Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 501 - Daddy Tuah

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Optimum Noctis at The Creek and The Cave in ATX Tues August 6 @ https://www.creekandcave.com/events/optimum-noctisvb6dfszg51bdq3z3wnu4ptljon3i Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Yo0o00o0o0o. wutz gud. We're back. Fambly ep. Shane and Matthew have been reunited to bless everyone with a piping hot broadcast just in time for the 4th of July! We hope everyone has fun tomorrow celebrating our great nation's independence ! Please enjoy. God bless.  ps no ads this week shout out 4th of july 

We're live hey Talking about the great Xbox outage Xbox outage of 2020 start over. Yeah start it over right now JK hey Hey, we're live. We can't misspeak dude. We'll get denominated from here Denominated yes, I'm I fuck my speech. Oh, yeah, I'm a little bit get him out of here true. Give him the fuck out Well, yeah, I guess let's just get into that. That was heartbreaking. It was sad. I didn't enjoy it.

I didn't lie, there was no part of me that reveled in Joe Biden's cognitive slippage. Yeah, it was very sad. It was. I liked watching Trump's face. When he would get accused, he was like, you son of a porn star when your wife was pregnant. Yeah, right.

I noticed that a lot of his facial expressions are just gay guys. Like, what as if. Yeah, right. Yeah, he is like his default countenance the whole time was crazy. Just the wise old Al. He had like the Biden was Biden talked to him

and he was like scared. Yeah, Biden looked like he was on ketamine the entire time. Trump looked like he had someone carved his face in wood. He was sitting there the whole time like. Yeah, he looked like a tree. He looked like a tree from Bocanus. Looks like, yeah. Yeah, dude, he for real, that's a weird reference.

The Rainforest Cafe. Yeah. But he was very measured the entire time. He was very chill. Yeah, I thought that could've went way worse. I thought if Trump was an asshole, like if he went at him hard, he would've looked bad. He only let him have it once.

He gave him one. He gave him a couple noogies, but he didn't beat his ass. No, he really did. It was actually kind of, I was watching him, I'm like, damn. He also seems like he's low in B12 or something. Trump? Trump seems like, yeah. I feel like a little bit of this. He's 78. I know. Isn't he 78? He's old, yeah, he's like low and b12 or something Trump seems like yes, I feel like a little bit I know isn't he 78. He's old. Yeah, he's up there

But he did some dogs. He's out on his feet, too. They're both stumble bums. I Mean he did well. He was able to be like I just got your text. You don't know what you're talking I'm a little cute though. I am grumpy, but I am cute grumpy, but cute I'm grumpy, but I am cute you're right Don't man I was grumpy because I just got back from the DMV in Tejas that'll grump you up And I couldn't be more grumpy how how's like the Texas DMV? There's a secret one in the state capitol Really? Yeah, I said Papa Rogues, please I went to this, there's a secret one in the state Capitol. Really?

Yeah, I said, Papa Rogues, please, I need to get a license. There's a secret one in the state Capitol? There's a secret one that I thought was a secret, it's not, it was just me and Asians. Which was fun. Yeah. It's a special type of hell.

True. Sitting in one of those chairs waiting. How was the, how were the employees? Were they the same old? There was one employee. There was. How was the employees? Were they the same old? There was one employee. There was no bathroom on the floor. I had to search the compound to find a lavatory. The Capitol?

Yeah. I stormed. That's what they say. You did storm. I stormed a dump. You sat in one of the desks? I exercised my second amendment, which is to shit in any state property building.

You can demand sanctuary in any building if you're like, dude, I gotta take a dump. A state building should allow that. They should. They should have gas station rules. True. There could be an Indian guy being like, this is just for your fucking employees only

and you're like, brother, please. And he's like, all right. I pay for this bathroom. You can take a shit next to the mop sink. In the fucking dirty, fucking shitty gas station. There's been some rough dumps in there. Yeah. Talking about a gas station or the state?

The state employees, they have vicious diarrhea also. It's crazy. Just being in there reminded me of working. Yeah. A real job. That shit sucks, dude. Yeah. There was construction outside,

so there was just a constant hammering, and no rhythm at all just It was it was uh it was yeah the worst of the sucks the hammer attachment on excavators when they're doing row work outside It's yes Just for fucking eight hours it was something like that. Yeah, it was a negative experience I had negative time the guy working behind the desk mumbled the entire fucking time don't speak up I don't get boy. I kind of did he got a little nasty towards me Why have been nasty as fuck towards me like really thinks the heat I don't know what it know

It's me when they fight it. I was he was like so what are you doing? Yeah, business And I was like I'm a comedian. He was like was like, so what are you doing? You have a business and I was like, I'm a comedian He was like How come I never heard of you? Dude, I don't give a fuck. Did you with the ad I was like I was actually I hosted Saturday live and he was like What and I was like, never mind. I'm not repeating that that was embarrassing. I shouldn't have said it the first time He's surrounded by like stuffed minions. He was an asshole. Dude, I passed the eye test. I had to do an eye thing.

And then I was like, nice, we did it. And he was like, what? And I was like, I said, we did it. He said, why? And I go, well, I was pretending to be excited to pass such a mundane thing. He was like Okay It was intense damn. Yeah, I was there for three and a half hours three hours Jesus Christ just yeah get kind of sassed by a man They are sassy. I've been sassed lately. There's a thing people do with it. They They shit on me like as like a hey, we're boys Yeah. Like it happened, I was at a wedding this weekend,

this guy came over and was like, what's up, dumbass? And I was like, all right, man. He hit you with like a what's up pussy? Pretty much, and then kept hitting it. And I was just like, all right. What the fuck? And then his wife or girlfriend came over, she was hitting me with it.

All right, I gotta tell you about this. It was crazy. That's nuts. And then a guy at the airport did it to me yesterday. We were sitting there, he was like, oh man, a lot of people recognize you. You think it's that shitty mustache? And I was like, yeah, maybe.

You're talking about Sansa right now. I don't know, dude. So I'm in this, I'm at the wedding, I went to a wedding this weekend, took a mushroom chocolate, way stronger than I thought it was gonna be. The square? Yeah, and it was an intense environment.

It was like a martini bar cocktail party. It was very stuffy, and I hardly knew anyone. And this dude who ended up being the man came up. It was the most intense dude of all. Like a UFC staredown is what he hit me with. Just eye contact, like, what's up dude? And I was like, I have to get the fuck out of here. So there was rocking chairs outside

and I sat on the porch just looking at the stars. I was like, damn, this is beautiful. And then a guy came up and was like I have to get the fuck out of here So there was rocking chairs outside and I sat on the porch just looking at the stars I was like damn. This is beautiful and then a guy came up was like, you know, what's up, man? Big fan my brother we always make fun of my brother. We say he looks like he looks fucking retarded, too Wrecked this all the, I've gotten fucking destroyed. What the fuck? I don't know. It keeps happening. What's going on?

I don't know. People walk up to me and they're like, yeah, my fucking cousin looks retarded too, dude. He's the man. I'm like, all right, cool. Yeah, I don't know. That's crazy. I don't know. I think it's a thing people, I don't know.

