Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 588 Horse Life Feat Lemaire Lee Nate Marshall

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support the Broz @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Shawn Gardini Live IN BATAVIA SUNDAY please if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live Yo0o0ooooo. Here's the cast for you. Matt and the broz held it down this week. A lot of doo doo talk up top. Sorry about that, just keeping it one thousand. We talk about other stuff too. Please enjoy. God Bless. ps final conquistadors on the paytch Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! $35 off Carver Mat https://on.auraframes.com/MSSP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Wild Wild West. I'm a night shower. I don't really shower in the morning. I'm a night shower guy. It depends what I'm, well, no, I usually in mornings. But flights, I try, I sometimes will bus out of. Shower? I might bus out of night shower before the flight.

Before the flight? Yeah. I don't even wipe my ass before a flight. Dude, do you see they, I think Spirit banned PJs on the airplane? What do you mean? You can't wear people? Spirit Airlines kind of did pull your pants up. Oh, they did look at yesterday.

They did the class. They're like no PJs. I kind of, for real for a though, I'm with that. No, that's crazy. Just put on sweat pants. That's what I was saying. It's like put on some sweats.

Just put on sweats. Swets are more comfortable anymore. Sweets are PJs. No, they're not. Not for real. Sweets. No, dude,

wearing sweatpants and PJs in public are two totally different things. What do you mean? Like just the checker. Flannel PJs. Yeah. Flannel PJs. It's bad. They're saying like,

dude, no more. It's also they're like, maybe people stop wearing PJs. People act a little nicer and more courteous. It's like, Damn, dude, you're dancing around. Dude, they put

Spirit in a bus stop out here. Like, it's like, come on, dude. But you still don't wear pajamas out. I like, I'm, I'm, it should be a $5 fine. To wear pajamas? If you're not with pajamas and policeman,

you write you a $5 ticket. Put it on my ticket, dude. Put it on my tab. I didn't get cheeks one time when I was young because it was this one I learned the no, I was a pajamas in public. I'm not going to lie. And I saw this girl that I was like talking to,

but we didn't smash. And then she said, saw me like coming out of my friend's house in pajamas but this is like 3 p.m. You know what I mean? I clearly was in my pajamas for this the morning and like I texted her she was like so I saw you early today you're fucking pajamas and it's over and it was over it was pretty much it was more words than that but it was yeah that was that was it. she had more words but she's like one day you'll see you'll go you're on spirit airlines I my favorite to see at the airport is I've noticed I've seen women just wear basically

their underwear on the plane. Have ever seen that? Yeah. It's kind of crazy when you go, what the fuck? Yeah, I go, yeah, I mean, sluts on the plane.

All these sluts on this motherfucker fucking plane. That's been an issue too. Ladies have got in trouble. There was one lady who couldn't board because she was just like her whole ass was out and the pilot was like,

no, you can't. You can't bring your ass. Can't bring all that. Can't bring your ass on this plane. Dude, I got, my kid fucked me up recently. I was like sitting there.

I was doing something. I think Brittany was watching our one kid's hair in the sink Maya, the older ones. And then the younger one was just on the couch watching TV. And I went to like hook her, she was like, I'm cold. I went to like hit her with a blanket. And she popped up and she had her pants down, her ass was out.

I was like, what the fuck are you doing? She was like, just been scratching my butthole. And I was like, get the fuck up and wash your hands. She's like, I like, I like how it smells. I'm like, dude, get up. Get up. I was like just completely dumbfound out. It like, no, it actually smells bad. And she's like, no, it doesn't. I'm like, yes, it does.

asses smell bad. Just dude, the full surprise moon was crazy. Just casually pants down so you can scratch your ass. It's so funny. I mean the reason it is and just be like, I don't mind the smell.

It's like no, it's bad. It's a bad. And you're like touching my fucking face. I know you're digging into your ass all the time. That's one of the ones you got to convince him like, no, I promise you this is not the right thing. But then here's the thing. A big old hypocrite that I am.

So I'm like, yeah, dude, your ass doesn't, nobody's ass smells good. I was like, I get how you can get tricked into thinking it's at least interesting to smell your ass. But I was like, it's no good. And then that night, dude, I went back on the raw milk hard in him. Along with the Parmesan cheese. Egan told me Parmesan Regineo is made, or whatever, however you say it, is made with raw milk as well. I know this.

I just been crushing Parmesan cheese and raw milk and a ton of steak, which apparently cooks up the most insane farts. Who are diabolical farts? Dude, they're like, no, literally like. Like, it's, there are the types of farts that like you get like mad at the, like really mad. Because of the smell or the same. It smells so bad that you're like, dude, what the fuck's wrong with you? They got ozimic farts. Yeah, pretty much.

It's almost the point where it's like almost innate where you're just kind of like, get away from me now because like you're sick. I'm scared of you. Get away from me. And like, so I lay there. I'm in bed. My wife passed out and I'm just like laying there reading a book. And I just start, dude, like 30 second long hot farts.

And I'm going like, I have no business. If I have a hot fart that I can tell, like it's coming, I will do the courtesy of getting out of bed and I go to our closet and I fart in our closet. And I chill. I do a 10 second like chill. So it doesn't follow me in. I give that much courtesy. Because sometimes I can get like, it's not all the time. But if I have like a fart attack like that, it could be a good like two hours of the night where like I would completely change the atmosphere of our room.

So I was like, it was one of those nights. Yeah, you wake up. It's all muggy. It knows or fog. But you've changed the smell of a room before. Yeah. Well, of course. It's like a humidifier.

That's where babes get off the funny. They're like, it's not funny. And you've literally altered the atmosphere. So they don't, you know. So if I have one of those nights, I try to like at least step outside or like, don't, you know, I'll like give a little bit and see. And if it's like, however it's met, I'll be, all right, I'll go to the closet. But the, uh, let's go fart in the fucking walk in. But the, so I'm laying there.

I'm so cozy in bed. And my wife passed out. and I just start like, dude, just crushing like 30 second hot farts. And I was like kind of surprised. I'm like, how does this not smell? But there was all trapped under the blanket. Oh. And the whole thing is I was like telling my daughter like, dude, like don't smell your ass.

That's crazy. I couldn't help it. I was like, does it smell? I started for real sipping, dude. I'd be like, I take a little smell. And I was like, dude, that is. You gave your. You gave your.

Yeah. Well, I was just letting a little bit out to test the waters just to see if it smelled. And it did. I call it the whiff. And I was like, it was almost so, it was, it was like so heady that I was like, this is like intoxicating. It was crazy. And then I like, and then finally I'm letting little, I'm letting it out more and more. Because I'm like, I got to get it out from one of this blanket.

So I started letting out. And finally, like I got up fully to go to the bathroom to take a pee. And as I started to get out of bed, my wife woke up out of, I knew you were going to say you woke up. Deep sleep. Dude, out of deep sleep. It was so bad. She popped up. It was like, what the fuck?

and she like oh she never says like bro or dude but she was so tired she's what the fuck bro bro oh my god what the fuck she was like literally being like

like fuck you and she was mad at me and then she passed back out and she I've never checked she doesn't know this happened really she was a remember she totally might be flat dude I did fart knocked her back out

she passed back out and like it's been two days and I have yet to bring it up but she hasn't said anything Dude, you hear it with the bro. I got away with the absolute murder. Yeah. Yeah.

The bro getting like a fuck you, bro out of my wife was like, what the fuck? I was like, Jesus Christ. You hit her with the holy ghost, dude. Oh, fuck you, bro. What the fuck? I was hallowing laughing in bed. She was like, fuck you think this is funny. And I'm like, no, I'm not laughing.

He's not funny. Oh, it was literally watching her go zombie mode from like an absolute. I mean, it was like, it was like, like a royal it was like a spoiled fruit far it was it was I mean I feel ashamed even talking about I shouldn't talk about it no raw milk milk far it sounds like raw milk the parmesan dude is what really gets you to pinch your nose

the parmesan hits you with notes that you're like the parmesan gives you some exquisite noots gives you a different taste on your fire a nice twist I was it's okay to tell I was talking about this last night I said December is officially anal health awareness month Yeah, no, not November. And then now it's no solid log, December. Because I, yeah, I mean, it's, sorry, guys, this is going to be a diarrhea podcast.

