Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 598 - Night Shadow (feat. Dan Soder, Chris O'Connor, Billy)

Episode Date: February 12, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Bill and Spud @ https://www.patreon.com/WARMODE Support Chris and Tom @ https://www.patreon.com/stuffisland Listen to 'Soder' and 'the Regz' & See Dan Live @ https://www.dansoder.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live Heyyyyy. Shang's back with a cast from Philly HQ. We got Bill, Spunge, and the GOAT Danny Sodiessssss. Hot cast - basement chillen in the chess corner. nbd nbd. Not much else to say. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! ps. we may or may not have an extra paytch treat for you this week :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, wow, Wes. Ew, dude. Ew. What is that? Ew, dude. Oh, I know, that is. Reggie's sweet. Or the Wawa rap, baby.

Did you spit that onto your phone? No, no, no. I was eating earlier, and I had it like this. I made a little ranch dipped on that is what it is. A little patina didn't hurt anyone. You got some ralch on your phone? Dude, it smells, don't. No.

It smells like ranch. Do you ever? spit up that stuff that was like insulator of tartar as a kid no you ever spit up like a ball just oh like phlegm or what no it was like I think it was like a thing that my buddy had it real bad he had to have like surgery

it was like something wrong with his tonsils or something but like I think there's a period during your adolescence where you can cough up it's just like a solid hallstones of tartar you're talking about it's like a pocket in the back of your throat yeah yeah I guess it's a tonsill stone yeah like a gumball machine they smell like fucking asshole.

Do they really? Oh. What is it? It's just fucking gunk? And your tonsils, they like, it's little like deposits of shit. I don't know. Damn. It's just like, did you do that?

Is that what's happening? It only happened like once. But my buddy had it so bad. He had to get like surgery. You smelled it? I did smell it. Yeah, when it came up, I like, I was like. Did he one?

Did he one time it? Tenged tail off? Tag and throg. It's like an alien egg, dude. Because I smelled it. didn't smell like anything and I broke it and it was like oh my god you were a curious man i'm not i mean dude if you're not one of those he tried to he did general alter and he gender altered he gender altered he tried to poke his nipples when they were getting puffy as a boy i know a kid who did

that but his dad had him on hg and his nipples started lactating and then he put a fucking pin in it and squeezed it can i tell you as a puff nipple guy that's crazy forever listen i've been a puffy nipple since i was a boy but here's here's what you do at the public pool You do a side tickle, get them things down. Oh, really? And you look great. This gets your nipples down? You just go like, you tickle over there.

And you get like, you get like, yeah, hard nipples. You get, you get, your nipples hard before you get cold. Yeah, why not? I'm not walking around with puffy nipples. Puffy nipples. Always, dog. Not like crazy puff, just like a little puff. Just like pill.

And you never thought about getting rid of them? What am I, the rock? You know the rock had nipple surgery. Really? Yeah, when he was like Rocky Maya Via and he came in, he had like big puffs. fluffy nipples and then you see them a couple years later and it like looks like yeah you got to do that yeah if you're a pro wrestler was it was that's a fucking disaster that's crazy that's like oval pads on your tits yeah you're just definitely a heel

there's nothing you can do you have to have straps that's straps if you're pro wrestlerer you in the vader suit sometimes you got to get a surgery because you're like if you take steroids you get like gyno and like you get like fluid build up and your nipples wouldn't know like i'm natural but you are like time natural. Matt's juice to the gills. I saw a picture of him the other day, dude, he's like actually like fustin big. Looks like Jaka Willick. Dude, I saw a picture

him in the back. You can't make my birthday party good. Don't want to make me a call on my 40th? Good. Yeah, Matt's Juice to the Gills. We pray for him. We pray. Dude, I hope he just takes over Austin when you're gone.

I mean, do you come back and there's Gates built? He's fully, yeah, this is the Austin lifestyle. He's juice, dude. Bio-acking? Yeah, you got to go down there and get giant with hot dog Mick. Yeah, that's good stuff. Well, I'm glad you're here, dude. I want to sell this Austin, New York beef once it's the case.

I hate it. It's like it is like an old person with dementia. Yeah. You go, binge cliff. A hotel. The deadliest game. Yeah. Yeah, the LaMere thing was like, I didn't even know. I got told, like, Bush got told the towers got hit. I sat down for the regs and they whispered into my ear and I was like, he said, LaMere got attacked.

They got crushed. We put his tweet at the end of our intro this week. No, did you see it? Yeah, listen. No, so did. Oh, my God. Lemaire's got. It is my favorite tweet. MSNBC brain. I mean, I don't know. It's wonderful. MSNBC brain is crazy because now that means you also have stuck. through the shifting through the trans surgery that the network went through it's like that's my dead name my new network name is s yeah he's all about that shit really and he i swear to god if it's on the view he agrees he could be this sixth chair just to let you know where lamera's brain is my grandmother's

greatest defender my great yeah he's the guardian he's the guardian of the mantle he's he um my grandmother before she died i want to say like 93 to 97 would just, we should wake up and just blare the view at like 73 volume. So it would be in her, that's what's happening in my house right now. I just wake up and hear like Joy Bayard being like, I'm sorry. He's not okay. And you're like, look at him like, grandma's guest bedroom. Like, what the fuck is that?

Let me see. Here, I'll tell you. Alex Jones might be the biggest victim of this Epstein shit because like he tried and then he fell for the Hillary shit. And then he kept falling into Epstein. Joe Rogan too. Yeah, fully concise thought. It makes, I can't even, I can't even decipher what that means.

I love, what do you think it means? I think it's one of those things where you're going to look at it backwards and see the pattern. He's speaking to us strictly in code. Like listening to Led Zeppelin backwards. See, it was Dershowitz the whole tar. Yeah, it's telling. That's high level. The only time I talk to the man now is, mad out undercover in his suit.

Just my, my hair is a character. My ring camera, on my ring camera I see him pick up his grubhub. so I get to anytime of the thing I get to talk to him to go put the fucking Twitter down bro delete your Twitter and he's like okay I will I got some good photos on scratching

like you have a Nat Geo camera of LaMere it is it's like those live cameras of Falcons on skyscraper you know who he's eating again that's him that's him that's so fucking funny

you should put it on the like local Facebook group like has anyone seen this man at the front of the film him collecting his pizza please turn him into Austin Sasquatch oh no that's so

I make a highlight video to you I love one man I call him to wake him up to he'll order whole order grubble up and fall asleep and I'll just keep checking the ring camera and be like dude your food's still outside it's been outside for two hours they're wrong and fill a sleet

you got to do a highlight video to I'm a boss by Rick Ross him picking up all big it out grubbo yeah that's uh that's what he's up to excuse me why did you touch my leg bro companionship okay nothing more I did that the other night I ordered McDonald's

for the first time in a long time which night Arches called your name I think it was Friday could have been Saturday was that with you because you've been putting together some performers really idiot comment yeah well I will say

the whole crew because we got to work Monday through Friday. So then Friday rolls around. You go. We're going to be able to drink during the week. Like you know what? You got some bad. You pulled a dastardly trick on Saturday where you were like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm going to go across the street and watch the Flyers game.

