Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 578 - Post-Negativity (feat. Shawn Gardini)

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com COME TO OPTIMUM NOCTIS every 1st and 3rd TUESDAY !!! https://www.creekandcave.com/events/optimumnoctis helloo. We're back with your weekly broadcast. Fambly ep this week. I just got back from the old country, Matt and Shang just got back from the springs. Hot cast. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Chad Powers - Series Premieres Sept. 30 on Hulu Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, Wow, Wes. Oh, he's a pro now. Yo. Le Muz held it down, bro. Got that gator clap. The gator hands. That, that, boy, gator. Yeah, Limer did a fantastic job.

Thank you, Le Mare. Yeah, you did. You saved my bottom. Yeah, you're in Italy. Edited out in an entire episode. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, we did a full episode of us trying to break down all the world's ills.

Yeah, it didn't go. It didn't go great. We both stuttered and stammered like uncles. Yeah. Like, yeah, man, I just don't like... It's not nice. Violence. I wish people wouldn't be so mean.

Yeah, let's get that out. Both sides do it. Both sides do it. We hit the both sides do it for an hour. I think negativity's done. I think it might not be cool anymore to be negative. We can bring it back. You already had a good plan.

Matt explained his evil little plan already. You shouldn't see. I don't even think he should say the plan. It was just a funny thing to say. It is funny. But everyone's back, dude. You can't, you know, free speech, comedians rule. We are the vanguard of truth.

Fireland philosophers are fucking, dude, this second the government starts censoring us. You know, fascism is right around the corner. That was good. It was good to see everybody stick up for him for free speech. Yeah. I'm just glad they were all there for me. back in 2019. You know?

He's my brother in being canceled now. You know? He was canceled for what, what was that, 48 hours? Mine was a couple years, but no big deal. What's the doing?

He had to hold tight. He had to hold tight in the, probably a very nice kind of modern house on the hills in L.A. He had to sit there and just warm room and he didn't have to

lay on a mattress in Queens with two snarky roommates that were like, oh, did you write that apology? Yeah, I could tell. What the fuck? Cry baby Kimmel It's nice

Cry baby Kimmel I do like how he was I saw a snippet I liked that he was saying It was nice yeah We need unification When he calls He called Rogan a moderate

And one lady in the crowd Thought that was a joke She was like Ha You can hear it You like oh you got that wrong bitch Yeah they can't be nasty No one else around you laughed

It was you being a nasty lib Ha Yeah she can't be nasty Honey No one can be nasty now We got to knock it off. Try not to be nasty. I'm never nasty.

Nastyny. Nasdini, dude. Yeah, no more nastiness. We got to heal the nation. We're healing the nation with our truth, dude. I hope the government doesn't fucking get one of us. No more funny business. Get out of here.

Clap it down. For real. March in formation. Depend which government. That's what you got. That's what you got to worry about. Are you talking deep saber? No.

I mean, kind of. Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear what you're saying. I hear what you're saying, brother. So you just got back from Italy, the motherland? I did just get back from the old country. How'd it go? It was nice. It was beautiful.

I liked going to Rome. Rome was so sick. I was walking around, tripping out on that. I didn't sleep, though. I never adjusted to the time difference. Were you drinking Cheplin Brewster wine overlooking the Janica Loras Hills? Love that. Love that memory.

Love that memory. I don't get it. He's my video from like 10 years ago. Samu Heidi. Oh, sorry. But I was, yeah, I was just drinking a lot and I never, I stayed up really late drinking, so I never adjusted

to the time and that really stunk. So a little bit more of the same. Exactly the same, yeah. Yeah, that's what I was just saying. When I went to Spain, I was like, I'll be different over here. No, yeah. Stayed up until 5 a.m. every day.

I was hammered, woke up, the sun was going down. I was like, oh, shit. I day meals. I related to a year. you said too about how like America's so much better than just like convenience wise and comfortability wise it's like like Wi-Fi is bad outlets are dumb stuff closes your voice your voice changed in Italy I'm a little sick oh you have COVID-19 I might have Italian god damn you have like that fashion show strain that like kill all the old guys yeah sorry I hope you

don't have covered because I don't think so I feel pretty good now but I did get a cold I should the travel was like I don't know I was telling the mayor when I was going because I hadn't I haven't really left the country since I was like a really young kid I went to Mexico and stuff so I thought I was going to like be like I didn't want to go I was like I like I don't traveling thought it was going to be an expansive I was just like nervous I don't like leaving my house you know so I was like I don't you know I didn't I didn't I never got why people like want to go places for no reason and I was like maybe when I go there though I like have some wanderlust thrust upon me and I want to go see the world and like I couldn't have been more wrong.

I don't care to go anywhere still. I was so happy to come back. Yeah. It's nice for you get home. It was so beautiful. Like I was in Tuscany and Rome. Tuscany was like really rural. So that was tough.

Yeah. I do that. I feel like you're just like this is a green screen behind you and now you're in like a different location. Feel exactly the same. Yeah. I kind of. Stayed to my house. It took me a while.

Although I like, I don't know. I disagree. Ireland Ireland fucking rules Well that's what I said Was saying before Like I think if I went to an English speaking country Or even a country where I could speak the language

I'd be more comfortable Yeah How are that? People speaking Italian I use very anxiety And I'm like an anxious guy But when they start speaking really fast at you I was just like American, I'm American

A lot of them thought I was Australian though So I started lying when I got drunk And I'd be like Australian Yeah Yeah having those guys get in your face And like I don't know I did run into two, like, ruffians, though.

I was stumbling home at, like, three in the morning. I stayed up for, like, 26 hours as soon as I got there. I was at, like, 7 a.m. And, like, went to the Coliseum and saw everything. And that was so cool, because I was like, I'd never been on a road this old before. Like, I've never been in a place this old before. So that part was awesome.

Did you pretend you were, like, a warrior slave entering the Coliseum, and you had a fight for your honor? No, but it does cross your mind. I think every man in that Coliseum was. I was like, man, I'd get filmed into energy. I would stab a tiger in here. No problem. It's so cool.

The Coliseum was so cool and all like the old structures and stuff. Was anyone in there like, is everyone looking at anyone like fuck around and like flow? Everyone's just looking. I mean, it's just like a zillion tourist, like as many tourists as you could possibly imagine. Yeah. From everywhere. Yeah. How are mostly Asian, right?

Really? That's kind of where I was getting. But I didn't want to be rude. The big thing in Europe was they were all like, because, remember when we were young it was all like fucking ziz americans also now they're all like damn we miss the americans it's all chinese now it sucks we didn't realize how good we had it with the americans there's a lot of sart there's a lot of indians in rome too like trying to like petal their like water bottles and they're like they're mexicans i think they got well they got lost

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during the Volvo Fall Experience event. Conditions supply, visit your local Volvo retailer or go to explorevolvo.com. Yeah, yeah. We were battling an old Indian couple on the plane recently. We went to a wedding this weekend, and it was like, Just the personal space issue from the east.

