Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support WARMODE @ https://www.patreon.com/WARMODE Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello! The broz just started filming Tires szn 3 so we got a little basement night cast for you. Blessed by Bill and Gerby. I can't lie to you guys it's a VERY hot cast. Not much else to say. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! ps the paytch will be alittle late this week. hold. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Wild Wild West And we're live, dude Wow Matthew, thank you for joining us Bill, thank you for joining us Stephen, thank you for joining us I appreciate you guys coming here For sure Matt

Matt, how are you? I'm doing pretty good dude I would see you until long dude I know, so uncomfortable so awkward It's just so fucking weird Between guys

I know what you've been up to What do you think I've been up to You've moved on What? Training bro Dude cute a training montage That's all I'm doing I know

I'm training to that when I was like in a couple months, I want you to go, damn, dude. I mean, every time I see you, I go, bro, you need to put that. He's the smashing machine. You're literally the smashing machine. Have you seen that? No.

You smashed McCosper. I didn't want to smash it. I train for you and my mommy. I love, dude, the summertime, my mom gives me the thumbs up or thumbs down. If I go to the pool, take my shirt off, she'll literally be like, you got fat. Or she'll go, wow, you put on some muscles. Hello. Mommy's muscle man.

That's what I try to be over here. Mommy's little muscle man. I'm hoping to be your muscle man this summer. You're more jack than Bill. I had right now. It's kind of crazy, dude. I never thought I'd start putting up my name. I never thought you would either.

What you put it up? Bensch, 235. Lie, lie, lie. Bench, 335. Go high, go high. Twice. I'll get up there. No, I'm saying lie.

Get up to 315. Finally. For 10? Nah, never mind. Lie. What's a squat? We got the same thick-ass legs, brus squat. I'm all calisthenics right now, so there's nothing.

What's your, what would you have you? squad ever. I have no fucking idea. Probably 2.25. I hate that shit. I would just throw my back out every time I squatted. I do like rep 25 for a week and then just I'm not trying to be a dick. 225 for warm up dude. 225s for warm up way. I feel I'm gonna try to get the 350. I don't think I'll be able to get the 1,000 pound club. You should. I came. I flew here to tell you. I don't think I'll be able to get the thousand. I can't do it. I don't think I'm gonna do 900 pound club. Make the shirt. You like a Lever-King when he admitted he's on juice. What are you talking about?

Don't bring him up. I'm maddie. Come over here. He's going to get here, dude. Wi-Fi passers. He's the buggy man. Did you see him? Do you do that? What do you say? The Wi-Fi passers.

It's fuck Seth Rogen. Oh, yeah, he calls him Seth. He's fully lost his mind. That's probably... He's coming for you. This has nothing to do with me. Yeah. I don't want to...

I'm not talking shit on the Liver King. Me and Brian Johnson go way back. Dude, I don't know what you're doing right now. He's going to fucking get you. I'm not scared of that, dude. What? Liverkin? How are you not afraid of...

How are you naming people? Cry. What? He's mentally unstable right now. That's exactly you need the whole to bother. I don't think he can travel across state lines currently. He can do. I've been following his Instagram.

He was just on vacation. He could travel. Yeah, the king can move, dude. Look, you're sitting in front of the board. The king can move. Yes, he's going to get you. You pawn, dude. Okay.

I don't mention the king. I'm not afraid of BJ. That's all I'm saying. How, bro. He's terrifying. Pretty boy muscles. Bro. What are you sick?

He's fucking primal, dude. He's fucking primal. What are you on? Primal. I'm not on steroids. Dude, I'm more primal than him. Dude, if a caveman got steroids, it would take it. Hold on, genuinely, this is a mistake.

Like, an actual mistake, dude. Liver King's going to get you. You want to die by a liver king? Getting killed by Liver King would be sick. Death by Liver King. What, do you do that? Like, pound it, lock it down? Fuck.

Fuck, I've been watching a lot of it. It's a good self. You'd like the Liver King. I don't. I mean... You don't like me. God damn. Gervin and Billy versus the Liver King.

Got to be good and true. I love the Liver King. I don't like three. point out, like 1.0, and then once he started admitting that he's on steroids, fuck that. Just lie until you die. Yeah. True. That's what I was trying to tell you with the numbers for him.

Just lie about the numbers. As soon as someone goes, how much can you bet? You get a 3.15. I feel, don't know. I don't know. I don't understand that shit. It's like dudes act like they're not going to get in the Hall of Fame if they get someone catches them during steroids. Like, dude, you're just chilling.

Like, nothing. It doesn't matter. I have to be on steroids now, pretty much. Well, speak for yourself. Not me. But I'm saying, dude, you've been juice. I'm telling him, I'm not in the juice. Would you be able to fight in the UFC currently? 100%.

No way. Usada would have you. You'd be pissing hot. You'd be burning cups. Not at all. For what, Maka? Well, but yeah. Mock is fine.

It's an herbal supplement. You'd think Mocker? BPS. My T's not even high. I know. My T's literally not more. You T's the highest. I got a spud with that this weekend.

What? I was like, you just had a kid. Your E is through the roof. and he immediately started smacking himself in the face and we had to be like, no, no, no, no, dude, that's high, that's high. Sorry, that was high tea. Self punch is a high tier response. He immediately went to the self punch.

He had been doing it against him. He started punching himself when I was like, you have too much estrogen. He was hitting us with some liberal talking points, so it was very fun to be like, dude, he is running wild. It's devastating. And he took it to heart. Yeah, that's the, it kills you. If you're over 40 white male and you get called a lib, it's, uh, fuck.

It sucks, dude. Pretty much a death sentence. It really is. I was really, I was, Kirby's conservative as fuck, dude. I know.

He's like quiet about it. Yeah, no, I mean, you know, you don't have to really answer. Oh, okay, yeah.

There's certainly, obviously, some conservative, you know, you ever see Imperium? No, I don't think so. With Harry Potter's like a neo-Nazi?

No, but I've definitely seen. It's hilarious. You should watch it. Boy, Daniel Radcliffe plays a neon-o-e- Yeah, yes,

I've definitely seen the clips of it. That's kind of nice. It's very insane. He hits some wild ones. He's like on a march. Yeah, I've seen it. Dang. He would not like you.

Oh, yeah. Do you think an actor that's serious though when he's playing that role goes full method? He did go full method. He doesn't know. You got to go 100%. If you're going to do that, you've got to rip the band-aid off. Just say it. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health,

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All right, here we go, Naf. Gerbys, what's going on with you? I'm sick. I got that two-week thing that Billy was saying he had. Oh, that's nice. That's nice to be able to say it's going around. I'm not the only one with the two weaker. Well, because I'd feel bad if I, but it really has been going on. Have you?

No, I've been in Texas. I've been safe from the plague. Oh, geez. But we have the whole allergy thing going on. So everyone's kind of sick. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, fucking blows. Gotcha.

I'm worried. I get it. I'm going to, I have to go to, like, Houston this weekend. I'm so worried. I'm going to get sick. I think it's PA that you got to worry about. Pennsylvania is. No, Texas.

Oh, really? Way worse. Oh. Oh, the cedar. With allergies? Oh, no. I meant with, like, what's going around. Yeah.

All the family. Billy had it. Your nicotine patch didn't work. No, it did. Viral. Shot. Shot. That's definitely a shot.

Your fucking nicotine badge didn't work. No, I was all the fan wagon. I was hoping it worked. I was dancing around. And then, like, a little baby came around. And I think that's who got me sick. And then I proceeded to call from my girlfriend's mouth accidentally.

And she got sick. And then everyone else in the house got sick. Damn. A baby came around when you were dancing? What was elaborated on that? You said you were dancing around? No, I was dancing around getting sick Oh, I thought you were dancing

Around and a baby came around You were kind of bug chase You were bug chasing That's what you said, I'm sorry When I talked to you, you were like, I want to see if I can get it I wanted to, yeah He was bug chasing all Christmas I'm kind of jealous you got it already

Right before filming it would have been nice But if you were gonna have it I think you would get it Because I think Grace had it I've literally been talking to you Nonstop for the last two days Yeah I'm gonna get it

No, but I'm saying Grace had it While you guys were in Europe Yeah So You want to talk about that? I don't believe it. You dodged the plague. You're in Europe.

No, everybody got the plague that I was with. Yes. Every single person. That's why I didn't fly back with them. The whole wedding got the flu. Pooping and coffee. And I was like, I'm not getting on that. So I went to London, dude.

I went to old London town. I went to the World Darts Championship instead. That's awesome. Fucking rock, dude. I was walking in a Littler Wonderland. It was only one. On the way back? It was turds on a plane.

It was turds on a plane. I was avoiding that. I'll stay in Europe for three days. I'm knocking on the third plane. What was that chance? That was like the Ricky Hatton. Yeah, it's the exact same one. It's the same one Ricky.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I remember buying into the fact that he could win. Oh, we all did. Mainly because he was a white guy. And then the fight started, we went, whoops. Ricky Hatton, Mayweather. He fought Floyd Mayweather.

And they made, like, it was like HBO did like the 24-7 leading out to it. And you're watching it like, dude, hat in my wind. Yeah. Although we've talked about before. I came back around when Floyd walked out to born in the USA. Okay. And I was like, what am I doing? That's kind of nasty.

I agree with him. Is Floyd undefeated? Yeah. It's kind of nasty. Yeah. He finished undefeated. He kind of ducked some of the big guys until they were old. But he was old too.

Yeah. But he fought him when they were all gized up. He was supposed to fight, what's it, Manny Pacio. Like forever. T-shirts. It's awesome. Pac-ya? Yeah.

Yeah, he's the man. His 24-7 was hilarious. That was awesome. It's just him. He would sleep in the hotel. He's Filipino. He would sleep in a hotel room with like 15 people. He would get like a hotel, like a nice hotel and put 15 people.

They'd be on every bar. I don't do it. What are you talking about? That is literally you. In a hotel room? Yeah. Let's bring 15 people into this. Oh, no.

I'm saying to go to bed. They would all sleep in there. I could see you doing that. And then he would sing karaoke in front of all of them. Very seriously. You'd set up versions of that. You show memes very serious. I show memes very seriously.

You would love karaoke. You would love karaoke seriously. Yeah. If our whole group of friends was gayer, you'd be the happiest guy on earth. Yes. He'd be so delighted. That's true. We're all like, I think, karaoke myself.

