Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

Episode Date: May 22, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Buy Merch @ https://www.mssecretpodcast.com/merch/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live Good morning everybody. Hope you're all having a good week. Big Shang's back from his trip. Matt's back from Ball-Sacramento. The D.A.W.G.Z. are reunited. Praise be. Please enjoy. God Bless. Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow Wow Wes Hello, how are you? Hello everybody? So these people were causing you some guff trying not to cry, bro I got literally Gardini witnessed it from the start of the weekend and the shows are fun I was in ball Sacramento and LGBT at all I was in ball Sacramento and LGBT at all and uh Sacramento and LGBT at all and Do good ones they were great shows phenomenal, but from the dude from the get-go we get to the Austin Airport We're early. I say it was be a nice treat I'll take Sean and Egan brought the eganism with me

I was like we'll take Sean and Egan up to the American Airlines a little club lounge treat them for two free guest passes Yeah, what a great way to start the day I Go in early. I'm you know I was there I'm just kind of writing on my laptop Sean text me is like you know text me like hey, we're outside It's fucking mumble through text there. They're just kind of like milling around by that front desk And I'll be honest. I was like tightening a paragraph so it was they were there for like Maybe like four how long we were there for like, maybe like, how long were you guys there for, like a minute? Yeah, they were there for a second. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I was just locked in.

Sorry about that. dopamine stack locked in. So I go out to let them in, I'm like, hey, these guys with me, I believe I have two free guest passes and the lady goes, yeah, if you're a member at this lounge. And I go, okay, no big deal. I go but I am and I you know, I coming out of it, I scanned in, she didn't scan in with me.

I'm like, and then the lady I scanned in with comes up and goes, who'd you scan in with? And I was like, whoever was sitting where you are, I think you Yeah, she's like, I don't remember that. And I'm like, what do you guys think I'm lying? Like, I can assure you, I didn't sneak in here. We didn't say that. I'm like, you kind of did. And I was like, anyway, here's my thing,

but I definitely know. I was like, I even, I beeped in and you went, do you need help with anything else? So I think it was you. Yeah. She's like, I'm just saying, and it was like, okay. She's like, you're not in here. So the only thing I could think of is that I had

Gardenis and my boarding pass on my phone. Maybe I beeped Gardenis, but that's her. If I beeped the wrong one, that's on her. So I'm like, look, whatever, we go into the lounge and I'm like, ah, just wasn't sitting right with me. And I was like, lady, I wasn't trying to be a dick, but you do realize you kind of accused me of lying to my face in front of my friends.

You disrespected me in front of my friends. You disrespected me in front of my friends. In front of the openers. That's something I cannot have. You undermined me in front of my friends. You disrespect me in front of my friends. You disrespect me in front of my friends. In front of the openers. That's something I cannot have. You undermined me in front of my openers. I'm gonna set an example for the openers. Next thing I know, they'll be doing an extra five, they'll be doing 30.

Oh, they'll run the light. Gardini? Gardini will run the light. They'll be walking all over my fucking bits and tags. Yeah. I saw that joke you did last night. I'm gonna do the same joke. I have a joke that's just like that, it reminded me,. I'm gonna do the same joke. I have a joke that's just like that.

It reminded me, so I'm gonna open with that tomorrow. I love when, not to go off track, but that is the best. When an opener hears you do a joke, and then the next show, you hear them do a different joke, you go, that's fucking, it's the same topic. They didn't do that in the first show. So I go, yeah, your joke reminded me of my joke about that same topic, and I wanted to go before you.

You go, all right. Perfect. You've had some disrespect as well. I've had this exact experience. Remember I sat down at a cheesecake factory, and they were like, where did you get this seat? Who are you? I was like, I don't know, I didn't just pick this.

Somebody fucking walked me in. The hostess was like like I've never seen this person in my life why did you just lie same thing dude that was I was hot I had to go back up to the lady and be like dude that was that was kind of weird you did that yeah I'm not like you know I just want to let you know that was crazy I'm not asking for like you know preferential treatment in here, but I'm like don't do that That was nuts, and I was like and you scanned me in she's like. I don't remember that. It's like that's not my fucking problem So then we had a Was this a white woman? Yeah, I was gonna say yeah, man. It was a wall

Yeah, if you were confronting a black woman like this, I would have been... Bro? I would have said hats off. I've been trained to the trenches. I know that. I pull no punches. I know you're out the mud. I pull no punches.

I did that one time back in Philly in an old apartment and a lady spazzed on me. She spazzed on me and I was just fucking the last samurai. I was the one, dude. I was just kind of like, you have no idea, lady. Yeah. I'm completely... Your tricks don't work on me. Dude, I can absorb a black spaz like none other dude. I was just sitting there like the only black spaz I really ever absorbed was in our old apartment when

That lady came back with her fucking big dog to kick us out The realtor that I had worked for that late. Matt worked with his realtor and they came back to evict us. I didn't give a fuck. I had zero dollars and we were getting evicted from West Philly. I was just sitting at the top of the steps and they were downstairs. They were like, you need to get out right now. And I was like, oh do I?

I was a fucking gargoyle on the steps. You're not supposed to be in here. You're not supposed to have a giant hole in our basement floor. I was like, I was a fucking gargoyle on the steps. You're not supposed to be in here. It's like, we're not supposed to have a giant hole in our basement floor. Yeah, well I'm in here, so what's happening? That was the best when our dishwasher was moldy and I was like, yo, we have mold in our dishwasher.

Yeah, like, no. She came in and she was like, I think we might have different definitions of moldy. I was like, there's mold on the dishwasher. You're spraying bleach on it. What are you talking? Fucking talking about Yeah, man hook us up with the fridge. Yeah, long. Yeah lump had lump connected the fridge. That was nice

Yeah, that was pretty sick But yeah, then so then I get on the plane and I've been doing a thing on the plane We're like I get on and they're seating the whole plane So I bust my tray out, you know, again just getting some writing done just working and then I think this might have been on the second flight But this guy Just is like, you know big gay guy from the sky kingdom of gay guys in the air and He just like is it the Stuart's Stuart? Yeah Stuart Oh the Stuart Stuart Stuart Stuart

The steward steward steward steward the judge is a big big it's kind of a big dog The fix gay steward yes, and he do really I'm like completely absorbed. I'm into that Somehow it got hotter Dude he goes we're waiting on you I'm like what I snap out of working I'm like I don't shit my bad dude, and I like shut my laptop, and I was just kind of like the fuck is going on today Why's everyone shitting on me and then we land we get to ball Sacramento we land and dude We're outside the hotel and this actually made me laugh, but a lady comes up a homeless lady walks by and goes Moving and lose it. I was like what the fuck and then she did start laughing

She was kind of like she was in on it. She could feel it. Yeah, she turned around and flashed just such a sweet smile. That's funny. And I was like, dang, that was kinda funny. And then there was an older lady in like a mobility chair and I was telling Sean, I was like,

I might hit her with the movie to lose it. Where was I? You should've. That's the only way to break the curse. You gotta give it to somebody else. But everyone's disrespecting you. You have to disrespect somebody else. It was, in a 24-hour period, I've never sustained just not, it was non-stop disrespect.

I can't think if there was anything, I don't know if there's anything else. Podcasts are great because they help us make the most out of our routine. We learn about the fall of the Ottoman Empire while we drive, keep up with news while we take the dog for a walk, or turn folding laundry into a comedy show. Make the most out of your time with the PC Insider's World's Elite MasterCard. A credit card that can get you unlimited free grocery delivery and the most PC optimum points on everyday purchases. The PC Insider's World's Elite MasterCard.

