Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 570 - The Alabama Slamma

Episode Date: August 1, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go to Optimum Noctis TUESDAY! August 5th ATX Creek and Cave @ https://www.creekandcave.com/events/optimumnoctis Good morning everybody. Hope you all had a great week. Fambly ep this week. TGIF. We talk the Cincinatti beatdown, Alabama Slamma, a recent controversy involving our dear friend, and so much more. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Get DUDE Wipes at Amazon and retailers nationwide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Wild Wild West. You think I should take the sworn in as deputy for the dead? Yeah. Why wouldn't you? That's crazy. As soon as I get sworn in, I'm going to discharge my firearm. You have to. Straight into America.

End up in jail? That'd be sick if you start up this fucking sentence. They'd have to, the cops would have to defend me. Yeah, they'd be picked up by their illegal. They would go, dude, don't worry, we got you. Yeah, we got it. It should happen to all the fucking time. I just hope you don't get stabbed in jail.

Yeah. I'd have to commit a heinous crime. I'd have to go on the inside. with you. I can't, yeah, I can't let you in there alone. Yeah, you wouldn't. I can't. I know you wouldn't let me in there alone. I would. I'd have to, I'd go, I'd have to, like, punch a lady or something. If you have to do it. Fast track. I don't want to wait out a trial. Yeah, exactly. You go, this is for my bro. Yeah. And just finally, dude, someone's the apping out.

You go, what you fuck you do? It's interesting. You say that. It's funny you bring that up. Just tell my wife, like, you were actually going to a Notre Dame game and just fucking sucks. Because I love you, babe. I'm sorry. You'll understand. One day you'll understand. I'm sorry. If you get into prison, I'm already running it. And I just immediately trick you out, dude. I'm just instantly just like... I'd be one of your boys?

No, I'd say, you'd be my bottom boy. I'd say, go. You thought you were doing me a favor. You came in. You got me at a bad time. I'd get turned out. I'd turn you out. out you turn me out day one

Matt just let that guy plow I'd have that fucking picture of you and that dolphin hung up on my wall everyone would be using my room to jack off to that photo yeah I was uh I was have you have you like caught the thing with uh Dr. Umar and like his fact is account got frozen

no it's all it's all in like online everywhere but the thing that made me laugh first of all he's been doing a school for like 10 years which is like you know whatever everyone says it's a scam I don't know I don't know about the guy but he's been doing a school for 10 years and taking funding all this stuff but recently because you know school year is coming upon us

he did a video from his car where he's like my accounts have been hacked they're frozen right now there's been fraud on my activity I don't know what's going on it's anybody he repeats him he says everything three times

he goes my accounts have been hacked y'all my accounts have been hacked guys my accounts have been hacked then he goes to his next point why do you get hacked they're saying there's fraud on the account which is kind of sketchy

because if you have thrown your account they don't freeze your funds I don't think they would I don't know I don't know I don't know but the reason I'm bringing this up he has there's two people two online people I think who have been like trolling him and kind of like kicking this investigation

off one of the guy's names is past the busy he says like three times he goes and I want to let you know it's like whatever the other guy's name is and past the busy federal charges can be brought against you federal charges can be brought against past the bussy

the people there's past the bussy he's from philly i think too dr remorse from philly yeah that checks out yeah yeah yeah that checks out but yeah man he seems like uh the man dude i always like him when i seems like truly hilarious when i see him on stuff i always watch but he's goofing how much you think he's goofing i think he's goofing a little you see the memes about him catching people with snow bunnies they're so good it's great they're so good but yeah there's so good but yeah there's so good but yeah there's it's starting to take a pretty negative turn because he does have the frederick frederick douglas marcus scarvy academy and people waiting apparently for 14 years for this thing to open in wilmington

delaware and it's it's not open no dude 14 fucking years and you know so but now someone fucking hacked his accounts now the school's not going to open for another year it's fucking pissing fucking bullshit fucking bullfucking pass the pussy knock it off we're trying to get this school we need to go of FD FDMB. We should move back and enroll. I wonder if there's an age limit. We could Billy Madison, the Frederick Douglass,

Marcus Garvey Academy. Yeah. You'd have to become a moment. You have to face your mumble rap fears. It'd be all mumble wrappers. It's not, it'd be not stop mumble rappers. It'd be the Marcus Garvey mumble rap.

I'd be Ian in there. It'd be the Choyer Academy. I mean, I hope he opens it up, man. Everyone's hating on him. Everyone's like, you know, calling him a grifter and shit, saying, you know, he's just stealing money, but I like to see him open the school

and shut down the haters. Oh, he deserves a little bread. He's giving us good entertainment. Yeah, apparently his booking fee from what I heard is I try to book him on the podcast. And he was asking for racks on racks. Really? Yeah, dude.

That's the least what the booker was like, yeah, you got to pay them racks on racks. I'm like, can I just donate to the school? But now the account's fucking frozen, dude. Fucking past the bussy. Pass the busie. Federal indictment if you get caught messing with the FDMG.

Stop. Knock it off past the bussy. Getting attacked by a guy past the bussy. It's so funny. The thing that was freaking me out, though, like, if you have fraud in your account, they don't like, like, hey, no money for you. You know what I mean? Like, if someone fucks with your credit cards or your debit card.

So. Could be that. Like, he might, I don't know. I don't know. Because it does freeze your account. That always sucks. Yeah. Like, there's something fraudulent going on.

We shut down your debit card. You're like, does it free. See, I only ever had it on my credit card. Well, either one. Yeah. Okay. You go, what the fuck? Dang.

I have one card. Yeah, true. He was saying both, he has an account for the school and a personal account. Both are shut down right now. So, you know, thought some tease and peas. Yeah, tease and peas go out to the doctor. The good doctor. Tees and peas is the prince of Pan-Africanism.

Yes. His words. That's what he calls himself. That's true. He calls himself. Yeah. Dude, he is funny. He's falling in Gaddafi's steps.

He what? He's falling in Gaddafi's steps. He is. He is. He is genuinely very, everything I watch him on. I'm like, I love it. I love watching him just be raped people for snow bunnies. Yeah, and also, yeah, sometimes it's very fun when people are racist against white people.

It's fun to watch. Look at that. That's fun. I'm a sucker for any... Unless it's the Cincinnati beatdown. What's the Cincinnati beat down? Oh, you're on X. Get off of X.

The Cincinnati beatdown. It's so funny. When will it stop? The Cincinnati, don't give it a name. I know. The Cincinnati beatdown sounds like it was a W.W. The Cincinnati beat down. Was that the couple that left the jazz club and the lady?

