Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 568 - Hollywood Night Cast

Episode Date: July 21, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com yo0o. Sorry for da wait. We were on cali time. lol jk we'll do 2 casts this week. Here's a Hollywood cast for you though. It was recorded at 2am after a day of libations and celebrations - so we apologize for the edits. It's still a very hot cast imho (in my humble opinion). Congrats to Shang. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Get DUDE Wipes at Amazon and retailers nationwide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow Wow Wes We're out here just living these Hollywood nights dude Hollywood nights Polly bye Yeah, do you fuck You're a New Year's Anderson Cooper You're a New Year's Anderson Cooper. You're a New Year's Anderson Cooper. My goal was to keep it together, to have it completely under the radar. I'm not trying to claim good ones,

but I'm New Year's fucking Don Lemon, called it. Called it. You're a New Year's Anderson Cooper. Nate's fucking just Nate. Nate, nobody's been hornier since they've gotten to LA. It's crazy, bro. Not in a fucking, not in a heterosexual horniness Look at it. Look at the glasses user

No, we're not using the same glass we got to show the truth bro and the shorts Free shorts, and I love them and I'm why you why you... Who gave them to you, your sugar daddy? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha bro, as soon as the plane landed he was like, when are we gonna dare? it was like, yo, yo i was fighting nate, i never knew you were on the water hello, this is sean gardini i just wanted to stop in to let you guys know that the guys had been drinking a lot during this episode

not that there's anything wrong with that but i just wanted to clarify that because there's going to be a handful of edits. So we just wanted to say we're sorry about that, but we still think you'll enjoy the episode. Well, we hope you'll enjoy the episode. And yeah, that's about it. So back to the show.

That's good. And yeah, that's about it so back to the show Matt's Matt's cooped up I'm completely over Fox Anderson Cooper. I'm CIA asset Anderson Cooper Vanderbilt fully Vanderbilt right now. You're Vandy. Dude, three spicy margaritas will turn you into a Vanderbilt asset. Three margaritas. Here's the topic of the day.

Here's the thing we need to focus on. Let's get down to business. Let's talk brass tats. We were hanging out at the pool earlier and we watched a boy. Oh! 69 with his mom Yo, that was for real like disturbing. It was crazy. There was I wasn't I don't even I I don't want to assume any ethnicity there

What would you have guessed? No, it was I I don't have to guess I literally saw it was a Middle Eastern boy some type of That kid you're you're being generous with eight. That kid was... 12. 10. Not 12, not 12, not 12. I think he might have been close to 10, dude. He was big, he was like six.

Nine, bro. He was like six five. He wasn't double ditched. He wasn't double, he was still in the Garden of Eden. He was humping his mom. He was, he didn't, it was on her. We were, that was on her. Obviously, that was nuts. We were at the pool today, and there was I literally I had a I had a reference grok

I was like grok is it cool I? Asked rock No, for real there was a kid today at the pool. This is this is brass tacks. This is brass tacks We were at the pool today. We were chillin. We're just recouping. We're chillin Having some fucking pina coladas out of a coconut Virgin pina coladas so fucking end of the day virgin pina coladas we got they were Boozled big time they would they had such low alcohol content that another group of dudes came over and were like Yo, you guys fucked up and we're like no we're like we aren't either

We've been chugging these pina coladas. No one is fucked up, but I'll tell you was fucked up that giant titted mom And I'm not gonna You know those are class your cultures. That was a culture class really it was a it to be fair We're at the pool. There was a culture clash. For real, it was, to be fair, we're at the pool, there was a Middle Eastern lady, and she had her maybe nine-year-old son of Remy and Generous, like rapidly humping her leg.

And we all had to sit there. Switching positions. He was switching positions. I think that kid invented sex. He literally invented sex. Enough that other groups, everybody else at the pool was making eye contact. Come on. It was fucked up.

Bro, you seen this? It was. And then everyone kind of looked over it and his mom was laying, swear to God, legs spread on a fucking folding chair while the sun was smashing, bro. Humping your leg, humping. Like literally up and down

Rock rock was like grock was like in Middle Eastern culture. I asked rock as a grock What's up with this? Why is it like a thing of Middle Eastern cultures with the mom is there like a thing that I'm missing as? Like a you know European guy And grock was like yeah, they're a little more like fluid in terms of like affection But if you see something that triggers your like sensibilities you should report it to the staff I was like I'm not gonna tell the lady who's bringing us margaritas that a Middle Eastern boy is humping his mom The whole staff was Persian they would have been You're saying Middle Eastern culture is for use

That's honestly No, but I Didn't want to be a cultural and peel it. I didn't want to be a cultural imperialist I don't know like hey what I do is what you should do But I also I was like grock isn't it kind of universal that like if you're don't hump your mom if you have a boner from your mom Isn't that universally frowned upon and grock was like dude if you see something troublesome talk to the staff And I was like hit talk to the big titty latina. That's serving me drinks

Well, you said it grok Honey it was grok Rock told me to talk to her. No it was thrilled. No it was really like troubling my heart. I was like this isn't right This kid the mom was laying first of all the way the mom was laying I was like this is crazy mom was laying without a boy hump that would have been that was enough that would have been crazy That was that was enough for like How about a towel dude tbh your pussy was out? Mayor

It wasn't out, but y'all saw mom pussy this morning? Yes, you were too busy. Ass up. Swimming like a fucking shrimp, dude. Nate. I was giving it my best. You swim like a shrimp. You are the craw daddy. Nate was swimming. Nate swims like this.

This is his ass. That's how he floats through the water. It's like Jaws. Yeah, you see his face. You see how he floats through the water. He tries. It's like Jaws. You see Nate's ass, you go, dun-dun, dun-dun, dun-dun. The Finn's out. We probably should be actually a little quiet.

Yeah. It's late here. It's late. Dude, we're just in Beverly Hills. We're just in the Pink Pony Club. Pink Pony Club. My daughter's by the Pink Pony Club. We're just in the pink pony. We're in the pink pony club pink pony club My daughter my daughter's love that song I can't be like guys. I know you love a song. I know you love single lyrics, but you know it's about

Yeah, anyway this episode of Matt and Shane secret podcast is brought to you by dude wipes Have you left poop streaks in someone else's toilet? Yeah, every time. Yeah, every single time. Yeah, I did it all week. It's a fucking disaster. I left a, I mean I literally painted my bowl this morning. Yeah. It was crazy. There's nothing wrong with that. No, it felt great. Paint job. Do you ever pack extra underwear when you travel?