We're all like, let's just sing tonight, guys. We don't need alcohol or to go out. Let's just sit around and sing. You'd be so happy. You know, the one song that I read. really would like to get down. It's tough, but one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. It's pretty easy. No, because

it's like when he... You're saying to sing? Is that James... Or is that Thurgood? Yeah. Yeah. Can you sing what do you have so far? Well... It's good acoustics down here. No, no, because it's like that... Let's not... Let's just stop wasting time. You're going to sing it. Don't make me talk you into this. Let's just

do it. I mean... Let's just see where you're at, yeah. Well, but... Let's see. I forget... How's it starts? Like... Oh, yeah, he's like, I want to tell you a story about my house for him blues. You got to get a little more guttery than that. What? You got to get a little more guttery than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, guttery is a good word, actually.

I'll tell you a story. That's a little Hulk Hogan. Yeah. Now that the call for him blues. Yeah. Keep it going. Come on. I can't, I can't, see this is the problem.

I can't remember. Yeah, you need the lyrics. You need the lyrics. Yeah. Do the most. If you're doing Yoki, you need the lyrics for sure. History, look up the lyrics to One Bourbon, one Scotch, one beer.

I'm with this motherfucker here for the next three months every day. You've been good, too, you're two for two. Take out the cheaters. You're two for two so far on days. Too good, too good filming days? He has not been a little fucking baby once. Out of how many?

How many do we have down the plate? What do he considers being a baby is... 40? True. We should define terms. Yeah, what's the baby? Going like, how are you doing? And I go, and then that's the vibe.

You can't crush the vibe. You got to be like. When you're walking in in the morning, be like, you know, what's up? Kirby, Gerby babies. And he's like, oh. Shane, I'm not in the mood for your stuff today. And go, okay, well, now you're going to get the worst version. I learned my lesson.

Yeah, you get the vibes are a real thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You got to take a page from old black guys. They're the best at like in a morning, like, salutation. How you doing it's always like woke up today, didn't I? Yeah, I love old black guys in the morning, dude They hit you with the best

I did, yeah I basically had to do that in the shower this morning Yep I was being a baby I was like fucking gonna wink I'm barely eating It's like dude I'm making a show with my friends

Why are you this gay And you get out of the shower And you see your naked fat body I'm a big fat pussy Yeah What the fuck First thing in the morning Self loathing

And then getting out And seeing a tiny penis You go Jesus We gotta make some changes There's no way you have a tiny penis Real honest Ross. What the hell?

For real, see these chest pieces. See these chest pieces? They were whittled perfectly. I've been hit the cold plunge. I come back and take the shower. It's so, it's literally... I think it's my born penis. I get my, like, born penis.

Yeah. It's crazy, dude. Yeah, like, dude, for sure, coming out of the cold plunge. No problem. Just a pawn to be toppled. Did you get the lyrics? I did. I just... I thought we were past.

at home. Oh, we're not moving past that. You still have the Masters app. Yeah. You're not going back. No, I know. You're out. That was the, but you could, because you could watch, you know, it's actually quite a good app for. That's a review.

The Masters. The Masters app. For three days a year. I got a golf fantasy league if you want to join it. Yeah. Supposed. I'm not in it. I just was told it.

Fantasy League? $100, yeah. I don't necessarily know how you would do that. Do you just pick one guy? I've never done golf. I've seen people do it. Yeah, you get a couple guys. It's very interesting.

It depends how they... It's interesting. It's very interesting. That's interesting. I just never really heard of APEC. That's interesting. I never even thought about APEC. They're like, well, did you take money from it?

No, it's just interesting. The fact that you're bringing that up is very interesting. That was the best answer of all. The best politician... That was nice. Just non-answer was. Gavin Newsom. He's on a podcast

and they're like, do you take money from APEC? And he's like, what's APEC? Oh, APEC. It's interesting you bring that up. That was it.

They're like, why is it interesting? He's like, no, it's just interesting. Because I haven't heard about them. I thought about them forever. APEC.

Also, he's like bulletproof, honestly. It's kind of crazy. Yeah. He just walks through everything. Was at the French laundry during COVID

when everything was shut down. Then he pretended to be black with fucking the dude from the Pacers. It was like, you stack Wonderbread this high, so you never did that. Yeah, that's weird. Like, it's almost racist, how bad that lie. It's, you're just assuming all black dudey wonderbread.

Yeah, he was claiming, I think, single mother. He was claiming single mother household, which I think technically, he was rich. Yeah, it wasn't his dad. His dad was out of the picture. Pelosi's his mommy. No. She took care of them. She adopted them.

Yeah, but I think then he got into like the clone ads and shit. But I think before that, I think he was stacking the one. He's in like, like, his dad was like a doctor. or some weird shit. I don't think it's that tough on him, honestly. I like what he's up to. I think the first,

I think the first five years of his life I vote for Gavin, dude. I'm a little. I'm a liberal. He's the perfect politician, though. You got to give it to him. This episode, this episode is during the

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Get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks. It's good to be right. It's good to be right. Yes. Hey, guys, real quick, this weekend, I will be in Houston, Texas, and then Dallas, Texas. I'll be in Houston Friday night doing stand-up comedy, and I'll be in Dallas Saturday night doing stand-up comedy.

Tickets to Dallas? Solid. Thank you, Dallas. Tickets to Houston. Mm, they're lagging a little bit. So if you live in Houston and you'd like to go see me do stand-up comedy or you'd like to see me do stand-up comedy, please don't let the opportunity pass you by. If you don't want to, that's fine. I don't, you know, whatever. But come on. Yeah, he's bad.

Oh, you know what we could talk about, because I heard you talking about you talking about Trump dogs saying he doesn't have the juice anymore. He doesn't. You got to admit the last two weeks, the juice has been back. The video you showed me where he was. And I sent him to Matt, too. I can't believe how hard the juice is going. He was killing. The fuck.

I don't know how old it is. he's on the he's on the air force one you know how the reporters always talked to me stands like next to the bathroom yeah they were like uh evening on the wall they're like uh mr president what was the MRI you got for and he was like

I don't know it was an MRI I can tell you it was not for my brain because if my brain's working I just took a cognitive test and I aced it something you would be incapable of and they goes all right everybody see you later you too drills another reporter on the way up also I noticed I watched a clip hitting an Asian lady

with like your brain sucked And when he walked away, the 80-year-old guy is like, dude, you have all the confidence in the world. And the Asian lady, after he walked away, it was just like... Yeah. I think he's, like, becoming way too clear now, like, when someone's, like, about to die and, like, everyone's in the room, it's like, Shane, Kirby. He knows everybody. Yeah. Just sharp his attack, and it's just going to fucking collapse.

Dude, there's... The Venezuela thing got me back. Dude, the memes? The memes... Leading up to Venezuela, I was like, don't go to war. Dude, the last thing we won was a war. fuck all that. One meme of Takashi 69 being saying, took that

stold-ass shit. That's what I do as Trump. I was like, it. America rules. Take all their shit, do it. That's why they're like showing that. The tariffs. Did it work or not? There's definitely work. Everything. If it didn't work, they'd be talking about it. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that was the one thing. That was like

tariffs, we're sending us back 400 years of diplomacy and then you never heard another thing about it. So yeah, you're probably right. The tariffs worked. Venezuela, so far so good. People were mad. As soon as he was like, dude, we're making $400 trillion. Everett was like, fuck, dude. Stole that shit.

Yeah, that's what I do. They're shutting down, like, all the news stuff, too. Yeah. Because it just works. If Shane watches reels, it's pretty much like someone watching Fox News. Like, I'm up. Behind that, literally all I need. Show me a fighter jet reel.

I go, yep, play the macaroni and slow. Yeah. Play a slow version of the macarona. You horny for five seconds. Back to war. It's also. It's doing really good. Whoever's running that propaganda is fucking killing it

We have any Latin American country now Just like we had terrorism in the Middle East We can be like, yo, there's fucking selling cocaine We can go take their natural reason We have that locked for the next 10 years I will say Colombia's leader needs to shut the fuck up They chirping? Did you see it? Dude, as soon as they took Maduro

He was like, yeah, you won't do that to me, pussy? I hear what they did They turned the lights off They turned the lights off but then hit people with like fucking radio waves They kind of sick and bloody noses What? You have a Kavana syndrome?

Yeah, it was like debilitating shit where they were like, dude, there was 20 of them and 300 of us and it was a massacre. It's like predators versus like humans. It's so bad. They're usually like rushing. I mean, it is embarrassing. If I live in a country, they turned my lights off and took my president. I'm like, dude, you guys like, be like, no, we fought. It was a brutal fire.

Just like at least lie. No, we turned the lights out, turn it back on. We were the undertaker. It was literally the undertaker. The lights went out. The lights came back on. They were like, where is he? Fuck.

It's like being down the basement. Someone shuts the light on. It's so scary, dude. Think how scary it would be. It's so scary. She fled out of a few of you. Yo, who is it? Also, also on Air Force One, they're like, they're calling it to, they're not calling

into kidnapping and all that. And he's like, kidnapping. That's a good word. He's funny. I'm just saying he's funny about this. I agree that. He's funny and funny. You know, great move to make everyone forget about Epstein.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, true. And he's, and also, we need something big, man. Rush is on their, rushes on the offense. China is supposed to be on the offensive. We can't just sit on our hands. That might be probably. We got to take something.

What? Like I for real think that like Russian China are fucked up. Like China does, has less drinking water in Saudi Arabia. And they like didn't let people have kids for a long time. So like population. They're all right. Nah, dude.

2030. Yeah, 2030 those countries are going to get it. They can put all the boats they want. Dude, the people are fucking disappearing. And then no one wants to bang Chinese dudes. And the Chinese chicks are leaving. Wow, that's a tough one. You shriveled your bros.

Everyone in there is piss. They'll fucking go out swinging, though. If they have no pussy, and it's just like we got to ruin everyone else's time, that would be a crazy war. So I'll fucking kill myself. Just go and put yourself on somewhere. You're a Chinese village. No water, no pussy. Yeah, that's untenable.

I don't care how many sweet bridges are being filmed on YouTube. I'm going to be like, you know what? This bridge is really helping. It's a subway that goes through people's houses. It's like, yeah, because they can't say no. Somebody just went through a fucking skyscraper. And everyone else had a... I've never gotten sold on the China hype.

The propaganda, that's the one propaganda that really doesn't work on me. I'll watch like a drone footage of like a city with neon lights. You're like, this looks like shit. And they're also like, oh, man, we might go to war with China. It's like, all right, if we have, if we do, we do. If I have to, I will. They just last a six-year-old guys. They will last a second around us.

No, yeah, it's crazy. You keep fucking... They might cut off your steroids, though, if you talk... Me? The Chinese fucking... The rhino pills, you're snorting. I'm herbal, bro. You'd have to get India to take my Ashwaganda.

The Middle Eastners would take my Shilagia. I'm all herbal. They're saying I'm on steroids. I'm on all natural enhancers. I completely believe you. Oh. Thank you. Don't be rude.