It's just that lady's picture They got fucked up Dang It was really really bad It looked bad out Oh I only ever saw the one still image Of the lady Oh no it was rough

Very bad She looks dead Yeah she got fucking cracked Jesus Christ The Cincinnati beat down Yeah my I made the mistake Of going on X during the CB

And I'm like Yeah and it's man They're radicalized They're trying to radicalize me man Yeah They really are But they get everyone on that I just saw some other videos

What's just the reverse You know just like we're done being pushed around this is what happens yeah true you're going to get a Cincinnati beat down I mean that should be a national holiday when did the boat fight happened the boat fight was huge the Alabama boat fight how did the boat fight not get a cool nickname the Alabama slamma the boath Alabama slamma yeah that was that was a big win that was their Boston tea party they're just they're throwing whites overboard That was the Arizona tea party.

That was the Arizona iced tea party. The Alabama slam has happened. The anniversaries on Optimum Noctus. Oh, nice. You got to have to celebrate by throwing guard dog over off the stage. You walk the plank. You got to walk the plank. All the pirates got the booty.

I got to be honest, that was a tough day for the whites. Oh, that was a tremendous L. The Cincinnati beat down is just, that's terrible. That's a tremendous L. The Alabama Slamma. The Alabama Slamma was crazy. That was a tough one. It's just drunk white dudes.

Anyway, the black dude swam across. You remember that? Fucking black dude came out of water. Yeah, dude. Yeah. It was crazy. We thought we controlled the seas. Apparently not.

We thought we controlled the seat. Yeah, that's our, that's safe. The dock's the best place to fight a black guy. You go, oh, can't get me here. So it's the pit. And then one comes out of water. You go, oh, shit. Finish him.

All you got to do is go. no longer no longer dude oh now you need my help fine I'll save you yeah what kicked off the Alabama slamma I think drunk people on a boat

yeah there's a powder keg down there yeah blasts and scared drunk white people on a boat black people I'm sure minding their own business yeah for sure I'm sure they were mine

in their own business Oh, they slapped a security guard Oh, they slapped a black security guard. They slapped a black security guard. I think I was telling them they couldn't do what they were doing, like, which was he probably was excited to do that. Yeah, I almost as a white person, it is offensive when someone tells me I can't do it ever. So that security guards wrong for that.

Yeah, I know, I know. I'll tell you you really ain't it. Cincinnati one was devastating, though. That was a bad look. That was a bad look. You know, it's fucked up. There's no big fine. It's not.

security guards aren't protected like if you beat the shit out of a mailman you get it's like a forty thousand dollar fine yeah you can just smack a security guard i mean it's assault yeah the worst case scenario could happen true you trigger the alabama you're like the franz ferdinand of alabama slamma i mean yeah that was it god that would suck and they united forces i don't even think they knew each other the swimming guy i don't think had anything to do with the security guy he just he saw an injustice he was like a russian submarine he came out yeah the u-boat off the coast Just waiting. This is an ad by Better Help.

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Ocean Casino Resort, excuse me. I think I put Ocean Casino one time and they wanted me to say Ocean Casino Resort. I will be there 816, 2025, Atlantic City, New Jersey. It's going to be a very good time. It's going to be a hoot. It's going to be a blast, man. Fresh off the race, right to the show. It's going to be pretty nasty.

While you're there, August 16th. Matt, I'll be in Grand Rapids, Michigan at the Van Andal Arena. One of my bros I think is going to see he was talking about it. Sick. Also, August 8th, I'll be in Louisville, August 9th, St. Louis, August 15th, Detroit, 16th, Grand Rapids. Come on. And then August 23rd, Milwaukee's gone wild. Taking Midwest by storm.

I might bring, I might bring Lamar, see if you can open up the group for him, dude. Yeah. You're right. You got some deets on the Alabama slam? It says, okay, so it says some guys are holding up the boat. They're holding up the river boat. It was a bunch of guys on the pontoon holding up the river boat. and the riverboat sent some guys down to

there was obscene gestures sent towards the boat and in the boat who was on the river boat? I think that was the guy. I think that was the guy who got hit with the chair was the boatman. Oh. Yeah.

Because wait, wasn't the crew? Didn't the crew? Have you guys seen the Alabama Salama video in a while? No. They pushed the security guard and then the security guard hits the Bobby Shmower. He throws his hat up in this guy

and then squares. Like he said, graduation. I saw a Middle Eastern security guard get absolutely just crushed by a black guy recently. It was Tuesday. No, Monday, actually. I was just like walking around on 6th Street on Monday. And a guy is like, older black dude had a, like just a tiny puppy on a leash. And I came around the corner to him screaming at the security guard because the security guard, I think, attempted to pet his puppy.

And he goes, how about I touch your fucking daughters? you think you can touch my dog how about I touch your fucking daughters touch your wife touch all of your cousins and he was a puppy everyone's gonna fucking try to touch that puppy I know he was like looking around

for support like you guys hear what I'm saying I kind of sat around just waiting like damn this is fucked up just kind of listen I was made neutral I was Switzerland

I was kind of like I didn't know if they're gonna fight this guy was pretty jacked too and I was like fuck dude I might have to take that puppy out of the battle in case the puppy gets hurt and just run away

yeah he was the and then he beat the Wait, he fought the guy? He didn't beat him up. He just said nasty things. Barking at him, calling him a child molester after he said he would touch his kids, which I thought was kind of interesting.

But the guy, because the guy did have funny glasses on, so he's like, look like a fucking pedophile. What are you going to do about it? He was trying to go to a fight and the guy was just going like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, he should have spread out of up. He should have security on 6th Street.

You must get hit with that. He was like hotel. Hotel security. All day. Baking in the sun. Some guy was like, we didn't touch my fucking dog on piece of shit. Oh, puppy, this will be a nice moment.

Yeah. I will molest your children I got called a pedophile After the guy told me he'd molest my children And then he's like Yeah you're a pedophile It's like okay Yeah

He just played it off He kept being like yeah Yeah yeah buddy And the guy was like yeah Do something about it pussy And I was like dude This is a tough fucking hell Sixth Street's so gross

Yeah it was like hot It was so hot out Man And when the air conditioning Breaks in the comedy club Yeah It's a recipe for fucking negative experience He probably left

He probably the early show He was probably there Took a shirt off Went outside and was like, fuck this, dude. Fuck this. I'll tell you this, man. I saw the movie Allied recently.

Has anybody ever seen this? Is Brad Pitt and the hot French lady? No. It was wonderful. What did they do? It was so good. I'll just give you the beginning, though. This is, so it's the hot French lady from inception.

You remember her at all? Kind of, yeah. Anyway, if you saw her, you'd like it. But they're both spies, and they're in Casablanca and World War II. What? And they have to pretend to be. husband and wife. Oh.

It's a fucking dream scenario. It sounds like Mr. Mrs. Smith. Did you ever see that? Yeah. But it's like a cooler version of Mr. Smith. It's kind of cool.

I liked it a lot. That's awesome. I was surprised. Dude, you should think about doing a... I know you're all filmed out, but maybe you do like a shock a lot. You should do like an intense romance film.

