Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 589 Broke Mind Virus

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ hello0o0o0o0. Hope you've all had a good week. The D.A.W.G.Z. have reunited ... on Shang's bday no less. yayyyy. Hot cast ensued. What did you expect. TGIF. Please enjoy. God Bless. $35 off Carver Mat https://on.auraframes.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Visit dosedaily.co/MSSP and use code MSSP to get 41% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, Wow, Wes. All right. Hello. Hey. Hello, we're live now. Dude, how much does Nate's brother look like Dr. Ewa? I thought it was a good doctor for sure. When your brother walked in, and of course I know him, so that's how I knew him.

But when he walked in, I was like, oh, shit. I thought it was Dr. Uma. And then the good doctor. You guys were, you and your brother put out the fucking dipship brothers. You and your brother are the dipship brothers. My brother, I don't know how he usually holds it together. I did what I do, but him, that was out of character. Right before, right before I go on stage, he comes walking through the, puts his arm around

Nate's shoulder, can't walk, going through the tunnel. I go get him a chair. We sit down. I turn around, he falls out of the chair. Yeah, he never hit the chair. He's trying to put him in the chair and like leg just still up on the chair. That was like a medical passout though. Yeah.

It was. Yeah. Nate cried. I didn't cry, but I didn't know. I go, holy shit, is he right? Nick goes, I don't know. It wasn't that bad, but I did hit it. I was worried about him.

He went down. I don't even know. Help. I saw him. I never see. I didn't say help. Somebody called ambulance. I was thinking about it.

I was like, I can't go on stage. Nate's brother just died. Yeah. The good doctor. Nah, Shane AI stepped over him. I did step. I did step over him. He's all right.

He popped. I don't know if you heard it when he popped up. He popped up. I was like, I wasn't on the ground. That was the first thing he said. I didn't pass out. As fellow big guys, we were both celebrating the fact that his belly did not fall out. Yeah, yeah, that was good.

That was good. Because that could have been devastating. He's laying on your side that big. It's like, it's kind of slight curvature. It's a rough look. Yeah, he laid it all his back. He got lucky. Yeah, there's two hits.

You hit the floor and your belly hitting the floor? Yeah. I can't even remember. It was just. Leg in the air. Yeah, you were pure panic. Yeah. It sucks.

I mean Once he was good I was still made Passing out Suss dude Passing out is suss That's what Jim Jones Say

Yeah I was watching Jim Jones's podcast Dude the old black guys Are flying into the podcast Game They figured out the code All you gotta do Is call each other gay

The whole time And they're making millions We just doing it for a deck Welcome brothers They're just coming in talking They're like wait You pass out It's kind of fucking gay

You pass it And like anyone I never pass out. Fuck, pass it out. That shit's gay as hell. Fuck, that is actually my whole act. My whole act, dude. Now, old black dudes, they've been doing it forever.

The Paul's. They're the Paul's fathers. Pauls and each other is the best. Jada Kisses and Fat Joe's podcast is just so Fat Joe gets paused nonstop. He does. He says a wild one. Oh, it's crazy. It's almost like he's doing it on purpose.

I really think so. He probably has a staff of writers to be like, write me the gay as shit you can possibly think of. But no, Nate's brother, back and then Nate picked up the torch. Bro. He said, how can I make a bigger fool of my family? He was rolling around on the couch.

When you say roll, like I couldn't have been. You literally were standing right there. You'd fall over the couch. Like a scuba diver. You would fall backwards. I didn't know you got, you were that drunk. We were on the plane together. Do you know why scuba divers, you know how they sit on the boat and fall backwards?

Yeah. Do you know why they do that? Look cool. No, because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat. Come on guys. Classic. Highlight reel, 2025.

Joke-world clip it. Highlight reel, 2025, just run that back 25 times. That's what we'll do for the New Year's episode. Just that joke. Over and over for three hours.

You can fall asleep to it. But you're going to laugh every time. You're going to try to sleep. You go, now Phil hit me with that Phil hit me in Gerbys with that It was great We were watching a shit

He was watching some fucking bullshit travel show He was watching like a show about cruise ships And they were show I was like dude you want to go on a cruise so bad Dude you about the guy who just died on a cruise No Some dude had on record 33 drinks Because I guess they went in telling

Yeah dude and they You know back to the black podcast it's kind of gay it's kind of gay dude well dude they shot him with an anti-psychotic so he was he had fully rodeo-bolled himself

he just got 33 drinks in he's getting his fucking money's worth honestly there's nothing wrong with that and then they try to like subdue him and apparently they gave him an injection oh that'll kill you yeah I think the two things combined

which is like first of all if you're gonna subdue anyone on a cruise ship it's probably going to be from alcohol why would you have a thing that does that secondly like why don't they have a narcan version of alcohol that as soon as you give someone, they're just like, what? God, that'd be bad.

I'd carry it around. I'd just be like, all right, well, that's Coke, but just so you know that is Coke. People go, I'm a little too drunk. I'm back. Hey, what do you guys want to talk about? But no one would take it. If you're drunk, you're like, yeah, you got to take your anti-alcohol. You'd be like, shut out. Yeah, I'm fine. This feels good.

He could have used it on days. Yeah, dude, you were rolling all over the couch. We could have, we should have Narcan Nate, dude. Alperal and Eric and you got on the plane going, I'm sober. I had to take care of my brother this whole time. I was kind of. You were not. I really felt sober.

We talked about me and Matthew talked about it. Yeah, we did the math. Not sober. You were drinking. When we got into the green room, you poured a glass. True. Of liquor. True.

But they're like three hours back. And then you did those poppers. You did a couple poppers in the bathroom. And you took the poppers. You were your brothers. You were your brothers snorted poppers. We took paupers and juicy with you. brother.

Don't put dating on it. Yeah, you were like rail lines and tucy before the show. And then you had GHB-laced baby oil. You got to start

traveling with like just a milk cart and a baby oil. Obviously. What the hell? God damn. Where the hell's that? We're never going to get this

podcast on. We're never going to get this thing done. It was the busiest day. That was a hard. That was an authoritative knock, too. Let's see what that is. Sounds good so far. It's fucking

I don't know what the hell Maybe did you guys order something No it's probably birthday bullshit Do you think so? It's like a hat and like a It says frugelais Must be Italian Oh

Come on man Put it 2025 Clip that up 2025 clip that up 2025 joke roll clips Clip it up Damn dude Stop sending me boxes

I know Just crap More boxes Just fucking crap All right so Nate You and your brother And you kissed he faint that's how

that's how Nate woke him up he was a little fucking Prince Charming he was a little yeah kissing on his lips and he came back to life kiss him on his forehead told him I'm big bro damn you did handle it I didn't like the way you were handling

you were saying nasty things your brother he just died once I knew he was okay that's how I had to start he was sitting there coming back to the fucking life and you were standing over him being like you fucking piece of shit

hey you dumbass fucking fan I didn't do that. Why are you making me sound like that? I remember that. I was shaking my head at him. Yeah, he was like, give me that 25% of the company back. Dude, fuck you. They went full ditty on his brother. Baseball bet. I had to take advantage of being a big bro for one hour. That was, he's, like, older than me by enough to him. You couldn't handle the success. You immediately blacked out and rolled around. You were laying on this couch. You passed out. I grabbed you by the legs and I pulled you as hard as I was just told the couch.

Lost the check immediately. Belly came out. Lost the paycheck from the show. Well, I didn't forget that. I actually think about that every day. Yeah, you got to get on that. Yeah. But no, I was shocked.

We got back and it was just like, thinking everything was cool. And then all of a sudden I looked over, you're on the couch just like a fish out of water. Just flound around on the deck. What the fuck? You're flopping around and everyone's going, Nate, what are you doing? You're going, isn't this funny?

And we're like, no, dude, it's kind of embarrassing. I mean, bro, in different entertainment circles, you would have gotten clapped. Yeah. You'd have gotten fully clapped. I knew I was in a safe space. You would have been to no clap, though. You would have been in the camera, been facing you 10 years from now. You'd be like, I don't know what happened.

