Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 617 - Irish Good Morning

Episode Date: May 29, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live yo0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o. TGIF. Top of the afternoon. Hope you all had a good week. Here's a classic fambly ep for you. Just the D.A.W.G.Z. 2 eps in 1 week - you guys are spoiled rotten. It's a hot one too ... I can't lie. We love you very much. Please enjoy. God Bless. Visit https://prizepicks.onelink.me/DRENCHED and use code DRENCHED and get $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup! Use code DRENCHED at https://BlueChew.com  to get 10% OFF + Free Overnight Shipping on your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Wow, wow, Wes. Dude, I just, it blew my fucking mind. I had to talk to somebody about it. No, I'd like to hear about it. Chuckie cheese is no longer. It's not a... I think Bargazzi actually has a joke about it. I think he, or maybe he joked about how scary it was,

but like, you know, we all know the classic Chuckie Cheese. I was like talking to my kids like, yo, guys, it might be a little scary in here. They have, like, fucked up looking mice dancing and shit on stage. You're going to with Chuckie Cheese now, no animatronics. Screen the 2D, brother. I know. But if you look, if I like YouTube, the old Chucky Cheese, like maybe I was just like making it up. It's more fucked up than you could imagine.

Old Chucky Cheese. Yes, it's so scary. I like, was YouTube and people at the party like, this is what it used to look like. When did they change it, you think? I think maybe in the, what's O'Connor call it, the aughts? Yeah, the early aughts. Maybe the early aughts. I bet they changed it when, uh, five nights and Freddy's or what's that called?

Five nights at Freddy's is like a little kid video game where, the animatronic thing has come to life at night and kill you attack you i bet when that because that was a hit yeah i bet bringing the kids to see the actual animatronics it was probably chaos in the chucky cheese that'd be terrifying 2012 when did five nights come out oh that was later that would be crazy a nice theory going yeah this is a good theory i have another my brother gave me a really good theory recently what is it Sean's gonna like it it's about how smoke breaks so people don't go out anymore and like stand with each other and smoke cigarettes and he thinks it's having like a it's fucking us up like we don't know how to like chill it's like that was like a whole rhythm

baked into the day where like every like all right let's step outside all the bros have to like hang out together for a while puffsigs talk about whatever because really like you and a bunch of people would sit there all catch the nicotine buzz at the same time and it's like a really nice bono yeah it's a nice combo it's like a part of our life that now we miss yeah now everyone also works from home too yeah exactly don't even get to go around the water cool What I mean, yeah. But John, the water cooler is a myth, by the way. I've never, I've been in an office twice.

I never once got to chat around the water cooler. No. Kitchen microwave is where you chill. Microwave and coffee. That's where you chill. Yes. Water cooler myth. That's where you come in and see your weird manager eating out of a Tupperware.

Jesus Christ. This microwaveing soggy broccoli. Think about him making that at home. You know, this lonely fucking cock sucker. I hate him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

to see you a little bit you're like, ah, fuck, this guy's sad too. You guys, he's still a fucking asshole. Yeah, everyone's, this is kind of embarrassing. Ah, fuck it, I'll say it.

It's kind of tipped my own horn. Whatever. This morning I woke up being a, I was just laying in bed, trying to, trying to, trying to be depressed. Like, I was like,

I was laying in bed like, damn, dude, my parents were in, like, their 20s when they had my family and like, I'm fucking old. Like, my kids aren't even, like,

I'm 38, and instead of having kids, I just, I did pretty good I caught myself I was trying to be like I didn't do shit with my life and it took me a second to be like actually shit's pretty sick dude nice

that's so funny your Irish jeans in the morning we're like it's just so much trouble in me so much trouble terrible trouble I should have had kids I'm gonna die alone I'm fucking I pissed away my life now I actually had a good life

Yeah, fuck yeah It is funny, but like Then I got out of bed I was like nice It's a good start It is nice Trying to run the old program And it's being like

Such a fucked up It's a piece shit You look around You're like What am I gonna do today That's fucking awesome Fuck I gotta go look at a house

Look at this dumb fucking house It was damn it Bullshit house This is the coolest house I've ever seen Fuck fucking natural Redwood

fucking fooling actually kind of sick now. I did, me and LaMere just went and looked at the house. How was it? LaMere asked to come with me. He wanted to check out the new digs. Now, he was, he was checking out the house more than me. I bet.

But yeah, it's. I'm, like, I walk in and the ladies trying to tell me how everything works. And I'm just like, talk to him. I'm never going to. Do you get gay couple phobia every now and again? Yes. The neighbor, dude, the neighbor's the man.

What? The neighbor's the man. Fuck, that rule. He came outside shirtless. Yes. He used to play ball at Texas. What? Yeah, he's an old old lineman.

Came out with his big dog, a dog was with him. That was great. God, that's the best. And he was just like, at the end, he was like, so who's thinking about moving in here? I was like, yeah, he's me. And he's like, where are the women? It's just, just you and that black guy? Worst nightmare.

He had a, like, yeah, Blue Lives Matter shit on his truck. He's just an interracial gay couple being like, this is a fabulous neighborhood. He could be a problem. He was, that was the discussion in the car. That's the type of guy that could eventually, me and it, I might have to have a shootout with him and his dog. Eventually.

We could be boys. I think we'll be boys. Boy, you're thinking boys are enemies. I think that guy's down to fucking pull out the blicky. What? I think he'll bullet out it. one second. Whoa.

What, dude? Anything, probably noise. Yeah, Lamar, you'd have to tread lightly

around there. He was shirtless. Longhorn's trunks, longhorns, longhorns of Izer. He's a legend. He could be a real issue. That's,

I mean, that's crazy. Also, what do you think he was, tackle or guard? Because you guys could form the O-Line.

Who are the other neighbors? True. LeMizzi's de-Tackle, though. Yeah. He doesn't have the O-Line build. doesn't have the length

but you do have a good nose guard Nate's grown into an offensive guard Nate went from DB to O line Nate's fighting had a higher weight class right now Damn That's crazy Yeah he seems like the man

Yeah I don't want to be smirked Yeah whatever The lady the real estate lady was like I think he was like Me too I was like I think this guy's going to be my fucking boy.

He's an older gentleman. He blocked for Earl Campbell. What? A Texas, which is awesome. Yeah. What's the fence situation? I don't want to give away is, this is hardly a fence. Yeah.

It won't be done. And the whole house is, my house is that I would buy. It'd be like just glass. That guy's going to watch me and LeMere naked. He's just at different levels. Two different fat naked guys. Maybe you guys would catch you. I'm sure he's.

prancing around as well. I think, yeah. Damn. I think we might have the most vicious three-way of all time. That would end the world. If me, LeBaron, that old guy had sex. It's like the had drawn collider. It would create the god particle. I mean, that's

of all the... Could be a triple heart attack. Could be a simultaneous... Be like when they find those like rat... There's like rat nest where those were those called and they all get stuck. A rat, yeah. Oh, I just all stuck together and dead.

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That's a rough one, man. More info can be found on the prize picks promos board. Prize picks, a preferred partner of the NBA. What are the odds, though? Just an absolute beast. Perfect neighbor. O-line neighbor. Yeah.

Humble, too. Humble, man. So I always liked about the O-line. I was so humble on the O-Line. You have to be humble, dude. Protecting the quarterback. I'd be like, with my fucking life, I'll die for him. Yeah, dude, this is...