I was thinking about that. Were you really? Oh yeah. That would be nice. I just need to make love on camera. That's what I'm saying. That's not. It'd be so sick.

You do a bathtub sex scene? Essentially laying a woman down. be so tight you spend so much money you should spend so much money I can use all my money and make like a poly chocolate like you're just like a cool guy in tech

with poly and you just have sex with women the entire movie true and in the end I should just spend a ton of money to make a 50 shades of gray where I prematurely ejaculate just the whole hit her with one whip and go

oh oh fuck Don't fucking tell anyone That'd be so funny The whole time You just get richer and richer And you just keep getting more and more pussy Just keep prejack it faster

You start fucking guys That would be a cool That actually would be a cool movie About like suburban swingers Who get so deep in the scene That the husband starts doing gay stuff Because that's kind I think that's what happens when you swing

Everyone's like that'd be But I'm pretty sure you end up doing gist. There's one more thing. Exactly. I think you're just in the mix of it. You're having sex with like a 52 year old lady from Florida. You're like, this couldn't get any better. And that's like a six-year-old guy, kisses your butt hole.

Yeah, swinging is like... Swinging is disgusting. Yeah, man. It's fucking weird. Lemaire tries to go to fucking swinger parties. Yeah, but he's single. Wait, huh? He's just bowling.

Lemaire's just bowling out. He's single. Look at the hat. You know, it's not. He's got the bulls out of the knee-braised bowl. He sent him the signals out, dude. Yeah, Roland stagged to a swinger's party. It's pretty wild.

Yeah, I've never gone. You keep getting ripped off. You've wet. I got ripped off. You made the attempt. You've went, yeah. It was Milwaukee gone wild. Yeah.

Years ago, where you got in trouble for trying to. Oh, yeah. I wasn't trying to do anything, but like, yeah, I forgot. There was a party, and it was. How much can I say? It was like a cool Coke party And you tried to start like bringing in like the typical Swinger move being like

What are we like swingers? No, no, no, no, no. Wait, you're at a cool Coke party? Yeah, and in the backyard it was like a It was this guy and his wife I think I was talking to the guy I was like, dude, it was their house too You were talking to the guy?

Yeah, because dude, you're fucking cool dude You're like a bull Because he was talking to other ladies And his wife was around I was like that's fucking cool And what do you say? My wife said, I was fucking out of my house?

No. They just, they didn't kick me out. Brad kicked me out. Oh, is it in Philly? Yeah. Cool Coke party in Philly? Yeah. I was trying to be a hoot.

You called the guy a bull in his own house. It was at someone's house? It was out back. It was out back. Close to, uh, the club? No. Okay. He was in a guy's house and the guy was there with his wife and you complimented him on

being like, you probably cheat on your wife, dude. you're so fucking cool you're so cool that's awesome you're probably a bull that's fucking disgusting dude 5.30 in the morning I'm sorry I can cut that out if you want

all you hear of the bird's gerber and the mayor being like how much do you fuck other girls that's so fucking cool dude can I see your dick damn that's like that's such a nightmare being on the other end of that just highest shit on coke and someone be like you'd probably cheat on your wife dude

that's awesome Oh, fuck. Who is this guy? What am I doing? Who else was with you? Oh, G-D. It was you too. Yeah.

Was Nathan there? No. King Cobb. King Cob was there. Damn. Yeah. It's a good squad. Yeah, all the buddies were there.

Nice. George. Damn I also got kicked out Like six in the morning I was ready to go home True Yeah

Gardini you're just crushing Garnini A little crush play Yeah yeah A little suffocation play How Is you what King Just laying on

Card dog Gardini was his ass Worshipping Just ass worshipping Oh wait How did you get kicked out though Like Was it aggressive

Or was it like No it was quite Brad came up to me and he was like uh hey man i think you gotta go it's time for us to leave it was like all right cool that was it's like i'm ordering an uber right now and they just waited dang it's 6 a m too you're probably ready to roll i was ready to roll yeah that's that's breakfast sandwich time it's a perfect way to get kicked out perfect time to get kicked out of a party six in the morning yeah might as well just let me leave on my own yeah you know yeah oh cool cook party those

Those can go. Yeah, you're right. I would like to see you swing, dude. I'd like to see you swing. I think out of all of us, you could handle the swing. Mentally, I think you could handle it the best. No. Really?

No, I don't think so. I think it would bother me. What would get you down? I'd be like, you love him more to me? It's not your wife. Shit, dude. Still, you would catch feelings, you're saying? Dude, come on, dude.

You'd catch feelings. Yeah. At the cool Coke party. swinger party. The cool, Cook Swinger party, yeah. Apparently Tampa Bay is where it's at.

Tampa Bay is apparently cut capital of the United States. Yeah, Tampa and Arizona, right? I don't know. Phoenix, Scottsdale, I think.

I could see that. Yeah. Yeah. I think New Jersey, too. New Jersey? I don't know about that. Yeah. Which part?

Oh, Sean's from New Jersey. Oh, yeah, true. I don't know. You think Italians would like that? Yeah, dude, of course. What? The Italians are very territorial in nature.

They would not like that. They probably just, like, get together and, like, beat other guys' wives instead. A little wife swap. Yeah. What the fuck? It's met a cut taste like fucking cement. Yeah, I don't know. You don't think your parents were swingers in New Jersey?

My parents were definitely not swingers in New Jersey. That's good. We're empty nesters now. Not really. They got a lot of people. coming through that nest. I wish you would say something like that on the broadcast. I really wish you would say stuff.

Sean, my parents aren't empty nesters yet, but yours are. And I'm just saying you should, you know, you should be like, guys, if you want to experiment now is the time.

That would be nice to be. You should just give them a little, yeah, like maybe a handwritten letter. Yeah, just be like guys. It's no one's going to go, guys.

I love you. No one's home now. Maybe you guys should start experimenting and doing things you've never, you know, you always wanted to. Yeah, open the relationship up a little bit.

That's all. Yeah, You should suggest they open the relationship. And then you can do covenant eyes with your dad. And then you and your dad can share porn. I'd rather not think about this. He's going to edit this out. We'll never know.

We'll never know. Your parents would think this is funny. Can we be respectful about it? They love this stuff. Hello. You know. Obviously, we'll unfortunately edit this out. I like the parents.

