Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH MATT'S NEW SPESH 'A HUMBLE OFFERING' on NETFLIX October 7th Go See Joe Live @ https://www.joederosa.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ hello. Here we are with the cast. Hope you're all having a good week so far. Matt's out on the Beast coast this week (peep MSSB on the paytch). We got Salacious Crumb to join us in his absence. Hot Cast. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/LME0/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Wild Wild West. I can still swap it out. If that. Yeah. It's probably less than that. Yeah, it's less than $10.000. What do you say? Zest-y-ass?

All right. Let's get started. Let's say, good. You get a decent. Damn, one second in and you get. You can get a decent 85 for like $7,800 bucks. Yeah. I mean, I mean, you can go all the way up to $3,000 or whatever, but yeah.

You're talking extra on top of the 70-something? No, no, no. The 75 was only six. You get a 4k? You guys were on a star podcast? I'm ready, dude. Oh, you were doing it? That was what you want to do?

I'm just sitting waiting for you to say, let's go. You're going to talk prices? Stuck TV prices. Yeah, dude. Fired up. You got to be in my ass on that? Matt's gone, so, uh, I just really scraping the fucking. No, no.

I'm just joking, man. You're happy to have you. Look, man, your anxiety? I know where you're at? Where we're at? Once you get clean and sober like me, you're like me. you're a fucking animal dude i'm sorry you you don't drink for two days you think you're fucking living right who doesn't right now dude after three days i go i'm fucking fine i go for one day

i have one healthy shit i'm like oh i'm fine yeah what the fuck what the fuck was i worried about the last 30 years i've been doing this stuff called dose yeah you know what i'm talking about it's supposed to help we'll see it dude it does your energy it like jacks your energy up does it do i don't know i have it i have it uh whatever you got to do it every day it's a liver cleanse and uh it's for guys who don't really want to stop drinking yeah yeah it's a supplement on instagram where they go you've talked about being a booze bag a lot we've picked that up yeah here's your liver liver health in your algorithm yeah i don't want to stop drinking it's too fun yeah hey i'll tell you what i've i got my hands on a little revolutionary war doc yeah you want

know how do you think we came up with the name united states of america no one even thinks about do they well i just assumed it was a bunch of states that would be united yeah but you still got come up with a name when you go we're declaring independence what the fuck that we call ourselves i feel like it was early on and you you called things what they were back then you weren't you're going to come up with a fancy name you're going to just say this is what it is where it's a fuck you to the king the united states of i like i like that you're trying to sell that you're wrong but i like it i mean I have no idea because I don't nerd out these dots. Okay, Star Wars to have.

Freddie Krueger's history. But no, I never even took the time to think about it. But it's not that simple. It's not just like this. Yeah, you can't just be like, we all agree this is what we're calling it. Because everybody has to come together and be like, what do we? What is in America anyway? You know?

That's a good point, LeMere. What's a Europe? Shit, dude. What's in Africa? Dude. I mean, you're asking the hard-hitting questions. I always thought it was named after Amerigo Vespucci. That's what they...

Which I think that's been... The bunk. Proven false. Yeah, the Columbus Indians thing is probably false, too. Probably. That he called them Indians because he thought he was in India. Yeah, I think he knew exactly where he was. There was like a term they were called that said, people of God, and it was like in...

I forget, I forget what it is. I thought he called him Spanish for you. Well, anyway. Anyway, it turns out, just some fucking guy wrote into a local paper, the Pennsylvania Post, and said, we should be the United States of America. It was like an editorial. And he didn't write his real name. His pseudonym was Republicans. Just, oh, fucking badass, Republicans.

That's a great. Yeah. It was a transformer. Fire me up last night. Also, is there a bigger juice on the planet? that's the juice writing into the paper and going

we should call this country United States of America also my name's Republicans and the whole country was like yo United States of America is sick dude

I bet a USA chance started almost like the first guy was like U.S. A U.S.

U.S. U.S. Republicans You know and the music docs they're like hmm Yeah, yeah

fucking war pigs I don't like they did that with the USA chain But wait a minute Why But I agree with Lamar What does America come from If it's not the American

Vespucci guy I'm not sure I think it might be American What if it was Vespushies Voltaire What I said what if a republicus Was Vespuci's Voltaire What does that mean

Voltaire? It's like I know who Voltaire is He was an art Yeah he had a fake name And then you know he got in trouble and people say if you have a fake name

you have a volunteer oh okay yeah I didn't know that sorry that's all right I didn't mean to be smart like what you said like what of uh republicus

is Vespucci no it was it was like 300 years later oh okay so okay all right

all right yeah well shit man you live you learned. No, I think they said it was Thomas Payne or I think they said that might have been Republicans. They don't know who Republicans was.

Chech EPP still says it's from Americo Vespucci. All right. But it's the feminine Latin form of Americus, which I kind of like Americus more. Yeah, I like Americus. America's is good. Yeah, U.S. on the end of a word or a name or oh,

Yeah, you're like some Latin. Yeah. Us. Republic Us. Republic War. Like, they sound like transformer name. Yeah. Yeah.

Or He-Man names. Yeah. I saw this little fucking shadow pig. What was scarring at home west. He's a little rat, dude. Yeah, dude. He's a shadow pig. You can't tell he's a pig because he's always like, oh, yeah.

Yeah. And then he goes. Oh, shit. He's blacked out. Yeah. There's not like a real. It's like when a British person's retarded. This guy's smart

Like with guard dog He always sounds like he's blacked out Yeah Just smoking heaters in the corner Back to back There's no difference It's weird yellow What he'd be doing sober

You can't tell I was sober as a bird last night Yeah see That's a go Dini guy That was a sober man Yeah You were sober man You were sober man?

I saw you like 1030 I was just getting to the kill Tony Afterhang It was like 1015, 10.30, and he was walking out with his girl. And it's like, where are you guys going? And his girl went, we're going to go home. I could see the shadow pig's eyes like, he wanted to stay, dude. Yeah, you hit him with one of these like, no, that's not true.

I wanted to go home. He's like, yeah, I'm happy to be going home, man. It's good. Somebody take a break. I was happy to go home. You missed out. We got fucked up. Yeah, you guys had a good time?

yeah we had a nice time i had a good time i was watching an american revolutionary war doc yeah shit was tight don't think you understand well tell me about it man i love this is one of my favorite things about you and i i truly do mean it i am enamored by the fact that you truly love history and you like i wish i was something that was of use like that i only love nerdy it's not really of use for me to be like republicus it's like no but it's history like like i i i i I only get in, like, I swear to God, dude, I'm not kidding. I'll get into, like, the He-Man mythology, the way you'll get into the Civil War. It's like, it's the kind of shit that excites me.

He-Man has some deep mythos, brother. Yeah, He-Man's dope and shit. Yeah, and history is, you know, whatever. Yeah, I wish I liked history. I know. I wish, I know. And it tells you why we're, where we're at. But, you know what I was thinking about?

You know how they think, like, tar and feathering is kind of funny? Wait, what? Like, it's like a silly thing. They're like, oh, we tarred and feathered him, huh? Yeah. It was like a brutal... No, it's horrible. Horrific.

Yeah. It's scolding hot tar. Yeah. It killed people. Yeah, yeah. It's like one of the worst deaths. It burned your skin off and the feathers were fused into your skin. It's fucking horrific. It became a chicken.

There's a... Thank you, Lamar. There's a... Maybe the... Maybe... I was about to... I had to walk that back. I was about to be so racist.

I was about to be as racist as possible. That was crazy But no You ever see John Adams? Yeah, yeah Great mini series But they'd tar and feather a guy in that It always stuck with me

I watched I watched the first two episodes last night And they're two hours I don't know if I'm allowed to say it But I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War It's not out yet Oh nice

And my manager sent it to me at like 10 And I was like I'm watching this right now Nice How is it for four hours It's fucking great so that's the doc you've been watching yeah I feel like I'm not allowed to say it you're not even you're not even allowed to say you're watching it you're spilling the beans of stuff that's in it dude

well it's historical fact nobody knew about republicans I know republicus is nice no one's gonna why I mean not there's a lot of people that watch this that don't get down with kem burns they should yeah Kim Burns is uh Ken Burns Vietnam was fucking nice we were talking about this I don't remember if it was you or me or not but what was the doc was like Ken Burns is Sergeant Pepper's like what's the doc that broke him i think it's the jazz one because i remember my friend scott had the box set the the the soundtrack of that and i just remember that ken burns jazz

documentary was like everywhere and i was like that's the one i feel like made him i think i mean for me it was the civil war one right kem burn civil war ken burns baseball is fucking nice yeah i heard baseball is a big one and then his brother puts out docs too like one of them did Brooklyn bridge which is nice what are they the boring brothers they're probably yeah probably the most boring fucking guys

is both of them sitting there in sweaters just looking at books looking at fucking books dude come on man pick up some video games play the viges and jack off yeah dude

you got to make Ken Burns the Revolutionary Award the video game I'd be all in on that that would be nice what is the um what's his brother's name i forget the uh and you also love louis thoreau louis thoreau's a great yeah yeah i like him he's a little more of a provocative documentary yeah yeah yeah but my favorite one he did was the was the Courtney love one did you ever see his Miami uh when he goes into super prisons no it's as funny as it gets he's just in there with black

dudes they're like we fucking we have to beat your ass and he's like no why what if i don't want to fight Oh, you're going to have to fight. We're going to fuck you up. He's like, but you don't have to do that. It's pretty great. You went to know the best docs I've ever seen? Is this new one about the right wing? No, it's new one's about, uh, Israel, Palestine.

