Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 524 - Tricker Treat (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support the spunge & tombini @ https://www.patreon.com/stuffisland Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Hello0o0o. We're back with another cast for you guys. As a Halloween spo0o00oky season treat. The Philly DAWGz are workin hard on Tires but still found some time to bless you guys with a top notch cast. What a blessing. Please enjoy. God Bless you all. Have a great weekend!  Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup

And we're starting now. Hello everybody. We're back the three of us. I guess McKeever couldn't make it No, he Yeah, busy as hell yeah, he's extreme. I don't know how he's doing what he's doing now He's doing a little bit of everything. He's he's now at that point where he can't get to There's always somebody that needs some yeah, yeah, which that could be trouble Cuz then you're gonna have to handle a lot Dwight gets his dick sock constantly he becomes the boss and it's really cool and everyone thinks he's cool. I Did a cool thing I went and got a mask made you got him. Oh,, yeah for the show fucking silicone put on yeah nice for when I blow your fucking head

Exactly. Yeah, we kill me a Terminator I How was it that sucks It wasn't it wasn't that bad. It was kind of nice and also my my dad wound up being like ten minutes away They pulled my dad out of retirement. What do you mean? Yeah, my dad retired from engineering. Oh, and he's working. Yeah, he's working today. So you got to see your father.

Yeah, yeah, I got to have a little meal with him, which was nice. We ate hot dogs. Your new dad ate hot dogs? Yeah, yeah, we shared a hot dog. Yeah, it was nice, and some cheese curds. Talked about minor league, or not minor league, but like youth league hockey for a little bit.

Talked about kids and ate hot dogs? Yeah. kids and eight hot dogs. It's a great day. Where'd you guys eat the park? No, we went to this place called destination dog. You went to these hot dogs. That's nice. Yeah, it was great. I'm not a big dog guy. Oh, these are good hot dogs. I fucking hate hot dogs. I just hate, I obviously I just hate I obviously I'm munching Yeah, I'll grow up with the best but hot dog. I just fucking hate hot dogs. No good hot. They're disgusting Well, they are a terrible ally in this all you Fucking chicken fingers Check fingers obviously rule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, no, it's more grilled

chicken and rice and, uh, broccoli. Now my diet affects how I feel. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. So are you, are you bulking up or is that okay? Yeah. I did think I've opened it because I did. And I started to tell you this and then I stopped, but I think I unlocked a new power source in the golf thing. Is that where this power swing story was going? Yeah. There was more to that story? No, there wasn't, but there wasn't.

I wanted that to be. There could have been more. That needed to be done. That was one of the worst stories I've ever heard in my life. Well, I don't think it was. You should tell everybody on the pod. I don't want to, everybody's just gonna make fun of me.

No one's gonna make fun of you. Well, this is the, so we're in the middle of us filming, which is, it's long. And then Steve's like, oh my God, I saw him smiling. He saw me, that's all it was, by the way. I literally, the tiniest little... No, you were literally looking at the floor gone. He's imagining how bad the story is going to go. Yes. Also wanting to say it. Yeah. That's really what I say. Yeah. And the story was you hit a golf ball far. Well, so I played both days, played Saturday and

Sunday. This is so tired when we're filming We are at risk of losing you to injury Well, we all got sick from from One of the yeah. Yeah, it's spread around. Yeah. Yeah One of the guest stars. Yeah, maybe It's tough to blame him fair enough. Yeah, it could have come from anywhere regardless You're in close quarters with a bunch of people breathe. It's coming for me. I'm We'll see

Dude, I'm yeah I'm a suspect I Had it. Yeah. Yeah, I had something going on you brought it in But anyway, he saw me smile I had to tell the story which is just that I You know had this feel in my backs. Well, it's also I know you're trying to get to this incredible story But let's make sure everyone knows this is out of fucking nowhere. This isn't like we were talking about golf, we were talking about anything.

This is just, all right. I think about it a lot. This is in a silent room. Pretty quiet. Yeah, but we're also, you know, we see each other every day. There's limited amount of stuff to talk about. So I had this other thing to talk to you about.

It's kind of the highlight. So let's hear it. So, uh, I made a few swing changes and then got this feel that gave me a lot more coil in my backswing and I hit a bomb. Like, you know, I hit a couple of bombs, frankly, coming down the home stretch and my playing partner, you know, partner was like, damn, you cleared the bunker into the wind. And I was like, I never would have done that. It's a good feeling. Yeah, that's it. That's the feeling. But see, this is the thing.

I think it's only, most people who don't care about golf, it's whatever. If you love golf, that feeling of connecting with the drive and watching the ball sail, it's whatever you're supposed to feel when you listen to Beethoven. It's just this thing. And I, I got to feel that and I love it. It is great. And, and now we're feeling that a little bit of top golf. You hit the golf ball far. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. They have somebody pulling it out. You pump that. I did pump it. And

then I had 80 yards left. I had a perfect 80 yard day fell shot, made the putt birdie. It played a birdie. I did have a birdie. Nice. Thanks. That's good. That was my boring story that I thought of and then thought of his response to it.

And then of course I have to tell it. So just walk the plank. That was, uh, I do really want to get good at golf Yeah, be fun golfing would be fun. Yeah, let's go off with Steve and his buddies Enjoying the sport hitting a fucking 120 Although you said you hit in the eighties. I 86 on Sunday with the birdie. Yeah. Yeah. You're feeling it. I was feeling it. Fuck. Yeah. How'd you feel when you got home? Your girlfriend? Catch the box. What did your girlfriend get the

business? Game over. Yeah. All right. I shouldn't have asked. No, you carry it over. Do I carry whatever the confidence of a good golf game? Yes, but I don't, but I don't carry over the bad stuff. I don't carry with the bad. I don't believe that. Just fucking lies. You don't take it out on her if you have a bad day, no These golf stories make me really miss Matt's fucking dream stories Matt's dream stories You had some dreams Really bad dreams dream stories because we went out and we had some dinner last night and I went home But then in my dream we stayed out and got fucked up. That's fun. Yeah. Yeah, we got really fucked up the ticket You actually sleep in your head

I was but then I got so shit-faced somehow. woke up in my parents' house and in a drunken stupor I had like started like a variety of puzzles all over the floors of my parents' house and I woke up and I was like, I don't know how I'm going explain. Yeah, what happened last night and like What the fuck were you doing? You kept making puzzles all over like what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah sure So how about that goal? Because it happened in reality It really fucked me up I'm not gonna lie the puzzle thing yeah, yeah My imaginary debauched tonight We had a nice night. We did have a wait a wonderful night. I stood my ground

I did So I could get fucked dinner with our ladies and we had a nice dinner but we were discussing Halloween costumes, okay of course the ladies are They want to go as slutty whatever. And it's like, you know, why not not do that? It's cool when I wasn't dating you, but now you know, come right up a little. I'm sitting there, I'm in the middle of,

I'm battling both girlfriends. This one, silent, Judas. Really? I would add, I did not Judas. Denied me, you're Peter at least. No, not Judas. That was Peter. I said at the table, I would like to get some sleep tonight.

I do not wanna open this can of worms. I think that's fair. What do you think of it? I'm in the trenches. Doing battle. He even said, I appreciate what you're doing. What did, wow. Which was a mistake.

So what do you actually think though? It did come back what you're doing. Wow. Which was a mistake. So what do you actually think then? It did come back to haunt me. Not at the moment, that was a slow burn, that fight. Yeah, yeah. So what do you actually think? I like when other people's girlfriends are dressed slutty. That's true.

But Chris, what do you actually think? So what do I actually think? Yeah, and you were saying nothing. No, I was saying that we're gonna have a Halloween party and it's gonna be a bunch of fucking people from my work and Half of them are 40 You know, right? This is not the time Yeah, I think it's gonna. Yeah, I'm saying what what is your opinion? yeah, I think it's gonna wind up being like a bunch of just like our friends booze and and

Like being dressed super slutty is going to be a little weird. Yeah. Yeah. But that's all. Yeah. I agree. So that's, that's what I genuinely think. But it's like, yeah. Yeah. Cause now the other side of that look like, what is the other side? What is their argument? tough to, you can't break out of it. You gotta go, I don't find that's the big missile in Mario. I don't know. I would disagree with that argument. I would say it's not about being insecure.

