Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 519 - Percs and Caicos (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Nate @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Yooooo. We back. Cusky's fresh off Caicos and Shang's workin on Tires so we got me and Nate this ep. Dear god I hope you guys enjoy it. Sorry for the brevity I gotta go to skunk fest. Please enjoy. God bless. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/MSSP and get on your way to being your best self. Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code DRENCHED at checkout - just pay $5 shipping. That’s bluechew.com/, promo code DRENCHED to receive your first month FREE. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched for a first deposit match up to $100

Hey, we're here guys. What's going on? Welcome to my Ponzi scheme of a podcast I'm gonna start doing coaching coaching multi-level coaching $25,000. Yeah, dude, you mean $25,000. I'll tell you how to build a million If I could be any of them people I'd be a relationship coach but just I just feel like I got it twin flame expert Yeah, I think I could do it. Just like simple advice. Just. I do come to you when I need advice. I come to both of you when I need advice. Isn't that actually good?

I be feeling like it's good and then I be like, ah, shit ain't gonna work. No, yours is pretty good. Okay. You're good at keeping people off of simp mode. Yeah, that's what I try. You just, Mace's advice is always just don't answer her for like four days. It works. It always works. It works. Yeah, sim's what I try. You just as nice as best as always, just don't answer her for like four days.

It works. It always works. It works. Yeah, yeah. Andy will tell this story a bunch when he first met his wife, when they were first dating, he was telling me a story about her like always,

and he said it on our podcast, it's ain't like a secret thing or anything, is she would do this thing where she would like storm out his house, and then he'd go out there after her and then he'd be like, come on baby, don't leave out blah, and bring her back in. And then one time he was telling me that, I was like, let her go next time. And she left and she drove and he said like five minutes later he gets a call from her

just like, why didn't you come back for me? And it was like, he said it was like a turning point. Yeah. Flip the switch. Flip the switch flip the switch I've seen the suitcase a couple times myself My last of those wheels you're like yeah Yeah, that's a that is the best it's weird how like that kind of stuff can happen then two days later

It's like what's up, dude? Yeah, that was house Wow It's amazing how hard it is to just like keep that just two people in one house and without like fucking freaking out Especially when you have a little bit of space like you can you can get away like you have a second bedroom or whatever You have somewhere else to go. It's feels weird though. Do you ever hit the second bedroom? You're late. Yeah, you just lay there. It's kind of like she'll come me eventually. I do actually I do the girl thing where I'm like, she'll come get me Not as comfortable as my bed where is she I'm going in my room You like girl there like five days in our in the opposite what it was kind of long just am yeah, it's kind of boss Yeah, and I we didn't speak and I was like she spoke first

I was whole I did help hold I was like I can't speak because I'm paranoid in my head I was like if I speak first it's over cuz of me and there's like I don't want to give her any I like a vinyasa silent retreat. Yeah, it was like Just walking you know in the kitchen ever. It's called That's a sick move you ever live with an ex Yeah, but like when it's over, but you got to still share the house Kind of it was cuz of Berlin Wall situation. That sounds great house it kinda it was cuz Berlin wall situation that sounds great it was when I was real young she was this lady was like living with her mom like her

parents like kind of kicked her out the crib she was just staying with me in my parents house and then we broke up and it was like you became brother and sister it was only like three two more weeks of it cuz you still else is crazy law. I've done it. It's fucking hell Were you still did you still like have sex at all? I don't think so. I don't think so I honestly I don't remember I think I blacked out the memories of it. Yeah, I've done it multiple times She's way. It's like literally the worst living You wake up and you're like He's like get out of the room as fast as you can that's the thing too. I'm not sleeping on a couch

I refuse. Yeah, I were fucking I refuse. I'm sleeping in my fucking bed. It's like I like my bed It's a comfortable bed. He still still lay like head to head he flip it old school Just a resentment 69 No Potonic 69 No Man, it's really tough though Cuz if you think about how hard it is for two people to like get along very well over a long period of time Like what hope is there for the world? Yeah Like if we ever decide or world peace

It seems like I mean, I may be able to become like better equipped to do that But it seems pretty a pretty tough thing It's not I don't think it's possible because even if they were like if like all the nations were like we've actually agreed We're all gonna stop fighting each other and agree to cooperate I'd still be like kind of pissed and be like fuck yeah, fuck. I don't feel like fucking way I told you to stop fucking Told you stop fucking by the news. Oh, yes Specifically still with you you leave no matter. I might drop

Dropping a nuke on my own house It is fun though over the years something it is like a there is something too late I can't explain it, but there's something to like living with a woman for a long period of time Yeah we're like there is I mean there's stuff it like just like pull stuff out of your brain and just like parts of your Character and it does start to like, It's like water just running over a stone. Eventually, I think dudes, I fought it for the longest time. Yeah. But I think eventually you just become one of those like,

Yep, she's the boss. Yeah. Happy wife, happy life. Happy wife, happy wife, yep. It's like, I was like, I'll never give into that. Yeah. I've been kind of like, dude, that's too much, bro. You're giving her the pants. I might just white knight simp it for the rest of my life.

It's just ultimate simp. When the dude finally taps out and he's like, yup, just gotta keep her happy. She's the boss and I have my little space I carved out. I don't think I've ever in my life seen the opposite at an old age. Like a dude who's like, I still run the show. Shut the fuck up. I've never seen the old, it old age like a dude who's like I still run the show Or you have to deep state deep true you have to just become deep state within the household

Show to your sender your shit to the algorithms the same We all want to watch the fucking why economic sabotage. I've written that before Like I'll fucking quit doing all this shit. Do you don't go back to do it? You'll see how you like that Fucking quit this shit right now. Did I go back to being a laborer? Shit right now. Did I go back to being a laborer? 33 bucks an hour dude, it's not now probably down to a house But I have to move up back up and old yes to guy I might do that fantasize about picking up picking up the broom I'm multiple occasions. I'm gonna sweep dust on the construction site for fucking

I couldn't do it here though. I can't I don't think I was built for back home here I would hear you gotta dress like a fucking fallout character a hat face mask and like long sleeves I don't I've seen dudes like in the long sleeves. That's like the new that's a new swag now That is the new sweat just picture a dude just like you ever played a game you have all the different armor That's what every landscape around here looks like It's like the burn. It's full like, it's like, yeah exactly. Sun poisoning.

Dude I'm... Sunblock can't even stop it. You think I, I, it's a miracle I didn't get sun poisoning out in Turks and Cakes. I know, I'm very curious about Quake, cause... You just came back from? Yeah, it was the, it was sick as fuck. I remember I got burnt to hell when I was like, a youngin' there. Bro, I don't know how I didn't, but it's like, I think honestly... It's because it had melanin. I'm getting melanated. I think I'm in like a young in there, bro. I don't know how I didn't but it's like I think I was a head melanoma

Like a melanated force field There's no way I'm not getting cooked I also use black lady sunscreen. Oh, what's the difference? Well, cuz if it like the the new stuff That's like zinc it for the honkeys. It just makes our face look like Braveheart. Basically. It's just here There's all white doesn't soak in that well Oh, so they have like the black lady sunscreen where it just kind of like disappears on your face Yeah, you don't get hung up with that and also dude Brittany was uh, I was like what's in that shit Like what's the ingredients? I'm like big on like reading it

Like what is that and like what's in that stuff and she she's like what he it's probably all the same good stuff You have in yours. So you really think they put the bad stuff in black sounds me. I was like Have you learned nothing You should be reading this stuff it's black lady sunscreen If like have you learned nothing from history like of course her to put the worst Yeah, I might have to get a test. I might get tested. Yeah, you might need it. I might have called the bug from my black lady sense man. I mean, it was just crazy.

