Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 611 - Goblin AKA Nick

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Goblin @ goblin420.com On Twitch @ twitch.tv/gbln420 Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live Y0o0o0o0o0. Wednesday BONUS for you guys. Hope you're all having a good week. Matt posted up at the podez with the bro Goblin to discuss his drugist ways. Support Gob on Youtube and Twitch and social media. Please enjoy. God Bless. ps The reg ep will be up on Friday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, Wow, Wes. All right. What's up, Nick? What's going on? Here with Nick. I would say a successful YouTuber, dude. How do you, how do you, how do you, how do you like to present yourself to the world? I'm a YouTuber.

I'm a podcaster. I talk about, you know, my drug addiction. I say previous, but, you know, I still enjoy drugs, you know. California sober guy, yeah, yeah, California sober, you know, shrooms, weed a little bit of here and there. You know, everything in moderation is the key. Well, my, yeah, one of my, someone I know, put me onto your content who has, had been a bit of a drugist himself. And he's also on the up and up as well.

But he, he was like, you gotta watch this. You gotta get this guy on your pot. Whenever I see that, I'm like, yeah, yeah,

and I watch it. Yeah, and I'm like, damn, your shit is, your shit is sick. I've gotten comments to get you on my show, too. Really?

I've gotten quite a few. There it is, dude. You got to line it up. That was just the great mind just working. Yeah, came together. I was curious. I had asked you before we came down to why you got me on the show because I looked at

your other guests and I'm like, dude, talk about like Mayan hieroglyph guys and then like here I come walk in the myring hieroglyph guy's not out just yet oh oh shit spoiler no I don't care that's fine the uh I don't know dude I feel like you're a great fit how do you know what you're talking about well no I was just I more so meant like category of person you know like you're having like celebrities on the show you know I mean and then I walked in sway the cookie crumbles dude I like I mean you're here's a thing you're no small fry dude you've had how many followers you got a bunch of followers uh I have a million

on my main YouTube channel, but that's, you know, now YouTube doesn't like that. You're fucking, what are you talking about? Well, it's an honor to have you on here. I appreciate it. I'm really, I'm truly honored. I'm truly honored to be here. That's all that matters.

Yeah, yeah. Counts. Follow, a million is sick, though. It is. Did you get the plaque? No. No, they denied me my 100K plaque. They denied me my million sub plaque.

Why? And I have three channels that are owed plaques and they deny all of them except why? Why? Is it because of the content matter? I mean, bro, if you go on my channel right now and you're not subscribed to my like homepage video is like my first time smoking crack

and like YouTube any, it doesn't matter what country the support agents in, they're going to that channel and they're saying no. What? So it's, yeah, I got it was fake crack. No, like we really cooked crack when I was 17 and smoked it.

Whoa, so that's how far it goes back. Take me all the way back. So how did you? So how did I what? Just get started like fucking around or? Well, yeah, but what I want to know is at what point, was that a crack idea to be like, let's just YouTube this? It was a Coke idea. It was after school on a Tuesday.

It's a funny thing to say at a podium. Well, actually, there's not a crack idea. It was a Coke idea. A little less. Yeah, so take me all the way back. Give me the origin story. So when we'd gotten out of school one day, it was junior year high school. And I was going to this alternative school with like all the D-Gen kids.

And I got sent there because my GPA was below. one at a 0.8. So they didn't like that. And they're like, dude, you might be retarded. Like, you got to go to the alternative school. And at the time, I was just like smoking weed and taking Xanax. So like it wasn't too bad. You know, I was still like kind of doing my thing, you know, just not doing too good in school. But after I got sent to the alternative school, it's like, okay, these kids are all like actually like nodding out in gym class and shit. Yeah, yeah. You're like, these kids are bad. So I was right in there with them. You know, I was like, fuck it. You just have some fun. That's kind of nice. You just got better.

just got, you know, got worse. So I had met a friend named Ashton who was like just a really big Coke head and like kind of into everything. He did Coke heroin, like the whole shebang. And one day he comes over to my house after school. We got a ride home together. And we're sitting in my kitchen and we've been doing blow for like every day for like probably at least a week straight. You're 17. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like I was very fortunate to have him as a friend because he sold a lot of shit and I was broke. But he would let me do everything because I drove him around. Yeah. So it was like, hey, like driving to the serve and like, I'll give you two lines.

Dude, it's the best offer I've ever had. It's going to fuck working at Wendy's. We're driving the plug around, you know? So he comes over to my house and he's like, dude, I'm really tired of doing blow. Like, this shit's boring, honestly. And like, objectively blow is kind of a boring drug, you know? So I got where he was coming from. And I don't remember who said it.

My other friend Kyle was also there, but it came up at one point, like, what if he made crack out of it? And it was a joke at first. Like, ha, we could. You know, that's funny, but like, none of us knew what we were doing. We don't know how to do that. Did you guys listen to rap? Yeah, of course. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. I wanted to cook crack so bad. I grew up into like SoundCloud rapper era. So like when I was in high school, like Lil Pump was the biggest thing. Yeah, yeah. And like, dude, that guy made cocaine music. Like that guy's, like if you've ever heard any of his songs, it's just straight nose drug music, you know. So we were kind of joking around like, ha ha, that would be really funny if we made crack.

And then it became more of like a how do we even make crack, you know? I remember we went on Eeroid and we found this thread pose like really detailed. thread with a YouTube video linked. And it was a step by step, like, old, like, dude, this thread was like, probably mid-2000s, you know? And it was like one of those old style YouTube videos of, like the music with the text, like, step one, like, you know, the comic science fonts or whatever. And it was just how to make crack. And it was how to make a personal serving in a spoon. And all, I mean, I'm not going to list everything you need here, but it's pretty straightforward if you know anything about it. You know, you can do it literally with a spoon in a lighter and

the stuff you need for normal crap. Really, you don't have to, I'm all about, I'm all from the rap songs, whipping your wrist. You can literally do a miniature version of that to make one bowl worth in a spoon. Whoa. Like, you don't have to make a, like, a whole pot worth. You can take like a little bit of blow. Yeah, you're not getting the block. So, and granted, like, we didn't make good crack. Like, it was not like some shit that we would go serve somebody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, but it was like, dude. It's homegrown. It looks like crack kind of, you know. So you guys, what did you? So you put it on a spoon. So we, we put blow on a spoon and I mean, do you want me to go set by step here? Is this like a, okay, yeah, I don't, if you get in trouble, it's not my fault. Kids at home, cover your ears, all right?

So, well, I think, well, you don't have to go to, I think it's baking soda water and Coke. Yes, yes, that's the essence of it. Yeah. And you, if you listen to rap, you hold the lighter up under the spoon and just mix it until it bubbles for like a certain amount of time. It's like, if you see like constant bubbles on the top, stop. It's too hot. The guy who made this video is so funny. Dude, I want to where he is today. I want to know where he is. I want to have, I want to meet the guy. But we, we did the process. And then after you finish mixing it in the spoon and doing your thing, you pour it on a tin foil and throw it in the freezer. So he grabbed some tin foil, threw it in the freezer and just throw the spoon in like my mom's sink, like thinking nothing

of it, you know, whatever, which she found the spoon later. That was not good. And she still talks about it to this day. She's like, remember when I found your cracks spoon? I'm like, mom, like, she was not a fan. I don't do that anymore. Yeah, mom, that was an experiment for alternative school. Yeah, it was a one-time thing. That was a science fair. Literally, yeah, she should be glad because like I failed all my science classes. So finally, I'm being proactive and experimenting on my own. She should be happy about that. So, you know, we threw it in the freezer for like probably 30 minutes or so, pull it back out. And it's like, I mean, from my understanding, it's not good looking good. It's very cloudy. It almost looked gray. Like it wasn't good, but we're like,

fuck it, dude, we got to smoke crack now, you know? We don't have a pipe though. So like, crap, time for a tinfoil pipe. So we twist up a little tinfoil bowl. My friend hits it first and he passes it to me. Very underwhelming experience. Very like, literally I think it lasted probably two to three minutes. Really? Like if even. Yeah. We,

I took a hit, one hit, pass it to my friend. I don't know if like it was a placebo thing of like, oh, I just smoked crack or what it was. But I got very like, sometimes when I do a lot of Coke and I'm pretty drunk,

I'll get like ragey, you know? Like I'll get a little angry, you know? And it was like that condensed into like two minutes. I remember I was like, oh, like my friend kind of dab me up.

