Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 557 - Blob Farm (feat. Nate Marshall)

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support the P*nty Boyz @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live Yo0o0o. Whats gudd!? Hope you're all having a good start to your day. Another fambly ep this week with Nasty Nathan. We had ourselves some hot castin' this week tbqh. We talk blobz and some other things. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, wow, Wes. The shoes are my most comfortable pair of shoes. These shoes are sick. Hey, let me prance around those underarmers. I'm a model. Show these people your underarmor skills. He did get the best choice. Oh, I've never seen you kick that.

Little Jack Black. Little Jack actually black. I'll be honest, I would have been a million dollars. You couldn't have done that. But he kicks in a row. That was a lot. Kung would have been a million dollars. You couldn't have done that many kicks in a row That was a lot Which I was a goddamn sleepy yeah, I work out yesterday man, I woke up yesterday yesterday Played video games. Yeah, I was a pathetic pathetic dad. Did that thing where I open my eyes and try to gauge the hangover before I woke up.

And I felt all right, I was just hot. I woke up as a thousand degree, I thought it was 7 a.m. I reached over to see what time it is. I'll always see if Brittany's in bed, I'm like, all right, it's probably like seven. Didn't feel her and I pat it and it was just a pillow on him. I'm like, there she is. And I laid there and I checked my phone

like 10 minutes later, it was fucking 10.30. I was like, holy shit. Damn, you slept till 10. Yeah, we were up late though. We were up super late. We got home late, yeah. We were up super late, yeah, I was dragging. That's an early day, 10.30?

That was crazy, that was decadent, dude. Usually it's 6.37. Oh, for me. I try to get up before my kids. It's 11. It's 11 is like, I did it, I got up at a decent hour. Really? Yeah. I feel like the older I'm I did it. I got up at a decent hour really yeah I feel like the older I'm getting there. I'm just waking up early even if even if you're out late

If it's a late night, yeah, you think it's about time like you're like, I'm not sure exactly. I'm not sure no No, it's not like it's a conscious decision. It's just your body's keep waking up early. Yeah, that's the opposite for me I'm waking up later. Really? I have to set no I have to set 11 a.m Me I'm waking up later. I have to set no I have to set 11 a.m. Alarms really to be up Thank you for not. I'll just sleep. That's nice Fuck it sleep. That is nice. No, I just get my kids wake up. It's like 7 a.m So it's either I get up before them or I get woken up to just like a kid through a monitor like It's like for real the worst fucking way to wake up

Because you have to get you have to get out of bed and like. And go to action. Right away. So if you get up before them, you like chill, relax, drink my coffee and then it's like, you'll hear them wake up, you're like sweet. Is dad energy a thing? Like dad energy, like you hear it and you're like, all right, it kind of kicks you in the gear.

Yeah, you pop up. Because the only alternative is like, they're fine. And then you wait and wait and wait. That could turn into just like, rest of your life really if you wanna fucking do that. Yeah, you can just leave. Yeah. You know what, they're fucking fine.

A lot of people don't have dads. They'll be alright. Anything will help them. Give them the little turbo charge. You'll have a boy named Sue. That made you stronger I've been looking at schools. We finally found one Dude, it's such a fucking insane process now to find like schools for kids. Yeah, so we went we like looked at oh, yeah It's saying we looked at a bunch of schools

And then what a lot of them do, I noticed, they like cart out their eighth graders as like. Give you a look, say, this is what we do. Check these kids out, but then they come out and they're like fucking robots, dude. These kids come out and they're like, my passion is, and it's like, who's back there hitting you with fucking bamboo sticks?

Yeah, they get a lot of that. When I was in eighth grade, if they pulled me out in front of parents, they'd be like, what do you like about school? I'd be like, I don't know. Reset. Zero eye contact Yeah, I agree. So I don't know if I was math socks

These kids are coming out like they're running for fucking president. They're like, but I'm actually going to a very real I was like, what the fuck now? This is speaking is not a dad at all But I kind of like that because that's what I felt like wasn't that always that kind of the thing is like America was falling Off because we were our kids weren't as disciplined as other countries. These kids are so smart. They come out and they're like little mini adults They're like mature. It's really weird. I kind of would like to have had that for myself I feel like a dumbass a lot and To just not have that as part of my life will be beautiful just to come out and be like I'm very deeply

I'm actually working with my community right now. I never really thought if you were dumb or not. You don't seem very dumb. I'm not completely dumb, but I'm not. C student energy for sure. You said C student energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the whole crew holds that down. CD, yeah true.

I was the smartest of my childhood crew. Everybody got left back senior year except me. All your boys got left back. All my boys were super seniors. And I just was out. I came back from prom too though. You came back from prom after? I came back for a second prom.

I was like, I'm back fellas. Hell yeah. That swag. Damn, that is nice. Yeah, they all. The whole squad got held back, huh? Whole squad. Is this Redding Central Catholic or where'd you go?

Right in high school. And it was, well it was like three of us. I bet that's pretty fucking standard at Redding High School. That or you just give up and just don't even graduate. A lot of people get that senior left back and just go, I did my four years. Yeah, true. I'm done. Fuck what they said. I'm done.

I feel like the same grade again must be nudge. Getting held back senior year is insane. Of course you fuck. Changes your whole life. I mean, that's super senioritis. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Although it would be senior year,

knowing right now I would be a super senior. Senior year is fucking sick. I was just gonna be racist. What? What? I just want you guys to know. Good on you. Good on you.

I caught myself. Good on you. That's important. You acknowledge it, you go, it'd be funny to just say black people have senioritis. I'm not going to do that. Orange Excuse me. Pardon me.

Excuse me. I was just being racist. They made that second year look like the most fun. I for real felt it was. They were having fun. They were having so much fun. Way better than fucking real life. I went to community college after that.

I went to a retinary community college and it was just boring. You went to RAC? I went to R college after that went to a retinary community college And it was just boring you went to rack. I went to rack went to rack and they were just having I paid my dues at heck Paid my dues I did my semester at hack I'm still doing that was I was actually kind of where I'd turn my life around as a student Hey college. Yeah after I had failed out at Elon You also you'll feel like a superstar going to community college Everybody here's dumb as fuck And then it was like all right. It's time to stop getting

Failing yeah, I I was at Drexel. I was like Chester. I gotta get my grades up to get into West true Did I was at Drexel, like, school's so dumb, what's the point of this? And I worked, I was with like the labor union, with my, like working for my dad. So I had to sign up to the labor union to work for him, so like the union didn't say anything. And I was like, college is so pointless,

and I was like chilling with like laborers, and I would talk to them, and I'm like, I think college worked on me a little bit. So they would read the paper paper and I'd be like yeah But like who you got to think like who wrote that paper they all have an agenda They was looking at me and be like dude. It's in the paper This is before Donald Trump busted the fake news People would read the paper be like well. That's what happened. Yeah, that's that

Yeah, crazy. I worked in that factory. And I realized, yeah, it was time. Yeah, well, yeah, definitely. College helps. There's a bunch of guys that were illiterate. Yeah, like fully illiterate. They'd be like, I can't read that. What's like turns out great school kind of helped me a little. Dude, the do some of the schools are still fucking wild now.

We went to this one school we really wanted. I really wanted my daughter to go there. And dude, we had a meeting like a parent interview or whatever and they were like well we do a reenactment in the I think third or fourth grade where we reenact the taking of the land from Mexico we use the third graders to reenact this and it was just like and I'm sitting there the whole time I told Brittany going into it I'm like they're gonna probably say a bunch of dumb bullshit, just go along with it. I just like this. Thank God we didn't get in.

But we were in the thing. The lady was talking about people of color, and Brittany's like, I didn't see any. She's like, she mentioned Asians, and Brittany goes, it's not a people of color. I held her leg under the table and shook up. Yes, dude, it's so nice. It was kind of a beast, it was beast.

