Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 530 - Novak's House (feat. Brandon Novak)

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Brandon and Buy His New Book @ https://brandonnovak.com/ Go See Matt Live in Irvine CA Next Wknd @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com - New Tour Just Announced Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/ Heyyy guys. Special bonus ep for you. A TGIF treat. Cusky was blessed by fellow PA (baltimore) dawg Brandon Novak. They talk gettin sober, skating stuff, and more. If you need help getting sobes hit up Novak, he's the man. Please enjoy. God Bless.  ps might have an extra special treat for you guys very soon :) 

Mr.. Novak how you doing, bro man? I like the mister. I've been trying to be way more respectful lately have you mister Yeah, the mister was just fucking pissed me off fuck you. You don't like a mister. I love me. I just feel like I Feel like it's like an authority figure. You know I don't I You don't like a problem with like sorry authority and conforming. Where's the authority problem you think come from my fucking father? Yeah, but I was a crazy drug addict Hells Angel guy But he was still authoritative he was still like in his own demonic fucked up way You know like he was really disconnected from reality and he lived in his own world and his own world looked like He rode with the Hells Angels and and everything wasional, a business, while under the influence of crack or fucking meth.

And so like, he, you know, he was the guy that like, he would come home at 2.33 in the morning and when he was awake, the whole fucking house was awake. And everyone was going to wake up to sit on the sofa to watch him and his biker buddies party. What? So, so authoritative in that approach I see what you're saying. Damn. I thought I had a problem with authority I just have an Irish Catholic father who spanked my hiney and I'm like, yeah For me you cocksucker That's what I'm saying I'm like I have a fucking authority problem

I must be nothing cuz I think that is real the link to authority problems It's just a relationship with your dad and my mother's go-to my whole life As a child growing up. She's like and when I just couldn't figure out fuck about shit She's like, you know, we should put you in the Marines Think I want a fucking muscle jack fuck waking me before I am to 5,000 push-ups you can fuck off Yeah, that would spaz you I have a one of my mom's someone like my mom knows got dishonorably discharged Just I from what I heard of just being waking up being like get the fuck away from me And they're like dude you're out of here dude that is that approach does not work with me

Yeah, I wouldn't think so well cuz I already am wired with like if it doesn't make sense to me. It's wrong Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, so like right out of the gate I have a lot of shit going against me cuz a lot of things don't make sense to me so I walk around like wrong wrong could do better should do better. But yeah, so it's what I've learned in life for me is that it's all about approach right and today it's much easier for me coming from a position of simply understanding as opposed to being understood. Yeah, you know so like I just accept you for where you're at, the jarhead for where he or she's at, you know, and just it's cool.

Yeah, that was something that blew my mind during COVID. And I mentioned this before, but I still can't get over it. Like I would, I didn't realize how much I did this, but like, especially during like, like, so before COVID, I didn't know that I was really doing this, but I go through a supermarket and like every person I saw saw it would just be this like weird invisible battle in my head Where I'd be like this fucking guy fucking pussy jerk off for you a lady And they're like fucking chicks not even how is she looking at me now? She's not fucking bitch like yeah, you're doing this like crazy maniacal thing in your head

And then kovat it came to a fever pitch because there was like the mask first no mask and then it was like yeah It was just like it just all came to a head where I was like, dude, why am I this stressed while taking a walk? And I started doing a thing where like, when I would be out at a grocery store, I would really focus on not having like a silent battle against people. And instead just like wishing strangers well and like you were saying, exuding that, whatever that energy is. Dude, I felt so much more comfortable in public after that Yeah, it was like it was like a revelation for me. I love Being right-sized by humanity It just happened to me recently and I'm really good at like again

I really have dove into this whole spiritual aspect of my reality and believe you say you're right-sized. Sorry What do you mean? Like? My ego will allow me to create these delusional narratives that aren't even fucking real. And then when I'm proved wrong, when I really believe I'm right, I'm like, dude, I am a fucking asshole. And it just happened, you're a Philly guy, right?

You'll relate to this story. I had a crazy weekend, I was in New York, all kinds of stuff going on, I drive back, and I have these weekly dinners at this place in Fishtown Sunday nights. And you know, Fishtown is kind of oversaturated with a lot of hipsters. And in my mind, hipsters are just kind of tattooed, bearded, angry people for no fucking reason. It's not like they lack resources or whatever. I create this narrative. So I had a long weekend and I'm trying to park under the L to go to this restaurant I go to

and there's this ice cream truck and it's fucking just submerged with hipsters getting ice cream and that's cool, right? But as I'm doing the Street Point turn, someone in my back seat is like, oh, he's fucking pissed, dude. He's gonna fucking, he's got a problem. So now I haven't even seen the person.

I'm ready and I'm like the most fucking passive aggressive. Like I cringe at the thought of confrontation, but if you caught me on the right time, I'm like, it's fucking on. So as I'm parking, I see him and it's a hipster with tattoos and a beard who I already have created an issue with, but I don't even know this person. And he locks eyes with me as I'm hoping he would

so we can fucking get to it. And he goes, oh shit, you're so and so. And I'm like, yeah. And he goes, dude, I fucking love your work, man. And he had a camera in his hand and he was taking portraits and stills. He's like, can I get a photo of you? He said, what I do.

And I'm like, dude, fuck yes and fuck me. Right, because I walk around just like at times Yeah, and and that's what I mean by really enjoying being right-sized cuz yeah, I have a job Sometimes it consists of knowing everything right and and that places me in a lot of positions that I don't really like to enjoy Yeah, we say you have a job of know what do you mean? Because like, you know for so long when I was caught up in a dick addiction, right, when logical people who knew how to stay sober would suggest to me what I might wanna do in order to save my life,

I'd suggest why they should fuck off. Because I knew, I knew, I know, I know, I know. I was too smart for my own goddamn good, right? And then I got to this place where the pain became so unbearable. I was able to look back and recognize that every common denominator and every one of my problems was me. And maybe if I just get the fuck out of my way, I might stand a chance of living a better life. And what I do know is that I don't know.

Because when I think that I know, there's no open mind, I am not teachable, and I'm definitely not willing to try anything that I don't agree with Yeah, which just sets me up for a fucking You know all these terrible so yeah, take me back through that so that what was like? How did you? Like what's your story like how did you get in that obviously you're saying like you know family or you know home life not great and then like Eventually to like you know gaining a ton of notoriety like what was that like for you going from like the beginning to like the thick of all that stuff? Well, it was, it's, you know, it's a very interesting narrative and storyline, I believe.

Because I come from Baltimore and you're obviously from Pennsylvania, so there's a lot of similarities at this table. But coming from that home life of a pretty chaotic household and a father who was pretty out of his fucking mind I believe I was genetically predisposed to addiction or alcoholism and that paired with the atmosphere I was brought up in it just made sense yeah but throughout that journey I was blessed with a skateboard and I fell in love with skateboarding and and another guy from Baltimore named Bucky Lasek yeah who played him on Tony Hawk for sure. He's not fucking Man, he's really and he was from Baltimore. He kind of recognized the talents I possessed

so he took me under his wing and Got me sponsored by pal and and that's where the skateboarding world took off But then we would go to cheapskates in Pennsylvania this skate park What was it boards and blades or boards and blades was later on? Okay, that was right off route one right there. I was a young boy at boards and blades I would see like Bam yeah, we come through and I feel like oh we filmed like some of the CKY shit there Yeah, like the stunts and stuff. Yeah, naked Dave doing an ollie over the pyramid and then Bam I think kicking her or punching or something like that. Yeah, that was always legendary

You guys are coming. We were like 12. We were like, oh dude fuck. Yeah Trying to do one heel flip like this fucking rules. I'm gonna get sponsored It's it pro board coming I get this heel flip. Yeah, they're coming spitfires coming for me Need a manager at this point too overwhelming But nonetheless, so I meet Bam and then we at that skate park called Cheapskates, which was clearly before your time.

