Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 631 - B.B.Q. (feat. Joe Derosa)

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH Derosa's Special on NETFLIX now! Listen to his pod 'Vile and Horrendous' Go See Matt Live | THURSDAY Late show Added this wknd @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Joe Live @ https://www.joederosa.com/ Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello :) Shang's home!! We're in big kahuna HQ. We got the P.I.G. with the D.A.W.G.Z. this week. The vile horrendous ... our dear friend Joseph Derosa. Check out his special available on Netflix now 'I never Promised you a Rose Garden'. Hope you all have a nice week. Please enjoy. God Bless. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Wild Wild West. Some bullshit. You know what? That kid's an odd duck. Lamar is an odd duck. He's a real odd duck, dude. You brought down his whole mainframe. I did.

I came home and unplugged everything. I got a roommate. His name's Lamar. You see, the thing is this. He's an odd duck. I mean, dude, he's got to be costing at least, I swear to God, probably $55 a month and paused games. He paused.

He paused. Here's an entire setup. back there. Pause his games and just goes on the road for like a week. I came back. The room's hot from his mainframe, dude. The servers are constantly. You can save wherever you are. Of course. I literally, the first thing I did when I got home was I just went back and ripped all the plugs out of the outlet. I was like, dude, enough of this. That's crazy. I'm going to throw all this shit in the pool when he gets home. It's kind of, yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty wild stuff. His electrical setup was, that was a lot of plugs he showed. He's got a moped now. I was just sitting

next to the house. Where? He's got a broken moped here like a shitty Vespo just sitting out he's like I'm gonna fix that this is meth this is like meth behavior absolutely never gonna fix that no this is meth behavior dude it is this is lots of tinkering

yeah but he doesn't exhibit meth he's not on the meth he does have meth tendencies he just doesn't do any meth shit if he was on meth he would have disassembled the moped yeah true he constantly plugged in computers Probably be a tad thinner too.

True. That's rapid weight loss. Yeah. And his sleeping would not be... He sleeps more than he's awake for sure. Would have to sleep after you. It's all for show. He's laying there like this. One eye opened is...

True. He's faking. Waiting to get back to his plugs and his mouth. Fake sleep for 15 hours. Fooled them again. Joe de Rosa. What's up, dudes? Do do Rosa. Yeah.

Joe do Rosa. I was just thinking the other day, you haven't sung that. You haven't sung that in a while to me. I sang it at the beach. You did not? I did. I remember singing it. Yes.

All right. Because that was like your song for me. I love it. And I love it too. And I hadn't heard it in a while. If you sang at the beach, I was very drunk. I was saying it at the beach. We were in the kitchen.

It was in the morning. I remember. I was staring at shelters when I sang it. Okay. I vividly remember it. All right. I love it. I remember it.

No one really cares about me singing this right now. I know it's probably annoyed. The Jodaroosa song? Yeah. That's what you're... Jodaroosa. That was the drive back. Is that...

I mean, one of the all-time bonehead choices. Cake. It was cake. It was cake. You love cake, dude. It was cake. Go to hear my meals with the ride back. Yeah.

What did you eat? Launched right out of the gate with a KFC. Chicken little, three chicken tenders. And a drumstick. hitting KFC right away. Fries. Yeah, about an hour in. Getting ready to settle in for 10 hours. Ready for this midday.

Extra large R.B. Sandwich bag of cool range to read. Dude, you eat constant. I do. Right? Late night. Pull up taking it home. Whopper with cheese, bacon, double cheeseburger fries. Dude, I was having the time of my life.

Oh, and then a king-sized bag of Skittles, somewhere in between all that. I had the time of my life driving. I was just grubbing. What was the bowel movement like after three fast foods? Completely normal? No, stop. Your body's adjusted.

Dude, the testosterone takes care of all things. Taking test, eating arbyes. You are the king of the road. That's awesome. That's actually pretty impressive. I like that. I mean, the way you deflected the decision making on the drive was impressive. Well, it was really impressive.