I shook my hand a little bit. I remember punching my mom's cabinet, like really hard just for no reason. There was nothing wrong. There was nothing going on. You're just amped. Yeah, I was just amped up. You know, I punched her cabinet. And my friend hits it.

And he like, very nonchalant about it. He's like, oh, yeah, you know, like that was cool. And I'm like, wow, like, we really just wasted a bunch of blow and like hours of our time. It got fucking two minutes of this out of it, you know? Yeah, yeah. And after we smoked the little bowl we made, it was more of a thing of like, we were riding on the high of like, we just smoked crap. Yeah, yeah.

Like, holy fuck, this is awesome. And we drove up, we got in my mom's car, and I don't know why she ever left the keys at home with me, but she would leave the keys at home with me. And we drove up to Lil Cesar's that my friend worked at. There was this girl named Salma who worked there. Shout out to her. And we would always go and give her shit for free pizza. And we walked in and we're like, Selma, we just fucking smoke crack.

Like, and she thought we were jokes. She's like, oh, ha, yeah. Like, that's so funny. We're like, no, like, we really just did it. Like, you should come next time. Like, if you want to, like, I'm trying to mac her up a little bit. You know, you know what I'm saying? You know, like, hey, we're not like these other guys you do drugs with you.

We cook crack now. Like, we're really different. By the way, the Coke pizza trade is a real thing. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I briefly, briefly sold Coke when I was younger. And we had a guy who would come in called Horsehead. Okay.

He was a delivery guy. I can tell he's fun. Yeah. We would be like, horse. We would call and be like, yo, it was like my friend's cousin worked there. send horse head with the pizzas. Then like he would just bring a bunch of extra shit. And we were just give him blow.

Fuck yeah. He literally did look like he had a horse's head. He had a giant long face. So he would just watch him do blow and just be like horse head. There's a real connection with like pizza. Co-connections. Pizza employees and just drugs in general. Like any staff at a pizza shop,

doesn't matter if you're front end kitchen delivery, dude, you're doing good drugs. Yeah, there's stuff going on. So what was the lady's name again? Selma. Selma was, so Selma was, she was dubious about your crack consumption.

She didn't care as much as we, thought she would. Yeah, but she hooked us up with the pizzas either way. You know, you hooked her up, a good little trade and went home that night and it was a thing of like, we all agreed, like, let's never do that again. Okay. Like definitely. Gentleman's agreement. Yeah, a real gentleman's agreement. Like, hey, we're glad we got that out of the way. But even at that time, I still had a mental barrier of like no math, no heroin. Yeah, yeah. That kind of thing. And like the crack kind of felt like it was starting to breach the barrier a little bit. And I was like, boys, let's deal that in the past, you know? Yeah. Um,

So it was cool, you know? But did you YouTube that experience you're saying? I've talked about it. Yeah, I didn't like film the actual thing in the moment. But a lot of what I do online is like I just kind of recount and tell stories of my past. Okay. So they're mad that you just told that story on YouTube. Pretty much.

Yeah. Well, my channel two, no, actually three years ago now got fully demonetized. So I get no ad revenue off my million subchannel. What? I basically post for free. And I get no sponsors because, you know, my content. Well, you know, are you familiar with social? liked substance. Did you ever follow his art? I am very familiar with site substance. Of course.

He lost, he like kind of lost it, didn't he lost a sauce a few times. Yeah. He spilled the pop probably five times. Cratum got him. Dude. In the end. Cratum is getting more people than ever right now. I know. Seven o is bad, bro. So that I was, I had read about 70. So I just going to seven oh, eight. Seveno. And I was like, I was going to talk about it. But I just brought it up and then like got on to something else. I was like, yeah, did you ever hear about seven. and then like we started talking about something else. I got like 9 million DMs like, don't do it.

Bro. Don't do it. Don't even try it. It's just like morphine you can get from the gas station. Honestly, I think morphine's even low bowling it. Like morphine is probably weaker than what 7-0 is. That's crazy.

It's nuts. And it's just at the gas station. It's gas station, every smoke shop in the whole country, bro. You can pick any smoke shop in a two mile radius of year. I promise they sell. Yeah, that's not good. It's really bad.

I've heard that they, this is just like people I've talked to. You just hit the gas station. station or the smoke shop and they're just like, yo, try this shit. Like they're like push it on you. So they have sample packs, like these little like one and two pill packs that they send out to all the shops. And they give the shops incentives to give the samples out.

Like they're like, hey, we'll give you a discount on your next like wholesale batch if you give out these samples because they know that like all the fiends are coming back. Who are the monsters though that are like, yo, you know the sacklers? Uh-huh. What if we did that? Again. Dude. What if we did that?

But at gas stations. It goes pretty deep actually. there's a lot of the like the 7-0 the sketchy hemp products and like all the shroom bars that are in smoke shops a lot of those are the same people yeah like a lot of those different brands are all the same like couple parent conglomerates and I own a brand in the hemp space so like that's I'm pretty involved with that and I know a lot of the guys behind the scenes and like dude listen if you go to an event and if you see like three Indian guys ice the fuck out they're selling seven now yeah the selling seven out yeah the selling seven 7-0. They're selling 7-0. What about, so in terms of like the, you know, like the hemp, the farm bill compliance stuff, do you think a lot of that's just sprayed kind of cannabinoids or like? Like in terms of like the products that people are selling in stores? Yeah.

Well, no. So the crazy thing with the hemp loophole is like the shit they're selling in stores is the same shit. It's just weed. Yeah. Like the THCA particularly, THCA is the same shit that's in normal dispo weed. Yeah. All the other shit like Delta 8, that's like synthetic and bullshit. But the loophole right now, like there's shit if you go to a dispensary in California and you go buy a product

off a shelf and you get it tested right now. There's probably a good like 40 to 50% of those products that by definition would be legally hemp and like you can shit. Yeah. And that's because the THCA isn't heat activated. Yeah. It's because all the laws are made by like 90 year olds. You know, they've never hit a joint. It's like kind of like laughable though because you can just grow it and be like it's 30% PHCA, but it's just... And there's no oversight. There's not even like a... It's the Department of Agriculture.

Yeah. They're not exactly cops. They don't know shit. No. Which is good for them. I think it's a nice loophole. As far as loophole, that's a great loophole. Dude, you're talking to a guy who's made plenty of money off it. It's a great loophole. But with that being said, I still am not like that against it getting closed.

Because like, it's pretty bad out there, bro. I mean, you say bad, you mean like there's a lot of dirty, shitty, shitty way? For every one, like, solid product you can buy in the hemp market. right now, there's probably five more that are like borderline poison. Yeah, what makes them poisonous? That's what I'm curious about. There's, so there's no testing and oversight in any hemp products. The only thing you have to do to like prove that it's hemp is get a lab test done on the batch itself. Yeah. But like there's no like, you know, authority that's coming in and actually double checking that. So it'd be like so like old heavy metals, pesticide. Everything, bro.

There's companies that like have weed that's testing positive for E. coli. There's company. Yeah, like there's a lot of synthetic like shroom products in particular where like they're advertising this is a blend of lions main and it's just research chemicals yeah that's that's so my uh my brother put me on to that because there's what is it's like it's not five emmy it's like five it's like emio DMT or something but that so that's like the frog stuff there's another mEO something that is uh it's just a powder you can get it online like research chemical but it's like similar to shrooms that's what i think a lot of the shroom jococles are so i've talked to people like I had like a one square and I was just launched.

And it's crazy because like that shit hits too. It works and it feels good. It's not even a bad experience. It's more like you just don't know what you're getting. Yeah. It's kind of scary. Like I personally, I think all the shit in the smoke shop should still be legal to possess and consume, you know?

But like should they be sold at the smoke? Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Playojo. online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep with no wagering requirements, instant payouts, and no minimum

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So you're ready for whatever's next. Learn more about their customizable plans at squareup.com. Got with no age restriction? Yeah. No, the galaxy gas epidemic was pretty wild. Dude, that shit was bad. I remember, I'm not going to air out who it was, but a few months ago, I invited someone on to my podcast who came by with all his homies and it's going to be pretty obvious who this was.