What? Don't be rude. I'm complimenting... I'm complimenting the man, genuinely. I'm saying you look like you're on juice. You go, oh, I can't be rude. Completely believe you're not on juice. That's fucked up.

Because he would be honest with it. If there's one person that would be like I'm doing it. It's like the ring, dude. Appreciate that. Yeah. People start taking steroids and they get real weird, dude. They won't tell anyone. They're like, no, it's natural.

It's natural. Yeah. Interesting. Everyone who does steroids. Not now, though, dude. The gym I go to. I sit in the sauna and all the bros are like, they just like make fun of each other. They'll be like, I don't know.

They're like, take a cycle, you fucking pussy. It's pretty funny. Enlarge your heart. I heard cla. Who was the guy clavicle? Clavicular. Apparently, allegedly, he's been on TRT since 14, and he smashes his jaw with a hammer every day to get micro fractures or gets a big... He's looks maxing real hard.

What? Apparently, he's a guy he's... He's looks maxed. Like, since he was 14... How close were you to considering it? Oh, were you a part of looks maxing? He'll do anything to do it. Thought about it for anything to be part of the looks maxing.

If looks maxing... He looks maxes on set. He looks maxes on set. You look max on set. Would you wear... When we're filming, he looked mad. He wears fucking platform shoes. I don't wear platform shoes.

He does. That is... He does. You'll see them. That is so... What is that? You saw them. No, these are gigantic. How big would you say you're the soul of your Buddhist?

You know what? They're echo... Just give us one of these. They're echo shoes. Your rocket echoes, bro. Yeah, they're very comfortable. What? Where'd you get her from?

The $23 store? Hey. Chesh or there's a place. We're filming. We're me and him are doing scenes. I'm going... Hold on. You can do this.

You can do this. Sho shoes. What? There used to be a place in Chester where every sneaker is $23, and that's probably where they saw it. Where'd you get Echo shoes? Echo, like the one with the Rhino on? That's your Echo. That's like seventh grade bad cute clips. No, no.

The Echoes rebrand, so you can go mother's shoes. If they have rebranded. He's wearing the Shacks. Smote sweet in fourth grade. So Echo is for like the baddest. Bro, you know, how sick would it be if he started wearing like Echo hoodies? Like the red one? Dude, that'd be so sick.

CCO. I was first down. Matt had an echo. No, I was first down. I didn't first down. There's a thing called first down. Yeah, first down was this shit. I used to have a big first down bubble jacket.

It was nasty zelle. Was that like the starter jacket? The first day, it was Echo First Down. They were like knock off. They were like knockoff. It was like bad day clothes. Yeah. South Pole.

South Pole. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's fucking nasty zeal. Yeah. Lugs, shoes. Uh, you had it. They were like knock off. You were swagged out.

I did have lugs. Lugs are nasty. For Catholic school, yeah. Yeah, they're per... Yeah. I would wear timulins. I had P. Miller's shoes for a while. That's where I had the $23.

Oh, shit. I got P. Miller's soldiers. Damn. They fell apart very quickly. So you have the Echo boots right now. No, they're not boots. They're just loafers. They're loavers that are, for real.

The heel is definitely that thing. It just couldn't be further from shoes. I'll take a picture, and we'll add it to this. It might be a seven-meter. You know, it's not ideal. But the last year, because I wore work boots. Yeah. And he was like, you're trying to heighten.

No, no. He tries to heighten. Literally what I would wear. He got his shirts tailored. They tailor them. Yeah, they tailor yours. No. Yes, absolutely.

No, they tried to. And I said, no, just give me that one. Okay, well, it's because your stuff fits you, but I have that weird body. She's sort of like hangs over my hands. My body's nuts, dude. What? So, anyhow. I said to me like, don't, you know, I want baggy clothes this year and it's very in style.

The baggie looks nice on you, honestly. All right, thanks. Yeah. So, and then I got flat shoes and then he, to him, there's still platform shoes. They're not. I'm so excited to show you guys a picture of these fucking boots. I can't wait. I got accused of hype maxing on stage by an old lady.

Really? I had the hook. I had the hoax on and I was like talking about expensive purses and she had an expensive. I didn't even notice. And she, like, got mad at me for bringing up a disdive. designer bags and how much they cost and she was like well you don't get your shoes your knockoff shoes make you look taller i was like they're not hookas they're not knockoffs i was like she was talking about my tiny penis if you want to hurt my feelings you know i had to kick out like a 65 year old lady

i felt terrible started to cry wow no she started to missed it up so it's like she's trying to say you're stealing hide valour you got to put her down yeah she could there's nothing she can say to hurt me though i was like yeah i'm short girls hate it you got to go on one of those don't have to do You gotta go on one of those podcasts I'm sub six What are you, 511? 5.10? 5.12?

No, what? Sub 6. I'm a piece of fucking trash. You're not a piece of trash, man. I'm sub 6, dude. That could be why you're juicing as hard as you are. Why, I guess I'm subs in there. You have to juice.

You must be clanging and banging in there. Sub 6, if I get a girlfriend, best believe it's an abusive relationship. That's the only way I can keep a girl. Fuck, yeah. Psychologically abusive relationship. That's the only way as a sub 6 I can keep a girl around. I see that one Instagram every now and then.

What's that? If you leave, you're hurting her. The guys that are, like, for real, fucked up the girls. That's wild. It's nice. What do you say if you leave, you're hurting? Like, there's like, if you leave right now,

you know I'm the only person that loves you. Everyone talks shit behind your back. I say that the fucking Jeep was all the time. I was like, this is why everyone talks shit behind your back. That's a good move. I'm going to get into that Instagram content of, like, just making things, like,

like, a girl's leaving, like my impassioned thing to keep her say. Like that British guy that screams? Yeah. That shit rules He's gonna mistreat you She's tired She's had enough She can't keep working like this

That's the gerby baby What's it? What do you up to boys? Let's talk about Your square dancing What? Let's talk about square dancing Square dancing sure

We can talk about Blind days You should see this guy You're an eager beaver out there My what? Your Neager Beaver out there Yeah I made one thing and then

Shane got all the other Hold on one second But I was going to say about The Instagram Reels Which because I said to do the thing Mine was like Genuinely I think

I mean it was It was sending me stuff as if I was a girl Why? Yeah Because I was you know like I entered The dating pool again Of course For sure

And then I like immediately Like this person He is splashing Was that you got in a dating pool You can't balled into that fucking thing. So, and then I suppose I was just like, he's making a wave on certain videos.

And it's just like, girl, if he doesn't blah, blah, blah. It's like a bunch of stuff like that. What? Yeah, it's kind of funny. Yeah, that's awesome. My favorite thing to do at work now is to show Kirby's brain rot. Yeah. He hates it. He has no idea what it is. I just hold it. I showed him like

Crocadero, Bommadero, and he's just I just don't get what's funny about this. Yeah, it's terrifying. It's funny. I don't actually think it's funny. I don't actually think it's funny. do think it's funny. It is funny. Did you ever see the videos and they showed the homeless people? I swear to God it's this.

He's like, what's his name? Why's that out getting to wear his shoes? Hey. So the dating pool right now? Yeah. Back in apps. He heads down to the honky talk. Yeah.

And he's learned of the moves. He knows the dances. Dude. That's the way to do it, though. Like crazy. Yeah, line dancing is a ton of fun. Yeah. That's the way to do it.

Yeah. Can you grind? Can I, what? Do you grind on the girls during the line? dancing. No, no, hands on hips, I guess. Oh, no, no, no. It's not much. It's just like you're next to him. Yeah, yeah. What's the one where you lay on the floor and do paddy cake? I don't know. You guys all sit on the floor across from each other. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember that? Yeah. What is that? I truly don't know. That's your favorite one. You like that. You pair up with a pretty girl. It was nice. I was jealous

watching that. How do you send a message? What is that mean? To like a woman that you're line dancing with. How do you go? Hey, just take this to the next level. Oh, you, I mean, eye contact. I think you just razzler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're dazzling on the floor. Afterwards, you go try and get a drink and just say, what's going on? Even, darling, darling.

Yeah. That's nice. Stay how old. That's good, clean fun. It's really fun. Have you ever gone? I've never run line dancing. I've salsered a bit in my day.

Okay. I have salsa to college. That's crazy. It was psychotic. So sick. Salsa is crazy. He would love salsas. That's what I'm saying.

You got line dances all right. Salsa is just purely sexual. But, right, but I need a partner. Dude. No, you can get you can go Stas and the salsa. You find plenty of partners line days. Dude, it's all grunched.

True. Line dance. It was crazy. Yeah, you can get a million. Salsa is all girls. If you show up and you're a guy, they'll definitely sauce it with you. Okay. And you'd wear a salsa outfit.

I know you. You would definitely get into the fully. He'd have an odd button. I do do that. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a cowboy hat now. And boots.

Yeah. You got two? There's another one? Well, because the first one, everybody says this is a cowboy hat. What do you mean? It's a Stetson open roader Six-X It's like Bobby Caldwell wears

I don't know So what is this What is it like rounder on the top What do we talk about? It's not rounder It's like cowboy at the top It's only about four inches Yes

It's like a fedora No no no no no it's like the governor cap No he doesn't Yeah yeah he doesn't wear it in public He goes home He puts it on and he talks to his cat He goes get along little doogie And he goes home

And wears it in front of the mirror full real. That'd be Steve Gine. Yeah. So it's Cowboy Short Brim. And nobody just said that looks awful. So then I ordered... Yeah, 10 gal. What's that? 10 gallon.

Right. Get a giant one. So I got a regular one. And then everybody said that looks like a cowboy hat. So now I wear that one all the time. Have you wanted it in the staff? In public? Not in public. Still at your house. Golf course? I wear it at home and then I mentioned it but like when I work out like always. No.

God damn it There's something about dressing up like a cowboy I swear to God I went to a Western theme party I put the gear on and was like I understand A cowboy had You went a wife feeding

A cowboy hat It worked out of that I mean it's a home gym What music are you playing Uh So it's 10% skill 20% Fort minor

There's a if you You're like ripped from Yellowstone Bro What is that? Rip? Is that what he does? He's a badass in Yellowstone Yeah

I need a picture of this So, uh, Tank Top Cowboy Hat workout. The one song that I really like What a fifth grader would do. That's insane. Look, it is what it is.

It's true. It's how my brain likes to do it and I'm doing it. All right. Because I, it's stand for something or fall for anything. I'm behind you, I'm behind you. Yeah.

I recognize the how big of a douche I look at that kid. No, no. I think it's fun. I think it's nasty. You're kind of shredded, so. Yeah. I don't, I don't know.