It's about making my friends maybe a little uncomfortable because they don't want to look at you sexually because me, their friend, is dating you. Yeah. But yet you're sort of forcing them. You're going Sharia law on this. You're going, you're mine, you're mine, let's cover you up a little. No.

And I agree. No. I agree. I'm saying because you're mine. My enemy's enemy is my friend. I'm saying because, yeah, my friends. It's like they... Don't give Brian Six a boner at the home. Right. But yeah,

that's never an argument you can win. I've been down this road. Obviously we all have. Well, cause you get you, once you start getting this specifically like how long or short a skirt you're just, you're in. I did that at the table. I was like, stop me, stop me wearing the dress. Up your knee, tell me where the dress stops. And if, you know, when you say it, like I'm saying right now, it does come off a little bit controlling and abusive, but it was not.

It was a fun, friendly conversation that ended up not being friendly, but at first seemed friendly. I was trying to suggest a variety of costumes that maybe, you know, shouldn't require. I was trying to suggest a variety of costumes that may be you know sure require I was gonna go as Frankenstein. Yeah, Bride of Frankenstein. Yeah, it's like a turtleneck Yeah, that was passed upon I'm on cloud cities slave layer

Metal bikini Like no, yeah, it's gonna be 40 degrees don't miss Frizzle was in the mix That's a big dress. I knew where that was going The scuba diving episode the editorialized this frizzle. Yeah. And what are you? You're still playing on the referee costume. No, no, because I don't, I don't, I'm shy. And I know that that doesn't sound. I was thinking about this. You're shy, man. Yeah, I am shy. And I think to make this costume funny when the idea behind the costume was, I'd be like, why

are you laughing? Now that you know, nothing, keep going. Okay, we'll come back to that. Okay. The idea behind the costume is I'm an NFL referee. I do have like a little mini- Yeah, you're throwing party fouls. You're right. And I'm hitting people with the flag and calling party fouls.

Yes, and I will say this has been done. It has? It's probably for 30 years. Okay, then it's unoriginal. It's not, it's original to you. But I'm not gonna do it because, again, I just don't have the, frankly, balls to go around and- I think you do.

No, I don't. Well, this fucks me, because I bought a referee outfit and I was gonna be wearing it when you got there. No, are you serious? You're gonna be so funny with me. It was Chris's idea to get a white hat, so I'd be the head official. I'd be like, I'd look for a white hat.

So I could tell you what to do. You'd have it on Amazon. Oh, and you thought of this. You're a megalomaniac. I was gonna pay for a white hat. You know, I was like, I just want a regular one. Megalomaniac, bro. You're a power hungry pig.

Power hungry pig. That's how you look at me. I mean, you know, it's just. We were laughing so hard last night, and you showed up in the black hat just white Yeah, and picking up flags going. There's no flag I think I'm just gonna come as like Ben Franklin or something That's not bad. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, it's good. It's good way to mix in the spectacles. Oh, yeah

You get some glasses on yeah So yeah, I thought that I thought that there was a George Washington one on Amazon Yeah, but then I felt like that might be kind of cunty To invite people to your house and then wear a fucking generals uniform My party. I'm the coolest guy of all time I'm the most powerful man ever I invented America. Yeah, I Like I like the idea of going all Revolution yeah all ever revolutionary clothing. I like it to

1770s what are laughing at earlier? I was laughing at that Pick up the flag the flag is so funny in all fairness I Yeah, picking up the flag. Picking up the flag is so funny. In all fairness, I saw that referee. It's not like an original thought I had. I was in Manny Yonk and this was like, this is going back 15 years. And you thought of it then? No, a guy ran down the street.

It was like, you saw someone do it. He felt that a guy in a spider-man with a flag 15 yards from being an F and it was just so funny. Yeah. Yeah, it was back when you could say it Bring those back Must Chris say about 30 days you fucking talking about you know what I'm talking about I know what you're gonna. You know we're on the same side of that issue. How many votes are you gonna put in this year? You got about 20,000 last year. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna request I've requested 20 the whole downstairs is full of balance Yeah, I'm filling them out cat's name putting one in for May. No, it's funny. Hey that was

so Crazy at the show. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Chris, let's just kill the show was sick. Show was, that was the coolest thing ever. Watch you walk out in that place. Yep. It's uncomfortable. It's too cool. I mean, from our vantage, the way that people saw you moving in the beginning and just started like rising up. Yeah, that was crazy. It was so sick. Yeah, I had fun.

It was surreal to watch. You were right. You told me that the round is better. Way better. It's so much better than a stage. Because all the sound hits you at the same time. Yeah, sometimes it can trick you. You're like, ah damn, I'm killing.

And then you get off stage and people are like, that was good, how do you think it went? Dude, that bothers me so much. How do you think it went? Yeah, how did you feel about it? I thought it was the best night of my life. I guess I was wrong. Yeah, that was awesome.

That was a fun fucking night. That was great. And little Gerby babies. I got to meet a pitcher. Yeah, strong was awesome. That was a fun fucking night. That was great. And little Gerby babies. I got to meet a pitcher. Yeah, that was awesome. You guys got to discuss pitching from the mound. And then one of your buddies sold him like a gas tank. What? One of your buddies that was there?

Yeah, from home. Yeah, yeah. Apparently like... Made a business deal with a pitcher from the Phillies. Yeah. Yeah, nice yeah, they were talking like he was they were just talking for a while and strong was talking about going on some big drive and He was like, oh you're gonna need a bigger tank for that. You need a bigger tech gas tank. I'll hook it up For oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was was like, he was driving a truck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was one of the guys that was a mechanic at Ardmore.

Ed, nice. Yeah, it was awesome. I don't know if we should cut that out. No, that's totally fine. Look at that fucking cat there. What are you doing there? Yeah, he's fired up. He's fired up.

That's nice. Yeah. Where's your gay cat? At my gay house. Is it doing anything gay? Made in Outdoor. Cheese. Oh, where's your gay cat at my gay house? To do anything gay amazing yeah, no she's an outdoorsman. Oh, she's in your outdoor. No, it's like a whole backyard I've made our garden and This guy needs to go outside very badly. They keep him in he's a giant. He can't Fucking problem out there. He'd get fucked up by the groundhog outside would decimate him now. He could run away from a groundhog

He thinks he's ready for outside, but he's not you guys are he's yeah running this boy's life now All he has to do is he has a chair to play with let him go outside All day he wants to go outside. He's full. Yeah Let him out I Could watch that all day What time you gotta be in earlier I do what you have to go in tomorrow. I think 645 Yeah, what time you? 11 thing yes, brother. I'm still gonna try and go to the Y tonight work out really yeah, you've been working out doing this

I have yeah, yeah occasionally. I'd you work out yesterday. You better not now. All right good Yeah, so I that I would have a problem with that. Yeah, I was under the weather yesterday. Yeah Little dizzy spell We were laughing so hard last night cuz your face like you lost all your blood in your face Yeah, your face was ghostly white and you had that At one point I was like, holy shit. I was even watching you during a scene and be like, he's gonna hate the way this one comes out.

He's gonna look fucking terrified. I don't know if anybody's had this where you're just like, your hearing cuts out and it's like pop. And then, and that's normal. I've had that happen before. And I was just, and typically I'm standing up. It happened when I was sitting down and then I just got crazy vertigo.

And I was like sitting next to John, like squeezing his arm, like score scare. It was scary. Yeah. No. And yeah. Then I didn't look like you. It was because you were upset about what you were wearing. That's what made it so funny. It felt like the way you walked in, it just was like, yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a lot of like, uh, first of all, the wig is very hot. And then, uh, there, it takes a long time to put it on and a lot of like fussing about it. And you know, some, does that bother you? I thought, I thought you'd like getting fussed over the makeup chair, bro. Yeah. I'm not a big fan of like all that. Cause it's also like they put in, you know,

you've got it It's just not the most comfortable thing But if I see your hair, it's you're constantly eating fake hair. It's a Fake hair. It's real hair. Yeah. Yeah, it's another person's hair. Yeah that grosses you out. Yes Yeah, it's disgusting we talked about other people's hair in your mouth? Of course. Yeah, it's never really bothered me. How often does that happen? Not a ton. But if I get like hair in the food, I just take it out and keep it. Yeah, take it out and keep eating. Some people will lose their minds over that stuff.