Yeah, diarrhea in the summer. Hey, sorry, man. It's, I think the whole, the whole squad's got diarrhea. You said you did basically a sampler basket. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I had one of those two where it's one of every type of turn. You're like, what the fuck is my bar?

It's a smorgas board. It's shrimp. It's a log. And then it's just like chowdered. A little mac, tato. Oh, it's crazy, dude. I had one of those yesterday that was the full smorgas board that now I'm just locked into diarrhea. I'm just in diarrhea right now, which is I haven't had diarrhea in a while, but it's like, I'm rocking it.

I'm like, I kind of like diarrhea better than regular poop. Honestly, dude, so do I. I like, I don't mind a pile. But once it's like you to get a hot pile, a hot pile, like the true heat from diarrhea is the worst. It's all about solid diarrhea ratio. Diarrhea is a nice treat. If you can't be the mainstay. If you're locked in diarrhea,

I'll get scared. After four days, I start going, all right, what's going on? That's it? Four days? Yeah, I get alarmed. You should, too. Don't lower the bar. Four days is nothing.

Four days is nothing. Four days with mental solid turbs is nothing. I had my first log today. I was really happy. Oh, yeah. You had stomach problems over the holidays. I struggled with the neurovirus, yeah. You had to cancel the show.

I had to cancel the show. said last night at the noctus I was pissing out of my ass and shitting out of my mouth 24 hours straight you look for real like you lost Ted Pals I did as a cleanse yeah you probably did honestly I kind of like it I feel like healthier now

and you were locked up with Bay and her family yeah how was that you're going as a guest and just shitting and puking the whole time you got it you talk no

is that too many is that too many is that TMI I don't want to talk about it because I think like her cousins and stuff listen to this but it was like wait so you were secretly throwing up and shit no no they know that I was really really sick but I don't want to get into the nitty degree I want to know what

happened in the term it was just like dear I lost control of all my faculty and like I was busting out of it but you got to be quiet though no I mean I should have been quiet but I wasn't I couldn't help it like I wonder if any of them thought you were toned up

they're like damn Sean This fucking assail it up. They're like, this fucking asshole. They invite him to our house for Thanksgiving. He's up there and tearing it up. You're like, you're visibly lost five pounds. Like, yo, how much this dude spray? This is crazy. So they knew you were sickly. They knew you were diarrhea and vomit, but they didn't, they were polite about it. They didn't say. They were nice about it. Yeah. They, one of her aunts was a nerve.

she offered to get me an IV. It was like horrible. Like I couldn't drink water. I just wanted water so bad. I was so thirsty. Every time I would drink anything, I would just puke it immediately. Oh, it stinks.

Weirdestly, can you still rip sigs or was like, you had to check out of it? That was the first time I probably wanted a day without a sig in years. Dang. How to feel? I didn't even notice.

Yeah, and I went to bed at like 6 p.m. And I woke up at like noon the next day. Dang. That's nice. 24 hour bug 24 hours and uh one of her aunt they were really nice they got me like a bunch of drinks and and one of them gave me like these nice nausea pills that helped me sleep really hard so everyone was really yeah yeah everyone was really nice and helped me out a lot but it was still

humiliating that was like your first time meeting most of them right most of them yeah yeah it was the most embarrassing thing ever hello uncle zach that's what it was like i was i was I was praying to God and like cursing my stomach, like probably loudly in the bathroom. I couldn't help it. Like, it was, I had no control. My shit was toned. That's exactly what it sounded like. Did you get to eat any of the Thanksgiving meal?

Yeah, because it was right after Thanksgiving that I got sick. Oh, no. So my lady was sick on Thanksgiving. She didn't get to. You got the bug from her? Yeah, I know I got the bug from her ass. You're probably bug. All the little kids got it too

Did they? Yeah, it sucks. How many bathrooms did it? This in that place. Well, they all went home. But I hope they didn't get it. That would be bad. If I brought a plague upon, no, like her aunt that I was staying at and stuff.

She's a nurse, bro. She's probably champing that shit. If I brought a plague upon their family, that would be a horrible thing. I've heard, I don't know if this is true or not, I heard after you work a long time as a nurse, you just don't throw up at all, you just take huge shits. like every disease just flies out of your big butt you're a nurse and you catch anything like they do it all COVID that's how they made it through COVID remember how they say like there's certain diarrhea cases

that was all nurses expelling germs out of their butt they put filtration in their butt it's kind of nice though never get a sore throat just a little diarrhea you back yeah so why they're so horny they're never sick they never sick no disrespect but the

nurses you know how it is yeah Nurses and teachers have to be the highest per capita only fans to job ratio. Yeah, I'd say that. I didn't know teachers were as naughty. I know nurses are certainly naughty. Teachers teeter. And they hide it, I think.

We had a teacher in an all-boy school who just had massive tits and just buttoned her shirt down and showed them to everybody all day. And you can't tell me that she wasn't completely getting off on that all the time. She was like worshipped by the whole student body. We had a teacher with a, she was a white lady with a fat ass. I want to say her name, but I don't want to do that. But she, like, leaned against the chalkboard one day. She was always kind of flirty with all the students, but she leaned against the chalkboard, like, just leaned back. She had chalk on her butt, and she did a, like, we told her, and then she goes, can y'all get it for me?

And everybody ran up. It was, it was me, my boyfriend, this boy, Andre that just started. So, like, hit it with that. And it was kind of the best. Then she got fired. And for, like, she, like, kicked a girl just, like, play, kicked her in their leg or something. It's weird. Yeah, I've had weird teacher, like, crazy teachers.

that and they always get fired for like bullshit yeah probably because the school kind of knows they're up to and then they're like we got to get them out of here and then she started dating a kid after she got fired she was like picking up a senior from so they they were probably like yeah yeah that's why she got fired that's the real reason probably yeah it's also funny to be a principal and be like um you have to bring like your council of administrators and be like the history teacher's a giant perverted whore she can't not be contained she's a pedophilius whore You just walk by the room And saw you guys smacking chalk off her butt

That's crazy She did that It's for real crazy It didn't even hit me out You know it's one of the things When you're young You don't realize I'm crazy

You think about it later Like you know No I had a teacher in high school How was just I was a teacher do you know She was young She was like That was like her first real

I'm a teacher teaching job She was like 25 You have to give her an excuse A chance for that Yeah But that was ninth grade Here's the thing though Dude adult teacher

Yeah Adult teacher or not even adult teachers, adult women, and nobody ever wants to hear this, a lot of the shows they like center around high school romance. Yeah. It's kind of weird.

They'll only get an adult woman will watch a high school love story over and over and over. And it's just kind of like, like dude, they put out euphoria. Yeah. And that was like total backlash,

but there's every other show is like, like a lot of college chicks watch are centered around high school shit. I had a... They're doing college now. College? Yeah. Euphoria is the last high school show.

Wait, they went like, what college dramas are they have? I mean, there was like... The sex lives of college girls. Okay, yeah, sure. Not the subtlest of touches. That's a TV show. The sex lives of college. Yeah.

Huh. It's all H-Bow. Damn. I'm looking forward to BBC in the city. That'll be nice. Yeah, that's kind of weird. How was the show? Did you watch it?

I watched like two episodes. I wonder, it was all right. It's fine. You love girls. It's girl trash. No, I don't watch a lot of girl trash. What was the one? Didn't she used to watch the stripper one?

What was the stripper? P-world or something like that? No. What am I thinking of? Insecure. That's a secure. That's good. It's good stuff, dude.

It's not that bad. I like true. Good TV. Yeah, that's fair. I don't know. I don't have time for that stuff. I was thinking about it yesterday, dude. I don't have time for that bullshit.

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What happened? I don't know, dude. I just like, you know how like you, uh, I don't know if you guys have this. But like a lot of times I would just get like weird feelings all the time and be like, I don't know, man, life's kind of weird. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. They've just gone away. And I just kind of like stand in my house, devoid of emotions. And I'm like, what do I have to do this week? I just kind of like stare at stuff. Oh, I think that's it. Yeah. I'm like, I'm telling you, I don't have like any thoughts anymore. I just kind of like stare at my family. And I'm like, fuck, I got to move you guys to this place, drop you off. And then just like, think, think about what I have to do. And I just do it. And I'm like, all right, that's done.

shit and then uh you ever see a dad walk around and look at stuff yeah it's kind of cool you have a chair do you have like your own chair that this is like where i sit when i'm in the house no that's the final frontier yeah yeah i uh you've been looking at chairs you've been looking them up i don't see i don't watch tv i mean so i kind of just like uh i stand and eat every meal i stand for the most of the day and then i finally just lay down and i lay there and read a book for like 15 minutes and then i fall asleep You live a horse's life. I really do. And if I have free time at all, I'd take a walk.