What are you hitting? Pull ups. So like, what are you hitting in the hat? Yeah, he's rips pull-ups. Yeah, I have a pull-up bar and then, but it's a cable machine. You know, like with two? Belflex? No.

No, but you're hitting, you're just going. Hitting those things. What is the jam? What are you listening to? So there's a line dancing song called Fake ID. Damn. From the movie Footloose, which I think your friend was in Miles Teller. Oh.

Yeah, the remake. Nice. And I could do that entire dance. It's advanced. I can do it. Well, yeah You Please

No, not here No, no Not right now I mean Nothing You're right Proper gear on it Shane, I promise you

Before the show's over I'll do it for you What was the song? Fake ID Is it You can watch it on YouTube So the workout is You're playing the song

And so are you like Willeth thing And then hitting the Hit the numbers real quick Yeah That's nice I I see more people in the gym

Who hit like dance moves Like Corriein Dance moves now It's not a guy. That's the song? Yeah, this is a song. Hey? Who's driving on the world?

That's awesome. Oh, yeah. You know it's good. I can't believe you're wearing a tank top, but the cowboy hat, listen to that. Yeah? I like where you're at. I'm just envious. Here's the question.

You're free. You're free, man. Truly free. Say, you know, you hit the square dance, bring a cheekie back home from the thing, would you play some line dance while you guys are getting freaky? Why would that be the soundtrack? We've been discussing this as well. What? Music?

Well, he's not afraid to hit the red light. He's got a red light. He'll turn on a red light. That's awesome. In his bedroom for sex. And then... Treat it like an Amsterdam. Have you never tried? Have you as... I could get into colored lighting. I'm not going to lie. I'd be sick. And then he's not afraid to hit some nine-inch nails. Nine-inch nails.

Well, something like it. Yeah, okay. You're like aggressive stripper music. But hold on a second. There's a larger conversation. Ninth stales is surprising. I'm not going to lie. Nine of his house is terrifying, dude.

You actually hit nine inches. You're coming out from the bottom of the bed and the red light, nine inch nails. I don't want to. For real, sleep for houses. Sleeper. I don't know. Monster.

That's like. I actually read a book on how to eat your pussy just later. No, nine inches left. I got to remind you. So like, I got to go cough. Yeah, go ahead. Because I left that book out.

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Oh, God, dude. Hold on. You got to hear this. We're doing a... We're filming some at his house, so they did, like, a location scout to check his house out. And he's sick as fuck. George. He left his How to Eat Pussy Book out, open on the couch, on the couch.

So when the whole crew and cats... No. He should have said he was joking. Yeah. He said he was in his room while they were looking because he's sick. and then they told me they heard him Oh my God They told me they heard him go

Shit He came out and grabbed his eating pussy book And they said it was on like They said it was like five pages left Which means he was reading it When somebody rang the doorbell I was like oh Hello

Hey God We need the book It's called She Comes First He sent me passages It's a disturbing read What? She comes first Written by a man or a woman.

It's got to be written by a woman. I used to watch all that shit. On YouTube, I would just say how to make out the girl, how to grind. Yeah. For any dancers, trying to get as much as I could in the novel. No, I remember Ian Kerner wrote it. So, dude, it's probably she comes first. That is a papaya.

The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, you're a Thinking Man. So, yeah, explain. I want to know the- It's utterly humiliating. No, dude, who, who, who? wouldn't want to know more about, you know. No, but everybody, when everybody came over, because I had clean me, these warehouse was clean. Yeah.

Except for like that book on my couch. That's a statement. It was a real statement to the rest of the cast or the crew. The whole crew saw it. This guy means business. That's a thinking man that's ready to eat some butt. First thing I said to them, I said, I'm so sorry, don't tell Shane. He even, he all told me every single person.

Do you hit him with a rodent where you're just like this? We're thinking of it. Class of thinking of it. I mean, you never really thought to rest your hand. on your chin, that would be ultimate support. I would have learned that as like, it invaded you this whole time. What has like evaded you that you got from this book?

That positioning is very important. Both of you need to be physically, your bodies need to be comfortable because you're in it for the long haul. It's like welding. Yeah. Oh, the buildup, the buildup sort of stuff. Yeah. And then like, what?

Yeah, I was at. What's the buildup? Like, I would just go, originally, I would just go. straight foot. You go right in. Like a hungry dog. Yeah. They put the food bowl out.

You go, right. Now, you know, you got to be. Oh, yeah. The trough comes out. Get to it. Yeah. It's happening.

And then just understanding that you could like, you can use your gum to create pressure on the top, like not the clearest itself, but the top of the clearest. Gets. Gum? Yeah, like your top gum.

So you could create, you could create pressure there. I dog. By the top. sucking on it? No. Explain this. You're putting your gum. Like pinning it down a little bit. Yep, you're pin it down and then you're using

your two fingers which I can't do which is it kills me. No, it's okay. You got one wild one. Yeah, so you but you can then like, you know, put pressure on the like the G spot from under as you're like

create pressure down with your gum and then it's over. Yeah. It's over. Yeah. It's over. She can't go anywhere And fucking I want to fuck you like an animal Hold on Oh wait, hang on

So I don't play nightish nails What do you buy? Well So there was one song That I found very sexy I had been on like At only fans You know

This person I had Subscribary fans Yeah What's that? Lonely fans I was a lonely fan Subscriber to this woman Yeah

She has since Deleted her Not that she got out She found out You turned her straight Yeah, it was good Wait, so what was she playing? What was the soundtrack? The song was, so then I shazammed it.

That, dude, how crazy is this? He told me that he shazammed while only fancing. While jacking off to only fans. While jacking off. Oh, you're just perusing. Well, I had jacked off to it. You had already finished. And then you said, what's the name of that song?

There's a certain point you go, you know what? What was that song? Fair enough. It was called Bent? Or no, wait, was that the name of the band? Yeah, it was called Ben. by something German Dyerware for Sirewall

No, no, no, no. Beer is... Is it like Duhoss? Duhoss is what? Yeah, I mean, it's got the vibe. It's got the Ninesdale's vibe. I got you. It's like that, like industrial kind of metal. Yeah, yeah. So, so then

I tried one time to, like, have sex to it. But the timing of it. Like, a song like that, you know? Also, the combo, like, damn, what did you hear about the song? You'd have to be like, Oh, yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't. Because you tell her, you examined it from the overreleason. Yeah. There's, I can't find a bent. Oh.

No, man. The guy has sex as squid game. It's not this. That's not it, yeah. I kind of like that. I like, hop really quick into the sex.

You know what I've seen on the plane a lot? I've been seeing older women with like mega big font reading erotica on the planes. It's all they read. All the time. Yeah. And it's like teleprone. I was, I was looking over the lady next to me today.

Licked wood, or liquid. L-I-C-H-W-O-O-D. So like German? Yeah. Liquid. Oh, there you go. That's more like techno. That's more like techno.

Lowrider. I'm going to get the good part. Yeah, true. Because it's like a... I was like when they get the bad guys in John Wick. Oh, wait, wait. That's the drop. Bro, this is like,

Red light shit. You're mad, bro. This is a real goon. You know that's sexy? What? You're out of control. I forget what they're called. That's a thing.

That's like Gooner music. It's what? Gooner music. I'm a gooner. Yeah. It's like battle faps and stuff. They'll do it to like shit like that. I read a whole article.

It's like me and you would be like, you're about to watch. You can last longer. And then you just battle fap your. You're a guner. friend. Oh, wait. Am I, what's a Gooner? Gooner's like,

Gooning's like, it's hardcore ending, it's hardcore, it's like if you were to get your basement and was that a compilation video? Oh, no, not a gooder. Was that a compilation video you were watching that song? That? Yes. No. No. It wasn't like a compilation video of her.

No. So it was just her masturbating that song. It wasn't one of those like follow the metronomes. Yes, like cissy hip-hast. No. The metronome kind of slaps, honestly. I'll give a shot for a minute. Then I go, what the part of this? We've all tried, dude.

Don't, no lie. The metronome? Don't even worry. We can't give you the metronome. You'll be too powerful. I've seen it. I was going to be too powerful for it. You never tried it one day?

No. Oh, yeah, fuck. Yeah. It is tough. Then you realize you're teasing yourself and you go, I got to stop. This is kind of ridiculous. Just a call back to my favorite episode you guys ever did with the Q plus one when you were

talking about porn and you you because you were accusing him of look at it really and then you're like what do you watch and you were like J.O.I and you go that's an appetizer bro. You gotta have a warm up fuck yeah it's an appetizer bro

I mean shazaming a fucking only fans video is impressive and it's impressive I wouldn't think it's impressive well because I saw you know the sexy thing and I was like yeah you're a replica Yeah. Copy paste.

Yeah. The best, the best porn video, and I've never seen anything like it ever again, there's a guy out there who just lets women, no, there's women hump his butt with their vaginas, and he claims to give them multiple o's from them humping his butt with their vaginas. I was like, I was one, that was one where I literally turned the porn off and went upstairs. I was like, I'm not sure. I'm not.

I like, saw it and laughed. I was like, I'm done. I can't. Yeah, it's hilarious. But yeah, he's just like this musly man He just sits there and chicks just hump his butt With the vaginas He's like, it's titled will be like

She came twice and I was watching like, wait, what? I think this guy's begging for it He's going, I'm not gay I just like somebody humping my butt Like a woman humping my butt and coming I bet that feels good You having a badge smash you? Yeah

It's probably not bad Probably tickles a little honestly Yeah A mad A badge? He's not a badge Smash. Heaven ladies of John.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something to think about. Something to consider. I think I'd seen that guy, though, but not from that. Not at the golf course? No. Where'd you see him? Well, because, like, come twice is like one of my fetishes.

Oh, geez. Why? You got to be whank battling someone. No. No, no. I just, is that not a... Well, first of all, it is a fit. There was a whole subreddit for that.

Like twice? Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. It's fine. What's that? A man or a woman? Man. Oh, there's something wrong with him.

Yeah, because it's like so good that he premature and then they keep going. Yeah. Right. But, and it's just like a really tiny, mussely guy that got, uh, I shouldn't call him tiny. But yeah. And he would just get dry humped. This, yeah, dude, that's how I fell into the video. Okay.

I was watching the guy get dry humped. And I was like, all right. Then if you kept, if you kept following that. there would have been like a lady You follow the trail You were right there All you're gonna do is dunk your head underwater And you would have saw him

That's the next video Talk my head underwater That's so crazy We have I forgot it was from dry hoping That's what it was The Gooners round table The Gooniverse

Two overlaps of my fetish eye Or whatever Furnish eye You know the The gooners United What's the last time I'm used bro

been a little bit But crazy right now I'm telling he's been a little bit Texas does cure the sickness You go down there There's not a lot There's not a lot that be had It's like we can find it

True Dude Guter blood out You'd sniff it out I'm kidding It's really kind of a It's like emergency FAP anymore So he would scan his face

As soon as he got off the plane As soon as the plane lay in the airport Going It's got no shit The government can know exactly what I think. Just call the capital thing. I've touched down. Here's my idea.