Like the whole thing. Would you? I thought for sure you'd love the hair and makeup. Ah, no I don't know. You love like the photographers coming in. I might be over it. I don't know. I don't know. I change I change I didn't used to be a shy person and you beat that out of me. Why you're great I'm trying to make you less shy. Yeah. No, I know you are you are try my best to let you I can show you the world You did great. He would have killed it. Well, no, no, I don't have it. Yeah, I'm working on it You enjoyed it you would have really you have fun. Yeah, I had fun watching you guys that was so cool It really was yeah, it really was and even just you know, you're, wow, you know, we're driving, like Julie and I were driving down and we're just like driving.

And she's like, there's like teams of guys coming to watch the van drinking beers. Yeah. And we're like, this is all Shane. Like we are in Shane. All right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I got there and people were tailgating and I was like, oh, fuck. The crowds are gonna be fucking out of control. And they weren't, they were great. They were good. Good guys. They were great. Yeah. I've been surprised by all the shows. I mean, I haven't been to that many,

but the ones that I have been in that size, close to that size, everyone's like in their seats and ready to go. Yeah. It's crazy. Everyone's gonna wanna do like a minor league hockey arena in some small town, dudes get rowdy. There's some fights up in the balconies and shit. Yeah. Yeah. You just see that. That's

fun. A fight up in the balcony. Yeah. It's just old time hockey. It's fun. That was the first time I ever saw that. I remember when I was in hockey camp in Toronto going into the like whatever skating rink we were doing this, at. It was like a goalie camp. And they were just dudes fresh off of just beer league. Just, and it was like me and my dad walking in and they were just, they were chirping at us and talking shit and just crushing beers sitting on the back of their cars and stuff.

Yeah, throwing beer cans. It was crazy. They could sense the Connecticut Dandies. The Connecticut Dandy's Dandy's are here for hockey That was the old Canada that was a big way Oh Bailey, they're still up there. They Yeah, they form that big wagon train yeah, what else is going on anything cool?

Unfortunately all the cool stuff. I know that's so much. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's like 14 hours a day Just gonna come home It's true. You've been good though In the show. Oh really? Thank you so much. Yeah, you've been good. Yeah, I'm been grumpy on set yet Not really not really. It was one day. That was nothing. There's sometimes though, like last year, I think we'd be done by now. Yeah, basically. Yeah. Fuck. We should have gone back with that. get done like we did last time. We'd be done with it. We could be done. Just churn it out. We still have fucking forever. We do. We've got a long ways to go, but you have been less grumpy. You've been less grumpy. Hey, I think I don't think I was super grumpy last time. You're a bit of a power hungry pig again. Power hungry pig? You stopped saying that. Everyone's going to think it's totally true. No one thinks, no one believes.

Okay. Thank God. No, they do. I'm not wrong. What was I gonna say? You were gonna say this year's better. No, I was gonna say, yes. You know, obviously bias, but we saw a cut.

Yeah. It's, I'm so excited for everybody to see this. Yeah. Yeah. I really am. I know that that's like a thing that people say, but boy, I'm so excited for everybody to see this. Yeah. Yeah, I really am. I know that that's like a thing that people say, but boy, is this fun. I think it has, what's your favorite? I just like your enthusiasm. It's fun. I would never talk that way.

It's nice to hear that. Okay. Yeah. I'm not trying to be, you know, I'm going to get you on a late night TV show this year. I'm going to pants you on Jimmy found that's fine. You know what? I decided what I'm gonna get you on a late night TV show this year. Okay pants you on Jimmy Fallon That's fine. You know what? I decided what I'm gonna do if you do that. I'm just gonna say compliments about you That's effectively pants. Are you I'm gonna be like you don't stop You're gonna make me cry on you. That would be a good revenge.

Just with your pants around your ankles. Yeah. Complimenting. You ever see that? I think it's Mark Summers and Burt Reynolds on a late night show where they, I forget Mark Summers is like a Nicola. It's literally you and me on a guy. He's like, it starts, he's, he's talking about his marriage and Burt, Burt Reynolds is like,

shut the fuck up. And he's like, me and my wife are still together. And the together and the crowds like oh and he like throws his water on him anyway They're getting a fight Reynolds throws his water on Mark Summers. Yeah And then they're like I fellas let's settle those with a pie contest. They're like they turn around and pie each other But rounds hooks him in the face like as hard as he can. Oh my god. It's pretty crazy Anyway, that's what's gonna happen. Whoa.

And Mark Summers is like a hypochondriac, isn't he? I don't know anything about Mark Summers. He's probably terrified of that pie. Yeah. I think he's like a real neat freak. How do you know about Mark Summers? I met him once. What?

Yeah, I tried to shake his hand. Where'd you, oh, is that how you came up with that? He's like blue by and your dad was like, he's afraid of germs. The guy from Nickelodeon doesn't hate you. I've had a best adult and I tried to shake his hand where he did a show at good good once. Nice. Actually, no, it wasn't. Yeah, it wasn't there. Was that some other one of the? Yeah. Yeah. That is now a very famous golf channel. Good. Good. Oh yeah. YouTube. Cause yeah, that's it. I ruined that. My bad. Damn it. No, we love golf. Okay. It's good. Billy's talking about

doing some golf out there. Yeah. I mean that could really, you know, unite the clans. Golf's fun. We all agree. Golf's fun. He's got a cool vibe to him. Billy. Yeah.ans. Golf's fun. We all agree golf's fun. He's got a cool vibe to him. Billy. Yeah. Yeah, he's a cool guy. Cool clothes. You wish you could wear those cool clothes? Of course I do.

You could wear those cool clothes. He's got the amount of necklaces that I would like to wear. I would like you to wear those. No, I sent Shane a picture of me wearing the Jewish one that we talked about last time. Oh, I want to see it He's like I'm gonna kill you

You're not even Jewish no, I know I know you're fraud yeah, when are you gonna get back into Judaism? Like I said, maybe deathbed. I don't know really thinking to put up a Hail Mary Yes, did you you did you got like did you get the mitzvah? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, so you've done all the things. Yeah, you're in that Crystal looking at the photo now damn Looks pretty good. It does make you look actually extremely Jewish. I never think of you as you as I responded with that yeah yeah that's a good pro is real like the Twitter biopic and you are very pros X that's too complicated for me to I have a opinion on I want everybody to be safe. Yeah. Yeah. World safety. I'm for that too. So like, well, how did the rest of us Friday night go after the show? Oh, it was

good. Just kind of hung out and drank. Yeah went to Bonners drank some more Brian Regan showed up. Yeah, Brian Regan showed up. That was cool. He's fantastic It's an exciting time and then I realized I was too drunk I got the wobbles a little and I was like, alright, I need to leave but I would still like to argue with Chris in front I'm gonna go home. I gotta to go home. Chris, just admit Russian collusion collusion was wrong. And I'm also fucked up. So I took a bait. We had a good battle except Chris was outnumbered 10 to one. Yeah. Wow. I was bringing all Billy was there. I got to just summon Billy Billy handle this because I can't really talk.