So nice. It was beast. The lady claimed it too. Black wife card is so nice. It was kind of a beast, it was beast. So nice. It was beast, the lady claimed it too. Black wife card is so nice. It was so funny. Dude I was dying and the lady tried to claim it herself. Bro, I mean, same as me bro. And I'm like sitting there like, my God. It's crazy they're gonna do the reenactment

of America taking Mexico? Yeah dude, with fucking fourth graders dude. That's fucking nuts. It's also like if you're gonna read like why that one why not like it's kind of weird aren't they celebrating it yeah the Alamo rule dude what a bunch of fucking pussy well then it's like why not go even further back in time why stop there yeah let's see how Mexico got that land Yeah, how did they? How did they Spanish came and cut everyone's fucking heads off?

That's cuz they were cutting everybody's heads off already Yeah, they weren't it was distasteful. It's like don't do that with fucking yeah, Mexico. They were not very chill. Yeah I tell ya which is the guy of the Comanche They were not very chill. Yeah. So yeah, it was just a thing. There's no play of the Comanche. There what? You should do a play where the kids are the Comanche.

True. And they abduct white settlers and gang rape them and disembowel them in front of their families. That'd be pretty cool. That'd be cool. Fake scalpens. Yeah. That'd be nice.

Pulling up fake little kids. They're like all real Hollywood blood packets. That might be, yeah. I could see that. That'd be good. Stepping up like kids productions. We're doing reservoir dogs. Yeah, we dodged a bullet. I was happy that Britney was yapping because that was looking back on it.

I was like, that was such a sick move. Did y'all ever do any of those things when you were kids like kids plays? No, I held it down. I was like plays. I was part of the tableau in the Christmas play. What's the tableau? Tableau was for all the kids who sucked that weren't part of the real play that just went up and did an Nativity scene.

Oh, that's sick. My job was to hold a banner behind them and go... Just shook a banner to... I did stay true. I had to do, I went to camp with school for a little bit and we did Sister Act. You guys did Sister Act? We did Sister Act. And I went to Sister Act and I had to do the rapping part. He come in like joyful, joyful.

It's a, I still kinda remember it but. Let me hear it. I just remember the, he said, joyful, joyful, Lord I adore thee and in my life I putt'd up before thee and I don't remember the rest. Oh, that's pretty good. It's kinda weird.

Yeah. I kinda had felt good doing it. Did you ever think about being a rapper? Obviously. Yeah. Obviously. Obviously. Obviously.

I had a feeling. I had a feeling. At such a young age. You never thought about it. Did I ever think about it? Not one day. I thought about it earlier today. I was like, what if I could spit?

True, it's like you never know. It's like, what if I could spit? True, it's like, you never know. It's like, what if I- You never know, I've never even tried. Maybe I could spit. In high school, you'd all get high and people would freestyle and stuff, it was sick. It's the best. Yeah, it's pretty fun actually.

It is. I knew it didn't have any of me. Yeah, definitely. My one friend would just do Eminem, and be like, that's an Eminem song. And he'd be like, no, it is. Freestyle. friend would just do Eminem. He'd be like, that's an Eminem song. He'd be like, no. It's just an Eminem song. I just came up with that right now.

Two Trailer Park girls go around the outside. I don't know. Is that a song? I didn't know that. That's crazy. My boy did, he played a smart. You guys must have all been rapping the whole time. Always, but my one boy and I,

you know, the guys who got held back in two years. I got a feeling they thought they had rap careers lined up. Bobby Dite did, he used to, there was this rapper, Joey Jihad, a Philly dude, he was like underground, he was big, he was about to actually blow, and 50 was about to sign him, and then somebody just sucker punched him on the street. There was a video of him just getting knocked out

just in the middle of the street, ruined his whole future. Yeah, Joey Jihad was nice too, but not a lot of people knew him and we were in Redden. So, but he knew him. So he would just battle rap people for money, but he would just use Joey Jihad raps for like a good year, it was nice and awesome. I'll never forget, I remember I was with this one dude.

I was like just going to my house to like sell weed or whatever, he was a black guy. And my neighbors in West Philly. I actually knew them I like worked with one guy and they were out in their car Blasting like someone they knew was like their family members demo tape They're like come listen to this like the black guy I was with and he leaned in the car He was like, yeah, that shit's fucking trash and then just walk into my house I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, I said, you know, that shit's fucking trash and then just came in I was like, dude, it's my didn't know you could do that. He's like, yo, that shit's fucking trash.

And then just came in, I was like, dude, it's my fucking neighbors, man. Why are you doing that? It's the funniest thing, and he just like didn't even... Like we came in, and he's like, I would have like... If I had done that to someone, I'm like, did you see me do that? He just was like, anyway, so what is going on here? And I'm just like, did you just fucking do that to my neighbors? Yo, that shit's fucking trash. It was such a beast move. Did I do that to my neighbors? Yo, that shit's fucking trash. Yeah. That's very nice.

It was such a beast move. One, two, three, four. Yeah! Riding a bike in the ride to conquer cancer is like being part of humanity's greatest. The money you raise, the time you spend, the energy that you give is helping people live, is giving people hope, and that's just so beautiful.

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And then some. Get your ticket to more with the new BeMo VI Porter MasterCard and get up to $2,400 in value in your first 13 months. Terms and conditions apply apply visit bemo.com Slash the iPorter to learn more Did you ever get to do that to somebody with the demo tape you go shit's trash? No, I never I never had the heart I always feel bad like because somebody's trying their best Yeah, somebody even when they're not trying their best like that that thing but he's doing Times Square. Just he and CDs

Yeah, I used to hate that shit, but it would be like I can't be I can't routine. Yeah, I Would take the CDs. Yeah, I would take us throw them away. So I'm out. Yeah. Yeah Pay like two bucks for it Yeah, that's when they get you Like you're not gonna give any money's like, I didn't ask for this. I don't want this. I'm helping you. You ever see this?

I could get this to the right people. You ever see the video of 50? He's like just walking with some lady and some dude just like, just starts harassing him. Just like, listen to my Instagram. And he's just like, you're never gonna make it. That's like what he says to him. He was like, if this is how you're going about it, you're done.

But it's like- Oh man. 50s beefing with like Big Meach right now, isn't he? Larry who wanted- He always beefed. Someone just like- 50s, he's the best. One of those guys got out of jail

and he's like calling the dude a rat. He's like, he's a fucking rat. He's like beefing with, I can't think of the network. It's like, I wanna say Showtime or something, but he's like suing somebody over a documentary. He's just like. I want to say Showtime or something, but he's suing somebody over at Documentary. He's just like, I want my money by Monday. He's probably my favorite Instagram. Yeah, he's the man.

Easily. You turn it on yet? Did I turn it on? No. I mean, yeah. I mean, I've been kind of like, I don't know, man. It's hard to say anything about Ye. Because I love him so much, but he's gone so crazy.

But then you see, like, I was watching an academic interview just like at the beginning of it, he seemed locked into, he was like, all right, we're going to do this, it's going to look like this. And he got even more locked in. And then he put the outfit on and was like, just fucking well. It's so funny. At least he's not really doing anything bad. He's just saying crazy shit.

He's just, yeah, yeah. not really doing anything bad. He's just saying crazy shit. Yeah, yeah. Has he done anything bad other than? I mean, he's like, no, I don't think so right now, but he's also come out and he's like, I've beat women before, I've done this. The one, the beast thing that I will give him, I suck my cousin's dick obviously.

Suck my cousin's ween. No. But the one thing that I will give him is when Iggy Azalea came out being like, Kanye used to say, he would take me aside and tell me he like jerks off my pictures and he retweeted it and just said, true. That's kind of sick. I wonder if he'll like, I feel like he's got another era of like a different thing in him. I think he's going to drop this stuff. I kind of think so. I don't think this is going era of a different thing in him. I think he's gonna drop this stuff.

I kinda think so. I don't think this is gonna be the last thing you know. We're definitely not gonna, there's no way he's going away. Yeah. He's just never going away. He's gonna be part of our lives, man. I don't think he's gonna slow down on the tweets.

We're gonna get these daily updates every day for the next 30 years. You think it's gonna get darker than I sucked my cousin when I was young? I don't think it can. Oh, that's about it. That's as dark as he can. I don't think it can. Yeah, it's as low as it goes sucked my cousin when I was young? I don't think it can. That's as dark as it can. I don't think it can.

