Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 575 - Black Seed Fart Max (feat. Nate Marshall & Egan Robinson)

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support PiTM @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Nate Live in ATL @ https://atlanta.heliumcomedy.com/shows/328915 Go See Egan Live In Dallas @ https://www.instagram.com/_eganism/ Good afternoon. Hope you're all having a good week. The Big Kahuna's away on bizzz this week so the bruzz held it down in Matt's office. It's a hot cast - we talk black supps, bibe, japan, the juicy doc, and more. Please enjoy. God Bless. Get 20% off first order at vuori.com/secret. Exclusions apply This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Download the PrizePicks app or visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED today and use code Drenched to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Wild Wild West. And we're live. We were just talking about black supplements. Seamoss is the biggest. Seamoss is... Black ladies love Seamoss. During COVID, they got really into... Oh, what's that?

The tea. It's the tea supposed to be good for your respiratory system. My mom was always trying to get it to me during COVID. Not Elder Berry. I think it might have been Elder Berry. It was an elder bear. Elder Berry was a big one. Seamoss and you were saying Black Seed oil.

You're on the Black Seed oil. You're on the black seo oil. Although that's... It's funny. that that was a black lady supplement which I believe that crossed over I think black people

black guys black ladies too like because I saw dudes talking about rubble on their meats for like black people yeah that's what they're black dudes are sneakily on the forefront of the hardest boners possible

it's crazy especially you get like a Jamaican dude like that's why they're all like eat beef you need zinc you need to be strong they are right about the zinc that's crazy that they all know that

yeah they're huge on zinc that wasn't crazy Every country you go to Has some sort of thing they sell Where they're like Oh, it's very good It makes you much into the world Like if you go to like any island

They have some weird concoction They're like this gives you the hardest boner I've tried I've tried black seed oil I've only tried two things I've tried black seed oil And I tried I think it's Korean

It was like the ginseng Oh ginseng Yeah the red ginseng Yeah the ginsic I tried nothing I thought they just like Jacks you up I didn't know it was like

Yeah it just gives you like I feel like a metal buzz. There's a certain type of ginsink that is, I think, some specific emergency. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't think black cereal gets you hard like that, though. It's like an anti-inflammatory.

Although I haven't rubbed it on my meat, though. I didn't rub it on my meat. I did take a little, but I don't know. I saw, because I saw one thing that said it worked rubbing it on your meat, and then I saw another thing that the guy was like, my meat broke out. You don't want your meat to break out.

No, no. A meat breakout is, no. I've had a meat breakout. I've literally survived. I'm a meat breakout survivor and it's, dude, it's not pretty Because you panic and you make it worse By trying all these other things you read about on the internet

And your meat just gets worse and worse Oh, I just not to stay on the subject of meat I know, dude I got a, I had a horrible meat moment the other day What happened? I was trying to, I was trying to like just I was with my girl all day So I was trying to like risz her up all day

Do you little flirty shit here and there I'm moving around get myself charged up get her charged up nice but I don't know if I like gave myself blue ball I think I gave myself blue balls you got too charged up hold on what were you doing to get her like hyped up

just like just like flurdy she like grabbing her ass yeah for sure just flurdy stuff grabbing her yeah hit to hitting titty squeezes like way walking through a store like nobody's around this all day she used she was in the center of the minotars maze and just like I don't know

we're like mid-fuck I just my balls started like for real hurt I don't know how much Sean I thought of you I was like I hope I'm not going through Sean Sean during sex that's kind of crazy

he's a fucked up balls yeah he's a fucked up ball fucked up asshole survivor yeah I'm sorry my gut my nuts in my butt are all fucked really yeah my guts pretty bad

is your gut still fucked up I mean I you know it's mostly caused by copious amounts of Irish whiskey. Yeah. Today I vomited in the morning. Oh, man. Yeah.

That stinks. I had too much to drink last night. My favorite. But my butt and my nuts are okay. That's good. My favorite visual, where you can tell Sean is like he's crossed the line. He'll just start.

He'll go down. He'll just do this when you talk to him. You'll be like, so-and-so's fucking a dick here. He'll be like. He was trying to hang on the conversation. I had far too much to drink at the noctus last night but it was a good noctus that was a noctus was crazy last night

yeah it's so fun thank you for doing it thank you again true who's who have all seen comedy you know kind of bum that wasn't there I should have I should have pulled up my bad it was the green room was so fucking packed it was crazy it was a powerful green room sorry I went to a Bible study instead no big deal did you Really? I actually did. Nice. How'd it go? It was good. I mean, it was like the first meeting and it was like just like half like awkward dudes and half like kind of awkward chicks and then like a handful of like really. Coed. Yeah, it was coed. It's pretty cool. But it's funny because people instinctually like split the room just by like boy and girl.

Did they really? No one wanted to mix at all. Yeah. It was like a high school dance. Yeah. Not even. It was like a like a middle school dance. How long do you get like an hour? It was like an hour and a half. And then we went over like the next week's gospel and then just like. like chatted it out and like it's like all right floor's open and it wants to say what you thought about like one verse or whatever and then you know some people gave their opinions like so some people are like they're just it's like the base level but some people went like deep you know a pig guy or you like base level just sit there oh dude I just didn't even I knew I didn't have anything unique to say so I was just trying to stay quiet I'm just taking it all in but I mean if you get adults together and have to hear their opinions it's kind of torture honestly

I was just trying to find like a place in the room to stare at while they did it I was like oh yeah was anyone was usually in those say In any setting, it could be like a real estate class, could be Bible study. There's one person who the whole room is going, shut this person, the fuck up. There was one guy that like, every single, dude, it's like every, no matter where you are, there's one person who's like, I got this. And they just sound like a total buffoon. It could be me this whole time.

I was, I was in my head. It's like maybe it's me. But there was one guy who like at the, like, the logical end of the whole session was like, you know, this just made me think of like a like a Bible verse. Let me pull it up. And then he just like reads like a. like a three-minute long thing. It's like not about anything we had just talked about it.

And we're like, yeah, thank you for sharing, man. So, dude. That's kind of nice. So I actually, I've been a, I feel like I've been kind of circling the drain on a Bible club. Yeah. It's common. I'd like to do it. It'd be nice.

Yeah. Wendy's most important deal of the day has a fresh lineup. Pick any two breakfast items for $4. New four piece French toast sticks, bacon or sausage wrap, biscuit or English muffin sandwiches, small hot coffee and more. Limited time only at participating Wendy's taxes extra. It was cool. I'd never, I'd actually, you know. Old or new? You're reading Old or New?

We were hitting New. Gospel, yeah. Okay. But I never done one. Matthew Mark, Luke, Luke, or John? Ooh. I think it was Luke. I could look it up. They're fine. You should know that. I did it last time. I feel like a bad person.

Y'all are talking about going to like a Bible group and all I'm thinking is like I might be a piece of shit is like the ladies in there. Oh, okay. It's because I'm imagining them dress very modest and for some reason. In that setting, that's so sexy. I can't even. That's just the end of me talking, brother. Yeah, that is, that is the end.

But you're not wrong. There's obviously, you know, as soon as you said it was co-ed, my brain went there. I was like, I mean, they're probably three years out. I will say like, would be the serpent in the garden. When I was in there, I just like, someone walked it. I just clocked them. I was like, yeah, I mean, I'd marry you three. Yeah.

I, uh, I send those Instagrams to my wife all the time of like, there's accounts called like the reformed wife any of those like women who are like why would I ever give my wife my husband attitude when he gets home I love those ladies and I just fire him off here all the time it's it's the best is like the ones like they're like that's like live on a farm and like drink raw milk and stuff yeah yeah but it's like some of them it's not even a video it's just like a quote a lady it's like it'll be like yeah I could act like a big brat in my house but I choose not to because I love my husband in the Lord and I'll be like send and I go

Oh, yeah, this is so funny. Read it. It's like, I was just like laughing or whatever. You should probably read that. It's hilarious. We can laugh at it together. I'm like, but I mean, it doesn't have a point, though. It's kind of crazy.

Dang. So you're a Bible study. Didn't know about noctus. I did know about noctus, but I was like, you know what? To the Lord. I agree to do this and like, this is what God's will was for me to go to this. True. Not to go to the who's who.