The sup pussy guys are really like I was object of fascination I try to adopt it for like two days and people just got pissed off at me. Yes. Oh I call my brother like spud like sup pussy like yeah. All right Now it's like saying your dad calling your dad gay It's the same thing where you're like, yeah. All right. Well, hold on a second. That's my holy grail to call my dad, like, yo, what's up, pussy? He would be pissed. We met at you for weeks.

For a long time. He's like, what are you on drugs? He's a punk. What are you doing? Big shot now. Mr. fucking podcast, big shot. You're dead with it, yo, what's up, pussy? What's up, pussy?

Phil's fucking weird ass is headed, I just talked to him. He's headed down to the park right now by my parents house to watch the Ten and under state semifinals in Pennsylvania. Really? Yeah, he's going he's no he doesn't know he doesn't know one kid basketball baseball baseball One child there those on some street. I thought he's on that street ball. He's wearing a fucking MAGA hat There those on some street. I thought he's on that street ball. He's wearing a fucking MAGA hat My sister's he's literally wearing a MAGA hat though. He's on that street ball tip I thought he's gonna hold the cone of the playground. Oh my god So he's just gonna go watch some baseball yeah, he needs he needs to check it out I mean dude He needs to check it out.

I mean, dude. Yeah. Did you see my father's day post on Instagram? No. It's my dad in Maggakure. It's my dad in Maggakure. Yeah. The dads are out, dude. It's Maggot time after that debate.

They're in full, yeah, they're fully elated. Yeah. They are absolutely fully, I'm sorry you're getting crushed. Yeah, it was, it's all right. I told you, I got annihilated in Vegas when these two people were like, dude, that was great, I saw you, it was great. And there's this short Maxson guy who kept going,

I don't know, let's see what was great about it. And he would just, I would be like, I take one of them and he'd be like, I don't know, I just don't really see it, not for me. I'm like, will you shut the fuck up, dude? Stop doing that. Yeah, that's, I got it. He wasn't gonna be like, what the fuck's your problem?

I was like, okay, all right. When people take pictures of me, there's always one person saying that, it's like, what do you do? Who are you? I don't even know who you are. I did it, I had to take, I was taking pictures of the airport

and this TSA guy was just standing there and he was like, I don't even know who you are. What do you do? I was like, what do you do? Who are you? To fuck. What the fuck dude? I haven't even had my coffee yet. What do you do? I was like, what do you do? Who are you? fuck The fuck dude. I haven't even had my coffee yet. I'm grumpy, but I'm still cute I went through TSA pre-check and I went through that was like I should take my belt off like no your belts fine

And go through the metal detector my guy I get to the metal detector it beeps. They you'd be randomly selected I'm like dude, it was probably my belt like now man. You're randomly selected. I was like man This is some fucking bullshit like you got to myself. I was like man. This is some fucking bullshit. He goes. It's not bullshit Like people are looking around there's a pilot going through like turns around I'm like, yeah, bro, you please chill out I was like bro. I'm just talking to myself. I wasn't even talking to you It's like it's not bullshit go over there and I was like alright. I had a good white dog Yeah, it's a white dog sounds like a white dog Bad it's actually not bullshit Dude, he screamed it and people are going to everyone who I was like in line with turned around and saw me getting screamed at

I was like dude. Can you please chill out what airport? Where was I leaving from Pens Pensacola, Florida. Tiny airport. Damn. Yeah, he fucking went nuts. He went completely loco on me. He might be a Sky King, dude. It's not bullshit.

He might be on his last leg. True. He might be ready to hijack one of his planes. He might. You ever see this guy? Yeah, you've seen this guy. I was surprised. Different Sky King.

I've never seen one of those dudes get so animated He fucking snapped because I set off the clear guy the clear person came I've been beefing with clear for the longest yeah So I'm in line and there's they just fucking come over and cut you off And it was it was like very early in the morning I think I hit him with the say I want what the fuck is this all about the guy I was I was kind of as fuck with the guy and he turns around he's looking at me I'm like do I'm fucking with you. He's like I was gonna say man. It's way too early for that

Oh, I was like but for real like you think you can just cut in front. He's it clear. Yeah clear That's the whole point of clear just come out of nowhere, but I'm like who the fuck an authority Are you just coming in cut whatever company clear is bro? Next time I won't be so nice. I was like I'm not gonna start beef, but I'll trip What the fuck is this all about you told you you can do this Give who gave you authority to cut in front of me like this. I find to find the grounds. I don't understand it It is he was right though. It's way too early for that level of Discourse to be like no no who will power grants you that authority I pay the taxes

But yeah, just like came out the dude looked at me and the person with him was just like they both kind of froze I was like, you know, I'm just playing with you homie Didn't even realize it came out of my mouth though did I kind of stop my internal monologues been so fucking sassy Are you sassy? I was like man, this is some fucking bullshit. I don't know your girl Did you see the The dad at the graduation who were like the black superintendent of the school came to shake her hand and he fucking Oh lined him out of the place. No, dude. He got he just said it was just beef Everyone was saying it was racial but he just had beef with this guy for some reason. Tell me what happened

I don't know there was just a graduation like a couple months ago and like this There was like a black superintendent of a school college. I was either college. I think it's a high school Okay, and he came to like shake this white chick's hand and the dad I guess it had beef with this guy So he went to shake his daughter's hand the dad came out the crowd and just pushed Didn't like knock him. It was like now that I keep it moving and didn't let him shake his daughter's hand white dad Yeah, it was not a good look Brittany showed it to me. I'm like bread. That's just beef, bro. He just had strictly beef. That's just beef. I know beef when I see it

Honey, that's strictly and that was the same. He's like bro. It's not racial. I just hate that guy. He's like I don't like He's like what do you know? I like about him? He's black. He just didn't like him. He didn't like the cut of his jib, dude Don't fucking shake my daughter's hand. He was like, nah, I won't get I won't grant you the pleasure of shaking my daughter's hand It was fucking humiliating daughter's just like no Why I don't I didn't I couldn't I like getting a diploma handshake. Yes, and the guy was like no so fast And it's like a frill like a bouncer block doesn't like shove him. It's not violent. He's like no Fuck I don't know. I don't know if he said some shit or what but he was just like he was just like I don't like shove him. It's not violent. He's like no Fuck I don't know. I don't know if he said some shit or what but he was just like he was just like I don't like that guy. We have a we've had a problem for his graduation

I do have a very that's where I become a very old white guy at the graduations Yeah, when I see kids dance after they get their diplomas. Yeah, very fucking keep it moving Yeah, my cousin just graduated in college. He's like I just didn't go to the ceremony He's like it's stupid. Yeah, I didn't go mine. Yeah, that's a good move. I did I went It was I was hot and finally hung over the whole time. It was not good at all They are stupid. You can totally skip them. I skipped my college graduation. Yeah. Yeah high school. I told you I was too turnt Oh, I was I for real hit me and kid Rock and the only two people I know Who were super turn out of gradu people I know who were super turnt at our graduations.