Yeah, that's as low as it goes. I wonder, I was like, is this some, I've said this before, is this like, is he on just another level of performance art where it's like, he's expanding just the boundaries of all this weird stuff of like KKK, sucking your cousin's dick? Gay incest, he hit a little black lotus.

He did it. He hit the little black lotus. He did it. He hit the true black lotus. He did it. He hit the true black lotus. He did it. He hit the true black lotus. You think he was just loved so much, he was like, he just wants to feel hated? Well, not after the Taylor, I guess Taylor Swift stuff, he was hated a little bit. He's been an Aussie for a while.

Yeah. Yeah, dude, I don't know. I can't even wrap my head around Like why you would do that or what but again work could just be fucking nuts man like yeah Yeah, he could be having a fucking snub of mental break, but if I was already could just be the man who knows We'll never know the other time will tell you you got to talk to you got to give him a hundred years See what's up. He could go into like a Luke Skywalker phase if he goes on the Misty Mountain and goes dark for a while I mean, it's kind of what he should have done like five years ago

You know He should just go Misty Mountain, but his tweet every day about how he's on the Misty Mountain He never when he tweeted that he wasn't a Nazi no more that did that lasted for a day, right? He was and then he was like, nah, I'm back Just went back yeah Yeah, yeah, it is interesting. What the fuck? I don't know just like the fuck bro. We talked about this Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't want it

I don't want to coulda woulda shoulda but he could have just fell back and it's been the greatest producer Loved around the world. Yeah, but he'sa just fell back and just been the greatest producer loved around the world. Yeah. But he's a billionaire, isn't he? Is he a billionaire? That's the one thing I can't wrap my head around. I'm like, you're a billionaire? They said he was, then he somehow lost.

Yeah, but then he said he is again now. What? He's like, I'm back. He's like, I'm a billionaire again. Kind of awesome. So he's a billionaire? Wow. Sick.

Sick. That is crazy. One and a half now. I've seen Zuckerberg, Kanye seems normal for a billionaire. God damn, what was that? Why is he dressing like that? You know I like the outfit. Clean white tee, gold chain.

If you're a billionaire, you shouldn't be wearing a gold chain. Yeah, but it wasn't a gaudy gold chain, it was little. He used to be such a humble autist. Eh, he's doing jujitsu and shit now? I'm telling you, I think that's like brand, you get guys to like manage your brand for you. Yeah.

So that's like a full stylist PR, brand management, like your total self-reinvention. He was wearing that. He should have let Kanye be his stylist. He should have. He should have worn the fucking black KKK uniform. That would have been awesome. Yeah, I mean it is, it does suck to have,

Zuckerberg's gotta be what, like a couple hundred billion or a hundred billion maybe One hundred billion dollars have 185 billion and then being like I have to be able to figure out cool It's like I've gotta be an algorithm. There's gotta be it's an algorithm There's an algo and he's kind of hitting the is he's all dressed like a black guy Seventh grade He is, he's all dressed like a black guy. Yeah. Like, bro, I figured that out in seventh grade. Yeah, I figured that out in seventh grade. And then in eighth grade you go, it's not cool when I do it.

True. Yeah, you kind of do figure that out. You got an older brother goes, you look like a fucking idiot. Yeah. All right. Me and my cousin and my bro Phil would just get crushed. We'd go show up at family parties and everyone like what the fuck my cousin pad had a Wu Tang charm

So tight goes hard. So I see I just had the Jesus piece Seven credit it was a little smaller. Maybe I just did a Did I have the J? I we all had charms at one point. I'm It was the big one. You would go to, yeah, you would go to fucking Sterling Silver or wherever in the mall and we would cop our silver chain. I was three small loops, one long loop.

My cousin was Cuban Lynx. Cuban Lynx is sick. Cuban Lynx with the Wu Tang charm was nasty. I gotta remember what my charm was. I'm pretty sure it was just a cross if I know myself. Dang. Had the JP and my bro got picked. She got like SpongeBob holding a pistol. I should have I had a gay one I'm just a little dragon No Cisco, I just thought it was a cool little dragon and then I got to school and they were like you got the Cisco chain.

And I couldn't stop wearing it. Damn the Cisco chain sucks. And that was Thong's song. That was like right. That was yeah. You went under the dragon. You drew a hill. That blows. I forgot. I forgot.

I never got a chain. Never had the chain? I couldn't. I never got a chain never had the chain. I couldn't I never did it Oh, dude, I was my friend got caught stealing one from the mall is the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen He switched his took a bigger one. It was like it was better in like seventh grade There was a silver chains that were like a hundred and thirty two dollars might as well been a root like a six inch Ruby Yeah, I was like dude. You're fucking going for it And he put it on walked out as soon as we stepped out a guy came out went

On his shoulder me and my cousin were just like later Out of cried a media He had a sit in the mall security booth until his dad came into the mall Do you have to do sexual favors to get out? He probably should have born I've seen I would have done anything to get out of done anything to get out of full casting couch I would have cast it out. I would have got onto the mall security. I would have been in dog I would have initiated. Yeah, I would go on the table. Yeah, let's get it over with it sure I would have little power bottom Getting caught stealing at the mall would have been the apocalypse

Yeah, how do you gotten so much fucking? Lamize, you never had a chain. No, I never really had chains. Left chain. God dog, you get that Italian horn or whatever that thing is? No, I was a crucifix guy for a little while, but as a youth I was like a shark tooth, pooka shell kid.

Whoa. I had a pooka shell as well. I had an alligator tooth too. I had an alligator tooth. You had an alligator tooth? Man, maybe Lamare was right. Maybe you are an outdoor white. That too. I had an alligator tooth. You had an alligator tooth? Man, maybe LaMare was right. Maybe you are an outdoor white. That's what I'm saying.

True. You were in a tough area for white kids to act black. Like North Jersey. Yeah, but I still managed to do it. That feels, yeah, you could be like Sopranos. I managed to do it, but I was like, I went more Rasta when I was coming into my formative years. I can see you hitting the Rasta face

I had the Puka shells at the beach. I did the boardwalk try to get numbers So sick though Puka shells some burnt beyond recognition Yeah, the Puka shells were sick. I never got the Puka's I never got the Puka's but I was dark. I was purple Sick every night every night the beach I was so sunburned. Yeah you would just, we would get the, we would try to go get numbers from the babes at the beach. That would fall apart and then we would just do horrendous horrible pranks.

The poop dollar was the worst. Poop dollar was diabolical. I will say sticking the dollar up between the boardwalk cracks, people would grab it and pull it down. Nothing better. Yeah that's great. So funny. Wait it'd be a poop dollar? I will say sticking the dollar up between the boardwalk cracks and grab it and pulling it down nothing better Yeah, that's great. So funny. Wait, it'd be a poop dollar. No, we leave the poop dollar You want them to pick that up and you're sweet and they go? That's fun, but you can also put you can also put a dollar between the cracks of the boardwalk

Technically the promenade I guess you can stick it through and people like fuck in they go to put their foot down on it And then they lift it up in his car There's much of 12 year olds laughing at you Well, we have every you know We take turns you want to watch because boardwalk guy you couldn't see underneath so you get to watch your boy do it And it was the funniest shit so funny Yeah, that's nice. My favorite memories of the beach was just

once we started drinking. Yeah. Just getting some fucking bum to buy you and your boys a 30 case of fucking Natty Light. It's the best. It's the best. They're the best nights of my life. Yeah, dude, for real.

I literally, I'll second that. That's like my- Usually. That's why I love the beach so much. Yeah. My aunts and uncles would just go get after it all day They'd be done by nine o'clock. They're just Yes destroyed they'd be in a room And we would just have a cooler that had beer sitting in it from noon at like 8 p.m

And we would just devastate the and they'd all wake up and be like You guys drinking beer last night You guys were you fucking? Math there's like there's no way but the one time we got clogs you're like hiding the beer cans under our bed for some reason and They my aunt just like set them out and just wrote a note that said who drank me. We just saw my sister Did not take the fall for me my bro one time what I tried, me and my bro drank a lot of beers. And then my parents were like, what the fuck is this?