Scrilla. Probably no, no. He's in the same like league though. But he brought these like four homies with him who kept like going out outside of my door and like very clearly smoking fent and like, oh dude, they do that a lot of my shit. What? That's actually, I've had two people do that now. Are you ever worried to have like guests and then they come back and like kind of case your shit? shit up and dude they're just smoking fent casually outside i'm not gonna lie bro we don't have much to take i mean

we are in a living room my homies living room and like yeah there's just not much to take that's good and the cameras we have aren't even ours they're lone to us you know like good take the couch you know yeah take the fucking couch so yeah that's kind of awkward yeah so how did you know they're out there smoking fint you could smell it there's a very specific smell that like smoking like pills gives off yeah and like you can tell then they the dude came back in he was talking to me totally normally he's like can't go smoke a cigarette i'm like yeah comes back in yeah he's just like all right bro i know what that smell is you know you're not fooling me so okay so going back to so there you had the you know the the first one was just you're recounting smoking crack that was your first youtube that wasn't

my first YouTube video, that was the first one I'd say that really like, popped off. Popped off a lot. Like that's like my most notorious probably. Okay. I think when it really like I started getting any traction doing what I do is I got sent to rehab when I was on probation when I was 17. I got put on felony probation because I would go to Walmarts and like load up a cart full of shit and like a plastic tote I'd have inside the cart and I'd leave the lid open. I'd fill it up with all the clearance like games and DVDs put the lid on, pay for the tote and just leave. And I got away with it like three or four times. One day I got really brazen and it was like a Friday at 5 p.m. And I was drunk as fuck and I drove to the Walmart, walked in at 5 p.m.

loaded up my tote, tried to walk out the door and they stopped me. Like this big like butch lesbian security guard came and grabbed me. What's funny is because like I, when they did the self check and I so get like real, you know, I would just start taking stuff all the time. You can get crazy. You go nuts in there. But it's like not even nine times out of 10. It's like 99 times out of a hundred.

The person checking receipts looks like they're dead. They're just like and you just walk past. but they have, I had one hard O one time. Yeah. It was like, why is your receipt this big and you have a cart full of stuff? What I did, I just, I just went like, wait, what? I just went full Alzheimer's and was like, completely confused. Did I not check all this stuff out?

Did he let you go back and just? Yeah, there was a lady. And she was like, this isn't on the receipt. And I kept going like, but I didn't technically leave the store. Yeah. I don't think you get in trouble. I could be like, oh, you've committed a crime. Yeah.

I thought I was going to the gardening section. So I felt like I had a solid case if I had a flight. But she was like, she was like, She made me kind of like a humiliation ritual. She made me go back and be like, that's not on there. That's not on there. And I kept being like,

you got to police escort back to the register. Yep. Yeah, I did. I was like, wait, that's not on there either? Did that doc scan?

What? I remember being like, oh, so it beeps. And she was like, dude, you get to fuck out of here. So they actually prosecuted.

Yeah, they arrested me and like took me into the little security room and like counted the amount of stuff I had. And I think they did it because I've been coming back to the same exact Walmart. Yeah. repeatedly. Yeah.

And I would do it all. the time. And this is back when like Walmart was still 24 hour or two. So like yeah, I was going all times a day, bro. I'd go at night. One time I got a 3DS out of the electronics thing. I asked the lady to like open it up for me. And then I kept asking for like shit in different directions. I could be like, can you get a game from that end of the thing? And she got fed the fuck up and she just handed the thing to me. And she's like, bring it up front and pay for it and just left. And I was like, all right, well, I'm leaving. Into the toe to go. Yeah. But anyway, so I got arrested at Walmart that day. I think it was like $900 worth of shit. It was a good amount. Okay. Just under, I think,

larceny. What's larceny? Like 2000? It wasn't larceny. It was under that. It was just, I think retail theft, but like the felony level by definition. And like, I just had like some minor, you know, possession charges and shit at that point. So I went to court for it and they're like, all right, I had a good lawyer and everything. They gave me probation for a year and I had to go in for random drug testing like pretty often. And I was not doing well with that. Like, yeah. the first month on probation, I was just dropping a ton of acid and like, you know, oh, well, I won't piss dirty for that. But then while I was tripping, I'd like hit the blunt and like do all the other shit. And, you know, that wasn't good. So I kind of gone through the motions the

first month just like, well, I'm going to juvie when they call me, you know? And eventually, I bought a couple tabs off a friend that turned out to be fake. And I overdosed on them. What were they? 25 I am pretty sure. What is that? So it's, I don't think it's like as popular to do anymore. But when I was younger, the most common fake acid cut was this chemical called 25I N-B-O-M-E. And it's this like similar psychedelic. It's like a clear liquid that you drop on blotter. But like the only way you can tell you're taking it is if the tab tastes bitter. And I tasted something when I took the tabs, but like it wasn't like bitter to me. I didn't think anything of it. And this was like a good friend that I'd known for a while. So I was like, well, fuck, dude,

this shit's not hitting me. I only took one. I need another one. So. So I get to my friend's house, take my second tab, and then I started freaking the fuck out. Yikes. And my parents ended up, when I went back home, my friend dropped me off because I was tweaking. Parents called the cops because, like, they called an ambulance because I was tweaking out. Went to the hospital, went to rehab, and I spent two months in a residential facility out of state, like with all the real tweakers and shit. I'm in there like, damn, dude, shit's fucked. And I got out and I made a series where I just documented like everything I went through.

through in rehab. And that was the first thing that like popped off. Yeah. That was really the like, oh shit. Yeah. You really made lemonade out of lemons, man. I did what I could. You know, great. Yeah. I mean, it also like when I was a kid, I still made YouTube videos. I would just do like call duty gameplay stuff. Yeah. Because I play a shit. You'll still do that. Yeah. I still do that. You know, which is kind of nice. It's, it's like how it's morphed because when I started, I would do the gameplay, but I just like talk about mundane shit. Like here's the best gun in call duty right now. And eventually, like, when I started smoking weed, I was like, fuck that shit. Dude, no one cares about the best gunning cod.

Like, I want to talk about smoking weed and fucking chicks, you know? So like, it's kind of just what I ended up doing. Gotcha. So made the switch. I mean, that is pretty, I've seen some of your stuff. I mean, it's just like, pretty good call duty gameplay too. Pretty nice. I try.

And then it's just like, the one time me and my friend smoked crack. I'm like, this might be the best combination of shit ever. Just a guy like checking the quarters. Yeah. I, um, I think honestly. the only reason my channel exists is just like a product of the time. I feel like if you tried to make this channel today,

you'd get banned. Yeah. You know, well, you can claim educate. Well, it is kind of educational, honestly.

Oh, oh, I have a disclaimer in all my videos that's like, this is bullshit. Yeah. Like, this story's not even real.

Yeah, it's not true. Yeah, yeah. These are fake names, you know? The drug ranking is one of my favorite. I know you said, oh, I have an annual one.

The annual drug ranking. I do them every year. It's so funny. I mean, I noticed you have it out for a robo-tripping. barrel. I have a two-tiered problem with DXM. First off is like it's by definition a struggle drug. It's a poverty drug. Like you're an adult with money and like options on plugs is not going to buy DXM. True. You know, so it's a poverty drug. And DXM users, when you tell them it's a

struggle drug, they don't like it. Is there like for real avowed DXM users? Dude, you're going to see them in the comments of this video just for talking. about this, dude. Post a clip of this on shorts and see how fast they appear. They're they're coming, dude. Yeah, they come in my comments all the time every year. And they're like, God, I really wish Goblin wouldn't be so narrow-minded about DX-I. Like, it's really opened my mind all these possibilities. And I'm like, dude, like, I'm just, I'm not tripping off Delsam anymore. I'm sorry. Yeah, you're saying it's bottom the barrel only when you're, it's like survival mode. Well, the high just sucks, too. What is it like? It's like, imagine if like you had a,

like every acid trip you had was kind of scary and didn't last as long and your stomach hurt the whole time. That's like pretty much what a DXM trip is. That stinks. Yeah, it's not fun. And I never liked it. But like, I guess, I don't know, dude, poor people do. Yeah. So it's a struggle. It's a great. Yeah. It's a good drug to go steal at the store. Nothing better. But right. So you rank that bottom. That's the very bottom. You're saying that's the bottom of the bottom. That is the bottom. What's slightly above that in your opinion? I mean, okay, reminder that it's all personal preference.

Because objectively speaking, we can be like, oh, fence actually the bottom, but like, no, it isn't. People don't do that shit because it sucks. Like, people don't do fent because it feels like shit. Like, that's not true, you know? So you can't put that. You can't put that at the bottom.

Objectively, yeah. TheXM feels like shit and is not a good look, you know? And it's just, I can go on about that. But I'd say next up, probably like, fuck, man. Oh, fuck. it gets kind of weird in the D tier because like it's hot

the D tier. Yeah, I mean if we're saying F is DXM, then the D tier is kind of a weird place to be because it's like, well, it's hard to find a drug that sucks but doesn't suck enough to be really suck. True, yeah. You know, it's kind of tough. But I would say like, fuck, man. I personally don't like opiates that much.