It's a real tough one. Bro, like the budding is just like insane. Budding in line? The budding, yeah. We're like waiting to get on the plane. Fucking crazy. Old Indian couple just fucking butted us and I had to be like... Yeah, this isn't the fucking train, dude.

Back it up, man. Yeah. We're not fucking jamming in here. Wait. Yeah, chill, man. We got plenty of room. That's so sad. Like I was like front and center ready to get on and they're just like started doing it.

It was just like... Also, I'm tired of Europeans being like Americans are so obnoxious. It's like, dude, have you talked to one person for. from England. Yeah. Dude. That's crazy. Just scream in your fucking face. Start singing. We're not singing here. I like the singing. Don't get me wrong. I like the singing. I like the singing. I like the singing. I like the singing. I like the singing. But yeah, it is. But you get, you go anywhere. And it's cool to see a different place. But America really is. I'm not saying if you're like, you know, in Europe or ever, it's just your country. Like the way you guys live is embarrassing. It kind of is embarrassing. Like, everything's just the outlets are fucked up. Fix the outlets. Yeah. Like, dude, it's 20. Ben Franklin invented electricity. get with it yeah man that's from philly you're welcome i know well that's the thing like i was telling lemaire in italy they all sort of like they're not a very like the customer's always

right thing yeah and i i was telling them they all act like with like a sort of air that they were around thousands of years ago when the roman it's like you weren't there when the coliseum was being built you're just yeah a guy that was happened to be born here i don't know maybe it was all in my head they're connected to tradition they're connected to deep tradition that's how they operate that way they reminded me of like how people describe the French where it's like I feel like they don't like me because I'm American

but maybe that was just in my head. It's probably in your head a little. Yeah. Because I was always told the Italians are a lot like the Spanish and the Spanish were very they were like happy to see I guess it depends where you are. You weren't a very tourist heavy. I was more of Montanias. Yeah true. Off the beaten path.

You know me dude. I tried to go off the beaten path. I was like I got to get the fuck out of you. Off the beaten path was scary. I was really scared. Before I met up with all my friends, I felt nervous. Yeah, you're going to get attacked by a ruffian. I thought, yeah, I was going to get down on a molested or something.

A couple of young Italian boys started getting molested. Yeah, I thought I was going to get sexually harassed or something. What? As soon as I got off the plane, I was getting a taxi, and they were, like, guys that were, like, trying to do fake taxis, and I guess, like, charge you more. You know, they do that at, like, JFK? Wait, what? I loved it.

What's so funny about that? I thought you were getting on the fake taxi. You're about to get the fake taxi. You were about to get put in the back seat. Yeah, I was scared. You were about to get put in the back seat? You're going to get in the bang fiat? Yeah, I thought so.

I was you get stuck in the taxi. The bangboos. The Italian job. Yeah. And they, heist that ass. They kept out of getting me in. It was like guys with like neck tattoos and stuff.

They looked like the dirtbag Italians. And they were like getting the taxi, getting the taxi. And I was like, no, no. Yeah, you just get in. They pinch your butt and kick you out. They kept saying, what's the wrong with your head? They kept saying that to me over and over again. That would fucking piss me off.

I was so pissed. What's wrong with your head? Yeah, what's the wrong with your head? Tutto, tuto, tuto. What's a wrong with your head? And I was just like, no, no, no. I just kept saying no over and over again. Like, fuck your head.

Your head just sucks. It's full of dumb Italian thoughts. Yeah. I can't go to Italy. My wife wants go to Italy so bad. Why can't go to Italy? Dude. The Italians are the worst part.

And also like, I think you're confusing. No, black ladies love Italian guys. Oh. It's a thing, man. I talked to Nate about this. Black people love Italians. They sweat Italians so hard. I'm always evangelizing.

I'm like, dude, Italians suck. Irish people rule. And they're like, we don't see it. But it's hard pitching Irish swag to black people. Like, now we're just quiet and we just fucking grumble to ourselves silently. We don't wear any cool jewelry. And they're just like, bro, you're Italian guys are so cool. And I'm like, but I think Italian Americans are way different.

Yeah. Yeah, they are. like weight that's true what like the people from a tail are they like smaller over there too

or they yeah they all they all look like they're like a thousand years they look like pygmies or something you're little tiny bro like everyone there like they could be 20 and they still look like

an old person for some reason I don't maybe I'm just I'm just a really dumb American like I think I was like missing the chemicals that I'm desperately addicted to and stuff like yeah like I was like cranky

the pesticides I ran out of school I thought I packed enough skull when I went to Spain. I ran out right away. Oh, no. I packed six-packs. I had to go straight to SIGs, dude. Lucky strike, dude. I felt like a fucking G-I. A doe boy. Yeah, I think D'O-Boy. The Sigs are different. They have scary pictures on the Sigs there. Yeah, they do. They love the scary pictures. Yeah, I want to do a cigarette company where it's like warning, these are so cool. You might die, but that's also so cool. If you died

from Sigs, it'd be so cool. It's like you're going to die anyway, dude. Yeah. I'm going to do a big picture of a guy in like a fast car just like hanging out of the window. It's like live fast, die, young. I don't want to be scary warnings. You go to a discodeo? Disco tech? No, I didn't go to a disco tech. I was in Rome for a day, so I just kind of like drank outside.

There wasn't like any bar bars. You know they say? What? When in Rome? Did you do as the Romans do? I did. I drank outside. There's a lot of like foreign exchange students or not, you know, like study abroad

kids from like a bunch of countries. It was like lively. It was like a city. So we just drank outside. Like there's no bars that we went to. It was just like you sit at a table and they're like bring you drinks. Yeah. I feel like the lack of muscle mass in Europe's humiliating.

Yeah. They're real. They're small. They're shrimps, dude. I do have a big friend, my friend, my friend, my, I'm sorry. We're post negativity. I don't know why. I don't want to be negative to the Italian.

It's a beautiful country. I'm very pro-American. You got to put down every other country. It's just basic American first stuff that I'm talking about. Classic America first. that's right i stayed in my hotel was next to the anti-mafia building so that was kind of intimidating yeah there's like guys with silly hats with like rifles was the anti-mafia yeah i don't know what that anti-ma yeah it's anti-ma yeah it was anti-ma and they would kept like checking in

with me when i'd like smoke a cigarette outside the hotel because i guess like their politicians go there and stuff or whatever is that like that's like a no mafia guys can go in there I guess not I don't know it's weird so it's a police station yeah pretty much they walk in the past

where you have to walk in and go don't forget about it all right you're in you're good this episode is brought to you by prize picks Matt let me be honest I'm loving the football season

but I'm worried man sup well you know me always striving for perfection sure and so I feel like I've always got to get my picks nailed on every time.

