Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 514 - Back Together Yay (feat. WARMODE)

Episode Date: September 9, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Warmode @ https://www.patreon.com/warmode Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Go See Shawn Gardini in TEMPE and SLC this week if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/ WuZzzzzzz Guddd guyz :) The D.A.W.G.Z. have been reunited. Blessed in Warmode HQ. Praise be. Mashallah. Chopped it up for a classic 2 hr cast sesh. A nice little broadcast to start your week. Please enjoy. God Bless you all. ttyl Download the iBotta app on Google Play or in the App Store and use code DRENCHED for a free $5 Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched for a first deposit match up to $100 Upgrade your wardrobe and get up to 25% OFF @trueclassic at https://trueclassictees.com/DRENCHED! #trueclassicpod

Heads up, we started. Sup guys? Sup. Dude, you guys have no idea what it's like looking back on this from Texas, just trying to crawl through my computer screen. I wish I was there. Come on, let me through. We needed you here.

The brothership has not been strong. The broship's been- What's up with the broship? I never even hang out with these guys. We took a hit, bro. What happened to the broship? What's that? What happened to the broship?

Well, personally, I want to get wings-ship? What's that? What happened to the bro-ship? Well, personally, I want to get wings. But this has been for like three days. Shane Lutty was saying he wanted to call you yesterday. For three days. Dude, for three days, I've had this weird thing where all I think about in my head is like, I should go get wings.

And I've gained like 20 pounds in like three weeks. I gained weight pretty quickly, dude. I got one. You know the Philadelphia Hoagies that are on like, Sarcone's rolls? I got one of those. You're only supposed to eat half of that. And then I was like, dude, after like 45 minutes, I was like, I'll just finish it.

What are you doing after the puck? We're getting wings. We're getting wings. We're getting wings, yeah. All right, why don't we have wings and Bruce Keys near helium. Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's fine.

So I'll be buzzed up. Dude, we went to a restaurant. Massive L's. We went to a restaurant to go get wings. The first one was closed. No, it was open. It was it opens at four. We got there at 415. What the fuck? They were like, we're not ready yet.

It was a fucking graveyard. And then just one day walked out. It was like, hey, y'all's kitchen doesn't open for another. I got you. Yeah. I was like, why do they all say y'all too? By the way, we're literally just say y'all and choose. Yeah. Cheers. And Fishtown makes me want to kill myself. We went to a place that I thought for sure would have wings. They changed their menu up.

They changed your menu up to like real fancy shit. Like bill got croquettes. Yeah. They're tape tops, bro. I got the hash browns from Dunkin Donuts three of them for eleven eleven bucks three they fucked me Ah, and then I got a car accident yesterday. What russian bills my counsel. I probably shouldn't speak on it. Yeah, please Oh, yeah, I wanted to wear a suit taking litigation. Yeah, I was just like fuck. I guess it's my fault and then bills like Bills like fuck this there go. I'm They're going to attack by a domestic terrorist. I got hit with a Russian Lyft driver. Oh, honestly, counsel. Can I speak?

Yeah, you can talk about it. Good advice. And is really witness to not him. I was banging a right in a one lane street and the guy hit the back of me. How is it? It's not your fault. It is my fault. No, from behind. It's not your fault. It is my fault. No, if you get hit from behind, it's not your fault.

See, this is why I can't talk. Paul, it's not your fault. If you get hit from behind your car, it's not your fault. This is why. It's literally, that's why people pull in front of you and jam their brakes. Bill? Exactly right, you're innocent.

Spud, are you ready? Spud got hit with one save our person who's going, well, it's your fault. He goes, okay, I guess it's my fault. No, it's not. They're like, are you ready to begin the recording? I was like, Oh, yeah. They got to make him or making a murder or whatever. Did you agree? Yeah, I didn't even, I was like, yeah. See I fucked up.

Dude bill went to the gym and then he went to the crime scene and videotaped it and sent it to State Farm. It's a good lawyer. They don't know. Call C. Breezy. And then you harassed me on the street. Yeah, I harassed you. After you knocked the case down.

You cannot harass me. Also, I have good litigation against you. You ran a red light. I did. Dude, I made the biggest scene. Ran a red light while honking my horn, screaming, Shay! I was just carrying my coffees, dude. I was just being a good guy.

Yeah. Colby. You're going to ruin your, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, scene ran a red light while honking my horn screaming, I just carry my coffees. Yeah. I was just being a good guy. Yeah. You're going to ruin your plausibility to represent what you lost your plausibility. How you ran a red light and I got has nothing to do with the case. If you want to take me to court for on that red light, we can handle that. Did you run that because you already said you run it.

You said you're allegedly running a red light. No, you said it already. You literally said this has nothing to do with it. Don't talk about this. Stay with my current. What's the tort situation? What's occurring? Toro? I don't know. I learned about that junior year of high school. I don't remember. We got to check into the torts.

Yeah, there's I had a guy I got just crashed. Somebody just nailed me. Well, guy, I got just crashed. Some lady just nailed me. Well, I'll take it. Let me play. Some lady just nailed my car. She had no insurance. And I had like the worst of the worst insurance. And I called a lawyer and he's like, I checked the torts.

He's like, they're just going to write you a check for $3,500. I remember this, dude. This was when your car was beached for like a year. Yeah, man. That was crazy. Did I ever tell you the whole situation with that? What this is a crazy story, dude so the lady Just nailed my car fucked me up airbags deployed

Came out of it like I gotta get the light. Yeah, yeah I told my civic came out got the license plate off the lady and she just when was it? This was like 26 17 you guys were doing the podcast 18 18. I think you might have got ct Sleep after that dude, I didn't sleep for real for four days and I wasn't tired brother. It was I was TBI dude Yeah, it fucked me up pretty badly and uh, that's still Sansa. Maybe get monetary Dude, why so we become retarded from a car accident? That's still sans maybe get monetary dude like so become retarded from a car accident Get a billboard bill on it, but do though the whole story is kind of nuts cuz I I got her I got a license plate. I got a license plate. So I use my police contacts. You're more in the law

I'm more into like the behind of the shield, right? So I My police contacts. I got her address and an officer. I knew at the time You can't you can do the police can do that. Can they comedy podcast that please can't do that for a friend Well, what about a lover of power is it abuse of power, you know, these comedians I can't tell the rest of the story is way more than good power. What'd you do? I Got that. Okay. So as the story story legend has, I heard of somebody who did this. Story time, y'all. We went to the house and it was in not the best neighborhood, so I didn't want to get recognized. So I just got to like sit there and chill while someone I knew who, you know, whatever,

went up to the door, knocked up and was like, yo, where's the person? Like, oh, they're not here. They're not here. And they're like, look, man, we just want to like, you know, there was a hit and run, it's a serious incident. Just, they should're not here ball. And they're like look man I'm I we just want to like you know there was a hit-and-run is a serious incident Just they should do the right thing and they went actually and they ended up did like going and turn themselves in they didn't get Any trouble I didn't press charges, but then later on the person who hit me called my police contact and Literally told they're like how can we make officer officer my daughter suffered a terrible thing somebody videotaped her sucking their dick and put it on Facebook what can we do they're like

Yeah As a bitch y'all that's all I'm saying Karma's a bitch. Yeah, it was bad. I felt actually felt bad. You were you were probably like I actually we should probably review the tape I said I was like you make us whole you can be I said I was like you make us whole you can be Shit that was all that's all fiction. That's just read justice. Yeah I gotta stop drinking water right in the microphone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry y'all not cheers. I got CDs, bro I hit now. I got dude the airbag deployed and by the way there was There's a scratch off your face up dude is brother most people would hit my forearm

I was quicker than the airbag swear to God it came at me. I went like that and it scuffed my forearm not lying That's super yeah, you were probably covering up for the accident news. I see the accident dude I saw the lady pulled out. I was listening to uh Fuck what was the song? Fuck it's by like it's not like Jane's addiction. I think it's Jane's addiction Getting an accident to rooster would be sick. What, Alison changes? Dude, let me see if I can find this, because it's like, it's kind of embarrassing. So I'll listen to it every now and again, and I'm like...

Damn, that was a serious accident. I didn't know how bad it was. Dude, my airbag deployed, and I remember I saw the car, I was like, fuck, hit it. It probably hurt like, fuck. What? It probably hurt having your arm fucking came to your fuck. No, I probably hurt having your alarm dude It fucking hurt like hell. I was I was I lost consciousness I was out and I came to and was just like What the fuck and just saw that car and was like bitch. You could have become a paraplegia, bro

This is true. Did your airbag deploy in your car accident with the tractor trailer when you're trying to your game? No, there's went under? Yeah. Damn, that's scary. Then he kept driving. It was so scary. He kept driving. Wait, what happened? During COVID.

Remember Shane during COVID took his dad or mom's car? I borrowed my mom's car to go to Best Buy to buy a- You went into a tractor trailer? I, I needed, look, I needed my NCAA. I needed an HDMI cord for the Xbox 360. I was like, mom, can I please borrow the CRV to take the Best Buy to buy this cord? I pulled it in the right lane.

I pulled into a returning right lane. A tractor trailer was making a legal right turn for the record. Literally a sign out that says no right turn. The tractor trailer didn't see me pull up next to him and just slowly turn. So I just watched the trailer. The trailer just, I was like, yo, yo. I just watched it hit me. And then he kept driving.

He couldn't see me. So I was like, oh shit, I'm under your truck. The wheels were right next to the door. It could have been the end of you, bro. No, it would have been a real slow death. I wouldn't have moved. I would have been too lazy. I was like, oh, here it comes. I would have been too lazy. I was like, here it comes. And then I drove the car home and I was like, Dad, can I borrow your car? And he got my dad's car and drove the best one. I needed dubs. That's all you could do. That's all I could do. I was thinking about getting a gaming system yesterday. I was watching like Call of Duty videos.

I'm really missing out on this. You're going to be furious. I'm really missing out on this. You're going to be furious. The new games. They're hard? No, they're just woke. You're gonna be serious. The new games. They're hard? No, they're just... Oh, woke. They're rewriting World War 2? Yeah, they did.

Did you guys watch Drag? Did you watch Dragon's House? You can do a Black Lady Dita. Many such cases. You watch House of Dragons yet? No. That's kick-ass feminist Game of Thrones. It was good for a while. And dude, they got rid of all the dicks for some reason. There's no dicks pussy Barely any pussy two girls kiss finally it takes like

Dude I was watching that and Brittany was like no no and I was like yes This is so unnecessary. I was like this makes sense man. This is fine medieval times these girls I said when necessary. I was like, this makes sense, man. This is fine. It was medieval times. These girls are. It was back then. It was medieval times. It's the queen just making out with an old prostitute.

Well, they used to do that. Yeah. True. Historically accurate. It is. No, it is. That it's all about men being dumb and women. It's about men just being dumb and women being like,

let's really change history. Yeah. What happens at the end? It slowly morphs into it. I haven't gotten to the end yet. Everything fall apart. I haven't seen thes into I haven't gotten to the end yet. Everything fall apart Gets a dragon and burns down the entire city. Yeah. Yeah, probably that's it has the last one ended Yeah, it's fucking bull. Did you see the whole thing? I watched the original Game of Thrones me too. Yeah, that was good

Our art is pissed. I saw that yeah I didn't see you get on today I he said he was going to and then I never followed her and J. R. Roland should team up. J. K. Roland, J. K. My man. CTS back. Even J. K. Roland team up. That'd be nice. This is right. The ultimate. Yeah. Buck the ultimate straight magic book straight as fuck. No trans now fucking what's it called? Game of Thrones does nothing on true detective season four or whatever night country that No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, being like come in the pussy yeah why don't you toss one of your come loogies in my pussy the one dude's like huge sitting on tub like why are you gonna leave I don't come back for my toothbrush brother that was that to be fair I'm not trying to sound real gay that was kind of turned me on watching him watch that guy's sub that hard was kind of turn away when the Native American lady was right yeah we all gonna send that wasn't happening? Force come.

Yeah. We got the hottest floss. Yeah, but when he would lay in like silk sheets, he'd be like, where are you going? Come on, man. You can't do that. Just silk sheet. Just used.

Bro, you're subbing so hard. It's getting. Wait, come back. I need somebody. Oh. You're going out of your dangerous night shift, Joe? Yeah, I remember she took her toothbrush and rolled like it was like some powerful thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not ready for this commitment.

It's enough of that. Yeah. I mean, then when she gets the DUI, then when she pulls the drug driver out, yeah, that was crazy. Sounded like South Park. So fucking dumb. I just watched Salsa lamps too, to see her go from that to that. It was so fucking dumb. I just watched Salsa Lamps too. To see her go from that to that, it's like fucked up. It's crazy they're trying to compare Longlegs

to Science of the Lambs. No, no, no, no. Bro, Longlegs, I was pumped for that. I was, you know, you guys know me, I love a good spooky movie. Yeah, you do. I was fucked in the ass on that movie. Are you serious?

Yeah, I watched it. They're like 25 bucks too. Couldn't believe that, man. What was up with them? 25 on Longlegs? Dude, I watched it. They're like 25 bucks. I couldn't believe that, man. What was up with them? 25 on long legs? Dude, I'm just trying to watch flicks. Right, I hear you, dude. I hit 20 on The Mule.

Amazon has... It's a night in the theater, yeah. The Mule. The Mule. Clint Eastwood. Dude, have you ever seen The Perfect World? It's a good ass Clint Eastwood movie. That's all my...