No, dude, I forgot. That's how it started. It was dry-humping. Yes. Because the whole... Which comes from a panty job fetish. Yeah. Yes.

Hold on a second. Hold on a second. What's a pant-job? Panty job. I got you. This is like the Belmar, brother. This is crazy, dude. So Penny Jobs, it's a whole world of ass jobs slash outercourse.

Sure. This is what? It ruled. No. The what is going on? Slash. Unexpected sex, which is not as aggressive it sounds like. But, basically, how are you doing all of this and line dance?

So. You should see how horny is on the dance floor, bro. It's fucking crazy. What, girl? Okay. So anyway. But, you should, anyway. But, well, I'll do this and then we can have that out.

Okay. So, if you, like a real planned version of this would be Mano Job, which is... Bro, I'm not kidding. You're hurting our show. Oh, my man. Don't wait. Explain. Well, I'm just saying anybody wants to know what we're talking about.

Right. The easiest way to find this is through Mano job. It's where there's supposed to be hand jobs. Mano. I think man, this is Mono is Latin for hand. Oh, so mono job, my dad. It doesn't matter.

I was going to hold your feet to the flames for that one. Not going to Latin root. But the general ideas. What's the etymology of panty job? It's supposed to be, it's only supposed to be a hand job or a blow job or like a little grind session, but she gets so into it that, oops, you know, like slides in a little bit for a little bit. That is.

It's a painy job is when you stay outer course, but you're kind of, it's like between skin and the panties, and you're kind of like hitting that gap. Yeah. It's not bad. I didn't know the name for it, but yes, I've indulged. Yeah. It's incredible.

It's incredible. Yeah, it's a really great video. I've indulged. It's great. And so this guy, sometimes it's outside, and it's a lady in a sundress. She just lifts it up. Exactly. It's a nice time.

Yes. They're kind of going belly to belly standing. Am I right? I know exactly. You're talking about Carrie Light. What? You know her name? Probably.

What did you just say? Carrie Light. Is that her? That is a late. that's on the ex-way. Well, I need to know this because I've been looking for this fucking lady. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I saw it years ago. I have a lost panty job video that haunts. I can never find it. It was, I was like, got to remember that. I woke up the next day, and I was like, it's gone. Yeah.

Do you want to describe it to me? And I never, you might have reached the goon state. What did you say? I do think I'm probably like in the top one to two percent of penny job. Of those videos, yeah. And I'm not proud of that.

I mean, I think it's pretty creepy. I don't think it's not that bad of that. You're just, you know, interested. Penny job's not bad. It's when you, like, Penny Job's so innocent, and then you see the muscle guy getting humped in the butt by girls.

Yeah. What? I've been clean since February. Hey, Bill, take it easy, man. Clean since last February? I haven't jerked off since last February. Wow. All right, cool.

Oh, you haven't even jerked off. Congratulations on your. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, well, it must be nice, dude. Yeah. Must be nice. That's what Shane hit me with the freight.

Right. It happened. My wings have been clipped so many times. Oh. I've gone no. masturbation, no porn, and my wings have been clipped so many times. I've been flying, and then they just, I crash right back to the ground. Dicrous.

That happens. It's fine, you know. It's not wrong with it. No. I don't beat myself up about it. Gotcha. Loud and clear. So, Gervis, you're saying your top 1% horniest guys?

You are one of the... I regret saying that. I just think that... It's not horrious guys. And what I meant was like that style of video Because there was a whole subreddit You've been locking it down How long have you been holding it down?

For years Oh really? You found your thing Yeah, yeah Do you have an old account? No Oh, you just go anonymous browsing What did you mean by that?

Like I Do you have a Reddit just set up For you to watch porn? No, I just have my regular Just rock it Yeah, but it's not like I Yeah, you don't care You don't have like a public

Yeah, I'm trying to get like Reddit car Don't you? Right You're not commenting. No. Okay. You promise? Like, I commented, like, not on...

Get information different. Not on pool. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, you're not commenting on, like, the shit you're jerking. No, no, sorry. I would say a comment to get information about a starlet, is fine. She's beautiful.

What's her name? Has anyone actually seen her face? That's a great comment. Name? Yeah, if you're information foraging, that's an acceptable comment. Yeah. That's where I think you might be like... She'd have bottom 10%

Because there's dudes commenting No, I was just saying insofar as like The type of video Yeah, okay, yeah No, it's always nice when you hear somebody knows What you're talking about in terms of something like that Yeah, yeah Because rarely do guys get to have conversations like this dude

We're in the, you know We're in my man cave dude Pool table sitting around talking jizz That's what it's all about The camera setup's nasty It's nice That new 8K Spotify is going to love it

Spotify is going to go damn these boys blessed us again the dogs playing poker painting it does Spotify's going to fafo bro chill you're gonna what chill fofo I don't know

dude he's trying to ruin arms boomers no oh my god there's boomers that like are going against like the ice people protesting and they're like scream at them and the guys like saying like oh Trump and these like gender coppins get around them and steal his glasses but he's like

55, 60. He starts to run and just falls. Like, each shit. Falls ass up, dude. He slides on all fours with his ass up. Like, face across. Dude, the worst fall you can imagine. Like, it looks AI. The type of

fall. You're like, people don't fall like that. This is fake. What sign falls like what side of is you on? He was like, he was like, he was walking through a protest and he was like, fucking queer. And a kid steals his glasses. Falls ass up. I saw that. He got back up

Then a dude kicked his legs out again. He just went like face first into a curb, man. Like a huge gash and had no idea what the fuck was going on. Still trying to fight that. Go home, man. Everyone needs to go home on those things. Time to go home. Too dangerous.

That's how all boomers will die. Just walking by, brother. That's queer. Yeah. I fucking beat the shit out of you guys. You're lucky I don't just get a heart attack. They're so frail, brother. Clear the cul-de-sat, pussies.

Like, boomers have not ran in 30 years. Yeah. If you try to start running? It's over for that. Yeah. If you go from no exercise to like political vines. Yeah. Fist fight.

Yeah. A wrestling match and a fist fight, you're dead. Equilibrium is probably like real fucked up. Bro. Yeah. That's been my take from all the fights. It's like, go home, dude. No one's built for this, dude.

Stay home. Hit it on Facebook. All caps on Facebook. Yeah. Stay in your space. Hit them on Facebook. Do not take it to the streets right now. At least let the weather get nice, chill it.

It is too cold. Freezing, dude. That guy was in his glory, though. first. He was so happy. Yeah. Then he took it to the streets. You gotta just let the people take your glasses. You gotta just go. Yeah, you got my glasses.

Yeah. I fell up with his leg. Yeah, knees kind of out. Also, I met. Dude, imagine, though, if you're crushing Fox News all day, every day and the fucking lib protesters hit your block, there's... I think Fox is trying to get us into

some Iran right now. I think we're back on it. Oh, really? Because they're having protests and we're like, we're with you. We're with the protesters. We didn't start this. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, there's protests for like a regime change. That's all you got to do. Dude, say our name. Say it one more time. Yeah, true. We're candy, man. Say regime change three times in a mirror.

Columbia, I'm telling you, they got two more. Bogota? They made a mistake. I mean, dude, here's the thing, though. Do you think Venezuela's going to kind of boss up since they have all this investment getting poured in? If I was a president of Columbia, too, I think you won't fucking and poor billion dollars in my bunch of pussy? Tell me what they were doing.

They went through hyperinflation in like 2016 and then all these like doctors and shit were getting paid like 50 cents a day doing CAPTCs to train AI to get smarter. Because like AI has a hard time doing like how many buses are in the squares. So like these people just got like decked with hyperinflation and then start doing capses all day long

for like food pretty much. Yeah. It's a tough deck. Cards get dealt. That is. It is a tough one. I stand with my Venezuela people Me too

I'm liberal I'm liberal I'm liberal Yeah I guess I guess the lives Do you stand with Venezuela You want to build the wall No I don't

No I don't dude Don't even fucking joke about that I'll fucking beat your ass Girore I just went to a fucking crazy showing for a house Where? Yeah this is wild Down down

Oh man I was like going through I was fucking sick And then like we're going through it And then the garage is awesome But like on the floor of the garage and like these red letters was 14 a lightning bolt 88

I was like no one knows what this means really yeah is that SS oh yeah it's 14 is like the letter the 14 words they live by an 88 Hill Hitler damn he was a proud white man what on the ground

proud lightning open house also using zillow yeah just a beat of yeah it is funny that Nazis still have to do all that yeah my house's on fucking true zillow fucking bullshit checking your Zestimit too on Zillow and going like seeing it goes down you're like

start looking around like where are they who am I going to blame for this oh never mind I remember I remember who's fault this is 50,000 ever asking yeah fuck it damn yeah that's pretty that's

I mean borderline exciting you never really see stuff like yeah you never see an actual I knew of somebody I knew of somebody who was in like a long-term relationship with this guy and like it got pretty serious and then they finally realized this guy by night would be online like full white

supremacy. Yeah, Cardo 42. And they had to like break the relationship. They were dating for like years and the relationship broke up. She got the chat logs? Hmm? She got the chat logs. I think logged on the computer maybe thinking like is there any hos in this house and it was just straight up like, we must present her for the future for the way. He was like, God, damn.

Jeez. I love that. Natty. I think it was just like working by day and then, you know, by night. He was trained by day. He was trained by day. It's literally everybody on the internet who comments on shit. Wouldn't shape my fucking face. It's just so funny to like, you know.

I don't know what you're laughing at. Liver King's literally going to break through this window. I hope he does, dude. How are you talking like this? Put me on my misery. Nah, Liverer King would respect that, bro. If you knew you were close to suicide, he would probably hit you with the ancestral tenants and build you up.

It's the kind of guy he is, for real, honestly. I like Liver King. I wish he never lied, that's all. You can see him in front of the crumble, cookies with fucking like swinging at a club and shit. I like that. Cromwell Clove Clove Cuckees is so bad for you. Cromwell Cromwell. That's why Livert King's out there with a club.

He went to Waterburger one time with his sons and got like a crazy ass meal. Got like 50 burgers. Clip it. Joke World. Joke world. Joke world. Billerick went to Waterburger and got a crazy ass man. You got to see the clip. He's fucking crazy. He said he was going to teach his sons how like normal people go out to eat. That was like 50 burgers, 20 fries, milk shake. sodas.

