Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Yo0o00o. Big Shang's away on bizzniss so we chopped it up at the podiums yesterday and took some calls from the D.A.W.G.Z. The rest of the jam sesh on the patreon, and if you want to be notified and call in for the next sesh the info will be posted on the patreon. Please enjoy. God Bless. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, wow, Wes and starting right now. God damn it. We're in we're live dude powerful. We're fucking live We have so much tech going on right now. It's the first time on the free episode We've done the call-in really I really but right now it will just pod like natural, bro Okay, got a bunch of we got a wall of bros in the zoom just staring at us on the screen. I Can't pod God damn it. How you guys doing? How was Mother's Day? Did you guys call your mothers?

I did call them. I didn't get nothing. I feel pretty bad about it though. How did you get my mom? Oh, no, I split a present with my brother. That's a solid move. I just gave her a nice call. How you doing?

That's all they want. What else are you going to get her? Start to send her some Amazon flowers, but then I don't know. Amazon flowers? Amazon flowers? I wasn't going to get there today and it was like, well, at that point she don't even care no more. Yeah. My mom doesn't like flowers. I think't know. Amazon flowers? I wasn't going to get there today. And it was like, well, at that point, she don't even care no more. Yeah. My mom doesn't like flowers. I think my mom, my dad used to be a flower dude, and then he stopped.

And that's why I think it brings it back to like somebody still getting me flowers. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, most they love flowers. My pops used to try to be a romantic, romantic, rent a limo, go do. He used to be like that kind of guy. He went all out for it. Couldn't afford it, though. It's probably a real bad move. Now, the limo, go do, he used to be like that kind of guy. He went all out for it. Couldn't afford it though, it was probably a real bad move. Now the limo's a nice move.

Flowers really anymore are just for them to display on social media just to crush other women. Yeah, or when you're working in the office, like that's what I used to do. I used to send up my girl drones and that was all it was for. So the other bitches would be like, I wish he was mine. Oh, so all the co-workers see it?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a crazy Mac. And every lady in the place is jealous. Yeah, that's nice. Oh, they're really beautiful. Why don't you get them? Bitch. Get off my fucking flowers, lady.

Fuck you. Happy Mother's Day. We went to church. Happy Mother's Day. It was fucking lit, dude. Church? We went to church on Mother's Day? Yeah.

Dude, it was, we never went to this place before. The preacher, it was like those Texas churches. It's not like a Catholic mass. It's just like the, we never went to this place before. The preacher, it was like, you know, those Texas churches. It's not like a Catholic mass. It's just like the standard format of the bro. I think they, we missed the intro jam. Yeah. And then the guy, yeah, we missed that. And then the jam.

Was it a black church? No, no, no. No, no, it was like white. It was like, it was like white black church. Okay, all right. It's not a white church. Yeah, yeah. Like, righteous gemstone style.

It's, it's similar, yeah. It's not, it wasn't as overblown and theatrical, but it was like we just walked in on the, I guess the passer just cooking dude. It was like a 40 minute speech and he was like, he's literally a bro. And he was just talking about men and women and he was like just he was like I'm painting broad strokes, but strokes, but it was nothing like sweet and kind of, it was just like, listen dude, like kind of giving women the business on my back. It went sweetly and kind of encouragingly. I was just sitting there just fucking like,

go brother, go. What was his like angle? He was just saying, we need to work together. He's like, we're being divided and women are getting crushed thinking like, you know He's like basically being like dude You don't you know if you want to have a job have a job who cares But he's like the fourth the societal force is trying to tell you if you don't have a job you're less than yeah

He goes it's coming straight from the pits of hell preach brother He was ripping. He was basically saying dudes need to be made to feel like They can like do I have what it takes and women are thinking do I am I enough? Yeah, he was like how you can answer those questions and also nicely being like again look women like kind of shut the fuck up This guy up tell him he's a beast Pick up the fucking paper towel off the ground Say a prayer throw the fucking trash and don't bother the guy about it I might have to go catch that good word

Go back to the Bible being like yeah, sorry, dude, you know you guys went back to the garden he was like Look, this is just a story. All right, you guys fucked it up That's why childbirth hurts sorry heavy mothers dude. He was he was nice I should and he was very he was very tactful about it. It was nice What made y'all make the move like the church mother they move Brittany loves church Oh, I like planned. I just try to plan like the ideal day do you to pastor? I've never been to a church where the the preacher the pastor the priest could get pussy Can't pass it helps him. Yes when the, when they don't get any sniz,

like they talk about relationships. Little boy. That's true, that too. That, look, that's universal. A lot of those churches get, someone gets caught up. There's one. At every church. I'm convinced.

I think there's, apparently there's like way more pedophiles than people think. Yeah. I watched, we talked about it last week. I watched a clip and this guy was like, bro, it's everywhere. Everyone's going for this stuff. We were, I was thinking, I almost brought this up when we were doing the page last week because we were talking about X videos and how fucked up some of them videos look.

And you can always see the counter on like, it'll be one where it's like, that looks crazy, but it'll be like 30 million views and it's just like That's crazy. Like you know what I mean? Like if that makes sense We're talking about them porn's then the girl x-video looks too young you try to fire it all you see like how many people? Have you and you can see right under the video how to do a beauty in the numbers are always nuts It's always like a billion views. I know it's but on what kind of pornography do you mean like oh? legal kinds of We were saying that x-ray you weren't there like yeah

There's there's I noticed I had been off the hub for a long time just cuz like you know due to Legislation in the state I couldn't go on point hub proper And I like was in San Francisco, and I was like oh, let me check out what they're up to and it was just like This lady who looked like she was a teenager And there was just like a huge feed of just her stuff and it was just kind of like Stop with this. Yeah, like dude young looking. Yeah. No, I know. Yeah, I see it They're fired up, but it does help when the pastor is getting sniz. Yeah I mean, I got us off track like that

That's straight from the pits of hell. Yeah, and the pastor is getting is dude They were and it's like nice because it's coming from It's such a good central authority to come from like not it's not you being like It's a guy being like God said that he's giving us the word of God Yeah, God's telling you to stop being so mean to yeah hype this guy up And it was same thing he was like dude if you want your babes to stop hassling you you gotta You got a he had these two little piggy banks He's like you got to fill her piggy bank man you give it like a month where you're just chilling with her

Non-stop almost the point where she's like alright enough of you because then you can go party with the fucking bros I mean I'm obviously summarizing, but that's what I got for me. He was jacked too Just a jacked bro jacked pussy getting pastor. He's the man. Well, yeah married in there. He's mad for sure Yeah, he's married. Okay. No. No. Yeah, I'd been crazy if he was single being like these bitches on the app No family outside and giving his Instagram to the girls leaving No, family man threw it through. He's hanging out outside and giving his Instagram to the girls leaving the store. Yeah, also speaking of which bro, I fucking showed up here and realized I had my wife's keys for the car in my pocket. Just like, god damn.

You should start holding it down like that though. Like you can't go nowhere. Like you're staying home. I should man. Car privileges revoked. Paycheck straight to fucking me. It's actually the opposite. I have, she handles everything. I have no idea what's going on financially.

That's how I would be too. It's like a samurai, that's what the samurais did. They gave all the responsibility. Any earthly responsibility, it's like I don't even want to know man. You're just concerned with war and... Just strat. I see. And haikus, I just want to sit and grassy know and just concoct haikus.

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That was tight, we did that. Had a little BBQ at my house. Yum. It was yummy. What were the meats? Lobster. Seafood. Seafood, oh, seafood bars.

