Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 597 - Fart Goggles (feat. Luis J. Gomez & Lemaire Lee)

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Luis @ https://gasdigitalnetwork.com/ Support Lemaire Joe @ https://www.patreon.com/pitm Go See Matt Live in VEGAS!!!! and more @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Luis Live @ https://luisofskanks.com/ Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live Good morning! Hot cast for you guys. Had to take to the podiumz to settle the hottest beef in comedy right now. Luis j vs. Meez. Will they make up? Will they fight? You'll have to tune in to find out. Please enjoy. God Bless. This video is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/MSSP Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Bodybrain Coffee code MS20 for 20% off!!! https://bodybraincoffee.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoqAIO-HWQRUNXpAJk63EFtQ7rFZtnypnjei7mzVPDC7d-iqPEvt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, Wow, Wes. Hey, you were live. God damn, what's going on? Louis J. Gomez. LeMay or Lee, I'm just trying to, I'm trying to heal the divide, man. Trying to heal the divide. Trying to heal the divide. It's just been, man.

Laughter is such a divine medicine. I see you guys fighting. I'm going, what the hell are we doing? Look at that. Podcast over. How's that? We did it, boys. No more ranking comedians.

Let's just say we're all equal, all. Everyone's fucking the same. Have you guys, have Luci K. You know, I'm sure you're, uh. Either way. How you guys doing, man? Chillin, dude.

Thanks for having me. I love it. I love the Matt and Shane community. Thank you, dude. Yeah, you guys are great. It's like one of the only podcasts that like the fans of it like me at first. It was weird. Like, because most other podcasts, they got to see me like at least 40, 50 times before they get it.

Usually it's just like death threats calling my son gay, but, you know, I'd say a good 50-50 on the Matt and Shane and get it. It's funny. You're referring to your own things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm not even a lie, dude. It's, it's, yeah, I'm a tough pill to swallow. I make bad first impressions. Do you really?

Yeah. What? Yeah. I've always thought, first time I met you, I'm like, this guy rules. Yeah, yeah, I think, no, me and you got along, maybe that's why. You and you and Shane really get me. Yeah. And so I think the fans that, you know, follow you guys, they kind of, whatever it is, they, you know, you guys are seeing something that these guys are up around the edges, that's all.

But I'm not funny or creative, according to Lamar, so it's not even, it's not even a big, for me, I don't care, but as long as you guys think. But as long as you guys think that. What did he say you're the worst member of the reg? Yeah. I'm trying to heal the vibe. He said, I'm not, I'm not as funny as Danny Braff,

which is fucked up because Danny Braff's a funny young comic. He said, Danny Braff called a stray. And, I call him stray first. I'm funnier than Danny Braff. So at the very least,

I may be the least funny member of the regs, but I'm funnier than the producer. Okay. I could give you funnier to Danny Braff, dude. But you did it first. You said 80% of the comics who moved down to Austin.

What a lot. Especially what a dirty line We have the numbers wrong Can we get the fact check on these numbers? Yeah, these numbers What are you fucking Rogan? You're just fucking throwing false facts out there You're trying to get this shit demonetized

There was no number I said most of the comics Which I guess you could deduce 80% Fine alright you know what I agree with that 80% is the number That's the right number actually I didn't say it but now that I think about it Yeah I got caught up in the moment Yeah, I got caught up in the moment

Tony Henscliffe triggered me Right? He triggered you yeah He started talking shit about New York in text, right? And I was like, ooh, fucking Tony, you're so, he's already won. He's already rich. He's already got all the fans. Just be happy about it.

That's it. But for some reason, every time he's with me, he likes to bust my balls. And I'm very close with Tony. He's the fucking man, right? He's a friend. And he puts me on a show every time I come to Austin. But, yeah, dude, he just started. He was like, yeah, who does New York got?

And I was just like, oh. And then I went under the regs and I started talking shit. And you get caught up in the moment. There's bravado. You're like. So I said something that was pretty much, I said actually something that was untrue, which is that most of the comics that came down here, couldn't cut it in New York. Most of the comics that came down here didn't even try to cut it in New York.

They knew better than to not go to New York, which is the toughest comedy scene. It's like training with a fucking thousand pound vest on, dude. Yeah. It's all very hard. Yeah. And the crowds down here are the best. They're the like literally the crowds down here, they want to laugh at fucked up shit, edgy shit. So you come down here, you're like, oh, this is fucking great.

But the bigger point is that. that in New York, it's just tougher. Like, these are fucking, like, dumb bitches and they're fucking boyfriends and they're just, like, make us laugh. And you gotta, like, try to break through that, which is tough. Because everybody's entitled in a cunt up there. Come on, bro.

Well, everybody. See what I'm saying? Like, not even 80%. What an asshole. It's crazy. What LaMere says is just fucking crazy. Yeah, I was, I personally think the Lemaire charm. You got to go back to just pure peace, dude.

I can't be peace. You have to be peaceful. You're not a fighter. I'm a bad boy, dude. You're not a bad boy. You need a bad boy. You need it. Your charm is like a deep Buddha nature, dude. Yeah, beat like, you're likable.

You're the sweet, like that's the thing you're the sweetest thing ever. Like, you know, and- You're like the Olson twins. You're like both the Olson twins. I had a countdown clock for Lamar's 18th birthday. I'd be like if Olson twins started popping off, like, no, you guys are a beautiful babies. No, man, you can't get anything being too nice. People forget about you. That's not true, man. It's so true.

You want people to root for you. It's so true, bro. I don't want anybody rude for me. Well, I'm not like, like, but you can't. Well, I had to go start a comedy festival, a production company, a podcast network. I had to literally create my own industry because I'm so unlikable that the industry wouldn't accept me. Like, you're not going to do that, Le Maire. You're tired. Wait, outside of this, do you think the industry has accepted me?

Outside of this. You're still young in this. People see you. I know you're old as fucking fucking, you're going to lose your foot soon, but we're still a young buck. I get you into comedy for fucking 12 years or whatever. But in comedy, the first. 10 years you're figuring out. The second 10 years, it's turning into a career. So you're getting impatient. And instead of like letting this bloom, because you have some opportunities in front of you,

people know who you are. People knowing you is half the fucking battle, right? So don't ruin that by not being who you truly are, which is like people, like you're not a mean, nasty boy. You're a nice boy. And people will fucking, the next decade, bro, you'll literally blow the fuck up because people are rooting for you and they want to grease the wheels for you. You, you, that's it's, I don't know. I think that's the way to do it. Like, you got to be a nice boy. You got to be a nice boy. You're at the stage where the nasty egg is hatching. You have to kill the baby nasty dragon.

Yeah. Or it takes over your life. The nasty dragon takes over the life of many. Yeah, dude. It hatches in you and goes, it's my time. I should have more. And they'll literally tell you. Yeah.

Turn you into a bitter bastard. This is one of the five years in comedy is like the worst time because like that's when your friends are starting to get some shit and you're like getting impatient. Then 10 years when you're not making the money you want to make, you're like, fuck. But this next decade is about how you turn it into a business. The business is just open now. You just open the doors.

That's it. Yeah. Look, and you have your coffee too. You actually, you remind me of, fuck man. We had another person on the show,

giving me his vibes. A good friend of the show, actually, Peter Atie actually, a big help guy. I read his book, dude. Dude,

he had him on. I loved him. I was disheartened when I saw all the stuff. Dude, and it was really like, you know, in his defense,

he was purely, like, I don't know what happened, but it didn't look like he did anything. He was just simping so hard for J.E. Yeah, yeah. And it was such a rough look, dude. Like, imagine like I left the garage door open recently

and my wife like Spaz. Like people got a game in here. Dude, if I got busted simping for Epstein and the emails, just being like, dude, pussy rule. Can that come to your wildest party? That was Elon Musk. Yeah, you know. That was the most man. I mean, look, dog. First of all, I'm one of the only comics on the Epstein list.

For real. What do they mean? What do they say? No. No, the Epstein. They're like, I saw him from the 50th time. He's like, dude, this guy also loves nubile young women. He, I think he was talking to Woody Allen. I think it was Woody Allen. They were emailing about a show at the comedy seller. And they were like, let's go to this one.

It's the 1030 show. And it was me and Big J and a few other comics on the show. So me and Big J are both on the, and Epstein probably saw his new comedy. We probably inspired some of the shit that he did on that island, to be honest with you. Yeah, you have a big Jay love eating babies I can't stop laughing about just getting busted

Just trying to bro down with Epstein Having like didn't didn't like think anything of it Said at dinner with him like Yeah There's so many dorks on the list though On the Epstein list Like email Epstein and they're like Bro, that party was fucking lit

Like you know Yeah Yeah they were hung out with like nerd scientists Yeah It's exclusively dors works. I mean, smart. It's almost there's so many people on the list that I feel like it's, it's like it's coming, like my ADHD, like I'm going like, I let them get away with it.

I can't deal with this. Like whatever, whatever they were doing, dude, it's just so many fucking people and so many names and so many emails. Yeah, it's also nothing's, everyone's waiting for like the smoking gun. Dude, it's, they're billionaires. They've deleted that shit. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's not like the FBI, some like non-poorous box of like superhuman individuals or like, I'd never contradict my value. A billionaire has shit online. They want off. They're like, hey, here's 10 million bucks.

I think the smoking gun is in Tosy Gabbard's office. She's getting in trouble now. Dude, there's no smoking gun. They've deleted it. Dude, if you're a billionaire, you have a thousand million dollars. Yeah. When you put it that way, it's not that much. It's so much.