No one ever celebrates you guys. I'm like, dude, if you keep talking like this, I'm going to come. I was only like 10. I was only 10, but I was already like, this feels so good. It feels good, dude. Be like, dude, nobody even noticed. You're the silent hero. I was like, yeah, I guess you're kind of right, coach.

You have always been kind of the quiet of hero. Although, dude, it makes sense, though. You have like a 37-year-old dad. Be like, nobody appreciates you guys. And you're like, that must be the most fulfilling thing. you're working your ass off no one even noticed this fuck

it's nice football coaching really must be so fucking sweet I only got to do it one year but it was awesome you did yeah got to call plays it was really fun well you were coordinating

I was up in the booth dude what was your style it was it was early we were on the read option we were it was we were a little ahead of our time yeah yeah

high school or is that no eighth grade read option eighth grade We had some talented ball players. We had some guys out there. Shout out Dill Pickle. Shout out Danny Jay.

Shout out Dharb. What up? I'm still. What up? The Coog. What up? The Coog. Shout out of Jay.

What up, boys? I'm still sweating. It was beautiful. Faked it. They bought it. I ran. I fumbled. I'm still thinking about that fumble.

Could have changed the whole game. Where'd you fumbled? We were, in the red zone. I was like, I got us into the red zone fumbled. And I was just like, I was after I'll shove somebody into a girl, which also regret. Reminds me that video game fumble. Oh. Damn. Damn. Now it's real. Yeah. Oh, this is tough. It's a tough. Oh, I got good bird news. What did you got? I have seen some rents kicking around. They're out in the, they're out behind. They're they're really? But, uh, I hope. Uh, I hope. Uh, I hope.

hawk, two hawks have moved in. Not into the bud light box, but just right here. They're hawking. There's two hawks. It's very exciting. Yo. Some red-shouldered hawks. Yeah, I was just about to ask for the ID. Yeah, red-shouldered hawks. Fuck, dude. I don't know if they come to Texas, but

yeah. Red-shouldered house. How'd you ID? You went off? Yeah, but it was pinged in, like, Pennsylvania. Gotcha. Yeah. Sent a picture to a friend and they AIed it. Your phone can do it. I could, yeah, I could have done, but they did it for me. Just sent them a picture.

the hawk i said check this shit out it's more satisfying honestly that's again that's most of my day i was just standing in the pool just looking at a hawk going to i gotta send this to my boys dude getting the idea on the hawks nice especially you know that owl you had was so bro burrowing owls endangered species i had the privilege of being i was walking around they were everywhere and dude they i was i mean this was a huge moment for me uh someone in the daytime dude the burrowing owls are all day time that's good stuff i know i think that's good luck I mean, dude, I must be, well, I could use it right now. I'm down right now.

But I can use it. I'm down to the dump side. Why? It's all right. Just run the program. Just run the Irish morning program. I'm so down on my luck. Things are so terrible.

No, I'm chilling. But the owls were, no, I'm perfectly fine. But the owls, the owls were really nice, man. They were really, they were pumping me up. It's funny that every episode, the wheels are just flying. Emotionally, for the last 10 years. years. We've both just been like, no, I'm actually doing good. Things are good right now. It's been fucking nuts.

Totally fine, fully in control. Everything's cool. Everything's completely fine. My life's not a giant house of cards. I could collapse in a second. Yeah. But yeah, the do the owls. I got to, because I was there, Brittany goes, you know, the bird. That's when birds come into play. Big time, dude. You see some birds. You go, it's going to be all right. Dude, there, it was birds during the day. nighttime my dad has a fish light

so out near the dock he's on like the bay in Florida out near the dock is green light illuminates and you just throw chicken into the water Brom taught no I show these guys maybe 25 catfish swarm and they pop you they like will come up to their like whiskers

breach and then they gobble it up and fly down that's awesome it's dude I was living by burrow owls and then obviously lizards were carrying me through the day and then it was the catfish at nighttime And it was just so, it was so nice. I also ID'd, I remembered the the owls, by the way.

Brittany tried to say, I think he turned their head 360 degrees. I was like, I think it's 270. Looked it up. It's two fucking 70, bro. Holy shit. 270. I mean, that felt good.

Clocking your bitch with a 270. I mean, oh, you can tell me about else? Yeah. Watch this. Yeah. And then I was like, well, they could do. The degrees, the head. The degrees is incredible.

O'Connor saw the hawk when he came over yesterday. It was like, look at it. head it's moving at about 280. I'm not kidding. Like the first thing you said was the degrees of the head turn. That's the best thing about becoming an old man. You get to just start just being like, that's a silver birch over there.

It's pretty nice. My dad's the kid. I'm getting pretty nasty at the trees. Trees and native flowers. I'm getting pretty good at. It's killing me. I want to put some fucking shit out in front. So bad.

It's blank. What? You have a whole blank. Oh, yeah, that, yeah. That's every, every week, I'm like, I'm going to go depot and just load up. Yeah. Just plant, like, nine different things. When I moved here, they did have landscaping out front. Must not happen.

Must not be sprinkled. This should just become old man, Home Depot talk. They probably don't got a sprinkled out there if I had to guess. There is a sprinkler. Is there a sprinkled system? Yeah, it's nice. I'm going to have to dig that up and see where the lines are. Yeah, we're going to have to check the lines out.

Well, yeah, dude, Florida was sick, though, man. I was just paddle boarding on the bay. It's like my, it was the best. That's awesome. paddle, although I got on the paddleboard, I left it outside in the sun like a dickhead. So I went to use it. It was hot. So when I went, I like went too far and I was like, I'll be fine.

I was like splashing water to cool it down, but it was hot on my feet the entire time. Kind of burnt my feet on it. But it was nice. I got lost too. I got lost a little. I got lost enough to where I like had to really try to find the house. Well, paddleboarding? Yeah.

It went out. It's a canal. So it's all like you go and twist and turns. And I was like, I'm going to go all the way out to the bay. And then I was like, that's kind of far. And then I just like turned around. Came down. I was like, dude, I feel, I'm lost.

Yeah. I saw one Tiki Hut, and I was like, that's my landmark. When I came back, there was nine Tiki Hut. Yeah, everyone has a Tiki. Fuck. Yeah. Fuck. So that was cool.

I got the feel the feeling of Landho. What are you guys whispering? Ooh. He got his spot switched. You got a free death? Damn. Do you think the Spurs have a chance? Yeah.

I think tonight they have a real chance. That would, I would actually, I want the, I'm pulling for him, man. Trying to get the, Trying to get some tickets to the Spurs game tonight. The arena is probably the loudest I've ever heard, like, a basketball game. When I went to see Sixers versus Spurs, they were, those, those, the lads go crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

The lads are going to the lads a lot lately. Have you really? Yeah. And out in public and they've all been very like, yeah, the lads are with you. The lads fuck with you. Dude, the lads, yeah. The lads might be our strongest demo. I think they're for real, very up there.

They fuck with the secret pop. do. Did you really? You saw a lad in the movie theater? What happened? I was playing the claw machine waiting for my movie and he went, Gardini. And I went,

What's up, man? And he went, oh, fuck, that's actually you? And I was like, I went and saw obsession. Good to see the foos. Yeah, he was a nice guy. The lads in the foos. Yeah, that's nice.