And we were like, yeah, Sarah came down here and got fucking shitfaced. It's like, yeah, Sarah just sat here and drank like 25 beers. My mom was like, what the fuck, Sarah? She was like, it was them. I was like, what are you telling me? He just ran to the bus, just scream, cry, run away.

Yeah, I used to get so fucked up at the beach. It was so fun. That was honestly one of my fondest memories of when you're drinking beer and you've been inside the house and you step out and you smell that salt air and you're kind of hammered. You get me going. Bro, it was the best.

Still is. Yeah, true. Nothing beats it. But as dude, as a fucking 14 15 year old It is truly getting drunk was no hangover So sick zero hangover and you just go out and it'd be two in the morning the bars are let out We just walk past like drunk adults and be like pussy Fuck you

It was the worst thing that could happen to you walking out of a bar. Yeah, it's going. You're like, aw, and I can't do nothing. I was like blazing weed out of a corn cob pipe. Just be like, fucking bitch. Oh. Oh. Did you guys get any nice Redding beach trips? No. No.

You guys were talking about getting to the beach. The Redding squad never got to the beach, huh? We just would drink Hurricanes at the park at 3 AM. It was probably funny. It was actually the best. Yeah. I had a Hurricane phase, dude. Three for five Hurricanes was an unbeatable deal could beat it

I would go I would I had a guitar case. I'll keep outside. I'd walk from the bar back to my dorms They would just sell in West Philly. They would sell hurricanes to anybody Yeah, and I mean whatever else probably do and then like I would come back load up a guitar case with as many hurricanes as I could fit and just walk into my dorm like So tight I can never drink the third hurricane. I knew people I could drink all three and I was like dude I got two and I got half of that third one done. I was just like I'm at capacity.

We were kind of doing pussy shit. It was just everybody had one. Everybody had one. One in a blunt. Not bad. Four locals were a bad time. Four locals. I kind of missed four one everybody had one one in a blunt. Not bad tonight Four locals were a bad time for lookers. I kind of missed four. I didn't I didn't really get hit by the four local

Yeah, yeah that took that that was that was a bad time for the bros I got so our co-run was crazy. I had sparks sparks were sick Yeah, sparks were nice, but never got the four locos. I had Nelly. Was it juiced? Nelly threw his hat. Yeah, Nelly threw his hat in the ring of energy drink alcohol. And I think it was J.O.O.S.E. Drank some juice one night, blacked out. I was down in like North Carolina somewhere, completely blacked out.

It was bad. I have a. I hope this isn't what does it give you? I just have a four local. Like like it's not even a memory. I blacked out, but it was on my phone. My girl was staying with me, my parents over way. And I went out drinking with my boys and had four locals and came home, I guess trying to get some pussy,

but also trying to film it. And I just have a, I just had, she was telling me I was being annoying, trying to fuck her last night. And I had this, I just had a video on my phone of me being like, come on, let's film it. She's like, no, we're not doing anything. It's just the phone going down like, all right. That's your sex tape?

Got a Weasley tape. Some bright light in her face and then just, oh no. Just sleepy. No, we're not doing anything. All right. Dang bro. You were unk before you even knew it. I really, I've been a hole full. Shae Shae's gone, you might be the new unk. I would love to be the new unk.

100 million's yours. Dude, the root turned on unk big time. Yeah. They were a vicious article about it. And it was like mean. It was like, not even about his case. They they were like let's all talk about what everyone's thinking he's just dumb it was like damn it was mean like he's like let's all face it he's just a fucking dumbass I know that wasn't a honky that wrote that

one I don't think so better not be better not be I don't think the root would have allowed the honky now yeah rip rip it like that No, I mean it was it was funny like yeah, dude. He's a fucking I'm just gonna say it This guy's dumb as hell fucking tired of it Yeah, they were like they were just saying like he should have signed NDA's like why does he not have control of the sex tape? They're bringing up fair points honestly they're like dude. He just got busted for this what the fuck But also he's probably got crazy sex a ton of them. Yeah, there are dudes There's a strain of dude that has to film. Yeah every encounter. I that was me when I was a kid. I'm not coffee. Yeah

Which is kind of crazy when you think about it as a dope I got like a camera for myspace days and Yeah, I was a big I mean they always knew it was never like yeah Yeah, I've been a fucking devil. Yeah, I was Amazing get in there. What happened here like but I think that was just a smash. What was wrong with his leg? What was that? Me's why were you lifting your leg like that? Uh, I was just untied. Your shoes untied? I was going to tie it, but they just ran out of the way.

Yeah, of course. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. These days, you have to be smart with your money. If you're going to make a big purchase, you've got to make it count. What's something you bought dude every I just invested in two bug tanks I got two bug tanks from National Geographic so they have a little magnifying glass on them I got not one but two what type of bugs you can put in there right now we've only gotten some roly-poly's so you can throw

them in there create their natural habitat and you can kind of like I'd like to see what really boys are up to bro I got I had I catch I catch like me and my daughter's catch like four really boys a day and put them in my garden It's really nice. It's awesome. I have so many really boys So yeah, I got the bug tanks nice man Otherwise you had to carry them in your ever try to carry a really pulling your hand for yeah They fucking they get their escape artists So yeah, I got some bug tanks.

It's been, you know, 30 years. Yeah, yeah, I'm telling you. Since I've tried. It's just as hard. They escape, so. I bought a bug light. You got a bug light? I got a bug zapper out there.

That's, you know, kind of the opposite of what you're doing, but just as fun. You're battling. You sit by the, you sit in the hot tub and all of a sudden, tch-ts-ts-ts-ts. You're like, god damn, that guy. You get some of these big, the bugs out here are so big.

My dad's big on bugs. And they die, they go, drr! You hear them hit the fucking bug light, and they go, Jesus! Oh, fuck! God damn! Another great investment, taking care of yourself. You're talking about these bugs.

I didn't even think about that. Matt, why don't you think about yourself? Traditional therapy can get crazy expensive though, like between $100 to $250 a month or more or something like that. Therapy is worth it though, and you do have options like better help, the help with the bed on it. It could help you save up to 50% per session

while getting the help you need. I've had a lot of sessions where I think about myself, take care of myself. I like therapy because I've benefited a lot of sessions where I think about myself. Take care of myself. I like therapy because I've benefited from therapy. Yeah, I think it's nice. I think it's a nice thing to do. Everyone could learn something from therapy. Yeah, you could just learn how-

Because it teaches you positive coping skills. Like how dumb your family is. And set boundaries. How you're doomed. Yeah, basically you get on a Zoom call and you talk about how dumb your family is. Hate to break it to you, your family or idiots and you're doomed with better help You can work toward being the best version of yourself while saving money and because everything is online

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No tokens. I tried. You cannot use tokens for them. You're stuck with those, you made a mistake, you bought some tokens. But you can talk to BetterHelp, the help with the beta on it. About that. to BetterHelp, the help with the beta on it. About that.

BetterHelp, the help with the beta on it. Hey. Getting in front of the camera, you know the rules. Yeah, getting in front of the camera. Hey everybody, it's Lameer. May 9th and May 10th, I'm gonna be a coastal creative in Florida. You guys gotta cover that, please.

And it also, I'll throw in the question. Where's coastal creative in Florida? St. Pete, Florida. St. Petersburg, Florida I think. Yes. Yeah. That'll be a hoot. And then Optimal Nox is at the Creek and the Cave, May 6th. We have a great lineup.

Oh, who's on it? Nate Marshall. Yeah. Okay. Good job. And if you're in Philadelphia on May 6th, instead of Austin, Texas, please come to my show at Helium Philadelphia on May 6 instead of Austin, Texas, please come to my show at helium, Philadelphia on May 6

Please. Thank you May 31st go to fog at Des Moines, Iowa May 31st I'll be at Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa. Go to that May 31st, Iowa This weekend this very weekend Cobbs Comedy Club, San Francisco, California Five one to five three Crest Theatre Sacramento, California Neptune Theatre Seattle Washington and the Hollywood improv Neptune's awesome Neptune should be sick I got some really good shows. I know my final leg. Yeah, the taping. Those are all great venues I'm pumped man. And also I'll be doing a live taping at the

Ontario, California improv coming up. I didn't list it yet, but it'll be great. Matt, I'm excited to see your new hour on tape. Thank you, I can't wait. It's a really good hour. Thank you, bro. And I like it. Appreciate you, bro. Goodbye, everybody.