I don't want them upset. No. Look, I'm just saying they have to give them the option. have to do it. Just give them the option. Yeah. I don't want to make them angry and I really don't want to make them horny. Yeah. I don't want them to get any ideas. But you have talked about it. That's also, that's, like, you've brought this up

where you're like, wouldn't it be cool if, like, my parents experimented? No shit. I was like, what? You were hammered. I don't think you remember. Yeah, you were so drunk. You fell down after. You were like, I'm going to call my sister and see what she thinks. I was like, Sean, Sean, don't know. Yeah, we said no. You all nasty as hell. just Josh and just Josh Just Josh and just Josh All right

What else you guys Yeah what else is gone Besides our parents being Polly We have proof of a mate's zest What That's a mean thing to bring up on What's the proof It's all been funny games up to hear

But that was a little too far What's the proof of the zest Yeah The photo evidence that we got From the pub the other night When you took your penis out in Los Angeles And laid on the ground with your penis out what happened no no from from the the rickshall's i don't know if that's oh the rickshaw

evidence oh jesus what was the rickshaw evidence he's just sitting on guys laps on a rickshaw screaming with his arms no with his arms of the ego i'm not sitting on guys laps but it's a hundred percent on guys laps man it looks like i'm sitting on guys can we did nate you admitted that you had no recollection of the evening and then we have photo video evidence from a trusted source. We were all having fun at games. Without a doubt, on the lap. Not on the lap.

That was the biggest regret of the night. You woke up in the morning. He went, God, I could have sat on that guy's walking laugh. He sat on two guys' laps. He split the cheeks on. Who were these guys? I got a cheek. Oh, no.

It was Redmond. It was Redmond and our buddy Chris. And Nate, it was a perfect timing. We can get the footage. We can get the footage. We can let the viewers decide. The thing that heard, the thing that heard was the arms on the bar. look here the footage

looks like but that's because I'm sitting screaming I'm sitting forward I'm sitting forward everybody banished me everybody banished me these guys hopped in one with Tommy you and Tony had your own private one Hey

Hey you You guys are good Revers It's a good counter Oh man You sent me with red band In another unit And I just had to

squeezing between them but the footage looks bad they love taking those fucking rickshaws I despise it it's fun while you're on it but then dude people see you yeah you're getting carted through town it's fucking embarrassing it was devastating

red bin damn you got me with the the counter strike girl that was nice I'll give you that you're fucking gay ass I don't want to do it but you got to you had to do it you had to do it nobody yeah enough joking around about it's over bit's done

That's so fucking fucked up, dude. That's crazy. You throw me under the bus like that. That's crazy. Give me those shirts back. You don't get to any. Oh, fuck. You fucking snake, dude.

Just when you think, dude. I know. Fucking hits me with the reverse his ass. I'm getting the video right now. Yeah, true. I got to see the video. I got to see the video. I don't know if I have his number.

I want to do have his number Red Bam I want to do a They should do them where you can stand up Like a charioteer That'd be nice Where you could stand That would be the straightest

Rickshaw all you can do Stand up like a charioteer You have like rains You can kind of Yeah rain him back a little Smack the guy in the ass Why he's going We're going to get some footage in there

Yeah now we got to review the tape Who filmed it by the way Red band Oh Hit you at the guy MediGlasses. There's Yeah, you should claim

AI. You should claim AI. Oh, dude, that's got to be deep fake. He was literally filming because there was like four rituals. Yeah,

he was filming me and I was like, dude, stop film, like don't film this. Yeah, you got to redact. And then he turned the camera around,

Nate was just, it looked POV. It was. It's not pertinent information. It looks POV. You got to redact your tape. The worst part is I know Red Band didn't remember

how bad it looked. Like he pulled He pulled the footage up, like. No, he was lying. No, he wasn't lying. You're clearly on their lap. I'm not trying to. And he tried to deny it.

And he was like, I wasn't sitting on their fucking lap. And Leibbair just happens to walk over and be like, I have footage of it. He did say that. But then he pulls up the footage and he's trying to scroll through. And when he hits the angle that looks bad, like, I see him go like, holy shit, I got it. This looks like you sit there's no other angle. There's no other angle. other possible place for your ass to have been.

I'm telling you. It was so obvious that Redfin was like, oh, I feel bad. Maybe I shouldn't just shoot all the guys that video. He literally never said. He came up to me. He's like, I'd tell Nate, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to throw him under the bus like that. He came over to me.

It was like, because he knows I wasn't sitting on his lap, but it's damn stadium footage. Why do you keep saying that if we saw the video? Are you elevated at all? No, we're kind of on an even play field. I'm sitting forward though So I don't know That's also not If I'm being

It's a bad defense Here's what I'm sitting forward I should be a little higher Their shoulders There's two guys sitting Their shoulders are touching There's nowhere else for him to sit Behind you

So he had to have room to You had to hit this Damn he was selfie sticking while I was giving him a lap dance On a pedicat And that was a bump fucking ride damn

now I wonder you were all tucked out when we got to the bar I wasn't tuck it up you were tuck it out you fucking fell asleep

I was fine did I fall asleep at the book yeah you did fall I do remember you were asleep at the bar

wait of me sleeping at the bar you guys drugged me you guys bro you gave me they put you to bed they gave me

well he was a minute before he was asleep he was standing on a stool screaming and I look over and he was

I'm like, all right, Nate's got to go. He almost danced out the bar. He was on his dance and he hit the door into the alley. That was a good night. That was a good night.

That's so fucking funny. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah, for real, though, they put you to sleep. He fucking tuckered you out. That's fine. That's devastating.

It looks so bad. We'll wait. We'll wait for the footage. I'm working on the footage right now. Thank you. The meantime. You'll see the footage. Yeah, that's...

In the meantime, go watch the movie Allied. True. I'm not going to give you any spoilers. It's a great film. You're going to love it. Don't look into it. Don't read the description. Just watch the movie.

That's what I did. That's the best. I did one of years. You got a pleasant surprise. Is there a twist and turns? Plenty. Yes Plenty

Twist and turns Need some good twists and turns Also the hottest Possible scenario Just like you're paired with a lady You have to pretend To be husband and wife You live together

The neighbors are watching We have to kiss right now Maybe we should have sex What He had him BP had her with the baby He was once saying Play cool babe

She was like We got to do this Yeah Dude got the footage Can I review the footage We have the video It's loading right now It's loading

What the fuck How many Footage It's damning footage Oh, it's going to be like... It's bad. I can't believe you're denying it. It's going to be 6K footage.

6K red bin tape. The red bin tapes. The red band tapes? Look, the footage is undeniably bad. I can't. That's fair. I have no argument. Dang.

But I know I was up to no zesty activities. You might have to 2.0 right now. When Liver King got caught with steroids, you might have to Nate 2.0. You're a different guy. Just rebrand. You might have it totally rebranded, dude. Especially fresh off the zesty allegations in L.A. That's why he said it because he knows the C.C.

And then just straight a little lap sitting on a rickshaw bouncing around. Arms on the bar screaming. Woo. Fuck, dude. And then dancing around, dancing on table dancing. Dang. You got to be ugly out on the bar. Did I stand on the egg?