She got mad at me. She was like, you really think that? And I was like, it's a possibility. I 100% think things that are geared specifically towards black. Like, I don't use Cash App because I'm like, I'm gonna do something with my money if I use Cash App. I stopped like My money if I use cash No black in my eyes, I'm like no this is this is this is that this can't be possibly good

Yeah, like things that are our thing. Yeah, dude, you know what it's speaking of a Well kind of speaking of that I saw a dude I saw that Turks and Caicos and I saw a bartender rocking Yeezy's and Saw a dude I saw that Turks and Caicos and I saw a bartender rocking Yeezy's and he was like Like a younger kid was there and it was like it was like the I saw a lot of this like the prototypical Horny teenage son at the resort like maybe with their parents But you just see this dude just like you're like jacked like 18 year old kids like yeah, dude. I can finally drink This is sick. He was chatted the bartenders like I love sneakers, too Fuck dude, I forget when they're like going back and forth and the bartender was kind of justifying his yeezy's which is my favorite thing When people wear them they're like they're really comfortable man. These are real comfortable shoes

Yeah, I've been there. I go that Kanye. Here's here's my whole point Kanye is a fashion designer It wasn't that crazy to say he loved Hitler as a fashion designer If you think about it every great fashion designer has to say one Unhinged thing Tommy Hilfiger, you go black people wear my stuff. Yeah, you go boss Oh, you know he loved the Nazis the dude from Lululemon nuts Oh, yeah, that's one fat ladies wearing his stuff and also said he named it because when he goes to Asia He like likes to watch people try to pronounce Lululemon. He's not making laugh He might be the funniest guy

He's too funny That's that's kind of on ball That's like on um it's kind of on brand for like fashion geniuses to be like just for no reason to say the craziest thing Wasn't Coco Chanel getting her like cheeks clapped by Nazis regularly. That's right. Yeah, no Chanel. Yeah, and let him started Well, she was like just a whore for the Nazis Yeah, what yeah, where was she from? I don't know Somewhere over there. Yeah, not sure yeah, I thought my mom fight Italy That makes sense damn, dude. She was getting crushed by the Nazis. Yeah, I've surprised all the time

Yeah, yeah, she was she was okay. I'm peace for sure. She was a little slam piece for sure. She was fucking with Hans Gunther von Dinklage. Yeah, I mean dude, it's crazy how much fashionistas love the Nazis. They did have the swag though. I mean, you know what I mean. Exactly, it's 1910. You're like, damn, here's some alt-right bad boys. Trust me, I get it.

It's just all meth fucking this shit out to you ladies true They probably invented the pink cocaine. Yeah, maybe you see dude, but yeah, so I mean I was in Turks and Caicos somehow my lips got fucking scorched I'd wake up in the morning and my lips felt like they're like a water balloon about the break They were just it was crazy. So I saw water in my ear do we go down? Just got back with this. Yeah, Beth like it is you Oh, dude, it's dude. It's actually it was very sick. It's one of those places. Unfortunately, that doesn't produce Like anything really like the Dominican Republic has to import everything which kind of sucks and you go to an island you want the fruit Yeah, they would joke about it though. They'd be like fresh from Walmart

They would joke about it though. They'd be like fresh from Walmart Do we want it we went out snorkeling which I think might be my new passion. I think I love snorkeling now I'm too scared to snorkel. I do this is gonna fuck you up Did you go like deep or you were still like we snore not stupid or snorkeling you can go under Like you know you just fucking hold the thing You know yeah, I say other thing I'll say is you stick your tongue in the hole Blocking you plug the hole And then you can go down and you come up and just go And then it just goes in the water flies on the top my dad show me how to do that when I was little

I was so stoked to like show my Dude, we go on a boat and we went snorkeling and that right before we jump in I've my Chloe They have a little life jackets, so I jump in the guy was like oh, yeah There's some baby sharks in there, and I'm like sick thinking there's gonna be like these teeny tiny baby sharks Yeah, do they get in the water. There's like five it. I'm not exaggerating. There was like five and a half foot sharks Swimming around they were like probably 50 60 feet away Yeah, fuck that though But then like they started coming over and like I'm like floating on the surface and the water is probably 40 feet deep at one point

They were right underneath me. I'm looking down. I'm like dude. I like spaz and like put the kids out of the water He's like oh, man. You'll be fine. Just don't touch him Like dude, I don't want to fucking come anywhere Yeah, I would not go in the water. I have a little teeny I like little kids I'm like Dude the fucking fear was like so intense because you're in there and there was like one there one there one there And I'm just kind of looking around like where's that motherfucker and they start kind of like coming near you And it's like not again. I'm not stealing shark valor, but they would come closer

Yeah, I wouldn't even go close to that water Well, I pulled them out I put them out and then I like kind of like chilled for a second went back in and kind of investigate it and then They started to go away, so I brought them back in they could like see the sharks from afar But I was kind of like bro like what are you doing? Yeah? I would never do that that sounds like some shit that has accidents constantly do this guy was like oh, dude I'm telling you have nothing to worry about blah blah blah, and I was like all right man And then like later that night the snorkeling was sick, and we went to a Gwana Island, dude

I mean the most iguanas I've ever seen I got charged by two of what they charge you do While they could they like run up to you and buck at you. It's crazy. What happens if you stay in ground? I said my ground. Yeah, I just believe it dude. They stop they stop. They don't run away They just look at you like what the fuck you want He caught I had a couple had a couple standoffs with iguanas Yeah, but yeah, dude It was and then later that night as we get back from all that and we went to like an outdoor like You know when they excel shit like purses and like got a big-ass conch shell and how to make the conch noise now

It's harder than you think dude. That's the one of you always see in like the movie Yeah, so I we bought one of those off a guy and the dude was like yeah missing arm And he goes check this out each lift up his shirt huge shark bite scar and a missing arm I'm like this motherfucker this guy earlier today. I was like I don't worry about it. There's other guys like I lost my arm Huge fucking literally a bite mark in his body. It's crazy This guy could have got my fucking cheering eating up in the ocean I wonder if you like because uh you too scared is it like a thing word over there They just like another shark bite sweep it under the rug like if you just kind of I don't know man

It's like and I get what the guy was saying he was like he knows he's like he scuba dives He does all the shit. He's like all they they won't bother you, so I'm guessing he's like kind of right Yeah, but also it's like bro. They were like that's the closest Imagine if a shark was 40 feet beneath you and you just watched it swimming around it dude It was sizable dude. Yeah, no That's and if that's a baby. It's like how big do the parents get he was saying they get like 13 feet I'm like well are they anywhere near? Yeah? God, what are we doing?