Kevin Toxler's in it. That's next on my list. I watched a good Churchill one last night. Dude, if you have Amazon, you your fucking money. They have every movie ever Yeah, Amazon kind of does crush it and they're like 12 bucks twisters is still holding it. Number one twister sucks What happened to it did like ladies block A lady can just she uses her fucking feminine intuition. She can tell which way to Beautiful piano music you're being serious. It's where to go. She tricks all the dudes to while she's doing it. She's like it's over there

Just so she could wire the dudes are like turned into their chase Chasers can we have something bro? It's just their pig is nature just men's pig ish nature. We need women to step in Yeah, Kamala's gonna do it. Supposedly that her head, I think is a fucking lie. Yeah. I believe that because Twister's Kamala's bitch, I'm just saying they came out the thing saying that she got in a hit run in San Francisco and they're saying it's Russian disenfies that automatically makes me think it's true. I think they didn't run and what hits in 2011 in San Francisco. I don't think it's not real.

That was Biden's brother who did that. Biden's brother killed someone I think down in Florida or something and got away. Frank Biden. Frank Biden. Did he really? Yeah, 100%. Hunter just pleaded guilty to fucking.

Gatsy and that thing on him. No, he pleaded tax evasion. What? Yeah. Is he going to go to jail? 17 years, but you know. How the fuck do you tax evade when your dad's the president? Why? Just be like, dad, can you erase my taxes, please? tax evade when your dad's the president and why is just like dad

Can you erase my taxes, please? Yeah true. I think that what was he? Yeah, who knows man? That's crazy Although he was smoking crack for a while so I could see him The least of a guy on cracks. Yeah, yeah your life's a fog To be fair that's probably really hard to pay taxes when you're like actively addicted to crack You're just kind of like well, I'm gonna set aside 20% for the government or whatever Probably was like losing Porsche's places you like parking in parking garage in this beyond crackling go to California I have no idea where his car is. Yeah, he flipped the car Yeah, the man I really hope she is Waltz's son mentally. Yeah, dude. That sucks. Everyone's

making fun of him. That kid. That was so nice. They were zooming in on him and all that shit. Everybody made fun of him. Everyone. Cause he was like crying. He was like, and he was like, you could have probably told that someone screaming about my dad at that age is probably mentally retarded. Yeah. Well, there was a video of him kind of like, you see the video of him tugging him in like the video walls. It's not so beautiful. Once you watch it, it will protect his head. Nah, dude, he was going to hit his head.

That's like a pissed off. No, he was on a fucking stage. Yeah, I know. There was some like a thing hanging down. That's that's what I heard. It was I did. I saw liberals from the liberal elite global No, I think might have been from Joey Rogues. Really? He yanked his yanked the fuck out of him save his kid What I think everybody needs owes that boy an apology for making fun. I know people were making fun of him

Yeah, he was it was They were meeming up next to Kyle Rittenhouse the two of them crying. Yeah, I get me next to that all the time Support these bros. Yeah, they're on all out of salt Baron Baron mocks that kid He's got feet he's good Yeah, I contacted you yet Baron Baron, yeah, I wish Baron would contact me guys gotta get Trump on What are you doing with us? Everyone's getting Trump on right now? You mean you could we could yes I'm gonna get come on Yeah, sorry, I'll Harris. I'll follow

If we were her first actual interview that would would be the funniest shit in the world. If she won't do an interview, she'll only do MSN. She should sit down and do like an actual like two hours. She's doing one where she sits down with Tim Walz is going to do it with her. She already did it. That shit with the white guy tacos piss me off.

Which one? She's like, oh you guys have white guy tacos? What is it? Like no seasoning? That's bro. She hit the no seasoning joke Yeah, and then he's like she's like what is that tuna fish and mayonnaise is like bro. That's not a taco anyway, bro She's yeah, I could say nasty things about you She's making fun of white people. Yes, obviously she's trying it's open season Fuck dude white dudes Specifically, no, it's not she was she led fucking, uh, she was part of the, you know, you know, the people that put 40% of black and businesses out of business.

Aren't COVID. So, and walls, walls was involved in a $250 million scheme of stealing money for COVID. Are you serious? Feed families. Yeah. He was only an assistant coach. COVID. Are you serious? Feed families. Yeah. He was only an assistant coach. Wait, was he a head coach? No, neither. Cause he had a DUI. Cause he's a drunk. He said he legally cannot be a coach. He might be Phil Gillis and I might be the boy who's a volunteer assistant coach. of his felony on his record. And what do you catch? He's going 96 and like a 30 hammered. Yeah.

Timmy Waltz, bro. He could do it every once. But yeah, he did that. And then the only person I know that was like an assistant like that is Larry Nassar. Larry Nassar was an assistant massage therapist for children. Why are you comparing him to Larry Nassar? Cause I think Tim Walz is a pedophile as a joke. As a joke.

Oh, okay. A lot of those guys come back from Afghanistan, dude. And they're just not used to speed limits and stuff. True. Yeah, he was in Afghanistan. Long time seasoned veteran over there. Definitely didn't completely run once they actually went to war I Don't know anything about the man. He said he said he was a veteran and he did it he claimed

He held weapons war in war and then he said he misspoke. Oh, yeah, that's what that's a nice. Don't valor He stole Valor. He also stole head coach Valor, which is way worse. You can't say you're the head ball coach. He's been caught fibbing. He's been caught fibbing. I mean, Cleansie does pep talks, but what assistant coach does that? It's the head coach. Yeah, that's head coach. Unpaid assistant coach.

Dude, you've seen him. Unpaid pep talk coach. By the way, I tried to give a pep talk this weekend. How great was it? It's impossible. Where'd you give the pep talk? In Notre Dame's locker room after the win. Holy shit, shit. That's the perfect stage for the pep talk. I thought so. The lights were too bright. Did you see Yak give a pep talk? No. Kodak Black gave a pep talk to a bunch of kids. It's pretty great. What did you say? Come on man, it's locker room talk. That's all fair, bro. And then they all jumped around me and tried to make me dance. Did you? I did the same autistic dance I did at the Zach Brian thing.

You just got it. I don't know what happened. Hone it in, bro. I don't know what happens. Trump has his dance. You're just giving it to your dance. You got to own it. It's a good dance. Tough. Lock room speech is really hard. I thought I had one in me. You were a captain at one point though. So you've done it before. Let's post Winn. You might be more for adversity. I also felt like a weirdo.

I felt like a fucking loser being in there. Why? I don't know. I mean dude it's insane. It's everything you've ever wanted. Now you get a little older. You go, what the fuck am I doing? And then they, you know, I was watching that Steven McNair thing and Bill's like, why all the football players good? They even Buster someone to they're like 20. Yeah, you know, so You find if he's turned on on like what the fuck's your problem dude? After the speech, take inspections of them you know he's locking him boys start... Disrobed? Disrobing.

I just watched a homeless guy disrobe on Spring Garden Street and wipe his ass. And they got nubbed too dude I felt bad for felt bad I saw a guy peeing on the way here. I don't doubt its power It is it is powerful about a nub and public is insanity Like office lighting like yeah, so bright the nubs see the wrinkles and dude dicks and shit Me my father had to get the fuck out of there. Phil was in there with me. Did he cry? No.

He was a little grumpy bitch this trip. Why? I don't know. He was good during the game, but when he got to my house in Philly, he was like, Grumps. His place is empty. Yeah, yeah. Like shit like that.

I was like, all right, man. He probably wants grandkids. Out of you. He already has way too many grandkids. Yeah, too many grandkids I want some out of you. Yeah It's only begotten son. He's gonna have to hurry up is I'm gonna have to hurry up cuz Don't talk like that, bro. I was worried about words are spells He words are spells you sent that to me in the Texas heat. I was like Phil. Are you good? Yeah, fine. There's dark red dress

in the Texas heat. I was like, Phil, are you good? I was like, yeah, fine. And he's dark red dressed in sweat. I was like, dude, sit down. 90% blockage. Oh my God. That would be heavenly. I was hoping he might've died during the post game. Yeah, just in the locker.

And Phil had a heart attack. Bury him amongst the noobs. Amongst the no name Irish noobs. Bury him under the stadium. Yeah, just let him die. Leave him. That'd be kind of nice. Leave him for of next team

Why was he fucking harsh in the vibe in your house he was also we had a flight that was he player hating or was it? It was just the flight it is the old man verse flight dilemma It is 1230., we gotta get moving. And then I'm like alright, the car's here, he's like I gotta take a shit. We have to wait another 12 minutes. Cause I told him, I was like you can't, yeah, no flight shits. Dude, I did it recently. What? I know, you said six.

Nothing bro, nothing. You're up there, I know nothing, bro. Nothing. You're up there. You're up there. If I have to shit on the plane, I take a shit on the plane. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Oh, it's nothing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You just rip it. It's hell. You know, I just rip it. It's so small. It is small. It's cramped quarters and you tense up a dude once you let it move, though. Do you like immediately hit the button once shit comes out so it doesn't smell I've never had this I'm gonna sit in the open bowl. I'm not that long of a shitter But I'll like just let every cycles his shit on planes back through his body

Once you flush it then you don't come out right away now everyone knows it was shit So you just got a shit real quick get it out clean. It's a shit once you open that door Nah, dude, it wasn't that bad good. At least I think I was used to the smell too. Yes I came out and it's like yeah, you come out and you're just out. It's not that bad I shit today at the airport and it didn't flush it didn't flush and I had to just cover the bodies, dude Walked out I was out of there. I felt really bad about that. I took a weird...

In Philly or in Austin? In Austin. I took a weird... Which toilet? I know all the toilets in Austin. I was up in the American... Oh, you opened the AdWords. I was up in the AdWords.

I left the Sailors not up there. That's quite a dump. That's the best dump. That's the only point of having like Delta Lounge right now. Yeah. Oh, that nice? I love the sailors not up there. It was the only point of having like Delta lounge. Yeah. Oh, they take a fully walled. Yes.

This is what else do you get from it? What do you need to get shitty catering food? You get the worst food. Your coffee. Like, are you getting like serves or like, no, you got to pick it up yourself. But then cafeteria and you get high school cafeteria. OK, I got you. Yeah.

And then like a Sudanese immigrant will come take your plate. Just kind of cool Yeah, every once in a while. They have good grub out. What do you need to access it? I? Don't know it's a secret. I think you have to have American Express. I want finer things, bro You probably have it which one means made them. I don't know. I think you just need a wife. What set it up Need a girl to set it up This is a girl set it up for you. I have no idea how it works I'll just forget everything just it's a fine print on a credit card somehow a girl calls and they go Yeah, you can come in lost my wallet this week. That's crazy fucking dead. You lost your wallet. It's been years. Yeah, I

Been going crazy with surprise. Just got my Texas ID lost my I have been going crazy on sobriety. He's a fucking maniac. What's your so what's your soap kick right now? I got drunk last night, but It's live quit. It's commit. It's commit. It's commit five days at a time. You can still keep your shit working on it. Yeah, I got right now. Yeah, I got my chip right now until right when we're done with this. Yeah, sure. until right when we're done with this podcast. But then we'll get a hell of a trip eventually. Yeah, true. Like are you fucking around or did you actually feel like amazing after five minutes? I swear to God on day five, I was like,

I think I'm on arrow. That's awesome. Wow. It's ridiculous. Oh dude, you've been running with an absolute weighted vest on. You're just dimming the light inside you by drinking. True. The light's too powerful.

True. Yeah, but you know, having a couple cold ones is top five. It's the best feeling in the world, bro. It's the number one feeling. Yeah, it's very nice. Having two cold drinks is very nice. It's just the next day sucks.

Even after like two drinks, I wake up and I'm like, now that I live the oral lifestyle, dude, it's a total lie. When they told us that having drinks was healthy for you, like yeah, have two drinks is actually good for you. It's not true at all. It's the fucking alcohol, obviously. So bad for you. Yeah. They, have two drinks is actually good for you. It's not true at all. It's fucking alcohol, obviously. So bad for you.

Yeah. That was, they pushed that thing through like it was nothing. What? The fact that they were like, if you have two drinks every day, it's actually good for you. Yeah, I was saying.

Not like it's not the worst thing for you. They go, no, no, it's actually for the best. I just need to stop doing cool stuff during the week. Yeah. That's the thing that kills me. The power of no. The power of no is difficult. You just keep getting forced to dance everywhere. Yeah, people bring me thing that kills me the power of no You just keep getting forced to dance everywhere Yeah, bring me out make me dance the only way to do that is absolutely obliterated

I could never do it fucking sober tailgate at the Texas A&M Notre Dame game. What? Yeah Why was that cuz everywhere I went I was getting attacked. Oh, yeah, it's crazy. I can't walk around Yeah, that sucks man. It does actually suck Dude I was in a I was in Jersey I was in Jersey and I'm like walking up to check out a Walgreens and this dudes like fucking I am me up I'm like what the fuck's this dude's problem and then you waited outside for me. He's like, are you Andrew? I was like, yeah, he's like, I love you guys, but I was the whole time. I was like pissed off waited outside for me. He's like, are you Andrew? I was like, yeah. He's like, I love you guys. But I was the whole time. I was like pissed off. Like what the fuck's this dude's bra?