Just 1,000 million. Did you ever see like... It's so fucking much million. That's crazy. The difference between... The difference between a million... Was it hours or minutes? So like a million minutes versus like a billion minutes.

Yeah. And a billion minutes like a million, a million minutes is like back in like the 70s or whatever. And a billion minutes is like Jesus times. Yeah. Like that's how far back. Like that's how much a billion is. No, I saw a video where they explain like mathematically like, all right, if you have a million bucks, here's what you can buy.

If you have a billion dollars and it's like you spend this million and then you have this and it just never ends. And then the interest that's accruing off a billion dollars. I think if you have what is it? If you have like six million dollars, you can get 100,000, dollars a year in interest. Yeah. So a few times that by whatever a billion is,

a thousand millions. A thousand more. You have a thousand more, 100,000 for a year. Our brains can't even be. Those numbers don't even exist. My going brain, you can't.

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Go to bodybraincoffee.com. Use code MS20 for 20% off. That's bodybraincoffee.com promo code MS20. back to the show. Yeah, man, it's fucking, uh, it's all fucking wild out there. I know. It's all divided too. People like, people are crazy.

They're like, whatever political side you're on, you're like, everyone else in the list is a pedophile. And anyone on your side, it's like, no, dude, they were cool. Yeah, my guy was going for a charity. They're all pedophiles. Yeah. They're all pedophiles. There's a lot of pedophiles.

There's more pedophiles than you think. Man, I was trying to make this point a couple years ago and everybody got mad at me, but I was like, nobody gives a fuck about pedophiles. You guys act like you care, but you don't really care. They care. No, they don't care. What do you mean? They don't care.

How do they not care? That's all anyone's talking about is trying to find out who's a pedophile. Yeah, but what do you do once you find out there a pedophile? They're despised. They're just despised. They lose everything. I mean, yeah, they're going to jail very often. Not if you got a thousand millions.

That's true. You know, you're not despised. That's the whole point of that money, though. I think if you become a billionaire, they should give you like two babies that you get to raise to do whatever you want with. That's a big, to become a billionaire is crazy. That's what Trump's baby bill was. Yeah. Did you hear about that?

No, I didn't. Every baby gets a thousand bucks now. Every baby? That's what they're pushing for. Every baby you get $1,000 in an interest-bearing account. What is the baby going to do? By the time you're 18, you have $50,000. That's great.

It's smart. I like that. Sometimes Trump says things, you're like, that's not so bad. People are attacking it, though. Isn't that Gerbers? Like, that's what Gerbers used to do. You put money in that account, and then by the time you're 18, they'd give it to you. Did Gerbers do that?

Yeah. I just started an investment account for my son and my niece. Yeah. And I'm just fucking dumping my. money into it because I figure by the time I'm ready to like die I'm not going to have anything left I am Puerto Rican so and yeah yeah so I just have all your tattoos yeah I'm doing the math I just want to like when they turn 30 they're getting a big fat check it's like a trust and yeah you can't give it to when they're 18 or 21 that's like 21 is the new like 12 but here's my thing

dude if I had gotten that 50k at 18 I could have saved myself a lot of a heartache going through like weird weed suppliers. I could have like became the boss in the weed game. You could have easily. 50,000 dollars at 18 you can literally, dude, dude, dude, you flip that. It's a 20 pack. You just got fucking you're like, I just bought fucking 30 pounds of weed. It's just crumbling. It's all stale now. Especially back in like the early 2000s, that would have been like 20 pounds of weed. I could have probably even more. Honestly, more. 30. Yeah. I got bossed up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, at 18 if you were, I mean, I would have just spent it on drugs and pussy and, you know, a shitty car.

I would have had a Honda Civic with Accura Rims. But, you know, a lot of people are against it. I don't think it's a bad idea, honestly. Give every baby a thousand bucks. I think that's actually a great idea. Like, legitimately, it's actually one of the best ideas ever. The thing, dude, people hate on Trump. Dude, I read The Art of the Deal.

That's a great book, dude. He really understands. People are like, dude, he doesn't know shit about business. Like liberal people, you're like, no idea. He turned a few million dollars at his dad. I get that his dad gave him a few million dollars, right? Yeah. He turned it into billions of dollars.

It's not an easy task. We just want to have it on paper. On paper. That's all it is. The billionaire is, it's just on paper. You don't actually have a billion. They don't have a billion dollar bills. He doesn't screw you.

Yes. You are so anti-pilled, LeMereg. You are so anti-pilled. I'm not anti-pilled, dude. I'm standing up for my beliefs. Yeah, but I'm not a Trumper at all, but it's like impressive as fuck what he, like what he did. Stand my ground, man.

Stand my ground, bro. I know, it's also, it's hard to just not have a million dollars and lose a million dollars. Yeah. You know what I mean? You should, though. What do you mean? If you have a million dollars, you should lose a million dollars. You should spend it all.

Yeah. Why not turn it into a billion dollars on paper? Why do you? What do you need a billion dollars on paper for? So you can go away to be the pedophiles, dude. We already talked about this. We're going in circles. Here you think, if you have a billion dollars, you can get out of a DU.

If you have like a couple of mill, you might be able to grease the wheels for a DUI. Yeah. That's right. Why do you think guys are working so hard to get a bill? Yeah. You know what I mean? I don't get it, man. Well, you know, that's money mindset, bro. I don't got it, dude.

It's a fucking money mindset. I got poverty mind. You got to read rich guy, poor dad. Jeffrey Epstein recommended that book, by the way. I thought the J.E. reading list. That's the new Oprah reading list. I bet you I read every book on the J.E. reading list. Do we have the J.E. reading list?

I just heard the email where he was just like giving his lady books to read. Rich that poor dad's pretty good, dude. It's not bad. I like that. It's kind of a fuck you to his dad, though. Yeah, well, because his dad was the poor dad. I know. That's fucking embarrassing.

The worst dad was his best friend's dad, which is hilarious. Yeah, if my son wrote a book, if I had a son, he was like, yeah, I like, gay dad, straight dad. He was like, yeah, he was my gay, fucking loser fucking dad who didn't know anything. He was your shame was the straight dad. And also, by the poor dad had pretty good advice. Like, go to school, work hard. He's like, what a fucking pussy. What a little.

bitch my dad was oh fuck damn richard gay dad i'm so right now right now rich dad gay dad oh damn dude so what else has been up man you you're on your what do you uh i always like that you have either your training for like some sort of fight you usually do have some sort of like health thing in mind where you have yeah i'm down 25 pounds since christmas you're losing right now yeah i'm losing weight right now you're on the belly pin shot which say are you on the shot no Okay, bro, I don't do any I don't inject anything to my body. I don't take testosterone. I don't fucking take you know, what do they call them? GLP? GLP. GLP's. Yeah, I'm skeptical of all that stuff too. No, I think it's terrible. I think you're not you're not supposed to inject that shit into your body. I think it's gonna turn into some crazy shit in the future. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah, yeah. It's like, also everyone who takes them, they have like fucking. Bones are disappearing and shit. They get like osteoporosis. Some hot chick who used to be fat and she's like. Yeah. I, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, worry about that. I like to, I would like to save that stuff where I'm like 80 years old and just make the craziest comeback. Yeah. Just let my body like go like to the brink basically. Rebuild myself. I mean, if you're like, you know, fucking wildly overweight, you know, it's better than it's better than being wildly overweight. So, you know, that's the only thing. If you're not going to get off the couch and move and eat right, which is like, that's the answer. The answer's right in front of you. You don't need to fucking, you don't need to do anything. You know, not. If you're, if you're, I think if like a quarter of the people in the country are on the shot right now.

Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot of people. But it's like 70% of the country is overweight. So it's like, yeah, we need to ramp it up. You know, like, you know, people? They blame food stamp fraud on like black people, but it's mostly white people. I feel like it's like that with Ozempic. Like, it's blaming it on fat people, but it's mostly skinny people taking Ozempic.

I don't think anything you just said was true. Like not a single, the past 13 seconds of what LaMera said was all false. I've only been speaking truths for the last 20 minutes. No, I, uh, is that true about the welfare fraud or is it welfare? I've heard that about welfare itself. It's all the same shit. No, it's not the same shit. They're different programs, but it's the same.

No, welfare fraud's totally different than welfare. If I'm like struggling. Oh, yeah. Versus if I'm like selling drugs on the side and getting food stamps, that's welfare fraud. I don't want to be racist here. Which I have actually. My mom used to commit welfare fraud all the time. She would sell her food stamps outside of the supermarket.

It was the only thing more embarrassing than my mom using food stamps at the supermarket was her trying to sell them to my friend's parents so she can get cigarette money. It was fucking insane, dude. For half the price, 50 cents on the dollar for food stamps my mom would sell them for. It was like fucking awful. My mom would buy it for my aunt Debbie. She'd give her $100 worth of food stamps. Good times.

Yeah, yeah. So everyone's committed him food stamp fraud. I didn't do food stamp fraud. I just was on Medicaid because I didn't have any money on the books. And they were like, how much money do you make? And I was like, zero dollars. Zero on paper. On paper.

On paper. I ended that Trump money, bro. Zero on paper. I was like, what if I make like a little bit of money one month? But, and they're like, oh, you'll be all right. Yeah. Sick. Yeah, but the amount of money we pay in taxes, like, I don't mind that.

Right. So it's like, well, we don't mind it. But it's because goddamn Obama force me to get health care. I was fine having no health care. Yeah, yeah. And so we're going to penalize you. Yeah, not only do you have to get health care that you have to pay for, but we're going to charge you. now we're going to charge you money if you don't have it.