Yeah, my black queen of seafood. Oh. I got a bar. Get my black queen a seafood. I got a white boy on my roster. He feedin' me pasta and lobster. I saw my mommy on set. What? I saw my mommy on set. That was nice. What did you guys do? We went to an Italian restaurant and got really drunk. Nice. Philadelphia, yeah.

That's awesome. That's awesome. What do y'all think about this? Happy Mother's Day to just a dog? My girl, we have a dog. She says she's a dog's mom. That's her white girl stuff. She kinda was shooting for it.

I felt it towards the end of the day. She was shooting for Happy Mother's Day for a minute. No. I'm a big no. I'm not gonna lie. I did give it to her in the moment. It's a funny joke though. For sure. Yeah, but I was like, come on bitch. I'm a big no, I'm not gonna lie, I did give it to her in the moment. It's a funny joke though.

Yeah, but I was like, come on bitch. It's also, to be fair, I feel like any of those Hallmark type days, if you play it right, you can get some motherfucking ass. True. You know what I mean? So you should have played up the dog bomb and be like, bro this is crazy. I didn't even think about it. I showed up late.

I got home late from, I went to the Stars game yesterday, Dollars Stars, got in that ass. And bro, showed up at 10. Just no energy. I got home late from I went to the Stars game yesterday. The stars got in that ass And they showed up in ten just no energy. I was cooked. I just was sitting there I couldn't give her nothing on Mother's Day if she wanted it. You're all hockey down. Yeah. Yeah, I was screaming I was having a good time. I didn't know nothing that was going on. I came back and broke her off with a hockey dick Just grabbing her shoulders Yeah, it was a it was sick. I showed my wife the Kanye video by the way the which one his newest latest song Double-h Name the title of the song that's how band it is, I read about that, how it's just scrubbed immediately.

Yeah, I mean, the most shocking part of it to me, other than obviously it's lyrical content, is the warehouse full of black dudes dressed like wolves. Yeah. Yeah. What are they? Is that like, how much did he pay them for that? Because I imagine that would go against your weighting. A life-changing moment for you.

You're done getting worked as a video boy. Now I guess I don't know what you call the video, male video, Nazi Vixen. Although what I wonder now is like, you know, not for myself personally, but I wonder if that opened up like a world of guys who like, if you're into like cucks and bulls situation, being like, dude, that's, that would be if I was in a bulls that would be a charged situation Just there's a black Nazi dressed like a wolf Maybe maybe he's getting pivoting to furry Well, did you see the thing where he was on the sneaker live stream and like I don't know if it was

Staged or what but he was just talking about like not cucking in general No, I didn't see this they were talking about he was talking about like yeah like people might think it's cucking But he was like basically talking about like loaning your babe out. Oh, he was actually called a stag vixen There's a there's a it's a different than my brother Tom just texted me He was like you down with stag vixens and he broke it all down and it's not so much like a cuck But it's more of a proactive proactive role where you bring your babe and then I mean it's just straight from the pits of hell So you bring your babe to a function and you got you have a hoe bag So you have a bag of toys you're just carrying. Yeah, probably something if you're balling probably not you're scoochy down

It's like a huge bag full of just toys and you go to a function you just you find your your man wolf clothing And then you're like you organize it more you're like here's the whole bag Do you get a big like the does he give give you one of his base? Is it a trade? I don't know if it's a trade Yeah, I don't know if we can still trade babes right now I don't really if we can still trade babes right now. I don't really understand them that much. But you know, I think it's just more of a,

I think it is more into the cuckold territory, but that's more of a, just like an empowered cuckold. That's not good Mother's Day talk. It's not, at all. I wonder if you got Kim anything though. If what? Mother's Day? Yeah, I wonder what Kanye got Kim Kardashian

for Mother's Day. I hope not a day. Yeah, but you know, she's Kardashian for Mother's Day. I hope not What yeah, but you know she's still mommy after it all she's still mommy after all she deserves a card You might have got serves a card or maybe a bouquet or I don't know maybe a diamond encrusted swastika But yeah, that was it was fun watching the game What do you think about this and put it on for her slowly? Just being like what? She did not know she was not following the Black Nazi news. I've been trying to really unplug because it's been too too racially charged lately. It is man everything

They're just trying to get me so bad. I'm not gonna let him get me They're going you want the race war so bad. They can't make me hate my brothers and sisters. That's what I'm saying, dude. It's the last thing I'm gonna do. I know, I don't even think, I mean, maybe they're getting people. I read a study one time that said, there was just a book I was reading,

but they said 70%, it was based on a study they did a long time ago, just trying to discern kind of levels of awareness and how people view the world, if like, whatever. But they said 70% of people were, frame the world ethnocentrically, where they're just like, if you, and if you, it kind of checks out. If you go to any country, it's like Italy has the best food,

the best people. Oh, I see, so, okay, I'm not, I was, ethnocentrically, how does it, how do they mean? Like your ethnicity. Okay. Is like the central defining characteristic of your your entire reality and people who aren't part of your ethnicity are like just just not part of your squad You feel better than them Like black people do it I'm not gonna throw them

It's like yeah, like we're clearly the best everyone's evil, you know, yes some white people on Twitter They'll be like, yeah. Yeah, I see now I think we're the best and you know if you go to the country by country It's like no our country is the best I see it's crazy percent of people view the world You know kind of like that. It's crazy how many countrymen each act that way, but they're so clearly wrong Just we're all like bro. Yeah, we're from Latvia. We have I hate to break home. I hate to break. You're not even in the fucking running I think people would miss y'all People might even know yeah

Pretty new they should do you help her countries just just the whole country's on Yelp, and you're like yeah I went to Lafayette one star One fucking star I got a group on Dude, I was reading about the countries that have the most journalists in prison. I was reading about the new pope. He was like, I guess his first... American pope? American pope came out dude. American as hell, bro. He was like, we got to protect freedom of speech. We got to release the journalists who are prisoners. And the top offending countries, I think are China. Israel's in the mix. Really? Israel has a lot of journalists.

Well, here's the thing. And they even I would have never. Well, and then they clarified in the article because I was like, holy fuck. And then they were like, because it's like China. Can we look? I'm going to see what the top five countries are. It's definitely China and Russia's top five. I thought they wouldn't be on the list. That was about to be my guess. I thought they were just be on the list. That was about to be my guess I thought they were just bodying them

Now they got they hold those guys Yeah, hold them in jail because I think they try to like flip them Yeah, you know what'd be really cool now that you're in jail to write like cool stuff about us. You know, we're fucking awesome But yeah, they were saying it's a yeah. There it is Myanmar China Belarus, that's a fucking wild one in Mars a Belarus Turkey and Egypt bro people are going to saying the pyramid tours are bullshit spud better watch out True. Yeah, and then I think Israel's just Israel wasn't on that list for a while and then through the war now They're like number three. They got a lot of journos really

Lot of good look no, it's a terrible look. I mean, if you're locking journalists up, you probably are up to something bad. You don't want to get out. Yeah. Like there's there's there's not a world in which I have to arrest somebody. People can say whatever they want. Soon as I'm like, yeah, put that guy in a room for a while. I don't know. You say that. But Lamar said I kissed my dad on the lips a couple of weeks ago

and I True you put the mayor in a room for a while yeah, I'd lock you up for something like that I Mean that's kind of thing you're running a country and they're they're saying something to that You're saying because you didn't lock him up because you know it's not true true if it were true Yeah, that's actually a good point. You'd have to toss them there in a motherfucking room But I did see my daddy this weekend. He saw him. How was the urge to kiss? He did not kiss Hell yeah. Unfortunately. I saw all this stuff going on with Barstool. Sounded like y'all knew who was going to go.