And you were like, you gave me every indication you'd show up. And then I just started throwing them back. I was sitting alone in the fall. I showed up to the bar like nine, nine, ten. he was already back in bed he went back to sleep you ripped he would be outside

he was fucking ripped by himself at a dog bar and then blame you he was like where were you I didn't told you I was going I said I started drinking why didn't you are you there it would have been nice I feel like I had something to do

I don't think so I couldn't have gotten day drunk no you were thinking about going the Sixers oh yeah they had a little double header at well it's for a good would have been nice it would have been nice but you you'd be Shate your pants. We can't go.

We can't go to day Flyers games. Yeah, we can. That was another disaster. No, that was fine. I took him, Derosan, Beezer, to a Flyers game. It's a crew. It is a rough crew. That's crazy.

That's like a bank heist crew. It's a terrible crew. That's just all, um, the bad guy from Heat. It's just a whole crew, blingos. The whole crew is what Lengro. You guys are all fucking bad. Well, DeRosa was the, he was the, the key to the fall. give it you fall

now he'll fall down so I swear he's just he's always doing shots he's always suggesting to do that I wasn't drinking at the game really I might have had three beers yeah so then we go to a bar after I'm talking to Chris I turn my head for 15 minutes I look back he's like asleep

he's like what the fuck happened he is he DeRosa how is he sleep I look to my right and derosa's all just a head head in the hands head in the hands yeah yeah do you do the do the Heads up seven up sleep on the bar. Oh, you do a little kid picture?

Yeah. That's such an adorable. He's like a sleeping dog. You're like. That's funny. You're watching his eyes close. Dude, taking a little day, siesta from booze?

Had a bar. That's crazy. Well, we went hard. We went hard the night before. Yeah. And then I made it through the, I made it through the game and into the night. Game you were great.

And people were taking performance enhancers. yeah yeah I refused I refuse yeah I refuse yeah I refuse the performance it's great dude Adderall hitting the drinking scene was like steroids and baseball in the late night you were like motherfuckers were hitting diggers in ways that you were like it's probably responsible for like 75% of the DUIs of that yeah yeah I'm absolutely fun you find that data you'll see a spike you're fucking 100% there mentally like I'll drive right now yeah you're totally fine he's witness he's witness me and my strongest get out of my body shuts down and I'm like dude I'm ready to go if you

are I can't walk we're fuck we got to stay here one of the most embarrassing drunks I've ever been was I did an all-nighter in Vegas when I was like in my 20s and my friend and I were gambling late and I was so drunk I dropped a chip who's a hundred dollar chip and the and the guy was like Jesus Christ and I was like I can't find it he was just like well I was like I was looking for it I just remember him going like this well I can't help you love you look for it. And I was going, it's a $100 chip. And I, and I wanted, I needed to write something down and I couldn't write. And I was like, this is fucking, I found the chip. Leans, leans get dangerous at that hour to lean over. Because you're, your vector whatever is much smaller.

You go right off of school. And I'm not joking. I want to put a time at around 630 in the morning in Vegas. That's terrible. It's a terrible way to go. Yeah. That's like the all pro kick. What? And madame was. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're like, this kid goes good. Probably not. When you're falling in, though, the moment of acceptance, there is like a little.

There's so much time, dude. You go. When you're drunk full, there's so much time to be like, no way, I'll fall and it fucking kills. Back in the day, Artie Fuqua would just have women with them at the cellar. So you'd like finish a show at the cellar and already be like, oh, you don't know my home girl? And it'd be like, two Swiss women that you'd be like,

hey, nice to meet you. I was blackout and Artie was like, oh, my Australian friends and they're like, we got into all our tile and drinking, you want to go? And I got it was blackout. And I was on the patio, smoking a cigarette. And I came in and didn't see a table and took a chop block on my right leg where I fucking, dude, I still remember how long that fall was. Because I was like, whoa. It just ate shit, but got up quick. It was like, it was the thing when you check your shin later and you go, oh, that.

I just fucking boss But dude, I remember that Just bought and they're like Are you alright? And they're like I'm right Yeah What? What did you not see? Yeah

Being in Westchester in the snow Is that recovery? Did you see the recovery? It's bringing it back for me big time I used to bite it Yeah Every every Yeah I'll be here in college

There's no but there's snow and ice Everything's a brick sidewalk here So it'd be frozen I'd just be like Trying to leave a bar I'd fall like 10 times Yeah into snow bags just like

it's tough to get out of it's look at beanbag chair dude getting up hammered and a slippery substance who's your original brusky tung back to the house coming snow spade took the brusky tumble yeah spade it like blew his fucking eyebrow open or some shit falling up to stubs you do when blood's involved

it's so it makes it funnier yeah oh my pop pop up used to do it like every like three months was taking brusky dude he's a beat like he would just watch the Phillies we go over there sunday and then like every like five to six months the ambulance would come because he'd be out back and he'd just fucking eat shit and he was like 72 so he would just like be bleeding out of his other than i'm okay i'm okay and they just bring him to the hospital and bring him back he scared yeah i forgot phil took a brusky tumble recently he was out he gets fucked up on the tag long as shit he fell on the deck so it was loud as hell oh my god ruin the house heard it he came

And he was laying on the ground laughing. They're like, get up. Yeah. It is like my grandma was in her like her, when she started falling in her 80s, they are, they're less worried about it than you are. My grandma,

or our grandma called me one time was just like, yeah, I fell in the garage. She lived by herself and was like, how long were you down there for? And she was like, it's like 20 minutes.

And you're like, just on your garage for 20 minutes. He just like, ha. Just on the garage floor and then she's like, I don't. Just getting up. Not today.

Yeah. Every day. trip to the basement's 127 hours. Yeah. She just lives her life. I'm ready to cut it off. I'll cut it the fuck off. Man.

Yeah, you're lucky if you get old and fall like that. That means, that's a good life. That must be crazy. Constantly taking, basically, the equivalent of drunk falls. Just not. So you're 80, you go, this can be tough getting out of this chair. Oh, dude. I'm going to fall and die. You just shatter my arm in here. You just think back to

every Christmas on the whole fall. You're like, oh, that one in 96 was real good. She was just fucking heading for the ground. I'm talking about before my grandma. He was falling a lot before she died. One of them, she went to turn the faucet on behind her house. She fell behind a bush and got stuck behind her house for like, she had to wait until the neighbor's kids came up from school.

It was laying under the bush. Like, hello, boy. I was like, it probably thought it was a witch. They're probably like, so scary. How old are you? That bushes too. And then you see an old woman's face. Like, it's so scary, dude.

He's probably sprinted inside. Help me. Dude, turning off a drippy hose. Scary as a little kid. Yeah. Yeah. You never know which way to turn it. I turned it on full blad.

When the mud, the mud's all wet. Yeah. We had that going on here. Jumping through the sprinkler. It's been going on in my house. Really? Yeah, the water kept shutting off because of the day. It was like,

suspected leak now yeah sensors so it just keeps shutting the water off oh so they don't blow the pipes our hose was on for like four days Dean you just had a swampy ass backyard yeah no it's frozen it was just a cool device just a kid fucking skating on the back so I got that going on now you know now you know that's something you know I've never been in a house where the water shuts off like that we'll kick on if you take a long shower no you got to I bet it actually would you'd have to take like three hours show yeah bro, same guy. Is that the same?

