Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 515 - Lol @ The Unc (feat. Billy)

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Warmode @ https://www.patreon.com/warmode Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Go See Shawn Gardini in SLC this weekend if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/ surprise :) hot cast for you. Just a little Thursday blessing nbd. Please enjoy. God Bless. 

fired up and guess who just got back today. Yeah, baby. I'm going to do my best not to get fired up. Why? Because of the baby. That's white noise. That's white noise. Trying so hard. He kind of blew it there. I don't see it. Whatever. I mean, you're a Texas taxes, you're turning taxes blue. No, no, no, dude. I thought it was going to be no contest. He fell for all of her traps. Stevie, get over here. Yeah, he fell right into everything she was doing and like she would contradict her.

And I get it. Obviously look man in the arena. Obviously I get it. But it's like his three on one bro. It was crazy. She admitted that covid came from China. That was like a whole thing against Trump. That is what I only caught the end. I only caught the end. I didn't see that. You saw the wheels were off at that point. Exactly. He had her in the first half and then she didn't. I mean,

I'm like a rape victim. Listen to her. I disassociate. I'm like out of my body. Once I hear a girl like, let me explain something. I'm just like, Oh my God, Oh my God, this is the worst shit in the world. Let me explain something. I'm just like, oh my God, oh my God, this is the worst shit in the world. Just say you're a PTSD dude. You don't need to use that. I can't stand that shit bro. You're a male. You should specify you're a male. Same old thing you've always been saying. You should specify you feel like a man on man rape victim. Yeah, yeah. The only part that... I'll admit, I got triggered.

I'm not above getting triggered. I got triggered the whole time. I got triggered by the libs dude. I got triggered when she was like he's so divisive Dude done with your shot of stuff No, but I'm saying it's like the Dems being like you guys are obsessed with race. Yeah, it's crazy Yeah, you guys let me start a black lives matter you freaks, dude. I was I was I was literally gripping my sheets in bed being like, are you fucking serious right now?

We've all become our fathers. I used to watch my dad watch Obama do the state of the union and be like, fucking bullshit. Better off than ever. And I'd watch him. I'd be like, you fucking dumb ass. What are you carrying? Now I'm doing, I'm the same guy. Yeah, no, that was egregious. I mean, for sure. But that was egregious last night.

That was crazy. And then she'd be like, let's just all like pump each other up. And then next sentence, she was like, he's such a fucking piece of shit. She was like, all he does is name call. And then they're like, he's literally a threat to democracy. We need to destroy him. He is the devil. Yeah. Like I'm here for you. It's like, dude, you gave people the maximum sentence for weed. You're a bad person. No, she was. Let's get it out. It's like dude you gave people the maximum sentence for weed. You're a bad person

Prosecutor that's all she cared about was the people Prosecutor she's like even dick Cheney. We have the great dick Cheney on our side It's like is anyone listening to Goldman Sachs and dick Cheney promote me. It's like yeah, that's the worst fucking ad You could possibly run for yourself. Whatever. Look, we got that out of our system. I'm pissed off. Obviously, 20,000 Haitians in a small town in Springfield,

Ohio is crazy. It's a bad idea. That's crazy. And then dude, that shit's real. We'll start soon. We'll start soon. Let's just get it out. That shit's real.

No shit is real. And she did want gender affirming care for illegal immigrants. Yes. And she wanted to take guns, which she said she didn't. The other thing that pissed me off was they were fact checking. Hold on. Can we start right now? Let's start over.

So we're not, you know. Can we please start with gender? Gender affirming care for illegal immigrants is so fucking crazy Do a fucking wand or something. That's great brought it up. People are laughing at him. Yeah What a fucking idiot. It's like no they that's real they invert the truth. Yeah It's all imagine being a very stoic mexican man, dude Here's what you're like dude I've seen one before stoic as guess how you get into this country thinking

you're going to live your dreams and they take you in the room and say, bro, you're getting tits. And you don't think the lads, the lads, some of those lads would be like, you will see why not. When I used to go to the dump, I saw that shit. There was one Mexican dude with monster tits and they would unload the truck. You saw Kamala's Frankenstein? Yes, literally. I'm not kidding. There's one. You saw Kamala's work. There's one that transitioned and fucking.

The transitioned. Dude, it was wild. I would look over and look at the rest of Mexico. What? He was at a trash dump. He was at a trash dump, yeah. Like just bolt-ons. Like not even trying to get like natural looking tits.

They were just fucking fake. You saw one of Kamala's abominations. Yes, yes. One of her mis fucking fake. You saw, you saw one of Kamala's abomination. Yes. Yes. One of her misfit toys. Hold on dude. They probably did it for a fucking commercial. Like, look, we're going to give you tits. We'll give you 25,000. No, I'm saying for like a Kamala commercial, they probably went up to some of Mexican.

We're like, we'll give you tits. We'll give you 50 grand cash. She was probably just like, she, she. He was in one of those viral videos where he holds up a cardboard sign with like something mean. Somebody said, yeah, trash dumps. She'll make fun of my tits. Just dropped the card and huge double D's behind him. It was great. They were powerful tits.

I saw him like, God damn, bro. Got huge tits. Well, I'm done. That was shit. Fire me up. I can't hide who I am, dude, it got me. It's gonna annoy you. I tried to fight it.

Any chick fucking scream at you is gonna annoy you. It was dispiriting for sure to watch that. I was like, oh shit, it's on, I turn it on, I'm like, he's about to be crushing her and I'm watching him just like. I knew he wouldn't. I knew going into it he wasn't gonna crush her. She clearly practiced speeches

that she gave throughout the thing. Oh, you don't know about the earring? They knew exactly what he was gonna bring up. You don't know about the earring? What earring? She was she clearly practiced speeches that she gave throughout the thing They knew exactly what he was gonna bring up, you know about the earring. What are you? Oh, she had a microphone She had an earring that is there's ads. I mean there's ads for the same exact earring That is a microphone in your ear, but it's an earring You can look at the fuck up dude. I swear to God. I assume I mean dude they can She can get a little implant undetectable ear again Biden had one on the last one did he probably have fucking like five dude he probably was fucking out of his body he might

have had a dude in a mocap suit like in the basement of the White House so yeah I looked at the news no Kamala Harris wasn't wearing one of those earpiece yeah all right I'm debunked. I guess he bunked Also, dude, they're fact-checking Trump in real time all day long and Kamau brought that dumb shit with fine people on both sides And even snopes says that's the miss that's misleading Trump didn't just say there's fine people on both sides talking about fucking racists and Tiki torch. You can't hold on though before Before we go, you can't claim earpiece. That's conceding a loss. You can't, you can't, you can't claim audio earpiece.

Why? Cause it looks like you're sour grapes. I'm not sour grapes. I know, but it just looks like if you're like, well, the reason she wanted to. I don't think, yeah, I don't think she wants. Well, then don't talk about the earpiece. All right. I'll shut up.

I'm just saying, let me coach you. Cheating. He's got the next one. Her and Michigan are in the same fucking boat. Yo, dude. Oh my God. I fucking forgot. I saw that. What the fuck happened to you? We're looking good this year. We get taken out by NIU, bro.

Did you cry? No, but I was I had a show that night in Atlanta and Notre Dame lost to Northern Illinois at home this week. And worst loss in, I mean. Program history, man. It's up there, it's one of the worst. What was the score? It's up there.

They lost by two, they lost by a field goal. Hey, fucking say it. Northern Illinois? Northern Illinois, bro. The Huskies. That's a Mac school that came into South Bend and beat Notre Dame in the home opener. I mean, it's a program crushing. Well, good for the coach. Dude was fucking crying.

Like it was nice. Yeah, he's real pumped for his guys. But I had a show that night and I just leave as soon as the game ended. I literally sat on the edge of my hotel, held my hotel bed, dressed, waiting to go to the show. The car was downstairs. I was like, hold on, I'm not leaving yet. I gotta watch this game. Field goal goes in, I go, all right, fine, let's go to the show.

I had to- You gotta do arena. My lady was with me. My lady was with me and I had to pretend I wasn't. I was trying so hard not to spaz. Yeah. I was- Eyes gazing off the distance.

I was fucking, I was dead silent. It was like I had 45 minute drive to the arena. I was silent the entire ride. I sat shotgun in the car. I saw that. I wanted to text it like, God damn, that's fucking insane. I haven't played NCAA since college football is dead to me right now. Why not us? Why can't we get one? And then we get one against Texas A&M. And what do I get? Northern Illinois next week. That sucks so bad.

And I was talking shit to people after the A&M win. Were you actually? Yeah, I was going, yeah, you guys said Notre Dame sucked. Suck my dick, dude. SCC's pretty good, huh? Suck my dick. And then here comes another No Name. That might be good for their season, though. That might be one of those things.

It's like such a deep world. Matt, I hear you. There's no offense. This is a nice girlfriend take you're giving me. No offense. This could absolutely take them apart. I know you're just being a supportive friend. I know you're being supportive.

This could set the program back five years. We literally could mean my dad never gets to see a championship. One else type of loss. You should start. You should fire the entire thing. Everything has to start over. Oh God. I thought they could all bond together under like a deep personal low.

Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong. Florida Gators did that deep inside. I believe that is what's going to happen. I hear you You think about the nuts and bolts of the regime it was a disastrous loss it affected my my mood on Saturday in the show I Had to address it pretty early in the show. I say guys and they're all Georgia fans. So they're all going I sit pretty early in the show. I say, guys, and they're all Georgia fans, so they're all going, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Damn, the whole arena was barking at me. You're a bit of a mother hand, bro.

What do you mean? The dogs are just kind of gravitating towards you. Maybe I am. I never see yourself, so I don't know. What? I never see it. What are you talking about? He's a lover of animals, dude.

He's a lover of animals and all creatures. Francis of Assisi. Yeah, especially you, bro. They're talking about fucking killing the cats. What would you do if a Haitian got a tibble? That'd be a problem. I'd be upset. Who's killing the cats?

The Haitians. Some of the Haitians killed the cat, but it wasn't a Haitian that ate that cat. That lady? Yeah, it was just a lady on fucking basalt. Yeah, I was dying. The fucking one girl was like, that's not a Haitian. That's just cat that lady. Yeah, it was just a lady on fucking basalt. Yeah, I was died The fucking one girl is like that's not a Haitian. That's just a black lady We don't care about race it's like that's technically not that type of black person

Well, yeah, she was saying it was a yeah I mean well right now there I watched a video on Aurora, Colorado and the guy was trying to prove they're like Venezuelan gang members and most people were like She's a gangs and then one guy came out was like man. It's not fucking gangs everyone They've been people been shooting here forever. He thinks that he's like they're definitely being bust in here But he's like he's like there's more going on than we can ever put together. It's like fuck. Yeah, dude nice Yeah, it's a government coup. Yeah, he's like yeah think there's something else is that something else is at play here. Nice. Can't get you can't get lost in the weeds. I don't know overall disastrous stretch of days for me. That's tough. Wednesday. This is day four. Let's go. You're glowing, bro. I hate it. I'm getting drunk.

When? Soon. How does the how's it been leaving like a five day stretch and then hitting like a hangover? Because I guess what you have like the clarity to juxtapose. Yeah. How's that been? Same same as it ever was. I mean, it's way easier to take five days off and get a hangover than drink for five days and get a hangover on the fifth.

You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a significantly better experience. Yeah, true. That makes sense. Are you pissed that intake little take a little Tunchie as fucking the Super Bowl? Another L, dude. Another L. Kendrick in fucking the dirty South. That's fine.

