Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)

Episode Date: March 18, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support N8 Meezy and Andy @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Good afternoon everybody. We're here with your weekly broadcast - a post St Paddy's treat! We're joined by our dear friend Nathan Marshall aka big unc. Shane's going to Europe tomorrow! Matt's going to Michigan! Go see them do stand up!! Matt also cut his hand pretty bad, but it's not a big deal. Please enjoy. God Bless. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup ps I 'll try to finish the lazer tag vid tonight - sorry I wanted to get this ep out first. pss the lazer tag video kinda sucks because it's really dark when you play lazer tag lol but I'm doing my best Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, wow, Wes you guys want to smoke another cigarette out there and yeah Shortly so it's good you wasted time You guys are you knew? Of course, you knew soon as Matt arrived you guys should have been ready and instead Lamar don't act like you're writing anything Time stumps Dude, by the way Remember last week when I was saying on White Lotus when the guy said swastika?

He did say swastika. Everyone thought, no it's swati da. It was swastika. I started doubting myself. I'm like, did I just hear that? I mean, there is definitely a Nazi frenzy going on right now. I started worrying. I go, what the hell?

Am I just hearing stuff? Are you starting to hear it? That's a dog whistle. That's exactly what a dog whistle is. Only you can hear it. I'm starting to hear the whisper from the nest. I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, it something. He's starting to hear it. I'm starting to hear it. That's a dog whistle. That's exactly what a dog whistle is. Only you can hear it. Oh, I'm starting to hear the whisper from the nest.

I'm like, what the hell? Yeah, it's coming. But yeah, no, he actually did. It was in the script because they actually interviewed him about that. Like, did you improv that? He goes, no, they put it in the script. Oh, damn. Instead of saying sawatida, which is like hello and whatever, whether Thailand.

Yeah, just random swastika. What? They're in Thailand. Yeah, he random swastika. What they're in Thailand Yeah, he was yeah, whatever but he did say swastika so Yeah, man, so I'll see I could say I'm not They are hot right now I don't agree with them. I don't agree with them if I saw that at my neighbor's You're fucking they're on they're on Teslas now. They're on Teslas We love Teslas We love Tesla Put on that Trump dog with that nobody say he basically did him and Elon did like a car commercial for Tesla

In front of the White House he goes we love Tesla They really did a car they did like a Tesla car commercial yes, I heard this and I again I haven't substantiated it I saw it was just two guys in fitness gear on Instagram. So this is my source. So definitely hard allegedly. That's where everyone gets their information now. Dude, these guys seem so confident. They're in a very cool room.

And they were like, well, obviously driving a Tesla reduces your testosterone by 18%. And the other guy goes, I mean, yeah, that's indisputable. The EMFs. They're trying to say the EMFs from electric vehicles lower your testosterone. And I can't get it out of my head I was in I got picked up one in the uber the other day and I was like

Guys selling testosterone or fucking make it bank Single podcast like yeah, would you have to say peanut butter and jelly? Yes that lowers your testosterone Alright All right, I think thinking about your podcasting lowers your testosterone I'm trying to hear guys talking about being men while talking into a fucking microphone Fucking tough guys doing podcasts these days Yes, literally the biggest girl thing you can do is sit there and gossip It's true in front of a camera

Dude, if you know how to like if you get a real man on a podcast or like and then I thought they like they're What This what you guys do You just talk here And then I told they like they're 10 feet away. They're not near the microphone. They go what? Is this what you guys do? You just talk here Yeah, if you get a microphone should be this far from your head. You should just stare nervously and go I Don't know is this good. What do we say? Yeah, you're absolutely right podcasting has destroyed the emf's coming from I don't even know what they are but those the party I'm going from podcasts. It's coming from tough tough guy podcasts Enough of it. I don't need them you think we need tough guy tough guy pockets

Like which what would you think? We're around we're talking tough who else is doing tough guy pockets every fucking person on the internet I mean all the country we have so many are tough guys that need other shit to do We're out of your well when Europe that's We have so many our tough guys need other shit to do. We're out of Well when Europe that's a problem when Europe gets tough guys You gotta watch their tough guys go pretty wild. Their tough guys rise up Meteoric pace just to the top immediately. We need more Teslas over there in Europe Teslas there. Yeah, the right wing in Europe. I don't read enough about it, but I think they're fucking heating up. They're heating up

He's on fire, yeah, that's how it ends Yeah Brothers in Europe chill Let us handle this shit. Yeah, doesn't look good when they do it too. They've failed too many times at it true Tough guy podcasts have failed there time and time again. True that. You would like the the book I'm listening to. What is it? I get like five minutes a night before I fall asleep. You talking about the one you fall asleep to? The Guns of August. It's very nice. I like that narrator bro. You would love how it started. It's World War I so it's just the funniest. Mystery. World War I is a total mystery. Literally it's just family. It's one family and they're all they're all related like the Kaiser is right

It's weird they're all family and they all have to like hang out together and it's like succession except it results in One of the biggest catastrophes in human history Yeah, dude, like how did that happen though? Like how did those like jealous of each other the Kaiser is like a small hand and he's like don't fucking look at my hand I think it was him or the star I forget They're like jealous of each other. The Kaiser has like a small hand and he's like, don't fucking look at my hand, fuck you. I think it was him or the Saur, I forget. Yeah, the one guy was like fucked up. The one Kaiser, well that was, was he Dumb 2?

Wilhelm's the one that you kinda pinned the entire war on. Shit. Which that led to. Wait, World War I started just because of a couple dudes beefing? Yeah, pretty much. Damn. You can boil it down to that.

That stinks. Well actually, it's a total mystery. It's I don't think it's I think that's the whole point of this book is the buildup to World War One. So there's like if you look into it, there's explanations. Yeah, but like they all say like, oh, they were cousins and stuff. But has anyone like looked into like how did it was that just like England trading somebody

to France and being like you married a guy? Well, World War I was basically the end of monarchies. Yes, I do remember that. So it was still that type of thing where it's like the Habsburg royal family. There's like families that you do trade. Sorry, I'm gonna throw up, I can't handle the Nick. Those are strong, bro.

I know, they get you. Yeah, spicy. They dissolve fast. But like Marie Antoinette, she wasn't French. She was, I heard, traded in a... Where was she from, England? I think Austria. Austria, that's where she was from.

Damn, dude, that must be cool though, to be like beefing with a whole other country and be like, send our hot fucking daughter. Send our fucking hot daughter over there, we'll chill. And if your daughter doesn't work to satisfy the nation you have to like Millions of men have to die within the nation's the people don't know shit. They don't like they're interacting It's like there's internet. They're all just sitting there and then a royal family will beef and be like Send the bros. Yes, and the bros seven million of the bros over there, you know, they did a really bad thing

You're just like what what did they do? They didn't fuck our daughter They said our daughter was ugly at a party didn't read it go ahead what you say that means like back then you like now we're bummed we have thought daughter does that mean back then they were kind of like thought daughter very American thing did not thought daughter is big in the world yeah and you go nice I'm gonna send her to a family I'm gonna get a couple barrels of fun man so we we're the ones who started caring about that daughter. Well I think slut daughter has always been frowned upon. Okay.

Dude, as a brother, your job was hot daughter. Okay, okay. Hot daughter was perfect. It was like fucking having a Tesla, dude. Yeah, it's like getting a Tesla. It was like a Tesla truck. Yeah. That was like a side bullet truck.

Hot daughter raises tea, from what I've seen. Oh yeah. Usually those guys get pretty jacked and angry. You have to. Yeah. You're gonna get pissed. Or it lowers tea significantly and you're like, yeah, she's gorgeous. There's two ways to go.