You stood on the stool. Which was a real risk. I was crushed You did that twice You did it And you jumped down That was scary It was impressive

You jumped off I was like Oh man I was hit Yeah they can kick out From under you Three Freebird

Three times Freebird On repeat You guys Took over the touch Yeah Free bird on repeat It's so fucking sick

It's a good night It's such a nice move Yeah There was some complaints About Triple Freebird Who the About the music on repeat Who would complain about

Triple Freebird There was nothing They could do No Yeah, it's, yeah, boost in your touch tunes is honestly might be one of my favorite things in the world, just completely commandeering a touch tune and ruining everyone's night. It's awesome. A good song for that.

I think I said it before, but Donovan, Atlantis. Just an English guy from the 60s being like, in there in the former world, there was Atlantis. And he just, it's like a 13-minute song where he just, like, talks about the legend of Atlantis. It's so fucking funny. That's nice. I told you that time we took over the, there was just a guy eating spaghetti at a really shitty dive bar. We started playing, when the moon hits your eye. We just kept playing Italian songs.

He was by himself eating spaghetti at the bar. It was terrible. It was so depressing. I'd be pumped if someone hit me with the spaghetti sound track. He never even noticed it, but yeah, we were hitting a loud spaghetti soundtrack. This episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast is brought to you by Dude Wipes. Have you left poop streaks in someone else's toilet? Yeah, every time.

Every single time. Yeah, I did it all week. It's a fucking disaster. I left a, I mean, I literally painted my bowl this morning. Yeah. It was crazy. There's nothing wrong with that. No, I was a little paint job.

Do you ever pack extra underwear when you travel? How much extra? Do you ever need it? Pretty much an extra pair per day. Yeah, I always bring extra underwear. Yeah. Not because I'm fucking shitting my pants constantly. Yeah, I used to probably work it out.

What do you guys getting out here? Do you wipe sanding or sitting down? Does it make a difference? What is going on? Dude, how horny are these people? What did they want to know? There's got to be something about standing up, though. Like, I'm a stand-up wiper, honestly.

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You got the video? Tonight might be speeding night. Tonight might be speeding night at my house actually. That's exciting. Yeah, I'm actually going to pumped on that. Dude, how big is this fucking video? The only thing I see here is the brawl, the Alabama River. The Alabama Riverfront.

Oh, man. Shirtless whites defeated on the riverfront. Yeah, the shirtless whites Dang, dude Imagine going home from the Alabama bra You gotta put on your life is good t-shirt Watch it's all over the news People are celebrating

Oh, damn My goodness gracious Wait, if it's on your phone Just show it to Matt Yeah, let everybody get a good look at this knee brace And Here we go I never got sound before

oh no you listen to the thought rap too okay that's all right let's see flash forward the tape okay this is just yeah where else could he be sitting

their shoulders are touching there's one bench I'm sitting so far actually it looks better like a little bit now to me that it did I'm sitting their knees are very Veeed out and you're on the tip of the tip. Yeah, their knees are vied out and I'm in the tip of the thing, but the video's damn you're on the tip.

Just you pause. Oh, shit. Yeah, I mean, it's, oh, bro. I'm not dancing. Look at the fellows behind him. Oh, my God, dude. They love that you're having fun. That's nice.

You kind of gave him a Wally a little bit. I get a what? A Wally. What is that? When you just, someone leans against a wall and you just twerk on them? Warrick, where, quirk. Greg, Greg. Dang.

Yeah, that's bad. I will say, I will say it's still up for debate, but it doesn't, you know. I like to believe you guys trust me that I wasn't sitting on two men's laps. I do believe. I do believe. I do believe. I think as tantalizing of a possibility as that is, I do think their knees were vied out and you're on the very edge of the seat. But the video is dammed.

It was a, I started sweating last night. Oh, my name. What if footage came out? I was like, holy shit. It's all footage. The what? Petty Cab was the opposite. Straight as hell?

We could all fit. Nobody had to sit on any laps. And we just screamed really loud the whole time. My friend abandoned. You guys abandoned me for timing. We were supposed to. me to go. Sorry.

He said you lapped up. Yeah. Could have Ubered. Yeah, we could have Ubered. That was my suggestion. What? That was what I was saying. I was like, that's fucking Uber.

Rickshaw through the city. Yeah, those things are kind of, and they drive so fucking, they ride so fast, too. It's fun when you're on there. Yeah, I guess I did. I did one with my kids, and I was like, yo, can you please slow the fuck down? I don't need you to get me there two minutes faster. Please slow down. Dude, you're driving like a fucking maniac.

but yeah it would be cool if your kids aren't on that'd be fun i had like two little kids and he was just like jamming his brakes on the bikes and my bro slow the fuck down you're not winning i'm not gonna be like this is so cool this guy's flying we almost hit like mold the pedestrians yeah right next to cars too yeah yeah and it's like right at pedestrians yeah it's just like bruh what do you i mean i guess you're trying to make that money those dudes get paid during like acl those dudes will make like fucking thousand bucks a night it's kind of tight we gotta get you out there mace yeah get a lime scooter and just attach a little chariot

yeah you can jail break those things too you can jail break lime scooters and they fucking rip dude i want to jail break one hit like 40 on it oh man do it you are nice on those things i have i have a good time dude i can't believe you haven't really tumbled yet i've i'm always tumbling You have, like, a devastating tumble. There's going to be a devastating tumble one of these days. I had one in Indianapolis.

I was drunk. I scoot around the corner. I just fucking fell. And I went head over ass. I just went sideways roll. Damn. God, that must have been so nice to see. Oh, yeah.

And I got a scar from here when I tried to, I was, again, scooting from Frazier to my house. And I tried to jump a curb. I just, I fell. fuck made you think you could jump a curb jump off or up i was close up i'm trying to jump up so you oh you just lifted the front scrape the bottom just a little bit i just missed it a bunch of guys were laughing at me after that yeah definitely you got trying to jump a curb on the fucking skitter yeah dude i need it to get really hurt you should have plant you get if you plant one foot you could probably pop it up yeah but that's risky dude i did

Did you do full speed on it? Oh, dude, that's crazy. I was going fast. Squeer on the brakes on them, is nice. I'll, like, pull up to my house on them every now and again. My wife will be outside and I'll just get to our block and go, E! Oh, my God, will you stop?

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Yeah, they're nice. Lime scooters are the shit, man. I love those things. A lot of people are genuinely like, I don't touch those things. Me. Really? Yeah.

I love them, man. They're so fun. I ride them in the mothership. Ride them there, grab one, ride it back. It's awesome. Yeah. That's crazy. It's such a long drive.

It's like 3.4 miles. That's a lot. Headphones. Dude, headphones in, blasting. It's fucking, it's the best.

There's, there's like a couple on the route from my house there. There's like three spots. I can get air. Just like weird shit. You know, like the tree.