I just want to reach for you down that. Relax, right? That happened to this weekend. This episode is brought to you by Price Picks. Shoot your shot on Prize Picks and get $50 instantly in lineups when you play your first $5. That's right.

Price Pix is giving you $50 in lineups when you sign up and play your first $5. Price Pix makes every dunk, every dime, and every board that much more exciting. So don't miss a chance to get started on America's number one app for sports picks. How did you feel about the Super Bowl game?

Kind of boring. And every decision I made I was wrong, I was going for like high numbers, you know, a lot of touchdowns, stuff like that. I was real wrong on my choices. But I feel like I'm going to be, what about you, what do you think about it? I don't know.

I mean, I didn't, I barely watched it. I was in and out, kind of like messing with the kids and stuff. Gotcha. I did one of those, like, block pool things and all the numbers you didn't even know what they were

yeah it was all like random and I didn't do well on that double, double loss yeah it was a double loss for sure discuss what sports you're excited about now the NFL is over I mean I'm hype on basketball I've been hyper on basketball

I was trying to get in the hockey this year the flyers were looking really good to start the season they stink now so so kind of a bummer how about the hockey and the winter Olympics that'll be fun that'll be US first Canada Awesome. Hopefully we got them this time.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you something. The reason I choose prize picks is Price picks is simple to play. Just pick more or less on two to six player stat projections. If you get your picks right, you could cash in. Pick from all your favorite sports. Anything from basketball, baseball, hockey, UFC, soccer, college basketball, tennis, golf,

e-sports, and more. Join millions of users and sign up for America's number one sports picks app. Download the Price Picks app today and use code. Drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code drenched to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Price Picks. It's good to be right. Yeah, so that's basically what's been going on with me. I know I haven't done the podcast in two months.

That's the update. That's what's going on. Backyards flooded like my song bang. Matt's carrying the load right now. You know, Matt's got it all. That's why he's juiced up, dude. He's got to carry it. I mean, you show me.

He's got to carry the boats. For what? you guys had Peter Tia on he's I wasn't there says Matt's Matt's boy dude that's Matt's that's crazy yeah we had one of the major Epstein bros on yeah I don't know anything about Peter he's like a dude who drives you 250,000 dollars to live forever and he was like I don't really know much about Epstein like I talked him a few times and like there's just all these correspondence and allegedly like his kid was dying and his memoir he talks about it and then he was actually just in New York and he's like yeah I'll go I'll come

Jill and in his book he's like dude I was just I was drowning in work but he's just he said he was enamored by famous people and he really didn't mean it and he does know about any of the pedophilia stuff so that getting caught like your email oh yeah getting leaked and my text messages got leaked bro somebody was telling me they were gonna add the future of who share what you share on Instagram have to explain how it's a joke like to each other no yeah somebody mentioned that to me I hope that's not true well that's the destruction I can side. At an Instagram real, it will say who shared it. No, don't do that. Which, if that happens, we're in trouble.

Don't do that. What do you mean? It says, like, you know how they do who liked it or he follows you? Have to say who shared this. Maybe the person, but is that? No, no. Not yet. Don't worry. I'm with you. I'm telling you right now. That's the only thing that might get. Dude's kissing is a joke. No one can see that. Dude's kissing is a joke. These kissing is a funny. I think I think I said to me an aggressive. I think I say yes, one to all you guys. Is there, but yeah, the juicy booty one? Yeah.

That's what I sent back to you was the... Why are you gay? No, I'm not worried about the gay stuff. Yeah, dude, but that would... That might be the only thing that would... Why, Sutherberg clip? What, emails? No, if they fucking start showing you who shares shit,

is that between us. Let us have fun. Let us have fun. I thought he said if he got on the Epstein file. No, that shit, won't get you trouble. Why is it all just be like 1-0-0-0-1-1-1-0-0-0-0. You're out-0-0-0-0-0. Dude, how you feel

your boys on the Hell your boy, Trump, you both Trump boys All, you know, what are you going to do?

Could have called that one, but you know. We don't have to, we don't want politics. They say that, but at the same time, it's like, there's other people

are like way worse. Gosh, just trying to make America great again. Then how'd happen? The fuck. Sometimes you had a speed bump. I hear you. I hear you.

Tiny speed bumps. People have learned like, like, fell for Qa'anon like what's he do you expect obviously this shit's going to happen and it's going to get me every time badden's a nasty little fucker then and then thatan's on there he's like boys with absin yeah oh they like cultivated the culture war they like created it you read it you go i knew it yeah i knew someone smarter than all of us was behind this going like you two should fight yeah yeah go fuck dude there's like a four hour long interview with him on like pbs that's

like incredible really banon yeah Oh, yeah. America's watched all of his shit rocks. He's, yeah. He starts talking about like Cincinnati and shit like that. Yeah, he really's the kind of thing that you like turn on to be like, fuck this fucking guy. And then you're like, oh shit. Oh, man. He's a really good and he's pretty, yeah.

He's good at. Yeah. You listen to everything talk though? He's a little effeminate. A little bit. Really? Oh, dude, there's like he's showing his private. He's like, this is my beach.

It's private. So no one can come on here. this is my pool. It's like very... Yeah. Might be the ultimate reverse. He might have. I'm not a pedophile.

I'm just gay. I'm hit the old Spacey. Yeah, I ain't doing any of that shit. For the record, I'm gay. That was the best. Shit rocks. What a move. What a Houdini out of cuffs.

How could I be raving women when I like men? I think they were all male accusations. There were still guys. He's like, right? But I'm gay. can't. He should have Kaiser Sosa. They should have crippled.

He should have done the reverse. After he got caught. He'd been like, actually, I'm fucked up. Oh, no. I actually have a lip. You can't come after me. I thought with Nome Chomsky. Noam Chomsky's all over.

He's just old as balls. He's like fucking, he looks like something of cats. He's all over it. Yeah. He's all of boy. That's not my boy. I fucking hate that guy. You love that shit.

I hate that. You're a triple history. You're a chompa holo. You're a chompaholic. Yes, dude. He loves. liberal you guys you guys wish you were as center as I am I hate Chomsky what it's centrist yeah I'm so in the center it's unbelievable you guys wish oh you mean Chris the

balanced O'Connor well sure he's for guns but he's also for fucking universal health care in a way that's pretty taxpayer friendly oh now you're talking the actual balanced all right guns this guy screams and cries about guns maybe you've changed your mind this is great oh you know haven't we shot guns to Yeah you guys went to the range you've always died cry pro guns yeah when did I have a problem with you oh okay that's new Damn I think we should do something to keep you shooting up school oh well that for sure yeah it's one way to put oh you one of those you vul be liberal I bet you think cops shouldn't have Punisher workers on their phone too while they're waiting for the great country

it became cool for the lives to let guns I'd say five years ago no dude I flipped everybody now liberals are like dude i'm fucking no no well that was now punish your skull but the the teeth or the rainbow the LGBT here have you ever watched the punisher logo with brenthal or barrenthole harrison yeah i've watched it fucking sick yeah it's great he's got PTSD which is what he should have he's just a full fucking vigilante with PTSD and i yeah the the scene we're like that's check spots for me i was dying watching once he put the skull on his chest. I was like, holy shit, cops think

this is them. Yeah. There's cops out there like, that's pretty much it. They don't understand that he's in so many edits that cops share on Instagram. It's like, it's like him putting the thing on. The Punisher edit.