We were way too turnt. Let's just say I didn't shoot the Bud Lights that night, dude. Yeah. I drank like seven Budweiser's. Did shotgun in the mouth. I drank, for real, drank like seven Budweiser's when I was in high school graduation.

That's disgusting. I was fucked up, dude. I was hammered. That's terrible. I was crazy. Yeah. That was the first time I ever had them actually Budweiser's yeah Budweiser probably the whiz Yeah, right tough. I was smoking and drinking

Drinking a smoke. I was drinking and smoking head down the headed down the graduation was just like Bad move don't do it kids. Don't do it. Don't even think about it What do you think about the viral sensation, hockatooa? The hockatooa girl? Yeah. I have no, I don't care. I know. I really think it's a, I think it's

been exposing the, just how we've, like the whole thing about her is just, it's just the quantity. There's no substance behind it. I have no, I have no ill will against the hockatooa girl. I think she's actually kind of charming. But it's like, it's just the sheer amount that that's garnered it has nothing to do with like the quality of anything it's just she said I spit on penises and that for some reason people are so they

freak out I don't know why people are freaking out about it so much in the age of just so much how was that girl 21 Okay, I can see some you do so I can see the field that she's tapping into I guess for Mass Appeal But it's crazy. I'm useful took pictures with her and that's what I'm saying. That's a little off-putting That's what set that's what set me up to her. I'm like, why are you free? Are you genuinely excited you're with this person? And if so, why you're only excited because of the sheer like numbers that she's garnered due to the post not the quality of anything like she's talking about. But it freaked me out thinking like we're all getting like Google analytic brain where

it's just it's just about like numbers and metrics and just freaking out. Yeah she would spit on a cock. Yeah. And that would suck though. The thing that bothers me is seeing the girl, it sucks when they get drunk and get street interviewed. Yeah. It's always on 6th Street too.

Oh, she was in Austin? I don't know if she was, it looked like either Nashville or Austin. Yeah. Nashville and Austin are the exact same place. Yeah, they're very similar. Those street interviews, can you imagine if your sweet baby was leaving the bar, and they were just like how many guys have you fucked she's like 50. Yeah suck their dicks

That's on the throat go that spit on yeah It goes viral shacks looking at her like I wish she'd suck my dick Fuck I thought we had something Dude I'm reading the Glenn Lowry memoir. Yeah, bro Speaking of getting pussy, bro. Oh, yeah I'm telling you so much pussy. Glenn Lowry is a pussy. Bro. And pussy too. Most of the book is about dude for real a huge Huge chunk of the book is about getting pussy. I Did not think I was gonna be so turned on reading his

about getting pussy I did not think I was gonna be so turned on reading his autobiography. His old pictures he looks like yay. Bro he's the man I did not know to the extent of like what an I always knew he was a beast obviously but I'm like you could tell he's a pussy getting man. Let me see it let me see that old picture. Bro look at this. God damn. That's a pussy getting man. Yeah it is. That's a man who's seen a lot of pussies. Bro, he's seen a man. He was awesome. I got to meet him. He's for real.

He's pretty neat. His book is, if you're kicking around the airport, his audio book is fantastic. He narrates it. It's just about getting snooze? I mean, there's like the evolution of his stances, but every phase of his life is permeated, or just like

Tied to a story about him getting pussy and how like it would like just blow up in his face, dude He had like an I knew he like got like in trouble Dude, he's the man. It's like you from up the block And his uncles like showed him the way of getting pussy he had an old like smoking jacket Which you know I didn't know what the fuck these things were until I looked it up. They're like those big robes that guys would put on to smoke cigars and not stink like a cigar.

Oh, I didn't even understand that was why. Yeah, I didn't know that. I had to look it up. I was like, why do people wear these things? But his uncle, who was a notorious pussy man, was like, yo, I'm gifting you my smoking jacket. So he would get hoes all the time and he'd put on his uncle Alfred, his uncleifting you my smoking jacket. So he would like get hoes all the time and he'd like put on his uncle Alfred,

his uncle Adler's smoking jacket. And then it was actually kind of like, it was like the best thing that could possibly happen to it. But if he got in like a high profile scandal, because he was being tapped by, I think the Reagan administration or Nick, I think it was Reagan,

was like tapping him to be in like the cabinet. And the whole time he had like a 23 year old girlfriend that put up an apartment on the side It's all in his memoir and he uh, come on man. He had like the smoking jacket. He had like on his love nest He had a little love nest I don't think we've got any pussy man in my family. Do you have any pussy man? Yeah, I think that's a weird guy to have in your family Do you have any pussy men? Mm-mm. No.

I think that's a weird guy to have in your family. A pussy man? A pussy man in your family? Yeah, I'm trying to think if we have, I mean, shit. I have an Uncle Tia and he has a bunch of kids. He's got 10 kids. You might be looking at the McCusker representative. No.

No, not like that. He was on another level. You got a little love nest. I don't have a love nest. You got a little love nest. I don't have a love nest. You got a secret love nest in Austin. I don't. My love nest is, yeah, it's my hotel room by my cell. Tony's close to the apartment.

I keep him up there. I keep him in the secret closet. Shane's bitch girlfriend's here. Get the fuck out of here. He had to smoke his jacket. Sorry, I couldn't stop doing that voice at the wedding. It wasn't a Tony. It was just something I was doing the whole time.

Just like being a bitch, being a sassy guy at the wedding. Just like the wedding's ruined. Everybody get in the tent. Fuck, it's raining. Did it rain? The next day. Was it ironic? Was the wedding? The wedding was. Fuck, it's raining. Did it rain? The next day. Was it ironic?

Was the wedding rain? The wedding was not ironic. It was raining on your wedding day? Sunday there was a rainy wedding and I did that exact joke. Did you really? Yeah, I was like, it's raining. It's ironic.

Yes, dude. Rain room. Number one on Patreon. Number one, dude, nothing can stop us, sorry. But I was on my balcony at the hotel, and this is after the wedding, and the moon was on, it was at the ocean, but the moon was way out,

like it was orange and on the coast, or like on the horizon, and it was cloudy, so it just looked like a big orange light. And I was fucked up on the mushrooms, and I was like, what the fuck is that? I was for real like is that an explosion? The rest of the next ad is campaign like the fucking moon scared me at the wedding fuck I Told the moon not to show up and it ruined it

Being sassy at a fancy wedding is certifiably very funny. It was a very fancy wedding. Where was it again? It was in Rhode Island. I love it. It was awesome. It was right next to the right next to Taylor Swift. I was right next to Taylor Swift's mansion. What? Yeah, it was pretty neat. I was down there. I was staring at it.

What's the man's going? Taylor Swift, get get out of here bitch. We're having a wedding I'm gonna break in your house and cut your fucking head off I'm gonna split your head like a trophy in my house Getting to well so how much you think her head would go for if I if you somebody If you somebody come If I just just to clarify if somebody had to cut off Taylor Swift said Yeah, that would probably go for a lot a Saudi a Saudi prince would acquire that Would definitely do it. You could like put on her music and just chill with her head. That's a pretty penny. Yeah, you would chill with that head? I would chill.