The card for living unlimited. Conditions apply to all benefits. Visit PCFinancial.ca for details. I caught some strays on my flight home this weekend. Did you? Yeah, just some fucking drunk guy sitting next to me, or across the aisle, and he was like, I could tell you're somebody,

because I saw your lady friend that you're with, and then I saw you, and I was like, what? And I was like, oh, cool, man. Like, what the fuck was that for? Why would you say that to me? Yeah, I get hit with that all the time. Last night we were out a guy was like my friend looks retarded too. I was like yeah cool man thanks man can I have pictures? Yeah for sure. Do you look retarded in the pictures? I don't have a choice. I'm gonna. Let's get the picture picture That's the funniest request ever I get it every day That's when people are like let's do middle fingers in the picture

I'm like can we not man? I know middle fingers Yeah You got disrespected at Cabo Bob's? Yeah I told Matt about this And I told everybody besides you about this What the fuck are you telling everyone else for? Not me I haven't besides you about this, but I was the fuck are you telling everyone else for it? Not me.

I haven't seen you in a week. I miss you. I didn't mean to disrespect you. I'm sorry, but it's fine. I'm a disrespect. It's me and all the big guys. So it was me, Lamar, Andy, Pat and our friend Jake Ricker. So it's about, it's about 1500 pounds of man with me at the Cabalpops. You guys can't get in an elevator No, absolutely that Final destination. Yeah nine people

It was five it's some guy commented about how he was like, why are all you big guys hanging out with this little guy? It's just kind of weird to see guy it's just kind of weird to see. That's funny. He's like you guys are all so big and he's so little. Who said this to you? A random guy at the Cabo Bob. Just didn't even work there? No, no he was just going to pick up his lunch and he commented on all of our sites. He saw you guys and he probably thought it was some type of weird sexual. He's like there's their little humper. Yeah that's how I was joking about that. I was joking. He's like, there's their little humper. Yeah, I was joking about that. I was joking about how I had a fat drawn carriage that took me around. You do chill deep with the fats. I know.

I never realized until that moment that it probably is a weird sight to see me hanging out with only people that are about four times bigger. You have a plus size squad. Really do. Yeah, it was great. That was pretty much it. The weekend was sick, otherwise. The weekend was great. It was just nonstop mounting disrespect.

Just one after the other. Not the last lady. The last lady had, it was an older lady with braces. Very sweet. But yeah, all the stewards were just... That's hot. Yeah, I know. Was she hot? In her own way, yeah. Yeah, I would say. She was kind of a, she was a darling. Very nice too. I even, I was so just, just so beaten down from the weekend.

I'm like doing my work before I was the plane loads. And I looked up at her one point and I was like, just let me know when you want me to close this. I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do. You're fine, sweetie. Oh, thank you, babe. Babes with braces, they must be humble. True.

Lest they get hit with a fucking, shut up, brace face. They have to be humble at all times. True. Nice braces, you 50 year old fuck. Wow wow. Getting sexy for your fourth husband? Nice. Now that's something we would say if we were being mean. If I got attacked in court.

If I got attacked by a brace face lady. Yeah. I don't know who you're talking to with those fucking braces in your mouth. She go, Jesus Christ, can you turn the other way? Sun's bouncing off those things, blinding me. Put on your rubber bands and shut the hell up. Adult braces are fucking sick. I love them.

I mean, to be rocking braces instead of Invisaligns at this point. It's awesome. Fuck yeah. It's kind of a power move, honestly. I know, Terrell Davis had braces. Did he really? Yeah, he was the man.

Running back for the Broncos, you remember him? He's tossing the, yeah dude. He had fucking braces. Game day 98, that was my go-to. Yeah, he was nasty. He was awesome. Adult braces, they should come back. My friend's dad got braces and it was fucking hilarious.

That's wild. I told you about my dad, they tried to get him to get braces and he was just like, hell to the null. Yeah, you can't wear braces at a construction site. Good lord. He couldn't even drive and not drive a pickup truck. If he took, he had a little Ford Fiesta. That's been passed down to Billy.

Oh yeah. Billy was talking to me yesterday about a nine million dollar truck he wants to buy. It's his absolute Achilles heel. He yearns for like Dora max at the most gigantic trucks imaginable It's a big trucks. It's like a little fucking boy. He is he loves a big truck. He loves big big boy toys He did have a nice answer. I was like dude. Why do you keep buying only? Why do you want a huge expensive truck? He's like I just like them and they're my favorite things

He's like the one thing I like in this dire world. I want a big truck. I go, all right, man. He does love big trucks. Big trucks. He was, I had read it, what the hell, I had some sort of a Wagoneer, I think, when I was in Philly.

Hopped in, he goes, dang, he's like looking around, this is a Wagoneer, so nice. Dude, the Escalade's probably like 160, it's crazy. I'm like, stop giving me truck pressure. New Escalades are sick, though. Are they? Yeah the wagon, they're so nice, dude, the Escalade's probably like 160, it's crazy, I'm like, stop giving me truck pressure. New Escalades are sick though. Are they? Yeah. Yeah, they're on his radar, he's like, they're fucking 160, they're crazy, dude.

Oh my dude. That's the least practical truck for where, vehicle for where he lives too. I told him, get a little beater, bro, get the bucket. Get in the bucket. That's all he needs is a little bucket. I'm surprised you're whipping that accord. You're a millionaire, Sean.

I don't know. Should I get? You're the richest guy ever. Oh, I'm dying. It's so crazy. It would be cool to roll around in an Escalade. It would look ridiculous. Especially if you pulled up in the Escalade

and five fat guys got up as a big boy toy. The will be a five fat fat mobile Five fat stumbling out everyone's arguing you gotta set up a trust for your fats What do you mean you gotta set up a trust? What are you gonna do when you're gone? I don't know they are suckling off you all your ad revenue Like the court it's nice that is a nice car the accord is nice. Gets me where I got to go. I'm a bit of a splurge I'm more of a civic man myself. Yeah you could have got a civic you don't need all that space. But I get it once those checks start rolling in. Just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just

like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like just like I love telling the group chat how rich you are. All the New York, we're in a group chat with the most evil New York comics. Yeah. Vampires, but they are vampires.

They fucking, they're like Austin comedy sucks. I just screenshotted the seller lineup yesterday. I was like New York's sick. It's this fucking garbage lineup. The purists. They're such purists, dude. The purists. They're such purists dude. The purists. Oh man we might be getting some Chantilly lace coming up. What's that? That would be so awesome. One of the ultimate vampires is Lev. Guys, this episode is brought to you by PrizePix. The basketball playoffs have

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So yeah, I'm like, what the heck? Yeah. Who else do you like? I think the OKC Thunder. Yeah, that's, I'm like like what the heck yeah, who else do you like? I Think the okc Thunder. Yeah, that's a good. Yep. I think I've been here I've been here in there, you know they could they could win it all Shane Gillis Alexander going against the Ant-Man Are there any particular teams or fixtures that you've enjoyed you know I mean yeah, I think about the Knicks a lot I think Nick's that upset with the Knicks are fun. Yeah, that's a good team. Knicks Pacers is a classic series. It's, dude, it's just, I've been like, what the heck?

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Now imagine it times 2,000. Dang, that would be nice. Yeah, that would change things. You'd be able to get a bunker. This is what I'm thinking. Sample picks. I'm going to go Caitlin Reese. Less points.