Yeah. But then I will say, I left and I saw it like Tim was on. I was like, oh, that'd be cool to go see. Oh, fuck. I went to Bible study. I was like, that's what God intended. All right. Now, the Bible study rules.

Yeah, it was cool. It would be nice to read it and be like, just didn't hit that hard. Just be in there and be like, I don't know. I just remember this being better when I was young. I remember there was a moment when like they asked us like, what do you think about this passage or whatever? And people were trying to say like, oh, I think Jesus is saying like this thing represent this. Like he gives it an analogy. He's big on analogies, obviously.

and he does like he says like something about some tower building a tower I think the tower represents this I think it represents this and I was like I don't think it represents anything I think just using examples to see how ridiculous the prospect of being his disciple without giving up all your possessions is and then they're like yeah for sure all right you scored do you remember what the passage was um I would love to have a take it was the uh him talking about like um you can't follow me I'm gonna butcher it but so you can't follow me without hating your your father your mother your brother your sister your wife even your own

life like if you want to be my disciple you have to like take up your cross and come after me some and then like the rest of that he gives like examples of his name and stuff sounds like god would say you just a hate man's bitch yeah yeah well he's just like you gotta love me you gotta love me more than everyone else basically yeah yeah more than your mommy and daddy you do that what i love did you give up your mommy and daddy for god yeah not my mom it's not even giving up it's like relative to them it should be higher i would think it was a trick if he was like give up your mom If your mom was a God-faring woman, she'd want you to give her up. She would definitely say give him.

And I'd be like, but mom, you like, blah, I won't call you anymore. That's all I had to do. Not a big deal. True. That's time, if my mom's, I haven't heard from you in a while. Like, yeah, well, read the fucking Bible already. God asked me to not talk to you. God told me to hate you.

I'm sorry. No, there's a book called, I think it's called Light Through an Eastern window where they go through. It was a guy, I think from India, who went through the Bible. And, like, there's weird little saying. that you only understand if you're from like in Eastern culture because they really yeah there's a like the fucking the fish or whatever they pulled out there was like money and like it was money instead or whatever is that a Bible story where they like find a fish but it actually contains a bunch of ring in its mouth or something I'm not sure sounds like a hood store

no I sort of got to find the bag Sean you look that up dude there is that a Bible story about a fish that like you pull it out there's like a there's a bunch of money inside of it that's the black see oil looks like the the AI overview says that it's this got in the gospel of matthew yeah um to avoid tax collectors uh jesus told peter to catch a fish and uh open its mouth to find a coin uh yeah so there's really a fish no but there's actually a fish in the east that is known for swallowing shiny like jewelry and fishermen would catch them and pop it out and that was the story it's like i don't have any money and jesus like go fishing right now there's any pops a ring out of the fish's mouth but

apparently there is there are fish in that like area that swallow they're known to swallow jewelry if you catch them you get sometimes a fisherman like pull a jewel out of their kill it that's cool yeah it's a whole book about it's pretty cool he goes through like every single little thing and explains like well this is what they actually mean by this he gives like real world examples of like just like weird shit like you read there you like why the fuck would somebody do that yeah but apparently there's a reason for a lot of it what's got you wanting to get because you said you were like circling the drain on starting to join a bible study what's got you do but i don't know just a chat vibe dude just read vibe

it was really nice yeah it's one chat vibe i just want chat vibe bro i mean you get it you get to a certain age where you're like all right man fucking i've read a lot of stuff and none of it's alpha me might as well read by chat vibe i could see that being a good and dude getting when you're married it helps if your babes on the vibe because the bibs in your favor you get vibe with you and your babe Bibs got your back all the way

No other book The only other books you're going to read Is like Mel Robbins Be like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Get out of bed, whatever I can't do both though I told you before I was trying to hoify Oh, you might not have been there

When I was telling you was trying to hoify my lady What do you mean you trying to hoifixing? I'm trying to have her be more of a hoe in the house So I've been like buying a bunch of dumb Hoh stuff I feel like you can do that Yeah, no I've You can have the vibe and still

you think you gotta get married though you had no yeah you're trying to unlock the true freak I'm I'm worried that marriage will lock away to true freak that's a big fear of my not true you think you think okay right what I mean

oh you're saying you kind of want her singing for a supper yeah I feel like I feel like when she gets everything she needs she's like nah true freak going away she's wearing sweatpants it's a delicate it's a delicate dance No, no way, dude.

I think that's where the vibe comes in, is that at all. Especially as a black guy, I'm surprised you're not using the vibe. I feel like black guys can lean into the vibe harder than anybody and it just, I don't know, man. It looks good on you. It might be too late for me to, but because it might look phony though. You think if I get into it right now, clearly not a vibe guy and just go like, I'm full vibe now. Hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways, bro.

Yeah. Yeah, you can for sure. It would be a good excuse to get a Jesus piece. I've needed a Jesus piece. excuse for my life i'm right through with i'll go shopping with you you want to do that i need to get i got a wood one i need to like a you want a little one i don't know i have a wood one i need to like it out you need to get a gold true i want to get some gold or some silver or something like that thing out for sure let's talk about jesus pieces and get us yeah yeah i feel like

it's a yeah it's a nice thing i don't know i don't have time for it right now but yeah it'd be nice to fucking get in a circle and talk vibe yeah go about to my bay, be like, yo, we actually talked about it. You're supposed to be a lot nicer around here. You're going to black church, white church. I don't go wherever. But honestly, I think I'm going to full of Mexican church. Mexican vibe.

I mean, that's, hey, my church, brother. It's a Mexican vibe. It's a Catholic church, man, more or less. Oh, yeah, they're going to always be Catholic, though. Yeah. Yeah. But Mexican Catholic Church is a whole different vibe. It's like a party vibe.

It, I wouldn't say party vibe, but it is a different vibe. Like, I've been to a few me. is in Espanio. They're pretty, it's pretty cool. It's fun to be like the one white guy in the Spanish mass. Like, they're like, you're one of the good ones. Wait, what is it called? A Mese.

Misei, yeah. What's that? It's just mass in Spanish. Oh, really? Mesei and Español. Yeah. Damn. This episode is brought to you by Viori.

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I, uh, doesn't the word, Lord translate to like Ombre or something funny in Spanish. I'm not sure. I I've seen it on a screen. It's like a, uh, the word? Huh? Caballero, yeah. He translates is a caballero. Yeah, isn't it just like guy?

Yeah, just, it's like cool, cool guy. I just heard of the guy I saw that one time. It started laughing. Signor, that's what it is. I say it was Signore. I saw it on there and it was like, it's just all the Bible just says, signor. Signor. Capital S. Senior. save me signor

yeah it makes me laugh when I see that damn well that's good well yeah I mean look we'll figure it out yeah but I'm telling you man I might go I might go black eye vibe circle it could be the move honestly I mean it sounds like the most font could get a little spicy in there

I'd be like look guys tapping everybody what the hell's the book of exes it's when the Jews are escaping slavery oh look at this what the hell worldwide institution turns out just kidding

I'm just kidding I'm Josh I would never violate a black Bible study with right wing talking points I bet you get in there it's probably more of it going on the thing oh dude big time yeah dude

black people are conservative I swear to God like every every black person you talk to one-on-one hits very conservative talking points for the most part but it'll happen and then they'll be like you'll be like that sounds like some Republican-ass shit and then people are like no

I know no it's like eh I don't know yeah maybe I don't know it's not as much they're not it's not like hardcore damn line though because they're racist black people are racist as hell I can confirm that for sure I'll confirm it so racist yeah that's like my favorite thing it's like my favorite thing

It is nice to be like kind of allowed to as well I think we're losing it and I Bums me out sadly it leaves me for real mad Yeah white ladies are taking it from you guys White ladies are taking it from us and like we're not even allowed to be racist against like other types of like we used to be able We used to be able to make fun of Chinese people