Billy, get him. Billy wound up going, I don't give a shit about any of this. It's interesting because I called him on the way over here and he was like, Chris is a pussy for that. In your driveway, that's what he was saying about you. Oh, that's so nasty. Why would he say that? Because I was like, I got nothing. You got to give me something to talk about. Yeah. He was like CEO of Abercrombie and Fitches and fucking pedophile. I got that. That almost goes without saying. Yeah. I guess it was what's his name? Lex Wexner was his

money guys. The same as Epstein. I don't know. Oh yeah. Wester is he the Victoria's secret guy? Yeah. Well, anyway, the next topic that the other day, where is Ghislaine Maxwell? No one knows. I was saying it cause I was listening to Tim Dillon. Oh yeah. Which is one of the best. Listen to Tim Dillon. He's hilarious. He's so good. I told you like the one thing I think it was with them. But let's go back to the collusion thing though, because that was the other topic. Can you just admit that that was kind of a false narrative? Now I stand by that. You think that was real? Well, it depends which version you think they were

using them on. But I think everything in the Mueller report, I think everything is still dossier that ended up getting the Clintons got Stand by this But everything in the Mueller report I stand by do you think it's okay for a political candidate to use the intelligence agencies to accuse another? candidate of Being a Russian spy and then using that putting it in the media and letting them talk about it for four years Unchecked with almost no edits. No fucking sorry. We made it. It didn't help that. What's his name? Did you think that's okay? Trump jr. Trump jr. Was just wondering if you think that he

just could answer the question. He grew up middle class. That's how you answer questions. You are can gambala. Now Trump Jr. admitted it during the campaign. He said we are Russian spies. Yeah, they were like, you guys tried to meet with Russia to get dirt on Hillary, and he released the emails. Oh, they tried to or they did? They tried to, yeah.

Well, they wound up not having the meeting. Oh, that's good. So they didn't do it. But Trump, no, no, no, no, no. So wait, he ended up not killing his wife, so he is not a murderer. No, no, no, no, no. He ended up not doing that crime.

No, no, no. Yeah, no, they caught him. We're out of topics. We can just talk politics. Or Steve's Have to you can think of something there, okay? What do you think about this whole Russian collusion thing here? I you know don't know nearly enough about it. I think somebody was arrested though from hey if somebody gets arrested Then they're definitely guilty that was another argument But wasn't the person that was claiming that there was Russian collusion was actually colluding with Russia. Yeah. Yeah, there's a couple of those

Yeah, it's ridiculous. Yeah, I don't know they got yeah to me the most alarming thing is the Then not that I know nearly enough about it, but the prosecution of Trump in New York for trying to get a loan and claiming that his building was worth more than what I guess it was. Yeah. Was that the Mar-a-Lago one? And the government was like, that's worth five million. Yeah.

The Mar-a-Lago one was the last. There was a, I guess there was a, but Yeah, I didn't see the Marlago. Even though through my understanding, I don't keep track. Also ran its own. Conveniently stopped paying attention. Well, how much did that quits when he's losing in Xbox? No, no, no, I'm not. You turn. No, I'm not. Actually, you were winning and you go, all right, we're done. Turn it off. Biden won. Trump's Trump's going to jail. Turn the game off. Biden did

win. You don't think Biden won? I Trump's going to jail turn the game off You don't think Biden won I think he did win yeah, I mean he won yeah, you think there was malfeasance who knows Do I think no? Thank you. There was some Some unrest in the country that seemed to be beneficial to one side that you know, I will say this about I was thinking about this that seemed to be beneficial to one side that you know, I will say this about I was thinking about this I Will say this about Trump I do the thing that I really do like about Trump is that if he He's kind of doing exactly what you'd actually want a candidate to do

which is which is like, he's his campaign and all the stuff that he does hasn't been affected at all by like the, like some of the trivial bullshit that can normally nuke someone's coat campaign. And he is like, in spite of his party hating him, like for the most part, just going to the people and using them to obliterate. Yeah, it's almost like a democracy. I just disagree with everything else that he's doing, but it's like, it is what you want a guy. What a politician, I guess. Yeah. No, I feel like I don't know his votes. I don't know. No, but it feels

like there's more deal making usually. And then like the kind of the powers that be sort of like a line around a person and like, and build them up and funnel money into them versus this really does feel like he was a powers to be just get rid of the current president and say you're out. We're not even going even gonna have a primary you are the president. It's advice presence next man up if the president's dead. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, it's pretty cool The 25th 26 what is the amendment where the the president's unfit? 23rd 25th something 20 I guess they apparently they threatened him with that if he didn't agree to stop running this Oh really and let Kamala run I have which is interesting because he's still the president right so I guess they didn't believe it

He's yeah, who knows he's doing yeah, I'm just gonna go with whoever dick Cheney and Liz Cheney You know, yeah, they brought us through the They picked us up out of 9-eleven I did! I wasn't even done. I was going to go to the whole Shark Tank guy. What's the Shark Tank guy? He was like, if we prosecute for people like this, New York's going to come to a total standstill. Because this is like common practice. Yeah. Like inflating the value of your property for loans and then deflating them for taxes.

Yeah. But the bank also ran their own, whatever you would call it, appraisal of that building. So it wasn't even like they just took what he said. It's just what he was saying. Yeah, and they still gave him a loan. He paid it back, and then you're gonna arrest him. And that feels like... Maybe a political persecution? Yes.

I don't know. In a real scary way. It is the hard part that I am dumb and don't know anything. That's the hard part. That's also the real hard part. I'm sure there's somebody that's skewering me right now. Because fuck, they don't know anything either. They're listening to this. They're listening to dumb guys that don't know anything.

Yeah. We could be on some, you never know. That's just what I feel like is the pushback to Democrats, which is like this, the idea that you've got to let smart people just handle it It's like but then you create a precedent for Something that you won't like down the road like for instance with Obama Sort of the bombing the indiscriminate bombing I suppose indiscriminate bombing I suppose

Bombings I suppose Violating walls and it's like well, it's Obama. It's like yeah sure okay fine I might trust him, but then you're setting a precedent that anybody else can be you know yeah, yeah and Kim Bambla Yeah. And Kim Bambla. Kim Bambla is coming. World War III is coming. Those are my favorite memes. It's like Call of Duty footage and it's like me and the boys in the battle of Beijing 2027 because Taylor Swift told our fucking dumb girlfriends to vote for Kamala Harris.

We're on a fucking boat in Taiwan. Fuck. Is he saying Kim Bamba? No, that was me. You like that one? Stop giving me. Stop. Give me credit for your average shit. You know what I was talking about today? I was like, you know who is incredibly good with puns and you hide it even though I know you know, he's smiling. It's crazy your pun game Kirby's cut it out about that Chris you acknowledge that Yeah, yeah, okay Chris has been around Yeah, I've been on the receiving end of quite a few of them But I was about the us being dumb thing. I

was, I was thinking about that in the car today where I was, I was like, man, I wish people thought I was like really smart. And then I was thinking about how bad it would be if people thought I was really smart. If people were coming to me with like real problems and being like, you're the only one who can set up that death ray up in my house. I can't set the death ray up. That's the kind of problem. If you got a death ray, I could set it over there. I'm going to need you on that. I bought a 10 foot tall fucking skeleton robot for the party. Yeah. it's gonna be exciting. Yeah.

A giant alien that looks around. I'm never gonna put that thing together. Right. So. Do you need a ladder for it? No. Pause, I'll get on my hands and knees. You can stand on my back, we'll be good.

There's no way. No, you gotta build it on the ground and fucking set it up. Or it's like one of those things where you like pull a string and it's stiff. What the fuck, so they build the pyramids. You and me came and figured out the logistics of the Spirit Halloween death ray.

People are gonna be, they're gonna watch this. Spirit Halloween death ray sales are gonna go through the roof. I walked into Spirit Halloween, I said, I have to have it. And then I got to the register and I found out how much it costs. It was not worth bringing it back. I was like, fuck, this is a terrible purchase. Dude, it makes galactic, terrifying galactic noises. Yeah, it turns out it's more of an alien than a spooky ghost, but that's fine.

Look at this guy, 10 feet tall. Whoa, that's cool. You're going to like it. Yeah. You're going gonna like what's going on over in my house, okay? That's gonna scare the goats. It is They're gonna get hit with the galactic death right the neighbors goats again They're gonna they're gonna have it was so much to put together on this fucking death ray dude. Look at this We're ruined oh man you're gonna do great and you don't need a ladder it's ten feet tall I'm gonna ask one bring my

mountain bike over to your place at one point you told me this yeah it's you're not gonna be running it around on my property all right fine please park across the street you don't want you don't want to see that. Obviously I want him riding. There's some holes in those. No, you're right. I know I was running around on it. It ran up that one Hill and it's there's some holes. I don't want to hurt myself. I would wear a lot of protection. You would make fun of it. It's something that like again, what kind of protection do you wear when I'm down bike, I wear like knee and it's a great exercise.