Do you know about that? No, what? Fucking, I think the Super Bowls in St. Louis, or was it? New Orleans. New Orleans, Louisiana, yeah. And they could have got fucking Tunchie, but they didn't they picked Kendrick

Bird man's pissed Kendrick Lamar is doing halftime. Is he really gonna call Drake a pedophile in front of the entire world? Yep Birdman stun is pissed Berman just tweeted. This is some hate and shit for real It is some hate and shit dude, and then watched a little Wayne perform at WrestleMania and it was freaking horrible. Maybe he is a tough crowd for a rap concert. Yeah. Liv biscuit rocked WrestleMania. Did he play? Yeah. I think he did the undertaker's intro. Dude, I had a dream where I was sniping

people and every time I had a headshot, the undertaker interest intro dude. I had a dream where I was sniping people and every time I had a headshot the undertaker interest are playing All right, it's pretty sick. That's all I got This week Dog whizzing Now limb biscuit played keep on rolling baby and No, Limp Bizkit played keep on rolling baby and Undertaker rode a motorcycle down the ramp at Mania. I mean, dude, you can't really beat that. It's as good as it gets.

That does fuck me up because that's like where I started off with what is cool. Like my whole entire foundation of what is cool is wrestling. So for a long time, I would just stone cold stunner my cousins building on the coolest guy on the planet. This is what you do to everyone Hold on a stunner is pretty fucking satisfying. It's really dangerous They got so bad to a point where I came home from the mountains one weekend And I call I like whenever knocked up for Frank's like y'all let's go play outside and he knew it was coming He's like dude. I know you're gonna stun him. He's a guy. I swear to God. I'm not I fucking started over the front

You kick him in the stomach. did you just pull him back? It's a stone cold stunner. He's my fucking hero, bro. He knew it was coming. Dude, to have the retarded cousin walk over to your house and knock on the door and be like, he's gonna fucking stun him. Mary just reminded me what I did to her

when I was like fucking three. What the fuck are those socks? No shows, so it doesn't stink. What is it? I'm wearing fucking profile socks. So my fucking. Let him get a profile of the side on that. My van. Oh, I see your side, brother.

I know you're talking about like a little ballerina slippers. Yeah, I'm like sketch, bro. So what happened? What did you do to our cousin when you were three? Oh, she, I was like doing something to Frank at the swing set and she's like Billy stop. And I let her just look to her. I go, you're a fucking bitch. And I ran home and she told him Marsha and then I got my mouth washed out. So I was like, I remember getting my mouth washed out for so fucking through reporters. Like fuck you bitch. I had a baseball bat and blew my uncle's headlight out for no reason Billy went on a spree I saw you walking around that thing and I was like what the fuck and I was like whatever and then you

Well, you hit our dog in the stomach we had an elder dog. I don't remember that He was a tiny time Billy was like very very little I didn't know what was going on I think you broke uncle Jack's tail light and then you hit our like our dog was like dying You hit it in the stomach and it just pissed everywhere Never or be like I was watching fucking wrestling Just gut I mean I should I use he was wasn't even like of a conscious age That's why I was just kind of like we're going with that bet. It's like fucking Hitler in art school, dude They wouldn't let me skate.

You should just let the man into art school. If you would have let me skate, it wouldn't do this shit. They would have skateboard competitions and not let me skate. You were too young. You couldn't skate yet. You got hurt. You couldn't have gotten hurt. I don't care. I would still go hard. No, you were trying to skip the normal process of things. You had to practice wrestling moves for so many years. Then you could skate. Yes. You have to practice. Yeah. You have to do it for several years.

And you weren't really a big skateboarder from what I remember. Some guys go straight from wrestling moves to football. I did. Yeah. And that's a good progression. Skater is a fucking deadly thing to put in the mix. Skaters that can fucking kill. It's like all Navy Seals are skaters.

Or football. It's one or the other. seals or skaters or football. It's one of the other skaters or football, snow, a surfer types, pretty much like Wes Watson skaters, surfers, snowboarder from Diego. Why do you have to make fun of me? You? Yeah. Why? So your socks and for me off guard, honestly,

inferring that something I thought you were wearing your ladies socks. Nah, these are just, they just caught me off guard. That's all. You know, I didn't mean to make fun of you. I'm sorry. Oh, he's doing it though. Sorry. They're low profile. They're low profile socks. You wear, they're good with like loafers and stuff. Yeah. My T is high right now. Is it for real? I've been playing war hammer space, war hammer space Marine two to dude Reggie's out Bro, don't distract from the war hammer discussion. Yeah, I'm sorry. What is that? Is that like somebody rocks World Warcraft shit? No, this one's uh, this one's like Gears of War Oh Gears Wars was sick like a new Gears of War all around me are familiar faces

That's the greatest commercial for a fucking video game ever. It was so nice. Xbox 360 came out. Oh my God. Do you remember that, Matt? No, so this isn't like goblins and stuff. This is like mortals. No, there are goblins, but I'm not controlling the goblins. I'm controlling one guy. I'm controlling a space marine named Titus.

And right now we're fighting the Tyranids. We're trying to, we gotta get rid of the Tyranids. Did you get the PS5? Don't have a Tyranid, man. No, I do. That would be, I be love to leave my reality engaging like a fucking space battle with aliens right now. It'd be awesome. You can do it. Get a PS5. It just came out.

I know, dude. I just I just know myself. I will fuck with this game, dude. I know I would. It's in the future. Just war and the humans have resorted to like religion. It's pretty sick. Awesome. That's that's awesome. Yeah. And we kind of enter a period of just it's pure war now. We have we just have war. I was just talking to us last night with Spade.

It was some about 1984, the book. There's a war that's just always going on and no one knows who they are, but they're just always happening. Yeah. It's currently Russian, the Ukraine. And also, there's a fucking screen that you scream at for five minutes every day. Yes Debates that's why it's pretty good Yeah, he kind of nailed it Orwell did know it

He's a good socialist boy though. Well, is he? Mm-hmm did not know that. Yeah comrade. He did hate communism though He wrote Animal Farm. Yeah, I heard about that book. Just a good socialist boy. Who was it that didn't know it was about communism? Me? Was it you? I don't know. I was just listening. I was like, Animal Farm's good. I was like, yeah, it's about something. They're like, what?

You thought it was just a story about animals? Yeah. That makes sense. If you read that, like like in high school, you don't know. I mean, I wouldn't have known about like, but in high school they would have absolutely told you this is about, yeah, this is Russian communism. Fair enough. Otherwise the book, the book's gibberish without that. Yeah, true. I honestly, I didn't know until as I like skipped that one in high school, I was like, I'm not reading this fucking bullshit, and then I never knew about that. It's like 80 pages You could really wash that and then like I just nailed it. That's kind of yes I got three under my belt. I think all time cabalion being one of them three total books

Oh, yeah Fucking I just lose it. I'll start reading it same page over and over again same line over and over again Then just start daydreaming Maybe you'll maybe you'll break through once you have me sink. I know I'm gonna try For six days by myself for what the Monroe Institute It's a guy Dream and I want to I want to beat sleep paralysis. That's my only thing, dude. I get it a lot. Well, that makes sense. And then also spade

was like, dude, you should try this. You fucking dream and stuff like that. So I'm going to go and save it actually works or not. That would be awesome, man. That'll be getting there. So I'm fucking driving motherfucker to six here. Yeah. Yeah. Hall and mass just got my hinges fixed. Where in Virginia? I don't know. I think it's near Maryland, closer to Maryland. You think they're going to fucking telepathically tell you how to get there? Well, the CIA fucking is involved in it. So I'm a little weirded out by that.

Oh, you're a CIA boy now. No, no, no. They try to sabotage us. Why would I try to sabotage you? He's a plant, dude. You think I'm fucking. You're Ray. Yeah, what's his name? What's that guy? Ray from January 6. Ray Epps. You're Ray Epps. Let's storm point dude. You think I'm fucking You're what's his name? What's that guy Ray from January 6th?

Capital let's go in the capital There's guys in solitary confinement and that dude just didn't go to jail We're back. We're back. He went on Oprah like I can't believe I'm getting death threats. I do how are you not in solitary? they also gave everyone from January six reeducation fucking courses. And it's, it tells them that Trump is a threat to democracy. You have to go through a legitimate reeducation course in order to like continue your rehabilitation. Where, where were they? Where did they store them in women's prison?

That's like some girl. What I'm kidding. That's crazy. I go to a Trump is bad class. Yeah. Do you know the proud boys like started in Port Richmond? Yeah, I did hear that. That's weird as shit.

You never know. I mean, it's not. Yeah, it's not that weird, but I do. I didn't know when I found out. I was like, damn, that was like, have you been to Port've been to Port Richmond it's yeah I met from Port Richmond it kind of checks out yeah it's a Polish capital of Philadelphia yeah it's all Polish man the prouds are looking pissed off dude Polish white trash is like another it's like kind of weird looking yeah there's those boys you spy those boys

you go oh fuck it's like dude just stand outside. They don't think all day You can tell you can you can visually see the difference. It's like when you see an African and an African-american Yes, you see a Polak and a white dude. You're like that guy's from somewhere else. Yeah I didn't know there was a nice polac. I like polac. Oh yeah, there's good fucking restaurants and shit up there. Kielbasa, pierogies, you name it. Polax rule. You can get some good kielbasa up there.

You know I like it. You like kielbasa? Yeah, real. My girlfriend's dad gets fucking cheese stuffed hot dogs, bro. Those are good as fuck. When was the last time you crushed a dad? This is podcasting 101. Playing down going, my girlfriend's dad gets cheese stuffed hot dogs.

And the spice to kill bosses with jalapenos in them. I can't believe you guys just brushed past Warhammer. Fuck Warhammer. Space Marine 2? Space Marine 2? Space Marine 2? You can say that's... I don't know.

Is that part of Warhammer? Trust me today. I mean, I think you're just pumping it up because you can say that's. I don't know. Is that part of Warhammer? Trust me, dad. I mean, I think you're just pumping it up because you can't stand against the AI. And still is dead. Warhammer is actually the best game. I'm about to download Madden because the birds are all right.

Fuck, dude, it's gonna let you down. I watched that shit last weekend. I was like, dude, everyone's like, we're gonna see your ball. Fucking hurts if he just would like care about the team. It's the same thing every year. Don't, don about the team. It's the same thing every year don't It's the same bugger. I can't I have stuff I'm a brown the switch of fucking diva if you would just do we win the super bowl

Every fucking year I question was filled hot dogs. Is there a way you can like squeeze them with a cheese? American white cheese? No. Is it white cheese? Jalapeno. Cheddar. It's out of the wiener. Canadian. Canadian yellow sperm.

When's the last time you crushed a dog, dude? Baseball game a couple of months ago. Wow. Dude, the Wawa hot dogs that are the big ass ones. Game of Conrad had nine hot dogs before the national anthem. That's what I'm talking about. That's what I need to be talking to. Cheese stuffed hot dogs are gooder than a mug. They are. They are the best. My family,

little, my family got it like once and I spent maybe stuff crust, maybe six years being like, can we get cheese? I never got it again. It's the same thing as stuff. It was one time. No one has eight stuff. Cross more than one time. You get stuff across once, then you never get it again If you're eating stuff crust every fucking week for pizza night your fucking mom's on drugs But if you get true, but as a young man you get that sweet cheese dog. Oh, yeah You know, can we get the cheese? But cheese on every time we go every time we go the giant I go

Can we get the cheese little dogs? Yeah, they're good. Yeah sure Shane what color? What was the reasoning for the not getting you the cheese dogs again? I think anything I suggested was completely out of mind Ever slip something into the cart I Was my move I usually left immediately What when I went with my mom grocery shopping or shopping I would go by myself to like the magazine section. Check out Slam Magazine. I was pumped on Slam Magazine. I remember there was an ad with Spike Lee. He was selling Nikes and on the back he was like

something about these damn shoes. I saw the word damn and I was like holy fuck that's how you spell it. This changes everything. I saw the word damn and I was like, holy fuck, that's how you spell it? Yeah. This changes everything. I did the same shit with real world and lesbian. There was on the real world, there's a girl with a shirt lesbian. That's when I was a Google image demon.