I just walk around and go. This is a nice pond. That's not a little. I'm living a horse's life. No, it's crazy, dude. I got buttoned down shirts now because I'm a man. I like to sign a button down shirts. It's a good, dude.

I noticed what you want. I was like, dude, Matt looks like an adult. The crocs, I got to chill with these crocs. Can't stop. These crocs. I tell you about these things. No. I got them from it's a sporting goods store kind of near my house.

Yeah. It's not Dix. Huh? Academy, but Academy. Academy's nice. And they also have like a lot of like industrial stuff. So like you go in there.

Dix has a lot of sporting goods, outdoor stuff. Academy from what I've noticed has a heavy Mexican clientele. Yeah, yeah. So like dude, I got these crocs and these crocs like they're not normal crocs. You can tell by the heel of these things. These things are for like. Was it working crocs? Single mothers who work in like slaughterhouses on a night shift.

These are like industrial crops. These are for women who are like lives are just completely spinning out of control around them. But their feet feel amazing while they're like beheading cattle. Those are popping up blood. You have to go home and wring out your socks. Yeah. No, these are like nurse crocs. These are for people on their feet all day.

Dude, I can't take these things off. They're awesome. It's embarrassing. I like, I literally wear these everywhere and I got to stop. I just, I look at my shoes and I'm like, I could untie them and tie them or I can slip into my Mexican lady crux. So, yeah, Academy Sports, dude, that's my commercial for it. That place. I like a cat.

A bump the Limerick Academy. The store dicks, let's say, let's call it what the store dicks. I'm not going to say Dix and Dicks rolls. The store dicks is great. I love the store named Dix. Academy kind of, I think Academy kind of crushes it, dude. Academy might. I don't know.

I didn't give it too much exploration. We went. I was just buying 10. Texas stuff. Yeah. Texas gear. Yeah. You stayed towards the front, basically.

Yeah. No, bro. You can, it's, it's amazing. Dude, I think, I think Richards has a bigger inventory, though.

You think Richard says it bigger. Yeah, Richard's got it. Richards has a bigger, more impressive inventory. But, dude, if you're trying to get

like waterproof hazmat boots and a basketball, yeah. Academy's got you. All day. You want to get like a reflective vest and,

you know, hockey sticks, too. it's the weird They do have all the like car hurt in the back Yeah And they have no like Dix is like Set up nicely where it's like

It's just white walls and just crap Academy go there's just white bright walls Academy feels like Kmart Yeah how Kmart used to feel just True Sports Kmart Tony man these I mean look at the fucking heel on these crocs This is crazy

For a second I thought I heard you rip ass No that's the table is With the weight of couch when you went back I know No, I literally can if I rip asses. That would have been too Alfa to put your leg up big podcast. Although now that I'm a man, I could have ripped the ass on you. I don't even know.

Yeah, maybe I did. Yeah, it's kind of nice. So you're engaged. You're staring down in the barrel of just zero mental activity and a swollen prostate. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it starts right away. Like, I got engaged and it's, it's changed. I don't know.

Mentally, it's changed. It's changed. Everything's changed. Something, but I don't know what it is. Like, I can't even put my. finger and it just does feel different. I don't like when she brings up. She's going to hear this, but I don't like what she calls herself

my, or me, her fiance. I hate the term fiancee. I hate it. Yeah, I don't like the term fiance, especially if you have to introduce her in this next, whatever, however long you do a year or two. There's nothing worse than like having a sweater on at some dumb party and be like, this is my fiance. You just feel like a, it's such a fucking noodle.

It feels like, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah. We should just do like my super bitch. I kind of love it. This is my super bitch. Yeah, she, she does it with too much joy, too. She'll be, she'll be talking.

I hear on the phone and go, my fiancee. And then like, yeah, like I hear like a girl voice. And it's like, yeah, dude.

I mean, it's, I, I'm like haunted by memories of standing over like a bowl of buffalo chicken dip. Just like red face in a sweater being like, oh,

this is my, uncle, this is my fiance. Did you meet my fiance? He's like, God, I feel like such a fucking pussy. Yeah.

wife is nice so when did you get the same wife it's nice wife feels like adult stuff like we yeah yeah fiance feels lame fiancee feels kind of gay it feels like girl stuff it does just you what yeah I mean you're gonna have to think about how you're gonna handle that yeah my babe this is my babe I still say my girl and this she'll try to be like fiance and I'll be like you keep saying that not much longer I love I love threatened and then does not be engaged anymore yeah I could turn back in any moment oh yeah Put the ring on the dog. You have a powerful coin in your hand right now.

Let's go. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's a problem. Once those down payments are down, yeah. Caterers are secured.

So start calling your bluff. I'm still thinking a lope. You love is nice. A lope seems, a lope and maybe a party. Still want to, still want to party with the brink. If you always shake your head.

You love weddings. You love pageantry. I want you guys to spend money. See? Has she thrown. the engagement ring back at you yet taking it off and like fuck you and throwing it at you? I

am so short hand sort I feel like she knows if she tried that with me I'd return I'd do something but I'd pawn it like I wouldn't I might regret it later but if she threw it back at me I'll go I'm pawning it. You gotta catch it in your mouth and swallow you

I've been telling my wife all of her jewelry's cubic sarconium it's my favorite thing bro why it's like you can't tell the difference Like, yeah, every chance I get, I'm like, oh, I love this ring. I'm like, you know, it's cubic sarconia. Yeah, I'm like, go get to test it. I paid the guy to say it was a diamond.

Stop. It's not funny. It's the truth. It's, yeah, that's a, man, that's a fucking racket. Diamonds, dude, they can just synthetically make diamonds now. They were, they actually, they do it now. They make them pink now. Hall?

They make them pink now. Yeah. Stephen Singer, you make some pink. I hate Steven Singer. actually I do hate that store I do hate that store I actually hate Steve's I went in there one time

the whole engagement thing and I just walked out of like man this place fucking sucks so bad also I buying jewelry sucks so bad because you look at one thing and you're like all right it's 12 hunge and you go all right

fucking you go what about that one that's like a fucking millimeter bigger like that's $75,000 You're like, what the fuck, man? How? It's just a more flawless, it's like, men, shut up. I got kind of lucky. I'm getting cubic sarconium off Amazon.

I got kind of lucky. My girl, she literally requested not a diamond. She was like, I want a garnet. So a kind of, that's nice. Her ring is big as hell, but it's like, it's garnet. It was a garnet. That's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Now, that's the move. I told them, I was like, I want the most violently acquired diamond, you guys have. I was like, I want a little card with, like, the body count. I want to see the child soul Anyone lose her hand? I want to see the naked children who cut their penises off by taking this out of their Sir, let me give you this vocal haram ring

That's the blood of a million children on it Their souls as well Yeah, blood diamonds are underrated Yeah, they're really hard It's just like Dude, it was good, dude It was good back in the day What? Blood diamonds, it was good stuff right there

Already, I don't think, I guess, I don't know Maybe all the diamonds they're all got like mine for the most part and they're just sitting in warehouse they're sitting like de beers warehouses they're doing blood cobalt man blood cobalt blood cobalt blood copper the cell phone yeah that is the funniest thing how everyone always goes well you know your cell phone is actually made by slave labor and everyone goes yeah whatever i need that so i can't complete it is kind i mean it's so are my shoes and so are my pants yeah true yeah it's one of those things you hear about and you go well all right fair enough you know what happens in

And, you know, Guam is none of my business, actually. I'm more of a states, right? God, damn. What happens in Guam's really none of my business? Dude, they're still, China's taking over in Africa like crazy right now. Still? Yeah.

They're almost done. Really? Yeah, dude. Oh, did you see the guy in Namibia? His name's like Adolf Hitler, Unquanco, and he got elected as president. Adolf Hitler got elected in China? Or mayor in Namibia in Africa.