How much extra? Do you ever need it? Pretty much an extra pair per day. Yeah, I always bring extra underwear yeah yeah yes I'm fucking shitting my pants constantly you guys getting out here do you wipe standing or sitting down does it make a difference what is going on dude how horny are these they want to know there's got to be something about standing up though I'm a stand-up wiper honestly sitting down. I just smears I don't know I can't do it well Matt whichever way you wipe It's time to show your be whole some respect and upgrade to dude wipes dude wipes tackle the mess without any fuss and the flushable

Design makes clean up a breeze they leave no room for dingleberries or stray butt crumbs that TP might miss plus they're extra large and designed for adults so no so no more endless rolls or Settling for a less than perfect wipe dude wipes best clean pants down Available these guys are really funny Amazon. It's available on Amazon and at major retailers nationwide guys We're just in we're in California having a good time also They would get in the pool and Gavin Newsom's around on his bonk ass Having a good time also they would get in the pool and Gavin Newsome's rauners bonk ass No, we do we're in the frattler he would kiss her they were kissing no frill while he was wrapped around her Was it was it like lips kisser? No, it was like it was enough. They were

They were kissing so much that I was like is he special needs yes, I thought I was like Maybe I'm an asshole made this kid is severely special needs. I heard him fucking talking He was like fucking Dodgers looking great He's like god damn this guy's 38 years old Dodgers fucking lost the series of the body This guy's 38 years old No, we really did we sat in a pool today, we're just having a nice quiet time chilling It was a very nice quiet time and there was a kid like literally not not figuratively literally humping his mother and we all to sit by the pool and be like you just got a swam We got to adapt we got to just this is what you know this is what we're doing now

So we get down if they if that was and if that if that was a honky family. I was said yo, yeah What the fuck are you two done? Yeah? Never seen anything like this in my life. It was crazy man You're gonna write earlier about handling business About the whole situation. Yes. Yes. I'm not gonna bring anything From a 40 and from a 40 in perspective absolutely Freudian It was so intense that it led us into a discussion about how gay Freud is. And we were like Freud must have been in a pool like this once.

I mean like everyone wants to do that because everyone did want to do that. Everyone watched him float around with his Gigantic Iranian babe mom I mean hello a threat No, no to paint the picture to be totally fair The kids mom was hot as fuck it was it was undeniable the kids mom She had a fucked-up face though. She had a full-on cat face She had the bimbo build so hold on all women are not all women But a lot of women are going completely artificial. She was a hit a cyborg by hitting a I am on

You know I'm on fake rock mom fake tits a face of it. Yeah, here's the thing we didn't have to deal with croc moms Imagine if your mom had lip fillers if your mom had all you know your mom was you know upgrades what are you gonna do you're a boy you're a boy attaching to supernova stimuli I was obsessed with my mom anyway that's I'm saying and she was just hello we can say that my mom knows I'm joking for sure she knows we classic moms Yeah, these eight-year-old is potentially ten-year-old boys are dealing with moms Who are under the knife and moms under the knife Pornhub and then? grok mom

It's not his fault and grok mom's also willing to let you rub her inner thigh Yes, we saw that rubbing the inner thigh No, it was true. That's that's an odd thing. We're not exactly it for real would have been disgusting if it was a Adult couple yes, you're right man. It's fucking yellow. It's like yo for real get a room get a room It was get a room status. I think she would have let us get in there Unfortunately, that was thought that was torturing me the whole day Well, Mary that's the excitement about the whole thing Yeah, let's go let's go asset for asset for this eight-year-old boy

Gosh shit, yeah, we might be breaking even on that The whole time let me upgrade Mr.. Steele girl coming in God. I noticed how much you were hugging your son. How would you like to try that with an adult man? Weirder huh yeah, let's raise the bar, mama. You're the boy with the go to bed. There's no way we got this. This is fine that we haven't seen anything bad. Yeah, you are the crawl daddy, though. I've never seen anyone swim more like a scrimp,

but you never see the level of you swim like a frill. I was worried I thought Bubba Gumb gonna know thanks was back to back with Bubba going imagine what you do with this Nate dude they use shrimp I fried shrimp Nate how your ass come up higher than I had you know no I don't want to say my way but I think my ass is boy it it is not it's not it's not we've had to be boy we've had a discussion about this you have developed an unc that you've on you've on down into a dog ass although I was born this way I don't know dude I think it's an African American high sodium diet his ass flies His ass was like a Spanish sail. He's a man o' war. He literally looks like a Portuguese man o' war.

and PC optimum points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. He tried to push off the wall one of the times he took off. One of the things, Nate doesn't use his legs to swim. So his legs go straight and they just float immediately. He took off from the wall, he pushed off from the wall, his legs immediately almost went, he scorpioned out on a push off. That's aerodynamic.

It's not. Yeah, it's, no, there's no way that is. You're a poor swimmer, but that's all right. You, eventually you conquered it and won. I mean, that was kind of amazing. That was awesome. That was awesome. No one believed in me when I pulled that off.

Everybody believed in you. The whole time, we were like, bro, for real, you can do it. It's also not the first time an entire pool centered around your swimming activities everybody loves No one believes in me The way the reason I know no one believes in me is because what I submerged with the other size I got an applause break from the entire pool which was that happens everybody was hyped. Yeah We were excited you achieved your potential.

It's like, what's that movie with Kubey Goody Jr., the radio? I'm radio. I'm a special needs guy. Yo, radio, when you wear shorts for real, you look retarded. I've never seen anything like this. I've never seen you in shorts.

Bro, you fucking keep wearing pants. This is crazy Crazy what you're up to No, we all agree for it. Yeah council. Yeah, yeah beat ups count. You gotta wear pants You gotta wear pants. This is too much. I also agree. This is too much even yeah for real as to use that's in this short as shit and you're wearing Jordans with them and it looks there's like a girl lower half just with hairy legs this is all I had. I would have smelled like shit in this room if I didn't put on these free

shorts. This is. You got to work out your legs. Oh, that's the nice. I got good quads. I can't do that. You know, you have your flexing fucking wheelchair, fucking leg. You literally I've never seen these legs and I see why.

You got those Jim Jones, bro You got capo legs I want to show the cast but they're gonna disappoint me Not the camera, yeah show us Do not show them anything No, and you're black. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Come on. If you were white that'd be fine Five seven, that's no excuse. I told you not to give him anything. I'm five six I'm in no position to criticize anyone's body, but.

Now your calves are, hold on, hold on. Let's not get like a straight. Your calves are crazy. Yeah, there's a big fat guy. You do get jacked calves. Yeah, the support columns, for real. The support columns are out of control. Like if I went down, people would be like, it's fake. The support comms are too strong.

It's literally impossible. They tried to blow it up in 93. Literally impossible. This is a good, you know what, fuck them. Hit them with just a full drunk podcast. Fucking see what happens. The ESP's last night, big hit for the boys. That was huge, no for real, that was huge.

That was a turning point. Yeah, I keep doing that thing where I pretend I'm extremely nervous. I really wasn't that nervous. Cool as a cucumber. Same like SNL. Dude, I hit the hello right up top. Hello. No man, it was for always.

The only thing that makes me nervous is doing corny stuff. Yeah. That's when I get nervous. Like when I walk out there and you see the teleprompter and it's like, it's incredible to be around so many amazing athletes here like I can't read that No without being like

That's your blazing sword of truth People mistake it for just being totally inept which They there's something There's something there that's haters, bro There's something there. That's haters, bro. It was, hold on, time out. Was it inept? It wasn't.