The lads are staunted. They do tell you. They always tell you, I swear allegiance, like, yo, we fuck with your podcast. It's very nice. Dude, you have no idea how much that pleases me. It's a, it's a, it's a, um, it's a finicky demo, man. Not every, everyone thinks they can capture the heart of the lad, the hearts of the lads,

but it's, they're complex creatures. They are. Everyone thinks, I'm going to get the lads. Every politician is like a Latino vote. It's like, bro, talk to me. Yeah, we'll talk about it. Yeah. We'll tell you how it's done.

Yeah, we'll tell you how it's. Yeah. I think Kill Tony has the lads, too. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. The lads like wild shit

Yeah, they're the fucking Aztecs of Mayans, dude. True. They're warriors. Exactly. Also, I'm fluffing the lads. They love hearing that shit. No, the lad, they are a very, like,

I mean, the memes are the best when, like, the red pill, blue pill for the lad has become, like, an extreme mega-Trump conservative or just, like, a black guy. Red pill, blue pill. They basically, it's like you become like David Duke, or be going to be here.

Yeah, I'll be excited if we go to San Antonio tonight. Yeah. Yeah, that'll be exciting stuff. That'd be nice. You gotta watch that. I'm gonna be excited to see Jared McCain. I'm gonna go, that's my man.

You also gotta be careful you don't get grabbed and hugged on like that Mexican president. Do you see when the lady got hugged? Do you see when the lady got hugged on? Yeah. The last, If you get a lot, you're going to gropey.

If you get a barrage? If Nate's with me, Nate's getting. You got to jump in front of it, dude. If her lad comes to grope, I'm like the Mexican president. I'll take the group. I'll take the group. Guys? I'll take the group.

What would you throw at him? Throw that ass at him? I could only go so far. I can't say out. The allegations are bad, dude. Yeah, that's slim good. That slim good He sunk you, dude

Yeah Slim good He got you I didn't know Brittany was a massive fan of Cheryl Hines Or Cheryl under By bad

I'm thinking of Fuck my Fuck my fuck me But yeah You got Bobby Kennedy On the mind Got Bobby Kennedy On the mind

After he grabbed those Snakes And you see that video Again? He knows he grabs snakes He loves grabbing snakes Yeah It's pretty wild

Yeah Yeah He snatched them Yeah He did another one Because he did one A while back Also

Hey that's how you That's how you get the lad vote. Grab a copperhead from behind. Lads going, yo, this fool crazy. You got your foo crazy meter has to stay high. Yeah.

I got to keep my foo crazy meter high at all times. Can't let that shit dip. Then you're lame. It's fool crazy and lame, man. You got to stay. Who do you think the craziest foo is in our group? I think Tommy might be the... Or O'Connor.

O'Connor, be the craziest essay. He's loco. I mean, him claiming 280 on a hawk, some crazy food shit. Hawks don't have, first of all, hawks don't out turn owls. That's crazy. I wish I was. It did have pretty impressive movement. Did it really? Yeah. We got to look that up. We need. We got it. Yeah. See, head movement on a red-shouldered hawk. We're going to need that.

270 on now. And I also was like... Got the team on it, all three. All three struggling. Two of them already went to Instagram. Oh shit 180 I like that 180's not bad I was gonna say

it's no 27 there's no way huh wow what kind of hawk they're just the red shoulder so they can get what's so they get 180 but they how

if they don't move you said they can get the 270 yeah like if they're standing still you got some good you might be a little out you got like 120 dude that was crazy that was nice moving oh dude Don't do that again.

I did. The first thing I did when I was claiming 270 was to go outside and go and just see how much I had. Ours is pitiful. Lemery, you might be possessed. That head movement? You're like the exorcist.

I hit an inappropriate. We went through the zoo in Naples. I was outside of Naples. We took my family to the zoo. And there was a tiger cage and no one could see the tiger. My kids were like, I can't see it.

Where is it? I'm like, you know, a trick for seeing? and tigers and they're like, what is it? I'll turn for the camera. I went, Oh. Jesus. Jesus.

We are, we are old men. It's just an old dad racist in the zoo. Nobody laughed. Just my wife hoffed and walked away. Yeah. I was like, that was good. That was good. It's a good one.

That was a good one. I haven't seen that one. in fucking 40 years. We know you never get the opportunity to plus that out. Yeah, I never get to do it. My kids were like, how do you do it? I hate them with it.

They're like, just keep going to go guys. They're doing that. They're breaking that out. They're going to break that out in school. Obviously, another kid's going to talk about Tigers in school. At their age,

Tigers is like top five conversation pieces. Yeah, it was a phone one. Hopefully I turn far off of the camp. I think. I think we can. Fuck it We can just blur

We get a black box We've already done Dude Pandora's box is already open The pendulum The pendulum The pendulum I mean

The pendulum needs to chill The pendulum Pendulum might be 270 Penddle might be 270 It was funny It was funny Because I didn't realize I've been off the internet

So I didn't realize How massive the roast was Until this morning I saw a super cut Of every single person I'm like, oh, this one, like, around the world. This one, everyone was talking about the goddamn... Dr. Ruma called me a fucking Neanderthal.

What? Dr. Ruma called me a Neanderthal. Tell him you want to see the Fredlis, Frederick Douglass, Marcus Garvey Academy open, and then you'll talk. Ask him about the school. Yo, you're going to get Dr. Humor? Ask him about the school.

I try to get him on. He charges like fucking $10,000 to go on. We should pay. It would be funny. Yeah. He's really funny. I actually, to be honest, I like Dr. Rewon. Yeah, so do I.

I'm not just saying that. I enjoy watching him. It's very fun. I think he's hilarious. Yeah. When he does the things, when people can call in and send things in, is,

when he reads his live chat and he blocks people. It's the best. It's awesome. He has to know it's funny because he reads what they say. He knows. He's got to know. I just,

I want to see the school. I mean, I think it's funny getting called to Neanderthal. It's hilarious. I was, I was all right with it. Yeah.

Fucking kind of stuff. I don't know if he's trying to be funny. If he's actually upset, I apologize to Dr. Rumer. I, I, I think he's a smart guy.

I think he knows what plays. Probably edit this out, but I was thinking about purchasing his school. And naming it the Robert E. Lee School for White's only. I'm going to name it Neanderthal, Robert E. Lee. Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, Academy. What about school for the Aztec School for the Lads? Aztex school for the Lads would go crazy.

That would be tight. I think making it, hold on, the Robert E. Lee, Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon's school for higher learning. And then, and then actually dumping a ton of money in it

and making it really successful and actually helping the community. Just as a bit, dude. That would be a good bit. It's a good bit. I just want to see it open, man.

I'm not trying to break the guy's balls. I've been here about the school for all. Yeah, what happened with the school? It's just, never open. It's been the fucking 10 years. It's got to open the school. I mean, especially before he starts coming at, you know.

Neanderthals? He shouldn't even watching the roast. Get the school going. True. The hell are you doing? Get the fucking school going. That is, it is a, I don't know. It's a funny thing. It's a funny thing. Just have the school going. It's a feeling like, dang, they wiped out my accounts again. You know that happened, right? No. What? Wiped out his fucking accounts. You got hacked.

Oh, shit. All the money ready to get the school going. They wiped out his damn accounts. Somebody hacked him and stole his money? And it wasn't. him? He didn't spend it? Somebody else did? Son of a bitch. That keeps happening? I was like, no. I immediately donate it.