I'd play football with it. Imagine not even telling Swift's head. What the fuck, dude? You're talking about the Queen of Pop. Don't talk about T-Swift like this. I'm kidding, obviously. We both are Swifties. Big time. Definitely. Dude, I was listening to Shake It Off with my two daughters recently. I was listening to the sing soundtrack version and the real Taylor Swift version came on.

I was like, damn, she's a true master of her craft. This is firing me up. Speaking about songs, Neil and Meze had a fun discussion. Dude, when's the last time you listened to Money for Nothing? Dire Straits is awesome. Do you remember the part in there where he's like, see that wow wow? We'll get demonetized or whatever.

We got to listen to this for 10 seconds. We can. Free, we're uh. Here it goes. I was listening to this song, fucking rocks, and then that part came out, I was like. That's his home to the gang That little thing That little thing Who gave you sweet revenge? I was listening to it and I saw fucking rocks and then that part came on and I was like Did you say faggot? I was saying that

that might be the greatest stand up intro song Oh that's great I think I'm going to adopt it Oh that's really nice Yeah It's so intense. I thought you saw you coming out to the verse. Yeah, I might.

I might tell him to skip to that for the end of the show. Play it at the end. But that's exciting. That's what I got going on. The UFC guy at the Bellator man at the wedding. And I he gave me a leg kick. And it still hurts, it hurts. We were drinking.

He was like, I'll go 20%. And I was like, all right, I'll do it. It still hurts. Did he go 20? Oh, he probably didn't even go 20. No, he went so light. He was like, make sure you brace your leg and flex it. Oh, he did go light.

I did not brace it at all. My knee buckled hard as shit. And everyone was like, oh my God. Are you all right? I was like, yeah, I'm fine. That didn't even fucking hurt. That didn't even hurt. Should've checked it.

Then I went, I was like, I could check it. I considered it. Just break your knee. Shatter my shin at the wedding. No, it hurt, it hurt a lot. Yeah, that fucking kills. Yeah, it didn't hurt due to the alcohol for a minute. And then after a while, I was like, why is my leg? Oh, yeah. Dude, those guys are freaks, man. Guy fucking leg kicked me at the wedding, ruined it. Now I got scared by the moon and I went to bed. Somebody called me retarded and then I got scared by the moon and I went to bed.

After being like, you could try wrestling moves on me. Yeah, yeah. You can leg kick me right now in front of all these people. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed.

I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed.

I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. Somebody call me retarded and then I got scared by the man bad Have to be like you could try Russell moves on me. Yeah, you can let kick me right now in front of all these models Fucking kills Fucking kills they'd never get leg kicked No, dude, those dudes are terrifying. I told you before, and this guy, he just had done fights

in AC when I went through my MMA thing when I was 26 and on the verge of probable divorce, and I took to the fucking dojo, dude. Yes. This'll fix everything. The dude was like a black belt and had fought before amateur fights, and he's like you want me you want to see how it's like what it's really like yeah it's like yeah give it to me full it was like a just like a swirl like a woman being beat he beat the fuck out of me yeah now you know how know how they feel. Yeah, true. How unfair. For real, it's that unfair.

How scary it is. That unfair. Just like you little dick. You little dick. Cousin fucked me better, bitch. Ah. Do you see that investor guy who went wild at the Pride Parade and beat a lady up?

No. Dude, they threw hot sauce on his jacket and he's like, what are you fucking serious? And like, they started like mob up on him and he just like grabbed his lady's face and just shoved her down. He smushed her. Yeah, he smushed, dude.

He sent her flying, she like smacked her head on the ground. They threw hot sauce on him. What? Yeah. It was, I mean, dude, they threw hot sauce on him. That is a challenge. And then attacked him.

Yeah. It's like, obviously you shouldn't hit women, but it's like, dude. If someone throws hot sauce on him and then attacked him. Yeah. It's like obviously you shouldn't hit women but it's like dude. If someone throws hot sauce you're allowed to face smash. Dude he had like a nice jacket. He had a nice fucking evening wear jacket. He was his uncle's fucking smoking jacket. His uncle's, he had his uncle's jacket. Somebody fucking threw Texas Pete on it.

Dude the chickie, so the 23 year old he was with, eventually he like, he kicked her out of the love nest, things were going awry. know all right right thank you and the disarray right she went back to the place and she cut it up like into tiny little pieces cut that the smoking jacket she knew that was it that's Samson's hair he was yeah but it's also it's like what a beautiful way to have your like pussy getting smoking jacket destroyed just by an angry 23 year old It's almost from go That was the fate of the smokers jacket. I had to send the mayor secret text you pick up the

Just said it true. No, that was good. My chicken has arrived my sweet buffalos chicken salad very slick It wasn't that slick. It was much more distracting than me That was very slick. It wasn't that slick. It was much more distracting than me just saying it Well, man toss that fridge Thank you. You want to pause and munch? Yeah, desperately pause and munch. All right. Thank you BRB. Bye jumping back. I just ate a bowl of salad as fast as I could We're back. Let's go perfect Hopefully it'll leave your body with the same velocity it will will, it certainly will. Is there any old language or culture that wishes people great dumps?

Be like, I wish you excellent dumps. I don't think so. I don't know, but people get really excited to comment on your asshole if you eat something spicy. Yeah, people love that. I did Hot Ones and I got 900 people texting me like, how was your asshole later? Same as it always is, it was a fucking disaster. That's one that is one

That's one thing especially older men will break a moratorium on like gay stuff on they'll talk about how spicy your butt is They'll be like yeah, you'll pay for it out the other end. They love saying that hey later. Yeah But holes gonna be burning There is so they do love that actually now. Yeah, I I never thought about that before that's like a go-to mm-hmm I'll get you on the other side the hot sauces name like hot asshole they're like look at that burn your ass look burn your ass all the way you'll be dancing on the toilet seat. Lamize I didn't even notice your new plaid trunks who fitted you? Me and Sean, we went to the Goodwill and got fitted up. A bit of a shopping spree. Spent a little bag at the Goodwill.

Do they have any shorts there to cover that big fat dick of yours? God damn it, dude. Stop wearing short shorts. You wear tight short shorts. What do you mean you're not? Dude, I can see your inner thigh is fully exposed. Your cock, your dick head could slip out of it. Leave me be, please. Oh, sorry for making fun of you for having a giant dick.