Let me see some fish You know fishy in the fish snorkeling is nice I did a cruise in mek and it's stopped in Mexico for like five hours like how cruises do and we got to snorkel and just see like colorful fish and Asses underwater just look a little bit more around. It was very a nice combo. He just look crazy Ever look at me you ever been naked in a pool when you look down at your dick in a pool looks crazy It's crazy I've never had like a pool situation where I could get naked. I've got naked in a pool

Glance down check out your burger Like one of those things on the reefs dude total funhouse mirror. It looks like you have a dog dick you look down Fuck is that? You're in the pool like a baby naked you're like yeah, so freeing you look down You're like yeah, it's so freeing you look down like Holy shit She's gotta take a peek at this thing we did do there there at the place They had a they like a gym and then outside of it. They like an outdoor Hot tub and a cold plunge and that was very sick taking your wife into a cold plunge. It's so funny watching them like

Then I was in my boxers. I had my like my workout shorts I just like got in my my little skibby my little sheath skibbies I was like I was like getting into the cat out of the cold tub. I was like yo grab me a towel Just get in the hot tub. I was like yeah, give me a towel I tout up and then I got out of the hot tub. It was just presenting dude. I got a hot tub and stand there like yeah What a fucking town Because we had a nice little moment. We're written in the coal tub. I'm like dude. That was so cool You do the coal tub. I didn't think you'd do it and we're in a hot tub a little you know a little cuddling

Instantly became so in gorge We're like outside so I get out I'm like yeah, I'm gonna chill out here. It's a fucking talent now I was like my man. What are you weird? That was my body. That's my that's my favorite my body my taking my that was but dude I came out a cold one I was like yo, bro. Hi, dude. Don't look at me. Hi to me I've said it before but that is the worst when you're fighting with your baby, and you're naked And you're all shriveled up. You know walk by or like you know you're wrong I Never will you've walked out tiness mid fight? Yeah, man. Yes, or like post fight I walk into the wasteland dude, and that is so I can walk out out of the shower tiness and be like

You know you're fucking wrong about that Down I'm like fuck. Yeah, I guess you can't pivot back to shower cuz then you looks like you're like being a cat my shower I'll tell exactly like you can't be like Look like you he's hired his t-shirt because of what we just Exactly. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, you got it. You got a sir. Yeah It's also baiting I'm baiting I'm like say something Say something about my t-shirt. I fucking dare you That's it. That's over dude is a baby hits you with some sort of tiniest comment

It's a wrap blow for blow actually I've gotten crushed before I've got like I've literally I've come out of the shower and have her be like oh my god I'm like yo, bro. Shut the fuck Nothing cute about this shit. You're sitting in that way where it's like not There's like it's like in a little bit like you know what I mean Oh, yeah, I know it's just like you see them glance at it. You just like why do we were having a good conversation? You rail cuz you fuck it. I know you looked Me and when me and Brittany DiMali together I

It's that shit gave me like Adderall t, and we were having like the nicest beautiful heart to heart And then like I got up with Craziest dude it was it was you know you have bowling pin dick in the shower Like it fucking the hot water freaks it out. It's like fat up top. I had a micro bowling pin teen it was Weird we both had a good chuckle about it, but I was like bro. This is This is bad. I might go to school. And just do Molly and just show them. Just be like, you guys wanna fucking take Molly?

I fucking love you kids so much. Do you want your fucking kids to look at me? I feel so fucking close to you. Do you want your fucking kids to look at me like this? Do you want to fucking take Molly, alright? You wanna love your wife more than ever and have the tiniest penis in the world? For four hours? You think that's cool, kids?

Look at this. I'm fucking sweating my ass off doing doing Molly and giving like a presentation to kids So much I don't want you guys walk around tiny bowling pin penises I've never done mine doesn't make you want to touch it though. Yeah, it does it like So you gotta have somebody to keep you from getting too close to your kids keep you even though it's You don't want to be like I Exactly yeah, it'd be nothing sexual. Yeah, you might be like you little fucking angel. Yeah, we went to the after In the moment you see the VC the did even your innocence is beautiful Touch the side of the I'd have a bungee. I'd be like a kid on a leash. I would get like

Tied down to your skin will never be this soft ever again Yeah, it's uh, I've heard now my brother has been telling me that the ultimate What people whatever he said people should with MDMA take it by themselves You just lay in a room and just let it kick in and just vibe out Lamar dozed me the other day He dozed you? No, but I he just underestimated the power of the capsule he was giving me. Wow. And I think there might have been something different in there than he was telling me. Yeah, dude.

Because he came from a concert and he was like, you guys want micro doses? And I was like, yeah, I was expecting a nice 0.7 gram of mushroom, of hello. As I was already on the brewskis, I was like, oh nice, I'll take this and ride off. And it was just Molly instead? I was sweating like crazy and I was really thirsty and I was tripping my fucking balls

off after like an hour. I was tripping like crazy. And you just had like one capsule? I had one little capsule he was like it's a microdose and then I was like. Yeah you can only fit so much food in an old capsule. I started shitting I had the mushroom shits where I was just shitting weird and I was like I have to get out of here and I left and I just sat in my garage until like four in the morning and change

There's also I actually I might have fucked around and got addicted to nicotine by the way for real how yeah I mean, I'm fine. It's not bad, but I just was crushing cigars dude. I can't stop smoking them I was always like I don't understand why people like nicotine and then once you start getting a nicotine buzz You're like, yeah, this is kind of the best feeling in the world. I get I kind of get the hype around this Especially with cigars. It's like I had that heavy nicotine buzz. Yeah, it kind of kid and it is nice It's really just kind of like it's like the opposite of weed where you're like confused from weed It's the opposite you get like completely sure and you're like man. This is great Everything and it's like kind of subtle you're like everything's great

And you have that thing in your hand and like makes you more confident just like I know this is sus a little Like you hold a cigar you're like yeah, I know what I'm talking yeah, it is Tony soprano mode You're I like to smoke them all driving Tom petty I'm like, this is pretty great, man. I love this guy. This guy is great. It's not like very, it's very subtle, I've noticed. It's not like, you don't get like whacked, but you're just kinda like, I'm a fuck, I'm

in a good mood. Yeah. I'm really, right now I'm really into like tastefully deteriorating myself. Just that, cause I do a lot to like bolster my life force, but you also have a death force within your body as well. That's always good. Your body's trying to die as much as it's trying to live so it's like you gotta kinda honor

the death force in you as well. So your body's like literally instinctively trying to return to inorganic material that it arose from. Just as hard as you're trying. That's what I've been saying. Just as hard as you're trying. You guys keep telling me to quit smoking. No, now I'm addicted dude.

Now it's like yeah, yeah I get what you're doing. All of the cigs are another thing and I think. These cigs are no good. Tell me to quit smoking All the sigs are another thing and I think I'm curious to see if I actually will get addicted to nicotine I know like cigars is probably harder to get addicted to it will happen to you though Well, it's like I'll be like yeah, I just don't like the taste of it the next day now Like I'll wake up with that taste and I'm like, yeah, it's not a big deal Yeah, I might uh, I might start I might start having to honor that which is my some sort of slightly Deleterious activities that would be it cigars. Yeah, what maybe maybe just cigars. Maybe uh, you know, we'll see Start my maybe I'll start choking myself while I beat

We'll see I Am gonna get back on the microdosing regimen. That's something I decided. Hey, well From both. I might microdose. I've microdose LSD before I didn't like it as much as much rooms It's too it was like too strong and overbearing Didn't like it as much as much rims. It's too it was like too strong and overbearing Do you ever do it before never done it? I had I have like one thing, but I don't know what it says it's like says It's a micro dose, but I don't know like I just got it from someone so they like little capsules It's not even a capsule. It's like a like a jolly not a jolly rancher. I'm like a

Tootie law, so but it's like that same kind of like texture as like a tootsie roll But it's like a flavor like a candy. Oh cool. It's supposedly a same kind of like texture. It's like a tootsie roll, but it's like a flavor like a candy Oh cool, and it's supposedly a micro dose of LSD. Yeah Yeah, where'd you get that from? Yeah, somebody I was at the stand so like a comic was like yeah take this they're pretty chill I mean, it's kind of nice. It's just it's like strong, dude It doesn't go away like the mushroom micro dose hits you and there's like two or three hours But it kind of like subsides the LSD micro dose is just there for like eight hours

Here's bopping around you're like damn. My chest is vibrating still weird And I I feel like LSD so the first time I do it I want to be around someone who's done it before and I've never like yeah been in Sorry, it's just me and my girl and I'm like now's the day and I'm just freaking out Freaking out having to be like babe help Me and my girl and I'm like now is the day and I'm just freaking out Yeah, no, that's true, that's what I did my brother was here so I was like, let's I was like, let's just do it Yeah, the pot He's in the mouth podcast. I did two podcasts that day. Yeah, great for podcasting that makes sense I would just talk talk talk and all of a sudden just stop me like