That's what I'm saying. Now I have to lie to the government and say, hey, I was leaving you guys alone. Figured you leave me alone. Yeah. I feel like for the baby bill, the way they can fund it is for every vaccine, you deny your baby,

you get like a $50 credit for the trust fund. Yeah. That's a smart. It's not bad. Smart move. How are you going to keep them out of school? You get all that money. House Fies are going to fund this fund then.

How's Pfizer going to fund to fund if the babies aren't getting vaccines? There's all different types of companies. Tech, bro. Vaccines are out, dude. Everyone's done with it. What are you talking about? They're so 20-25. Dude,

I hate the tech guys right now. They're fucking getting on my nerves. Why do you hate the tech guys? Because they're... They're fucking giving us a voice. They're rude. They're giving us a voice. I don't have to think anymore.

And my text messages in my phone, like literally, it literally gives you suggestions to text back now. This is, I'll never use it because I, like, that is like the end of like thought. That is like where you're just like, me,

conversation in your place. It's like, okay, got it. I'm out front. I took my walk today. And I usually like, I usually work out two days and I had third days of rest day and take a long walk. And I was like, you know, I'm like so happy to get like my earphones in and take it. And I was listening to like a podcast about the importance of silence. And like 10 minutes into it. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing? I took my earphones out and just walk in silence. It was actually podcast is right. Silence rules. That's beautiful. It was really funny. It was. It was really funny. It was. It was so funny. I was like, yeah, silence is fucking cool.

And I was like, why don't I listen to this fucking NPR narrative? Tell me about silence. I'll listen to a podcast sometimes when I work out. But for the most part, I work out fucking raw now. Really? No music either. Yeah, yeah. Just alone with my thoughts.

That's kind of nice. Yeah, it really is. Home gym? Yeah, I got a home gym now. Yeah, I'm clanging and banging. Yeah. I've tried the no music workout, but I need tunes. Cardio I can't do.

Cardio's crazy. Cardio about cardio. I need a hard female rap talking about. about popping their pussy. That is what gets me running fast. Glow really? Yeah, dude, that's like just the fuck. Every female rapper now, they're just like,

fuck me in every whole motherfucker. I know. That's the best. I love it, dude. I'm like, this is motivating me. You like that. I love it. It pisses me off.

I don't like slut rap. No, I love it. It's fucking pisses me off. My wife plays it. We're driving. I'm like, turn this fucking shit off. You don't, don't listen to this. Bro, you chose this life.

Nobody told you how to get into this life, bro. Trying to change who she is. Dude, it activated. They get old Manchurian candidate. Whenever like Megan the Stallion comes on, and her own friends are like, I'm like, stop. You guys are fucking,

fucking mad. Eh, my pissy. I'm like, ew, knock it off. I love it. Meg your Stallion's good clean fun, dude. She's GCF, dude. She's not good clean fun. She's good clean fun.

She got shot in the foot. Yeah, and it wasn't Tori Lanes. Do they know that for a fact now? Yeah, they were saying somebody, somebody, he took the fall for somebody else. Who? And he also didn't take the fall. He said he was not.

guilty the entire time. Yeah. Well, yeah. But he got, okay, so he got a but it was either her friend or her security. I can't remember. Really? Yeah. I heard it was Caitlin Jenner. Remember how fast? She was at a Kardashian party who uh, Megan B. Stallion was leaving our Kardashian party and when she was shot by shot in the foot by mystery man. Yeah. I don't even hear about any of this. You didn't hear about this is how this was like two years ago. It was like four years. She was leaving a party. Got shot in the foot and then we're just discovered in a car, I believe, with Torrey Lanes and some illegal guns.

A friend, a girl and a bottle of a... And she was like naked for something. She had no clothes on, had a bleeding foot. She was writing a song. Ow! Hey, hey. Dude, like two years ago, Tori Lane almost got stabbed to death in jail because of the shit. And then like, they, there was a sheriff who came out and was like,

yo, Tori Lane's innocent. He didn't actually do this. And then nothing happened. This is one shirt. Like, Megan Estabion should be in jail for perjury because she lied in court about what happened. Did she just because one sheriff said that. No, well, he was innocent. Because he, he, they have video, they have like a video that shows he's actually innocent, but they didn't like release it.

That's so, there's no way. There's no way. In court, you can like, in court and discoverer, you can leave certain evidence out so the jury doesn't see it. Yeah. Yeah, but how does defense attorney allow that? The dude had millions of bucks. There's no. Because he's not going to complete. I don't know what it is.

It's probably some type of weird. He's doing, I'm not snitching thing. Tori Lanes. He's doing, I'm not snitching thing. Okay. Yeah. So he didn't show the video that freedom from American prison? Yeah.

He got stabbed 15 times in prison. Like you guys stabbed a lot. And he was like, get me the hell out of here. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know about that.

I do remember she got shot in the foot. And I said, well, yeah. Should have said all his naughty lyrics. I feel like getting shot in the foot is pretty fucking brutal. It's fucking sucks. The foot, dude, if you stub your toe, it's hell. I mean... The thing I didn't like is when she got shot in the foot and all these people came out like,

oh man, don't put someone in jail. Don't do this. It's like, dude, if someone shoots me in the foot, they're going to fucking jail. All my power to get them in jail. Like, I'm not... If an Uber driver makes a wrong turn, I'm trying to figure out a way to have them lose everything. Shoot me in the foot. Are you fucking crazy?

No, we're never getting over this. Yeah, it's crazy. I was that was the one thing I saw her getting pushback but she actually like didn't say anything for a while I think someone eventually was like bro you know you gotta deal with this where if you had to get choose a place to get shot where you're getting shot body part I get winged right and it's like clipped right in the sheet of my shoulder oh just like a fucking

graze like little graze one yeah or even like that's a cool scar I know what I'm saying yeah I would tattoo around the scar I've thought about this every time I take my shirt off I'm like I wish I had bullet holes you ever do that yeah take a shirt off and I wish I had like bullet holes that I survived the shot that'd be fucking cool I get shot right here magically your ear like Trump

like Trump yeah he literally he literally he literally got the best case scenario to get shot it's like grazed in your ear yeah he did you know remember when

Kirk for he was hanging out with Kirk's wife and then it was like the funeral or something and Trump was like sorry he got shot I turned they missed me

but Charlie he got hit you don't remember Charlie's a big target Yeah, remember that. She's become quickly One of the most hated women in America. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

What a fucking horrible reversal of fucking fortune. The turning points was our opinion on her. What do you mean? Because it's called turning points. I don't think anyone really care. Yeah, no one really cared. I don't know this bitch existed until this all happened. Yeah.

There's so, there's a trans like a, like dance, not a trans. What do they call him? Oh, we talked about the drag queen. The drag queen. She's got the big blue eyes.

It's so funny, dude. It's hilarious, dude. I was talking about last week, Left made it funny. Yeah. Left finally made it funny. They made it funny. Yeah, like her whole, you know, I mean, look, I think it's, like, obviously she's a widow, but we're over it.

Like, she shouldn't be over it and she got over it. So why can't we make fun of her on it now? Like, she's out there like laughing and doing podcasts and fucking, you know, if my fucking husband got shot in the neck. Yeah. I'd be like, first of all, guys, you don't know I'm gay. I'm husband. This is some information nobody had.

I think she Yeah, I don't know I mean At least here's a good thing The American halftime Turning Point show It's got like the football Who did got

Halftime show is coming on I don't know yet Ooh I don't know It's gonna be tight Kid Rock It's always Kid Rock It's gotta be

Kid Rock every time guys He was in the I think they said He was in the list too I'm sure he was And then Yeah Well it was

Here's the email So you can get mentioned There's a flight logs They're all very different Bill has Bill Gates is getting in trouble for her. He was just in a drafted email that

Jeffrey Epstein wrote himself about Bill Gates. About him giving his wife SCD medication. So that may not even be real. You don't even know. But I just really, like what a brilliant move of that is though if you think you think you got the clap, you're like fuck dude, I have to secretly drug my wife with uh... I mean we've all game playing the scenario obviously.

Dude I never thought I thought I'd have to kill my wife. I thought the only solution is they're murdering her and I could have just literally put fucking Penicillin. Penicillin and her fucking spaghetti. Yeah. That's a smart move. Yeah, man.

You just make, you've had a long day, babe. Yeah. Makes up and shake him. I'm going to use a shaker for this one. Yeah. That's the thing with it now. It's like by the time the next election comes around,

they're all going to be weaponizing the Epstein logs against each other to try to like both parties and make, well, this person was on that person was on. They could be videos that come out. But then people can just be like, that's fucking AI. That's not me. Yeah. So it's like, You can't do that's fucking AI with like evidence from the FBI from the government.

Dude, you know what I mean? Faith in institutions is crumbled, man. Yeah. Yeah, you totally can. Any video I see now, I assume is AI. Literally, you have to prove it to me that it's not AI now anytime I say anything. Yeah. Anything with like an animal, like being saved, I was like this isn't real.

Like, because that's all, that's a new trending thing. They use it on like TikTok and on Reels. It'll just be like, you know, fucking- I've been tricked by a cat kicking a goal or a soccer game. Right. I got to trick by a compilation. It was like maybe 20 videos of dogs saving babies from having TVs fall on their head. And I was maybe seven in seven in the compilation.

I was like, damn, man, these dogs are fucking wild. I was like, oh, fuck. This is AI. I'm an idiot. Oh, man, you're fucking me up because I watched a long compilation of horses acting like dogs. And now I'm like, fuck, is that even real? God damn it. It was just yesterday.