Yeah. Yeah, I haven't watched it. I heard it was pretty fucking good. He goes deep, man. The first Scientology, what I ever saw, the guys, like, threatening him and shit. It was crazy, dude. Does he interview a settler in that? Yeah.

And she's just, like, fully like, oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not great. They were saying the whole time they're like, they can leave or that's what the settlers were saying. You see that and Yadu, where he compares himself to Hitler? He comparing himself. He's, dude, I'm sure I watched it three times.

I was like, he can't be saying that. But he's like, he's like, they say, you know, step back, step down. And he's like, you don't just stand aside and say, here you go. You have the land. Adolf Hitler didn't do that. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. He couldn't. I can't rewind it.

And then I looked at the caption and it was like, that in the eye who compares himself to Adolfi. I was like, holy shit. I think he just did that. Are you sure it was not AI? Because I've been tricked. They're getting real good at just showing a speech and changing like two words. Can you, uh, Gardini, can you look that up?

Was he saying, maybe he meant, uh, what he was trying to say was the opposite people didn't placate Hitler like when he was taking all the land doesn't sound like you said that because it's like he is doing a lot of ground strike now

he's doing a lot of stuff that he's doing a lot of stuff he's doing a lot of stuff can't say this is another Kanye was right moment yeah did you ever see the Gavin McGittes interview with Kanye

where he goes he goes and Connie's in the full black like ski mask hood thing where you can't see his face and Gavin goes now look he's like you know there are statistics about black people about the crime and stuff like that

he goes but when you meet a black person you don't take those statistics into it you start with a clean slate and you judge them as a person do you do that with Jews it kind of goes nope and Gavin got to start to laugh and he goes this intervention is not going well I think it was going right where Gavin wanted it too.

Yeah, Gavin loves that shit. Exactly. Well, there we go. What else is going on? We're just remembering stuff we saw. I like that. I have a good duck to recommend. It's only 30 minutes long.

It's called The Quilters. And it's, it's, no, no, listen to me. That doesn't sound great. Trust me. All right. It's on HBO. It's like 30 minutes long. Strike two.

It's about a maximum security prison. and there are these level five convicts which means level five is murder like it's all the worst crimes and there's a quilt shop in there and they make quilts for like needy children and they're super into it and these guys have got like murder

double murder or whatever they're in the quilt shop and they're like here's all their fabrics and they run it like a quilt and they get so into it and the kids send them dude the quilts are amazing kids send them what they send them pictures of like me with and it's like thank you so much

I don't know if I love that. And they cry. Well, that's nice. It's beautiful, dude. It's beautiful. These guys are like, this is the only way I can give back to society for what I did. It's crazy. I cried during it.

Yeah, that's very nice. It's really nice. Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot. You should. I've got to tell you, I've been watching this Mussolini show. And a doc or like a scripted show. Who plays the moosh? I don't know.

It's some Italian guy. It was made in Italy. Okay. But of course, Europe is also, you know, 10 years behind us when it comes to like on the nose shit. Right. Like culturally. Yeah. The last episode, he's like, I'm going to make Italy great again.

And you're like, oh, so Trump's a fascist. Okay. You just butt-fucked the whole show. Yeah. Turn off. I'm out. Is it only like one season? Is this season two?

I'm not sure. I think it comes out weekly. Okay. And I was kind of excited about it. I mean, they make him a bumbling idiot, which I doubt he was based on what he got done. They do that a lot with history. No, no, no. Mussolini apparently was kind of a putts.

Okay. I mean, that's like the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you ever see him give a speech? Oh, that's good. Swag. Swag out of wazoo. People give Hitler a lot of credit for speeches?

Check out the moose, dude. The pauses, the fucking arm crosses. Is Mussolini the guy who plucked a chicken during a meeting? I never heard that one. Really? I can't remember who, but it was a story about somebody being really well. I think you just got chicken on the brain? No.

That's the second chicken talk. I think you got chicken on the brain. The, uh, not interracial. What is it? It is Mussolini, plucking a chicken? Nice, Lambert. It's like a metaphor or something. It's a political cartoon.

Nice. Did you find anything for the... I can't find it. It's hard to... I bet I got AIed. God, damn, dude. But they could also be... There's things he said a long time ago.

It also might have been old. There was like one from 2015, where he kind of says, what you said in a different way maybe that's what it was i would imagine as a politician go out of your way to avoid saying i'm a lot like adolf hitler you think yeah you think i mean that used to be a bad thing yeah yeah used to be rough no that thing about make italy great again that that kind of stupid fucking winky thing that ruined uh skull island for me Kong skull island what happened there It takes place in the 60s, and the first line, a taxi pulls up in front of, like, I don't know, some fucking, the cap, some state building or something. And John Goodman goes, there's two dudes in the back of the car, and John Goodman goes, my boy, we are entering the strangest decade of politics this country will ever see.

And it was like, right when Trump got it. And I was like, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like, it's just, I hate shit like that. Yeah, letting your politics come into the King Kong movie I'm trying to watch. Dude, American King Kong, they ruined Godzilla for me because they had the running Godzilla sucked. Oh my God, dude. Godzilla was fucking sick.

Yeah. The Japanese one? Wait, that's, yeah, that's for overseas. Yeah, yeah. That's classic Godzilla. I'm talking King Kong, Godzilla, forbidden kingdom or whatever. If you went into that thinking that was going to be good, the bag's on you. you're an adult man

king Kong had a mecca arm Godzilla was running the whole world's in flames it's crazy yeah once they got into that too that's the last straw for you that was literally the last straw godzilla doesn't run dude when they did the like world between worlds thing

where king Kong lives in that weird other I was like this is idiotic I met the kid a couple times that directed every single one of those movies he must be stack in coin right now, man. I mean, Jesus Christ. They make like $400 million at least.

At least. Chinese people must go nuts when they see those. They'll find huge hits in China. Matt's gone. I'll be reading on behalf of Matt. Okay. Matt. Okay, okay.

A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Football Edition. and it's brought you by prize picks. Right. So Shane and I are going to be presented with three player picks and decide together whether we should go more or less each pick. Shane. So who's looking sharp?

And who's just like a pedestrian on the field? Yeah. Matt. This is what we're thinking prize picks this week. Let's choose more or less each of the following picks. A.J. Brown. More or less than 55 receiving yards. I'm going more.

More. He's not getting a lot of touches. He's starting to complain. They're going to force the ball to him more than 55 yards receiving. I'll go less since you guys went more just to mix it up. Cam Scadaboo, more or less than 0.5 rushing touchdowns. You think he's going to score or not? I love the name.

I'm going to say more. I like it too. He's got a bit of a Star Wars name there. Yeah. Josh Allen, more or less, 228 passing guys. You've got to go more. The guy's a gunslinger. Okay.

Shane, I'm going to say I'd go less. Last week, I picked him, and he went on. Under. How about that? Wow. All right. So that's our take. Now it's time to lock them with yours. Price picks. Don't just stand your fame, stand on business, win real money with your best takes, whether it's touchdown passes, receptions, take your more or less pick on their staff projections to cash in this season.

Here, you read from Matt there. Second paragraph up. Yeah, it's small. It's not that easy. Don't forget to follow other prize picks players directly on the app. You can even copy their lineups in one click, whether it's a friend, a celebrity partner, or just someone whose picks you like, hit the follow button and check out every lineup they create in a new feed tab on prize picks. The bag's on me. It was a great reason, man.

Prize picks. It's good to be right. Man, I'll tell you what I'm mad about. Bad bunnies doing the fucking halftime show. That's good. Pissing me the fuck. No, of course. Of course.

Who gives the fuck? It's very funny to me that people were upset about that. Oh, I mean, everyone's on the right. The right gets it so wrong with what they're outraged. Everybody's outraged about everything, obviously. But when it's like, dude, don't lose on this one. Why are they mad about bad funny? I think it's because he doesn't speak any.

Speak English from China watch football. And my point was last year's halftime show was barely intelligible. Maybe that was for China. Bing, bop, boom, bing, bang. You hate Kendrick. No, I don't hate Kendrick. Stop hating. We don't have to talk Kendrick.

Didn't she care do the halftime show? What? Didn't she care do the halftime show before? Yeah. What are they mad about? I don't know. Janet Jackson whipped her tits out on it. Yeah, that shit rocked.

Yeah, it was great. Man, that was a pivotal moment in, like, American history, like for TV and stuff. That was considered, like, now it would be nothing. Yeah. I could have sworn she had a sticky over her nipple. She did. Like a, she had, like, a, it was, I think it was pierced and she had this big thing, like, almost like a vote for me pin, covering her whole nipple, you know what I mean? But yeah, it wasn't pasty.