Or Angel Reese. Less points. More rebounds. More rebounds though. She does Reese. Less points. More rebounds though. She does get bored, dude. Yeah, that's what I think. There you go. All right, you heard our picks.

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It's so easy, I'm doing it right now. No, I'm not, or am I? That's what they wrote. I didn't think that was funny. Uh, I don't want you guys who listen to this podcast looking for comedy to think that that's the type of shit I'm fishing out. All right.

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Oklahoma City. August 8th I'll be in Louisville. But yeah Oklahoma City and Louisville are the are the ones I'd really like you to buy tickets to. I thought the OKC Thunder fans would be fucking excited to let loose for a comedy once they're done with all these playoff games. You know, they're very stressful. Now it's time to let loose with a comedy show there. Totally agree. How about you, Sean? Do you have anything cool coming up, bud?

Yep, I just have- Get in front of the camera. Yeah, true. You're a millionaire now. I'm not a millionaire. I'm not a millionaire, but I do have a show at cap city comedy club I have two shows May 30th and 31st at cap city comedy club Sean Gardini and friends in

Austin, Texas Please come to those if you can the link is below and also optimum noctis on June the link is below I don't think I ever told you you could post your links You've been on my? The link is on my page. On my own personal page, if you'd like to come to the show. No, the link's below, the link's below. The link is below. Thank you guys.

Yeah, hell yeah, bud. Also, Ontario, California, huge weekend. June 26th to the 28th, I will be taping my special at the Ontario Improv. Oh boy. Coming up, so please come to that, it'll be a lot of fun. It's gonna be Thursday through Saturday. So, it's live taping. and I've seen the new hour, and it's very good. Thank you. Yes. It's your best hour yet I'm excited to see thank you. I'm excited to get over with and live panties in the mouth June 20th May 25 where where at?

Speak easy that speak easy here in Austin. Yep here in Austin, Texas I've paid his in the mouth panties in the mouth. Are you guys gonna a baby the year award or what's going on here it's just month still just the month we do baby the month now it's usually baby the week all the winners okay and then you have a tournament in front of a live audience and they put a cookie on the floor horny pieces of shit if you want to go to the speakeasy and meet with the horniest guy there's a horny guy meetup at the speakeasy Just pray the disrespect stops. I was like I was sitting there the other day I was kind of high and I was just thinking about all the evil against me

It's not a lot but there is there's like if you really zoom out and like there probably isn't any given time There's people spewing evil just about your name and likeness. All the time. It hit me how the overwhelming scale and it was just kind of like, I just had to make peace with it. I was like, I wish them all well. Anyone who wishes evil against me,

mostly airline attendants, I wish them well. I had to just, I was like, I wish them well, even though they're speaking evil on my name. I thought about the evil being spewed yesterday when I left the green room at the mothership What happens like as soon as I leave this room I guarantee yeah evil fucks up there fucking pieces

Just five minutes of people making faces at each other like Not even talking Fucking yeah great Be sick to bug that thing. It probably is bugged. It probably is. I think the CIA is on Joe Rogan's ass, dude. I was talking to him, I was talking to him, it was funny.

Last night I was like, we should go to that Oasis concert in Mexico City. And he was like, yeah,, I can go get kidnapped good call We didn't get to talk about the Mexican Navy what happened Was that an incursion yeah, they tried to attack you they got stopped by our first line of defense our bridge There like a belly room underneath it of just 50,000 weed whacker motors They were standing on the mass. There were dudes everywhere. They had someone in the crow's nest? The whole gang.

I don't think there was one person piloting the ship. Everyone was standing on the mast. They were like holding hands on the mast. The first time I saw it, I was like, I don't think they know how to ride a boat. They're standing on the wrong part. They shouldn't be up there. What were they?

Were they coming into like, they're like pirates. Their boot't be up there. What were they? Were they coming into like they're like pirates? They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're Mateys Yeah, they're fucking stunting on us what the fuck show of force they said you guys want to talk shit on Mexico check this Shit out. We got fucking cannons Fit the plunder they were trying to to plunder. They fucking ran up on fucking ground. You're just in your house and your wife, you're like, get back, I gotta protect my gerb. I'm going for my gerbs. They did come for the gerbs, but then they're hitting the fucking birds.

The Brooklyn birds. Was that the Golden Dome Trump was talking about, the Brooklyn bridge? The Brooklyn bridge, yeah, that's our new Iron Dome. The Golden Dome is so funny. I didn't know he was calling it the Golden Dome He's calling it the Golden Dome. He's not a name dude. He's exactly right. Oh Yeah, that's all we need right now we need domes. The Mexicans standing on the mass It's crazy. That's insane. Where were they going? Where did they think? I think I heard they were headed to Iceland. For real. They're like, all right, this ship's headed

to Iceland next. What? They fucking got hit by a fucking British ship. I felt bad for the Mexicans. Well, they couldn't really crash into the bridge. A couple of them died. Did they really? Yeah, dude's standing on the fucking mess true. Yeah, yeah two guys There's a lady up there Young 20 year old and a 45 year old man died. There's a lady in it and they're all they're like official sailors in the Mexican Navy Yeah, oh 20 and 23. Yes damn They were American. Oh, Oh wait, her name was America. Nevermind.

Yeah. No, her name was for real America? Yeah. All right, P, that's fucked, man. I bet not to be rude at this point and objectify somebody who died, but she sounds hot. Yeah. You, if I were a high up in the Mexican Navy, I would name my hottest daughter America for sure. Yeah. If I were high up in the Mexican Navy,

I would name my hottest daughter America for sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's again. Dang, that sucks. True, you're here, you're like, hey man, let me see your, like dude, my name's, I'm literally America.

My name's America. Actually, that means she could've been Captain America. I didn't know people died, that's crazy. I just saw like a quick glance of that bridge that thing cracking in the bridge I was like and everybody you know there's like influencers underneath taking pictures and then a boat comes and everyone was laughing when they got hit Literally everyone was down there laughing and running damn And the lads were hanging from the mast they're Tied I think they were like tied up there.

They were like hanging on to, yeah. Yeah, probably lanyards going on. Dang. That sucks too, because you're up there fucking hanging onto a mast, you're going, I guarantee you, we're gonna hit that fucking bridge. You had a lot of time to be like,

we're headed right at that bridge, there's no way we're getting under that. Yeah, drop the anchors. This article says them being up there is a tradition. Which is a traditional ritual. They're secured by harnesses to the top with their arms wide open. And I don't, it's their ritual.

Their arms wide open. That's the Mexican constitution, it's just the OSHA 30 men. It's the OSHA 30 men. Dude, that is fucking wild. Dude, a helicopter crashed in the horse's backyard. Yeah, dude, a helicopter. He sent me a picture.