Boards and Blades was when you started. Where was Cheapskates? I don't know. It was in Pennsylvania and we would drive up. And Bam would always be there and he wasn't sponsored at that point. Bucky and I were. And we were, instantaneously became thick as thieves.

And we'd practice for this once contest every year, which was the NSA's, they'd have it in Bricktown, New Jersey. And either he would win or I'd win. And one year I didn't show up, and he was there, and he went to Bucky and he's like, yo Bucky, where's Novak? And Bucky's like, I think he's on heroin. And Bam, at such a young age, was like, well what's that?

And not such a young age, like 12, 13, it was like 16, 17. But when you're consumed in a nice wholesome life that revolves around skateboarding and a good family, you don't have conversations that consist of those words. Yeah, sure. So it was at that point that his career in skateboarding totally excelled and took off,

and mine went to complete shit, and I chose to pursue a life of heroin and addiction. Fast forward some time later, I'm really sick one day, I can't come up with any money, but at this point I wouldn't even acknowledge a skateboarder, right? It was like, it was the equivalent of like looking at the woman you like get away, the love of your life.

You're like, dude, if I just did a little like, so it hurt me like that. Yeah. So I'd avoid skateboarding like the plague. But one day I was really sick and I couldn't come up with money. So I decided to go to this skate shop in Fells Point called Select. And I asked when I get there to try to get some money, like, we're not going gonna give you money, but Bam was here yesterday with the toy machine team and he asked if we ever saw you, we said no,

and he said, well, if you do, give him my number. So he leaves his number and a couple days later, I call and it was the number to Fairman's Skate Shop. Yeah, yeah, I watched yesterday. Yeah, and I call Fairman's, right, timing is everything in life, I call Fairman's, it's not even his, it's not his house, it call Fairman's right timing is everything in life. I call Fairman's It's not even his skin. It's not his house. It's Fairman's. I'm a homeless heroin addict I pump in some change into the to the fucking payphone, right and not this change is like my lifeline, right? So I got my finger on the thing. Like if it don't answer I don't get

money So I'm like but Dave answers. He's like yo, he was just here. he's next door at Kuma, which is the sushi restaurant in town. He's like, hold on, I'll go get him. So he goes and gets him, comes back, and then that night I'm on a Greyhound bus from Baltimore to Westchester. And he's like, yo, come live with me. At this point, he had done the CKYs,

and then Viva La Bama had just started, and he allowed me to be a guest on the show and Started to get paid by Viacom and I could do all this shit. I just couldn't I could have a credit card I could live at his house rent free. I just wasn't allowed to do heroin. Okay, that was the stipulation No problem. I was cool with like coke and alcohol cuz that was like I wouldn't steal your shit when I wanted more coke Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. So so that was kind of how I like and then throughout that process Ben would always be like, you know, your stories are like the fun He always loved the the positions I ended up in as a direct result of my heroin addiction

Yeah, like like letting gay men shave my asshole for rent money and fucking Let men blow me for more dope and just getting stabbed in the head with an ink pen and fucking like all this nonsense So he's like yo You can live at the house, and now I'm starting to get appearances in jackass He's bringing me along and he kind of calls me like his walking television but He then one night we would go to killed errors after a rap we'd rap for the day Casts and the crew would go there and humongous table of like 40 or 50 in a bar.

And he'd like, tell this story, tell that story. And you could literally hear a pin drop. And it was then that he's like, yo, you're going to write a book. Now I had not graduated high school at this point. I had no GED. I had nothing. I had no part of ever wanting to write a book. He's like, you're going to write a book.

He gives me a notebook and a pen. And he like, you're gonna write a book. He gives me a notebook and a pen and he goes, you're to carry this around all the time. He's like, I don't give a fuck if I don't even see you writing in it. You have to have it in your hand. The first time I don't see it in your hand, you're going back to Baltimore. So like the scales of justice were very equal there,

easy to weigh out. Like homeless in Baltimore, let men blow me for heroin or carry this fucking notebook and pen around and write my story And still be on a TV show drive a car credit card paid by Viacom blah blah blah and you were maintaining sobriety like relative sobriety no no not so he would like I Never was allowed to do what I really wanted to do, which was opiates. Whether it was like Percocets or heroin, that was very frowned upon and he made it very

known to everyone in Westchester and the people we worked with to not give me any. So people listened. But nonetheless, and the second book that I wrote, Streets of Baltimore, really dives into this, the psychology of an addict or an an alcoholic because I knew that I'm being presented This golden ticket right I can become this household name making money I live in this fucking mansion drive a car blah blah Yeah But I know that it's only a matter of time before the rug gets pulled out front of me like because I can't stop getting high

Yeah, so he's cool with the coke and the alcohol and because and they don't really understand addiction at that point. But like inside of me, I can't wait to get back to Baltimore to fuck. So I'd tell him lies like I have to go back and get my favorite pair of jeans and I'd fucking go back and end up there for three weeks and just lost in Baltimore shooting dope. So he'd kick me out, I'd go to rehab and a lot of wash, rinse, repeats of that. Sure, yeah. Later on, he then comes with this new idea, I'm gonna write this book, I have no desire to write a book,

but I had read a book called A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, brilliant book, and I love the outline of that. So I'm no fool by any means, and I went and I just copied his outline, and I wrote a fucking 12 chapters, pen to paper, right? No laptop.

And my co-author is a man named Joe Franz, who made all the CKY videos, filmed the Viva La Bams and Jackass. And he did not want that job. But Bam was like, dude, you're going to do this because no one to work with me. I was like, I was not a good fucking employee. Yeah, my behavior was rather er erratic to say the least. But he made him kind of do this. And then a year later, I'm like,

oh, I think I'm finished. And Bam started reading. He's like, dude, this is really something. So then he gives it to Joe. Joe turns 12 chapters into 23. And we get a literary agent off of Bam's manager, finds me a literary agent, shops around, and it gets fucking picked up

and it does like really really well. What was it? This is your first book right? The first book. Dream Seller. Dream Seller. That's a nice title too. Which was fucking, I mean that's what I did for a living right?

Like I'd make people believe the unbelievable. I'd build your hopes up to like make you believe that like it was gonna be different this time. Just in hopes for you to believe in me enough for me to get some cash out of you. To only apologize and just a wash rinse repeat Yeah, and that's kind of what my life looked like for a long time But that's how I ended up in all these places and doing all these things that what I didn't know then that's really rad now is You know, that's life. It's it's live for and learn backwards Yeah

And and I didn't see that I was kind of being tasked with this fucked up position of addiction or alcoholism to then be later on blessed with recovery and use the very same platform that I gained notoriety from as being just as fuck up drug addict alcoholic to me and this guy that's like, yo, if you want help, like I will help you. I have all these avenues to like get you out of where I once was Yeah, can you put that into words?

