Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 518 - Daddy's Home (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

Episode Date: September 22, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Chris @ https://www.patreon.com/stuffisland Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Surprise :) He Hath Returned. Sunday Blessing. Long live the King. Nothing else to be said. Please enjoy. God Bless.

Kirby's yeah, the econ man. Yeah, it's good to be back Matt's out of town although. I'm out of town, but Matt's I think Matt's on He's in Turks and Caicos really yes, but Wow in bigger news the return of the King he's back yeah, what the fuck what took so long? Well, what do you ask you nine thousand times? No times. No, you didn't. No, no, no. But first of all, I retired twice. I did retire twice. What do you mean I did the first time, Matt titled it Gerbie Swan song, I think, and then when you were like, dude, I got nothing. I don't know what I'm gonna say. That's how it works.

You got nothing. We thought we had nothing and then in the car, Gerbie's accidentally spilled the beans a little. What? He was telling me, he was at Wawa and he was talking to Amy from the show about how he wanted to wear these nice patterned pants. Oh.

And he was like, all right, here, I'll let you tell it. Misrepresenting the story. Hey, I got, am I not allowed to address the, okay. Yeah, you can address the fans. Well, no, I won't do it, okay, I'm done. But I don't talk. What a directed dress. After retirement, back talking to the camera, Okay So I had ordered a sweater off of eBay Mm-hmm cuz I it was like a lacoste sweater. It looks awesome I had a water around she because I don't know what he's gonna be there. Yeah, you know

It looks awesome. I had to order around shade because I don't know what he's going to be there. Yeah. You know, and then she was saying you should wear it with like patterned pants. Were you there for that? I was like, are you out of your room for this? Yeah. Yeah.

I thought it was for golf. No, I thought you were going to go golfing. No, with your just wearing it. It's just casual. Yeah. Pattern pant. What type of pattern? No, I didn't want that's what I'm saying. I didn't what type of pattern? No, I didn't even want pattern.

That's what I'm saying. I didn't want patterned pants. Oh, it was being thrust upon you. And she couldn't comprehend like the death sentence. All right. And before they think I'm an asshole, it's like, that's good. You need the checks and balances, which you acknowledge because without me, you, this is what started the conversation.

He said without me, he'd be a jewelry man. He'd be wearing rings and then he admitted he would be wearing bracelets. Car ride home, he spills the beans about what type of bracelets and he's thinking Johnny Depp style. He's talking tons of leather bracelets, which insane. And then he also spilled because

We're in the car and I'm playing music and I realize Steve There's not one song I could play that and then I realized Steve must not like music and he was like yeah I'm not much of a music guy Have tried I've got trying to go through a fan I tried to be like I do the same thing I think in this guy college and he was really like fish and disco biscuits, and I like try to go a jam That sucks It wasn't my scene. No, that's so it's like a lot of that dancing like this. Yeah. Yeah

But then I realized the only song I know he likes is Pirates of the Caribbean theme song Yeah, and he wants to wear Johnny Depp bracelets He wants to be Because I'm like you just want to dress like Johnny Depp he's like no I don't Second later he goes I did try the bandana I just put it on just to see what it is Years ago walk around the house tried to wear a bandana bracelet. Exactly. But the thing about the whole thing.

Insane choice. I want to feel like I'm not that far off from a bandana. Well, first of all, the, I recently, I almost decided to just listen exclusively to movie music, like theme song music. And yeah, I understand. Rap takes a toll on you. Yeah. You drive around talking about jizzing in your girlfriend's

face. Oh, it's as close as I can get to actually listen to classical music is just listening to Thomas Newman songs, you know, Shawshank Redemption soundtrack. Well, listen, and I do think about jewelry every once in a while I've never put it on I want to go back. I do agree with the First statement that it's important to have a Shane in your life

Yeah for friends to you don't want to. Yeah. You know, yeah. If you were out here in Westchester all by yourself, if we weren't doing tires, yeah, you'd be wearing a bandana bracelet at this age. No, I don't think so. I could, I know be out of control. Yeah. Without the fame and stardom has gone to your head. What do I have on my wrist? has gone to your head. No, how's it gone to my head? What do I have on my wrist?

You got that tattoo? You know that's 20 years old. How dare you? All I'm suggesting is it is true. I remember, I think like, at least the time that stands out in my mind was I had made a video, I put it on YouTube, and then Shane was like, you wore that shirt because you think your bicep

looks good in that shirt Yeah, I was like no, but yes He was doing like a handyman YouTube channel and then one of the shots was him laying on the bed like He was leaning on the bed flexing his heart as it like shaking flexing I'm sitting on the edge of the bay it wasn't a whole day but this it was a very funny show though it was good don't try and throw me off kill the night but I think everything you do is good I really want my dad in his retirement to start a handyman YouTube channel It would be great

Just dropping screws Just leaving the camera rolling Beating off in the room It's a seven and a half hour video He jacks off twice God damn it Jesus on himself. Fuck.

Live streaming. Dad jacks off. He's trying to build a bird house. Yes, just keeps jacking off. Behind the shed. It's a god damn Phillips head. Oh man, but Patsy

If you're gonna tell me you don't want to like wear a ring occasionally, I don't want to wear it never rings It's never rings. It's like I do I think like a necklace for some necklace across my mind you would wear like a v-neck and have like yeah you'd be weird neither of us neither of us have the body type for a chain you don't have shoulders I have a hunched over neck half the chain would be laying flat on the back of my fucking neck It'd be bad. It is funny without shoulders and wearing a bunch of stuff on your wrists I know I didn't want to bring up the shoulders, but the shoulders with the fucking It wouldn't be cool would be like if you wore a bracelet like that I would think something happened to your wrist Cool would be like if you wore a bracelet like that. I would think something happened to your wrist

If you got super tan and shaved your head you'd look like a yeah doesn't work the Street Fighter guy I tried that Shaving the head yeah Yeah, no I've I've like a I've like an old st Christopher medallion that my mom gave me when I was a kid and I want to make a necklace out of it every once In a while, I think I did I will necklace out of it. Every once in a while I think, I will never, but I do think about it. I think you could wear like a nice thin necklace. I know, but it's like it's a whole new guy,

you know what I mean? I know, I'm not that guy. Yeah. And the thin necklace also on me looks crazy. Yeah. And then you go swimming, I've gone swimming wearing a necklace, I look insane. Yeah.