And I fucking saw that. I was like, lesbian, lesbian, ran upstairs, Google search lesbian. I was like, yo, what the fuck? These things kiss each other big boobs was a constant Google search nothing big boobs did nothing either big boobs come up anymore hell yeah bro big boobs to literally nothing couldn't even jerk off I just looked at it big boo first ever porn site was big sex calm it was

a pop out big sex calm that's a poor name. I know I fucking I should buy the domain don't Google big boobs. Let me see it. First thing that comes up is a gremlin. Oh man. Why have they taken big boobs from us? Because dude. Now comes up when you do that. Yeah. Huge tits did what comes out. What do you search? Martina's big big plans to have the world? Yeah, I see. I see that. Yeah, that's nice. Rocking.

OK, never mind. I thought for a second I thought she was a trumpet. One of Justin's. He goes many disguises. Hopefully we're just like, yeah, my fucking all my Google search was just different adjectives and boobs. Yeah, this is Bill. This is pretty.

Do you love them? This stuffed up. I'm looking at like the world's biggest No, no, no, I was in like fucking third grade. I just knew boobs existed They would try to get me to look at fucking I'll tell you what big boobs holds up if you Google. Oh, yeah Yeah, just roll down. Mm-hmm. Here's that guy that trashed up you were talking about earlier It was like a stocky fucking Mexican from my condors with just seas It was wild. I looked at the why did you do that?

Yeah, freaking me out. I mean dude, I imagine he's it was like a man. Do you just touch your dog's piss? They pay yeah, definitely fucker Was it on the fucking on this yeah fuck Yeah. Fuck yes. It's washable. Plan works. Well, I'm gonna have to go wash my hands. True. Take a break. McCusker Brothers, chat it up.

All right, I gotta get the fucking cleaner. God damn it. Dang it. Hello everybody, sorry for the interruption. This is Sean Gardini. I'm in Tempe, Arizona right now and I just wanted to remind you, well first I wanted to thank you

if you came to Tempe, Arizona. And secondly, just wanted to remind you well first I wanted to thank you if you came to Tempe Arizona and secondly I wanted to remind you that I'll be in Salt Lake City Utah this weekend at Wise Guys Comedy Club I'll be in Salt Lake City Utah September 13th and 14th please come I'm going there tomorrow I'll be with our dear friend Aidan McCluskey, Salt Lake City, Utah, Wise Guys Comedy Club. Link for tickets is below. Thank you. God bless you. Please come.

I'm gonna come. Also our dear friend Matt McCusker will be in Providence, Rhode Island tonight throughout the weekend at the Comedy Connection. Matt McCusker will be at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island September 12th through September 14th. Link for tickets is below. Please go see him. He'll also be in Cleveland October 10th through the 12th. The Wilbur in Boston on October 18th. The Milwaukee Improv on October 24th through the 26th, and Capital One Hall, Tyson's Virginia on November 15th,

and Town Hall in New York on November 16th. And I'll be there with him. So go to mattmcusker.com for tickets, but go see him in Providence, Rhode Island, tonight through Saturday. Matt McCusker, our dear friend. mattmcusker.com, mattmcusker.com, MattMcCusker.com. Also go see Shane Gillis everywhere

at ShaneMGillis.com in Canada soon. And the Wells Fargo Center. Go see our dear friend, Shane M. Gillis. ShaneMGillis.com, link for tickets is in the description and in the comments. Thank you very much. God bless you now Let's get back to the show Everyone tell your deepest secrets. Oh

That was a fucking sweet shit we did in grade school Sleepovers. Yeah, who do you like was nice? Yo frill. Who do you like was nice? I Told someone I would touch an electric fence if they told me they told me I was like damn I don't think you're going to tell me whatever happened. That dude said he's going to eat shit. If S F FSU does FSU, you know what I mean? Fucking loses. I don't fire. You're thinking Warhammer right now. I'm telling you, you guys are going to, you're going to Matt, you would love it.

I gave my fucking, I know I would love it. Who'd you give it to? Mexican. Something you might have sold. I think he might have sold it for a pair of knockers. I was doing my kitchen and fucking took everything out my first floor. I was like, dude, just give this to your Nino brother. Came a brand new Xbox. Can't have. I mean, if I, if I had that, I am fucking fucked. New call of duty coming to a duty. Yeah. I, I don't do it. Cause I'm just chasing a dragon. There's nothing better on this planet than call of duty during COVID. It was the greatest shit ever. Nothing will ever come close to it.

It was the most fun fucking remember when we would go in there. Yes. I can get in people's heads so good and call a duty and fuck with them It's fucking amazing. Even if I'm losing I can still make people lose fucking frame Really it's it's a very good fucking I'm good with shit talking. I'm not that good at duty So I'll be like a fucking pretty good 10 to 50 KD and like dude you fucking suck and then the people just spaz They're probably autistic. So yeah, maybe I'm not that great at getting into people. I got good. I was getting good. You can get, dude, when you play it for a long time, you go to sleep like going around corners

in your fucking head. I couldn't imagine having PTSD like a soldier. Like, I play Call of Duty. I'm like, whoa, fuck, I wake up real quick. They could up shooting something. Yeah. To do that shit in real life has to body your mental. You play Duty long enough, then you walk outside

and you check rooftops. Yeah. There's a guy up there. I'm like, I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to go to bed. I'm going to Yeah, do that shit in real life has to body your play duty long enough Then you walk outside and you check rooftops. Yeah I cannot be absolutely terrible going live would be insane. I Mean what else is going on no name loss Trump loss Rules

I was trying to pull up a sick-ass fucking clip I thought you guys would enjoy this, but I might like spaz. Am I thinking about hold on? Let me say I wanted to. The new Apple shit's fucking weird. It's pretty smart. It gave you your sick. Heal you. Why don't you?

Maybe that's a bigger gift. I don't know about your body is a miraculous thing. Yes. So I would think it's by design. Take out the toxins that I brought in. Why would now that go back in? And if the case were true, why wouldn't it be longer so we can just drink it out of the hose? That's a great question. Because maybe you shouldn't be drinking your... It's meant to go away. Yes, I entertain that philosophy and that reason, right? That's good reason.

However, that reason has been trumped by me enjoying drinking my beer. You just enjoy it. Like I enjoy a beer sometimes on a hot day. I like the energetics of it. So you feel different. Correct. Don't you think?

You're in therapy, no joke. The music is so big. I couldn't hear the music. Yeah, it was too low. We got all we got was the my bad. I liked the I liked the but that's been trumped by the fact that I like drinking my own piss. Well, that's good. Good.

Good. Yes. Flat Earth Dave fucking talks about this a lot. You're in therapy and how he like rubs it on his face and there's plasmid it So like if you piss you have to let the beginning stream out That's all the toxins and then you get the fucking midstream and at the very end you let it go back in the toilet And then you can use that for skin care Drinking it if you want if you want to make a nice do you drink your own piss and rub it all over you

Yes, that's what he does I've now I haven't got into urine therapy means spades is the whole thing on the guy who was doing Dry fast and drinking his own piss So that guy's a dry face gonna die very very soon if he's a beast He does fucking extended DMT sessions with like John Hopkins. So just the empty for like 30 minutes It's fucking crazy. They intervene is DMT shit.. Just the bazaar, dude. Wait, the dry. Yeah. He's first off, you want to, you want to see a guy on a dry fast ribbon DMT go to the Beezer's house. He's been staying with me a lot. I've seen

him drink, uh, like three sodas, no water. He's a no water man. Yeah. He must have solid piss. That shit has to come out like fucking slime. Yeah. Or that orange stuff, that neon orange piece. You ever see someone who like is really, really not really taking like care of themselves at all. It's always like bright orange. You're like, dude, yeah, I've worked with guys and they clean the bottle. Yeah. Oh God. The fuck is that? They're like, what? Like, your piss is orange, dude.

They're like, yeah, what? He's chugging water. Chug of water right now. Yeah, chug five. I like how those guys got to that point where they're having like a serious sit down. They're like, if you drink your pee, why don't you eat your poop?

And he's like, come on, man. Don't be fucking ridiculous. You're just fucking. Fucking. I like that they've intellectualized themselves all the way back to fucking second grade. Yeah. If you drink pee, why don't you

eat poop? Whoa. He's like, well, they're playing who wants to be a millionaire music behind it. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. God would have made our dicks

longer so we could drink right out of them like a hose. He's like, yeah, Instagram will make you want to put down a podcasting microphone for the rest of your life. They see the people that rip shorts on there. You're just like, dude, what am I doing? Yeah. Is this what I am?

I got some good, I got the, you see the ASU kids? Yes. Ruled. Dude, who's the best frat on ASU campus? The ASU probably sick guy, but I don't know. They're going to get a hold of this. Shout out to those boys. Yeah.

Keep it up, dude. Never. They're youngsters, too. The youngsters, every comment is sending hate from Indiana. Keep it up. Fucking that is, they have some perseverance, because they just fucking blow through that. I see a bad comment.

I do, what the fuck? I was watching it. The one guy, the best guest on there is the DJ kid with the spiked hair. Yes. Who's like, he looks like he's in Verve. He's like, I've been seeing it. By the way, I love that he immediately,

the one clip I saw, he was like, you get so many negative comments. How do you keep going? It's like, bro, you get negative comments too. Don't put it all on the jersey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't put it on the bro. Then he was like, no, I honestly don't care. I was watching. I was like, yeah, right. Yeah, there's no way.

Twenty one years old. If everyone was like, dude, you're a fucking loser. Fucking stop doing this. I'd be like, what the fuck? Now, as you bought rules, there's another one where it's like high school kids. Gardini always sends me. I forget what it's called, though. I got to check.

I was. I know you're talking about movie. I got check. I was movie Probably better than us. What's the last time you've been to church? Yeah, they're little puddings. Do they got to grow. I enjoy it Dude, I'm trying to get off the fucking net though for real You're you're pretty online. You're the most online. I know I'm fucking literally saying hey guys, I need help. I can help I'm going to the fucking Monroe Center for six days. I'm just gonna put my phone with fucking drawer

CIA guys will be watching you jack off the nice Literally would never I asked for help and this is what I can ask. The lights are going to come on loudly. It's going to and you're going to be in a room, the bright lights, glass window where people are studying you.

We're going to have to ask you to leave. You've been in here for five minutes. You must be twice. Please get off the road. Send in the probe. No, right. I probe you. I got kicked off my own Reddit. Why? We got de-modded me and Spade.

I have no idea. I don't go on the thing anymore. There was a queue. Some dude fucking took it over. Have it. He can have that shit. So I don't know. She Billy like literally has fucking schizophrenia. This is what I've seen from listening to him on a podcast. I've figured out all of his mental disabilities. Somebody's got a Facebook for me. Are you serious?

Yeah. And then it sucks. They literally, yeah, there's like a page for me on Facebook. That's got a lot of followers and every day they got post pictures of grilled cheese says I'm making them at night. Yeah. And people are like, shut the fuck up. We get it, dude.

You had one good joke. Shut the fuck up. My mom texted me about it yesterday. Is it a fan page or is it like the guy pretending to be easy catfishing? He's catfishing. As you. I believe. Yeah, that's fun. Oh, that's on Facebook too, which is, yeah, I haven't been back to Facebook for a while. Fucking shit. Facebook is insane. You watch a Curious Case in Italian grace.

Oh, my god. Let's go. Let's go. This is why I get paid the big bucks. I did watch it, bro. Wait, did you just acknowledge Facebook was crazy before you went to the next topic? Yes, yes. I thought it coincided with it.

But yes, that's what I'm saying. It reminded me of them on Facebook. Bro, it's the best. They were not lying. They told me about the whole thing and I still was confused watching it as a who's the bad guy. It makes it pretty clear that fucking maniac dude is the biggest piece. But in the beginning, when that fucking chicks like all the neighbors like, yeah,

she pulled the little kid's pants down and tried to touch his deck. I was like, hold on. So just to the thing is about a lady, a Ukrainian woman or I think I'm just gonna have to spoil this. Spoil the whole fucking thing. We have to spoil her. So go watch. We got a podcast to do. We got a podcast. We got to discuss this. Matt. Yeah, it's crazy. This is the best documentary I've've seen there's a midge though, right? It was a little person She had severe like her legs were fucked up her arms like everything bowlegged as a mug. Yeah, she had like deformed legs Dorf from Ukraine fingers fucked up the whole nine from Ukraine This couple drives down to Florida to pick her up at like a strip mall

They get in they get this kid. But who was the plug? Who was the broker? It was a random fucking strip mall in Florida that like was just hawking a chick. It's crazy. They were like, the dude is the biggest bullshitter in the world.