Crash landed in his backyard. I think they survived, but imagine of all places a crash in a horse's backyard. The most, the biggest, he must have been going nuts. Oh, dude, just hammering you. He was probably running around. Hammering you with quite, what what the hell you guys doing out here You wake up. You're like, oh fuck. Yeah, he's like a Jack Russell. Yeah Yeah, so like a car comes in front of his house. He must sprint around the house

Yes, we're crashing crashing in the horses world is so funny man. Yeah, I don't know what the hell's going on They died. They't know what the hell's going on. They died What we guys even thinking you can't drive what the hell's going on pussy no Yeah, man, it's I don't know what's going on people Is it the smartphones dude you think it's a 5g taking down the or just the distraction? Things 5g taking down the or just the distraction Or again, it's like yeah, there's the thing like this always happens But but also like like cuz they say like when things happen the media starts to focus on them But it's also like dude. That's two crashes in just the Northeast Philly or whatever. No, he doesn't live in Northeast Philly

He lives out there, but there was one in Northeast Philly in the Philly area. Yeah, there's been two crashes It's like I've never heard of that man. I Think about that jet a lot. Oh god, I think came Steam and yeah, yeah Exploded it was a rocket The hell's going on. Yeah, I mean I just every year I'm hopeful I go, please man I think I'd rather be on the rocket than the fucking Mexican boat though the rocket was fast the boat you just fucking harness to a mast seeing the Brooklyn Bridge come at you for fucking

20 minutes yeah apparently Asian pilots have a big problem I was actually when I when I no no I sort of, because of the like honor culture. When you were gone, I did an, I like just did one of those Zooms with a bunch of bros and there's a guy in air traffic control. It's pretty sick. He zoomed in from air traffic and in the tower.

He was in the tower. That's not good. No, he said, and he did, he's like, zero nine Roger, he's the guy that got it. And he did go. Jesus Christ. But,

Jesus Christ, but But he was saying that there's a problem with the like honor codes among Asian pilots yes Pilots yes and young yeah, yeah, this is a common thing. Yeah, where they're like they can't speak up against an older guy That's fucking up. Yeah, there's an epidemic of just single anime beads I don't know how true that is because I've heard it really it's yeah, it's like an urban legend. I think no No, I knew it before you told me it I've heard this I know it's their culture, but I don't think one of its true. I really doubt it's true I don't know dude. They stabbed themselves in the belly's dude I don't think they've been doing that for a long time. They don't stab themselves in the belly. They stop doing that.

I think if you're in a plane crash or like something's fucked up in 2025, I think honor goes out the window. I hope. Dude, they got like K-pop and shit now. They're not, you're thinking old Asians. Yeah, but that's the- These are young Asians. You're thinking cool hip young Asians with sunglasses being like, oh yeah, whatever. No, but they have that.

That's in the world. They have fucking anime and shit now. True. They're all about disrespect. You're thinking cool hip young Asians with sunglasses being like oh, yeah, well no, but they have that that's in the world They have fucking anime and shit now true. They're they're all about disrespect The hats turn backwards They're bad boys isn't all anime about like a young guy being like I'm no longer your fucking pupil Yeah, but then he has to undergo tests that like you know it's all about tests I think the big test is is the plane going down it's time for me to fucking rise up and go please hit that button You gotta go super cyan to tell the older

Left engines out Yeah, I'm telling you I saw witness it when I worked in the Korean beer distributor the guy would like, bro I'm not lying he was the boss of the whole place he owned it and he would put his feet up on one of those little plug-in radiators and I watched him knock a cup on the floor and like another guy younger guy came and picked it up he just went like that and I was like damn didn't say a word just like oh Sue I think you could do that here. You think I can lord out I think knock one of those cups over cable. I could go Now you have his little split thing he's too rich

Yeah, he's too rich powerful guard. He's too rich and powerful two more two more years of the Spotify money They are moving in on Fucking gain its track. He's gathered a small army. He is gathering They're moving in they wait patiently they go. Well these guys are about done Just have his apartment. It'll be golfs you guys better the mayor had some freak-offs when I was gone. Oh, yeah You guys bet Lamar had some free golfs when I was gone for sure. Oh, yeah Have you been following that trial at all a little I've been hearing it. I haven't I haven't I heard Did he like to clean up so what swabbing the you talking about so I can swap the deck

That was so I didn't hear that from the trial that somebody told me that that was in the trial So I don't know swab is I think he swabbed the decks Because one of his things but we were laughing about earlier just that poor lady's husband's in the trial. He's listen I know bro. I know obviously he's into it You think definitely okay? There's no way they warned you would went Definitely okay No, there's no way You went I'm out yeah He's obviously like I knew this about her yeah true

I would like I would like a you know how they do those like courtroom drawings It's funny to have him in the back like dark red face of smoke coming out of his ears Bubbles coming out of his head. Yeah, that's pretty wild because yeah, they're like, that's the defense I guess. They're hitting her with like, and you fucked this guy too, right? She's like, yes I did. The problem is there's so many texts of her like, saying she liked it. Getting freaky.

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that. So there's a tie off. Yeah, and they called them FOs. She would be like, when's our next FO? She would be like, yo, we need to do a freak. She would be like, diddy please, diddy. Apparently, he's-

Allegedly, I have no idea. Yeah, no, there was, yeah, they're, that's the whole case being like, bro bro The problem was he lied about hitting her in that video of him Beating her came out which again if you're a diddy's defense you go okay? He hit his wife sorry like let's press charges on that but not sec not sex trafficking So that's but yeah, the texts are damning yeah, but I saw there was a thing from his former assistant that stated like, you know, he got in there and they were like, bro, we're this is his kingdom. We're here to serve. And then it like kind of jumped to the fact that there's

a video of him dancing around like a fool on Molly. He said he was in there like, were you partying? He goes, I was drunk off the sorok. I had taken Molly don't name your brand. I was diddy flippin. He literally goes diddy boppinin he goes I was diddy-boppin and he literally in front of the judge under oath goes yeah I was vibing he was vibing at the fo but he goes you kind of like I don't know if he was trying to paint the picture like he was kind of forced on you to like party down like that which is like you could have just said no yeah he was like I kind of had to vibe in order to keep the job.

So that's not it's kind of it's kind of starting to look like from my perspective that everyone was having a great time at these ditty parties, which I've said all along. I'm like, look, there might have been evil, evil stuff going on. But I do think people were partying down. It's you know, it's a giant drug-fueled orgy. Yeah, they're talking about like four-day sex parties.

Yeah. Do you ever have sex for an hour? I don't think so. This blows. It's so much. Yeah. No, this is like when you need like stimulants and electrolytes having sex.

Three minutes. You better get yours, because I'm going to get mine. I'm about to freak off right now Free guy to go because I've been in a hotel for a week. I was having nothing but freak offs down in Atlanta She's getting the electrolytes For ten days Like a cat before bed. You go like, man, man.

Oh man. Yeah, that trial, I guess that's gonna fall apart, I guess, you know, if you get the texts. Because again, the sex trafficking has to be, they have no idea. Like you have to be tricking them into taking them. We get a little, I feel like we throw around sex trafficking a lot. It's definitely broadened.

State lines are really. Yeah. Yeah, but it's also like, yeah, it's definitely broadened. So if I call a lady from Montana, and I don't explicitly say, I wanna have sex. Yeah. Then we have sex.

You're in the gray area. If you say, hey, let's just sit here and you wanna chill and watch a movie. You wanna watch me play Xbox for a weekend? Traffic. Congratulations, you've been trafficked by the best. I thought we were gonna game. You just got tricked by one of the all time traffickers.

Yeah, it's pretty wild, man. But yeah, I don't know. Here's my thing is, if he gets off, like say his defense, they rally, they get him off. He's going to have to team up with Ye if he gets off. That's exactly what I was saying. He's going to have to. There's no choice.

He's going to have to become a Nazi. I mean, either way, he might have to become a Nazi if he goes to jail or if he did it right now, then he's in full Nazi territory. He just has to be a Nazi. I wonder if Kanye's music has reached the prisons. I think so. I think they're getting... I wonder if the...