I would have. Pilot. Pilot could have clapped him. Anyone could have clapped him. Anyone could have clapped him. Anyone could have clapped. Could have been a lady with a strap on could have clapped you? Well, I didn't get clapped.

So that's a good thing. I'd pay to watch that. I'd ditty that. I'd take ecstasy and watch you. You get clapped for three days. Three straight days. What were they taking, though? It was making them clap for three days.

I don't know. I take any time I take any of those drugs, I'm like, I don't want to talk to anybody. You don't want to clap, let alone clap for three days? I want to watch someone. Clap for three days. It's an ovation. Matt.

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Download the prize picks app today and use code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in lineups after. you play your first $5 lineup. Price fix. It's good to be right. What's up all. I do like how I do like how did he like slowly. You bring the mail escort over.

You let the mail escort obviously cucky or whatever. But then like how he slowly got involved is so funny. Just punishing her for liking it too much. Good Lord, dude. The most diabolical thing was if you haven't seen the doc, go watch it. Yeah, it's pretty great. Most diabolical to me, obviously maybe killing Pock, whatever. Yeah, pretty bad.

Making Biggie's family, the estate, pay for the funeral. And then dancing on the fucking VMAs. It is amazing, though, how he, like, right after that happened, he became, like, truly, I mean, he was already obviously famous, but then he became, like, a real music superstar in his own right, and it's, like, watching him dancing around on stage in all white was kind of like... You know, I was like, this guy sucks a dick at dancing. I know. People like, he was a professional dancer. I was like, he's terrible.

This is the worst dancing. He's not a professional dancer. Did you notice he stole the Rolling Stone cover from him, too? Like after he died, he was like, I need it now. He had a business to run. I get that.

You had a business to run. Things don't just stop. Yeah. Gotta keep it moving. Dude. And the clips of him and fucking Ellen. What was that? That's like daytime television for, you know.

I don't know. She was like grabbing his, she's like, what are you grabbing there? Your piece? Oh. Yeah, that was pretty well. Somebody's got to it.

Yeah, that was a... Freaks. She left the country? What? Allegedly she's in Europe or something like that. Why she leave? Because everyone said she was mean. Because she had to go.

It goes when Trump got elected the second time she left. Yeah, but that's an excuse. Everyone said she was mean. Yeah, I heard she was just nasty. She got exiled for being a meanie. Yeah. Had to go back to Europe. Got to go back, dude

Your lineage ends here True Back to the old country Start over Try again How about you change your attitude And come back Yeah

Don't be mean this time Alan I mean how mean was she I feel like so many People in the TV realm Are probably pretty fucking mean Like how mean are we talking Can we get Is there any like specific examples of like

Off memory I remember she was like Sort of like a no eye contact In the hallway sort of boss like don't look at it. That's just lesbian alpha. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what I see nothing wrong with that. I'll look it up to you if I can find anything. Yeah. No, I contact in the hallway. That's fully acceptable. Yeah. We're. Oh, sexual misconduct.

Hold on now. What kind of, uh, what's you doing? I just, I just read the headline real fast. I'm sorry. Uh, March 20, 20s during the quarantine, squit, Twitter. Just speaking. That's so crazy That's insane

What You were just on your Hands and knees In the bathroom Peking Now you're on Ellen's ass You bend over You bent over

You got to fucking Get down there to puke Oh you did hands on the hips You did akimba Macarita It went full teapide So wait so Okay so Ellen only

No eye contact Which I totally fucking Get and possibly I think we should in state here Yeah. Specifically during the podcast. I don't like looking at you guys. No eye contact.

Being a meanie. Yeah, that kind of sums it all up. Fear-based environment. Producers allegedly being rude, dismissive or discriminatory, people getting fired or taking for taking medical leave or bereavement leave. So basically just being a big means.

Depends what type of bereavement. Yeah, I guess, in my opinion. Yeah, man. Somebody's like my fucking, my nana died. Like, how old was she? It's like 105. Get in here. Yeah, you're going to work.

Get in here. You're lucky to go to the funeral. Get in here. Yeah. I remember Greg Fitzsimmons used to work for her and he was like, yeah, she was fucking nuts. Fitzdog. Yeah, allegedly.

And there's a controversy about her DJ. Did you ever see that guy? Yes. My mommy used to love Ellen, so I used to watch it a lot. And she had Twitch, who was a DJ who would dance with her and stuff. Yeah. And he committed suicide, I think, out of nowhere. And he had, like, a family.

It was really sad stuff. Yeah. So what are you saying? You seem to fucking... Are you alluding to... You think Ellen... I think Ellen... Yeah, I think Ellen...

I don't know. He thinks he found his car in Vegas and paid the Southside Crips to take him out? I don't know. She might have called a hit on Twitch. Never paid the Crips. How crazy is that? What a Miser. He didn't fucking pay any.

I know. I was just thinking about that. that is like, I mean, again, if all of this is true, which, you know, a lot of the points do line up, it's like, that's the worst guy ever to not pay you and then just fuck you afterwards. It's one thing not to get paid, which stink. But then if he just starts like fucking you, I'd be like, dude, what the fuck, man? You mean like literally fucking. Yeah, like, literally fucking you.

After not paying you and they're like, I want to fuck you. Yeah, that DJ was on the boat for a while. I don't know what happened to him, dude. He was getting drugged. He's getting paid now. He said he was like, I went, I took this thing, thinking I was. gonna get money to change my family's life it's like well you might get it man that's determination that's making the band that's that is making the band that's making the band but i loved

the ditty voicemails to him were great dude it's like bro i love you why the fuck are you doing this i'm gonna pay you what the fuck man i remember you you was so funny we hung out somebody being like can i get paid the albums out yeah him and him and his that was my favorite era is him and like post making the band when he was just 50 just like still getting out after it. It was really funny. Yeah, he was when he was dressed like the Joker running around screaming at people.

Yeah, you could see something. Someone was coming down the pike on that one. It was a clear mental breakdown. Well, I mean, he's going to get out and murder everybody. You think so? Yeah, definitely. We can't because everyone's going to make documentaries and prove he murdered people. He probably wants to kill himself.

He's going to... Dude, that, that like, B-roll of him, like, kind of present day, apparently there's 140 hours of that stuff. So I think there's a lot more. That's what... We were talking about what was the baby oil doing in the... Basically in the fucking like the control room.

Like, this is... Things are going bad. It's the war room. It was the war room and it's like, don't forget ecstasy and baby oil. Just in case we have like a fun night during the trial. I mean, once you get the baby oils going, it's hard to like not...

You kind of want that on deck. And God forbid things go south. Let's get a good baby oil sash with my grown son. I agree with that. That's the craziest, too, having your boy. Bringing your boy into it. Yeah. And then, like, during that, when his son was like,

we got to do something, we got to say something. He was like, God told me to be quiet. You do whatever you got to do. I kind of respect to that. Just fucking abandoning yourself. You know what you got to do. God told him to bring 14 jars of baby oil. He said there's a whole ocean of oil under my tub.

I've abandoned my boy. Yeah, I mean, that's the most, I can't think of a worse thing to come out about anybody. You think YouTube comedy docs are rough? Try getting 50 cent on your ass with some fucking B-roll dude. He's the ultimate fucking elephant graveyard. He's the ultimate, dude. Yeah, you think that's right of it. his style is actually very unoriginal.

It's like, bro, whatever. After seeing the 50 cent shit, I'm like, man, I don't care. The last thing you won is 50. He killed everybody. All your favorite rappers. He killed those guys, didn't pay anyone, and raped everybody. And you're like, dude, this is this bad. Murdering rapists.