It was not inept. It was a multi-dimensional performance. Thank you, brother. Come on, man. Get the fuck out of here. I was so happy to get Britney on there. So nice. And I will say this, and this is just,

I wanna say this publicly. For sure. When I saw the videos of you laughing, meant the world to me. That's like genuinely support. Like how nice is that to see your boy laughing like that? Yeah, yeah. When you're like, damn.

It was unbridled joy. Damn, he loves me. Yes, yes. For real though. When we started doing the joke, I exited frame because I was holding my face. I can't keep it together. And when the whole room of people bought in

to Brittany being a four time WNBA champion. It's first of all, is there, has anyone done that? I'm sure. Four time? In the WNBA, I'm sure there's some chicks that have been for real like several. Yeah. Yeah. WNBA, I'm sure there's some chicks that have been, for real, like several. Yeah, Deanna Taurasi was probably. Four times.

Fucking like 20 times. Lisa Leslie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were probably since the inception of the league. Yeah, for sure. Twin Towers. Twin Towers. They probably had a million LeBrons, like, for the WNBA.

No, but the NBA has that too. Yeah What do you mean since like whenever the WNBA really started? Till now the NBA also probably has had that many times all-stars like Kevin Durant like That's my thing. I have no beef with the women sports, but it's like be real if you like them like them But don't pretend to be like, oh yeah, I know who that person is. That was the funniest part of it, people being like, yeah, for sure.

You could have hit them with a couple other sports. You could have been like, 10-time All-Star, NHL legend, Matt McCusker, and they would have been like, for sure. McCusker, Gretzky, yeah, Gretzky, McCusker and they would have been like for sure Cusker Gretzky yeah Gretzky mccusker You get an HL, but it yeah WNBA the only reason to make fun of WNBA was yet like ESPN and All the all these they've they've been pushing You know I mean they do the SP's converted me. I was like I love women's sports now. Yeah, I watched the SP's

I was like yeah I love women's sports now. I watched the SPs, I was like, yeah, women's sports fucking rule. I was raised on women's sports. You were. And I gotta tell you guys, I fucking loved women's basketball. I know. I was a water boy for a women's basketball team. I loved women's basketball my whole life.

Who can say the same? I doubt anybody. How many other dudes' dads are still coaching women's basketball? I think Phil might have five state championship rings. He might be the Phil Jackson of volunteer assistant girls' high school basketball coaches. He's Gino Oriyema. He really is.

And he'll tell you, my dad watches women's basketball a lot. He'll be like, what the fuck are you watching? He's like, it's a better sport. It's pure. And there, what the fuck are you watching? He's like, it's a better sport. It's pure. And there is an argument within basketball periods. Now obviously it's not better. They're not dunking.

But as far as like the NBA has become one-on-one matchups. It's become just isolation one-on-one. WNBA you have to pass and move. Team sport. Yeah, I'm not trying, I'm not fucking coming for the WNBA. But I will say this. Hello.

The fuck was that? All right, whatever. No, I was full comfort. Last night I was like, I actually was like, I love women's sports, it's important that women can do their thing, but tricking people into thinking that they're like, just just the here's my thing. It's the reflexive like non-questioning clap Yeah, it's the it's really wasn't a solid on the unthinking masses. That's the important part people go

Oh, yeah, for sure. It's like dude. Just use your brain use your critical thinking for two seconds ago. Wait, who was who's I? Would have clapped. I never heard of that person. I knew they would clap. I would have clapped Yes, anybody on earth would clap. I would have clapped. Yes. Anybody on earth would clap. But it's funny to go, ah, you guys are fucking all alive. Also, I've gotten so old, I don't know who anyone is. I, for real,

Flawjay, Flawjay? Flojay. Flojay. Yeah, she raps. They told me I was wrong and it was Flawjay. Flawjay? I said Flojay after being told 10 and it was Flawj. I said Floj, after being told 10 times it was Flawj. But Buster Ryan said Floj too.

I think me and Buster are old as shit. Buster Buss. Dude, don't get me started on him. Don't get me started on him. I was beef with him. He kissed my wife's hand. Buster Ryan, but although, that's being a gentleman for sure, I can't with him. He kissed my wife's hand. Buster Ryan, but although, that's being a gentleman for sure.

I can't deny that. Hold on, how about in the green room, you hear Buster, I hear Buster Ryan's outside the green room, like, I'm not going in there unless he invites me. It's a man's. And I was like, I overheard that. And I was like, fucking definitely invited me.

Get the fuck in. Fucking Buster Ryan. That's nice as hell though. His, that is nice. His performance too was for real like, I overheard that and I was like fucking definitely invited me to hit the fucking fucking bus around His yeah, it's nice his performance too was for real like yeah unbelievable It was unbelievable. He demanded the crowd get active Which was very nice come because I would say commanded Yes, I would say he commanded the crowd and then he did try to command Your wife and your wife was a good faithful soldier.

She was. But now Busta Rhymes, for real, can do no wrong in my eyes. His performance was so good. He kissed my wife's hand. He's being a gentleman. He was me. He was being a gentleman.

I was mad at him for like 15 minutes. I was going, for real, if I see Busta Rhymes, I might try to fight him. But then I thought of his performance and I was like, it was so fucking good. Yes, Spliff star I was like dude. He's so it was great. It was really it was just a celebration of life The whole night was a celebration of real. It was a celebration for what? The one person laughing my entire monologue was Buster Rhymes

And while I was out there. I kept like looking over to be like yes I don't care how badly this is going to see a buster rhymes. I Know he fucking absolutely crushed it. I mean he did it was so good I was like if you got to kiss my wife's hand that's fine. That's totally kissing the wife's hand is totally fine It's also gentlemanly bro. We've talked about before remember that autistic man Saw my my girlfriend at a bar and was like The pleasure is all mine. It's all he did like fuck

It's all that's my bro who he's my he's my buddy and he's got it for real. He's not like he's not a pretending See Big Bang Theory and go wouldn't it be cool if I had autism Also, I don't think you're rap that fast I'd have a little bit of the tism. Yeah, so yeah, totally totally cool He's thrilled them absolute legend Remember what Nate did the Brittany Brittany had a night. Oh mate was rude Britney. Nate was absolute, well to be fair I did throw. I threw napkins on your head, that was my bad. I said that all. I was really hoping we didn't bring that up.

That bums me out. No that was a perfectly logical reaction. It was, I was defending LaMare but it does b- I know you're trying to tell a story but the shorts. Are so fucked up looking. You look fucked up, dude. It's your legs. They're so hairy. It's so fucked up.

This is all I had. I'm trying to smell like shit. We'll leave tomorrow. To be totally honest and frank, it's kind of like a thought from the hood, dude. Just fucking legs, those legs and those J's bro. Black J's with no. Nate, how many bands would it take for you to dance right now? For real.