He could unite the A.B.'s and the blacks. Whoa. And because the whites are... Ooh, the Latinos are in trouble if the blacks become Nazis. The whites are aligned with the Mexican Navy as well in prison. The Mexican Navy? Yeah.

The whites and the Mexicans ride together. Yes. So he could unite the factions. I mean, again, you know, people keep acting like that's genuinely a summer banger. It's like, it's not a summer banger. Let's be real. Yeah, you're right.

I don't think it's that. Is, do you think that's the summer? I mean, again, I know I'm putting you in the hot seat. I'm not in the hot seat, but I'm pretty sure he sampled All Quiet on the Western Front. And that's all it took for me. I've been waiting for somebody to sample that fucking noise.

It happened to be in the worst song possible. But first time I listened to it, I heard the Dan, Dan, Dan. And I was like, oh, here it comes. And then it went right into, I was like, oh shit. When that Dan and Anne kicks in, I remember I saw the video being premiered on the one, like the guy's stream, one of the streams. Yeah.

And I remember being like, fuck. But then it goes right back into just the all quiet on the Western front. So that's kind of tight. I think that's it, right? He's, I haven't heard anyone's it, right? He's... I haven't heard anyone bring it up, which I'm surprised they haven't.

I didn't know that was all quiet in the Western Front. As soon as I heard it, I said, it has to be this sort, you know? Stop doing this to me, yay! Don't make it the coolest thing possible, yay! Ha ha ha ha! Do do do do do do do. Can somebody play the music?

The Kanya, it is the All Quiet? Fuck yeah. Oh wow. I knew it. I could feel it. I could feel it. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life. But you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning. You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink.

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I mean, yeah, and yeah, he could if he's got something else up his sleeve. Because that's obviously my thing is like. You know how it just came up right away on my. Yes. I can't play it but. That's the thing what I'm saying is. It's pretty easy to find if I open Twitter it's playing. Yeah, oh yeah it's everywhere. My thing is if he dropped one that you can actually play somewhere that would have been I think kind of devastating

Obviously, you know, he got he got his message But I'm saying I mean, I don't know why I'm even saying like he needs him he needs to come out with a more broadly popular I think he's over that I think he's been there done that. Now he's kind of more in a niche. Yeah, now he's, yeah. Yeah. I do, yeah. People were wondering how he was gonna top I Suck My Cousin's Dick.

No one's even talking about that. People are going, there's no way he can top that. Yeah, imagine announcing that to the world and then the next week everyone's like, yeah, yeah, fuck that, check this out. And you're like, it's pretty pretty wild people aren't bringing that up He might have regretted I suck my cousin's dick song and gone. We gotta hurry up and get in the studio We got to make these people forget about suck my cousin's dick song

Yeah, but do you look where did he find the guys in the video you see the dudes in the wolf costumes They're down, bro. I mean for sure It's crazy, that's a weird casting call It's like bros. Let's go is his casting call was yeah, man. I think he said Man it blacker than the brawn minimum Which is such a funny? I think I don't know if it was that exactly but No, that wasn't AI

No, those are those are real Yes, those dudes That's a silent that's been a silent battle for a while that's gonna be tough for you Lamar with your fucking Will be Goldberg view sensibilities. Yeah, it's gotta be hard for you to see this. It's been, I haven't even, I've been off Kanye for like two years now. I know. Yeah. You've been off him you're saying?

Yeah. I haven't even heard this song yet. Our Uber driver was blasting it. You haven't heard it yet? No, I still haven't heard it yet. You haven't heard it? Oh, you haven't? Not the Nazi song.

Oh, God damn. Our Uber driver was just blasting Kanye. So he was, you know, he's not off him. I'm still listening to Kanye. Yeah, his songs. Yeah. Yeah songs are great. They were yeah It was a nice little playlist. Yeah going on yeah The problem is with the new song is it does get stuck in your head a little it completely does Yeah, it's fun showing my wife. I was like check this out. She just got to be like It is fun to show people yeah like there. I was so happy he goes I haven't heard yet

I was like oh you haven't heard yet Wait till you fucking hear this You're literally not gonna believe it while it's playing you're gonna go Sweet is he a billionaire or not? He keeps saying he's a billionaire then I hear like he just like doesn't even have He can't even have a bank account. That'd be tough to. I think he's allowed to have a bank account again. Can he?

Yeah, I think they took it away the first time. That's crazy. That was crazy. Yeah, you can't do that. We gotta pass a law or you can't do that. You can't take everything from someone? Yeah, you can't just take that words. Bank account, yeah, that's crazy.

Well, that only happens. I know, I know happens in certain situations. But... Yeah, well, he's... Matt. Wait a second. Hold on. Who's that one group?

Matt. All right, let's switch this. I like that one group. Matt. Ha ha ha ha ha. Alright, let's switch this. What else is going on? Nate was defending Angel Reese with me in a text that was pissing me off. Nate loves Angel Reese. Nate's fucking gay. Yeah, Kailin threw a shot, man.

Fucking, no, Angel Reese flopped. It was just a regular basketball play. Come on, man. I wasn't defending Angel Reese. Not once It was just a regular basketball play. Come on, man. I wasn't defending Angel Reese. I Not once I just huh She put the hardest yes, I got a feeling I got feeling the Meeze is a Caitlin Clark lover Yeah, yeah I wasn't I wasn't that was a she she did a She pushed her in the back and then kind of flopped. Kaitlyn's all small compared to Andrew.

She definitely flopped. Yeah. Nah. Well, she was, it looked like she was attacking, she was like doing a hard fail against Kaitlyn Clark's teammate. It was a hard fail to make sure she couldn't get the shot up. And then Clark was like kind of broken, like get off her.

She made a play on the ball and everything. Like that was, that shouldn't even have been, I think they gave it like a flagrant foul or something like that. It was a pretty, it's also, it's girls basketball. It was a hard fail. That was the trump card every single time. Anytime people get like a heated argument about this,

you go. What are we doing here guys? Y'all are getting about girls basketball. Guys, what are we even doing here right now. Let's go look at some trucks Some big boy look at big boy toys. We could be looking at big boy toys. We're bickering But yeah, that's I mean it's kind of nice that that's were you guys excited at all to see Angela Reese beating up on? Angel angel my bad angel Reese beating up on Caitlin Clark be honest when you saw it did that like stoke any like tribalism? No, not not

All black production staff now, did you hear about that what red haired people are black now? It's a big oh, yeah true as No, I did not like damn it is fucked up You're the only white member of the production and you're the richest and the only one that gets paid a million dollars That's crazy the other guys get paid in Chipotle every other week Chipotle every other week is good You are the COO dude. Chief Operations Officer.

You are. You're the heart and soul of this. It'll be funny to edit all this out. Anytime we talk about you being rich, just edit it. I'll never notice, I'll never know. It's crazy. Yeah, that's I saw that. Go. What else is going? Is there any is there any like controversy? The sports world is quiet now.