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Big man. That's perfect. With prize picks, you can win cash while watching sports. I mean, what is there not to live? like join millions of users and sign up today download the app today and use code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup that's code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks it's good to be right so I just came from the spring dude I'm just fucking yeah we just got out of the water I've been I've been on my Italian shit I've been

watching a Mussolini show the fascistas yeah the fascistas it's a good show it's on some made up fucking European network really yeah I don't even know what it's called fake bullshit shit. There's a lot of shit. What was Mussolini? He was a bad guy, right? Pretty bad? Yeah.

He invented fascism. Oh, what? Yeah. Hitler copied him. Hitler was like, that guy rules. That guy's cool. Okay. And that was like in,

I've been trying to figure out like a good definition for fascism. And I think it's just like when you love the president so much, you'll beat somebody up. And the president's like, it's kind of hard to put like a real definition to it. But if you look up the definition to it. But if you look up the definition. it's that's why it's so easy to call anyone a fascist yeah the definition does it's like if you will resort to violence also it is socialism that's what I that's why I always I always struggled with it

yeah because I was always like isn't that more government so doesn't that mean it's left but it's not it's it's it's a far right version of more go I have fuck if I know yeah I think yeah I think it's like military led the exact definition I do I've looked it up 100 times it's like kind of vague it's like yeah I looked it up this week force I've looked at ultrationalist, authoritarian political ideology characterized by a dictator, aggressive nationalism, militarism, force of suppression of opposition. It's a system in which the government controls most aspects of public and private life and exalts the nation or race above the individual. Okay. So again, what the fuck's the difference between communism and that?

I don't know. ever got into luxury like automated luxury communism no that's a big talking point they're like dude the machines are gonna get so cool that you could live like

you know like when you're in communism it sucks because you can only have like a little bit of bread like usually the economy kind of falls apart there's guys that are saying like one day we'll have such good automation that everything will be on demand but we'll be like it's like luxury communism just like yeah sure

let me know when you guys figure that out a thousand years away I know I know I know like we're not close yeah Rogan Rogan was talking about last night because he loves the AI

and I'm just sitting there like I'm not worried about it is he worried or he's like AI's yeah and he talks to those guys yeah yeah those computer guys so they're all like yeah

I don't know I like I fuck with it here and there and it's like it just seems like super Google to me now I'm sure if you own chat GBT and you could like take the blinders off maybe you could be like

set me up a geopolit political, you know, if you took all the moral frameworks off it, you could probably do some of the cool stuff. Jet GPT, like, infringed. I was, it freaked me out. You got to speak up. Sorry. Yeah, man, we're not in fucking Italy, dude.

Oh, my God. Back in America, you got to pronounce your words. You get so startled, dude. He got startled, though. Just yanking you, bro. Chad, GPT. You know what? What is it?

No, no, no, no, no. What is the yank, dude? The bag's on you. Oh, yeah, you're gone for that. He was gone for that. I asked if I could take Xanax and NyQuil at the same time because I wanted to sleep on my flight. And then I asked something about like pills yesterday.

And it said like you can't take that with Xanax though. Like it remembered that I asked it about Xanax two days before. That's nice. You were probably in the same chat. If you're in the same. Yeah, it wasn't. Really? Yeah, it was a new chat.

And I said, I don't like that you remember that I asked you that. And it said, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. That's fair. It checked your Zany use. Yeah. Yeah. How did that work? Do the zanny?

I didn't take the zanny. I just took the NyQuil and passed out. Yeah, that'll work. It was nice, yeah. Nice. The flight was brutal, though, because I'm a hopeless nicotine addict, so. What'd you do? I just did a bunch of zanes.

I thought that was going somewhere else. No, no. The nicotine, I was like, oh. No, no. I just did zins and got really, really angry because they don't really help still. Really? I still really want cigarettes, yeah. It's like nine and a half hours.

Dang. Yeah, it sucked. Did you get first class? No, hell no. I was a coach. You got it. You got it on that one. It's so expensive, but you got to.

Yeah, I didn't do that. It's worth every penny on that. It was brutal. Yeah, there was a heavy set woman next to me whose buttocks was just pouring into my seat the whole flight. It's kind of comfy. You're a bit of a little humper.

You probably were like... Yeah. It was kind of a nice, like, extra pillory. Yeah, that's for real, not the worst case scenario. Yeah, at least wasn't a guy. Yeah, exactly. There's a guy on the way. I don't know, that's kind of, I feel like that's not bad having a big fat lady butt spill into your territory.

Yeah, that wasn't the worst on the, because I had to do to JFK and then come here from JFK. So it's like nine and a half hours to JFK and then five hours here. It sucked balls. But on the way here, there's like a guy on his laptop with like his elbows out in coach. That's a crazy move. My thing was, I was thinking on the plane, I was like, if you're going to work on your laptop, You should be in first class. Yeah.

Because if you, you ain't making that bread, you're working important enough to be typing back here in coach. He's trying to get there, dude. Also, I've done it in coach. You do it. Do you do elbows in? The Ravens were on? Just watch the Ravens game. No, I work.

No laptop. I'm all laptop on the plane. I know, but you're in the front. Sometimes I have to sit in. I have to do coach sometimes. And I just fucking elbows in. I do T-Rex arms and I just type, type. I was in the middle, though, because I had to get, like, switched.

I was supposed to go to Boston and then Austin. And then that got delayed, so I would have never made it. So they switched me to JFK to Austin. So I had Comfort Plus. I sprung for Comfort Plus. But then the new flight, I didn't get Comfort Plus. I got Middle Seat. Yeah.

I was dying. I rocked a middle seat, not too long. I like to flex on my wife. She's like, you know you're going to fly coach? I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Put me in there. And I was in there a whole time. Like, God, damn it, I'm so fucking uncomfortable.

But there was a big dog next to me. He wasn't like super fat. He was just a giant guy. And he was doing this thing where you just, it's actually really alpha when you just lay down on your trade. like that and he kept spilling into my side and he would like wake up like I'm so sorry man I was just like bro you can't help him man yeah yeah you're fine don't sweat it

if they say sorry it's it's over exactly and I was like and it was two big dogs and then me medium dog and then it was just like there I was middle deserves the armrests and it was like dude we're fucked there's not you literally there's nowhere you can go yeah he was just trying to sit politely but he was just

damn window seat coach when you got a whiz yeah oh yeah that was everyone has to get up that sucks I won aisle because I just like to get up. I like to move around the plane a lot. So it's like when I have to ask people, especially when they're like, oh, it's like, bro, get up. Dude, on the Italy fly, everyone's sleeping. So I had to

like wake the heavyset lady up to go to the bathroom. And I felt so bad. And I was like, I had to like poker a bunch of times. I held it for like two hours. I was like, I find a nerve and just you tickle bitch to the fuck out of it. What did she do when you, when you, when you, uh, she was so

sweet. I feel bad even talking about her like this, but she was so nice about. it yeah the guy on the computer i asked too and he was like one second and he like finished typing something i was like bro get your broke ass up i can take the number one yeah turn off the fucking powerpoint dude let's go i feel bad about being mean to italy too because my friends are going to watch this i was so happy to see all my friends are they from italy no but i just don't want to act like i didn't have a bad time it was an awesome time no i think yeah i think it was nice okay sometimes they all listen to this and people listen

I forget that. You don't want to be like his wedding stunk. Yeah, his wedding was the most amazing wedding. It was in the Tuscan Hills. It was like beautiful. Wow. How much you gave him for a gift? Do you mind me asking?