You're in air on the way to the show. For sure. There's like, you know, like the tree roots, like fuck sidewalks up. There's one really good. Oh, dude.

Near the cemetery. There's one. Like, it's so fucking good. Damn. Getting air in front of the cemetery. It's so tight. bombing and showing up and not doing good getting air for all the people who are dead

they can't get air anymore yeah it's respect it is out of respect for sure hitting air in front of a cemetery is fine and a lot of like the there's like driveways there's a curb where it's like it kind of goes up you can fucking nail it's yeah getting airless I haven't skateboarded in a while I've been fucking I've been fiending

for air yeah there's got to be a way for you to get air I'm gonna skateboarding my knees are like better now so I wouldn't risk it with the big race true yeah i guess i gotta stay focus yeah i can't fucking get air i can't get two inches of air if you get if you get hurt and you're not allowed to participate that's a bigger than losing to now yeah that would be yeah that's a loss yeah having to be like oh actually i can't do it guys is your family excited for the race i don't think they care that much i mean they'll i think the closer it gets

the closer they get i'd be so excited yeah to watch it'll be so fun i'd be so happy i might get i might go pro the whole thing either way either way it's a victory true whoever wins it's the other person's going to be yeah it's going to be crazy it's going to be hoarse it's that'd be the funniest i'm i'll go all out i'll completely sprint yeah you'll die for it yeah exactly i i think he will too one of us might die from the race i'm the best case scenario would you take an early enough lead that you can just it's over true if it's close you guys are going to run you guys might run a four minute mile no people are going to be you guys are going to be sprinting just be just be beat the Kenyan, I think the record for a mile is like, sub four minutes. Yeah. It's pretty

fucked up. Dude, did you know the Tour de France is 2,100 miles? Yeah. I didn't know that. I didn't know it was exactly that. I knew it was like, it's insane. I just learned that. It starts in Italy and goes into France. I thought it was like 80 miles, which I'm like, that's an impressive bike. No, it's multiple days. Dude, yeah. It's like, it's like a fucking month and they ride 2,100 miles crossing from one. I don't give a fuck about the Tour de France. Neither one. I don't I like it at all. I didn't care until I rode my bike yesterday, three miles. True.

I haven't rid of biking forever. It's probably sick. It's so tight, dude. Especially when, like, I'm all about tracking times on everything now. So I was like tracking my time. And I was like, let me see what the Tour de France is up to? And I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, they're going fast.

Dude, they go fast as shit up hills. And it's, dude, 2,100 miles. They were all jute, bro. Why wouldn't you? That's why you're getting into it. That's why you're getting into it, dude. The juice is taking over my brain. you finding out what Floyd Landis was on

The pride of Lancaster, Pennsylvania How long did it take you to get back from the gym You should check your times Check your times I checked them It was three miles about like 20 years It was like 15 minutes It wasn't great

My tie was all uphill My time was fucking trash Three mile times 27 minutes I can do running 27 minutes That's incredible It's not bad It's really good Nine minute mile

Yeah that's three nine minute miles Yeah you should run a marathon I don't dude I can't do like super Super long miles my knees just get shattered. And also running crushes your tea. It makes sense.

It does, dude. It makes a lot of sense. It does. It's a girl running for girls. It is. But once you lift and sprint, I sprint. You got sprint. That's high tea.

Sprinting is the most tea you can have. Sprinting is high tea. Sprinting's crazy. Sprinting and mile. Trying to like, I want to be able to sprinting. Sprinting is so fucking funny. Sprinting is hilarious, dude.

And it's nice, too, because there's people there who run like seriously. Yeah. When you're doing sprints, you blow past them. And I think it kind of pisses them off. because there was a running club i was there one saturday and there was a running club and there was like the dude was like the he seemed to be like the captain club running club is just a full sex club but it's completely the austin running clubs are literally just to fuck each other yeah i mean yes for sure it was literally just jack dudes and babes but we were doing sprints the jack

dudes and babes this non-stop here well i know it was it was it was funny and there was and you were just blown by them because they're the one guy was just like they're like doing warm-ups and then it's like you blow past them and like guys we're gonna do spring after this you want to do it. It's like, bro, we're done like chill, yeah. Sorry, I fucking pass you. I blew you out of the fucking war. We're not going to race, dude. I already won. But it's, it was funny because that day it was the running club. I already won the race.

Obviously you want to rematch dude. I just humiliated you in front of all the babes. He was just like warming up. I think he was just being nice. Honestly, I was with my friend as being like, dude, he's so pissed. We blew past him. That guy's so fucking mad at us right now. But then there was three heats pretty much because there was the running club

was shredded. And then the dude I was with we're both just like kind of dad bod. And then there was, like, super fat dudes. And we were viving with the super fats because we would sprint. Super fats were in the running club? No, no, they were just there. They were just walking. Just a super fat club.

Grazing. I shouldn't call them super fat. The super fat club was, they were grazing on the infield. They were pretty chunky, but we were cheering each other on because then we would sprint and they started doing sprints. That's low too. I was hyping cheering each other on a track. Nah, when you see the fats?

I see the fats a lot of the track and I always, I saw a father with two fat sons. That's good. And I was running three miles and I was fucking hitting them with the fucking hang loose because they were... It's got to be hard. What are you guys doing on the telephone over there? Really? Okay.

Well, that's... Now I can't think about anything else. Yeah. Tell us and edit this out. We're going to edit it right now. Wow, wow. And we're back. Hey. Hey, how's it going?

But yeah, cheering on the fats at the track is nice. That's awesome. Because we had to unite. We were two, we were just two Rebel blocks. How old were these fats? they were they were like i would say out of college age not they were like what do you mean by cheering on the fat like what were you said

well we were like we would run they were kind of hyping us and then they would run we'd hype what do you mean by hyping just as they were like because you're sprinting and you're like you know get that you need that final push and when you're like 40 meters out you want to start giving up yeah and then they pass they pass us i'm like come all let's go let's go let's go just hyping them up yeah yeah yeah hopping the fats we were united against the awesome running club the poly clubs are the awesome running clubs it's filth yeah it was the

Fat, slightly less fat. Just super chlamydia running through that thing. Just drug resistance STDs. Oh, big time. Coursing through all of their cocks and pussies. Big time, dude. Dripping. I think I caught some of the drip.