You either get jacked and get a gun and go I'll kill anyone that'll fuck her. Or you go, isn't she beautiful? She's dating the hottest guy. Yeah, I mean. She's dating the quarterback, isn't that awesome? Yeah, that's more mid daughter behavior if you have a babe daughter. You got to go way I gotta get jacked you got to get a divorce and get jacked. Yes, right away divorce right away You say babe, I don't have a problem with you, but our daughters is way too hot

We got dollars too hot we gotta split up. I gotta fucking focus on myself. I gotta get tan Now I gotta prepare myself to sexually assault a 21 year old man if I have to. Did you crossfit every day? Just a bulldog, a kid in his apartment, like post college, off campus. Did you watch White Lotus last night? No, no, no, don't spoil it.

Don't spoil it. I didn't get to see it last night. There's a nice story of a guy getting bulldogged. Really? You're gonna love it. Dude, it's so funny. My brother my brother Tom was telling me that he thinks and I haven't seen it so I can't comment on it But he was like Tom got hit with the ultimate taboo last night. Did he get hit by a big taboo last night? He was the Tom said it's the ultimate sex addict share. He was like saying like

Yeah, yeah, I can't wait to see I get bulldogged really Sam Rockwell Which one Sam Rockwell? No Appears just to talk about getting Just cameos just to be like I'm gonna get bulldog Yeah, I forget how he words it to he does use a funny word like that really it's not bulldog But he's like get piped out or something Something crazy This is a force bulldog in or like a consensual no, it's a consensual dog

Fucking sensual bull? No, it's a consensual dog Fuck you sensual bulldog It's consensual ain't bulldogging true it's not I mean you're consensual with the guy doing the bulldog and you have given a permission but You aren't consenting to what drove you to get bulldogged. Oh Consensual dog was a consensual dog He was fighting demons oh Did he thought one way to get rid of it was to get bulldog if you want to feel better about yourself Feel better about yourself sexually read like like sex addict like anonymous kind of like

Yeah, I'm reporting on like them falling to real sex addiction. It's harrowing dude It's crazy. Just like this just the shit they do to get I mean dude it's like yeah like like imagine instead of the podcast was like later babe and I was just raw dogging prostitutes and like worried about a and I really want to spoil it there's a soft white underbelly you can if you want there's just a story it's it's it's not like in integral with a plot in any way yeah I don don't care. He sits down he's like

they're like where have you been? He's like I found God I'm sober now. And he's like I moved here to Thailand. He doesn't tell say why something happened a crime. And then he moves to Thailand and he's like and you know me I always I had a thing for Asian women. So I started I was just buying women fucking them all day every day thousands of women. And he's like and then finally I started, I was just buying women, fucking them all day, every day, thousands of women. And then he's like, and then finally I started to realize maybe I, you know, they complete my other half. Maybe I should feel what it's like to be them.

So I started, you know, dressing up a little. Dressing up a little. Dressing up, trying on some costumes, getting plugged. Then all of a sudden he's hiring guys to plug him. He's getting plugged while he hires an Asian prostitute to sit and watch and he would fucking stare at her in the eyes Well, yes, what was he trying to get his pipe game better? Understand what what it was like he what I yeah, he wanted to feel what it was like and he was He said he was hiring guys that looked like him

So he could dress like a woman and feel like what it's like to fuck him size wise to so he could dress like a woman and feel like what it's like to fuck him. Size wise too. Didn't talk size. Did not talk size. I mean if he was going facial appearance he was probably checking size. But I would imagine if you're willing to

fuck a guy in the butt for money you have a huge donk. I have a small penis and I would never do something like that. That's true. That's why we have beautiful statues of us in antiquity. Of course. We were just sitting there like charting the stars Yeah, we were charting the stars I was trying the stars last night

You can see a lot of planets out there Oh, yeah, we have the app we have the I mean obviously did yeah, we have the app Did you look at the stars last night or you just fucking freak? No, I was inside all day all night It went out to walk the dog. That was it. Really stars were good last night. There's a special star day It was a special star day you get a ride A couple days ago. Yeah, so I didn't know if it like yeah big lunar eclipse I missed it. I was driving home from motherfucking Dallas. I know there's a lunar eclipse a couple days ago. Yeah, so I didn't know if it like. Yeah, big lunar eclipse, I missed it. I was driving home from motherfucking Dallas. I didn't know there was a lunar eclipse.

Yeah, it was at like 2.30, 2.34 to be exact. Thursday night. It was like a lunar eclipse and a blood moon, right? Like a red blood moon or something. Well, there was a blood sun due to the fires. You didn't see that? There was a red blood, blood red sun. Cause they had, it was this weekend. Cause they had fires in like Douglasville You didn't see that? There was a red blood red sun. Oh nice.

Because they had fires in like Douglasville or wherever. Fredericks. Yeah, keep going on Douglasville. Fredericksburg. It was in the new $20 Billsville. And yeah dude, it was crazy. It was a blood red sun. I know I heard about it. It was a blood red sun.

I know, I heard about it. I was afraid I wasn't gonna be able to fly in. Oh yeah, through all the smoke. Yeah, yeah, it was fun. Cheer the pilots who was going, piss. Join the high volume trend with YSL Love Shine Plumping Lip Oil Gloss. Formulated for maximized volume and 24 hour hydration, this gloss delivers a non-sticky, ultra thin,

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Nice. Yeah, just added a early show by the way, Thursday, please fill it up. But yeah, that'll be sick, my whole family. Now that I know if you land on water, your plane explodes, man. Yeah, I couldn't believe you said that. I was so confident being like,

wherever the water will just fucking glide down. You were like, nah-uh. I was like, bro, our plane's gonna, first off, it's gonna shatter on impact. In my head, I I was like you're so fucking negative. I looked at I'm like God Our planes definitely gonna explode and yeah, even if it did land it it'll They were like if it if your plane doesn't break into pieces on water. That's like that's literally the miracle Yeah, you're like a wheel grabs the water and the whole thing just like yeah canon

Yeah, that was That surprising I've been over bodies of water being like safe Yeah But you need a runway pretty much you need a runway. Yeah, you know, maybe a flat plane. Yeah, there's like a hill you're fucked Yeah, exactly speed bump. You're getting lost although the ramp though if you like landed and then Ramp the air would be sick the air you would catch would be kind of worth it You would catch some nice air you get your crazy. I'm gonna go for one second

Take off my mask For one second take off my mask Go see that fucking someone who's saying if the masks are just to get you high off the oxygen Just that's the case Let's break something else out heroin. Yes Drop a heroin dude at nitrous at least like come on now That's fucking bull dude to be like, oh, yeah, we're giving you like a boardwalk oxygen bar Yeah, that's actually a good point They should there should be a second mask because sometimes they just drop the mask out of like depressurized. Yeah

Yeah, but they should give you a little anesthesia exactly. You know, I mean just like here something counts of ten Yeah, I would I would anesthesia my family. I would definitely just in case the one the pilots pass. Yeah, it's very swastika of you I'm gonna anesthesia my kids Play this thing out dude yeas His shit now is I mean I can't even he is dying on the craziest hill Being a Nazi. Yeah. Yeah, we're not even he's a Klansman too now. Oh, I saw that. Wait, is he? He wears Klan robes. Dude, the funniest thing was he loves Diddy.