Funnisher's a good, season one, good as It's great. I got to watch it. I never watch. Season he did what Daredevil was great too. I didn't see that one. Season three, Daredevil or shit, where Punisher comes in, fucking rule. Multivaricic. Crossover. I used to love the Punisher. that had like with the guy from Hong in it What's that guy?

Oh yeah That was great Aaron. Yeah Is that Aaron Eckhart? No, it was Every gay Kind of looks like him though

Yeah but I know what you're talking about That shit was awesome Was Hong about a dude With the big dick Yeah, he's about a jiggleo Oh okay I remember I tried I never watched that

He did by the way That's how this That's how bullshit it was All of his clients For just sexy ladies Obviously yeah It's not like an old gross gay dude Fem cells

Yeah It's obviously that's every juggalo Jolos I want to watch you I want to watch you play with your big pack. Old dudes. You're Thomas Jane. Yes.

Thomas Jane's just beating off for like a dude that looks like the guy that put together in sync. I won't touch. That should have been the pilot episode. Beating all. It's a Lou. What's that guy's name? Lou. Witsky?

No. No, that's fucking shout out ballfire. Don't do that. Paterpile. Lou whiskey? Petofal. Oh, yeah. That's such a funny edit.

Patriot. Retarded. Mental retard. Mentor retard. Traitor. Yeah, I used to watch TV guide at night at my cousin's house. I would just sit there and watch TV guide

wait for HBO to come up, see if it was TV, M.A. And then it would say hung and I'd put it on, like, fuck, this is gay. Yeah. And then even sex in the city, I would turn it on, like, at what point did they get naked? Yeah, do you? Rarely, yeah.

You missed the golden image. It was tough to catch a beat to sex in the city. I got it done, but it was tough. Mad Dog on, what's the flashing one. The infomercial one. The girls go wild. Well, that was, that was a

that's guaranteed. Rock hard. Yeah. Wait for it. I had no idea with jerking off was yet. Say it. Yeah.

Oh, man. Those are the years? All those years are you just go into bed with a full tank? Yeah. I don't know what this is. Oh my God, but then the first Z's after you pull it. Oh.

Where you go? I think I've just reached a different state of life. Now, I was panicked. Because I had no idea. what was going on. I freaked the fuck out. That night of sleep was like... First night, you busted? Yep.

After I lost it, I was like, do I need to tell my parents? Did I break something? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I just laid in bed and I was like, I hope the same shit. But you had brought in the year. I didn't do any experience. You had people.

I don't know. It's like, if I wake up tomorrow and everything's fine. I know it's a different topic, but the first time I got a calf cramp while I was sleeping. I was like, great, my season's over. I just tore everything in my leg. I don't know what I'm sleeping. I don't know what that was, but I'm done. Were you dead?

Because you know what's funny is, were you dead asleep? Yeah, it was in the morning. It was in the morning and I got a calf cramp. It was my... It was my... It was either my sophomore year, going into my junior or junior. It was the offseason. It was right before football started.

And I was genuinely like, season's done. I just tore everything. That's the most painful thing I've ever had. Yeah, my shit was atrocious because I did have older brothers and I had a portable DVD player and I found one of their porno DVDs, which was busting up my butt volume two. Shut out. And there was like a bunch of tries, but nothing happened. Then one day it happened and it was like kind of nighttime.

Got immediately scared, thought I was going to hell. So I just sprinted it outside and started playing basketball. Yeah, sweat out the soon. I was tired. I was like, what the fuck said? I just. The only time I've ever been afraid like that from waking up is waking up with the hiccups for the first time. Do you feel like you're drowning on dry land?

It's terrifying. You're like, get to sleep and you wake up? You woke up with a hiccups? I've done it. Dude, I don't know. And you have, like, terrible indigestion? Yeah. And you just got, like, grubbing before sleep every night?

I was basically living with you. I saw the way you grow up. I would eat big mac and cheeses. Where you go to sleep? Dude, he was in fucking 50 high chews. Oh, dude, I used to walk through high chews. Shit, be fucking 10 pounds of carry. You might as well eat that curtain eating a high chick.

Dude, I was, yeah, for real. It's just Japanese rubber that they sent over here. But I would order these, like, big fucking tins of mac and cheese and dump hot sauce on it. And then just like three in the morning be like, uh, you wake up and you're like, dude,

it's fucking terrifying. You're like, uh, uh, I try to go to sleep. You're like sleepy, but scare? It's the worst.

I've been scared waking up a lot lately. I'll just start having like, this crazy running thoughts. Like dude, what the fuck is going on? And today's the day you die. You're going to die right now. Oh, here we are.

Dude, I was having a completely fine day. Yeah, I think I had sleep paralysis this week. Same here. When you guys get it, are you so scared? You're just scared and can't do anything? No, at this point I can see it.

Like, I'll be having a dream and go. Like, I'll wake up, try to go back to sleep. And I start having a dream where like I'm about to like fall over. I'm like, you motherfucker. I'm about to have sleep paralysis. Then I have sleep paralysis. I can like feel it coming on and go, you fuck. Damn.

I didn't have the full. I just woke up scared as fuck from something. I don't know what that was. It sounded like something that was in my room, screaming yeah because you like think like you always kind of dream a little like two minutes yeah it's terrified you're so terrified but then immediately you go to sleep it's so funny whatever nothing we haven't seen before just in the middle but then you're like ah you ever have the knock where you're going to sleep and you literally thought someone knocked on the door and

you're like looking around like no that would scare that fuck me scares i was i'd much rather wake up with the cups Yeah. Then fucking did a castle door knob like, just like a dook. It's like a cop knock. I'm like, what the fuck? But I'm just dreaming. I told you I had one where somebody walked across my room. And it was so real.

I thought it was my dad. I was like, no one else is here. I was like, Phil, get the fuck out of my room, dude. He just walked and stood in the corner where it was really dark. I couldn't see anything. And then it took me like two minutes to be like, no one's there. This is, that was a, I saw a ghost walk across. That's where the fears.

But for some reason, I wasn't scared at all. Really? I don't know why. Yeah. Even after the realization, yeah, you're like, no one's in the room? Yeah, no one's in the room. Probably from that time of the service, bro. Probably.

Skellas. You were the punisher. If you guys saw what I saw. Damn, you're Frank Castle. You guys have no idea. You guys were fucking around in college. I was at the point. Yeah, you were.

What year was it? Oh, seven. I was graduating eighth grade, my friend. Okay. I'm talking about your time in college. You went, you fucked off. They said, this is not a man for higher education. No, fuck no.

He's not ready for books. Where'd you go? It's time for podcasts. I went to Delaware County Community College for a year. The president's list. No big deal. And then Temple, I quit after a year, two years. And I was like, I had two years.