I'm joking. Yeah. Must be tough, dude. Yeah, that sucks. It ain't easy. Must be tough. I had the tinnitus on full fucking, it was at full mass this morning

at my 6 a.m. Orange Theory. We had to do glute bridges and and I was fully I refused I refused to participate I was personal trainer in New York just me and he'd stand right here and I'd be on the ground going stick in a nub straight into the air yeah that's tough that's the worst exercise I was nubbing yeah I was nubbing and he had to do a thing while you're nubbing with like a overhead weight thing that you pull it down like an overhead That's a nightmare too because then your fucking belly hangs out with your nub. It's belly nub It's pretty nice. I would storm out. I'll go I'm done working out here. I'm rip my armband off. That'll be enough of that

That's enough Just don't face the other way down. Just went my butt up in the air and just tell you, like, no, this is how I do those. This is how I work. See the big bash of the NYC pride parade? The fight? No, you brought this up, the hot sauce guy? No, no, no, no. This was a... Was it Gs versus Bs or? It was, I'll say they fought bravely, but I think it was like a, I don't wanna,

it was either a very large. It better not be the Ts versus the Ls, cause that's a blowout. Ts versus the Ls would be crazy. There was a bit of T versus L. It looked as if they were T versus L. And then everybody has to be like, this is woman on woman.

Yes, clearly it's not. It was like giant black lesbians and possibly a giant black T fighting each other. GBLs? GBLs. Who would the GBLs fight? Each other. Over, somebody attacked a tiny white lady

and then, someone attacked an Elvin kin. Yeah, and then the there was a an Amazonian conqueror came out and just started working dude watch this just started taking heads We're wide at the very beginning and it actually like a sizable brawl ensues. Yeah, dude. Everyone fought bravely though I'll give him that yeah, dude Yeah, dude Hold on This was this it's like Washington Square Park Is it I noticed from the steps I said well, I've been on that fountain I've said there and witnessed the other guy caught up in that crossfire. No, don't leave our white queen alone

Yeah, dude, I think they might have thought she was CC dude. Yo. Bro, it popped off dude. And then there was this fight, there was this side fight after side fight. I think it ended with somebody firing a couple shots. I think someone, literally, like a man was shot in the butt in the hand.

I was like, obviously. Bro, how'd you even say that without laughing? yeah guy got shot in his ass at the pride parade 7958 men got shot in the butt yeah that was a little big news it was that uh huge melee and then there was guys going around the pride parade doing that thing where they would like interview uh gay men and they think it's cool to have your fucking dick out here, buddy I think it's cool to have your dick out in front of kids there was dude there was one

I got a pride fight this weekend where in Philadelphia. I was at a bar talking to a lady about it Well, she said I was just like look I'm all for gay stuff do whatever you want But I know some of those guys that go to that and they get wild at that thing. Yeah, like that weekend or that week, the pride parade in New York is like dudes are going into rooms just having orgies every night. I'm like, you fucking like 15 guys a night. Yeah, true. And she was like, so that's fine. And I was like, and I was like, it's not though. It's like medically, it's not. And that's what I was like, it's not though. It's like medically it's not. And that's what I was saying. I was like, if I went out and 10 different guys nutted in my butt, you would go, hey, you have a problem.

Yeah. But she was like, no, that's fine, dude. What do you care? They're using condoms. They're being safe. And I was like, first of all, nah. OK. Nah.

Yeah, trust me. Clearly, clearly, nah. Trust me, daddy. It's just dudes. We're not using condoms bro. Yeah, dude, but then I was like if I went and fucked ten women a night For three days. Mm-hmm. Every one of my friends would be like yo, yeah chill. What the fuck are you doing? Chill. Yeah, not one person would be like that's cool No, everyone would be upset If you're if it's gay people

No, everyone would be upset It's gay people Time I might under the table give you a pretty sad same time. I would be like a king. It would be over Yeah, I blow my head off at the end I'm a god This boy might not work the way the bullet might not work if I fuck ten ladies and we sure I might be God Oh, that would be I'm trying to think about the mechanics of that I think I would just roll around in them. Yeah, you just steam. I was rolling around Yeah, Dutch oven ten women get

That would be funny just ripping out dude I fucking fartinging during the orgies. I ripped ass at orange theory this morning That was my my bad class dude. I and I just kept a straight face That guy It was so bad I had to just keep fucking like I didn't even break I was like fucking stick dude fucking the bullshit You eat all the healthy shit. Yeah, man. It was a chaos. It was not a good one. I'll tell you that Yeah, Rogi's drops fucking fire Constantly

Broccoli gets you to broccoli has like sulfur in it actually so when you eat a lot of broccoli you get Like broccoli farts are specific. Hellish, literally. Fire and brimstone farts. They're very bad. But yeah, dude, with the, and this isn't even like a, I have no position about gay stuff, but there's a new disease that apparently is from, like it's like a gay disease, and it's like penile ringworm,

which by the way, I didn't have, that was eczema. I swear to God, I had eczema. But they're like, there's a new ringworm, and I'm like, oh shit, penile ringworm, let me read about this. You got that over the summer too I didn't have that was eczema. I swear to God I had eczema. But they were like there's a new ringworm and I'm like oh shit, penile ringworm, let me read about this. You got that over the summer too didn't you? No, I had eczema before I left. I feel like it was hot out.

I had, I just had like, gooch ass. I feel like it was June. No I had gooch ass. I had like, when I first moved down here. Gooch ass could happen to anybody. That's what I'm saying. And I had eczema on my penis I found out. It wasn't ringworm.

The ringworm was a miscalculator. The doctors were like, it usually doesn't do that. And I had to put the cream on it and just would get 40 times worse. Wasn't until one of the sweet angels at Center City Dermatology were like, try this out. Yeah, I had to show her my. You showed her your cock at the store.

Mangled, dude. You went down to the urgent care and showed a lady your cock. No, the urgent care, I showed a big black guy in my penis. How did he feel about it? He was a professional. Nice. It was him and two nurses and I was like, oh fuck dude. It couldn't get any worse.

He was very pro about it though. He was just like, mm-hmm. I was like, bro. He said thank you. I did not break eye contact the whole time. You have to maintain eye contact You gotta go something's wrong with my cock daddy I'm here you guys there's something wrong with my dick fix it so he's looking at I was like you may have won the battle

But you have not won the war But yeah, no there was like a ring, and this was just from the news. Like yeah, it's like it's been, there's been a wave of like dick ringworm hitting gay guys. And it's like, damn bros, chill. Come on, man. Get that. I mean, I get it. Like I said, it could happen to anyone. Maybe it was Exxon.