I always I'm always kind of fascinated by that when it's like because it is obvious to anyone who's not on drugs We know someone was on drugs. You're like, dude, if you just don't do drugs, you won't have as many problems and they're like I Have to do them. Sure. Like how do you what is like the thought? Is it even a thought process or is just like it's like a genuine just like urge at that point in time for me I Got to a place in life where any Person place or thing that stood between me and a bag of heroin must and will go and it was never personal It was just business right because I have a good guy with a great heart And I was raised by a loving mother who taught me to

show kindness and compassion to humanity. But don't catch me when I'm withdrawing, you know what I mean? So it's like, so what, you know, I own treatment centers today, I own sober living houses, I'm totally emerged in that world and the truth of the matter is, you know, we are amazing people that have been diagnosed with a deadly disease that makes us make terrible decisions. That's the reality of it.

At least my story. Yeah, so you're saying like, I'm starting to process of like, having I guess that urge versus like, you know, like you said, in some way you kind of know like yeah this isn't gonna go well. So I remember. But you just have to, I have to do it. Prime example, we're kind of getting into it a little bit before we got on.

I had just done a year in George W Hill Correctional Facility, right? Right. They let me out New Year's Eve. I'm living in Westchester and I have an amazing fiance at the time who who's now my ex, because they continue to get between me and drugs, so they had to fucking go. And she's moved our home while I was incarcerated, she redecorated it, really tried to love my addiction out of me, and I wanted to be done with it, I really did.

That night I was released, I called up one of my buddies who rode with the pagans who party with us in Westchester and he brought over some Percocet 30s and a couple Xanax. Now I had been sober for a year up to this point and I'm on parole, like I know what the deal is if I fuck up. I find myself in Ryan's pub in Westchester cause I live right on the street, and I told my chick,

because she'd watch me like a canine, I'm like, I just have to go up here to say hi, whatever, and I go, and I'm in the pub, and I'm sitting on the toilet, and the toilet paper dispensary is to my right, and I crush up two Percocet 30s and a half of Xanax, and I have it in my billfold, and I'm about to put it in my nose and sniff it,

and I'm literally crying put it in my nose and sniff it and I'm literally crying. Uncontrollably crying. I can't stop crying because I know that as soon as I do this, I'm going to begin that behavioral pattern that takes me where I don't want to go and makes me do things I don't want to do, but I can't control myself. Yeah. You know, like there's no room for logic at that point. Jesus, man. And that's kind of what my day in, day out

looked like for a long time. Yeah, that's a good explanation of it. Because I know it's not like a thing with words. It's just kind of like, you know, you also don't. It's like, it's pretty fucking rugged, man. And I remember that night. I'm in the bathroom I'm doing this and and I could hear people out in Ryan you know where Ryan's isn't and they're having a good time They're waiting for the ball to drop. They're laughing. They're fucking playing

They're cheersing and I'm in the stall just crying uncontrollably with a fucking rolled-up bill up my nose getting ready to sniff Yeah, everything. I love away Oh, and that's that's what addiction is yeah as a whole But it never it didn't start that way you know yeah How did you end up starting to do heroin because that was like a big jump from like? Like was it the pills first it was the fucking hallmark progression You know the alcohol the weed stealing the herb from the know, the alcohol, the weed, stealing the herb from the dad and then the blow because he sold a lot of blow.

Things just progressively got worse, but mine was genetic. So I have a mother who was a nuclear physicist. I have a brother who is an attorney who works in the White House. I have a sister who works in the hospital my mother ran, but they are by a different father. I'm the only one by my father. He was an addict and his father was an addict. So I believe I was fucked from the gate.

But the thing now is that like, it's like, you know, my poison has become my medicine and like, it's turned out to be the biggest blessing that's ever happened in my life. Yeah, that is the thing. I feel like addiction, it's almost like a weird spiritual practice if you think about it You just kind of like rather than like meditating you're just getting so fucking high all the time Totally life just collapses and then now you have to really kind of give people I think a deeper appreciation for life I think they make it through as much as the thing right because here's the reality and this is why people are so just like frustrated with battling the disease of addiction And this is why people are so just like frustrated

with battling the disease of addiction. Statistics state, theoretical evidence dictates that I or anyone else that is sober are to be high or dead, right? Like the data collected, the analytics fucking from all over these studies that are given states that the majority of people die as opposed to fine sobriety.

And I remember getting out of my last facility and, you know, Bam was always a constant theme throughout my life. And I stopped over and I saw him and he's like, what the fuck? What was different about number 13 treatment center? Why not 12 or 10 or six or four or three? He's like, what did you have, like a meeting with God or something? And I didn't say it to him because it's just too much for one to grasp, but in my mind I'm like, yeah, I kind of did.

Really? So then that's what I've heard before. That was, wasn't that what AA was founded on? The guy Bill. Bill and Bob, yeah. Carl Jung and he was like, bro, either find God or you're toast. Yeah. In a way. So, so you know I'm not religious. I don't particularly

Care for organized religion sure, but I'm insanely spiritual and it's like Where's my spirituality if I judge your spirituality so acceptance acceptance is the answer to all in world for sure? But I didn't understand that see the answer to all in world. For sure. But I didn't understand that. See, the truth of the matter is, and this is a blanket statement that I'll make for anyone that's in addiction or in recovery,

is that we didn't get here because we took the short bus to school. Quite the contrary, we end up here because we're too smart for our own fucking good. And then I land in a seat of a 12-step meeting or a treatment center that literally has the ability to save my life, and I fuck around and out think myself right out of it Yeah, right because recovery is one of those weird things that works so well people stop fucking doing it

Yeah, think about such a mind fuck. Yeah, right So what I didn't know is that like the last thing I tried was the first thing that worked Right because I was just too smart for my own good and I wasn't quite willing to buy into the process. It worked great for you guys, but I'm a bit different. Yeah, that's everyone I've known. Totally. I'm not one of those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

And at the end, when I was optionless, literally I was homeless, I was moneyless, I was friendless, I was carless, loveless, just that was me. I had no other choice but to buy into the process. I didn't even wanna do it then, I begrudgingly did it, but like fuck it, I have the time and no one's expecting or requesting my fucking presence, so let's run it. And the craziest thing happened is it started to work.