Yeah, I hit the head nods. Thought he wanted to fight you. Then I was like, I should have asked that dude what his name was. Like I have zero people skills. I just freeze up. I'm like, oh, all right, dude. Cool. Later. I got, today I got a good one. Today I was walking and a group of children started chasing me. Sir, sir. And I thought they were like, I was, so I got out of the way. We were on the sidewalk and then they all came around. They're like, we're doing a scavenger hunt. Can we take a picture with you? That's awesome. And I was like, I'm on a fucking scavenger

hunt. And I looked at it. It was like guy in Philly's Jersey. Yeah. Yeah. I saw John Cena talk about this problem on the club. Shasha podcast backshot king He talked about how people come and approach him and he goes bro, it's just part of the territory He's like I got to do it. You know, sometimes I'm not the day you were saying like I should have been better He goes sometimes I'm just not the best at it. I try to be the best I was here someone's asshole open one time like they try to take a picture of them John Cena Just lays the fuck into him the dude's being a douchebag and like John Cena just fucking lets him have it. Does he really? Yeah

Oh, what it's Modine From London or whatever that I mean it gets like 60 she know do like 60 pictures if he goes anywhere He's like I do about 60 pictures Damn, see him must get destroyed. Oh, yeah, and it's around the world too. He can't, I do about 60 pictures. God damn. See, it must get destroyed. Yeah. And it's around the world too. He can't get, there's nowhere he can go. I think we went up to Boston to interview Shiva and there was the Monday after WrestleMania, bro. That must be insane. I saw them all. They were all there.

All the Lamares. Dude, they were going crazy. They were still dressed up like wrestlers on Monday going home. It's a fun life, dude. It's so cool. One of the best. Yeah. Completely letting go.

I only ever had one spaz. What? The first show I... Did I talk about this on here before? It was the first helium back. There's like autograph guys that come. Yeah. And I just had...

It was a hundred fucking degrees in the room. I bom. And I was, I just had, it was a hundred fucking degrees in the room. I bombed. I was so mad. I was like, I just want to fucking go home. Sign an autograph and you bomb. And I had to walk outside and sign an autograph. And then most of the time the autograph guys,

they don't go to the show or have any idea who you are. Yeah. So I just stand there and I'm like, sign an autograph. And then they need pictures with the autograph. And I was just in a, I was in a nasty mood. I just bombed. And I was signing it. And I was in a nasty mood. I just bombed and I was signing it. I was like, he was like, you were great in billions because Soder was on the show. You read the wrong fucking bio. You don't even know who I am.

Why are you doing this? They did that at the beginning of the new, uh, no. And then he was like, can I get a picture? And I was like, no, I'm going home. And he was like, Oh, fucking puff guy, huh? You see, that's how the new Adam Sandler Really? Whoa. Yeah, the new Adam Sandler special start that thing gets it right. Yeah, they bring a kid They always have a kid. That's most of the time. They're great, but I did feel bad I should have just taken the fucking picture, but who are the autograph guy? Are they like just there? Selling autographs pop routy people now

They might get you tonight. Nah, they're not getting my ass. They will. They might, dude. Easy up. I fly under the radar. No, that's... I walked by when someone else was there

and they started fucking nailing me. Really? Pause. No, I might. Do you know what I'm worried about right now? Apparently there's a bunch of kidnappings in Texas. Texas killing fields? No, just like, apparently in Texas,

what can happen if the lady is with a kid by themselves? This could just be girl talk. But Brittany went out with her like Facebook groups. Well, they went out with her. They could bunch of her like mom friends went out together. It's funny because they all went out to dinner to scare each other. I heard this and they all came back like, but they were saying they'll get dude. Two of them said they've either one did firsthand. The other said they heard of like a friend had happened to where someone just came out of an SUV and was like coming towards them.

They had to like dip back into their car. Apparently they see women, they snatch kids and like your kids just gone. This is the same shit as people like, I know someone who died of COVID like, Oh yeah. Who is it? It's my uncle's friend. No, the one person is her friend. I've met this lady. She was like, yeah Someone was like get back in your car and then she saw a guy with a ski mask helping out of a van

I think she loved this stuff. I do love the medication I was in my room all fired up being like dude if I see fucking any guy in a park and I'm a fun I just imagine just murdering Mexican guys Like an hour and a half I was like speaking Spanish like That's like an hour and a half. I was like speaking Spanish like you can't I was me just dude. It was I couldn't sleep. I lay there for an hour I was just a good tell it's just a bad need to keep them in America in here with me I was fully in my head being like dude Could I fully battle a cartel is like I probably get the military if I went down there

I just went nuts just laying there at night trying to sleep being like so the guy came Then I jumped into a car There's a half an hour of like could I stop a guy driving a car like could I? Incapacitate him and then take over the wheel before I crash so obviously there's a guy anything to anybody You know I hit I'll do this for like 40 minutes I'll wake up in the middle of night and be like could I if someone took my kid could I jump into a car? It's dad like them at 60 miles an hour? It was fun. I did it for like the whole night or Chicago.

What are they taking kids? The Venezuelans are shooting up O block right now and saying, fuck all of you. They're just coming from Venezuela and firing guns into O block. Like, fuck you guys. Yeah. What are you going to do? You're not going to come down here. The Venezuelans immediately went there and just started spraying bullets into their fucking street. Yeah. I mean, the rest of the Aurora, Colorado. The rest of the world's pretty bad. That's the thing

It's like I predicted this years ago I'm like dude, we're gonna get a heavy wave of immigrants and they're not gonna be very sensitive to the black American plate They've been dealing with white people for too long. We get Robin. No, no, it's fine. Just take it. It's Got yesterday really I was walking home and a group of teens. Doesn't matter. Yeah. Race Indian group of yes. And I saw him go, well, we'll see how this goes. It should be fine. And then one of the kids started talking to me and I had headphones and so I was like, what was that? I couldn't hear you. And he was like, no, no, no. And I was like, I'm sorry, I can't hear you. And he's like, I'd cream pie you.

I was like, all right. Just kept walking. He started to take your cheeks. He was, yeah, in front of all his friends. He said he was gonna come inside of me. That's tough, dude. And I just laughed and kept walking. And then I think his one boy either called him gay

or me gay. I couldn't tell. He's like, yo, he gay. Yeah, I watched the rogue little black kid. That was just my Indian impression. But. Little black kid said he's on a green pipe. Yo, this is the most, I had the most autistic walk home.

It was that. And all I did was laugh. He was just on that green pipe. I go, oh. And then just walk away. And then this girl who lives near me has this dog I see every single day. And I was like, I see this dog all the time.

What's that dog's name? And she was like, I'm on the phone. I was like, okay. I was blocked out. Yeah. You were told you were gonna be creepied? I see this dog every day. I was like, this is a great dog.

What's that dog's name? And she was like, I was like, all right, I'm going inside for the rest of my life. I can't go outside. Yeah, Some lady outside that like works the park just hit me with your haircut. Looks nice. And my response to like, ah, what the fuck did I say? It's not words. Yeah. Some some dude came down my driveway the other day. Like, oh, Indian dude had a fucking shin guard, a soccer shin guard on his arm.

What? Like crazy, crazy, crazy person. Right. And my gut reaction was just, whoa. And he was like, oh, just walked away. I love the way it's kind of scary. I didn't spring action at all. I was doing that earlier today.

Where? That's good. Well, that was the first step. You would have won fear and then anger and then aggression yeah So you're just you're charged in the beginning of it. You're charged Thought of all the funny things I could have said to that young Indian boy after he said oh, yeah Fuck so I could come in you I know kids you can handle some really good comebacks But there's no comeback because you could get your ass. Yeah, or you get you can be seen being like I'll come in your little

Little no one ever watches the first half of the video some of you in a black teens face Make I'll come in your fucking ass because of you Yeah last thing you need I got Harris again my mother got My pepper sprayed by a group of Indians on his first Tinder date She was just walking on his first day and got fucking pepper sprayed for no reason that he hit the ground. That's a dude had sauce And then they finished the date That's a good they were on their way to eat and got that shit fucking hurts man fucking probably They'd get hit to both of them got pepper sprayed in the face by black girls

The baby get hit to both of them got pepper spray in the face by like black girls Evil pepper sprayed and tell ya true, dude Just couldn't handle please watch yeah true. Yeah, probably tune in may I just I mean it's right just I mean Did you watch did you watch a curious case and tell you great? Not yet? No, I gotta see it You have to watch it. I asked you I heard it's awesome. It sounds like a pretty great premise It's unreal How much does this person really look like a little girl? Yeah. Yes Do they have like the Benjamin Button set up or like what's just a mid? No, oh, they're a midget. Yeah, it's dwarf You can fuck an idea of midget. Oh, yeah, dude

Yeah, but not a foot watch if they're in footies. We can. If they're in footies. We can't. We literally can't talk about it because it's all spoilers. It's a fucking roller coaster. But it is sinister bro. What? But you know that little true crime stuff? This one blew my mind. I've seen a ton of shit.

Have you seen American Nightmare? Yes. That was a good one. That was a good one, yeah. I have to have, spoiler alert, we're gonna ruin it. When she comes walking back in American Nightmare. Yes dude. And you're just like this fucking lying bitch.

Yeah, that's how the episode ends. Yeah. So then if you stop watching it, like, yeah, dumb bitch. Kidnapping rate. It's kind of the same deal with this one where the first episode you're like, fuck this dwarf. And then Shane started sending me fucking Instagram rails about withholding and how it is horrible for relationships. There aren't only just physical forms of use. There's mental other forms of sexual withholding, withholding it. So you're talking about withholding from your woman? No, my boy Mike got withheld from his girl evil.

Oh, you're talking about how women withhold from you and how that's abuse. It is abuse commonly known as dead Happens to a lot of people. Oh, yeah. You got addicted to porn because of that. Yeah, we've been addicted. That's not his fault at all. Then she would use the porn against him. Oh, it's crazy.

Like, you're a pervert. Look at what you're looking at. It's a good rabbit roll. I'm in that rabbit roll right now. What? That's on my algorithm. What? Is that?

Withholding? I thought it was porn. It's withholding and then Christian couples being like, how we beat our husband's porn addiction Yes, that's the name of the game is withholding what is a challenge never chased samples Aaron said that yeah for real dude Was that the Vegas shooting? Yes, sure. He did rescue fucking crazy Who the hell was just talking about him? Someone was talking about Jason Aldean I think it was Patrick bet David was saying dude Jason Aldean

Couldn't go out for like two years because of the fucking shooting and never talks about and then tuck just had him on talking about the Shooting talks been having some rogue dudes. Oh, yeah Churchill's the bad guy Hear that I like that dude's fog I was saying that guy's pocket I like that dude's podcast. I was in that guy's podcast. I've been seeing it. Sounds like he's right up your alley. I love this dude's cat. The vision of history. Hey man, just hear the other side.

Speaking of numbers and stuff, you ever look at, have you checked out the numbers over there in Israel, Palestine these days? Oh yeah. What are they looking like? Not good, bro. They've dropped- At least 40,000 killed and like- 40,000 killed.

10,000 children. Now. How many were killed on October 7th? Just curious. It's never I for an eye, but I'm not saying it's I for an eye 1799 and that's like 20 how many that yeah, it's like 20 something nine elevens in one day. So what's forty thousand? 1700 is one nine eleven. No, no, no, no, no. You're doing the math. You're doing the Israeli math per capita. It's about 20 some 9-elevens. This is like it's two lanes. Yeah.

And 40,000, I guess, their lives don't have. I don't know. I think I read a statistic that was like 70% of Palestine lost a family member in this. You know what's crazy though? If you start checking out like the beginning of World War II, this is like how it rolls up. Really? They got books.

When you give you the book and they'll start talking about like 1930, like early early thirties. And it's like, this war is happening over here. This is happening over here. And then like all the guys that are in power now, forget them. Then there's going to be other dudes and then you're going to get your Hitler. You're going to get your fucking Stalin. All those dudes. Whichever candidate in America seems like they they're gonna deescalate. Yeah, yeah. True.

You know who it is. I'll do my research. You can do your research. Come on, Walt. Yeah, I watched this movie on Churchill where the dad from succession is it, and he's fighting with his wife and his wife just fucking slaps him, dude.

It's nice. Wait, what happened? His fight his fight like is a movie about Churchill on D-Day and he's fighting with his wife the whole fucking time. He's like losing his mind. The actor in it. The guy, the dad, the dad from succession. The old man. Oh yeah. He plays Churchill. He's Churchill dude. And he's like fighting with his wife and like, he just wants to be the man. He wants to be a war hero and she fucking slaps him. It's hilarious. Damn. They hype up church on some good movies. Yeah. The Darkest Hour.

Never saw it. Fucking rules. I just watched History of Islands. That fucking rules. Viggo Morrison. I never saw it. I heard it was good. Viggo's good.