It's like hockey shin guards. Yeah. Cause if you, the pedals, if you have like a pedal, like if your foot slides off and slams your shit happened once, what about hurts? It really hurts. What about upper body? Elbow pads. And then I wear like full face helmet and you wear the full face. Yeah, I'm bad With the goggles. Yeah, I have to cuz it gives otherwise my contact dries out. It's too much

But you know what? I have fun and I haven't gotten hurt yet. No, that's awesome. Yeah, it's really cool. Shut up I like bike there and a lot of those guys like where's the where's the where are the jumps and I'm like, there's no John It's just a bad cuz a full face. You're typically going over. Yeah, they think you're catching it It's got to tell them go back. You got to go deep in Oh That's very adorable Have you ever gone? He likes the pillow Oh That's very adorable Not like not formally oh I've had a mountain bike and I've gone on some trails

He's I do I do want you to bring that all right. Yeah, that'd be nice. Just find some I'd like to see you in pads riding a bike around my property. Did I tell you that last Halloween? It's not that big. You're gonna do a lap pretty quick. Yeah, I guess. It'll be very fun. I was uh, like I did, I liked uh sort of practicing in my street right outside my driveway. You know like I have a cone set up. Set up what? What? Going set up? Yeah like cone set up to do swallow them to like practice your weight shift on the money your bike. Yeah, your neighbors see I was handing out candy and he's like how's the bike going? I'm like good good good Which means them and their parents sit in the window and laugh. Yeah. And watch me. Yeah. Have you fallen off the cone? No, no. No. Yeah. How fast are you going? It feels

fast. It's probably incredibly fun. I bet you're fine. I showed you that picture of me trying to bunny hop. I barely get off the ground because I think you got to go the video. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have this I could never bunny hop I could never ollie. I could never ollie either. I could never Sucked yeah Really cuz you know you wanted a bully skater kids and then not being able to ollie I Just want to be able to ollie. I just wanted to be able to ollie. Yeah, you don't want to bully anyone. No. You're a sweetheart. Thanks.

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Download the PrizePicks app today and use code drench to get $50 instantly After you play your first $5 lineup That's code drenched on prize picks app to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks run your game Yeah, now let's get back to that exhilarating podcast But more like Yeah, I had a long drive and a fight about Halloween costumes, yeah, it's nothing wrong with that How many more times you think you'll have that fight before we'll see how Halloween goes. Now I'm I don't I genuinely actually don't care. Yeah. It's just more of a might be weird. Yeah. The scent is you might want to have a backup. Yeah. What are they going to?

Because it's probably gonna be cold. Yeah. Sweatpants hoodie. I'll be there. Yeah. So here's a cloak. We got a quarterback jacket on the sidelines. Yeah. Yeah. We'll all go as mages. What do you, I've got to have something. I got to have fun Halloween stories. You go trick or treating. I told you I went trick or treating the one year when I was in Philadelphia Eagle. Yeah. And then, uh, I saw, it was, you know, like a split house, you know, the way the stair, well, whatever I door opens up guys coming down the steps. He's in a full gorilla costume.

And I remember seeing his hand going to like the glove of the costume. And it was just telling myself like, it's a man. It's not a real gorilla. It's a man. And then he started walking at me and I just like turn around, start crying and full Eagles sprinting away. Yeah. How old were you? I don't know. That was, I was probably five. My brother was Urkel that year. My brother was Urkel that year. Whoa. Did he go the distance? He went the distance? No, not the distance. No, no, no. But he would like perform it.

You had the little UNICEF things and he'd be like, how they put it in. He'd be like, do you have any cheese? Carl? Did he want the face paint? No. That never even came up. Damn. Thank God.

Because that could have easily happened. It could have. Back then, people were like, yeah, fuck it. Of course. Yeah. Do the whole. I was dice man that one year. That was the superhero I created. Oh, I thought you meant you went as dice clay.

I was like, no, no, no, no. You went as dice man. That's right. I one year when I was a prisoner, that was second grade. I had a. Did you go the distance on the prisoners? Cause then it might be racist.

You've got to make it believable. Yeah. And, uh, I had a big crush on my second grade teacher and she was also dressed as a prisoner. So we walked around the school and that, that was incredible. She one time I came in in the morning. She was like, Oh, I drove by your house, I guess your house the other day. Cause I saw you outside shooting baskets. Cause

I was like playing basketball with my brother after school. And for like a month I just played basketball every day. Just waiting for it. Just hoping she drive by. It's just like total hook fin stuff. Did you ever have a crush on a teacher? Yeah. What was her name? We had a Australian exchange teacher and I loved her fourth fourth grade. I spoke with an Australian accent the entire school year. Really? I loved it. Oh my God. Did you ever have like share a moment with her?

I mean we got ice cream. That's nice. But there was a couple other fucking cock box. A couple other fourth graders trying to cock block me. I feel like I was so bad at school. I like knew better. Like a teacher was unattainable for me. I never had a crush. Like I always, every interaction I had with the teacher was a fight or just,

you know, bad news. I never like, yeah, you were bad in school. Terrible. Like you're the whole time, the whole time you were dumb in like fifth grade. Yeah. That's tough. Not even dumb. Just, I just never did any of the work. Yeah Yeah, I just I like I couldn't do it. I couldn't be in class. I couldn't Like the whole fucked up. Yeah, the whole thing would just bothered me and then every once in a while I would like really like when I really got in, you know back against the wall I'd put together like a good semester or something but it was always my entire life Was just terrible in a surprising

Yeah, you're not dumb. Yeah. Yeah, but maybe you are dumb Tire friendship Like Chris is smart And I hear shit like this. I'm like you dumb in fourth grade. You know how you have to actually be dumb I just don't it's it's a lack of Well, I was never like at risk of failing out or anything like that, but I'm not doing that yeah, I just couldn't Dude, I remember taking just like the multiplication tests Yeah, you know to me where you just do like as many as you see problems do as many as you can in a minute

Yeah, the mad minute the mad minute minute. And I like, I just remember by number two, I was like, you're going too slow. You're never going to get to 60. And then it would just like, it just turned into like, I would just beat the living shit out of myself until 15, 20. Yeah. It was like, it it was that thing I feel like I have the same like problem too when I like when I try to remember something and like my if it doesn't come to me right away I start going like oh my god you can't remember anything you're gonna like I and all I'm thinking about is not remembering oh well like lines in a show yeah yeah that's impossible. Even just people's names

So embarrassing The worst is when something you think you you're like in your head you're like I got that yeah walking in a room be like Hey, yeah. Then you have to do it. I mean, I guess that's what acting is, but you walk in like, I'm sorry, everybody. I'm sorry. Everyone. I suck. Yeah. And you're like thinking about how you're going to be reacting to their mind, but instead you're just thinking of what your life is. Or you react way too early. We should put together that instead of a blooper reel, just how bad we all are at acting. It must be insane. John Cousley. I would just say slow down. Oh dear. What

they're saying. It's the worst feeling when like this person's not even done their line yet and you're looking at the other for them to talk. Yeah, it sucks. God. It's also funny how much better John is at acting. I know. I'm like, John, how do I do it again? He's like, I'll do it. And it's the first thing that pops into my head. The moment I fuck up is like, I just imagine John like behind that just like Yeah, Kirby's what else is going on there ah not much again, I apologize for being so boring don't we're all boring Yeah, it's you know kind of wake up. I go to my trailer. Oh, I so oh god well as a joke ish kinda no joke to yourself by yourself. No. Okay. It wasn't a joke. I do like the song, but a big man I put on that, you know, the trailers that Bluetooth you can put on, you can put your music on. Yeah.

Yeah. So I was listening to, I hadn't figured that out yet. I didn't know that I'm in there eating a bucket of scrambled eggs. I asked the guy he was like, what do you want for breakfast? I was like scrambled eggs. That's on the menu. He gave me every side was scrambled. It was all scrambled egg. There was no like potatoes or like, I thought it was a meal. Right? It was he put they put scrambled eggs in every pocket of the tray. Yeah, I got 10 pounds of scrambled eggs with nothing, no ketchup.