Did we talk about that or no? Are you doing a speaking of which? Speaking of. Yeah, speaking of. Yeah, dude. So what I gather, there was just a guy, I think he was like a Middle Eastern bro, if I'm not mistaken.

Yes, that's right. And he was at the Barstool bar, and when you get bottle service, you're allowed to like a message in case I guess it's somebody's birthday Or you know if you're burning with a message to send to the world otherwise, and he wrote I think fuck the Jews That's what on his and the bottle girls brought it out. Yeah, and he at which here's following orders To be fair then they, they got fired. The girls got fired. Yeah, Portnoy fired the two women. And then he offered to reeducate the young man, the Middle Eastern man who was bawling out. Yeah, he said he was going to send him to Auschwitz. But well, he said he wanted to give him a tour of Auschwitz. Yeah, but he also said he's going to get him a trip to Germany because he was under the impression that Auschwitz is in Germany Which is false. It's in Poland

See I didn't know that I had no idea I could have got I went to my bar stool sponsored Auschwitz tour. I could have booked the wrong flight as well It was fun to be in Philly for that. I couldn't stop talking about it I just kept being like let's go get bottle service be like, but we're not thirsty. We just want this You might have to go to Al Schwitz dude Next I'd go I'd go check it out. Check it out. Listen, I know that I would I'm being honest I'm in Europe and I'm like, there's so much stuff Yeah, I can go to like the Mediterranean it's like, you know, let's go to a fucking former site the military camp go kill Jewish people

I'm like now. I'm straight dude. Yeah, I'm gonna eat this motherfucking grub. Yeah, then you gotta go away You said it was in Poland. Yeah, yeah, I don't know I don't know if I know offense to Poland I think Poland might rise as a world power one day, but I don't know that I go to Poland if I'm in Europe You only have so much time. Yeah, you know They're all just trying to screw in light bulbs You know so funny to me when I found out how dumb white people think Polish people are My whole life never and although I heard they have the hogs They're like fuck it. Why would you?

Yeah. That shoved out. That was from a book I read. They talked about the guy would always talk about the big Polish hog. Yeah. Pretty sick. Hey you.

I know, for real. But yeah, that whole situation was funny because then the guy tried to get in on the racially charged GoFundMe train. Yeah. And I think everyone had just gave their last dollar to that white lady Yeah, so they they had already cleaned up so this guy was like it's time to cash in

And then he was like yeah fuck that dude, and then he was like give me some money I think he raised like 20 G's which damn we got to say everybody's raising 20 G's now They're due to other people race. Well. Yeah, yeah Doing go fund me's for Getting in when they get in trouble on the internet Yeah, it's the new thing because you can you can like you know if you find I say like you get bottle service You know you say whatever fuck did you whatever you want to say you get on the thing you get your do your fuck the Jews bottle Service yeah, which by the way, there's probably probably so many people hearing about that who started sending

Yeah, which by the way, there's probably probably so many people hearing about that who started sending Fogger messages. Yeah, just for like it sounds funny, but just for fun probably. Yeah, was you saying he sent that to Portnoy? No, no, no, no just got word of it. Yeah His bar is bar stool bar on Sansa. Oh, you know the one across The bar so bar and the guy when pressed he was like look I have no problem But they are doing a genocide is there one of them here ready? He went into his big thing and then Portnoy refund resented his offer to send him to you can't go to Auschwitz anymore now Yeah, sorry, but I don't know how she was for you. You got to do that on your own dime now you made $27,000 You know no Kyle always be if he's like he could have just wrote Israel. It would have been so funny so much It I guess yeah, or he meant what he said yeah

I know they looked into this guy and apparently again according just according to news allegedly he has some content up where he's pretty clear Being like yeah, not a fan Not a fan. Yeah, they don't yeah, he does not like them He's really going on like white supremacist podcast or whatever this is cassis and everybody was there too So they knew about it more than I did and I guess he's like going on like racist dudes podcasts And they'd be like oh that was really good about the Jews, but then it'd be like we still don't like you though then it'd be like, but we still don't like you though. Because you're Middle Eastern. We don't like you either, but we like you a little bit more.

Like what you just said. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the hardcore white Christians in the Middle East, and that's been the defining thing between them, being like, good call guys, but fuck you guys too. It's just such an impoverished worldview. It's like, dude, you can't fully bro down. You're that filled with hate.

It's like, your bro down is always gonna be kind of handicapped Yeah, that must have been a crazy vibe Fuck the Jews bar still bar fuck the Jews and then just like you sort of know T. Estos playing Yes Yeah, yeah, well again seem like a place you to make it want to make a statement like that But they were probably just being nasty like a Nazi babe would I mean she's like you won't do it I'll suck your dick right now. I don't think that probably not babes exists. Yeah, there is that one that said then we're Says the n-word all the time. I ever seen that lady who the lady at the park

No, no, no, do you do you guys not know what I'm talking about? That's it's hard to explain Meese do you know who I'm talking about? Shoot these Meese's not on that only fans Holy fans, but she I think she did like Piers Morgan or something And he's like do you use the n-word and she was like yes, here's Morgan's really scraping dude the dregs of the internet He's really trying to get that show poppin Yeah, yeah, yeah on yay walked off He was like you have 33 million whatever followers and he's like I point nine 33.9 just walked off like no you fucking facts

That what he said what he said what they say don't take inches off my don't take it just off my Cuz if you first hear it, it's like alright, it's a couple points So your followers then you hear a word it don't take inches off my dick and you're like all right Yeah, you made a hunt I get it now. Yeah, that's pretty funny He's really Piers Morgan's really going after pretty much anyone who's like you know He'll he'll cast a wide net on the internet be like what are you doing? And they're like fuck you dude shut the fuck up Yeah, yeah But I'm gonna start with that rage baiting.

You sure? It's up. Yeah, you could. It's there, bro. It's there. But you can all do it. Yeah. What would you do if you rage baited? I don't know. I don't know. Lamar's been doing it lately with the hot dog in the in the mouth guard and the hot dog water.

That's kind of rage bait. That's just good old fun right there. You could go. You could go hardcore against black women. That's a of rage bait. That's just good old fun right there. You could go, you could go hardcore against black women. That's a sick thing. Black people do. Yeah. I mean, white dollars. I would make some big white dollars if I started to play that.

Good. White bucks. It would be nice to fall in just a million white bucks. Just one hot weekend, dude. Start, they just start to go for it. Maybe be rich. But then that's got to be a thing for the rest of one hot weekend, dude. Start and then start a go for it. Maybe be rich. Then that's got to be a thing for the rest of it. You can't.

I could maybe try to come back. I could flip it. Could flip it. Be like, just fine. I got to have to replace my woman now. That would be and I don't want to do that. That's the only way I can think I can flip. If you went at black queens, you'd have to replace.