That's crazy. Gay. You go, hold on a second. I'm not gay. I like a lot in the documentary a lot of times when he's like, when people are like complaining about him, he'll be like, man, it's just broke mindset. The guys you didn't pay and fucked,

they have broke out of these. These broke motherfuckers are funny as hell. I mean, fuck them, what? What are they talking about? That's what happens, you get so broke. Nobody's going to make that up. No dude is going to be like, yeah, and then he fucked me. That one, you don't toss that one in.

No, that's crazy, bro. That's crazy. Apparently the guy, like, you see the guy was, he was talented. It's a real. accusation. Yeah, dude. You're a straight dude. Mm-hmm.

And then going, I don't even want to talk. On the dock, I don't even want to talk. I don't even want to talk. I want to get into that. But going, I woke up and I was a little, that's exactly what a dude would say. I was just sore. I don't want to talk about it. It's like, fuck, man. Fuck, man.

But yeah, he is in for a rough one. He's already, they're already trying to, like, challenge, you know, they're probably trying to sue Netflix right now. Big time. Did he's team? Who's his team, dude? cease and desist, apparently. Apparently, yeah. Who is it, Dershowitz?

It could be. Well, apparently, that he fucked his lawyer that, not like literally, but since he definitely didn't pay his lawyers. There's no chance. But the footage, like, kind of exposes the lawyer of, like, bad practice and stuff like that because there's, like, personal or, like, what we're supposed to be private conversations that the guy was just filming the whole time and 50 put those in the dock, too.

Filming himself with his lawyers. Yeah, what the hell was that? about. I don't know, but it fucked the lawyer I heard. Really? On the internet yeah, apparently he's not too happy about it. I fucking bet, dude. Also, yeah, obviously dang, that sucks, man. Being a lawyer

stinks because then like you're just you're the guy advocating for the guy and everyone's like, what a fucking asshole. Yeah. Because his dream team, he did have a nice dream team. I also I do respect being at trial and just looking at the jury and going I know.

And it works? Bullshit. That girl that on there, the jury was like, dude, he's diddy, he's fucking sick. He kept looking to me, we were making the same face. It was kind of funny. Like, we both made the same face like, what? The girl who was like crying, that was like, I got kidnapped. And the whole jury was like,

they were just like broke mindset, clearly broke mindset. It was the broke mind virus. The broke mind virus got into the jury. The jury did not have the broke mind. They were fucking paid alphas. I mean, got the most,

It was nothing but the most extreme hustlers is the old Indian guy. They were in love. Yeah, true. That guy, shout out to fucking Diddy's jury, or his team of lawyers. For jury selection, being like fucking Pakistani immigrant,

get him the fuck on, dude. He's not going to give a fuck about that fucking video of Cassie getting hit. He's like, she shouldn't have left the room. How could she leave? He was in the middle of a bath. You must never leave your husband while he baths.

There are many oils. Oh, there were many oils in his house. Some of the finest oils. Yeah, they fucking, they would have stacked that jury with 12 angry Indians. The Indian dudes are just fully like free ditty. He's totally innocent, dude. When he fucking hit a couple of girls. I know.

they were in love and they did crazy things and he was also like and you cannot take all the glitz and glamour and take it one way or the other she could leave it's like he literally kidnapped his assistant like I'll kill her if you don't come outside oh man

yeah the one thing that really kind of rocked my socks is when the assistant was like yeah I saw all this fucked up shit but I didn't want to say anything just like for the culture and I'm like what the fuck are you for the culture what are you talking about.

You guys want to... We have representatives of the culture here. Would you guys like to speak on the culture? Scared to reach for it. I will. Yes. It's for the culture, dude. I don't got nothing to say.

You got kidnapped at gunpoint to try to murder Kid Cuddy. But you didn't want to tell anybody for the culture. That was that lady. She did it for the bag. You think it was a bag? Yeah. That's a lot of money.

It was just a craziest excuse to be like... Like, yeah, I did see him beat the fuck out of his girlfriend. He kidnapped me. But it's like, you know, just like overall for the culture. It's like, what? You're not going to tell about the murderous rapist? That didn't feel like a real sentence. That felt like, like, Matt.

Yeah, then. Like, this is for the culture. You think Capricorn was capping? She got the name for it. True name. It is Cap, dude. I can't believe a single thing you said. That cracked me up, though.

I was like, what the fuck is that? What are you talking about? Yeah. Every time I hear that, I'm like, dude. dude what are you saying what the hell are you saying it's truly like it's crazy it's insanity it's it's a fucking pure insanity it's very funny so obviously it's for the culture it's like what what are you talking about white people have to start holding that down next time there's like a white collar crime like enron just be like dude we couldn't we it's for the culture bro i knew there's inside

trading i knew they were doing all this but it's for the culture bro but yeah we we did loan Zambibia fucking $7 million at $4,000 interest Zambibia Where the fuck are you from Zambibia?

Yeah, man it's rough, man. A lot of the OG Black entertainers the line is drawn in the sand. The dude's coming out to like speak up

for Ditty are just getting absolutely destroyed. I would never want B for 50s that man. I just don't want it. Because they're coming out and they're going like, fucking obviously is clearly bullshit

and it's just they're getting it's like the worst thing they can possibly why would they speak up for him right now are they on tape that's my thing are they on cam Tony A was at the mothership on Tuesday he's doing like a press tour he's doing like all the pods right now

who's at the who's at the mother ship obviously he's Tony A but not young buck they've been beefing with young buck they've been beefing with young buck but yeah still to his day

Yeah, so. It's Matt's hip-hop corner. Gather around now, y'all. Be you start over, like, trans stuff? Young Buck, yeah, that was one of the allegations. Also, the thing is this, every one of these, like, hip-hop fucking beefs is purely internet speculation.

Yeah. It's very fun to just be like, wasn't it over trans stuff and somebody was gay? What? But that usually kind of is part of it. Unfortunately, it is coming out. But it is mostly that. So, but yeah, that documentary, man, that was great.

It was, yeah. Very well done. When you started up and you're going, how the fuck did he get this video? Still, people are trying to get the source. People are trying to figure out who it was and, you know, they're getting close, but. Who the videographer were? The videographer was. He's in trouble.

I don't think so. Bro, he's going to get shot. You think he's going to get shot? Yeah, but he is going to kill everyone. But he doesn't pay anybody. It's in the thing being like. Doesn't matter. Yeah, true.

He never cared about, he'll kill you. Yeah, true. Although he has to hire henchmen. Where's going to get the henchmen now? The henchmen are going to go, like they always have, be like, he said he's going to give me a million bucks. True, true. You know, fuck, he didn't pay me. Yeah, the henchmen afterwards.

I'm not going to tell him, though, because of the culture. Yeah, true. If the henchmen, if it was true, their story that they, like, killed Tupac and then sat right outside, watched the ambulance pull up, and then just went and smoked weed and partied. It was fucking wild. They were bad henchmen, you know? They were good. They got away with it.

They stood there. They were the best henchman ever. It was because it did. It wasn't. The guy's in jail. The guy was in jail for something else, though. Like the guy... Yeah, but dude, they're henchmen.

They were fucking killing people and just chilling outside. I know, right where they killed a guy. When you're a henchman and you don't get your money, you got to go kill the boss. Yeah, but who do you think is going to sit around and kill somebody in Las Vegas for you just like that? It's not going to be like a deck. It's not John Wick. These guys are fucking... Very, you know...

They're making bad choices all the time Yeah These guys are making terrible choices Yeah And they got away They did a good job As far as henchmen go I think

Did he make They're like you only got pox So you only get half And they didn't even But yeah true That was fair on it The deal was both Yeah

So The deal was both Bofa What's a Bofa The holidays Are basically One long combo Of eating too much

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slash MSSP for 35% off your first month's subscription who wants a bum pa guys please come I'll be at the Springfield Comedy Club in Springfield, Missouri this weekend, 1212 12, 13. It's going to be good. I hear you got some good openers. Oh yeah. I got the Mize, man. The Mize. I got the Mies. Damn, they're going to get to see

the Mies too? Yep. That's a ticket. The Mies and the flesh. Syracuse, New York. I'll be there 1219, 1220 at the Funny Bone. And then go to Matt McCusker.com. I'm going to do a bunch of shows come January 16th all over the country. Thank you. Yeah. If you're in Philly, buy tickets to the show at the link. And you should do that. There's going to be some very good special guests. The ticket will be worth it. Even if I suck, because it's in a stadium, this show's going to be worth it. Thank you.