Him saying, I'm a Klansman now. There were comments from black people that were like, all right, now I'm done. Like, where were you on the fucking Nazi shit? Like, you finally have gone too far. I was dying. Because ever since you said that, he's gone several steps beyond like he'd seen that comment I keep laughing being like all right. That's enough. No I think he's just fucking obviously he's doing yeah, I for a while didn't realize I'm sorry

I mean yeah He is taking the most hateable things and be like he's now being like did the audition is my favorite Where he was do you see the new audition for? Vultures or whatever where he wants to do like a live course. I guess not like his Sunday service I it could be a Sunday service I don't know But it's like he wants to do now a chorus of all black men no white men and you have to be at least the complexion of Diddy

Dark enough you have to be at least as dark Dark enough. You have to be at least as dark as his. Did he say that? Did he say that? No, that's his exact words. You got to be at least the complexion of Diddy, and he must be willing to shave your head and as volunteer, and you have to wear swastika. But other than that...

Other than that, he's going to get so many volunteers. Oh, for sure. Yeah. It's going to be in Compton, too. Oh, man. Or like this LA area. So yeah, I'm going to be on beyond lookout for that. That's gonna be a the funniest thing

But yeah, man his knees iced out now he's got the swastika ice fucking flooded on both sides too If you can't flow the other side of swastika There's no way this is gonna be the coolest thing I've not seen this. It's flooded on both sides. He's got an iced out swash. There's no way this is going to be the coolest thing I've ever seen. I mean, that would be an heirloom. Finding a jeweler to do that had to be impossible. You'd be surprised. Oh, true. True, a lot of them.

Well, now that's a bit of a, yeah, nevermind. I do what I say. Yeah, I mean, he's, it'll be interesting, man. This is just a phase. He's going to be on to something else. Yeah. I actually don't know if he got it. Oh, yeah, there it is.

Oh, man. Yeah, he was showing that thing off. Oh man. Yep. Yeah, you show that thing off Yeah, I mean here's the thing though if you can't float but if you can't flood both sides What are you even doing? Wait, so the other side is uh, is no diamonds. No. Hell yeah, it's all flooded out, bro He was saying if anyone else can't flood the other side of their swastika diamond The swastika diamond pendant He was calling them a loser. Said, what are you a fucking loser? Damn. Yeah, he's flexing, man. He's got a new size. New songs are out. You read the lyrics are pretty.

I mean, they're so funny. I haven't. Yeah. Oh, his new raps are tough to find. Oh, they're on Twitter. He's doing like vocal runs of like the lyrics. And it's like, again, he is a wordsmith, but it's just about him being a Nazi. That's so funny. Oh, it's a Nazi album?

I mean, the cover of the album is a giant swastika as well. He's fond of them right now. Hitler's ghost is gonna be sad when he finds out this is a bit. Yeah, true. You know what I mean? Because right now he's probably got his hopes up. For sure.

Yes. The one guy that would see that necklace would be like, ooh. Yeah, we. You know what I mean? Because right now he's probably got his hopes up. Oh, for sure. He's probably like, yes. The one guy that would see that necklace would be like, hoo. Yeah, we did it. Holy shit, that's sick. I knew history would look kindly on my ex. Yeah, it's, he's doing it, man. And you know, that's the, I mean, it is a good experiment.

Like, what if we just let all the worst stuff out of the bag and maybe it'll prove that most people actually are pretty level headed and they'll just be like, fuck, this is weird, but we feel confident this won't catch on, that's the thing. I think people are worried this is gonna catch on and people are gonna be like,

hold on a second actually. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's pretty wild stuff. God, Kanye doesn't get black people to start going around where swastikas That would be devastating. I feel like every I don't know if like black men Do you have a hall pass right now to be like dude? I just is my favorite artist I don't know just trying it out to Blackman kind of a Nazi hall pass for the next I think 2025 is all about the black male Nazi hall pass

All right, I won't say no Very reasonable prediction Was it I almost bought one of the Kanye West Sean John shirts though, okay What was the Sean John shirts? He made Sean John shirts like for Danny He's Lamar you as a hilldier yourself you gotta be just taking that is how you're taking notes on right now As a hill-dier yourself, you gotta be just taking that. Is that what you're taking notes on right now? It's Kanye's moves. No, I haven't paid attention.

I've been out of the loop. I didn't know about the full Nazi album. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're keeping it from them. I had no idea about the album. I had no idea about the pen. It might be hitting more of the white algos right now.

A little harder right now. Yeah. That makes sense. My algos crazy, dude. I'm the least xenophobic guy in the world, and I get nothing. I get nothing but just the craziest content. Yeah.

And you know, I watch it, but it's like, it's. Yeah, I watch it. It works. It works, I become hateful. It works really well. It literally is, it's like it's It works I become hateful It works really well. It literally is is all hate. It's for real. Yeah, and it works I mean, it's just it works is that it gets the most numbers every fight Seven million views and then I watched it really like it was like a genuinely touching video of like It was like a bunch of like young black kids about to fight and this old man came up again

Do you see that? Yeah, even a speech, like what are you doing, blah, blah, blah. I checked the view count, it was like 200,000. Then it was just a lady getting socked in the face, seven million, I was like, dang. Dang. No, that stuff works. It's like the lady who fucks a thousand guys in a day or whatever.

Yeah. That content works. It kills. It makes you angry. I saw a clip of her sitting on the ground, there were like guys in football pads behind her, like a team, and she was like, are you guys ready to turn my tight end

into a wide receiver? Yeah. Yeah, we'll fucking do it. I was just looking at it going, fuck. Maybe they'll rise, the thousand men slut ladies. Everyone's worried about Kanye and his Nazi army. What if those ladies rise? That's a problem.

They're putting together an army. They are, dude. They could send those thousand men. One of them's pregnant. One of the slots. It was fake. It was fake. Well wasn't she like raising awareness? That made no sense. She goes using my platform to raise awareness for pregnant ladies. I'm a lady. Yeah that's some bullshit. You shouldn't fake being pregnant. That's not right. I agree classic Why was she faking what a fucking psycho lady to get clicks? She just posted a video with her with a fake Yeah, she had like a fake pregnant belly on it was like I'm pregnant and everyone was like see that's what you get

Fuck you dumb bitch. I'm gonna fucking kill you bitch. You don't think she just got rid of the baby I'm sure well, she would have showed that fast either. I got trade. I'm fucking dumbass. I should have known that You never know when they filmed the original one true or maybe once ago and perhaps before that thousand-man gangbang She was maybe up to some other lewd acts before that no She's pure as the driven snow that's all never that's the world 2030. It'll just be Nazi men and thousand lady slut gangbangs We're in for a rough But can they they cannot coexist you gotta pick a side either skinhead black Nazi or? British thousand slut lady

No, that's the next war Those two cannot coexist ironic black Nazis versus our our own black nazis verse literal hundred thousand gangbang ladies What that's a weird arms race because then someone's gotta go There's got to be like a like a speed of sound kind of thing like someone's gonna hit the absolute limit Or do you try to work it where like like how if a thousand a day? I'm still kind of like I don't think it's too completion Or is it gay guy gonna step up and go this is how guys do it. Yeah Yeah, we're all my motherfucking sweet boys that man. Let's fucking

Fire this up sweet boys will get it going. We can't have them crushing the record Although that could be one of those things ever see when like, you know guys You're like this is the women's powerlifting record and just crush it. Yeah women might that might be their record man I don't know. I don't know if a dude could break a thousand guys in the butt. That seems like it would actually kill you. In the buts-la. Yeah. I think you would actually die.

From what? A thousand guys. From a scourge? From God? Yeah. A thousand locusts sent right here by locusts? Get bulldogged a thousand times. Yeah, they will get struck by lightning just explode

Yeah, man, these are there's definitely very confusing times right now True Yeah, got my green shirt. Oh, yeah. Yeah my whole family We got it we decked the deck the kids out today gave him the little like beads in their braids Orange white and orange wine green is pretty sick Yeah, we Irish them out. It's pretty sick. I didn't realize that's why you're wearing that. I thought I thought it was just a cool shirt St. Patty's is a really fucking sick shirt. Thank you. You got to break out a celebratory claw true really fucking sick shirt. Thank you. You gotta break out of Salvatore Claw. But true.