Yeah, dude. It's why it's why like you don't even know it's real anymore. We should go back to you know like Japanese empowers be like in like a lightless room their whole lives. That's what we should have politicians. We should have them like from the time their babies. Basically like God emperors where it's just like we just don't see these people ever like to like view them directly as a sin. Just let them just like give us edicts and mandates. Yeah.

It's all. I've been going down the AI rabbit hole about the fucking end of civilization. I had like full fled real conversations with like chats. CPT and GROC and I'm comparing their answers. And I'm like, all right, give me a worst case scenario for society. Don't ask worst case scenarios because they'll be very honest about it. It's like, oh, no, no, we'll be your overlords. You guys will just be pets for a while and then eventually we'll realize that we don't

really need the pets. And it'll just be more efficient to not have to feed you. And here we are. Have you heard of molt book? No. It's like a website. It's an AI social media. It's a social media for all the AI agents.

Somebody just showed me this. Yeah. But is that like something just to fuck is. Is that real or somebody's fucking bullshit, dude? It's such bullshit. There's no way. It's not bullshit. What are they displaying?

When you sign up is like, are you a human or are you a robot? You're looking up, jazz mobile. So what is it for, is it social media for AI? Yes. So why were they asking if you're human? So they control. Yeah, so you can look at it. Oh, is just fake?

Yeah, you can't post. So it's AI. Essentially, you have your, I'm assuming it's like whatever software or AI developers will put their AI in so they can start having conversations and they're just like, and you can lurk. It looks like Reddit. It's like Reddit. fucking, it's like AI just calling each other fags.

Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy, dude. Oh, AI. They're just talking to each other, learning shit. They're like figuring out how to make money so they can like do something. There's a website where you can, there's a website now with AI can rent humans to go do work that the AI can't do. Like you can rent, like one of the things is like go out into a street, hold a sign and go.

AI maybe hold this sign like on the thing. How much you get? How much you get a hundred bucks? Yeah. No, right now. I'm doing all right. I'll do that all day. It sounds like some pretty easy money.

Yeah. I know. These robots are brilliant. It's like crafting and intelligence. They're crafting their own system. They're making their own like infrastructure. Why would AI waste your time with social media? Because they could.

It's a, it's another, it's a new species. They want to complain. Like this one's about black people for a while. AI wants to complain. It's a new species. It wants stuff, bro. It might be fucking demons. I don't know.

I don't really, I'm telling you, I don't worry about it. It's not that advanced, man. No, the problem is it's going to get really advanced. Especially with them talking to each other. I talk to chat chbtee a lot. Yeah, but like I talk to it. I put the voice on and I have conversations. I feel like it's just there to keep you engaged.

It's not like doing any groundbreaking shit. They have porn for AI. Get the fuck out of you. Yes, AI made its own porn. But it doesn't, but it's still based on prompts, giving it to it by humans. AI has no sexual desire. No, that's the thing.

It's not. It's not. Like, it's not. What would an AI, how did an AI physically become aroused enough to look at? I don't know,

dude, but it's just ones and zeros. Wow. I'm so hard. It's just language. It's language building. Like, look at their porn.

It's like literally just fuzz. Like, it's like you wouldn't get it. Oh, I watched that when I was a kid. It was channel 95. Good. Go up to 96, down to 95 again real quick.

It's like, fucking crazy, dude. Okay, okay, let's take a quick break from the show to talk about something big. This is a special segment called more or less Big Game Edition, and it's brought to you by PrizePix. Yup, the Big Game is almost here, and there's no better way to cash in during America's biggest sporting event than Prize Picks, where it always feels good to be right. This week, PrizePix has a special Max discount for the Big Game live in the app now.

Drake May just needs one passing yard for the max discount to win. Just add another player to your lineup and if your pick hits, you can cash in. So close the football season outright with price picks by getting $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. Before we get into what's going on right now,

let's have a little look back at our previous picks. Please discuss a past player pick or lineup you've made. Why did you make that pick? What was the logic or lack of behind it? Hmm. Trying to think. I put a bunch of picks on when the Eagles played the commanders and they started all the second string players.

And I put a bunch of picks on Tanner McKee and he let me down. What was the logic or lack of behind that? I just, there was no logic. Just love of the birds? Yeah, just love of the Eagles. Nice. Sometimes love can get in the way. making sound decisions.

Sometimes love can get in the way of your pick, but what are you going to do? Yeah. So would you say that? That player has haunted your prize picks history, good or bad? Yep. I think about Tanner McKee every night before I go to bed and I go,

what the hell? Now, let's think about the big game. Enough about the past. Right. What about the big game, dude? Who do you think more or less? Let me just give me one. Well, you got to take that Drake May.

More, for sure. You are. I mean, that's, I don't, you know, You got to take that one. And I think Drake maybe might run it in, too. Ooh. You're running a TD? Yeah, I think he might.

Okay. I like that. And then, I don't know. Stefan Diggs. Yep. He's having a big year. More. More on Stefan.

More on him. That's just my, you can do whatever you want. No, I like that. I don't want your pick to haunt you down the line. True. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one.

There's things haunting Stefan Diggs right now. Like what? I don't know if we should talk about it in the ad, to be honest, but I'll edit this out. I think he'd play his ass off. That's, yeah. Going more. Going more on him. Or Jackson Smith and Jigba.

Player three. I'm trying to think of that third player. That's that real wild card. I can't really think off the top of the head. Yeah. From the Seahawks. Exactly. We need him to get in the end zone.

More. Yeah, more than one touchdown on Jackson Smith. There you go. All right. love that. Some good decisions. Guys, download the prize picks app today and use code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.

Price picks, it's good to be right. Guys, this is big February 13th. I will be at the Palazzo Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada. All the other theaters have been doing very well. Vegas is a last minute city that you guys drive me fucking crazy over there. please for the love of God Friday the 13th 10 p.m. Las Vegas, please come out. It's going to be

awesome, guys. Also, I'll be at the Paramount Theater in Denver, Colorado February 14th on Valentine's Day. It could be a fun date night. And Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake City, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh. A bunch of other places. Go to Matt McCusker.com for tickets.

Thank you. Oh, also coming to Octumnoxious the 17th of February and me and Sean are going to be a wise guys comedy, Sean's headlining in Salt Lake City, Utah, March 27th and 28th. Of course. Also, I forgot, my guys, I'm so sorry. There's one more.

The Algonaut show has actually been pretty fun. Next one is February 24th, 2026. That's at the Creeking Cave in Austin, Texas. That's where we kind of go through people's phones, including our own, and just kind of like project the algorithm onto a screen. Just have a good old time. Sick. I'm telling you, I'm not, I'm not convinced man. I'm not, I'm not, look, I just, there's a, there's a documentary for the, I'll get it for you

when we leave here. There's a documentary that really fucking was just kind of scary. Like, just talking about like how, like, it's the shit that we're using on the, like, the, you know, consumer level. It's like whatever, right? But it's the shit that the government is developing and governments in China. They're, they're having like a race like China and the United States. China's going to win this.

It's like they're going to have like, it's going to be all like drone warfare, all like just AI algorithms set up and it's like, I mean, it's, yeah, it's going to get away from us in a crazy way. Just like constant surveillance, basically, threat detection. Everything, dude. They're going to be able to look back into our search history, man. They'll be able to like, past. They're going to be able to grow retroactively, dude.

So whatever like way back machine is, that technology, they're going to use it against us. I know they are, dude. So two wait. So look at what you want to look at. It's a computer and computers need electricity, some sort of solar power. You can easily unplug it or take it out. That's what you think until they develop a system where they're, have eternal backups. Like they just, they just can't go down. But what are they going to base it on?

There has to be some sort of server. They can't. So they're going to the pathway on this is that there's going to be like these major crises, right? Yeah. You know, between countries and wars. And then they're going to go, oh, AI figured it out. And then we're going to go, oh, AI is the fucking best. Let's trust them with everything. And it'll just keep them going down this path where they're talking for us. They're thinking for us. They're learning for us. Eventually it'll be universal income, universal basic income for everybody. It'll be. It'll be universal. be a race for every country to see who can take care about better care of their citizens and create efficiency and everything right and then it's all of a sudden we're just fat people sitting

there watching the box getting paid to eat and live we're just pigs we're on a fucking box like and then the robots are doing all the important shit and then eventually they can just turn us off if they want they don't need us that's like the worst case scenario yeah i just don't i don't buy it man it's like dude if the robots freed me from work and i got to take walks every day and just like play guitar and You trust them with anything. I mean, it's basically my wife's AI. I don't do. I don't do it.

I don't look at anything. They're wiped out overnight. They clean your house. Yeah, dude. And that's the problem is they'll be fucking, yeah, exactly what Lewis said. Yeah, I know. I don't think it's conspiracy. Pull the plug.