Yeah, like me, sophomore year. The high school, dude. And the boys will go. Baconator. It's not just liver king. There's a couple of bros out here right now stopping people from going in

a fast food places and they offer you 100 bucks. You're going to the Taco Bell, they'll give you 100 bucks. I'll fucking walk home. Get out of my way. Give me a cheesy gorditi. I love that. Does you see a lot of people? They see the hunter and they go no, give a fucking

Taco Bell. Also, you have it on the mine. So you go. If you're in the parking lot of Taco Bell, almost nothing can stop you. You've driven there? I know. You're going in. It's just funny you watch it. You go, nah.

Nah, stop it. I'm going to eat this. I love cheese and gordita crotch. I love. I try to get one of mechanics where I left after going to the racetrack. They fucked my odor out. Oh, really? What happened?

They gave me rabbit food. I was just like, whatever. Probably better off not getting it. What was it? Tomatoes and lettuce on the cheese. Bro. How do they forget the meat? I've known people that's happened to a McDonald's.

get a burger? I think they had meat as well. They had meat. They had everything. He just doesn't like vegetables at all. Oh, they put the... Pick it off. I agree.

It's a cheese to go to eat it. You got this Supreme. They gave you the Supreme. Cole. True. Didn't take off tomatoes. You guys should have... I don't even want to bring it up.

The line dancing. Oh, okay. It makes me sad. All right. Well, if it makes you sad, yeah, it's... I've told them both already. Oh, okay. Good.

Way you rushed in. the room and pushed a girl out of the way to dance next to your sweetheart hey she she she she was very very pretty she's really pretty but uh you know he shoved a woman out of the like literally and the woman wouldn't hold on what was that it couldn't be further from the truth are you sure did i shove a woman out of the way yeah no did you put your hands on her no you never touched her Absolutely not I watched you touch her Okay

You were like literally like Could I imagine a scenario where you You boxed her out physically boxed her out Okay started dancing while kind of said you You're not you Well hold on Because further from the truth Further from the truth is crazy

The way that you phrased it I didn't like it It makes it sound boxed out instead of shoved Yeah And dancing while boxing out a little going, come on. No, it's not that. Again,

we can't have this conversation because you get too upset by it. Everyone saw it. Okay. We could bring down a witness. We could bring down two witnesses right now. There was lady in the way. And he was dancing with a very pretty girl.

Let's address what's actually happening here. Which is, I'm the only one dancing. So Shane wants to go to watch me to find a reason to get upset by what I'm doing. No, I was very excited for you and I was happy for you. Honestly. I was happy for you. for you the entire time. That's a bully.

It's, it was, what was going on? There's nothing I was going to do that wasn't a foul under the guise of scrutiny. Yeah. Because that's what he's there to do. No, I was there to drink and have a good time. Which is watching me. Watching you dance. Yes. Yeah, but you like dancing. So what's

the problem? I like watching you dance. Because you're watching to make fun of me. Oh, no, no, no. Yes. I was excited to see your moves. And you had good moves and I was saying, damn, Steve, you're pretty good at this. Okay, fair enough. If it is, so Anyway, I was excited I had two dances I knew how to do

One of them came on I boxed out one of our colleagues To dance with this pretty woman And he called me out He was right, I shouldn't have done it It was the line right in front of us So it was like from me to you I was sitting down

I watched Steve come running back From the bar with two drinks Because he went to get us drinks The song started playing while he was at the bar So he was in a hurry to get back Because he wanted to show this lady the moves Which I understand then he comes running back

puts him on the table since he left somebody filled his spot in the line dancing so the only place he could go to get next door is to push that person out of the way and I knew he was going to do it and I sat there and watched him put the drinks down and started to

shove a girl out of the way who didn't move which was pretty crazy that's pretty wild she didn't get out of the way she kept dancing while he was like she's awesome by the way what's that we know her she's awesome Oh, I think she's great. I was so happy she stood her ground.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was so proud. But while he was doing it, I said, Steve, you're the horniest guy on earth. And then he stormed off the day. He's like, don't call me horny. Stormed out. Yeah, I don't like when he yells that stuff. Shane doesn't like when you talk to women.

I've never been in a situation where if I'm talking to a woman that you don't come up and... I don't... Hold on you're telling me he's a bit of a player hater. I say, yeah. I'll say it's a player. I will say I do hate the game. I don't, typically I don't hate a player. I hate the game, then.

Oh, no. I hate it. If I see someone doing moves to try to get a girl, we're just talking to a girl? Talking to a girl. You talked to several women that night. Did I interrupt once? No.

Arrest my case. All right, fair enough. Now, when you shove the coworker out of the way, to get next to a woman, did I speak? It was a sloppy move. I were good. It was incredibly sloppy. Did anything come of it?

No, as soon as he stopped. Jack dude with a mullet came over and started grinding on that girl Oh Hey Several other women were talking on the whole time And I was I was delighted for you That's very nice Have you uh

Have you uh box out sent you over the edge box out was Especially when it when it's a Because the whole time I saw him coming and I was like there's No way he's about to do what I know he's about to do I'm imperfect any if any of my friends boxed a girl out To get next to a girl I'd be like Yeah It doesn't matter who it is.

I go, what the fuck you're doing, dude? That's crazy. You're so horny. Yeah. It's like to be the horniest guy on earth. Yeah. If you watch me box out a girl to get close to another girl, what would you say? I would.

You'd be so happy. I mean, even Jesus dropped across three times. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it. True. Especially being at a bar, hearing the song coming on, knowing the babes there. Going, ooh, this is my song. He was excited. I made it.

One time people do stupid shit with her. fucking revved up. And I'm allowed to say it. I'm allowed to go, what the fuck you doing? Yeah, if this is how we do it comes on, I'll go your favorite fucking song. Now would you shove a woman out of the way to get close to a war? I could see myself. I could see myself shove.

Making the mistake of boxing out for sure. Under oath, I would describe it as a slight shove. Under oath. Okay. Boxing out of square and with elbows. How about that? Is that a fair? It was a foul. If it was on the basketball court, it was a foul.

Teet him up. He was Jemann. It was a physical boxout. I can't wait to have eyes on you. I couldn't. I can't wait. Please, Steve. To gaze upon you talking to women.

Steve, you'll be in bed when I'm talking to the beds, too. I don't talk to a woman before 10 p.m. That's their amplification. Dude. Yeah. I'm going to start staying up late. I'm going to out. I can start staying up late.

I'm going to watch. You can't have a horny. I would love that. I welcome that. I welcome that type of scrutiny. No. You need to know I'm not a crook. It would be funny if he just got hammered trying to stay up late,

and then he was on like a movie date, and you're like, you horny motherfuckold. But have him removed from the building. Now, I'd like you, please answer me. What would you do if you saw me kind of going like this to one girl to go? To the girl next to me. What would you say? I put the blinders on let you get to work.

You're fibed. I would get to work. Don't fit to me like that. I would not. No, I'm more of a tabulator. I would tabulate. I'd wait till later and go. That's interesting.

That was crazy. You did that. The wild one. I couldn't contain myself. Once I saw it, I was like, Steve. Well, especially you were, it was like, he was jammed up to get to the floor, and you were at, you were in clock, and you were like, I know it's about to happen. Yeah. Which is also another big pressure.

So when he hit the, when he hit the foul. But I, I mean, I'm sad. you think that I was there to criticize you. I told you I wasn't. I was there. I was genuinely happy to watch you. You were frolicing. It was nice. Sure. And I do also want to say that I appreciate being

teased about stuff like because it's important to have checks and balances. Sure. And it is true that like but for you in my life I'd probably be you'd be doing that for real a lot. You'd be doing that a lot. A lot. There's no doubt. If a player's in the game he needs rules. That's right.

True. True. I'd run a muck. Have you? He's not afraid to run a muck. If I didn't have a fish bowl, you know, I'd be... That's how surprise sex happens. What? Have you pulled from swear dancing yet?

No. I watched it. You definitely pulled. You were doing well. Seeds are planning it. I saw some numbers get exchanged. Oh, I went out on a few dates with... Yeah.

There we go. Yeah. And very attractive women. Nice work. Oh, thanks. Yeah. It's just because of the show. Yeah, no shit.

You got to do something. What else are we doing? Yeah. That's nasty. It's all those years of hard work. It did hurt. It did hurt when the Jacks mullochie came in and stole your big boot. No, that guy's awesome.

First of all. I know, but I see what's going on there. There's a lot of wolves in that building. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's a lot of cowboys in fucking eastern Pennsylvania. Yeah. There's a lot of guys role playing in there for girls. Yeah.

True. I mean, that's a classic shepherd, dude. I'm basically Chris Kyle Is that his name? Chris Kyle? The American sniper? Yeah. You got you either a wolf or a shepherd's son or a dog, you know, or a sheep.

Which one of you? I'm a shepherd. You're a wolf. But those? Me? Big time, dude. You pushed a sweet sheep out of the way to be a predator. That's no sheep.

And that's a shepherd. She's no sheep. No, that's, that's. She's no. She thinks she's up to no good. Not that she's up to no good, but that's, you know, there's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, I mean, I will say her sticking around seemed like she was being funny.

Yeah. Because anybody else would have got out of the way. She's very funny. She stayed there because she knew what he was doing. Yeah, yeah. She kind of was like, she kind of was like, what are you going to do about it type? And Steve was ready to go.

He would go as far as it took. If I didn't intervene, you would have thrown her to the ground. The young man that go to line. People broke to each other while doing this. You got a crowded fool. It was a, I would describe it as a square. and they were at the corner, the front corner. I just exposed myself again.

There's no other spot for him to go right there. And he went... Yeah, I was wrong. I said, ow. I was wrong. He's a wolf, dude. I was wrong. And you embarrassed me?

Sorry. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to do that, too. We were on the clip of the fucking liver king at the fucking water. I liver game with the Waterburger with his friends and had crazy meals

Billy McCoskerhauer That was so funny It's hard sitting next to Breaking balls A Colossus in the game I can't keep up Shut the fuck up Billy

No I think you're the funny You're the funny dude Shut the fuck out Phone you must be a motherfucker You're the funniest It was so funny I thought about it Then you know sometimes you should

I didn't trust me look I hear you. Well, here's a thing though. I say yes. It's going to be on the best of 2026. Those fuckers that go to line dance, the young kids are going to line dance, so you have to watch out for them. Yeah, they got 1488 in their garage.

No, they don't. They're like the line dancers and stuff for the kids. You see those kids that are like 24 posts and they're like, get ready with me, a life in the day of a 24 year old in like Houston? That's exactly who fucking. That was Mr. Steele your girl. That was Mr. Steeleer. They're terrifying.

He was a handsome fellow. Gotcha. Yeah. The guy who came in and stole your prize. It was not my... You parade her around the... You were going for it. Yeah, she was dancing for a while.