It wasn't that crazy. It wasn't that crazy. Also, why'd they pretend it was like a, when they were like, it was a wardrobe malfunction? Oh, I remember when they tried to lie. It was like a pose. He, like, ripped it off and they both went. Yeah. It's wild the way they would just lie about shit.

It's, you know, and just let's see if they buy it. It's a wardrobe malfunction. Yeah, they bought it. Yeah, they're going to buy it. She got like, she was, like, in trouble for a long time. I remember that. Yeah. Was that the first live TV titty drop?

I feel like, but that was a, uh, what's that called a thing on the nipple? The pasty. A pasty. Yeah. I mean, I remember, Sable used to break those out. Sable would break out the pasties all the time, dude. Yeah, WWF had some nips. Yeah, Nips.

Yeah. The cat. Terry Reynolds. Don't give me started. Jacqueline, don't give me started. I'm going to get you so. You can jack off in there. I think there was the first ever, I think.

I think for it, right? Yeah, live TV trippy drop. That had to be the first one. That was a pretty big one. I remember me and my friends went nuts. In my basement. Everyone just went, oh. Kids were standing on the couch.

We were fired up. That's when Timberlake was the man. Like, he was, like, he's still awesome, but he was like untouchable. Do you remind me at Timberlake? Why is that? Just like a smooth operator slick. You about to say something mean? No, that's it.

Yeah? Genuine compliment. Yeah, you remind me of Justin Timberlake. You're both smooth operators and you're slick. And I feel like you can beat box. I can't beat box. Oh, you thought about it. But I was an all right rapper.

You're a good rapper. It was a decent rapper at one point. You know, I haven't done it in a long time. Sometimes I still write little rhymes in my head. I'm like, I wish I was a rapper. Give me some bars. I can't remember anything right now And I honestly am trying to try to remember something

Okay, please Because that would be big for me I think everyone would be very happy To be very happy to hear you spit some boys You had a bean I know, it still does You still have a band? The hell

Yeah, no, yeah, so other bands Yeah, it's also windfall Yeah, our new record comes out In a couple months Oh, sick, yeah, yeah, it's done Yeah And then we're gonna run and do shows and stuff stuff that's fun man I love doing that but yeah the rapping not so much anymore

it's a young man's game it's a young man's game it's a young man's game it's it's a different level of commitment yeah rap is like being a comic it's like you have to be a rapper you know what I mean like you have to it's it's an everyday thing it's not you know not to say that being in a band isn't but it's a little more it's a little more lax for whatever reason but but there's something about rapping because it's a solo it's a solo act it's that's why i said it's like being a comic it's like constantly yeah it's a solo what do you got in the battle you know what i mean have you ever rap battles yeah i used to do it all the time oh that must been so gay where's that where can i get that footage holy shit we used to freestyle

we used to freestyle battles when i was in college at parties and shit people like don't you have any regrets no i would regret that so much why I was pretty good at it I was pretty good at it No people liked it like the party I got chicks from doing it and stuff It was you know They saw that Timberlake

They saw that Timberlake You smooth up right You love this Timberlake Timberlake the moose The Moose You got to see the moose That's my rap name dude Timberlake the moose

That's actually a great nickname Timberlake the moose Should we talk about our new nicknames I mean you can try there it is tried to bait me with my because Joe all right first off you're calling me the hut

yeah but explain why but dude the what but dude it's literally laid up like hut I don't hold on dude that's a hut I don't do his bidding

do your bidding I said Joe I said Joe looked exactly like salacious crumb from Star Wars and if you look at salacious crumb especially salacious crumb

with his legs crossed sitting and that laugh Joe's salacious crumb and I said yeah and I said

Shane's job of the hut and then he went low and called me I'm not going to love it's not a body joke I'm just saying you're the hut dude

like we're hanging look at crum in the hut tell me it's not me Shane hanging out of the bar I'll happily sit at this man's legs and drink as the crumb

dude just is Derosa it's like dude you know what salacious underworld creature I didn't know he had a name either I was just like dude you look like fucking Jabba's friend and he was like he knows Star Wars he was like

oh slacious chrome As soon as you said it I was Bro You gotta get that That's nice All right I'll give you that I'll give me that that's a good one Dude you love just sitting up there

I'll take hut playing with everybody's emotions in the room Tony is obviously C3BO. It's not even close. Tony might be laying, dude. Beezer's Bip Fortuna. Tony might be laying the bikini, dude. Beezer is Bip Fortuna. 100% Beezer's Bip Fortuna.

100,000%. Who's Suboba? Which one's that? He's the one who gave Anakin. It's got to be all Jabba's Palace, though. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Everybody else, from there out, everybody else is too cool. Yeah, it's tough not to, you can't give someone a cool.

Yeah, nobody gets to be like Boba Fett. Yeah, it's too cool. Yeah, who's the rancor? You know, Lamarish? The Warthog. The Warthog guard. No, no, Lamar is the pig guard. No, Lemares is the blue dude that plays the keyboards.

That's a cool one, though. No, it's not. Blue guys. Look up the blue. I think. Yeah, me, me, wait, wait. That's okay. Yeah, that's fucking Lamar.

But look at the, can you do me in kindness and look up the pig guard? The pig guard at Chavez Pallas. It's got a bit of a bit of a maze in there. But that, that guard's a little pushy. I don't think Lamar's very pushy. No, that's what I'm saying. He's the keyboard player.

Keyboard player is very close. But the pig guard. Let me take a look at that guard. Cantina band plays good music. That's, does have Mesey written all over it. Who is it? I mean, I'll, I like the keyboard. I'll tell you, I think the pig guard is.

I think that's O'Connor. The O'Connor would have to shove a dude against the wall. You know what, Tommy is? I know it's on tattooing, though. It's fucking what's his name? The guy who's like, I don't like you. That's Tommy. They just get his arm cut off right away.

That's O'Connor and Pope. That's O'Connor and Pope. It's too drunk assholes. you like fuck you dude didn't you say I don't like you my friend doesn't like you either I got the death toll on 38 systems yeah

that's a tough one yeah that's what you lando is Jawa could he be a Jawa could he be a fucking Jawa oh no he's a EWock bro now it's got to be tattooing

we gotta keep it near Jawa Jawa Jawa all right tony what are you looking at javas Nate kind of looks like an e-walk a little all right fuck it yeah

that's me my bad my bad no Nate's warwick the e-walk or wicked I mean wicked the e-walk yeah fuck it dude we'll fly you to java's palace who's uh all right Tony's 3PO

definitely who's leah then can't give a hot babe no unless you give it to a dude no dude lay is fucking uh lay as uh uh uh kaila is a bad mouth chick chick with a bad attitude

i hear you you excited for red october which red october is a video game no fills dude fighting fills well fill me in you know i don't watch sports we got to buy which could be a problem the playoffs start oh they're going to playoffs yeah i'll go to those games yeah i'm gonna go i'm gonna go monday jesus it's october i'm like i'm like thinking this is like months away no it's september you almost have it it is october next week no it's october tomorrow yeah i guess tomorrow yeah

jesus christ dude um is that this is a crazy podcast we're just just this is a regular conversation yeah do you do you want to do you want to do you want to get on to a specific topic. No, I don't give a fuck at all. I feel like this is good. I like Star Wars. I love Star Wars. I've been watching everybody

loves Raymond. Okay. That show is good, dude. Dude, I started watching it recently, too. Yeah. Airtight. Yeah. Air tight, man.

That's great. Every episode. I'm like, that was a beat. How cool is Ray Romano? He's awesome. He's like the coolest. Yeah. Whenever he comes to the cellar, it's like, God damn.

Yeah. It's just a fucking cool. Yeah. He's sitting there. He's watching sports. He's like, who you got on this? You got the over the under all that I'm like That's awesome

That's awesome I don't know a dude They got better looking In his like 60s I never thought of that Yeah he's like I didn't sexualize him when I saw him He's uh

I sexualize everybody That's fair That's why you're JT dude That's why you got that timber like I'm the moose Timber like the moose You're salacious chrome That's the chrome laugh

Oh the fucking Vile horrendous crumb dude The Vile horrendous salacious crumb yeah but that's nobody has the juice like united states of america no no it's it's salacious crumb obviously that's good juice right vile horrendous great juice yeah no one's just like i'm going to write this down and send it to the paper and name the country i mean it's it is it is fucking wild i want to find out i'd like to find out who this republicanist guy is i think it is thomas pain it's just pure speculation because it was just a humble man dude

That's why he's Republicans. He's going, I don't need any glory for this. This is for the fucking Republic. Yeah. But, wait, how do you get in the paper? Oh, because Thomas Payne. What other things from the dock can you reveal? It's just standard.

There's nothing too. It gets into Benedict Arnold, which is exciting. Because he was kind of the man. Okay. Until he wasn't. Okay. But he was like a little climber, though. He was good at a,

his job but he was a climber okay so he get anytime he got passed over he would start bitching and yeah okay but it was stuff i kind of knew already like he was he was the hero at taekonda roga okay so he people don't know like the pencil uh he uh he was like a war hero he was like a big deal before he switched before he switched what was his official turncoat moment uh i'm not sure i think he sold or gave British intel on how to get past West Point, the fort. I think he gave the fort up. I could be wrong. Wow.