I experienced the 12 steps and what happened throughout the 12 steps is I had a spiritual experience and the definition of a spiritual experience is simply a psychic change. Meaning that I, Brandon Novak, today no longer look at things the way I did then. Do you remember what kind of kicked that off exactly or was it just kind of like... Pain. Pain. I had to end up in a place where the pain was so fucking unbearable Yeah, like like to where my back was against the wall And I I had nothing else to do to get myself out of the position that I had created for myself How long did I take how long did I take of like doing heroin fucking well my overall? Resume with alcoholism and addiction was 22 years. Okay. Wow, so but you know the last

Ten were really bad. Yeah, what so what did that look like in terms of like that? You're saying like the personal pain was it like like obviously like there's probably physical discomfort and all that stuff But like just like alienation from everyone you've ever known We like kind of like kicking yourself over like how much better things could have went like what was like the real primer? all of the above but What I didn't know then that I know now is that each one of my attempts at trying to find recovery were not failures despite me thinking they were because like I would I would use in treatment I get kicked out I'd leave I'd use the same

day and as any blessing happens to anyone it happens unbeknownst to us right like if I knew when and where a blessing was taking place and I was to report there to receive said blessing, I'd fuck that up. Right? So like I had to be put in this place where these seeds were being planted unbeknownst to me. And then finally on that day where the appropriate amount of pain was created, where it became so unbearable that I was finally willing to do what I had never been willing to do, which is become open-minded just long enough

to pick that phone up, ask for help, and then the craziest thing ever, but fucking follow through with it. I started to see that none of this was what I thought a failure. It all played its part when it was supposed to, so that finally when the opportunity met the appropriate time,

an event was gonna take place that was gonna create this outcome unlike anything that I could wrap my feeble mind around. And I saw on my way into that last treatment center, it's like the skies parted and I walked across the sea and everything they said made sense and just like it hit me And I knew that like I get it. It makes sense now Yeah, it all makes sense. So you knew even just heading along the way there. You're like just something Yeah, because they would be like dude you You know I own facilities now and my favorite thing is to run groups with my clients

and I can't get enough of that. And I'm like, who in here thinks that you're in here because of drugs and alcohol? And the majority of them raise their hands and I'm like, you're all fucking wrong. That's not why we're here. The drug and the alcohol is not the problem. So right out of the gate, no wonder you keep repeating your behaviors because you're fighting the wrong fucking opponent.

You're in the wrong ring. You're going to lose every time. Right? The problem is the thinking and the attitude and the behavior, right? So as long as I continue to repeat the behaviors, I'm gonna repeat the outcomes where I end up in a place where the only answer is a shot of heroin

or a glass of wine. So once I realized the alcohol is the solution, not the problem, I've now identified who my opponent is, it's my behaviors. So I had to change my behaviors to change the outcomes. I started to then gain a better understanding of the reality of my situation. And what I learned is the reason why I got beat so bad

is because A, I always underestimated the opponent that I was up against because I was the great I am. And B, I never gave it the time, attention, or respect it deserved. Yeah, and you're talking, when you say that, you mean like yourself basically? Or like, because it sounds to me like it's like, like you were saying like, to have fucking heroin,

keep making me fucking do it, when in reality it is like it's yourself. And nobody, even without drugs, nobody wants to admit that they're a complete problem. Exactly. And again, this isn't, just substitute the word drugs for whether you're things porn, sex, food, shopping, gambling, fighting, fucking, whatever. Yeah. Right. These are the solutions to the problem. And you were talking about it during COVID, right?

Yeah. Prior to COVID, you'd walk around with all these narratives of these people. And then all of a sudden in COVID, and it made me think of it, we were kind of forced to be with ourselves, by ourselves, to look at ourselves, which is what we avoid by fucking, fighting, betting, shopping. You know what I mean? And then I start to look at me, which is why I got high for so long, right? To escape the shitty reality I created for myself

as a direct result of continuing to shoot dope. And then finally when I got into a place where I could start looking at me, I realized that I'm the problem, right? There is no third part. And the longer I think that there is a third part as to why I am this way I'm just the victim so now I'm going to drink because of my shitty life

And you would too if you had a life like mine. I'll justify why Right the brain is the fucking problem in every area of life. Yeah, dude it does it can fuck you up man You can yeah, I can really fuck you up. You can do anything and just be like Get something in your head like I'm not good enough Totally and it just snowballs. Yeah, it's kind of fucked up. It's the same But if you if you you're aware of it, then it's worth its weight in gold Yeah, and now like the longer I stay sober the more work that I do It's amazing what I do know is that I don't fucking know and I don't take credit for any of this

Yeah, how long you been sober for? Coming up on 10 years. Oh nice, it's been a while. Yeah, and now all I do, I dumbed my way into this shit. And now I always say I came into sobriety as a king, and I worked my way up the ladder to become a humble servant. And the more people I help, the more I give away, the better my life is, the more I gain in return which makes no sense Yeah, right like in any business transaction if I give you something I have I'm to walk away with less in this weird magical

Spiritual world of recovery anything that I give you I'm walking away with more Yeah, dude that uh I remember that was like a weird shock for me you and I I used to I went to school for social work for a while a couple years ago and And I would get like inmates housing that was like a thing I did for one of the field placements And then there was this one guy who's fucking painting my ass He'd always like call me and just be like you're not doing shit Sure, he was under the gun because they were gonna take his kid a bunch of shit if he didn't find appropriate housing and

And I remember the day I found him a house were both in this place I called him up. I was like yo, dude We got it and he it like we both were so happy and I was like that was such a funny Yeah, for something so dumb. I mean it's a big deal. It's a house But I remember like I won this like comedy contest and I was like this is it and then I got the guy house It was literally the same feeling again. It was the same exact feeling of like timing and opportunity to create a beautiful outcome, but it is a weird thing I was like a weird thing for me when I was like oh you can get just as happy for doing nice things for people

As you can like, you know achieving some sort of yeah any monetary fucking victory exactly It's like it is honestly I would argue that like when you when you do something like awesome for a person I think it feels better than if you like if you just like kill it in some way with like a sales thing straight up Yeah, and you know, that you just like kill it in some way with like a sales thing. Straight up. Yeah. And you know, and that's the thing. No matter how much, for me, what I did for the majority of my life is I just like rearranged the furniture on the Titanic. Right? For years.

And I swore that this way was going to be the proper placement to make sure my sip doesn't sink. And I would always do that. And then I learned that like, it is what it is. Stop over-complicating a simple process. Because the world kept right-sizing me. And I just kind of, I took me out of the equation. I thought less and just did more. Because I surrounded myself with like,

people who genuinely were also really good people that were just trying to make humanity a little bit better today than it was yesterday. Yeah, that is a nice thing. And it's one of those things too, it's one of those things I think people sneer at, they're like, hmm, making the world better. It's like, what the fuck else are you gonna do, dude?

Yeah, you have. Just be a dickhead all the time. But it's like, I feel bad for, personally, it's like, so you have, you know, people, they go through, you know, drug addiction. There's like, this whole thing, it's like, you have you know people they go through you know drug addiction There's like this whole thing. It's like you know everyone even you know I would imagine your drug addict There's like a part of it like everyone knows I'm an addict people are talking shit on me everyone blah blah blah But then almost like you like you reach a point where you're like I don't give a fuck and that's like a very freeing Experience eventually whereas there's people who don't ever you know fall into a deep drug addiction

But they never get to really face their own self-defeating mental patterns. And in a way, it's almost like the person, in my opinion, who goes through addiction and gets out of that, ends up having, I think, a richer existence than if you never really have to face that or come face to face with yourself and really look at yourself. Because there's people who get through life

good on paper, but it's like, they're tortured. Absolutely. I always thought it was like a shame I Couldn't agree with that sentiment anymore. That's a spot-on fucking Yeah, because everyone knows who's in recovery is like they're very open. There's like a note You can and I almost like you can tell it's like okay this this person really has turned a corner because it's like something something switches and it's like it's a

Nobody really knows exactly what that is But it really is the only, the most consistent factor is having some sort of spiritual experience or like, you know, like an awakening experience. Studies show, studies show that people that do what other, studies show that sober people

that do what other sober people do in order to stay sober have better odds of staying sober. So like, there's not a black and white one size fits all and you can try another method or another avenue that could equate to the same result but I got to a point where the stakes were way too high and I was tired of rolling the dice and I kind of wanted to start working smarter not harder so I just bought bought into what the group does in order to stay sober. But the funny thing was, you said it,

it's all a thinking problem, right? And I always have this alcoholic brain that lies to me, my own voice. And it always makes me believe the unbelievable. And it creates these delusional narratives. And I walked around for years thinking that no one in this world knew that I had a problem but me. Oh really?