It's not good. I always think of really insecure dudes when I think of the chain with a Medallion it sounds like we're the ones that are the actual insecure one. I know I know but I get to put it on Who do I think I am? Fucking necklace no one would care. I never watch in my life till I got this Yeah, I see the I see what that's about I feel like I have a photo That I it's like a breaking case of an emergency if I ever need to make something up to you What photo what I shaved my head let me see it

Look at say, but I what if the plan was I was gonna like you This was like Facebook time era. Yeah, yeah, and I was gonna like say put this post It's like I'm done trying to fight the hair loss like, you know, yeah, and it was wearing a shirt that said real women suck dick Oh my god Joke I have that photo and it's something like if I show it to you. But my hair is just because you gave you a shirt that said real women suck. I bought it off line. So such a pervert.

No, it's a joke. It was just, I mean, I was just, but my hairline is like so thick right up front and then it's thin. So when I shaved it, I would get like a five o'clock shadow like here. You get a little Ronaldo. Yeah. Is that what it is? Well, no, it's just a soccer player that did that.

Oh. I, yeah, look. Doesn't work for me. I thought I could do it. I've been on this podcast bragging for years I'll go I'll just go bald like a man. Yeah Start staring it down. Yeah Not gonna be good. I thought I'd get jacked or something

And fucking fat I Get your hair back what I got a haircut the other day and the lady like like showed me my hair from the back Not good. I'm getting hair. I was like good for you. Are you I'm not gonna bring it I'm not I'm gonna just stop it where it's at. That's fine. I'm not gonna get like a hairline. No go all the way back it would Bald no. No, I'm just saying no no no no get a lush. I don't like when people do that I like when people have fake hair and an old face Wrinkled face with the hairline No, but it looks so good. No, it doesn't yeah the pros you're gonna go to Turkey or whatever. No, I'm not no matter

What I'm not going to Turkey. Yeah going to Turkey. Yeah terrible idea. Would you go to Turkey? No. But for the hair. Of course I wouldn't go to Turkey. No. You did like some of the stuff around here. I heard the best guys are overseeing. But how could that be? I think it's just the cheapest. Okay. I would. Yeah, I would want, yeah. I had to, yeah, I don't know. I'm not, I probably won't ever do it out of laziness. Yeah. It's never too late, right? Yeah, it is. You can't go bald and then get hair all of a sudden. Yeah, you can.

I mean, you can, but it's crazy. It's tough. Nah. It's wild to not have hair. Yeah. I think that's what you should do just be let it go It'd be like if we got hair yeah, it'd be fucked up His fake hair creeps me out a little. If Louie came back.

With a full head of red hair. That'd be awesome. He'd be like, he's back. He's, yeah. Well, Gerby's, it's amazing to have you come out of retirement like this. No, thanks for having me on. What have you been up to?

Sexually, what have you been up to? I don't, you know I bring you on. I need to know about your sex life. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's exactly what you would imagine. Same old tricks. Same old tricks tricks perhaps a few What Discovered what did you discover?

Just that different women have different sensitivities on on oh in the scripts That's real, how did you find that out research or can be open communication the better Yeah, so what did you discover through open communication of the better that different well, I mean are we so well We'll just write something else but different sides of the weekend. Yeah, that's fine clitoris are Are sensitive for different women they'll be like one side ladies are like I'm a lefty. Yeah, I Didn't know this. Yeah, and now I'm thinking about my own dick and whether it's lefty or righty. I

Seems like a middle Pretty sensitive in general spread. Yeah. Yeah I Pretty sensitive in general will spread. Yeah. Yeah All right. Well good. We got that out of the way you still talking dirty Do you have anything you want to share about that? I don't want to share but How do you like living in Westchester, I love it yeah, this is very nice incredible. It's so nice. It's actually a little too nice I know it's Fucking Austin I know It's so nice. It's actually a little too nice No, it's

Fucking Austin. I know It's hot. I don't know. It's hot. Okay, there's no truth. This is there's not this is doesn't exist there interesting Yeah, the rocks and dirty trees. Yeah You don't realize how much of this is like a party until you like leave it. Okay, you know, I'm a Northeast guy You are a Pennsylvania obviously in the Pennsylvania I don't know. This is like when I went to Spain thinking I'd be Hemingway. Yeah, I went to Texas and immediately was like nope I like it here, but this is not for me. I don't belong here Could you imagine being someone who actually traveled by like horse and wagon down? being someone who actually traveled by like horse and wagon down to Texas and then just like fuck it's hot.

I go fuck I brought all my friends. Fuck. And then that's probably why they just kept going. Yeah. Just like no it's got to get better. It's got to get mauled by Indians. Think about the dumbasses that got stuck in the Midwest. They probably got there in like the spring or the summer. Yeah, they're probably this is great

fucking 12 feet of snow But no I've I've it's it's obviously it's great to driving on the roads Like just yeah I'm ready to get the fuck out of Philly though already. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited to get here. Philly did take the hit. What's that? Of COVID wise.

Yeah. Philly got it. Everything's closed. Yeah. And scary. And it is scary. Yeah. I tried to like take some people to coffee shops like that.

I always used to go to. I went to like four different ones. I just kept walking around the people to coffee shops like that. I always used to go to, I went to like four different ones. I just kept walking around the city cause they were all close. They'd all just been shot at about bards and Irish pub. Yeah. Those are staples need bards. Hey back. That's where you used to get after it. I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we would hang out after a party animal, not a party animal, but you know, you'd have... I remember one time we got a bill at Bard's

and it was Kent and Doogie and myself and they called me fancy pants. Like on the, that's totally... Were you wearing fancy pants when they labeled you? Yeah, I always just tuck in my shirt and sometimes wear a tie doing standup. You would have absolutely hated me. I've seen pictures and... Yeah, yeah doing stand-up. You would have absolutely hated me. I've seen pictures.

Yeah, yeah, brutal, embarrassing. Sorry, I wore a blazer once doing open mic. I haven't forgotten that. That was a decade ago. It keeps me up at night. What were you trying to do? Just change it up. Blazer.

I wore one of my dad's blazers. I wore blazer and jeans on stage at the Harrisburg Comedy Zone probably talked about Probably was racist Then got blacked out and went home not much has changed other than the blazer When did you guys first meet 2012 or 13 was just at helium yeah interesting yeah would have been helium and Medusa it was at yeah it was that helium you came up to me you said that was good nice Wow yeah I'm just a nice guy yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, you knew the real me. You knew. You knew deep down inside.