I haven't got that far. But I remember in, I read the book Lafayette, who was the man too. He was like, that was kind of the only time he ever saw George Washington, like, break down. Because Washington liked this guy. Wow. And when he got, he got to West Point and they were like, Arnold's gone. Wow. He was just like, oh, he started, like, sobbing.

He was like, no. My boy. So I'm like that. That's the story I took from it. Did you ever eat at that restaurant in New York where Washington took his men before the Battle of Valley Forge? No. It's in Fidei. You know that area of Fidei where it's like the cobblestone street and there's all the bars?

It's right down there. That's a steakhouse. Yeah. Yeah. And he took his. Isn't that it's so wild. Like it, yeah, they were like, they were treating it like they were like about to shoot a movie or something. Like it was a big dinner.

They all get fucking cocked up And then they're like All right We got to go fight tomorrow Yeah It's awesome It was like yeah This weird celebratory

They were drinking back down Yeah yeah He made sure his boys All got whiskey and rum Yeah It's why And then everybody got a cup Of their rations

Where you got a cup of whiskey Every day Every soldier Wow And then he was like If the rations were low Or rum at first And then we'll switch to whiskey

If we run out of rum Wow The boys were a little They were loose Dude is for freedom Yeah And a couple of bruskeys Before you go shoot some

red coats yeah you have to be also you know you know it fired me out there's a part where so obviously the the revolution starts in massachusetts and then they're trying to rally the rest of the colonies to be like help us out and then so like virginia that's why they get Washington because he was the he was a virginian so they want to bring the whole all the colonies in but then when pennsylvania and like south carolina and north carolina start joining in and then it's just such a like it was it was a true melting pot you know i mean but it's talking about how like just frontiersmen from Pennsylvania started rolling in and hanging out with all these

New England pussies right it's like damn that's pretty sick yeah and they were like these guys are a problem they were like uh like the British were like oh fuck they got the retarded guys PA was always a problem PA was a problem because PA anybody that was like out Appalachia was where

the country stopped okay like past that was like native land and there were people out there fighting so these guys had been fighting for 40 years see this is the shit I wish I wish I could retain. This is, it's impressive to me that you have this trappers and shit and like survivalists so they knew

how to live on the land like with no food and shit. Right. So all of a sudden you got all these like freaks coming out of the woods and you're just some fucking queer from fucking London. I have a real, this is a serious question. From watching all that stuff and whatever, do you feel like you have like some working knowledge of survival skills? Oh my God, no.

If you got trapped in the woods. I struggle with scrambling. scrambled eggs. I'll tell you, you got to get a coffee maker. If somebody was like, if somebody was like, make me pancakes, I'd be like, whew. You could get me instant pancake mix and everything that I need. And I'd be like, oh, this is going to be tough. Yeah, yeah.

I have no survival skills. Pancakes are tough. I could teach you how. But they're tough. You know the trick to flipping a pancake? What is it? When the top part is all bubbled. When you see like all the little holes in it, that's when you know it's,

ready to flip. I'll keep that in mind. Yeah, but pancakes are tough. You know what? I like a little, uh, I like a little raw pancake. Dude, a little cakey pancake. I don't mind a little batter in there. That's gross. I know it's gross. I'm not afraid to admit that.

That's really gross. That's the fuck up. That's good shit. Thanks, man. I think you get salmonella like that. I don't give a fuck about salmonella. From flower? I'll never get salmonella.

The 22 will never get salmonell. Yeah. Drought in 22 years. Dude, I'm on Revolution. War of fucking diet, dude. Glass of whiskey, eat a couple

fucking lemons. Oh my God. Whatever I can get my hands on. I was talking to McCann, James McCann, about the road and just hating the road. Yeah,

it was funny. I talked to him about it. I don't know how you've been doing it like this. I was like, he goes, he goes, he goes, you take Shane, he's got his routine,

he gets up, he has his 20 beers. He does the show. That's how he do it dude yeah star blezies look at this fucking thing that lamare got of course thanks gardines it's going to be good dude you can take it i mean if you want you swiggy nice immunity defense drink doesn't hurt doesn't hurt fixing look at this abomination this good look at that dude this is good stuff he doesn't drink coffee drinks uh you give him lemonade

And then he runs around. And then he runs around. It's coconut milk. It's strawberry milk. He gets the zoomies after that. Strawberry coconut milk. I have to yell at him to get off the couch. You're not supposed to be up there, but that's all right.

Dude, I miss Sarah Payland. You can lay on the couch. Dude, I miss Sarah Palin. She was fucking cool. I'm sure. Yeah, she was cool as hell. She's still hot? Yeah.

She's just older now, you know? Yeah. I like that shit. Yeah. I would. respectfully yeah yeah

very much respectfully yeah yeah she was banging dude yeah those McCain years yeah she was so hot

banging dude yeah she kind of blew it right by talking she fucking up real I think she kind of blew it a little it's crazy the Republicans

were like we need a female vice president dude by the end of that by the end of that election McCain was like like he was It's just like, you can, you could see. He was that fucking J.T. Real Muto when that, you ever see that when that fat pitcher

runs out of the bullpen? It's fucking incredible. And then the catcher for the Phillies sees, so this big, he's not that fat. He's like a chubby guy. He comes sprinting out of the bullpen. And then the camera cussed the catcher who's standing there and he just goes. And the guy's gassed. He's out of breath at the mound.

He can't catch his breath. He gives up a homer. He fucking get him off the field. Dude, what's the clip where the guys are in the pen? And they're yelling at the Empire's call. And the coach is just going, he's a cut. I never saw it.

I like it, though. He's a cut. He's screaming it, dude. It's from like the 80s, early 90s. I'm like, a TV camera caught that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, people didn't have iPhones. There was some camera there recording it.

It was so, dude, baseball... When they spazz, it's the best. Who is it, is it Tommy LaSota with the... Best, whatever. When he's like, my ass is in the jackpot if I don't get you out of here, Tommy. Tommy, you know my asses in a jackpot right now. Wait, I thought you were going to talk about the radio interview.

Which was that? I won. Where they're like, they said you might... It's LaSota. It's after a game, dude. It's on AM radio. So it's going out live. They're interviewing after a game.

Clearly, they must have lost. He's in a moment. mood and they go we heard you were going to trade so-and-so for bobby bacclavar or something he goes he goes let me tell you something about that cock suck here bobby bacclaw i couldn't hit fucking water if he fell out of a fucking boat and told me i'm gonna bring you on my fucking dude he just loses it dude lose yeah baseball spazes are nuts they're the best they lose their mind more than football the best spasers are baseball and then bobby night basketball spas Bobby night basketball.

Doss in the chair across the court. Fucking a player. It's basically white boy spazes. True white boy rage spas. Did you ever see the Jim Belushi when he was on S&L? When he was a cast member, it's from the 80s when he's doing the chess coach, but he's doing it like Bobby Knight's high school chess coach.

And he's kicking the chairs. He's like, come on! You call that a rook to ball! That's awesome. yeah it's really funny yeah bobby was good i think he choked a player to practice which was great uh you can't choke players anymore dude you couldn't even choke players back then they were they were really upset about it yeah the bobby night's things the the things where he's in the press con because he hates

reporters so much there's one where a lady asked him a question he goes well let me tell you something and i love speaking to a person whose job is one step below prostitution it's fire at these people that's nice yeah it's the best i think yeah baseball has number one spazes yeah why is that it's such a soothing game and it's like they're out of nowhere a guy's fucking kicking dirt at somebody Tommy my ass is in a jackpot you know i got to fucking do this their chest to chest every time they yell umpire mask grab is always great fucking insane it's out of nowhere

i guess you're out there for fucking 180 games you're you've been gone from home for fucking six months it's august yeah yeah you're sweating your ass off double header in cincinnati yeah you're sweating your ass off some umps just fucking you

i gotta be honest i don't know that i've ever seen a football spas there's been some good they've happened i'm sure no there's been some good ones there's a you You get a good spaz when the reporter interviews the coach right before halftime. You know how they do that? Like when the team's head of the locker, I'm like, what changes do you have to make on offense to get this thing going? The guys are like,

the players are out there trying their fucking artists and the coaches are fucking it up. It just keeps running. Like, oh, shit. This is an ad by BetterHelp. Oh, yeah. The help with the better. Yes. October isn't just for sweet treats and stuff.

scares. I like this is a good writing. It's also a good time to appreciate therapists who have helped you and a loved one because if you don't know already, October 10th is World Mental Health Day. Did you know that? I did not. All right. If you feel comfortable, give a huge thanks to a current or past therapist. How did they help you? Maybe set you in a new direction, taught you to celebrate small winds or provide a safe space for you to cry and unload. I've found a couple safe spaces to unload. One time I thought I had a safe space to unload. I was on this couch. and somebody walked right in. Who?