Yeah, like I thought that I was kind of keeping it contained. Just enough to continue to enable my behaviors, which is getting high, justifying the outcomes. So that's crazy. You really didn't think people were like hip to you at all. Not nearly as much. So I didn't, right? I thought that no one in the world knew that I had a problem but me. And then when I finally bought into the process, what I learned is that everyone in the world knew that I had a problem but me.

Yeah, that's awesome. I was the last person to realize, why? Because I possessed that job that consists of knowing everything. That's really funny. And I'm like, fuck. That's so funny. And that's what, again, right, I was ignorant

to the process and the reality of my alcoholism. Because I lived off of justification and minimization and deflection. Right? If only she didn't come home from work early, she wouldn't have found my needles on the table. If only the parole officer's fucking husband would have banged her out, she would have been mad and gave me a piss test that fucking got me dirty and sentenced me to six months Yeah So finally the craziest thing happened

I started to take accountability for my actions and started pointing the finger inward and and realizing that whoa Like it's me in my behaviors and I started changing my behaviors And I started changing the outcomes and I started to like the results I got so it snowball affected into this yeah Yeah, it's just crossing that like threshold even consider the possibility. It was so simple though. I missed it. Yeah, I overlooked it Yeah, dude. I think most people go their whole life without ever saying it What's the answer? What's the answer? What's the answer? If any of us had the answer we would bottle that thing We'd sell it would be a billionaire billion times over sure I believe it's so simple as just

Helping one fucking person someone took the time to stop and help me I in turn helped another To turn into four four turn into eight eight turn into 16 before you know it you're changing the narrative Which is ultimately changing the outcome? It's it's it's simple, just slow down the process and help one person. Pardon the interruption. This may or may not be Sean Gardini speaking. And this may or may not be Sean Gardini on camera.

Who is speaking and who is on camera is not important. I've come to tell you that Sean Gardini is doing standup comedy shows. The upcoming shows are in Cleveland, Ohio, December 8th, Buffalo, New York, December 10th, and Baltimore, Maryland, December 11th. Please come to those shows if you can. The tickets are at seangardini.com. Thank you.

Hear me out here. I failed to promote my shows in the Irvine Improv, SoCal. I'm so fucking SoCal. I forgot to do the ads or make a flyer for the Irvine show. Eeps, my bad. It's next weekend, Thanksgiving weekend, Friday, November 29, Saturday, November 30, two days, fo' shows. Come out to motherfucking Irvine Improv.

And I'll be honest, I'm not just saying this because I'm doing a out to motherfucking Irvine improv And I'll be honest not just saying I'm not just saying this because I'm doing a show I love Irvine There's Irvine was the first place I went to in California, and I was telling someone recently I'm like I fucking love Irvine and they lived in LA and like you love are you like are you kidding? Are you are you trying to be funny? I'm like no why and apparently everyone from LA just snubs Irvine like I would never fuck you guys dude Irvine rules LA's fucking bullshit Irvine we're talking Laguna Beach. We're talking motherfucking Newport Beach conservative-ass stronghold down there and SoCal dude shit Come out. I love Irvine. It's literally the first place. I went to in California. I I'm very excited to go there I'm gonna bring my whole motherfucking family. We're all gonna do Thanksgiving out there. It's gonna be sick. So Irvine improv Friday, November 29th Saturday, November 30th

Let's go. Let's show these LA fucking pussies dude, who's really fucking so Cal. They're not fucking so Cal. They're north of Irvine Yeah, so how did you get into the recovery homes? When did you start that and like what was that like? I had my get-well job was washing dishes for six dollars an hour in Levittown, Pennsylvania Oh, and I had a diner called Mary Ann's at 38 years old I'm busting suds in the back with a co-worker who's fucking 14 My brain told me that and this is after skating jackass fucking author. Yeah My brain told me I should have at the very least been the president of the United States Fucking busting sons with Brian here for six bucks an hour. Yeah, what was that like struggling? I had heard the word humility and it sounded fucking cool and it rolled off the tongue, right? But try swallowing that fucking thing

I'm 38 right now I'm 38 right now dude if I had to bust a suds Imagine fucking you leaving here and going back to Levittown, Pennsylvania to Mary has diners Shout out to Rich and they're great guys and The owners and and busting suds for six dollars an hour. Thanks to a 14 year old co-worker. How long did you do that for? One year That's long I had no idea what my next move was gonna be. Yeah, because my qualifications didn't state that I had any like, you know, special qualities. I know what you mean. You can't be like, yeah, let me hop on a TV show. Yeah, yeah.

We're like, let me fucking, I don't own a computer. I like, I skipped that whole, I went from skating to heroin. I wrote my book, pen and paper. I can pawn laptops, great. I don't use them. Even to this day, I don't email. I don't email. I got my first ever computer during COVID, I used it seven times and gave it the fuck away. Really? Yeah.

So are you all like, do you fuck with like the Instagram and all that shit? Yeah, I like that, but like the thought of an app gives me anxiety. I got what you're saying, yeah. And I'm just like stubborn by nature, so. So you're busting the suds for a while, then how did you get into the-

So, but I started like that job that I thought was so fucking beneath me turned out to be the foundation of Who I am today and and I think by social standards and regards. I'm I could be Considered a pretty successful guy. I have all these different businesses and properties and blah blah But it all came from washing dishes. I started to show up early. I'd stay late. I took pride in washing these dishes. I called out one day in a whole year

because of a snowstorm. Those behaviors started to change. Then my outcome started to change. I started to become self-sufficient. For the first time in my life, I was paying my own recovery house bill, $165 a week. I was buying my own groceries, my own cigarettes, not relying or depending on anyone.

Yeah. And I stopped like, and then what happened was, someone asked me to speak at a candlelight vigil, a candlelight vigil for someone who had passed away. And because, you know, the 12-step program AA, you know, it's anonymous. You don't know really what's going on there.

But when I spoke at that candlelit vigil for people who had lost their lives, someone had filmed it, and it started making its rounds on social media. And then an organization reached out to me, and they're like, would you like to come speak at our facility in Florida? And I'm like, sure.

And they put me up at the W in Fort Lauderdale in the penthouse. And I'm like, what the fuck? Are they gonna ask me for a donation? I wash dishes. And they had come up with this whole design. Again, the blessings taking place unbeknownst to me. If I knew any of this was gonna happen,

I'd fuck it up royally. And they had put together this whole plan and presented it to me. And I'm like, dude, I didn't even know this world existed that I live in today. And it just kind of gave way. And I bought into what they would say. And in those meetings, they'd say like, in order to keep what you have, you have to give it away.