I'd have to give a black queen and be like, and like share the wealth. Or you could just wait. Why? What do you mean? You could get some money. You see there's no coming back. The only way to come back is to be like and like share the wealth or you could just wait why what do you mean you could get some money you said there's no coming back the only way to come back is to be like I started all over get it the sheikie get a black queen yeah you could umar or I could get dollars on fuck everybody's

head up it's been a quiet would be nice yeah fall in love with Rachel Dollazol yeah Nate loves Rachel Dollazol you could maybe try to do maybe try to do one of those uh which one it threesome podcast oh Like what's his name? 22 22 I don't know what's the fucking Chad doing bring these motherfucking bros in here before we go to the chair you want to do the Oh, yeah Let's keep this electrifying energy going

Sorry freaking Christ. Yeah, let's get this quick ripped the band Christ. Yeah, let's get this out of the way. It'll be quick. Rip the bandaid off. Let's get this out of the way. Guys, forgive us. Actually, I shouldn't even qualify like that, but yeah, you know what I mean. All right. Before we get back to this awesome show, here's a real quick special segment called More or

Less Playoff Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePix. It's the playoff in every game's insane, and we're basically watching a bunch of basketball players crumble under pressure Geez really though. It's a little jokes. Are they they're been crumbling, huh? It's all Yeah, I thought the Celtics are supposed to be good and they're staying getting crushed by the Bunker box. Yeah, the Knicks. I mean that one was supposed to be a good series I think but then I didn't know I saw them getting crushed like they're getting crushed their game was brutal. We'll take the guys get this so we figured let's take a look at Who's actually showing up who's choking and which stat lines are actually looking good. Let's get into it I mean, I don't know man. I have them up right here. What do you think in Jason Tatum for more than 25 points?

As I hate to say it, but I do think Jason Tate was gonna get more to 25 Yeah, but but it is Jason Taves won't get more than 25. But it is at 27 and a half now. For real? More or less than 27 and a half. Do I have old copy? I think you have it. Well, I have the updated picks on my phone.

Good call. Or Anthony Edwards for more than 2.5 three-pointers made. I would say yes to that. That doesn't seem like a lot. That's all they do is shoot three-pointers out. More for the Ant-Man. You say there's 2.5 three-pointers made I would say yes That's all they do is shoot three pointers or more for the Ant-Man I said 2.5 I'm saying more more for that, but here's the here's the here's the kicker Julius Randall for more than eight rebounds That's what I watch I keep track Box I'm giving a no on that. I don't think I think there's less less less less my bad less eight boards

Huh eight boards less than eight boards. You think so? I think so. I don't You know he's putting that ass on the other player. Oh, yeah. I don't think he's got the hustle in him that today All right, they're up in the series. I don't think he's got the hustle in them Maybe if what if that's a take that just that's your go fund me everyone's like fuck you Is there any particular players, teams, or matchups that you've enjoyed? Is anything surprised you, Nate? Let me ask you, did you have any predictions

for the rest of the playoffs? Let's get into that. Now I'm kind of thinking, I think the, I think the who's gonna win the finals is gonna be a Western Conference team. Honestly, I don't wanna say it, but I think my guess is the Nuggets. If I'm calling everything now,

I kind of quietly think the Nugs are gonna surprise everybody. The Denver Frosty Nugs are gonna win. Yeah, I think the Denver Frosty Nugs.ugs him that worked out perfect for them. Actually. I don't think about that frosty Nugs For Denver Nuggets. Oh, no way. Yeah, I think they'll win I think I Like the Naces Pacers are surprising everybody. I'm talking about thinking the Pacers. Yeah, I think they're gonna make it to the Eastern Conference Finals I think they'll get shut down in the Eastern Conference Finals, but I think the Pacers need to recruit Caitlin Clark to be their

Extra somebody will run through her. She'll turn the dust, bro You know you don't say be able to hold her own not for she would put up 50 Yeah, dude. What are you talking about? She's gonna have to use a regular size ball. I'm pretty sure the WNBA ball is smaller It is that's fair Well, everybody's entitled to their own opinion. Yeah, if you want to spew hatred on here, that's fine, dude We're trying to talk basketball We should let it happen once man, you have this just let's let's just pull a bandit Let's see what's up, dude. Just put her in recent watch them both get dominated true

CC then they can join forces reunite or or just attention like a five WNBA players versus the Wolfmen and the new summer block Maybe I don't know I don't know if we should do that guys. I don't know either, but those were the picks. That's our take guys. So now's your chance to win real money with your best takes. Whether it's points, rebounds, assists, take your pick of more or less on their stat projection for your shot to win up to 2,000 times your cash today. Prize picks is available in more than 30 states including California, Texas, and Georgia. You can submit your picks in 60 seconds or less. It's so easy. I'm doing it right now. No, I'm not or am I? Download the app today and use code drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup.

That's code drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game. Guys, oh this weekend I'll be at the Crest Theatre, Sacramento, California Please come to that that's on Friday and then on Saturday. I'll be in Seattle, Washington Neptune Theatre come to that I think they're they're close to sold out so Please come and also 625. That's June. I'll be at the improv in Hollywood, California And then I'm gonna be filming a special, like four days after that, where the hell is it, Ontario, California Improv.

So that'll be a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Please come to that. And Josh, you have something coming out as well, right? Yeah, check out 15 for 15. It's 15 of some of my favorite jokes that I've done the last 15 years doing standup, putting that out on May 15. It's 15 of some of my favorite jokes I've been doing the last 15 years, doing stand-up, putting that out on May 15th. Hell yeah.

Hell yeah. And just please come to Optum Noctus. We'll go have me, you know, me, LaMare, Gardini. It's always fun. We always have, I mean, Mass Drop in the Barclays. Show group. That's just been sick. Thank you to everybody who's come.

Please come again. Thank you. June 6th, Optum Noctus. Hit him with a thank you come again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Back to the show.ctis hit him with a thank you come again. Yeah Back to the show now. We're back to the show. What an organic well-placed Guys To the chat bring a call bring a caller in no no Sean that was that was good instincts, man

We had it we had a that's exactly what I said I said dude when we start tanking and conversation Bring the bros in and it was just like we have the bros here We got to tap him in I figured I'd go as long as we could on some current events and bullshit You know what I'll say right now though, dude. I've been making my own cold brew coffee It is so much easier than you think you just do you don't ride that too. Why didn't I use the Nespresso? I hit the pods using espresso dude if you just get coffee I didn't know is this easy you just get coffee beans grind them on course you don't want to get too fine. He's got a filter amounts like half the battle I just grind coffee put it in a big container of water overnight come back. I have a huge thing of iced coffee concentrate

Yeah, I've been making it. It's so fucking good. I got shit my remainder dude. It sounds tasty It's so good and it's so easy to do I've been trying to flying off this shit. Yeah, just crushing ice coffee cold brew and it's I don't know. I love it. It's easy to make you literally steep it in just a container for like 24 12 to 24 hours. Come back the next morning filtered out. I poured through like a mesh filter and then I do a coffee like paper filter. Is that about 200 milligrams after the whole sit?

It's after the dude. You have a thing that concentrate this big. It makes like 15 cups of coffee. That's, hell yeah. It's so easy to, it's like unbelievably easy. I thought I needed like an apparatus. It's just mixing them together and screening out the beans, done.