She was showing you. She was teaching you moves. Can I... Can I... Can I say something? Yeah, for sure. For sure. And we're back.

We're back. Fair enough. I should have said that last bit. No, no, no. I think it's fair. Steve. It's context. Context, Matt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Context matter. You want to be a freak. You know? Yeah, you're totally fair. We're allied right now

in this episode. You're not our allies, dude. We're fucking, you guys have all been allied with, you guys have been allied with the

McCusker brothers are on your side. It's me against the world. I'm Germany. I'm Germany. Sorry. Sorry, I call Germany.

You're England. No, I'm not. England. We forced your hand. You're in a bottle of situation. I had to do it. Bolin.

I had to take Poland right away. You're France. I'm the USSR. You're next. Oh, you're not. I'm not. I'm not.

I said, sorry when I fuck to go myself. I'll kill myself. I'll kill everyone here. I'm going to starve to death in front of you. Do you remember when we put the crippling financial sanctions on Russia? Yeah. It was supposed to put them back to the Stone Age. Like, what happened there?

Money's fake. Yeah. Wait, is that recently? No, that was like... No way. Everyone changed your profile picture to the Ukraine flag and said like Russia. Well, they had that fucking pipeline. They supply... Don't they supply Europe with all their natural gas? And then something happened to it.

I don't know. No one even knows. Fucking... Somehow somebody blew it up. We wouldn't do that to our allies Anyway, so I didn't mean to kill the conversation, but whenever we was talking about Venezuela I wanted to say that too Remember yeah yeah like what was supposed to be back to the stone age and it's like if what's how is that Still working the prediction is they're gonna grind their economy to like dust with the war and eventually they'll collapse again Okay, that's the prediction the equipment I've seen them using over there though can't be that fucking expensive

It's about it's like a fucking tank It's like a, yeah, it's covered in battlebots. For really, they have to have battlebots tanks because they get hit with drones. Yeah. So all their tanks have like 10 feet of shit hanging off of it. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah.

And their drones are like Best Buy drones. That's all you need. It's like 30 grand a month from Best Buy funds the war. Honestly. I wonder if after this war they'll get brought into the fold on favorable terms. Never. Russia has the worst luck. Why? They've just been getting shit on forever.

They've got shit on forever. they really have. Why would they fucking hate Russia, bro? But didn't they help us big time in fucking WW2? Yeah. No, everyone forgets about that. They helped us.

And on this podcast, we don't bring out past wars. That's my one rule. Michael, Michael from Love on the Spectrum started a podcast, and he was like, in this podcast, we have one rule.

We do not speak on past war. That's a good for him. That's a good for him. He could get his hands on the wrong book. lose the liquid death money yeah dude I don't want you to feel bad about anything you do no time out

I don't want you to feel bad about or worry about it because I truly mean what I say about that which is like I need checks and balances on well I like what you're doing cowboy hat tank top snake boots I support that they're not snake but I do have cowboy boots

you should think about getting snake skins or gators. You can be the man in black. They'd get all black, black cowboy hats. No, no, it's all like browns and tans. No. You got a peacock a little bit. No, no, no.

I've done that. You've moved on? Yeah. Not even a feather in your cap? No. I would wait to be master the dance before you go all black. Yeah. No, but Evelyn

she got me one that was really funny. That's awesome. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Do they you're going to stay line dance or move on to different? I've already started doing some jive

There we go Yeah What the fuck is jive Jive? What are you going to see It's in the show It's like Because before the customer walks in the day

Like I'm just demonstrating to Kyla Some new dance stuff Weeks, yeah We're excited to have you tomorrow Yeah That's gonna be great Yeah

Good old time Sorry this is a boring topic really quick But has anybody seen the rehearsal Two Like the one where he goes And he never mind All right. What is that?

It's a Nathan Fielder. What's it? Nothing. What's rehearsal too? It's like that Nathan Fielder thing on HBO. He goes into an airplane. Yeah. I've heard of it.

Yeah, I heard it's really good. I thought it was so funny. But if... We don't see it. I'm excited to see Jive. What type of music is played during Jive? Like jazz dance. Oh, shit.

Yeah, yeah. That kind of stuff. Yeah. Baby, baby, baby, looks like it's going to... Stuff like that. Oh, shit. Yeah. Like big band

Is that what it's called? Big Band and Swing. Yeah. Our grandfather liked Big Band and he also loved Herb Albert. Our grandfather was a kid. You're creating a monster. I try so hard, dude.

Yeah, yeah. Just a minute ago, I was apologizing. And then you hit me with you dancing to fucking Baby, baby, baby. That's fucking bullshit. It sucks ass. Fuck. What's the next step after drive?

Whatever comes up on the YouTube. You do. I really need you to get into crumping. Yes. Cromping. Please get into crumping. Yeah. Cromping with me.

Well, I do at some point, though. I want to show you the fake ID line dance. Because I'm going to, I'd like to see it. When we finally get a day off, I'm going to go back to line dancing with you. Yeah. That's awesome. I love it. That's one we're going to have to shove some people because I need a lot of space.

Okay. Yeah, you go. Sure. Yeah. We can clear it out for you. Okay. That place would be. So hype if we cleared it out for you to dance.

Yeah. To make the accountant, dude. What's it? Do you ever see the accountant too? No. Dancing and they get in a big fight? It's pretty sick. Two brothers, they just love each other.

They go to line dancing. They get a big fight. That is going to, it's exactly what's going to happen. We can look it up. It's called Footloose, the remake, fake ID, and then it's a... And you mastered the dance from the movie? Or is it just the... I definitely have it down.

I wouldn't say it mastered it because there's... Dude, there's people with that line dance. The black dude and the white guy? fucking killing it. Nasty. He's enjoyable to watch. Yeah. And then the other lady?

Yeah, people take it very seriously. Oh, yeah. It's fucking tight. And then Gervis gets out there. And then what it was all over, then Shane danced and drank. He started playing Drake. Yeah. Dance.

Once everybody lasts, I got out on the floor. This lady was being mean to him for no reason. What the hell? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. It's like straight up yelling at him for something. Yeah. What was that?

What did you say? She was just saying like your... I'm not gooder. I don't know. Yeah, it was like sitting down. She came over like, hey, fuck. Yeah, like, I was like, all right. She might have been nagging you though.

And I tried to just like walk between them. And then he was like, he's, chain just kind of was like this. And then he goes, don't worry about it. And then he's like to her. He's like, you. That's just good, clean fun. It's good clean fun. Back to Drake dance.

Yeah. Getting a thumbs down. That's what you get. That's all you need to do to somebody. Bill, don't be afraid to talk after the Waterberger thing. Oh, sorry. It's just hard to keep up. After the water burger fiasco?

Maybe he just edit me out of the entire thing. No, we're playing it like 10 times. I should roll. That was so good. That's the Bejohn episode. I should roll. No. Who hit that burb?

Probably Matt. Matt might have. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm crazy. I really apologize. I got Spick back.

I didn't know it. And then you said that. I'm like, my mouth does taste pretty horrible right now. I got something like a hate trash. He burped up tacos. He was like, brother, it literally smells like they just kept up. I hate the smell of burbs. I apologize.

It has anything breaking down shit. It's like fully, yeah, it's like a fully cooked meal. It doesn't even smell bad. I hate like a pint of guac before I did this. That shit stays with you all night long. Yeah, that's bad. I'm sorry. We'll say, when you start filming you, you forget how much of a pussy you are.

What? Dude, I have to wake up early. It's crazy. Yeah. 618 for me tomorrow. Oof. Early call time. Oh.

I started doing calisthenics and it makes me want to fucking die. Cool. Yeah. What do you do? I'm doing like three pull-ups at a time. It's so embarrassing. No. I mean,

Pulps are hard. I, for real, my trans. Just to make it less embarrassing. I'm fucked up. True. Just take my tits back out of it. Ten pull-ups in.

True. It is the most embarrassing thing in the world. Just failing, doing three pull-ups. You got to do it, though. At least you can do three, dude. That's pretty good. That's what I was saying. Three is like three over and over.

Yeah, three over and over again. All the reals. Three every man there for time. That's awesome. Great. Bamp, bam, bam. Bannam it. Bimma.

Well, I think we've done it. Dude. Thank you all. Yeah, thank you. And Matt, when you head back down Austin Way, I'll be on down the floor with these two fellows. And get Spod Dog in here. Yeah, you guys are going to get to know each other a little better. All true.

And he is a delight. But I mean, me and Gervyn got along. We golf fucking together. Oh, yeah. Was that with Phil? Yeah. I was using women's clubs. It wasn't a good time.

Yeah, until you got his goad. Yeah, yeah. Bumped him twice. I don't know. That's like good, clean, fun. Did you? Why did you get so upset about that? Because I was drunk.

I don't like it. Because I was drunk and I bumped him to us. You don't like mess around the golf course? That's right. Okay. That makes sense. It's a gentleman's game. Stand for him.

I can't. I can't. If people are taking golf seriously, I get very mad. Yeah. He's turning. in a jackass. Bro, I was going fucking less than, it was so slow.

It was so slow. It was, he became He became a friend. No one was home. O'Leary. We were having a good time. You guys were having a good time, yeah. The bumps were not hard.

They were light bumps. It was definitely not jackass. Fair enough. Admit they were light bumps. They were 100% light bumps. Did you ever react? No. He became Dominant Daddy.

He did dom me. Yeah, he did. At my own golf out. I think it's perfectly okay to say, hey, I don't like this. Boundaries. That's not overreacting. Hold on, hold on. Because you won't stop.

If somebody bumped somebody's, if somebody bumped my cart and I turn around and said, hey, I don't like that. Watch it, Buster. What do you think is going to happen? You're getting bumped. Right. So, I mean, check me immediately. And so all I'm going to do is say, you know what? I'm putting my foot down.

This is my thing. I said, Chris on me out. As soon as he got out of the car, I just started steered at me. Chase. And then I said, well, how do you diffuse this? No. So I just sort of laid there and took it.

It was a million. One second. As soon as I saw you were like, actually sad, I left you alone. I don't think there was time dilation going on there. Sure. But. Well, I was very annoyed. Yeah, you got mad.