And he's the type of liar that like, you've seen these types of liars before. I hate these dudes that lie this way. Like he was like, and then the officer came in after me and my wife had a domestic dispute. He said, I know you're entirely right. Boom, here's my card. Call me whenever you want. Those are his exact words.

He walked in within five minutes, he knew exactly who was right in the situation. They grabbed their- His words exactly. He said, sir, I know you're exactly right. Here's my card. They fucking- No, that was true.

They adopt this chick and the guy's like, it was the best day of my life. And then we brought her home and my wife was ghost white. And she just said, look down. And there was pubic hair. She's six years old. This girl's not six years old. She's 20. So then they got a fucking chick in their fucking house who they're claiming is a grown woman

Pretending to be a six-year-old wait So the wife went down to like change her and just saw a big old Ukrainian supposedly allegedly So dude, this is what I'm saying. Definitely did not After watching the whole thing that that was a crazy lie. It was an insane lie. Why, was it like just like a landing strip? Or like, what the fuck? I don't know.

But the fucking, the dude is out of his fucking mind. And the whole time, he's just trying to throw wifey under the bus. Because they're, like, I don't know what the fuck's going on there. Well. What? I mean, we're jumping around. But so then I so then after the discovery of the pubic hair, they're like,

maybe it's just a freak thing and we're going to try to welcome her into our home and do us. But then allegedly, the daughter keeps taking out knives and trying to kill all the other family members. And is like, she literally walks into their bedroom at night and stands there with a knife. And he's like, I was terrified. I said, what are you doing? And she just stared at me. And I said, you need to go back to bed.

It's the plot of The Orphan. Yeah. He just, it's crazy. Instead, by the way, if you saw this kid who ended up actually being that age, it was literally a fucking seven year old girl, allegedly holding a knife in his bedroom, a disabled seven year old. 45 pounds.

If that. Yeah. The wife got overtaken by her. Reggie broke into your room. Yeah. The wife got overtaken by her at a farm and they said she tried to drag the wife to an electric fence to kill her. It's like, dude, she's literally a bag of fucking sheetrock or a bag of fucking joint compound. And that thing drags you over like you're lying.

But they fucking they shipped her off into a well before they ship her off, they keep saying, tell us that you're a fucking adult. And she just like has no idea what's going on because she's fucking six. And they make her stand with her head on the wall and she cannot move. So I didn't believe that story either. There's pictures and videos.

There's a video of it for the two minute one. And it was coming from the guy. The guy's lying about everything. The guy was like, this is what I'm saying. The guy was like, I came home from work. I said, how long has Natalia been sitting there? My wife looked at me and she said seven hours. She soiled herself. She defecated and my wife wouldn't let her. She stood against that wall for 12 straight hours. It's like, no, she

didn't do. Yeah. That was a little bit of a lie. He was lying. They also have an autistic son in it and they're like, should we talk about the staircase? And he's like, yeah, I mean, I didn't say that, but you know, I'm just guns blazing right now. So they're hot mic'd upstairs talking about how they booted this midget down the stairs. They hot mic'd themselves. They go upstairs and admit that they

kicked a child with a disability down the steps. Yeah. They're the biggest sacks of shit. They, but they, they. Bro, hold on.. So then in order to, so she, they child protective services is obviously on their ass because other neighbors can see them locking her outside, putting her on the deck. They're locking out the dude. And the whole time you're watching the documentary, you're like, maybe she is 20 and trying to kill the family and they're the victims. And then they legally get, they go to a court,

they go to the court and legally change her age to 22. All right. When she's what? Nine, 10, eight or nine. So then now that she's 22, they don't, they can set her out into the world. So they get her an apartment in like one of those apartments where you just see like who the fuck lives here. They leave a disabled nine year old girl in an apartment to herself. And then the how about the video of him coming over and harassing her? Like where'd you get the doughnuts? There's videos from the neighbor that's like eight year old midget going up to like this dude's son and fucking playing with him. And he's Dude, like she smelled like not like bad like her vagina

Like you could smell her father's just a child who could number one couldn't bathe. Yeah, I'll change her own clothes They literally left the kid there The guy acts out the wife fucking beating the kid. And there's multiple cameras in the room. He's going to point the camera to the ground. Point the camera. He gets out of the couch and starts wailing on the floor. And then hurts his wrist.

And cries and he's like, ow. He's nuts. He's nuts, dude. So they adopted. They adopted. You got to see it. There's a part where he, threw the deposition with the court. He gets all of his wife's like Facebook messages and one of them is to another random midget. She fucks. She's sexting him. She's sexting a baller of a midget.

That guy is like, they interviewed the midget that cheated on her. He's a beast. And he's's just like yeah, I fucked it I've never seen a more chaotic house in my life. There's just everything everywhere There's nothing is in its place and there's just random shit everywhere and he's just on a fucking electric scooter It's wild. He's talking about how he's a child monster to love these best bed sheets fling off dude. He goes so hard on the box The mage Monster that dude got the deposition and all that shit and got all of her Facebook messages and this chick's just banging everyone He said he was reading shit just falling on the floor cuz like the handyman would come over and she would bang him

He cries the entire second half Every interview he's in. He's sobbing. Yeah. And he said, dude, there's, there's, they fucking play there. They read the text messages on the screen and he's like, you know, she would play with my head. So like, she would be like, dude, you gotta fucking drop these charges against me or else I'm not giving you this and send like a picture of her in lingerie. And then he would simp and be like, all right, I'll drop the charges. It would be like, I need custody of the kids or you will never see this pussy again. It's the greatest quote on the deal. Greatest quote in the world.

He's like, not all forms of abuse are physical. Some are from withholding and I got in trouble because I got a wee data addicted to porn. The dude is the most hateable guy in the world. I've never seen anyone more hateable guy in the world. I've never seen anyone more hateable. Just grips up to black lawyers too. On some like black people are cool. Shit, bro. The lawyers are horrible. Lawyers are horrible. He got two black lawyers. Like when you're like 10 or 11 years old, you're just like, Oh, that's a black person. They're cool. So he just got two fucking black people and he goes there for two years

and just chills with the guys like sits there and like jokes around with them. And how much do you think those dudes hated him? Oh, they, they were looking at him and dude, you are the worst. They're bringing this guy. He's like, these are my best friends in the world. And he's just like, I kill myself anymore. He comes in like happy. He's on trial for abusing a child. And he comes into the thing like we're fighting for my life fellas. And I got the best guys in the world fighting for me. Look at you. You guys are so awesome. It makes you hate lawyers because the fucking, the wife has another lawyer. And in the case they legally change her age of 22. So you can't talk about how it's a kid.

And this like the child doctor was like on a Zoom with the other dudes or with the chicks fucking lawyer. And it's like, well, it was a kid. It had like, its growth plates weren't connected or anything. He goes, we will not talk about how this is a child. She is 22 year old adult. And the guy's like, I mean, are you serious?

And the fucking lawyer just leaves. He's like, well, I guess we don't care about facts. Yeah. He's like, excuse me? No, hold on. I'm not, you're talking to me. You tell guess we don't care about facts. Yeah. He's like, excuse me. No, no, I'm not. You're talking to me. You tell me I don't care about facts. Where are they from? Indiana. Yeah. Somehow to a couple of Indiana both grips up black lawyers. It's like there's lawyers, dude, and they're Jewish. That's who you need. They're the best that they're LeBron James.

Either way, they did get LeBron James lawyers. True. They got the lawyer, put the gloves on and beat the case. They beat the case and they're fine. They're fine. They're totally innocent. Who has the kid? She's fucking 19 now. She's like 21. According to the court, she's like 58. Now for you, you can legally change someone's age. Yes. Yeah, it happens supposedly a bunch with like Dominicans and shit that come up. So they'll be like, oh, he's fucking 12. fucking 12 and then reality is like 18 playing Little League just

Slamming homers. Yeah, I might change my age to 16 and trap my wife you got the dude Yes, actually the money you sicko that might it might be the most hateable dude in the world and that his wife is my Anti-bone it's like the most the chick that is just fucking brutal to be around. Yeah, it's awful A clear-cut case of like they stink they it's a roller coaster, bro When you're watching shit, you have no idea what the fuck to think the more the guy talks though You realize yeah, you've you've seen this guy. Yeah, you've seen this movie a million. You've met this type of liar. So the weirdest lies with confidence.

Does he have like the intense eye contact? A lot of intense liars will like lock in on your eyes and make, dude, I'm telling you, I'm just full eye contact, making up quotes and be like, hold on. This is exactly what they said. I remember exactly what they said. He got cocked into oblivion. So I mean, he did get broke. The fact that he's still on this earth plane blows my mind.

I would have killed myself like seven times if I was this dude. Hooked by a midge is almost though kind of like, I mean, yeah, it's like you're cheating on you and leaving you for a woman. Yeah, could be worse. Yeah, it'd be like, I don't know. We say that, but cocked by a midge is wild.

At least I would know I dodge a bullet because that's a crazy person. Yeah, but then he's- Unless it's like a real cool midge. That midge man, oh shit. Then it's like you were with him. He was, his house was insane though. His house was fucked up, but he was like a country singer?

Yeah, he was a star. He's kind of a fucking beast, honestly. He was swagged out. Oh, and he said his fucking, his pepper is nothing to fucking sneeze at either. I bet. Maybe a midge, but not down there. Yeah, I've seen, I've literally, I mean, I've, I've seen their work online. Midge porn style.

I don't think I've ever seen one. There's a few fucking like only fans girls that go on all those like LA podcasts, one's a midget and I'm like, damn, I've never watched one. Never seen midget porn. Never. Really? I swear. I fucking, it was the first time I've glimpsed it. I. Really? I swear. I fucking.

I've glimpsed it. I was like, I was like all the time. The what? I used to be on e fuck.com all the time. Yeah. It was one of those things. Trash. I was like, maybe this is something I'm into. I watch it. I was like, you know, and again, there's no disparaging to the community, but I was like, this is definitely genuinely not for me. Yeah. And there's a dude that like, if you go down that role, there's also like, like related search, like extra, extra, extra, extra small girl wearing just like, all right, that's you're just trying to get like child porn to boxing. Probably. Yeah. Oh, all right. See image. No, a lot of it is dude midges bagging girls. These are all just short. Oh, here we go. Found it. Freaky midget door.

Fuck sexy German teen type teeny on public. Yeah, dude. They get like sixth graders to fuck. All right. Yeah. It's fucked up. That was a mistake. It's real. I did. You tossing a toilet in there for no reason. Also, that's skibbity.