My girlfriend. I had to skedaddle because I was trying to unload on the couch what I wanted to know. She could have hopped in. Well, I was crying also. I was crying and unloading. Sometimes a good person will help you cry and unload.

I'd like to point out that for me, every day is mental health day. That's good. Yeah. Thank you. Lamar, can you give us a time that somebody taught you how to celebrate small winds and provide a safe space for you to cry and unload?

I Dude be I don't know Yeah you're about to You can share This is for better help But help With the better

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Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash MSSP. that's betterhelp.com slash mssp. Hey folks, thanks for have. You got it. Listen, buddy. Thanks for having me on the show. No, thanks for doing it, man.

I appreciate it. I know that's a tough seat to fill. Yeah, I know. McCusker is a good man. One of the best. Funny man. One of the best. But thank you for having me.

I got the San Francisco punchline all weekend. shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Come on out. Let's have some fun. And my special, I never promised you a rose garden is on my YouTube, which is at Joe de Rosa Comedy. Please go check that out if you haven't yet. And smash that subscribe. No, no. Don't subscribe. Also, I, you remember we met at a punchline? Well, no, we didn't meet there. I opened for you at the Philadelphia punchline and a guy spit on you in the front row. Anyway, what were you doing? about it when I was when I think last time you were here I think so yeah yeah hello everybody it's me Lamerer optimal knock this on October 7th and then I'm going to be in Knoxville

Tennessee October 16th and then also Des Moines Iowa October 23rd and 24th please come hang out yeah that's good stuff oh yeah you know what also sorry one one other plug because this is hometown Phoenixville Pennsylvania I'm headlining the colonial theater on Bridge Street December 20th for home for the holidays it's called A big Christmas show. Go to Shane M. Gillis.com. I'm going to do Baltimore, Vegas, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tucson, Phoenix, Boise, Portland, and then Madison Square, Gattin.

Fuck you, Nate. Let's get back to the show. Oh, man. That's awesome. I don't watch sports at all, but I will frequently look up sports spas. Sports meltdown. Like, there, nothing like a good, oh, wait, we talked to this last time. Nothing like a good meltdown on camera.

We've done about comedy ones last night Yeah, yeah Yeah You ever watch like Super Smash Brothers Like professional players meltdowns? I mean a gamer meltdowns Must be number one Dude, it's crazy

Yeah They go nuts Like one guy No that was a figure Yeah Those are Yeah They're a couple of pills away

From pulling a trigger on someone Dude Like I need this Yeah Yeah 12 year old kid Smashing his keyboard Hit the fucking meltdown on you Dude

That's how we started talking about this last time It's funny. Literally my favorite is fast. You pulled out. I started trying to tell you said they'll tell. I don't like bring it up. I don't like bring it up because Danny, I mean, I bring it up constantly. But, Danny, we love you. But yeah. Dan's the best. I got Dan so mad when we were, they were playing N.C. Double A. You didn't understand the context. I know. We just got the game. It's me and him. It's our favorite thing. Like, I used to go to his house. We played together. We had a dynasty. I ran offense. He ran defense. It was, it was a glorious time. And then the game reboot. and we get it back for the first time in 10 years. So he comes to Philly to play it with me. And I beat him.

And you guys did like a gig. Like it was like. Yeah, it was her EA sports. Yeah, yeah, I streamed it. And it was like, uh, I beat him the first couple. I was just killing him. And then the one game he was winning.

The salacious, come. My minion comes in and starts doing my bidding. Just sat on the couch next to me. It was like, yeah, Dan. I was like, yeah, of course you're guys. can fucking you guys are holding on to every block my guys can't block for sure and you were like yeah it does seem like uh the guys on dance team are better at blocking he was just like shut the fuck up yeah and then he blew a 14 or 17 point lead and missed

an extra point and lost yeah just spas and I said something he went like this you went DeRosa oh oh yeah he's a number one video video game spas yeah he punches the table Spazes throw shit. Dude, I remember we were watching the Niners and the Eagles play at Jay's house. No, this isn't the... Well, that one's hilarious. It's not the one where he texted me instead of if I was in the room with you right now, I'd punch you in the face. Because I...

Dude, you don't understand sports, dude. The Niners are losing in the NFC championship to the Eagles. And this cocksucker's in the group text like, yeah, the Niners look like shit. it was when the Niners start the fight on the field and I go I remember when this was a game a bunch of bums out

on this field today Dan was like if I was in the room with you I'd punch you in the face you're a little girl I couldn't agree more at Dan if no name was losing a game

and one of my friends that doesn't watch sports was like they suck their assholes Jay was crack it up because it was pro-eas his team yeah no one time we were

we were the three of us watching is me jay and de soda at jay's house in new york and um the niders were losing and dan was all like okay okay okay okay all we did we got to get it back we got to run up the field you know like and then we like oh it's not going to happen dan they're not good enough dude you're crumbed you're salacious that would fucking kill me yeah i'm furious I can tell I would get dark red face immediately. If you said that I would feel my cheeks get red and I'd be like, I don't even care.

I'd give it about five seconds. I got, dude, shut the fuck up. Listen, I swear to God, that's how I get when somebody says like, you know, if somebody's like, I remember I got that mad at Bill because Burr said, The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars don't hold up his movies. And I got as mad as you're talking at him about that. And I was like, you know what the fuck you're talking about, dude? You don't, you think, oh, you fucking saw it, dude, shut the fuck up, dude.

You know, I like literally get that. Which one's the Empire Strike Back? Is that the, the second one? Second. When Han gets frozen. It's on half, dude. That's tough. That's a good one. Yeah, Empire Rift.

Arguably number one. It ended bad. Almost inarguably number one. It ended really bad. And I think hands down, it's the best one. And I, and I'm, and I'm, why did it end bad? Because what did they do? They just fucking played to the sequel?

Wait, what happened? At the end of the end of the? the second Star Wars. It just plays to the sequel. What do you mean plays to the sequel? Like it just ends. It's like a cliffhanger. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome though. That's gay. Dude, I saw that movie in the theater as a kid. That was torturous, dude. Is that 75? No, 80. It came out in 80 and then I think we saw like a re, you know, when I was like five, I think. Yeah. But I was old enough to understand because I watched Star Wars on TV. And like, dude, it like that cliffhanger, it was, it was torturous. I was like, I was like, Lord of the Rings got me.

I saw the first one. They just walked the whole time. And it fucking ended. I was like, yeah. It was three hours. The next one's in fucking three years. Dude,

I never read the books. Yeah. I knew, I read The Hobbit, but I never read the Lord of the Rings books. I thought the first book, they get to Mordor and they end it. And then the second movie was a different story.

And I was like, wait, what the fuck? Like that realization of there's two more movies of them going to Mordor. And I was, I don't know if I got this. That's kind of how I felt about Dune 1. It wasn't for me.

Dune ended and I was like, oh, you killed like one guy. Dune's all right, though. Dune 2 picks up. I didn't like the first one. I wasn't feeling the first one. Are you excited to see that new Leonardo movie? It looks pretty good. The Libs are loving it, so I'm sure you're going to fucking jack off to it.

I was really excited about it and I hope it's good. But so far, everyone that has, like, been like posting about it or like hyped about it has been I agree a diehard lib I agree that it's it's that we'll see what it is when it gets ra-rod by a certain yeah percentage that's how that's how movies get ruined yeah yeah it's like that's why I went and saw a black panther and I was like fucking blows dude it was just jacking off to it he's black James Bond what is black Panther it's black James Bond the whole time no it's not how fuck is it James Bond he's in he goes to Q his sister he gets all the tech and then he goes solve the mysteries

all right i never thought of it like that yeah it's just black man's it's because of course you didn't think it's more like black batman no batman stinks what the fuck are you talking about that man fucking sucks dude what are you talking about dude i'm a superman man superman rules i love one of the worst that you guys love superman over batman no batman's the king what are we talking about

I didn't say that. He said that. Batman ruined society. Batman sucks. Superman. We need more Superman. Wait, what do you mean Batman ruined society?

Dude, as soon as Batman Begins came out, everybody started being all like dark and anti-fucking moral. They're like, I'm going to do what I need to do to get where I need to be. But there's nobody doing anything. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm talking about morality, brother. You think Batman begins ruined society?

Batman Begins started like amorality culturally. How? I don't know. Dude, something about 2005. And Batman doesn't, Batman isn't caring. He doesn't care. He's a, he cares. He started the billionaire worship culture, actually.

He cares a lot. Batman, Batman doesn't give a fuck. Bro, he sacrifices himself, dude. He doesn't sacrifice the most, dude. He cares the most. Batman is selfish and he's a narcissist. No, he's not out standing in front of everyone flying, going, oh, I'm Superman, no, dude, keeps himself.