It was all Shader Sanders and it was all Shader. Now it's this week it was Caitlin Clark. Angel Reese. Yeah, that was the big one. Because black pundits started going back and forth. What were they fighting about? RG 3 RG3 was just saying, Angel Reese clearly is jealous and hates Caitlin Clark. And then Ryan Clark jumped in and was like,

you have a white wife, dude, shut the fuck up. Oh! And then black people had to pick sides. Damn. Yeah, you can speak on WNBA. I can. You're allowed to. I am not. That's true. You're the only one in the room who can speak on WMBA. I can't you're allowed to You're the only one who can speak on WMBA. I know you can't

Yeah, I know you can't either no one in the room can talk WMBA other than that just me did you see the clip of camera on a mace talking about Paul Pierce Paul Pierce's remarks about why NBA players tend to date white women. No, what was it? Dude, it was the first two and a half minutes, Mace was, I guess, remote zooming in from an Airbnb and then they had, I forget the other guy's name,

I don't know who he was, but I believe he was a basketball player, but they both have, well, Mace doesn't have but he they both have well nation's never They both have black wives and so when they're asking about like, what do you think about that? They both laughed and neither one would talk Like and he's like well and they kept like go ahead and take this and then the camera was it Cameron kept it real So he goes you motherfuckers are proving the point dude. You got the pit boss Lee leaning right? They're proving the point dude. You got the pit boss leaning right over you right now The camera started talking about how he loves using it to his advantage with white women Like you did hold my people down go get me a fucking sandwich

It was funny just watching them giggle for two minutes They're funny as hell They're unbelievable. They're unmatched. Yeah, we gotta get we gotta get them on the we gotta get them on the pot They're so good. But yeah, it was them on the pop. They're so good. But yeah, it was just Mace in the kitchen just kinda like, oh, it's pretty complicated. Uh, he goes, I can't talk right now. It was unbelievable.

But that's a big thing that pops up. There's a lot of black dudes that are, they just go online and they're just like, this is why we date white, and they love just bashing Queens, dude They do bash the Queens they talk about how white women are subservient. Yeah, they talk about that a lot Yeah, I've heard Charleston white go off on it Yeah, it was a it was very fun it was very fun to watch them just kind of dancing around an Airbnb. He's being like

Yeah, you go ahead. You go. He goes look man. I'm I've been happily married I don't know about this, but you know it's really funny, but it is a hot issue man It sucks it my thing is like it sucks You can't like just to have like some you know smut put like put towards your way for having a white wife That's you know that hurts my heart. It's crazy. You guys need to work on that. Why is it our fault that the white lady is like us?

It's not your fault. I say it's a mutually benefit. I think people like people. People love people, yeah. I also think RG3 is right. Ryan Clark was kind of being a dick because he was wrong. He went nuclear because he was wrong. There's nothing wrong with that.

Losing an argument and going, you know what? You have braces. I see why RC hit the fucking eject on the combo. I'm gonna change the topic right now. Don't you have a fucking white wife? I'm playing in the snow. Shannon Sharp fucking, Shannon the Sharp got fucking frostbite.

Yeah, he was out in the cold too long. Whatever happened with that? I'm still in court. They're still in court? Yeah, free all the black guys out of court. All the black guys are in court. I wanted a speedy trial for that. He's not getting a speedy trial. Goddamn, free all the black guys

for getting some pussy for once. Yeah, they're finally getting pussy and the goddamn entire judicial system's fucking weaponized against them. Can't let come off your wife anymore You can't hire a bunch of male prostitutes All up a bunch of come Did anyone even checked if any of these were his birthday party?

What if it was his birthday weekend? Your honor it was his birthday Talking I need to talk to my attorney. It was my birthday. That one was actually my birthday. Struck that from the jury, disregard that, that was his birthday. Those male prostitutes had to be super hyped

to show up in Cassie's there, because Cassie's like top 10 most beautiful women in the world. Yeah, male prostitutes are only top 10 most beautiful women in the world. Top 10 most beautiful women in the world? Yeah. Not anymore. Their stock has plummeted. Also as a male prostitute, most of your day is like blowing gay guys.

They finally, you know, you get the call, you go, Jesus Christ, thank God. I've been swabbing the deck all day. You swab in the deck and then you get in there you see Cassie go This is gonna be great and then did he comes out of the closet Fucking swab the deck again god damn it Dang that what a battle in court just the most like Harrowing sexual experiences just coming to light you go haha got her. Oh shit. I remember that fuck Just back and forth for the whole country

stuff Yeah, it's a fucking nightmare nightmare It could be why Epstein killed himself Maybe it wasn't he had too many secrets. He was just like this trial is gonna be so fucking embarrassing They have so many texts that just suck The I would keep you awake at night you go that one clip of the egg shape that was a brutal Yeah, egg-shaped dong egg-shaped dong was brutal

We can talk about me being a child sex predator all you like don't talk about my egg-shaped penis Leave my egg out of this. That's it That's enough I've had enough you put enough on my name today you've crossed the line Yeah, man, it's like It's crazy where we're living under're living under a genuine surveillance state anymore. It's just like, not saying you should have giant freak offs and drug ladies, allegedly. But it's like, you really can't let your hair down

anymore, man. Keep it buttoned up. We're living under a giant panopticon. Used to be able to have fun. I mean. Used to be able to fly under the the radar let's say that now yeah, although I always assumed That's kind of what every celebrity was doing when I was younger I just imagined you're in a mansion full of naked women doing drugs

It's kind of what I thought when they're like you get this it's like yeah Yeah, that's what I thought. When they're like, did you get this? It's like, yeah. That's what I thought. It is crazy that it did, I mean we talked about it, but the fact that every black dude on earth was saying every rapper was gay. And we were like, what the fuck are they talking about? I do, it was like, you guys are crazy. God damn, they nailed it.

That was, they were saying this 15 years ago. There's like three that aren't gay, and they're chirping like 50s. It must feel so good, methamane, just to be be like I wasn't one of the gay ones. Yep. Haha It's gotta feel good Just to be like, yep wasn't there. Yes Even getting caught in the crosshairs of it. It's just like fuck could happen to any of us I would have gone to a fucking diddy party in a heartbeat

Well not knowing what was gonna have if I got there and there was a freak off I would fucking get the fuck out of there. Yeah, just cuz I'd be I'd be totally embarrassed and humiliated true I'd be just a young sapling in the fucking Redwoods Little sunlight you guys are hogging all the fucking son Some fucking mael stripper would come over and go, oh, hey, fuck off me, what is this? What kind of party is this? That'd be so funny to have to go,

you're the star witness, you're like, what happened? Be like, I went there and I just got jerked off by a guy. Fucking guy tugged me and I ran, I ran out of the house crying. He tugged me, I, you know, I was kind of... He tugged me, I started swinging like a pig, and I raced out of the party. And that's when my butt plug fell out. That's when my butt plug fell out and I shit everywhere and I had to sprint.

I doubled back from my vibrating raccoon tail butt plug and... Damn, if your plug fell out plug fell you dumped they'd get freaks would come out of walls like cockroaches Four days of drugs and said dude, what are we talking about? You go on a four-day bud light bender you go. Well, oh Yeah, man. Think about doing drugs and getting tugged. Butt sex, you know how fucking tired you must be? That's crazy. Tony, they have like, you need like IVs and shit. You need like IVs, yeah, it's insane.

Not eating, you're like laying there. The next morning. Your eating must be fucking hell in there too. Oh yeah. Unless, I don't know a single person who's ever that's just movies were like eating a turkey leg and having sex I'm gonna say they're probably doing that sex eating. Yeah, but yeah a lot of grapes People hand you grapes Usher's bowl of cherries

That's my favorite footage of usher allegedly destroying marriage marriages. Do you ever see those cherries? Yeah, just It's evil bro, but they're it cherries is weird because when he holds them up, they look like a little boy's testicles There's just a 40 year old lady like Fucking cut that out. Yeah, that's it's kind of you know, it's not really a responsible behavior No, dude, imagine seeing your babe It's not really a responsible behavior. No. Dude, imagine seeing your babe. Do you see some of that footage?