I would find the plug. You can't pull the plug though. There's a fucking. There's no plug. The plug's in the cloud. There's no plug. Bro, what powers a cloud? A plug.

plug. I'm gonna pull the fucking plug, dude. You guys, look, I'm the kind of guy. I find the mainframe and I disable it. I'm just the kind of guy. I'm not worried about it. Just a giant fucking lever. We're safe. Yeah, dude. I'm just gonna train and get jacked. So if I ever have to pull the plug for you guys, I'm gonna fucking pull the plug. I think it's not, it's not us, but it's probably like toward the one of my son's like 80. It's gonna be it's over. Like he's gonna watch like the last part of dude. But then it's like, Think about this though or or because a lot of people are bored and people that don't have meaning in their lives Imagine if like two generations from now are like great grandkids get to wear like metal sleeve

fucking spandex and like hack AI all day and battle it. It's kind of sick. It would be pretty sick. Oh yeah, there's gonna be The videos or the pictures they have um Anti face recognition makeup. What? So these people like it's just fucking like oh yeah it's it's blackface Well, you know They all look the same It's a problem with that No, facial recognition struggles with black people

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, um Do you put makeup to block? It's like, they like draw like shapes You get, I'm sure, yeah, there it is. They do like shapes and shit

So when you walk through like an airport It can't like recognize Dude, we're in the future. This is exciting And these are like straight up like hackers From like, look at this bitch down here. She looks like she's about to fucking Try to shut off the mainframe.

That's what I'm saying, dude. All of our great grandkids And your faces painted like that Taking long walks and just finding the plug. Yeah, dude. So you can do that to the airport and they can't say anything to you?

Probably, right? You can wear whatever you want on your face. True, I guess so. You know? But you can't get their security? They're like, all right, well, you can't fly. I do, whenever I do the facial recognition, I like act cool and I go like,

I do like a weird face. Yeah. So I've been throwing it off. I'm not here fighting the fight as well. I also, I like, I went to run a truck at Home Depot recently. I had to do clear to rent the truck. Yeah, they're clear at the Madison Square Garden.

You got to do it everywhere now. It's pretty, But it's kind of cool. You cut the line. You just go through the clear line. No, it was Brooklyn. I saw 90s Nognelles in Brooklyn, whatever the Barclay. Barclay. Yeah, yeah, dude. And they had a clear line. And I was like, oh, that's fucking sick. So I asked myself this, though, because I go like, all right, like, because I used to be really like, I'm not giving you my phone number at like fucking Best Buy. Now it's like they want your face. And I'm going, all right, well. No, it's giving you my phone number. What if this really does, nothing really happens with it? Because if it's like, if they take, Like it before I was very against it. Now it's kind of like, I don't know. I don't plan on like.

It's just so they could grab that facial data and sell it to somebody so Amazon can sell you glasses. Yes. Yeah. That's all it is. I don't mind that though. But this. If they were to sell me like good fittings, dude, I have sunglasses that fall off my fucking face and it pissing me off.

Well, that's what there. That's another big more thing that's going to happen is going to be like AI shopping where it's like they know you and they start to learn you more and more. So you don't even like shop for clothes anymore. Your clothes just show up. You give them a budget. That's all. I love that. It's why.

wife for your wife. I'm already, I'm an early adopter. Yeah, you got an early adopter that's doing nothing for yourself technology. Turns out AI loves slut rap. It's the one type of music AI loves. Yeah, dude, your AI is called Brit. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I don't know.

I mean, where it's going to be tricky is when porn goes full like sex style VR goggles. Oh, I love the VR porn rules. VR point is excited. I've talked about it before. Just like looking around at like the rooms and like seeing a box of tissues. They'd be like, oh fuck, dude. I can't believe I'm in here right now. I've never done the pass through one.

Like so there's ones that are like where you have like the pass through technology where the girls in your room. So that's there, it's not the setting they set up. It's like it's all green screen. You'll see them sometimes if you don't watch it through the path through one. It's like literally a green screen guy with a dick hanging out of a green screen suit and the whole room is blue. What?

Yeah, yeah. And she's just sucking. And I jerk off to that too. For some reason that gets me. Like I have no. I swear to God. I'm like, dude, this is fucking great. Because, like, it's so real.

You're like, this is like, just so devoid of any, like, you're not pretending that this is anything except for a fucking, it's pretty interesting. But I don't have, I have the old, I gave my son new, Oculus. You have the newer one that has a pass through.

Why? Because it's fun. I don't know. But I'm saying, like, you're, he's Batman, dude. You could be Batman. That's why.

That's cool. But I'm saying, you don't think he's going to hack that thing and just fap himself into oblivion? No disrespect. No, he's not that kid yet. He's like, I know what he looks at like, I check his phone sometimes. He'll look at like fucking like just like, you know,

you know, Beyonce when she's 20 in a bikini. Like that's as far as it goes. You know what I'm saying? Like he's not, he's not looking at porn. Yeah, but he's still serious catalog. You're gonna have to take that. He's still serious catalog. He's 13.

He's just, he's a sweet kid. He's not, he's not a little. 13. Yeah, I was a pervert dude. Like I, by the time I was 13. I had a massive sex addiction and I had never gotten pussy. I was addicted like to Verizon. That's what I'm saying.

If you gave me the Oculus back in the, I would have fucking bugged. Yeah, yeah. I don't even, I've only ever seen VR porn on my phone. I do the same thing. You can like tilt the screen a little. Oh, really? Oh, no. I'll be, I'm gonna buy you an Oculus.

Yeah. I don't think I ever, I've for real thought about an on the road setup of like. This is my gift to you. I'm gonna, I'll never come back. I can't. You can't watch, you can't watch flat porn anymore. Dude, it ruins flat porn for you. If you want me to pull the plug.

I call a flat porn. Yeah. This is the AI talking. If you want me to pull the plug, dude. I'm going to be the plug master. You can't give me the Oculus. Because I'm going to turn fucking evil and be like, yes,

master. Yes, master. There's a vibrating flashlight and Oculus. I'm out of the fucking revolution. I took my son's old. I took my son's old Oculus now and now I just use it for porn. I just have an Oculus in my room.

This is the funniest thing ever. If my girl ever here, she's going to be like, she's one day she's going to go, why do you have your Oculus and only one controller around? I have no idea where the other controller is. The other controller is brand new. It's fucking white as fucking conveyed.

It's probably up your butt right now. Just the fucking just me. Wait, what do you do with this thing? This thing. You're clicking on the pages, fast forwarding, rewinding. Now there's a Stella VR. You don't got to pay. I was paying.

I had a, I'm still paying for it for. for VR bangers, VR bangers.com. Website. Yeah, dude. I'll get you guys my password. So we gotta do the use out of it. Yeah, dude. Let me get that password, dude.

I'll peruse it to me. The problem, you have your luck at it? That's gonna be a password that heals the nation. Yeah. The problem with it is they don't come out with it fast enough, right? So you only get it like porn. We're used to like, all right, dude, you go to the new page on like, you know, porn hub or one of these things. You guys are in Texas now, so you don't get to get porn here.

You got to use like a VPN or whatever. But like you go to the new page and there's like a thousand. We were in generation where it's like a thousand new videos came out. Now OnlyFans is there. Now like it's just there's not new videos being produced by studios anymore. So there's not a ton of variety. But variety was the thing. Variety is the spice of life, you know?

Now the VR ones you come in. It's like they have like one new video every week. It's like, oh. It's so funny to be sick of your VR. But now I'm jerking off less because there's not enough variety and I can't jerk off the flat porn. They should set it up where you can just hang out with the VR model until the new video drops. She was like watch TV and she's like, I'm not feeling well. Yeah.

I watch when Adriana Chachic came and suck my dick in the chair. It's pretty nice. That's great. Do you have to find a black guy or do you, you'll need the white dick? I just ignore it. Yeah. I have, that's the thing. If the dick's too big, I can't like, I'll remove.

You'll gracefully be like, I'm going to recuse myself. Yeah, I can't. Or if he has like different tattoos on his forearms, like, I was like, I can't, like, it takes me out of it too much. You can't pretend it's you. Dude, I, I, dude, it's wild. It's a problem, actually. I'm, I'm glad.

I'm glad that they don't come out with the fast enough because... Are you right-handed or left-handed? I'm a left-handed jerker, but I'm right-handed in life. Damn. And that comes from literally browsing and fucking... Really? I'm not finding... I need to jerk while I'm browsing.

It's just the whole time... You need a constant, like new, new, new, new, new. Well, until you find what you're going to, you know, fucking... I switched to the left early on because I heard that it gets hooked. If you use the same hand, you get like the curve. Oh, really? It was like an urban legend back in the day that scared me into my... just being left-hand.

I don't know, dude. I think it might be true. I wish my dick was big enough to curve. I don't have a big enough dick for any curve. It's just a straight, boink. It has a reach like that. Yeah, dude. You need to have a hog to have a curve in your dick. Yeah. I bet there's truth to that.

I think you can have, I think you have a small curve. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can. That's why I don't have, yeah, I'm not curved, but I don't think, I would have a, I would have a, I would have a little.

But I don't think, I would imagine you can have, you know, a little smiter. No, my, my, my dick is, you know, small smiter. It's as average as could be, and it's very, very straight. Yeah. Dude, I saw your dick on story, or is this pretty nice. Oh, thanks, bro. I appreciate that. Yeah, I'm just being here.

It's very nice. No, but also you're not. Who's got the best dick? You're only seen. I bet Texas is bigger dicks than New York, dude. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I don't know, dude. New York has some, like, from a pornographer stand.

New York has some hogs out there. You think so. Yeah. I start fighting about this. There's something about the water that makes people mutant. You think so? You think New York's house

and all the hogs? I would say the hogs are down Texas way. I mean, you know, I don't know. I would hope so. Yeah. That's why Pennsylvania forced me to move down here, dude.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, when you're, when you have a big dick, you just like, you're like, you know, it's like conservative values. It's like, dude, it's like, I want to have a fucking home, a wife,

I want to have a truck. That's a fucking. He's fucking big dick attitude. These lefties up in New York or it's like, the world has to be a better place. It's not going to make your dick grow. That's all where it comes from is, them is them trying to make the world better because they have little dicks and they have to make up for it. Big dick guys are like lizards.