The drip was probably, it probably was like alien blood. It probably turned through the ground. It was acid. Yeah, no one hornier. No one hornier. Just like having like a mid-20s existential crisis. You're just running like a four-minute mile. I do understand the meeting friends.

thing it's nice getting along but yeah it's clearly it was like it was pretty the invite to it was agro it was like multiple invites yeah i was like guys i'm married i don't want to do gay stuff with the captain of the fucking thing i don't want to kiss all the girls they're at the uh the uh uh what's the domain a lot really yeah yeah i always see them there yeah they yeah they they spot up i think i don't get the invite it's fucked up i think they know i'm not a running man did you just walk you gotta blow past them and they're like dudes we're doing sprints after this is like dude you had your chance on the track man i fucking you got torched i smoked your ass you didn't know we were racing not my problem you got

torched by the best sorry you didn't know we were racing bro i'm always ready to run yeah the track is intense man there's like some people who are all it does make me laugh when people are like just buy a ton of shit for running it's like bro people spend boku bucks on running stuff it's like you don't need it all you got to do is just run dude you don't need to buy like 14 fucking there's one in was it in philly there's like a that shoe's or that's a running store. I've gone in there to just buy sneakers. It's so embarrassing.

Clearly, I don't run. Yeah. And there's just everyone's in there. There's a guy who works in there who's an ally of the podcast. He's an ultramarathoner. Absolutely the bro. But yeah, no, it's people are all about it. And you're like, dude, I'm really just walking in these things.

Yeah, I'm just, I just want something comfy. I'm here to get something comfy. He's inspired. He has inspired me. I'm more of slippers, man. True. Hoka does make slippers. That would be kind of nice.

Yeah, so I spyed. him when I was in California I said that'd be nice. That would be a nice treat. Still so goddamn cheap. I saw him there and I said Not yet. I can't get the hook of slippers just yet. But yeah that uh One day I'll treat myself But yeah dude come Saturday. I'd love to hit the track Saturday

We're gonna sprint assize me up. Sign me up. Sign me up I will say sprinting is put out of fire. Spritting feels good Spritting Spritting a group I'll be there now. spreading feels great it's been a while that's what I'm saying I didn't do the first when I first started doing it my fingertips would be numb for like when I was running I'd feel the blood just leave my hands oh wow whoa let's get some out you know because when you run you form new veins and capillaries and shit that's why I really like it yeah it's kind of cool that is cool so otherwise just veins are getting clogged and dying every day and if you run your body you're like you have said like I mean you're obviously I guess it helps your muscles but like your vein you know no I learned that from by the way I don't think you I I had, when you were gone, I had a penis guy. I did a Zoom with the penis guy.

Janice. Janice Biffranes. His name's Janice? That's like his, like, pseudonym for his penis company. That's like his YouTube name. But he was one explaining to me, like, if you want to grow your dick, you have to do a lot of cardio because that releases a growth hormone. A lot of people push back.

That explains a lot. I don't know. I'm thinking about it. Bro, I've been shripping later. Well, you're working so hard. Once you're done, once you're back in recovery, you'll get you. dung i think it's from not you deserve from working hard dude i honestly think it's from not i don't like i don't touch my dick that's really fucked up yeah i don't even touch it i sometimes in bed i'll

start too and go no just like hands on my pants that's real fucked up just my hands i like my hands on my pants like normal and i go this is nice and i go bro hands off hands off mr oh i know i like that no i got i got i got i got one in the chamber enough times passed where i got the bulletin this morning going it's all and i said you nice but i'll tell you man, just from my experimental point of view just to know the data when you don't touch it for a while, you think it'd be a raging bull, it just starts to like deflate

and die. So like my penis is just dying on my body. Which one day, hopefully it'll just completely go which would be nice. Then I can totally then I can totally lock in. Then I'll get a five minute a mile. You're really going to be running and listening to Aztec books smoking a cigar without a dick.

Then I can really focus. But yeah, I appreciate that that's what you're going for. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I don't know. I'm done. Dude, it would be so nice to be done with it completely, but I don't think I am because I had very erotic dreams last night that were incredibly troubling. I can't even talk about it.

They were troubling? They were so bad, yeah. They were so bad. Who was it? I was just, like, having sex with my wife so much, dude, it was fucking crazy. Yeah, true. I was just, like, making my wife come on night. My dreams was fucking crazy.

That's awesome. Yeah, it was tight. We're actually making a movie, actually. It's pretty tight. What's that? It was, I was being, I had to film myself having, sex for a movie last night oh yeah like my wife obviously was like blowing me nonstop preparation of the role

god lord dude you got a jack off you got a jack off dude it was trouble like the dream enough of this the dream came to my head a couple times with the podcast and I got kind of wobbled like I would just remember new things from him like man that was so fucked up that dream is so fucking crazy one and not even not even a wet dream either I don't know what it is You better not

Have a fucking wet dream I haven't I thought last night Should have been the night Not a dribble Not a dribble, not a drop It's time Not a dribble not a drop

We'll see It's time Matt I've been on the fence A couple times dude But I'm in the brother chat I can't be the first to fall You're gonna chat about it? Yeah me and my brothers

Dude We're fucking we talk about Not jerking off in the chat Oh is this where you found out About the Covenant app Not my other friends That me the Covenant app which I was like that's good information thank you so brothers and it's not it's not gay bill it's

it's me gay bill and tom gay bill has a part of it bill gay bill low key hasn't fapped in the longest out of all of us my brother kevin is still holding down fapping rules shout out of kev yeah sure i brought him in he's like you guys are fucking weird get me out of this group chat that's disgusting talking your brothers about it let me read dude it's the chat might be the funny that's got to be so funny the chat's got to be so funny the chat you tom and Bill? Yeah, and Kevin, reluctantly and Kevin. Let me see. I'm trying to see you the last thing. Everything I see in there, I'm always like, damn, this is the weirdest. Let me get in that chat. I'll start talking to you guys and seeing everybody spas.

Dude, you'll get kicked out of the chat. Kick me out. I just want to get in there and post a hot babe. Send the brothers into a spiral. This is the chat. I won't say who you're from, wasn't me. I swear to God, this wasn't make this a Sunday. Came super close to a wet dream last night. Subject matter. Never mind.

I can't even read that. Thank you for the update from Kevin. Please let me know when you come in your pants. Is it your brothers? The other person goes, ha-ha, I sleep naked. I worry my non-guuting way is going to lead to an unplanned pregnancy. My un-vax sperm can swim across bed sheets.

I know who that was. I told, my response actually was wet dream, totally fine, even ones of a homosexual. nature don't worry about it that would suck that would fucking blow a homosexual wet dream would be homosexual wet dream would suck you're gay at that point you're you have to come out to your dad no there's just a dream there's nothing there's nothing you can do if you bust you have to come out to your family say guys last night last night I had just include your mom and dad in the group chat just go I had a wet dream to the gay sex

at which I've had a thousand of them but I've never came last night I've fully fucking came and I just want to tell you guys about that now that I'm starting my new life sale or just be gay in your dreams be like look I'm straight to hell it's like what's that show severance

severance my dreams I'm just gay as hell there's got to be someone that every night I mean there's got to be a lot of guys every night I have fucking gay dreams nuts that's why he was sleeping

at the bar he knew it was coming that rickshall got him excited he was like the only place I can be gay stuck on a rickshall again he's fully and he passed out of the bar he was trying to get free use he's trying to be free use

his mouth was wide open almost like he it wasn't regular yeah he was awaking he's just doing keegles just fucking tightening that thing you got a jack on I thought we're having fun

We're talking about making a day. It's time to jack off. No, man. I'm telling you, I came close. Last couple nights, I've been like, fuck it, dude. I can't go. Especially since I'm like, my, I've just been so shrimped out. I'm like, dude, this is getting crazy.