It's also a jail jail jail. For some I love a God doll. What the fucking brain rod shit on Instagram is just getting to me. I can't hear it anymore, bro. Those fuckers were down bad. They got double trunk chocolate cookie fucking pisses me off so bad. That's child abuse, dude. What is it? They fucking have videos of this dude. Like, like other people are filming them doing their Instagram content and he's making the kid re say something like smile in the camera. The dad's a lunatic, the Rizzo, not the Rizzo. It's the Rizzo. The Rizzo is back in school. He's back to his normal life. The Rizzo is the only one I fucking have a past. That kid

is just a kid who got famous on fucking Instagram this summer and now in his back in fourth grade. So he just chill with celebrities all fucking summer and now he's in fourth grade somewhere. It's fucking insane. Who the Rizzo? The Rizzo. Just going back to grade school. So he would know. I don't know this guy. So he became like internet famous and now he's just a little, he's a little chubby boy

Grubbing is he the one who's grubbing Costco is he no fucking I don't know the name. It's like a job big justice yeah In Costco filming themselves eating chicken bakes and fucking double-chop they go to Costco Costco and eat the same thing over and over again. Rate it. Yeah, it's fucking insane. It's hilarious. It never stops. It is funny. That's why it's a smash hit, bro. They go to Costco with like ring lights and fucking film themselves eating. It's fucking like you'd see people in the background. It's like, dude, what the fuck's going on? Shit's confusing as fuck. It's like, Sorry, go ahead. I'll shut up and listen. No, it's all right. I'm gonna go following the hawk at two of stuff

I've seen all these million there. She's doing really making the push She seems actually very nice. I'm sure she is nice. Although it's a You know, it is one of those things. It's like to act It does it sets a weird precedent where it's like bro Just if the camera hits you say something kind of slutty and you can become the next millionaire Yeah, there's a bunch of chicks that just went way overboard like I let dudes spit in my ass. All right Continue on that got 5,000 likes congratulations. Good luck I have no feelings against her. It is it's just the it's a very bizarre thing to like gather around. I guess. Perfect. This is awesome.

Dude spazzing out. I can't believe this. I can. Big Justice and his dad are eating fucking chicken bakes and getting paid millions of dollars right now. I can believe this. Makes complete sense. Big Justice is good at fucking baseball though. Do you think he's better than baby girl? I don't I don't need to know this I want this taken as all baby grog's highlights That was good. He's nice. He fucking regulates, bro. That was does some good fucking Bro, he's now who's the kid that was the og pop Warner star. Yes. What is his name? I don't know He looked like Christian McCaffrey. Yes He was so fucking good. Fuck. I gotta look that up. That's going to piss me off. What was his? It was like Colt or not. Colt. It was the McGuffey mixtape and then him. Who the fuck was that? This is good

podcasting. I mean, it was the greatest. It was a great mixtapes. That's all I did in fucking seventh and eighth grade was just YouTube. Noel divine highlight. Noel divine hoops. Uh, fucking slam. There was a two fire team younger. No, it was just when they were in high school, like no all divine in high school. Like this is the greatest human at anything. Noel divine and Sam McGuffey.

The McGuffey mixtape was, That's one of my, one of the things I put on our Reddit before was this kid's highlight tape, pop Warner highlight team Cody Paul Cody Paul Cody Paul literally that's the best pop Warner highlight tape of all time Yes, here's the good internet. Here's good internet. Yes, we begin some shout outs on Street Beef's did what dude? Yeah, how nice is that? It's awesome. You guys shout out and shoot Street B. Yeah, we've got multiple damn. That's sick Maybe we did too is that it's awesome. You guys shout out on street. Be we've got multiple. Damn, that's sick.

Maybe we did too. Man, I think you actually might have. I think someone hit me up about that. I think you did. I think I got a shout out on street beef as well. Yeah, that was pretty, I was pretty stoked on that. It's having dude finish punching some guy and be like, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. I really want to Australia.

I shouldn't know a fucking thing about baby Gronk. I should read a book or something. This is getting bad. This is what it is, bro. This is where we're at. Yeah. But I just sat down Warhammer, I'm Warhammer and then pick up the phone with baby Gronk. It's like, which one can we make all the sodas go in order the way they're at? They're at underneath of it. It's fucking absurd. I don't I don't want to live anymore.

This is taking my I've been trying to prove what went to the gym. No, I told you. Sonic and cold plunge at the gym, which is nice. But then you got to hide your tiny penis in the locker room. Put a towel over. Yeah, I did. But I'm still, you know, which is nice. And then I, but then you got to hide your tiny penis in the locker room. Put a towel over. Yeah, I did, but I'm still, you know, wow. Oh, I know this place. I know what you're talking about now.

Yeah. Remember that? Shades with the blue blood. This is Philadelphia. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I'm just trying to go somewhere that, you know, everyone posts pictures. You are like fucking Trump, dude. You like Eastern block, tall women, model types. like you all you remind me a fucking Trump that way

Thank you, that's sick. Thank you going in you're going in the lift for the wasps. Thank you, bro Same thing you and Trump same did but I do Jones also Jones the same way He likes big Eastern block women models. Thank you Thank you But I thought we could talk about hiding a penis in the gym locker room. I'd never do it. I don't even let it get to that point. I would have, but there's a sauna and a cold point. Oh, it's in the locker room?

In the gym. So then it's like, there is a sauna in the locker room. Just wear six fucking underarmor fucking compression shorts. I mean, it's just kendo all out. Stuff. Or dry your boxers in the sauna and just roll out. Take the boxers off while I'm in the sauna? No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying that going there. Because if they're all me, they're gonna be soaked, bro.

I'm in the sauna, I'm sweaty. Oh yeah, fuck, I was thinking they would dry from the cold breeze, right? No. Were you pumping iron? Yeah. What'd you hit? Don't worry about what I'm doing.

No, I'm just curious, like, buys, tries, back, checks. You name it, brother. You did full body. Yeah, I like that. I want to work Crushed what do you mean? I haven't worked out since I've been in Philly my shit is fucking destroyed. Yeah, I think are you sore Yes, that sucks. I lifted the last two days. I'm fucking dead. Yeah jerk spot right next to you go to Yeah dead. Yeah. Jerk spot right next to you. Go to. Yeah. He's got a lymph node massage place. Next. Yeah, I got a lymph node. They release my nodes. You guys are not thinking about the lymph system. You guys are so little place. You guys are full of fluids.

I pray you guys release them. They're going to release. They release your fluids right next to me, right next to his house. They're open all 24 hours, so you can get your limbs has it ever called you 3 a.m.. Somebody falls asleep upstairs you go Yeah sleep walk Head downstairs and get released that's time you get an ambient prescription. No, I've never I've never had my lymph nodes once my entire life. Damn. I pray you guys aren't full fluid, man. It's, man, it can cause so many problems.

For sure. But I'm saying I've never had a massage that ended with a lymph node release. Yeah. Professional massage. I've never had a massage where at the end they go, do you want us to release your fluids? You're a hooker. Yeah. That's, they're, they're definitely not as if you've made it this far,

it's best to steer away from them. Yeah, I could see falling into that as a young man. You don't know about lights, bro. Fact that they're probably like sex slaves. And you find that out and you're like, oh, that's fucking shitty. But I mean, I'm cool. You ever been, you ever have your nose?

Not a full-blown wash. I've had old Asian women take a pass at my penis. Really? Yeah. In a wishy washy. Huh? Then you were in a fucking normal place. There's like women in there. Did it say open on the window and a neon sign? No. This was like fucking chicks in there. All sorts of shit. Really? Yes.

And a lady went for your penis. Lady went for my penis. She goes, oh, so strong. Really? Yes. And a lady went for your penis. Lady went for my penis, she goes, oh, so strong. What? Yeah, that's crazy. She grabbed your car. See how you're good. Yes.

No, just grazed it. Hit me with the graze like three times. I was like, you're good, I don't need to do that. You turned it down? Yeah, I had a fucking girlfriend. Every time I get a massage, I think it's gonna happen the entire time. Yeah, it's the only thing I fucking think about.

My penis gets smaller. Oh, yeah, you get doctors office. I get absolute doctors office. If I go, they're gonna try to jerk me off at the end of this, holy shit. Yeah, you shrivel. God fucking takes control. I get the smallest doctor penis possible.

So I can, even if I, even if, I'm not saying I'm morally superior for not getting jacked off. I literally- You couldn't even if you wanted to. If I wanted to, I'd still be too teenist up. Yeah. That's crazy. During a massage, I become ridiculously engorged.

Yeah. You have a history though. Yeah, but you have a history. You're like a fucking vet going in the war. You're in a wishy washy. You're in a hand in stone massage place. No, it wasn't a hand in stone. Where was it?

It was an eight. I'm not going to fucking disclose the information of the fucking place. But you're like, this is a normal spot. Dude, if you tell me there's an old Asian lady going, oh, so strong. It's like, bro, you were in the wishy washy. I do.

I can't, I can't. I don't want to put my source on spot, but someone told me it's fucking no bullshit, got a good spot. And then that happened to me. And you call Kamala. Oh, I know who this person was. I know exactly who this person was.

She's a liar. You call her a liar and you hear her lying. I'm not lying. You're a hypocrite, bro. This is you on the table. I'm fucking, dude, I'm being honest. This is you on the table. There's a,

No, no, no, no. I just jacked the dog off. Don't do that. Don't do that. I know who the mutual, I know who the mutual link is. And that's just, that doesn't strengthen your case, bro. No, it doesn't at all. But I was fucking like 24. Do I know the mutual link is and that's just that doesn't strengthen your case, bro No, it doesn't at all. But I was fucking like 24. Do I know the mutual? Yes

No, it wasn't my co-host I didn't guess that It was so probably has some in the Rolodex. Oh probably It doesn't I Mean, it's the oldest profession, dude. I mean, dude, if you got into whoring, you'd be like, little finger game of thrones because you get the best ones now. Imagine instead of going out on a date, chick just comes to your house, hottest one ever.

You bang them and then they leave. But I want love. I just think it's fun. I know. I understand. But I just want love. I hear you. I hear you.

You can pay for that. I don't want to create my one love you I think those guys an experience. I don't want to come I want love I think those guys eventually comb the streets I think they go to the top of the top and then they're like dude. I started watching porn Google and I like big tits And then you know what I saw a dude fuck a snake That's what happens those guys get the cream of the crowd that I got I kind of like the dude fucking the snake hit me My late 20s. Yeah, dude. I got that when you got that when you were 12 The guy fucking the snake is the most graphic it's the worst video that's outside of people being murdered Yeah, I'll watch that now I can watch a train fucking killing before I watch a train hitting someone. That's not what murder we talking The one that took me off, you know what what I can't do audio on the murder yeah no good listening people scream

unless it's like the kids I took me off murders was uh these two brothers in I think it was in Ukraine somewhere in Eastern Europe they would walk around they filmed themselves killing people oh with the fucking hammers and shit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that video. That's an old one in 2009 Yeah, 2010 that set me back. I've never that was tough. I tried to stay away. That was real fucking gross I was at a party and I had to pretend that I wasn't really shooken up by it. I saw Bud Dwyer Man, that's crazy Bud Dwyer sophomore year. I was like drunk and high I was watching I watch all the blood rush out of his mouth and I was like

Birdman that's on there right now. It's actually pretty good. So I like this mix tape. Yeah, you gotta play it off. Yeah Oh, it's funny. Well, you guys while I was out being a giant pervert. I missed all the murder stuff I was just a sensuous guy going around trying to be touched I haven't ever seen is seen any of these murder videos. Everyone talks about murder videos. Like I haven't seen. First time I ever met you, what'd you do? I showed you the guy jumping off the roof.