Dude, they're like eyes closed, like grunting. It's like, what the fuck, man? Like, I get it. Yeah, it's usher. It's usher, dude. It's usher. It's usher, you're wet, you're horny. It's public record.

He does have herpes, so allegedly. That's why he uses the bowl of cherries. Yeah, allegedly, by the way. There's a guy who claims Usher gave him herpes through case X. What is going on with these fellas? I don't know, dude. Are the honks innocent or are the honks quiet during all this? The honks are awfully quiet right now.

The honks are being quiet, but you know,ks are being quiet but you know there was some... We had FCS Island. We had the fucking... Oh yeah. Bieber. Bieber's on one since the trial started. He's been acting out. He's been acting out.

I don't think he's acting out. I don't know. I've seen it. He's just fading. I think he's just kind of fading. He's posting shit on Instagram. I've just seen... Yeah, maybe.

I've seen little clips here and there. He's just faded. I saw some of that too and he's just kind of... He's off to hell. there. He's just faded. I saw some of that too, and he's just kind of, yeah. He's just standing in his room kind of like with his hat like this, just kind of like wrapping to himself kind of high. Yeah, I- A lot of people are, yeah, a lot of people are-

I don't understand the Bieber hysteria. Which seems kind of crunk? I just think he's crunk right now. I mean, I'd be getting crunk if everyone was like, are you okay? And you're like, well what? The whole ditty thing, get the fuck out of my face. Yeah.

I'm getting crunk right now. Yeah, I'm not worried about anything, I'm crunk. Why is everyone asking if I'm all right? I've been crunk this whole time. What the fuck? Nothing worse than being crunk and someone goes, are you all right? Yeah, nothing would crush my vibe. What the fuck, I thought we were having a good time. We were at the club, just having a good time. worse than being crunk and someone goes, are you all right? Yeah, nothing would crush my vibe.

What the fuck? I thought we were having a good time. We were at the club, just having a good time. It was the IG Live. Yeah, and someone comes up to me and goes, you should go home. You go, oh shit. I thought I was killing it tonight.

He does rule, I thought about it. I saw some thing trying to say like, he lost all his money and this and that. I'm like, dude, Biebs is a legend. He's killed it for so long. He's killed it for so long. We support Biebs here. Full support of Biebers.

We support the Biebs. Yeah, boy. But yeah, I was a little sensitive in my hotel room. I was going, I saw the clip, like he lost all his money and I was like, leave the man alone. I bet he didn't. Yeah, I was saying, I'm like dude, it's almost impossible. Yeah, he has a lot of money

Well, that's probably worth 200 million yeah, he's all right then yeah 200 mil they're like he lost all this money now He only has 200 million. It's like It'd be I he's got enough to get crunk on IG live. He's good Yeah, if you have 200 million you're gonna get croc on IG live. He's good. Yeah. If you have 200 million, you're going to get crunk on IG live. And in any point he can go do a tour and make. That is all better. All this behavior is better than Zuckerberg's outfit. That's a guy who's losing his fucking mind. Does he, I don't know if this is true.

Does he live in like an underground like cave in Hawaii? I think he bought a tunnel Zuck might have a tunnel dude He got the best tunnel I don't know if I can't see Jewish man's dream. I'm gonna get a beachfront tunnel I'm gonna get a beachfront tunnel Does he look that up because I did see some sort of diagram I didn't watch it He lives in a ranch of 5,000 square that he lives in a ranch in Hawaii that has a 5,000 square foot bunker Damn that is nice when you upgrade your tunnel so much they have to call it a bunker

The Jewish bunkers under New York sounds a lot better That does. Dang that's crazy. Tunnels sucks. That would be sick though just arguing with your wife and just being like just retiring to the bunker I'm going to the bunker. Just go like 40 fucking yeah 400 feet underground bitch. Get down there screaming she can't hear you in the bunker. Bitch! See El Chapo just pop into your living room you're like what the fuck? El Chapo, the Mexican and the Joppo just pop into your living room, you're like, what the fuck? The Joppo, yeah, the Mexican and the Jews must have bumped into each other. They probably have. They probably have. Yeah.

What the heck are you doing down here? Yeah, that's nice. I understand the tunneling though. Yeah, get down there. So you remember when it would snow when you were a kid? You go, I'd love to build a tunnel. Oh yeah, dude. It's like the way Billy likes big boy toys.

Yeah. I bet Jewish dudes, you're like, why are you tunneling? They're like, I don't know, it's just like my favorite thing. Yeah, I just like the way Billy likes big boy toys. Yeah, I bet Jewish dudes. You're like white tone They're like, I don't know. I just it's like my favorite thing. Yes like to do it. It's fun It's fun to do sneaky. No one knows what I'm doing that. I Don't know what it is. I just like tunneling underneath New York. I could be you know, my house next year I don't know. It's easy. I know I just pop over another house. No one goes. Oh, who the fuck is this guy? There yeah, we can't we we're never gonna move on. Number one, Mexican boat hitting the bridge.

It's never not gonna be funny. All-timer. Jewish guy coming out of the fucking sewer grate. It's the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen. God, that would ruin my day. If I was Jewish, just like eating breakfast, reading the newspaper, and I just saw that a Jewish guy got caught, and it wasn't like,

it was like yeah and it had to be like the like capital J Jewish guys with the fucking the do I'd be like bro dude I'd call a meeting I bet guys this is bullshit. Yeah we gotta talk at the GOG. We gotta hit the gog. Everyone get to the gog. To the gog. That was, that's probably there. Like that was kind of ours. Charlottesville was tough for the honks. Yes. I remember that. Cause we, I vividly remember that. We had a podcast, we had a live podcast

at Helium the night before. And I was like, Trump fucking rules. White people are back. Thinking it was funny. The next day Charlottesville happened and I was hungover laying on a couch watching the news Delete that pocket we changed the title as well title must be not the title

Charlottesville And I had to change it. Charlottesville. I had to change it, I remember that. I forget what I changed it to. We probably had a conversation on the phone just like, dude, I don't know. Yeah, it's fucking hilarious, but I don't think we should do it.

Charlottesville, yeah. Fuck. Dude, the hangover, laying on the couch watching Charlottesville just going, Damn, I said a lot of crazy shit last night. I didn't know they were going to do this today. Exactly, that's the fucked up part. There's nothing we could do about it, we didn't know. That's what happened to me when I was in grade school.