It was like three classes. I was like, you can take three classes. It's sweet. So you're still took three classes. I was like, physics is fuck. I did a thing where I had a dream about this that I was going to somehow miss a class. And it was like some like second semester. some shit. MLK Day was

on that Monday and I was like, I'm taking a screenshot of my fucking courses so I can just use this every fucking week. And then in physics they kept talking about this lab. Then I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. It turns out I was, I took a screenshot of MLK day which we were off that days. There was no class.

So I missed a construction safety class and a physics lab for about a month and a half. And then I came to the construction safety thing. I was like, I had no idea I had this class. I passed that one, but I just dropped physics because Fuck that. Physically impossible.

You're missing all that time that are coming in and being like, you've learned basic things that I have no concept of. They kept talking about it in class. I was like Beetlejuice in class. Okay. No clue what's going on.

The lab in class. Oh, yeah. I went to one lab and I was like, I gotta drop this. Yeah. Dude, when you fucking outkick your coverage in college, you go to, I was like, I needed a class

and I was like, I'll do philosophy. I'm a pretty philosophical dude. Yeah. I was like, what is it? Rationalism? Let's fucking go. I didn't realize Arizona has one of the top philosophy departments in the fucking country. And I took like a 400.

And it was Renee Descartes. And it was so hard that I was just rereading sentences. And I had to go to the teacher like I was retarded. I was like, I don't understand any of this. He's like, well, you took a couple one hundred and two hundreds? I was like, no. No. Anyway, how are you able to sign up for this class?

I was like, I don't know, brother, but we're here. You said I signed up, therefore I am. Yeah, yeah, there you go. I'm fucking different between body and mind. or is there? I don't know. I'm hot. Yeah.

I'd just smoke camels before I'd go in there and he just like always looked at me like, get out of here. I think I got a D so I passed. That's good.

Those books are bullshit anyway. Yeah. I've tried to read them. It's nonsense. Just a French fucking heroin addict. Yeah. And they don't just be like, am I alive?

Are you alive? Huh? And they don't, they don't like write it in a way that it's like building an argument. No. And they say that, from like the junk drugs yeah yeah just say drugs they didn't even know there were drugs they

thought they were just fucking inspired supposedly all those grim fairy tale people were on heroin and shit like cancel and gran all that they were just fucked up on heroin and made all these scary ass that is that makes so much sense of huge if shakespeare two 14 year olds falling in love to the point of suicide is just a guy fucking working out heroin he was like i was in love yesterday and now i'm fucking sweating i'd kill myself she killed herself fuck all this shit Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I wonder if homeless or heroin guys are still hitting fucking scary stories. Absolutely not.

In those camps, in those tents? Oh, dude, that's those are the fire. Yeah, around the fucking trash can fire. I was in a three-bedroom too bad. A year ago. Yeah, I had a family. I had a family. I was trusted in love.

Oh, this is too scary. I'm going to bed. Hold on. I gotta go before the sun bakes me. under this highway. Have you played stalker too? No. Very good game. We should try it.

I'm all about arc raters right now. I haven't played that. I've been hearing a lot about arc graders. There's a fucking... I'm sorry. It just reminds me of... Did you see Liver King went to Waterberger?

You got to... I saw the video now. I have a redemption. There's a fucking video. There's like one moment of silence on a podcast. Billy tried to hit a new topic out of nowhere. He just goes, Yeah, did you guys see Liver King

go to Waterburger with his family and order like a huge meal? I didn't. I didn't sell it with that much authority I was very tired but if you watch it Is it not crazy It was it was fun What's what happened? How what was the total cost do you say?

I don't know he orders everything But I think it was like when he was going through like a psychosis So he was having a breakdown It was fucking nuts And he just kept like fucking saying the weirdest shit to people What do you think anybody in his family Like when you know Anybody you've known people go crazy

When he locked in on Rogan where people like, hey, why don't we just shift off? I don't think, dude. They were riding like in caravans. They were, yeah, they were like multiple cars together. It's crazy. Driving a super mirror car all together in a pole barn and they each have a 65-inch TV this close to their face.

I would do anything, that. If that was my dad, but I will die. Liver King does? Yes. Family bonding time. They all have 65-inch TVs literally like a foot away from their face by Ameri-Card. You would get in a Jeep and go and fight a shirt. I'll take out

entire podcast networks Went to one of I go through an Austin Killing spree for fucking 65 inch Mario car He went to Wutterberger and ordered fucking everything Those kids will probably

murder someone for Yeah true Yeah that is like Is he allowed to get toppings on stuff Is that against his mantra? 3.0 1.0 was all about that shit 3.0

Holy Trinity You can do whatever you want You can do it everyone Just got to be happy You just got to lock it down Oh Yeah And do HGH

$30,000 of it a month a month. It was something wild like he was doing like 20 grand of HGH a month and then he had people like fucking like I think I'm going to turn my life around honey and buy liver to eat it raw.

The first, it's always the first guy. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. This guy looks fantastic. Liver's so hard on his going to make you sick. No pain, no game. He's like, we're trying to gut it down.

He's like, I'm going to look like you. All right. This guy's just like, Dude, could liver king hit a baseball? I doubt. It'd be fun if you just fucking... That'd be awesome if you got in the league.

He's just hitting like 5.30. He's just showing at Don he's like, that'd be sick. Now, he's not a fine motor skills guy. No, but I'm just saying, running with weights. If he could. You never know, dude.

There's no way. The king? The king. There's no way. Not to be confused with. I bet he could throw a dart. I don't think his fine motor skills are all there. and he also has a hurt eyes.

Yeah, he does have hurt. Oh, he actually is good. Like the superhero is that. The eye picture is that. Yeah. To be Hawkeye. Al-Kye, yeah. Least favorite person.

He just throw it. Yeah, just got out of the bone arrow. Yeah, he pissed me off. I just watched, I'm going through the multiverse in correct order right now. So I just got to Hawkeye fighting with Thor and them. It's pretty good. With the bow and arrow, though. Yeah, just fucking people up.

But all he got turned by Loki. But does he do anything other than fire a bow and arrow? No, he just got the fucking Hawkeye. He's security. He took out the fucking Hawkeye. He's security. But also he wants to die with a bow and arrow. But he's got wild fucking, I think he's like some sort of fucking freak ninja or something like that.

Wait this. Somebody should fight him that just has a gun. Yeah, they go, hey, bow and arrow. Yeah, I have an AK-47. Look at this. Hey, Hawkeye. No, he's like the Comanchee, dude. How'd that turn out for that? You were on the hole.

He ran into some fucking guns. Yeah, they ran into iron. It's got next level movement, I'm sure. Yeah, can he move it fast or something? I don't fucking know, honestly. I really don't. It's just a guy with an arched. No offense. Is that Jaron?

I mean, yeah. No offense, I am. I just don't like Hawkeye. Nothing against Jerry. Yeah, Jaroner. Kind of rules. Yeah, he's cool. I think you got fucked up for a while. He did. He got smushed. He got smushed by like a snowmobile. Yeah. That would kill. A huge one. Did you ever see the size of it? Dude, those cacks? He got rolled up all right. Yeah. What? He got rolled up. He got like actually smushed. Ever think you could take a car rolling over your foot?