Sure, yeah. This is cliche as shit. And I vowed to myself that when I was in a position financially, I was gonna recreate that sober living house I lived in. That's cool. And do for others what it had done for me. So literally on my fifth year anniversary,

I opened up my, in Wilmington, Delaware, my very first men's sober living house, called Novak's House, with 10 beds. And that has since turned into seven houses for men and women in Wilmington, Delaware with 75 beds. And I fucking travel the world and I have generous friends or just strangers that wanna give back and they occasionally stroke a check

and they provide money that I have in this scholarship fund and my mission is to provide a bed for anyone in need of sober living after completing a treatment center. I refuse to let price be a deterrent as to why someone can't get help. And then, unfortunately, the demand was met. I kept fucking expanding and I really wished that that wasn't the case and these didn't even exist.

And I'm like, dude, I can help more and I can be better. So then I created Redemption Addiction Treatment Center in Wilmington, Delaware. Well, in Newport. Right next to it. And it's an outpatient facility where people come during the day, five days a week or nighttime groups.

And I always tell people, I'm on par to create like a David Koresh Waco Texas compound vibe minus the gun and the fucking religion. But I wanna create this place where people feel like they want to be a part. It's all deliverance. Like I started this podcast. It's all with how you present something to me.

So what I try to do is is to create this whole fucking environment That people want to be a part at as opposed to feeling like they have to yeah What's what was your do you have any like when you went to any treatment centers? Did you have ones that you felt like here some people like I place a fucking scam They're just fucking taking my money like did you have any places you thought were just like? Some people are like, I place a fucking scam, they're just fucking taking my money. Like, did you have any places you thought were just like, churning people in and out, or you think that's just people's perception of the place? I think it's, and it's just opinion based, I think it's people's perception. The treatment center that I ultimately got sober in, people would be like, you'll never

get sober there. It cost me $2 to get into, it was a Catholic Charities program in Baltimore, and if you looked out, you weren't allowed to look out the blinds because if you looked out They were literally serving dope and coke and crack on the corner It was like a bottom of the barrel kind of joint Yeah But I believe it takes what it takes until it takes and who are you or I to say what it will be for it To take that makes sense between you and the maker of whatever you choose to fucking call it

Because they don't it's not like once you get to this appropriate Program they give you this secret pill for the cool kids. It's fucking Recycled rhetoric that you hear and all Yeah, that does make sense. I believe the perfect treatment centers whichever one you get sober in yeah, and I didn't have a say I didn't get to pick my sober date. Yeah, again. That's that was a blessing. They gave you the right massage Yeah, finally fucking gave me a happy ending with a massage and they played my favorite song I might turn me around and I come God and then here we are the spiritual fucking guru Fuck your way into recovery

Yeah, true. I wish there is a very unsexy element to it What you're saying like yeah, you can be in like a place that people think sucks really bad. It really is a holy internal process I'm a firm believer you can get sober in a fucking pub sitting on a barstool with a bottle of jack in front Of you if you're ready. Yeah, straight up What do you what do you think about like the California sobriety people do where it's like I'm California sober I'll like drink and smoke weed and shit and like dude. I just I did this TMZ thing They did a special recently, oh, Matthew Perry. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I read his book, brilliant book, by the way. Whole new found respect for that man. Rest in peace to him. But they were doing this hour long documentary, Harvey and them, and they reached out and they wanted me to weigh in on it. And they asked me the same question. And the truth of the matter is,

I'd be really ignorant if I sat here and pretended to possess the answer of like, how to live a perfect life with coming up on 10 years sober. That's like, my mother would be like, fuck you asshole, you should have did it your whole life, you idiot. So like, all I know is my narrative because it worked for me I'm never gonna tell anybody what you should or should not do

I believe with California sober with with mat suboxone subutex Vivitra method own if it provides you a life that you believe is worth waking up and getting out of bed for every morning without the thought of wanting to kill yourself, I'll fucking drive you to the dispensary. You know what I mean? Like fuck me for thinking that I have the answer. I just have my narrative. So what I always say is that when I'm kind of giving a talk or working with clients, if you can find more similarities than differences, it might make sense to pay attention. But if not, that's cool too. Because everyone at the end of the day, you're entitled to your own process. You were entitled to have that realization during COVID of being a fucking asshole of strangers that did nothing to you.

And if I would have robbed you of that process, you might not have come to the conclusion that you have today where just being kind is the right way. So looking back, if anyone would have robbed me of of one less fucking sleepless night I caused my mother or pain that I made everyone into like I might not be here today Yeah, that makes sense. So it's kind of a personal. Yeah timeline for everybody for sure And yeah, it's like and I'm not saying that my way is the right way. It's just my fucking way Yeah, you know cuz I know that's a big battle when I was in social work school There's like people who are like it's called like harm reduction source people who are like nothing better knock

I'm a big harm reduction guy. Yeah, and at the end of the day is like who the fuck like that's between them and their higher power Yeah, all of a sudden. I believe I'm God and I can predict what your fucking best outcome will be for your life in your situation I believe I'm God and I can predict what your fucking best outcome will be for your life and your situation. Fuck. Yeah, true. And I'm a spiritual guy and if I'm a spiritual guy like I say I am, where's my spirituality if I judge your spirituality? Yeah. Right, so like I believe my higher power is everything. I think it's crack. I think it's heroin. I think it's life, death. It's like what's love without sadness? What's joy without sorrow? Right, you have to have all these, without those fucking overdoses without life support without fucking ruining my life

I would not be the child of I hate to say God cuz people like all this religious fuck but A child of God today who I really like do my best to help humanity I wouldn't be here. I'd still be in that position of like what the fuck's wrong with you You think you haven't figured out you fucking idiot. You deserve what you get. Yeah, and that's where I'd't be here. I'd still be in that position of like what the fuck's wrong with you You think you haven't figured out you fucking idiot you deserve what you get. Yeah, yeah, and that's where I'd probably be Yeah, well, it is funny people. I've talked about this before but it is funny how that is like The God talks taboo now before it was like you couldn't talk about sex now You can be like I'm fucking jizzing everything If you're like you then hold me to moving at that point point true. Yeah, yeah But if you mentioned God people were like what the fuck?

Oh, and it's like a pretty wholesome, you know, it's a I think it's a very wholesome concept but it got tainted by I think people just being like Like the religion aspect of being like you're going to hell because you fucking for sure like that's a shame But but you need those people right those people are just as important as the other ones that aren't those people to make me realize how much I don't want to be like that because without those people I'll turn into that person yeah because I don't have like a warning sign or like yeah like who I don't I need the bad to remind me what I don't want to become so I practice good yeah and I wonder if that's if it's gonna like cuz it every even like religions like concepts God, like go through waves where it's like

we used to think it was like fucking fire, and now we were like, there's like the mythological hero of like there's these entities in the sky that we can like, you know, be like, hey, please help us. That'll like change everything. And then like that, around like an organized like testament of like, you know, this is the guy who came down from heaven and Amnita. So now I wonder if it is going regroup in some different conception that people universally buy into, or if it'll just be like a fractured thing forever. The older I get at 45, I see that things just evolve, but then just come back around.