But instead you came up and you were like, that was really good. Yeah. I knew you were a good guy. You were wearing like a North Face. I was like, that guy knows business. He's got it together. I'm not hanging out with the rest. I mean, you were the best option. Everyone else there was visibly retarded. The open mic scene was insane.

Yeah, it was crazy. You guys had a nice...you guys scene was insane. Yeah, it was crazy. You guys had a nice, you guys were before us. Yeah, yeah. And that was like, you guys had some good guys. Yeah, for sure. That was McKeever and Pope. Yeah. And Doody.

That's right, yeah. And I remember seeing Kevin Ryan, Foley. Pat House, Kevin Ryan, Foley. Sure. All those guys. All those guys. And then there were some crazy boys on the, who's that one dude?

Kind of looked like Dave Chappelle He went nuts later. He came back and like threatened to shoot up. Oh Yeah, even if I know the name Well other than that we're just all Working on tires where you guys are I stopped. I say, how's it going? You are. Has Steve tried to get you into golf yet? No, I've been in Philly.

Oh, yeah, true. When I'm out here, I'll give it a shot. OK. I don't think I'll be available. I don't think there's going to be a day off. I know, it's crazy. It's going to suck. Well, what else we got? Notre Dame. I know it's crazy. It's gonna suck Well, what else we got?

Think of a story I You Ross you wrote something down. Well, I I think from a long time ago. I'm trying but I think I Didn't see anything. I was looking through it earlier. That's all right. Well, Michael. I will think of something get your spectacles back on One thing I have enjoyed. Oh, what's that? What have you enjoyed? I have enjoyed just like this is a particular type of like trash person around here that yeah, I feel safe around I agree. You know, it's like I recognize the The homeless here. Yeah, they're pretty bad. They're pretty wild. Yeah Better than the Austin. Oh here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's great. Here's the woods. We're in the woods. Yeah. I was gonna say they're better than the Austin. Oh, here. Yeah. Yeah. Here's great. Here's the woods. We're in the woods. Yeah. Perfect. Where white man should

be. Out in the woods safe talking about klits with his friends. Now I was I was gonna say on I did I actually had a wild ass week on Monday. I went to the Monday night football game. Chris was with me. The kiss man joined me to watch the birds. Watch the birds suffer a terrible loss. But they look good.

No, they didn't. Yeah, they did. The Falcons suck. That was bad. Well, they, yeah, whatever. They win that game nine out of 10 times. And AJ Brown coming back would have helped there. Regardless, I thought, you know, it's like we got the table read the next day.

You got to take it easy. And then we're leaving and they're like, do you want to meet Jason Kelsey? I was like, yes. We're talking to him. I'm like, why don't you come down to the bar? I always go to. He was like, yes. Now he I always go to he was like yes Now he was pretty sober because he was working I was hammered and we get to the bar and it's like let's chug beers you can chug faster

And I lost so then obviously I was like rematch Lost again worse. I got obliterated Wow. It was a bad dude. He throws him back. He can throw him back Yeah, and you were I was close. She throws him back. He can throw him back. Yeah, and you were close sheets I was right there. I'll get him next time How long did you guys hang out there? I don't know After the first chug I was kaput have you talked about the other bard story or bonner story which one? That's not good. So that was my Monday.

Tuesday, we did the table read. And I wasn't that bad. No. Not at all. I thought I was. It was entirely. I would never have known that you were hungover. And this is what I said to Chris.

I was like, he was perfectly pleasant. And Chris was like, that's the problem. He's low battery But then I was like, all right, we got slow down this week then the kneecap boys came to Philly I Had to meet up with them. You have to go. Yeah That became a night Yeah, so it was good and you know, what are those guys like are they kind of the same guy yeah, they're awesome They were exactly who'd hope they'd'd be. They were just fun. What do they have to say about Philly?

Were they? That's where, all right. So I'm Mr. Fucking, oh, I'll be all right. Well, I'm the second, any foreigner is like fucking, America, you guys fucking out of your minds, fat, the food's terrible. You guys, why don't you shoot up a fucking school? Yeah.

I was like, why don't you guys do anything ever school? Yeah, I was like How'd you guys do anything ever I'm mr. Fucking Ireland. Yeah, you realize you're an American the second. Yeah, Ireland is an American colony fucking right Our colony no, no, no, no, we send them goods and travel don't bring that shit. Oh, there are colony. No, no, no We send them goods and travel don't bring that up They've already got one oppressor We gotta get in no, we don't oppress we support need England out of there. Yeah out of the north. Yeah Did they get into that? I don't honestly gonna show my ass here. I don't really understand know what's going on none of us do

Yeah, the obnoxious okay. Yeah, I literally watched that movie hunger or whatever. Yeah, it's like this fucking British No, if you that's another one If you actually look into it, it's yes, no, you had the British are awful over there Yeah, and if you look into other conflicts throughout the globe the British not the British but just the British you look into it the people saying they're being oppressed sometimes they're actually being really really oppressed yeah by people of your heritage Let's get away from this. Let's get back to Steve and his clitoris talk.

Yeah. Well, it is funny you showing up to the writers room because it is like when you're not there, I'm very much like the cat's away. I heard you. I very much adopt your... He tries out all your moves on the rest of the writing staff. How did they like it? They're probably off court. They get worked, they get bodied. They've never seen it.

What are you doing over there? Nothing major, but just, you know, like, cutting people off. Shut up. It's fun. It's so much fun. It's fun. Why don't you try to give us a better idea? Stuff like that. That's fun. It's so much fun. It's fun. Why don't you try to give us a better idea stuff like that? That's good. I show up once a week I go are we done?

finish it I Walked into somebody's office that works there, and they were like you're not allowed in here I was like it's funny you bring that up cuz you're fired Pack up your shit Yeah power I'm not handling the power you'll fire one person through I'll probably never fire anyone. Yeah It's gotta be fun to fire somebody no it doesn't know what no I mean We could send this monster in there to fire. Yeah, you would yeah, he nodded to you. No, I buckle I but I've had fantasize. It's like the bracelet or the necklace

I'd fantasize about it, but in what way? Just I don't getting in there and actually doing it would be terrible But like I don't know what does the fantasy look just to have someone do that You're not allowed in here like fuck you you're gone self-righteous. Yes. Well, yes If they were serious, I would have actually fired them. I would have done everything I could. I don't think I have the authority to just fire anybody. So, how do you like that N.A. beer right there?

I do like it. I'm on Chris's side here. Yes. Can I get a sip of that? Yeah. You had one of these, I think. Yeah. I was just spitting it.