I don't want. He put the cash app up. I immediately smoke with him. I for real, genuinely enjoy him. I think he's fun. His shit, his stay. His just like vigilance on the snow bunnies is my favorite. It's my favorite. Someone needs to stay fucking focus, man. Oh yeah. He would. Sorry, Nate.

But someone, also right back at you true you know you guys are both dr humeer should be dr rumour should like me dude he should hate you guys what the fuck true true I was even thinking of my own sins

damn damn I should get him on at the length let him just give a talk please please no comedy just give a nice five minute speech on kill whitey and get off stage. I mean, the boo would be thunders.

The boo would be awesome. He would love that boo. 80,000 Hawkees, booing him. He might ascend, dude. He might start floating, dude. Might evolve. He would evolve. He would Pokemon out.

You might just split in half. There could be two doctor rumors. He could start multiplying, dude. 80,000 white booze. He was going, ah. That's how Al Sharpton lost all that weight. He's split. He would fucking kill at the length, dude.

So far you have sliders. I forgot about the sliders, dude. Sliders in the background while Umar just does this thing. It would be so nice. He's the Prince of Pan-Africanism. It's awesome. It's the best, dude. It is funny when someone's hating on you.

It's like, dude, I love you. I love him. I love you. There's nothing you can say. I fucking love you. I've watched. I've watched so much of his stuff. Yeah. When those guys make funny, it's very funny.

It's awesome. He's, for real, one of my favorite breakfast club guests. Yeah, he's awesome. He's amazing. I've never really seen him do anything I didn't think was awesome. Every single time I see him. I go, oh, fuck you. I have the same thing for the honorable,

which I'm gonna call it. Mr. Farracarcon? I fuck it. Dude, I love. I love Farrakhan. Sorry, I just, I watch him. I love this guy.

He's so funny. Yeah. I've talked about it before. Him on Donahue in the 90s was maybe the best TV thing I've ever seen, appearance I've ever seen anyone do it. They just have him with like Nazis. It's no, it's him and his,

no, it's just him ripping and, uh, just talking. And he has all of his, like, nation of Islam guys. standing there, like bow ties, standing real militant. But he's, these are just 90s. Well, they're just 90s housewives being like, you know, he'll lay out his grievances. And they'll be like, go back to Africa if you're so upset.

It'll be like, no, that's the bullshit I'm talking about. And it'll just, but it wasn't even like, how dare you? He's like, that's exactly. And he just keeps going on. And then he hits this Jewish lady. I didn't know he had a problem with the Jews until I watch that clip. And he, she brought it up and I just watch him go, I have some stuff for this.

And he just fucking goes in. And like, damn. That's one of his big grievances. Yeah, he's, yeah. beefing, beefing with him. But yeah. He rules. I mean, dude, you can't deny

talent when you see it. When I see Farrakhan, I go, that's a talented guy. Sorry. Of course. Yeah, I separate the art from the artist. I guess a talented fucking guy. Yeah. I like what he does.

Sorry. Honestly, it's kind of impressive. More black guys are not as racist. If we were allowed to just be extremely racist. Yeah. We had our day in the sun. Black guys are just allowed to be racist. They do a pretty good job not doing it.

It's pretty, it is pretty impressive, honestly. It's pretty impressive. I was thinking to myself, I'd be bowtie glasses fucking immediately. It'd be so fun being like, what'd you say, you pink pig bitch? Yeah, that is pretty amazing to not, uh, yeah, go in a full force.

It's pretty amazing. But I think, too, I don't know. Maybe it's like, you know, kind of like, you know what? let me like put down the sword. If you've been nicked with the sword a couple times, you go, maybe I won't wield the sword myself as hard. Although I would just come back 10 times harder.

Yeah, it's so funny just knowing you'd be pure bean pies right off the bat. Yeah. People don't talk about the black Muslim enough. I miss them. I haven't seen a black Muslim in Texas. There are so many in Philly and they are some of the, they're rad.

Black Muslims are fucking rad. I swear. worked with this black Muslim guy. He was, I worked with many black Muslims not bragging. But the one guy I worked with was for real one of my fucking favorites. He put me on to this television show. Might have been the worst show. Do you ever see the 100? No. Oh, I, I, dude, he hyped me on this show. I ended up watching two seasons and was just like, I remember you watching it. It's he was like, brother's show. He was talking like, this shit is going to, this is it. I watch it. Dude, the premise is sick. Then you watch it. You're like, this is the gayest show I've ever seen.

It's one of those. I've actually, it went seven seasons. And I do at some point want to watch the finale of the seven seasons just to see where they went with it. It would be kind of fun. This episode is brought to you by Blue Chew. Oh yeah. Fellas, let me introduce you to Blue Chewold. Yo. No, it's not something a rich guy orders at a steakhouse.

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Oh yeah. July 17th at the link. Please, please come to that. I think we just released a bunch of new tickets. It's almost sold out, so hurry up. Guys, 6'5. That is June 5, June 6. I'll be at the Summit City Comedy Club, Fort Wayne, Indiana. But then I'll be in Spokane Comedy Club, 813, 2026, 814, 2026, Spokane Comedy Club.

And then there's a bunch of more dates coming. They should be on my website. They're not for some reason. I'm going to dig into that and update you guys. Go to Matt McCusker.com. Anything good? Have you watched anything good? Yeah.

I watched Train Dreams. Oh, the Dennis Johnson book. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking great. Yeah, in the beginning, they didn't have them throw the Chinese guy off the cliff, did they? Yeah, they did. They did?

Yeah. Okay, because I know they did that in the beginning of the book. But did he help? He slightly helps. He grabs his legs. And he's kind of saying, like, what do you do? Like, why are you guys doing this? But he still kind of like grabs his legs.

Gotcha. But then gets kicked off and then they throw him. Okay. And did the Chinese guy die in the movie? Yeah. Because he doesn't. In the book, he doesn't. Oh, man.

I haven't finished it yet. Clambors. Oh, my bed. What, did they throw them? They throw them off a bridge. Yeah, I think he, like, in the book, just, like, catches the thing and just kind of, like, clambers away. They don't show you.

They definitely don't show them surviving. Okay. Yeah, it was funny in the book because he just, just walking home and he's like, what are they throwing a Chinese guy off a cliff? And they're like, yeah, I'll help. And he just doesn't even, then he doesn't. He's like, I was kind of fucked up.

I should have done. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why I was so eager to help that guy. It's pretty sick. How far, how far into it are you? Two-thirds. Okay. Yeah.

It gets kind of freaky there. Because so far it's pretty sad. Just as sad as shit. I didn't think it was going to be that sad. No, I had it recommended. I'm like, oh, cool. You know, like I like the time period. And then, like, right away, I was like, oh, fuck.

Yeah, it's pretty devastating. He'll find her. Yeah. Not in the woods. Nothing good happens in the woods. Yeah. No, that was pretty good. You know what was surprising?

I rewatched recently. And I actually wasn't a fan. It was Wolf of Wall Street. I thought I loved that movie. And I rewatch it. like the whole fucking first 45 minutes is like, and then I got pussy again. They tell you how much drugs we did?

Oh yeah. And I was like, dude. I was watching. I'm like, I still love this movie. I watch it as an elder man. I was like, this fucking guys are punks.