Bye. Oh, bro. We're flying. Macchiato's hitting. Yeah. Dang. I'm a big espresso guy now. Yeah.

Sabrina. Shots of it. What'd you say? Sabrina Carpenter. Who's Sabrina Carpenter? It's just me espresso. That's it. Dude, you know what I've been thinking about?

You see the whole thing now about, I think it's kind of already out of the news cycle, but white rappers getting crushed for going country. The game what? Getting crushed for like people who were white rappers that now are doing country. Oh like post Yeah, well, there's a couple others not just him Well, it's like there's machine gun Kelly not country specifically but him going to pop music blah blah blah they tried to get a post they're saying stuff about post more always try to trash pose, but it's also like

Beyonce's Man, yeah fucking beast Beyonce Beyonce's doing country Yeah, but that's fine. I don't care, but it's like why why you attacking my fucking people invented country true She's coming they've been the cowboy hat too and being a cowboy and They invented all I think I think nobody should care about any of it. Yeah They invented all it. I think nobody should care about any of it. Yeah. Hey, agree.

That's what I'm saying, man. Wait, is that the point everybody's been trying to make? Yeah, that's definitely what we're trying to make. It's goddamn music. It's goddamn music. And it's also like, dude, I'm all about the bag, dude. They're getting it big. They tried to get Harlow for that.

For what? What'd he do? Harlow sang a song with an orchestra or something like that. And he's still rapping. Yeah, but it's like, what the fuck? He's not even changing genres. He's still rapping. He just did it's really right. He's not even changing genres He's still rapping He just did it at an event somebody filmed it and they're like hate to see white people use our culture to advance themselves

And then abandon us it's like My thing is like okay. What about the bag dude? It's the bad respect somebody get the bag all the bag That was your Jim Jones had the best take on the whole which McCall it Drake suing UMG Yeah, like the only thing it's bad for hip-hop and Jim Jones is on someone's podcast and he was like bro. He's getting the bank I was like, yeah, I'm kind of with that Kevin. I so hit me with that because I've always complained about tweets and yeah Pen is he's like you're on black Twitter. He's like, he also loves that I'm on black Twitter.

I'm on black Twitter, and it works. You might have wrote that article at the root. Maybe I did. Would it works getting you fired up? No, it works, and then I realize, it's not a unique thought we've talked about before, but everybody's algorithm, if I was a black person and saw white Twitter, I'd be like, god damn, these honkies are fucking racist.

Bro, I'm on white Twitter, bro. I think I got white Twitter because of everybody I know. And that's what it'll do to you. It'll be like, it'll just show you the worst things. I think my algorithm doesn't know, though. It shows me black, like the shit that it will was show white people to get y'all fired up But it also shows me this shit that gets us fired up so I can kind of oh no you're nice

Yeah, it'll ground like I get both. It's the debt kind of keeps you sane. I think I get it helps my Ex is for real like I open it and it's like holy fuck It's like, can we all agree that they're just not good? And I'm like, yeah, yo. Fine, I'll say it. They do it, it's all those guys like, I'm just gonna say this. Nobody said it in the last five seconds. I'll say it.

It's gotta be a business model thing. It's just a business model thing though. It is. It's like, yeah, you get it. It's the algorithm. Yeah. It drives you angry. It's fucking wild, man. Adam Curtis hit that. It fucked me up. Yeah. yeah, you get algorithm. Yeah, it's just I'm angry. It's fucking wild man

I'm Curtis hit that fucks me up. Yeah, and Desk I get we gotta get a new Adam Curtis stock do man. It's been a while I keep looking for him well that shit about how they they claim that they can literally watch your like Micro-expressions as you read stuff, and they'll go yep, and they'll keep feeding you shit like that Just Feeding you shit like that Just Say that the things watching you're like yes camera is watching I read a thing years ago They said they're watching your face through your camera and engaging like you're how long you're staying on a thing all that stuff

Yeah, if you got the wearables they can literally track your biometrics and like it's working on you. It's not working on me, dude Why do they keep sending? Fuck they keep sending me. I? I'm like, oh, fuck, they keep sending me these fucking hot ladies. I'm just clutching my pearls and going, oh, yeah, true. Every time I see the hot ladies, I go, get the fuck off my page. And they notice too, because they go, it's like, scroll. Yep.

Stack up for a second, down, up, down, back up. I hate how well it knows exactly the kind of lady you want to see, too. It's not just, it's like generic hot ladies. Like he likes hot ladies. I could have got your algorithm without ever even knowing you. It's just ladies about to be fat.

I couldn't see you in the room. Thick talk. That is my pole algorithm. And I can't stop it. I wonder if I could have gotten Meze's. Yeah, Meze's is just like a lady going. Yeah. Hot Asian. Yeah. Oh, wait, like for a lady going Hot Asian yeah, oh wait like for babe

No, I mean just guessing guys what his yeah lady is ladies hot out Yours is cosplay. Yeah, it's white ladies gonna be Japanese Yeah, so black lady dressed as a anime character kind of did if I wouldn't have guessed yours Just so you know I guess the wine net Yeah, I rule a thumb I feel like if you're with I feel like if you're with a babe and she gets she can gain weight But the freak has to increase with the weight so the bigger they get the bigger of a freak they have to be cut That's my rule of thumb. I'm sorry fair. You can get as big as you want, but like I gotta be talking about pig wife. Yeah

Yeah, the bigger you get your pig wife exactly yes for every pound every ten Let's say every ten pounds got to be a new thing you unlock that you do pig wife sounds kind of nice Who did I? Pretty pig wife like a BBW. It doesn't matter. Whatever you get bro. Whatever you guys. Yeah, there were some pig moms Yeah, that you would see growing up you go. God damn guys got pig mom, but she's Got a dial the freak I'm not trying to be a dick. That is just my rule of thumb people do whatever they want You are free to gain as much as you please Every 10 20 pounds there better be like a role like an RPG you got to unlock a new thing

Oh, yeah, every just like well, you better get to the gym. Otherwise Some real bad Something I don't even want to do happens. I'm doing it for us. But that would be, I mean imagine that for every 20 LBs it's just like a new act where you're like whoa. Damn I'd be a freak bitch. I gotta get to the gym right now I'm a freak bull.

Freak bull. A freak bull. True, man. You just be at the day one point, I just got to hit a ditty party, bro. I have not been going to the gym. I just got to go deep now. I'd be willing to see what my, there's got to be like,

you know, like the X and Y axis. Yeah. I wonder what like where my, where you would tap out at. As far as the size of the penguin weight goes up the X you go further out the X axis I Mean you might get to the point where you get like a lady you got a You know putting a flat bread To the point where you got to take out a wall to get her out of the house

It might get to the point where you gotta take out a wall to get her out of the house. If you have a giant blob pig wife, and you can just, anything you want, you go in there. Yeah, that's new. Give me your arm. The crane comes in, you're just like, no! You're there, she goes. They rip your ceiling off, you're like, no!

You can't take my blob! Hold on, let me get her back in his rabbit hutch. Oh, yeah. Blob wife? Pure blob. Pure job of the hutch. Let me job with the slut dude. You'd be in a metal bikini standing next to her going, she just kept eating now I'm a fucking freak.

You'd be like Han Solo on the edge of that fucking ring. You'd get sucked into the ring like You get a blob wife. There are dudes obviously with blob lives. Yeah. Oh for sure. I Love the the thousand pound sisters or whatever that shit is so to see keeps trotting out blobs So sick it would be I mean again, it's like you just have to use your imagination But you could probably go pretty it'd be pretty well. You can fuck every part of her Yeah, like I'm a fucker arm. Yeah, and then you would start with Jerry I've talked about feeders and gainers You know what feeders and gainers are Nate no feeder and a gainer is a

Feeder's and gators is a fetish I like talked about this to someone recently like assuming he knew what I was talking about fuck what dude like a bit of a feeder Aren't you so a feeder is when you? So they take so if you're a gainer, you're just someone who's, you're sniffing others. Yeah, you're just gonna feed them. Your fetish is getting people fat. And their fetish is becoming your little fat blob.