Oh, Lamar, sure. Hey, everybody, it's me, Lamar. Why don't you promise to the camera you're going to stop drinking and driving? I promise. Yeah, dude. All right, go ahead about your fucking bullshit. I do promise. December 17th in Auburn, New York.

Please come out. I'll be there. And also, January 15th at the Helium Alpharetta, please. Please come. And Optum Noctus December 16th, actually. They've been really fun recently. They've been a hoot. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health,

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and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. That is pretty wild. I always wondered, though, why didn't Shug Knight then try to kill Diddy? You know what I mean? If it was definitely him, and he was in the car, he saw the gunman. So I was curious why Shug Knight didn't try to kill, did it? No, he didn't. He's in jail right now. Shugn's in jail?

I think he's in jail. Maybe he ran over that guy. Yeah. Yeah. I watched a weird, like, like, like, one of the Sean Blazington type videos of them interviewing Shug Knight, and he was corroborating everything that 50 was saying. Really?

He's really skinny now, though. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't talk about this. What the hell? We think you're going to get touched? The culture is speculating that he has, like, in autoimmune deficiency type deal. He might. What the hell?

What the fuck? I'm not judging. Like he's a crazy conspiracy. He probably does. Oh, you're saying, like, autoimmune deficiency. saying Shug has AIDS. That's what the culture was saying in the YouTube video

that I watched. I don't like that. I don't like you. I don't know why I even brought it on. I don't like talking about that. But him having AIDS potentially? Yeah, I don't even really want to talk about it. Oh, you thought he might have been...

You're afraid Shug's going to get you. Sean Gardini. Sean Gardini. You have to be scared. This Shugga's going to get you. Yeah. I'm not fucking saying it. I'm saying Sean Gardini

is saying that on a pretty massive platform. Yeah. You should... You're going to edit this out. No, I'm not going to edit it. You're going to hear to the streets. Yeah, the streets are talking.

I'm not, you know. He could just, you know, like jailhouse Ozempic. Yeah, it could be. Could be cooking up some oz. Or just good diet and exercise. True. True. Allegedly.

This is all alleged. These are all alleged rumors. We need that documentary. Lamar, you got a spearhead that doc. How did EZs get AIDS? Straight out of confidence. He got spearheaded documentary. He's puking.

Lamar, it's on to take care. I think LaMere has AIDS. No, not yet. Do people even get AIDS anymore? People still get it, I guess. Yeah. But it's totally manageable from what I heard. Yeah.

Like, I've had it now for like 10 years. Yeah. I catch it. I catch it every right around when the seasons change. I got it. Once I got my third booster, I got HIV. It wasn't a big deal. It wasn't a huge deal at all.

Just kidding. Anyway. Oh, there. There's a lot of college football drama. Enough of Matt's hip-hop corner. True. That's time for Shane's Sports Corner. We've covered the culture.

Now it's time to cover it. Sports. No name got butt-fucked. Not a big deal. No-dame got dittyed in front of everybody. And that's fine. We got didlered about as hard as it gets. Who done it?

It's a committee. There's a committee. They lied on us for weeks. They lied on us. They ranked us ahead of Miami and Alabama for for weeks and weeks. And then both teams not playing, they go, man, they're better. Wait a second. How the hell is that work?

Now look, I'll give them Bama. Or excuse me, I'll give them Miami. Because Miami, they both went 10 and 2, and Miami beat them. Granted, it was week zero. It was in August. And Notre Dame's starting a freshman quarterback for the first time on the road, and they lost by a field goal with one minute left. Okay.

Still, they played the game and they lost. Yeah. Give us the 1993 title. Now, we get the 93 title, if that's how we're doing it. it but then Miami proceeds to lose to SMU and Louisville who are fair to Midland quality but fair to Midland those are not great losses Notre Dame rattles off 10th straight wins by an average of 30 points a game killed everybody the rest of the year but push comes to shove they give it to the head-to-head winner which I can I was all for Miami getting in over

Notre Dame in that scenario but Bama is nine and two or ten and two going into into the conference championship game. Now, the logic is you shouldn't be punished for playing a conference championship game. It's an extra game against Georgia, who's one of the best teams. Yeah. But you get killed in the conference championship game.

You get killed. You lose 28 to 7 with negative three rushing yards total. You get bullied. Yeah. Don't move, don't drop a single rank. You stay above no day. Come on now. It's fucking bullshit.

That's crazy. That is crazy. But it's just the... That's drama. and people are people kind of gloating sending you nasty stuff? Obviously, I'm still receiving nasty messages. Non-stop.

Fuck Notre Dame, fuck you. You fucking pussy. And that's fine. What does it affect, though? It's just the standings or not? That knocked Notre Dame out of the playoffs. What? Miami and Alabama got in,

Notre Dame's out. That's fucking bullshit, bro. It hurt, bro. I woke up that morning going, Notre Dame might win a national championship. Oh. Dude, watched. It's a live show that they unveil the rankings

and who's in. And everybody's like, oh, shit. Because all the ESPN announcers the whole time, they're like, Notre Dame should be out. They've advocated against Notre Dame. So I'm, like, getting a little worried. I'm like, fuck, they're going to fuck us.

Then I check the Vegas odds, and Notre Dame's a lock. I'm like, all right, so Vegas thinks Notre Dame's in. I'm confident. Yeah. No Dame gets fucked. What? So I go from thinking,

we got a chance this year. We got a lot of talent. We could compete for a title. Then later that day, they declined to even playing a bowl game and the season's just over. What? Yeah, Notre Dame's dumb.

Why don't they play the bowl game? It's a good question, Matt, but I like it. I like their decision. They're like, fuck you guys then. Yeah, they were like, fuck you guys then. Because it would have made ESPN and the ACCC money. And both of them campaigned against Notre Dame. Yeah, let them feel the pain.

Also, half our team was going to sit out because it's a meaningless. They were like, all right, you can't win a national title, but you can play in the fucking Pop-Dart Bowl in Orlando. Fuck you. How are they looking next year? I mean, I'm already thinking next year. They're going to be nasty, brother. They're going to be fired up.

And they got a chip on the shoulder. And guess who's coming to town next season? Miami. Oh, we're going to fuck them up, dude. I can't wait. Yeah, that's going to be a fun one. Yeah, dude. I kind of like them getting snubbed and having a little chip on the shoulder.

I do too, but the thing that hurts is we'll never get to see Jeremiah Love run the rock for the Irish again. That sucks. Devastating. I thought to get a few more games out. Who do they got? Who do they got? Is there a young team, aren't they? They are, but we lose.

We'll be all right. Transfers and the recruiting classes the last couple years. have been pretty nasty. Yeah. This year's, oh, I'm so excited to see these young boys play football.

True. You know? I'm sorry to happen. That sucks. Yeah, it was a devastating day. That's fucking... And then the Eagles lost in embarrassing fashion again.

Forget that. Bears lost for the Packers, too. Yeah. I was rooting the Bears on. I understand rooting for the Bears. It's my number two team. You got to support the Bears. Especially versus the packs.

Especially like those consistent basement dwellers finally being good. Yeah, true. That's fun. See the Lions come out of the basement? You go, look at you boys. It'd be like if the Browns were good, you'd go, fuck, yeah. But more importantly, Michigan's head coach just got fired yesterday.