My guts can't handle cold brew. It dominates me. I take a little bit cold brew, I'm shit. But it's kind of a nice move if I'm like, I'm not shitting, get some cold brew. I'm shit. Yeah, it's kind of a nice move if I'm like I'm not shit It's some cold brew fix all my problems. I swear to God I I'm still not addicted to nicotine at all, but I will say these shits I like rely on it. Yeah, I feel like I have to dump I turbo I fucking pop one in turbo charge

Yeah, that happens to me too. I still don't feel like it's that addictive though. I For real don't feel like is that addictive you think is the gonna know Cig just going the pouch Yeah, it could be the pouches. It probably is because smoking you probably I don't know They say people are smoke have like an oral fixation. It's like a deeper thing The mayor bust one of these bros up man, who are you thinking about? Oh, he's smoking right now Let me bust one of these bros up man. Who are you thinking about? Oh, he's smoking right now What's up Ivan we need an orally fixated man to come up What's up look at bro in the blanket what's popping on the chat right now man

Yo, yo, I haven't you're smoking inside boys. What you doing man smoking in your house Yeah, I'm from Europe, it's normal here. What? Cool. Yeah. Just flexing, smoking cigs in the house? Where in Europe do you live? Austria. Austria bro. Oh. You know it? I've heard of it, yeah I've heard of that one. You guys are near Poland and Germany? You guys are near Poland and Germany? Yeah we kind of had that history thing going. Yeah good painting over there? Germany you guys are near Poland in Germany Yeah, good painting over there Yeah, what we got a great so we were talking Europe, and I you know I hopefully we didn't you know offend you We're talking about like European countries like who gives a fuck. What's your top country? You're like who gives it was like Austria is kind of rules like what's your I'm not just saying that cuz you're there

It's like you know I know all about it. It's kind of sick sick What's one of your countries there that you're like fuck this country sucks? dude, I mean Britain first of all, let's go agree Why bro, it's just pure fucking chaos. I mean, I haven't been to America. So I don't know what's up is the best It's awesome. Oh, it's pretty nice. I just can't take it. I can't take the I don't get it I just don't want to get political but Dude, you're smoking a cigarette in your house. You have to get You look like you're cooking right now, dude, what do you what's up with Europe? What's up with Britain man? What's the problem with that?

There's just weird with their like all clear all Authoritarianism, what are they doing to you guys? Or just in their own country you're saying? Oh that's just my opinion. So is Austria more free? Can you guys go to jail for like group texts and shit over there or like what's up? No, I mean they're trying to like get those like Trojans, like state Trojans on their phones.

Which is like a yearly debate. Like every year they try to like get that stuff in. What's the trojans on the phone? Are they like people literally listening to it? Just like the spyware type thing? Yeah, yeah, just basically like state spyware. That's crazy. And every year they're like,

hey, how about we do this to your phones? And we're like, no. How are they trying to sell it to you guys? Is it like the threat of terrorism or like what are they using to even justify that? I think it's kind of like how you guys do it with the bills. They just sneak it in Yeah, somebody catches it and they're like hold up So it just doesn't go through dang. That's fucked up Brit does Britain have that already

The people go to prison for praying on the street? In Britain? Yeah. What kind of prayers are they doing? Some eye wash? If they're on the street, yeah, it's probably... No, no, no, no. I mean Christians. Oh, shit.

Can't PTL on the street? It's fucked up. Damn. No, man. That sucks. That's insane. Yeah. It's crazy in Europe, actually. It's getting real like weird politically.

Like from the top down, the EU is getting way more involved and everybody has to have like a stance even though Austria is neutral like Switzerland. It's getting really weird. That sucks. What don't like it. What a bummer, bro. Yeah, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess. What are you gonna do? All right, well, happy Mother's Day.

That's sick, that's necessary. Sick, that's necessary. Fucking Blade Runner. Yeah. All right, take it easy. Thank you, bro. Easy, bro. Nice to talk to you.

Damn. Yeah. Chilling is fucking... Yeah, Europe does suck now, man. I don't know what the hell. Europe's on some absolute fucking bullshit. I've never been to Europe. I've never been there.

Well, I've been to Ireland once, but they're on some mega fucking bullshit. It always looks sick to me. I don't pay attention to politics, so I don't know what... It's probably sick. Yeah, it's probably a sick place to be. To visit, to not live. Yeah, I don't pay attention to politics, so I don't know. It's probably sick. Yeah, it's probably a sick place to be. To visit, to not live. Yeah, I don't know, man. And people who live there think it's sick and America stinks.

It's a lot of them for the most part, but we don't have that shit, dude. That shit's on it. We don't have Trojans on our phones. I think we probably definitely do. I think we've had them for decades. Isn't that what Snow Guy ran for? He was like, they're looking at all your shit. Looking at all your stuff, and then we fucking... Yeah, actually guy like ran for up for he was like they snowed. Oh, yeah Wasn't it like yeah looking at all your shit looking at all your stuff, and then we fucking yeah actually yeah All right, we locked that guy up in jail. We got one. Yeah, it was gotta have one guy one fucking guy in jail

He's out now. Yeah, he's what he was for like a debt. How long was he in jail for like a decade? No, he didn't go to jail is Russia I mean, bro. I wonder if he got any hoes. And he probably got some. Bro, holding up Christ. He really got nice hoes. Yeah, bring another bro in here.

Get another bro in here. Fucking Austria talk. No fucking shot. What? Why not, dude? No chance. What? What? You saw him rapping the Lord. Had to say what you saw you repping the Lord had to say

And then a rosary in the choir nice nice what Lamar let's look for people who want to chat I'm ready to chat. Oh, you're saying no. I thought you're saying like I was just like Good little touch bad my bad What's up man? I'm a little touchy, my bad You're good You don't want to fucking talk to me don't worry about it right? How you doing man where you living at? I'm from California it's gay out here so Yeah, true

Well at least you're not in Austria I got fucked up by a fucking mosquita Damn this shit's fucking me up cause it's mirrored I got fucked up by a mosquita Damn dude That's a big-ass skeeter But fuck yeah, I got fucking rape bro shit, so Where where what's your beef with Cali right now? Gun laws are fucking government sucks. Can't do shit government seems to suck all over the world

Unrest worldwide all over the world. Yeah, seems to be some political unrest worldwide. Yeah, there's some political unrest. Dang, are you SoCal or NorCal? I'm Central. CentralCal? Yeah, no one really knows about us. Yeah, what is CentCal?

What's even there? It's like, I would say Santa Maria, have you ever heard of them? No, is it like Silicon Valley Central kind of? No, that's North, that's north. So Cali, central California is just, the central part is the whole, it's just San Luis Obispo. It's just like- How far are you from like one of the big cities?

How far are you from one of the big cities, like in central? Cause aren't the two like north and south? I'm currently in between LA and SF's OK. How long is that dry? Like two, three hours. Or depending on traffic. So that's not bad. Is that what they call the Inland Empire? No, Inland Empire is just east of L.A.

OK. And that's like where the crack heads, the meth, all that shit is sick. The vatos sick The the lad the lads we got a lot of lads in the central. Uh, nice We love the lads all my friends are lads my homies lads I'm lonely honking the fucking shit. So what do you do? What do you do? The fucking shit, so what do you do? What do you do? I think yeah, oh you muted yourself bro. You mute yourself. Well. Thank you brother

Have fun out there anyone burning with a message for the world yeah, let's see what the people are saying Why don't we see what the people yeah, I guess I want their motherfucking hand raised, bro. He's been waiting. This guy's been waiting for a while. Oh, shit. What up, brother? What is up, bro? Is that red lights on your room on your ceiling? Yeah, it's my living room. Yeah. How did you get set up like that? Me and my fucking fiance.

I knew that was girl stuff. Standing on something. My girl just fucking made us do that. Like asked me because I got to see the TV to put the light behind it like that. And be in. Yeah. It's like that same shit. Girls love. They love the TV now. Who told me that?