Yeah, just, it's good. I feel like one day you're gonna break and enjoy the and those aren't bad Yeah, yeah, these those taste like Heineken's. Yeah, Oprah. We were talking about Oprah. There we go. Now we get some topics She was great now is Oprah hot. Yes, I they're doctoring the photos She looks great. What is Oprah hot? Yes. They're doctoring the photos. Airbrushing the shit out of them. There's no way when she gets up in the morning

she's looking good. It just can't be. How old is Oprah? What? Do you think she is? No, you are right, but you know. I bet it's all. She's looking good in the...

You are right, but you know, I bet it's all she's looking good in I don't see it too much. There's a good picture. Yeah, how old is she? You know, it's weird I don't know anything about Oprah. I Don't either I know she gales your best friend she dated Stedman for the hells a gale 70 she looks incredible. That's what I was saying. Holy shit. But so does Dolly Parton. It's got to be the same. Dolly Parton.

Dolly Parton is like. By the way, this is the funniest podcast. Just be like, Oprah Winfrey. I don't think any of us know anything about her. I don't know. All three of us are like, I don't know anything. I don't know a single thing about Oprah, what she's done, her life, other than she has that show. I don't even know what makes her popular.

Like, I don't understand how she's any bigger than the people on The View. Like, what does she do? Well, she interviews people. She put together a show. She had Oprah. I'm not listening to any of that. I mean Did you never watch Oprah growing up? No, no, I was like Sally I watched I watched Watching those

Springer yeah, yeah Sally You springer is different Sprint that's not like yeah springer is its own thing. He was in the same rock block though. Damn, Winfrey rules. She was born into poverty in rural Mississippi to a single teenage mother. Nice. Yes. She stated that she was molested during her childhood

and she became pregnant at 14. What? Oh my goodness. Her son was born prematurely and died in infancy. This could all be like, that's how little I know about it. This could all be this is like Lord of the Rings Yeah, we made up Bro She was then sent to live with a man She calls her father Vernon Winfrey a barber in Nashville, Tennessee and landed a job in radio while still in high school

By 19, she was a co-anchor for the local evening news Barbara in Nashville, Tennessee and landed a job in radio while still in high school by 19 She was a co-anchor for the local evening news Well, she's a beast. She is a beast Look at me and a podcast Fantastic Oprah Winfrey at 19. Yeah, that's when radio was still big too Just always remember she was like on diets off diets Everybody was like fat bitch Disgusting fat bitch she was like the first black person anybody had ever seen

She was incredible. She was barely overweight. Yeah. I remember Jenny Craig. You remember that being a joke? That was a big joke to everybody. He's like, why don't you go on Jenny Craig Oprah, you fat bitch. And she, who's the doctor, you know, the bald guy gets a lot of, uh, Dr. Phil. I think he got his start on Oprah. I don't think she's lying. That checks out. I feel like Oprah is a yeah.

Her first name was spelled Orpa. O-R-P-A-H on her birth certificate. But people mispronounced it regularly and so Oprah stuck. Oh so that that's her. Harpo is a biblical, yeah. And that's her production company name, I think. Harpo, it's just Oprah backwards, I think. No. Wow, this is, who would've thought. Yeah. Is she still with Stedman? Is this a personal life section in Wikipedia?

Who's Sted? I'll take a look. Stedman? Yes, she is still a Stedman-gram. Good for them. Stedman's a beast, dude. What did Stedman do? How did he earn Oprah?

He's just always sort of in the background as her guy. He's just been a long term partner since 1986. And now they're worth three billion dollars. Good for her. Good for her. She did it. She did do it. Rural Mississippi did that. That's pretty good.

I was telling Cheena, I always had fantasies about being on Oprah. What would you say? Just be an interview as an actor. I'm not going to lie about it. I just did. That, you know, I'm saying, what did you imagine saying? You won't do interviews. You won't do interviews now. If Oprah was like Steven. But I'm a different person now.

You beat all the life out of me. You're crazy. There's no time that I'm talking, that I'm not like, what if Shane hears us? That's crazy. I'm so supportive. Of course you are. So when we put out tires,

they're gonna make us do like a press run. Yeah, and I'm I've turned down everything unless I can bring you it's I try to Bring you to how that would have fun. I try to everything out. Yeah, we get you on these It's just for me. It's not for you. I just need it'd be fun to make fun of them on like Jimmy Fallon This guy loves dirty talk and he knows which side of the clits Well, you gotta it's so funny to give you the worst version of your dreams Yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna get you on, I'm gonna pants you on Jimmy Fallon You're gonna be just sitting next to Jane on Oprah just getting bodied

Yeah But Oprah she gives you like, at least from what I remember I haven't't seen but she gives you such like good energy to you know Respond and makes you feel Does she yeah, I think she just had your girl come on. That's why we got Oprah on the brain Okay, she just did a sit-down with Gambala. How did it go? I think I'm obviously a disaster Kimball I probably would rate their present. You come into my house. You're gonna get shot She was like, if you come into my house, you're going to get shot. She said that. She was like, I'm a god owner. Oh, yeah. I have a good.

Sounds like she did a good job. Sounds like she did a great job. You're going to come into my house. You're going to get shot. That's gold, Jerry gold. You love Kimball. I do love Kimball. I'm so excited. She's in the race. Are you a hottie for Harris? No, I haven't looked into it at all, but that's the drum support. He's the drum support. There's no way

Gurby's votes for Kimballa. 100% is in on Kimballa. I don't listen. Make an endorsement. Yeah, this is your Oprah. The truth is, if you're afraid to make a mistake, you're not going to make a mistake. I don't listen Afraid to make a presidential endorsement

Yeah, I find I'd rather not comment on this issue yeah, so you're I was trying to openly Hottie Harris. Yeah, he's a white dude for her. Yeah. Yeah openly Yeah, which is fine. He's always been a lifelong Democrat. I have your title to your own opinions. Yeah, I support that It's just where I live. That's my zone. I walk around Come on that was my favorite. That was my favorite Trump quote recently. What was it? Kimbala. Oh, Kimbala. He's like, I called her Kimbala. I was just joking around, but they're acting like I mispronounced it. We like that nickname, Kimbala. Anyway, the Kami.