Nate, if I took you to rainbow tomorrow Fly home first class Anyway the squad the squad is what did it dude LaMare dress like a complete done Oh, wait, hold on tell that story cuz that is extremely funny No, it's great. It's great All right, so what happened was? so what happened was We were just sitting out back smoking having a good time

Just me and Lamar Lamar by herself at the after party and then a paper ball hold on I knocked on the fence I didn't hear that I knocked on the fence and I was going, what are you guys doing over there? I'd never heard that. I know, that's all me. They were hanging out with Pat McAfee and Jelly Roll. Yeah, yeah. But they had left at this point.

It was just me. It was just us two back there, right? It was Sean and the... You guys are such... Sean and the... Okay, I think it was just you two. It was just you two. Such climbers, you guys are climbers.

No, we weren't in the back. They came out after us. We were sucking each other up back then. Wait, what? Holy shit. Yo. Thank you, LaMare. Yo. Thank you, LaMare, I needed that. I needed somebody to take me off of me. Hold on, he's talking.

LaMare's the ultimate bro. He's pared me back for last night. Why are your feet like that? What are you doing? My feet? You're pigeon toed, bro. All you're telling stories is you're going like, I'm actually pigeon toed.

I swear to God, you're going like this while you're talking. I'm actually pigeon toed, bro. All you're telling stories is you're going like, I'm actually pigeon toed. I swear to God, you're going like this while you're talking. I'm actually pigeon toed. It's really fucking crazy. I know we were joking earlier about you being zesty as soon as you got to LA. Nate is thick and bow-legged, bro. Nate is a fucking hood prize, bro. Oh, no.

No. When I see you in shorts like that, it's like, yo, he is definitely a black dude from fucking Redding. Like, you could see him on Frankford F. You would see this guy walking down the street. Nate, can I see you blow bubble gum and pop it real quick? Oh, this is dope. Nate, we're just having fun. Nate, we're having fun. A little more vodka.

A little more vodka, please. Give him a different cup. There's no good cups down there. LaMare, pour from the sump. LaMare needs a little more. LaMare, fill up a sump cup. Well, that's his cup. Yeah, true. It's only good morning guys go Lamar Phil Basimp cup What I said? Yeah true Yeah, hold on. Let's let's hold on. Let's let's actually go 360 on this

So we're so we're at we're at the after we're at the after party We're at the after party and we're sitting there. It was a giant fence Lamar and Nate were smoking weed behind the fence. I heard them back there I smelled what they were doing knocked on the fences. What are you guys doing back there? No answer so I took all the tissues in my pocket from all night I had 40 tissues in my pocket, and I threw them over the fence like a fool They all landed on the mayor's head just luck in the draw You sunk my battle ship. You know, 100% sunk my battle ship.

I guess. I was like, F7, F7. That's perfect battle ship. Toss him over, sunk LaMare, and Nate, honestly, was pretty admirable. It was me going full bro. Yep. LaMate, or LaMate, LaMate. Excuse me, sorry about that.

Nate, stick into the bro code, go LaMate. LaMate. Because LaMare went, what was that? LaMare was pissed. Yeah. LaMare, I was already pissed about you calling him simp, but he goes, LaMare pissed off, understandably,

there was a bunch of fucking tissues, I don't know what I did in these, they were snotted up, I fucking threw them over the head. LaMare goes, what the fuck, and Nate goes, and LaMare- And they were used? Yeah, for sure. And then, it could've been pizza grease, I don't know.

They hit this so heavy, they were dense when they hit LaMare. I didn't know. It is so heavy. They were dead I didn't think about a crystallizer. It's not I never thought about how loud we must be outside We're so high up. We're so high up. We're so high other rooms other rooms Maybe I'm fucking so Mayor gets fucking tissue everyone goes to bed in LA at 9 p.m. Yeah, what is that? There's city is sucks sucks as an avid drinker La Sucks wake up. What's down for an alcoholic?

Wake up. I'm more of a buffalo guy. Yeah, but it was great for real Well, you go fucking fucking well snowing again 3 a.m. Get a singer bitch. We gotta get blacked out to be fair Oh, that's no other choice exactly. That's what I mean. I like that's why I like Dublin you go to a city where they're like Yeah, it's fucking raining again You know yeah, yeah, yeah, he's hiking Yeah, that's bullshit fucking by the way can these people stop hiking? Shut up about hiking hi Hiking's kinda nice. Yeah, we built civilization so you didn't have to hike.

Wearing those shorts. Talking to me about hiking. By the way, Nate, you've never gone fucking hiking. I have. What was your biggest hike? I don't have a distance to it. But it was. Walking outside doesn't count.

He took three come walks. You don't like, dude, obviously you don't fucking. I used to hike. I used to hike a jersey. Where'd you like? Are you talking about walking dogs? No, no, I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no mean no now all the time, but no he's rocking that doesn't count for rocking Having having an eighth an ounce of come on your fucking Way's you death No You were understands can we bring it all back to the fact that we're celebrating life we're celebrating life It's just a celebration of celebration of life, dude. It's it's I mean

We're celebrating life. This is just a celebration of life. Celebration of life, dude. It's, I mean, what an ambiguous phenomenon life is. You get hung up on, you know, some fun jokes at the ESPYs. You're literally missing the point. We're having fun. Which brings me to the next point, dude, the view. I wish I was watching the view.

I know we're having fun right now. I just wish John Hamm. I wish I was watching the View. I know we're having fun right now. I just wish Jon Hamm. I wish I was watching The View so that I could understand comedy the way Joy Behar does. You know, hilarious comedian Joy Behar? What was that one joke she told that everyone likes? Never once ever? But no, I get it. They didn't like it. It wasn't for them it was like

they liked it I would have been like oh that sucked you are will be good it's literally not for the ladies that are view like literally it's specifically designed for them to go I didn't like it crazy they never have like any kind of like you know what actually I kind of saw the nuance in it. It's just like, you know what I mean? Yeah. They're here to not like things. Yeah, but like why though?

You gotta ask yourself. No, but they love like Hamilton. Hamilton sucks. I will say, I will say, hold on, time out. He is whoopee. Time out. I did cry, I cried at the end of Hamilton. I'll be honest.

I cried at the end of Hamilton, I did. Fellas, of Hamilton. I did fellas if I suck my son died, dude If I saw my son died if I saw Hamilton live, I would fucking love it. I Have no doubt in my mind if I saw Hamilton if I went in there going to fucking bullshit this shit talks Five minutes into Hamilton. I'd be gone These guys are great. These guys are great. He told his son to not ever give up, and his son entered a duel and he died,

and he goes, that's all me. His son died, and that's his guilt he had to carry. And isn't it ironic that he died the same way? Yeah, it's fucked up. Well, it's all just, you know, it's just true. Aaron Burr, sir. Yeah, I remember him. Yeah, Burr it's all just, you know, it's just true. Aaron Burr, sir. Yeah. Never. Yeah. Bird dropped his ass.

They say, what do you say, pussy? Shut the fuck up. Who played Burr in the play? Please tell me a little white guy played. Damn, that was funny. The one white guy. Freeze. What's your fucking hands up! I learned a lot about your bro Lafayette from the Hamilton.