I gotta get a white cloth for St. Patty's. I gotta stay off the booze. I went to a kegger yesterday. You did a kegger yesterday? Yeah, I saw the group text. You guys were in shambles yesterday. What happened? Well, I didn't do nothing but a good time.

What time, Meze texted at like 4 p.m. and was like, I'm already fucked up. Oh, yeah, I did the roast battle last night. Just your first show. Oh Yeah, and I was drinking. Okay. Yeah, did you get roasted or you judge the route was judging that's sick Yeah, yeah, it was pretty fun. I get anxiety thinking about those things. Yeah, just being up on a roast battle I've just just get demolished and be like no seriously you're being a fucking dick I'll fucking fight you right now? This is bullshit Even judging to catch you one like fuck you

Fuck you man That actually hurt my feelings I finally got to meet Alexis Fox. She was one of the judges Who's that? That's the lady who gave me the flashlight. I finally got to meet her. Oh, it's all a flashlight or her specific? Like her specific flashlight. Did you go up to her pussy felt great? No.

What did you say? I said did you go up to her and go, pussy felt great. True. She broke you off a little sample. I'm a huge fan. She's very nice, ladies. She was nice. She was so nice. That's a smart gal. Take the stress off the real one. Be like here, fucking. Pull it out. God. Give it to the thousand LeMaires. No. What were you saying? I was just laughing laughing about the mayor being one of those horses that they

give fake pussies so they could start them out. Yeah, start them out for breeding more of theirs. Yeah, start them out. That could be the only thing we have to fight against the Nazis and slots in the future clone army of the mares true nation be captured by the slots instantly these surfs I love this I love this side of the mayor no no way You're gonna be Simpson Vanyal, or Simpsilvania, dude. No way, dude. Simpsburg, we conquered immediately. I'm no Simp. Yeah.

I'm no Simp. You're a Simp. The Sly Army would devastate you. You got a lady's fake vagina, and then met her, and we're excited to meet her. If there's a clone army, I'm gonna take out all the Sly, like, in parts. We're gonna be, like, just pure.

Oh, you're saying we're gonna breed that part out of you. Yeah, we gotta breed it out. How? That's your core, do you ever see inside out? That that part out of you. Yeah, you gotta breathe it out. How? That's your core. Did you ever see inside out? That's like your core marble, yeah. That's like your core memory. You're the horniest guy alive.

No way. You've gotta be. No, Nate's the horniest guy. He's the Paul Caleigh guy. True, true. True. He's royalty. No, he actually is right.

You're the horniest guy. I was sitting here quiet, like, yes, that's royalty. No, he actually is right. You're the one he's got. I was sitting here quiet like, yes. That's fair. Damn, the clone Nate would attack the clone Lemaire's champions. They were trying to save the sluts. You'd have to watch out though. I'd be talking to the Nazi bros like, they're giving pussy out over there, man. Fucking chill out.

Let them do their thing. Yeah, true. Although the black skinhead Nazis would have some pussy going on, you know? They would be strictly snowboarding. You guys, your queen would be, you guys would answer to your queen, the naked lady. Who's kind of his naked wife?

Yeah. Oh, got this in story. Putting fucking Saran wrap and marching around Venice every 10 minutes. Fucking crazy. That's probably my favorite thing he's doing right now. Not probably, 100%. That's just one of his side, yeah, that's like a, I mean that's his life off the side

of the spectrum. I think they broke up. Don't believe the tabloids. I think that's a rumor. They tricked me a couple times saying they broke, did they actually break up? I'm not sure. I think it's a rumor. I think they're still together and having a rap.

I just remember seeing a clip of Bill Maher talking about it and have I just remember seeing it like a clip of bilmar Talking about it being like they broke up in the crowd being like whoo. I know that's the funniest thing that you're mine She's mind control being mind controlled or she's a slut Wait, that's a man's wife man a hot wife. I should admit to say or she's a hot wife That's even worse. Then he's a cuck. I mean, but isn't that that's hot wife in though when you go around I think that's actually part of my wife to get a bull you get a bulldozer Your fucking bulldozer trolling what have you found with your research so it turns out they are having marriage troubles right now It's the unking. No way, but he was spotted yesterday with a woman who looks exactly like her,

but is not her. He might have the clone. He might have the clone on him. He does actually have the clone on him. But she doesn't look exactly like her. This is just the tablet. Is it just she has giant tits and giant ass? Yeah, she's just a pretty lady.

Well, there's a lot of enhanced ladies, too. A lot of ladies are going to start. We're going to have like a lady singularity, because they're starting to all look the same. Yeah. Huh? No, that's time is nice about her. Those are giant nannies. She's not enhanced. No, she's pure nanny.

She's blessed by the Lord. Who? Bianca Sensori. I don't know. Is that the current lady? Yeah, that's his wife. Current wife. My bad.

No, it's- In my mind, everyone knows it. I did know her. Didn't she just have a movie come out, too? I don't think so. They did like a movie in Japan that was called like Bianca. About her? Yeah I swear to God. She starred in a movie in Japan. I could see her being worshipped in Japan. For sure. For sure. Surround the rep of women. I mean that's that huh? That's true.

Yeah she's got a movie starring in Japan. You're tapped in I take a break. I just go Bro, it's on X on my computer. I take a break from writing and I go I go into X and I go Oh shit, holy fuck it's happening She's got a fucking movie on fun fucking in Japan Really it's pretty nice. It's pretty cool. It's about the female body. That's surprising. I thought she was gonna branch out and Nope stuck to the bowl bread and butter We're coming up with a movie it's about tits

Damn well, yeah, what is the movie all about? I might fly to Japan and go to the premiere. Where the exact same outfit is there? I might dress up a little bit. Yeah, I might dress up fashion focused movie censored around Kanye and sensory's relationship

exploring the female body. Hmm. It's fashion focused the fashion focus Kanye produced it what could be the next summer block that's the this is the thing I was worried about Italian if he comes out with a yeah that's kind of sure he's also banned from Italy I think from getting head on the boat but he had plumbers crack he was getting head he had a plumbers crack getting head on a boat in Italy. Apparently in Italy it was like, you're not allowed to back in Italy.

I can't believe Italy's against this. That's what I'm saying, dude. That's like nothing for Italy. I would assume that's all Venice is. Like that's what it's about. Yeah. You have a kid with a stick pushing you around, you have like half your ass out, you have a big side.

All the murky fucking shitty river. Marone. I'm a murky fucking shitty river. Maroon. Yeah, this is a I worry he's going to come out with a absolute summer banger, though, and everyone's going to be god damn it. That would be nice. It would be sick. Yeah, that'd be fun. But that's going to. That could charge things up.

If people are saying, you know, people like if the lyrics the songs good people gonna rap it So there's like clubs full people all summer be like yeah, I'm a motherfucking Nazi You know that That could be a that could be a problematic that could be and you're right that that is possible Yeah, if I was like Jewish and then you can do it got that turned up I was like Jewish and then you can do it got that turned up Yeah true That could be a problem yeah, but yeah, I think we're safe from that I don't think I don't think the Nazi stuff's gonna catch on like culturally

Like people were people really worry about that. It's like now What do you mean? Hasn't it already caught on no I mean catch on bro I mean you mean like in Germany like it's it's not like catching on like Germany but it's building some steam dude that's what I'm saying it's it's maybe but you're talking about a frack like a small percentage of people that are Diggs there are people banging Like that they just started tweeting about it But if it made if a fucking hit undeniably hit catchy song hits the mainstream

Then it's a problem that could make but it's like I don't know people just fucking sing the song Yeah, cuz people listen to I don't know cuz it's like gang You know if you think about like gangster app does that have like a weird subconscious sway on like people's behaviors I would say definitely so Maybe now I'm suddenly like a no. I agree. I'm gonna while in music. It makes you do violent things That's his whole point he's like if we can talk about killing each other in songs why can't I talk about being a Nazi Why can't I talk about being a Nazi?