Comrade Harris is a disaster. He goes right back to his speech. It is so fun being around you for all of this. I love that his next line is comrade Harris is a disaster because he gets it whenever he gets sidetracked off the teleprompter. Yeah. Like he'll be reading a speech he'll be,

he does that when he's reading. He does it. He's just working at his shit. And then he breaks from the teleprompter and talks shit. Yeah. And then it was funny that the teleprompter line seemed to be comrade Harris. So he's like, Kambala, they thought I was saying it wrong when I said can Bala,

I was not anyway. Comrade Harris is a complete disaster. He does do a good job though of like even when he's riffing, looking like he's reading it off the teleprompter. I've watched a lot. I know I know he boys Yeah, you can tell when he frees when he was even read the line. We'll read the last line of teleprompter and repeat it He'll be like and the economy is a disaster and it is a disaster I know you hate compliments, but this really please don't all right fine. I

I want to hear your Kim Bala Harris impression. I don't even what how to give it a shot prompt me. How does she sound okay? Madame verse president madam verse president. What would you do to lower costs for everyday Americans? I don't even have her in my head right now. That's exactly pretty good That's exactly pretty good She broke the fourth wall that she's just a complete You better thank a union member. You better thank a union member. That's fun. I wish I was a little bit black so I could run for politics and just adopt a 1950s preacher

whenever I wanted. And have all the white people go, I like it. This is a good speech. Something about it. This is a good speech, something about it. It's so good. That was one of the most painful Obama videos is him saying what up to all the NBA guys. Did you ever see that?

It's pretty fun. Yeah, you're like, oh man. Dang. No, he gets a pass for that. I do that. Do you? Sometimes, yeah. Let me hear it. Everyone's like's now. No, just like sometimes you hit, you know, it's white guy, white guy, black guy. Yeah. You

go. So so that's not good. What else you got? Yeah you got? What would Matt say right now? We need to channel Matthew. Yeah, what would we? If I go into that, they give me the distance. Oh yeah. The wrist turn to keep you away from him. Like they're dapping you up out there. Creams.

You think he'd be talking about creams? Yes, no, that's more of a throwback, Matt. That's out of a while ago. This is new Matt. What is Matt onto right now? What do you think he's onto? He's we gotta be channeling some type of Vibration we haven't heard Just saw him recently a helium. Yeah, he's fantastic man. Yeah, I told him his hour right now

I think is I think it's the best. I think it's the best hour Incredibly his current hour, it's so good. And also just like such a fun person to be around. When we were in Los Angeles, it was, you are so much fun to be in a pool with. That's a compliment you have to take. I am blessed. It's like the right amount of relaxation and then like. I'll come over and grab you.

Yeah, yeah, a little wrestle, a little throw balls of faces. It's a ditty party. I'm gonna get you. relaxation and then like I'll come over and grab But yeah Matt also just such a like pleasure to be here. Yeah. Yeah Wonderful human being and I miss him dearly last time I talked to him He was trapped. He had the ring and he was tracking his His stress levels. Yes That would be a very legitimate way for me to start wearing jewelry No, it wouldn't. I it's not good. I don't like it on Matt. I don't like it on anyone I that is seemingly doing it for real research. I know allow it but I yeah, we want to see how stressed you are What I just like I agree. It's mostly it's not even a reading

Yeah, no, but he's like he's like he's also getting information about when he's operating at his highest level And I want some of that. What do you mean? I want to see if I ever get up there I know exactly when I'm at the best. Yeah for For me don't you want some data to confirm that I've run all the tests 10,000 shows a bunch of them on 10 beers a bunch of on no beers For is the magic number three or four Bud lights? Like a rocky for level fucking lab

Fuck I had 12 again. It was when I filmed the special. That was right. I mean, that was a real harsh reminder. I did the first show. The first show wasn't good and I did it totally sober. First show was great. Turns out the first show was most of the special,

but I wasn't excited about it. I wasn't even upset. I got off stage, I was like, give me a case of Bud Light. I know what I need to do for the second show. You limber up. You do need a little distance from reality in order to. Be able to do that? Yeah.

Tomorrow is going to be the most insane thing I've ever done. What's that? Tomorrow I'm doing Scotiabank Arena in Toronto. Oh my god. In the middle. So it's gonna be the whole arena. And do you not get panic attacks? I forgot about it until right now, but yes. Now I'm nervous again.

Fuck. Dude. Yeah. Cause he came back like he's seen a ghost, Chris. After your first. That was a scary show. Yeah, in Atlanta. Yeah.

What's it like? What do you see it? You see only the exits Yeah, the tunnels so it looks like everyone's leaving That's all you see is people coming out to go to the bathroom Yeah, there's thousands of people, but you get to see a hundred fifty people leave to go to the bathroom at least So the whole time it does look like a mass exodus and if there's an ever ever a quiet part of a bit you're just a sea of black and people walking out and dead silence from like God knows how many thousands of people yeah the Hawks yeah and I hadn't done stand up in two weeks and I like I just

hadn't been on the road with Shane in a while, so it was just like I just got air dropped into like, oh my God. It's a tough time to jump back in. Just walked right back up. Yeah. With my little like parlor bits. You're doing it. No, no, because he scared the shit out of me.

No, you're doing Philly. I don't want to ruin the surprise, but. I don't know about that. I need you to do it. Look at the camera and tell the people you're going to be there. You're not going to break their hearts. I'm going to be at the show. Backstage for sure. You're going to do it. Look at the camera and tell the people you're going to be there. You're not going to break their hearts. I'm going to be backstage with for sure.

I mean, you're going to be there. It's a terrifying stage. You either endorse you have to do or you or you're a hottie for your hair. If you don't do the show, you silently. If you don't do the show, you have to wear a bandana neck. If you don't do the show you have to wear a bandana necklaces. You have to wear a bandana bracelet. Just take out the one little thing and then just do a little... Three or five. Three?

Five. Three or three or five? Three is too fast. It's literally going on stage and saying hi and leaving. You can do five. We'll talk about it. He scared the bejesus out of me though with that, you know. You'll be fine.

The Philly show's gonna be way scarier. Yeah. That was a stage. This is in the middle again. Oh, in the middle, forget it. That way you did you at the middle. Shane, I'll cry. It'll just, it'll, it's.

All right. You're doing in the round in Wells Fargo? Yes, but here's what I need from you. Cause you're sitting here saying. You can probably see people a little bit better. Saying you're gonna have a panic attack. Yeah. That's also a plus for me. If you're sitting here saying. You can probably see people a little bit better. Saying you're going to have a panic attack. Yeah. That's also a plus for me.

If you, it'd be better than stand up. If you go out there and collapse, that's good. No, it's not good. It's like the Coliseum. You pay to see, watch a Christian, a good Christian die. No, we're still shooting that day. No, the people want you to go in there and die. And just have a full blown mental breakdown.