And you can just get into that whole thing where it's like you wanna, yeah, eat up, babe. I look like a dabble in different types of love. I see the wheels turning over there. Lemuse, are you sleepy? Yeah, I'm a little sleepy. a little sleepy. Yeah, bro. Why are you so groggy? Yeah, I was having a whoo last night. Oh the live shows last night. Yeah, you're with the babes Yeah, I was with every pose with the bros and the babes PIA the ITM babe crew. Yeah Had a long one, you know, you know it on

You got what do you think about getting a? Something of a mascot for PITM, maybe a blob you guys could Love to have a family. He just hang around the pod chime in with her opinions. Yeah, I think it has to be fair Abraham Honestly, we got a block. Is she willing to gain for you guys? For the right price, I bet she would gain Think I said the funniest thing on the pop-up. Yeah, I bet. Actually, she said I was playing Bitcoin

and I think about it like every day. What do you mean? She's talking about buying and selling Bitcoin. She said I was playing Bitcoin. I don't understand, like she's like you're just that's how I think what the joke is that she is such a lack of Understanding yeah, I'm a coin is that she thinks online games. She was like It's maybe that every day since Did you guys confront her on the poop video? No people are pretty upset about it

I didn't yeah, I didn't get to that part can't bring up the poop vid not even a confrontation. It's like an exploration We were we were beating around the I heard you being around the bush a little Get brought up Like have you ever done cake farts It is funny when you get someone on you're, I'm bringing it up and the whole time you're like, hmm. We only stood 10 toes I think one time. The non-porn porn thing?

No, because she was trying to say she doesn't. We were big on if you charge for your OnlyFans but don't show tits. Not okay. She was talking about she doesn't show tits on her main thing. We didn't let us slide It's pretty proud of that. What's the Beyond the Main thing? Like it was pretty tough of you for three men in a room to confront It's pretty awesome you guys did that

She laughed So it's like and there's another level you you can unlock for that For what for tits? You said the main thing. Yes, you say hers was given all this free plugs You say hers was free and she charges for extra stuff, which is fine I think if but if you charge at all gatekeepers Keep the law around there.

We did. Hey, they see some titties. Wouldn't this be a great gift, we were saying this on the pod, wouldn't this be a great gift if your lady just was like, I put $100 on your OnlyFans account. Have a blast. No.

No? No, I'm not in a Polly relationship. That's not Polly. You think porn is Polly? You're circling the drain. That's, well hold on. I think it's keeping you locked in the non, to not stepping out. You think porn is poly? You're circling the drain. That's, well hold on. I think it's keeping you locked in the non to not stepping out.

You think it is? I think it's slightly freak shit. I think I'll be very happy if my lady- Now it's my blob word of approach. Yeah, how much does my wife weigh at this point? Yeah. If she's a blob, then by all means, yes. I would love to dabble in multiple types of like, love.

Like blob love, what Kanye's got going on love. Just like pure exhibitionism? Yeah, pure exhibitionism, like super like. What about if you exhibit the blob? Wait, what if what? Exhibit the blob. Like I would need a blob. Charge people to come in.

How? I'm saying just- View the blob. I would charge people to come out Get a PR company just to take pictures of your scantily clad blob and publish You will probably make a hundred thousand dollars a year. Just have the fattest lady or the only fans Yeah, people are gonna for sure you're gonna get yeah, you know a hundred thousand was shooting low. Yeah Now we're talking now we're talking pampin. Yeah We're pimp in the blob Once we start pivot the blob, but y'all hit piercing pagoda get like the hundred thirty two dollar silver change We could get our hands on a blob around here

They're out there you find a blob. We gotta get a Dumbo drop though, bro. I don't feel like growing my blow Patients or I mean that yeah, we should we could air drop a blob in here Blob dropped off by a girl. You get the blob out in the La Mer room. True. Yeah. And that's got a good glass. We could charge people to go look at it.

You definitely do. Even though you need the ranch hand back. You need the ranch hand. The ranch hand would be tending to the blob. But I know what you would do, you little devil. True. You would take it, I'd catch you snacking on this whole operation would fall apart But in fighting I saw you with the blood with the fun a lot of invite people would be sneaking out to the blob

A lot of trips to the blog I think I hit me up recently He was like you can buy apparently gorilla food and it's like the same macros for people but it's like two dollars a day so Apparently gorilla food and it's like the same macros for people, but it's like two dollars a day so I would never feed I would feed the blah that the blob is fucking queen dude. Yeah, that'd be uber eats Feeding the blob gorilla food would be fucked If you don't have time should have no other choice than to feed her You can buy apparently like Primate food and it's like the same macros and it's like human grade

It's like three dollars some guys you think I should do this. I was like, I don't know. Yeah, I was like if you want He's like, it's so cheap. This is true. It'd be pretty fucking sick. Just crushing gorilla feed It's probably terrible. Oh, it's gotta be so bad and there yeah, but there's not even any good tasty trees in there They're vegetarian. You might as well see the McDonald's. I'm the board. Did you ever see those guys really? Yeah, true I'm never another aren't they another no the other no, I think girls are Herbivores. Yeah, what the fuck those macros must be fucked. Hey, I Think with animals that you toss fucking anything in there. Yeah true. Yeah, I mean I said yeah, you can You toss fucking anything in there. Yeah true. Yeah, I mean I said yeah, you could

Put a gorilla on steroids before Shit, that would be sick That's we need another pool house for our juice. I used up Now we take it only fans by storm Somebody forgets to lock the Teacher sign language is just going take me to the blob It would need the blood be like Pete the dolphin The Bob would fly away away he would kill himself one day they would come

take your blob once a lady six hundred we find out once a lady six hundred pounds the government comes in and she just goes the claw if the government got wind that we were collecting blobs it it would be like Waco. They'd kind of tank through the fucking wall. They'd come for our blobs. They'd be in a big machine like a pizza planet. The club. We would have to start arming ourselves. We'd have to defend the blob at all costs.

We would for sure have to. Because you know the government can't stand. No, we need some grazing land too. Just get like little pick Astro Turf. Just lay little devs out. I mean, yeah, once we start, once once we make money off the first

blob, I think we get a bottom blob. Yeah, it's a bottom blob. You know, bottom blob. Get all the other blobs and **** We got just take the first blob flip that Three four blobs This Bob's little old yeah, Bob's do they don't last long no Unfortunately our sweet blobs would depart this realm Quickly true you truck them out you get them Is what it is take away do surgery fix the blobs for clone them

The blobs you be careful do you get black youtubers make that blobs a clone? The last thing we want those black YouTubers finding out that we have a blob too. It'd be swarm in the house. That'd be the bug light for black YouTubers. Do you eat food? Three times the points. Do you go anywhere?

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casino where winning is undefeated 19 plus and physically located in Ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca please play responsibly. It turns out your pool house is just like an ancient fucking pyramid thing that we need to investigate The secret to the pyramids Is a board energy vortex you hear them coming to the fatty wop Not a drill. You just hear that shrill like, It's not a drill. You see the episode 2 of Last of Us when they get through the fence, they're going to breach.

This is one big guy. We'd have to definitely secure that fence. Get some dogs. Some spotlights. They just all have miniature fucking Would you help defend the blob or would you side with your black YouTube cohort? Would you be in cahoots with the black youtubers just for a taste of the blob yourself?