I mean, ah, man, that's pretty wild. What are they, it's pretty crazy to think about, like, do you think the Chinese like interlopers have set up like little corner stores in Africa? Tiny bags of chips. You know, and everybody who walks in. They teach a bunch

of African guys how to squat and smoke first. It's like step one. I don't know. Do you think Africa will rise up against the Chinese overlords? No. The Chinese overlords mistreat the... I've seen videos of them like smacking them with sticks at construction sites and shit. Really? Like, just Just real snap.

Just hitting with big ass like What? Not like Kind of Things where they look like I don't know Bamboo but I don't They gotta be shipping the bamboo

Dude what the fuck man They're shipping in the bamboo Just the smack people We need a smack and sticks Is that a real thing? Are they really? I saw that years ago I haven't seen it probably since like

It was like It was like peak COVID time When I was you're all on your phone And I was seeing Let me say They got the friendship out of there Then they took over all the minds Now they're fucking

killing us It's the technology See, my thing is, do you really think America would let that happen? Yeah. They will let China take over Africa. Are you think they're going to let them do it and then take it from China? I don't know what the plan is because they've been there. They've been there for a little bit.

Yeah, I think we're going to leave them over there. We're going to go after Venezuela. We're going to South America now. You think so? Yeah, we're about to take their resources. Okay, I'll take, you know. It's closer, I think. What does Venezuela have oil?

Oh, yeah. I'm going to get that muffling out. Oh. I heard the guy Okay, this is that shit where they They trap these African nations in unsustainable debt And then they take their natural resources

America's been doing this forever too Yeah They really did just steal our playbook Yeah, but I Dude, I just You know I feel like America Kind of knows what's good

But again's good Because America's been on this for fucking ever Giving people being like We'll give you loans to do infrastructure And then they go Oh shit you've defaulted We're going to take all of your natural resources So you think America was like we don't even need what Africa's got?

We can either take your resources or put a McDonald's right here. I don't know. I'd have to consult my sources high up in the government to find out. I was pretty high. We did unveil a new jet that looks so better than anything I've seen China put out. Like an F? They got like a hypersonic jet that took its first flight. And that's pretty, it looks crazy.

Hypersonics fast. Yeah, I don't know how you can have a person in it's got to be. There's just some guy saying that. that's pretty cool yeah i don't know we'll have to you know we'll have to see what happens with uh china and china africa i feel like if we did ever go to like you know real to blows with each other it's gonna be the craziest thing of everybody

unveil unveiling their secret shit because we just show off b2 bombers now like it's not our like so you know it's old shit now i think that's what i'm waiting for aliens because they're like we got so much cool shit and take out of the aliens dude i also i honestly think if we wait 30 more years China's population is going to be old as fuck.

They don't have a lot of kids. It's already old right now. It's already fucking old. So I think America's just going, yeah, guys, do your thing, do all the work for us.

Once you guys are old as hell, we're going to swoop in and fuck you guys up. Do you think China might be doing a thing where they're like, all right, we're going to crunch time too. We got to fuck in.

We're about to be old as shit. We got to make a move. Those Afro-Chinese are going to be crazy, though. Afro-Chinese? It's going to be a lot of Rudy Hachimorahmores. Yeah. Damn.

Ladies and the Blasians, that would be tough. Blades are down there just creating blasians. That's going to be tough to yours. Shit. Thick blasians? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Crap. You think blasions are better than just regular, like, black-white-mix people? Like, we're talking strictly ladies right now. Do a mixed conversation. Do a mixed conversation. Hot. Like hotness. Blasian lady, black-white lady.

Black-white lady is more common over here. Sure. So here's a combination Every really thought of Chinese Mexican Yeah but there's a lot of Crossover There's a lot of crossover

There's a lot of crossover I swear to go Yeah that's that's one that you like You know Yeah If you mix fucking yellow with Rice Oh sorry that's a bad coffee

You know what I'm saying though You mix like yellow and orange You're not gonna go What the fuck is this You're gonna go yeah It looks just like those It looks like yellow and orange. I didn't mean to pick that color.

I was trying to think of like green with blue. He's talking about race. You know what I'm saying? Red beans. I'm talking RGB. I'm trying to talk RGB primary. Okay. So now we're going to take a short break and get into something that all you sports fans will love.

The more or less segment is brought to you by prize picks. You and I make decisions every day like right now. We're all thinking about making sure we choose the right gifts. But on prize picks, being right can get. you paid. There's so much sports action during the holidays and on prize picks, whether you're a football fan, a basketball fan, or a fan of both like me, it always feels good to be right. Now let's get into this. Who's looking good and who is looking horrible for the holidays? Hmm. Let me think. Who's playing this week? Let me access my database of games going on right now.

I know the birds are playing. The birds for sure. Birds are playing and I, I know it hasn't been looking good, but I'm going more on Hertz. Yeah. I'm going more on Hertz for passing yards, just because I believe it, this is a bounce back. This is two bounce back to back. I think so, too bad. We're bouncing back hard. I'm going more. I'm going more on Hertz as well.

I'm going more on Maxie right now, because I think the, they still haven't caught it with how good he is. Tyrese Maxie. On the Sixers. On the Sixers. Going more with him constantly. And right now, Yokic just, he's just nuts. Rebound specifically, go

more on rebounds for yel going more on barclay as well going more on barcly on barcly yeah he really he really get a lot of uh his more might be kind of low right now too that's i'm saying you get a lot of yards yeah last game i watch so going more on your own team can be you know a little heartbreaking because if they lose you get double mad i can't go less with my own team i don't want to root for them to go less but sometimes i just know i also just like to pick it random it's good stuff you know sometimes you just pick it random let the universe decide you know i don't know anything about this Sometimes I go, you know what? I think that guy's going to win.

I like his look. You know, exactly. I like that guy's name. I think he's good. Any personal story, anytime you're way too confident making a pick that fell apart. Nope, I've won every single time.

Undefeated. Yeah. Okay, so that's our take. Now it's time to lock in yours. There's no better place than prize picks. America's number one sports picks app. And even if your team is looking more cooked than an overdone turkey with prize pick,

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after you play your first $5 lineup. Price Picks, it's good to be right. Dude, I've been a type of video that's been taken over my algorithm now. that's just, do you see the videos where a person in like a black bandana over their face just records like an elderly person until the elderly

person freaks out and like comes at them and they spray them with pepper spray? It's the most weird, it's the craziest genre. Who sprays the pepper spray? The cameraman. What? So it'll be like three guys with like their face is entirely covered just like this

in like a 70 year old's face. The guy's like, why are you recording me? And they just go, get, get away from me. And as soon as they reach to block the camera, the guy goes, Blast in with pepper spray And they go Ahah

And there's a lot of people In comments being like That's what the fuck you get When you try to touch people's shit That's fucking charin ass bitch And I'm like Gotta be a bot Are you sure this is AI

Maybe I don't know It's Russian disinformation I think You think they're fake Yeah I think it's dividing us I don't know dude I could see there's I've seen a lot of rage bait

And I'm like that does seem like a way Because I watch a lot My whole algorithm for the most part Is rage bait Is people going into like Loz and Home Depot And like bumping into it whole guy's shopping cart and just going, get out of the way, you fucking asshole.

And this dude snap. So if you put a camera in that same guy's face, he'd probably snap as well. Yeah, you probably. I hope it's fake. If it's fake, that would be a relief because I'm watching it like... Yeah, this is evil. This is like really mean. This guy's like pre-dementia.

I get crazy. Do you ever see the rage bait guy who goes up to people's dogs and goes, man, look at that dog. I just want to suck on it's nuts. And he starts... He goes, man, look at the dog's nuts. I just want to suck on his nuts. He screams at the people with their dog in the park.

It upsets me. We're going to have to have a public health talk about rage bait. Because someone's going to have to tell a geysers. Like if some young kid comes up to you and Kmartin says gay shit to you, like you're probably on a viral. You're definitely being recorded. Yeah, you're being recorded. These guys just go fucking nuts.