For what? Originally it was for cause. So on the contract, you can get fired and not get, like if you have a cause to get fired. Okay. So the initial statement is for cause. That's a general. Then you go, what did he do? He was banging a couple of the female recruiting assistants.

bro and uh yeah there's some nasty footage out there really and like standing next door before a game like apparently a text that came out that was just like yo come give me head oh now that one i don't know how valid that is it but then he got detained by the cops what allegedly for what i don't know i think he went to somebody's house and i think he threatened uh I think he threatened to exit this word, the earth, you know? Whoa. Publicly. I think he said, you want to fucking ruin my life, bitch?

Respectable power move. You want to ruin my life? Yeah, respectable power move, obviously. Now, those are alleged allegations. That is a, I mean, it's respectable if you're whiling out that hard, and then it's like everything, I'm guessing. And you're a wife and kids. So that's where it's like.

I'd imagine that. That's kind of the last move to be like, I'll kill my fucking self, dude. Yeah. God forbid I had a little bit of fun. Now you want to ruin a whole life. I am going to kill myself and it's your fault. The thing we got to find out, because this is classic dirty Michigan. Classic dirty Michigan.

Yeah. Did they know that this happened? Because somebody tweeted about it like two weeks ago. A little Sandusky Joe Pye. Somebody said, I know what, Sharon's getting fired and this is why. And everybody ignored it. Now, the reason they would ignore it is so they could sign their recruiting class that they already had committed. and then go, actually that guy's a scumbagg, he's out.

But you got to sign you got to play from Michigan. They tried to, they tricked high school kids on top of their coach being a dirtbag. And I, you know, dirtbag's strong, but just getting a little head. Come on. Boyles. I mean, although that kind of stuff. By the way, dude, I can't, come on. That stuff boils down to the team, though.

If you're in such a leadership position, you can't be out here whowing out like that. Well, Mayor, could you do some research? Is there a quarterback transferring? Yeah, Underwood? I feel like, if I were the coach a, huh, a coach. college program, I'd be like, guys, I'm not going to come this entire season unless we win the championship. Yeah. And which is what they had. Their last coach, their national champion coach, Jim Harbaugh. Yeah. She's a beast. Full-blown autist. Really? He would never come like that.

No, you can't. He would literally be like, what? What are you talking about? Yeah, I feel like for the- He's drinking milk, dude. That's the best. He drinks milk. He does it. He takes his shirt off to play seven-on-seven with high school kids. He wore packages, shirtless, and played seven-on-seven. He's the fucking Jim Harbaugh is the man. Yeah, I feel like as a coach, you can't try to be out here getting pussy and be cool, dude. You got to be totally focused on the game. I agree. I mean, players obviously should be too, but when I hear about coaches trying to eat pussy,

I'm like, dude, knock it off, man. Wait until you find out about Lane Kiffin. What's up with him? Badman. Boy, is a reed bad man. He's not afraid to talk to college girls while being the head coach at Old Miss. Can't do it, man. Which, can you blame him?

Bro, can you imagine? sorority girls from Ole Miss So are they trying to take down the coach like that? Yeah, well, the only reason they're taking down Lane Kiffin now is because he left to take the LSU job from Ole Miss, which his team has one loss and they're going to the playoffs and he still quit.

The whole sport's just... Yeah, what the hell's going on? Money. Money changed the sport entirely. Dan, these guys are superstars now. They're all stars. Players, coaches, they're all... It's strictly business.

Yeah. Brian Kelly taught us that at Notre Dame, dude. We've been burned before. True. But we got deadied. We fucking, we hired him after he made, he took Cincinnati from, like, Cincinnati, took him to a sugar bowl, like undefeated. And then he quit before the bowl to take the Notre Dame job.

Abandoned his team before the biggest game in school history. Kind of crazy, man. It was kind of the right move because they were playing Florida, and they were definitely going to get butt-fucked. I went undefeated, you guys fucking lost. And I got 30-mills. Yeah, I mean, couldn't they just let him play that one last game? Sometimes they do that

Or they're like, we need you hurry up Yeah Get over here And when Kiffin left He took a lot of the staff too So Ole Miss loss Like the coaching staff Dang

I didn't know so much drama Going down A lot of drama I still think with all the apps now That you have to like If you want to watch a sport It's like Does YouTube TV cover like every sport thing

Or is there still teams Where it's like you gotta pay a monthly It depends If you're Notre Dame And you're a national brand and everyone loves you, you're going to be on TV. Yeah, for sure. No, they cover the big games, yeah.

I feel like the gambling apps, the least they can do is pull together some money and just stream every game for free. Of course. That's what they should do. That would be the right thing. I think I saw that at a bar, which is the smartest thing I've seen was

one of those, like, Fandall or Draft Kings or one of those had a TV network, and it was showing, like, Serbian basketball at like 3 a.m. It's the least they can do. First off, you're going to make so much money. Yeah, true. the rights to Japanese fucking baseball.

Yeah. And just show it at fucking 3 a.m. when everyone's drunk. Especially, I think that's the least they can do, especially after like, you know, the guy who was on the app for six months, lost everything, punch his wife's in jail.

He should at least be able to watch sports. In jail. He should be like, oh, fuck, I wish I could be gambling on this. Fucking bitch wife said I'm not allowed. But at least they're streaming every game for free, which, because that's what I've been hearing. It's like a pain in the ass.

Like, where's the game on? Like, oh, you need this thing. You ought to go to this app. It is. Like, dude. in sports like baseball, especially here in Texas, where it's like you can't get local. Yeah. Like I had to buy the baseball thing to watch the Phillies.

Yeah. Nate had to buy the league pass to watch the 76ers who are still fun. The Lakers game, the Lakers game, look, I hate to, hate to lose, but watching LeBron have fun. Watching LeBron drop 30. The only thing I did like is the crowd was so hype for him, but I got it at it at the same time. Like, you get to watch LeBron hoop one last time. When he would dunk. I was like, oh.

Still got it. How long? He's been playing. How long has he been in the league now? It has to be like 21, 21 years, 22 years? What? Yeah. Yeah, I was in like...

We were kids. Yeah, we were kids. Jesus Christ, that's crazy. He's played against, like, players and their dads. Like, he's been in the league so long. He's played against dads that now have sons... He dropped 30 on generations. Yeah, yeah.

He's dunked on different generations. Yeah, he's kind of a man. He is. He is a stodomir's me and the Agen because of LeBron. What do you do, the Stademeyers? He's Thanos, dude. He killed the Stadamires.

He just dumped the... The hard ways, the staff. Everyone's getting fucking whole family lines getting wiped. The curries are next. The curry, yeah. I'm rooting for LeBron's son. Everyone was hating on him.

Kind of rooting for him. Oh, you know what I'm running for? Shador. Are you really? Is he turning it around? I see. I started cheer for him when he dropped in the draft. Yeah.

It'd be fun to see him do well. And unfortunately got sent to the fucking Browns where you're never going to, every quarterback that's ever been sent there just dies. True. But he played all right. He's doing all right. Is he really? He's starting now the rest of the season.

It's kind of sick. Yeah. I hope he does well. Also, Dion kind of shut the fuck up a little this year. He chilled out. I think his team sucked. What's Colorado do? Well, Mayor.

What was Colorado football's record? And did Bryce Underwood transfer from Michigan? They're saying it was. Yeah, you don't really hear much about the Buffalo. That was a big news last year. They were. And then the Buffaloes never really did a single thing. So they kind of had to move on.

Yeah, that was kind of exciting. They were just stoking racial division as hard as they could. That was crazy. Just for the check for 2024, dude. They were three and nine this year. They were three and nine. Yeah. I had a feeling because Neon was awfully quiet.

So they didn't change. It's time to take the humble approach. Didn't change. the game after all. That was, they was like posing it. Like it was like a sports revolution that was going to change the game.

Yeah, they had a black coach. It's the first time in the history of football. It was crazy. Other than Notre Dame. But whatever. Maybe he's not a dick. But yeah, that's another one.