Just anyway, that was funny. That was the worst thing in golf story. I had a lot of eggs once. It was a crazy amount of eggs. It was a crazy amount of eggs. And he knew it was crazy. He said it. It was like he said scrambled eggs.

When I went to the catering thing, everyone was like, that's a ton of eggs. You gotta feel for that guy He's even fucking 20 eggs before he films. Yeah, I like the idea that he's like screaming at the runner Yeah, holy look at Holy a box of eggs right now. I Was late one day. You know, I get a call. Hold on.

What were you listening to in that trailer? Big Time. Big Time by Peter Gabriel. Wearing his robe. No, I was not wearing the robe. And when they put the robe in there, I said- We danced a little? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I was, you know, I like that song. But- I grew up in a small town. Everybody has small town ideas. Not me. I'm big time. That was you. Did it by my way. Yeah. I just imagine you sliding around like Tom Cruise in that trailer.

That's what I'm saying. I kind of have a little big time right now with Shane and whatever. Okay. So anyway, I get a call and she was like, Oh, just checking to see where you are. And I'm like, I'm on my way there. I thought it was supposed to be there at eight 30. She's like, no, or it was like seven 30. She's like, no, you're supposed to be there at like seven. Shit. And then I'm just thinking, I hope Shane isn't there, you know? Yeah. And by pulling, I see his car. I'm like fuck so that I ran it wasn't like a far away I ran just to like he can't even see me walking at this

And I come into the makeup hair makeup trailer and the first thing Ali says she's like, oh she's like yesterday Steve came in here. He was like I'm having such a good hair day He's like, I'm having such a good hair day. I was like, Ali, shut up. Tell us something. I have to tell everyone. You were having a good hair day. We're having nothing but private conversations when I talk to you.

You don't get related. I don't like hearing these stories about you. That you're this confident, like, what are you doing? I like to have a good time. You don't? What? You hate having a good time. No, I like to have different times

of good times than you have. You know what I mean? He hates a good time. He hates a a good time. No, I like to have different times of good times than you have you know He hates a good time. He hits a crowd at good time, and I love a good time during the day outside Yeah Guys that don't talk a lot I Would love to see Steve forcing you to mountain bike Can't happen I Mean a bike could be I like that'd be fun But I will say I'm I would like to join I would like to go out with you and some strangers and golf and golf

Love to go with you. Are they hey, there is a lady you could go out She's so at so at the country club What do you think at the country? There's a terrible woman. There's a there is one terrible and everybody's told me This person is terrible and I had a run-in with her. Yeah, and she was just like really aggressive and rude There was a there was a frost delay. So everybody was kind of in the clubhouse and she's like, oh you're that guy from Netflix I saw you in a golf cart playing too slow park too close to the ground. I was like, what are you talking about? Really? Yeah. I was like, I play faster than you. And then she's like, no, you don't. And she's just rude.

You're getting in country club fights. You are Mr. Big. Well, apparently this one has been kicked out of previous country clubs. Really? Yeah. So anyway, it's that you don't have a permanent record. Why are they accepting this one is corporate owned. So the other one was like owned by its members. This one's corporate owned. So it's apparently harder to remove her. But anyway, this one guy was overhearing it and we were talking and then went up to the driving range and he comes up and I'm telling everybody about this woman. Everybody's piping in with their own stories about her. And then he goes, yeah, Steve had that interaction. Then he asked for a number and it just crushed. No everybody was laughing

Just the guys of the country club But yeah, she's something else man, she's a battle she is a battle I mean her again join forces burn that country club join forces in that country club. They're gonna be so happy if you come. I'm just going to come and ruin your let's get a foursome. No, I don't want you to ruin it to strangers. Who are your buddies? Yeah, I have two buddies. Get your best buddies to come with us. Okay. I'm going to drink an entire case of beer on the green everywhere. That's funny. Breaking. Did you park too close to the green?

No, no, not even a little. Not even stuff. She definitely is making stuff. She just out of nowhere accused you made up stuff. She accused everyone of stuff. It doesn't matter. No, I don't park too close to the green. No, I'm rules oriented too close to the green. No

I'm rules oriented was a sad was it paths only that day Was it best only no, I don't know Everywhere if it's passed only she's a crazy person. I have no idea what day she was talking about. Were you on the path? again What day? I don't know. Yeah, she didn't say today. She just said she saw you the other day.

Parked a Netflix. I saw you. Mr. Big time. She said a Netflix. You chirped back. I did. And I regretted it immediately. Nice. Yeah. I mean, I'm proud of you chirped back. I did. And I regretted it immediately. Nice. Yeah. I mean, I'm proud of you for chirping back. Thank you. Yeah. You should, you should

do a staggered start. You start first or she starts first. I don't care. It's beyond her ass and just, yeah. And see who plays at her. See who plays fast. Try to hit her with a golf center. A message. Balls at her see who plays fast try to hit her with a golf Center of message Yeah, can you do that can you can you find a particular slot after her and try to play through her just to demonstrate That you be your pace of play What's it can she hit the wall I have never seen her Physically good. She's been getting kicked out of the country clubs She obviously plays

She look like she older she is how old I would have to guess 60 old enough to be yeah not like I given the stories I thought I was going to see like a very old demented woman and it was like 60 ish put together? No

big dog yeah she's going wild yeah I would have if she was hot this would be nice She's hot this is a totally different vibe. Yeah, you're gone. Yes. Yes, mommy. I'm sorry mommy. Yeah, you wanna play together Yeah, and you're saying the car girls are ugly you said that car I Didn't say wrongly No

This lady wait hold on a second good you said the court girls He said all the guys at the country club laughs they say the girls are ugly I said, what do you mean? You said that they're not hot. Oh my God. You said all the guys at the country club laugh and they say the girls are ugly. I didn't say anything. They said they get it. Why are you acting like this? Because I did. Did I say it?

I don't know. Maybe you did. That's the problem with corporate ownership. Are the car girls hot there? I don't know. Have you never seen them? I try not to look too much because I'm 41 now. I don, you know, I don't want to I don't like being that guy It's like oh, do you see that snapper or whatever it is? You know

Fuck calls it snapper. It used to run chuckles comedy You don't you respect the car girls yeah, I try you don't look at them I look at I just say I like this, you know But when you look at them, you would tell car girls. Yeah, I try and just, I just don't. You don't even look at them. I look at them, I just, I go like this, you know. But when you look at them, you would tell pretty quickly if they were attractive or not. Yeah. Are they attractive? I don't have great vision.

No, no! No, no! I really don't try to. This is gonna get out at the country club. No, don't do that. You're fucked. No, no, no, no, hold on a second. I would love to take this country club from you.

You're gonna. You need to get me into a real nice one. You're gonna have a meeting at the, at the club. The big dogs are going to be there and the ugly car girls and they're going to, we got to get the big dog. I love to say it's a country club full of attorneys. We can't get this person out. I'd like the idea that you show a lot of attorneys there. I like the idea that you show up on Saturday and all the current girls are hot. Yeah, we heard Mr. Big Time doesn't like how attractive the girls are. We're about to lose them. Yeah.

They never have Uncrustables. They don't have Uncrustables? Never. Have you ever had one? You've never had one? No, I've had them. They never stock them. At the country club?

At the country club. Are they sports too? Yeah. I thought it was all just like nuts and pretzels and no no they have uncrustables and never stock them oh so the uncrustables are gone it's probably the big dog I'll tell you what if we get if you come we get pair with the big dog I'm drinking with you yes that I would do how come you can't drink because I'm drinking with you. That I would do.

How come you can't drink? Because I love golf. It's just like, I don't want to, I love it. And I don't want to be buzzed doing it. Yeah, you don't want to disrespect the game. It's not even disrespect it, it's just like, I- You just want to play your best. Yeah, and it just, I feel like a kid again.