To their face to their fucking I've seen it Now we just can't without be a monster Yeah 2020 2021 kind of did a number on that one for you guys Yeah I still think those guys who own shops post 9-11 I used to see some horrendous

displays and dunging donuts and just sit there like god damn lady you were fucking nuts yeah they literally yeah between like 2001 and like 2020 it was perfectly acceptable to call like an Indian guy Osama to his face at Dunkin' Donuts

it wasn't even like being funny it was like almost like poppy for Spanish guys like yo Osama put cream cheese I mean if you want to get back on like some of the Asian hate and like the Chinese hate just go to Japan you can just openly be like yeah the Chinese are loud and dirty oh they get fired up that's nice yeah I agree loud and dirty is so funny rude is a big one I mean so it's also how Asian do you have to be to be like Chinese people

fucking loud as hell man I get it's pretty nuts yeah yeah guys are out of fucking control it's weird when you do see them like when you're in another Asian country and then you see a separate group of agents in that country it's like all right I can I can start to see you can start yeah how do so if you're in Japan did you see Chinese people yeah they're usually in groups they're usually in groups and they're usually talking pretty loud serious cool hilarious and they just don't even like like there's a line to something they're like they're like they don't visually tell I'm not the best I'd like to say that I am but then I think we did a test last time I was on oh yeah yeah yeah and I failed about zero to 100

Butterly it was crushing Butterly really crushed Yeah he was That was pretty nuts Yeah that's uh That's interesting So they go to kind of Do you think that's kind of a flex though

On Japan where there's like They're just going to visit Yeah but they're here And we're going to get loud as fuck And I guess that's one thing I didn't realize Like going in Asian countries That's like oh I forget

Like this is just a place Anyone goes to like Of course Asians from other countries Would go here on vacation too I was like oh that's a weird It was a weird thing for me I don't know Gotta be interesting though

Because I know for fact There's the Asian non Asian beef I mean, it's Asian on Asian on Asian beef Because it's Koreans don't like the Chinese Koreans kind of sweat the Japanese They're like they're kind of fucking cool I think I think there's a shift They would give it up

They're the shift is uh The two best Asians I think the younger The younger generation likes the Koreans A lot more in Japan Really? Because like K-pop and all that stuff Like it's like a cool

They're like the cool hot like cool Anime is not like blending it Where it's kind of even though Yeah I guess it's kind of even that way Yeah with like the kind of younger generation South Korea is kind of crushing it too I hear Seoul is like the coolest place ever I've just never

It's never been my Steeds to go to Korea Yeah I don't like the food enough The food sucks Korean food Yeah fucking stinks

Bogogi great Everything else I wouldn't eat Bebebubes They're not bad But that's where China has them spanked Chinese food Fucking crushes Is it real but not real

It's the shitty Chinese food That's the best shit Dude real Chinese food's awesome Every time I've had like Authent Chinese food I was at a Chinese person's house at a graduation party in high school and they gave me the real stuff

like homemade I think they love to keep the real shit Yeah they give us the MSGs too Yeah I mean but the MSG is so They're so good Your body processes it in 10 seconds Shit's perfect Yeah I want to ask you

Because you're on the righteous path From what I Maybe it's just what Tokyo is to me But it seems like a super horny place How do you maintain You buy panties And vending machines and shit Yeah but I'm not a fucking

freak you know i'm not like i'm like yeah i was not nasty i say i've never wanted to do that even here if that was available here i wouldn't do that you wouldn't just see just you can't oh nice i wonder oh she had some i might not open it but i'm gonna keep it in a little plastic thing it comes in i mean yeah no you're not i'm going bullshit on that i'm saying bare minimum bare minimum i'm doing it i mean it's it's a horny place but it's like it's also a very like if titty milk bars yeah but it's also so separate from real yeah their bars would just go and get titty milk. I would actually get into that just for like macro purposes.

Yeah. But it's just so separate from any real actual connection that it's like, it just is just this artificial thing that doesn't feel enjoyable. Like you can basically pay for like a lot of parts of being with a woman. Like you could have someone just like go with you and shit or just like stare or just like stare at your eyes or something. But it's like, you know, on the other side. I would be honest, I might crack the plastic during a cuddle.

A cuddle stare? I've seen videos of people do it. It looks so nice. I'd be leaving out of the bed. Like, hold on a second. I had to get something out of my pocket on the floor. There was one time when I was like just placed in a situation. I was like, I got to get out of here.

But where the temptation was the highest was, was I went to Fukuoka, which is like the biggest city, I think, in like the South Island. And I was just there for a night. And I asked my concierge at the hotel. I was like, just asked him like, what's a cool area to like get somebody to eat, maybe drink a couple beers, you know, something like that? And he's like, oh, go to this area, Nakasu. Go to Nakasu. I was like, all right, cool, Nacassu, whatever. It's walkable.

I walk over there. And I eat at a really nice, like, cool restaurant. It's rated really high on, like, the Japanese Yelp. And I'm walking around, I'm like, oh, man, a lot of hot chicks. Hot chicks in Nakasoo. I like this area. This is a cool spot. And I'm like, there are a lot of hot chicks.

And then I was like, it's weird that they're all wearing high heels. I don't know what's going on. But I then I was like, oh, wait, I looked at, I Googled on my phone. I was in, like, the second largest red light district in all of Japan. I was like, I got to escape. I can just like, made this shit. They all had differently outfits. Like, I could see them going to their different things.

themed cafes and, like, bars and stuff, in their different outfits. Oh, wow. Which was kind of awesome. But I was like, I got to get out of a bowl. Did you go back and I yell at the guy going through? What the fuck? I did. I was like, what the hell?

It was all girl bars. And, like, the two girls work in the hotel were laughing at that prospect. And then I was like, risen them up. I was like, yo, what's up? I bought one of them a cheeseburger. Oh, you got them cheeseburger. Did you really? I was like.

I bought them cheat bag. Yeah, I didn't get any hookers. There's a cheeseburger. Yeah, I got really tired of the, like, all the Japanese grub, and this is, like, towards the end of my trip, too. So I just, like, I googled, like, cheeseburgers, like, in the area, and there's a place called U.S. burger. And, like, the picture on Google, I mean, just had just a white dude working there.

And I was, like, I'm going here. And so I went there, and, like, it's really good. And I brought back cheeseburgers for the two concierge ladies. And didn't give the guy shit. What? You didn't give nothing to the guy who was there who told you? Oh, the guy was gone. Oh, okay.

And just me and my girlfriends. Okay. Just eating cheeseburgers. did you watch them eat them I did I mean I ate them I brought I had one with them I was like watching like

it was like a muck bang I was like watching muck bang the burgers did you give him double burger or single double obviously yeah oh my god I was like I'm doing well yeah that's creepy

begging yes that's that's undeniably creepy I'm not saying like coming up you but if I came back with two burgers to just American

cost of years ladies was like well i told them i was gonna get i'm gonna get a burger i'm gonna come back and bring you one and i was like you guys don't believe me but i'm gonna do this and i came back like an hour later i was like at the burt i'm gonna do that at a hotel and they just munch they just house the burgs one of the girls were like this is like the best day of my job thank you so much like no one treats those people like you think that's a cultural thing like they had to do that in terms of like hospitality and they made themselves vomit afterwards no no no she she had uh like the security camera she's like i don't think like i'm allowed to like the work conditions there. It's like she would get

in a big trouble if they saw her eat it. So she'd like get out of the view of the security camera and eat the burger. She had to eat like an adorable Japanese lady. And you watched and I watched. Where did you eat the burg? What? You just ate it in the lobby on CCTV. Yeah. It ended up.

True. I did did cross my mom. You can abandon your post and come I was like this is a test. The cheeseburger did bring down my fences. What would the other one do? She took out of the way, too, and watched her.

You clearly had your eyes on one of them. I also couldn't handle that. I was like, I've got to go back to my room right now. Yeah. That's pretty cool. I didn't know you did that. That's awesome. Yeah.

Are you still no fabin? Yeah, but I don't want to, I don't want to talk about that. We don't, we don't talk about it. I've said plenty of that. I said, sorry. I'm all. I'm not going to talk about that. Still, I mean, what's the Bible quote do?

If you're fasting, don't tell people about it. I mean, it is what it is. I don't even think about it anymore. We just fucking crush burgs with ladies, dude. That's a high-team move, by the way. Thank you. I thought so. Brought you girls?