I saw, I would never fucking kiss you. I saw one that just hit my algorithm. It was, it's like the funniest thing. this dude takes two pictures of people like staring near each other but like they can't be looking at each other and then he'll use

AI to make one of them do something weird to the other one like yes the one was he went on he put his hands on his guy's shoulder and like kissed him on his neck and he's like look he kissed you on your neck and the other dude's like I'm looking at the video he's like I never kissed him dude that

they're like I didn't do that it kills him man and then there's they do another one with they'll go up to an old man and go oh you're the guy from the internet they go right And they're like, check it out. And they show a video of that man, but he has like a bra on. He's dancing. He's like, that is not me.

Get away from me now. They'll do like full sprints toward them in the store. That's fucked up. We'll be doing the geysers right now. I know. Or lighthearted than that's kind of funny. But it probably does. Because they get so, once they're getting old, they start getting worried about their mental health.

Yeah. So they're probably like, did I kiss him on his? fucking neck and my I don't know now that I'm an old man yeah I'm like that but if I do 40 more years you know I'm already like

I can feel decline yeah physically obviously I'm getting stronger than ever but mentally mentally you're just rapid decline if you get me in 40 years in a parking lot just filming my face I'm going to cry

I'll scream cry and it's like kick a shopping cart over I don't fucking away from me I mean they could when they were born they couldn't even imagine you take a picture and nap quick you turn it into them kissing a man No, it's real.

You see and you go, that's real. Am I dreaming? Am I having a fucking stroke? What's going on? We should let them shoot those guys. You think so? Yeah. I kind of like that.

Yeah. I saw one guy get shot. Never seen him online again. He's not dead. He just got shot. He was in the mall. He was rage baiting some guy in the mall. And the guy was like, hey, he was like pushing him.

And the guy was like, oh, yeah. Kind of nonchalantly, too. He was like, we're in a hoodie. Yeah. They just walked away. Just. Yeah. if that guy got in trouble.

The dude was like fucking what it. No, he didn't get in trouble. Yeah. He got off sky free. I think the other guy got in trouble. The guy who got shot got in trouble. The rage baiter? Yeah.

I'm telling you they're going to introduce legislation. If you get caught rage baiting, it should be like a misdemeanor. Yeah. It's really fucked up to go to people and like push the buttons like that. Although you would hope that when you're old enough, you're able to recognize rage bait and just go complete monk mode and go like, some of the old men do counter gay stuff in a very funny way. Yeah. I'll kiss you right now.

And the guys are like, whoa. what the fuck? Or they just see a genuinely gay guy out there and he's like, yeah, I'm down. Let's fucking kiss. But yeah, that's been a counter. Huh? That's my counter. Whenever someone's like, you're going to meet a 15 year old.

I go, so what? You want to what? So what if I am? What's it to you? Punk. Oh, man. That's none of your business. This guy was here to meet a little girl.

So what? You know, it would be a really good video. put out a help wanted flyer meet people in Starbucks about a job paying like $25 an hour benefits

and once they show up have cameras come out and be like so you're trying to meet up with a teenager in the middle of a Starbucks and just started hitting him with reading

like just make up text and like my hard fat penis you're saying this what the fuck because you'd have to run if that happened

you would just run out of Starbucks and they're going to fucking pedophile you're like that's like that. If you weren't in trouble, why'd you run? That would be devastating. Yeah.

They shouldn't actually, someone should never do that. That's a terrible. That's a terrible prank. Dude, I miss the old guys who would give kids money to like, what's right? Oh,

go ahead. Now you gotta say it. Like take pictures of them in their underwear and shit. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a good industry for kids. It was it.

Yeah. It's like, at least they're getting paid. I hear you. At least they're getting paid. pig. What? For some underwear shots?

Come on, dude, take two. I mean, that's so... The problem with that is... The problem with that is, you never hear the tales at the time the guy just was like, I can't handle it and pigged out and just completely devoured the kid. Yeah, that is true. Because, like, you know... There has to be some kid who's, like, completely real.

Unless there were just gentlemen pedophiles back then. We were like, well, let me not push the envelope. I'll get some pictures. I think there was, because, like, you know, like, there'd be a house and your parents were, like, don't go to that house. I remember, yeah. It was like a funny guy. Yeah.

The guy's up to funny, it was a funny business. We've talked about this before. About before, pedophiles are just like funny business. Yeah. It's just like that guy's a weirdo. Yeah. Yeah. I've said this before.

My dad always makes the same joke. When he went to jail, he goes, we lost the best babysitter that. Every single time. Yeah, my grade school, we had a couple brushes with the big pee as well. Yeah. Pretty crazy. None of the priests, to my knowledge, is all just like chaperos. You know, school volunteers, you should just let people volunteer for, like, grade school shit and then just hire private investigators to follow them.

There's like 20% of school volunteers are pedophiles. But they should pick a random parent from every school, like one parent from every family and just spend like three days tracking them out. Seen what they're up to. Yeah. They'd see me taking my walks and go, oh, damn, this guy's not thinking about fucking anything. his feet are sweating in his crocks he's like I can't get my family from here at this time take him to here for this thing

this guy's just thinking hard about taking a nap and regretting the fact that he drank too much coffee to take a nap and then staring at something and getting distracted my seventh grade teacher got in trouble for child porn child porn seven grade teacher yeah I saw it on the news damn you know what's worse about that too

when when a teacher gets caught for like pedified stuff. Then you get to go, okay, what grade did you ask to teach? And you know exactly what his thing is. Yeah, you know the age. You fucking pervert, man. That's crazy. Yeah, you're doing

all these diversity and equity programs. You're like, we got to diversify this population. This is... I'm barely getting hard. I need some dulcitos. Did you all ever have like the old dude picking up the young, the young lady from school all the time? Like high school you're talking? I just, for me it was middle school.

I remember this. Middle school? I remember like this, maybe the shit got left back a year. She's Puerto Rican? Dominican. But like, yeah, her dude used to come and he had to be like 25 or older. What? And he used to like pick her up from school and walk home together.

And I, sure wasn't her older brother? No, I was definitely. She would tell everybody. I was my boyfriend. Oh. Like she would say it. He snapped on me and my boy Khalil once because we were sitting at the corner of store and they were walking past and we were like trying to just make fun of her. Not even about.

Hey, yo, you're a pedophile. You know, you're just like your boyfriend so old, man. She was like, yo, I don't even know if we were just making fun of her like as a person. And he just was walking with her and snapped on us. Like, it just didn't even hit us that he would do it. But then my boy's mom, we told, right after that we told his mom and they bumped into each other at the mall and she went nuts on him. He said, you know, she told me saw his mom.

My boy said him and his mom saw her at him at the mall. With his like grade school. I don't know if he saw her with the girl, but they just was like, she just was like, mom, that's a guy I told you about who did the thing. And she just,

she's like, she was from Philly black lady that lived in red and she went nuts on them. Really? From what I heard. He had them pretty nervous. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, well, that's what happens when you, I mean, he probably thought shit was sweet. Yeah. And he kept picking her up from school. Picking her. Yeah, that's crazy. Like he's not like,

he didn't even. drive. Like, he would just walk to the middle school and walk. But he was like 20 something. If you know, when you're younger, maybe he was younger than that. He was definitely out of like school age. But the youngest he was was 19. And I'm remembering him looking way older than that. That's crazy. 45. Like, I'm remembering him looking 30. But Dominicans are kind sorry the Dominican is, but like the most pedophiles should I've heard in person is Dominicans. I remember being in high school and I was like

in fucking, it was like 16. This is so funny in preface I'd be like, sorry Dominicans, but you guys are gigantic pedophiles. I mean, dude, yeah, I mean, it kind of checks out, bro. If you were like a 40-year-old Dominican hat, man, you put on one of those bowler hats, I could see it, you just started going,

my caramba. My karma. You have like four mojitos. You just see the grades pull it out and you go, oh, deos, man. The music doesn't help either. If you're all day long, pop,

pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. I would get a horn in a car if I was listening to that all day. That music changes you psychologically. Imagine listen to that all day long. If you ever worked on a construction site, you watch you all day long, it's just like,

and you just has to, like, change your brain. Like, what even mindset does that put you in? Yeah, right? If you're working all day long and it's like, It's just, it's insane. It's like circus music. It's like move fast music. Yeah, just move fast.

But it is, it is nice. What I do like about specifically Mexican guys is how the little just go, they just love to scream. The Grito. The Grito. They had the Grito. Kind of nice. The grito is nice.