Superman doesn't fly. Superman's among the people. He lives with the people. Superman doesn't fly? Superman, I'm sorry. Yeah. Superman isn't flying around willy-nilly. he's flying through buildings like 9-11 every day he's not flying through buildings

so many 9-11s because of him real Superman doesn't fly through buildings that's just that's just that's just that's just I just watch the uh the uh Pete Holmes did Batman fires the Justice League videos they are the Superman one where he goes let's have a toast he pulls out these classes and they're green he's like these one having me krypton night ice cubes would they be Batman he goes no it's Asian green tea he's like why don't you take a sip first he just goes

pf it's so funny yeah they're really funny they're really funny the um uh the mayor

you're you're you're I don't know what you're talking about right Batman is the most selfless man on earth

he he he doesn't live a playboy billionaire he doesn't enjoy his life because he's there for Gotham he's giving himself to the city knows Gotham dude I don't think so at the end of the thing

third one he almost kills himself to save the entire city the city will be better without batman all the reason the villains exist is because of batman i never realized by the way you guys know dark night returns or rises i mean yeah i remember when i first saw it everybody said when when he when alfred sees him in the restaurant at the end in italy remember alva goes i have this fantasy where i see you yeah i remember when i saw the movie everybody was like so wait does alfred really see him or is that just like he hopes that he will one day and I was always like well I guess it's up for interpretation but then I watched it again recently and I never caught the part where at the very end Morgan Freeman goes the autopilot doesn't work on this and they go yes it does

it was fixed by Bruce Wayne and I was like oh he autopilited the ship and got out yeah I never caught that I never caught that part you should see Morgan Freeman's Twitter why what's on it's just Nuts. Why? What's he said? No, there's just somebody named Morgan J. Freeman that just is like ultra-liberal. And for like two years, I thought it was Morgan Freeman. I was like, this guy's a fucking asshole.

It's like, fuck Morgan Freeman. What's he saying? Does he pretend it's Morgan Freeman? Yeah, it's just a guy's name is Morgan J. Freeman. But he's not like, he's not faking. I was like, what the fuck is Morgan Freeman talking about? Do you read the, do you ever look on the James? Woods Twitter?

Yeah, I'll peep some James He goes hard He's fired up He'll be like Yeah, I guess Cops are all bad You fat pig sharp Didn't

He goes hard There and James Woods Is fired up Jesus Christ man There are Batman's dude James Woods We need somebody Dude he's the fucking

Cape Crusader We need him In the shadows Man But you know what Maybe I am racist Yes Dude, I wasn't going to say it.

Jesus Christ. Man, I'm not for the bad man. Wait, did you like the new Superman movie? Yeah. It was fun. It was nice. Superman was Superman. Except for the fact that he gets beat up at every scene.

Because here's the thing. He doesn't know who's in the suit. Superman has to temper his power to fight. He gets beat up by everybody. Not in the suit. The lizard beats him up. The fucking. He didn't get beat up by a lizard.

The dog saves him like eight times. Yeah. He got beat up by a fucking lizard? He got beat up, no, no. Such a giant, like, Godzilla thing? He gets a dazp he by a lizard? He gets knocked around. He kills that thing.

He gets knocked around a little. Superman gets knocked around, but he doesn't even kill that thing without exploding it. He knocks it unconscious. No, Dane looked good against Arkansas. No, name looked good. Yeah, sorry, it's your part. No name fucked up Arkansas so bad. They destroyed the program.

Everyone got fired. Really? Yeah. No, they went crazy on him. Nice. Yeah. Hey, how was that show? The Nodame show?

It was not ideal for stand-up, but it was a dream come true. It's kind of the, probably the coolest thing I've ever done. How many people? It's probably like $85,000. Jesus Christ. Not ideal for stand-up, but pretty fucking cool. What does the laugh sound like in an environment like that? Well, I didn't run into too many laughs.

A lot of families, a lot of people that were very confused going. Who the fuck is this guy? When's he going to start playing whatever instrument he's supposed to play? Why is he walking around talking for 30 minutes? He's talking about a Down syndrome coffee shop for 15 minutes. What the fuck? That's so fucking funny, man. Yeah.

Shout out to them for letting me do that, the university. They didn't know what I was going to say, but I'm sure they got some letters since then. And they haven't said anything to me, so that's nice. But it was more hit, so you feel it was more his crowd than your crowd? It was, I had a lot of people there for sure. good uh i'd a lot like a lot of people were really it was it was cool good it was cool but there were definitely people there that had no idea who i was and did not see the billing or did see the billing and were like this must be a country singer that i've never heard of we're just like

your name does sound like a country singer he's just yeah he's just talking for the first 10 we'll pick up something he's probably really good this guy's funny for a musician yeah the uh you're you You have a country singer's name. Shane Gillis sounds like a country singer. I think you can do that with any name. Jodorosa? It sounds like Ponderosa. It sounds exactly like a western.

Hey, folks, I'm Jodorosa. Doesn't have the same ring. It does. You got a country. You need to get in a country instead of hip-hop. Have you thought of the bars yet? Because I'm going to need those before the end of this. Desperately.

Sometimes I would write lyrics. Like in my head for rappers I was a fan of. All right, give me an example. So, like, I wrote a two short lyric in my head once. Let me hear it. I was worth to hear two short go, because the one thing I learned about being a Mac, treat a girl bad to dumb bitch comes back.

That was my two short lyric that I wrote. It's pretty good. Yeah. You can hear two short saying it, couldn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing to be ashamed of there. Yeah. Nate's fucking feeling it.

Not in the bad way, but it was way better than I thought it was going to be. That's fine. Yeah, it was definitely not, like, great. but it was also two that's two sure yeah yeah yeah yeah i thought it was me real bad i thought i thought you were possessed by two show for a second yeah i actually felt like my two-shirt impression wasn't that bad for a first attempt it was no it was good i mean you've been thinking about it for 30 years 30 just bouncing around in there you finally let it out you can move on about 30 do you have another one can you do like a naz sometimes i write little raps in my

head about comedians i'm like oh that would be ideal i do a rap song about comedians and not look like an idiot it's the way to do it that look like an idiot absolute idiot decent ones whatever just come out

just rip everybody crack amico would bury you dude you dude you can't step into his lane cracks uh crack goes hard sagged go is real hard

sagalo's good too sagolo is very good yeah sagolo sounds like a rapper you would like sagelos sounds very good and it's serious rap it's not funny Yeah.

Yeah, he's good. He's good. You ever think of any good raps? No, I'm not a rapper. That's my trait, though. Outside of stand-up, what would you do creatively to express your inner darkness? Probably be in a car shop. Car shop.

Playing U-Gi-U-Gi-O or something. Card shop? Yeah. Playing video games in an arcade. No, no, I meant creatively. Oh, card shop. What? It's a card shop.

You mean like a place yourself? I said creatively go, oh, card shop. Ramirez, if you weren't so laid back, I would think you were on Coke right now. The shit you're talking about is insane. Yeah, this is. You're like, Batman begins, ruined society. I would work at a car shop. I stand on that.

That's a good thing. Maybe America of Vespucci was Voltaire. Dude, that was good, too. That was good, too. It's a reach. You say a sentence, and then everyone has to wait and try to figure out what you meant. And then ask you and go, where did that? come from what did you mean by that i don't know just tapped into my smartness

just tapped into my smartness you're a fucking child i don't mean to be that mean christ just having fun we are having fun and you're you're a dear friend dude the star war's trilogy the second one episode one two and three better set of movies in the first four five six i'll stand on that you think the prequels are better than the original trilogy like as a set of movies like all together yeah dude i mean i like the prequels but now as soon as palpatine goes execute order 66 it makes all the other movies worth it well no that synth is i love scyth yeah syth is in my top three but but um i never gave clone wars a real chance attack of the clones yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah attack of the clones

attack of the clones is it's really cool at times but he he he went so high Hogwild with the CGI shit is nuts in it. It's a lot. Like that droid factory sequence, it's a little too much. But, but hey, the whole end, like, once they get to that arena and like Padmae and Obey One and Anakin have to fight those beasts and then the Jedi come and like it's the battle and then like, and then they fight Duku and Yoda comes out. Like, oh, that shit's awesome, man.

All that shit's awesome. And then Cidias shows up at the very end. yeah uh yeah that that's awesome but sith rips don't kill me theta this is all good stuff Sith fucking rips and then force awakens rips and then they stuck after that yeah I haven't seen me any other ones

Force awakens gave me real hope me too a new hope yeah me too I thought this is it and then a liberal struck back man the liberals struck back they said You can't have Star Wars. You can take anything you want, but don't take Star Wars. Yeah, but they-

The Liberals got their greedy paws on my Star Wars. But Disney snatched it back. Disney's liberal Star Wars. They're so good. They ruined it. They were like the Acolyte is going to change everything. We believe in the show more than anything. We put the most money into it.

Dude, it got trashed. They pulled all the Acolyte merch out of the store. Which was the Akelet? It was the wrong where there was like all the chick I mean, it's for the boys, dude. Star Wars is for the boys. Here's a thing. Make it all-girl Jedi show.

Just make it good. Make it awesome. Where you're like, this is fucking great. They didn't, it sucked. It sucked. Don't start. They did that whole lesbian planet. Hey.