Yeah, brought you ladies and burgers. I brought you girls some burgers. I brought you some meat. I went out hunting. I went on hunting. I brought you some meat. Step out of the camera and take a bite. Fucking what you've made out of those whores.

he didn't go through a hole you came back charged up from looking at all the hookers went to spas when a guy saw ladies and just was like i'll buy you burgers i will provide for you and it's tight they got to see your righteous fury come back and say how dare you sir i was actually kind of pissed i was trying to be funny about it i was like what the fuck they were all it was all girls bars which is like me to the hookerers yeah he might be the first guy that he's ever had pissed come back pissed from that right well because he like i guess he clocked me is like this guy wants occurred back to Nate's question it does seem like

it is pretty normal there it's the culture there is so weird with like like you think Japanese people like oh like you know kind of innocent don't do bad like that much bad stuff anymore but they like cheating on your wife is like a totally like acceptable

it's a very normal like the cheating culture there is almost like yeah I mean I don't love her it's fine like it's almost like but you can't talk back to like your grandmother yeah it's like you could like go eat a stripper's butt come back to Thanksgiving. But you got respect to Obassan. Check the boss on. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's fair. But they sell at like the convenience stores. Like they sell like like white shirts. Like they sell like white shirts and all the stuff. Like they sell like the base level like undergarments and stuff you need. Like when dudes go cheat on their wives, they can just change into it. And they even a lot of places like some of the like the brothels and shit or like love hotels. They'll have scentless shampoos and stuff that you use.

Like your wife won't be like. Are you serious? Yeah. They're really big. on the cheating game over there. They figured it out. They figured out. Sella shampoo is,

that's kind of a deep cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. My buddy told me that. Come out of the wash smell like V-O-5. You're like, damn it, dude, our technology sucks.

How do you fight the fight all day then? What? Like, how do you fight the good fight and stay on the straight and arrow? While I was in Japan? Yeah. Or do you? I mean,

I was just going, I was just munching and drinking with the bros at bars. That sounds perfect. I was, I was going to bars. I was going to like the Isikaa, which aren't like,

you know it's not like there's not going to be young girls there it's just a bunch of old dudes and just regular guys off of work that i'm just like i was just drinking with them and just my running joke most of the time was just saying like um i was with a buddy and i was just like he's gay i said he's gay and japanese and they fucking love that shit gay jokes crushed there that's all really yeah me and my buddy connor were just going around to call each other gay for like a whole night and made dudes laugh every single time that is better than getting asses yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck pussy we're just going He was gay.

Everyone was like, ah. Yeah, it was awesome. I'm thinking about the reverse. It would be the funniest thing. Oh, yeah. Just at a bar here and two Japanese dudes walk up clearly visiting. He's a gay.

I would lose it. But, like, my pronunciation is really good. So it's like, imagine the Japanese. He'd only speak in Japanese. It then perfectly enunciates, I'm gay. Like that's like, basically. That was good. The move I was pulling in Japan.

That was undeniably hilarious. Dude, any culture does guys love a good gauge him? Oh, dude, brought that down in Mexico way.

They were fucking losing. Oh, it's so funny. This episode is brought to you by prize picks. Football is back, baby. You know what that means?

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Plus, it's available in 40 plus states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. So pull up, lock in a lineup, and pick with us all football season long. Download the prize picks app today. use code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. Man, I'll tell you, I'm looking at the picks right now. These are almost like gimmies. I think they're trying to give away some money over here. Just looking at Eagles, Cowboys, they get the line set. I mean, first off, if you want to win some cold hard picks,

pass yards, Dak Prescott. 0.5 yards. I'm going to say he's going to pass for more than one yard. Yeah, that's what? That's just prize picks having fun. So can people else? Also, I think he's going to pass for more than 200, 199.5, and I think Jalen Hertz is going to have more than 212.5 pass yards.

I mean, these seem... See what the guy can do. I will say this, though, a funny thing is I've seen a group try to do that with Aaron Rogers, his first game. They said, do you think he's going to have more than one yard towards Achilles on the first play? Uh-oh. but hopefully that doesn't happen here true anyway thanks prize picks thank you speaking to gay guys i watched the juicy smooth laid that dude what's what's the news so he's innocent what's going on

yeah it's did he produce it by himself too might have produced it and it's there's so many little things about it that bothers me from the very beginning at the very beginning he comes out and it's like a kind of dramatic walkout it's over the shoulder it's a dark room you know he's always you know Like the one-on-one shot of, like the documentary interview show. Yeah, like straight on. But it's the got him walking up to the chair. And he's trying to look a little dishevel in it. Yeah.

Like, you still got money. He does strike me as a master manipulator. He really is going through that. Like, I mean, even when they went back to, like, the clips of him crying during the interviews. Yeah. But he, uh, I mean, he had like a cut that looked like he was a refugee. He went from, like, his beautiful curly hair to, like, I'm going to get no shape. up cut low. Yeah, he's looking rough.

Looking rough. He wouldn't be like the Rick Rubin kind of look. Yeah. Like even worse, like, uh, I don't know, like, like, like the Nigerians he was trying to frame or he wouldn't not frame, but you, you know. Yeah. Well, maybe he didn't. They had no. They're in it. They're in it. They're talking. They're like, yeah, no, he asked me to. Like they kind of included that in there. They had the fool. I don't know. Maybe it wasn't him then because I feel like they wouldn't have put them dudes in there, right? If he was so, but, but, but I mean, like there's so many moments where he's trying to be like this victim guy and then they cut to something like there's a part where they're trying to make it look like it's the cops like the cops in uh Chicago were corrupt but the whole time it's like you called the cops on there's footage of I didn't notice when the cops came I didn't follow that story like that when it came out when the cops came he was still wearing a noose yeah it was crazy 35 minutes later was my original take years ago I was like what What dude is going to keep a noose around his neck?

Like, even as you're walking, like, you're running back to the cribby, my neck start is like, what if they're chasing me? I got this noose. They can just set myself up for failure. Yeah. So he still weren't in the, oh, then they cut to it. He was like, I didn't. It's not that I never took it off.

I just put it back on when the cops got there so they can see how. Just so they understand how it works. Yeah. Then he tried to say he was paying the guys because, you know, I got that check for like $3,500 that he gave. Yeah. they tried to say that that was for he's because they went to nigeria like right after it all happened and he said i was paying them to go get me steroids from nigeria that you can't

get over here like it's like a special herbal sales yeah and uh they weren't trying to they there are there's like parts where you get towards the end of it where they hit you with those like well maybe because there is one foot is one of the one of the uh like play a devil's advocate There is one guy who said that I did see a white guy in a box, which is also hilarious thinking of white guys running around his schisties. But the security guard was like, I did see a white guy running past. I didn't see him with Jesse, but I saw him running past. And there is like 10 seconds of footage that would show the guys running past that is taken out of the footage.

Like it does a hard jump cut, like a 10 second jump cut in the real, which is the only thing I was like, you know. Where do the Nigerian guys come in to put? Why would they say that he did that? This is how they try to say that they were trying to say the Nigeria guys might have been like flipped by the cops because once they did get them, they weren't talking. Then they raided their house and they found a bunch of guns. They lived together, I think they were saying.

And one of them is a felon so he can't have, so he can't have guns. And they found a bunch of guns there. And they were trying to say, there's never, there's not any like interrogation room footage of them making some deal. The only thing that they were, like, trying to use is there was, like, the lawyer, one of their lawyers was talking and saying that we can seal your records, because they were actors too, so they were trying to have the record sealed for, like, show business shit. Yeah. But there's not, that's, that's really it. It's just like there's a jump cut, which does look crazy.

It is like a real weird second of a jump cut. There's a white guy in a shy steve running around. Allegedly, there was a white guy in a shysty who got a flashlight shine on his face, but the 10 seconds that that happens in the, footage is gone so you just see them running past that's interesting it cuts that is uh yeah and they were they were they were like then they go back to this uh like shooting that happened um in chicago where they did that at a fast food place like some kid got shot and i guess they took 35 minutes out of the security footage and then eventually other footage got leaked so they were like that was like the long come around they were doing it was like they did it before here building it up yeah so

look at them maybe they did it here here too and uh yeah i don't know then they have one other piece of footage where they see one of them with the with the drawn down and you can't really see the guy but there's people who are looking at and they're going like that's definitely a white guy and then they're going to tell the people like that's definitely a black guy and then at the end they go with the black Nigerian guys on camera at all not there's only one moment where you can kind of see one of them with their with the thing down and you can't tell what he is they literally pass it around on the iPad like hit play to like the cops and the lawyers and

even to the two Nigerian dudes Nigerian dudes like yeah that's my brother that's me and then but the other people were like even the guy who was like it was a white guy who ran past me he looked at it and was like I don't look like a black dude to me like so but then there was like this lady who was saying that there couldn't have been any

like white people there were like ah that does kind look like a white guy it was like this one piece of footage that no one can agree what the guy looks like but their body types look like the brothers the brothers would yoke too it's like that picture

of like the dress is this blue or why why would he send Nigerian guys to Africa to get steroids because it was supposed to oh his exact word it was it's a certain

type of steroid that burns belly fat specifically that's all that's all steroids it's bullshit he could have went to a doc he's a Hollywood actor he'd go to a doctor

and get he can go on like hormone replacement therapy with a doctor It's going to get saying it's pretty easy to, yeah. He's going to send a Nigerian felon to Africa traffic steroids. For $3,500, like to get the steroids, take the trip, like that's... It's so sucks, bro.