Yeah. We introduced the Grito into our lives this year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that shit's just a nice power scream. Yeah. Just like 150 beats per minute trumpet music. And it's funny

Because you have just done like three days worth of work By lunchtime So yeah Maybe that music is what we need As a country Just that classic beat That's nonstop all day long One song for eight hours

I'm telling you I think it puts you in a whole different mindset That's what a pedophile mindset No that's the you're talking to many I'm talking about hard work of Mexico Oh yeah I'm still in hard work of Mexicans I gotta tell you know much about

I got to tell you what this one Mexican Or not Mexican Dominican Bull said when we were like in 11th grade because there was a middle school nearest and so we was you know they were walking out or getting out or getting out or whatever and he was like pointing out one of the girls and I was like man she's too young and he went man after 12 it's lunch and I was like crazy yeah how old is this guy uh we were in 10th or 11th of grades of 17 yeah a lot of uh I don't think a lot of those countries really do have aged

consent I think they kind of eyeed up yeah like we have like laws and metrics. I think they kind of, you can just go, boobs, no boobs. You kind of buy it up. You go,

I'm going to put this one on the eyeball and you see. I couldn't imagine being in Brazil and eyeballing it up. They don't have laws like that there. Yeah, no, dude, I remember, so I actually went to the Dominican Republic years ago

on like a little vacation. And I, like, we went to an all inclusive resort. And I remember, this was like a long time ago. I was younger. But I remember they like made the staff like dance for us.

Yeah. Like you get there and they like come out. It's like a, you know, welcome night thing. And I remember being like, some of the staffs like, they weren't like children,

but I remember they were like young enough to where I was, I was in like my mid-20s is thinking like, it's kind of weird. They're dancing very sexually. Yeah, yeah. Just like standing in front of us and just like, gyrating their bodies. And we just all get to sit there and be like,

great. I remember just feeling a little weird about it being. This kind of feels. Brazil is like one of the horniest places. This was Dominican Republic. Oh, but Brazil number two. Yeah.

Brazil's such a horn. It's the horniest country. Yeah. If you go there, you'll become horny as hell too. It's like there's nothing to anyone can do about it. It's in the air. Yeah. I mean, I get it though.

Those ladies look so nice. This episode is brought to you by ORA frames. Look, I get it. Gift cards are easy and you don't have to worry about getting something they don't like. But this holiday season, why not try something different? Get something more personal than the same old generic gift card. It means more than you think. Have you ever gifted something small but personal?

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This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Yeah, Brazil is a landful of beautiful women. That's all I'll say about that. They all do plastic surgery. Hmm?

They all do plastic surgery out there. Although they have like one guy in Brazil. Who's just getting all the money? No, they're just the guys looking. The women are just like, it's like a, in a race. Just like every type of woman you can imagine. There's just one guy.

Cristiano Ronaldo face. Kind of. It's either that or black as hell. He's got two guys, two guys. Yeah, they have like dusty parking lot soccer guys. Yeah. They have the most handsome fucking male models. Well, hell, that's hilarious.

What's up? I found some interesting information. The Dominican Republic has an age of consent of 18, but Mexico's federal age of consent is 15 years old. Federal? Oh, yeah. And the Fed stamped that. Japan is 13. No, they changed that.

Are you sure? Yes. Jesus, Le Mare. They did change it. I'm glad you keep it up on it, though. What the hell, dude? Do you have to reschedule your trip? You get an anime guy pass on that.

Yeah. I'm fighting for these rights of these kids, dudes. you're watchdogging I'm watchdoging I'm watchdog like dude what did they change it too if you're already at 13 16 did they go to 18 or 16

because that's kind of probably 18 you just go 14 16 they want to 16 14 14 would be so funny you go up one year 13 and a half hold on hold on

Japan was how long was Japan 13 for I'm basically forever they used to have on Google you'd ask what's the age of consent in Japan and then Dennis's face from always suddenly coming like side how you yeah they changed it two years ago

that's crazy from 13 yeah from 13 to 16 I mean that was like a multi-generation in plan they're like look we'll go 13 now that way when they put the fucking put the wrenches on us like all right all right

we'll go up that's crazy that's fucked up so it's like a so literally a college or a high school teacher could just have sex with the high school student. If it was good enough.

That makes sense now, no, that that's a thing. Because you know, I'll be playing the Japanese RPGs in Prizoda and they always have like this game I play. There's always like a way

you can fuck your teacher in it but you play like a, you know, it's like a fantasy game. I don't know. Well, it is really weird because like,

I mean, being a pedophile is up there with someone like one of the worst as one of the worst crimes in the world. Yeah. And if you go to another country, you go from being the worst guy

in the world to just like totally law abiding citizen. It's just a normal dude. You know what I mean? It's the weirdest. It's probably the weirdest law. It could be a pedophile publicly and then go get a coffee like on the same block. Yeah.

It's very. It's such a bizarre thing. You can kiss your kid. Because like murder is murder. Like you murder somebody. Across the board, everyone's like, yeah, that wasn't really called for. But yeah, in America, you can be next to be. I mean, I think you're more respected as a murderer than a pedophile, depending on who you murder.

Even in, like, in jail, you'll get. way better treatment as a murderer. Yeah. Even in society. I like... He'll get murdered as a pedophile in jail. You'll get murdered and raped. Yeah.

I just been having dreams where I just like wake up and I'm like, did I kill somebody? I don't know why. Why is you're driving drunk on the time? No, no, no, no. You've actually killed people. No. I just keep waking up in a panic.

Like, I think I just had a dream about hiding a body. Really? Yeah. I don't know why. You have the itch? I don't have the it. You feel murderous? No.

No, not today. Like what's the feeling you have? I don't know. It's just like the scariest feeling in the world because I'm like, I'm going to get caught. I keep thinking when I wake up. You definitely get caught. Like I'm going to get caught.

I'm going to get caught. I feel bad. I murdered a person. It's like they're going to be all my ass. Yeah, it's like I'm going to jail. Do you know who's murdered in the? No. No.

It's like different people. Has it ever been me? No. You promise? Yeah. Okay. Just creaking the cave comedians? you want to fucking bump me

you piece of shit I'd be sick to do one of those like comedian movies at the end someone gets bumped and they just shoot them in the green

put her up put her there here Dave Chappelle comes in and bumps you like that's my final straw

this is my laugh that's it he's going to go up there for three hours yes a rebob. So everyone, we can all establish,

we all got diarrhea. We've discussed the age of consent. Globally. And yeah, is Japan the lowest? I mean, I think if you hit Chinese-controlled Africa,

there's probably like, oh yeah. Yeah. I look it up, but I don't feel good about it. Dude, they just like, you're out.

You're definitely by to get yourself on the list. Some guy just stole like a bunch of girls from a building in Africa. Really? Yeah,

they're always still in girls in Africa. Yeah, girls do get scoved up. Yeah. It's one of the last countries You get an honest man can go steal some Just steal some ladies Isn't Michelle Obama freak out about those girls

Yeah, they never brought them back No, I don't, I don't, and then I think Didn't like a bunch of boys at that school Get like brutally murdered and nobody even said anything about it? Oh shit, did they? I'm almost positive that happened This is like one school? Bring back our girls. Yeah, because it's like if it was a

Like a you know, upper class school that like parents were kind of rich So people would be like, perfect. Let's go kidnap an entire class you paid. And I think they like took the girls as ransom and just like killed, murdered all the boys.

That's crazy. Yeah. Africa is looking tough. Africa. Nigeria is 11 years old. 11? I mean, why haven't it all?

Yeah. Are you serious? That's what Google says. Nigeria's 11. That's devastating to find out. Nigeria, that's crazy. Oh, me. That country stinks anyway.

And also, yeah, I mean, 11's crazy. Nigerians. Like, it's not even it's not even lunchtime. I mean, it's funny to be in Nigeria dating a 10 year old. They're like,

you fucking scumbag. You're fucking a piece of shit. Wait, you started talking to her when she was 10, you piece of shit. That's, it's just upsetting. Nigeria is a bad country.