Like I would shit on them and then you look into how fucking nasty Dion was and it's like, I understand why he's insane. Yeah, every. He deserves to be insane. He was like the greatest. Dude, every time we played backyard football, it would just be 12 kids pretending to be

neon Dion. And the high step? Yeah, the whole time. Yeah, high step, a little shuffle when you score. The whole time. Yeah, that's good sports talk, though. There's a lot going on. I'm hitting you with, like, the girl version of sports talk.

You know what I mean? I'm giving you the drama. You give me the dirty beats. We're not talking ball. We're talking off-field issues. Talking the narrative. We're talking. You know I love the narrative.

You guys see your boy Kiffin. What's he up to? Just the text. The girls are. You can't obviously, dude, if you talk to college girls, they're going to fucking post it. I know. And they take, they would, like, one girl would hold her Snapchat and the other girl would take a picture of it. And be kiff and be like, don't tell your boyfriend about this.

Ha ha. Come over to my house. It's like, dude, you're cucking a fucking high school. A fucking college kid, dude. I know, dude. That's evil. I know. Some poor kid, there's a fan of yours.

It's a fan of the school. He's going to the games. Like, slide it, toddy, tawny, come on, old miss. Ugh. Slides the visor backwards. it's time for a blow job. Yeah, I just don't like the idea of coaches getting a bunch of pussy from Kyle.

It just bothers me. Bothers me deeply. You should, dude. You're a hardball, man. True. You would love Jim Harbaugh. I really like the sound. As much as I talk shit on Michigan,

hardballs, man. Yeah, I just... They cheated, but awesome. True. I wish no name to cheat. I don't give a fuck. Cheat win. Please.

True. Thank for forgiving us later. This episode is brought to you by Aura. Oh yeah. Last minute shopping for gifts is the worst. The shelves have been picked clean. And really, if you've been putting it off this long, there's a good chance you have no idea what they even want. You know. Every year. Oh, yeah. I struggle to shop for it. Matt, before you do anything? I just need you to riff for me, daddy. Riff on something about aura frames for me, daddy. No, I like to give them to my mom. I've told you this before. I like to give them to my mom, me, my brother, sisters, pictures of us as babies in the bathtub. Then I have some ones from us when we were like a little older in the bathtub. And we're actually recreating the whole family in the bathtub.

I need to get a copy of that. I need a copy of that. Cousins and all. We're all going to get in there and just do like different shots. Kind of like a calendar situation. So just us, our children, all of us in the bathtub. James is doing that with his daddy. James is dad getting in the splash.

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And I have a picture myself for my eyes. It's like a portrait, but my eyes actually move. Oh, wow. Some people come by, I go, and I go, got you. You go. Everybody comes in and you go. So that's something. That's a fun thing you can do with it. It's a fun trick you can do with it. And it comes in a premium gift box, so you don't even have to worry about wrapping it. Think about that. That's the best. Um, save on the perfect gift by visiting oraframes.com, we get $35 off or is best selling Carvermat frames frames. That's awesome. They were named number one by wirecutter. That's huge. By using promo code MSSP at checkout. That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com promo code MSSP. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get in time. for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and Condition Supply.

Yeah, that's, dang, that's fucking crazy, man. Who do you got for the NFL? Winning the Stupid Bowl? The birds. The birds are going to come back, dude. I know it. I know it. I know it.

I know that we're going to come back. Are they even in like the wild card, Ronnie? Yeah. They're still top of the division. Okay. But they're sliding. Yeah, what the hell is going to? I just lost three straight.

Do you think it was... And that means... They lost five of the last seven. Right? Because it was two losses, then two wins, then three losses. It's not too late to turn on the Jets, but I don't know, man. I think it's just the... They looked all right.

In the loss, I don't mean to make an excuse. A lot of turnovers, a lot of unfortunate turnovers. A.J. Brown, yeah, but he's... He had a game. And Sequin looked good. They could run the ball a little. Let's get some designed runs to Jalen Hertz. Yeah.

What's the point of having him stand back there and throw? Let's use his legs a little. Dude, I'm not against you on that. Let's get a fucking designed run. Don't you think, though, it's a little just like post-Super Bowl curse. It's got to be hard to play the season after. For sure. You're partying up after winning the big Super Bowl.

I think I already rode off this season. After they won the Super Bowl, I was like, they're not going to do very well. You got to let them taste the pain. You got to let them taste the pain and then maybe they'll come back again because I didn't want to, you know, deflate your guys spirit. I saw you guys cheer for the birds. I'm like, guys, this is not their year. I knew.

I knew. Going in the season. No, it is a true thing. that it's very difficult to repeat. It's crazy. A lot of teams don't make the playoffs after they win. Yeah, I don't know how you would.

It'd be impossible. I would still be celebrating like three years later. I would never shut up about it. Every play, I'd be sacked 15-yard loss, but yeah, last year, one whole fucking thing.

It was so sick. Get a ring, pussy. I would wear my ring. Anybody you tackle me. I go, dude, you'll never win. I haven't, it's already over. I'm done. Like, dude, I already cashed in.

I'm done. It's also funny, dude. He's getting hit really hard. He'll be like, yeah, whatever, pussy. Well, even with like Kels, it's like, dude, him and his brother have a billion dollar podcast. I think Kelsey's having a good year, though. You had a rough game this week.

I'm sure he's good, but it's like, you wouldn't catch me going across the middle. A little bit high across the middle. I'm like, yeah, I got a million dollar podcast to do one day. I'm not going for that. I'm going to talk about fucking, I'm going to sell fucking toilet paper and shit. I'm not doing this. You can't crushed across the middle by a young, hungry middle linebacker. Like, yeah, I'm good.

You can have that. I'm also married to Taylor Swift. Yeah. I don't have to catch that ball. Yeah. I'm going to get someone. I'm going to go to outer space. I'll be on the moon, pussy.

I'll pay someone to catch that for me, bro. Yeah. He's got that long money now. True. I'm going to hire a tight end of my own and put him out there. Yeah. You should be able to do that. She should be like the draft in the Civil War.

He should be like, 300 bucks I can send someone else out. I know what I always want people to do, just all the young people out there working. It's like, I don't understand why people don't do this. If you have a remote job, from my understanding, it doesn't take up that much of your time. Like, it doesn't take, it's not like a 40-hour non-stop thing. You're at your house. You're kind of answering emails. Apply for three or four remote jobs.

Get all of them and then outsource it all to dudes in like Pakistan. Do like data entry, some like easy, dumb bullshit. And then just get like three salaries at once. get like three like modest salaries and then just hire you hire a fucking warehouse in yeah you can hire dudes on fiver and give them fuck you can get 30 bucks an hour and pay dudes 10 and just have like four salary jobs and just boss up it's so the future of probably what dudes we're doing with like contracts yeah just being like yeah I'll sign this contract to redo your porch yeah you sub it out and go I'm going to fucking home depot right now and be like boys I'll

give you 10 bucks go build that fucking porch I know that's what I'm saying but nobody subs out white collie you never hear about it employee subbing out there. They got that fucking it's the broke I got the broke mind virus too. They do.

It's the broke mind virus. All they know is sitting in their sweatpants in their house but like, oh, I don't feel like going on this Zoom.

It's like, oh, a second. That's not the broke mind virus. That's what I'm doing right now. Sitting in sweatpants

and I don't feel like going on TV or the Zoom. Yeah, but just wail out. Just fucking blank screen guy from fucking Nepal just be like, yes, buddy.

Sorry guys. I have a cold. Excuse my accent. My accent. Like, yes, buddy. Very good. You're talking to four Indian guys.

That's a nice fucking squad. Just like chorus like, yes, okay. That'd be awesome. That guys, I'm actually working for remote. I'm in fucking Kabul right now. Forgive my internet connection. Yeah, time. It's a great idea, man.