It sounds like a big gay lie to me. It sounds like a giant gay lie. I mean, when they show the pictures of the brothers in the doc, they show one picture, one of the brothers, they show one of the brothers, this is the gayest picture of all times. It's just injected little draws. And I was like, oh, yeah, these were gay guys having sex, probably. and then it turned into a whole Yeah, the whole thing.

I don't know, I'm maybe putting that out there. I might be just throwing, you know, throwing darts at nothing. But it just looked like, I don't know. I ain't going to try to throw gay on those guys' names. True, true, true. I mean, they did put themselves in a bad situation. You know what I mean?

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SELOR Stellist lenses at your child's next visit. I mean, but oh, that's the one thing that got me too. It would be nice having two choice gay brothers? If I was a gay Hollywood alist or I might try to two choice

just top shelf giant gay black guys and they got a link on some steroids yeah and weaponry yeah yeah it does

I don't know they still doesn't hold up it's crazy those guys had weapons I didn't know those guys were thugging like that those brothers were thugging you one of them the one I was a fellow

and he had an attempted murder charge that I think got taken down to like aggravated assault or something yeah but I mean they kept describing the guns as tactical weapons Which probably just means they had a, like rifles.

Like probably just means they had a rifle with a red dot on. With an attempted murder charge, it's like, also what happened with that? Well, I think it technically wasn't his. It might have been in the house and I think you can still have them in your house. I swear it's not my tactical weapon. He got charged for attempted murder. This is like way before the juicy stuff happened. He got off, though?

I don't know. I think it got taken down the aggravated assault and he did get. Oh, okay, he might have been hoping on someone's ass They didn't get it all the way into Like that, they just dwell on the felony Dwelled on the guns And then all of a sudden nothing happened with that But it was like, yeah, maybe they just weren't his guns

And that's why nothing happened with it. Yeah, the story, if that's his best argument, I'm still saying Doesn't pass a smell test The only part there's like again that bothered me about it was Also the burn belly fat Such a burn belly fat is a certain type of steroid It's like that's not a thing It only gets you jacked

It only is he jacked. It doesn't burn any fat. And he caught it a steroid. You also can't spot reduce fat. Am I right? Yeah. It's got to be from the whole percentage. Yeah, that's a huge.

That's definitely a huge guy life. You can't, you can't body. There's nothing that spot reduces fat on your body. I bring in just like a resident like bodybuilder, but like you can't. I mean, there's no steroid that does that. There's a rich piano being like you can't. That's not. No stare at a lot, does that.

Then Nigerian guys did do a thing though that did trigger. This usually triggers my bullshit. thing is they are putting out a book about it and the book thing yeah the book thing is always like you know you always like people are like aliens are real and I'll tell you all about them yeah yeah and from being so into the alien shit it has me now like you're kind of late on the book though that book would have crushed if they wrote it like four years ago timed it out with the doc though they might have knew the time he didn't even really know the title that was the funny part is it's like a money grab like if you're the president you do a book because you know

everyone will be pumped Is Jesse doing the book Or is the Nigerian It's the brother And the one didn't even know the name Of the room Yeah The one that he goes

We're doing a book It's called Why you would What is it called again? Like that's what he did To the other brother It was so funny What's it?

But do you know what it's called? He did get it But it's like a long Dumb name like Why would you fake something For attention Something something The Juicy Smooth

Like it's got a long Such a funny title I want to It looked like they thought about it right then. It's called Bigger Than Jussie, the disturbing need for a modern-day lynching. Yeah, yeah. Some Republican think tank definitely.

It was like, guys, although... We'll give you the bag. Yeah, but like, the book will be nice, dude. I mean, what kind of... This is written by J.D. Vance. Hillbilly Elegy, too. Yeah. yeah that's fucking bizarre yeah it was a it was a funny watch it was i don't know it was bummed me out

bum me up that it was like a whole thing for so long watching people get worked up about it they had they were playing all those clips of people being like this is a terrible thing during like the first couple days people bit on that hard yeah they jumped right on it yeah people bit on that pretty fucking hard but it was all the people you think would like it was like john legend obviously yeah he's I haven't he's been quiet though you haven't heard much from him

he was popping for a little bit on all that stuff and now he's kind of chilled I think he has like a I mean I noticed from my girl he's got like a skincare thing and they were giving it away and I'm not gonna lie I have

something they were giving it away we were at the Nogne John Legend lotion it's even worse I haven't used yet but I have like a spray that you're supposed to spray John Legend spray

Ordinary people I didn't even know I was like Google it the other day because I started to put it on but I don't want to like fuck my face so I was like what is this and it's like you're supposed to shower or spread it on your face

like either after you shave What's it do? Reduces belly fat I want to get those Nigerian steroids Just reduce belly fat Don't do nothing else Yeah It's all I got 3500 bucks

I don't need a mission for somebody If they want to go to Nigeria To get steroids back 35 hundred $3,500 for two brothers just to travel to Nigeria. And also just just one cyclosteroids. Like, that's not, that's not really feasible in long term. You can't just get one.

You got to keep. And I don't know how many. Wasn't he already kind of shredded? He was already. If he was doing, if this is true and he was just trying to get some belly fat off of himself. So funny. So funny.

Even better. He like got. It's a lot for it. Murphy. Murphy's law. He's like, damn, dude, I'm fucking looking kind of flabby.

I need to send those brothers back to Nigeria. I'm going to suck their dicks and then send them back well hopefully you know hopefully he figures out what's going on I'd like the truth on the matter if I'm being honest that was the worst part of doc you go into it thinking like all right this is going to get to the truth and then they get to the end and they're like we still don't know and it's like no I think we did know and you guys are trying to make it look like we don't know did they ever just did they press the issue on the brothers having sex with Jesse Smollett no I kind of just they didn't do that I mean that's what everyone was wondering yeah it's because of the pictures that those guys posts like they the ones that I mean, if you watch the doc, I know what people are already going to say about me when they hear me talk like this. But if you watch that doc, when you see the picture, they show it this, nigga, it's like, oh, that's like, it's like a gay guy's picture to take. Was he doing, like, modeling or something? I think it did say that he was a model on there, but, uh, at socks, they leaked the underwear photos. Just, I mean, he had it on his gram. Like, I think it was, I think they were just pulled him straight from his brain.

What kind of posing was he, like, like, like muscle poses or is it like gay poses? well what made it to me gay is how small like i don't know you got we're in little like shorts this big on i mean maybe he's a lot of shorts they were like tiny little shorts that's weird it was like hot pants i thought they were briefs i'll be honest i didn't i didn't lock in on it i was like i'm fighting allegations in my head have you ever watched saltburned have you ever watched saltburn no anyone here watch that before i just it's i think it's from a couple years ago i just watched it There's, it's like a, it's all right. The movie's all right.

The, uh, there's a scene in it. Usually I can watch anything without like being like, oh, fucking recoil. Is it the grave thing? The grave thing was nothing. Oh, okay. There's, the grave, by the time it was a grave thing, by the way, I heard that was, uh, improvised. Really? Yeah, I heard that wasn't in the script and that actor just got it just got a creative spirit.

Yeah, his creative spirit took over. What happens? He just, he just, like, fucks a guy's grave at the end of it, um, which, but that to me honestly felt kind of overdone there was a scene where the dude he's watching a dude jerk off in a bathtub i don't want to ruin this is kind of a major spoiler alert but he like he like kind of watches in the wings and as soon as the guy like gets up to leave he's like draining the bathwater and the dude jumps into the tub and just drinks the very last bit of the bathwater and it was like dude it was it was so fucked up usually i can watch stuff i'm like whatever i saw that and

I was just like, ah. Then I did, I fucking, I'm in bed. I'm next to my wife and obviously I haven't put my hands on my pants. Why you put your hands on your pants now? I'm like, bro, don't even try. Yeah. Don't even accuse me of that. It was fit for real.