The pussy eating on the steps scene. Oh yes. Yeah, I heard about that. Full out fuck on the steps. Yeah, I heard about that. What movies is? A History of Islands. That's Aragorn, brother. Viggo Morrison. Aragorn eats pussy on a staircase. He's what movies is a history of violence? That's Aragorn brother Viggo Morrison

We need some pussy on yeah on staircase. He's from Philly Maria Bello. How many steps? It's a whole full staircase It was like a two-step porch. No, it was literally like a turn and 12 steps going over steps full-blown No, no in the house. Oh Inside wooden steps. Yes winding staircase. he must have got so hard so fast You know, it's just right in there. Oh, yeah true. The steps would be apparent. You'd have it's like you have so much push off Yeah, so much push immediately. Yeah, ever see a little children. What's that? You ever see little children? I don't remember you like bang some lady's wife on a washing machine pretty sick Viga No, it's little children ever say movie about like the pedophile in the pool

I've never even heard do little children's a sick movie. Yeah, there's this guy's a pedo and he's like he wears snorkel He wears like a snorkel and goggles in the pool and everyone's like get this motherfucker It's about like a guy who's a stay-at-home dad and a stay-at-home mom and they kind of all they see they have an affair They do the rings. Uh, they running fucking uh ads on born up right now allegedly someone told me fucking what are you doing on the ho there's every team if you got if you got hurt by fucking fire extinguisher foam you are likely to get a claim really it just have you been injured by fire camp? They start they're like old people ads on for they're going to

Yeah, it's common. My arm has hurt since then decked out like copper bracelets It's been nice being in Philly having the hub back having the hub my old friend what happens when you guys try to get on it? And you gotta just, if you've heard from other people. There's a screen that says you gotta show your ID. Do you ever? No, I think in Texas it's like, you have to be a content creator. Oh, dude, join.

Like, R.H. East. I'm gonna create some content. R.H. East. Hunter Biden. R.H. East. Hunter Biden's porn account. Why don't you just read erotic literature? Yeah, just read it? Why don't you just read erotic literature?

Yeah, just read it literally like a nice Girl every single girl that reads a book does that yeah any woman that is really dude It's most the book market now. Yeah, you get in New York on the subway black chicks will just openly read it I'm like watching them read like erotic a very big letter print dude every book girls read now is just fucking situations it's fucking insane yeah makes me sad Nicole Kidman's in that new movie what new movie Nicole Kidman's like Baron it all again she's doing like a crazy fuck scene where like she has sex with her husband fakes an orgasm but then she has to sneak in her own little room where she like watches BDSM porn and fregs off

The boomers are gonna lose their shit when this comes out. Why'd you bang Nicole Kidman? Are you kidding me? Days of thunder Yeah, I would like to yes have sex in the cold Kidman, what do you would you yes I'm sure what the hell are you asking me for? Why do you put that on me? It's funny, you might see her one day. I was JK, he's a comedy fuckass. Yes, I'd fuck her now. Say it legibly.

It's not funny, come on man. Yeah, it's funny actually. Guard dog, edit out the part where I talked about autographs and photos. Yeah. All right, edit that out. True. Good call. Dude, I, uh, I gotta tell you guys, I absolutely bombed my 11 with three or bomb my interview with three 11th. Oh, so bad is that?

Are you not going to put it out? I put it out. Oh, okay. I bombed it, dude. I like for real mistakes. Huh? Show your mistakes. You gotta show your mistakes, bro.

As an interviewer, I didn't have anything prepared. I showed up and was like, we're going to hit it off right away. Show your mistakes. You gotta show your mistakes, bro. As an interviewer, I didn't have anything prepared. I showed up and was like, we're gonna hit it off right away. They were cool. But I would just ask them questions. I had nothing to ask them and I was like, make up stuff to say to them. They'd be like, right on, man. So hard to interview a music musician. You're getting your bearings, dude.

Interviewer. I know. It was making me laugh because I was like, Brittany called me because I had stayed home for a day to do it. She was like, was it worth staying home? I'm like I'm like dude actually don't really feel great about this right now I fucked up my interview with 311 We enjoyed oysters true, but it was very funny very funny big I'm serious I didn't do my 311 interview that well, and I'd appreciate if you got my back

I didn't do my 311 interview that well and I'd appreciate it if you got off on that. You were all mixed up in that case. Did you talk about Amber? Yeah, he actually had a very sick line when I was asked. I asked him like was there any song you had that like surprised you that took off? And he was like Amber and I was like he's like it was it like was the first time We had a song that like got a almost overwhelmingly female kind of feedback. I said yo, what were the uh, How'd that work out? How'd you like that like female fan base? The dude goes Ambers of color my energy, bro

Rainstorm of stoner babes too Babes yeah, just he just got smell like patchouli. Oh, I just heard a thing about an evil hippie what speaking of evil hippies, uh, There's like a that Alaskan Airlines pilot that tried to take that plane down no I was listening Tim Dillon was on Tim's podcast. He was talking about there was a guy that was like he You know how sometimes they sit on like the fold down chair. Yeah, yeah This guy just lost his mind while he was up there. He was like, nothing's right. So the black dog reached for a fucking thing.

I'll try to take it. A stewardess or the pilot. He was a pilot. There was two pilots on there. He was just riding with him. He's a he's a plan to take down white pilots. He saw the pilot. It's all black.

Why? But he he was talking about. He's like, I've been taking some mushrooms. I've been. Saw the black dog, dude. Why? But he was talking about, he's like, I've been taking some mushrooms, I've been working on stuff. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I remember hearing about this, yeah. Chill on the psychedelics. That's how you sit on a plane and go, I'm not here right now.

Nothing's real. The only way to find out. Everything is mental. So he was on the mushies as co-pilot. He was calling them magic mushrooms, too. Intrusive thoughts. I was at the bar with my buddy Ricky and these two chicks came in. I don't think this guy got any jail time.

Really? That's freaky. He used to be life in prison. Well, he's trying to better himself through microdosing. You should be in prison if you try to kill everyone. Yeah, definitely. That's probably some dude hired by 550 attempted murder. Did he actually do it or he like really,

he pulled it? No, he like went for it. Was the pilot like, whoa, what the hell? Everyone had to like hold him back. Yeah, he should be arrested Definitely yeah, but at least deep is deep hot. They took his wings. Yeah, but now he goes around and gives us a bus. He's a bus driver Speeches what's he do about pilots mental health? I mean this guy probably got paid bank from Pfizer Yeah, you know what? I was on magic mushrooms, dude

Well, there's a chance so he was like kind of an unstable dude who kind of like heard about Microdosing from the internet and like dude They shouldn't be part take a little bit too much and you're up in the sky and you've never really done anything like that before I could see him being like what's the point? I was telling Ricky at the bar and he's two chicks rolling They're like in their 40s And they were there for a divorce party and like they were boozing and like trying to hit on every dude in the bar And then they're like we have chocolate something I'm getting the fuck out of here, dude That must be a two chicks had a divorce party on mushrooms as hell. There's a divorce party. They

Like bachelor parties. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough, dude fucking fool. They're out of the game. They're coming back in. You know, it's like, dude, you guys should retire. How are they looking? Not good. They'll just get mauled by somebody. 23 year old psycho on Tinder for three days. I think we should work things out.

They got the other leg. They came back and I haven't checked in on YouTube for a while. I was like Jesus Christ Yeah, that's a Come on, they're so dark. Yeah, they're entering a very different thing about there's some dude out there doesn't know this is going on Yeah, what do you mean? They're like chin like some dudes out there like doesn't know his ex chicks having a divorce party I think it's pretty common man. Well, yeah tricks get divorced now and it's like divorce party with the girls They like advertise like we throw bachelor parties divorce parties

I think it depends also surprise how much that guy might not give a fuck. I was gonna say that guy's probably like Yeah Yeah, you're fucking bitch battle axe 40 year old wife out there being like I'm celebrating at the Benning is fucking dick straws Yeah, I'll cry That if that's going on on the ground you're on the fucking plane on the mushroom just being like well I gotta find this TGI Friday 9-eleven it mean 200 of my friends

9-eleven it mean 200 of my friends 200 souls When you say like that, it's crazy. They didn't arrest that guy. He I think he should be in jail for yeah That's crazy For a while if you try to kill that many people. Yeah Yeah, no, you can't give talks. I mean serial killers don't put up this kind of numbers Yeah, also put them in the cooler at least like a mental hospital for like couple years Do you lock that boy up like that Buffalo Bill? Yeah, that's sick Dude, that was a terrorist attack. Yeah

That was a heavy bug out though. Maybe the judge is leaning like were you fucking bugging bro? Sometimes those batches Oh I was talking mushrooms. It was a chocolate dude because sometimes those batches are fucking weird. penis might be soft dude Oh shit you were bugging it's all good. Yeah, Matt you can rent Buffalo Bill's house as an Airbnb Dude, Rainey's into this. Rainey stayed in the hotel room for the you know lady from Monster Yeah, he like rented he like stayed in that hotel room. I never knew that was a real show. Like that was based on true story That was based on a real lady. Yeah, I never knew that. No know that was a real show like that was based on that was based on a real lady Yeah, I never knew that no that was a real lady Raney and Delcalo and Matarra stayed in her in her like hotel that she

Said it was terrifying to ex-pilot ex-pilot who tried to shut off engine mid-flight On psychedelic mushroom trip gets released from jail with orders to keep away from aircraft Well, that's good. That's his punishment. But that was really strange. Even those planes. I've been there in a trash truck. You talk about the sky king. Sky King is such a nice video.

People hate that shit. I don't know why guys are obsessed with him. Like, what the fuck is people's obsessions? Like, dude, it's a great. It's an audio record. It's hilarious. So you think this thing can do a barrel? Like, please don't do that. You land this. He's like, I you think this thing can do a barrel roll? Like, ah, please don't do that.

You're gonna land this? He's like, ah, I'm gonna try to hit a barrel roll and then probably nosedive it and call it a night. It's a beautiful clip. How close did that guy get to killing up? Did he like, was he like actually pulling for it or is he like, I'm gonna kill him? I don't think he said he was gonna do it. Yeah, I mean, I, I.

That's gotta suck. He was just on his junior wheel and the real pilot was like what the fuck you doing dude crushing it no attempted murder charges for pilot there can't be like that easy of a kill switch on a plane I feel like there has to be some sort of like two bot two hands on both buttons on both sides no way because if one of them goes down yeah you can't you gotta have one you know what I mean if like one goes down that you can't put both the keys at the same time like like a Mystical thing like oh my god. What am I doing? Oh my god. This is crazy. It's like 93

Shit is insane and weird. Yeah, he Mr. Amerson acknowledged that in trying to wake himself from what he believed was a dream He reached up in the cockpit and pulled on the planes to fire suppression handles Which are designed to shut down both engines in an emergency Well, he got inceptioned. Yeah That was Violent plane That's crazy

That was a girl pilot no, it was a man. Let's say I sound like some sick shit a dude would do That a Nashville shooter manifesto and I was like, you know, this is a dude Wow You know, we only ever interrupt the fun to bring you amazing news and that news is about I bought a Ibotta is a free app that lets you earn cash back every time you shop. Earn on hundreds of items from groceries to beauty supplies, even toys, so you can make sure you're beating inflation no matter what you're purchasing. The average iBotta user earns $256 per year. That could cover the cost of an entire shopping trip, that flight you've been eyeing, or the

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That's trueclassic.com mssp and discover the perfect blend of summer vibes and timeless elegance with true classic. Shop now and elevate your wardrobe today. Ah! Hello everybody, sorry for the brief interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I just wanted to let you know that I'll be doing standup comedy in Tempe, Arizona

this week, Wednesday at the Improv, September 11th. With Aidan McCluskey and Nate Marshall, please come to that if you can. And then I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah With Aidan McCluskey and Nate Marshall, please come to that if you can. And then I'll be in Salt Lake City, Utah at Wise Guys Comedy Club this weekend, Friday and Saturday, September 13th and 14th. Please come to that if you can as well. Thank you very much.

The tickets, the link for tickets is in the description. God bless you. Now let's get back to the show. Oh, I mean, Jesus, man. Anyway, have you guys seen any of the Paralympics? Bill, do you like the Paralympic video? Yeah, that's great. You see the Brazilian guy fucking swimming? You watch any of this? Yeah, he has no arms. Dude, he's like a fish, bro. His feet are huge. He's just like a body. Does he just wriggle?

Man, he's built like a body. Does he just wriggle? He's built like a frog. He's built like a frog. And he has the towel bite to start with. Is that how he started? Yes, he was biting onto a towel. And they let go and fucking jumped back. Did you unhook him?

He's grabbed by the gills and catch and release. These guys are legit Crohns. They're having a whole Olympics for them. The guy who beat him is a dickhead for that. What'd he do? He won. No, that was a semifinals, dude. Backstroke? Oh, that was a semifinals?

Fuck. What did the guy set up to beat him? I was armed as fuck and beat him by a fucking finger length. What? He has to fucking head butt the wall. Yeah. Does he just fucking? I'll show you, Matt.

Does he ever leap up out of the water and then come back in? Dude, he had 50 meters underwater backwards. What? Yeah, he's unreal. I'll show you, Matt. This he ever leap up out of the water and then come back in? Dude, he had 50 meters underwater backwards. What? Yeah, he's unreal. I'll show you, Matt. This dude's on. That's crazy. He's my kind of folk.

It's pretty great. Yeah, they did that. And then they're doing the backstroke. And some of the dudes have like one fucking arm. They just go in a circle? Ha ha ha. Bum rudder. Just watching you.

Yo. Just chill and check it out. These are the champions. There's nothing better. You might have to fast forward to the towel grab, but that's how they start. Towel grab with the mouth. Why? There we go.