I gave him 300 and I felt like that wasn't, I felt like my other friends. He flew to Italy, bro. Is that not good? Like, I thought that was good. Just you? Or did you have a guest? Just me. Did you give him 300 American?

Fine, dude? 300 American, yeah. But like, my other friends gave him more and I felt like how bad. Yeah. I think that's fine. But it was like, dude, it costs a shit a ton of money. Would they give him $1,000? No, no, like five.

Some of them gave five, yeah. No, that's fair. You flew all the way there. 300 with the international flight, I think is kind of generous. Yeah, Joe, I love you. Congratulations. That's, yeah, that's a... Congrats, Joe.

Yeah, seriously, dude. And to your lovely wife. Mayor. Yeah. Or husband, it was a wife. Could have been a guy. If guard dog was there going stagged? I thought that was a guy's trip.

Wait, what do you mean? He was saying it was a gay marriage. Oh. I didn't I don't want to assume he was heterosexual yeah he's heterosexual yeah whose idea was it his idea to go to Italy or the wife's I'm not sure damn dude what a fucking marriage in Italy what a beautiful thing I hope that lady's nice to him because I'd be really mad they're both like the nice guy if I did oh yeah that would I would hold that over her for a decade wouldn't 25 years wouldn't matter 25 years I go remember Italy it was incredible I did that for

this fucking nine hundred thousand dollars It was so awesome. It was crazy. We were like in villas and stuff. We're fucked. Good about a house. Dude, the stars too.

Like we stayed in like a villa in like farmland. So the stars were like, I saw like five shooting stars. The first one I saw was like, that's a UFO. There's a UFO really. I was like free. What did you make a wish?

Yeah. Yeah. I didn't make any wish. I was so drunk and on mushrooms every night. We did a bunch of mushrooms. I got a sick. Yeah. Um,

that was cool. The lady who owned the villa. When I met her, I had to like give her my passport to check in. And she was like, you have an Italian surname. Wait, what's so funny? Sorry, I got a, that was definitely my ring camera. And I watched LaMere find out for the Chipotle is here.

So a buzz, I was like, that's got to be the ring camera. And I saw the Amer go. And you have to go back to work. No, I'm working. Chippole is here. Dang. I'm sorry, I'm going on and on about it. No, no, I went here.

I was at a wedding this weekend as well. And I was at a camp. It was nice. It was like an outdoor, it was like a kid's camp, but they did a wedding. Oh, I saw your flip. Yeah, I saw the flip. That was pumped on. I appreciate that.

And then I... I almost reposted it. I was fired up. It was a great flip. Thank you. I appreciate the height. It's actually easier to flip from something higher up. How tall was it like?

It was probably like 10 feet. You were hitting flips today. Flips of the diving board. Me and Matt went down to Martin Springs and swam in the crisp water together. Yeah, it was a far swim, dude. That was a hard swim. Yeah, we swam. And then we, I didn't realize there's a current in that thing.

Yeah, we got down. We were exhausted. We got down to one end and it was like, oh, fuck. We had the current pushing us and we were both like, God damn, this is fucking hard. Then we had to go back against it. And it was just like, fuck. Dude, fucking, let's stop here. Get to the wall.

Yeah, I love that water. It was nice. I had only been there once and I was like, before I'd been there, I was like, what's all the hub of it? It must not be. It can't be that nice. It's the nicest thing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to try to start hearing that.

There's tits there. Yeah. If you go to the non-free side. No, no, that. No, the free side. What? People bust out his tits. I could be wrong about this,

but I think Austin has really loose tit laws. Yeah, they do. Austin does have really loose tit loss. Like, I think you're allowed to just rock them out. It's open carry. I saw a lady in my neighborhood who didn't look like a crazy homeless lady just had her tits out.

Just walked down the street, totally tits out. And it was just kind of like, that would scare me. Yeah. I would think something was happening. I mean, there was something happening. driving you're right though

it's not really that horny making you see it and it was kind of concerned like damn is that Lydia right it's like really mentally sad but she didn't she wasn't like if she was naked if she was like on drugs she was just walking just kind of pants on looked somewhat normal was just had a titty's out

in your neighborhood yeah that's really fucking weird it was crazy she should call the cops it was like a year what call the cops like bro I'm scared I might do something you guys better get down here 9-11, I'm hard as hell. I don't want them hard as hell.

No, it's, it is kind of, it's good they cover them up, man. You really need to have, and I, dude, bra, I wish there was a bra law. No bra fucks me up. No bra might fuck me up more than just bear titty's out. Yeah, bear tities is scary. Walking in a neighborhood, bare titties, I'd be like, that lady's having a mental breakdown. No bra. Yeah.

They need to stop. That's concealed carry. That is concealed carry. I like, I like, yeah, I don't even want to see your nipples through the bra. That's too much for me too. It's like if they're sticking out, more padding. Lock them away. It is too. Chastity belt, maybe too.

Chastity belt, handmates. We need Handmaid's tail. I've never seen it, but I'm in. True. Yeah. I don't watch that shit. Handmaid's tail, rock. I think I watch girl TV?

Handmaid's tail? That's girl TV. That's big time. I can't watch girl TV. There's nothing they love more than watching them being like completely suppressed and being like, it's better not happen so you guys

be happier I just tell my wife she's like you'd actually love this you'd love that no I wouldn't you'd fucking love it yeah I watched a brutal one

my wife had control of the movie I had a movie and then she got to do we did the kissing booth she's like firing up movie she watched a long time ago but you're gonna love this and then watching it

and she's like oh my god this is so bad and I'm like bro I've done that too Kissing Booth is You know I don't again We're post negativity But there's an aspect of the movie

Where it's a So it's about a girl who is like Best Friends with this guy And they're you know They do like dance dance revolution together And they're just like you're like Oh yeah let's go bro And then but then her

The guy's older brother Is an absolute hunk And she obviously Eventually fugs the older brother Damn But then her her friend Who's like the little brother is like I can't believe you and fuck my brother

And it's like I thought you guys were friends Yeah, it's like the whole crux of the movie It's so dumb And he also has a girlfriend So he's Does the little brother ever Get to smash?

No, never They're like They'll be like Hanging out in the pool She'll be like in her bra in a pool And be like, oh, what are you doing here? Oh, this is crazy Let's go, best friend

Kissing Booth Yeah, kissing booth It stinks It's a bad movie It sounds like a stinker It's a bad movie But it's like, oh, What's the fucking guy's name?

It's the dude from salt Did you see Saltburn? No, but Barry A, okay Keoggin? Yeah, the big hunky guy. I'm sorry. He's the hunk, yeah.