That was a suicide. All right. Come on, man. Technically, I'm telling you, I'm talking about war footage. I have never like I'm telling you, just never hit my thing. I BME Pain Olympics was I tried and I was like no not watch that thankfully I never got that 12 years old I heard about it I never saw it bro that's rough I saw the glass bottle in the guy's asshole once I says yeah it's a tough one that's really

tough mr. hand it was kind of funny two kids in a sandbox you find out what happened yeah I don't think I saw it two kids in a sandbox is a dude screaming while girls shoving a dildo into his dick. Holy fuck BME pain Olympics they like flay themselves Supposedly that's like sub incisions. They like cut their D's in half body modifications Bro, it's the I I tapped I made seven seconds and BMA and I was like, this is not for me I'm not I'm not doing this. I used to sit there smiling showing all them this like to check this out. It's fucking crazy No idea what real pain was. It was terrible. We fed him money fed the young man porn

I was like we just incubated a gremlin dude What you feed your little brother porn? We just absolutely incubated a gremlin We're like, what the fuck did you get that? Now he's stuck on baby grunk. Yeah the ultimate level I've lost as a human. I might as well try again Scott King it'll be nice in my own again Crazy

Only guns nuts every time I go upstairs and see my gun on my dresser. I just go Good not gonna. I was got a gun. Why the fuck's it's crazy Come on Kamala and that dude Whatever yeah, what's your balls walls? What's your pervert husband's name? Kamala Harris. Yeah, I forget dog or something. Yeah Yeah, fucking fake and Tourette's they're strapped as hell bro. She's all she's been about that forever Tim walls is a freak bro. I do have one

One political prediction. I think she'll turn down any moderate any Like I think so turn down a Fox to bit if the moderators are not on her side really going out on a limb I don't think she'll do it. Well, I think it's scheduled. I think it's scheduled for Fox. I thought I thought Fox was scheduled. She'll not show fucking girl boss out and just say, I ain't doing that shit. So you're fucking accent in Pittsburgh. Yes. You better thank a union worker that was in Detroit. And then she went to Pittsburgh and was like, you better thank a union worker. Yeah. She fucking just goes three hours earlier. She was in Detroit. Yeah. But I think a union work. It makes complete sense what she is. She just sounds like an Indian who's

trying to do a black voice and it's exactly right. When she hits that like preacher shit, it's like, dude, what the fuck is good with you lady? Yeah, it's awkward. It is. When she gets into like, I watched her kind of switch a little, uh, last night and it was like, When she gets into like I watched her kind of switch a little last night, it was like girl boss Brat's a girl boss, dude. What are you on the phone? I was looking to see if they had the Fox one schedule do that I Decided to get off my phone. I decided to unplug. Thank you. My phone's face down if you can't notice That's why I got the dogs and I got fucking guitar and I'm trying as much as I can to just learn shit

That'll help me war hammer or hammer will not off your phone No, yeah Gonna be locked in your tightest you need to fight the fucking tyrannids. Is this storm out? Yes Yeah, is there all mine? Yeah Haven't gotten in there yet first person shooter shooter, what are we talking about? It's like a metal or a Gears of War. So you're third person. Really? It's exciting times for me.

I love that shit. Things are looking up. I'm still waiting for the video games to get good graphics. What are you talking about? They're still not there. That fucking, you know what I'm talking about. Madden 99 or 98 had an image that was so sick of almost like a video game, like the green

Bay pack or diving into an end zone, catching a ball. And I was like, that's what video games are going to look like at some point. And they're close, but they haven't got there yet. No score. Also remake blitz league best video game of all time. Let's the league is the best video game of all time. Yes or no. Blitz is the shit. I'm going to know what's the least. Let in here. It's good. It's just funny. Let's league. I love let's leave. It's so good. You can give your fucking guys steroids. You played against the Aztecs. The one guy who's just Tony Gonzalez, but not against Ron Ron Mexico. Yeah, you can play as Michael Vick Ron Mexico. Yes, dude. Let's league is the greatest game ever.

I don't know why they fucking took it down. Probably the NFL. Yeah, but dude, they weren't the NFL. It was just a football game. I think Blitz League came out when Playmakers. Playmakers was sick. Was on ESPN. That was wild.

You remember Playmakers, Matt? No. I got an Under Armour skullcap. So did I. After watching Playmakers. And it kept going into my forehead. So I just took it off. Iour Skullcap. So did I. After watching Playmakers. Brother? And it kept going into my foreheads. I was taking off. I wore a skullcap.

I wore it for one game and it just kept going into my fucking brow line. So I was like, I gotta stop this. Like the Ray Lewis? Yes. I wore a black skullcap. Playmakers was wild. Cause I was just on the hunt for TVMA.

If I saw a fucking show come out and said TVMA In my head it was like tits so I would just sit there and try to watch playmakers with likes Nickelodeon on return on the remote and someone came in between hit return real quick. That was a good-ass show I see why you like this canine. It's a good dog. Is it fine? Fucking Stevie's whore ass over there pissing on the couch, you stay in the cage, bitch. She's Natalia Grace. Stevie's my Natalia Grace. You're the dad.

I'm Mike Barnett. You're Mike Barnett. Stevie is Natalia Grace. I love how he's on there. Mike Barnett, when the guy, he finally gets exonerated in court, and he calls his son, he's like, this whole thing's behind us.

Literally while a documentary crew is in front of him. And a civil case is still in the works. This thing's about to get way worse for you. Yeah, he has a son that was like a fucking genius. And now he's just sleeping down his basement in like a chipped paint fucking center block room. That part's real sad. Yeah, that is very fucking sad.

He's a good boy. Feel bad for the Barnats, honestly. Yeah, not evil though. I will only call her evil. I for the Barnats, honestly. Yeah. Not evil. I will only call her evil. I won't say her real name. Where do they get the son? Was that like, did they end up? They made them.

They had three sons and then adopted a daughter. And then said the daughter was actually not eight. She was 30 and they dropped her off. Dude, the other thing that's real weird at the end is like they slightly allude to the fact that the mom Was whoring out Natalia grace really I didn't get to the end fell asleep Yeah, it's wild

Yeah, you want this computer back in how many pieces they show fucking Mike Barnett the midget saying that the mom was trying to whore out Natalia to the midget and Mike Barnett acts like he didn't know about it and freaks out wild shit Yeah, it's scary thinking about like imagine adopted a midget be like I could have people a beta for the guy was evil, too Though the guy was just on the sure Evil an evil woman who's like, you know, they can like they can easily have sex with a midget Yeah, it's like you have sex with whoever you want They can really like they can slide into just like kind of,

they have like no roadblocks sliding into like horrible behavior where I could dude has to like, you can't just go, you can even want, you could want to have sex with a midget, but it's like, it's not automatic. Yeah. It's automatic. You'd have to court them for a while. Hey, nobody, you couldn't do it right away. But a lady nervously go walk by them 17 times and finally, Hey, look at a shirt. I've never approached someone at the gym. What never approach a human like out in public? No, same here.

Oh, I've done that. I've done a one approach like a lady. Girl. Yeah, definitely not. Dude, if I approach someone at the gym, I was crying. You told me to check in with him on the phone. No, I wasn't. She acted like I was trying to approach her. I was crying. You told me chicken with him on the phone. No, I was even she acted like I was trying to approach her. I was just trying to ask about the dog. She lives right next to me.

What's that dog's name? I see it all the time. I'm on the phone right now. All right. God, dude. Yeah. See you later. Big gulps, huh?

What was your approach, Bill? What was the nature of your like, how did it go down? It was my last girlfriend. She was a yoga instructor. I was like, dude, I got a bad back. What is up? True. That's pretty easy.

I let you. I know you did. I was thinking about it the whole time. How many classes did you take before you made the approach? It was three weeks. Okay. I sat there, I went to class three times a week for three weeks.

And every time I was like, oh, I feel it. Just sweaty with a headache. Like And every time I feel it, just sweaty with a headache like I did restaurant, Depot parking lot one time. Oh, really? Went down. Yeah, really? You asked a lady for like a number

or something. Get it. Yeah, we had it. We had a brief tryst during that period. Damn, I got approached by an Asian woman in a Home Depot parking lot. One time it was, they won't leave you alone, bro. The massage place.

No, no, no. This was, this was, uh, maybe like a year ago, I was just in Home Depot parking lot working on the house means paid did. And the city's like, excuse me. It was like, what's up. I think she was insane. And she just, she's like, call me sometime. And then gave me her number if you want to blow if you want a blow job. And then drove away.

What? It was crazy. Yeah, it was crazy. Never called her. He tore it up. What? He tore the number up. He said, what the fuck?

Yeah. You kept it. I looked at it like it was the ring. I looked at it like it was the ring. I could have a blow job and maybe an STD, but maybe a blow job. I don't think you get STDs from blow jobs. I could not match her freak, as they say. Yeah, if you get an STD, but maybe a blowjob. I Don't think you get STDs from blowjobs. I could not match her freak as they say

Yeah, if you get herpes very easily from a blowjob you could I think that's a tough one, dude Still it could I mean it could you could get an STD from head but being single is the worst thing on the planet I don't know dudes like do that shit like oh, I fuck chicks all the time. I have sex with one girl I have an STD Fucking chlamydia. It's brutal. I was watching Jordan Peterson, he had this guy on fucking Matthew, I forget his name,

but he did that documentary where like, the first one was like, what is a woman? What is the name? Yeah, Matt Walsh. He's got MI Racist is coming out. Yeah. Yes, I was watching that. But then they started talking about like, he's like, yeah, well like, you know, you're, you're married or Jordan Pierce

was like, you're married. Like, you know, what's to stop you from like cashing in and all your fame and like, you know, it was like, he wasn't asking him seriously. He just wanted to hear his answer. But the whole time he's like, I don't understand like what even the appeal would be. And it's like, dude, it's not bad.

Like I understand being like, I wouldn't sacrifice my family, but to be like, I don't even see like why people would do that. It's like, he's playing life on easy. Just sits there and are he's with trannies and college kids. Like it's easy shit in the world, dude. So while you own a bunch of mentally like unstable fucking people that are confusing shit right now, you're sitting there fucking wrecking them in HD. Like congratulations. No, what I'm saying is that Bill Maher did religious with like truckers. Oh yeah. What do you think about the Bible? And they're like, but man, they're like, this is all we have, bro. It's like, so I went into a truck stop church and I said, fuck yeah.

Same shit Ben Shapiro does like Ben Shapiro will go to like Oxford and fucking destroy kids like do Congratulations shit's not that hard what Oxford isn't that like a prestigious English University college kids They're going in there with like they run fully on emotion. Yeah, the college kids even at Oxford. I watched that Yeah, like yeah, and he still gets clipped by him like some of them get him Yeah. And he still gets clipped by him. Like some of them get him. I would get destroyed at Oxford. If I came in, I was like, actually, this is what I think about the president.

They'd be like, dude, shut the fuck up. Yeah, that sure as well. Actually, this thing this way wrong. And I'm going to talk so fast that it's like you're just like, sure, man. You know what? You went. I don't like motor mouth like destiny. But dude, the it was just so funny. King motor mouth. He's the number one motor mouth. I've never. I don't think motor mouth like destiny, but dude the it was just so king motor mouth. He's the number one motor mouth

I've never I don't think I've ever Brutal dude, don't don't do it. What's he what's he what side is he on? He's liberal as fuck nice He's a counsel, but he's like a liberal. It says like retard and faggot You know what I mean? Yeah one of those so he's an edge lord But a liberal was't an open relationship with his girlfriend, his girlfriend, his wife or girlfriend left him for a sissy boy. That would push you to be bothered me.

And then immediately fucking all that Israel Palestine should happen. They went on Israel side. So I don't know what the fuck's going on. That guy's brain. He's just grasping. That's all the hold on to. I can't figure it out. I'm I'm ruined.

What? All of it. What's all I'm told. I can't figure it out. I'm ruined. What? All of it. What? Like Ukraine and Israel. Yeah, I mean, they're- I'm out. They're trying to get you to pick a side. You ever see that meme where it's like,

oh, you don't support Israel, so you must support Palestine. It's a fucking kid in Star Wars just staring at the girl. It's like, dude, you don't have to support either of them. They can both- Whatever. My thing is like, maybe I'm just minding my own business. This is the beeswax party. Yeah, that's what we mind over here. It's a hard part about business minding your own brother

Leave me alone speaking of which 9-eleven It is 9-eleven unrelated Your Twitter's crazy right now if you Actually forgot I literally forgot you guys Twitter's crazy right now. If you want to get fucking that you actually forgot, I literally forgot you guys for 10 seconds, quiet for 10 seconds. Yes. And be my ass if you want Matt, Bill, don't make light of it. Yeah, dude, what's going on with Twitter? Well, I'm not playing your sick and twisted game, dude. I'm not either, dude.