Yeah, yeah. So like I'd say like specifically opiate pills, like perks, narcos, like, autisies, that kind of thing. Just because like, you still get the grimy, like, opiate feel and day after and the cloudiness, but, like, you're not going all the way. Like, just do the fucking heroin at that point. Yeah. It's right. I would say. Opiate sucked to begin with. Just do the good ones, at least, the ones that actually feel good. Because you're going to be a fiend either way. Like, they're that. And if, like, with the

perks, you're taking, like, a near liver cancelling dose of. Oh, yeah. It's like Tylenol. Yep. Yeah. Your liver's getting annihilated. I, I saw a guy one time, the guy I worked with, we were in, like, a construction trailer. We had, like, cleaned a house. We got to, like, take a break and he just he was like he was bad on heroin though or he would take anything but he just grabbed it was the weirdest thing grabbed tylonol so there was like a first aid kit and he just dumped like 10 Tylenol's in and just swallowed them all and I was just like he just casually did this no it isn't saying what though like I don't know I still to this day I guess he probably was like withdrawal he probably didn't feel that good just testing his liver so he just abused

Tylenol and I remember just being like what the fuck is this guy doing what are you doing what a strange like so that's D that's D that's D oh yeah it's for me or D or D. You know, like I've done them and like, sure, I've had enjoyable moments on them, but like, I don't like it. It's kind of laughable. And I, well, it's definitely not very chic right now to be addicted to like perks. No. It's kind of, you know, the times went, dude. Kind of like a throwback.

Yeah. Time is when. It's, it is a dying breed. 10 years ago, 2016, that was peak. Yeah. You want to be a bar tart. You want to be an opiate fiend. That's when to do it, you know.

Times have changed, dude. Times have changed. Yeah, even the bars aren't popular. Zany bars. What would you class? Where would you class in? Oh my God, bro. I mean, I love them. Yeah. I hate to admit. Like, when I talk about Xanax, there's a certain, like, feeling that comes over me of just like warmth, you know, like, oh, you know? And that's how I know that out of all the drugs I've ever done, Xanax is the one that I really can never try again. Like, I can, I will immediately feed for that shit. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's bad for me with Xanax. And I have so many friends who got so addicted to that shit. And the withdrawals are horrible. It's like, the, the, the, the, the, The ratio of like how accessible it is to like how addictive and horrible the withdrawals are is crazy. Like it's literally the most accessible version of like a borderline heroin addiction. Like it's the same withdrawal process.

It's the same like if you cold turkey Xanax, you'll literally just have seizures. Yeah, you can't die? Yeah. You can you can full on die from a Xanax withdrawal if you like just completely cold turkey and don't do any prep. And like despite all that, it's fucking great. Really? I love it. I love Xanax.

It's literally a problem solver pill. Like any issue you are concerned about in your life, dude, if you, you got court coming up, you behind on your taxes, fucking your girl just left you, your homie stole your drugs, take his hand. You can, they're all gone. Find some peace. The problems are gone. You know, and they're, you know, they're going to be gone for an extended period.

And, like, you might even solve the problems while you're barred out. You might get the courage to solve those issues. And it might not be in a healthy way, but, like, you're going to take care of them. True. You know? That's what's shocking to me is that. like it's not that crazy to be prescribed Adderall and Xanax.

No, fuck. Like the average person, it's not like, oh yeah, I take a Xanax for my anxiety and I take Adderall to focus. That's a pretty potent. If I took an anterol and a Xanax, I'd be trapped.

It's not fun. Yeah. It's not fun. All right. Here we go. Guys, does anyone want to go first, by the way?

I don't want to take out. Go ahead, Lamar. Get in there. Hey, everybody. I'm going to be in Florida. May 5th, May 6th, May 7th, May 8th, May 9th. And I'll be back home. But also on May 5th, there's optimal knock to sit the creek in the cave.

So please check that out. Lemary Lee, that fun and everywhere else. All right. Thank you. Boys. May 16th is all I got right now. Toronto will be nice, but I believe it's full. May 16th.

Wait, very much. You're in Toronto on May 15th. May 15th, yeah. What's up? It's a good time to be in the 6th. Is it really? What in May? May 15th.

Why, I'm in the May 15th. New Drake released. What? Are you going to be there? May 15th? He's going to be. You know, that's going to be awesome. Well, hell yeah, dude.

We all look forward to that. And guys, the next day, there's some tickets left for the Riviera Theater in Chicago, Illinois. And, yeah, that's May, we got time, but I'll be honest. That one, I wouldn't lie to you, that one's going to sell out. So come celebrate the end of this part of the tour in Chicago, May 16th. That's it. May 4th, I'm at the Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. May 7th, there's still tickets available for the May 7th Thursday show at TD Garden in Boston.

And then that's it. Obviously, July 17th, come watch me have a heart attack in front of the entire city of Philadelphia. Fuck. Albuquerque, Phoenix, San Diego, Los Angeles, Seattle, Portland, Chicago, New York, Boston, Pittsburgh, Orlando, Naples, and Tampa and San Francisco. I'm coming to you this month. It's going to be a big month. Yeah.

JdF McCann.com. All gonna hour right now. James Donald Ford's McCann Catamaran plan. Oh yeah. Big times. Yeah, get in there, Sean. Hello, everybody. I'll be...

No, get in front of the fucking camera. Don't do this cute bullshit. Just fucking do it. Hello, everybody. How's it now, dude? I'll be in Springfield, Missouri, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma City in Cincinnati, Ohio

in the month of May. Please come. Oh, my God. Sean Gardini.com. Why are you so mad at me? me. I'm not. I'm joking, dude. Oh. What do you think about abusing sleeping pills? You ever run into that? Like, which, no, I never really fucked in any. I saw, I saw these, uh, when I was younger, there was like this, you know, whatever, apartment complex full of people that I knew. And, uh,

they're like, all knew each other and lived together. And these girls would take Ambien and then do as much coke as possible. I've never tried that. Dude, well, they say you start tripping because you want to go to sleep, but you take the, I mean, the, I literally, they were like, really trying to sell me on it all. Like you got to try this and I'd always have it to go had the wearer with all to be like no I don't think I'm gonna do that and uh dude one day they just collapsed in front of me oh just were fell the one of them fell and just hit the floor thank god you didn't try it and I said I fucking told you guys I was I was a very I was a very like nervous Nelly about drugs when I was young really I would do like weed and mushrooms were great but like you would avoid like combining stuff or just pills coke I never I never did cook I've never did it I've never done it. I just never everything I saw people doing it I was always like it never worked out good. I don't think of a single person they're like yeah that was sick. Oh, coke is very destructive. Yeah. It's horrible. It costs too much money. It doesn't last long enough for you to ever make it stretch and like it does suck. But also like I feel like Coke is the perfect adult drug. Like the moment that like you got bills to pay, it's time to buy a bag.

It's time to buy a bag. It's time to buy back. So how's that the adult drug? Oh, that's you're saying when you, it's a drug that like you can do on a regular basis and still function. And like, I personally, like, although I don't do it anymore, I functioned when I was geeking. Like, it wasn't, until the end, it wasn't ever really a thing where it was like debilitating me, you know, until like towards the end of my co-use and I'm starting. What about financially? Well, that's a different story. You know, I mean, yeah, that's a different story.

But like, I mean, dude, when I was- Functioned as a person. When I first, like, started, so back in like 2020, I got a DUI. And I was living with my parents still at the time. I was 20, or it was 2019, actually. and my mom threw me out of the house. She was like, get the fuck out, you know. You got seven days, put all my stuff in a trash bag, and there I went, you know.

And I moved down like three hours south to this town that was like really far from my hometown and very cheap cost of living. And I had brought like my final like hurrah bag of blow down with me. I bought like a pretty, I don't remember how much it was, but I brought a pretty fat bag of blow. We got like a pinealine. I got like a bunch of weed and just brought it all down. I was like, once I run out of this, I'm fucked. Dude, all the blow down here is fend. you know so no it's gonna be bad so i started railing a bunch of it and like kind of trying to pace

myself which didn't work and around that time i had started doing these like live streams every day and like i would drink for donations i was trying to make money and it worked and i started making good money and like instead of being like oh finally i can afford my blow i just bought more shit and like since my plug it lived three hours north i started going on the deep web and buying everything with like all my YouTube paychecks. So like I would have months where I'd get like seven or eight grand from YouTube for me at the time. That was like YouTube tip basically. Yeah. Yeah. That was like my, that was my all my income at that point. I didn't have sponsors. I didn't have like business stuff going. It was literally just whatever YouTube paid me for my donations and my ad rev was my fucking net worth.