Yeah. Like, you know, I was looking on the plane the other day and there's this chick who has, as you see, these new things are like the big headphones. Apple Pros. Where like your mom used to have it back in the 80s and no one's doing the air but Or it's like Miami Vice like fucking color schemes and chicks wearing baggy-ass jeans have now come back I know it's like just live long enough, and you'll realize that like shit's not that heavy Yeah, and it's gonna be okay, and the fact of the matter is you don't really have much to say

so in any of it anyways. Yeah. For me, that's yeah, that's what I do. And I just kind of remain like you know, uh, I don't know what I remain. It just depends on when you ask me. No, that's true. So and then, you know, I'm curious too. So yeah, you were doing the Viva La Bam stuff and all that stuff fell out like What so what happened with all of like all the people from Jackass you guys all you guys all still talk or like Where did like there was like a big falling out or like what happened? No, I mean everyone's good I was just with Steve-O in LA a couple weeks ago. Yeah, he's kind of doing his thing. He's killing it Pontius I love him. I speak with him and those two guys. I probably speak to more regularly than than the most

BAM is you know battling his own demons and Unfortunately because of that we seem to be in two different places where there's just not a lot in common at the moment for sure You don't really just pick up the phone and chat I think if I had to make a prediction of what would kind of connect us again, it would probably be skateboarding. That's always been the common bond and theme throughout our relationship.

Do you still skateboard? Yeah, but for my mental health now, obviously not like as like. Yeah, you just do it for fun. Yeah, I try to carve out time to to like just Get in the van and go with the homies and film and just like shut everything off That's kind of tight another like, you know Brandon Turner shout out to Brandon Turner. He's on the West Coast fucking killing He's a sober guy

A lot of skaters have become sober and they're kind of doing their own thing with recovery and I was talking to me yesterday We're gonna fly out. I'm gonna fly out there Kind of we're working on a project together possibly. So oddly enough, the ones that we used to party and run with and fucking go crazy with have now found this new way of life. It's really attractive, and we join forces to just kind of hopefully promote a healthy way of living.

Yeah, it is funny, especially if you think about the origins of like jackass was like the Possibly unhealthiest most insane way of living. Yeah possible and it was so fucking fun to watch it was awesome But it is funny to come full circle back now. We've all actually chilled out immensely and dude Steve-o is like so fucking sober there was a point in time where I thought about asking him to be my sponsor and I'm like Dude, I don't know if I want to get like that sober. Yeah, like he's like he's like Shout out to him, but he's like someone that motivates me, but he's like, you know what I mean? He's yeah Authentically like what you see is what you get and who he is is who he is and that does not waver no matter Where or what he's doing. It's it's it's brilliant. Yeah, it's pretty cool, man

And it's also one of those things, like, you know, sobriety, again, if you're just kind of kicking around, you're going out to get drinks every Sunday, you don't necessarily have, you know, like let's say like a problem quote. Yeah. It is one of those things that I think when you're, you know, drinking a lot or like partying,

it's like, it almost seems alien. But it like, if you really like strip it down from like, you know, take substances out of it, I always thought it's a really like, it's cool for a person to be able to remain with their thoughts in their own state Of consciousness rather than you know, you constantly escape it. It's like a stone. I'm gonna get that and you're constantly jumping out jumping out jumping out but I think it is a serious like a serious strike sign of mental strength to like And people do like sober October, which that must be kind of funny when like the whole world's like we're gonna be sober for one People do like sober October, which I must be kind of funny when like the whole world's like we're gonna be sober for one month But I've seen me do that so like fuck yeah, I'm all about it.

True true, but it's gotta be funny like ten years like oh, I'm glad you're having fun. For sure. There is something I think that is like especially the older you get it's like It does take mental strength to like sit with yourself You know not being able to kind of leave your consciousness like a little bit by to you know, doing like, I want to get a little high onto this, blah blah blah. And I think it's like it's a genuine virtue that I think gets skipped over. People are kind of like, yeah dude, fuck off, I'm gonna have a couple beers, fuck that. Like people kind of dismiss it a lot, especially when you're drinking, but I always thought it was like a,

it's pretty hard to do. It's like it's very hard to do and it's like it takes like, you know, you can't kind of jump out of yourself for a little bit, it you to work through you know the kind of you know whatever broken gears in your head I Make a point to let people know that in My programs right because the people that I'm working with they're coming in they have a week. They have two weeks They have four days. They have one day, and they're sitting in there, and they're feeling like they're they're not enough They could be doing more they They should be further along. And I'm like, look, what you're doing, the majority of society is not. Who wants to strip away their escape routes to be forced to look at themselves, right?

With themselves, by themselves, without having any drink or drug to escape the terrible reality that you've created as a result of your addiction and man up and fucking walk through it. I'm like, I will walk with you people. You people are the ones that I want on my team, right now. Like at fucking over 10 years and you are the people that I fuck with, right? Like, and there's a lot to be said with that because I don't just give my time to anybody.

So it's like, I really make it a point because I know in early sobriety, it's like those week, five it a point, because I know in early sobriety, it's like a, you know, those week, five days, 30 days, 60 days, it's like a, of sobriety, it's like a bipolar roller coaster ride from hell. You can be above heaven high, the wind can blow wrong, you're like below hell low, what the fuck just happened? So it's important to give people the credit of,

it takes a lot of work to end up in that position for fucking two days sober. And I always say it takes so much longer to get two days sober than it will to get two years sober. Yeah, I can see that. Because you're just sitting there looking at the clock and you're like, should I, should I not? Can I, can I not?

Should I say fuck it and just do it? Should I not do it? You're still consumed with the actual drug or drug drug you're just not partaking at that moment Yeah, and to make it through that to address all these ailments and start to look at you without an escape That's that's fucking big boy shit. That sucks and most people don't do it. I know and that's okay I need those people that don't do it to show me why I really need to keep doing it. For sure, yeah. Right? It's all perspective, because they told me at treatment if I changed my perception I could change my world.

Yeah. And I bought into that shit. Mm-hmm. You know, and believe it or not, they were fucking right. Yeah, no, it's pretty sick, man. I'm happy for you, man. It's awesome. Yeah, you know, it's like I'm stoked, I'm grateful, but who really is is like my mother, my friends, my employees, the police, the probation, the parole officers, the judges. Life has become a better place to be in with my sobriety, not only for me, but for other

people. Yeah, and you were saying the service thing's big, because especially when you're like, even with the route drugs, if you're just like living in negative existence, you're usually convinced, like, in order to conquer my own negative existence, I have to achieve at some level that just somehow, like, shuts all this down and people will realize and they'll like me, whereas like, in recovery, it's like, or you can just like help people. Yeah. And it gets the same thing. Like, if you're like lonely, like lonely It's like well rather than trying to be the man just go volunteer Yeah, and you'll get that like it's like a quick route into kind of like a social a nice social existence And everyone is just like no I have to conquer the world. Yeah, it's too easy

It's really fine. I always thought it was kind of funny. It's like it's just it's a simple fucking approach for an over complicated thinker Yeah, and that's why I say smart people generally have a hard time getting it. I had to dumb my way into this position. And that was through me being beaten into a state of reasonableness as a direct result of my behaviors. But it doesn't have to get that way, right? Like one of my business partners, I met him in treatment,

it was his first attempt ever at getting and he's remained sober really you know So it's like that's the frustrating thing most people were like well Why why can't my level get it at number one? Why does he have to get to 13 like you? It's there's no Black and white it's it's it's such an individualized process, and if you look at the statistics It's it's very sad because. And if you look at the statistics, it's very sad, because it states that you're not going to win. But I'm here to fucking say, like, fuck that. Not only am I going to win, I'm going to fucking kill it.