Yeah. He's also in for you. He's a fucking hunk, dude. He's a wild hunk. He's a fucking, there's pictures of me. He wears cool clothes all the time. Yeah,

he's a massive. He might be the hunk. I think he is. He's cool. What's that guy's name? Dude, he might be number one hunk. I think he is.

Aquaman is just too damn much, I feel like. Aquaman is like a mythical hunk. He's like a mythical hunk. Yeah, he's like, he is a sick show. Aquaman is a, It's about the Hawaiian Islands.

What? About like, yeah, what is it? Jacob Allorty, he is the top hunk. Yeah, you got to watch Salt Burn. He hunks out. He is... Aquaman is a warrior movie in Hawaii. It's pretty sick.

Okay. But I was watching it and I was like, we needed the British, dude. We needed gay guys with rifles to show up and go. Knock it off, hunks. Knock off the funny business. Knock off the hunks with sticks coming out of the water. So Aquaman's from Hawaii. Yeah.

Dang. Or one of them. Yeah. I think he's Hawaiian. That makes sense. He's like from where the rock, kind of where the rocks from, basically. Just think of the rock and Aquaman running at you.

And Troy Palomalu and all the fucking... Yeah. You need gay British guys. Oh, hold on. Listen to us. Savage. Let's discuss the concept of land ownership. Yeah.

He's from Hawaii. Dang. Honolulu. Yeah, they crank out. They'll crank out. They'll like spend like every thousand years or something like just like four massive hunks emerge some of one of them just sprouts up because they

they're fucking stocky brus come out of the volcanoes every 150 years it erupts and fucking six hunks head of the mainland and us whites have to be like get them out here it's too much of a honk yeah they come out and they're like cheehoo it's a moana reference I guess

yeah what's that Jacob belority dude he's a real bad man we gotta get rid of that hunk dude yeah yeah i mean that is a dude salt you have to watch salt burn it's i can't i heard somebody's sucking come out of a drain dude i'm not watching once one person told me that i was like i'm never gonna watch that movie it's just like what would happen if you put the horniest gay psycho around a hunk actually he's more kind of homosexual i think it's pretty funny doesn't he fuck the whole family or something yeah he kind of like fucks the whole family drinks come out of the bathtub

i didn't know anything about it drinks come out of bathtub's crazy dude it's and you're like you can tell the guy's obsessed, but it like, out of nowhere, you're like watching a guy take a, he's like watching a dude jerk off in the bathtub. And then you're going like, all right, this is a little intense. And then as like the last, the water's going down, he's goes, and he's like, literally, I didn't know that it was even in the movie. I turned around and I was like, Jesus Christ. It got me. I have a pretty high tolerance for like weird shit movies. Yeah, so can come out of a tub is fucking devastating, dude. That's disgusting. Yeah, feed it on the shower slugs. It's crazy, Dude, think of just the prosthetic shower slug they brought in.

Even doing that was disgusting. Yeah, apparently, and there's another scene. I don't want to spoil the movie, but somebody dies in the movie that's very close to him, that he liked a lot. And he starts fucking the fresh soil on his grave. And apparently, he ad libbed that from what I heard. Like, he just improv. They're like, you know, like, freak out and cry over his grave. And he just on set started fucking the dirt.

Yeah, it's a... That was Barry? No, no. No, no, no, Barry is just kind of like, Barry's pretty fucking cool the whole time, actually. Oh, nice. Kind of reminded me of myself, really. Wait, the hunk sucks the cump?

No, no, no, the hunk. So, Barry sucked the cumb. Wait, who's Barry? The little Irish guy. Okay, my bad. I thought Barry was the hunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that guy, he was a little Irish freak, dude, came in.

Suck. Yeah, he been coming in the bathtub. I'm going to suck his comb, I let him. It is funny because, again, it is a spoiler, but he, like, convinces the hunk that he comes. comes from this poor family of criminals and it's just all made up. He's a gay psycho.

You're like, my mother was an alcoholic. It was so bad. And then, like, they visit his parents and there's a nice middle-class family and he's like, oh, fuck, dude. He's all fucked up. Yeah, Saltburn, it is funny. It's a good Bay movie.

Bay's love watching, like, aristocracy movies. Huh. That's it, in my experience. I watched sinners on the plane for the first time. How was it? No comment. Yeah.

You didn't like it? it was fine it was pretty cool the fights were cool yeah that's it was fine i was a little i felt a little bad because sinners was great sinners was great as strong dude yeah it was i thought it was great and i thought it was i don't think it was like it was a evil white man movie either i went into it thinking that was what was going to be and i think it was kind of like bonding it was at the end yeah yeah they bonded yeah they bonded and the club i was listening to the director or the writer talk about why he made it Irish

and it was because he was like I fuck with Irish shit like I like the music I like the people and I think we have a lot in common and I think that made sense for the movie

it was kind of kind of sick that's not it whatever you say man I did I shut my ass up and listen the Irish music did get me hyped yeah

it was cool he wrote to Dublin that scene yeah it was cool I liked it there's the one scene where there's

like he's playing in the barn and then like a Bootsie Collins type character like manifests and he's like play that part I was like this movie sucks and then it slowly started winning me back by the end where he kills all the KKK guys I was like all right this was actually kind of cool again that's tight wait so like he goes beast mode on the KKK how's Bootsie Collins come up in the thing it shows all of black music history got you so unnecessary yeah it was kind of the gay shit in the world too they got to the twerking part which I thought was funny. Yeah.

Just be like, this is our culture. It's just a lady's shaking her asshole. Yeah, and like a break dancer. Yeah, it's just as good as old blues. Our culture is evolving. It was kind of like, yeah, that part I hated. It was okay, and then that part made me hate it, and then it sort of won me back with all the cool fights.

Yeah. It was some good cool fights, but the fights had some holes in it because, like, I don't know, whatever. the vampires suddenly became Pussies at one point Yeah it was like Yeah The praise and then all the praise

It kind of I felt like it was a little overrated Of course Yeah if you want to get into there's a neat It was neat flick If you go to whatever rides inside That Epcot ball If you want to get like a They do like a European history or like America

Kind of like Western civilization If you want to get that It's actually I could see it If you're if you're black That's probably sick to watch Because I was on the like That ride in Disney World It's just like

basically European civilization and like from like the dawn of time all the way to modern times and you kind of do get fired up like damn it's fucking sick I forgot I forgot I forgot about my ancient Greece and it goes all the way of the modern time and literally you end you're like there's nothing we can't do it's pretty sick yeah so

no seriously yeah I know it's just funny I mean America I know but it's funny to be there's nothing we can't do that's what you got out of that you went on Epcot and you got out like the white race I'm telling you that you know I'm the least race this guy in America, dude.

That's true. Post-negativity. But if I got me, Walt Disney's fucking anti-Semitic propaganda got me. I'm like, yeah, dude, fuck you. It's pretty sick.