And I remember I would pay my rent, which was 650 a month. It went up to 1100 eventually when I moved. But 650 a month. The entire rest of that. was weed, Zanz, ketamine, blow. And I would just order it all. And like, the more money I had, the more I'd just buy. But then they keep scaling up? Yeah, yeah. I kept scaling up all the way until like, it got really bad, bro.

Like, it was, I'm kind of drunk right now. So it's not going to be a great estimate. You know, I had some drinks at lunch. But probably like fall of 21, I'd say is when it got the worst. And I was like staying up for like two or three days straight at a time. and I would just be like sitting at my desk like cold sweating railing lines and I had this like I developed this really extreme like paranoia and anxiety in my brain from doing so much uppers that like I would do uppers to bring me like bring my heart rate back up because I was really paranoid about my heart like I'd be like oh my shit's beating too slow I need to wake up yeah yeah yeah do a bunch of lines and I'd be like oh my shit's beating too fast I need to take a zan I need to do a line of K and I would go through cycles of that for like two or three days straight just trying to get it back to just like a sober heart rate yeah and The whole time it's like, bro, I'm not fucking dying. Like, you know, but I, my, I was just so paranoid in my brain that I thought I was.

That's pretty scary though. If you're doing horrible by yourself, just like constantly up and down, up and down. I had this big house by myself. I had no friends in this town. I had no job. And like, the only thing I did all day was just sit inside and do drugs, like all fucking day. And then just stream. Pretty much.

Yeah, I would go live. So, that's, oh God, dude. I'm like a band for this. When I used to stream, like my early days of streaming on Twitch, I got started because I was trying to see how fast I could get banned. So like I played a porn game and like railed a bunch of ketamine like during the stream. And like I didn't point my camera. You played the game like the ad?

I played no, I played like a porn game that's banned on Twitch on stream. What is a porn game? Like you're talking about like the ads on porno? There's a game. No, no, no. It was a game on Steam called like, oh, okay. I don't remember the name of it. I think I know you're talking about.

People are going to know in the con. It's like a very notorious like horny game, you know? and I played it on my stream with the intent of seeing like, let's see how fast Twitch like bands people for this kind of shit. And then during the stream, I would like, you know, turn my camera up and be like, yo, the fucking vet's calling me, dude. My pet horse is sick and like, lean down, do a bunch of ketamine and lean back up. I think he's going to be okay, guys. Like, he's going to be fine, you know? And finally, like, I got banned, you know, but it was temporary and then they unband me. And like, I don't know how I didn't get in more trouble for the

shit I used to do. Like, I would do this and be very blatant about it on. stream and I know people were reporting me and like I don't know that kind of rock which is cool I guess you know I guess they are pretty chill you might be kind of chill to you YouTube is give me my money they should give you your ad money YouTube is not chill about nudity I showed one one illustration it was a it was like a cartoon like a comic book series about a a a slutty Indian lady called sabita bobby and I showed like illustrated nipple and they just we still have a strike on our channel for really yeah they do not when does it expire I don't think ever do I don't know.

Or we'll find out. It's been there for at least like three years, two and a half, three years. What the fuck? Yeah. Do you guys have like a contact at YouTube or anything? Probably. But I don't think they'll take it off. You should hit that guy up.

It was like a graphic. I mean, I did do like, it was like illustrated full frontal. I feel like if because now all strikes on YouTube expire. Do they really? All of them, yeah. That's cool. You get like a warning and then strike one. If you don't get another one for 90 days, it goes.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. So I would hit up your rap and just be like, hey, bro, this shit's three years old. I'm going to put, I'm going to go. go, I'm going to show the naked Indian lady as soon as I get my strike off. There you go, dude. Run it back.

Run it back. You got wiggle room now. So what, so, uh, yeah, so what's, what's the plan now? So now you're still, you're still streaming. So like, are you, is it more of like a, I guess your channel slightly like a, almost like a memoir or like like like opinion on a way. Yeah. It's kind of morphed more recently.

When I started, it was just purely like a, I want to tell my stories. Yeah. Kind of thing, you know. And now as I've gotten older and kind of gotten clean and, and. cleanish um you know it's a thing of like i want to share my stories in a way that like people can learn from it a little bit yeah and also just make videos talking about drugs yeah so what is your overall what is your personal takeaway after doing a like i would say would you say you've done all the drugs all the drugs i want to yeah exactly i would say yeah i mean i haven't done math

haven't done heroin i haven't done um you know DMT i haven't done that yeah there's a few things psychedelics that like i did molly shrooms acid but none of the like real like yeah Yeah. Other stuff. So what is your takeaway on drugs combined? If it's like if there's a young man out there honestly, dude, get it out of your system while you're young. I mean, I'm going to be honest. I think a lot of people like, it's really easy to just be like, man, you should never do drugs, you know? Like drugs are so bad. But like, dude, no one's going to listen to that shit. Yeah. We're doing drugs. You know, that's just kind of, that's how people are. Yeah. And for me, I see a lot of my friends that, I party with them. I was young that I went really hard with and like did stupid shit with and got

arrested with and like, these guys are doing fine. I have a buddy who's working biotech travels all over the country and like, dude, I used to rail bags with this guy every night. You know, I have other friends who are like doing finance stuff and like working in sales and it's like a bunch of dudes who like, I think our ACT scores were in the teens, you know, like we're kind of retarded. So it was like, it was really like my advice honestly, like, I don't ever try to tell people like, oh, don't do drugs, don't try this. Because, like, you're going to try it either way. Yeah, either are your own.

Motherfuckers aren't going to listen to me. But I think moderation is key. It's good to get out of your system when you're young, and you're never too far gone is really the most important part. Yeah. Like, you're never too far gone, bro. I've met some crazy motherfuckers who, like, were way deeper in than I've ever been than anyone I've ever seen.

And, like, they're just normal guys now living life. Came out of it. Yeah. You know, so that's probably my take. But, like, man. all the all the like curriculum all the dare stuff and all the like drugs are bad that's been getting pushed since the 80s is just bullshit that's like resulted in the drug space we have now yeah i don't think anyone like listens to that i remember my brother was telling me we had dare at our school or officer friendly whoever yeah and i remember they would show us like car antennas uses crack pipes yeah but they i don't remember this my brother was like when he was in seventh grade they explained lSD to him and he was like bro since that day i was like i need to get that Yeah, it does not work.

Like you see cartoons or whatever, and he was like, that sounds sick, dude. It sounds fucking awesome. I remember seeing the South Park Acid episode when Kenny had the acid trip and as a kid, that made me want to trip immediately. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I don't know, 10 or some shit. I was like, dude, I got to try that, you know. Yeah, that is kind of my things. I have two little kids and it's like, yeah, the old like, hey, don't ever do anything.

It's like, it's not realistic, but it's also like, you know, know for me it'd be like here's certain things that you know like weed even drinking i'm kind of like be careful with that but like i my personal advice is like coke pills all that stuff just steer clear yeah that's my personal thing some people like no coke's fine i my you have to stop it eventually because that's a thing once you're like 40 you know 50 it's it's kind of like to me there's just something shitty about it especially once especially once you have kids and it's like are you definitely testing it that's like oh it's like oh it's like it's like I know so many people where I'm like, you're not testing your Coke. There's no way. You're drunk at a bar and you're getting a bad Coke and you're shoving it up your nose. And like, dude, just people, how bad is, is the fentanyl still really bad in terms of like, it's so bad? It's so fucking scary. I mean, the problem is like, Fent is cheaper than all the other cuts now. Yeah. Like it's a lot of people I see, they're like, oh, why would anyone, why would any drug dealer cut something with Fent? Like, that doesn't make sense. It's another drug that costs them money and then they kill their clients. And then they kill their clients. And then they kill their clients.

And it's like, bro, you need a fraction of a gram, like a hundredth of a gram of Fent to get the job done just for a cut purpose. And like that costs sense, you know, like that literally costs pennies. Like it's, it's nothing. So it's fens more common than ever. It's in Xanax presses. It's in bags of Coke. It's in all the opiates you're doing. Like all the perks that people are smoking on the street aren't perks. It's just fent presses. You know, it's all fent presses. And now, like, that's what people want. Like they want stronger shit. It's ugly, you know, I think like, I don't know. I think personally, it's just important to like follow your own rules whenever you're doing drugs. Like don't bring the bag home, you know, keep it in a social setting. As long as you're able to maintain that, like, party as much do you want. Yeah. That's your, okay. That's fair. That's kind of how I view it. I think the, the, always like the moat that I try to set myself that I'm like, I'm never going to cross this is like, if I'm partying and I'm out and I'm doing stuff with friends, it stays out. I'm not bringing it home. I'm not going to do it alone on my own at the crib.