That's kind of sick. I like that. Yeah, like way longer than you think. It took like an hour and a half. Is that an LED strip or you guys like uplining that whole situation? No, dude, we're poor. It's an led strip for sure That's fucking nice, man. It's cool. Yeah, I guess Thank you, though So what are you doing bro? What's your deal? Dude, i'm fucking i'm being a bum today. I called out at work and i'm fucking just sitting at home doing nothing

Yes, good for you, man. Yes, dude. You took today. You said look i've had enough of this shit. I'm taking sitting at work and I'm **** just sitting at home doing nothing. Good for you, man. Yes, you took today. You said, look, I've had enough of the **** I'm taking the day off. Yeah, my job's kind of **** I sit around and do nothing. So, I was like, you don't really need me there.

Nothing's going to change if I don't come in. So, I don't care. They're like, whatever. Take your day off. That's so sick. What are you doing your free time when you get freed from, you know, **** dude, me and my fiance are nerds. So like we just sit at home and fucking watch TV and play video games, to be honest.

And like smoke weed. That's about it. What you gaming on? It's kind of awesome. He's gaming on Baldur's Gate three right now. Russ, great. And a lot of Kingdom Come 2. That game's pretty. You haven't even been playing that. Yeah, that's what I'm playing right now. Kingdom Come is the shit I can. I could talk about that the whole time. I won't even been in there. Yeah, that's what I'm playing right now. Kingdom Come is the shit I could. I mean, I could talk about that the whole time. I will do it. Yeah, I won't nerd out.

But yes, absolutely. That's that's like a World War two game. Not like like like medieval. I think that you like super hyper realistic, like you have to forge your own weapons and like hammer out a sword. It's it seems like it would be dumb as hell, but it's fire. And now that you're not being you can you have to learn how to read. It's it seems like it would be dumb as hell, but it's fire damn No, that dude I'm game you had to learn how to read it was In bed winches, it's pretty nice

If I if I were to like I'm able to choose a form of like autism or like something that like put me in a different Realm, I'd go purely medieval. Let's just wear a suit of armor. Just get in that whole thing. Just Renaissance Share a hierarchies James from Love on the Spectrum. Yeah basically. I fucking You can be a jester bro or something cool. Yeah I love medieval times. Damns are you alone night wandering the. You're a blacksmith's son that's like working his way from the bottom to the top. Pirates of the Caribbean action. A little something like that. You start as like a peasant. In the first one you're a peasant

and then you work your way up to like being like you got, you're working with royalty. You're still not royalty or not a noble. I know what you mean. Yeah, but they fuck with you and then the second one starts off, a bunch of chaos ensues, they steal all your shit. So that's how they get you to start from ground one.

Like you and your whole crew get I mean, your I don't want your crew gets but fucked at the beginning of the game. Really? You only survive because you would be a horny with your bro. Like you and one of your bros sneak away to go look at ladies take baths. Whole squad gets murdered while they're doing that. What is exactly that? That's how the game opens. Yeah, that's some type shit I would do.

Where do these women take the baths? Just like Lake Bath. Oh, you were camping on the side of the road. Her. Yeah. I mean, I'd be scuba Steve. Yeah. Yeah, the snow go. I'm into that. That would be man.

I'd be awesome. Yeah, that game is sick Both of those games are sick. I'm saving my my gaming. I think when I retire I think I'll get way into So nice, what if the whatever your kids get in the game you think that could get you in like a big time? Yeah, I'd be gaming hard. You're approaching like Mario Kart age approaching like Mario Kart age. Yeah, I am. Mario Party, Family Party. That'd be nice. We have the dance game.

Oh hell yeah. It was like an old Xbox Kinect where like it, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty sick. Man, the best party family game used to be Rock Band. Hit a full Rock Band or Guitar Hero War. That was the one I fucked with was Guitar Hero War. Actually, that's a good call. I could get into some Mario Kart.

Five is old enough for Mario Kart. Yeah, sure. Yeah, but I can't not I'm gonna smash her One day don't figure it out. So that's what happens. The kids get nice quick. Yeah, that's true I got a lot of neuroplasticity going on Yeah, that would suck if she beats me I'll be I'll throw it out Fucking cheater I'm leaving you can catch in your dad controller smash would be Fucked up that'd be so bad to see

Dad I'd be pretty happy. I think I'm gonna be dad control my dad controller smash, I would be like, I am his son. True, yeah. My friend used to, the PlayStation, pull back when everything had the cord to the thing. If his little brother would beat him, he would pull the cord out of the PlayStation and whip him with the cord. Just, damn, he'd whip his ass.

He'd start whipping him, it was a pure spaz. That whipping on the totos. A pure spaz. That's a bad losing attitude. Bad losing attitude. Do you are you? Who's a better gamer in your guys relationship? If you and your wife go toe to toe. Oh, dude, me. Come on.

What do you think you're looking at? Come on. True. Imagine the shame, though. Losing. Yeah. Listen to a girl and Vigis. True. Imagine the shame though. Losing? Yeah. Losing to a girl in Vigis. Yeah. Do you ever? Most of the games me and my lady player cooperative and she's never carrying the most weight. So it's cool. I see. Cool on that now. She plays with you?

Yeah. She plays like the Baldur's Gate. We play Baldur's Gate when he was saying his lady plays. That shit was sick. Playing Borderlands 3, the old genre right now. Does it get like, when you're playing video games, if forgive me for asking, if this is like kind of personal, do you guys like, is it like a horny making thing or is that just like the porn stuff? Well, it can be a little bit of both. Hold on, here we go.

Baldur's Gate 3 is fucking horny as hell. What is it? Is it smut? It's like, I mean, you can literally fuck the other people in your group. can't but you can't but the thing That's a swinging on our people My girl is the respectful thing though. She only made her character fuck the ladies That's nice like that's a nice Did you get mad if she did the

Oh, did you get mad if she did the I always forget that girls are allowed to play video games. I know I think like I don't know I don't you mean when I hear gaming I'm always like interesting Yeah, I'm like what was your girl in the game before you or did you get her into it turned around? Um, like slightly her dad would play like Call of Duty blackout zombies. Oh, yeah So not really but definitely now that we're together a lot more That's what happened. I think that's nice Well, dude, thank you man, I'm glad you got the day off the game and just kind of Where's you in Bay in your bays at work? Yeah, bae went to work today.

Oh, sick. That's a great boss. How does she take it when you're like, I'm calling out today? I'm pretty good. I think I only call out like three or four times a year. So when I said it, she's like, really? She looks at me like puzzled.

So, she doesn't care. She'd be like, my dick hurts. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's awesome, man. Thanks. I fucking, I love it, dude. I think your place looks sick as hell yeah nice

I said ups. Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys letting me on dude This is badass talking to you. Can I ask you a question? She of course now you can always ask me how soon after your babe left for work. Did you? Fap it up See I don't know like an hour and a half Fap it up Three minutes I hear the deadbolt click running to the front window like a dog watching the car walk And it's a full volume fab sex

Just straight blast straight blasts straight blast I'm getting the acoustics. Oh You're a man of honor clearly you've been playing your fucking game. Yeah, absolutely well, dude. Thank you, man Nice to talk to you always guys. Thank you. See you later. Here we go. Here we go. Pick it up steam on the stream The bros always break some good shit Not know nothing against the Austrian, but damn that was a fucking move that was a fucking mood shift Following a shitty fucking first 20 minutes with a shitty ad into I Mean add from the user experience But the

Okay, LaMare fucking horndog Fine LaMare, let's actually's actually see what she's up to. It's gonna be that guy's girlfriend. True. I'm at work. I know my boyfriend's beating me. Oh shit. She's in a hotel room just catching Baldur's Gate pipes. She's great, bro.