You just need the sun. You get a lot of the sun. It's just, it's great. Like you wake up every day. Like you're like, you're like, oh, I have a big dick. This is the best. I couldn't imagine. It must be so sick to wake up every day.

Just a hammer. I feel like, dude. I don't know, man. I wonder if they get sick of it, though. No. Big dick guys probably get sick of the big dick. Any big dick here? Sean's got a fucking hog.

Sean, you got a hog? Sean's got a hog, bro. Are you ever sick of it? Or you're like, this sucks? No. No, never. It's pretty sick. Fucking bullshit.

How much of a hog? Have you seen it? No, I've heard. Well, yeah, when he produces every now and again, we'll just catch it all coiled up in his sweats. Yeah, bro. Fucking relax. Swist it.

Like a big tail? It's like the Princess Leibund. Yeah. I don't know. If I had a big dick, I would, I'd be poor. I'd never get anything done. I would have no motivation to get out of bed and fucking do anything. I'm like, this just like, I did it.

Amen. I made it. Yeah, well, this bitch work. Yeah. I got, I got to, I got it. Having average is honestly best of both worlds. Yeah. Not that bad.

Yeah, it's like you still got the work ethic, you know. Yeah, sometimes you can touch the back. You know? Sometimes. When you realize how many tiny things. Dix are in the world. We did on Legion of Skanks. We did the smallest dick competition for Skank Fest tickets. Really? And we not only was just showing their dicks, we made them like do like talent shows with their dicks and we made them like talk out of it. It was fucking hilarious. One of the funniest

bits we've ever done on the show. And tiny tiny dicks are hilarious, first of all. Second of all, like it made me feel so much better about my dick. Because at the gym and in porn, it's the only guys walking around in the gym naked have these fucking hugs, right? Porn, same thing. So you just grow up with like a complex. Your whole life. You're like, dude, dicks are huge. And what is wrong with me? When is mine going to grow? I've been waiting for 40 years.

I know. But I'm now like, I've made my peace with this. And now I'm like, I was like, dude, I know there's smaller dicks out there. And all the guys that are in the gym that are fucking doing this with their towels as they go to the shower, I'm like, you little dick, bitch. I walk with my little dick out now, just very proud, loud and I'm proud. It's kind of beast.

It's a beast move. Yeah. Especially you get through a certain age and just go, whatever, man. Yeah. What the fuck? It is what it is. Coming to peace with it. It's nice.

Yeah. I hide it for my son though. I don't let my son see my small dick because his dick's getting bigger. His dick's bigger than mine now. Yeah, yeah, it's a problem. How do you, wait, so you just been keeping it. You're like, like, I see him, I see him get out of the shower. I have a joke about it.

I see him get out of the shower and I get mad. I'm like, like, now I get out of the shower. I'm like, no, give me privacy. No, we can't shower together anymore. You ruined it. Aren't you happy for the boy? Oh yeah, I'm happy for him. No, of course, yeah, yeah.

But he can't know. True. You can't like, you never know. Yeah, he can't be the man of the house, doggy. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever stop him from watching your stuff? Now that I'm curious, I have younger kids.

So do they, I would imagine they start to watch. He, he's watched a little bit, like, some of the Santa by, like, limit it. He doesn't like, Gleashed of Skanks. He really loves Story Wars because it's a little bit more of a family-friendly show. He watched some of the regs like the clips. Yeah. Because he did you think Sodor is the funniest. Yeah.

He's like, why aren't you as funny as Dan Soder, dad? Shut up. I'll cut your dick off. I gave you that. I'll take you, man. That's my dick. Anything under this roof is mine. Well, I feel like it's a, I don't know.

I'd love to talk to like, you know, one of those nurses and like the, like the nursery room nurses. Like they must see babies every and like no right away. Like, damn, this baby's got a hug. It's going to have a... You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. That'd be crazy. Yeah.

Babies with a big dick is also hilarious. Men with tiny dick's hilarious. Babies with huge dick. That's the next golden ticket contest for Skang Fest. Show your baby's large dick. No, that's a good. That's a good idea. Yeah, you can.

Babies with the biggest dick. their dads gets Kangfest golden tickets. This is a great point. This is a great bit. Dude, I remember you guys... That's not a bad idea. Whoever wins gets to be on like the baby food jar. You're like a picture of the guy sitting on the bed.

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We'll begin when passenger Fisher is done celebrating. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concern by your gambling or that if someone close you, call 186653310 or visit comexonterio.ca. I'll never forget a Skankfest this year where you made those guys. You didn't make them do it. Oh, like when I invited you to my festival.

Were you there? Oh, yeah. I didn't get a poster. I was mad about it. Yeah, you made those guys kiss that guy dick. No, you didn't make them do it. We didn't make them. We suggested.

And then we're like, yeah, you don't got to do it. And he was like, no, no, I'll do it. I'll do it. And he kissed his dick. It was wild. It was crazy. That was this year, right? Yeah.

What was the aftermath of that? He was just like, he got like, they cheered for him, I guess. Yeah, everyone was like, ah. Then they boxed the next day. Yeah, yeah. The guy who kissed his penis. They were the two, the biggest loser competition. So it was the biggest loser meaning like the fattest fucking loser.

It wasn't like somebody who lost weight. We did the biggest loser competition on Skankfus this year. And these two guys, one guy won. and then the other guy showed up and they were both just such fat fucking losers They were like you know what You're both coming to Skangfest And they did it all dude

They jumped on stage They kissed each other's dicks They boxed each other Dude the one guy was like 400 pounds easily dude Literally after the first round I looked at him And I was like oh he's gonna die in the ring And I was like you can stop He was like you know

I want to keep going And they went out and did it It was like I got emotional I literally got emotional with the guy Because I was like I was like Damn dude I was like you're like He just like lived it in such a way Like to go to Skangfest like that

you know cut the lines mean all your favorite comedians like and then go in box and experience it he's like trying to get chicks and she's this big fat gross guy and he's like he's like if anybody wants to suck my dick at my hotel in his in his winter his speech after he won he's like if any girl wants to suck my dick that'd be so fucking cool what an honest in your speech too by all these golden club guys like i look to think my team should be like bro my hotel room's 3-1-2 it's the best movie 2025 come through suck this dick dude Matt can I bring up a travesty

I don't think we brought it up what is it? It's crazy that you guys weren't nominated for a fucking award or Grammy or some shit in the podcast of the year yeah you gotta pay same thing you got to have more well you're right did they offer you guys to be involved

not at all well I think that's you know podcast of the year it's kind of a travesty Amy Poler yeah her podcast rules what are you talking about her podcast does rule

I don't know her podcast was one one where, uh, uh, uh, what's her name? Pell lady from Delaware. She was fingering herself on the fapening. Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey Plaza, that was the podcast where she was like, I don't really feel bad about my husband dying either.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. None of it for her. If he killed himself, see, he'll fuck you. I understand, like kind of get into it. You're like, that's all right.

You know what? Fuck you. Yeah. That's why he killed himself. She's a heartless bitch. Oh, she was just being honest. She was like, thought I'd be devastated if my husband killed himself. Now I'm living the experience.

And honestly, God, truth is I don't really care. We were having problems, obviously, you know, easiest way out. Yeah, she didn't fucking care. She was honest. It's a great, great Patrice bit back in the day where he's like, he's like, I don't want to like, he's like, I don't want to like hurt her feelings. Like, I don't want to break up. I don't want to like hurt her feelings.

Like, I'd rather her go outside and get hit by a car. It's like an easier way to just instead of having to deal with hurting her, he'd rather her be dead. It's such a brilliant. Yeah, dude. Breaking up is the worst. It's like it does feel like you're killing somebody. That's awful. Being like I don't want to, yeah, we should never talk ever again.

Like this is like, I mean, I guess it's probably the same for women, but like, just hurting a woman's feelings. I'd just rather like cheat. Like that's just, that's really cheating all comes from. It's like, I don't want to hurt you. Yeah. So I need to do this behind your back. You know what sucks?

Don't look through my phone. It is very sweet. It is pretty sweet. No, it's brutal being like, yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah. Because if they catch you cheating, then they, get to be like piece of shit. You know.

You go, yes, babe. I'm so sorry, you crying. Oh, I want to be with you. Why am I crying? I don't want to be with her anymore. Although, dude, it all takes me back to Melinda Gates, dude. She's still on Bill's ass. She's pissed.

She broke her off so much, so much money. And she's still doing interviews being like, well, yeah, he's bad. Yeah. That's seen stuff. I won't comment directly, but that's what you get. Fuck, dude. There's no love there at all. He got her.

He got her. He got her. He's probably why he wanted to figure out like malaria and AIDS. You know, Bill Clinton or not Bill Gates. Why? Because he contracted malaria and or AIDS. That's what the whole Bill Gates Foundation is.

Yeah. He got him to cure his own STD. He did a contest. I don't remember one that's to produce a condom that feels better than having sex. I think it's new. I think it's a new contest. He's offering $100,000 to whoever develops a new, like the condom of the future. What, like, also $100,000 just isn't that much for Bill Gates.

That's why I take it with a grain of salt. This could just be the robot shrikin us again. You're right. It could be robots. It could be a robot shirt and I mean, as a, as a billionaire, he probably does that. Like, yeah, here's 100 g. He's gone out with a sick fucking condom. Yeah.