You defend the blood I know you trains are gross trains are gross Unless it's a blob Maybe railroad real far apart. He'd be a hard-headed railroad bull, dude No blob talks good, I think it's a good rule thumb. That's all I'm saying and then if you could take it anywhere You want if your business minded obviously like we are yeah, take it anywhere you want Remember the video I sent you this this lady just she just had giant like yeah, dude I found this video online, and it's a lady with I mean dude beyond F's the most giant boobs Yeah, and she it's just her husband tapes her going down a waterslide

In one of those little things like the raft and like it's just every turn. They're just It has like a million views and he wrote a disclaimer being like guys. This is a family video my wife Please don't poke fun at the way. She's built. It's like Being like guys. This is a family video my wife. Please don't poke fun of the way. She's built. It's like Do you need you know you don't you knew what you do statues of her in India? Those guys got a hold of fucking those videos. Holy shit. That is the Bob that is There's a village that's like their exclusive deity. They build the water park like she will come. She'll ride the slide. That would be pretty tough.

I always forget about it. It's a nice thing about how horny you guys are in India. Anywhere where there's a billion, again, the census could be wrong, by the way. I was on warmode recently. Turns out the census is, they totally botched it. They're saying they overestimated it. Over, yeah. And there's a lot less people.

I think so. But the black conspiracy is that there's way more black people than they say. Yeah, that one, I kind of believe I did until I got to fucking Austin. True. Yeah, that's that's just coming from black people that live around black. Yeah. What the fuck? Everyone's black. Why are they saying this? Yeah, I guess you're right. You fly across the country you go

Spin white the entire time yeah true America is a giant double stuffed Oreo What the what the coasts don't understand is the blobs are in the middle New Oregon Trail They're everywhere yeah true man, yeah, if you've done a Missouri Iowa then you head down to the deep south. There's Bob's there's Bob's chillin the best honey boo-boos

talking Arkansas way Here's the thing it's all funny games till the blob turns on you then you gotta go she could turn on you man That would be In no country for old men This is all fictitious, huh? This is all fictitious. We would never fatten a woman up. We would never fatten her up for our own pleasure. Bro. Women will fatten you up though.

They're trying to get the male blob, dude. That's all they do. They love trying to fatten you up. Just so they can shame you. I think it's so they can... We're the biggest fat shamers on the planet. They will fatten you and then shame you. My theory was so that you wouldn't cheat on them They want you fat so you know one else wants you they think yeah That's what I always thought but I do every for every five I pick game though. I got I get free

My fucking blobs walking around Blob just walk behind the camera. We're all sitting here going fucking women nasty bitches My blob just walked behind the camera and we're all sitting here going fucking women nasty bitches I'm saying they will feed you they will blob you up, but you're right. Just of course. It's a lot later. Yeah Yeah, you know where it's like you gave me all these fucking treats You gave me the creamy. I would have never bought I'd never buy creamy also, and there's creamy in the house Yes, I'm gonna take a fucking scoop Oh shit, this this is better I thought it was gonna be I forgot how fucking good creamy is all by the fucking refrigerator need a lot more creamy than I thought

peanut butter ripple bro don't even talk about that man give me some peanut butter You could be a feeder. You might be this might be You gotta dial up the freak for me More do you want you know about my dream I had bro in my head, bro. It's the Patreon. Why the gay thing I wanna- We'll get podiums, but I'm gonna bring in an expert and you debate them. And you have to genuinely debate them. What is it about? What do you think you're an expert on other than wrestling?

Quantum entanglement. Okay. Here we go. I'll find a professor from the University of Texas. Oh yes, there's a close second WWE, the quantum entanglement. Once I've mastered the SummerSlam, I've headed straight into quantum. We can find a professor from Texas to come debate you.

That would be nice, dude. Ooh, we should get a fucking women's studies He'll a mayor Women's studies verse pains in the mouth debate that would be nice, but they're not ready for blot theory. They're not Have you studied blob theory I Mean if you hit a gender studies major with for every 20 you got to get freaky or they Would leave? Fucking leave

They'd be out dude You're not like that kind of we'd like to find a white race professor Yeah, that'd be not oh, I mean good a white African studies. Just come in here and teach you guys some things Get those a white African studies to come in here and teach you guys some things Yeah, is there any white African studies there's gotta be couple gotta be it's gotta be so many white ladies Yeah, true with hyphenated last names Yeah, well those all we can't have her debate. Yeah. Also you guys would be. I'd be pretty excited.

You would get. I'm a big fan. You guys wouldn't ask the hard-hitting questions. You guys would be like, I think you're pretty good at the NAACP. Yeah. Personally. You have an OnlyFans, I know that.

Do you share your chips? That was just icing on the cake. I was a supporter of hers before that. Yeah, she was just a white lady that loved black people too much. I was just doing a university before before yeah, she was just a white lady that loved black people too much Texas racial studies yeah She's getting nasty on the only fans for a while. What's she getting ass? Yeah? Yeah

Like in the nicest way possible she was getting nasty, but it was like beautiful. Yeah She has been a she's been a bad. She's been a bad girl. Yeah Dan it's so nice to just doggy your way out of a like racial standard. The Department of Race, Ethnicity, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. I like that. It's all one thing?

Oh, yeah. Being gay and being black is the same thing. It is weird. Why do you guys get looped in with that all the time? I need them to stop. It's not that it's a problem. It's just. It's just weird. If it was like Irish Studies and gay people, I'd be to stop. It's not that it's a problem. It's just it's weird

It was like Irish Studies and gay people Just like somebody's doing and going got him like afterwards like I don't call him gay Yeah, they're gonna hate this is gonna make them so mad It's kind of BS man, come on now. Give me the... There's no honks. I can't find the directory for the... Oh we could bring in Italian studies. That would be nice. It's definitely just language. God damn it. Yeah true. Yeah I was thinking there was... It's right above Jewish studies in the listing here. Is Jewish studies. Is that the same thing as Jewish studies Italian studies gay guys and Probably it's just yeah black studies

That's kind of did do I remember when like universities started doing ebonics do we they don't do that anymore Do they was that a thing for him? I swear to God I think that was like maybe one or two places did that I like I might go back and major in it. Yeah That's fat Will be so funny to sit in Cap yeah call him Cap will be so nice Yo teach just trying to figure out when to say type shit. Like I don't exactly know how to put it into a conversation. Type shit is so nice.

They should study bonics, that would be sick. That would be tight man. I think that was like a thing. The origin. It's still a thing. I guess if you do linguistics maybe it's just like a... Cause I remember just back in the day you'd hear about it. I didn't know anything about it about like I didn't know the specifics I remember they like busted that out on colleges were like we got a it could have just been like just linguistics like let's dive into this

But I don't know I don't know motherfucking thing faculty is the word I was looking for there you go Professors guys Nerds. The directory to your talking nerds. Damn, everybody here has a made up name. For real? The faculty directory. What kind, what are we working with?

I don't feel like naming this. Yeah, yeah, don't name names. Oh, who's that guy? Are they caucasoids? Some are. Oh, is there one? Is there one? Yeah, there's that guy? Are they caucasids? Some are. Oh, Bernini, there you go. Yeah, there's one for you. What? Is it caucasids?

That's what I call them. I like that. What is this for? What thing is this? This... What's it a part of? I hate to be a jerk, but it looks like engineering. Oh. That's why everyone has made up names.

There's not one... there go there he is there is one guy yeah engineering is gonna be dude I had I didn't do engineering every name yo fucking gibberish yeah engineering dude Drexel was in engineering school and like, I had teachers I like couldn't understand. Just for like math classes. That's who's coming over here to battle us. Yooo. That's our final boss. Lamise, can you handle- Lamise, you're done for.

Get an engineering professor to come debate like critical race theory. True. It's like, um, uh, I don't, this isn't my area of expertise, but shut up nerd. Do big words. I know about making bridges. What'd you like to have Sean? We can get our hands on one of these.

I looked up the African American studies faculty and it's a, it's it. There's not really any caucasoid. There's no caucasoid. No, there's one. Looks like an Asian man. I feel you on that. They knock that off like they were like, sorry, guys, we'll get you a new job. But you can't do this anymore. Never mind. I got one.