I might have to go talk, do a little speaking circuit, gay community. Do that at the Pride parade? Careful before the... Just hold up a sign and just say, yeah if anybody wants to talk I'll be handing out pamphlets Yeah Do not put low trim in on your penis unless you know for a fact that it's ringworm Because it will dry your thing out You will not be able to get naked at the pride parade the kids are gonna be disappointed watching The kids are gonna be sad your cocks not gonna be able to float this year

I watched one of the interviews of a guy that you think it's fucking cool to have your dick out around kids He's like I don't see any kids here and they're like there's kids right over there. He goes. I didn't know that Rather big dude get out of here. He's like I didn't know that Where was he where do you have his dick out the park just in like that? He was just walking around while the parade was going on Where do you have his dick out at the park just in the day? He was just walking around while the parade was going on Which is like my thing is like stop a it's like yeah, I probably don't get naked and do gay stuff I don't need to be straight. Don't bring your fucking kids to the pride parade. Definitely don't bring your kids to the private We gotta get here about who's allowed

We're done with this topic We got to get more strict laws on who can have the dick and ass out true because right now it's just homeless and gay people true you know I mean you talking about we got to break down the barriers we have to say anyone's dick out is bad or everyone can have their dick out because right now it's just gay guys in June and homeless people 24-7 it's true they get a pass no matter what dude the sun on your dick does feel great. I don't think I've had that It's Fantastic, bro told you I just saw my When I thought I had ringworm on my dick I used to sun my dick in the car

I would drive and I would just bust it out You bust your dick out while you drive I was discreet about obviously yeah, I would just bust it I would as you're vibrating on 676 There's children on While you're dry I was discreet about obviously yeah, I would just bust it. I would as you're vibrating on 676 Yeah, I would pull my dick out let the Sun just hit it cuz I thought it maybe would like But it was just it was just eggs my was the demon fucking gluten It was the actually not gluten is the ag gluten protein as I told you that's what fucked your dong up Mm-hmm like it eggs moan I started eating the white man's grain Eating the motherfucking white man's grain wheat get that shit out of here. I hate the white man's grain. Can't stand it, bro

Well, I only eat the black man's grains me too What would you say it is King wah, what would be the black man's grain? King wah. I don't know. That's a good question. The. What would be the black man's grain? Quinoa. I don't know. That's a good question. Lamar, what is the black man's grain? Uncle Ben's rice. Yeah, fuck.

I couldn't think of one that wasn't blatantly, stupidly racist. Yeah, Uncle Ben's rice got discontinued, by the way. Really? Yeah. Why? Because it's racist. You can't have a black spokesperson.

Yeah. That's racist you can't have a you can't have a black spokesperson. Yeah That's racist but in every single commercial it's not racist yeah, yeah, you know now it's like pearl milling Sounds like a black lady. No Zadarans. Huh? Zadarans was that Iran's it was like no it was like New Orleans rice They're like sad every What's is there a fucking black guy with a bow tie on the cover? He had like a saxaphone, yeah. Is Zadarans still up? I hope, dude. It was good rice.

He better get you some rice. Zadarans. Zadarans sounds good. Zadarans, jump alive. Jump alive fucking rules. Oh my god Nice it remains. I was someone has a fucking spine in the food community There's no black man on it. They took him off. God damn it. Why can't black dudes be on food products?

What the fuck is going on? Why people get offended it true. You put out an inch of mama in front of me I'm gonna go Not after what happened to George Floyd Get rid of that You're squeezing out the syrup like I'm so sorry George Get that syrup bottle what would you got? Rick Moranis was like I got this guy's don't worry Why'd you shriek my ass, Rick? Motherfucker, though, shrunk my ass. Shrunk my ass on the goddamn Jumbal Eye Box.

There's that motherfucker right there. One of the eyes, lucky day. I forgot he got knocked the fuck out. Yeah, knocked the fuck out. He was a victim of BLM, dude, and everybody had to just be like, hey. To be fair, someone might have thought he was an old Asian lady That's just the cost of war dude knocking out I would never condone senseless acts of violence

We just knock it out Rick Berman. This is so fucking- So wild. Oh shit. How's Rick doing? I think he might have CTE. Laughter I mean it's truly- Wow, truly how the fuck do you knock out Rick Berman?

It's so rude to knock him out, but He's the nicest looking guy He's probably a fucking dick Look at his little ass Get the fuck out of the way You black bitch Ah He's probably nasty as hell What's this? No I don't have a this? No, I don't have a...

Oh, fuck. Yeah. Sorry, I don't have any change. No, I won't let you pump my gas. Ow, shit. Ow. Is it on video? Or just it's just like it was reported.

Was he on video? Yeah. Yeah. It's a guy just walking down the street next to him. It just socked him. Going this way. Yeah. Fuck, it's a guy just walking down the street next to him. It is socked them going this Yeah Fuck man. Oh my god

Hopefully he's recovered. All right, Rick Moranis punched YouTube It happened yesterday on West 70th Street near Central Oh shit This is a picture they have of the suspect Moranus suffered injuries to his head, back and hip but is expected to recover For the actor says he is grateful for everyone's thoughts and well wishes. Sorry. That's good. Thanks, Tarzan.

Damn, dude. He's grateful for all the thoughts and prayers. Would have caught me, bro. He would have caught me. Yeah, with the headphones in. I do stay jammed. Yeah, yeah. You'd think he would have.

I just love saying that. Yeah. But no, I would've, I'm completely unaware when I walk around most of the time. Jamming pretty hard, loss in thought. That guy would've, what am I going to say? He was going to dress like fucking Sub-Zero. Yeah, full Sub-Zero with the I Heart New York sweatshirt on.

Yeah. Especially if he's walking, he's walking pretty fast. I'd have one eye on him, I'm not being racist, I swear. But. As I just heard, Rick Moranis got punched in the head. Rick Moranis got knocked out. Now all the whites need to be vigilant. Damn, he was old enough too,

where his hips got fucked up from falling. That's a shame. Poor Rick. He'll be all right. Rick had a, what a life. True. Yeah, man. You got sick of the years.

He stopped acting because his wife died. Really? And then he started, he became a musician. Did he really? Yeah. That's kinda sick. Damn. You did a great run.

Ghostbusters, Spaceballs, Honey I Shrunk the Kids. How many Honey Shrunk the Kids? How many times did you shrink them kids? Flintstones, he shrunk the kids a bunch. There's like three Honey. I shot the kids They were so cool to me. I 92 97 you're exactly right. They're three shot the key. Yeah, I think I seen all I Used to love that dude when he'd be down in the grass. I bet come on man get these motherfuckers down in the grass That's like my favorite shit to look at

Yeah, yeah, I love that was very exciting I think they had if you went to Universal Studios back in the day You could do the honey. I shrunk the kids you could like get up in that grass. Damn. You know, it's crazy in 2020 after a hiatus of nearly 23 years Moranis agreed to do a new sequel to honey. I shrunk the kids called shrunk and on October 1st 2020 Miranda's October 1st 2020 Miranda Scott By an interdimensional time traveler, they said we can't have a strong shrunk changes the world, dude I need to go back in time and knock out Rick Moranis Morpheus is like you must stop

Here is your disguise Poor Rick for Rick. Yes, you know know I wish everyone stopped fighting like that yeah what else is going on we covered all the hot topics covered all flying through topics we were ripping back to the debate the debate did make me awfully sad dude I got I still I think I've heard people say this too, but it's like How could that possibly be? The two people out of all the people who go to like all these Ivy League schools and other schools How is that I'd vote for Francis Ellis? I do for real Francis should be president. Yeah, he would be

He'd be fantastic. He'd be Hitler pretty quick. You think he'd Hitler out? Francis? He's so genteel. That's a facade, bro. That guy is definitely evil. That guy is definitely an evil motherfucker. No, he's never going to be the president. Yeah, of course, everybody in the country would know those two.