I'm going to own it, and it's going to turn into be my biggest blessing. And if I can do it, so the fuck can you. There's nothing different between us, except for what I was willing to do Yeah, I mean, that's yeah I'm sure that's got to be like it's really rewarding to like so you're saying having the groups and saying like even a couple people Kind of take off because I guess if you really look at the recovery homes is like if this doesn't work for me This whole place is bullshit or like for sure you gotta someone's gotta do some things What is it is there is like the opiate with overdoses going down are they still going up or like I'm not a big stats guy This whole place is bullshit. For sure. Someone's gotta do some things. Is the opiate with overdoses going down?

Are they still going up? I'm not a big stats guy. I don't look at numbers. I just kinda fucking remain ignorant to it and live in my own world. We don't hear about it as much anymore. It dominated everything for a while. After COVID, alcohol became a big thing. Oh yeah.

So I have a lot of alcoholics in my facility now. Gotcha. And then meth's making a pretty big push, meth me to push Wow come back a lot of people got off heroin or fentanyl with meth Yeah, you know I've heard I've known people who have like off the heroin meth comes into the picture And they're like damn. I'm actually super productive and then I do I work with the DEA I'm like a keynote speaker for the DEA at these summits that they have all over the nation and I Just doing an event with them in st. Louis and they were like, yeah cocaine is making a big comeback We're fucking busting down big shipments of cocaine. So

Kind of like how I said Miami Vice was cool. It all comes crack could be cool again soon Like that's usually how the world works. Do you think they should legalize drugs? You think that'd be easier to help people or you think it would make things worse? I I Think you know, I don't know about legalizing it, but I do believe in like safe injection sites And Philly was gonna be the first place to do that Yeah and then they shut it down at the midnight hour and Their fear was that like it could trigger others in the

Community to want to get high and I don't maybe that's the case But for me, I would never walk past the safe injection site and like I think I want to go in there and shoot up heroin Yeah, I don't think it would I think they did this in London or Britain whatever I believe it works in Sweden. I think maybe yeah And what you what I think would be beautiful Is you use it as a portal right they get it's a major harm reduction approach They give you clean needles clean water clean cotton And they test on and then they test the drugs and the majority of the people that are in there don't really want to

Be in there anymore. That's kind of what I lost. It's a lure exactly you're under like you're like a doctor's yeah You're being fucking monitored as you shoot up with some weird guy to make sure you don't die to inject you with narcan So at the very least when you do say you're ready BAM we have Avengers to get you Yeah, but but now check this out me being a major advocate for that right I? Own where I live in old city right in Philly and a really nice place and someone said to me They said well would you want it next to your house and I'm like, ah, no, yeah I'm just being transparent over here. So there's two sides to every fucking coin. Yeah. Yeah, that's true Yeah, then you know exactly with that you're gonna have people like pop a door. Yeah

Yeah, cuz you're like straight up. So I you know, I really just try to Yeah, cuz you're like straight up. So I you know I really just try to Remain like Switzerland in a lot of fucking place that makes a neutral and yeah and adapt accordingly At least you're honest cuz I heard people will be like I wouldn't care and it's like Yeah, you you yeah, yeah, you know that's just the truth of the matter now not saying that like You know if I if the opportunity presented itself, they were gonna do it I would still back it but in my mind and like but couldn't you just go a neighborhood over? Like I wouldn't vote no on I know you I know that way I would not vote no on it But I would definitely vote for it to be in the next neighborhood over for sure yeah

Everybody would yeah, so it's just you know. I don't know. It's such a Individualized thing I don't know what the approach is except for just taking the time to help one person. Yeah. That's it. One person. True. And that one person who helped me. Just think about all the heroin that I stopped injecting, all the people I stopped hurting, the one less needle that's being found on your kid's playground because I stopped shooting up.

Yeah, man. Like, it goes that far. It's crazy. And again, like you were saying, like like people you get kind of mired in the cliche of it But it is pretty nuts to think about that like if you know that guy that day had been like fuck him I don't feel like straight up you were saying your mom's upset, but you're burning bridges your ribbing shit off You're going to jail all the shit. That's like it's pretty crazy It's something ripple effect and I believe that that's the approach that will change the outcome. I mean it's it's Put it this way, so in Delaware,

where all my sober living houses are, my treatment center as well, we really wanted the community to see, because in there they said, well, we don't really want them in our neighborhood, right? I get it. So one of the stipulations with Novak's house is when it snows, you have to go out

and you shovel your neighbor's porch and their driveway, and like you be kind to humanity and society. And then that was working and it snowball affected into the guys and women living in Novak's house, they started getting jobs within the community. That's cool. And then the people who owned the businesses

that started hiring the Novak's house clients, they saw something different in them. Same thing that happened to me. I'd show up to work early, I'd stay late, I took pride in washing dishes. They're like, where are you, what's, because they aren't, it's just different. And they're like, where are you from?

What's the backstory? And they're like, oh, we live in this place called Novak's House, it's a sober house. And what the business owners within the community did on their own, I wish I could take credit for this, is they created a private Facebook page called Novak's House Hires. And if any of these businesses need employees,

they put a post up that goes to the Novak's House only. And then if any of the Novak's House people need a job, they put their resume or what their qualifications are cool Because like they're seeing the good that they're creating through the ethics and behaviors and like it's taking on a whole life of its own Right. So like it's snowball effects, you know it Then it opens the window for people wanting to hire people in recovery where where before it was taboo, it was shied away from. You don't do that, they'll rob you, they'll lie to you, they'll steal from you. I'm here to prove that that's not the fucking reality.

Nice man. Of all of, but like... For sure, I know what you're saying, yeah, it can be done. But, you know, the old saying is if you haven't been ripped off in AA, you're not helping enough newcomers. No, that makes sense, but that's fucking awesome man. Yeah, and again, I couldn't, I'm not creative enough or intelligent enough to create that. It's just me stepping out and letting the process play out. Oh, yeah. Well, dude, I think that's it man. Thank you so much, bro. I really appreciate that.

I enjoyed this. I'm pumped to hear about that and I enjoyed it too, man. I'm really happy to hear, you know, it's good to hear people taking their time to help the world like that's still a thing because I think a lot of people for sure just get so and it's not like a bad thing I'm saying I'm guilty of it to get consumed in the rat race. I'm the worst Yeah, I have to jump out of it every day. What am I doing with myself? Yeah, once you hit to that point where you hit the wall, right? Yeah daily. Yeah I wake up every morning with a brain that wants to fucking kill me on a layaway plan. Right?

Install a plan of just like one fucking defect at a time. Yeah. So, so anyone out there that might need help, you can reach me directly at 610-314-6747. Call me and if you need help with getting treatment. Nice. Well, thank you so much. Love you, brother.

See you, bro. Love you. Thank you.