We got it. He looks like Mark Zuckerberg. I'll bring him in. Can you see that fellow? Let me take a good look at that fella you probably be so angry Wow Wow Now is yeah, we can't whatever we can't do that you can't release this man's Whatever we have to yeah Or we could have LaMare moderate a debate between two professors and then have him summarize everything in between It'd be kind of nice. It'd be like yeah gender studies versus

astrophysicists and be like go go That's a good debate though. We kind of say I show for versus yeah, it'd be like made up bullshit versus made up bullshit. Totally unprovable gibberish versus totally unprovable gibberish. Go ahead, stuff that doesn't fucking matter. Go ahead. Going back to school for gender studies would be nasty. I did social work. I might as well go all the way back

It's dude. It's being in a hostile classroom. I kind of genuinely miss it. It's so fun Yeah, it's good that you were old enough to be able to handle that I was big dude before 25ers Charlie Kirk I lived it for two years Yeah, I just didn't know it was like a cool thing on the internet should have live stream the class. It was 25 What is it? Well, like there was like conservative youtubers will like debate 25 college students at a time Oh, yeah, yeah, sit at the table five woke students versus Charlie. Yeah. Yeah I'll be like I don't like being gay Yeah, he's talk fast as fuck yes dumbass

Be real calm and condescending the entire time. Yeah destroy the Nervous college destroy Yeah, dude, I'm just gonna go there you guys triggered yet I'd have I'd have tape over my mouth the whole time. Yeah. All right, I guess I'll take this. Oh, yeah I'd have about I'd have tape over my mouth the whole time. Yeah. All right, I guess I'll take this. Oh, yeah Think Trump jr. Has a podcast called triggered. Does he? Oh, yeah Hey, are you ever listen to it? I didn't listen to it yet, but I saw the image for it and

Yeah, damn. That's good. I'm gonna say that stinks Yeah, it does. That's a huge money maker. Huge money maker to deal with. Again, respect the bag. You always gotta respect somebody getting the bag, but. Oof, it's tough. Somebody should have helped him. Is the font fire?

Whoa. Breaking the blog. Oh, shit. Breaking the blob! Breaking the blob! Oh shit! Trump, there's an episode of Triggered called Breaking the Blob, dude. I thought we were... Trump Jr. on Triggered already sat down with Mike Benz and discussed what we need to do to shatter the blob.

They're trying to take our blob. What the fuck? They're trying to break the blob. They know it it's too powerful I'm voting Dem this next election. If they're gonna take away my right to blob. It's a blue wave. The bear blob is a total blue wave. If the Republicans are trying to get your hands off my fucking blob. Bro, the government's coming for your blobs over my dead body. I feel like the blobs have been staunch Republicans for a while. That's another thing that happens. You blob out so hard, you do become a fascist. I think the soda man got them pretty hard. True.

Also, RFK's got to be a real... he's a menace to the Bobs. Blobbuster. Blobbuster. I'm secretly rooting for him so hard, dude. I can't wait until he bans all that bullshit in our food Yeah, they're like dies Like yeah, there's just like 70 things illegal to put in foods in Europe that we eat. Yeah No, I'm off again now getting rid of that shit. I that shit confuses me sometimes that we're not spazzing about it

You know, yes, but it's very funny when a guy in Trump's cabinet does it. So then everyone's like, No, yeah, we need those dies. I know. Yeah, it was like, do you want your gummy worms to be gray? Kind of yeah. Root beer barrels. Those things are good. The root beer bottle gummies. Those fucking rule like they better not be fucking dies. It's all dies. But you can do it. You can you can easily remove those things. It'd be a little more expensive. You can remove that shit pretty easily.

Still keep the color and remove it? Yeah, dude. You can use like beet juice powder and all that bullshit. I mean you might not be able to have like certain, you could probably honestly get certain hues. I used to make gummies and I would use, I used natural dyes in my gummies. I had some of those gummies. They were good Definitely taking away my my kifi crawlers Kifi crawlers were a stupefied million dollar idea Kifi crawlers are so nice at these bug gummy molds and I would I would Toast keef with sugar so I decarb the keef and then once I got the gummies

when they're still sticky, I'd roll them in keef. You could actually eat because it was activated. Those used to fucking crush me, dude. Keefy-crawlies. I would drive around. Bro, I got destroyed off those fucking things. The skizzlers. The skizzlers, those, don't even bring those up.

I think that was just heroin. The skizzlers. I think that was just heroin. I think that was just fentanyl. They might have had fentanyl. That was pure fentanyl, dude. I was getting blind. They were in alcohol tincture, so you were also eating like Everclear.

I was just trying to play FIFA, and then I'd be... What'd you give me, dude? I'm blind. Yeah, those things are sick. Matt, I was a fucking, you were a feeder back then. I was a fucking feeder back then. I was just sitting in the living room trying to game and you would come in and go, here, eat this. I was MK Alty.

I was MK Alty. You MK'd be bad there. Just in the kitchen making shit. I was like... I remember I boiled off I like took great alcohol made an extraction put in a rice cooker and their backyard and it was just the smell of just Like burning alcohol. It's a really harsh smell and then I thought it was done So I was like, alright

I guess all the alcohol is out and I put my face in it to like and I just I don't know why I took A big whiff and it like I just inhaled a bunch of alcohol fumes. It fucking felt weird. I bet yeah It was not a good feeling. I kind of panicked for a while. Definitely took me aback I had like this that shit had to fuck if I had this device that I forget the name of it But it was like a week. The Nova decarboxylator. I Think was sick. I can't remember I still got us or the magic butter machine It's like a magic butter machine, but it was called something else, but I tried to make tinctures with it and it broke, like it broke just making it.

I think the fume just broke a hinge on it and then the paint under it was all gone. What were you doing making tinctures? It was during, this was like 2020, everything was done and board is hell in the crib. I'm lucky I know about that. I would've had a slide on you, dude. I was all the way in Jersey. I wasn't even in your territory. I wasn't bringing it down there. I would've had a slide on you, dude. Yeah. I was all the way in Jersey.

I wasn't even in that one. Nah, you were in our territory, bro. I wasn't in your territory. I wasn't bringing it down there. You're trying to fuck with Mount Vernon's, Mount Vernon mafia, bro. I would've had to snatch the Dragon Chain, bro. We would've snatched your chain, no problem. Nah, the Dragon Chain's gonna be menace.

That was actual menace. We would've sent our top hitters, dude. We would've sent Wood and Bees. Yeah, true. We would've been dead, dude. Our top hitters. Our top hitters, our fucking coppers. We would've sexually blackmailed you with bar dogs.

The bar dog. Bar dogs legend. Bar dog would have got your ass. No, I would have never got me. Never know what hitter I took out for sure. You could have got the bond off the bar. I just saw three of them. I never got to the bees. No, no compromise the bees though Bees is down

Man's a wild card he could have got it. Yeah, we just sent him to your house. He would have killed you Wouldn't have made it that'll be Game of Thrones. They would kill the wrong guy. He would have like smashed the baby. What did you do? That was House of Dragons. I think. Oh, dude, I'm walking. You know, I used to eat. It was like I had the bug mold. The butterfly was like the smallest.

Then there was a spiders that had these centipedes butterfly was like the smallest. Then there was the spiders. Then I had these centipedes. I did the math. They had to have been at least like 120 milligrams. And like, dude, I could only, I did a spider once and was rocked. And I remember I would eat those like a butterfly and a spider in the morning and just forget

and be driving around. And just they would hit me and I would be blasting LS Dream. The music I used for the intro for the first special was like, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah. Trying to cross Lancaster Ave like, Blastin LS dream the music I use for the intro for the first special just like wow Trying to cross Lancaster I have like I'm never getting across Like I'll never get across the street Lancaster I was a tough place to be high shit. Oh, it's that sucks man. I clocked a lot of hours driving up that just like Like s or abs fucking chaos. Yeah, it is absolute fucking chaos

That street is nuts, dude So it's also if you were like walk up and down there what? Open air it's open air sex Hose are on Lancaster F. That's nice lots of hose That's nice lots of hose Yeah, you go get the blob For sure Damage shorts are so fucking sure my yeah, she's in the podcast anyway. What are we in an hour? I'm about to whiz yeah, I gotta pee big time that fucking fluid dude. That was good stuff juice wine. Thank you