You'll see the king when you say I'm there. He's just feet in a shell. 50 meters underwater to start. That's crazy. Unreal. It's what 50 meters underwater to start that's crazy unreal Magic him swimming up and scaring It's like a catfish yeah like this That that's the good one. Yeah, it really is man. They do any satanic

ceremony look like Probably chills out, probably respectful. Loving, respectful. Who's mad dogging? No, they all gotta plop in. Yeah, they get... Mad dog Olympics. A lot of them can't do the flip. Yeah, they all have to just plop in. It's like bobbing for apples.

Bro, they're fucking cooking. There he is. Yo! He fucking crushed that. He would smoke you, he fucking he would smoke you Matt he would smoke you would destroy me and you blacked out in your own pool yeah I can't well that the goggles are pretty tight on my forehead of my blood supply this guy is nasty dude I might try that bro he's fucking bro. Imagine him jackhammer the motor on him. Oh My god, imagine life with no arms, dude, just nubs up here Hall ass all you do is hit the pool and then he works you work your whole life to get to Paris and then some Guy beats you by a fucking finger length. That's fucked up

I would love to know his origin story just how he got into swimming just some nasty fucking Brazilians pushman pull as a joke story just how we got into swimming just some nasty fucking Brazilians pushman pool is a joke these are the real X line that's how I learned how to swim by the way I was pushing the pool really by fire trial by fire at least that's how it could be a false memory but I swear to God I was in the caracom swim club my brothers pushed me in the pool and I definitely definitely happened here I wouldn't mind a good dive I remember remember being like, oh, sweet, I can swim and just pull myself out of the pool and be like right on. What size dive board you ever took?

Dude, I think there was a, I swear, I think it was a 30 meter. I could be wrong about that. 60 feet or no. Hidden Hollow. How high was the third platform? I think 10 meters. 10, my bad. Okay. 30 feet. I was getting meters and feet confused. It was getting meters and feet confused. Bro, the third platform at Hidden Hollow was high as fuck.

Second platform was scary. Maybe at 14 feet. The second platform was scary. I honestly don't know if everyone on the third. The second was like kind of nuts nuts the third was like you got to be fucking crazy Look up. I'm telling you the hidden house remember the hell. I didn't even climb up to it, bro It was I don't know. It's got to be closed down now. I never you could climb up It was it probably was 30 feet. I think it was about 30 feet high. Damn. It was crazy Whatever the high dive is I think it's just a is that buck at Bucknell, whatever they're. Platform or board. Like a platform. Damn dude. That's high. It was whatever the collegiate one is.

Yeah, Matt, you know Jason Statham used to do this? Statham was a professional diver. Oh yeah, actually I did hear that before. It's crazy. Was he a dancer? Yes, did you ever see the video where he's dancing in the background? So is Sam Sullick.

Who's that? Big bodybuilder kid. Oh, he was a swimmer. Oh, swimmer and diver, yeah. That's kid? Oh, he was a swimmer. Oh, it's a swimmer and diver. That's pretty sick. I never had a high dive. I've been hitting the lanes pretty hard myself. You never did a high dive?

Never hit one. Once I was like fucking, fucking around the pool. Oh, you're part of the safety generation. I just had the pool in the backyard. It's all nerfed up for him. We used to drink out of the hose. Tune the guitar. We were pretty much staying out. We were in the streetlights.

We were just out there. I used to literally walk up and down the highway. As a child. We used to hang out on the highway all the time. Screaming Joe. I for real used to walk up and down the highway as a child. Where? 202.

We would walk to Wawa and just pillage candy bars. Not nerfed not nerfed So I got to know if you got I saw your trophy case in here. Nothing but participation Basketball I would dive into the fucking bleachers to save a ball out of bounds all the fucking time, bro Don't do that to me. Did you like you that? Did you like when our parents came to the games or did you not care? I told him I give a fuck less cuz I had one catch with daddy threw it underhand. I was like, alright, this is Getting his shoulders absolutely fine. I was like dad you wanna have a catch and he's like, yeah sure

And then I threw one to him and he fucking went like this. No, he was he was like a He was like a curvy lefty. He was a lefty. He was in my homes. He was a dog flutie. Sidearm. Anytime I went lifting, he goes, what are you doing with Hans and Franz? Dude, I literally have to go lifting.

And he's like, why do you have to go lifting? Just go to work. They say I have to go to these. He would crush, he would crush. If he lifted weights, he'd be like, what are you trying to hook up with dudes? He'd be like, why do you think I'm trying to engage? He might've been onto something, dude.

Well, in his day, they all collected those magazines. Yes. Well, if you wanted to they all collected those magazines. Yes. Well, if you wanted to lift weights back when your dad was a kid, they would collect those men's fitness magazines. Makes sense. These guys are speedos. Yeah, I could see that from that generation being like, what are you trying to get? Your muscles bigger?

What do you want to kiss guys? That's what made Dorian big though. Yeah. True. One of the greatest. True. I mean, I'm absolutely impervious to my Trump. Or it's just like, dude, the hate's going to come.

Everyone, what if two gay guys kissed on camera said, take that bill? I would throw that one hurt your feelings. Spade. He was spade. Wasn't that into it? And then he got in the gym and he saw that all that fucking hate and just people were scared to walk in. Dude, the judgment stops right at the door.

Once we're in there, it's just two guys trying to make each other better. True. Make each other feel better. Yes. Literally. Yes. Nothing wrong with it. I mean, you keep asking me too, but you know, have you guys pumped together? No, no, no. Matt, Matt comes, Matt takes his shoes off for, uh, squats. Yeah. Yeah. Matt has a fucking good firm base when he squats, taking your shoes off the squat. 135 is wild. You got it. I have high cushion running shoes. You're not supposed to lift in those things. Really? Yeah. You're not supposed to lift in Hocus. Then you got the easy socks. The one time easy. So I rolled up with nice socks. The one time I rolled up with the three M they look like work.

See fitness. Yeah. You got a dude. I was telling, dude, I ran four miles in I think 45 minutes. Yeah, me and Bill did legs. My knees are fucked up. Me and Bill did legs the other day on this throw up on fucking Bulgarians. Bulgarian split squats will shoot your fucking heart right out of the fucking room, dude. Out of nowhere, my heart just started going, I don't know, like, dude, I could have a heart attack. I started thinking I could have a heart attack.

Dude, I lived in that sick and twisted realm for like two years, or if my heart went up above like 100, I'd be like, I could have a heart. I think I could have dude I live I live in that second twist around for like two years or if my heart went up above like 100 I'd be like, it's a young boy. He's just like I'm like, I'm getting worried like I could go down I watched the guy fucking delete himself from you I went to hot yoga last week and this dude rolled in and it was no joke Six minutes in you're doing this stuff or like you bend backwards and you go forward and grab like the back your ankles But you want a compression with your chest and stomach and your thighs. Mm-hmm. You have to do two sets second set dude packs it up Fucking rolls the mat up and everything goes like you're right. Yeah, just have to go to the bathroom But like if you have to go to the bathroom, yeah, you know go

Back to your man. Is he having the big one dude rolled, rolled it up, left and it smelled like a dog shit the room for like five minutes. And I was just like, this dude shit himself. I just peaced out. I mean, obvious, obvious move. He's never coming back. He had to leave the city. Insane. Oh, in front of the yoga base.

Oh, yeah. It's shitty. Yoga. Not for the yoga. Yeah, dude. It was insane. I just fucking I just held my head down the next. Oh, man. He should have been. He should have been like, yo, this guy fucking shit himself. I'm out of here. What kind of place is this?

You shit yourself. I'm leaving. Yeah, that's like just starting to sweat. I feel no because I ate fucking a bunch of ground beef and rice before I went and I was This stomach compression kill he set you off like Goonies, dude. Yeah. Oh shit There's another thing where you got to like let on your back squeeze your fucking knee in your chest Do you ever when you do that like look at your penis just? You sound like a six-year year old woman's camel toe. You got Alaskan Airlines. You go, this is not real life. So turn off the yoga music.

I gotta see if I'm dreaming. My dick can't be this small. Dude, this is crazy. This is bullshit. I know my dick's not this small. Somebody shit their pants. I'm leaving. This whole studio is a joke. What were you saying?

I've seen some of those old ladies fart. Oh yeah, they're up ass. There's like old yoga ladies that think it's cool. Yeah, just let it go. I mean it is cool. Their farts just smell like mothballs though. It smells terrible dude. Nothing's been in their ass for fucking years.

It smells like broccoli. Yeah, it's got weird diets. I can't believe I forgot about this. Liberal diets. You eat Ukraine. Ukraine diets. So much. Ukraine diets.

Ukraine diets. Ukraine diets. Ukraine, it's got a weird diet. I can't believe I forgot about this. Liberal diets, support Ukraine. So liberal. So liberal. I had, I think I went through like a genuine humiliation ritual recently. Dude, this is gonna sound,

this sounds infinitely worse than hot yoga, but I'm real into lymph right now. Just my lymphatic system. Oh yeah, your lymph nodes, yeah. Get my lymph drained. Get jerked. Apparently, I mean bro, maybe one day. It's the ultimate node. Come on man, you know where that node is. Now just my lip at my system get my lymph drained get jerked apparently Yeah, it's close

No, it's not dude, I'm telling you I'm trying to be I'm just No, I would say it if I was I would I would say dude, this is not that's nothing Nodes down there. What is going through your mind? Blood flow totally natural. I'm just my mind. Would you stop her if she kept going? What are you talking about? If she said this isn't part of the lymphatic. Are you like healthy when it's how are you chubbed up when it's happening? I'd say so It's something crazy no, it's nothing I'm telling you it's it's for real like my little ghost This is not no no, but dude, I'm telling you this is that's nothing So then apparently they say when you fly

You're supposed to be like wearing compression stuff Yeah Cuz I get it apparently your circulation is just like trash when you're flying Just like you can get these things that are like basically like tights that you just wear under your pants that keep you all compressed On your body so Brittany was getting them She's like you want them to make them for you when you fly I'm like yeah, have them make me a bear and they're like well that's a coming like measure They're measuring me have to measure you I'm like, yeah have them make me a pair And they're like well they have to come in like measure measuring me have to measure you

I'm like, no, yeah, whatever like yoga pants, dude. I didn't know what the fuck it was Bro, so then this fucking French lady comes by our house. I thought it was gonna be a dude No, there was a dude. There was a dude Taylor there comes by the house and they're like measure Brittany They're like, oh you it's toss on the spandex pants real quick and come back out here And I was like this is some elite shit. It is really dude. I want the fucking compression I'm all about the lymph so I go in it's just it was very funny cuz I go in Put the spandex on taking this jackal parlor Pretty legit dude, I'm telling you it's pretty legit, but this is a whole different person So I'm like I'm like I just want the compression. I want to fly and feel great

They're like dude. It's night and day you're gonna feel fantastic So I'm like I love that so they like I put them on but I'm kind of low I'm kind of sag in the front a little bit you're nothing crazy But I'm wearing I'm still like I'm monitoring the whole time like come on man. Give me something Yeah, give me now not now trying to get Brittany. Maybe like rub a balmy. I wanted something decent Shrimp was it just dead I just do I had to stand there. Yeah, totally and I just stand there just with 20 minutes

Brittany goes you gotta pull your pants off it just hikes I'm like, no. This isn't a kind of an embarrassment ritual. This is the most embarrassing thing ever, dude. One of the measurements was like, dude, hold it in your center line. I'm like, what's that? You should have told Britt to work you up before they came in. I didn't know this was happening.

And then they take the one measurement is they kind of like, just kind of like wedgie you. They just kind of like work it from behind in front like come up your front I was just yeah Couldn't stop You got an old man compression socks I think the knee high socks But dude apparently for working out they're really good if you if you're compressed while you're all like apparently like they do all the athletes The NFL do this they were like compression like they do all the athletes the NFL

Do this they were like compression while they work out. You gotta get an R ring for the nose The tights for no no no no no dude a bunch of guys don't know about limp It's not your fault. You don't know about limp, but it's a good for it's a frill. It's like a serious thing I thought they were just here. No, dude Dude, you have like hundreds of holes No, they're all Joints every joint you have lymph nodes in your neck I think right here down here on every joint So if you don't move that they get like how often do you get this?

Every couple weeks whenever I can get it fitted in and then they do zero point. It's basically What is it not acupuncture? But it's acupressure where they just every knot in your back they just hold into it until it releases and they go not by not dude it's for real the best thing in the world but yes I had to stand there in spandex in my kitchen and get a melvin and just get a melvin the whole time I was just like dude this will be over soon I gotta get a bathroom just put a cucumber It's gonna be like normally well, no, I was trying I was like a French lady somebody boots on I'm like

This like normal I should I you know, this French lady doesn't care. It's just like you see my curb will just hold They got the car and laugh. Yeah, they could have bro Technically is that my've never seen anything that small. That's all nurses talk about. Technically is that micro. Fucking nurses. It's insanity. What do you mean? Bullshit. They were hanging out nurses?

They say the nastiest shit. Nurses are the dark. That's the darkness. Then they make TikToks. And it's like, I want them to scrubs. If they can fill out the scrubs, I want it so bad. I hear these stories about them in the fucking closet. Scrubs going wild.

Oh yeah, there's a video of this fucking nurse that literally looks like one of our like it could be an annivars and there's just a black dude hugging her from behind and she's on the phone with her husband. Like, yeah, I'm just going to work the night shift and this fucking like black nurses assistant just kissing your neck and she's like, yeah, it's all right. I'll just take the night shift and they both smile at the camera. I was like, Oh, what video is it? It's like a fucking video that's on Twitter. Yeah, they're making this like a fuck. Yeah. Just you, you got cuck video.