As we discussed, I made a massive mistake. Yes, there are direct flights from Austin to the beach. Yeah, and I did not know that because I got travel information from Brian 6. Okay, you called the bees. Beezer. And I know how that call on. You're fucked, dude. There's no fights out there.

He's exactly. You are fucked. You fucking idiot. You can get your phone and be like, are there flights from, and it'll be like, yes, there are. Let me call bees real quick. No, no, no. The problem. In Google and going to bees is crazy.

Geez, bees, T. He's my search engine. Yeah. Beezer. It just says beeser instead of coot-ass bees. Ask bees. Yeah. How do you spell this word?

Like this, you fucking retard. Why do you want to know? Yeah. I don't know. He, uh, he, the only thing he told me was the airport, because I didn't know where the town was. And he goes, this is the airport you got to fly to. So I did go to the internet. But then it was like, no, there's just, there's indirect.

There's connecting flights. Yeah. And then I found out after the fact there was another airport that was closing. The connecting flight argument bothers me as well. Nah, I hate a connecting flight. It's brutal. I just did connecting flights last week because I had to. Yeah, of course. And then to Charleston. Why don't you drive to Lafayette?

Because I had to get to quicker than... Because I had to fly to Charleston and then I had to fly to New York. So to rent a car, it's... Now you got it. Yeah. But the connecting flight in Dallas where Houston is... It's crazy. Yeah.

It's crazy. to drive. How long was the drive? And don't lie. 12 hours. Yeah. 12 hours. Like a G. That's so stupid.

It's less than a two hour flight. Dude, I rode the shoulder. It's like an hour and 40 minute flight direct. I didn't know. We got to take the direction at the table. We're at the beach. And he's like,

fucking six fucked me on this. I'm so pissed at him. I was like, what are you talking about? It's all you. This is all you. No, I didn't.

I won't get into the DM argument. I will not. I would love to get into it. I promise, I'm glad you brought that up. I promise you, I'll tap out if you promise the same. I'm very curious on a new party's opinion. If they agree with- You're not gonna believe how every single person agrees.

If they agree with you, I will tap out. I will not argue. I'm saying 99% agree. But if they agree with me, will you tap out? Can we make that agreement? I promise. Okay. Absolutely.

Here's the, here's, we just lay out like this. I was saying, if you respond to a girl's story on Instagram that goes to her as a DM. And what I was saying was, yes, it's a DM, but it's not the same thing as DMing her. So in other words, Nate. Hold on.

Hold on, I'd like you to start that over and repeat exactly what you said, for the record. Yes, it's a DM. So you're DMing her, but it's not DMing her. No, no, no, but it's not the same. Now, what world are we living in? Hold on. What world are we living here?

Let me just give an example what I mean. The difference is. It's still a DM. But Nate or Sean, you got girls. If your girl posts something funny, right? And I go, ha ha, that's really funny. Turn the story. And then that sends it to her as a DM.

Now, you're friends with her already. Versus if I just sent your girl a DM. Let's just go with the real scenario, not these hypotheticals. It was a girl that was interesting. No, this is somebody you know. If I respond to Sean's girlfriend's story, obviously I'm not sliding into her DMs flirting with her. Right.

It was, it was a girl. I was a girl was definitely interesting. Also, this is kind of turning me on to you guys talking about DM in the room. Yeah. But my question is, is there a difference between sliding into a girl's DMs versus responding to her story that she receives as a DM? I said, yes, there's a bit of a difference there. Okay.

Also, knowing the person, I think is the big difference between that. I didn't know the person. Well, I knew her. I knew her because we followed each other. Okay. That's it. Well, who followed who first? I followed her first.

Thank you. She followed me right back. Let's go with... She followed me right back. Let's go with... Yeah, and then you send her DMs, which is appropriate. I don't think that's... It's wild.

You did start... Okay, we can do that, too, if you want. No, no, no, no, no. I'd love to discuss that as well. You back off now. No, no. You be nice. I'm being nice.