Yeah, they're punks. Yeah. It was also like, it was just, it was just, I, you know,

I was watching it with a, with Britney. So I'm kind of like, all right, he's blowing cocaine up her butt with a straw. I'm sure she's not like, what is this?

Yeah. Just let go. It's a good movie. And then it was just, 40 straight minutes to be like, and then she sucked my fucking dick. And I was like, Jesus. Yeah. It's a comedy. Yeah. So you watch it as this guy's a fucking moron. Yeah, true. And it's, I'll tell you what, then we watched Legend of Beggar Vance. Jesus. It's been, it was, it's been years. It was awesome. Yeah. I was just like, this is much better. And I was like,

dude, I'm not going to lie. This is much better. Not even going to hate. This is, I mean, I thought the Wolf of Wall Street was like one of the best. If you had asked me before that, I'm like, yeah, it was one of my favorite movies. Yeah. Rewatch it. I was like, I think it was the, setting you're in. Yeah. I think that'll affect it. For sure. With the babe, just going, this movie's kind of fucking me. Yeah. It's kind of, this movie's going to affect my night. Yeah. Because now my wife's going to be like, is that what you want to do? No, of course not. I would hate that. Just getting a ton of pussy and doing coke with my friends and being extremely rich. So it would suck. No, I like this.

When he was talking about like fucking his cousin and like what they would do with the retarded kid, he's like, I throw it out in the woods. I was just like, like in the bed being like, just looking at open, everybody gets better at this. This is weird. They just do crack. All right.

Could have been set and setting. You're right. Could have it's been set and setting. But I genuinely was like, you know what? This is kind of getting old, man. What the fuck? Bagger Vance is just next level.

Bagger vans is Moses. Moses. Dude, for real, I never saw Bagger Vance. It was amazing. I thought the movie was about Will Smith crushing it at golf.

No. The whole time. I thought Will Smith just crushed it in golf. And not the kid. case. No. But is he just a caddy? A secret catty? Super spiritual caddy. It's all about the field.

It was kind of sick though. Baggervance. Two thumbs up. Both Wall Street, dude. No. Didn't like it. It was just, I was like, no, you're right. I'm going to have to give it a rewatch. It's too much. Yeah. Too much. And it's too much of that like, I know what you're thinking. Me and my boys are crazy. That was that was big during a, what is it called?

not fight club fucking entourage was big in and what was the snatch that was that big like this is the craziest thing you'll ever see yeah

and it'd be like I don't know he does it yeah he always does it yeah I mean he's a master obviously I'm not gonna yeah you know I just

it was good fellas holds up though good fellas is great it's great every time yeah good fellas always be confused because I when I lived with Tommy he would watch it every night

that actually makes a lot sense he'd be drunk watching Good fellas. Like, God, this guy watches everything now. I understand. Yeah. You're drunk. It's one of the best movies.

True. It's so good. Just toss it on. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was, I'm getting old. I was watching. I'm like, this is fucking crass.

This is very crass. It's disturbing. It's crude. It was crude. It was very crude. There's no two ways about it, Matt. Yeah. Then he had, yeah, you know what?

You're totally right. It's just him. Jerk of Wall Street. Just him leaving his wife and fucking fucking fucking this chick. And I'm like, that's not good stuff. Yeah. This is crap. All right.

Turn this crap off. I don't even daydream about stuff like that. That's crazy. Put on Bagger Vance. Yeah. I might start watching Bagger Vance. Watch the notebook. That's good.

Your husband dies. Yeah. That's what you do. Let's watch. Let's run Choccalot back. But yeah, I was, I was movieed out, dude. I was just crushing movies every night. Million Dollar Baby.

That was a sad one. I don't think I've ever seen. seen that. MDB is sad, bro. Yeah. And it's funny because I knew, are you familiar, like, kind of with the plotline? Yeah. So I kind of knew what was coming.

Brittany had no clue. So she's like, you know, like, oh, she's going to take over and be the champ. And I was just like, kind of, we'll see. Well, that's what happened to me watching fucking train dreams. I was like, man, this guy's life is awesome. I was like, I was going to bed. Like, what the fuck was that? It's sad as hell

It could have been why I woke up with the Irish Good Morning That'll do it Yeah I I I'm The Irish good morning

And just like look at you You piece of shit Your life's in shambles Told you my mom hit me up the other day With just The worst news About people I don't even know I was like thanks

That's yeah It's horrible That's absolutely horrible I guess this is a little grim I'm like yeah This is I don't need this right now Yeah I'll be on a walk

I don't know I don't want to walk my mom will call and just be like, they're kids not doing good. Oh my God. Who? Who are these people? It's a girl I used to work with. Like in the fucking 90s?

Do they live around us? It's like they're in Kentucky now. So you're just calling to tell me about a terrible tragedy in Kentucky right now. I'm like, all right, mom. I'm going to go. Oh, okay. All right. Have we talked for too long?

Oh my God. I mean, they got to offload that because that does get crazy getting older and older to win like more. I think I know like, I don't know. How many people do you know your age range that died? It's been like not a ton. Not too many.

But yeah, they get to the age where it's like people start dropping. And all you can do is party at the beach. Party hard. Just stay tuned to the Fox News. Parrot the shit. We have to bomb Iran. I mean, bro. I think we bombed him again yesterday.

Yeah. You're wrong. I think so. Gotta be done. Oh, here we go. Another one? There's a Trump fart video? There's another fart video has dropped.

Send me the link. I'll try to verify this. These farts are crazy. There was a lot of farts on both sides of the aisle for a while. The fart vids are huge. Sorry, I just farted myself. I mean, doesn't he like crush Mickey Deeds and shit? I saw he just got out of the hospital or something.

He did a checkup or whatever. It was all amazing. Yeah, I'm sure everything was great. Everything was fucking amazing. He's sharp as hell. Best farts. He's also 80 in crushing McDonald's. The farts must be fucking chaos, dude.

Yeah. When you're 80, there's got to be parts of you that are kind of dead already. Everything. You're like a Pirates of the Caribbean. Is it real? We got to get, I got to get. Hey, dude, I have it right here. Damn, it's like an old, like, it's an old, uh, yeah, Nixon, Mike.

I'd like to see it. That'd be crazy. If that was, if that was his, like, secret Nixon recordings, which is like, just like, just warred. Just nonstop farge. Oh, my God, dude. Let me see.

Yeah. I mean, stepping behind the column is respectable and true. So what? Dude, the people in front not dying laughing. It can't be real. They're trained. They're trained, dude. They're trained.

You can't be trained for that. Just ripping that fart. No one on earth can survive that. Yeah. Yeah, the fart, the political like fart smears are crazy. Because it's like you have no way of proving if it's true or not. Those, yeah, and that was recorded from a fucking dis.

Yeah. There's no, you have to, there's no, uh, if that's real, that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. He's outside. It looked like. Yeah, but he was behind the column. And I'm saying the acoustics of the old.

You want to believe, dude. Yeah, that's a limit. You want to smell that far, dude. That's a living. You love this. that for a go. Oh, he pooped his he pooped his pants. Ew.

Smells like a 39 count felon. Yeah. Yeah, there was a, there's a major AOC was getting levied of farts. AOC apparently had farts. Trump had farts. Biden apparently shit himself. There was a lot of shit in itself.