One or two might loosen you up. I know, I've heard that from a lot of people, but- Fucking alcoholics. There's a frost delay and people are like, I know I've heard that from a lot of people but fucking alcoholics There's a frost delay and people like well, I guess I'm having a long island ice tea it's like damn Yeah, you well you got to at 9 at the turn you got to reevaluate Yeah, every time he goes this thing's not going You got to mix it up I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a tournament. Yeah, when I don't know I think it's past but yeah, we do Oh, give me give me the date. I'm gonna turn that into the waste management Holy shit, I keep forgetting how popular the pack like yeah, you could bring people out We could have a nice meeting the dog we can bring we could have a dogs meet up at your country club tournament Oh my god, is it is it gonna be make it public? All right next just ugly fucking car girls serving us. They're not I would not know

You don't know about car they're pretty great I didn't didn't know. I didn't know about that. Beautiful queens I always thought the pros just handled my beautiful queens. I mean very young Yeah, high school kids. Yeah now that I'm saying that I take it back. I'm saying I take it back. Yeah They are like high school. Yeah. Oh man, you're calling high school girls ugly No, I'm saying I don't even know if they're you know attractive or ugly given yeah Yeah, I look yeah, I died I nod I say whatever You don't have like a crossables

Tell everyone you guys are ugly Doesn't even have an uncrustful fuck I shanked it great. Oh Man I'd love to see out there. I'd love to go with you Cuz I'm gonna fuck it up for you, and you're gonna get unreasonably angry I would be reasonably angry if you fucked it up. Why you know it's fun to make a score I love like the tension of it. I don't think gimme putts. I love like making everything.

Yeah. Yeah. I understand the thrill of it. Yeah. Like, oh, I can almost beat my best score when I was playing with those old ladies. I was about I was coming. If I had parred the last hole, I was going to shoot an 80.

Oh, damn good. And then I 90 was a quadruple bogey. Two weeks ago. Oh really? Yeah. You choked. I know I talked to that briefly. They know the state. They knew. I tell everybody like that. I'm playing with what's going on. So builds attention. What did they say to you after you triple quadruple bogey the last? Oh, you couldn't find it. Cause like, you know, I obviously I hit one over. Yeah. It was just you and

old women golfing. Yeah, you're charming them. Weren't you? They were charming me. You were having the time. That's your type of fun. It was so great. Yeah. They were so nice. They just like keep poking the ball forward. I love that. And then just worm burners. Yeah. Yeah. And there's one. This one hole. It's like really hard I got a got on the green too, and she turned it she was like, where'd you go? I was like, I'm on the green She's like, whoa. I was like yes They were just isn't that nice. That's how I think it's great. That's wholesome fun. Yeah, and then you went home and pounded your cock Not porn you find on red. You fucking deviant. I like poor duality of man. It really is the duality. I got a nice score. I found a new genre on fucking. Do you ever look at like thumbnails and think, Oh, that's for later? Yeah. Cause usually you might have that idea of like, Oh, that's for later. Like you're saying next beat or

we're going to keep this be going. I'm going to start with this and go to that. No, I'm saying for later. Yeah. Yeah. I, but then you come and you're like, I'm never going to Jack off again. Oh no. I was, I was saying if, well, I don't remember it. Oh, you're saying you see, wait, you're looking at porn when you're not jacking off. You're like, I'm keeping this. Yeah. Crazy. You guys do this sometimes. Do you know X videos? It's rare. It's rare. It is. So we have down Texas way. They took a porn. We'll see. I'm not a big porn hub guy. Cause to me that's all like, you know what you're getting Yeah, an X video card in there X videos throws a wild card and I'm into all that yeah, so sometimes

But yeah, they'll have some some some thumbnails that you go that and you're just when are you doing this? What do you mean? So you're not jacking off? You're just looking at porn correct? Where would you be in the world while you're doing something? Sometimes it'll be like in my like lawn chair recliner watching golf or something on TV tossing porn off I go to the website So, you know and you just you see what's new. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes Yeah, you know when you're not in the mood, you let it get you. It's not like I'm checking it like I'm checking for messages.

You know what I mean? I know, but I just like the idea of sitting in a lawn chair. I mean, yeah, I'm going to jack off. Yeah. All right. We've got that settled. Yeah. Because sometimes the search is so frantic when you're in the midst of it that you want. Sometimes you want a detached objective appraisal of what's out there doing this to it's almost like a mental joke. What? What? Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I remember Matt was always joking. Yeah. Yeah. Edging edging is more than you think. More edging. What's joking?

Joking I think is pulling your dick to try to make it bigger Actually stretching edging it. Yeah, yeah And you do this Definitely. Yeah every once in a while Where do you do it? Just like while you're hanging out on the couch or something? Yeah I mean, I haven't done is better not be doing this in public. I know I haven't done it recently, but definitely I used to I used to like when I was totally not in the mood. Just be like, let's see. I'm gonna be in the mood. Yeah Yeah, and you would find a video

Yeah, I got reservations later My girlfriend's gonna leave the house for 30 minutes. Oh, five hours. That is a lot of times at all. Of course. Yep. I know she's gonna be out of me gone tonight. Yep. No, it's me time. I haven't had me time in a while. Me time fucking forever. This is great. That is nice when you're in a relationship and you get to catch a beat yeah brings back the fun yeah no pressure man I remember this yeah you don't have to watch someone be disappointed it's nice that yeah you

don't like when you disappoint your lover? No. Why? That's just the funniest thing to ask. That's all, it was just a funny question to ask. Yeah, no, I don't. The way I look at it, she better get hers. Cause I'm gonna get mine. That's what the Bernie Mac said on that, is as funny as it gets.

He had, in his Kings of Comedy set, he has like a cuck joke. Which I didn't even know they were making those back then. I don't even he does it one at one part of the city. He's like He's like Y'all fucking for 45 minutes What you got to prove? Three minutes. Yeah, it's all it takes and she better get hers cuz I'm gonna get mine She's like I'm gonna go get a younger man go get a bitch

I'll watch. I'll be in the corner. It's like really good. That is hilarious. God damn. The Kings of Comedy. He's the best. Bernie Mac saids.

The Def Jam one? No, it's Kings of Comedy. Yeah, do you remember the one he said from the Apollo? Yeah, I'm not afraid of you. I ain't said from the yeah Yeah, I'm not afraid of you. I scared you. Yeah That could be a fun thing to rewatch is just the Bernie Mac show. Yeah, I'm sure it's great. Yeah Did that come Yeah, he's so best. Wonder what he's up to.

I wonder what he's got going. You know? He is. If you had to guess, what do you think he's up to? He's up to something. Yeah, he's always like working on something. He's working on like, learning instruments. I can't believe how good he is at instruments.

I don't know when he picked that up. Was that late in life? I think we had kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it's time to get out of the house a little. I can't believe how good he is at instruments. I don't know when he picked that up. Was that late in life or was that always? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it's time to get out of the house a little. Yeah, where do you find the time? And then he's always, I was dabbling a little bit. He always played guitar.

Yeah, oh really, like since he was a kid? Yeah. I was dabbling a little bit in that Jungian psychology stuff. I meant to talk to him about it. Like the the dark your shadow self. Yeah, I don't I don't like that stuff. You would if you like some of this stuff if you read it, of course I just like the ones that Affirm my beliefs. Yeah. Yeah, not Anything that questions it. No, I I I was I was reading this healthy way to live

Nothing challenging. Yeah, but this it is. They're like, uh, I was reading a book that I guess young had like put together with his, some of his students or whatever. And it's just, it's just page after page of it's like locker room, pump up speeches about just battling inner demons. It does get you fired the fuck up. That's good. Yeah, it's it's fun to That's how you get hooked in because they don't really make arguments that they're right. They're just like here's the thing Here's the thing. Here's the thing this thing. Yeah, whatever happened with you two you guys were intellectuals for a while Yeah, Sam Harris guys. Yeah, what you guys like space Elon Musk space guy. Yeah. Yeah, whatever happened

Oh you turned on him cuz he bought I didn't turn on him Sure, I still watch the SpaceX launches I saw them land the Super heavy fucking is fucking awesome thing on Elon Musk works a little People that don't know him at all. Like yeah, fuck that guy. It worked the hippies They did a good job of I don't know him at all. They're like, yeah, fuck that guy. It worked. The hippies, the media. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They did a good job of tarnishing his, I mean, not that he picked his side. He's out there doing some wild stuff.