Is it? I always thought it was like one of the better. Yeah. They lie about how much money they make a couple years ago. they got in trouble for like bouncing checks as a country well apparently Nigeria

puts out a ton of math fleets though a lot of mathematicians come out of Nigeria some reason Nigerians crush math so yeah because they're figuring out the age what's the square root of 18 in front of heaven

yeah uh huh no no what you say I was going to change the sub I just found out another fun factor. Yeah. Do you know the MMA fighter, Khabibnurma Gmadov? Yeah.

He is married to his second cousin, and they had the same surname before they got married. Really? Yeah. So she's Nergumadna. Nergumadav. No, she just, I think she just kept the name.

Yeah. Second cousin. That's been on my mind later. No, I mean, second cousin, it's not ideal for sure. I don't think they have many options in Dagestan, though. Yeah. You go third. third cousin

that's not even a thing third cousin's just like your friend oh shit no I mean third cousins I dude I think like though when you marry your cousin it's like uh chances of birth defects

go up like 3% it's not like a massive I thought it was just like automatic you're getting yeah you know don't they do that in like a Lego guy

that's still that's still a weird when to show up to the family meet like the family reunion with like we love each other I mean, it is for sure But some, I mean, in history It was like the coolest shit you could do

It's like you marry your cousin Ever and it was like great choice Dude, if you have a hot cousin No, well, I was kind of fortunate To not really have hot cousins Would you say? I was kind of fortunate to not have hot cousins I don't have one cousin memory

You didn't covet any of them I didn't even like in my head go like hot cousin I was never a big cousin guy either Thank God I was never No I imagine if that was your twist though And you were just completely obsessed With having sex with your cousin

because there's guys out there, I'm sure. Yeah, that happens to. 100%. What do you think about that? Huh? What do you think about that? Your age can send Japan speed take. Might have been, might have been with the Delia Snapchat.

Wait, what? That was a tough one. one. Dude, RIP to everyone who's gotten absolutely munched by the internet.

It just happens to everybody gets destroyed and I know it's coming for me one day. I'm worried about it. Destroyed by the internet what would he be?

I don't know. I just like everyone just gets destroyed. I don't think anyone ever sees it coming. They're always going nothing's ever been better than the internet goes.

Yeah, turns out everyone fucking hates you. Fuck. Shit. I mean, it's literally like a soldier's death. I'm like, it's coming for me one way or the other.

I don't know how. Yeah. In the words of Harvey Dent, either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. That's why you don't stop drinking. I'm going to at least see myself become a villain. Yeah, just the mask. They're getting any more spots to me.

I mean, you never, somebody you didn't predict in high school to have to ever contend with like a digitized public shaming. Yeah. So I don't. know, maybe hopefully now that I'm a man, I'll just go, what the hell are they saying on the internet? Bull crap. Turn it off.

Shut off. Unplug it. God damn it, I'm going for my walk. I think whatever, whatever happens to me, I'm just going to lead into it. If it happens, it's like, yeah, I don't know. You have to. Like, there's no, the guys that fight, it's literally a Chinese finger trap. Yeah.

Guys that go, no, you guys suck. It's like you've just sealed your doom. You have to go, I am a lowly disgusting. worm yeah i have watched every single common walk video so what i do know them all by name it's accepting your shame takes the fun out of it for the internet yeah it well depends what you did dude glen greenwald got crushed you see his video no he did you see that thing it was uh and again i guess i'm gonna toss the uh stanthea legend on here but i think i think it was just like kink shit we're like he's gay and he had like his

I guess a lover of his released a video where he was just being like a little piggy like a hungry little piggy it was like a humiliation video but I think he was just like whatever oh he was being the humiliated one he was being humiliated but it was out of kink for like you know he was kind of and again I don't know the exact details

yeah I'm not if you could just maybe pull off after you're done that came out and also RFK did you see his sexed? No. He gets an R of K sex team? No. You see it? No, his, uh, sexts. He like did like text messages.

Man, that's text messages. Anybody. His shit blew over. But dude, his text are like, they're so horny that by like halfway through the text, you're like, I'm on his side. So you're like, you can't. This is to Cheryl? Is this to Cheryl? Unfortunately, he's a bit of a bad boy. But I'm not sure. Maybe he was to Cheryl. I don't know. But I don't, that's not how they framed it. Okay. You know what? Look, man. No. You guys trying to get blue food die out of the goddamn lucky charms, man.

Leave me alone. Yeah, I'm not, I'm going to send horny texts to whoever's done of my fucking business. The only kink thing that I don't shame it, but I don't get it is, I mean, I guess is like people watching their ladies get plowed. I think that the cut shit is, but there's a thing I learned about very recently. I was just telling a little bit about it. There's the revert. There's like, Kuck in. I forget what the, Kuk queen.

Kuk queen. I had to speed with you on that. Kuck queen might be the best thing that's having her. I think cuck queens propaganda like show me one cuck queen where are they? That's not an actual port lady. Yeah where are these these fabled cuck queens? I know.

Just being like yeah, do it again. I've been hanging out with a lady and we decided we're going to have a free use day. A free use day? Yeah. That's pretty nice. That's pretty cool, right? What's your thing going to be? Also, how long are you going to last in a free use day? I feel like that's you bust one out in the morning. You're like

well, yeah. checked out I can go I thought That is a private matter Sorry guys Hey man I'm glad for you That sounds good

Sounds fun though yeah Sure to be a hoot Free free not I like it I was interesting To free use day What's your plan? Yeah that's a good question Is to just show up

Do it To hang out But here's the thing Do you get to direct Do you get direct Her positioning Because where is she going to be That's the question

Is she going to be Is she going to be just Stuck will be nice. Stuck, frozen? Is there going to be a sex doll on the bed and you move it and then it's her? Like, how is this going to go down? No, that's the thing, dude. It's like it's just whatever, you just have a day.

And then whatever's happening during the day, you're like. Is it reciprocal? That's my question. Can she freely use you? Oh, we get your own day. Really? Yeah. What if she takes into like a realm of kink, you're not ready for it?

No. You're going to get stuff in the dry. I set my rules. You can't violate the free. Oh, you're also free use. Yeah, except my rules. You know, free use of a dude would be so, I'd be so nervous. Yeah.

Especially after your day of free use. That was also my turn and be like, I don't know. You should talk about this. What are the rules? You can't be inserted? No butt. No butt. No butt.

What if she tries and you're just not in the mood? Slap her. But it's not free use. No, but. whatsoever. No, but. Can't even tickle you. No. No, but. Sean, did you find any of that stuff about the sext?

Yeah, it was a poem allegedly sent to Olivia Nuzi. Noosie. Bro, it's the best. It's very erotic. Yeah, let me see if I can get back to it. Okay, I'll read it. Can you read it with prose?

I'll try. Wait, do you say it's really... I like started hearing it and I was like, by the middle of it. I was like, you know what, I kind of tip my hat to this guy. I got it here. Your open mouth awaiting my harvest. Drink from me, love. I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth.

I'll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. Don't spill a drop. I am a river. You are my canyon. I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you, my love. My love. I'm about to copy of paste ass, saying that's my girl.

Did RFK write the letter for the guy, the Kirk guy? What guy? Do my love? I'm not sure. I don't know what you mean. I don't know what you mean. It's okay. Oh, that's what it is.

Glenn Greenwald got set up. He said it was a political takedown where he was with, this is all from Google, reportedly depict Greenwald and Indyman Axe with another adult male in Brazil, which we're just talking about, whom he reportedly, this is what they're saying, paid for the encounter. and it's pretty much it's just him being like kind of like thoroughly domed and humiliated by guy

but they like they like released his tape without his consent they're like you know it's pretty rude and then they're like what do you say about that and he was like

I don't regret any of that but that was kind of a beast it's a beast move to go to get completely be a shame lord to be like yeah dude I'm a total pig and I did some fucking really

it's it's you watch it you're like yeah damn but he just came out he just political enemies trying to take him down with it and he was like I don't care that makes me respect him

kind of a beast It's kind of a beast. He's like, yo, look at this weird shit. He's like, yeah, it was fucking really weird. I did that. And your little plan didn't work on me. I do it again. I'm going to do it again.

It wasn't just some politician that got, like, exposed like that for doing, like, public shit with his lady, not the lady who was giving hand jobs in the movie theater, not her. This was like a different. This is like a whole video that got exposed. Yeah. I forget who was telling me about it, but. I remember just hearing that.