Yeah, it'd be awesome. I'd also like to see you try to go in the other direction and just be like, I would knock it out of the park. I can't do that to you. I do need that. Don't start that. I also need that energy. Don't start that.

Because you see, you see, we got a lot of first pitches this week. Ian Fidance threw one, Stavie Baby threw one. How'd they do? Both bounced it. They bounced it. Just saying, it's not as easy as it looks. It isn't.

Where did Fidance do the first pitch? Cleveland. Oh, nice. Yeah. Not that easy. I'm just saying. It's not that easy. We don't have to relitigate it.

We worked on your old man throw, dude. Just lob it in there. You can lob it in for a strike. That's part of the criticism Why'd you do this to me? Well, but to you yes, I was playful banter. It was playful banter Shane it was playful banter and then you know you know, I acknowledged that it was a strike. It's on a Tops cart. What type of sexual adventures have you been getting into lately? Oh, I got a good one. What type of porn have you been jacking off to? You know, honestly, the same...

It's, I think... You back on that gruel shit. You never left the gruel. No, I am off the gruel You're off the group because I learned information about it that kind of, you know, I think rule is present when ovulation is happening and that's not an indicator. Well, I thought it was like an indicator of how it turned on she was. Oh, okay. Yeah yeah but other than that

researched your way out of a retirement is the girl can't you no longer the king of the girl I don't think so I haven't been to our king of now our hot wife our hot wife? reddit hot wife oh chucked on no no no, the chucked on spin reddit hot wife? our hot wife that's reddit right? so it's hotwives getting

fucked by other cocks well it's mostly if you are looking for I want a porn right now on Reddit. You go there and it's just videos. It's mostly OnlyFans people just hawking.

Do you have to see them leave their husband or? He's filming. No, no. I've seen the Hot Wife shit. The guy's filming the whole time. Sometimes the guy comes in and sucks the cum out of his wife's pussy. What?

That's like the hardcore cuck porn. I don't watch that. Yeah, no, if you watch that you're fucking pedophile. Yes, no, first of all. Second of all. That's like the hardcore cock porn. I don't watch that. Yeah. No, if you watch that, you're fucking pedophile. Yes. No, first of all. Second of all. It's disgusting. Listen, it's not the hot white fetish.

Time out. I don't have a hot white fetish. It's just an easy access to on-read, if you're looking for something on-read. OK, so that's just your page you like. Yeah. That's not a fetish. That's correct.

But what's the thing you like when you get in there? What's your favorite? It's no different from like regular, you know. You're just regular now. I thought you were a freak bull. I am a freak bull, but it's not, but never in like a, you know, sometimes you just come back to the basics. I've been stuck on the basics.

Yeah. My basics are probably. I don't like deviating from the basics. No, no. I feel like a bad person. Yeah. That's when I experienced some shame. If I've gone, if I've gone to, if I'm watching like a gangbang. Yeah. And I go, what have I become here? Then you roll over. Yeah. Don't worry. I like them. Yeah.

Occasionally. But as soon as you jizz, you go, what the fuck was that? You know, I went through, like I go through phases. Yeah, I know. That's what I want to talk about. Oh, I want to hear about some phases. You ever break through? Glory hole like I go through phases. Yeah, I know. That's what I want to talk about. Oh. I want to hear about some phases. You ever break through? Glory hole? What? Glory hole, yeah.

That's regular stuff. That's a regular phase. Yeah, we've all gone through the glory hole. Yeah, that's a regular phase. I know I'm making fun of you, but. Oh, there was a subrider. I think I've talked about it. I apologize for all the.

That's all right. It's because you're drinking that bullshit. Geez Louise. There was a subrider for a while. It is now abandoned or shut down or whatever. I think I talked to you about it's our unexpected sex. It's not, it's not like a rapier or anything like that, but it's, it would be like a outer course. So like the, the object was like only a hand job. Yeah, yes. Yes.

Yeah, I never turned on that, you know, slips it in a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Exciting stuff. It's so exciting. You'd be pulling your little pod to this. Yeah.

I love it. If that were a porn category. I can't say that. And you find a good one. Like, cause it's the psychological thriller of the porn world. Yeah. Yes. And like every time I see something like that pop up on Reddit, it's the psychological thriller of the porn world yeah yes and and

like every time I see something like that pop up on reddit it's it's a little bit but like I'm probably like top two percent in the world know what those videos are out there you know anytime someone's like look at this I'm like yeah yeah you know like I got a digital library anyway I didn't know you were this horny. Well, no, I'm not. But I mean, you know, for a while I didn't ever go over. Yeah. So, but yeah, that would still be like my favorite if you find a good one. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do when you find a good one? You cherish it. Do you worship it for like a week?

No, no worship. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, should I give one to the listeners? Should I give you one? It sucks when you get tired of listeners. Yeah. Now, I don't want to get castigated. Some of these are like obviously, you know, planned. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like I'm not. But there's an elevator one. It's like hot blonde elevator. Tees. Fuck is what I mistake. It's like hot blonde elevator tease fuck is what I Be a mistake To be sexual yeah Don't sex shame Steve. Yeah, he's allowed to be sexual. We're not so what do you type in? Well blonde elevator tease fuck. Yeah, probably something like that

Hell yeah, you ever search that and it's not there and you go no Shit, what was I jacking? Shit they took it down It was her name. Yep. Yeah. Yep. I actually just It's her name. Yep. Yeah. Yep. I actually just Had a scare. Yeah, what happened? I was trying to find a particular because it the other Your spectacles on now. I also have to ask you have a device that holds your phone up about You have phone device that goes, right? You know, it's like a whole thing. No, it hangs over the other day. Yeah. Yeah. Over the top of his bed. So we can lay down and watch

his phone golf. Yeah. Yeah. To scroll and yeah. Just like watch golf hurting your shoulders. Do you talk into it to go at Siri? Find blonde elevators. Surprise. No, Paul. It is funny. Literally everyone in our apartment like broke their shoulder over COVID because we didn't have that. Right. Everyone's left shoulder got like a pinch. Yeah. That's fucking couch.