But he certainly picked his side. Yeah. He's out there doing some wacky stuff. But I still like the, like, whenever he tweets that Tesla's doing well, I get excited. Whenever he tweets about SpaceX, I get pumped. You guys are intellectuals, though though. You're big Sam Harris man

Yeah, it's just yeah, if you're you're asking like what happened. It's the same thing. I think with comedy where you're just like I'm not good at this Honestly like I think you To try and have an actual an opinion on something It's really hard and not turn into to try and have an actual, an opinion on something and be like, you have to be educated, it's really hard. It sucks. And not turn into like a douche.

Yes. Who's just like. That's what you guys were up against. Yeah. You guys were about to be going toe to toe with that. Yeah. Because that's where the intellectual thing eventually goes. Yeah.

Matt does a good job with it because Matt's very funny about it. Yeah, but if you pursue the intellectual What are you gonna give a fucking speech? Yeah, it's brutal and Yeah, you know what your whole identity sort of kind of gets wrapped up in it to where it's really difficult to Getting focused on trying to change other people's minds sucks, I think

Getting worried about yeah, you're basically worrying. What's going on? Oh Worried about like yeah trying to change someone's mind sucks That's what I like Matt's Matt's intellectual stuff is personal. It's a personal journey. Yeah Especially because he's telling me most of the time and I'm always like yeah, I like that That's fine. If you don't like it. Yeah, I don't Talk about football. That's what people want our podcast. They want football. Yeah, but you do a little bit of the same thing What do you mean I feel like you you're like a historical intellectual I Thought I was till I open my fucking mouth on a podcast and then read comments

Yeah, I don't know shit. Yeah, but yeah, do they know anything? No. Yeah commenting on the internet Yeah, sometimes you got to read a story about a guy and then some people know yeah Yeah, everyone's while a dork will fucking drill you on YouTube fuck Adorkable fucking drill you on YouTube Fuck they'll put a link in there But then you get to be right once you read the thing yeah, oh you change your mind yeah, you're wrong yeah You grow you can change I'm still waiting for that day. It's kind of still waiting for that day. Well. I think we've probably hit a wall on this one. Yeah, we're deep Gerby's gonna Grow shit you're up to I don't I do like to hear about your sexual ways. I know

It's okay. If you don't have anything you've been busy. You're probably tired from work. It is that's I feel so bad I you haven't been able to pleasure your woman as much because you've been tired. It's yeah There's just no you just lay on the bed and Let her have at it Yeah, apologize Yeah. Apologize. Stop. Apologize about, I feel like you hit it right on the red on the head. So our whole day is doing something that we shouldn't be talking about. Yeah. And then the rest of the day, I just, I look, I stare vacantly. I've been watching Harry Potter. That's it. That's fun. It is fun. Harry Potter double door dies and snakes the fucking man. I know that I know that going into it is Sadie

told me she was like we're watching Harry Potter. He's Chris never seen. I was like double door and you actually did not know that I knew Snape was a good guy. I knew Dumbledore. I think I took all the stuff I've sort of seen on one level of another but I haven't like actually watched the movies And they're pretty good are fucking rules. Yeah, they're really good order of the Phoenix was fucking awesome And fucking Dumbledore fucking hit Turn it just appearing with the Phoenix. I don't remember which ones are which I remember I farted real loud during a Harry Potter my friends loved Harry Potter So we would go to like the midnight showings. Yeah, and in Harry Potter. I hit a nice fart on a silent moment

It became a thing. I liked to do is fart as loud as I could during and it was this is back Movie theaters are packed. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah, it's very fun It's hilarious silent moment for yes. Did you get a laugh? Yeah crushed. You get a big laugh One of my favorite videos ever is a guy you're at risk of shooting your pants now, you know My favorite video is a guy farting during Oppenheimer When they press it it's like three It's just silent before the bomb goes off the video guy farting like six people are at the theater There's a guy in the front all the way by himself like

Wonderful because they wasted the movies 90 hours long and they finally got the most important part of guys like yeah, it's great Fun stuff means soda went to a Downsender movie theater once when we were on the road I always thought those were fiction they exist everybody everyone working their head down so like popcorn guy oh take a guy everybody and which was great they were pumped every you go in they're like what movie you gonna see? Yeah, I forget what it was. They're like fucking incredible Best picture I think We got in there the guy farted real loud We were fucking dying laughing like that for out the whole movie

we're laughing because it was just it was an empty we were we're in like Albany New York or one of these places on the road and Just during the day saw movies So the theater is empty other than awesome like a guy like three rows behind us And he farted so we were howling laughing the rest of the movie We couldn't stop laughing and then at the very end I looked back up when we were all getting ready I was like who did this I can't wait to see this man, and he also was mentally Zipping up and down Should have been making fun of that guy. Yeah, dude, I bet that place ran smoothly. It did.

Yeah, they were hyped. Yeah, everybody was happy to work there. Yeah, it's that's heaven. Popcorn soda, popcorn soda, stoked on every movie. Yeah, every movie for free. It kept coming in to watch the movie. Just a mop coming in for 45 minutes. Shit.

Gotta go back to work. It's a good, good gig. Yeah, damn. Well, that's good. Yeah, we'll get some more. We'll get fired. We'll get a daytime one. Okay.

Where we're a little more. Yeah. We'll think of something funny. We could get Kyle on. She's under the weather. Everyone's fucking sick. Yeah. There's gonna be some rough takes this week. Kylo is sick as fuck. There's gonna be some lines in the show where she's like, all right. Well, we'll be back. Yeah, we'll get it. We'll get it next. We'll get a daytime. Maybe a weekend one weekend One would be nice through a couple of bruskies to bruskies in there. Yeah

so Three My god just like it I don't know how you know if it's all right, I'll have a pretty easy All right. Yeah, you don't have the best time of your life You take four days off and go, what the fuck? Being sober sucks. I'm going to get fucked up as soon as Friday is done. And then it's also a help if politics comes up.

You don't look to the floor and go, yeah, it is complicated. No, you stand here and go, hey, listen, you're a fucking dumbass. I actually, no, I listen to Tim Dillon. No, I was jealous before. It's almost like when you're single, jacking off is kind of sad. The same way like drinking when you don't have really worked during the day is kind of like, damn, what am I doing?

Now you worked it Monday through Friday, you go, I gotta be sober. Friday's gonna fucking rule. You know what I mean? It's back, the thrill is back. And Saturday can rule. Saturday's gonna rock, dude. The Halloween party?

Yeah. I might kill you at the Halloween party. Yeah, you gotta kill me, yeah. Sunday is the real, that's the question. Sunday, I almost fell on Sunday. I was just sitting by myself watching the Eagles. I had that fridge full of beer for the night before. I was like, I could, I could have a couple.

I got a text that was like 7 a.m. call time. I can't have one or I'll quit the show. That's this, yeah, the scary, Sunday is the scariest because you go, I'm so hungover. One would actually help. Just one. One would actually level me up. Holy shit, I'm back. Two is gonna make me feel even better. We're rolling.

Alright, we gotta stop. Kirby, you gotta go to bed. I gotta go to the gym. Nice. You're jacked this season. No, I'm not jacked. You're gonna be the most handsome guy. I feel so much better if I... Of course, I'm not getting clothes. Taylor. You're going to be the most handsome guy much better if I Course. Yeah, I'll leave you alone Alright, thank you. Steven. Thank you seem really sad about this

I cuz I I know how like much you're carrying here and I don't I'm not carrying anything. Yeah This is yeah. Yeah, we'll get another one going. All right. Yeah, what are you talking about? You carry this with your golf stuff I gotta I gotta come prepare with a list Really? Yeah, I gotta do better for you. I got you better for you. You'll be able to think of some stuff All right, we'll but we'll make well you and I will make a list next time. All right All right compare notes. Thank you everyone. See you