There's a matter that's sealed of the record. All right. All right, hold on. So this is how it starts. He shows me somebody he likes on Instagram. I say, you should talk to... her said we're we're talking a little i said you followed her first he said yeah and then i said you you slid into a dms you i didn't slide into dms dude i replied to a story it tells you it says

what do you think about this story she was asking i didn't say she was asking but i did say but i did say you're responding to the story is a little bit responding to a story is sliding into a dm and i disagree with that i think sliding the dms i think sending a dm like hey what's going on is very different from a DM from replying to a story. What was the reply? This is funny. I don't know. It was something lit.

It was something benign. You have your telephone on his penis? No, I do not. Your telephone is in this room. No, it's not. Left it at home. What was he? He told me not to bring my fucking phone out.

Was the post really like a poll? Like, hey guys. What do you think about this? No, no. It was like, it was like a funny story where it was like, what do you guys think of that's funny or whatever. Right. What was it?

What were your intentions? Oh, you know what? I actually do remember what I said. I actually do it or remember what I said. Yeah. She, I wrote this is awesome.

You know what his intentions. I wrote, this is awesome. Yeah, you're trying to spark up a conversation. This is awesome. This is awesome. This is righteous.

Joe. Joe, pretending you're not sliding into the DMs. is crazy. How are you acting like you're not? Do you guys agree? There's a difference between a story DM and a direct just out of the blue DM? That's the only question.

My question is, regardless, is it sliding into the DMs? There is a difference and it is sliding into the DMs. It's not as... Of course. We both. Yeah, but all, I never said there was a difference. I said it was sliding into the DMs. It is what it is.

And I never said it wasn't a DM. I just said there was a difference. You said it was sliding into the DMs. Let's bump Mike's a... No, no, no. Hey, come on. See, this is the problem, dude. No, it's the problem.

You're gonna. You're trying to take a win here because this is the craziest argument. No, no, no. I'm not trying to say we both were a little bit right. You'd be, you'd settle with a draw right now. I would not say this is unconditional surrender. I need unconditional surround.

Has anything come about the message? You're demented, man. Has the message? Has the message yielded any more fruit? Have you guys? No, it was, it was, it was, a while ago and it was it was not a recent thing. It was a while ago

but we were talking about it and I said to him, we were just talking about it and I was like and then X, Y, and Z well it was simple. I said I would never do that. Yes. I said I would never slide into yeah DMs. I got you. I didn't slide

into DMs. Yes, you did. End of discussion. Now in my defense end of discussion. You know Matt, you know as well as I do Yeah. He's coming in with an argument. He's coming in to push bucks. Yeah, we're sitting there.

So he starts with, he starts with, I would never do that, I would never do that. I would never do that. Well, that's a funny thing to say. Immediately you're on the defense. What did I do? I didn't, I just responded to her story. I did it. Edit this.

Hello. It was one of those things that was like, it was so, like such a frivolous conversation. Yeah. We're talking, we're talking ancient. We're talking ancient history. history anyway. Yeah. There's water on the bridge.

It got so fucking. You got so defensive, so fast. You come in. I love that. That's like, while we're hanging out of the beach, I like a good argument. I know you do.

It's funny. I know you do. And I'm literally there like, I just want to relax. And you're like, no, let's argue. That's how you relax. Yeah,

but it's not how I relax. If somebody says something silly like that, I'm not going to let it go. And Pope, Pope's a little rat. bad ass, dude. Pope is a fucking rat. What do you do? Pope, Pope the whole time, the whole time Shane's sitting there. He's going, he's going, Dressa, you don't have to fuck you, shut the fuck up. You're wrong, right? Right, right. Soon as you walked away, he's like, dude,

you know Shane does this. And you know, he rolled over on you immediately, dude. Immediately, that fucking rat. Especially he did it a few days later. What do you just started? He got a little beach argument going. I wasn't there. I wish I was, I was, I raced down to the beach. I was the day I wasn't there. As soon as I found out about the beach argument. What was, what was the, what was a, my sun shirt on and I ran down. What was Pope's beach argument?