Like the one where it's like your girls in Miami. That is kind of weird just to be like, it's not even like a pornographic thing. You're just sitting there. Let your girl go to Miami. You're in the chair. You're in the chair. You can't go to Miami. You got to break out with the girls. She goes, everyone's really supportive in Miami, dude. All the content creators just like push each other to be better and get like cooler cars Everything on Twitter just like this is an unsolicited advertisement for an only fans. I want it to fucking end It's either that or what's better the chicken bake or the double chong chong You are the chill internet, man.

I am like, dude, I'm fucking, I'm just going to read. He's not. If I, if I find it, I'm barely on it. If I find something, he's like, I saw that I saw that I saw it. You can't show Bill any. No clue. Bill is the internet right now. Are you totally plugged in?

I'm plugged in, but I'm unplugged. Like now playing like guitar and stuff, I can just chill the fuck out out not go on it. But you know, I just it is funny I like you clips for the intro like sitting Shane You know you're like, oh dude check this out and then every time the dudes like yes all that Yeah, after a while you're defeated. Just stop showing what's funny to think of you Just practicing arpeggios and being like these motherfucking piece of shit shooting a trans bitch Guitar it's all gone. Yeah Something crazy is fucking

Something will feel but it comes this whole that's I started doing it so I could just relax and start looking up Yeah, you look really handsome when you're playing you called a racist well We called a racist where when you look up stuff like that They say you're all right racist or you're you call the racist for when you look up stuff like that They say you're an alright racist or you're a Russian bot you see Tim pull get fucked Dave Roof and Tim pull Lauren Southern they all talk about he knows everything that happens He just fucking tried to sue Kamala Harris for defamation and now just came out that they're all getting paid by Russia for their shows for a hundred G's a week,

a hundred G's a week. No, no way. They're saying it's fake. Well, they're saying it's Russian descent. Like Russians are using them. The deal with the right wing YouTubers have completely, they've completely collapsed on themselves. So 25 G's in aptitude, whatever you want. Yeah, we'll talk about the ryan land. The real fighting is sick. And he's like KGB. Dude, you're watching every with him. He is kind of sick. He just endorsed Kamala Harris. Putin did. Yes.

So she has a fascinating laugh and everyone in the Russian fucking crowds laughing. Or joke. I love what dudes do that on Twitter. Oh dude, this is so embarrassing. Biden's our president. We are getting left at by global leaders. It's just like a dude who works for Swiss farm. This is where the elevator stops on that one.

Yeah. We are an embarrassment to all fucking countries. Yeah. I think about like the foreign NATO councils, man. They're fucking laughing. The closer we get to Russia, the fucking they're gonna do do NATO should know that These are thoughts I had fucking I had lack of sleep because Stevie keeps diarrhea in the bed and fucking Family group chat why you had the diaper on the dog and Thomas like yo bill

I'm cool with whatever fetish you have. But like, you know, the group chat. The diaper on the dog is psychotic, bro. I knew you were going to be a weirdo with these fucking dogs. It's just when it goes to sleep, so it doesn't shit the bed. There's a clear backpack you can buy and you can walk around with two of them in it. It's literally just when they can.

You're going to be the weirdest dude on earth. It's just when they go to sleep, so I don't have to keep fucking cleaning shit out of my bed. You're going to start wearing briefs. You're going to start clean shit out of my bed. You're gonna start wearing briefs dude You're gonna start wearing briefs No, it's This is the beginning he's gonna get into exotic Right now to my Miami They ask her about like drafts. Yeah, I knew those but I also knew I you took it personally

We were on the phone Making fun for the dogs. He's like I got the good animals. I like him. I was like, I'm just Crazy Immediately I didn't even know he had a heart dude I love the dog bird in there. He tries to keep hidden from everyone. True. Like wow, wow.

Stevie, stop shitting on the diaper. We need to get Stevie a diaper. I just keep calling right now. How'd you get dog diapers? You Amazon those? Amazon. Did you say size? Super small.

XXS. XXS. Teeniest diapers. How funny was that video? I saw you were walking in them though. It was great. Funny video. It's a good video. You have good dogs. I'll stop making fun of your dog. It's okay. You got a, you got a, I had the dogs here. I'd like to take a look at the dog.

You gotta get like a little steeplechase going for him and teach eventually they're too busy pissing and shit and all over the place. Are they in the house? No, they're at my girlfriend's parents' house right now. That's where they eat. That's where they eat mulch, dude. What are you enjoying? Throw it up, man.

Yeah. Most fucks dogs. I saw a dog drink a beer yesterday. My dog is a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog.

I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. girlfriend's parents house right now. That's where they eat mulch dude. What are you doing? They're gonna throw it up man. Yeah, mulch fucks dogs up. I saw a dog drink a beer yesterday. My pop-up used to feed one dog, they get a boxer Churchill. It's not good. It's not good. And then it immediately looked it up. It's like never give a dog alcohol. Dude. It'll kill the dog. My uncle had a boxer and it would hold it in its lap and him and my pop-up would do it. They grab a Budweiser and put the bottle in his mouth and it was go Dude they're not built for it. They're not built for the brewskis. Yeah, what about like seltzers? It's dog seen built for the brewskis. You don't tell you church. Oh, it's a purple The guy who owned it died its long hair on the side purple. That's it. It's crazy

The dog's name was Churchill and it would just chug Budweiser's Live down the street for my pop-up it would leave my cousin Pat's house every morning and run down to his house and chill There for the day. Yeah, he's getting slamber. It's Half a briskey. I love when dogs just have their own life. Yeah, it's great You know like oh he comes around here They don't do that anymore nerf that world Goddamn, I was free-ranging my dogs and they attacked you Fuck my dogs will literally get dogs now. I was free-ranging them in Texas

I was like, you know, let them just run do their thing. Yeah, there's these huskies down in Texas Yeah, they ran right up to him. I had to break it up I was like damn it Huskies in Texas. I know I know who's the real criminal here. Yeah Who saved who true your rescue dad? That's they won't ever imagine Tram I'm just looking for people in the parking lots really I'm not really worried about my daughter and Jackson Yeah, I should bring him sick him. Yeah, it'll be time for me to get a cat dude Yeah, it'd be time for me to get a cat dude Timot was a good black cat. Yeah. Yeah, Mike had an orange boy. The Internet's firing me up on them Let them go to the Internet's nothing but sick ass indoor outdoor city cat

City I had one It gave me I think a terrible disease, but I had one you can't have an outdoor city. Look at cream pie so fast Yeah, that's what we need. We need that. There's a new sheriff. Yeah exactly. Yeah you should get a cat. There's no reason not to get a dog. You gotta start. Dogs are too high maintenance. You gotta start meme and Reggie and Stevie dude. Dress them up. Get a cat and when you're gone just cryogenically freeze it. LaMare fucking. Put him in Cairo. I just asked the other day, does Lamar still live in your house? Yeah, he's supposed to live there forever. His dickhead brother having like parties. He had a birthday bash. Yeah. Insane. He's really enjoyed himself.

It's like, I think you should leave her. It's cool. He had a birthday bash and he texted me about it. Living it up. He was like, can I have a party? I was like, no, dude. I was in a grump. I was being a grumpest.

Yeah. It's like, no. I was like, why do you have to go to the house? Why can't you just go to a fucking bar for your birthday? Yeah, right? Yeah, you I actually said it sarcastically. I was like yeah, you can have a party at my house instead of just going to a bar He was like great. Thank you Did they fuck it up? No, I don't know. I think there's only it wasn't I thought me and my family down there For the Texas A&M game But I had to stay here. It was probably a fucking I had the offer our cleaning lady come Before we got down there to clean up Lamar's fucking slop he thought I did that because of the party he had he thought I hired a cleaning lady

Text me was like thanks for the cleaning lady, dude. I was dying Clean up after this party. Are you guys almost done working on the show or? Yeah, okay. We're done writing it. How's it? I'm filming what? How's it end? Oh, you're just crazy. You still have to make you still have to make it. Holy shit. We're in the writers room writers room. How many girls are in your writers room couple? Billy's not gonna like the show Never ends well, bro. Bill hates girls in the right. I think it's just be the guys What to tell you Your hands are tied here. I don't know what to tell you. We did a table read which was very fun

Yeah, you have to have everyone in the room because when you're writing it you're like, I don't know if this is funny What's I got? I'm fucking writing it? It's literally John. Yeah This would be funny if this happened just we've through the script it's pretty thick right there it's looking good That's awesome, but then we did the table reader was great there was Kyla was in it How long is that funny? It's just four episodes of a show. How long does it take? So an hour and a half two hours Damn, it's like the show. Yeah, there's a read the whole show but Kyla We were doing the Kyla's line was to call Gerben a pedophile and she's going through it like she couldn't find where she was in this she like I lost

She was like, Oh, fuck. Well you look like a pedophile. Sky the rules. It's been pretty neat. It's been such a wonderful experience. Back in Philly. I've still no top golf. I've really enjoyed my time here in Philadelphia., I've- Still no Topgolf. I've really enjoyed my time here in Philadelphia.

We might not be able to chill with him. I've literally been begging you to go to Topgolf and you say we never go. But he's gonna get hounded the whole time. I'm trying to do my sobriety. I hear you. I go to Topgolf and drink water like an animal. That's psychotic.

Yeah, he just doesn't enjoy himself, bro. I love going to Topgolf. love going to top. Can we have some bruskies? Yes, please. There's a few like Bruce. There's no, no, no, no, no, no. What are some non brusky activities? We use dial up the farm. Vigils, lifting, lifting. You could lift drunk. Nah, that would suck. Don't give up, King. You can do anything, but Topgolf is clearly a bruski activity.

Yeah, that makes sense. No, that's true. There's regular activities, and then there's clearly designed for bruski activity. No, Topgolf seems- Topgolf is a bar. Bill was telling me to get fucked up in real golf. I was surprised.

Everybody gets fucking hammered. That's why every single dude loves golf. I didn't know this. Yeah, dudes get get fucked up in real golf. I was surprised. That's why every single dude loves golf. I didn't know this. Yeah. Dude's get the fucking chick who hit the dude on the golf course. No, my buddy's friend saw it happen. This fucking girl comes on a Bronco and just hops up onto a golf course and nails this fucking guy. I see. I see that it was in Deerfield, Delaware. Trump golf. He doesn't, he doesn't drink. True. Never drinks because his older brother, what happened to his older brother? He's his older brother's a dr. I had drugs Trump's dude the only interview about Kamala in the golf cart. It's a funny saying she's so fucking pathetic

Huh Someone secretly Secretly film that like yeah, he's like she's so fucking pathetic 40 chest when dudes hit 30. It's time to hit the links. Yeah, that's what bills I do. You gotta go just start Yeah, I've been out with the bros. It's you're out. You're outside for three hours driving golf carts. I like this Yeah, I think golf what it is is you're spending hours creating an alibi to eventually like split a hooker with your friend in the Poconos You spend like 20 years. You spend 20 years just doing this thing and eventually you're like let's split a hooker. Check the metadata we were together. It's the whole point of the game. I actually am jealous of my pals back home. Golfing. It is a good life.

You don't have to be good. Work Monday through Friday, and then you go, it's Friday. Links. We're hitting the links. I'm jealous of everybody. I was talking about some dude, he was like, talking about some kind of like how the team is so stacked and this guy's the best quarterback we've ever had.

I'm gonna say that till the Lord takes me from this plane. All this shit. I was just sitting there getting coffee, being being like I wish I was this dude, man Yeah, what do you mean about just like if that was my in the game? Let's just that was what I was on man Yeah, like get all the First year we took it to the limit I was in Miami when my new beach house 20 years since then we haven't been too strong in the last few years. Oh, we've been strong we're just playing by the rules you can't have a newcomer come in and Steal a show

No, I get jealous of that like having like a team I in an office you have like your team your team leader all day long I'm like spinning out just in my own head You need like I need like this guy is literally like on the phone just chillin the whole world is the fucking ball You need football. Yeah, it's just either Get is it we want and you got you got those thoughts get nuked. Those thawks get nuked by you. When I was like 21, it's all I did. I had fantasy and then it was hockey. Yes.

And this was my fucking deal. Join a roller hockey team. It was Phillies just in case nothing was going on. Yeah. I think Chiefs Ravens tonight. Is it? Kickoff, 820. Is that the first game?

We're back. Was it the first game? We're back Now I have my college now I have my pro What Gabe says fucking NFL is only real thing to watch set of college yeah, I'm kind of with him on that Gabriel Yes It's a pretty good one. What is it the Netflix thing on Pete Rose? Yeah that gambling job? Oh, yeah Yeah, that's a good one. He was throwing the games and stuff. No He's been on well a champion does next to my new you can bet on yourself Although I guess if you cut well, it's Charlie hustle, bro. It wasn't betting against himself. No, I agree

What the hell's a big deal about that There's definitely a few nights where they like to a Thursday game who get the fuck it's the middle of the season They kick him out of the Hall of Fame But his name lives on his name always yeah, I always know Peter Rose. It's fucking bullshit. I didn't realize like for the Super Bowl this year Oh Chargers the first people call my ass. Whoa That's a rare bro. NCA NCAA. Who would win it? Who's winning it? Obviously the Colorado Buffalo. No, the coach. Pran. Don't fire me up.