I like to respect the phone. You fuck a piece of shit on Twitter. They're all saying Israel did it. That's the whole thing. I'd like to respect the phone. You fuck a piece of shit on Twitter. They're all saying Israel did it. What about building seven? Good question. Yeah. I saw, I saw some of that stuff. Now Candice, Candice Owens, dude, that's your girl. She's going hard as fuck. Rabbi Schmoley. What's that? Rabbi Schmoley. I don't know what the fucking disgusting looking dude. Hold on. He's brutal. You need to stick to baby Gronk. No, Candice Owens and Rabbi Schmoly went on Pierce Morgan and Candice Owens was like, dude, you guys are a synagogue

of Satan. You killed MJ. The guy's like, what are you talking about? He made the book kosher sex. He's a brutal to look at. Wait, is kosher sex the one with his daughter? No, he's the dude who has a butt plug shop with his daughter and he constantly comes at people saying, well, these are all freaks. I know it's hilarious. He's he's just Jewish Candace Owens. He's like, you know, he's just a fucking maniac. I don't know what it is.

I mean, dude, here's the thing. Unless she's right about the crowns, having a penis, she can be right. She's really dressed up as that for a Jewish holiday. Who is that? That's Schmooley. It's him having a goof. No, I saw, I saw that. Yeah, he's a fucking freak, dude.

He's a, he's got to shave the beard, dude. That thing's like pubes. He's got a wispy beard. You just, dude, you just hate kosher sex. That's your fault. I don't hate kosher sex I love Jewish sex. That's all he says the Candace out. I love Jewish love. You got you're just obsessed with the Jewish bedroom Wait, I don't even understand the dining are they on the they're against each other Oh, so yeah, so Candace Owens Candace is free pass watch a few fucking documentaries. I've seen before bro

She couldn't keep a lid on it. Holy shit She's fucking I think she was sent. I think she sent yay the Floyd doc and yeah, he was like I got a couple docs Oh, yeah doc for doc. Yeah Yeah, the Candace doc Fucked him up Yeah, Candace doc. Yeah, he was beside white lives matter him up. Yeah. Candice, Doc.

Yeah, he was just so white lives matter. Yeah, you might often hit the white lives matter shirt. You called that pretty well when you saw that. I just watched the end is dark and I was like, oh, he's saying everything from the documentary.

Doc for Doc. Yeah, the treacherous holding it out with your friends. Well, do the viral right is in a sorry state. They've completely turned on each other. Oh, that's that's what I noticed about Twitter today was the left is winning the me more than no Yeah, every video is a video of Trump talking about eating cats. I know that's the sign me it used to be the they can't mean Bro, I know you want to hold on to the fact that the right I'm not a dude. I'm

Unaffiliated look I'm a Notre Dame fan, dude. I remember the glory days. I need help. I remember the glory days Last night Trump. I'll say I you that was NIU Losing the fucking NIU. Yeah, that should even be a game Shouldn't have been a game. I But dude, I'm watching it like, dude, you should say this. How do you not know? Trump just keeps hitting the border, the

border. So, dude, we fucking get it. Yeah. Expose her ass. How old is Trump now? He's old as shit. I mean, don't fall to the old sauce the Democrats fell for. He might be gazed up, dude. He is.

He's gazed, but he's not still good. He is not. He's not fully gazed. No, he's not Biden for sure, but he's for sure. He's been geesed the last four years. He actually was all geesed wise. He was all right. He's getting a little fired up. They just got shot in the fucking head.

He's not as sharp, though, like talking. He used to just murder people. I guess now they've studied his game and they're like kind of crafting questions. I think they're just trying to get him to chill the fuck out. And also they get many of the fucking debate, all the debates. Like, it's weird to shit that they're just trying to get them to chill the fuck out. And also, they didn't give them any of the fucking debate. All the debates, like, it's weird as shit that they're doing no crowds. I know.

It is creepy. You're the president of the United States, but you can't do a debate in front of a crowd. That's what you want to do. The one thing I also noticed is, how the fuck is homeless people not a topic? Why is that? They're totally ignored.

Obviously. Matthew and I travel quite a bit. Yeah. Every single city in this country. Oh, that's crazy. You think it's just New York or Philly or whatever. No, it's every single city. They're giving the fucking... No one cares.

Yeah, true. They're giving the Haitians and the Venezuelans three G's a month and food stamps. And then vets are just getting nothing Now you're Trump That's the facts of life, bro. I hear you. I agree. I agree it is why but that's what's wrong with it What are we doing with the homeless bro? Put them can we do that as a topic next debate? Can someone go? What are your plans with the homeless people put them in? Yeah, that's I do I do like when Trump was like, what's your plan? He goes, I have a concept of a plan.

Yeah, it's not a full. I'm not present yet. I'll tell you. I'm president. That was actually a sick answer. Like, dude, if I were president, I have a plan. Like I kind of know what I want to do. But like, but also, dude, she just takes all his plans.

I think he's like, I'm going to do this. She's like, yeah, this is my plan. Now I get why he's like, yeah, I'm not fucking telling you. Yeah, she's taking. Joke. She's my man. See, she is. Man, she is. She also said some dramatic shit like I'm not fucking telling you. Yeah, she's taking all the plans. She's minding the men's ear. She is men's ear. She also said some dramatic ass shit, like he doesn't care about you.

He cares about himself. And Trump just goes, that was for a sound bite. You don't actually believe that. Then they start talking to him. He had some good ones. No, he did have some good ones. But they cut his mic so he couldn't hit her with. They cut the mics in between so he couldn't hit.

They could never have a, because you'd be in jail ever again. Yeah. It's the greatest clip of all time. I know that was so funny. Senator Clinton also today marks the same day that Hillary Clinton came out of that black van and fucking passed down that secret service, had a carrier back in it. Remember that video? You know that video. How about, they don't, they don't like bring her out.

I don't see her at all. Like, I know like Obama's come out and they're like, yeah, we love Kamala Harris, but he don't see like Hillary Clinton. A boy like Clinton's fucking. They know that's bad, bro. They know it's bad. Yeah. Meanwhile, they're still touting Dick Cheney. That's wild.

That's where I'm confused. Like what the fuck's going on? I'm confused. How does a confused person get a resolution? I'm going back to Waterloo. Yeah, they fucking are like, oh yeah. Matt's confused. We're both sitting over here with Jivroos.

I know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? You know, you're talking about how do you know the Dick Cheney? I don't know the Waterloo reference, but I will say I will say I'm going back where the vampires stay. How do you kill someone when you're already dead? The Indian guy on a Toronto faction. Turn on this place looks like New York, Manhattan. We're all the bombs. We're all the bombs. They're gonna do the creating bulbs. they created me next year. We're not gonna be able to have like the come out like the

Like artificially stitched together like media personality that like I think Kamala Harris is I don't think we'll be able to have them anymore They're gonna have to have this one's working, bro And I was just working like crazy. It's good. They're gonna crack it though It's like it needs this whole infrastructure to support it. If you have guys doing three hour conversations on like, you know, gigantic podcasts, it's going to start undercutting that. Like us, bro. Exactly. Like we are the fucking tears.

But if it's like she can do that all she wants, it looks awesome on TV. But then it's like, I don't know, maybe if she really pulled you out. You're a racist. I think it'll be. I think this might be the last time you can do that. I think she might be like the death rattle of being able to just completely prop a person up artificially. I would have thought that until I saw how successful this has been. She doesn't do interviews. She doesn't have to do interviews.

She literally just shows up, did recited speeches during the debate. You better think a union I don't really don't think I mean this will be the end of if Trump loses That's the Trump's gone and now the Republican Party is gonna have Probably like five or six guys trying to imitate him and the rest of them are gonna go back to like Mitt Romney shit neocons It's good. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Maybe. What are you having to do? Back to the unit party, bro. What's the unit party? They're the exact same party. Yeah. It will go back to that. Trump dog is kind of the only outlier. Yeah.

Yeah, true. RFK, Vivek, Tulsi Gabbard. I don't know. You know Tulsi got that gray streak from war space. Tell me that last night. What? Yeah. It's so hot. How? I don'tard. I don't know. You know Tulsi got that great streak from Warspade told me that last night. What? Yeah, so how? I don't know. That's all. Yeah, like anxiety. Probably anxiety. I do like the great streak, I'll be honest. I was trying to focus on the merit and policy, but yes, I'm a fan of the great streak.

Same here. Great streak's nice. Dude, who was I just thinking about it's hot as shit. Dude, Carly Simon's hot as fuck. You ever see her old album covers? Maybe we have no secrets by Carly Simon. Look up her old album covers, dude. She's hot as fuck. Really? Anything for her.

Yeah. Do we mean really? You seem to fuck. She looks like Mick Jagger. No, she doesn't. Fuck. Did we talk exactly like Mick Jag really? You seem to fuck mom. She looks like Mick Jagger, bro. No, she doesn't. Fuck off. Yeah, dude. What are you talking about? She looks exactly like Mick Jagger, you fucking bro. Stop! Bro.

What are you, I don't know. This is one I don't really. No. Are we sure she's not Mick Jagger? Topanga from Boy Meets World crushes Carly Simon. She looks like her. I know, but Topanga is looking. Oh, you just like nipples.

Yeah, look at those fucking nipples. You like the nipples. Bangoops. No, Carly Simon's obviously hot. Yeah, you at those you look at nipples No, because I'm obviously hot yeah fucking hater I mean, yeah, your painter is like absolutely power babe. I'm like she's she's a power babe. She's not Roberts she's no Julia Roberts. That's what I'm saying That's right Obviously like 13 going on 30, but she's not fucking hotter.

Bro, you're gonna put prime versus prime. Julie Roberts versus Carly Sonders. Carly Sonders is hotter. Just fucking crack, bro. Maybe just what I'm meant to. I don't know what you guys are into, but we can have differences. These are both two big mouth beauties.

Let's make a change. It's time to make a change. These are two large mouth bastards. They are, they are. They got huge mouths. It's time to make a change for real. Can't be locking up cheating. That was, I'm with him on that dude. Dude, he handled that poorly. What? Not even close to as poorly as those fucking cops. Palestine, dude. I don't also like cops because of this. No, those cops handled that like shit. Obviously dude Cop attitudes are the worst, but then the way I so cheetah Tyree kill Tyree kill was on his way to the game

On Sunday before the game he got pulled over. I didn't know he was going 100 and a hundred and a fifty five Or like 80 he was going 80 and a fifty five is perfectly legal. That's you know that you do 80 in a 55 I would never don't lie right now, bro 95 is 55 if he was not going if he's going 100. I Yeah, I forget what it is. He's going 80. That's bit. Well, whatever either way They pull him over for speeding knock on his window. He rolls his window down. This is the only time you handle it wrong He was like, yo Don't knock on my fucking window so hard and then roll that was after they came and talked to me kept on his window. He rolls his window down. This is the only time he handled it wrong. He was like, yo, don't knock on my fucking window so hard.

And then roll. That was after they came and talked to him. He kept rolling his window back. And then he rolled his window back up. But it was, I think it was two Cuban cops. Yes. Motorcycle boys in Miami that were going fucking crazy. Cocaine Cowboys. They went nuts, dude. Locked it, pulled them out of the car, held them down. Like. Those dudes just had great school going through their heads. Were they like leather boots, like highway patrol guys?

Yes. Yeah, those guys apparently are like psychos. Every black dude that's ever picked on them in grade school. And then his teammates are stopping by because they're on the way to the stadium. They're right next to the stadium. They're like, get the fuck back in the car. You listen to me. Crazy. Scarface. They they scarface out what and they fucking put them. Scarface. They scarface out. What the fuck?

And they fucking put him in cuffs. Cuffed him up. Because he was like, don't knock on my window? Yeah, that's all he said. He was literally there like, we're going to pull you out of the car. He was standing to get out of the car when they yanked him out of the car. It was genuinely bad. Damn.

It was actually bad. I went into, I'll be honest. I let my bias take over I went into the before the body cam going out. I went into it going. I'm sure he was being an asshole That's what I thought. Yeah, I'm not being I'm not proud of that. No, he's not really he's fucking Tyree killed it. I know It's he the funny the body cam came out from the white cop who was like, holy shit. Do you know that is? Both the Cuban cops were like, what? Yeah. It's not Christiano Ronaldo. I'm messy. Like dolphin star player. He's like, oh really? It goes back to spazzing on him.