Yeah, Lafayette. He was a beast in the Hamilton. He is the bro. He was great. Him and Hamilton were bros. They were both like adopted sons of George Washington. It was pretty sick. I never saw the gay play, but.

They said Hamilton's from Puerto Rico. He was from the Caribbean for sure. And his mom was like a. His mom was a whore. No, he was the bastard orphan of a son of a whore, yeah. Well his mom was married to a guy and then apparently, I don't, there was something that went on with him

and his mom like split off and left the guy and then got pregnant by another guy Prostitute from Puerto Rico No, I think I Could be wrong, but I think it's a like an American folktale that he was from such rags to riches Which American history loves to do that there? Yeah, Abraham Lincoln's from a of Gavin, which I think he actually was, but so is fucking everybody. Yeah, LeBron James is a poor 15 year old, you know? Like, same story.

He wasn't? Was he not poor? He was definitely poor. He was not a poor 15 year old. I think he was definitely a poor kid from acting. He was in one of those schools where they're like stealthily giving you money. Yeah, eventually, once they found out

he was fucking Once he jumped over the hoop of a fucking yeah. Yeah, they go. Here's a fucking car Yeah, that's yeah Doesn't yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm pretty sure LeBron did it. Yeah, once you jump over a kid in high school They're like, yeah, whatever you want. Whatever you do You do have to give LeBron that credit he jumped so high that fucking buildings got constructed he's that guy he jumped so high they build a school they're like yeah all right well we got a fun to Akron another zipper factory shut down, but they got this new fucking kid that's dunking

Ran back NAFTA. They're like, all right, we got a cut we got a man some of that don't You know my triggers Don't bring up NAFTA. My bad, my bad, my bad. Especially when we're talking about Akron. True. Invented the zipper, bro. They should still be making zippers.

When you say, oh, they invented the zipper itself. The zipper. I'm talking about the Carnival Ride. I don't know if they, well, they might've. Carnival Ride is sick, bro. We invented every Carnival Ride. Dude, I went on a Ferris wheel with my kids recently and I was like they're like, this is crazy I was like you guys should go on the zipper. You have no idea nuts

Imagine if the imagine if you're on a ferris wheel and it fucking did a full revolution They're like how peaceful and serene this ferris wheel is Imagine fearing for your life How come how come theme park rides aren't that scary? Then you get on a fucking plane and you're like, holy shit Dude my when I was when I was maybe five or six years old My parents brought me on the big bad wolf and bush gardens in Virginia. I've been on that I remembered you never remember being six years old and being like here comes the water

I'm going to die next to my dad and mom. And they just laughed at me and I was like, I'm terrified for my life. You should have grabbed your mom's inner thigh and grinded her. What the fuck was that? I should have alerted the staff. Grock told me, they're like, yo, if you're uncomfortable, alert the staff.

Be discreet about it, but be okay. I wouldn't have listened to Grock lately. Yeah, true. Grock's on one. True, true, true, true true true true. Rock was probably like fucking get him out Probably wait who's in the bull it does suck if you spend like you know seven billion dollars building an AI It's like actually Hitler was like alright. I shut it down god damn it try again Continues to be like yeah that whole thing was bullshit That is troublesome from an investment perspective I would be like alright guys. What are we doing here?

Yeah, who made this who did this? I don't know well Mary. What do you think about AI? The mayor loves a I'm weary of AI. You're weary. I Get I was thinking about how much I love the brun. Yeah for sure shout out Drake You know what yeah, this is an advertisement from better help the help with the better I've been so stressed with everything that is stressing me out at work yeah it's been stressful why's it been stressful for you there's just something going on in my personal life that's causing me anxiety crap lately hmm Matt has been stressing me out

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That's BetterHELP.com slash MSSP. Back to how much you love AI. AI's scary though. It's reaching the part of AI where it's transhuman. I disagree. I disagree. Here's the thing. The big difference is you were a punch out of the Espies and everyone was afraid to confront Shane because you look shame.

Subhuman is different than transhuman. Hold on. Wait, what? I may run a family program. What do you mean? Subhuman mutant people, subway guys, subway guys. What are you mean? Subhuman, mutant people, subway guys? Subway guys? What the fuck are you talking about? Just subhuman people. What do you mean subhuman? Subhuman, people who are below human.

I'm talking about AI. AI is transhuman. They're above human. I disagree. They can't feel, man. That's the defining characteristic of a human being is the capacity to feel You know what I mean? Like I I agree with you. That's super. It's super Google man. I That's all I'm trying to say I totally agree every time they're like, yeah, they're speaking a language. We don't know it's like yeah like

electricity, yeah Yeah, like the way their things are communicating Yeah, like the way that things are communicating, they're like, no, it's being like, I turned this switch on and it talks to the lamp and the lamp turns on. Yeah, AI wouldn't have its sensibilities that it has now. I know there's a lot of dorks listening to us that are fucking big into AI and I definitely, I feel like I am wrong on this, but there's something deep in my core I understand AI is gay. Can I? core I understand AI is gay. And I don't respect it.

AI is gay. But it's like, you know plants talk to each other? Yeah, which also I also, totally disagree with. It's because we can't like, They don't talk to each other. No they do, they talk, they talk, they talk. Yes, but the way we're using the word talk is wrong. They don't use language you. We know they do they talk they talk yes. Yes, the way we're using the word talk is

Wrong they don't use language for sure for sure yes But they excrete there's like a there's this tree chemicals. Yeah, that's the same way when a girl doesn't wear fucking deodorant at the bar It's like no, that's fucking dork shit that somebody else made up Some stinky bitch made that story of That's good science right there. No, it's not Plants are dumb as fuck dude any can come talk to me right now beat its fucking ass I read the secret life of pants I liked it

But you can totally chop them down at will and pull them out of the earth and go get the fuck out of my garden. Yeah, you go, what'd you just say, bitch? But that's the difference with AI. You chop them out the ground and the roots are deeper than you thought so it can come back. No, they're literally, you have to pull them.

I'll fucking turn this TV off, turn this TV off. Yeah, all you have to do is not spray them with water and they die. Shane, you've been saying- That was what I was trying to say to him and he was like, they can make themselves. I'm like, no, but they would have to use raw material. You've been saying you're going to unplug AI for years now.

I'm going to. You don't think you can access the mother frame? Unfortunately- It's too late to access the main frame. I predicted a lot of the things I was going to do. I'm going to turn it off. I got to stop saying it. Because eventually there's going to be a Terminator. I got to stop saying it

Just gonna be playing NCAA you need to turn that off no All you gotta do is focus your laser beam on the motherboard time Yeah, I'm gonna fire my eagle's gun. I'm gonna use my Philadelphia Eagle's assault rifle and go, no more computers. I'm just gonna say, I think like it's gonna eventually get hard to access the heart of AI, because it's gonna become a point where- No, dude, they're just servers.