No, no, I think I don't know maybe I feel like my brother told me it was 10 micrograms But I'm like dude if this is a mic I'm also a sensitive machine So I'm like this sounds like if I didn't feel like a micro I was like I feel kind of fucked up all day That's what happened when I did it me easy dose my ass again. No this that time. I keep thinking about it Yeah, you were tripping dude. That's different. If you're like sweating and yeah, it was shit and stuff How was he when you saw him perfectly fine fucking she champs it yeah, he does and he's much larger than I am Yeah, I was talking about that today about the RV. We both, they're all on an RV

on their way to Vegas right now. Who's in an RV? LaMare, Andy, Pat George, and all the other bros. Where'd they cop the RV from? Like rented it. Justin from Creek, he does like their podcast. He rented it and it's like a bunch of them just driving from here to Vegas for skinks. It's about 10 big units in RV. I think it's gonna fucking explode

I'm gonna go to light a joint the place is only just a fart fumes Like the slimmest person in it is besides Justin is Andy like that's the crew that's in that car It's just big dogs. Yes, they're mad at us for going on the big dog yeah I built a horse trailer dude you got an open-air horse trailer a man's head hanging out in the trunk that's basically what that thing is right now there's a layer of manure on the bottom damn I didn't know they're in the RV right now. There's a layer of manure on the bottom. Damn, I didn't know they were in the RV right now.

It has to smell crazy. They're stopping for like barbecue and shit all the way. Yeah, they're going in the fucking desert too. It's gonna stink. They were mad at us for not going. Yeah. And I do not regret the decision. I have heard from them since they left.

Andy and LaMare are definitely pissed at me. They're like, we're recording without you while we're doing this. But I had to bail. Yeah, that's a stanked up RV. It's a super stanked RV. Every white castle's gonna be a stop at. Nobody's gonna sleep.

Everybody's. I guarantee nobody brought water. No one thought about water. It's a bunch of weed, some booze. That's it, maybe some shrooms. That's gotta be kinda fun though, honestly. You know what thought about water it's a bunch of weed some booze That's gotta be kind of fun though honestly, yeah Once you get acclimated, it's gonna smell like a mushroom Damn oh, yeah, you got yes come fast. We got some fast. Yeah, it's gonna be sick

Damn you guys gonna be so high on drugs there. You're gonna get COVID. I'm gonna be taking it. Yeah, I do get COVID every single time. Every time you leave skanks. Yeah, well, I'm only gone. I'm only done it the once but Ruin when I got back. Past three I've gotten COVID. Did you really? Yep, and I'm probably gonna get it again. Are you gonna do a bunch of drugs and you get down there? So you're gonna take it easy? I'm gonna try to take it easy, but you know me. It's gonna be impossible. The party never ends. I don't find it like it do like everyone's like I'm gonna do acid down there, so you're gonna take it. I'm gonna try to take it ease, but you know me It's gonna be impossible the party never ends. I don't find it like do like everyone's like I'm gonna do acid down there

I'm like no way dude. Yeah, it's scary and I yeah Yeah, yeah, the 40th dude like sweating his nuts off in cargo shorts in the desert being like whoa Which is fine, but when you're up on mushrooms last thing I want to do is like talk to anybody Yeah, I'm like tripping on mushrooms and dudes are like coming up in my face. I'd be like I have to go back and you go back Yeah, Vegas is like man Sick, it's a sick thing. They put together. I just the vibe in Vegas man as a city I don't like it all certain times But see that area can be real sad like once you get up cuz you you're up till 5 a.m

And then that like little area gets it gets dark. Yeah, super dark. Well, there's nothing there for me It's only it's just literally vice and I'm like dude I can't partake in anything if you don't do like if you don't partake in vice Can you go to Vegas is you're just like this sucks you can't smoke cigars though I could smoke light up stogie. I can light up stars. I mean there's so it is something so Kind of gay and cornballish about smoking cigars, but I can't help it. I genuinely love them I'm a gay cornball. Yeah, I think it's that. I know there's something kind of cornballish about cigar culture. It's like yeah, it can be Yeah, I love lighting up a stick

No one will tell me not to light up a stick But I'm like you hear about Ulysses Grant smoking like 50 cigars a day. Yeah, that's cool I don't want to do that. Wolverine likes him too. I've been watching x-men Yeah, no just Wolverine just Wolverine. Yeah, Hugh Jackman does like musicals and shit really yeah, dude He's like a little Broadway for a while now right? Yeah, bro. I forget. What was the play he was doing? I don't remember, but I just I don't know. I don't know what the fuck play. He was a Wolverine. I think he was in a Fuck I don't know I heard the Deadpool Wolverine flops. I heard it was really good Was he in?

Hey, there is Yeah, dude, that's the row. That's Wolverine man. He's an actor. He's an artist. He's a true thespian. I Mean dude, I could see if you're a Broadway if you're a Broadway performer That's me. I thought he was in like the sound of music or something If you're a Broadway performer, I could see like that not scratching your itch being he probably does Wolverine like oh There's no pageantry this beastly movie Wolverine is the best I do like extending my claws Yeah, I'm not that is for Wolverine was the guy when you were little kids you like I was play X-Men

You're bored, but I'm Wolverine. I did I quit Like Cyclops need Cyclops rule I my friend would try to make me be Cyclops, and I'd be like no. Thank you Thought it was a dork compared to Wolverine. Check Hanks is the man now. Jen Hanks was I thought there was a dork compared to Wolverine. Chet Hanks is the man now. Chet Hanks was Cyclops? No, just Gambit. Gambit is Chet Hanks. That's not Chet Hanks.

No, not actually, but he was like a dude who talked, he talked like a Jamaican dude. No, yeah, sort of. That's what I mean, as a person. Did he really? Yeah. His whole thing was over. He's like a Louisiana guy.

Oh, I got you. He's like a Bayou guy. Got you, got you. Remy Laboe. Yeah. The Gambit. I always just thought he was a white dude, sounded black never heard. I never heard the man's Cajun Truth I was I heard a little Creole. There's some Creole going on in Turks and Caicos

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Caicos is right near Haiti it's right near Dominican Republic Dominican Republic and Haiti are on one island I think yeah bro every time I've been to like a resort Dominican Republic and now Turks and Caicos you see the Haitian bros and they're like scary man like for real like I'm not like obviously if it's like you're like second generation or whatever like the dudes that comes because they're coming from fucking hell dude yeah if it's like you're like second generation or whatever like the dudes that comes because they're coming from fucking hell Dude, yeah, please. It's like a fallen state you like see like it's the Riz Necessary to live on an island is crazy, dude

Everyone you see is just like Riz on 40 Yeah, bump into a Haitian guy, and they just kind of just like stare at you like they'll be like sitting on a pallet You're like hey, man. What's up? They're like oh shit my bad, bro. Just thinking about cutting just trying to practice my wrist Just fucking staring at me with cat eyes, and I'm like you know my bad back to sweeping up rocks in 110 degrees I guess It is set dude the place didn't let people tip either. Huh? It didn't let people tip at that resort It was against the rules. I couldn't tip So you had to like if you did it

I wouldn't want to incriminate anybody of the force there if you did it you had to do it like super looky There's like a drug deal. You got to like hide it under a plate and be like, yo, I Will something under the plate and then that's all I take cuz there's like cameras and shit if they're caught taking tips I get fired Yeah, bro, I don't understand well I mean I the only thing I can think of is like I guess you don't want them like hounding people for tips Yeah, I don't think people would dude. I mean that's the move just say don't hound them But if you get one yeah, if you're for annoying people complain But it's like dude if they if the people I heard again