They almost lost. They almost lost North Dakota State. And they celebrate. Who would win the game cocks a few years ago to go say Oregon? That's a good pick. Yeah, I would say we like the Oregon Ducks. I do. I like somebody's going to have to beat the Georgia Bulldogs. That's true.

FSU is absolutely. What about Alabama? They are. They're still be good. They'll be good, but they're not still their head coach. The guy from Washington, the Boors motherfucker to Boria. Yeah, I heard they were going to give him headsets now because of that signal. Who's their head coach? That guy from Washington, DeBore or something. Motherfucker DeBore, yeah. Yeah.

I heard they were going to give him headsets now because of that signal. Because Michigan stole. Yeah. Yeah. Thieves. The quarterbacks don't, they don't have any headsets. College used to not have it. You have a microphone.

It's time. Yeah. Give it up. Give it to them. Who do you think is going to win? Who do I think? Yeah. I'll tell you what, when I saw those Georgia Bulldogs take the field, I said, those boys

look different. Better than the Fightants? They look better than tell you what, when I saw those Georgia Bulldogs take the field, I said, those boys look different. Better than the fightants? They look better than the fightants. But we'll see. I mean, the Irish look tough, dude. The Irish look tough. I still have a full blown hex on all Temple Sports. So, we're gonna rot in hell. No name's good.

They won at, like you're saying, Ed. Stole my laptop. Oh yeah, true, true, true, true, true. Temple, the university will never win another championship as long as I'm on this earth I think we can all agree Yeah, so my laptop when I was upstairs I never was open against somebody tough this weekend It's basketball who I have a problem with but it's just on the whole fucking place Drexel D1 You know what happened when they do the basketball? Temple opened against Oklahoma.

Damn, dude. 51 to 3. Ooh! You know what happened? That's fucked up. They steal my laptop. A year later, they're losing all the funding for their sports. Had to fucking close up softball across.

You lost a laptop. You little hunter. My laptop from hell. I remember I point man. I did a little law work on that case as well. That was my representation here. I point manned a little bit. I was a little lot work on that case as well. My that was my representation That's why I point man a little bit Dalton. I was a little more You're still my counsel, but I might have to just Openly met to do it in crime in the beginning of the fixer you more of a fixer

What you ran a red light? Yeah, I did not Yeah, I said I blew through a red light beep the guy in case I need you You said I blew through a red light and beat my horn. The guy is Russian. In case I need you. True. It's Russian. It's true. It's true.

And then I said I ran the red light. No. I'm statue. Mine was purely theoretical from the legal code books. I'll fight like hell. Will you really? Yeah. Do what it takes.

True. It's the only place I feel at home anymore hanging out with you guys. It's true. I'll fight like hell for you guys. You mean? Yeah. I'll fight like fucking hell for you guys. What kind of wings do'll feel like hell for you guys. You mean yeah I'll fight like fucking hell for you. What kind of wings you wanna get for real? I don't know Something nice I just hope that they have them and it's not the same same situation No, they got a wind out of my nose. You know, did you see the thing? I'm in fasting all day by the way

Have you really? Yeah, you should get in slightly fast. Yeah I've had a nice little gay death. No, I try to lose weight. I gained weight so fast, bro. You slightly fast? I had a gay little, I've had a nice little gay day. Nice. I'll lose weight. I gained weight so fast, bro. You ate Antonio's. I had Antonio's dude ever since they got a legendary dude. It's official sponsor fucking Antonio's deli on Lancaster. I told him for weeks, bro, that plays looks like go in never did.

Got grub hub. It's awesome. I got locked in classic Italian. Dude, I figured it out and I was going gonna be 181 for the rest of my life. I stopped like paying attention two weeks later I'm like 190. I was like what the fuck happened. I'd kill for those. I fucking flew up Airbnb to Texas and I'm had a scale Undertaker's theme song. I was like, yeah, let's give it a shot. It's gotta be that. I did the same thing. I was like, I can eat whatever I want.

I popped out. I was like, God, fuck! You got you. Only weigh yourself first thing in the morning. I'm gonna trim down for season two of Titus. First thing in the morning after you're pissed. That's the only true weight you got, bro. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Anything else, it's fucked. fucked. I did hit a midday

Scale that's a tough time to get yeah Certain way be surprised how much water weights in your body when you get a good lymph massage, bro Space fuck I'm telling you much jizz You'll check a quart of jizz every time you live. I'm telling you it's so important It's a totally overlooked a lymphatic saying is that your balls and nose you ever see those videos like porno videos where the Dude's balls go up on the side of his deck Like dudes are fucking but then their balls like go on the side Steroid nuts for some reason they look like what you would call it starling One of my first beats bossy

Bro spade fucked me up with this fact. How much do you think clouds way? Well aren't they heavy as far 1.1 million? Some cloud yeah clouds you my father had a good cloud debate really on the plane. I was like What the fuck are clouds yeah water I stare at them all the time they're far out looking at my dad was like good thing O'Connor wasn't on that fucking break when we go through them if they're frozen. Good point.

It's density. They do shake the plane up a little bit. They do? Although he gets pissed off. Me and Bill started talking about this. Me and Bill stopped believing in gravity. But then if the clouds are a million pounds, what's gravity? Yeah.

Aren't they water vapors or something the density issue I think it's water vapor and then it gets so high in the freeze yeah that's also my fuck don't they break when you fly to them what they should shatter that would be pretty sick yeah I have the same warning with spades like fucking I I did talk to a halo John I didn't reconsider my theory on the global floods maybe there's some water that's up in the atmosphere, but how is sea level going to rise if like you got a glass of water and you have ice in it, it doesn't go over the top. All the ice that's on the planet is up there.

If they melt, it doesn't matter. How's it going to go up? It's already as fucking high as it's going to get. You know what I mean? I was thinking about that. I think the's not gonna criticize. Think about that. Hold on, but I think that- What if the ice was sitting above the water? Exactly, then when it's out of there-

And then when it's out of there- Ice cubes do too, it's still in the fucking water. They don't sit above. They're on the- They sit in. Some ice cubes sit above the water. Then the water would rise. Do you ever get into North Pole conspiracies? Yes, dude, big time.

It's called the Black Rock. Yeah, dude. Mountain Megorod all day. You can't go- Nate told me about this. You can't, like, nobody can go there. There's no imaging. If you Google image North Pole, it's just like there's nothing. You can't like zoom in on it. It's totally restricted. What do they call the Negra something? Mount

Negra. Now we're talking. Whoa. That's racist. Not playing by the rules. But it's all, it translates to Black Rock. Yeah, you can't, you literally can't like go near it. Nobody can go anywhere near the North Pole. And they don't give a fuck about the other ones. They all have dibs on the South Pole. They have documentaries about the South Pole. Russia. The South Pole is so teeny tiny though.

I think you got these backwards. Okay, I'm again, I'm beginning to confuse. Antarctica is huge, bro. The ice ball. One's huge. Which one's off limits? The South Pole, I think is off limits. Is that because that's where they're filming True Detective 4? North Pole is like this magical place where Santa is. Think about it. Where are the penguins? Where are the penguins? Are they in Antarctica? Where are the polar bears? Antarctica? Nope. They're not? Where are the polar bears? Antarctica? Nope. They're not? Where are the polar bears?

They don't hang out with the penguins. North Pole. They're in the North Pole? Yeah. Damn. Do you see that one video, the albino one? They don't even hang out with penguins. There was this albino grizzle bear

and they kept catching him because they thought he was a lost polar bear and they kept sending him up there but he just went albino grizzle bear. He kept trying to get back and it happened like four times, the same bear. You guys see a real shitty bear come out of that The what I'll say this good shitty bear

What the one coming out of hibernation? It's all the bears come out hibernation. They're all fucked up. I wish we hibernate it's so sweet Magic like once a year you come out of the cave and all your boys are like we're back Be awesome Going into hibernation. Yeah. You had like a big, like night in the cave. You're like, all right, dude, we're going out.

Oh my God. He's total bedhead. Unless I got my coffee. You got total bedhead. That's when you, the two that sp paid after a few dream wells, bro. You're doing drugs. I mean, space, we're doing drugs. They have this shit called drugs all the time. Gas station drugs. They got this shit. You can get an Amazon call about a dream well. What is it? So like it's a sleep aid.

So I was like, first of all, I started vaping, which is a bad idea. Yeah. Yeah. Keeps me up all night. So then I started drinking these dream wells, but you're only supposed to have one, but I let I've ripped like three of these things. What's in it though? So I'm like, it's all natural shit. And I think five milligrams of melatonin, a very small amount. Okay. But dude, it gives 15, you did 15 dude. I mean, look at the ingredients. I'll be chilling, watching TV and I'm like awake, but i'm like dude I'm starting to get fucked up. I started dude. That stuff's uncomfortable when he kicks in like lemon balm And all sorts of but I sleep like a baby you have thoughts that are not I start going to sleep and getting spooked out Because i'm having dream thoughts, but my eyes are awake. Yeah, whenever I take melatonin i'll be like

I'm just gonna read a book and i'm like shit's not even working. I'll go to like put a book down I'm like, oh my arm's heavy as fuck. Yeah, I do like audio books on like World War two or like mescal and it's like I fucking wake up and the books finished Yeah, I do what happened listen to rogue. I fall asleep that motherfucker be right Rogan's always in my dreams. What do you mean? You didn't bring the podcast? I thought you fucking brought it What do you mean? I fucking brought it. Joe, what do you mean? Dana Jones in your dreams? Did you see-

Did you fall asleep to Rogan's whole book? I fell asleep, right? And I was on the Dreamwells and on my YouTube was going into him and Action Bronson working out. And then that was like in my dream. And they were like doing fucking- It was good. I'm going down.

And Rogan in the dream, in my, and Rogan in the video goes, you're just fat cause of pasta. And then in my dream it was like, you're fat cause of pasta, you're fat cause of pasta. Pasta's so good though. I felt like Trump fucking tweet and I woke up in my head, just kept saying many such cases.

Many such cases agree. Perfectly normal kid goes into doctor, gets vaccine, comes out with autism, many such cases. Every morning I woke up. Is that what he talked to RFK and they leaked the phone? That's just a random ass fucking thing. But I'm going down Virginia way. Fucking innocent guy.

Why are you going down Virginia way? He's going in the CIA gateway process. Oh yeah, you're doing the Monroe Institute. Heavy sync. What is that? They play fucking binaural beats and it syncs your brain waves like men who stare at good shit. He could travel through consciousness.

What are you gonna be able to read minds? Remote viewing. Eat wings? Nope, try again. That was a good guess. Me naked. Close. What am I doing to you while you're naked? Fondling me. I'm going to come at you.

Good remote view. Try again. I can't say that out loud. Try it again. I can't say that out loud. I can't say that. No, I was talking about I was thinking about cream pie and spud Yo, man, I'm gonna go see Jones live dude go with where backstage where talk reading p.m. Reading p.m. Nice 23rd Forgetting backstage I'm already for three. What are you doing? Is it a Saturday?

Bro, get him backstage. I'm already 4th round. Is it a Saturday? What day is it? I don't know. I spurred balled it under Dreamwells. I was like, I'm going to see Alex Jones! You do Airbnbs? That'll be good.

It might be weird though. I've been in a couple of these things Yeah, we went to Peterson one time. That was kind of uncomfortable. We went a while back thought it was good. We went a while back and it was like... But we were way too close. It was good when he talked. We were right up front. And it was just like Ruben and the crowd work was getting me weird.

Where it was like, are we fucking all Republicans? But Jones is probably going to be like in Reading. They're going to fucking roar. Jones will cross. He's going to be a lion. He's a lion. See these are the type of cool things I'm trying to avoid during the week. Why?

You think me and Spud are not hitting the booskies? Bill he's working. It's the 23rd. He's got a TV show to make. I'll be in Toronto on a Monday? No I'm there that Saturday. Sunday I'll be coming back from Toronto. Go to Reading. I'm gonna put you on to the type 2 cannabis

I'm all about it right now. They make now they sell eagle. Can you fly with totally? Yeah, I do but the Aspirin dude, they're starting they're starting to dial it back down now They're starting to dial it back down now where you can get weed. That's low THC It's like a weed I can smell George Washington weed. you can literally smoke a joint of it and you're chilling If i said this is what i've been asking for i'm telling you dude you can get it legal because it's they measure it in Thca last time i took one hit of weed i had to kind of have him come pick me up bro You can blaze you can blaze george washington and just chill george washington i'm telling you drink the bruskies No, dude, you tell me these days off the bruskies take a few days off the Bruce's just

George Washington I was when we went out on my sleep I wanted a third beer so bad and I was gonna be like Bill kind of over there cut it But then I was like, no, I'm a known sitter. What are the pig? What are the George Washington activities? What do you do anything you want you could chill that could be he was a server That's what I'm saying for Joe would be good good you could blaze to George Washington go to Jones come back really a bruski activity the Jones Think about the speech you just mean they're going Then like the alcohol wears off you're driving all the way home I could just be like Yeah, true if we if I get a reading with you we're getting a hotel that's a slumber party with the other freaks in Tony do you guys start puffing just try puffing the George Washington I brought I brought like

You guys are puffing just try puffing the George Washington. I brought I brought like It's TM that yellow I will shit you can just fucking die now like you're good The yellow guy just sitting there just fucking die I'll take care of the kids just die. He's like That was a fucked up one that was good though that was like one of those movies where you watch it again You're like, oh, yeah, that's coming. Yeah Housing liquor. Oh, yeah, it's crazy fucking free himself from from the matrix obviously liquor is the fucking legit serious beer You'd have to you work your way out though. Yeah Tate tweet where he talks about how he lives in a house. That's like no gay stuff at all. It's just sex traffic work No, yeah, it's just work. He's making an instruction to come back where he's like, dude. My house is just a podcast studio

Say place I lay down no, he goes no gay stuff No, like statues no artwork. He's like, it's just work 24 7. He's podcast What do you have a picture in your house there's a picture of Andrew Tate on a fucking couch and it literally looks like he has no Cocking balls. That's great. Yeah, and you're taking No, I mean I've've never gotten too hard about the guy. Yeah, Oik was saying that he's a fucking sex trafficker. Sex trafficker. Oik's not with him.