Oh, fuck bro. Oh yeah. Those cops sucked, bro. Not, not our problem, bro. Come on. Fucking racist ass Cuban pigs. Us white cops don't do that. They learned their lesson. Contrary prayer. But no, yeah, I'll, I'll be honest. I was relieved when I saw that was Cuban. It's everything. I just wait. Yeah. What's this going to be? Are they like pit bulls complexion or like, they're a little darker. They're like Jose Kinsenko types.

Jose Kinsenko. You know, they were. Guy reminded me of Kinsenko, but. Kinsenko. Is that not how you say his name? Kinsenko. How do you say his name? It's Kinsenko.

Fuck. It's not Kinsenko. Jose Kinsenko. Kinsenko. Kinsenko DiMaio. Is what it is. So he, did he like frill get his ass beat on the side of the road or they were shoving him around.

They're rough. We're rough, dude. Cry baby plays in the NFL. Also, you don't have to be a tough guy. It was very funny on Twitter where he's like, dude, this, we got to end the police brutality and this one dude just comments, you literally broke your kids arm and gave your wife a black eye. To be fair, he's talking about police brutality specifically.

True, true. Nothing to have to do with the CTEs fest. He's just a nasty devil, dude. That may be late. Matt, Matt, is this your brother? I can't believe Matt's a racist. He's been online. He's been corrupted by the media.

He's a racist. Matt's a racist. Yeah, dude, I know. Yeah, impossible, Bill. I have text that Matt's a racist. He's been online. He's been corrupted by the internet. Matt's a racist. Matt's a racist? Yeah, dude, I know I have text. Yeah, impossible, Bill. I have text that's proven. Impossible. Take this whole podcast down. Matt hates black people. No, you don't.

What the fuck? All right, well, the podcast ended. Just having fun, just getting around. Dude, what the hell? It's literally the last week. I read a CNN article. You've reached our time. I read a CNN article that said that.

What did it say? That's racist. Oh, true. There's a CNN article that says you guys are racist. What am I to believe? But you literally lied on me and said you have incriminating tweets or texts. Not yet.

Is that a Simon Reff? No way that's your part. No. Is that the new record? Holy shit. He sent me that. He said, my boy. Oh, that's his boy. My boy beat my record.

Holy shit. Simon Rex and his boys fart like demons. How do you fart that long? That's crazy. How the fuck do you do that? I don't know. I don't know, man. You hold it in for a while?

Girls do that. Maybe they're eating vegan or something. I feel like you ate just beans all day. I don't know what they're eating like vegan or something. I feel like you ate like just being all day. That's that's the fact that there's another guy out there who's his friend that also farts like that is crazy. It's pretty sick squat. But you're world class barters. You got high pitch ones.

Yeah, I can let out some. You got tight as whistle. Oh, yeah, he does got a tight ass whistle on. Thank you, fellas. No problem. I appreciate it. It's like a tropical jungle. Mine sound like a as whistle. Oh, he does got a tight ass whistle on. Thank you, fellas. No problem. I appreciate it. It's like a tropical jungle. Mine sound like a dog whistle.

Honestly. Yeah, right. Shit barely comes out of my head. Come on, man. Sorry to God. They go. Looks like I shit out tape worms every time I think of shit. It's like Bill Fox.

Oh. Sounds like a yawning. That is fucked up. You ever see the porn stars that get anal prolapses? My sweet. I haven't seen that, but I've seen some ones with miles on them where I'm like, it's time to get some sort of surgery

or something like that. Chimp asses. Yeah. You know, No, no, it's good. It's good. It's very good. Does the lady get ripped up by a champ at the end I haven't got to that point yet. That's what I'm I'm not hoping that that happens cuz I haven't seen it

No, she's getting interviewed. Okay, so I guess she's the girl who lived Peter hates when you fucking have fun with chimps Matt. What time did you have to go? I'm good Oh, I have a no, I'm good till like 5 p.m. I literally have no clue how long this is driving on for No, it's 3 o'clock here. I'm dumb as shit. I do that every time idiot. I always think it's so you advanced an hour Yeah, 430 we started at 230 dude Yeah, is there a time zone that would be one hour more Eastern than the East Coast? I feel like it jumps to like England South America always thought it thought it was Brazil, but it's not. It's not? No, Brazil's behind us.

No, it's not. Brazil's an hour behind us. Oh, they're with Texas. The time zone might be, but geographically they're not. What? The latitude? I swear to God, Iceland. Maybe Iceland's like.

Brazil's behind us, right? Not geographically. I think they are. Not geographically. They're way in front of us. Yeah, they're kind of sticking out. We're like with Chile. We're on the same side as Chile. What?

Yeah, Brazil. Oh, yeah, my bad. I had the opposite way. I always thought fucking Brazil was under Texas for some reason. I still do, obviously. That's me. That is caked into my brain. That's what I hear. I make what are you going to do? Well, there's nothing we can do. By the way, chicken bake. Not bragging, guys, but have you seen my strain library?

What the fuck is all the cops called? The legal in Texas. Call the cops. What is that stuff? Is my strain libraries, all my weed strains. Oh, shit. And you got cool cases for them. Yeah, I got these cool metal cases You know the dog is a bag Josh do is that your is that our um paintball picture at the top there? Oh, you know it is damn. That's sick. That is sick

You ever get a fucking you're gonna go into this thing Try to find the picture of Billy and spud There's baby Billy right here. Grizzled vets. Grizzled vets. Front and center, dude. Horrified from what he saw. No, this is old, dude.

Horrified from what he saw. What year is that? Oh, I was like fucking eight. With the American flag. My dad was like fucking 280 in that picture. Wait, was that your dad next to you? Yeah. Show the fucking camera better, man.

I can't see. I can see it. Zum in. Damn, your dad was huge. My dad was a unit, dude. I can't see. I can see it. Zoom in. My dad was a unit, dude. And he looks exactly like trigger discipline on my finger too. Did he really? No.

There's the rooster right there. The killing rooster. Yeah, that was awesome. That was great. That was a great paintball trip. Cora Manberry. It really was. I remember... It's was awesome. That was great. That was a great paintball trip. Cool memory. It really was. I remember two people got in a big fist fight. It was awesome. All the dads were like passed out. Who got in a fist fight?

Huh? Who got in a fist fight? I don't want to say their names, but there was two people got a fist fight in a hotel room, which was like the craziest venue for a fist fight. What is it? That's like world star shit. Yeah, I know, it was pretty sick Is it how old were the gentlemen in the fistfight? Like eighth graders like okay our friends got it was like two eighth graders fought in the hotel room

I was dude the hotel had a bowling alley. I was mind fucked. I Must have bowled seven games so we can just keep playing the gas. Okay,'m gonna glow ball until I can't fucking see straight. You're Forrest Gump with the Dr. Peppers. I love it. You're gonna wait, these are just unlimited games of bowling? My one cousin got fucking kicked out of the hotel. For what? Fucking DC sniper. He was in the hotel room shooting out the window.

He brought his own paintball gun. He brought his own rig. I didn't have one, I wasn't allowed to. That's a psycho. That's crazy. That would've happened now, that would be on the news. Yeah. He got his turn called. It's just a hotel guy have happened now. That would be on the news. Yeah. He got it. It was just a hotel guy.

Like, dude, you got to like leave the did he get he got kicked out of the hotel or you just get out of the hotel? Yeah, I think. Oh, that's right. Because then at the end of the night. Yeah, I remember. Then he was gone. Yeah, that was the night we woke up. My little cousin, he was asleep and we were all just like smoking weed and drinking. We're like, bro, he was like out passed out from just like smoking weed and drinking. We were like, bro, he was like out, passed out from drinking and smoking weed.

It was like, like a little kid. And we were like shaking them. I'm like, bro, the building's on fire. We got to get out of here. And he just chased us around the lobby, the lobby, like the floor, like the third floor and we just ran laps around the third floor and eventually he came through and was like, what the fuck are we doing? My brother, Tom did that to us in Dublin.

Where were you guys for the? Same place. Yeah. Yeah, Tom told me and my cousins in Dublin, Ireland, that there's a pool in the fucking hotel. We were walking around the whole thing in bathing suits, asking everyone, where's the pool? And they were just like, there's no pool here.

Completely pranked. Come back, Kana. I just produced one of Tom's podcasts? No biggie. I heard no big deal. I heard just like I'm doing right now. True. Yes. Look at that. You need a palm dude. He will sit there. Oh, it's a gay dog. It's like dude. It's the best. It is a gay dog. It's the best. Reggie lay down boy. Lay down boy. What are you guys getting up to the rest of the night? What's your vibe? I have no plans. I need some chicken. Obviously Warhammer.

Chicken bake. I gotta finish this campaign. Yeah. What's the campaign? Right now the Terranids are fucking shit up. I don't know. A million. I think it's 40,000. 40,000 40,000 That's fucking I think that's why it's called warhammer 40 2040 Now it's already 20 in the future 4,000. I hear 40,000. It's great hammer 40k. It's for are you serious? Yeah, it's a fucking crazy name for a video game. It could just 4,000. I gotta be on my jacob type shit tomorrow

I gotta wake up at 430 the morning. Why what for early? Yes, I'm taking go to a crazy name for a video game. It could just be 4,000. I gotta be on my Jaco type shit tomorrow. I gotta wake up at 4.30 in the morning. Why? What for? Early as, I'm taking a super early flight. Where do you keep taking these flights? Providence. I like, well, I like getting out early so I can catch a nap before the show.

Yeah, you have to nap if you're waking up at four. Yeah, you could front load your nap. Bro, I'm telling you. Add it to the sleep. Oh yeah, it's tough to sleep with the children. Yeah, you gotta put them down. They wake up in the middle to the sleep. Oh, yeah. It's tough to stuff to sleep with the children. Yeah, you got to put them down. They wake up in the middle of the night that way. It's and it's like if I leave when they're still there, like they get spun out.

So you're hitting that 430 a.m. Like I got to go. Jack, you're getting out as long as you can get. Well, do that. You have to. Otherwise, if they're like getting ready for school and I'm like rolling out the suitcase, they're going to fucking spaz. I mean, what the fuck? Oh, you got to. Otherwise, if they're getting ready for school and I'm rolling out with a suitcase, they're gonna fucking spaz. I'm like, what the fuck? Oh, you got to sneak out like a deadbeat.

You got to sneak out before them. And I got to sneak out like an actual, yeah, I just write them a little letter and I say, you guys be good and listen to your mama. Yeah. Then I take the most supreme man. I'll be back in two days. And Spade's going with you.

Spade's coming in. Spade's doing five. Oh, sick. Open it up. You're lying. Yeah, I know. Damn. I might have a master it up. You're lying. Yeah, I know. Damn. I might have a master of ceremonies, like not even host. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show.

Just have a guy. So dude, your bro Glenn Lowry is coming too. I'm going to interview him when I'm out there. In Providence? He's coming to the show? Yeah, he works at Brown University. Sick. I'm excited.

Is it at the Comedy Connection? Yeah. That's a fun little venue. Yeah. That's a good time in there. Those Providence people go out. Is Roger Furt going? Yeah, invite the other.

I'll probably. I rolled in him last time. I want to see him and Spade meet. Yeah, they will. They absolutely, most likely will. It's a Manhattan project. Awesome. That'd be very sick, actually.

Yeah. All right. Well, I think we're good enough. Yeah, man. 419, what is this? Oh, fuck yeah. God damn, man. We've been ripped in forever. 230, I think we're good enough. Yeah, man. For 19. What is this? Oh, fuck. Yeah. God damn. Yeah. We've been ready to 30, 30, 30, 30. All right. Yeah. Yes. To 30, 30, 30, 30. Not two hours. I mean, it's good. It's your product. It's good stuff.

It's your product. All right. Thank you. Yeah. Love you guys. Goodbye. See you later.