Doing the pod right now. Here, you're on. My ears must have been burning, bro. I don't know. It's good. so far it's me lamare and derosa we're kind of just talking about stuff we saw a lot of star war a lot of star wars talk who's our it's mccas car oh nice derosa's in your chair right now he says it's his chair now bro he's i i advocate for him immediately mccasher i was confused

when shame texted me i thought he was saying you needed a partner and i was like okay where are we recording then he's like my house i was like uh oh Okay. Where are you going to be? He's like, my house. I was like, why are you doing the podcast? These types of stories is what I've been working with. I mean, it's tough. I'm trying, dude. I'm trying. You would have been pumped. I had some history stuff early. They walked all over it with, uh... Not true. They went straight to Batman versus Superman, Star Wars. Not true. We're going to talk about their favorite toys coming up here in a second.

Those of them are figurine collectors. Matt, you know what he kept saying? He kept going... That's true. I don't even know why I have Matt here. They're going to come together. Yeah, they're going to come together. Yeah. Arab and black autism are uniting.

Man, he keeps saying, he keeps saying McCusker, who. I don't know why I bothered doing this with him. He's talking a lot of shit, dude. Where are you at, Matt? I'm in New York. I just got a, I've been doing my little podcast whirlwind tour. Yeah, it's coming out. I'm very excited for October 7th.

Dude, me too, man. Thank you. All of our plans are going to come. together. Oh, yeah. Finally, dude. Wait, it comes out on October 7? Yeah, Matt's special comes out October 7th.

Holy shit. It's actually, I mean, it's at least, yeah, it's memorable. Yeah, it's easy. Exactly. You're not going to forget. Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that thing. That's when that comes out. Yeah.

I just saw the trailer you posted. It looks wonderful. I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see you. Dude, I can't wait to see you either. All right. I miss you. love you guys

listen bro bye man I said I love you he said I love you guys interesting I felt jealous I felt jealous I don't know that

I have gotten it and I love you from you before you and me say I love you every fucking night but that was that was a very nice sign off and I kind of want to change our dynamic I want to take some of the you're gonna have to make some big changes

I want to take so you've had this question with me before you go how come you don't talk to matt or soda like that no no no no because they are not rotten pigs that's not what i'm saying all the time that's that's what i'm saying you don't talk shit to them like you do to me yes because they don't talk shit to me yeah i know like you do to me well well if i don't want war i've seen war but if you want war so help me god somebody else will be raising your fucking children hold on you cut off my nice thing i was going to say what and i was going to it wasn't going to be nice it was yes it was it was to be nice i was going to say i want to start removing some of the acidity from the relationship

and start to move towards a more caring a more endearing more loving dynamic yeah what are your proposals what changes are you going to make what are you all for me other than let's sounds like you're coming to the table going Shane you need to make some no no no let's be honest we both have some heavy lifting to do but i'll i'll start okay i'll start here's how we can start okay next time we hang out yeah neither of us criticized the other one okay until the other one It's a ceasefire And I'm going to go see you started it

All right, no, ceasefire Seasfire Seasfire But if you're doing something slimy or gay I do get to say that that's slimy and gay But hold on a second Here's the problem You think everything's slimy and gay

That's not true Yes you do You call out No So much shit Nate I don't do that to you You don't call me slimy and gay No

I call you zesty but that's a fun joke you call me slimy and gay why are you gay you are slimy I don't think so I don't you don't really do too many you don't really do too many things

that I would be like stop doing that you don't mean it from the heart I like when you goof off you hit me with a I can't believe you're doing this when I'm having fun but it's because you know it's going to put me in my head

yeah yeah no I mean like if you were and we can delete this part if we need to. Okay. If I saw you sitting at the bar being like talking to a girl being like, oh, that's cool body art you have. Look at this. This piece right here. I got this. Blah, blah, blah. If I'm in the bar and I see you doing that, I'm going to slime you out. Yeah, but see, you shouldn't do that. You got to let your, you got to let your friends work in the way they work. I don't like to see them work that way. No. How do you like to see your friends work? Let a man work. Let them cook. Let them cook. And you have stead.

all my techniques at times. Stepping on your techniques. Oh, my God. It's so funny. The only times I've been talking to a chick at a bar and you're, you're visibly mocking me from across the room. Like, visibly. Like, I, look.

I'm all for one of the bros getting some pussy. But you got to do it the right way. I know how to do it. You got to. You know how to, yeah. I know how to talk. I don't like, you do. You do.

You're very good at. That's why you're very good at. That's why you're very, that's why you remind me a Timberlake. The moose. You remind me the moose, dude. Timberlake, the moose. You remind me at Timberlake, the moose. Shout out, Mussolini.

Justin, Timberlake, Mussolini. But I guess, yeah, maybe that's on me. All right, I'll allow. So I'm saying, I think we both got a little heavy lifted to do. I think we both. It was so hard not to make fun of a guy that's like, it depends how you're talking to a girl. brother if it's like i see you laying it on thick dude i go what is he doing you just play it cool baby play it cool baby you this is listen listen i think we both have to remove some judgment

of the other man's behaviors and i think we'll get very far i like where we're at i don't hate it i like where we're i don't hate it but i will say this we've gotten ourselves into a corner of it's at a nine and a half from the beginning of that. No, it used to be. It used to be. It starts to intense. It's not. That's like three years ago, shit.

Yeah, you're right. It's chilled out. It showed out. Yeah, we'd have, every time we'd go out, we'd have to talk on the phone two days later. Yeah, we go, dude. Yeah, I just, you know, I'm, yeah. Oh, dude. Fuck off.

Fuck off, dude. You fucking, you, you had your share of, come on, you know, the, uh, you know, just poking, poking from the, poking, you're a poker. You got a little brother syndrome. Admit that you're a poker. You got a lot of little brother in you. You're, you've got a lot of big brother in you. You poke first. Sometimes.

Sometimes I go. Mom! Sometimes I poke first. Sometimes you poke first. Admit it. Sometimes you sit on my head in the living room. Just right away. yeah i'll tell you a huge moment huge moment for us this huge positive huge positive moment

this year when it when uh when we got a little tense on my birthday as we did last year on my birthday you said to me you go you get a little sensitive around your birthday don't you and i was like yeah dude dude i get oh you got way too sensitive that was a huge moment for me that you recognize man get in your head listen voss man was in there boss man in my head and me's wanting to say voss shut the fuck up that's two different things boss is like a cheese grater after a while and you're like bro shut up dude yeah but it's so funny it's he doesn't say anything mean no no you're just like boss shut up shut up yeah he's just having fun he's talking about israel for 25 minutes and then he's like for some reason with him i don't care

When he's like, do you see what they're doing now? They keep hiding under the schools. Yeah, all right. This is Voss. This is what he did. When we were in Yellow Springs, we went to this comic book, the comic store where I bought that Bobafet comic book. Yeah.

When I first saw it, I was in the store with Voss earlier that day. And he comes up to me and he goes, he goes, do you, the number one Superman, the first one, I go, the action comics, number one where he's like holding the car over his in. He's like, yeah. he goes, that's worth money, right? And I go, yeah, it's considerable money. And he goes, I have it. And I go, you have action.

You don't have it. And he goes, no, no, no, I swear to God. He goes, I have it for when I was, like, my dad gave it to me from whatever. And he's like, I have it. He goes, and I knew it was probably worth something. Like, so I kept it in decent shape, but like, I don't know. I just never sold it. Do you think it's worth anything?

And I go, yeah, it's probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And he goes, psych. he just never had you I don't give a shit if you don't have a valuable thing like what is the joke I don't even understand what the joke is boss man baby

Voss is in your head of what he'll do all day and you're like Voss shut up I love it I love it I'm bringing him to Vegas you're not getting one weekend

without the Voss man you're not getting one without boss let's go dude The boss man's on your ass. The boss man cometh. Boss dominates gross. Yeah.

Because boss is also bulletproof. Yeah. He's bulletproof? Yeah. You can make fun of him all day. Yeah. Nothing. In one of the other.

Just every insult. He just laughs with you. I love the boss man. I love the boss man. He'll get you. But you know you're wasting the slot in Vegas. With the soberman? You need to put.

With a fucking. adventure degenerate into that no no i've got a nice thing going on the road i know degenerate one sober all right fair enough yeah i noticed Tommy and bobby yeah yeah I saw yeah yeah you're bringing a soapy in you do you bring the sobs yeah and j's only gonna have three beers jays going to bed at 10 p.m yeah yeah yeah j's gonna go play a steam deck yeah yeah bobby's gonna wear fucking sunglasses not drink yeah yeah but then you got the pope the pope that's like having three out piece be one The Pope-o-Mobile is flying, dude. The Pope-Mobile.

He is. He's not stopped, dude. That's what it is. From there on, that's drinking with Pope. I want the Pope-Mobile the night, dude. He just goes, dude. He brought, so we got off the plane and went to the mothership. He brought a paper cup with no ice filled to the brim with tequila.

Jesus. It was like a crumbled up. And he put it on the, no one else was in the bar. So they were like cleaning up. And he put the paper cup on the bar and went to the bathroom. And then he said he walked back in and he heard me being like, well, yeah, he's a fucking alcoholic. Wait, was this Saturday night?