Yeah. Think about them is every time a car backs up next me. I just want to fucking put my foot. Quickly you'd be fine, I think. I think they would just go like, boom. I don't know. Like, I think if it's stopped on your foot you're fucking big tree yeah they're in trouble that pressure crows something about this week i've been watching uh sri lanka has got talent on instagram who sri lanka the island nation that is good shit so good who are the judges one of them what uh i don't know just whoever like three fat guys from sri lanka yeah they're like dude you're fat you must be so powerful you have a warring shirt on circuit did you judge this dance competition who's a dude is that

from street fighter he's from sri lanka sagas oh is it's a to God the fucking crazy mullet that's like of Bianca What? Blanca is from Brazil He's from Brazil I thought he's from Brazil

He's from Juanca Maybe it's just Blanca I just know from the map Selecting the street fighter This is what I'm talking about Is that? It looks like it's filmed In the parking lot

Of America's got talent Like it looks like They were like You guys can go outside His talent This is crazy That's his talent Wheels flat bro

It gets run over by a tractor How do you think you discover This talent Over his cheeks Damn You gotta tune in to Sri Lanka's got talent Season 3

Yeah you never think about how How worst Worst countries have way better talent shows Because it's like basic necessity Broads You gotta see how bad these talents are It's like four dudes roller skating That was one of them

Yeah This is incredible How the fuck did you guys get roller skates? Yeah What? I like the acting Roller skisket Oh no drinking non-potable water

It's honestly Look at this cloudy cup It's honestly like a fifth grade kids have talent. That's what the moves are. It's like when kid goes outside, he goes, yeah, I got a bike. I'm gonna jump over one trash can and go, holy fuck, this kid's unbelievable. He goes, I'll

eat that. I'll eat. I'll eat any. He goes, see these two worms? Don't give me an X. I think I'm getting hit with African skateboarders, like on dirt roads. It's fucking sick. That's nice. Very good. African pro wrestling is what's up. You've seen those guys? In Ghana.

No, I don't think I do in the mud ring. They do some crazy shit. Those power bombs on mud look fucking cool as hell they're hitting like hill they're hitting like cool ass moves and you're like these guys heard doing it with like a ring with any break in it you're like is great mud splash yeah huge mud splash like big indian guys fake wrestling whatever that is right slap each other's chest yeah you set around to understand what's going on that that kills yeah it would hurt it's slap then chest hard is it fucking digging chops they like jump occasionally they throw like superman slap i see my cousin ajax he's fucking huge and he was up on a ladder on an extension

ladder and he either hit a power wash or something like that like pressed it fell back from the top hit the ground i saw him make an imprint in the grass and dirt and got the fuck up really it was a crazy shit i've ever seen was it like do you think he has like drunk driver brain where he was just like relaxed and just like no ajax is just like a like a animal he's like yeah he's a fucking he's crazy to watch him hit and then watch him get back right up wait didn't he crush a burrito what was it oh he used to crush burritos all the time but he used to like He'll drink a whole pot of coffee cold. What?

Yeah. Hey guys, really quickly. Please, for the love of God, come out this weekend. Las Vegas, Nevada, the Plaza Theater. You guys are a last-minute town. You do this to me every time I come there. And you just, you buy tickets like two days before and it makes me nervous. Please come.

And that's, that's this Friday night, 213, 2026, 2.14 Valentine's Day. I'll be at the Paramount Theater in Denver, Colorado. It's looking pretty solid, but, you know, just come out. If you don't know about it, you're hearing about it. If you want to come, come. And then after that, I'll be in Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake City, Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, St. Louis, Indianapolis. I'll be in a bunch of places.

Go to Matt McCusker.com for tickets, please. And just please come to after a knock. This is me, LaMare, Sean. It's always a good time. The next one is February 17th at the Creek in the Cave. You can get tickets on Creek in the Cave.com. And Lamar's mom will be at this next one. I mean, come on now.

Mrs. Lee will be at the next outdoor doctoris if that sells you. And I'll also be in Salt Lake City with Nathan March 27th and 28th, I believe. Tickets are at shangardini.com. This is Sean Gardini. Thank you so much. Also go to Lincoln Financial Field for Shane Show. Oh, yeah. That's going to be very, very sick.

And hey, guys, I'm looking at the seat map right now. Don't think like, oh, get around to it. This is going to sell out. I'm looking at it. It's pretty close to sold out. So you better go. Shane M. Gillis.com. That's awesome.

All right. And we're back. What a, wow. What a great. Well, what a great audience. Well, I haven't talked since we did the garden. That was fun. Fucking awesome.

Thanks for having me. That was so fucking fun. You were Saturday, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was Friday. Yeah. I heard that Friday was bananas. It had to be.

Saturday I lost my voice, but Friday ruled. Friday was crazy because it was me, Che, Atel, and Louis. But I've never seen. someone get a comedy club pop at an arena like Louis where David Telle went Louis CK and everyone went yeah and then they saw him and they were like it was crazy yeah they didn't believe it they went like yeah Louis CK's here and then you see him walk up the steps and everyone was like yeah it was awesome it was fucking really cool we also both went Thursday for scouting report yeah we both

watched funniest shit was Santino was going first on Thursday and I got coffee with them. Because originally I was supposed to go second on Friday and I'm like I had like I'm going second confidence where I talk to San Tino on Thursday. I go, dude, going first is fine. You just go up there, fucking lay on the jokes. You'll be great. See, he knows, all right, all right.

And then I go there and Shane goes, hey, you're going first on Friday. And I was like, fuck. Immediately walked out of Sazzo and I was like, how was it? He's like, it's good. He's like, after anywhere. You go first. I was like, oh, and you're going first. Oh, and you had to stretch.

Did you know that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I laughed it off. Did I tell you that? Natalia came and went like this and I went, yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, you're in the round and you're like, yeah. There's no chance.

If somebody walked out while I was on stage at the fucking garden and was like, do more time. Yeah. And I was like, I just finished the joke and I went, no. And then I came back around and she was like, I would be in my head too. I would be in my head too, being like, that has to be a bit. Yeah. Did you got to see Liverick King? I thought he was fucking with me.

There was a certain day. Where I was like, what is this? This is a joke is this. This is where Ali fought Frazier. What are we doing here? It was cool as fuck. Shea.

Old Mikey Che. He was hilarious. An animal. I know. I mean, dude, to show up late. Shows up late in the dips. Yeah.

I didn't even see. Showed up late, killed, and then left. I went on. After, when you went up, I was watching you for a while.

Then I was like, came back and I was like, where the fuck is, Jay and they're like he laughed after a snack crazy oh my he's dropping to his set going it's got another spot oh I did New York Comedy Club the garden and

fucking the stand late but it was dude that was fucking awesome that was can I tell you my favorite part was Kath and I were watching for one of the secret hallways and it was when you were shit talking Sarah then you were like she fucking terrorized me and then I see Shane go that bitch is here tonight he says it on

and he goes and he brought her daughter that little bitches where that He's talking shit and then Sarah walks up as we're standing there and I go do you have talk shit and your sister went oh we deserve everything He's like we were horrible to him they suck He was so funny watching her go yeah whatever He's like good luck back to the whole garden is a good leg back I knew it was coming I didn't think it'd be this but I knew it was coming Hey what sweet revenge

Do watch it clicking your head to go Nice is you know yeah You fucking bitch Giant fat bitch That was very fun to watch Yeah, it was awesome. Voss man. Yeah.