Was there any scandal attached to it? Or was it like? Uh, I think, I think same shit, like take down type shit. Yeah. I can't. remember his name or anything. So funny, dude. All you have to, all you need is a video of a politician having sex and you destroy their

entire career. The same, the thing we all. Yeah, they're clearly having sex. Yeah. Like weird psycho sex. Yeah, you want to be a politician. Like, you're going nuts in the bedroom. I bet AOC does the craziest shit.

I hope so. You think so? Oh, my God. Yeah, but who, who's pipe in the AOC? She's some white guy. Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like the founder of some weird tech company.

Yeah. Yeah, true. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of, behind a lot of powerful women. There are surprisingly just kind of a drab white guy. You kind of slide into that role really nicely. Isn't Kamala? Doug. Yeah.

Doug. Doug. Who's Doug? It's Kamala's husband. Yeah. That's all he, like, talks about it. I think he could call himself, like, I'm Doug Kamala's husband. Doug?

Fucking nerd. Dang, that stinks. I think I got like a political email once that when, uh. Camela. That was like, this was before she was even. run. I think she might have been running with Biden and I got like a political email that was like, this is Doug. And then

in parentheses, Kamala's husband is how it started. And that's how I know his name, like that email. The fuck does Doug do? Why would he allow himself to be framed in an email like that? Well, he's the owner of the Dim'sdale Demadone. Cuck. Hmm? Doc's in a Timsdale Dimitim. Where's that from?

Fairly odd appearance. Doug Demodome. Owner of Dem's no Dumbsdale Dum. T. Let's see. the first Jewish spouse of a U.S. vice president. Oh, is that what he did? Doug.

Dude, is that really a fucking thing he would say? He's the first Jewish second. Oh, damn. He's from Old Bridge, New Jersey. Oh, what? I mean, or it's kind of a bad look. Massad. Dude, he kind of looks like Waltz a little bit. He's in, uh...

Christoph? No, Doug. Doug looks like Waltz. It's crazy. Oh, damn. He's, I would have been nervous. I'm nervous around, having my baby around waltz. Who's waltz?

Waltz was a guy she ran with. I was like, I love shooting guys. Touchdown, Tim. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude. Damn, dude. She got a type. Doug M.

Doug Mhoff does soul cycle. At home in California, Emhoff had attended a Sunday morning soul cycle class in West Hollywood and left his cell phone in the car while going for coffee and a chat with friends in the bar. Why they frame this guy as the ultimate housewife? I mean, he kind of frames himself as the ultimate housewife. It could be king. Kamala's husband

It could just be kink, dude That whole campaign Could have been kink for them She goes out Loses he's just like I'm just your sexy little fucking boy Your little Homeboy

Kamala does drink I can see it Yeah I as soon as one person was like This lady's drunk I can never unsee I'm like oh she's a drunk lady Yeah

I honestly about her One of her more likable things Yeah She's just drunk Yeah She should have really leaned into that I'm like I'm fucking hammered I don't know

Bro Come on that I would have heard like it would I'm dumb That would have guide me I'm like she might be Yeah Yeah I got

Leaned into that little bit of George Bush action Yeah well I'm just a drunk old whore Dude It would make me believe She could get things done Well horrors get things done Maybe

All throughout history Yeah Hors get things done It's on the I want to see that tape Between her and Doug It's got to be the steamiest Dude Doug

She's in like a little rose Petal Bath she's fucking wasted she's like top dog you fucking fucking asshole you fucking ruin everything you give me fuck you how a soul cycle you fucking

fucking Kamala hey what do you drink I just had a nice lunch with friends what a weird PR angle to be like we're just going to make her husband a total pussy

they should have been like they should have made them like it was like try to make Tim Walts a badass yeah I've been so mad if I was Doug it's like wait why does Tim Waltz get to be like a hunter badass yeah and I have to be I'm just a little peg boy an at home fucking peg boy

I'm fucking cuck beyond I think he's almost beyond we're getting cucked by Tim Walts over here he's basically wife play he's going yeah Tim Walts is like I love shooting guns with my children and I was in the army yeah man

what the fuck It didn't mean not do any of that stuff. I heard there was, you never know, man. Look, Lamar on the campaign trail, things get dirty. So who knows what's what? I am really not looking forward to the election of 2028 because it's like 2020 and 2024 were so depressing that 2028 is going to be both parties are going to unleash, I think a new psycho.

I'm really a young psycho, a double young psycho battle. This is Trump's first year though. Dude, he's not going to reelect. That's what I keep. That's what we were just having this conversation. He's not getting reelected. It would make people too mad. Like, that's not what America's about.

He's just lost his juice. Once I hit him with the Epstein shit and he was like, ah, forget about that stuff. I think that he really lost a lot of his juice. But I'm saying this is his first year as president. Yeah. I know. He could technically do another one. He still got like three more.

He still got three years. He did two more. You know, you do one more after this. No. He's president for four years. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Why could he do another term if he was already present?

Because I think. I don't. I don't know, but they said, I honestly don't know, but I think they said he can do another term technically. You know, he can only do two. Because they're not consecutive. Because he did one. There was, there we had Biden. And I think for some weird reason, he can do two more now.

They're like trying to make the political, the legal argument that he can. Yeah. But it's like, dude, we got to move on. It's like, we can't. It's just going to be forever. He's going to dominate an entire. We got a 90-year-old dictator. Yeah.

He's dominated a whole decade. Yeah. And it's like, he was funny. Yeah, he was obviously funny. But now it's like, dude, please. Yeah. New guy. I'm curious the moves they're going to make.

If they're going to go back old school, like prim and proper or if the new thing is just fuck that guy. It's mom, I think it's fuck that guy, bro. Or, yeah, maybe Mom Downy. Yeah. Um, he's more,

maybe more of like a, even a Gavin Newsom gets. He's a leather jacket, Democrat. They're trying to make Gavin Newsom so fucking cool. He's a podcast. That guy needs to go. He's one of the normal guys like us. He has a fucking podcast.

Gavin Newson needs to go lay the fuck down. Like, he needs to shut up. The problem is, I'll say he is the perfect politician. He's just like a weird smiling psycho. Yeah. I'm saying just like, I don't, you know, I'm not a fan of him.

But it's also like, you got to give it up. I'm like, man, no, this guy was born for the role. Yeah. Of California governor. Yeah. He fucking tanked the country. And now he wants to tank the country. Yeah, we'll say, man.

I don't know. I think maybe they'll run Vance. Vance could, they could run Vance again. It feels like he's been making a play because he's been out doing his own shit recently. Trump's. What's he doing? he's been campaigning he's been porking

no what is he I don't want I feel bad for even bringing it up just his relationship with the with the widow of Mr. Charlie Kirk is suspicious that is a nasty thing you would say

hey I'm sorry forgive me well sorry yeah final words I think we're going to slide into the Patreon By the way, I got you guys a little gift. I'm excited.

It's the final, final installment of the conquistadors. And I'm going to display a little gift. I'm excited. I'm excited too. I'm excited to hear how it all, right? I mean, I kind of know, but, you know, how it gets there. Surprisingly, it was way, there's way more, is way more in detail. So, yeah, we're about to slide into that right now.

And thank everybody. Thank you for listening. And I hope to stay, keep your spirits high during this holiday season. A lot of people think about killing themselves. Enjoy your diary. whatever reason. People on Christmas want to kill themselves, but I don't know. I get it. I do get it, but also the same time, it's like, I like, we just lit up our Christmas tree. Yeah. Makes me so happy. I see the lights. I go, it's the best. But then sometimes at nighttime, it's just you downstairs. It's dark. You look at the lights and you go, maybe I should kill myself actually.

Don't kill yourself. Don't do it. Don't kill yourself. It's bad. Hang. I'm getting an elf on the shelf. That's going to be a big thing this year. Dude. Don't get sad on. Do you get sad on the holidays? Well, you're about to do free use You don't care You're having a good holiday You're about to be off on the shelf Yeah, don't get sad on the holidays A little knees on his knees

That's going to be you What's going to be your free use position Where are you going to do I don't know Stuff? I haven't even I got to start taking notes You have for real be stuck though Go statue

You should do like You know like that little boy in the lawn We're like a peeing Cupid Yeah. Just see how much you can pee and sit like a statue and just pee the whole time. Well, see you later.

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