But I was wondering, because I've watched, I'm sure you have too, but I've been watching Biden. This was the first time the whole country got to see him in action I've watched a ton of his speeches over the last two years Yeah, he gives them very rarely, but I watch them and they're crazy He did one at NCA and T like a year ago that I was watching. I was like Holy fuck like this guy's he walked around shook hands with no one Yeah, and it was like this guy's gone and then finally the whole country got to see it, but it's like I was confused as to how

How the Democrats? How did they allow this? Like why why that's what they knew this couldn't work. Yeah, why did they allow it? Well, I guess I don't I've wondered about this too But I guess now if they were to have him step down it would make them look like they fucked up So they're probably like who's good. He's good. I can't for life of me figured out. I don't know if I'm a Republican I'm promoting. I'm if I'm Fox News or any type of Republican propagandists I'm saying Joe Biden's the man for the next few months and then October comes around you go JK

Dude, this guy's a don'ts get rid of him Yeah, true. They're the longer they keep him on the ticket the bigger landslide. This is gonna be maybe there's a big fight Cuz I know newson they probably want to tap newson, but then I'm hearing I don't know if it's true Yeah Michelle Obama. Yeah, say her fucking name. Don't you dare piece of shit. I can't believe you would call her but that It's not funny Sean Gardini you don't act like that It's not you don't act like that not a funny fucking room. We don't talk about that rumor ever. I heard a little Michelle's gonna run Petite tiny Michelle

Feminine Michelle Michelle Obama and Gavin Newsom and then Kamala obviously I did the odds right now or Kamala and Biden Those are the if you go to the Vegas odds of next president. They're gonna run him back Trump's got the best odds Then Biden and Kamala. Those are the Vegas odds That's crazy, but the odds change significantly after the debate. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, dude. I thought everyone knew he was fucked. No one ever watches. Yeah, I guess so. No one.

You can't see him give a speech. Yeah. That's not a complete teleprompter. Dude, just like the, I like fell bags. I watch people reveling in it. It's like, dude, he's fucking Alzheimer's, dude. People are like, he's a fucking piece of shit. It's like, he shouldn't be in that position at all. Yeah, it's it's sad. I've been on some like get him the fuck out of here. It's like bro. Let the guy rest

He needs yeah, that's a man chill put some slippers on you. How quickly do you think he dies when he's? after he loses the election Fast yeah, I mean they probably have him God knows what kind of cocking jacked He was for that debate and then nothing worked We have him God knows what kind of cocked he was for that debate and then nothing worked Yeah, they probably like a Michael Jackson's doctor having him like right on the edge Cuz he just like the like when he wasn't talking he would just be like

You just put a blacked out dude on there. Yeah, like a regular guy with a normal guy That's hammered and he would have done better Yeah, I really think this year I've never so much malarkey my life dude You're the baby. You're a baby. I got a six handicap All right, I got a handicap But he got real mad at one point they talked about like the losers Chill and there's no losers Do you go lay down please I For real like I'm not saying that like the rub it in his face. I want the guy to rest

I genuinely want him to lay down take it easy because it's not I feel like right now. This is like the They're like shit. It's like a snake shedding the skin, and they're just like dead skin. Yeah, it's just worth It's gonna be doing something you have to be it's gotta be totally different in four years Otherwise, I don't know really what's gonna happen It's got to be totally different in four years. Otherwise, I don't know really what's gonna happen So there's no way that guys is he for real does he have actual responsibilities and a job or is it purely a symbolic? Position I think with him it's very symbolic, but it's like a how It's like it doesn't inspire. It's nothing inspiring. You don't watch him. You're like

Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess was. I guess he had that like Obama runoff then he started kind of slipping in there like Yeah, there was a few years he could have Been he could give a speech, you know. Yeah now he's he's out. He's done smoking Joe Biden He's smoking Joe smoking Joe dude. All right, Peter legend true Alright, I did like when he fucking legend when he grits his teeth and gets pissed, it's OK. Calling veteran losers, my son is a fucking veteran. Fuck you.

The moon that scared me tonight at the hotel. Black Eyed Lit kicked me. Well, dude, now they're trying to say that his wife is like maniacally driving his presidency like she's not the only thing she does is grab Him to make him walk. I it's she only physically controls him There's like long tweets were like in jills behind it all Do you know Jill grabbed him after the show and grabbed his hair and said listen you motherfucker? You're gonna run. It's like

Where did you get this from? There's a guy on Twitter and she fucking I know for for a fact, she grabbed his throat and said, listen bitch, you run over on it. Did you watch him walk off the stage? Did you see that clip? I did, I heard about it. It's a tough one. You did all the questions. Trump dog walks off like a human. Yeah.

You go, alright, that's my president. He can walk. True. And then it cuts back to Joe getting led down one step and he has to sidestep it. Oh no. It's like, bro, I've been there. I've been that drunk, dude. I know what that's like. That's hell.

Crab walking down the steps. A curb, dude. Getting to a curb and having to turn sideways and go. All right, I'm good. I can get back to the hotel. Yeah, didn't she like congratulate him on answering all the questions like you answered all the questions. Yeah It's just a shame dude, it's a shame and it's it's like you watch people revel in it like yeah Look at this fucking peach like dude, it's not good for you. I agree It's bad for your soul to be sitting here like this old piece of shit fuck. Yeah, look at this old sack of shit

I hope he dies I didn't like it when people would do it when Democrats would do it about like when Scalia died They're like rotten hell you fucking piece of shit. Yeah, dude. That can't be good. They're gonna do it to Clarence Somersome can't be good. They're on his ass. Yeah, I know they hate him They did that fucking that high-tech lynching on him long a long time Yeah, some bullshit Glenn talks about his memoir. They did do that. I know intense. It's fucking bullshit. Although wasn't it? Uh, Franklin scandal has him tied up in it. Really? Yeah She got you don't know who to trust these days. You don't fuck Lamar

Where we at time wise, Gordini? Woo, baby. I love that. Keep it going. I'm gonna pull my dick out. Matt. Nothing, you can what? Oh, true.

It's sick. I didn't know you were spinning something. Yeah. I didn't know it was pride. You're allowed to take your cock out in the park. You go, ooh. I'm gay. I am gay's pride you're love to take your cock out the park I'm gay I am fuck you look at my dick fuck you Why would next year is that that's also got to hit a point where that gets you they're like okay?

This is it again. I gave you I think gay people are hitting that fucking like all right. Let's chill. Yeah, let's chill This is becoming about being an old gay, dude Yeah, seeing the young generation be like let's chill. This has become the- Think about being an old gay dude. Yeah. Seeing the young generation be like, woo, we get to flaunt it in the streets. It's like, we had to do that through like fire hoses. Yeah. You're in a sweater with like your old boyfriend.

We got our asses beat for this. You see like a 23 year old's butthole and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. Check out my asshole, ass. I had to fight so hard for this. You didn't do anything. Everybody's been holding your cock the whole time.

Yeah, everyone's, everyone's for real stoked on you. Everyone's been so your cock the whole time. Yeah, everyone's for real stoked on you. Everyone's been so stoked that you were gay. Yeah, true. For the last 15 years. Yeah, man. I mean, again, that's the other thing too. It is pretty easy to avoid the pride parade. It is.