It's not good. Sorry, but Oik's your guy. Oik's the guy. Oik's, yeah, obviously. Who's better, Oik or Jones? Oik's just about to ask the same question. Who's better? Jones is more of an entertainer.

Jones is also in a watch. Oik is the God, you know what I mean? He came first. Jones is a prophet. Yeah. So he's trying to compare Jesus and Moses. Yeah. I'm not getting any who's the best.

Jesus by a mile. True. All right, you got a fucking crush on guitar? Cry babies, dude. Cry baby girl. What? Fucking panther it blows. Ike's probably more of a Noah.

I can't understand what you're saying. They got mad because I was saying who my favorite guitarists were he's in the comments big. Yeah, it's all one You're online, bro. He saw it's the fucking it's that water and Lord of the Rings when they're going to fucking Mordor You'd look in you just see the one dead person like you suck Try to fight my way out How do you figure that actually? The elves from the high-age. The other guy comes up like, yeah, you're fat and gay. Dude, you need to gain weight.

You need Samwise to pull you out. Gamgee's a white dude for Harris right now. Who is? White dude for Harris, Gamgee. Who's Gamgee? Samwise Gamgee. He's a white dude for Harris? He's a big Hollywood guy. Never forget, he was on Goonies with Steven Spielberg. Yeah. God knows what that motherfucker's up to. Yeah, I still can't wrap my head around the whole appeal.

What whole appeal? Come on Harris. She's a kick-ass woman. Ben Stiller already talked about it. I don't see. They got a lot of momentum Matt. Come on. Just feel the change happening. It's gonna be great. It's real. It's It's real. It's about joy. Could you let it in? It's true dude. That was nice You watch One of their fucking things you Free bread one of their like one of Kamala Harris's slogans is literally a Nazi slogan What is a it's like joy was something I forget what the fuck it's called

Oprah came out and said it Oprah went joy With something i forget what the fuck it's called Oprah came out and said it Oprah went joy Really? Lowry was fucking with john a god john a god yeah what's the problem john a god's a guy He said he like ran a trafficking thing in brazil and then went to jail for it. Oh, man. He's the best He's my magic he's like this dude that like hypnotized people He could put a needle in your eye and the people don't even freak the fuck out He's like some kind of a healer his oprah's bro? So Oprah had him on yeah they were like boys. What did

the guy do? He was like a religious he called him John of God yeah. But then he was I think he was trying to make babies with little girls. Strength through joy. That's a Nazi thing? It's a Nazi thing yeah. Oh wow. Interesting. What are you gonna do? I'll be curious man. I sometimes we're just in the Matrix. It's a Nazi thing. It's a Nazi thing, yeah. Oh, wow. Interesting. What are you gonna do? I'll be curious, man. I feel like sometimes we're just in the Matrix, honestly. It's just weird to me that people are for real,

like being like, nah, dude, she's chill. Yeah, you rape someone if you're saying that. On the drive here, I saw a nice Kamala next to a Ukraine flag. Yeah. It's just very funny that that's there. I'm on medication. The joy of people, their party line is is like we need the war in Russia also

Get this indian blackjack. Yeah, it's like why don't we slow down on wars? Yeah, dude If you ever see any of these videos I watched a guy is like his whole bottom half was out But he was like his butt was like pulsing. It was like trying to shit and he was still awake. He was like, oh no He's like, yeah dude robbing and they're like, yeah fucking $75 drones and just drop their balls on them That's what I'm saying. Do these guys throw the kid with Down syndrome in the fucking stop the violence? Yeah true hashtag Stop. I got killed talking like that pristine. Yep, please stop and stop being mean on the news They're also really mean on the news

Yeah, your boy who's your boy from Star Wars? Nothing hurts more than this Skywalking down from the top of the mountain Walker was always a fucking turn. Yeah, you know I was even when I was a young man. I was a solo boy. He never got a Never turned it in anything else. He just does voices for video games He just sit there on like is it damn? He's a hard damn. Yeah He's like there's a picture of like some things obsessive Trump's thick. I swear Yeah, he started to small as he banged Stormy Daniels Mark Hamill Mark Hamill's probably like my size And why is Mark Hamill from a dick? They're obsessed with this. Yes with text dude

They're obsessed with the way Trump looks but you can't say anything about the way they look or else they'll freak. Tell you what, I watched that D. Shambhav and that motherfucking can't golf. They use some of Trump's shots. Trump's very good. There's a video where he's golfing with the only Biden's better golfer than a bro. Do you see Biden coming out of the tiny desk?

Shouldn't have brought up that fucker bod. Did you see Biden come out on what? He just came out in a little tiny desk. He did it. He just came out in a small ass desk and started like talking. Hey folks, did a fireside chat. He's so gone. It's insane. They started asking questions and he just moved like really slow to try to avoid it and then to get him out of the room. Yeah. Mr. President, what do you think about your son? And just, all right, all right, they said, I can't answer questions.

Back into the liquid tank. It is crazy to think about it, because we don't have a president right now. You see the Trump mosquitoes? Yes, that was nice. Wait, what was that? We hate mosquitoes. A mosquito flew in his face.

Mosquitoes, we don't like mosquitoes. We don't want them anywhere around. Mosquitoes. Democrats who like mosquitoes. Oh my God. You see that hip piece they did on Trump where they're like, he's got PTSD and all he talks about is how he was shot. All he does is sit at home and rewatch the footage of him getting shot at. Almost dying. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

They're trying to pull this thing like he's not fit for it. Cause he got shot. That's how hard that faded. That faded so fast. It didn't fade. Joy took it over, bro. Now you know, you know what took it over? Hock to it. Yeah. Hock to it had more Google searches than Trump's assassination. Even Hock to it is before Trump's assassination. Anybody can fall into that. First of all, she doesn't want to be, she doesn't want to go by that anymore. Please get her on. Yeah. I'll do it. That was way before Trump. We don't put celebs on bro. Okay. Paul, who? No. Um,

who's the other Paul? Jake Paul just signed her to his company. Of course they're getting signed. Bill's got the handout. Bill's like, let me see your phone. I guess you're in the MSSP umbrella. Did you take care of Russia? I'll get you some wings. Split wings. Your compensation. Thank That'll be. Split wings.

It's your compensation. Thank you very much. Chicken wings. And a bruskie. But you have to have a couple bruskies. I have a few, don't I? I don't have too many. You know that feeling you had the other five days?

I like that. I'm like the inverse. That's a fucking good feeling. I hate, dude, I hate that life. You know, life feels good, yeah. I couldn't believe it. I hate feeling hungover so much. I sometimes think about how good Matt must feel

because he also isn't addicted to coffee. So it's like, Matt's just on body. Cobby's too nice, especially with the fall coming around. With the fall, it's tough. I'll just wake up at seven in the morning. This is my seizing. I still stay cold brew, dude. I'll stay cold brew too.

You're a cold ass motherfucker, bro. It's icy, dude. It's not hot. Ice man. I'm telling you, you guys obviously won't do this, but you can still drink coffee and start dialing down the caffeine by doing a blend of Decaf yeah, I'm not really ready to give up coffee, but I mean you feel you feel feel rips I push I push all these little drugs. I push them to one

You get soup what 600 milligrams? I've seen Do you get really tired in the afternoon? Is it just like completely? I just said dude you never sleep on This never shuts off Then it does love your oral world does not make sense I like the wind will blow and then there'll be no thoughts and then I'm like I want to get wings and then that'll be like It's got of nice.

It's like a storm and then it's like swing. In the fall, this is my time because I like to wear hoodies. Fall stuff. I don't have to worry about the sweating. Yeah, having a hot beverage in the fall. And the sweating pants. I love it. I wish you guys liked football.

I'm hot all the way through. You have no idea how nice this is. Yeah, true. It's football time. I know. I wish I... I've tried to watch it. I I just don't I can watch it. I just I can't get that into it. It's the best I like if you're chilling or watching the football I get into it my god. It's fucking sick. But you know, I Got pgst. So excited

Yeah, that's all do you have any of your old face hell no Not a couple brewski's and asked one of my boys for a high school tape last night To please put it up if I might hit a million views I hit it if I if I highlight tape Did you make a highlight tape? Yeah? Oh, yeah, you got fucking recruited and you didn't I know dude fucking he wasn't trying to play college Ball here's a bad boy on the team to see Adam would not pay was the ball brother problem with coach trying to play college ball. He was a bad boy on the team too. Sleazy Adam would not pass the ball brother. Problem with coach.

Problem with coach. Shut up coach. There's a lot of politics in high school. It's crazy. You know? Yeah. People who didn't play always blame the coach. I played fucking both ways also.

So why did you quit? Why'd I quit? Yeah. I watched a black dude run a 4-3-4-3. I was like, all right. Were you only playing football to go to the league? No. So who cares if I'm black?

I stopped playing in college. What do you want me to do, play fucking D3 in college? You could have. Fuck that. Bill's carrying. I thought you didn't play your senior year. Yes, I did. Oh, never mind.

Come on, bro. You should have stopped. I thought I could have swung. You think I'd leave the guys behind like that? I thought you did. Hell no. Oh, my bad. No, he's not walls, man.

This whole time I thought you quit after your junior year. Does that change things? Junior year won state titles. Changes things entirely. Junior year won state titles at the end of our senior year. This whole time I thought you were for real gay Bill. No. Stay in the state with Delaware is crazy.

What? Yeah. Well, is it a state? It's a state, but I mean. So it's a state championship. That's how you stop the counter. Damn. I got to watch that live.

Is this the original music? That was exciting. No, this isn't as hot as it was. It was just guys from Notre Dame. The naked guy Shane was looking at. No, I did not see his penis. Okay. So they just take their pants off. They don't even get a lock room. Dude. It's crazy. They could tell. Did they do that to you in college? They knew I was straight. They could tell I was a straight man just by looking at me. They said we can take up you're just tighten your lips So they pull their pants down Like this the next guy down it's a good game don't be shy We should probably yeah, I got a fart Matt has to do a show. Oh, yeah Which probably yeah, I got a fart Matt has to do a show. Oh, yeah My mommy and daddy they're coming to the early show that's crazy what times early show seven some I should probably get ready. Oh, I'm having like poop cramps. Everyone you have to poop me like a weird crap

Yeah, go upstairs my third floor. I got the good. Yeah up there. He has a royal toilet It could just be gaspanes. Oh just I didn't eat all day I wolf down a bunch of food with the safety on all around the ground. No, I'm like, I want you to the sexual please for a love of you. You have a dog. It is a washable couch. You can wash any such. It's doggy dog is your like manhood can for real. That's not well, let's do it. Kind of reminds me of the monkeys that go like this. Yeah. Oh, there's a bet.

There's a rat for the boy. I won't put it on Reggie. I'm not cutting his balls off either. That's good. You should have him sire a litter dude. I know I would. True. Get paid. You could have 50 Pomeranians.

Not here. You could be the king of the Pomeranians. No. Imagine walking in like you couldn't not step on them. There's everywhere. The lady I got them from has 15 in her house. Damn. Must smell weird. In Arizona way. It's a weird place. They gave me a

fucking ticket there. 310th? What? 310th? Yeah, I think we were. Or no, what were we on? What's that highway? What's that highway that goes from... Let him go. Let him go. Oh! Stop! Stop! What's that highway what's that highway that goes from Stop well actually you gotta work you gotta work clockwise. Yeah, that's That's what she's doing do

You never got fruit of a vicious fart cramp it's like like drop a fart to end the cast. It's not. Get it in the mic. It's like, dude, put the mic down. Put the mic down. Stand up and drop a fart to end the cast. The boys are back in town. What is going on? Dude, he's in pain, bro.

Get that mic down there. Stand up. I can't, dude. It hurts. Stand up. Right in the microphone like a man. Do you ever see little kids get this? It's hilarious.

See what I'm talking about? I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm going dude it hurts. Stand up. Oh fuck. Stand up. Right into the microphone like a man. Do you ever see little kids get this? This is hilarious. This is going to be a dump dude. See, we got that guy yoga. Hold on. You have to wash that mic. Careful now. Bro, pause. I have to work it out dude. This is like little kids do. This is hilarious. I have to just take a shit. I can't.

Work it out the other way. This is your brother. You're asking his face. I just. I can't even stand, dude, it hurts. All right, let's wrap it, you're not gonna bless us? There's no fart, it's like for real, it's just pain. I would fart, if this was a hard fart, I would let it out.