I'm not going to wake up the next day and immediately start railing or do whatever. I think that's when you cross a line. Yeah. So what was it you think that made you? Because, you know, some people, there's people that claim like, yeah, I'm just completely powerless. If I even look at or see it, it's just a wrap for me. What kind of clicked in your head to where you're like, okay, I think I have this shit under control or like, I'm good on this?

I mean, it's rehab never worked for me. Like, I technically did rehab twice because it did a, outpatient and then I did a smaller inpatient stay and then a full residential stay. It's like two and a half, I guess. And rehab never worked. A lot of people always preach the whole like 10 step process and like, oh, you have to be completely bone sober. Sober. But I think like telling, like for a lot of drug addicts being like, hey, you have to be sober forever is a very scary thing. And like even hearing that immediately he's going to make someone be like, what the fuck? Yeah. Like I'm not sticking with that. Yeah. I think a lot of the things that help people. There are some people that I think that do love. that whole like I'm just white for sure yeah ever and you know whatever because it becomes as a whole you know your whole thing it's just like yeah I'm just nothing one day at a time and I think it's good for some people but then some people yeah I know a lot of people have tried that and they're like dude I just can't get with this and I found a lot of people have success being like all right opiates are my problem I cannot just I can't be around them but then the problem is a lot of those guys will go

I'll take some Xanax and they go that's kind of sick let's take some mad right and they they just end up. They do end up right back on the Ops. But the people I know who are like, you know, say like I'm staying off of opiates and then they kind of like take mushrooms here and there. They still get that charge and kick. But it's like you're not going to do a bunch of mushrooms and be like, yo, I should go steal my brother's play safe. It's like. Yeah. So I feel like that's, to me at least, I think that helps a lot of people. Yeah. I mean, I think harm reduction is the key. And like for me, I like towards the end of my addiction, it wasn't fun the last few months. And like I realized every day when I was waking up and getting high and doing all the shit I did,

like I was not enjoying it. Like feeling getting high felt good, but like I was starting to have those thoughts in the back of my head like, man, like this isn't fun. Like I wake up and I feel like shit every day. I feel like shit right now while I'm high and if I do more, I'm just going to feel more like shit. And then that one day I remember I had, it was like five or six in the morning. It was rush hour, morning rush hour. And I had been up for a few days doing blow and doing ketamine and doing my whole thing. And I was having, I was having one of those really bad freakouts. And, like, I remember I was having these really bad heart palpitations and my hand on my chest. And I thought I was like about I have a heart attack. My heart was going so fast. And I had

railed a bunch of fucking lines. And like at that point, it was just purely an anxiety thing. And I remember I'm standing there in a cold sweat. I run out onto my porch and I sit down and I'm in my underwear, broad daylight. And like, I live right off a main road at this point. So like all these people were driving past looking at me. Didn't give a fuck. I'm sitting there on my porch like breathing in the fresh air trying to do like breathing exercises to make myself like not die and like in that that specific like that moment itself was a pivotal point for me where I was like dude I can't do this shit anymore like this isn't fun and I've been having those like panic attacks more frequently and that was the one where it was like bro I can't

do it anymore yeah your body basically was like all right and it was it was hard at first with most of the other drugs like Xanax was a bitch for me to get rid of But Coke was an easy one because I viewed Coke as the source of my anxiety and paranoia and problems. And I immediately, after that day, I remember I flushed my shit. I got rid of it. And my strategy that I tell everyone, I always recommend this to people if they're able to, is do you just smoke your way out of it. Like really genuinely smoke yourself so stupid every day. Eat a bunch of edibles if you have to that like you can't even fathom fiending for something.

Yeah. Because like the real thing that you need is like you need time for your brain to reset. Like you need that chemical connection, that addiction to like reset. And a lot of people like you're not going to get that time just sitting at the house. You're not going to choose to do that. But I found that like when I was eating a shitload of edibles and just ripping dabs all day and just getting violently high as often as I could that it would knock me out. I'd sleep half the day and like enough time pass where eventually it was a thing of like,

hey I'm not feeding so hard I'm about to punch a hole in the wall because I'm out of a blow it's more of a thing of like I'm in my head thinking like man cook would be nice right now but I don't have to act on that yeah yeah you know and once you reach that point it's kind of smooth sailing from there in my got you so there was like a real almost physiological kind of oh yeah yeah there was I had a really I never had like the the physical mental or like the physical withdrawals of like cold sweats and like twitching and puking in my bed I never got that but like mentally yeah and like to this day I still Zanax specifically like

bro I'll be sitting there sometimes especially after I've had a couple drinks and I'll just be like man Xanax it's not the worst time to take it though oh yeah well okay worst by medical definition but like come on dude

like no it's not the worst time you know yeah I I I'm like kind of split on this because it's like I I do think it's a crazy way to treat it where it's like don't touch it at all and it's like yeah yeah okay

like Louis CK has a great joke about it how like you gotta tell your kids not to do drugs but drugs are literally the answers to all their problems yeah and it's like yeah oh you'll feel awesome actually if you're actually being honest like no you'll feel great you'll be confident but the this is what I found I used to drink when I was younger

I started drinking super young and just drinking smoking weed whatever and specifically drinking though I would just get I socialized I pretty much like grew up socializing drunk. It's always drunk if I socialized. Yep.

And then I just, the alcohol just started just not agree with me. I got sick of being hung over. So then I had to like learn, which I'm still learning how to do it now. I'm 40, but it's like I had to like learn how to socialize sober. And I was just like,

damn, I wish I fucking learned how to do this when I was younger because I'm like still bad at it. I still struggle with that too. Yeah. I get drunk before everything. Yeah. Really?

I mean, dude, every podcast I've like ever done on the gobcast, I just drink before it. Really? So how is that? How do you manage the alcohol then. I mean, I'm not drunk, you know, I don't get hammered.

One to two shots. When I, when I have like a someone I don't know coming on the show, yeah, I need a loose enough. Interesting. Okay. So. That's fair. Yeah, but I personally like, I don't enjoy drinking, like getting blackout drunk. I like drinking in like combination with other things. Yeah, yeah. Give me a couple glasses of whiskey and a join and like a couple lines, you know, give me, I don't know, take some shroom, smoke a joint, maybe one glass of whiskey, you know? I think drinking is just like a good like mix in the pot. kind of thing. Yeah, okay. So you're not like a hardcore drinker. Well, with standup, I remember I remember being like, dude, I have to have two drinks before I perform. And then I remember

being like, well, fuck, I kind of at the time, I would do stand up like every night. I'm like, I don't feel like drinking every night. Yeah. I was able to. And this is, you know, this is a stuff I do kind of like where it's like, you know, what exactly why do I have to do that? And it's like, with time, you just, you can get over that stuff. That's the one. 100%. But to me, it's like, I don't want to come off as like preachy like if that's what people do that's what people do but i remember being like because i was like impossible i'm not really a public speaker i need my two drinks and then um i was like no you know what tonight i'm going up sober it was like years and years ago and for some reason i was just like i don't even know why i did this i wore a backwards hat on stage i

never i would never wear a backwards hat but i was just a new shit going so i need had like some other thing and i stood up there complex like oh oh like stone sober with a backwards hat bombed and uh but now it's weirdly enough i prefer if i do stander up, I prefer to be like completely sober. And I wanted to, I wanted to be like a high on stage guy. I was like, he wouldn't want to have a couple drinks every night. But it like, I just objectively, I'm better if I'm sober. Yeah.

Because I'm more like kind of keyed into everything going on. Yeah. And I'm not high. Being high and doing stand up for me, it's a nightmare. Dude, being high and doing anything where you have to think is not good. I've kind of been noticing that lately too. I've finally for the first time in my life, like since I started smoking, been like tapering off a little bit, you know, and only smoking at night and stuff like that.

Because like, dude, I look back at like some of my old stuff on the internet where I'm super high. And whenever I'm super high in the moment, I'm thinking to myself like, dude, this is great. You know, I'm talking a lot. And I look back and I'm like, yo, I'm a babbling fucking idiot. Yeah. Like I'm saying nothing right now. So, yeah, I've tried to slow down on smoking too. Yeah. I still, I like doing kind of cycles with weed where I'll like quit for a while. and then I'll come back.