I don't want to slander the place But I I someone's trying to tell me they pay them seven dollars an hour Turks and Caicos is USD I looked it up. Yeah, dude and eggs are eight dollars a dozen there If you're getting if you're for real, which I dude I'm like is it really seven bucks an hour? That's crazy Devastating and it's fucking so hot dude. It was 93 degrees 75% humidity every day with like a glaring tropical sun He's not allowed to dip in the pool and not or the hell no

You're caught in the polo polo and slack it's brought Yeah, it's like it's like a polo and slacks or like a fucking like wedding like a vest and like dress pants And it's so hot and then you're like you couldn't slip the bro like five ten bucks after the me You can't like put it onto the plate Yeah, you know again. I want to get in trouble. Maybe I slipped a couple Lincoln's around That's fucking bullshit though, man. It's like dude if everyone is in a like two dollars. It's crazy. They could leave this That's the other thing too. They probably want to trap them in once I get that tip money They're like man fuck sweating in this shit. You just saved just your tips for like a year get out of there, but then it's like where you're gonna

Go there's like it's tourism. That's the main export or in my whatever it is But it's like I looked it up it Turks and Caicos is a collection of 40 islands, too I didn't know this was one place. It's 40 fucking one of them is a guana island, which I'm like if you're counting that one Nobody lives there just a guana's Use get out you like yes is pretty sick I wonder how the iguanas went there they moved all the iguanas there I feel like it's they moved all the iguanas there out of the hotel. Just a little while They're just maybe let's give that iguanas this island so they don't bother all the hotel people

I don't know but either what they had a big stray cat cat problem You'd be on the resort and there'd be straight True kind of disproves the theory yeah, because there was a lot dude There was many stray cats And you would see like like you would see like people's kids just like start petting them at dinner And I was like yo, bro like they're like mangy mangy cats. He looks crazy looking. Do you feel bad for him though? Yeah, that was uh, that was I forgive him. My wife made a terrible racist remark and my daughter was like I want to pet the cats and my daughter was like, yeah, why can they do it? My wife was like because they're white people

Hey Brittany, all right knock it off I was like, it's kind of on point though. It was like it It was be like these white kids just grabbing these like flea ridding cats That's probably something I would do too if I was a kid. I yeah my mom would yell at me Fish I would like I get a little meat off my plate and toss it down And I was doing it on the loam British like she was so not allowed because they just started coming over don't feed the cat So now don't because they just started coming over don't eat the cat They couldn't do anything can I do anything nice here Oh, so I stuff my fat fucking face and sit in the late when you get the full experience of like yes I have people serving me. Yeah, yeah true

Lordship yeah, I should get more into that might be nice. Yes, and leave me immediately I should get more into that might be nice. Yes, and leave me immediately Yeah, it's a it was sick though, man. It's like I just like I got down there I'm not gonna drink any of these sugary fucking bullshit drinks. I was crushing my mama Penicillin is out of Bahama mama a much like a mudslide dude. Oh, I never cried I had a much I had she wanted it so bad That's like a milkshake great like we're all I had a much she wanted it so bad. We can't have it. That's like a milkshake great like we Even telling there's even alcohol it was so fucking good. You get her the virgin drinks That's what I did you want when I was a kid

I used to need the virgin Shirley temples or the virgin pina colada or the strawberry daiquiri Yeah, I was giving her the I want I was in the virgin A lot as I would hit the kids of them. They would lose their fucking mind They're so good. Yeah, I only got one good sash of a pool bar, and it was I mean it was everything I wanted it. It was so bar is awesome. Oh my god, dude. I was just every day I would just kind of crush like these five milligram edibles had these little mints that it's sorry to the Turks and Caicos authorities I did smuggle them into your country Every year be so mad at you

You know every year gonna be so many you do Get all the rules come get me You go back in a year like we heard what you did we know what you did Now they're chilling you fuck but apparently it's like you can't have like CBD you can have anything there They say I don't know if that's just to kind of like jam you up, but you know I'm not looking I'm not gonna get in They don't really check anything. Thank God, but uh, there's not an island vibe know if that's just to kind of like jam you up But you know I'm not looking I'm not gonna get in over they don't really check anything thank God But uh is not an island vibe. I it's kind of lame. They're like that against the fucking gonj, but they also again I'm not telling anyone to bring weed into Turks and Caicos, but it's pretty fucking easy if you really But you have no idea what it is certain people yeah

I mean dude my shit was just too it was their mints, so I had this little mints I had you know whatever you can't switch stuff. It was what it's a simple. You wouldn't bring flour in there Would you that seems terrifying I would be too scared. I'm shook There were some flour there I won't get into it. Maybe someone else probably I tossed it in the frozen suitcase my smoking weed again But it was sick man, I would just crush these little five milligram Mint edibles that's nice smoked stogies all day and his fucking just every meal just pound like pina coladas

It was it was literally I was absolutely in heaven. Oh, yeah until I got back and had a dude I had a frill it was I haven't spaz this hard in public in a long time But I almost got in a fight with an African dude in customs on the way back and he was trapped We're both fellow travelers. He wasn't working there We're like, you know when you're traveling and like so like when you go through customs You got to like you go through customs coming off the flight and then you got to reclaim your luggage and then put your luggage Back through the TSA security. It's fucking so annoying But so we do that so we're like I'm with Brittany. You know we're like kind of broken

I was like Brittany and Chloe are closing the stroller. I have Maya with me, and I'm like try I have like a ton of suitcases I'm trying to bring up in this like African dude. It's pretty he was like old to the guys from his 50s Like cuts in between us and then starts like pressuring like kind of like push in front of Brittany And she's obviously not for that kind of stuff. She turns around like bro. You fuck like what are you doing? I'm like is whatever man's fine. We got our bags on yeah I'm like that shit's so fucking annoying then we get the line was just like We put your bags in a little machine And then you got to go to another line to get through like some other fucking TSA bullshit And the guy like so we're standing there

And I'm like behind Brittany the guy starts doing this like side assault where he's trying to cuz there wasn't like a demarked line It was just like a mob of people like slowly funneling into like a one-person line So he starts doing that shit where he's like oozing pastor and he bumps the stroller and Brittany's like yo sir if you could not Like bump into my kid again. You already did it back there if you could not do that that'd be great The dude was like shut the fuck up. He does African spaz and it's like you know like Brittany was like yeah I guess like you know if you're from Africa like some lady starts mouthing off. I get I guess short-circuiting

I Real thing he like you know wait for you to grab he didn't know we were together Wait for you to grab he didn't know we were together Because I was like you know we just thought it was a solo lady thought is a solo single mother probably He's probably disgusted bro. Yeah, so she was like sir and she likes you she obviously is no stranger for conflict So she was just like yo, sir if you could not do that that'd be great You're literally bumping into my kid, and he was like get the fuck over to you like just started spazzing out and I'm like and then like I'm like yo, bro, then like the started spazzing out and I'm like and then like I'm like yo, bro, then like the

The guy the TSA agent was like yo, dude. What the fuck are you doing man relax? Like what do you like it's not worth it man? Don't get you know you like let the he's like go ahead get the fuck out of here like come on, man But he's like I'm a father always or spazzing out, so I'm just sitting there And the guys like yo man is not worth it man something you know I think go to jail over I'm like yeah for sure and as soon as we like get in line next to each other. I'm like what the fuck is your problem? He like said something and I died like scream spaz and like cuz we're you know when you're in a line of like snakes From here it goes like boom boom boom boom yeah, so he was on one side of the divider I was on the other side, and I like leaned over. I was like I'm gonna fuck you up I