Here's buddy the way let's get out of switching gears By the way, you guys can't see my band when you guys see this. I mean real badass Matt Try to take his own life real Mac got sad Water dude a five gallon glass water jug got me. I should know how the fuck five gallon jug. Yes huge I know it's fucking massive. Well, where was that outside my driveway got delivered and I was like, you know I like my little thing near my garage, but I was doing with it. I store my store water But I always keep I try to keep like 30 gals on me at all times. Why do you remember when Philly were you Philly? I know you were in New York

Philly had like chemical spill into the road. Oh, yeah, and then I started I started getting them there Then I kind of liked the five gallon glass jugs So I just kept getting them delivered to my new house and they were outside and there was just a fucking there's a hole It was I saw water like the fuck and then I saw a hole in one of them I don't know if they got like slammed down and pop. Yeah, maybe somebody a lawnmower shot I don't know what happened, but there's a hole in it, that's weird. So I went to pick it up and it was already cracked, I couldn't see it, so when I picked it up,

the weight of it just came down and fucking gashed me up. Right before this, I just dressed my wound and fucking I apologize. This morning? Just now, like before I left. Yeah, it was late to the pod. It was bleeding, that's why I wrapped it so aggressively because it wouldn't stop bleeding,

so I just wrapped it up and I was always like, you know. Jesus. Time do its thing. And also nicotine constricts the blood vessels So I had I had to do that. Yeah, of course had to constrict my fucking blood vessels I've been pretty disciplined on those things there. They've been starting to fucking overcome. They've been sort of That's how it goes I'm no caffeine for lit Honestly, dude, I think nicotine greater than caffeine I would say caffeine rules but like nicotine no nicotine is really addictive yeah

I mean I can I can accidentally go a couple days without drinking coffee see I couldn't now I can now I'm a crackhead fuck I only have one left I have to dry I have to leave right now to go buy more You know what? flip every fucking pillow in this I Was looking for an old I was like thinking I was pretty immune to it I'm like not just using what I'm writing. It's a good You know cognitive enhancer then like I wouldn't have the weekends I wouldn't be writing so I've been taking them and I'm be like really tired of no energy is trying to really irritable right now

I must have some sort of bug. I'm like I was fucking naked God for sure, but no, I'm I stay disciplined. I am so I've been doing one a day What are you one six? Huh one three or one six three? I'm a three milligram weirdo for sure The mints are strong though. They they were stronger than a six milligrams in really Yeah, like yours like cuz you just yeah, just pause just swollen sure They were stronger than the six milligrams in. Really? Yeah. Like just. So far it's like, cause you just pause, just swallow. True, sure thank you for that. It's spicy.

It is spicy. Swallow in the spicy. Swallow in the spicy. Dude I had a. Oh man, don't stop taking notes. Yeah true man, what's, take me back to the last time. Our stenographer. It says nicotine.

Okay, sir. How'd you spell it? N-I-C-O-T-I-M-E. Very good. I was hoping there was a K in there. Dude, I think I might have outed myself as an absolute psycho to my neighbor yesterday. Walked outside. I usually in the morning, nobody's out back and I let my dogs out and we have a little frisbee outside

I'll throw to Matilda every now and then morning and I give I'm in a rush But she doesn't get the frisbee, but she'll like she'll like hit it and I was like dude You're not getting the frisbee. She I was like go pee. I was gonna get a rush I was like go pay my neighbors on the other side of the fence I was like Matilda go pee or I'll fucking kill you and then I hear oh Joking around I Don't really know what I was like, ah, hey! I was just joking around. I don't really know what I said, so it might have been even worse.

I just say the worst shit. Whenever she doesn't listen, I'm like, for real, I'll cut your fucking head off. I'll just say, the start of the day and the end of the night, that's the last thing I do before I go to bed, and I let them in if they don't listen, I'm like, you motherfuckers, get in here, I swear to fucking, I let him in if they don't listen. I'm like you motherfuckers get in here I swear to fucking God the lady heard I don't know what I said, but you hear me say oh

Is she an older lady? Yeah a little bit. Yeah. Oh, I was like, oh hey, how you guys doing over there? I was like fuck what did I just say? Did you try to clean it up like I was just playing with him. I talked to him like that Not even I just let it run. Yeah, just let it ride But yeah, other than that though to my backyards and pop into the garden gardening might be my favorite thing ever That's very nice. You got animals in there still nope I put a kind so I tried the red pepper flakes to keep out the mice, but their flakes You got to get pepper powder a brother Kevin was telling me get a cayenne pepper powder

I dumped like I ordered like a pound of cayenne pepper powder and just dumped it where the, I fucked them up. It's where they live. Hold on one second. Yeah. Pause. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. Oh yeah. We're in the second half of the basketball season

and the race to the playoffs is heating up on PrizePix, the best place to cash in on your favorite sports. This is what we're thinking for picks this week. I mean, Shane, I'm looking at the basketball board and selecting, I don't know, maybe Jason Tatum for more than 25 points. I like that, I was thinking more like Julius Randall for more than eight rebounds.

Anthony Edwards, more than 25 points, I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot. I've never thought about Jalen Brown and doing a fantasy sports action on more than four assists. Yeah, I have, it's fun. It's awesome. Matt, get in the game Well ready to make some pics of your own. Check out prize picks

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Just some of your favorite stat projections Some of my favorite stat projections? Yes, more or less. More or less. Thousand times, dude. Connor McDavid, more goals. There we go. A lot of people go, whoa, that's crazy. Bang, just like that, 1,000 times more,

you've won literally a billion dollars. Now you're a billionaire. Yeah. Thank you. 1,000 millions is a billion, that's all. 1,000 millions is a building. That's all I'm saying, man. Is a building.

Prize picks, run your game. You're mad at Elon? Maybe a billion dollars. Picks. If you're a billionaire, you run your game mad at Elon maybe picks Yeah Connor McDavid don't picks just And we're back the kind of pepper in the garden, thank you the Yeah, dude, I saw I've been at war with the mice I got that what works for birds is birds were fucking me up to you got to get shit in your garden that moves so I have like in one of those owls those like fake owls and its

Head swivels I have wind chimes scares them and I also have like a little spinny things that they detect like motion that it freaks them out But mice don't really give a fuck so you got to give them like just got a spray You just got to sprinkle the spices around for them as they step in that kind powder They have like strong senses of smell apparently. I don't like it I did where they like live I just a whole fucking just a big bag of crying power fucking them up fucked them up Yeah, yeah, I'm just my radish is huh not killing them. Just making them uncomfortable I mean, they smell like now. I'm good on that. Yeah, whether you done doing the Those take the baking powder dude apparently I made a nasty myself. I thought they were grass

I was close, but I don't know I I haven't seen them after that though, I will say. And then some time passed and I saw one. And dude, I got too many radishes to lose right now, dude. It turns out that's the only thing I can grow. I'm just a shitty radish farmer. You sound like you're playing Animal Crossing. I'm gonna pickle it. Did you get to eat any of the radishes yet?