You just start and has like these little like animatronic puppets reenacting like all the eons of history and it's actually pretty tight. It's pretty sick. I went to Epcot once. Did you? My dad just got drunk the entire time.

Drank around the world and I was just a fifth grade. He did you around the world. We didn't go on one ride. My mom was like, it's so nice, you're taking him to Disney. Oh, it's so funny. Just watch my dad drink at Disney. That's it.

Went on like two rides. He got hammered. Drove home, beast. That's so tight. Yeah, well, it was funny that you... It's fucking hot out here. Let's get out of here. Just get the fucking out of here.

That was fun. Yeah, I went to Disney a long time ago. My older brothers were beating me up for a lot of it. I remember I ran away from them and hopped on a boat by myself as a child. And like, it took me to Epcot. I just walked around alone in Disney World. That's pretty cool. It's pretty sick.

Remember I had still stitches in my lip and I just kind of like walked around with a big cut in my face just like went back home was like tight. Yeah. No problem. Yeah, a little 10 year old child.

What do you think about a Chipotle break? Let's think of a Chipotle break. I got to pee like a little timeout. Time out. This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Glenn Powell is Chad Powers. Coming September 30th to Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus.

Eight years after flushing his college football career down the toilet, hot shot quarterback, Russ Holliday, makes a comeback disguised as Chad Powers. Sounds like an oddball athletic talent who walks on to the struggling South Georgia catfish determined to once again take college football by storm. Watch the hilarious new Hulu original series, Chad Powers. September 30th, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms of Blah. This is huge.

This is fucking huge. guys we have some clubs coming up i am very excited here they are right now helium comedy club buffalo new york october 17th october 18th as well then bricktown comedy club in tolsa oklahoma that's 1024 1025 and here comes the big one off the hook comedy club naples florida november 7th november 8th that's gonna be a good one yeah be a blast october 17th and 18th i'm in los vegas and november 7th and 8th the 7th november 7th in San Francisco, November 8th, I'm in Sacramento. And then I got December 4th, Tucson, December 5th, Phoenix. So come on, y'all. What are we talking about before Chipotle? He so rudely interrupted us.

I think we're talking about Disney World. I forget. Disney World. Does rule. I went there last year, and it's, or two, I don't know, a year or two ago. I was, I was hating on it. I was like, just going to suck. And I got there. And I was like, nah, this is actually sure. Yeah, it's got to be awesome. It's pretty tight, honestly. It just gets too crowded, but. Isn't there, like, a conspiracy that they trafficked children out of Disney World? That's what I was thinking of when you said you were walking around alone. I was worried you were going to get caught up. Not me, man.

But no, they, not to be negative. Me, they like kidnap you at Disney. You could really snag kids there pretty easy. I could get so crowded. I got kind of,

I was there with my kids and at one point at like noon, it got so crowded you could hardly move. So you have to like really kind of hold them. They have like a tunnel system under there. And you know what they do in the tunnels. Yeah. Yeah. That's for trafficking kids.

I mean, yeah, it's, you know, if you were, like, a child trafficking organization, yeah, I could see set up shop there. It scares me, yeah. Honestly, I got the coffee jitters right now. I'm feeling weird. Thinking about child trafficking? Yeah, I'm feeling really weird right now. I think they get them, yeah. I think it's weird that I'm talking different.

I go to a lot of, I go to a lot of play places, and they worry about that there, where they, you have to get, like, like, a UV stamp on your hand that, like, matches your kids because if the stamps don't match up. So I think in Texas, they do have, like, yeah. they're like really worried about that because you can grab kids and three hours gone but yeah so yeah you gotta be careful there's even like a it's an old wife sale that the target near my house is like they'll like chalk tires if they see like just ladies with their kids they'll kind of mark your cars and they kind of wait by it and snag your kids when you come back I've heard about this could just be ladies scaring each other why would they chalk the tires it says like it marks that way you kind of like you have someone go by market then another guy kind of just checks and waits by

the car I guess I don't know to be honest that's a because all that would do is see if you moved that's why you chalk a tire really yeah i don't know you mark at a certain point that way when you move it's a different spot i was thinking just kind of like put an identifier on there be like yo if you see this someone coming back to this car that's can't be real yeah well yeah there's it's just ladies go shopping by themselves somebody somebody's like just giving a fucking hook up to a random guy no i think it's like one guy's the chocker then you have like the kidnappers i don't know it's it's just ladies freaking each other They go out and drink wine

They're like I think they just start shopping And see Mexican guys Like oh fuck But no there's There's been Through like the grapevine Of like wives in the area

I've heard of like There's a couple of them That claim to have encounters Where like a guy Was walking up to the car Or something like that I've heard of that I've heard a few of these stories too

What's going on with the guys I just want to snag your kids They're just walking up to the car You are mine I'm going to get you mine Hey can I have your child please I'd like to take your kids Dude, it's my kids now

Because they're building houses Near my house And my kids come out every morning And go Ola I said to Mexican dudes It's really funny It's very sweet

This one guy turned around the other day He was like Hey hello guys And they're like Ola English is boring Yeah As they do

The dudes get fired up There's up on the roof And my kids Just stand there And go Ola I'd have some One of the guys

On the construction site Smash my trash can What the fuck It was an accident It was with the It was like that, like, big, giant forklift thing. Just smash my planner and my, my trash can. Oh, shit.

Yeah, it's always, it's weird, though, because, like, I don't, I don't fucking care. It's like, all right, we'll get a new trash can. We'll get a planner. Like, they're going to pay for it. They're a big construction company. And, like, my wife gets so mad. I'm like, yo, this doesn't, it's literally doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. I had to go over and talk to them today and, like, dude, we're so sorry. I was like, I don't give a fuck, but. No problem. You got to kind of, you got to switch it up. I might claim neck injury. you should like dude I was right behind the trash can when you hit it

and now my neck is killing me you guys got to redo my front portion are you guys are a multi-million dollar construction company I got the plumbers at my house right now there's roots in the plumbing and I was embarrassed because I yesterday and today they've been there and I

went out like twice or three times and I was like I can like use the toilet right like I'm like asking them permission to shit I'm embarrassed they'd be like yeah I've had plumbers here for the last That's two weeks. It's invalibus. And they told me a time.

They were like 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. No plumbing. Around 12.30, 1245. I was like, it's got to be done by now. Sent a dump down the plumbing. It was open. I got phone calls immediately. They're like, you can't use the toilet.

Where to go? I don't know where the dump went. Where did the pile go? The pile might have come flying at one of those poor fucks. Oh, no. I mean, I thought they were gone, dude. Oh, dude, it probably flew out of the side of the house. That's what I'm so worried about.

So, Chipotle beer pile came flying right at him. Yeah, I could have sworn by 1245. Where did it go? How did the hell do they know? They knew right away. I think it's literally an open pipe. Oh, because they're doing like, yeah, outside work. They came back.