Big Voss out there. That was great. It was great, dude. It's fun to see Voss be nervous. Yeah. Before this, he was so nervous. Should I tell you something that I don't know if he'll admit, but... In a good way.

Louis was nervous. Everyone was... It was crazy to watch Louis though, but like, I was standing there, him being like... And you're like, Attel was killing. Tell was killed. Till was killing. Yeah, that hurt. Tell called the subway Lord Choochoochoo.

Fuck it. He must be fed. It was so funny. It's like, if you were two or his... go down and ride this highway get assaulted lord chuchu needs blood he was just like he just looked like a homeless guy they went up there and fucking kill for him that's so shit yeah he was the man but then louis went up it was it was great it was fucking really cool yeah just i like having all those guys people like how do you aren't you worried to follow all those guys it's like no i mean they're gonna bury me

yeah it's just i want the people to pay to go to an arena be like that shit was cool yeah it's less pressure on me did a tell hit the recorder no no He did it. He had a corner as a garden boy, but nice. I mean, dear, I used to hear him playing that during COVID when we're doing outside shows. I swear to God, you would take a corner and you're like, and you'd be like, a tell is near. If I was like tracking him, you like, you hear him, he'd be like, that tells near the corner. It's like Grand Theft Auto, even you hear a mission.

Yeah, I'm not doing it yet. No, fuck that. I don't want to do that one. That was cool as fuck, man. Three nights at the garden. That was sick. Yeah. It did suck I got sick on Saturday.

Yeah. You couldn't tell. Everyone said you couldn't tell. I could tell. And I was in my head the whole time. I forgot how many fucking impressions I do. I'd start a joke. I'd be like, great.

I scream in this show. I scream in like 10 fucking jokes. Dude, there's nothing funny. There's nothing funnier than a gay act out, getting killed by you being like, no voice? Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, I really, in that moment you go, I really am gay.

In those moments where you're doing a voice and you can't because you're sick? You're like, it's just any time bombing an act out, you're like, I am the fucking gayest, dude. They're alive right now. Oh, my God, dude. The funniest shit that I used to love to watch on YouTube was comics bombing with actouts and then having to get off the ground. Oh, laying down. And then they get up and they go, so anyways, that's just kind of, that's what that's like. That shit always fucking kills me.

People laying on their back and talking into the mic and no one laughing and then having to stand up. Stand up. I've seen it. We've seen it. A million times. Not knowing the floor is dusty as fucking. Just covered in. Especially like a black comic doing like an act hour.

He's like, then I get popped and pops up and then it's all this easily. How y'all doing tonight? A lot of beautiful women here. Oh, ladies, y'all look beautiful. I don't know. It doesn't lose so long. Yeah, I saw a guy hit the laydown bomb at Magoobie's getting heckled while laying down. Jesus.

Laying on his back getting heckled. Get up. Dude that. You suck, ass. You're all right, mister Hey, fuck, whatever fuck you dude Just lay down on the goobies Just look it up in a fucking ceiling of a comedy

I'm gonna kill myself in timonium Never thought I'd blow my head off in tommonium Maryland Dude last one of the last time I was in high till the night I tried finding a PS4 controller This was like a couple years ago and I drove all over to monium looking for that mall there Went to the game stop yeah got into it with the guy I was like I need a PlayStation 4 controller He's like we don't sell him

And I was like how how your fucking GameStop And he's like sir You're cursing it me You hit the Don't curse at me in the store I mean how your fucking GameStop is It's a little aggressive I would have gone

Was it like PS5 out or like why do they It was like PS5 was not out yet But they like only had the controller It was one of those times where you couldn't get a PS5 Like I think that might have been out But only in stores were like the controllers for them and I was trying to get a PS4 controller and I was like dude I need a PS4

Did you break the other one? No You throw a pick? No I don't break stuff anymore After I moved out with the punching table I don't punch stuff Actually you know what stopped me from punching tables It was terrifying you got a glass table

No Katie Katie bought these IKEA fucking tables And I put my hand through one And her reaction from the other room Was so I was so embarrassed By her way

I think it might have been Madden It might have been Madden And I think I threw a pick six to end it And I fucking came down with a hammer fist on it It just broke the table And just her from the other room going What was that? Struck me in a way as an adult

That I was like I went on IKEA and ordered one immediately There were 12 bucks So it wasn't that bad It was 12 out of table Yeah, eventually you're going to put a cup down on it The thing's going to explode I just were swell up.

Just that like hearing your groan, it like, snarmy back to reality that I was like, oh, my said, oops, that goes gravity. Yeah,

I mean, but just having that, hearing your grown woman go. Watching you guys watch me spaz out didn't affect me at all. I've said it 10 million times. Your spaz on DeRosa is my favorite spas.

I think it's the only person to be able to get me to that. He can get anyone to go like, which is this fucking stop. My nephew just did this to my niece. Really? They were playing. I got him Super Nintendo for Christmas. And they're all playing.

He died and she laughed at him. He just went, you're in the fucking head. They had to break him up. I'm like, bro, you got to fucking chill out. And he immediately got even more pissed off. So I didn't hit her.

We just saw you hit it. Mario gets you so angry. It's a different anger. It is. It's a different. I've hit a new angry. I just. A rage quit.

I just hit home screen immediately shut the fucking thing. I mean, throw a pick, I go, I'm done. The way that people cope for most of their life is they go, the computer's fucking,

it's crooked. Dude. I remember Big Jay would hit me with that when I'd be beating him in Madden. He'd go, the computer likes you more. You're like, what?

You think this is a popularity contest with the computer? I had to melt down the other night in hell that loose. I got into build, I got a, I got, I got people there building,

like, fortresses. I'd love to learn how to do that. Yeah, so I was just running supplies for like 20 minutes to just dump a million supplies. It was like starting to build a fortress and then all the other engineers came and started building shit. And this guy just put a piece of barbed wire fence and like butt fucked it so hard. And I was like, no. That isn't a lot of work though.

And it's not. He ran for like an hour. Yeah, it's not. No, I was driving the supply truck. Damn. Yes. It's also, that's crazy to play that game. It'd be like, I'm going to be the supply truck guy.

That's wild I see no action dude You just literally just drop the truck You gotta start dressing up in the fucking Regalia No it's a perfect point I could like I could I was building sick bunkers and shit everywhere

Like we had the whole thing defended We just needed to close off this one side And this motherfucker just put And you can't dismantle barbed wire You have to like blow it up And it was like The game to end Yeah yeah

That guy And that guy knew what he was doing He was like watch this That's always frustrating We were getting a tank You gotta drive the length of the battlefield It ends Yeah

I just did that and called dude I just been using a bazooka over and over I don't have my headset and the dude was just like why don't you stop fucking shooting and stuff and take down the UAV you fucking asshole I just fucking went over and over there I did that

I had an officer tried to steal one supply truck I got a shot man really yeah yeah I was like get your own dude talk to the commander get another yeah Vietnam's gonna be nice

yeah it's gonna be nice hell let lose Vietnam really You like, me and the okman. I don't do what. I mean, I'll play. It's weird. I get into video games, but I have to be like recommended them.