I'm telling you, I wish people would do that. I would do that right now. If I'd get a job again, I would just get nine jobs. I'd apply for nine jobs to get as many as I can. Absolutely. on your resume as hard as you have a company dude at that point yeah you'd be the boss be the boss you'd be the employee boss you'd be a employee but the boss you'd be the secret boss also it's so easy to get those jobs just be like find like a local especially if you're in like a shitty town

just where people are kind of you know you just go to like a car dealership and be like i'll be the social media manager dude done any data entry job just go to any any shitty company and go I'll be your social media manager. You've got to hire an Indian to post shit on Facebook once a week. Piece of cake. Five grand a month. True. Here we go.

True. That's all you got to do. That's my, that's the business corner. We do the sports corner now we're in business. Now back to business. Now, what is this, the money channel? But now, man.

Dude, I did a last, two nights ago. I got to go to my kids like Christmas concert for the school. Dude. Musta rocked. It was so awesome. It's also funny because like... Did you up at all? Yeah, big time.

I was like laughing. Seeing the little angels? Dude, especially, yeah. My, the youngest went up too and she was like facing the wrong way. I don't know how. It was facing sideways. She's sitting there like, turn around. Dude, I was.

I was dying because all the kids are, they take it all very seriously. Yeah. And then I just watched my daughter just like turn around. She would start like poking people next to her. And then like a part of the song, she knew it. And she would turn around and put her hands. hear and be like, ha,

singing as loud as you good. But it was funny because as kids get older, you know, like kindergarten. So boys and girls going pretty hard. Once you hit like second,

third grade, you can see the boys start being like, I don't want to do this shit anymore. And the girls carry the performance so hard. The boys are like, they'd have clap and move a little bit.

And you see the girls just like belting it out. The dudes are just existing being like, come on man, let me the fuck. Yeah. It's so funny watching that

as the years progress to where dudes just immediately are like, I'm not doing this shit. girls really take that shit so seriously they never stop taking that kind of shit seriously if you were to get like eight women right now like yeah you guys got to make up a dance and put on a song and they'd like okay it would be so serious it's gonna look like shit but it was that was really funny taking me it was taking me back to grade school when you just sit up there and you're

like god damn it I feel so weird my brother's out there laughing at me right now I got fucked every year on that every year I'd be like I'm gonna get a good role in this they put me in the back the fucking tablo it was it what was it called the like where you do the nativity scene yeah yeah isn't it the tablo I don't know if it's called the tableau it's called something could be it's

it's gonna be tough to Google it I always wanted to be a shepherd or a wise man I got shepherd one and I got a hold a banner and go like this just shake a banner what were you aiming for like Joseph I could have got Joseph I got baby Jay baby Jay would have been nice I could lay down

and go wha Just rise up and go on and just skip forward And start attacking the juice They're here, get them You will not turn my father's temple But yeah man That was the concert was sick

It was really funny watching You told me you're doing that And I was like damn that's gonna be nice Oh so nice dude Yeah this one And like dude Maya takes it so seriously We have video footage Tablo

Fuck yeah Tablo It's in there That's a big moment Because we had a play We had a play for all the kids that could be nice and act and be good. And then all the shitty kids were in the tableau where all you have to do is stand there for like five seconds and pretend to be the nativity. Yeah, but do you get to hold a cane as a shepherd?

I got to hold a cane one year and then the next year I literally just stood behind everyone and shook a banner back and forth. My parents said to be like, this kid's a fucking bum already. He's just fucking loser. There's fucking 20 kids in his class. He got last. He got the last job. I've told this before we had to do a play and and I immediately it was like I was so older brother Pilled that I was like that dude being in any plays gay I'm stage crew well that's what that's how it's

that's what happened I got in there and you're like supposed to audition I was like I'm not gonna fucking do this I'm gonna make fun of this I'm gonna make the bat hold of the play I'm holding the banner gonna fuck that guy looks cool as shit dude he got to play Joseph and the girl I liked played Mary that was always she looked fucking hot as fuck as Mary why why is it always How do they know the hottest chick is married? Every time. And yeah. Do you guys do a May procession?

What's that? We did this thing around. It's actually kind of pagan now that I think about it. But in our Catholic school, we would do this thing where it was like around May, the hottest chick would be Mary basically. The May queen. We would all, like, the May queen. Wow. So we would all like follow.

It's pagan, dude. It is kind of pagan, bro. It's fully pagan. It was very pagan, but we'd have the May queen. You know a little sprinkling for the May queen. And we were like follow. It was like a procession. They would just take like the hottest.

chick with the biggest boobs in your class. They'd be like, yeah, she's married. She's got the biggest tits. She's married. She could bear a child. And yeah, and we'd all just like follow her. And that was the one I'd be like, God, she looks so beautiful, dude. That would, that would fuck me up.

Yeah. But during the play, I remember a stage crew as soon as any of the actors would be called, it was like, they were cute to go out. I would hold on to the back of their costume. Come on, let me go. Let me go. We'd do that in stand-up. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd grab people over there. They're like, oh, you're going out. What the fuck off eat Yeah, it was so fun But yeah, my cousin landed the hero role He landed like the main role And we were all just backstage Weird and he kind of killed it

And we're all just like Fucking pussy That's so lame And you see him on stage next to the babe And you'd be like fuck you I was there next to the babe And set him in the back Fuck

Yeah it was awesome Christmas play ruled Then you sing joy to the world At the end Same at the end of Christmas Mass That's the only time I'd belt in church You could get me out hit the hardest. JTW?

Yes. That'd be awesome. You guys don't know shit about JTW. Yeah. I wasn't at school. You got kicked out for being a sex perpetrator. But I made it through seven grades of it. I went through.

I did the singing. Well, we didn't have to do a play, though. You were the donkey in the play. I was always whatever. You were out dressed like a donkey. No. Get the sex pervert in the donkey suit. Yeah, what were you, Nate?

Were you like a wise man from the East? We didn't do the play From Zambibia There's a wise man from Zambibia Coming up He's here in Redden, Pennsylvania We did the songs from Sister Act I had to do the rap part

Which one? Huh? Joyful, Joyful Lord, or it was called Yeah, and I still remember the last I was hoping it was gonna be Oh, happy day, that was a good one That was great I think we might have to do that too

But I didn't do Those are the two songs We always did two from a movie I can't remember I just remember doing Joyful Joyful Lord And then we did the year before that we did Oliver And it was just like food glorious food I don't know why but that's what we do

That's nice that's awesome Lamarida do you ever participated in any holiday plays No Why not? I don't think my school could afford it Could afford a fucking play it's free In Detroit? It's free yeah but like

They didn't like they didn't make us do it No, it's not. I think Redding in Detroit, I think Redding might have a case here. It's smaller, but it's, you know, it's just, it's pretty fucking poor. Although Detroit might be holding it down as the number one poorest. Yeah. It might have the broke mine virus. Yeah, why are you competing?

Why are you competing for poverty? It's not good. That was Gardini. He came up with that. Give credit where it's due. Yeah. The gardener. I have a surprise behind me if you want to.

What is it? Okay, hold on. It's a birthday cake for Shane. Shane's birthday today. It's your special day. You got on that little bitty cake? What the fucking day? I thought it was going to be bigger.

Dang. I thought it was going to be bigger. And I thought they were supposed to come with candles too. They didn't give me a candles. He's no kidding. You got me a cupcake. Brother just slap in the fucking face. Show it to the camera.

Yeah. You want to get Cheney cake? I'm like, yeah, get him a cake. Bro, that's a slap in the fucking face. Smack it out of his hand. You bring this to me on my day? No, that was... The cake's perfectly intact.

That was Matthew's idea to slap it. I would never do something. Oh, it's an Oreo cake. Thank you. Did you walk four miles and get it? Did you walk and get it? No, no, I didn't... This looks very good.

delivered. Thank you. It needs to be defrosted before serving. I got him a frozen cupcake. We got to let it sit at room temperature for 30 to 45 minutes. What the fuck is that? I mean,

no candles. I ordered the candles I forgot the candles. He did buy me some zins this morning. That's chill. And I tried to get candles at the CVS. They didn't have them. That's okay. I appreciate the effort. Yeah, the cake is nice. it's not very nice it's so tiny

it said it's served four to five people yeah what the no it won't there's false advertising dude that's I try so hard for you guys and then you guys give me one fucking cupcake

I tried to get you a nice cake no I don't want a cake I didn't I knew you wouldn't want it I would not want it possible scenario a tiny frozen cake Where did you get that from?