That you shouldn't give college football players, college degrees, because they're useless. But he was like, I only care about real football, pro football. Just a base ankles fully buried in the sand. dude these fucking things right can we talk about those fucking things that Tommy drank at the beach oh yeah oh the string buzz ball looking things it was the worst thing I've literally ever tasted in my life and he said that they were delicious it was great and drank not one but four of them yeah they were like 85 those things were rough yeah yeah put on a clinic real clinic our first night.

Can we discuss night one? We can't. No. He asked us not to him. All right. He was fucking. Mid fucking ranking Celtics.

We're sitting out by the three of us. Me Pope and DeRosa and chairs. Look at the fucking full moon. Beautiful. It was so beautiful. Beautiful. So serene. It was quiet.

You heard the ocean. He's down the ocean. they're going, I'll tell you, it goes, high noons, okay? Neutrals. He put Trulies first. Truly. No, he put, he's crazy. He didn't put truly's first.

He put truly first. He wasn't in his right mind. No one's asking him for a ranking. No one even, he's, he's doing this ranking by himself, unprovoked. He's looking at the heavenly bodies. Yeah, he's going, what are the rankings of the cells? God damn. High Noons are so good.

He goes, truly, surfside. High Newton. And I go, wait, true. Because I thought I was like. I must be misremembering what truly is. He was doing a countdown maybe. Yeah, no, no. He was saying they were,

hey, he was saying truly. It might be like a Copernican revolution. It was. It could have been the Copernican revolution. We burned him at the state. He burned him at the stars. And he said, hold on a second. I have an idea.

I think truly is the best seltzer. He's standing at the sink. He's just standing at the sink in the house. He just goes, ah, Christ. Pulls up a fucking serbs on. Now that was the best. Yeah. He did.

I do a shot with him. We're in the kitchen. incredible. We're in the kitchen. I go, Tommy, let's do a shot. He goes, yeah, yeah. Aggressive for no reason? Yeah, we're going to do a fucking shot. Yeah, yeah. It was my idea. He's just peer pressure you now. Dude, I pour a shot. He pours one. It's, dude, it is like, it is a gulp. I go, bro, it's a massive shot. He goes, yeah, yeah, whatever, man, because I'm a fucking man. We see him. He takes He takes it A fucking truly or whatever it is

Pours it in a glass Dumps vodka on top of it He goes, holy shit Dude, he putting vodka in there? What's it called? He goes, yeah, it's a cutter. He goes, it cuts it. He goes like this. I swear to God, he takes the shot. He

fucking bangs it. Takes a sip of the thing and he goes, ah, Jesus Christ, grabs a third drink a surfside from here and then just starts it. He had four different drinks in, I don't even think he took a breath. He goes, yeah, Jesus Christ. How's this chase?

Dude, we go to bed. We're all just like, fuck, I'm hammered. I'm going to go to bed. Going in my room. He comes running out of his room. Like, what are you doing? He goes, I'm going to go get a piece of pizza and have some vodka. He's, even bees are one point, just hammered watch.

They're both watching intervention. I know. Look at these losers. I do like watching them at the end of the day, just both chill. Yeah. Just watch like A&E for a little bit. Dude, my last day there, I went on an adventure with Beezer, dude. We had the...

Oh, yeah. We had the best fucking time, man. Bez and Dres are the land lovers for sure. I don't know. Major land lovers. Bezzer tried to change the narrative. He did. He was like Poseidon out there, dude.

He went out so fucking far. Yeah. It was like, Dude, is it true you can't swim? Yeah, like, what the fuck you're talking about? I know. You fuckers won't see me swim here. Also, too, like, we would say it all the time.

And then out, he went, he came in unannounced. And all of a sudden I turned, I was like, that fucking beeser? He just, he went out like 100 yards out in the ocean. Was just splashing around. You guys went down the day he got there. And I was like, I'm just going to hang back. I'll meet up with bees. We'll come down.

I was waiting for him. I had a couple fucking surfs. or whatever the fuck they're called while I was waiting for him. He showed up. He starts cracking him. We start banging shots. He's like, the beach is fucking gay, dude.