A little tebrake. Yeah, a little break, dude. It's nice because it like, otherwise it just, I feel like, you know, I feel like, I'll feel like dull after like daily smoking. But you take like months off and come back, you're like, I don't know, that's the way I kind of like it. It's got to be a treat. That's the only way it's fun. Yeah.

You know, if you're just smoking all day, it's pretty boring. Yeah. I like it as like a little gift at the end of the day. It is. It's truly a gift at the end of the day. A little surprise. But that's, no, that's a cool way of thinking of it. Because it is like, you know, it's like, as far as like YouTube guidelines, I'm sure they have

their like legalistic kind of like, no, it's like you can endorse this. But it is like, okay, well, there's still people dying from fucking overdoses because this doesn't work from or that doesn't work for them. And at least, yeah, like you were saying, if you can at least like reduce the harm a little bit by being like, hey, the rooms didn't work out for you. Yep. How about you fucking just take 19 edibles a day and see if you can manage that? It's like, it's at least attractive to an addict's mind.

We're like, yeah, I'll just get high as fuck all day. Fuck. Yeah. And that does, I swear, even the mushrooms, I've seen people who were like bad addicts to like, you know, like the worst stuff. And they'll like have like a hard mushroom trip. And at least for like five months, they would just be clean. Yeah. And then like, you know, life will come back and yank them back into that stuff.

But it is. It was pretty astounding to see people will be like, no, I'm just chilling right now. We got to do more research on that shit. Yeah. You know, I mean, we're probably pretty far from that actually happening. But I mean, shrooms genuinely like cure people from stuff. Yeah. Ketabine does too.

We're just starting to discover that. even acid. Yeah. Well, that was, I think the original AA model was to take, you're supposed to take acid. Really? Yeah,

the guy, Bill W., whatever's name was, that was like, that was a, the whole point of it was like, you would get you there. You would like start talking and they were like,

you got to basically induce some form of mystical religious experience. And that he, he had done LSD and that's how like that. He was like a hopeless alcoholic. Yeah. And I think he did acid and kind of was like, oh, they leave that part out of the curriculum nowadays.

They did. It's a shame. They left it out. I left it out. But even again, it's not like, everyone has to do that. But it's like, all right,

this works for some people. This works for some people. That works for some people. Here's your options. Pick one and try it out rather than being like, show up every day and just fucking eat shit. Yeah. Just white knuckle it for the rest of your life.

I mean, it's so much more appealing to just be like, yo, you can get high as fuck still just on this. Yeah. Or it's like it just scares the fuck out of you. You start tripping. You're like,

oh, dude, I'm like stealing my little sister's money. Some people need whatever they're like out of body kind of perspective it gives you you can kind of really see yourself and go like oh god dude what the fuck did i start doing this yeah so but no that's a but your channel rules i do like your channel thanks man i really appreciate it very funny the stories are really awesome i like the show you got here dude this uh this is a this a very cool setup appreciate you i like this you know i've i've gone on a few podcasts that are very like sit at the table and talk but this is fun hell yeah i like this stand

what's the crap like what is this what's the art everyone asked me i have no idea i should research just at one point. It's, I like, it was funny. I've, like, Googled it a couple of times. Okay.

I'm at all about it. My brain doesn't retain it at all. I think they like, they're being spot, like someone's coming up and like, it like kind of like catching these guys in a lewd act. I think that was like an ancient devil's threesome. Oh.

I think that lady in the water symbolizes something. I forget what that is. I think that canoe's on fire or something. I don't know. Kind of on the right looks kind of like Turkish to me. Yes. Very Turkish. Some say,

some say he's her pimp. Oh. And then someone walks up like, hey, what the fuck you guys doing in there? Yeah. He does have the cane going and everything. Yeah, although these guys look, they could be siblings. Oh. I see a lot of resemblance.

Well, that was okay back then, you know, to share. That was fine. He might have been signing his sister up with a pimp. He's like, look, I think it's a conflict of interest if I pimp you. My buddy's also a Turkish pimp. Yeah. So it's a very recent development that, you know, your Turkish pimp relative wasn't like someone to share your woman with. But I have no idea what that painting is about it. It just made me laugh. It's just an interesting

I like it. I like it. But yeah, Matt, so what's, what's, uh, you know, what's the plans going forward, dude? Are you, do you feel pressure on the podcast to be like, I got to get fucking zonked? I got to ramp up or is it just kind of like. When I was much like earlier into doing it, yeah, because the entire way I got into podcasting was like going on other people shows kind of like this and like getting fucked up. Like I remember the first podcast I ever went on. Uh, I was like nodding out in the chair at the end of it because I'd stayed up the night prior and I'd like packed a bunch of blowing zanz in my bag and flew out to LA and like was in my hotel railing him and then I ordered a bottle of wine because I was like dude I got I'm not ready to socialize

bro I'm only on zans and coke I got a fucking I need a drink you're not not ready to talk yet so I start drinking and you know that doesn't combine with those two things well um so what do you what are your thoughts on like really taking everything away for a period and actually just being like, what is bothering me to the point where I would have to be that fucking high to interact with people? I mean, I think I've definitely worked on that over the years and kind of, like, I think I just generally am not very good at socializing without drugs because it's what I've done for a decade, you know?

And after I started doing less drugs and just smoking more weed, weed in itself makes me kind of more anxious in public places to begin with, you know? And then I'm already being like, fuck, I don't. don't know how to talk to these people. I'm not loose right now. And I really kind of get stuck in my head about it. And like, I think that's something I'm going to probably struggle with for a long while, yeah, from now too. But I definitely notice myself slowly like getting better about it. Yeah, that's how old. You're 27. Oh, yeah. So yeah, I got time to blow out. You're coming out of your 20s. Yeah. Yeah, I still, I mean, I've gotten way better about it. Do you watch sports?

A little bit. That helps you. That helps social. I don't watch sports. That's like my Achilles heel and social, polite society. I'll go out and I'll be like, you see the Broncos? And I'm like, nah, man, I wish I did. I wish I could share this with you right now. Casinos are my icebreaker. Really? Good card table. Yeah. That's nice. Play a little Baccarat, blackjack, you know. Start chatting it up. Make four new friends or enemies, you know. True. Either way, you talk to him, you know. No, that is a trick, man. Whenever I'm like, find myself socializing, there is a part of me, like, almost narrating the events in my head as taking place and I'm going like, what do I really want to talk about?

It's like, I want to go home is what I really want to do. And I'm like, no, you have to stay here. I'm like, all right. It feels like a, you know, not performative, but it's just kind of like, you know, if I really had my druthers, I would be chilling out laying in my bed right now. Yeah, it's too easy to like get caught up in my head about like, you know, the situation at hand instead of just living in it. Yeah.

You know, that's something that like, I don't know if being bones sober would fix that. it probably would but I don't know I could not like I said I don't I don't like I again I try to not be like well this is what you need to do but it's like is it's like maybe over time you get like you know get exposed it's like any kind of phobia if you expose yourself to the stimulus over and over and over yeah this actually isn't that scary yep that's what happened with me for flying really I was very scared of flying you just did it over I used to have to like full on like pass the fuck out every flight yeah and I'm pretty chill that's tight no that yeah same I was actually very scared too

But that's- It's horrifying. We're not supposed to be up there. No. And then when they hit that fucking turbulence, bro, like, I fly a good amount. And like, I've had a pilot explain it where it's like, dude, turbulence, think about it as like waves on an ocean. If you're on a boat and the boat's going up and down, that's just waves. That's normal.

You're fine. He's like in the area of currents. So like we're hitting that. And it's just as natural as a boat hitting fucking water. Yeah. But dude, when it like goes on for a while and I always look at, I always look at the flight attendant. And if I see fear in their eyes, and I'm like, yeah, we're fucked. We're dying.

Oh, once they sit down in those. jump seats, I'm fucking tweaking, dude. I'm tweaking. I mean, I feel like the turbulence, dude, it's got to be something telling us we're not supposed to be up there, you know? True. It's God up there. Could be God being like, the fuck out of here. I'm not a religious guy until I'm on an airplane.

I'm pretty fucking religious. Born again. Yeah, fuck. God damn, dude. Well, hey, anything else you want to talk about or you want to plug or? Fuck. I don't know, man. It's been fun.

You know, I always love chatting about drugs. So if you ever want to do more of that, you know? Yeah, dude, for sure. I'm here to yap, you know. Absolutely. I think, and again, I want to make sure I hit all the, all the things. Yeah, your videos are great. I just, I like the, you just have a ton of funny stories.