I got mad at the whole fucking, I don't tolerate that. I didn't say tolerate. I don't know what I said. I said, hey, don't bump me. I'm not on your level is the exact That was what he did say I'm not on your level right now I don't feel like dealing with this

I'm not dealing with this I'm not on your level right now Oh that's a great thing to say Clear boundary set Yeah Yeah Why'd you take it so bad Gerva was on rea He took it so bad

You got the car and went on My mom was like come say hi to people And you're like absolutely not How many people might say hi too A lot of people you gotta say hi to a lot of people It's a fucking Down syndrome charity It's a charity event for Down syndrome I thought that

I thought we were done with the obligation of doing the charity Alright my bad next time No, you're fine Yeah, no, I feel bad You shouldn't feel bad You did exactly what

You would do No one was like What the fuck I'll go back Phil was like Phil was like where the fuck's Gerbin I was like he went home And that was it

He was tired He got bumped He got like twice He got all up at his grill He got bumped 18th. 17th? 17th? All the way down 17.

Turn around 18. All the way up 18. Admit it was funny. Slow round. Admit it was funny when I was playing corporate outings. It made it was funny when I was playing Flight of the Valky's on the Bluetooth while chasing. That is jackass. Sure.

It's great. You got a mad dog and bump them back as hard. It's like go crazy. He was the VC. I was in a helicopter playing fortunate songs. He hit the deck, dude. I hated it. But your dad was a blast.

Yeah, he's awesome. Yeah. He's a man. Chris was reminding us to one of his lines because Billy's back swung was really quick. And Billy was just like joking with him like, I missed that because you were talking to my back swing. And your dad's like, I had to be an auctioneer to talk to your back swing. I heard you were out in front of the whole group. You didn't want to play basketball?

No, I didn't even know what we were doing. First, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I figured it out. First, you were just going his own way. Yeah, and everyone just followed me. They're like, don't do that. I said, why? You just.

And I understand the rules, yeah. But we got it. There you go. Who want? There's another event. Your sister's got coming up. I don't even know. We'll do one.

Yeah, we're doing it. We'll get you out there. If you get bumped. You know what? The problem is, I can't go to war with you. Yeah, you can. No, I can't. You have the ultimate weapon, which is you can make me feel very bad.

No, I can. Yeah. You can. You make me feel sad. Not in the moment. When you get hurt, I feel sad. So I had to get physically hurt. No, not physically.

I just emotionally. You've never been physically hurt. But why? I was very gentle with your penis. You were, I said, that's, I completely agree with that. I would never ball tap you. We've always said that nobody is better at. Nobody's better at handling a dick and nuts.

I got a whole book on it. I got a book on it. You got a book on it. He comes first. So that is his follow-up. He comes next. He comes next? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, it's a real follow? It's a real follow-up. It's not worth it. I'm going to write a look at this author. Now, because that's all about, like, how to please guys. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. That's what I thought it was.

I'm going to write, he comes fast. Author or no. He wrote the book by himself? Apparently. I mean, that'd be such an easy book to write. I could write a fucking tomb. Yeah. on what I like.

It checks out. It makes a lot of sense. What's the cover art? I'm not going to name the author. It was a Jewish author. You guys hate Jewish sex, dude. It's crazy. Stay out of the Jewish bedroom.

The Jewish bedroom is intense, dude. That's what the butt plug rabbi says. Stay out of the Jewish bedroom. Pierce, you're obsessed with the Jewish bedroom. click the old early life on the Wikipedia. Where is you from? Brooklyn. He is also Jewish.

Thank you. They don't do that to any other religion. I rarely do that to any religion. In the early life on any, like, famous person, if you click it, if they're Jewish, it's immediate, like, almost like... The ABL runs with... His grandparents were one-quarter Jew. Yeah, they do. Yeah.

It's the fucking Gestapo on that thing. It's really weird. It's crazy. The ABL fucking... I think they do shit on Wikipedia. Like, they scour that shit. And they're adding? Yes.

They're getting numbers. I mean, anyone who rules is like, he was Jewish. Hey, he's claiming dogs. Hold on. Do you have a Wikipedia? No. Yes, you do. You have to have a Wikipedia.

Oh, you don't even know, yeah. I mean, you don't put your own Wikipedia up. You should. Yeah, you should really. I don't know if you can edit them anymore, though. I don't know. Oh, whatever this fucking thing is. What is that?

Personal life. The condition is aggravated by... I don't want to be here if we're Googling me. What the fuck is Wikitia? No, clue. I mean, it's probably something to steal your data. Got me. No, you don't have a Wikipedia.

Damn, yeah, get one, Gerwin. Early life. You're going to get one after this. Half Jewish. Early life. Nothing else. Early life. Jewish.

Nice. So true, though. Everything. I've never seen it. It's rare. You can start editing them in their early life just put yes. Turns out, yes. Changed his name when he was 15.

Kirby's. You're wild, man. You're going to see him tomorrow. I can't wait. He's bawling out this season. I can't wait. It's so much fun. It is fun.

I kind of sucked. I kind of sucked. You did not suck. The second half. Oh, what do you mean? Fish. We get a lot of scenes after lunch, dude, and it's just... That's tough.

What you eat for lunch? Cobb salad. Yeah, he's a salad. It's light. Yeah. Something light. It's just... You're tired.

You get tired. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, everyone's tired. Second half. No, it's exhausting. And then we have catering ladies to bring around... It's fucking insane, dude. They bring a tray of fucking Wendy's burgers yesterday.

Saw out of the bake. Just like an hour after lunch. Just like, we got him cheeseburg. Remember last time they brought a giant thing of soup. Just give everyone like a thick cream. Delicious. Yeah. It was nuts.

You should let me give it. Doge that shit. Cut all that out, save as much money as possible. True. Get people hungry. Just get tequitos from 7-11. 15. If you want them, take them.

They're so good, bro. Yeah, they are. I haven't. I haven't gotten them in a long time. 15 years. But every single time I'm at the register about to buy some ends, I go, who you and me used to have something. There she is.

That was always blackout clues. I'd wake up and go. every single time. This 7-Eleven in Westchester, I would go in there. I would get like a dozen 7-Eleven wings threw up every single time. It's crazy. All right.

Well, that's a good one. We got an hour and a half Steve. The cam state. Yeah. Hopefully that works. Sorry. Bill, thank you very much. Oh, you're sorry.

Nothing to be sorry. But see, this is their defense against me, for real. You hurt my feelings. You can't help. And then I genuinely feel bad. You feel bad. Yeah, I feel bad for you, dude. I didn't mean to make funny like that.

Liver King's stories already go. It's already got to watch. Liver King went to Waterberger with his family. It got a crazy meal. Look it up. Lever King and Will talk to my fucking meal. Look up Levert King of Waterberg. It's fucking amazing.

I will. He teaches his kid how to go on me. See it. Oh. You should go on Rogan, dude. Yeah, I should fucking tell me. It's that right away. Dude, did you see Leverick King with the Waterberger with his family and got a crazy

fucking meal? I was just trying to get things gone You're talking about Smok the whole time You're talking about Smott the whole time That would invite me here The Guter's round-tated If

The Liverer King comes after you And I'm around Oh yeah I'm gonna I'll do the thing Where I get liverg Why are you talking like this dude He's tighter than a crab's ass

You see him fucking around He's got no move bro He's that's That's what I was saying All it all All four is behind him And then push and then jump on top Do you think?

You think you're going to sneak up on the king? You bet's not missed. Yeah, that would be the problem. He's missing. You think you're going to yank on Pull his beard. You don't tug on on Superman's cape. You don't pull on a liver of king's beard, dude, I'll tell you that.

You think you're going to fucking hit him with like three stooges' dogs? He keeps his dog. He kicked his dog. Everybody got pissed at him. He went to caravan to Austin. And they got arrested. I'll call fucking cops all liver king. That's how you deal with his ass.

You're crawling in the hallways. At the four seasons, yeah. Can you imagine if you open your doors? I was like shit. Oh, man. I want nothing apiece with the liver king for him. We got to unite the king. I'm not for the record, dude.

He's trying to, war mode versus liver king's nice. It's not going to agree with you. What? Spud's not going to be happy. You signed him up for this. He's got a family, dude. 3.0, good and true. He's sitting there.

He's still lying. Oh, my God. This is 100% I don't fucking care, dude. If I were you, I'd be so nervous. I'm not nervous for him. I pray for him. True.

He's going through it. He's going through a tough time. True. Scared? Go church. I'm genuinely scared. Yes. Brian Johnson wants to do that,

not to live forever, Brian Johnson. That's the guy to be, The guy to be afraid of is the fucking Brian Johnson who lives forever. Guy's trying to be like fucking 250. Oh, that fucking guy? True. That guy is scary. He's just transing into Gervin.

There's a guy out there that one of the, he's 60. He's transging into you. He's becoming a Jewish man. Is that right? Did he see the 23 of me or is that fake? No, what? Someone swab their bearded dragon, 23 of me? No.

And sent it in and came back Ashkenazi Jew. Oh, my goodness. dude that's not true look it up it's like the beard of dragons's early life on Wikipedia Jewish Brian Johnson is just trying to become a reptile

where'd you see that look it up I don't fucking know nothing matters any 23 of me yeah after a liver king meal it was just like a dragon I just looked at

I was a guy that'd be funny you should have here we got a fact check that the fact check I don't care. I mean, it's funny. Is it true? It's just exposing total fraud, dude. It has nothing to do with the actual result.

But the actual result was Oshkanazi Jew. 51% Oshkinazy Jew. Jesus. The Beat Lizzer is 48% West Asian and 51% Ashkenazi Jew. Dude. Could have been any ethnicity.

It came back that. Even if it's fraud, it's still funny. It's funny. It's so. Obviously, it's hilarious. It's so fucking funny. Brian Johnson is just going to eventually start eating bugs and sitting under a lamp.

Try to over it, topple regimes. Hey. Hey. Hey. That's all we got. Hey. A good bus driver. It's a dickhead kid.

Get off. Hey. You got to sit up front now. I just sit up front for half a year. I believe it, dude. I was crawling under her seats in the bus. I believe that. Getting dirty as shit first thing in the morning.

You ever do that? Yeah, I crawled under that. It is nice. Except when you get to the wheel while and then you go, oh. Yep. Stop. You're undersea.

And I clocked the full year in front of the bus. As soon as I walked on, bus driver looked at me and my cousin was like, up here. Matt and Pat, get to the front. Yeah, you had the vibe.

We had the vibe. We used to sit. You had bad homebrose. Hide behind the seat. As soon as she looked up in the mirror, we were tucked down. And she was like, enough. Just you're up here.

I don't know what you're doing. How about under the bleachers? Is it a high school game? You ever get under there? No. It's good stuff down there. Yeah. I think I shipped Tennessee under there one time.

That was crazy. That's pretty sick. Yeah. That was good. My sister's basketball games, I'd run under there. Oh, yeah. That's fun stuff. That is fun.

Reach up, grab someone's ankles. That's good stuff. All right. We've done enough. We did. We did. Thank you guys. Yeah, yeah.

I love you. I love you. Thank you. I love. I miss you too. Goodbye, everybody. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.