Like blacked out cuz he said something to me cuz I was like dude Could you feel like chill the fuck out yeah? And then he said something to me, and I just blacked out cuz he said something to me cuz I was like dude Could you for real like chill the fuck out yeah? And then he said something to me, and I just blacked out and I leaned over the thing I was like I'll fuck you up right now. He's like what the fuck then he put it together He's ago. I didn't he's I didn't I guess he didn't realize like we were together and then he thought you were just out of nowhere Beat this I'm like dude. I'm flying with kids. I'm like whacked on caffeine It was just this guy. It was just like bro. That's he caught the wrath dude. It was and I felt bad

I instantly I felt for real like embarrassed I was like fuck that was kind of ugly and then uh and then like he was there was another but there was like a Black dude in front of him American black dude And then they were like close together and the dude like the other guy looked back at me kind of like yeah Like it's all good. I'm like dude. I'm sorry'm sorry, and he's like I don't know this fucking guy And then I started thinking he might have been kind of slow I was like bro. I think he might be kind of like autistic or something Yeah, but I was then like I got it. I was like no this guy's just a fucking dickhead

We've real almost fought in the airport if he had like lunch forward we would have fought I was ready to go to jail guys. You don't go to jail. I get your idea right now What if I was like fuck you pussy? To go to jail guys you don't go to jail and get your idea right and I went off I was like fuck you pussy I'll fuck you This was in Miami Airport I haven't spaz like that it was bad, and then we all had to just all stand in line for 30 minutes It was bad I apologize to the people in line at the Miami Airport It wasn't my best showing I feel like the American black people line were tickled about the whole they were

Dude is Kevin every time you see me just started we were like meet again in line. He'd be like You look at this guy. They go fuck that guy Yeah, it was bad people had to be there was a people were kind of like giggling to themselves about it We all had to stand together for literally 30 more minutes And then me and him would have come we would like look at each other again across the dividers the lines would match up again Yeah, and he'd be like so you're sorry saying something like bro. It's fine, man. Sorry squash brother beef squash You kind of bitch. I'm like you bitch down man. It's fine Beeps over I won

Literally one stop talking about it Basically be your ass I Literally won stop talking I'm very happy honestly though. He didn't do anything cuz I would have went to jail I guess if I get a certain level of angry. I'm not I'm not like a big badass I'll literally black out and I just lose sense of everything going on the guy could have like beat my ass How he was like big he was like a short African king He's like a stocky. Yeah, he was also through it bit of an elder though. He's a bit of an elder So, you know jeans polo sandals You don't fight that guy though, I exactly fucking me. I don't know what the hell that guy

You know he could hit me of some like African wrestling, dude. Yeah, so you're gonna blow sand in your eye Yeah, I've come to fighting an old African man Hopefully that's the closest I ever come cuz that was that was it was just not a good look for anybody involved Barrier he literally in front of the whole crowd was like fuck you to my wife, and I was like bro It was it was just not a good look for anybody involved But I actually a very glass barrier Literally in front of the whole crowd was like fuck you to my wife, and I was like bro I can't let that ride especially with the kids there like they can't have that memory kids are there, bro I was like it was just instinctual dude. It was funny too for the guy to be like yo, bro Frill just let it go to work. I'm like yeah, dude for sure. I'm already over it

Fuck you pussy like classic kid in high school like I don't even care anymore then ahhh he just did a over to him he started it I don't know if he did it in the line he did start it then we got out of line and we were fuck you I'll fuck you and it was bad and then I like inched over to his side of the thing and he kind of was like what the fuck is going on why is this white man so mad at me right now

in case you're wondering does Yacoubian devil he just did nothing I was like what the fuck is going on? Why is this white man so mad at me? His mind he did nothing wrong five minutes ago. He just put a woman in her place Your job for you Don't raise your voice to me Yeah, he had a woman raising his voice raising her voice to him in public and he just fucking he's he snapped Yeah, and then it's like I was like bro. I can't I just can't let it ride We should all have a little more data. Yeah, he's just a little brazen voice Shut the fuck up bitch, I mean little mayor was on the other day to was he really We already covered

Bases oh very one of the mayor's many hot takes it Funny class it was actually very funny his thing about uh How he loves what did he say he loves he loves video games, and he breaks controllers all the time if you love a woman why would she? HAHAHAHA The funniest thing ever The hair also just cracked me up the other day Remember when he was like I don't want to be autistic

Everyone wants to be autistic And I don't want to But I am Yeah he can claim A lot of people are out here posing autism LaMare's got the secret sauce. Genuine article. He's got the secret sauce.

Yeah, he can try to attack the LaMare man, it's like bro. I think it was since we were down, was it since we were down here when he had the realization? I remember being with him when he was like, I'm autistic. And this couldn't have been more than a year ago,

where he just, it like for real hit him, I'm actually autistic, aren't I? And it was like, wait, and this was, couldn't have been more than a year ago, where he just, it like, for real hit him like, I'm actually autistic, aren't I? And it was like, wait, you just, like, you just putting that together, bruh? Yeah, man. You have fucking wrestling figures in your room. I have wrestling figures. Of course you are. Like, he knows, like, deep cut characters of everything he's into. It was so funny watching him be like,

I'm autistic and everybody, I think it was like me, you think we're at the stand, it was like me, you, Ali being like, bro, I don't think you remember this. You don't look like you remember. Probably not, no. But you're fucked up, he dosed you again. He might have dosed me again. Yeah, he's for sure, he's kind of autistic.

He kind of vaguely remember this. He's the king of noticing things so long after everyone else has noticed him. Yeah. And that's just another prime example. I forget some other ones he said to me and you before, where he'll just notice something that everyone's been talking about for months

and be like. I mean, dude, he might have the wildest takes. Every take he spits, I'll be like, dude, you want to maybe resend that right now? You want me to delete that? That's the craziest shit I've ever heard in my life. He'll be like, no. I do kind of admire that, though, how he will die on the weirdest hills. But he'll change his mind.

And then he's like, well, I'm not going to say it publicly, say it publicly though like I'm not gonna tell anyone that I think I'm wrong now Yeah, dude the trip was sick though nice I was so happy to be back man It's crazy how nice America is yeah the airport at Turks and Caicos was like it's like a bus stop. It's crazy, dude They don't have the fucking extend II things You know like it's what the ass no, dude You just got to walk out into like the blistering Sun And it's not like it was like I get if you're a little plane is like yeah You just kind of walk out these are like full-size planes

You gotta just walk into the blazing heat and like walk up the steps. It's like damn you guys can't get the fucking Things was it the same planes that we like to say my bow and this shit Like that. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it was a regular American Airlines. They're only like an hour from Miami. Oh, okay Okay, also dude the fucking fake ladies in Miami. It's crazy BBL Yeah, dude, though. I'm telling you man. I there were so many women that I was like like the level of Artificial enhancements and women now, I've said it before, they're gonna become virtually unrecognizable.