Yeah. And farts going around like COVID in their COVID error. Yeah, the shoes on the other foot now and the Republicans don't like it much. True. See, it's kind of mean when you fake audio. If it's real, then that's incredible. We need to get verified. I mean, how do you?

You'd have to call the journalist and they'd have to be like, yeah, I was there. He fucking farted. It was crazy. It was crazy. It could be a whistleblower. One of the, one of the secret service could be like, dude, that was real.

He fucking uncorked one as soon as he got out of the car. What's the point of being the president If you have to hold in your farts You know what I'm saying You're the boss And you gotta just hold in your No you move behind a pillar Gentlemanly

You probably learn that in fucking etiquette school You find Find a giant stucco pillar You just rip Yeah I was back on the cheese for the vacation I was that was nothing You were hitting cheese

Woo bro I was I was crushing cheese all vacay Beach farts are crazy Dude it was Yeah, fully sunpowered. Chee. And then we'd be watching Bagger Vance and just...

I was real. I just was my dad. I was in my dad's house. Just doing exactly what he does is watching movies with a lady and farting and then feeding catfish. Pretty much all I did. It was kind of nice.

It's fucking where it's at. Yeah, it was. I mean, you can tell I'm sun maxing right now too. I'm completely... I was telling them I'm getting melanated to die in trying this summer. it's all you can do I just

it's all I get you're gonna die try yeah that's what happens to all of our our ancestors dude I got a nice

I mean I have like a solid that's a crazy tan dude bro I just been I just been raw dog in the sun just letting it just crush me I kind of dude I sleep good

I feel better my nose no I'll get sun cancer in 20 years but that's nothing bro you get that the MJ lasers cut it right out

yeah my dad got my dad had skin cancer a couple years ago They just fucking cut that shit right now. He'll have skin cancer every 10 minutes. Yeah, who cares? It's nonstop.

It's nothing. He's unmaxed his whole life. It's fucking wild. I know. He's one freckle at this point. He literally became a black guy. He's Dr. Umar.

Dude. He, all his freckles, joint forces. He's got to open the John L.A. Fred and Doug Flutty Academy. Talk Flutty, John Elway Academy. Yeah. I should just, yeah, the Larry Bird. The Larry Bird Academy for Higher Learning.

I feel really bad if he opens it tomorrow. I'm like, fuck. Although I feel good. Yeah, that'd be great. That'd be great. If our voices, we found power in our voices and found to open up. You know, I was going to send my kids there. He would not be happy, dude.

I wonder how he feels about that. poorly he would hate it you would hate that yeah he would be fucking furious what you're talking about he would not like it although i wonder i wonder if you you know if you commit to the bit i wonder if there's a part of his heart that goes like i love all children he has to be like shut up dude you're going to ruin our whole fucking career yeah everything we built you hate them yeah although i may i don't he probably doesn't hate them he probably said about stern doesn't get down like that anymore we could have umar verse what was that guy's name Carver, Daniel Carver,

the Klansman that he used to bring on Stern, Carver versus Dr. Umar would be a battle. That would be a battle. You could probably still set that up. And honestly, it's like, you know, it's a fete, it's a, you let them fucking debate. We could do that from now. That could be a little segment you and I do on the show.

Dude, just do racist battlebots. Every week you bring in a different type of racist guy? A racist fool would be sick, dude. They're out there too, but they are out there. Yeah, getting a nice little, sending like a racist foo against like a, like a U of T gender studies major. It would be so nice. So it would be, we'd have to throw in the red flag. It'd be three seconds.

Be like, bitch, you'd be like, all right, come on, hold on. Get them out of here. Hold on. My food's fucking wild. Racist battle bots would be sick, dude. It'd be awesome. You and me could just not be on camera. Yeah, be amazing.

I have two people sit right here. just let them fucking be racist to each other we get mystery science theater you just see our heads right in the camera and I'd like to hear you elaborate on that actually he was just keep going floor floor sleep what do you mean by that now's the period of the question

response we'll step in if we need to moderate you haven't haven't just they'd be nice it'd be nice too just having just like they almost you know the dudes are calling a sports radio just letting guys go dude like yo what do you think about people call in Yeah, or just come in, having them come in and be like, yo, the floor is yours.

You're a steelworker from Montana battling whoever, you know, this guy, some weird guy who believes in aliens fucking go. Rip. It would be like the scrapyard, but for debate. Yeah. Which is, I mean, I'm all a scrapyard right now. Of course. I'm all. Street beefs.

Shout out street beefs. Street beefs. Is street beefs scrapyard are the same thing, or is it similar? I think so. Okay. Well, they've been getting, I've been seeing a lot of, um, Look it up. Yeah, we need, we need, uh, we need some intel on that, please.

We, I've been seeing a lot of, uh, like, 55 year olds versus 21 year olds. Yeah, it's a good matchup. God, it's a really good matchup. Old boy. What's his name? What's the guy, something like that? What's the guy fighting for his fallen friend? Barn dog.

Barn dog's nice. Barn dog's real nice. Gas station white. Shout out gas station white. Yeah, barn dog. The speeches are the best. Yeah. So my friend killed himself and fighting for him.

It's pretty good. And you really root for him. Yeah, you sent me that guy. Yeah, he's a good one. How'd you like the guy who goes, this is just a test? That was trouble. Dog said he found his friend hanging and he had to cut him down. Yeah, that's tough. Yeah.

Thanks, thanks, Lemaire. Let's get that involved. Paul said it in the mix. Although you can see it as fighting, though, man. He's, he like, I mean, being a 55-year-old. Scrapyard is like the, Pacific Northwest Street Beef's contingent. Okay.

They're all under the street beefs umbrella. Yeah. But it's not Satan's backyard. It's a different. Do you ever fantasize about throwing your hat in the ring in a scrap yard? Yeah. I'd be real selective. So scary.

Yeah. I think about it. I think about it. I'd have to be very selective about the fight. But it's, every time I watch it, there's a part of me being like, bro, I want to get it in the fucking plywood, dude.

You got to fight death sentence. Who's deaf sentence? You got to fight death sentence. Yeah. Matt versus death sentence. Who's death sentence? He's a spindly fellow. Is he a knockout artist?

He's a bitzoo guy, which is... I feel like he kind of loses a lot. He almost... He's an anime black guy who kind of... Oh, I saw him. I saw him. Yeah. He trains under the tutelage of Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson. That was he really?

Yeah. But there's another one. There's an anime white that fights with him. Wing C. What's his name? Winged C. Wing C. He's nice. He's from like...

717's all in the fucking... scrap here like, street beefs, excuse me. Yeah, I saw that guy, the anime black guy who was like brought in, which again. Who's the guy in the suit that acts like a weirdo that like acts like he's teaching? I don't know his name, but I know exactly what you're talking about. He acts like he's like in a John Wick movie or something. He's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's, and every now and again, they'll be guys. I think they do a good job putting skill against skill. But they don't really, couple times. They've whipped a couple times. He once in a while they feed a guy of the lions. Poppus is the suit guy.

Yeah. It was a black guy I just watched. He was wearing a suit. And it was a good battle. And then in the third round, his shirt was off. And I was like, all right.

It's time to lock in. Yeah. Now you're in trouble. Dude, scrapyards, I don't know, man. It might be my preferred arena of watching combat sports. Dying in the scrapyard would be. So, horrible.