You just happened to go for a ball grab, but she's like, I was comforting myself of anything. I just got fucking rocked by a fucking bathtub cum drink. And dude, he went for it. The movie was actually, it was a cool movie. He said he was jerking off in there. Jerking off in the tub. I thought you, I thought he was.

He's a guy in the tub. He's jerking off into it or the guy. He's just, the guy's just having a good old time, fabbin in the tub. And then he brings his fucking freak to his house to, like, meet his family. He's like, thinks they're friends or whatever.

And the dude, like, you got to see the movie, but the guy, like, I'm never going to watch it. The movie is, it is kind of cool, but it just, it gets like,

towards the end, you're like, all right, man. It just kind of gets, it's a little bit much. Yeah. Imagine that and then like 20 minutes later, he's humping a grave.

You're like, all right, this is a, this is an ad by butter help or better help the help with the butta it's nice it's nice having someone you can try and work out all of life's problems with who do you go to when you need event need advice or just want to chat about life i call you i talk to you true talk to you about stuff you are my partner and my friend and my co-host oh they knew it was coming look at that i don't go to the group chat like this suggests because you're not going to get good advice

you're going to be met with a lot of animosity and racial slurs and things yeah my pet i haven't gone on my pet for advice but i have kind of vibe for my pet on another level um be but whoever you turn to your friend your mom your partner your bartender they're not going to have all the answers you're looking for unfortunately luckily they're going to say that about my mom yeah whoa butterhelps gonna say that about my mom that's crazy because i feel like my mommy knows what's my mom my mom has answers nice try better help therapy can help fill in the blanks like just chatting with a friend, therapy has helped me. If you feel comfortable, talk about your experience in therapy. I don't feel comfortable. I don't feel comfortable. I do not. I actually

don't even like being asked whether I feel comfortable. The help, but the better, you better respect our, or how we feel about things. Thank you. Thank you for actually asking the question, but I don't feel comfortable of that. Guys, see the difference yourself. BetterHelp can connect you to some great professional therapist. They're all carefully vetted to ensure you get quality care. And it's literally at your fingertips. Everything is completely online. Just fill out a short questionnaire to get matched as the largest online therapy provider in the world better help can provide access to mental health professionals yeah no sorry to mental health professionals excuse me with a diverse variety of expertise Matt it's okay thank you thank you god I love talking to you

I need I could I just touch your foot while I do this next line do not do not do I just please touch you why I do this next line Matt I would appreciate you respected my fucking boundaries better help you need to help this man he's he's just costed me find one with better help the help with the better our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash MSSP that's better at help.com slash MSSP

Matt what you've done is disgusting I need to talk to someone now dude I just watched a freaky ass movie you ever, even y'all ever see the assessment uh-uh it's uh I mean it's kind of nice at the beginning it's uh what's that Olson twin that's not the twins the older one

Kate she she's uh Elizabeth Elizabeth, yeah, she's in it. She's showing titties, like, it has to be the first 20 minutes of the movie. Just like, what? Just in the rain, see-through shirt. That's what's up. Titties. It's a lot of that.

So that's pretty nice. And, but it's a, what the story is, it's like post-apocalyptic. And the assessment is, like, I guess there's not a lot of resources. So you have to be approved by the government to have a kid. So what they do is they send a grown woman to your house to basically a. assess, like, the girl woman comes to their house and acts like a kid and

they, and, like, has, you have to, like, see if you're parents. Bro, this is the freakiest shit I've ever heard of. I didn't, I, like, I just was looking for a little with my girl. I started to bring this up last week because y'all are talking about those movies. You like, freakyest movie ever.

Bro, it's cool idea. It's, so, like, at some point, like, they go, they're trying to just like, she gets there. What age is this lady pretend she is is a question she's gotta be pretending to be like five she's like at some point at some point she just like they're they're sitting there eating and she just like does one of those to the food on the thing but like i mean she so she's like and it's like a hot spanish lady they have

like this hot spanish lady that they keep showing naked pretending to be a kid at some i don't want that's holly weird bro you're getting deep in holly weird it's crazy there's this one see i don't want spoil it because like no that's fine the movie wasn't even the movie wasn't even the movie The movie wasn't ass, but it is weird. I'm sitting there, like, I keep turning my girls. Like, yeah, this is because she picked it. I was like, oh, this is the freakyest shit of all the time. Ooh, actually, my plan might have been working the whole time, but I didn't realize it.

Yeah. But it's, there's like a bedrock. She picked the movie. She picked the movie. And it was of a oftentimes showing her tits, hot lady was pretending to be five. The child play. Well, I don't think, because we watched the trailer beforehand, it didn't look like it was going to be as freaky as it was. for sure yeah it just uh like and it shows her tits a little bit but they showed elizabeth olson's

tits wait who was elizabeth olson playing she's the mom she's like the she's the she's the they keep showing her tits they just happen to keep showing her tits so it's such a hack for movies to like i'm saying hack not like calling it hack i'm saying it's like a hack like a life hack yeah they just figured out like you can just show tits and it made it look artistic i'm not going to hold you i'm not because tits do make a movie seem like well you see if you see like tits in a movie you're like it was pretty cool and they did it tastefully it wasn't like a waste of time yeah I saw a giant rack I got to see Elizabeth Olson's tits didn't think that would happen to me in my life yeah what was her name was she Wanda Wanda in the Marvel

universe want she was Wanda she was Wanda she's like a big part of the Marvel universe yeah Scarlet Witch that's it and uh but there's like a scene where she leaves like basically she gets a call to like her sisters and having an emergency she has to go there and there's been all this like underlying sexual tension with the lady pretending to be a baby could imagine

because she's like she's like jumping on the dad's back he's got to give her anything and if he doesn't that's the thing that it's like the crazy loophole is if he doesn't act

like a good dad to this adult woman pretending to be a kid like they're not going to get they can't have a real kid how far do they push the line is a question I mean they go

what the two in the movie like so she's jumping on his back that's you got tits on back that's already a yellow card it's already and it happens how far do they go they they they they so what happens to be a kid lady the kid lady set them up though it wasn't it was it's it's a test so it was like a so what happens i guess they that that call the wife got that's like your sister's having an emergency i need to leave and and she and she pretended she couldn't leave for a second and then she does leave uh because the lady's like fine

we'll give you two you have two hours you got to be back in two hours or whatever and and so while that happens he goes to lay down and then the lady pretending to be a baby just pops up in the bedroom and just fucking grabs his meat and it's just kind of the vibe she puts out it does seem like she's going your lady's not here I want to fuck you you want to pass this test you got to let me fuck you so he's thinking like I really want to have this baby with my lady I got to fuck that I mean also he's like I'm a fuck this lady probably but he it is kind of like a reverse a rape scene like she does he kind of she coerces him she coerces him but he's never the whole time he's like staring like I can't believe I'm doing

how do they communicate all that in the dick rap because couldn't it just been like I'm a kid she talks she talks oh she starts talking like she goes to she goes full of dog in that moment oh she's like if you want to have a baby you need to fuck me and then he and then he fucks he he busts it he rolls over like I don't know why that was funny to be like just I can't believe I had six But That sounds like something I would do Oh I can't believe I had six

But I don't even I could spoil the end But it's just No yeah that's good Leave it open Yeah It is it is it honestly

I guess the movie They're always pie in movies Nobody pulls out movies Yeah he pied He pye He pyes He's sad pied and uh oh man yeah i don't want to spoil the right stuff in case by why it for real wasn't

an ass movie and it is a movie like i do think i don't know i think you so let's let's jump to this so we don't spoil the ending yeah what'd you guys do after the movie i can't i definitely we definitely fucked that day i'm trying to remember if it was before after the movie so like i think if i remember right that was a before like we order food fuck before food because getting older I got a fuck before I do miss the days when you could go out

munch and then get a good like now if I'm full I'm like yeah you're done I'm checked out maybe get some black seed oil bring myself yeah

it does it nice break out my meat dude I uh I was telling Sean last night we we went to

so we did the Oasis concert yeah and dude it was first of all I just forgot how big oasis was of a band yeah yeah fucking they're a massive

where would they perform soldier field oh so it was just they're only doing like I think like five cities in America so we go and again I only remember like their major major hits from back in the day Wonderwall yeah like Wonderwall Don't look back in anger there's the other one was there's another