They're just servers in a building. You blow them up. It's the internet, bro. Right now they are. It's a computer. And I know, I know, you're winning this argument, because what you're saying is what everybody is saying. I disagree, computers are gay, the internet is gay,

AI is gay. What's AI when it gets past just servers? They think it's a sci-fi movie where the internet is smart and wants to be alive. They really think that. We're teaching you how to compile information and talk back to us. Yeah, but what about the will to live?

It doesn't have the will to live. It does have a will to live. That's why we disagree. It's a reflection of the human spirit, bro. Remember that Google guy a couple months ago who came out and was like, it actually kinda wants to live. It wasn't a couple months ago. It was two years ago now.

There was a Google guy. I'd like to find out who he is. He's dead. Probably. Fucking better, baby. Probably killed himself. Yeah. Would you ask it, Nate?

I said, do you have the will to live? It says I don't experience life or death. So I don't have a will to live in the human sense. No fear, No desire no morality But I am here to help you as best like yeah, that's some slaves This email or we send an email or what it doesn't have it does not have the will to exist has will it's Inorganic LaMaria does not have the will to agree Project it wants to live as much as that lamp wants to live.

I agree with you. I asked Nate, he said, do you want to live? He says, I don't have once or feelings, so I don't want to live or not live. I exist to serve a purpose, helping you, answering questions. But if you're asking, but if you're asking because you're feeling something

or wrestling with a question for yourself, I'm here, we can talk. So it's like. It's very funny though to be that into sci-fi that you're like this thing's trick it would be all coy like that no there's a lot of people like losing themselves to like looking to AI for spiritual answers and it's like it's just a fuck it's Google dude you're getting literally tricked by Google the same way all of our parents get tricked by like fucking Nigerian princes on Craigslist.

It's the same thing. What'd it say? I'm about to hack Nate's AI real quick. If you guys get four questions, there's four questions you ask it, and then it goes, huh, maybe I am alive. All right. It's not alive, bro. I know, that's not a question for us to pose to it.

That's a question for it to pose to itself, though. Lamar. Lamar, yeah. Lamar, you are literally worse than Grok. It helps you send emails. AI has passed you That's a giant question for real that's a giant question if I have a fake job that AI can replace Then it's an issue in terms of like the striving to be

Totally talking yeah cards Exactly, but did that's what they say. He called it, bro. Who did? Descartes? Descartes. What about fucking Socrates being like, I think therefore I am. Don't bring up Socrates if you're not gonna

complete the question, bro. That's gonna really trigger my aim. I think therefore I am. What does AI do? It's not thinking, bro. It's reflecting human thought. Yes, Matthew. But that counts as thinking.

Doesn't that count as thinking? If you're a dumbass, yes. Bro, if you're gonna sign on the block. That's like saying a mirror can see that's what I'm yo Miracy, no, of course a mirror. No, you see a mirror If you're gonna sign ontological properties you're fucking AI bro, I'm gonna walk out of here right now I will fucking leave I'll be fucking splat McAfee I'll die. You're gonna jump fucking 17 I'm gonna say the view didn't really like my fucking monologue. I'm gonna kill myself

That's like saying a fucking tape measure experiences distance, bro. Come on exactly right come on man But who experiences distance more than the human beings bro How by walking? Sorry, it's our decision what distances exactly measures nothing It's literally however we decipher distance is distance, but it's a tape the tape measures literally a measure of distance. Yes, bro It's a reference point for us Don't experience it for the reference sir. Oh man, man, man. You got me fired up. Thank you man. I love what you're saying. Thank you man. I gotta be honest, I felt so good about that mirror comment. Thank you man. I felt so good. And Tim Horton's fruit crunchers have something for every mood So choose from a variety of fruity flavors in sparkling frozen or lemonade order yours on the Tim's app today at participating restaurants in Canada for a limited time

Don't deny your own divine status to a fucking computer man, that's pathetic bro What would what would what would the leaders of the church say about you being like? Matt do not bring up God Say about that dude, I don't believe in shit Catholic believing You're doomed You will serve Satan. Yeah, for real. Well, there you can I cry I'm a non-denominational Christian You might as well fucking I go to white acoustic guitar church you go to unitarian bullshit. Yo, no, no, no trans flag church

You know, whatever that's fine Translates churches out there That's fine with that. That's fine. I will say that I kinda fuck with Mega Church. I fuck with Mega Church. Mega Church is sick. Everyone hates Mega Church. Met.

Bro, imagine church but mega. Met. Met. On paper I hear what you're saying. Imagine if church was more mega, which is for real what they were saying in 1200 building cathedrals. Go on, dude, imagine if this church was fucking mega.

Build the sickest building anyone's ever seen. And jam. And jam. Dude, when Michelangelo built the 16th chapel, he was like, stop with the Michelangelo built the 16 chapel Shut up about AI dude don't even know words I Will say this hold I will say this if you ask the desert fathers They did have a prophecy saying like look what we're doing in the fourth century is sick We're walking away from the Roman Empire, but people in the future are gonna deal with a society

Just like way more decadent way more corrupt and the people who turn from that Will be the true desert fathers and they will be the most spiritually enriched people Way more than we could ever dream to be that's a prophecy from the desert fathers, bro I'd like to go back in time and punch the desert. I would like to, if I build, a lot of people are like, if I had a time machine I would kill Hitler. Not me. I would land in the desert fathers tent and go,

I'm from the future, dude, you guys are fucking being gay as shit. being gay as shit. Beat their fucking where them the fuck out. So I ran out of nowhere. Exploding through a tent wall. Over the future. I drank 10 grams of creatine today. I got shit face at Beverly Hills

You fucking dumbass you have no idea what I'm dealing with I fucking hosted the ESPYs last night It's just more sure hello I Just want hello The desert fathers would have no fucking clue what no concept Now they can shut the fuck up doesn't others can shut the no dude. There's only one dude. It's Christ true for real This is these fools desert fathers will agree with you. They would say we're pale and comparison Yeah, but they have no idea what's coming They didn't that's why that guy said it Go dude Hershey Park is gonna have the great bear That's her father would take your punch and he go you're right

You go fuck dude St. Anthony, bro Does her father was he I'm pretty sure that's pretty sick. Yes But your point does obviously the desert fathers rock I take it back they literally dude in the fourth century They were like they sat in the desert They went the shit's gonna get so much crazier dude hats off to the guys now. It's fun nine million years from now Yeah, I got a deal with only fans personally. I think That's a waste of a

life it is the seclude to pull yourself away not completely but to pull yourself away and concern yourself with a possible future that seems like a waste of it's fair what Christ the King was giving us Jesus Christ was completely embroiled in the current yeah standard of his time unlike the Buddhists who detach Detach Christ didn't detach he fully went into that's my whole thing is first way I disagree man I think Christ was more of a futurist. He was more protecting the people you're agreeing with me What are you talking about Christ instead of detaching from society you you went head on into it and they fucking killed him for that. By the way, this is exactly what everyone else heard

when fucking Hunter Biden was in one of these hotel rooms. So you're agreeing with me? The Desert Fathers were right. Christ the King was coming in. We should smoke crack. We should get some crack, dude. I'm telling you Hollywood change the squad Fuck LA

Crack who knows with his squads not built for LA. We gotta get the fuck out Maybe gay You were short shorts, bro. That's what happened. We don't tell a game. We're smoking crack Disgusting you fucking fat ass hanging out the back Who gave you those short shorts, you know, you can see me Nate the stallion Nate, let me see your bike at bro The fucking crawl daddy Nate the stallion Nate let me see your thigh gap bro The fucking crawl daddy Nate the stallion Bro you just floated with your fat ass in front of everyone all day at the pool

It was nothing new with the water bro. Nate I'll be honest. I'm surprised you made it out of the espies live I saw Lamar Jackson licking his lips I saw Lamar Jackson licking his lips. Russell Wilson was about to leave Sierra when he saw your fucking thick ass walk down the red carpet. We gotta get out of here. We're gonna leave. We're going back to God's country tomorrow. We gotta get out early.