Dude, I was outside last night before they smashed my trash can. And I was like, so I had bought a bunch of soils. I'm like planting a bunch of stuff. and there was a guy behind the fence of the construction site just going like just

I think it was like hit with a dump they were gone dude no one was here it wasn't here I know but I'm back to defending mine because I realize

as a listener you might be very furious at me I'd be mad if I heard someone else do that I'd be like fucking wait I thought they were gone

dude oh the yeah true that's a really evil thing there's probably just a dump behind your wall somewhere there's been a dump in my wall for fucking two years

they finally fixed it but don't get me started on these new houses dude it's criminal framing with two by fours alone it's criminal move dude it's got to be two by sixes yeah they they really they fuck everybody dude everything's it's I think this is this is wood but a lot of the houses are just all plastic

it's like plastic fucking composite wood it's just basically like mush together it's they really get away with murder and then they just you know be like this is a luxury house You know, like, how? You know, it's in Austin. It's $8 million. This is?

They're doing it everywhere. They're doing Philly too. And it's just, they build them. It's, don't get me started, dude. It pisses me off. It's really, it's a really evil thing to do to, like, I mean, it's one thing to, like, save some money, but they'll, like, it's going to, there's going to be massive problems. And there's, like, sue us.

Look, I just spent all of my money on this house. I can't sue. You made the house $10 million. Yeah. It's two bedrooms. He took all my money. it's crazy yeah it's really shitty

especially here yeah they're getting fast and loose with the pool too yeah I walked outside that just the hot tub was empty one day

there's water I don't know you could have jumped in there and got hurt I know that's a big fight it's deep

it's fucking six feet deep cannonball in oh you hit oh fuck you just stuck down there we should get

real litigious could be top of us I'm gonna sue those builders for sure yeah it's time to start suing people yeah my neck I should have laid by the trash can like ah god damn what the hell man yeah they're pretty funny the guy was like you got a neighbor you don't like maybe just

switch it with your neighbors I was like brother fuck it I won't be doing that well yeah I think yeah well whatever I do think is a guy we're like yo we got it and then I went to like the actual was I guess they had a bunch of their subs and I went to the like the foreman or manager whatever was like hey just want to follow up on this and he was like what he can't even saw it and he was like you know who it was and I was like describe the guys no he was just kind of I described him yeah I don't want them passing the buck it's probably tough to I don't know yeah how did you describe well it was wearing a crazy

sunglasses face yeah yeah I was like the one guy was like a short kind of plump Mexican guy uh you should probably find him and that yeah and the other one was a short plump Mexican guy yeah yeah yeah now they got it on With the I.M. Spartacus.

True. They got it on cam. We have one of the, they have those giant fucking eye in the sky. It's going to be impossible. It's still going to be impossible. Like a Where's Waldo picture?

Yeah, true. Well, we'll see. We'll see what they come up with because my trash can is fucked up right now. That's bullshit. How do they even, it's plastic, right? Yeah, they just fucking ran it over. They just, like, giant forklift. It's sort of lull where they like lift, it's like a forklift that, like,

like can extend like a boom and go like up like three stories it's one of those they've been whipping those things around and yeah they fucking caught my planner luckily if i had something in and i'd been fucking pissed but it was empty so i got my watermelons growing i cannot wait to harvest my watermelons that's gonna be awesome when do you when does that happen i don't know shall we i think i think in maybe a month or two hopefully before we gets too chilly so i was i'm pumped about that i got watermelons and plant some garlic which is about i heard like a year long process Oh, I'm trying to keep the vampires out. You have a sinner's garden.

You have a full sinners garden. All right, well, if we're being racist, I was at a chicken chip bingo, and it was me and three African Americans. Yeah. And they feed the chicken watermelon. Do they really? Yeah. Get a shit.

Yeah, I guess. And I was just standing there and I was like, don't look, dude. You'll go crazy. If you see what's going on in there, you're going to go crazy. Don't look. You're talking about a watermelon fat chicken? Watermelon chicken. Like, don't avert your eyes, bro.

Tie yourself to the mess. It's like in France when they dip the pigeons in cognac. Oh, man, I think it's probably good eating too. We've talked about before. black people get a terrible rap for that yeah that sucks so unfair the most delicious foods i told you i was working with a guy one time and we're leaving a construction site and i don't know how we came into this wherever we were working maybe we're next like a supermarket and someone just like gave us some watermelon and some other stuff and my black co-worker was carrying the

watermelon i could tell he was walking home with it and he was or like walking back to the car at one point he was getting kind of uneasy and i was like bro you let me carry the thing for you he's like dude yeah i I just feel fucking crazy old this thing. Last night, Brian Simpson walked into the green room eating a banana. Tony immediately was like, he took one bite. He was like, oh, fuck. And then I was like, Tony, you can't eat it. It'd be gay.

It was also funny. I was like, you tie your hair back to eat bananas, dude. Yeah, getting crushed to eat. Food stereotypes. That hurts. Yeah, true. Especially, dude, fried chickens so good. So good.

And, dude, meanwhile, Koreans are the real fried chicken hounds. Koreans love fried chicken Yeah Yeah well they've you know They're protected the merchandise Yeah Yeah The Korean black connections strong

Korean black connection is strong True Very strong I used to work for a very racist Korean man who was stabbed twice That'll do it Yeah he's got his reasons He'll be pretty upset

He wasn't even Stab twice I'd be like yeah I'm racist Yeah the story He was in a convenience store that sold 40s he's like i worked in the 40 deli very bad neighbors you always go to neighbors the neighbors were very bad the neighbors got stabbed yeah he goes

fucking that's i mean sold down the 40 deli that's where he's wearing he's wearing his very socks and flip flops you're gonna die in there you gotta go down with the ship in the 40 deli 40 deli to north philly is just oh it's crazy polo fleece socks of flip flops being like oh wait a bit getting fucking poked for the 40 just two silver thunders like let him go bro they cost you three dollars let him go

they do defend their wares oh yeah yeah you're not shoplifting dude they're coming out no man broom you with a stick they have ninja turtle weapons he kept that thing on him oh really he used to love to show us

me and me and my brother worked for him he'd be like pull it out I'm like dude sick man fuck yeah use it pussy shoot someone you had a gun on you and you got stabbed twice I think that's, I think that's the reason you got the gun, finally, yeah.

After the, stab me twice. He didn't get stabbed me, he wasn't like, he wasn't, like, he wasn't, like, vitriolic or, like, mean about it. He'd be like, because I would, like, have to deliver to, like, certain areas, and he'd be like, be very careful. Lots of bad people. He's just like, you might get stabbed. Be careful. Yeah. Was never mean.