Yeah. It's like that's a weird arms race for ladies to enhance themselves and once you go over the brink it's like you're just mutant. I mean it's teetering now being too close. Like, cause I'm like, I think I'm an all natty guy. Just I'm just strictly off internet shit, you know what I mean? For sure. But you see some and you're like, that's real and it takes like way longer than it used to to be like

Yes, got a weird bounce to it or like yeah the thighs. It's like they're doing it. It's masterful I'm not I'm for it, but I you know I would love it to be perfected by the time my lady's like 55 yeah, I would copper I would copper. It's kind of it's kind of their Yeah, it's there which we call it like testosterone therapy Yeah, they can kind of just like bring their ass back up and pop those titties back out. I get it man You know yeah, you can't really fault them for that. No. I actually want like I want it I want my lady when we're home. I want her to give me the enhancements If I especially if I'm gonna stay and be faithful and shit like pick them titties up. Yeah

And be faithful and shit like pick them titties up. Yeah We'll be happy you can go on t2 you know I'm gonna go on t as soon as it stops working right I'm figuring out. Oh, I so I started taking maca again not even realizing it I was just taking I take I was taking melatonin to fall asleep And I saw they like a date that brand I take is like a daytime thing Yeah, just like lion's mane and whatever else, but they had maca in it, and I was like I didn't I was like Yeah, whatever dude. I've been waking up Brick yeah, no the mark is the mark is another level dude. I was waking up brick like oh, this is new Yeah, I might have to get the maca. Oh

It's just maca the same shit that I maca tea. You know that's a good maca root I've had for you You take it like they say it has a lot of iodine in it which apparently Americans are low on iodine because they took it out of the salt used to be in the tape If you get pink Himalayan salt or whatever any sea salt there's no iodine So a lot of Americans stop fucking with the regular table salt that did have a did have iodine But if you eat out though, it's probably in all that stuff But a lot of people have a deficiency in iodine and then it has a lot

So if you take too much of it for too long long they say like you can get too much iodine But if you go on it for like a couple months at a time you dude, it's crazy I've been I've been rocking like I didn't think I even like had anything to worry about but like now I'm getting like My full boner back and I'm like, you know where you been? Hello Yeah, it's crazy my old friend. Yeah, it's pretty wild dude. I suggest mocking and pretty much anybody Yeah, I get I'll say for the record. I'm not on the tea I was on the I wouldn't be worried about market, but it's like dude. It's yeah, it's pretty sick. I Don't when you go on tea is it like I don't even know you see was a pill pop

Are you pill pop it to your shot? That's I don't like that the the problem though is I think and again I could be wrong But I think what a lot of those little like t-centers do is they give you a readout And I think they tell everybody like yeah, you got low t no matter what they told our one friend. He had low t Egan oh, that's right. Yeah, I don't know if he wants that out, but it's like he wants to see sir He's probably talked about yeah, but he uh yeah, dude. He he's a young boy Yeah, but he uh yeah, dude he he's a young boy Young man the problem is if you don't get good sleep one night and go to a tea center your tea will be low Yeah on the readout, but yeah, dude

I honestly wouldn't go on that stuff until you're like old and like you don't need You're like reproductive system at all anymore because once you start you're like once you start it putting that shit in your body I think I think you can come off of it, but it's like. You're gonna get soft. It might be kind of weird, I don't know. It's like, would you wanna roll those dice? I wonder what it'll feel like though, to like be 45, boosting your T.

Amazing, probably. No, probably great, but then you come off, and then you just like, you can just feel. You can't come off ever again. Can you come off and go back? Can you go like, can you be like, ah, you know what, I need to be, my daughter's. Yeah, I guess you could, yeah.

Having a daughter, I need to be my daughter's you could yeah having the daughter I need to be a little more sensitive. Yeah, she gets it back in high school You're like alright. I need to be ready to slap some tea around tea up again Yeah, you could actually you probably could do that that might be a but I think it like fucks with your balls after a while I think if you're on it for a while your balls are just kind of like No good raisins, huh raisins. Well. Yeah, I think like your sperm is all fucked up, so I think you just gotta wait I I really do want to wait till I'm like 60 Yeah, try to keep it together as much as I can and then smash the glass and just become an absolute monster

And I'll be like disrespectful with it too. I'll take like way too much and just become an absolute monster Just mean to people such a dick I Don't know we'll see. It's tempting though, because I heard you do feel like a teenager basically, from what I've heard. That'll be nice. But again, teenage penis?

They give it to you in pellets now. Is it pellets, not the shot? It's a shot, and the pellet is in the shot, and they're like little tiny pills, and then over six months it just melts in your ass. Yo bro, pause dude. Pause dude. We and then it over six months. It just melts in your ass. Yo, bro So it is a little pellet it just sits in your skin. We are they giving the shot directly to a butt cheek sometimes or your Nutsack on the back of that

Look at the diagram of the guy's body. I don't know if it's his helmet or what. No, go to the other one. Go to the one to the right of that. It's like the cross sectional. Sorry YouTube, but they showed his scrotum. Why do they do that? They don't need to show that. We get the guy's laying on his side and he has a penis.

You don't have to show his nuts. And that's how they insert it with this thing right here. Oh man. Weird. He has a penis you don't have to show is a little bit of bowl and that's how they insert it with this thing Right here. Oh, man We're weird Why is that better? Because you don't have to give yourself a shot. Yeah, every yeah. Oh When you're on tea, it's like a every week you hit the doctor going damn forever Mm-hmm that stinks. I just have a doctor visit as part of the weekly

Yeah, but you charge up. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely worth it. But yeah, I don't know man I'm has it I'm really hesitant about that. Yeah, cuz I feel like it once you start that it's like it'd be hard And you might be like I I could be maybe a menace dude. I went on tea. I might be a menace It's gonna bring back like that childhood like I'll fuck anything like if it like who knows what that's like Once you're like in a very committed thing like those are demons. You don't even need back Like yeah, you just start drinking, but it's like you can get her totally enhanced Then you just go on the sauce and just let it all just fall apart She starts like cheating on you and holiday fucking like

A future of any It's my favorite place to eat breakfast here Fuck I'm hard as hell My 63rd birthday by myself. I'm rock fucking hard enough jacked Check out my wife's tits Dude apparently there was a juice It's like a really weird thing to hear about I saw it on Twitter, but there was a Bridgerton convention You know the show Bridgerton. Yeah, it's like porno for ladies

It's just like the English society and it's just literally just sex scenes the entire time I think you might have fought for honestly we were sitting next to a lady on a plane She was in between us just watching yeah, just like the sex scenes Well, I just want to play with it's crazy insane, but dude there was a you know I'm talking you don't talk about dude This shit is the fuck Bunch of ladies cosplayed as Bridgeton they got scammed by this dude who when they went in there To go to what they thought was like a bridgerton inspired like classy ball And it was for some reason they're like they'll be dancing there

So they put like a bullshit buffet that ran out and then there was a course in a pole dancer somewhere. Yeah, true Back there though, there's one on But they hired a pole dancer for some reason so in the corner there was just a stripper lady Dancing on a pole it was crazy. There was a whole like Twitter thread about it It made me laugh so fucking hard to see a bunch of ladies show up and be like this stinks I get it. I was gonna say I guarantee the next one is gonna be dude heavy Cuz we're gonna get out that this was like us like just fat bitches who were just like trying to cosplay and shit Yeah, and next time it's gonna be like ten women in a thousand dudes a bunch Who would coat a gentleman?

Lady would you like to have this day dude that would be going home pulling someone from the Bridgerton ball And just I mean dude look at that bro having to hike up that giant. They saw dude that was a for real That's like a girl brain terrorist dude Richard in ball for $300 and just have like the worst buffet And just a pole dancer for no reason just a lady pole dancer Yes, it was a pole. It was a lady pole dancer But it's like it's like women are dressed up for the bridges and ball They don't need to see a lady like yeah in a bikini kind of doing pole dance who wasn't like in blooms like those

No, she was just fucking Just a lady just like a modern-day pole dancer. I'm gonna see if I can find the fucking thing I won't find it. It was on Twitter. It made me laugh. I just that made my morning man That is nice Yeah, dude. That was a I Wish I hopefully can pull it up that shit made me laugh. There we go. Yeah, the, that was a, I wish I hopefully could pull it up. That shit made me laugh. There we go, yeah, the food was raw. Ha!

Shit. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, the view was probably all over it. Yeah. Yeah, let's see their chart. There, that's the best picture. That's the funny, the lady who just gave up on standing. The lady who sat on the floor.