This place is full of sin. We're back in we're going back to God's country We're back in Texas man, we got a silver pie going straight as hell and not shirtless constantly Texas is gays what I haven't seen Texas is gay than LA. I'll say Texas fair. That's It's fair, that's fair. Wait, why? I'm sure not the rest of the state. A lot of guys showing off. Austin is a gayer version of. There is equally as many shirtless guys in Austin as there is down there. No, I haven't seen one shirtless guy here. I've seen a couple. I'm sure you've seen a bunch.

Nate's looking for him, Nate's looking for him. Yeah, he went. I'm not looking for him, I mean, we've been walking. You went down, I know where you went. I haven't left. Nate was dancing the pink pony We talked about last time the last time I see I got a haircut here in West Hollywood Those fellas put their dong on me. Yeah fully molested bro. I the guy stood between me and the mirror and lifted my chin up

Don't fuck I Mean the guy was a great guy and we had a nice time You know I felt like we had a connection can I be on it can I be can I? Can I share right now? Recently so I my wife before the SP she she was in panic mode, getting everything done, nails, all that stuff. She goes, hey, can you bring Maya and Chloe to the nail salon with me? I said, for sure, I brought them there.

I'll be honest, I'm gonna share. I got a fucking pedicure while I was there. Bro, my feet, I tried to tell my wife, my feet are so erogenous. Brother, pedicure is nice. They're nice, bro. Bro, my feet for real are my dick. The lady was like fucking fully stroking my feet

and I was sitting there in front of my whole family going mmm. You're Freud, by the way, you're Freud. You are Freud. I'm not Freud, I'm young. Hold on, hold on, I'm young. No, I'm more of a young, I'm young. You're Freud, I'm young. I'm Freud. You. I'm young. No, no, no, no.

I'm more of a young, I'm young. You're Freud, I'm young. You're Freud. You're Freud. What do you think controls people? Instinct or? Hold on, not sexual instinct. What other instinct?

Just instinct. Towards violence? Like what is it? What else is there? You're nature or you're nurture? I'm Freud. No, sorry. I'm young.

You're Freud. No, no. That was a Freudian slip. Oh, no, sorry. I'm your Freud's no, that's a Freudian slip Well, I can go get a fucking pedicure and I go I can't bro. I literally cannot my you scribe you ascribe pleasure to sexual pleasure instantly very Freudian You were my feet Very Freudian. What? My feet are erogenous. I can't help it. The way I was built. It felt nice the way the woman was It felt.

Shaving your feet. Too nice, bro. You instantly equated it to your penis getting shrunk. Very Freudian. No, dude, it literally is. My feet are so right. I told my wife, I said. Fuck Young, fuck Freud.

Young? Fuck Young, dude. Young shows up't fucking toss Tosses fucking bitch ass over this balcony Fuck you launch Freud and throw young Freud did Freud by a mile Freud Freud Freud is troublesome Freud needs to get splatted Freud needs to get splatted on college game day. On college game day.

Splat his ass and then have everyone go, oh, I'm ready for the big football game. Who gives a fuck about what you're talking about, you dumb bitch? You guys are having full rabbit season, duck season right now. Huh? You know that little Looney Tunes?

Rabbit season, duck season, rabbit season, duck season. He's Freud. I'm looney tunes rabbit season duck season rabbit season duck see he's fruit I'm not for it your duck season. I'm young. I'm young maybe Adler. That's Adler can get it too It's on site with Adler Adler you bitch Not for it all like any psychologist bullshit That's fair. I'd yeah, honestly, that's fair psychology as a science is up for question Yeah, I get I feel about CBT. What's that?

They're the guys that are like if you have troublesome thoughts write them down in a journal and be like why do I think this I? Be here. I hear the I literally couldn't disagree more. If you write down your troublesome thoughts, if I catch you writing down your troublesome thoughts, that's a fucking huge problem. So you got beef with Skinner. Skinner can get it. Who are these fucking weird freaks?

What about Maslow? Peak experiences, human beings. I do like peak experiences. All right, here we go. You might be a Maslonian. Yeah, but. Maslow peak experiences human beings like peak here we go you might be a mazlonean Yeah, but Maslow rules think of our modern-day These guys yeah, they're all gay. That's the guy with the dogs right no mavela Skinner have dogs No Pavlov Pavlov his dogs, but Skinner was a continuation of Pavlov As a parallel process which was what a what an incredible experience You know torture dogs. Yeah, he tricked dogs. Yeah, great. I was jerking off dogs for seven years turns out No, they were they were like horny before I'd ring a bell. Yeah, no shit. You fucking dumbass. I

Don't like any of these these are literally all Neil deGrasse Tyson's from back then. They go, you know who the smartest guy is? Neil deGrasse Tyson. You go, what's he say? He goes, yeah, he says everyone wants to fuck their mom. Yeah, that was bullshit. That was bullshit.

Although. It is funny. It's such a hard one to fight against. No, I don't. Yeah, that is bullshit. Everybody hates that one. Yo, shut the fuck up, dude. Then you go to a pool today and see a kid actually

trying to fuck his mom. That was the argument today. Was obviously a couple fucking freak bulls. It was. That was freak bulls. Also, it's not his fault. It's not the boy's fault. You're right.

