Fort Walton Beach. Mm-hmm Yeah, I love Florida Florida is one of my favorite favorite states PA Texas, California, Florida I just realized that when I left Florida from moving away then coming back motherfuckers is crazy in Florida

We probably the craziest people in the world Like things that you thought was normal Then you see that it's not normal you come back. He's like, yeah y'all people You see that it's not normal, you come back and he's like, yeah, y'all people crazy. I feel like you been saved. Y'all fucked up. For real. Thank you guys so much.

We're going to the Patreon. Let's slide the fuck in. You guys rule. Thank you so much. Love you guys. Love you too.