That's where you got to draw a line. Shrimp out. Let me see how shrimps I can get. I want to go. I appreciate that. Going all the way micro, going totally micro. We'll see. If I, dude, if I'm like completely microed again, I might have sex tonight.

So we'll see. I hope you do. If I get like a, at first it's just fucking log jamming. You have wicked hard ragers and that's nice. Logging, wicked hard ragers. And there was a couple times where I was going, well, I'm not log jamming right now. What the hell? I should be.

Should be jamming right now. I'm fucking gone. Yes. I should be jamming right now. It's just spaghetti night right now. Spaghetti night again. In the moon every night. Yeah, I go, I'm definitely turned 40 this year.

I can tell. my body sending me messages saying hey you're turning 40 this year now you have a tinius now you have giant balls we'll see I'll give you the full update I smashed my nuts getting out of the car today yeah I went and got coffee and when I got out of the car

would you sit on them or it's got one of those seats that kind of yeah rips you grip to the bottom of my sack oh sorry just get out of the car I was like just holding a guy shit my hands i was like oh oh i've caught a couple of full rockers in the nuts like not too long with the or like i scream yeah it's my chloe's three so they're at the eight we hate rapping our balls are getting big yeah it's true we're gazed up dude i've got like

an off the ropes elbow full like off a coffee table it's land yeah it's insane dude fully there also dude like i was taking a shit this morning and i was like it smelled so it was smelled awful it was a new smell it was it's always alarming when you unlock it exactly you're like wait a second yeah you're like this is pond mixed with yeah it's it was bad it was it was very very like yeah aqua aqua bay smell and the uh dude and like my fucking my kids think it's funny to like bust in on me when i'm taking a shit which it is they got it from my dad but they got hit true they got hit with the wall of smell so i watched my one kid walk in yeah, ha ha, ah, and just, like, ran out of the room, and I was like, look at the swamp thing

was in there. You feel, you feel so powerful, dude. That is nice. It was a muck. People trying to play a prank on you go, well, how about this? And how about bang? Powers. Hit the invisible wall.

It's frills. It was like. You used the force field. Confused. I used the force on her. Felt so, because you know when you come in on your dad smells and you go, oh my God, being on the other end of that is fucking nice. Yeah, that's nice.

Just full doors. I think I was wiping my ass. And I was like, get out of here. You were, oh. I did we talk about it in L.A.? I hit my babe with one of those. Did you? She came back, I just took a dump,

and she came back in the hotel room, and it was crazy. It was a new smell dump. It was like, what is happening? She came in and it was like, holy shit, this whole, the whole hotel sunk. She had to open the door,

the doors on the balcony. I was laying in bed, like, shut the fuck up. I just shit, you don't. They love it, dude. Yeah, she was, everybody loves it. They love it. Shaming someone for his stinky dump is so funny.

saying they love the stinky dump they fucking love it dude they ate every second of it they're going oh my god the stink so bad they're going ah they fucking love it yeah they're like freesayers they can only see your future when they're smell you're dumb they smell the dump and they go and they have visions like the fucking three-eyed raven what's what's the consensus in the brother's chat about it's kind of quiet right now no i mean just like i'm sure you guys are all bragging about benefits no man it's it's actually fucking my brother sent me this shit he sent me uh he sent me this is just a babe yeah and then i was like on my phone my one over my shoulders she was dad you talking to your girlfriend i was like yo what the fuck god damn said i'm a fucking

girlfriend so where the hell are you getting that from she's like no no i was like wouldn't you be mad if daddy had a girlfriend would you be cool with that you know like who cares right are you chill i guess your generation it won't even matter by then i'm like whatever you guys should understand yeah let me uh let me say i'll say almost i imagine there's some bragging going on i mean yeah it's typically in the beginning it's been pretty quiet that's why i'm kind of you guys are hitting the at first it was nothing but like yeah at first dude look at first it was this just a guy cool guy long hair now my brother sent me slightly goon material i'm like yo bro chill man who's going to break first you think i don't know man me probably that's why i'm trying not to be

the weak link people could also be fibbing dude fibbing about not doing it is where i've said it before it's where you end up with like boys in a motel room if you fib about fibbing then you just yeah yeah you end up fucking doing something bad yeah because you go what else gonna what other secrets i can get away with anything true i want to text me now but i hope every day is a beautiful mystery for you yeah yeah yeah yeah those those letters were crazy bro yeah do you think trump had swag like that back in the day i think he did his boy i sound i don't know man that's like one of those ones that's so spot on that you're like somebody that'd be a genius to come up with that yeah you're a beautiful enigma may every

day be a beautiful mystery for you my friend stay mysterious that's if he wrote that i'm done with him it's kind of i mean it is hyper swag to just write a pedophile letter I'd ever be like, you're a beautiful little mystery. A little secret. You're my secret. Although those dudes, yeah, I mean, that's never mind. I like that everyone's running with the Epstein thing now. What do you mean?

They're just like, Trump's on the list. It's like, yeah, we all knew that. Yeah, the whole time. We knew it. Although everyone was holding out hope that he was with the staff. You could still be on the list and hang out with the staff, dude. Yeah, I'll be love. If you went and hung out with the staff, you're on the list.

Yeah, I'll be honest. I heard he was on the list and I turned. kind of a blind eye where I was just kind of like no I knew it and I was like we'll see what comes out but yeah I was more focused on gates because I was like at least they didn't hang out after he you want gate I want to yeah you'll bring him down

I do well also apparently it's like on the record they're hanging out after he was busted as a pedo yeah so I in my head I was going and I you know I don't whatever I'm not like the biggest Trump supporter but it's like maybe he hung out of him before he was a convicted pito yeah but

is there any info on that like did they bro down after the conviction that's that's the real when was the the first one in florida was it late 90s oh oh okay it was like oh 7 it was under obama oh never mind didn't didn't trump spaz after the epstein stuff didn't go his way and didn't he like all arrest obama as like a recovery such a funny thing but did your pedophile but did all arrest obama if you guys keep calling me a pedophile i'm gonna arrest Barack Obama 2008 okay so that was uh yeah that was during abamna so okay so epstein got busted during abamna yeah but all the trump stuff is from pre the the bust you know that's what i'm saying did he chill

with him after the bus that's the that's the that's the million dollar question was he his beautiful mystery then that's the question we'll find out next week true stay tuned stay tuned goodbye