All these guys are like, I'm down there fucking, it's like, yeah, don't breathe, first of all, don't breathe. I've never seen it. And if someone brings their kids to a bunch of naked men, that's on them. That is on them. That's their business. That should be a crime Yeah, it's not the gay dudes dancing in the street. If you're if your kid sees them you go to jail Bingo. Yes jail or Execution a YouTube channel comes and says what the fuck you're doing, dude

What's the fuck dude, I will say my have you are you going Twitter a lot now or X Sometimes it's crazy. What's going on there? I was ever was like, oh X is getting crazy the videos I I don't I wouldn't oh, yeah, it's growing much for sure. My fucking feet on X is nuts I trust I'm watching like pedophiles get shot Yeah, I saw a pedophile get shot outside of a place. I kind of like holding this bottle and talking to this gets powerful. It is powerful. Yeah, my my ex-feed is like I will say I can't stop looking at it. It's like pedophiles getting shot, libs getting owned and I'm like dude, this is my last video. I gotta stop.

That was the one. That kind of set me off on the airplane where I started the kind of question What's going on between our two presidential candidates? That lady becoming something of a national kind of fixture and it's again nothing against the lady seems mighty nice Yeah, there's why why are we putting why are we elevating? That everyone knows that it's a great thing for a young lady to spit on someone's penis I Everyone knows that it's a great thing for a young lady to spit on someone's penis. I Don't like it. It's just I'll tell you that yeah, it's nice It's cool But I hear what you're saying in the in the midst of the action the lady especially a lady of that age spat on your

Penis you'd be like ma'am who corrupted you you don't have to spit upon it Maybe after maybe the next day. I'll go fuck was it Yeah, I mean again, it's like that southern accent be like I'm gonna suck your dick right now that okay I would go like it man That's a fair point some horrors hell. Thank you, ma'am. That's the thing about the political party They can't ever agree that the other person might be right So if we were running against each other, I would go Shane you bring up a fair point. I'm Horace Hill. Thank you, ma'am. That's the thing about the political party. They can't ever agree that the other person might be right. So if we were running against each other, I would go. Shane, you bring up a good point right there.

I appreciate you and I acknowledge you. Southern accent, talking about blow jobs. Southern accent head. That is great. Southern accent head. Yes, that did captivate the entire country and for a good reason. Southern accent head does rule. Now I'm seeing it. Now I'm seeing it.

Maybe it's not all about the numbers. I was lost on a thing. We were entering a realm or age of just pure quantity. No quality. Yeah. But maybe it is. Maybe there's actually an aesthetic beauty with the southern lady being like, yeah. Yeah.

I'll slap on that. There's also, that is tough. It could be really difficult for her for the rest of her life. Dude, yeah. You get one month of fame as the spit-on-the-cock girl Yeah, and then the rest of your life. Sorry daddy. Oh Daddy, I didn't know she's got that accent. He's got it way worse. He must really that Shaq picture would fucking would fucking devastate me. Oh Lord. You get your ass home here right now, Annalise.

Annalise is about to go. Stop spittin' on peckers on the internet. I saw a video, now I didn't see it, but somebody brought it to my attention. You've been, and I don't even wanna say it over the phone, but you've been spittin' on guys' peckers. What the hell are you doin'? I seen you in the phone, but you've been spitting on guys' peckers. What the hell are you doing? I see you in the big city Nashville and the next thing I know you're on the internet talking about spitting on Shaquille O'Neal's fucking cock.

What the fuck? What the fuck happened down there? Oh man, I can't stop thinking about you, Shaquille O'Neal and his tiny Chinese wife in his giant bed and you're spitting on his pecker. I understand he is married to a Chinaman. The disrespect you showed her is not even about the family. The disrespect you showed Shaquille O'Neal's Chinaman wife. Next thing I know, Sir Charles will have you kabobbed right with Shaquille O'Neal. Sir Charles.

Next thing I know, I'm gonna be watching the NBA and you're gonna be getting fucking spit roasted at halftime on the fucking Halftime Report. That's my favorite show. Those guys are a fucking cut up. Those men will destroy you, Annalise. Annalise, you don't know the type of hell you're bringing upon yourself. Sir Charles and the Big Aristotle. They would put a hurting on you girl. Now come home.

Yeah she needs some good home cooking man. She needs a fucking bowl of Zamatazz. Your wife hides the Zamatazz. are slut daughter's home. She's famous Infamous look daughter Well, I wish you're not you must have so many gentlemen callers now at the house Oh my god waiting in the parlor for yeah, dude in the salon the Paula You've got another gentleman caller. It's Shaquille O'Neal You've got another gentleman caller. It's Shaquille O'Neal Yeah, and the other guy who like blew up like that was the I always forget his name I just have a bad memory of names all Anthony

Oliver who was the guy? Oliver Anthony I always make sure that he was singing though. He's exactly. Well, he's still chillin now I was wondering how he was gonna handle cuz he like was working man's champion They're like, here's a ten million dollar tour deal tour deal and he I was like I wonder how he's gonna handle that and he seems to be chilling Just puts out songs and YouTube's every now. I think everybody would be like yeah take that yeah take that take I think he made them blow to take I think he didn't want the tickets to be too high I tried don't do it brother. Yeah, they're gonna scalp you anyway. Everything's getting scalped I think I figured out a way to get around scalping by the way. Oh

You people can only buy tickets from your own personal website I Think that'll hurt ticket sales Good point But and most The venues have a deal with live nation and got ticket master and all that so here's what I was gonna say This is my other idea Do a show every now and again where you just sell a bunch of tickets,

let the scalpers buy all the tickets, cancel the show, and then they're fucked. And you guys, you boys wanna keep playing around, I could do that anytime. What about the people that bought it? Tell them, say, hey guys, I'm on my podcast, don't buy the tickets. Guys.

Hey guys, I'm gonna do a fake show. Don't buy the tickets. No, Hey guys, I'm gonna do a fake show. Don't buy the tickets. No, you just have to raise ticket prices. Because right now I'm significantly too low. And the scalpers buy them up. And the scalpers buy all the cheap ones. Sons of bitches. I'd like to hawk two on there.

I'd like to spit on their pedises. I'd hawk two right on their cocks. We did it. will happy fourth of July What are you gonna do to celebrate the fourth? I'm gonna go home visit my family Oh, you're going to the city the freedom Visit my family what a great place to celebrate hold hands hold hands and prayers say guys I don't know what the hell is going on this country some this whole country is going to hell in a hand basket but I'm telling you we're going we're gonna make a harmonic leap to the next level it's coming

You have to go through all this we have to uh let the current machinations expose themselves which they have Clearly Yes, don't make that face on You're on fucking face of me. What's been going on since I've been gone is Sean big is he a big is he big big? Yes, you're the Hawk to boy You're gonna be on 6th Street talking about spitting on pussies No, thank you guys, so be we'll see you next time