Burry me, dude. right in the center ring that'd be nice even if I got like really hurt just bury me right in the center ring sprained wrist

that's it I'm done dude bury me at the scrap yard oh I didn't tell you my uh speaking of bury me dude my my brother had

he was in the shower he's telling me about it was killing me he had the he was in the shower and he's just like soaped himself up and he felt a little lump

on the testies and he goes fuck dude he's just like that's it I'm dead like I'm not doing anything I'm not gonna talk about I'm gonna ride this out

it's over bro I got the big C I'm out and then as he's investigating he was like what the fuck and he found out it was a tick

oh my god that had burrowed oh my god that's worse I know dude so he had it burrowed in to his nuts

and once he found this out he was like he went to his wife and was like yo you gotta get this thing out of me oh my god so dude he goes he was like huge first of all big mistake both both me and my dad were like you've got to go to

the emergency you can't have your wife do that because they don't do they're going to just pick you right the head in dudes well it just also there's women don't have a uh you know they don't realize how truly sensitive and like terrifying that is to get hit in the nuts or like a tick in there of all things so i mean if it was soaking if it was like sucking come out of it'll be sick but like just all day like It was on your epididimus. That's a different thing. Something's wrong.

But it was just there. So then he was like, you know, obviously she's pulling it out. No respect for the sack. Just yanking at that thing. And he goes, dude. He's like I was demoted just multiple leagues in her. Because like he's like, it ended with like I was such a baby about it. I had like a towel over my top half of my body.

I was like, oh, oh. Dude, of course. I know. The whole time he was telling me, I'm like, you're so right. And he goes, no, but dude, like, the whole time, like, ah, he's like, I was beyond crying. I was like, ah, ha, ha. And then finally got it out. I mean, now I want to check my sack.

I know. I think this is the second time we've caused the listener to physically react, including turning his neck as hard as he could. I think almost everybody listening wanted to go, I wonder how four. Dude, he was telling me the story the whole time, he's going, no, no, everyone's going, I should definitely check my nuts. You got to check your nuts.

Apparently, there was, you know, the ticks are big, apparently everyone thinks. Yeah, they're going wild right now. Everyone thinks it's Bill Gates ticks. I think they are Bill Gates. He had a Bill Gates tick. He had the Bill Gates tick right in a sack. And, dude, and he was...

Well, yeah, he has to go to the hospital. That's... Both me and my dad were like, bro, that's... I find out if he has Lyme's disease now. He already conquer Lyme disease. He fasted for two weeks straight. He did a 14-day fast, conquer Lyme's disease. He didn't eat for fucking 14 days.

He claimed it helped him. He claimed it helped him. He probably destroyed himself. People don't recover from that. Limes? No, like prisoners of war that are like... No, you can rock. Dude, you can do two weeks.

Yeah. He'd dry fasted for four days until his vision blur. And he was like, I for real thought, I think that fucks you up. He didn't drink water for four straight days. I know the fasting community. Obviously, I'm not the one to speak on it. 14's crazy.

I've done five and I felt like, all right, this is getting, but apparently what happens is after like, you know, one day, he's like, oh, fuck. Two days, like, damn, I feel fucking amazing. So he said it would just be up and down. He'd be like awesome. I think by the end of it, he was genuinely fucked up. But you start shitting like all kinds of crazy shit out too. Because I don't know what's going.

When you don't eat, your body's like, all right, just get rid of all this stuff. he claims he looked into it that helps with Lyme disease it could be wrong look that up guys let's see let's get some information on 14 day fast yeah I think he's because what even is I don't even know what the fuck it is I think it's a I think it was a bio weapon Lyme disease yeah could be I think it was I think it came from a military island off the yeah off the coast of Connecticut

Lyme's Connecticut and all the ticks maybe got out like escaped what the freak started biting all the Yankees up there oh fuck all the O'Connor Man, we're getting bit. Sweet O'Conman, we're getting bit going, oh, great. Fuck. Now I'm tired in the afternoon. Like I'm fucking Bell's palsy.

Fuck. Let's get the science. It says, well, right off the bat, Google AI, Gemini says, no, it is not scientifically proven to cure. AI hates fasting. But it may help reduce overall inflammation and promote cellular repair. So, yes. It doesn't eradicate the bacteria, but it can't help in certain things. Nice.

You should also take antibiotics because you could get fucked up from Lyme's disease. Yeah. Like you can, uh, your joints, heart's nervous. Dunez, heart, nervous system. Dang. They could all get fucked up if you don't treat it. Damn, sack. Straight to the motherboard, dude.

That was, that was the Randy Quaid. Oh, yeah, it was. But he got to pull it off and he, uh, yeah, he was. How long ago did this happen? There's only only a couple weeks ago. Okay. Yeah, he said he was... A couple weeks, though.

He's doing all right. Yeah, so he's all right. He was benched from the bedroom for a while. He's like, bro, I don't think I'll ever smash again. She saw him at his worst. Yeah. A lady, just like your hairy ass wiggling, like... Which is what I would...

Anyone would do. If you were getting your sack... Oh, I would definitely react. I would never show... I would do that myself. You gotta do that yourself. Oh, pull the tick out yourself? You would have to.

I don't know if I could, dude. I had the fucking bug bite on my foot. I couldn't get that thing. I tried to dig it out, but I went right to bay. Pull this out, please. You can, but not on your sack. But yeah, you're supposed to explode. After you take them out.

That's at least... Not on your skin. You just got to suck it up and sit in the ER for fucking five hours and let a fucking lady or whoever. Actually, can we pause for a second? I do have to pee. Let's do it. Okay.

I just want to see the mayor bag on the pavement. But yeah, that was a harrowing tale. I watched a little documentary on Mao Zedong. What's he up to? He's dead, but he killed a lot of people on the way out. A lot. It's important to study communism. Yeah.

Because, you know, the youngsters these days, they think it's far out and fly. Yeah, it's really weird. It's not. Usually results in about 50 million people dying. Doesn't work. Typically. Yeah, no, it's pretty, I mean, that's, you know, again, I've been making the YouTube debate spear watching that, and that's a big one.

Like, how are you even comfortable calling yourself a communist if that many people died? And it's like, well, it's because it sounds nice. You know, it's like, no, we share. And it's like, yeah, but it starts with the seizure of private property. Exactly. That's fucking crazy. Yeah, it is funny where it's like built on. It's like it's not really sharing.

It's built on the government taking everyone's property. Yeah. What the fuck? The government's terrible. Yeah. I don't trust them with anything. It'd be horrible. why do people want to give them more power

what the hell because this is a LaMere you love the government you love the government we need to pay more taxes I want to pay more taxes we need more money I don't need to pay more taxes

yeah you don't I'd fucking do I mean it would be funny to be like with like Naziism be like well they didn't really do that right they kind of messed it up we should run it again that's the big that's the big communism

they go like, well, yeah, that wasn't, they didn't do it right. It is actually that. They're two, what, communism is what, two for two? I mean, they have a couple other ones. There's a lot. There's a ton of communist countries. They have two big bad ones. The Soviet Union and China are the two.

Big bad boys. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Yeah. It was, I mean, it was like, how many, how many to Mal get? Like 20 mil? Way more.