I wrote, like, I copy and pasted some sort of rap lyrics about shooting someone. The next day Columbine happened. I was like shit Yeah, goddamn reported and kicked off a well Getting kicked off a well was Imagine no messenger after school getting home trying to text her. Yeah, I am I am yeah It's a message one of the babes dude. I I don't know within a way message you go Oh, I don't think the person you get in trouble for this, but I knew someone who had, who found one of his teacher's AOL screen names and just anonymously for a year just bought,

like very viciously attacked this guy online. Nobody, I was surprised his classmates knew and they didn't nobody snitched he got pulled into the disciplinarians all I was like right away it was crazy he got like grilled and he was just like and through the the name was oh my god what was the name silver thunder 64 20 69 was hit the kid the kids name yes silver thunder and it was it was just his name it's just attack silver silver thunder remember that's a green silver thunder, and it was it was just his green name. It's just attack Silver thunder remember that like malt liquor silver thunder no it was just silver thunder 420

Just Gavin that guy calling you F's and B's What's up be F, what's up B? Just getting home from a long day of school, all the kids are fucking pieces of shit. You go, all right, I'm gonna see what's going on on the worldwide web. Oh, it's followed me home. Did you have any teachers in high school

that had zero control of the class? Oh yeah. That was the best, dude. Almost like all of the teachers. Really? Dude, my high school was like a poor Catholic school. Oh, yeah. I was the best dude almost Like all of the teachers really dude. My high school was like a poor Catholic school Yeah, it was like we had teachers that were making like 20 grand a year I don't even think you had to have a teaching degree Yeah, there was one lady who was she was oh, I don't know if she was fucking blind But I used to we had the doors in the front back of the classroom

And when she was teaching and I had a period off I would see how many times I could walk Laps through her class before she noticed she'd be teaching and I would just be walking through the class by like the sixth lap She'd be like mr. Gillis We had a lady who Big dog she was actually she was funny. She was nice, but actually she was our science teacher We went on a field trip and she was like what you guys want to do for lunch Old country buffet on the bus. She was like oh country buffet She took us to OCB. Yeah, she was awesome, but I would sing

werewolves of London under my breath at all times. Anytime she turned her back, I'd go, I saw a werewolf, a Chinese man. And she would go. Yeah. Right, yeah. And then, oh, fuck, there was a game we played.

It was like cow in the pen or something, where we would all pick up our desks and surround her. or something where we would all pick up our desks and surround her. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha would be like a totally autistic nerd. We could do whatever we want here. We had one guy who was just, every time he turned around, like five kids would go, his name is Mr. Horn, everyone would go, Horn! Knock it off.

And he'd just go back to bed. It's like, what the fuck? It's the only way to combat it. Yeah, exactly. Because if you spaz, it's over. Oh, dude, oh yeah. Because you don't have teachers that spaz. Yeah.

We had teachers spaz a lot. We had teachers, we had teachers at Spaz, we had ladies cry constantly. Yep. And then, oh man, that was the best. When we were growing up, we had a teacher that would cry all the time in Spaz, but she also sang in the church choir. And we didn't have a choir, but she would sing at church.

We had like one lady sing, did you ever have that? Yeah. It was just one woman. They'd play organs and you'd hear a lady. But we would always tell her how much we loved her singing, gentle woman. Such a good song.

He's full of love. And her and another lesbian teacher would sing it. They would duet it. And we would be like, can you guys, can you please sing it? And they'd be like, fine. We'd be in the middle of class. We'd be like, can you please sing that song? And she would sing it and they'd be like fine We'd be in the middle of class would be like can you please sing that song and she was singing it we would all laugh Do it again she fell for it every time

Oh, it's so fucking funny. Yeah, yeah, the Ave Maria used to genuinely fuck me up when I was little I'd be like Just being a monster in church just like checking out babes just fucking around my brothers and they'd hit the Ave Maria and I'd be like god this is so fucking beautiful. Yeah there'd be some nice ones. The Cantor that's the Cantor would belt out we had that we literally had an organ lady who would like crush cigs between songs and then we just had like you know Cantors here and there were coming and strut their stuff. The we've talked about that thing before but the one that always got me was at the end of Christmas mass they sang Joy to the World.

Fired me up every time. Once it started, I'd be like, oh, it's time to play with fucking my big boy toys. This is the most lit song, it was Charlottesville. It was too lit. It was litty. Yeah, that was sick, dude, when the toys, when you're like like we're finally leaving church is done

Then let's get the longest mass of all time Oh my god, it was one hour, but it felt like an eternity It did took a whole bunch of toys at home and then the pre they were like people start leaving I look at my mom like she make not until the priest goes by to make Oh, you always have to wait for the fucking priest and then we gotta shake his hand out in the fuck Yeah, narthex now. What was it called the fuck's a narthex the Not that up. It's not the annex. It's I know you're talking about that little area outside. Yeah, the hell was that called I

Like blank on that terminology all the time. Yeah, it was kind of like The narthex. Yes, the narthex. We got to meet up in our thanks to shake the pre said narthex is such a crazy. It's all in there. It's you guys rattling around. Yeah, you have to go shake his hand. Yeah, you got to talk to him.

We had a guy explain. You got to explain to the priest why you were talking during mass today I was bad And he goes well, I'm gonna suck your dick You are a bad boy we had a guy who was when he wasn't doing mass he would chill in the narthex and Catch the early defectors and be like, what's the rush? You'd have to just walk by and I'm like, shit. Getting out to the North X was so nice though.

Don't be mad, just be like, I have to go to the bathroom and your parents would be like, no you fucking don't. I know you don't have to go to the fucking bathroom. Dad, I have to shit. I have to poop. Dad, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up right now.

I would see my brother go, he would come back and be like, can I go to the bathroom? He's like, you guys should have waited for a game. I'll be real quick. I would literally just walk around. Yeah, you'd just go out to the North X and go, god damn, it's nice out here. It's quiet. No one's out here. I feel like I'm doing something.

I would see the family standing, they didn't get a seat. I'd be like, that's so sick. I want to stand so bad. I wish I was standing in they didn't get a seat. I'm like Yeah, my dad would spend the full up. Come here. Come here. You had to sit next to him. He goes, fuck, shut the fuck up. He grabbed you by the back of the neck and dig in and goes, shut the fuck up. Fuck.

Sing. Sing the fucking song. It'd be me and my brothers and you get separated out. You ever get sent down next to dad, that blows. Oh, it sucked so bad. It was nice though, in another one, I'd have another one of my brothers get picked off,

so then you'd somehow get back together, you'd be like, it's on. Yes. Yo, look at her yellow dress, she's so fucking hot. Yeah, fucking slut, dude. It is crazy, man. Every single boy is just fucking rock hard. Dime hard. The most horny you've ever been in your life, and your dad's next to you going, It is crazy man every single boys just fucking rock hard

Horny you've ever been in your life and your dad's next to you going I would kneel down and go like this and just slap my balls against my leg the whole time Knock it off. I wonder uh You know I never got around to asking my sisters, but do you think the ladies get fucking horny in there, too? Definitely you think the girls are horny too for sure must be for Absolute sure I used to get so bored that the priest I would it would literally my vision would go into black and white I vividly remember staring and just going into black and white and just being like, Yeah. Hey, stand up.

We're standing up. Get your ass off the pew. Drop the kneeler quietly. Because I was going to say, hey. Yeah, Catholic Church fucking rules, bro. Put it down with your hands. Fucking jackass. You guys don't even know.

It was tight, man. LaMare hates Catholicism. I went to Catholic school. True, you got kicked out for diddying. You had a free golf that kicked you out. Yeah, it used to suck. Catholic Church? Yeah.

Mass, dude? It used to be so boring. I came from black church to Catholic church and that was a devastating switch. It's a hard step down. Yeah. It is. And I couldn't, and since I wasn't Catholic like I was baptized, but I wasn't Catholic So I couldn't do communion like there was just part so I just had to sit there and just

Had a mortal sin on your soul to a paris. I never got to they wouldn't let me confess to the priest I just have to sit there with my sins We had church did you guys have church during school hours? Sometimes we fucking rock that every class is gonna be ten minutes shorter. Yep. Fuck Yeah, maybe my boys would belt out to it was so fun church and church is school First Friday mass just belting out with your boys screaming as loud as you can you were looking just be like I'm singing I'm allowed to say what sing the songs. This is how I sing How I worship

Get off my back. I was switch over a patreon. Bye