So you can fuck in this game? Yeah. They got whole fuckscenes. He's fucking my call game. Hello. Oh, you. What's up? Be cool guys. Act natural. Hey, what's going on? What's happening? Nothing. Just chillin. Always in the zoom chat. I work out in. Yeah, I've been trying to be. You guys are friggin awesome.

Thank you. Where are you off to? Um, I am doing route for my lab. I make ventures. What? Oh shit. Ventures. You dropping off biohazards and stuff No dentures just like molds molds and I thought you said lab are you what are you taking? So you what do you so what are you doing exactly? dropping teeth off It's ruining old men

Somebody called in with that tooth that fell out of their upper denture. Oh, you're going to go pick some up? So I had to pick it up and well I already did, now I'm dropping it off. You just have a tooth? Yeah, here hold on. Let me see the guy have that. Give an old man's fake tooth? I got an old man's full upper denture.

Damn! Pop it in! I got an old man's fake tooth. I got an old man's full upper denture. Damn. Pop it in. No. Damn. No. Damn. My grandpa used to have those and he'd pop them out and scare us when we were little.

Oh, it's terrible. My dad has one now. It fell out his mouth or into my nephew's head when my nephew was like five. He started to squeak his way nuts. fell out his mouth or the my nephew's head. Well, I thought he was like, he started we get a lot of them where the dogs get a hold of them. Really? Yeah. Yeah, they love the smell of nasty mouth.

Yeah, true. It's got food residue. Dogs are freaky. Dogs are freaky. Lick ass and eat your fucking dentures. Hey, well, dude dude good luck on your quest That's actually kind of six you just roll up and then the guy What is that like rolling up on the house? It's just a guy like You're like, you know, I don't go to a house We are

Oh really? But he pulls up to the Walmart parking lot. He's like, all right, here's my fuck So they go to the dentist you go to the dentist and what are you gonna do? Like how do you do that? They're falling out. What's what's the move you like you refit them or like what do you do? No, we we make a matrix out of putty and we just kind of put it back in place and it's just acrylic But how do you how you gonna keep him from falling out of this guy's fucking mouth again? We put a hole into the back of the tooth and the acrylic flows into it so it holds

it pretty good. Oh just as tooth fell out. Right right right. As tooth fell out. That makes sense. That's double devastating. Even your fake teeth can't stay on you. God. How much does a set of fake teeth cost? What do they go for? I heard they're kind of expensive. Oh they're expensive as hell um probably like a range between like 1500 okay for the for a whole set how many teeth are in the human head can you ask me can you answer me that oh dude you're gonna really do not make me do that uh 32 how many teeth are there no idea no there's more than that It's all good my mom run the business together

God that's sick fucking the expert is she is she an orthodontist or purely like a teeth salesman sales lady Just she's she's just been in a bit venture business for about like 28 years. That's sick. Yeah, she never went to school for any of it. She just learned it, learned it. Now she's trying to teach me and I'm a pothead that doesn't know how to learn. So I'm saying my bad. Well dude, thank you for calling in. That's very sick.

Hopefully that guy gets his fucking teeth back. Yeah. His smile. Does he have a backup set or is he just at home just fucking like, urgh. Just gummin'. Well, this only took like about an hour so he's probably just chilling somewhere waiting to eat.

He's probably just sucking somebody up. Did you ever like, oh she only gets to see the old people, you're just straight, you're B2B sales right through the dentist. Yeah, we're technically, we're not allowed to work with the public because it's technically illegal. So we have to go through like a referral with the dentist. That's some dentistry bullshit, bro That's them. Those guys are the greatest in it. I really don't like dentists. They're basically car mechanics to me Yeah, those guys man they really do and then with the fucking orthodontist they're thick as thieves

Yeah, go to the dentist. You need braces. He told my dad my dad needed braces my dad freaked out. He called me a nerd 55 years old what the fuck do I want braces for? My dad thought that was gay yeah Yeah, that is a why I think I say you know five-year-old. It's crazy. I got six kids That's crazy. I got six kids Thank you, man. Good luck in the teeth sales. I like that man. Yeah So long, thank you guys for taking me. Yeah, you roll You too roll have a nice day. Please get one of these motherfucking bros now. We're ripping Why do we even try to what you did the same thing last time we tried to do a podcast. Yeah, it's impossible

I'm staring at the bros. I'm like they're not laughing fuck. Yes Face your best effort is going somebody much There's a guy playing oblivion do you want to talk to the guy who's having fertility issues? Yes, please yes Yes, please yes, that's a little mayor pose Now we can say whatever the hell we Hold what that's why you gotta hold it brother. Oh, hold the question? Yeah. I gotta hold the question, I gotta wait you mean. Yeah, that's just me. We can chop it up for a little.

Where are you from man? I'm noticing an accent. Yeah man, this is Europe. I mean, I love you bro, but the whole sort of getting it down, dark room, smoking indoors isn't the vibe in Europe. We got suddenly, we got bare feet on the fucking... This is fine. Girl's about to come home,

she's gonna cook dinner. This life is great in Europe, boys. Where in Europe are you? Netherlands, man, Rotterdam. The other big city in like near Amsterdam. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Yeah, I wanted to chop it up. What's the lady go make for dinner?

You got her in there going work on could be anything honestly I don't I don't said I was gonna have some weird fish. He's from Rotterdam. Where is he from? Rotterdam in the Netherlands, bro. It's some good European sunny vibes up in here. Yeah, Lamar is bringing his fucking hatred. Exactly. I get the go fund me money. I get it. Yeah. He was saying it. Yeah. Yeah.

I wanted to ask a question. So today I've been, um, my girlfriend and I, we've been trying to get kids, uh, hasn't been the easiest. So we've been doing IVF. I don't know if any of you are familiar. Um, yeah. So the thing now is that, this is Europe so socialized healthcare So you just get a doctor assigned to you basically and you go through the whole thing

But I gotta be honest my girls aging a bit. So we got to go private now, but a Yeah, pay a lot of money for it to get it done, bro What is it like to be a dad and what it like? How do I deal with the fear of maybe not becoming a dad but still like marrying the girl like the love of my life Like how do you how do you balance those things? It's a serious question, but I just wanted to ask it You're asking if it's worth the money to have a kid Bro is it is it worth the money? Yeah, I'd say but then you gonna she isn't home yet Yeah Yeah, I'd say but then you gonna she isn't home yet Yeah, I mean

You might be asking how much they want It's not that much actually we're thinking of going to Spain. It's like Probably it's like probably like 7 a K ish But that's like one treatment and you can have up to three treatments. So easy. Like Andrew Schultz talked about it in his special. It was like, it was, it was 30k for him, which is probably what it'll cost in the end. So yeah, in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, I could see that. So what is, uh, what's the process? My question is, well, the process is like, what they do is they basically, it's kind of, it kind of sucks anyway, they pump your babe

full of hormones so they get like uber pregnant or like they get like uber ready for pregnancy. Tight. I might do step one. Bro, so they basically and then they go in with like, I mean I don't want to get too descriptive because there might be some kids in there, I don't know. But like the- Not yet. Not yet. It has to happen. But what they do is they basically they then suck out the eggs and then they then I have to like go into a room. And I mean, you don't want to look at porn, but you sort of do because you've got to wag one out.