Not yet. I got like, they'll be, I think in a month, they'll be fully grown. I got a lot. I'll drop some off to you. Please. I got some radishes and I Not yet. I got like, they'll be, I think in a month they'll be fully grown. I got a lot, I'll drop some off to you. Please. I got some radishes and I'm growing flowers right now too. That's very nice.

What kind of flowers? I don't even know what they're called. They're just big, I just picked the craziest looking flowers and just starting to see what it takes. So they're thriving. My flowers are thriving, my leeks are thriving. What a perfect time to plant those too. Exactly.

I got it right in time. And then I have, this will be, it's a year out, but I have blackberries, raspberries, just blackberries, raspberries, and like golden raspberries. I don't know, I've never heard of those. Damn, it takes a year to grow those? It's just a rad, it's called a cane, so it's just a raspberry stalk. So it takes a year to bear fruit. I always wondered why people got so mad at an animal for eating in their garden. That would piss me the fuck off. I've been waiting a year for one fucking basket

of raspberries. Some piece of shit. Awesome. I have a couple carrots going. Your carrots are like, oh fuck yeah, I'm gonna eat a carrot from my garden. Come back one day, the greens are gone and they're all fucked up.

And it's like, it's truly, it's kind of nice. I will say it does teach you patience. Cause like every day it's like another thing to check and go, oh you see a little bit of progress. And then if I'm like rushing out the door, if I'm in like rush mode, and I'm like damn I didn't water my garden yet. If I'm like, if I'm rushing to where I don't water my garden

I know I have a fucked up mentality and I gotta switch back. I gotta go Zandini. Keeps you Zandini cause you gotta go, dude I gotta stay kind of somehow connected to this. Zandini, are you staying Zandini? I broke my Zen Fest a connected to this and did you stay in Zendini? I broke my Zen fest Did you times this week? Yeah? Just responded to people for once

No, you're just defending yourself like a master pretty Zen. You're zanned out been Zendini. That's GG The kegger was in was it zanned out actually. No, I was kind of It's pretty zendini to admit that though, yeah, he's very quick to admit when he's being a piece of shit the next day I mean yeah, that's amazing Everyone's finding out that you were right all along Everyone I'm Sean Stradamus that is true of all time. Yeah, that is true. Charles Roudhams. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm back on my Zendini tip.

I was off it for a while. Caffeine will put me on. I'm not Zendini when I'm on daily caffeine. Really? Oh, my God. You get grumpy. I get. Yeah, it's grumpy. And it's like I just have my fuse is so fucking short. Like usually I'll notice things and I'll be like, OK, well,

you shouldn't have done that if I'm on the caffeine I just think wife and kids will do that to you as well I know but I'm saying that for sure they catch the wrath you're saying I saw any you or spaz you like I think they do both. Yeah, they'll spaz you they will but when you when I Crush the coffee and then like the mornings like you fork I have energy when it starts to dip and I'm just like Yeah, I have that shitty caffeine overdose feeling. It's just anything that happens. I'm fucking know that I saw you hang up on somebody because the food was coming Can I bring that up? That was my wife? Yes, absolutely

That was a great story Yeah, you were you were the foe food was coming your coffeeed up. You started seeing the food you like I can don't know if you were, you were the foe, the foe was coming, you were coffeeed up, you started seeing the foo, you were like, I can't fucking do it. Like, you just grab it. Dude, I was telling him all weekend, I'm like, my favorite thing is like, I chill during the week, or during the weekend, and then this Sunday, I drink like as much coffee

as my body can handle, the point where I'm like, I get so jacked up on caffeine on Sunday. Like two. Two cups for me, I'm flying. Yeah, that's what I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, and it was self-serve,. I'm yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, dude It was self-serve so I'm like talking eight zero. It's like my second cup of coffee. I'm like, and then Brittany called me I'm like, I'm having a conversation with her and our food comes out. I don't even remember what I said to her I was like, I can't do this right now

Met well I did it until I'm like eating I'm like still like so anyway, Nate And I stop and I was like, oh shit. I think it is hung up on Brittany and like a total coffee spaz. I Did I apologize real quick? I was like, yeah, I don't even know what having up on anyone And she was just asking me normal shit and I was like I can't talk right now. I don't know what the fuck You always keep me on the phone Just fucking dickhead of there on the phone. Yeah

Totally uncalled for and I did apologize like yeah, and she and she had been like although was she driving She wasn't even slaving me. She wasn't time slaving me. She was just asking like I was flying home that day It was like a very normal question rather than being like oh, hey our food's coming out. Let me call you back. I was flying home that day. It was like a very normal question rather than being like oh, hey our foods coming out Let me call you back. I was like I Just purely short sirs two cups of Joe oh yeah, dude I get rock fucking no I'm Fast before then though. Oh, yeah, I do like Joe fast first That's what I do bro come Easter I died when I OD'd on the Joe. You would? I had fucking like nine cold brews at that Panera. Dude, Shane, one cold brew, I swear to God, one cold brew, I'm high, like it's a drug.

Like I'm talking to people and it's just like, brrrr, they feel like they're very far away from me. It's weird. We gotta get you some Adderall. I told you, I can't have that. We gotta get you one, just one day. Just, come on, it's for an experiment. Dude, I am a mess, bro. That's when I got kicked out of the Beastie Boys concert. It was Adderall

I Jumped down. You're also a young man. I'm not gonna fool like that now Dude something happens to me on Adderall where I lock in on things and it's just like yes, and I just here's my plan We get you some Adderall. Yeah, we take you to blazer tag Yes, and I just here's my plan. We get you some Adderall. Yeah, we take you to Blazer Tag Let you scream and spaz in there. I mean that would be awesome exactly. You'd be so locked in I would that's my problem Yeah, be awesome. I get you might jump there though. You might try to get down. That's my problem I got down a level at the concert got kicked out and the one thing when I was like I don't cause you to catch it And you might catch

Calls you to catch it Because I'm gonna have a room especially was always with drinking and like smoking weed I would just get an idea and it's like go yes. No like well. It's like yes. Let's get this So I remember I saw I was in like Westchester. I just saw like a 32 out of these There was just these guys sitting down with like, you know I girls on like the curb outside eating pizza like a little college town in Westchester And I just saw this big cup of soda from a block away and I was just like I'm gonna kick that thing And I was like, I'm definitely gonna kick that cup of soda and I came up to it and sure enough I booted it and dude was like what the fuck man. I just like came up. It was like

You know my bad. I just kept walking. I was like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Yeah. That's your Mr. Hut. Huh? That's your Mr. Hut. Adderall is my Mr. Hut. Dr. Matthew and Mr. B's.

Drinking on Adderall made so much sense in college. Dr. Matthew and Mr. B's. It made so much sense in college. I'm tired, but I want to drink. They're like, bro, take an Adderall. And I was like, yo, good call. And it would just be the worst situations ever. Yeah, it really isn't that good. I I put down the Adderall Yeah, that doesn't yeah, it doesn't really help. No, it's not necessary

I need it once my like critical thinking goes offline. I need to get out. I need to go to bed I do not need to be turbocharged feels like a great idea to tailgate Yeah, well, yeah when you're a little tired, you're like, well, I deserve to get out, I need to go to bed. I do not need to be turbocharged. You don't need to stay. It feels like a great idea to tailgate. Yeah, well yeah, when you're a little tired, you're like, well I deserve to have some fun. But yeah, it ends up with pretty unsavory behavior on my behalf. You ever take out all?