Amy's ice cream. They fucked me. So I fuck Amy's ice cream. Totally fucked you. They said four to five people and I ordered the candles for five extra dollars. And they did not give me the candles. So Amy's, you want my shit list.

No, Amy's is great. Don't. Amy's ice cream is good ice cream, but not known for their fucking birthday cakes. I like ice cream cakes. So that's why I hate ice cream cake. That's crazy.

I have always hated ice cream cake. ever since I was younger. It's like just have ice cream? I was so pumped when someone got an ice cream cake. I hated that shit. I don't like cake. I like ice cream cake. See, I like cake and I like ice cream.

Like funfetti though. Funfetti cake. Fonfetti's fucking slamming. Get some vanilla on there. Funfetti's slamming. You guys could have got funfetti cake. Guys, I'm 38 years old. I need a funfetti cake.

What color of frosting? Funfetti frosting. I like the way that this is sprinkled taste in there. Dude, he really, it's like I can taste them, man. Yeah. When you have them, you're like, these do give you a taste. Because it is just vanilla. It's a delicious treat.

But funfetti is so fucking good. Bonfetti ice cream. Amara, would you get me for my birthday? Just a big fat puke in the toilet. Just a puke in my bathroom. You jacked off in my house and cute in it. He said, happy birthday, brother. I was going to spill every bodily fluid in your house for your birthday.

I did eat some chicken alfredo he made this week. Where did you get those noodles? quality everything he made I couldn't believe how good it was he made chicken alfredo it was fucking delusium yeah the mayor's a chef yeah he said he debrie everything Gibree learns he has a twin

everything his twin learns he learns too he went to culinary school and the mayor got the download he did honestly learn everything Jabry knows not everything everything everything

yeah we were talking about 38s of useless age. Yeah, it's pretty dumb. Yeah. Nobody gives a shit. 38, 39. I also, I thought I was 38 this whole year. Did you? It was one of those, yeah. I've been already 40. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. No, I've been 40 my whole, this whole year. If anyone asks me, I'm 40, pretty goes, you're actually 39. I go, shut the hell up. I'm fucking 40. Yeah, 39's embarrassing. 39 is like, don't even talk to me about my age. I'm fucking 50 right now. I'm 75. I'm dead. Yeah, I'm my Spotify. I identify as my Spotify age.

73, I think. Seventy-three. I'm an old soul. But yeah, dude, I was telling you before I came here, just, I think from Saturday morning, I had like a two-day hangover from. For sure. Staying out all night, went to like a kid's B day at like 11 a.m. And I was like, I could have just slept, but I woke up and I'm like, I slept into like

10.30. And I was like, I'm up. This is crazy. I never sleep in this late. Go to this fucking birthday, like a Ninja Warrior course. I'm just like, my head is killing me. My eyes were. My skin felt weird.

Yeah, dude, we were up so late. It was horrible. Kids be days. Oh, dude, it was absolutely brutal. And then I go, I take a nap. Before I took a nap, Bernie goes, oh, we have a bar crawl today.

And I was like, you gotta be fucking kidding me. So we got to take a nap, wake up, still hung over. Yeah. And at like 6.30 p.m., we all went out first to like get food and drinks. And I just like drank a martini or, which I'm gonna call it, espresso martini, just to fight the hangover off. and then just sat there just at every bar like oh you only had one i had and then i sipped like you got it drinks the problem was every year last year i had do you ever have a buttered rum

i'm not sure dude buttered rum is maybe the perfect holiday drink it's just rum warmed up with like a quarter stick of butter and maple syrup and cinnamon oh i remember it last year and it was just such a treat i looked forward to it all year going can't we go back i can't wait to go back the miracle on Fifth Street. I'm getting a buttered rum. Show up and they go, we only have coconut hot chocolate. I go, motherfucker, bro. I'm so hungover and I was banking

on this. I was going to eat an espresso martini and a buttered rum and then feel better tomorrow and they didn't have it and I might have to make my own buttered rum. You should. I am. I'm going to make one on Christmas. I'm going to put, I'm going to, you know, trigger warning to anyone who believes of Santa Claus. I want to put all the Christmas gifts together and I'm going to have a

buttered rum and then another one at Christmas dinner. Yeah. I can't wait. That's something to look forward to. Oh, I can't. I look forward to it all fucking year. Yeah, that's a holiday treat. In my darkest hour going, I don't see the buttered rum on the menu, but I sure like one.

They were not making it. I went, oh, my God. I can tell you, if I was, if I had gone on a bar crawl that day, I would have blacked out. Yeah. I would have gone as hard as I could. To escape the pain of that hangover. See, I. I laid in the tomb and just took it on the fucking chin, dude.

Fucking wish, man. I was, I was dying. Watch college football all day, just laid there. True. Then watch Notre Dame get absolutely butt-fucked the next day. Oh, you added that. I was watching the Alabama game going, they're out. We're in.

They have to be out. They had negative rushing yards. How? Notre Dame had more rushing yards than Alabama in the conference championship game. See, couldn't you do like a math? It's like a math equation where you go like stat for stat almost? You can. And Notre Dame's ahead.

But there is strength of schedule. Yeah. Notre Dame had a weak-ass schedule. Yeah. What are you going to do? There's nothing we can do. Teams backing out. They joined two conferences now.

So they're kind of like two super conferences. It's just the Big Ten in the SEC. So they're kind of, they're starting to like, they kind of fucking hate that Notre Dame's independent. Right. Is there like a Vince McMahon behind this all? Like putting these all together? No.

I mean, there's commissioners of conferences, for sure. But there's just a ton of money in the SEC in the Big Ten. So these schools like Texas and Oklahoma, they were Big 12. It used to be a geographical fun time. That makes sense, yeah. Now it's not. Now UCLA is playing fucking Rutgers. What are we talking about?

What's the hell about that? In fucking women's volleyball. They got to get on a fucking charter playing like, on a fucking Wednesday night you're playing in New Jersey. Yeah, that's kind of nuts, actually. And you're just a beautiful girl from UCLA. God, I wish I was a beautiful girl from UCLA. I know.

I said I'm a 38-year-old fucking slo. You know a beautiful girl from UCLA would have gotten on her birthday? Oh my God. Diamond bracelet, dude. She would have gotten the whole world. What I got? A broken cake from a fucking shitty wop. I'm a disgusting wop smoking cigarettes.

The cake smells like cigarettes. It was from all of us, by the way. You guys all chipped in. Sean quarterbacked it. This is from all four you. You guys each pay 50 cents. That's chipped in 75 cents. How much was that cake?

It was a... Come on. Five bucks. Plus five for the candles. You got him a $5 cake? No, 25. $25? Yeah, it's kind of fucked me.

I am with you. You think you get a, you know... Yeah. At least an eight-incher. I was hoping for eight inches. Paul's. I was looking for eight inches. Never came.

Game Shane, the microbird. You did give me the microbird. That's the thought that counts. I can't imagine if I was a UCLA volleyball girl. I mean, bro. What my birthday would be like today? I've been crazy. Instead, it's just, I'm going to lay here.

Champagne. I'm going to play hell let loose. Champagne everywhere. I'm going to get the O'Connman on the horn. True. I mean, his cousin are going to play hell let loose. I'm going to get killed every five seconds. Jog.

Gosh, darn it. Well, we did it. Yeah. Happy birthday. Thanks, man. Happy birthday. Another one in the books, dude. True.

We did it. Yeah All right Join the Join the patron I mean we're gonna go crazy Oh I have I've been actually I'm gonna talk about Beowulf

I started reading Baywolf again Perfect It's the best book ever Thank you Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane Secret Podcast on Spotify Do it