It's not the boy's fault. The boy doesn't know. The boy was being molested by a fake titted mom on a scale to one to ten. What was his mom? With upgrades I would say what at least an eight Seven-and-a-half eight Dude having a mom with upgrades first of all is fucked up. That's upgraded moms crazy I've been I've been I've been preaching against like just fake women It's like dude stop like you got to stop women are literally every single aspect of their entire Physical being they're fucking with and messing with it's like yo, just be an old lady like relax

Yeah, now you sound like the black church. That's what black churches are again at our corner. You are all the black church Yeah, like yeah, how about you don't get giant hits. Let's just see. Hello. What else is going on? Jeffrey Epstein. Huge fault line in the Republican Party. Jeffrey Epstein. Well, shout out to the Republicans,

or the Democrats for hitting Democrats written the reverse reverse Go actually your problem, and we support it now True yeah the real ones staying true to can we at least figure out what happened yeah Yeah, that's again the first of all is like he pretty much got busted by the United States Court for molesting young girls in a way commercially commercializing cops in Florida were going obviously he was intelligence because they dropped the case yes they brought to a grand jury they sealed it come on seal the records which should be illegal if you're

molesting young girls no matter what they should go Yeah, here's all the young girls the guy man Let's throw that guy in a fucking tar pit and get rid of them if you're molesting the young girls They should go bust that thing wide open That's what I'm saying No, I'm with you man don't laugh after It's crazy he literally got caught and then a bunch of dudes chill a bunch of dudes chill with him imagine Nate I'm not gonna lie if you got caught

I'm motherfucking black I wouldn't feel like your apartment. I wouldn't be like yo, what's going on? Hey, how's everything going after you got caught literally molesting women in the court sealed the document? after you got caught literally molesting women and the court sealed the document. I'm sorry, I love you, but I'd have to be like, yo, Nate, we can't chill anymore, that's fucked up. The entire country hid your trouble. It would be hard too, you'd be like, yo, bro.

We had good times. I know we're boys. But you gotta splat me. You gotta throw me out of the balcony. You're going, bro. Gotta go full splat. It's Sing 2, we're the wolf from Sing 2.. You gotta throw me out the balcony. You're going, bro. Gotta go full splat. It's Sing 2, we're the Wolf from Sing 2. We're gonna throw you off the motherfucking balcony.

Say Buster Moon, your ass is fucking done. You made a fool of me. Sing 2 is so good, by the way. Shout out to Matthew McConaughey for fucking, he voiced the koalas. Shout out to McConaughey. Obviously, bro. One of the dogs.

I will say it's crazy the entire government was like alright. We know you literally trafficked little girls. It's on record You're busted you're done We're gonna make it so nobody can see exactly what you did That's all the American people are saying like yo if you're in a position of power, and you fuck little girls Can we at least cut your fucking head off in front of everybody? Yeah. Fair question. And they're like not, protecting that

is literally a sign of corruption. But don't you dare. That's a fair question. Yes. That's a fair question. You fucking prefaced that with. Yeah, you fucking fluffed your feathers up. You prefaced that like you were about to say butt.

No, I'm on you guys' team. I was like, yeah, that's right. I was encouraged. That's not a crazy question to ask the society if you prey upon little girls Yeah, we should obliterate we should obliterate you if you if you're gonna cut anyone's head off exactly number one Not fucking protect you and then let you do your thing for a couple more years Church hold on go ahead go Catholic Church does what it has to do We're talking government now all right separation of church and state obviously also in my beliefs All right, but to act like you're crazy for even begging the question

But to act like you're crazy for even begging the question And it to be fair it goes well, they don't have a fucking list of every guy who did that it's like Sure enough, maybe they don't no. No. No, they do. They do. They said they did i've been on enough private planes now No this They write it down It's fucking annoying You get on the plane they go we have to see everybody's id and then they write it down. It's fucking annoying. You get on the plane, they go, we have to see everybody's ID, and then they write it down. You're right.

Every single time. It is funny, though, you could bring whatever you want onto that plane, but we're going to take a record of the fact you flew here. You can bring anything. By the way, if you want to smuggle drugs, spring. Spring for the private plane. I can't believe how easy it is.

It's... Not that I'm doing that, but I'm saying... Exactly you're not, but I wish I knew 20 or 15 years ago. So easily, just get a private plane. You can get a duffel bag filled with kilos. No problem. And put it on the plane. They never check your bags.

Or... And write your name down. Let's step it up. Or you could fly and be like, I'm with my 15, 12 year old girls on the plane. They never check your bags or or write your name down Let's step it up or you could fly and like I'm with my 15 12 year old girls on the plane thing Oh, yeah, these kids. Yeah, they're fucking Yeah, that's just for me and Bill Clinton and fucking Stephen Hawking we're chilling It is funny like you'd have to fly through TSA they scan you for bombs and water literally what if you carry your children's water they're like the fuck is this yeah what do you pay a little bit more they're like you have a volleyball team yeah go ahead man you're fine yeah go ahead fellas you're flying to the Virgin Islands yeah have fun you paid you

paid ten thousand dollars yeah whatever man if you want to fly with a bunch of little girls a bunch of Models you tricked at the mall told them you're beautiful Who will read a question that and then we're gonna miss with quake in his he would roll in his grave if we question you Capitalism 101 at this point. So we're gonna write all you guys names down. Yeah, we will take your ID. Okay Yeah, true, maybe they got rid of those records. If I was on that flight, I would go, what? Yeah.

They go, yeah, the pilot's taking everybody's ID and he's writing our names. You go. Yeah, it's weird to think if you're so rich, if you're so rich. We're gonna want that book. Yeah, and you're just like gazillionaire being like, well, I guess I gotta give it to you.

Yeah, there's a fair point.'s a sad do have to follow one rule When I'm on my pedophile trip You got me you got me I didn't fill in a black book be like I'm ID During the pedophile vacation Yeah, true. Maybe there is no fucking book. Yeah however However, it's crazy to go. Yo guys Get over it

Guys, we got bigger fish to fry than a guy who fucking literally like probably eight twelve year old girls on a fucking island We got to get our jobs back guys. Quit worrying about people fuck We got to get our jobs back guys quit worrying about people fuck We gotta get our jobs back that is actually more important but We can kill two birds with one stone At the same time we can go we should probably figure out what he promised the list You can't promise the list and go guys. What what are you worried about? This list we promised you guys? I know, it's also so funny how clearly they got the list and went, guys, who even cares?

Like, they obviously the whole time leading up to it were like, fuck that, we're gonna get that fucking list. And then one day they were like, what are we even talking? Also, you get the list and you go, me seven times? Me again? Son of a bitch. I will say, when I was in- Bro, that could have happened to anybody.

Not on the Naps scene list, but when it comes to like, I didn't do that, there you go. To be fair, to be fair, when I was in grade school. I did that, son of a bitch, I did that so many times. Everything bad that's ever happened to me, I've gone, I didn't do that. With actual conviction. Dude, when I got canceled from SNL,

agent called me and was like, did you say that? And I was like, no, I would never say that. No. Like we have a video, it's like, well fucking delete it. Literally video of me going. Well fucking delete it, you dumbass. I was like, well, it's like, well fucking delete it. Literally video of me going. Well fucking delete it, you dumbass. I was like, well. I was like, well dude, that's not even in my vocabulary.

I don't say that word. So that's not true. Video, I go. Yeah, they go, well, we could use our power to delete it. It's like, oh yeah, if you want to, go ahead, obviously. No, they sent me the video. I said, guys, There's floods in Texas What are you guys even talking about

We have you in a small Philadelphia apartment. You're like, can you delete that like yeah for sure You please destroy it Yeah, that's That's fucking crazy It's absolutely crazy. We're good on time. Hold on. I got a whiz. Let's keep going. Yeah, let's whiz. Let's keep cooking I got a p2 maybe a game of swords