Yeah, only when I'm drinking for the most part. I kind of love it. Day drinking on Adderall while you're doing it is wonderful. Yeah, it's probably the best. I like night drinking, William. You're getting tired but you don't want to end if you're in the middle of like a good night. I Love night drink. We had some good nights here. Yeah. Yeah, those are some great nights, but day drinking is I think day drinking I love but I love day drink, but then you know, it always ends bad

Yeah, I've never really had too many day drinks that are others. I was like nice I've had a couple where I end up in bed by like 930. That's the best case scenario. But yeah, you're right. I did it in Boston and I just stayed up super late and woke up the next morning with the most vicious like weed slash alcohol. It was not even weed, it was still high from edibles, hungover in the morning.

It was just like- That combo stinks. Dude. Hungover and weed high. Man, you gotta do something. Yeah, and you're like trying to just crush water to sober up and it's doing nothing. It's making you sick Yeah, I was I was for I had like frill from that night slowed down on drinking incredibly. I fear it now It was such a wretched state that I was like I frill thought I was like I'm like, you know when you're high You're like I'm stuck like this. I thought I was like, dude, I think I broke my brain.

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Yeah, it was being high with all that alcohol, hangoverover anxiety. Just flying home with my wife and just being like, oh man. It was rough. You had to fly home? Oh yeah. I've been obviously hung over and a little high on quite a few and that's the worst, the worst combination.

Yeah. Get home, especially when you get home to your kids and you're like, fuck. Fuck. I let you. Your father made some poor decisions last night. Get home to your kids and you're like fuck Fuck Your father made some poor decisions last night There was four margaritas in the afternoon that were totally unnecessary No, I'd like to see that. I'd like to be around you before mugs. Let's get let's get crunked in but Yeah, he said oh shit. Yeah, I can't I can't do it. No, let's let's stay over this week

I got the UK this weekend once you once the sketch chills. We'll schedule. It is a crunk day Yeah, get totally I got the fuck. I got my sketch today this morning. I'm fucked. I'm scared. Fuck. I'm fucked forever Doesn't fucking end any room for a daytime pool party even like a couple daytime pool party my months fly Yeah, my months fly mom fucked. So yeah, we'll do a daytime pool party. That is, man, that's fun. Ideal. Can I bring the butter dog? Yes, the butter dog had a nice day here. Yeah, yeah, he did.

I got 9,000 pictures of my girlfriend and the butter dog. Butter dog? Yeah. How was your dog doing? The dog with the butter. He's the man. He's perfect. Is he a swimmer at all?

He's never gotten in the water. That's good. That's good. Oh, it's not gonna be good swim better than you Sorry kid He I'm sure he can that'd be crazy if he swam exactly like you Absolutely does it stop this is the guarantee that's how he swims And feet totally underwater just an ass floating You're like an octopus.

Everything's there, you just. Nate LeMare, will you guys shoot me straight on my idea of the Black Swim Club? I see you guys are so resistant. I don't wanna be the black guy that does it. You said you don't? Yeah. I figured that was the hangup.

We were getting good, we were getting good. Yeah, I'm getting pretty good. LeMare's killing it. I was teaching him how to swim all last year. My problem is like dude you guys are running a podcast Nate swimming is the funniest There's actually a swim instructor in Austin called the swim Nazi We get a private lesson from the swim Nazi they call themselves this one They're called the swim Nazi, but she just rolls with it So she's like I'm the swim Nazi and she's, she's an excellent swimmer. She'll scream at you. She taught my kid, dude,

my fucking five year old could swim like swimming for real from the Nazi. She got Nazi training. I had Lamar out here all the time. Lamar is good. Like three days a week we were in there and I was trying to teach him how to swim. There's nothing you could do. You're training your Pokemon. I literally was holding him. I was like to teach him how to swim. There's nothing you could do. You're training your Pokemon Holding him. I was like, all right, there's gonna be weird. I'm a whole dude. He's

Kick Lamar's good in the pool, man He's horrendous in the me and that we're in dainty at the Go you were in the ocean. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, you did. That's why you had a shark. There's no way he could be past. Yeah, it was sandbar. It was, yeah, it was shallow stuff. Yeah, he literally cannot swim. I've seen him in the pool. I've seen him.

That's a three foot pool. It's true. If he takes his feet off the ground, he cannot swim. Oh no, Laverne. Yeah, he fully can't swim. Oh, I've seen him go in and glide a little bit. He can do that for about a second, but he has, and even then he forgets that he can just stand up.

So there'll be like a moment of like, you see him like panic underwater, he goes, just fucking stand up. True. You don't think the Black Swim Club will be empowering? I don't know. People won't be laughing, they'll be like, this is good.

People are not gonna be laughing. We might film it and put it on the Patreon. But strictly to help other black listeners. Learn how to swim. Yeah, like just conquer the stigma and the stereotype. This is instructional. Yeah, I'm down. I'm trying, I'm moving on to butterfly. You need to learn how to just regular swim.

I can do this pretty good. We can get in the pool. The pool's heated right now. We can get in there. I can do this good. I can get up and down. I've seen you, I remember going over there. He's in practice. Nate, we gotta get Nate there. I can do this good. I can get up and down. I've seen you, I remember going over there, LeMare, he's in practice.

Nate, we gotta get Nate to just trademark that stroke. Nate's better than LeMare at swimming. Let's say I can swim a little bit. This is my ass. Your ass rises, that's the funniest part. I think this is my pot. Yeah, you go to the other end for sure. I've seen you in action.

It's just the ass coming up, I don't know how. It's not even a bathing suit bubble, it's just your ass. It is just your ass. Breaches the surface and it's not even a bathing suit bubble. It's just it's just your ass It is just your ass breaches the surface and it's Now you've developed a full body your ass has flattened out a little it still comes out I don't know what it is the boy. It could be good for you Sure, it's like the north and south pole is the belly grows the ashrink It's the M.F.s. You're just being pulled for. I have a drive in a hybrid. There might be

actually you would drive the hybrid. Yeah. The EMS might be careful. Dude, I saw these guys on Instagram saying you're probably only reducing 9% though from the hybrid. Yeah, probably. What's going on with you guys? Nothing, dude. Just go to the UK this week. I know week and I'm bringing O'Connor and DeRosa. I'm bringing two of the heartiest

true alcoholics I know Yeah Artillery, it's gonna be really fucking oh my god. It's gonna be the most one those old pubs I think I've never been to London, but the old pubs are very sick. It's the coolest thing ever. Yeah, I did like that in Australia, being in like an ancient pub, it's like, Dublin, Dublin's the, I love Dublin,

Manchester fucking rules. I bet. Yeah, once my family gets old, once the kids get older, I do wanna go, bring them all to Europe and go over there, it'd be sick. That'd be awesome. Yeah, Ireland. I've never been to Italy, I'd love to go to Italy.

Yeah. I'd like to go to Rome. Yeah, I'd like to go to Rome Yeah, you should fuck. I forgot. I don't have any time I was looking for a beach trip last night I was like when do you think we can do this and they were like and then I was in and then I realized I'm kind Of going week to week with my schedule. They showed you a Blackmail home video Yeah, now you got a free schedule Showed you a blackmail home video Did black swim club and put on the internet the schedules wide open But you're empowering dude it is empowering I understand

Yeah, that's what you guys think with your stereotypes Wait till you see these two swims dude if Obama chef had done the black swim club You'd still be here to this day fucking alive The schedule of my agent manager I was texting them and I was like, can I just get like a breakdown of like what the rest of the year is like? Because I literally check my own website to find out my dates. And they were like, yeah, sure.

I was like, just kind of game plan this whole year. And they were like, haha, game plan this whole year. And I was like, yeah, your fucking job? Yeah, what the fuck? It's your job to do that? Yeah. And they're like, oh, your fucking job. Yeah, what the fuck? It's your job to do that? Yeah. And they're like, oh, okay, you're serious? And I was like, yeah.