Is there, here, this is a question. I think we could kind of go out on. Okay. What, what has been like, you know, because you're, I'm sure, whenever I feel like people are doing a lot of drugs, you're around very colorful characters. Oh, yeah. What is like the greatest, I would say, tragedy you've witnessed in terms of like a person just careening into the absolute abyss.

Fuck, dude. Probably my old Coke plug. I've had... The guy you smoked crack with? No, no, different person. That guy died actually. So, yeah, well, not thank God, but, you know, just different thing, you know?

Sure, sure. Yeah, so that guy died, had to get a new Coke plug, and he was a very friendly guy, a lot of face tattoos, you know, but like, kind-hearted dude. Yeah. But he was out of jail on parole for, like, already selling blow and, like, had like a couple newborn kids that he was raising and stuff and like everything was going good and then seemingly like out of nowhere his baby mama like i don't know what happened like between

them but like he started believing that like she was cheating on him and the kids weren't his and he was like kind of tripping about that and he would bring it up all the time and then one day he buys a shroom chocolate bar off a friend of mine and he takes it and he starts tripping the fuck out on shrooms at like the family house they're all staying with like i don't know if it was his parents or her parents but like saying at the grandparents house with the kids to like take care of them and he starts tripping the fuck out and he goes and like gets in an argument with his girl in front of the kids and like they get a little physical but not like anything crazy just like a you know a little slap back and forth and then they separate later that night i don't know if he took more of the shrooms

or what but he like had a complete freak out and he goes in the room his kids are sleeping in and beats the fuck out of them. And like one of the kids took like permanent damage, like vegetative state like fucked. And he got sentenced for a bunch of fucked up shit. And he's in jail for like 15 years, I think or something like that all because one night. And like prior to that, he seemed like he like love these kids. Like he really, you know, he posted his kids all the time, took care of his family.

He literally, that's terrible. I don't know if this is actually good taking care of the kids. We'd like have him in the back seat when he come serve me, you know. Like he loved it. They were there, you know. were there. So, and then one day he just disappears and one of my friends sends me the fucking news article and his girlfriend slash baby mama had a YouTube channel where like she posted a two-part thing telling the whole story and like her face is all fucked up when a kid's still in the hospital.

They both lost custody of the kid. She doesn't have me either. Like it's fucked, dude. That's by far the most tragic thing I've ever ever witnessed out of any drug addiction. Maybe that brings me back to my original point where people need to deal with this. shit in a different way. Yes. That's sad. Drugs are not the way. No.

I mean, again, it's not, yeah, that's a tough case because it's like, yeah, that's a dude definitely probably went to some sort of psychosis. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You tripped the fuck out. And all it took was just one little, one little dose. God dang. It's like, that was like a sudden thing, it seems like almost.

You got to make sure you're in the right mental space. Yeah. Yeah. There's definitely a lot of people act like you don't have to, but like you got to do some prep work before you get out. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

That's fair. It can get ugly. Yeah. That's pretty, it's pretty much, I think, as gnarly as it gets. Yeah. Yeah. Close to it. I mean, it's just, it's even worse nowadays to be, I'd imagine these young kids who are

doing the shit I did 10 years ago are experiencing way more tragic shit now because all their friends are probably croaking on Fent. Yeah. Like, it's fucked, dude. So is, is Fent popular with kids now, the way like pills were popular? Well, high schools. Yeah. Actually, there is like, there's even kids that like seek it out, you know?

Yeah. Because it's like, if you're already doing opiates, especially any of, of the opiate addicts. Like kids who are like, oh, I just dabble in norcos and perks. That's becoming a rare breed by the day. Yeah.

Because all the norcos and perks now are fend. Yeah. And they don't prescribe that shit as much anymore. So it's harder to get, which just makes the fent more common. That's why my rule of thumb is, dude, no pills.

No pills, no powders. Yeah. You can have a good time smoking weed, doing mushrooms and drink. If you really are trying to like party and get after it, you can have a ball powder pill free. That's,

that's where I, That's why I'm always like, I mean, you can, you can risk it and be the man for 30 minutes. Yeah. Fucking on blow or whatever. Or just like chill out. Yeah. Still have a, you can have a very, I took acid recently and went to a concert too much. It was enough fun for me for like a decade.

I'm good. I'm good on fun for an entire decade. But it's like, I don't understand. That's the one part of me that's like how what, where else is it where you're like, this is cool. But like, I guess that's everything. It's like, let's just see how far we can take this. Yeah.

You know, it's really fucked too is a lot of like, you can't even rely on. normal like reagent test kits anymore really because the amount of fent that it takes for a test kit to declare that like it's a positive for fent is like a nanogram so like for example if let's say anyone that like ever touched the bag a blow you just bought had ever interacted with fent in a trace amount like they had a little bit on their thumb and they touched the inside of the bag and like or maybe let's say it's even a reused bag so like what's in there is not fent but someone reuse their bag and then they pull it out and drop it, it's going to test positive for Fent.

It's probably good, though, you know? It is, it's good overall, but a lot of people don't view it that way. They're like, oh, it's saying everything's Fenn. I know this isn't Fants. They just don't test shit. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know?

Yeah, I guess they were talking about they don't want to be wasteful. Yeah, I had a, I briefly did a collab with a drug testing kit company. And like, we sold a like a couple batches of reagent testing kits. And I would get the M's from people all the time. Like, dude, I know my plug isn't selling Fent. Like, this shit says it's this. And like, It's like, bro, what do you want me to do?

Like, the test says what it is, you know? And it's like better safe and sorry if it's in the house. Like, why are you mad at me, bro? Like, go talk to your plug. Yeah. And it's also like, if it's in the house, it's just a matter of time. Exactly. Yeah.

So it's, yeah. People are never happy. People are never happy. No. Try to prevent them from getting a fend overdose. And we're like, dude, this is fucking annoying. The most valuable lesson I think I've ever learned on the internet is just to not try to make everyone happy. You can.

It's impossible. It doesn't work well. It's in life, too. It's like. You can't do it in life, especially not the internet yet. It's possible. Yeah. It's a tough thing to get used to.

Yeah, man, it is. Especially, yeah, you get a lot of hatred. Do you deal with a lot of hatred online, or is it pretty positive? I mean, I think, especially since I've started posting shorts, I get a lot of hate comments now. Really? But I think that's just the nature of shorts in general. Like, if you post anything on TikTok, you go to the comments, that shit is crazy. Yeah.

And I don't even view it as hate. It's just like that's the nature of short comments. Like, you crack jokes, you make fun of whatever you see, like. Yeah. try to get the most likes, you know, that's what it is. But like, I don't deal with a ton of hate. I think I, when I was younger and my audience skewed younger, I got a lot of hate from like older relatives and I would get emails from parents of like, my kid watched your video and I just found this and like I got an email. There was a mom emailed me years ago. This is probably like 2018,

2017 or some shit. And she was like, I like found my son watching your videos. I just want to let you know that my son thinks you're so cool and he's doing this drug, this drug, this drug, and like, he's ruining his fucking life because of you. And like, that seems like, I get those, you know, but I don't view those even as hate comments. It's like, honestly, bro, if I was a parent, I'd probably write the message too, you know. Yeah. I mean, also, I mean, the stuff of yours I've watched, you're not very, you're not being like, dude, go out there and go crazy.

It's more so like, this is, this is what happens when you do this. There's good stuff and there's bad stuff. Yeah, I try very hard to not encourage people to go do anything, but I mean, regardless. Yeah. They're going to go do it either way if they want to. Yeah, dude, that's also funny to be like, how about you police your kids? Yeah. Yeah.

Why are you, you want me to parent him, dude? Send him over to my house for a fucking play date. Just do the summer camp. Yeah, literally. Send him to wilderness camp, dude. Put him in the fucking woods for three months. Please.

Do something with him. Well, it is. Yeah, it's a charged subject. Drugs are a charged subject. Everyone says feelings one way or the other. So yeah, I guess that is kind of you can only, you can only kind of go off like what works for you, what doesn't. Yeah.

Yeah. For love of God, stay off the fence, dude. Yeah. Stay off the fence. That's a good message to say. Yeah. I think that's a fair one. That's a fair one. Well, dude. Thank you. Thank you, dude. I really appreciate it. Thanks for having me on.

Appreciate you, man. This was a good time. Yeah, man. You should come out to L.A. sometime, call on my show. If I'm out there, I will for sure. Hey me up. I'd love to have you. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah.

Later, brother. Peace out, guys. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Spotify. Do it.