Yeah. And just laying on your side with your phone. Should we not be talking to him? Because I can talk about it. Yeah. I need one more from you. There's way worse out there already. I was doing a pretty intense. Come on. I had some about it. Yeah. Yeah. I need one more from you. There's way worse out here already I was doing a pretty intense Kamala Harris impression a minute ago. Yeah, she's beautiful

Anyway, no, it's not a porn tightness Come twice yeah, we're yes Uh, come twice. Yeah. Where? Yeah. There's no shame in this. That's what got me last night. Yeah. And that's not, I was looking for this work with us. Jacking off to come twice and then I'm shaking your hand in the mind time. What about, you know, and then it was like, I found the jet ski. I just talked to you.

I was like, why did you relax? I'm kidding no no well I was on the phone with you while I was searching that No, when were we on if we were on the phone a half time to the just came I was around it was around that but you know I was on the delay You are a delay But I said so I couldn't remember her name, the ladies, what? Middle of the conversation, I think Aaron Rodgers had a seven yard run. He was like, oh, he looked great. He did look great.

If he's listening to this, he might be listening. You're doing great. Yeah, Aaron Rodgers rules. Oh my God, it's so much fun. Aaron Rodgers rules. He is. Oh my God. So much fun. I'm, he might be listening. It is really fun watching you play. It's so fun. I feel like a crazy person. No, you get to talk to him. Go ahead. You're on with Aaron Rodgers.

And you know, it's something about it. It is so much fun. Well, I already said it. Yeah. We were so excited to watch you keep going. Best of luck to you. After In-Between Come twice. You're back to watch. Does he look, but it was also something it's like him being on the jets to really does put in stark contrast, like how much better he is than any other

quarterback they've ever sniffed. It's like it's fun watching throw the pig skin. It's unbelievable laser Cuz that was like their get their previous game where they like changed it up It was like that West Coast and when that thing just started coming out. It was like oh, it's crazy daddy's home You know I regret that Need that in the intro daddy's home. That's the name of the episode But but nothing's changed you're the same guy as you were the last time you're on the pot a little bit Yeah, how have you been? How was success gone to your head? Now you it well the country club. Yeah

Oh, you joined a country. You can't get yeah. Yeah No, no no why not because they everybody likes you and they like you yeah, they like me a lot They're always like shade coming But everybody there is so nice I guess but I was searching for Come to us. I twice. A starlet. A starlet. Yeah, yeah.

Starlet. Just a sport actress. Starlet. But I think that... Starlet. Well, I couldn't remember. Right. My search was broad.

And you're sitting there with those glasses. Yeah. With those glasses, rope around the back of your head going, what was the name of that starlet? What was the name of that starlet? What was the name of that starlet? Glasses at your nose? Are you at a desktop or are you using your cell phone? All right.

Over the sink, that hasn't changed. Over the sink, cell phone. Searching for a starlet over the sink. Over the, I forget how tall you guys are. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter about height on that. That's nuts. No, everything's right there.

I've never gone into the sink. Those slugs must be insane. They're not. There's not a lot coming out. You just wring some down, that slugs it up. You know. Break them up. Ooh.

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. It's all under your own shame. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm doing this. It's fucked up. No, I'm sorry. Look, I have no shame about. Yeah, yeah you're fine everybody stirs their own

jizz into their sink evil witch you know the toilet paper what have you just wipe it up I have sir wipe me but I don't want to get that I don't get out of the microphone because of the whole you can it does sometimes the sink clogs but I don't know if it's not Shane I don't know if it's ever six clogged generally but you know it's like a reason it's gonna be a ball of hair and jizz I'm not going down just yeah Drano it anyway I. You don't put that on the bottle The drain-o bottle I was I really Don't put that on the pie You're an open book this is fine you're good guys sunsetting here in the woods. Yeah

Talking about clogging sinks Almost an hour 55 close to an hour. That's great. Yeah It is great It's a cool jacket. Thanks. Brian six loves it. I told you that before He immediately accused me. He pressure tests anything what? The more I saw all that you're doing now a big big famous guy That's changed it's I do it still it still worms around in the back of your head. You're like, am I doing this because I'm?

You're popping that collar a little. Little Top Gun. I do like the collar pops. I know you do. You look good in the golf outfits too. Thank you. I love golf wear. You love golf now.

I do. That's something that's changed. You've become a much more avid golfer. I have. I went through a phase in. You've become a much more avid golfer. I have. I went through a phase in high school where I was just absolutely obsessed with it and then went to city schools and did comedy. So I didn't play.

And then through this, I've had the opportunity financially to do golf. Golf constantly. When we went to Topgolf, him and McKeever shocked me. Yeah, nice. They're good at golf. I got to play with Francis. Francis is good. He's great. Yeah. And unbelievable company. Yeah. I love you. Francis. Francis rules. Yeah. Yeah. Him.

I would have never guessed that you could be good at golf. You're great. Yeah. You're also, McKeever might have the ugliest swing I've ever seen. Very fluid. It's not ugly. It's like that should not work. Right. He swings like a cartoon character. Yeah. It's like Jim Fury kind of thing. It's crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I went after telling everybody let's go to Topgolf for a week and literally couldn't hit the ball. I can't. I can't. I was over it by a foot every swing. And then there was like the women had sort of congregated to like one of the stalls, the top golf stalls,

and they were all like so supportive and cheering. And I remember being like, I gotta hit one in front of them. And so I went there and I hit one and they were all like chanting my name and I was like, shut up. And then you just see Shane's head popped out from behind the door. And then I went in front of all the women and barely hit the ball and they all fake cheered. One of the girls that I didn't even know was going to feel this way. It was like, we have to clap. It's our boss. I was like, Oh, yeah. I was going to pay for this. I can't make contact. I can't. He'll get you there. You are a natural athlete.

Chris throws a football incredibly. Yeah, Chris is very athletic. And you are insane. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. I can't do anything.

I can't do anything. I can't do anything. The only thing I can do is stand in people's way. Yeah, you're lying. You're lying. You're lying. You're lying. Sneaky, sneaky athlete.

I'm sorry, can I talk to you? No, no, yeah, of course. I watched like D D line tutorials on how to like, you know, yeah, swim. Yeah. And rip, swim, rip. Apparently like leg and arm stay attached. Like you got string. Anyway, I tried to do that on him. He went like half speed half the time in the office. There's nothing going on, so I'll be pass blocking Stephen. Yeah In between come twice YouTube D line And tried out his swim technique when we got to the office and he went slightly above 50% it was terrified

Yeah, it's cool Cuz I just jammed it I didn't even have a chance it happened before I even got and think about it. I was terrible Yeah in college, but you were there were guys that were Those guys would get you Yeah, Johnny Rubiton in Atlanta. You saw that boy dancing. Oh, yes. He was good Yeah, dude Yeah. Johnny Rubitone in Atlanta. You saw that boy dancing. Oh yes. He was good. Yeah. Dude. One of my friends from Elon came to Atlanta for the show and then we went out and got drunk and he was dancing around. It was, it was very funny. Yeah. Do like a lineman

Olympics. He was really good at dancing. It was hilarious. So she, yeah, they're sort of, they're all, you've said this and it's cost me a lot. It's like, Shane's a good dancer. Now people are like dance and we want to see you dance. I'll never dance. Well, yeah, because you practice. I've never practiced. You fucking practice moves. I do practice.