Supernova or something Champagne Supernova yeah yeah so I go there and I was a little sleepy because I flew in that day and I'm like oh I'm kind of tired I might as well drink some espresso martinis I drank espresso martini I drank a cup of coffee

you know I'm caffeine sensitive I see so dude I I do that to get charged up but then like you know once that's flowing it's like I start drinking and uh we're in like a kind of like a box thing sort of like dude this sucks in the box let's just go down and like stand on the floor

but I had being like kind of already drunk and just massively stemmed up I bought a giant bottle of Class A as well Yeah And right before we go down I won't give the person's name away I don't know how they feel about it They were like do you want some acid

Yeah And we're like yeah fine So we take it we take a just a little bit And then we go down and then like I had also smuggled the bottle of Class A's wool Down the floors I was like I just got this I was like I'm not gonna just let it go to waste So I stuffed it down the back of my pants

And put tied my sweatshirt around my waist Dude they're like this big The bottle is enormous So I had it like a battery pack And I was just like Let's go And I was just you know I was like Spudden Billy were there

And I'm having them fucking cover Behind me So we kind of kept it tight in formation And dude I just like We get down to this like General standing area And I like pop it out And I just set it down

And put my sweatshirt on it And I would like People would be walking And like kind of be like Who the fuck is that I pull my sweatshirt off And I think like eventually like That first little bit of acid

Started kicking in I'd be like Dude I brought down a bottle class A's he'll help me And people were like, okay. And then people started actually drinking it. And then we took more. And, dude, it was, I mean, thank God we did.

Because I would have drank so much of that tequila and just been fucked. Instead, it was like, dude, it's, I'm excited for Shane to get back so we can actually like rehash it from, you know, everybody's perspective. But it was, dude, I, first of all, I, I embarrassingly was just jumping around to Oasis. for like two hours like and then I would I would sit there and I would have to like everyone would get thirsty and whenever I'm like kind of tripping

I think it's fun to go off on quests so I would be like you had to walk all the way up these flights of stairs to get water so I was like guys I'll be back I'll get water and I went up the stair first I was in a line down on the floor level first and I was first of all I was just waiting in line and I was like just I kept laughing

about how tortures it is, just to wait in line in general. I was like, dude, it's like an arrow to your, like the part of your brain that feels important is just getting launched every second with an arrow. Yeah, I'm just laughing, being like, dude, standing in line is so fucking funny. It's torture.

But you're just really standing there. And I'm just like sitting there with this dude. I don't, I think he was like kind of a Mexican dude. So I was like talking to this guy and I'm like just tripping, talking about standing in line, how funny it is. And he's like, you know, I'm trying to get some coke man i was like oh cool dude

well good luck with that he thought you would a guy dude i was i was bucked and then he uh he was like if we go all the way upstairs we can i heard we can there's no line if we like walk all the up there so that's how we discovered like to get water yeah so all night i would just be vibe into oasis

i would catch my bros and they i was like we need to get water because i would just i see Shane standing there going we were we were fucking bucked and i'd be like you guys want some water and they'd like yes please and I would just trudge up

like fucking 30 flights of steps and then just look into the concession bar and you know core water it's like those plastic water bottles of the weird shape there would just be an end literally an infinite supply of those things and I was like I'll have seven core waters please they kept giving me a little cardboard tray to carry them

down and eventually they ran on the cardboard so I have to just like hug all the waters dude it was so much fun but the main the main thing How many times did you make the trip? How many wallace? At one point, my feet were soaking. I didn't know your feet sweat from acid.

I don't know. Mine did. So, because they kept being like, dude, I think it's kicking in more. I was like, this is fine.

First time I'm doing it. I've never done it like that. Yeah, for sure. I've done like a little bit of it before, but never enough to where I was like kind of launched. Yeah, I've never done it.

It was so sick. It might be the best ever, honestly. But dude, my feet were like soaking fucking wet. And I was like, I don't know if this is just like a feeling I'm getting. They were, I was sweating like a pig.

I confirmed later on. But dude, so I go, uh, afterwards, like it ends and we like, we're hanging in this like back area. Just talking for like an hour. We finally go back to Shane's room, talk for like another two hours. And then it's like, and I was, I was hanging on to the chill because I knew I was like, because it was wearing off and I drank all that caffeine, which they were making fun of me. Because I kept being like, I had too much caffeine guys. You're like, dude, you're on acid right now.

That's not the brown. So I brought one of those, those giant fat joints. I brought one of those thinking that, like, people would want to smoke it. Only, like, two people did. So I was just facing a bat. And they had the class Aizul when I was, like, giving that out to people, they were skeptical. And I'm like, guys, I'll drink it to show you. It's not late.

So I was just on acid, completely impervious alcohol, just crushing tequila and being like, here, dude, it's good. Trust me. And, dude, it was, by the end, the bottle got crushed. Some people are passing around. They're like, it's done. I'm like, good job, you guys. yeah and then my strangers that you met when you got down yeah i like squatted up with some strangers down there but then like i had my sweatshirt was just laying on the grass was i was like i don't

care about that sweatshirt anymore and as i was going to leave i was like oh fuck i left my sweatshirt dude a guy out of nowhere goes here it is and just threw the sweatshirt up and i was like okay so now i have my sweatshirt i'm like damn the sweatshirt found me it so fucking but dude so i go finally i'm like um Shane will be like oh man we should probably call it hearing up like yeah let's just hang out for a little longer because I knew I was like I'm gonna go back to my room and freak the fuck out because of the caffeine mix

I was just I don't it was ending and it was like yeah I think it was the caffeine really and I knew what I was in store for because if I have too much caffeine I just lay there and like my heart's off my like chest feels tight and I was like I don't want to deal with this while I'm kind of tripping that'll be terrible finally he's like dude because I had to fly

the next day to go to like yeah like a kid thing how early was the flight Dude, I literally The flight was 1pm Yeah But it was like I'd been up all night I didn't I was trying to figure out like

What time do I have to get up Yeah But I just set all my I looked at my alarms It was like Just set like 45 alarms Yeah But yeah so I finally I go like

All right Go back to my room I'm like fuck dude Here it comes to hurt locker And I walk in And I'm just like I'm like I should pack I'm like full on Jordan Peterson

Like I'm gonna clean up here And get this room in order And like Walk in back and forth like yes these are my pants I'll fold these up here and everything just took so long slowly started being like dude is act normal you're fine you're just packing your clothes everything's fine and I was like yeah but I could feel that caffeine feeling I'm like fuck dude this sucks and then I was like I was like all right I'm going through my routine I start brushing

my teeth finally caught the mirror and I in my first thought was like it's all been leading to this stand there in the mirror and it's like dude all right you're not feeling great right now you're a little anxious. How about you just like actually show up for yourself for once in your life? And it's in my head. It's like, how about you show up for yourself and you get super present? And I just like stirred in the mirror and I was like,

I'm here now. Dude, instantly just so I was like, shut the fuck up. And I was like, oh damn it. And then and then went to you said, I'm here now. I've been told yourself.

And in my head was like, dude, shut up. You fucking dork. And I was like, all right. Fair enough. Let me finish packing my clothes robotically.

And then dude, So I laid there, I packed my clothes, and I was laid in bed, and it was just like, dude, I can't sleep. I'm in a hurt locker. I'm just laying there. My heart is just like, it's the caffeine plus I'm still tripping. So I'm like just feeding into it in this endless loop. So I'm going on like breathing exercises on my YouTube to calm myself down. Dude, I'm doing just like any, I'm like, and I can't type.

I'm like spas typing, breathing, relaxation, anxiety into YouTube. And finally, so I get this one breathing exercise. I'm like, all right, that's cool. And then it cuts out. And I'm like, oh, fuck, what happened? Straight back to zero. And then I get another one. And it's like, it's like, almost like hypnosis where he's like do this, breathe in this, imagine this.

And then they're like, if there's any tension in your body, give it a color. And I'm like, yes, yes, yes, it's red. I'm like, all right, I got this. And it's like, now give it a shape. And it was like multi-dimensional polygrey. And I was like, that would turn into like a spiked dragon. And I was like, fuck, dude. You got a red dragon.