Fucking tell me where I'm going. On like a calendar kind of thing? Just like an email breakdown of like month by month. Cause there's holes in the schedule for touring, but it's to film shit. Ah, yeah. So then I'm like, what's this break? Maybe I can go to Florida with my friends that week.

I got you holding for something. Shit. Fuck. Go to fake rehab. Fuck. Fake? Fake rehab? I told you I've been dreaming. I've been dreaming about rehab for two years now.

It's going to be sick. It's going to be so nice. Especially if you go to one of those super nice ones. Especially I'm just going to chill. I years now. It's gonna be sick. It's gonna be sick. It's gonna be so nice. Especially if you go to one of those super nice ones. Especially if I'm just going to jail. I'm not gonna stop. For sure. I'm just going right back out.

I'm gonna get fucking wrecked as soon as I get out. They should have that where it's just like kind of a pit crew more so. That's what I, yeah, that's the dream. I was like, I just wanna go to a resort. It'd be nice if there was like a dry resort and maybe like a healthy thing. Just imagine rehab.

Before we just, rehab, I just daydreamed rehab. Gotta be sick. If it was like a dry resort and maybe like a healthy things imaginary Rehab I just daydream three have Gotta be so many light beer rehab is the saddest. That's literally weed read. That's CBD rehab Like beer rehab is CBD rehab you get caught in your room with a party helmet and straws I'm like, what the fuck? Dude. Yeah, they lift up a cushion and they're like, it's my barium it, no! It's my barium. Dude, it'd just be me. It'd be me and dads. It'd be me and a bunch of 60-year-old men

and then they're like, oh fuck, it's April baseball's on. Every dude in there going, this is fucking light beer heaven. He's doing the most inflexible yoga ever Yeah, that's good though being a guy that can stretch is fucking gay I saw my dad do a split I'd be like what the fuck Check out this flexibility kids. You go. Yeah. Yeah, I always baseball and drink a beer you weirdo Anytime I've been told I've been in flexible. I've been like yes

Like you're real tight there. I'm like yeah, yeah, of course. I am like no, that's like really bad You gotta work on that. I'm like, yeah, yeah Fuck it's so my yeah, my hips are so bad. I'm getting shoulder flexibility backs. But nice. That's nice shoulders shoulder flexibility Straight as hell that is straight hips You ever hear when they're like you actually keep a lot of pinup emotions in your hips. Yes. Yeah, dude. Let's keep them in there I wanted the last thing I want to be is emotional Especially from your hips that would suck if you unleash something from your hips you like No, I really did hurt my feelings

No, no really did hurt my feelings Yeah girls gotta stop stretching how about that yeah, oh we fucking tighten their fucking hips and butts up Too flexible that's a problem. He keeps some of that shit in their fucking glutes and their IT bands yeah, it's time to store that back in there tighten them up every weird though. I have like an inflexible lady Like we kind of a lady with a lift her leg was like yeah Yeah, that would be fucking savvy be disgusting neither of us can flex We're just trying we're gonna do standing sex Might have to start dressing up to see how it feels. Maybe I'm them, you know?

True. Maybe they're completely in, I am them, so I need to dress like them and get fucked by a guy that looks like me. Just to see how it feels. White Lotus needs to stop. White Lotus is the best show. It needs to stop. It's so good. It's doing too much.

Do you think girls, girls probably don't like it if you're like wearing their clothes? Oh, yeah, if you put on their clothes, they'd love to have that on you But I don't think would they like that with that excited with that excited I think they pretend to but we mentally checked out with you. Yeah, they would go Jesus fucking Christ Yeah, let's go through your phone and look through all your friends. All right, which one? Although didn't like a, I guess he was just doing it as like a party trick. That one boxer.

Yeah, De La Hoya. De La Hoya did it. He tossed on the fishnets. I thought he, I thought he. I think that was the real deal. I think that was the real deal. You think that was the real deal? I think it was the real deal.

That seems, that could be like a liquor and cocaine thing. I think it was a liquor and cocaine thing, but also. Didn't he have like professional pitches? Wasn't it like the fishnets? No, it was definitely a hooker in a hotel room. Oh, okay, okay. He just wanted the picture. Fishnets, boxing.

Yeah, that was tough. You've done fishnets. No, don't put that on me. Don't put that on me. AI people, AI people, Nate and fishnets. Oh my God. French maid outfit wouldn't be bad either. I think he might have hit one of those as well.

Did he? Yeah, I think Taylor was hitting the is that Lebron one real? I think it might be in a French made up. I think he did for like Halloween. He did for Halloween. I think he did it for Halloween. Let me see. Oh my God.

What? Real Lebron. John switching gears. God what? LeBron John switching gears have you seen that Michelle Obama has a new process Yeah, so it's with her brother I thought it was Craig Robinson Dude I don't know the left is scrambling to dominate the podcast space and they threw Michelle Obama and her brother at it. It doesn't get as many views as you think. I think about Michelle Obama getting home and because she knows that people say she's a man all the time.

You think she ever gets really sad about it? Yeah, dude. That'd be so hurtful. But his name is Craig Robinson. I know, that's what I'm saying. I thought it was her and the comedian. It's no, it's her and her brother. I thought you were saying he just looked like him.

No, it's her and her brother Craig Robinson. With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson and it's her brother. It's her brother, that was the guy who plays piano. Who looks identical, bro. What the fuck? I know, I know. That could be the original Michelle.

And then the, and. And that's big Mike. It feels bad to try to get the bag for him. I don't mean to start that rumor. Oh trust me brother, I'm sure it's already been. Yeah that rumor's out there. The worst thing you can do. That was the worst possible move. But yeah it's probably very hurtful.

Just thinking about her and just being like a Barack They're saying I'm a man again on the internet All those people But can I know is thinking about that that's kind of funny. Yeah, that's going on McCrone still bro She's still ripping on the McCrone's. I haven't been keeping up with the She's confident. I watched her been keeping up with the right wing. She seems confident. I watched her on Theo's podcast and she is like, I mean, prove me wrong dude. And she's like, I have all the paperwork filled for all like the, basically being like, she

sent the McCrones a yes or no. I mean, which I get, she's like, they didn't even fill it out. I was like, well, I could see them being like, yeah, I'm not going to fill out the am I a man questionnaire for the Candice I would show. Just passed forward from a kid, he's sitting behind him in class, just like this. Candice, are you a guy?

Check yes or no. It's like, drawing up, it's like a legally binding yes or no questionnaire, like, yo, just answer these questions and we'll fucking drop it. Because I think they were trying to sue, being like, yo, stop calling my fucking wife a man. She's like, but in order for defamation, I I think in Europe the defamation laws are a little different we're like

Yeah, you have to be wrong in America's flip. It's like vice versa. It's like well prove me wrong then and I'll take the back That's right. So she's getting hit with some friend after my Holocaust denying show. I watched It was a it was made it was like a it's not like I found it. It was like it was. Yeah, I think it was on HBO or something. They were like, you know, I mean, this wasn't one of the I got you. Yeah. It was it wasn't the Kyrie Irving type. It was just like straight.

It was it was legit. Yeah, it was it was that it was that case, though. It was like the it's it's flip flopped over there over there where here. It's like prove me wrong got yeah there It's like you have to prove you were right, so then they brought a fucking Holocaust and I put him on trial And he was like boom But he did get debunked he got he got bonked yeah You got bulldog yeah bulldog in the court of a European court of law the European court of law with yeah Yeah, man, I can stop there. We had an hour. Let's go to the patreon yo of law with yeah, yeah, man. I just out there

We had an hour. Let's go to the patreon yo guys. I fucking love you. Goodbye. We love you Don't get my bandage in there's a fucking