And then basically you they put one and two together and then you get a kid out of it Okay Yeah, and then they put that back basically that's so that's the whole thing So they so they make a bunch of embryos bunch of kids and then they put them back one one by one usually How long have you guys been trying for? Bro, we've had four miscarriages man we've had four miscarriages, man. Oh, right. Right. Right. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, that's yeah. Actually, we had our last one Saturday. That's the so that's the reason we're now like I've been

phoning clinics all day. But like since they're based abroad, like for me, they're abroad. So it's like it's like phoning a bunch of Spanish ladies. Not all of them can talk English. So it's been it's been difficult. We don't get taught. Yeah, exactly. I thought so. We don't get taught Spanish in school. So it's terrible. It's very funny that he's had a horrible thing happen to him four days ago and he's still in so much better spirits than the other Europeans. That's what I mean. Look, this is me happy, bro. Look at this. How the fuck can I not be happy, bro? How the fuck can I not be happy?

So to answer your question, your original question, yeah man, if you guys are trying already, and I'm guessing Pey wants a kid, obviously, you kinda have to go through it. You know what I mean? I would say. You gotta spend all the money, right? Yeah, you gotta, man. I would do it.

Because it's like, it'll be sick. Once you have a kid, it'll be awesome. And you can't like... If you try and then just say like, eh, you know, fuck it, let's just not do this. It's gonna be... She'll probably be very sad. So. That too. But like, do... Like, is it...

Like, is fatherhood worth it? Is my last question about this. Is it worth it? Or is it overhyped? No, I mean, that'd be sad if I this is it worth it? It's overhyped No, yeah, that'd be sad if I was like yes fucking overhides It's sick. It's all could be could be I think it depends on the person There's definitely dads that are like this is way overhyped. I'm going to leave this kid So yeah, no that My childhood sucked so I want to have a good childhood for this kid

So I'll make sure that but like the the whole process like the pain like the hormones everything Like I was wondering if it was overhyped could be that you you could be honest and say well this kind of sucks But I mean it's frustrating is very difficult. It's like an all-encompassing Time-suck, but I think it's awesome. I just to give you like last night. I was sitting there I was putting my kids to bed Like you know three and five and we do a thing every night We lay on the floor It's called can't we camp first before they get into bed because I got to like if I put them right into bed They're like I don't wanna go to sleep so like let's camp we lay on the floor. I make up stories

I had a and even now to with making up stories you can use chat GBT Which again some people are like don't fucking use that because yesterday. I was sitting there bro You can use chat GBT which again some people are like don't fucking use that because yesterday. I was sitting there bro No, dude. I'm telling you. You gotta use your fantasy. You have a fantasy. I do I Tell them stories from the dome all the time But last night my it was actually yesterday during the day my my five-year-old was like dad what a goblin fart smell like I was like I don't know probably pretty bad, and she's always like ask your phone like ask your phone What like what what color does it make if you mix fucking? Green and purple and you know all these questions. I asked Google like what color does that make and then yesterday I was like I wasn't getting a question

I asked Chappie GBT like what what does it smell like when how bad are goblin farts and it was like Gave me a very in-depth answer is like would you like a story about a goblin farting and it gave me the sickest story About like a goblin army. There's humans on the edge being like, my word, what is this? Yeah, it was just fun. What did they smell like? What did they smell like? Oh, it was like a highly sulfurous smell mixed with like the flesh of nude. It was, it was pretty in depth.

But then so either way, so like that was just a sidebar. But then, so we're laying there, we're doing camping at nighttime. I'm there with my kids and like, I'm like putting them both to bed. We're laying there I'm I was just telling them stories off the cuff I had to do a story about fairies for Maya and then I do a story about mermaids for Chloe and they need to be Putting the story if you tell them a story and they're like, yeah, but where are we in this? It's like alright fucking you guys are there too. You're And and then so like my oldest falls asleep

I finished the mermaid story and I like just kind of like pet my I was like Alright, you gotta get into bed I put the three-year-old into bed and she just reached back and just kissed my arm and I was just like oh I just melted There's a little I will say a little kid like right before they go to bed Just like giving you a little sweet peck on the arm after you hit the mermaid tail. It was so sweet I'm still spinning off. It's like the best honestly, probably the best feeling in the world But bro and that and that's the thing I'm looking for like like shout out the mayor

But she's probably gonna make some weird fish but I think I like truth be told like I don't I Think she would be the greatest mom ever like so the all everything everything is perfect But it's just the the process of getting a kid Like if it would it would be as simple as it normally is It would be great anyway, but yeah I mean that's the story that you told me that that's just that's the thing that that's worth the million That's that's worth more than 30 grand

That's worth a million if you can pay it if you can swing it do it You know what I mean if you I understand if you're like bro I literally can't swing that totally fair, but if you can swing it yeah because otherwise the cool thing about once you have kids you're like holy fuck like You have so much free time before you have kids, but you can't appreciate it You're just like sitting around like I'm kind of bored. What should I do today? That's not at least that's how I will that's how I was and then you have kids and you have like fucking no free time anymore Right when you get those little slivers of free time. It's like it's truly amazing and you it's something to like I

Don't know. It's like something to really pour your time and energy into which otherwise will just get sucked into like funding fucking hatred go fund me's and So I would say it's one of the best things in the world It gives your life a lot of meaning if you do it properly or you can get into like negative parenting mode Which is like this sucks. Oh, and you can do that whole trip, but right it fucking rules. I think it's awesome. It's very hard Josh What do you think Josh has fucking three kids? It's great, but it is a little bit like torture like Yeah, it's tedious

Loving torture no, it's torture. Yeah, just regular, what's it called? Where they just drop the one. The drip, yeah, Chinese drip thing man. Chinese water torture. Chinese water torture. Death by a thousand paper cuts is what you mean. It's like by a, it is torturous in the aspect of like you're in bed, it's 8.15, usually fall asleep by 8.15, 8.30, one of them's got a nap that was a little long so now you're like this motherfucker might stay up till 9 o'clock, and you just you're like every day You're like they go to bed. It is a sweet feeling you're like Fucking finally they're sleeping and you have this little bit of free time

But when they eat into that free time by not going to bed every minute of that is genuinely torture Just being like come on But I just lay on the floor I lay on the floor in the room And I just slowly I'm like come on you got to go to bed and then like I just use that as time to kind of Like meditate I just kind of lay there quietly and just chill and then because otherwise every time they're like can I have some water? You're like Well, I got I've two cats I've two cats I sort of know what that feeling is like the only problem is they don't talk Back and they scratch really hard. I hope kids don't do that, but we'll find out. I hope

I don't want to take any more of your time because there's probably other bros that want to that's a great question I would say definitely do it and like yeah, don't and the whole process of it It's like you just got to get them in there It doesn't matter how you do it get them in there exactly and just fucking some some laboratory shit Shove the money over to the Spanish people. Send it to the Spanish brujas. Honestly, honestly, I would almost, I was about to shout out the fertility clinic because some of the doctors they have are way too fine and I haven't told my

bisexual girlfriend yet because the headshots are way too great but whatever. I'll leave it at that. I'll leave it at that. Yeah, instead of the porn, just get one of these doctors in here to fucking JOI me. I'm not doing that. No, no, that's too much. That's too much. Yeah, that might be too much. You have, I mean you'll be at, you can hold them at dong point and be like, no jizz.

You guys are in my business. I need the science to work effectively. I do need the science to work effectively. I don't know if I'm gonna do it that way though Well best of luck friend. Yeah, that's a lot dude, bro. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good one. Bye. Bye Hello everybody. This is the end of the regular episode Join us on patreon if you want to hear the rest of the Zoom Jam. Have a great rest of your week. Goodbye.