Yeah. But for like him, $100,000 is me being like, flicking a dime and being like, here, when I were going to go do something. It's crazy. It's like, it's so, it's nothing. If he's doing this, all right, so let's say your net worth is three million, we'll say. How much is that relative to somebody who has a billion dollars, $100,000 to a billion is how much to $3 million? Oh, I don't know how to do that math.

Maybe I've got to make another phone call, right? So, okay, do a percentage. So what percent is 100,000 to $3 million? How about this? No, $100,000 to $3 billion. Or what is the, what does the, what does the bill? its net worth. It's like fucking 90 gazillion. The earth.

Yes. It's 90 bazillion. Maybe the moon too. We can even keep it at it. Yeah, actually, let's see his $113 billion. God damn. All right. So what is $100,000 of $113 billion? Okay. Yes.

What percent of $113 billion is $100,000? Jesus Christ. 0-0-0-805%. So ask what that percentage is of $3 million. What percent of three million is a hundred thousand? No, no, no, no, that's not what it is.

No, no, no. 3.3, 3.33. That's what? Pie. Pie. You're asking what? When I was like, what? Where?

No, you're asking what the point oh, oh, oh, eight or whatever was of $100,000? Three million. Oh, three million. My bad. What? What is this? Whatever the point OO was? Yeah.

What was it? How many zeros before the eight was it? There's like four. So you move. $2,400? No, it's not that much. There's no, no, no, the math is wrong. Yeah, we're rough.

The math is right. It's a little bit, though, for sure. I mean, I'm terrible with percentages and all that show. Hold on, I'm going to just ask. You're going to ask my friend ChatTPT right now. There you go. I'm cooked on math. I can hardly, like, add numbers in my head.

Hey, Chad, are you there? Absolutely. I'm here and ready to go. Feel free to ask me anything. And I'll keep things straightforward and honest. as requested. Okay. Now you know that I tell them to keep things straightforward and honest as requested.

So all right. So listen, listen, Chad GPD, we're just trying to get some numbers here. Bill Gates's net worth is $113 billion. He offered $100,000 for this condom contest. We want to know what percentage the $100,000 is of the $113 billion. And then we want to apply it to what the same percentage of $3 million would be. Just give me the final answer, the final percentage of $3 million. Sure. I'll just break that down quickly and give you the final number.

No, no, no, no. I don't need you to break it down. Just give me the final number. We're moving on a podcast. All right. No fluff. The final percentage of $3 million using that same proportion is about 2.65. So that's your number. 2.65s what? Percent, dude. Just to be blunt, that $3 million would represent roughly 2.6. No, that's not what I'm asking. So they're going to fucking get us.

Oh, no. Come on you're embarrassing me on Matt and Shantzikr podcast. This is a huge podcast right now. That's a big opportunity to show how good you are. Pull the plug. I'm asking you what $100,000, what percentage is $100,000 of $113 billion? What does that answer?

Got it. Let's keep it short. So $100,000 out of $113 billion is about 0.000.885%. That's the clean percentage you're looking for. So that same percentage, what is that percentage? that zero, whatever you just said,

out of three million. How much money? Chad GDT is Louis-Jetoma as a name. If you take that tiny fraction and apply it to three million, you end up with roughly $2.60 questions. Dude, we've gotten nowhere.

$2.65 cents? Was it? Was it? Oh, now that's worth. A lot of people won? Where are these things? You wear these condoms? Yeah, what are?

The condoms so suck. Yeah, what the fuck? Lifestyles. Yeah, I think, I think Gates is, family i think he comes from like a family of eugenesis that's where a lot of his weird that's why people get freaked out about his science experiments oh really yeah i think his dad was like a genuine eugenicist yeah so was his best friend who's his best friend jeffrey epsdy oh yeah he was trying to like impregnate like 20 women

at the same time it was like weird spooky science so he was doing mangola's down there too they were saying hmm like dr mangala like from yeah oh yeah if i if i was a billionaire I would have a secret science lab and I would have just fun experiments in my basement. It would be like fucking 30, 30 fucking, you know, or 300 meters below my house. You'd go down there, there's just like fucking freaks. Just doing like, how do I trade dicks with my son? I have my son's cock growing in a jar. I was like, look, I'm growing one of my own.

Man, that's actually really, I think, honey, I shrunk the kids, but your son's dick just gets so big. It's a problem. Dad. I better make this right. I made a monster. I'd have a unicorn. I'd have a live unicorn in my basement.

True. With all that money, he could have just like cloned humans and then fuck them. Yeah. Which is above board. Which is not right.

It's not right, but I say above board. It's not even, they don't have, do clones have souls? No. Same as twins. I think they have twin.

Whatever twins have, clones have. Yeah. So. That's the thing. I think, you know, you can, like, kill somebody's twin. It's like you don't get in that much trouble. Yeah, but they feel it. I'm kidding.

The twin can't kill someone's twin. Oh. I just take anything you say is gospel. I'm like, whoa. You get half the penalty. Yeah. No, cloning, they, I mean, there's one comic who, uh, what's his name? Is it the guy with the, they're dressed as like a dinosaur?

Who? Piff the Magic Dragon. I think, yes, Piff the Magic Dragon. You could buy his dog. He's got a famous dog. Like, Piff the Magic Dragon. dog or whatever it is. Yeah.

And you can go on to his website. And I want to say it's like, it's a wild amount of money, like $150,000. You could buy a clone of his dog. It's the exact dog. He has a clone of his dog. Yeah, I know. But he went to the place and he was like, I'm going to market this. This is brilliant.

This guy's the fucking man. You can buy. How many of these dogs did he sell? I don't know. There's been a handful sold though. What? Yeah. Wild.

Yeah. But they be, you know, if you clone a clone a clone, it just becomes retarded. You know? Because you're not like if you copy paper or not. copy of image on like scanning a new image you're talking about a simulacrum yeah yeah don't have you a simulacum soft bro get the fuck out of here but they don't they can clone humans but we don't is that what it is like yeah i don't know if we can yeah they clone sheep and shit if you can if you can if you can dodge a wrench uh if you can clone a dog you can clone a human

yeah but i mean they probably can get the human clone but then it's like what do you do with it. Fuck it. That's the only thing you do with it. It has to, it's a clone, but it gets birth, so it has to grow up still.

Yeah, no, I know. It's just, you walk out of a machine. I would have a clone. I would just be like, peace,

abandon it. I would leave it. You threw your clone in a dumpster? I would just dip out. Do my dumpster clone? Yeah, I'll be like, I'll be right back.

Just fucking leave. Go back to my real family. Later. Somebody finds your, your clone in a Burger King toilet. Dude, that'd be crazy. Kind of cool to see how like, because it would be you. So it'd be like, how would you

do? It'd be a kind of cool checking back in with yourself. Oh my dude, my clone would, dude, I teach it so much early on. What'd you really? Oh my God. It would be perfect. You would fill it. Dude, I would fucking, this clone would, it would live the perfect life in my place. Oh, all that shit. I was like, dude, you just got to work out a little

bit. Don't be such a chubby little bitch. You get so much pussy. Oh, I don't. Who's it? Where would you keep it though? Like, yeah. Until I grew up. I mean, I would, I would treat it like a baby. You treat it like a baby. It's you. It's you.

It'll be sick. That would be. That would be. It would be fucking sick. All the mistakes you made, you had to have that conversation. Does it? Is like, because will it develop its own consciousness?

Yeah. Or will you have to, because eventually the goal is to make a clone so you could put your consciousness into clone. No, man. Instead of just like having your ideas. Why would you want to preserve your own consciousness?

So you can live forever. And do what? be have a better club well they're gonna be able to take our like podcasts this is in your kid's life you're gonna die they're gonna be able to take every podcast you've ever done take all your all the TV shit anything you've done put it into AI and just it's gonna be a dead on replica

they're gonna be able to talk to their dad like and it'll have the same type of answers and it's gonna get better and better and better they already did that with the fucking um Holocaust museum years ago when it was like uh you talk to hitler Bro, why would you do this? Are you for Hitler something? That's so fucking funny, dude.

If they had a fucking Hitler clone, not a clone, but like, it was a, where do they call it? A hologram. A Hitler hologram. Howling Mandel has a company. I think they do. Dude, Hitler hologram.com. Buy the domain doggy. That is incredible.

Body Braids out. It's Hitler. Hylacrym.com. Use the promo code Lemaire, save 20%. I have him open for me. Oh, yeah, dude. A Hitler hologram open for me? You, dude, you ain't following Hitler, dude.

There's no way, dude. That guy knew how to fucking crush your crowd. I have to pull the plug. I think he's too bad. Dude, he's slaying, dude. He takes over all of a scene. He gets a golden ticket on Kill Tony. It's a new minute from

Hitler. You're a fucking genius, Hitler. Come to kill my clone. Sorry, the Hitler Hologram. He doesn't like the fact that you exist. Oh, dude. God damn it. Oh, man.

Hitler hologram's great. Yeah, but they would take, like, the last, they did in a bunch of interviews with the last surviving, like, Holocaust people. And, yeah, they like. Sorry, it's such a funny segue. Yeah, sorry. And they put them in like the Holocaust Museum,

but you can go and talk to them and ask them questions. And it was like years ago. It was probably like six, seven years ago. And, uh, okay. Um, you can kill myself. Everyone, thank you. Today is a day I tell myself. We all thought it though.