It was just like amorphous I would close my I'll close my eyes and it was just like new dimensions of physical exam I'm like this isn't working very well so I lay there and I'm trying to give it a shape

and then like it starts dissolving and coming back because you're supposed to like give the feeling a color than a shape and then allow it to dissolve into like whatever else it is

but I was just my visuals are too strong because they're dissolving the new things it was like it was transforming it at different things like a million miles an hour

and I was like all right fuck this isn't helping me with my eyes closed. And then eventually I had gotten stuck on the fact that I had gotten cut out of just through like constant caffeine use, nicotine and whatever else that I had like disconnected myself from God's natural rhythm of the days. Because it was like I'd been up all night I hadn't slept. I'm like caffeine hangover. Yeah. I mean, obviously there was LLC but that wasn't the problem. Truly that was that was a solution. That was a solution for sure. But I was laying there and I was like, I just want to get back into the natural rhythm of the day. That's all I want.

Just get me back into God's natural rhythm Please, dude And I just like laid there And I had to lay there for like hours For like that caffeine thing to fall away I was eventually It was on like black box Bible quote Just like quote just laying there

Like dude please help me And uh You had your Bible study while It was gospel of John A gospel of John on the YouTube Black Boxes It was actually very nice Was John say it called you

Kind of the chillest of all the gospels Okay I don't know First of all the beginning I didn't realize he starts like He goes back to, like, almost Genesis in the beginning. I'm like, dude, fucking... The word and the thing.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, all right, well, let's hope this fucking word helps me out right now. And he goes, it was pretty cool. That one was that. It goes into John the Baptist when I remembered and listening to that and, you know, all this stuff. It was tight. But then, uh, but yeah, I, dude, and I woke up that morning and just had a, you know, fly to the air. I had to go to the airport.

Yeah. You know, no sleep. Just like, bah. And, uh, but yeah, ever since, dude, no caffeine. Yeah. I've been back in the natural rhythm and I'm like, I can't break it. I'm, like, I'm, like, terrified to break out of natural rhythm. Just go out.

I'm still tripping. Just flash back to that. No, I will. I'll eventually. But I did get all my caffeine in it because I was, like, not sleeping that good because I'd always be on the caffeine. And then I wouldn't sleep because I knew I had the caffeine. And I was in this, like, endless loop of poor sleep that I was just like, dude, just, there was like a flash where I was like night and day rising and falling with it, not artificially titillating myself. And, like, it's been actually really nice.

But you're back on the right cycle. My circadians are back. My circadians locked in right now. Nice. No, no, Nick. And then it was also, I mean, dude, cold turkey, nicotine. Caffeine, I'd already been stepping down. No problem.

Yeah. That's my new thing. I'm going to start saying that during any nicotine ad reads. Be like, dude, it's literally not addictive. All you have to do is do all this do. All you have to do is. You just got to get back to God's natural rhythm. All I have to do is do else seeing it back to God's natural rhythm.

But I do feel great. I feel pretty fantastic. Hell of you. Yeah. So, um, well, the first. defer, I will say the day after, it was a lack of sleep thing, but, so it was a little wobbly. The head was a little, I would like

just be driving and be like, man, everything's cool. And I'd see a bumper sticker, be like, war is hell. And I'd be like, no. You just say, you would get, because I would just think, you were just thinking about like 40 million things. Like, yeah, fuck it is. I guess. Fuck, all right. Let's go.

Come on. I was trying to get back from the grocery store, like, is that residual assy? Is that what they're like? I don't, I think it was, it really was a lack of sleep, but yeah, I feel like the next day after, because I, like, stayed up all night was in the hurt locker and then i woke up on an hour of sleep and then flew home and just did like full family day yeah going to like a dance recital all this stuff which was cool it's very chill but yeah there was like the next day even i was fine but like i could hit

a thought loop where i'd be like shut it down dude don't even go down that just chill and then i was like i got like three good nights of sleep yeah i mean the second day i was fine once i got good sleep i was cool but i was definitely a little my wife was like you're right you're a little quiet and I was just like Joan Shrooms won't hit you like this I'm still I like I think for the ass I like The acid over I don't have done it once But like with the thought loops for acid

I feel like you can stop them off You can cut them off whereas shrooms I feel like They just keep going but they don't linger I think for the day that's what I was thinking we were saying that I've never I've never done acid but I've shrooms I'll go through all those loops but once the shrooms are done I'll be like you chill yeah yeah And you just have those thoughts like you still remember them

But you were like those are kind of positive I think I'll take those Yeah, I don't know. I want to, I'll definitely try it again. I'll try it under different circumstances where I'm not like out all night and just obviously jacked up on too much caffeine in a bat and fucking. Crescent. Crescent tequila. But yeah, I don't know.

It was definitely, it was cool. It was definitely awesome. But it does the next day I was kind of thrown. But I do think like if you stay up all night, it'll get whacked out. Good thing you were locked in those waters. The waters, dude, I drank so. If you didn't get locked in those waters, that would have been. What happened to me early on, what happened early on is I went there and I, you know, again, I'm like, I don't have like a particular like like, like a particular like nor dislike for oasis. I was always like, yeah, I remember their songs. They're cool. But I get there and like right away, I'm all my bullshit. I like the screen comes up. I'm going, who fuck did these cheesy ass? I was just being nasty. I'm like, these guys are so old. Anytime I would think when they started kicking in, if I thought a negative thought, it would hurt my whole body. And I'd be like, ah, this is going to be a long night. This isn't going to be good. And then I was able to somehow be like.

downregulate all negative thinking is off now just as like a survival thing yeah I just ended up having the gayest fun as time that's awesome just jumping around oasis like a fucking little five-year-old thing like you sing along with any of the probably if I had if I if I if those songs I knew but I don't I don't really remember singing along yeah if I don't don't look back in anger would be kind of a the whole yeah yeah yeah and eventually I did get into the screen pretty hard I was like these visuals actually are pretty sick. But no, it's, it is easier to control for sure.

Like, it's way easier. Yeah, I don't go down in spiral as much. I feel you do too much, obviously, you probably, that's when he gets bad. I don't know. I just remember trying to write down creative ideas last time I did it. Oh, dude. And looking at them the next day, I mean, like, I wrote down, I thought it was great. It says, everything is about sex.

And I'm saying, burgers, sex. Well, I was watching, I was watching luxury fragrance commercials. And I watched a bunch of them, I was like, they're all about, if you smell this you can get pussy like i was freaking there was a i sent myself an email halfway through thinking it was like the coolest shit i thought it was the coolest shit ever and i was like there i think literally wonderwall came on change just like staring at them playing a wonderwall and i was like do you want to read my email i wrote to myself he was just like dude not right now this is a whole point of the Johnson.

This is the song we're all here for. This is an email. I was trying to interrupt his Wonderwall floor. I was like, sit there. It was during a water trip.

I wrote an email to myself and I thought I was like, dude, this is the most profound thing that's ever been uttered. It was like, your nervous system is your responsibility

is your vehicle for making it through life. Please don't speed. Please don't speed. You were thinking I had that caffeine the whole time. I wrote that down. I was like,

that'll change the world tomorrow. I kept trying to like, seriously, dude, you should read my email. And he'd be like, dude, no, not reading your fucking email.

You thought somebody's going to read that and be like, holy. Oh my God. There was like 40 other emails and I was like, I can't send myself emails all night. I have to chill. I got to chill and enjoy

fucking oasis. going to start a revolution from my bed it was funny it was very funny the email was cracking me up I was like it was just sat in my pocket I was like I can't believe that emails in my fucking pocket I have such a sick email to myself the secrets to the universe in my pocket

right now there was another one I was a bunch of stuff I started to like write and I was like it's just a waste of time about doing this it was so fun though yeah we got the motherfucking awa well

do you guys have anything you guys want to plug anything you guys want to Jake the plug uh pain oh you go ahead I was gonna say

panties in the mouth please listen uh yeah I don't knock this the next one is September 16th please come to that

they would have been great thanks again Matt of course and uh oh and I'm gonna be at Atlanta helium October 23rd please please please

come to that um i'm going to be in dallas on october 26th at dallas comedy club it's a sunday 7 p.m if you can make it um you can find tickets just go to my instagram at eganism hell you yeah yeah thank you thanks matt for having me on appreciate it course bro yeah thank you man of course Thank you.