You practice moves. Yeah, there's another one. We haven't had you on a while. Can you please just right here show the people a little MJ for us? No, no, no. It's absolutely. Please, please, please. No, no, no.

And I, no, no, no. All right. We'll call you out. I'll get up and I'll do that. Oh, thank you. Yeah. At the end. Nice. No, no, no. And I, no, no, no. All right. We'll call you out. I'll get up and I'll do that. Oh, thank you. Yeah, at the end. Nice, I wasn't gonna.

But, and there's no, I'm just gonna break something. We'll just move the chair and you can hit a nice MJ right there. Okay. Um. Okay. I was saying, oh yeah. The, because, you know, I got terrible vision,

just generally. It's, but when I lived in New York, so I say that because, like, when I go to a sporting event, you don't see clearly what's happening. Yeah. So I, when I was living in, You're just responding to sound. Yeah, it's just like kind of fuzzy.

Go! And I went down to the, I guess it was like the East River. Oh, I'm sorry, it's like going to a baseball game with Beezer. Yeah. You can't see to the I guess was like the East River. It's like going to a baseball game with Beezer. Yeah, he can't see shit. I guess every single time the ball goes off the bat, he's like, oh, pop fly. Infield flies. I had the height though.

I think you were I remember being at the game. Be like, I saw that was the first home run. I actually saw it when I was right in front of us. Yeah, that was cool. It was cool. It was right in front of us? Yeah, yeah. That was cool. It was cool, it was right in the foul pole. It was awesome. But Beezer hasn't gotten new glasses in 12 years, probably.

Beezer says, oh man. Beezer was with the kneecap boys, he had a good time. Yeah, he was off the raw. I go down to the East River, they had a track and I'm like jogging. And then I guess like one of the college's track teams was set up on the inner track. And somebody got up to full speed

and was like one lane over blowing past me. And it was the first time, I apologize if I told this from the podcast, where it was the first time I was just like, whoa! Like had that feeling of like watching a human high level athletic performance. It's fucking awesome. Yeah.

It's like somebody fast fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Body move. Somebody sprint like an actual track runner. Yeah, that'd be crazy being on the track. My slow ass trying to run. Yeah, it'd be comical. You like move with the wind when they go by. Yeah, I'd be mad at them.

Yeah, they ran by. Dangerous. Fuck is that car going fast? Slow down. Fucking piece of shit. I'd be mad at them. Yeah, they ran by dangerous Do we do it we did do we did it I really appreciate it cuz I You appreciate it. We appreciate everything that you've done for us. I need Matthew, but I hope the listeners can understand we're working on tires. Yeah. And I'm trying. You're busy in a way that you're always like. I'm trying my best.

Yeah. But it is, your schedule is utterly insane. To help all your friends. But then I fuck around and do a Monday night football and a concert during the week. I could have, you know. I know, but you got to be seen. What's the point? I do not need to be seen. What's the point? Well, the point would I could have, you know. I know, but you gotta be seen. What's the point?

I do not need to be seen. What's the point? You gotta be out there in the world. You gotta do something for yourself every once in a while. Exactly. I do a lot for myself. I've been found so. You gotta take a break.

All right, shut up. There's no reason to make money if you can't do the things you're doing and get hair. I agree with the hair. I'm gonna get the hair. I'm probably gonna be too lazy. I'm gonna be too lazy to get the hair yeah I'm gonna get the hair I'm probably gonna be so I'm probably gonna be too lazy I'm gonna be too lazy to get the hair dude I'm gonna be too late whoever you go to I'm going to I want in on it

season three I look like I'm weird. Why don't you just fill me in a little bit? I was thinking about because it's gone dude, and it's a Season three season two is gonna be I'm gonna be a bald motherfucker this year. Yeah, I know. What can you do? It's so funny. It is what it is. Normally you watch a cast like age over like 10. See, all of us are going to get young as shit. You're getting a beard. I know what you want. I can't. I even tried to get you an accident on my face. I know that's how you fix your hair.

Right. Yeah. He was. Did you know that he was trying to grow a beard so he's putting shit on his face. And it was over covid. And I was like, well, I might as well put it on my scalp, too. And minoxidil and propisha is like how I got a little bit back. He's got a wig now. Yeah, yeah. It does look good.

Yeah. You got a ton back. I did get a ton back. Yeah. That was gone. It was. And you were hanging on. I was going to pull you aside.

I was getting close. I was going to be like, all right, dude, we got to pull the plug on this. Yeah. You were throwing some powder in there. Powder in there, looking crazy, getting crushed in the comments. We can't do the powder. The powder's bad.

I didn't even know that existed. This was like eight years ago. And we were at a party, and my friend started sweating. And I just noticed like shit coming down the side of his face. And I was like, oh no. And we all noticed his powder. We knew he had battering You just never brought it up to him because it was it would be mean But then he was dripping powder down the side of his face

We had to go bro, brother. Just get rid of it. Yeah Well We've done it. We had that's a good episode, let's just top it off with a little Gerbys, send them off. Man of my word and... Hit them with a little MJ. The boys have, the dogs have missed you. There's the, it's terrible.

Every day of my life I get a message, where's Gerbys? That's incredibly sweet. He made me do this, it like, we went out to like a business dinner. Was it Netflix? Yes, and like high powerful agents in the industry, you're like, do an

MJ dance right here. It's good. What am I gonna, how can I deny you? Yes. Are you alright? Yeah, I'm fine. Cause I'm gonna break something. No, you're not gonna break if you break something that'll help. Alright, here we go. I'm gonna get that mic out of your way. Oh, there you go. I saw going to get that mic out of your way. Oh, there you go. Oh!

I lost my mic. I saw it. I saw it. I lost my mic. Here it comes. You want to film? It's like. Ew.

Oh, ew. We saw it. Beautiful. You grab your penis. All right, thank you. We miss you, Matt. God bless you.