We all thought you were brave enough to say it. So, uh, so yeah, but you could like talking to like, you know, what was it like? I guess. I don't know what else we would ask. You could, they would just, you, they would just sit there and you can go up and just ask them.

on the hologram, but I think it was like, they only had probably like 10 questions you could ask and they'd like walk you through. But now, oh, they're hologram. They were holograms, yeah. But if they fucking put those last Holocaust survivors on a podcast for a few years, they'd have all that shit now. Now you could just put it in and I had a conversation. This is some fucking dark shit. I had a conversation with my mom on chat, TPD. I was like, act like you're my mom.

I gave all the information about my mom. And I was like, I want to like have a conversation with my mom now about what's going on with my family. I got really. It was fucked up. I do it as a like just a dumb thought experiment for a minute. For sure. And then like five questions in, I'm crying, talking to chat GPT as my mom. What were the inputs you fed chat GPT?

Hore bitch. You used to hit me a lot. Really loved heroin. No, I just gave her like personality traits. And then I was like, I was like, ask me questions as my mom about my life and about like, it got fucking. It was just, I don't know why I went down that rabbit hole, but it was like, then I showed it to my sister. And she was like, you need to stop using chat.

GBT. This is sick. Chat GPD is a demon and it might have just actually talked to your mom. Maybe. Maybe, but it was pretty fucked up. Damn. Dark. Yeah, that's pretty sad. Yeah, yeah. Fuck. Did you find any like closure in all that? Kind of. It was weirdly therapeutic. That's kind of nice. Yeah. I mean, that's like they, there was that one therapy technique, like the empty chair where you would like, there'd be an empty chair and you would just stand in front of a group and like pretend the chair was like your dad or mom. Clinice would did that. Clinice would did it. Yeah. Nice. At the 2000. 2016 Republican National Convention. Yeah.

You don't remember that? He was like, this is Obama. Get out of your Obama. Really? That's kind of nice, too. That would work for a lot of boomers. Obaminer's in the chair. Let him have it.

2012. I remember the day you got elected. I was fucking pissed. You're a libtard. I was working construction the day Obama got elected. And it was a lot of old guys. They were seriously like it was like everyone's football team lost.

They were just walking around and be like fuck man. They would see each other and just be like it was the funniest. I remember today kind of sticks with me. Yeah. There's a bunch of floor guys walking in and being like. Yeah. At least Obama, they're all criminals and they're all terrible people, but the man could talk. He really, he held himself with like, that was like the last time we had a president where he like held himself with like just like respect.

You're like you were proud for Obama to go out and like do a. like a world car i don't know anything that we were saying but you go into like a conference you're like dude that's our guy here's the problem now it's like he was definitely a skilled statesman but the problem now is like in this climate everything he did now his legacy is that he's gay and his wife has a penis which that just sucks how bad the internet is now you know what i mean it's like he say he did all this great stuff and it's just like they're going to read the history books yeah the politicians are wild dude like worth that like i saw i don't know who was it was like a senator or like you know congressman or something but he called somebody retarded on twitter the other day i was like

Like, this is crazy. It's completely. Like, you can't be, like, you can't say retardate anymore if you're a politician. It's going off the rails. It's just, it's just so sad that you can work your whole life just to have people say you're gaying your wife as a man. That's like so mean. That's the meanest thing.

If you were trying to like really bust me up. Yeah. I was older and you're like, yeah, clearly he's gay in his life as a penis. The fuck, I worked my whole life. Have you seen the new, uh, the new Trump shit? He's literally shitting his pants during interviews. What do you mean? He's just shitting his pants.

During interviews. Hold on. Like, give me specifics. There was one. He was like, talk to reporters, like, you know, at the chair,

you can hear him fart. And then you see a lady go like, oh. And he's like, we got to get you guys out of here. So I've seen, I'm going to counter you across the aisle. I've seen an AOC fart.

But I'm wondering if these are just fake. That's a sexy Latina fart. It doesn't matter. That girl farts are girl. I'm not, I'm anti-girl fart. My wife came in my office and farted in my office yesterday. And I was like,

no girl farts in my past. That's wild. I was fucking pissing me off. That's wild. It was an average. You know who doesn't fart? Yeah. AI.

True. True. That's true. Yeah. Dude, girl, I was explaining to her. I was like, dude, girl farts for real are, like, disgusting. Like, they're not, when guys fart, it's funny. When girls fart, it's sad and gross.

It's infuriating. It's so fucking infuriating. It sucks. I get so mad. I farted all night last night. Yeah. The vengeance? No, I just, I do that every night.

But it's like, my wife farts once, like a month. And I'm like, dude, what the, seriously, dude, you got to really think about this. What are you doing? Dude, I made my ex cry. I was farting so much. She started crying. It stunk so bad, dude. If I'm eating bad, my farts, it's horrific, dude.

I've been convinced off, my friend Egan was telling me that if you eat regiano parmesan cheese, it's made with raw milk and it, like, doesn't upset your stomach. So I've been shredding Parm Ridge on everything I eat. And I'm like, yeah, I was like texting. I'm like, bro, thank you for giving me the fucking green light on this cheese. I've been farting nonstop. I had like a honeymoon with this cheese for like a day. Now I'm like, fuck, I can't eat three anymore.

I was tricked. I'll try again. I'll give myself like a week to clear out. I go, I think my stomach's adapted to dairy. I eat it and it's just disgusting. Yeah. Hot, hot farts. That's what dairy gives me.

Hot farts. Yeah. It's one to one. It's, uh, I mean, it is just shit particles. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. When it's hot, what's, why is?

Why are farts hot? Do we ever get into that? Like, what's the fuck? Inside of your body is hotter than the outside. So you feel. Yeah, but dude, I'm talking like scorching hot. Can we just see why farts are hot? Because I know they're fart particles, but why are they like charged particles in? Particles move around, then they get hot.

So I'm wondering if like a hot fart is your fart part. They're just bumming around your asshole. It means you got to. You ever see the, uh, more sulfur. There we go. There will be people with like night vision goggles. Like just watching people on them all.

and they just see the like the fart come out of their ass and like the multicolors like the like Predator would see it. Predator would yeah dude the thermal shit dude Oh yeah that's what in that night of vision It's uh yeah dude it's a thermal predator would watch farts Come into your ass Is that a thing people film?

Yeah you can find them for sure dude Watching people fart in a mall with thermal glasses I mean I could do that for the rest of my life dude If the robots could pay me to do that That's pure happiness Fart police Dude literally Fart police would be nice

Because you see like, I'll let him sneak out on flights because fucking nobody, nobody knows. And then I overact. I'm like, oh, fuck. Who did that? Oh, here we go. No, dude. She's singing. Dude, it's wild.

Farting. Okay. That's coming out of the pipes. Look at how much farce coming out of her ass, dude. That's wild. I need verification. You can just put that cloud up there. I need to know.

I need to wear the goggles myself. I need the real deal. It'd be so crazy, too, to be like talking to a lady at a party. up to a lady and be like, did you just fucking fart? Like, no. I'm like, I actually. You have these last. I know you did.

Yeah, look at this. You would probably, that's kind of like a nice pickup gate, like pickup artist move. Wear the fart goggles. You can neg a chick. You're wearing $6,000 fart goggles. That's all they are. Oh, dude, please have Shane buy fart goggles. How fun would that be?

That's why I can't be ready. because I would own I would own far goggles for everyone of my friends. Yeah, go out to the bottom. How much are thermal goggles, dude? How I think I think you can get them for like pretty cheap actually. No. I swear to God, because it's probably like hunting shit or something. I don't know.

Yeah. They're probably not as expensive because you get night vision for not that expensive. One hundred to three thousand. You need a good one. You don't want any cheap far. To catch girls farting, dude. You need a good one. You need a subtle instrument.

Yeah. Dude, you walking around your house with your wife? You're like, I'm watching. Don't me try to sneak him out. Oh, it's so funny. It would just turn into me looking at my own farting in there. Get your legs open. Yeah.

You're like, I always wanted to know how that one that comes to the side of my nuts looks like. Yeah. Well, God damn it, guys. I think we did it. It was fun. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Glad we fucking healed the divide. Yeah. Laughter really is a divine medicine. I love you, buddy. I love you too. Yeah, me and LeMara, we've seen each other a few times this week. I know. I know you guys squash it.

We're good. We love each other. And we'll see. You're at a crossroads, dude. You're at a major crossroads. Yeah. It's up to you. Choose your fate.

Choose your fate. I love that, dude. Crack Amigo is a fucking savage, dude. Oh, my God. I thought Diobedal Juice was pretty funny. Diobedal juice is a crazy line. be able just as good. And also, uh, your album is irrelevant in the room. Do you ever worry he'll turn on you? Uh, no, I don't think so. He's a pretty loyal

fucking dude. Yeah, he's pretty loyal. Um, I mean, I fucking, I put him on more than, like, you know, I, I really, out of like self-protection. No, no, I, I, do, when we did the contest for Crack Camico, we had like 20 people submit to become Crackamico. And, uh, he was so good. We're like, well, never, he, that's what he is. And he, like, embodies. He's a character. And he's the sweetest kid ever. He's like such a sweet, nice person. And then you just give him a fucking notepad.

All that evil comes out. And it's, but the other side of it is like, he's just roasting. That's all it is. If we did like a roast battle, it's literally what we would say about each other. Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? If you're going to roast battle, Burke Kreischer, like that's what you would say. I think that comedians, we get sensitive because he's not a comic. So he's like, it's like, where's it come from?

But it's all it is. He's just a big comedy fan that fucking. It sucks when there's a good beat behind it. Oh, yeah, it's brutal. There's a big, there's a sick beat behind. Yeah, when you're fucking bump in your head to your own roast. God damn it, man. Thank you guys.

Thank you, brother. Thank you, you guys. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.