But, yeah, that was the one time he teetered on the edge when he. That's fair, though. That's like, uh, he gets stabbed. If you get stabbed twice and somebody's going back. to that neighborhood that would be like somebody going to like elm street you'd be like there's freddie krueger there so like michael meyers lives in that neighborhood so just you might get fucking stabbed it's a horror movie that's terrifying i've talked about it before but it always make me laugh because he's always rattling off business ideas and the one time he was like talking about

pet shops he's like uh pet shops is a good business starts in there and i was like okay like just waiting for another delivery i know what's next uh black people love it pit boo and I was like no bro come on but he was like not being he was like no no no

they did buy a lot of stuff in a petaboo and I was like sick I was like so where are these going he's like he's like

he's like I'm very careful dude was funny as hell I told you showed my brother's dick I forgot about this I'd like to hear about it again my brother's dick

he was just complaining how he couldn't get hard he couldn't get any power he called a power oh yeah no power no power I'm gonna steal that he like

and just showed my brother his gun and he goes and just flashed in his penis I was like yo what the fuck oh no power

dude was the fucking man yeah sounds like so funny that was a guy who told me if I get my girlfriend pregnant I lose he's like

I'll make sure to wear a condom you get her pregnant or you lose he's a fucking beast he's all over it dude I wonder what he's up to

now he's probably been stabbed at time by now he would sit i would drive deliveries he would sit in the passenger side indian style and just be like what do i just sing korean songs himself such a beast yeah he was a man he had a beamer and he just eventually just started loading it with beer the cases of beer and just like don't take my car and you you just trashed his car the Koreans are very fly it's they're the flyest asians by far so let it be known chinese people get fly but it's kind of like space age fly

Koreans is like cop beamers fucking crush crush fried chicken really sick they definitely peeped game showing your dick to your boys those is nice like having no yeah having no fucking

any worries at all just be like dude I can't even get hard look at this thing nah dude he like shit my dick it's crazy it's also too like you can diagnose

that problem by looking at a man's classic penis yeah it's really soft right now yeah dude you're not lying your penis is soft as well It's so small. It's fucking Tuesday at 10 a.m. God, it's how small my penis is.

What the fuck? We're in a chilly warehouse in December at 10 a.m. It's crazy. Your dick is so soft. I saw your face, Nate. You didn't like that. You didn't like that I got away with saying that. No, it's fine.

It's like, it's nice. It's nice you can kind of show your dick to some guy. And I just watch naked. He's like, and I'm zesty. No, I'm embracing it now. I'm leading it. It's fine. I just was, I just still had that thing.

Normalize it. You know, normalize it. Yeah. It's post up and be like, what's up, guys? Do a cool handshake and go, what? Bust out of your dick. He's a dragon egg for him. He's a dragon egg.

I'm going to hatchet. Wait, what? Excuse me? He's got a dragon egg. I'll sit on a hatching for him. It's a whole thing we've got to go. Yo, what the thing? That's that funny.

What? We're joking around. You're just sitting on the mare's dragon egg? I was sitting on the mayor's dragon egg. You guys really don't know how to joke around about gay stuff, too. This is crazy, dude. That's new to them. you guys are the first generation

to adopt the white way of being constantly gay it's like wait that's not how you use it what the shit what the damn yeah I'm gonna fucking throw up my boy

just fucking smack his balls yeah I touch your penis today he got me underwater what underwater yeah there's levels to this shit yeah that's how you do it

well you guys once you master here's swimming. You guys are going to get swimming and gay shit. Some guy was like, you want to try these goggles? I was like, yeah, I'll try them. And I put on goggles that immediately just went underwater. Squeeze. Matt's balls. You got a cold water penis in his hand.

There's nothing wrong with going underwater and giving someone a little. Because you can hear it through the water, which is very funny. You guys want, oh. Yeah, I was working with a little, I was working with a little crick. crappy i had no power i had no power yeah true i didn't even think about that i didn't i didn't get a grip just so you know i was just laughing like dang that was that was that was not a good one of the titus yeah if somebody caught my tinius in there caught a goldfish there's a goldfish a little guppy down there it was finding nemo yeah it was cold i was refreshing though man but yeah

it was chilly i was so yeah i just had to jump right in man i can't i can't walk in i got to tried I thought I could Godzilla walk it that's a tough Godzilla walk just stop halfway it's worse it's worse it's it's worse it's worse that it got worse that was my second time swimming today godzilla walks powerful though in a cold water it's very tight it is very tight but yeah the die landed right on my back I tried I just wanted to feel out a gainer off the diving board it's hilarious bro fucking landed flat my back it felt like it was on fire it hurts so bad but whatever it's what happens it was fine back the backflips have been I have a backflip brand of them dude You're over.

You're going too far. Yeah, you're getting too much sky. Front flip, I land it like, yeah, right on my fucking face. Yeah, you're over extending on these flips. Got it. You're too powerful. I got to get to the one and a half. That'd be nasty.

Hitting a one and a half would be cool. You're close. Yeah, if I kept ripping, I could definitely do it. You ever see those videos of the African-American youths jumping into the pool with all of their clothes on? I think that's a Memphis thing. I love that. Yeah, it's very fun to watch. We should do that at Barton Springs.

We could do that at Barton Springs. It'd be tough to get out fast. You got to keep kind of cycling Yeah Yeah I was at a wedding recently And I had It was a black wedding And a lot of people were jumping in

That night Like in all their clothes And I was like kind of confused Like what is it Then I saw the internet I was like okay Yeah it's a viral trend Were they doing that

Were they? I wasn't there Lay flat We got we got the video They went back And we were at a different resort And then they went back Oh I thought that was a Memphis thing

Could be right Will you look that up We look into that Jarvis could have started in Memphis I don't know why it's how I got to Memphis Yeah it's a

It's pretty crazy I mean it looks cool in the video When you jump in with all your clothes But I'm like, what do you do after Cut a rug True Stab a crayon Go to the 40s store and go

This is mine Well like people flipping in the pools Memphis but then like a lot of Memphis this is what YouTube has showed me they're all like Memphis pool parties look like this

yeah yeah I do like the black streaming game yeah it's fucking sick I don't understand any of it but there's massive fortunes being amassed yeah guys show speed yeah it's just the fucking the line of chat flying down it's just dude's like it's pretty sick yeah Kodak

I kind of want to steal it and have our... Kodak had a great appearance. Kodaks was so good. A little glitch for the Twitch. Oh, he's just fucking awesome. I kind of want to steal the swag, and for all of our episodes, it's to have like a fake chat log, flying down. Just be like CTFU, skulls, CTFU, schools.

Fire, fire, fire. Beyond Fort. Just chilling an apartment. Pretty tight. I should speed went to the stand. I know. I saw that. I saw that.

I didn't realize he went to the show and those cameras have like a huge light on Oh, God. While Aaron Berg was on stage and he's just in the back filming Aaronberg with a huge spotlight on him. Oh, my God. And then he went on stage, did a backflip, barked, and then ran out. Yeah. That's pretty tight. Yeah, it was awesome.

That's what's all about now. Jungle Joe made an appearance. Who's that? The Jungle Joe Rory. Oh, nice, nice, nice, nice. We're in an hour? Okay. Hell yeah.

Arrivederechi. Yeah, there it is. Ciao. Bye. I don't know.