Yeah. In like a three-year period, they think it might be, I mean, the, the, the, the, estimates are no one knows anytime something happens in china they're like and then 450,000 billion people died in the fucking yellow revolution yeah yeah but no I think it was like the great leap forward and it was like estimated at 45 mil of fucking starvation god damn yeah and that's that's how it works you come into power as the communist leader then you go all right here's the plan if people were like I don't know about that you just murder them yes because you're like yeah okay that's kind of this guy is he's anti-finding

revolutionary. He's against the party. You got to arrest him. And they did a, like the way it started was they got all the kids. They got like the college students. And then they were like encouraging them to be violent towards like older people in the old system.

What? So they'd like beat up their professors and shit which I'd been tough to tough to not fall victim to that. I go, wait a second there's a new president saying I should go punch my teacher in the stomach. Punch this dork in the fucking And then I get all this stuff.

Those kids are definitely getting straight aies though. Right before the revolution. Teacher being like, everybody did great again. Yeah, that, that had a... Well, it's one of those things that like, it is funny. It sounds so nice in theory. Like, yeah, we're all shared. It'll be nice.

And it's like, but in the meantime, we're going to fucking... We're going to just what people's ass. And then no... I don't feel like anyone ever does that well under it. The people at the top do. Yeah. Every single time they do. God, that's got to be sweet.

Yeah, the pigs move into the man's house and starts standing and wearing clothes. All the other animals go, what the fuck? Being the party boss. Well, I've also heard a thing that like, communism doesn't even work unless it's global. So they're like, that was like the real dream. It's Marxist.

Yeah. They're like, well, it's got to be global. Yeah. Just a very funny philosophy. Like, yeah, if everybody does it, it'll work. Like, yeah, it's kind of tricky. Yeah, it's crud. I think it's crud.

It's kind of bullshit. Also, it's not even sharing at that point. You know what I mean? It's like, we should share it. And you put someone at gunpoint. You're like, give them that. It's like when you do with the kids, you're like, share your toys. You're like, fuck.

Here. Having a billion people doing that is not, you know, it's not really going to work. No. They took all their grub, dude. The grub is, dude. You weren't even allowed to have restaurants. They had to have government sanctioned fucking, like, canteens where everyone had to eat gruel together.

It sucks. Blows dick. That sucks. So bad. Yes. And then they miscalculated how much grain they had. So they were taking all the peasants grub. What?

Yeah. Then 45 million people starved. Dang. It's crazy. It's massive. Here's the thing. After it happened, do people come out and be like, my bad? Or it was just like pretty much.

Mao said my bad. Did he? Kind of. They were like, all right, you're not the leader for a few more years. And then he came back. What? Yeah. Did he have the sauce or what?

He did. He did. the sauce. Fuck. That's the thing about all these leaders. They do have the sauce. That's true. So how many people died the first time and then he got to come back again? That's kind of nuts. I swear it was 45 million. Roughly. I mean, they have no idea, but I heard a guy saying 80 the other day. Yeah, max 80. They say, but the great leave forward, they estimate 45, but then over the whole

time, they say around 80. D. 80 mil, dude. And that's starvation, murder or like, just everything. Work camps. You got to build tractors, dude We got to get some fucking nice tractors You're a slave now

And you're building tractors because you said You didn't like Mao That sucks Yeah Did that kind of You know, it sucks 90 million people died Did that step China forward as a power? Fucking huge

Fuck Oh it works Oh no Yeah they're on track to be number one right now Oh God Yeah it works Oh man That's terrible

hope these fucking computers work. Yeah. If you're not afraid to, if you're not afraid to kill most of your population, you'll be, you can do some stuff. Yeah. Fuck. And nobody's bent out of shape about it over there? Are they kind of like...

If you're been out of shape about it, you and your family get killed. So everyone's pretty chill with it. Today? Sure, today they're fine. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, yeah. I think they moved on.

Yeah. I'm sure some people hold on to some... I'd be upset. Yeah, what year? What year are we talking? Like the 50s? That's pretty recently. The great lead forward was probably end of the 50s, right?

That's pretty recent. Yeah. And so China was like pretty poor. Yeah. And then this guy was like, I got... They got rocked in World War II. Yeah. Yeah.

And he was basically like, what if we turn people into Legos? Yes. And they were just like, Jesus Christ, dude. That's so bad. Yeah. And then the other government went to Taiwan. That was who we recognized. Right.

Those are the real leaders of China. And then in the 70s, I think we were like, eh, you guys suck. What? It's China. I thought China was ass-ho. China is asshole. But Taiwan, we don't. Taiwan was, so the original, the Chinese government escaped during the communist revolution.

They relocated to Taiwan. Don't we fuck with Taiwan, though? Yeah, we still fuck with Taiwan. But then we finally recognize communist China as the real China. Gotcha. We're like, yeah, you guys, let's stop pretending. I mean, it's kind of embarrassing. Then they got a nuke.

And then they... Dang. Now did get it done. You fucking did. I mean, it sucks that, you know. I mean, all those, the thing, too, is once you get to not killing 90 million people, it's almost just absurd. Now you sound like Joseph Stalin, dude. Really?

One death is a tragedy. A million's a statistic, dude. It is, dude. And a million, it's just like, all right. Something like that. I was close with that quote. I think you're 100% right. Because if you were telling me, like, he one day and there was his kid and he stepped on the kid's

and killed him. A big monster. Yeah. 90, you're like, the guy was motivated. What the fuck did he kill 90? Yeah,

the guy had a plan. This guy's nuts. Yeah, that's horrible, man. It's also funny getting kicked out and then being like, yeah,

my bad, my bad. Like, I, like, you're gonna be vice chairman for five or six years, and then you can come back.

He's player too. And he had a nasty wife, dude. Did he? Yeah. He married a actress who was like a fucking loudmouthed, dude.

She was a problem. And then, did he kill her? And then when he died, they sends her to death. Oh, that's right. I knew she got some sort of death. Which I think they

just, they changed it to life in prison and then she killed herself. What? In jail, yeah. Honoring. Just on. Honoring the boy. Really?

He's like, Mao's the man, dude. I'm gonna kill myself. Got a sec. But I think she died in like the 90s. She made a wife? Yeah. I didn't hear.

It was this recent that we were alive at the same time as his fucking wife. Damn. Yeah. Ninety one. How did, how did Mal die? Damn, dude. She was alive for Notre Dame's last title.

That's how long it's been, dude. Got to watch it from the jail. Jose Dong's wife was like, Oh, Notre Dame Friday Nighter is number one. Oh, Roo hopes. And when did he die? How did Amal die? He had been murdered, right?

He died. I forget, was it cancer? How do you die? Dang. Yeah. And he had a major heart attack in 1976. He looked exactly like my grandpa. Did he really?

Yeah. My mom's side. My mom saw the family It was very Asian features. I might be a descendant of the great Mao Zaydon. Dude. I've been meaning to look into that guy.

That might be a descendant. Could be. I'm working on the fucking do right now, dude. I might get the Mao do going. He's got the robotnik. I'm going to have the do. I have the do. The males they do.

But yeah, it turns out he was a jerk. I watched enough of it. We always hear he's a jerk, but then it's like, and you always hear he put up numbers, but like... He put up the most. That's crazy. Number one all the time. And nobody really, you know,

you hear he's a bad guy, obviously, but... Hello. That's true. That's true. We're going to edit that out. All right, we did it. Good episodes. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify.

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