Ha ha ha. She was like, oh yeah, there's a hotel conference. And she's sitting like she Oh yeah. Who's it like? Hotel conference. And she's sitting like she slid down the wall like she did slowly. Nah, it was just ladies dude. Ladies at the Bridgerton event in like a Holiday Inn. There's the pole dancer. There's the pole dancer. My man in the corner just chilling.

Yeah, she's just vibing. Yeah, they just had a fucking pole dancer. Yo, ladies beware. Scammer. Yeah, go to the Bridgerton ball. You're at the Bridgerton ball. It'll be you and a bunch of other very lonely ladies Yeah, man, that's just absolutely criminal poor ladies Yeah, dude, that's uh, I

Don't know what safe no That's the thing like the guy who put they showed the promote like it was like a club promoter who put it together Bees such an animal tricks. I mean he must have made so I probably made like 20 grand With like no over that guy is such a vibe He's security true. He's making posted up in the perfect spot hands on the merchandise. Yeah, that's security But yeah, that's yeah, there's a there's a young tutor right there Yeah, it looks like Baron true. Yeah, yeah, you're right the next Bridgerton ball someone's gonna throw out throw one It's gonna be so nice. Why is Will Smith trying it? Why is he trending?

That's it's trending the sports too. That's never good good I don't know, I don't give a fuck. Probably something with Diddy. Oh no dude. Okay, they're accusing him of a Oh this is what I was talking about with you the other day Nate. How a lot of the Diddy allegations are purely criminal but then some of them are just black dudes being like AEO.

Yeah true. Like the whole time I saw one that was like Diddy had his shirt off with so andso at the pool Rock the beater Bro, just one of y'all gotta rock the beater I mean dude there were probably it was just he was having like wild sex parties and it's like if you're you know if you're in like the That like a sphere of like celebrity like that level of celebrity. It's probably like yeah

We can do whatever we want You come up as I get did he throws the coolest parties? Probably there's probably like levels to it, too There's probably like the inner sanctum and once you get into that it's probably like what because they were all those guys were like Oh, you see the video of them all like laying in a bed together Dane dash got that and he had to come out and be like I didn't do shit, dude Yeah, Leah was in it. I think in that same picture. He dated Aaliyah, Dame Dash dated Aaliyah for a while. I think there was a lot of holly,

like Dame J, R. Kelly married her. R. Kelly married her when she was young. They were, she was 15. I don't know if she, nevermind, I was about to say, I don't know if she told R. Kelly she was 15, because they did fake her on the marriage certificate, they said, like 18. I saw that, yeah.

But that doesn't mean he ain't he ain't no Yeah, no that was a yeah Jay-z is he's kind of dying to get him fucking dragged down. They want it so bad Yeah, if that that would actually I think I think that would like actually hurt my feelings Just how much I fucked with Jay-z as a kid like you didn't come go down Is why do you think him and Beyonce had to do that DNC stuff? Why would they do that they're billionaires? Why would I mean do they really maybe they love the DNC or maybe? sexual blackmail That's a theory on Oprah. It's like Oprah was all

Spud was saying the diddy stuff came out next thing you know Oprah's at a DNC convention being like we will prevail The diddy stuff came out next thing you know Oprah's at a DNC convention being like we will prevail interviewing Kamala Yeah, man, and they do sexual blackmail that was the whole Epstein operation Yeah, so like what you think that was the only one it's possible dude. It's one of Oprah's doing I Don't know dude. Who knows Again nothing anybody wanted to watch maybe nothing maybe nothing, but it's like, who knows, dude. You guys know how it gets. The one thing they weren't saying is- You guys know how the parties get. Yeah.

Yeah. Is those things are like, you bring the celebs to lure in the politicians. That's what I, I did see that online. Like you bring in the celebs, you get them coming, and you tell all the politicians, like, did he's going to be, you know, everybody. And then they, they show up, celebs leave early,

but the politicians are chasing the dragon. Mm-hmm Yeah, that's how you say that that's how to move works. That's what I'm gonna tell myself It's possible to do nothing. You never know this ho That would be a devastated oh my community of hope gets like locked up on some Epstein stuff Yeah, although that wouldn't really I so many I know so many black people like yeah, dude. He's he worships the devil He's in an Lumen on yeah True I think the barbershop will be silent just for like two days. It's like no Take two hours cuz your barber will keep stopping them like saying his little point.

Dude, the barber shop's probably crazy right now. It's going, yeah, it's definitely crazy. I got my haircut this morning, they were talking about the dude. Really? Yeah, like just kidding. Can I come? I mean, my barber, there's no barber in Austin that I've come across as a black barber shop.

They all have black barbers, like Mexicans, but like I have a black barber, but it's like, it's not a black barber shop. Yeah, yeah. It's not enough of us down here's like it's not a black barbershop. Yeah It's not enough of us down here too much soccer talking This is one boy my barbershop he goes nuts on conspiracies every time I'm there That's like his that must be his whole day. Yes talking everyone in the shop's ear Conspiracies I got to go and start introducing some white conspiracies to the barbershop. They're in there

Yeah, at least here you gotta go back Yeah, true My travel to H town just for a black barbershop I've had like two black barbershop experiences one was great. The other one was not so great. What happened? I do the one it was like somebody someone I knew brought me to a barbershop in like in West Philly they're like now dude come when I was like selling pills or like dude. It was like my connect basically He's like bro. We'll go to the barbershop now. It was kind of chill He was like there was one time

I just went to one because I'd leaked the place I was trying to go was closed and I went in I was like dudes Chopping it up having the barbershop experience, and I was like guys. I hate to break this up I really need a haircut about to go to the beach Can we just like can we just do this real quick? I don't want to like ruin the vibe here just get to shape me up the dearest like yeah Yeah, and he fucked literally he fucked my hair cut was so good Then he just like butchered this one side now. I think he might have fucking like get the hell out of it I don't come back. Yeah, that was I was just like dude

Just one haircut, I'm not trying to get in here and like kind of horn in on the black barbershop experience. The hair connery's closed right now, I have to go to the beach and we just please strike a deal right now. To go to a barbershop, black hair connery's closed right now.

I had to get in here. It's so funny. The white barbershop experience is you to like just have, just get like yapped at by like a divorced lady. Yeah, yeah. for like an hour Yeah, oh, man. Oh, that's a picture of your daughter. Wow. She's beautiful. Thanks So like and they were having a good lively time and I walked in it was like Who's on probation I gotta go to the beach with my friends guys, please give me a nice

Can you line me up give me a buzz, please? But either way well dudes, I think we made it a fucking hour. Yeah, dude so What's next? What do you guys have to? Go to Vegas in city baby true that skunk fist well if you guys Feel like it go to Matt McCusker comm for tickets I'll be in where am I gonna be oh dude the New York Comedy Festival guys quit fucking playing around. I'll be at town hall and Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. What am I gonna be at town hall? Oh my god. There it is

1116 2024 1115 2024 I'll be in Capital One Hall in Tyson's, Virginia And then October 24th Milwaukee improv I'll be at the Wilbur in Boston, let's go, there's a late show, there's a couple spots left, you can get them. That's 1018, and then 1010, October 10th, Hilarity's Comedy Club, Cleveland, Ohio, and I have a bunch of other dates coming up to round out the year, and then I'm gonna film a special

and take off from touring for maybe six months to a year to come up with a new hour of stand-up comedy. That'd be awesome. Yeah, so that'd be very fun. You know where you're taping at? I have no idea yet, I to come up with a new hour of stand-up comedy. That'd be awesome. Yeah, that'd be very fun. So, you know where you're taping it? I have no idea yet. The new hour is fantastic. Thank you guys.

So excited. It's been fun, I'm excited to tape it and be done flying everywhere. Very nice. Thank you guys. Thank you. Thank you. God bless you, love you.