Yeah. I have to be. Stalker, too, you'll fucking play the show. All right. I mean, Arc Raiders was the thing I got at New Year's and I fucking love it. But motherfuckers just camp out and kill you when you're about to leave in the elevator. They just rat your ass. I heard it's awesome.

I got recommended that game. I was about getting it. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. You can team up, right? Oh, yeah. You go in a team of threes. Go trios, bro.

Gabe's doing, uh, that would be news. Twitch Tarkov on Twitch. Gabe Davis. I got into Twitch. I never got Twitch. It's hilarious. It's so... Watch people play?

I watched it last night. Twitch is nuts. Yeah. I just watch games. You can watch all types of shit. Nobody's watching it. There's like people with zero views. It's awesome.

Dude, do you know how much you can fuck with someone? If you just go to their thing and then give them like a hundred bucks. But they'd be like, Shane Gillis, just give you hundred bucks. There you go. Anyways, you guys are going to see here, it's zero views. It's, I've looked at it last night. A lot of it's girls doing like ASMR. I'm off.

I click. one report all of them almost entered the I think I entered the chat but I don't think I don't think it shows your name but I panicked wow wow oh there he is welcome back it's it's fun man

you know on Twitter I never even knew that thing existed yeah I I set it up I was trying to stream on it for a while that would have been fun dude I do Warren's spot stream I'm he's odd I'm a mod in Gabe's Twitch yeah I just kick everyone out to talk shit

I like that it's fun kick to his fucking brother out. You're soccer shit. Yeah. Yeah, because Gabe keeps saying he's going to beat me up. And I said, Gabe, I'm going to literally, I'll pay someone to kill you. He was playing. You're not ban people that like Gabe. That's for her. He was playing. He kept just messaging Gabe, remember our time in Cleveland? That was so much fun.

Remember what we did in Cleveland? He's fucking freaking. Yeah, he doesn't, he doesn't take kindly to it. I get in there and say, show holes, show cheeks, show your feet. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Also with the lighting. Yeah, headset is very... I just try to get him to kill his teammates. He won't. Shoot.

I mean, one of the hardest you've ever made me laugh was when I started playing Red Dead Red Dead Redemption 2. And I went to the bathroom and I come back out and Shane has my controller unpaused and he's aiming my gun at my horse's head. And I was like, dude, what are you doing? He's like, I'm going to kill your fucking... I'm going to kill Nightshada.

He's like, I'm going to kill my black horse. He was like, don't you kill my black horse? He came in a yield to hostage. You get it's a custom name. He named it night. He sat tight in Night Shadow. What a cool name for a horse. That's why I wanted to kill it.

No, what a cool name. Destroy something beautiful. No, it's, it is beautiful. So you admit it's beauty. Nightshadows, no, that's great. With a white man. In high as fucking Queens and naming your horse Nightshadow. Take me back.

True. Take me back. I agree. Take me back to the innocent time of riding around Night Shadow to St. Deney. Oh, old St. Denis? Yeah, we had some times back then. Yeah, dude.

Find the vampire in St. I would love. I love terror. I love that game, but I feel like I get swallowed by it. You should. You know, right red-ed red-ed red edge of them should. You is awesome. You never played it?

No. You should play it. Yes. Yeah. But I really wanted you the thing where I just want to like open a general store and like run. You get to that. You get to that. Yeah, we can do some shit like.

I want to just be a good business man in town. I'm with you. I'm trying to play fall. Anytime a new season of fallout comes out, I just play the game. And I forgot I don't play the game. I just scrap metal and try to build. and try to build forts crack it i'm literally on the first off on the first all their converters i just get under oh seven for real i just scrap metal barrels i go i can build a gun turret you just play

meth head the game yeah i can get in that fucking soul house you can take meth you can take yeah yeah i get addicted yeah and then you have withdrawals if you can't find it really yeah i'm addicted to jet and scrap metal so i play it for hours and then i go i didn't beat one level on our craters you can hit yourself with stimulant so you like don't have it but the other players are here so they'll run ahead of me and you hear me going just be me like I'm just hopping up and down and it's like every time I fucking hit it every time I hit the stimmy were you good at that cyberpunk game no I never played it that was it came out it was too shitty yeah don't you choose your dong size yeah fucking nuts do you know what I found out about the

olympics do you know the ski jumpers yeah do the shit where When they're getting fitted for suit, they, like, shoot something in their dick to make their dick bigger. Yeah. And then they get fitted for their ski joke. What do you mean? So they have extra flat. So it carries them farther. Carries them, like, nine feet farther.

They were like, and that necessarily make that a little bigger. You're because it's illegal. It's illegal. You got to go in it. You got to have a fake dong. You got a sock in there. Yeah. It can only be a...

It's clearly two rolls of socks in and all or something. It's so much bigger than your actual body. Just a remote. It's a cucumber and tin foil. So you got to have a big dick to be. I mean, just one more hurdle from me becoming a great ski jump. I know gravity was better, but if dick's side, there's no injections. What they do is they inject it to make it puffier, puff out,

and then when they're competing, their dick's normal again. That would not out. Just go inside my body and not make my dick bigger. Just have a huge, like, fuck me of through faith. Just go get super embarrassed and have your dick tiny. Well, can you just crapped your pants and have it sag? I just probably cut weight. That's supposed to just gain a ton of weight.

went for the suit fitting and they had the opposite of it yeah very fat for the event fitting and then he weak as hell flying down that thing take it out I like it's a good ass idea there's I don't know about you guys I've been watching some figure skating and some of those guys have nice asses every single one of these little twinks that gets up the quad god I watch the quad god do that dude he looks great he looks like he can fly like he looks like if he were like his mom's a fairy you'd be like yeah oh yeah His backflips and shit? He landed on one footed.

His number one rival is just this little tiny Japanese man. It's a good battle. I don't know if you watched their short program. I did today. On the team. The Japanese man took a little stumble and they didn't fucking penalize him for shit. I was talking about the team one. The team one, he was flawless.

Quad God, though, hitting those backflips. Well, apparently those don't do shit for you. Really? Yeah, that's not part of the... He just wants you to know. It's part of the... There's like... Because of how gay...

The sport is half your point. are like dancing yeah you have to and like presentation and shit one of them and the moves are just half here we're like sense we're just to see who's gay is spinning yeah how they not busy as fuck I went on our right beer you go around type thing at a park the other day dude if I was old if I do a net roll if I do a neck roll I'm just yeah I get sit down I got my nephew put me on start spinning around I got off that's hilarious like oh fuck it was like three minutes of dizzy and they always try to say do that thing we

look at a spot like you like snap your head around and come back to the spot it's like that makes it worse spinning my head did he else feel the whole world that's when you that's when you take a long tumble take a brusky top yeah here we go we're fucking going in oh fuck all right well it's great scene great time to go eat dinner so what do you guys think about getting some dinner you want a lug rang he wants it you want some lemon meringue i'm gonna fuck up some lemon meringue you want some meatloaf where where's the lemon meringue spot one out of two ain't bad don't worry about it. All right.

Sick. See you guys soon. I'll try to do this again. Sorry. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.