Yeah. We got in like, we got in like one. We just missed you guys. Dude, I left because I was like, nothing's going on. I'm going to sit here and drink for no reason. It's good. It's good. We missed everybody and just went home.

Holy shit, dude. That is so fucking funny. Yeah, our last, I told you. Oh, this is my favorite. He got in, he got in the car, or we were leaving, leaving the hotel. And sometimes autographed people show up. And I, you know, I'm hung over. It's the next morning.

I'm like, God, I get in the car, I'm like, he's fucking, dude. And they're not fans. They're just people selling signatures. Yeah. And it's like, Jesus. Like, sometimes they're like, Sean, Sean. Like, all right. Big fan.

And I get in the car. I'm like, Jesus, fucking Christ, dude. These guys suck. And he just looks at me, he goes, God forbid somebody, God forbid somebody loves you. And I was just like, oh, you're hammered? It's fucking 11 a.m., dude. It's like, you're drunk right now. And he was like, yeah, I got the, yeah, I got a fucking buddy.

The Eagles played the day, the last, my last mothership show was Sunday. Yeah. And the Eagles played that day. It was Eagles, Rams. Yeah. The whole squad was hurting. So, dude, I show up. I stay in all day.

Tony and everybody, they're out bar hop, and they're like, come on, pig. And I'm like, I can't guys. I'm like, I can't guys. I'm sure. yeah yeah yeah Tony's like the pig signal is in the air let's go dude and I was like I got a show dude I'll meet you an hour before I can't bar hop with you guys anyway I finally I show up at copper tank like an hour before the show and Pope is sitting there and I walk up he's sitting like this and I walk up to the table and I go what's up dude I hit him on the shoulder and he goes

like this dude he goes I don't like He goes, I've been drinking since 9 a.m. I was like, oh, my God. It's not good. Went out. That was a rough one. Killed like he was sober. Killed like, couldn't, you couldn't tell he had one drink.

Yeah, his stand-up is pretty, he can do it hammered. You couldn't, yeah, it was wild. You couldn't tell he had one drink. That was a fun night, though. That was, Tony was hammered. I've never, he's been getting, it's very funny. He's like, I just. realized getting as drunk as possible is fun it rocks don't do it too much but it does rock

now we always sing this song when we see we see each other I was like you should not tell anyone this but go out there all right go ahead do it see I'm trying to help you you're you're trying to help you I swear but go ahead no no no you're doing your little what was what's the song you and Tony sing when you see each other you're doing your little I just saved you you think I'm being a bad guy I know I'm Snape right now this whole time you thought I was against you did you know I'm snake

dude Snape Snape the hut All right I won't tell the song Please tell the song No no no No I'd really like to know

It's where we're hammered I know but I'd like to know it now I know Because we're always like All right dude Let's chill out tomorrow night Let's not do anything And then we then

Cut to the next night 2 a.m We're like Well we did it again And he goes Because we got a problem and that's the song we sing a song go we got a problem it makes us laugh and yeah cut that out cut that out nope cut that out because we got a problem it's funny to sing oh that's gonna come back to

haunt you it's funny to sing it's funny to sing well when you're drunk it seems very funny i love sing when i get drunk me and the boys we had a quartet what do you guys sing we fucking uh and if i ever uh no it's a fall in love by shock but i can't remember shay i think it's about him hit some uh ccr can you sing yeah can you sing uh if i ever fall in love of you which one is that the one you would just say and you sing oh and if that's k c c and jojo though yeah yeah well i'm not sure who is can you sing it can you sing it is as literally as as as hard as you can no if i'm drunk like no but like right now can you sing i'm not i can't it's a fun game to play you try to make your boys actually sing?

Yeah. That's why I have committed to that we've got a problem. I know. I would have liked to hear you really sing. Don't cut that out, but cut out what I said, cut that out. Keep them all in. Although that's funny. It's a dumb thing you do with your friend when you're drunk and it's funny to you guys.

It is funny, and I'm excited to sing it with you. Yeah. I bet you have a good time singing it with us. Probably will. Ten beers will change that out. I'm usually in a pretty jolly mood. God damn, drinking is fun. Why does it never get old?

Why does it never get old? Are you sure? You get so old. Like you said, one, two days off, and you're like, I'm back. Day three comes around. I go, I'm going to have a couple. Yeah. I take it easy tonight.

But my point is this, like with mushrooms, for instance, right? I had I had a bad trip over COVID and I was like that's it I'm never taking mushroom people do that with alcohol

that are not alcoholics I don't get wine no matter how bad of a hangover I've ever had it never sticks like no don't do this anymore yeah there's hangovers you wake up and go

all right fucking I'm done yeah I'm not gonna drink for two weeks yeah fucking Wednesday that's what I'm saying Guess who just got back today?

You know what I think the difference is? You know what I think the difference is? I think it's easier to quit a drug because a drug, the bad part happens during. With booze, the bad part happens after. And that's why it's always so hard to remember that part. In other words, if I drank... I also think alcohol is extremely addictive. Sure.

That might be it. too. But if I drank and I started having panic attacks while I was drinking, I'd be like, I'm not doing it. Are you terrified? You know what I mean? Like you would like a bad acid trip or something. But like the bad part of alcohol is just you feel like hell the next day sometimes. Oh, that's a good PBS doc on Prohibition. Yeah. It's pretty good. What do they say? The thing I never really thought of was so like women were really leading the Prohibition Movement. They were like, we need to make alcohol illegal because or no, but that's what I was. always thought oh just ruining a fucking good time yeah turns out there's no laws back then about

beating the fuck out of your family or raping your wife okay so these guys would come home no there's no law stable these guys would come home just whoop their family's ass they thought taking the booze away would make the guys less angry I would I would bet the beatings after the booze was taken away no these guys were coming home dude they drank back then yeah yeah yeah yeah dude they had a hard day the food's cold you know and also you're blacked out yeah and you're working in a fucking factory

I mean it's you know jobs sucked back then your kids are shit I'm not justifying what they did sounds like it it's a powder keg is what I'm saying I'm justifying it you justify the kids are shit the wife doesn't fucking do her shit you want to hit them

you know you're blacked out you got to to the moon Remember Goodfellas? Remember Goodfellas when his dad beats him up real bad Because he hasn't been going to school for months? Yeah Like imagine the rage you would have felt If you immigrated here from Ireland or Italy or wherever

Because you wanted to have a better life for your family And then you have a kid here All you sacrificed for him And then your kid turns out to be a punk I can't imagine the fucking rage you would feel about that You know what I mean? like it's it's beyond disappointment yeah you know it's beyond you're like i sacrificed literally everything to try to build this for you guys and you don't appreciate it like you know those that's

why those guys i think drank so much i'm not saying that's the only reason but it's a hell of them it's a hell of a reason yeah you know but you little punk when i was your age i had four jobs yeah yeah but fucking i mean man i wonder what it was like to get cocked in a bar like i mean there must have been fights every night and yeah yeah they're talking about how the bars were back down and it was what did they say it was just it was brutal yeah it was everything you think just guys getting stabbed yeah and the the amount like america drank more than every country on earth like immediately like just immediately because it was all fucking immigrants from my like poor immigrants they were just obliterated and other like people were like this is going to ruin

this country yeah we took right off off yeah we took right off it's good you should check it out prohibition on pbs is it ken burns uh it's ken burns adjacent if it's not ken is it barry burns the brother of ken this mysterious this mysterious uh ken burns brother did uh when was prohibition the 30s right was it was it was the fuck had to be right it would have been the 20s it would have in the 20s it's Al Capone time yeah like late 20s maybe 20s 30s yeah okay damn dude I didn't know it was that long but it just immediately led to gangsters and it's pretty cool it's a cool time there's this bar with the roaring 20s and then into the great

depression they had to fucking let the booze out there in the depression they were like all right fucking and by the way dude the depression was detox yeah how fun would it have been to get fucked up in the Roaring 20s because you had to drink it like little speakeas and secret places would have been fun. Oh, it would have been like high school. Yeah. Chicks to fuck into the woods. I went to this

one place in Worcester. It's like a pirate tavern. It's like a bar barbed. But under it, they had the Babe Ruth, they had a prohibition like What is? Speakeasy. Yeah, it was speak easy. But there was like a, it was connected to the water where they would like send bottles of alcohol there and they would just pick them up

for like Bay Ruth and like athletes and stuff. that's cool yeah the um i like that lemaer i feel like it's go fuck i feel like it was like i feel like speak easy's like prohibition i feel like it was like prostitution where like there's a goddamn massage parlor every three feet you know what's going on in a lot of these places it's like the cops never raid them they just operate yeah i feel like that's how prohibition was yeah the term bootleggar came from uh just guys who would sell booze on the street they would just keep like in their socks or their pants they would have a bottle and you just go up and take a swig and then put it back and they call them bootleggers now i get it what do you think about that fellas interesting stuff

my coffee thing flew over there sorry that's sorry we should end this podcast matth we miss you we love you october 7th matth matthew's new special comes out also baltimore there's still tickets left come to that show Thank you.