Let's go to the bar. He hates the beach. I was like, all right. We went to his bar to wear in this bar. It's so funny to fly to the beach all day. And they're like, fuck, beach is gay as hell.

We're in this bar just fucking, we start swaying. I'm like, dude, I go, I can't tell this. Fuck. Never mind. I can't tell the story.

It's fine. I don't think. Or can I? It's probably about you guys doing drugs or something. Yeah. Yeah. It's about Addies. Yeah.

You guys can talk about Addy's, right? She has a legal prescription, dude. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are. So we took, we popped a five-milly before we left the house. We get to this bar. We're like, fucked up in this bar.

Beezer gets two orders of, uh, what's that, what's that shrimp called? Like, Bing, Ping, Ping pile of shrimp. Bang bang? Huh? Was it bang bang shrimp? Yeah, bang, bang shrimp. He gets two orders of it. He cows is the first one that they bring another one.

He's like, that shit's good, dude. He eats a whole other order of it. I'm like, bro, I'm flying on Addies right now. I don't even know how you're eating, right? I go in the bathroom. He's like, let's go to this other bar. I go in the bathroom. It's going to be a 25-minute drive to this other bar.

I go in the bathroom. I'm swaying again. I take another five-milly to try to wake up. I walk out of the bathroom. I go, B's, I did take another fiver. He goes, bro, I just gave you a 10. I go, no, you didn't. He goes, yes, you did.

You just took it. And I was like, oh, shit. Well, we're going to be in for a ride now. There's probably no shrimp. You guys are probably just munching at her off the bar. He's good. Went to the next bar. James, you forgot you took the chopping it.

I forgot just chopping it up with a 62-year-old lady. I called you. We called you when we got back from the beach. You were still at the bar. You're like, I'm coming back, man. I was like, oh my God, DeRosa, you fucking dirtbag, don't come back. Oh, that was a tough one when you came back. Dude, that one will keep to ourselves.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a little messy. Say I entered his room unannounced. I don't give a fuck. It's just high tea. I went up to the room to whack one out. You were in your room for fucking three hours, dude. You jacked on the arrow.

Understandable. That, you know, balance the adderol. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got some. I had a whack went out. He just opens the door.

I'm like, what are you doing, dude? Get out of here. I was so calm. He was extremely calm. He was stim fapping. Yeah. He was completely stim fap. And then he goes.

And then he goes. And he goes. Yeah. Yeah, he just go, get out of here, dude. And he's like, all right. Close the door. He piques his head back. He goes, I won't tell anybody.

He goes, okay, thanks. Immediately goes downstairs tells everybody. I mean, just what a fucking scumbbag, dude. I'm just going to come back and plug in stim-fab. I was in my own room. You stim-fapsed for three hours. I was in the privacy of my own room. And I said it's a sacred abode.

You're in your own room? I knocked first. Yeah, and I was like, beat it. Come in. I gave you enough time to cover up. Get out of here. I knocked long enough. I didn't think you were just going to walk in, man.

Yeah. I figured you'd lock it if you had to step-faving. There's no lock on the door. I wanted to play catch with you on the beach. You're like, get the fuck out of my room. Yeah, I wanted to hang out. I came back down. You did.

I did what I had to do. Bravely, too. That's brave. I would have, I'm going to curl up and like, I might have hit the drive immediately. Just stim fap. Got called stem fap.

What stem fap it means? When you take stimulants and jack on. It's kind of like meth sex, but it's just more private, obviously. It's more personal. Yeah, I get,

if I pop it out of your two, I get kind of horned up for me. Yeah, that's the thing. People, yeah, people are horned up. Yeah, God knows what I said to the 63-year-old woman.

I was probably like, do you want to get married, babe? You're beautiful. I can take you out of here. I can save you. I can save you from all this. We're going to Arby's. It's going to be a 15-hour car. She's like, what are you talking about?

I'm rich. I'm loaded, dude. Yeah. It was fun trip, man. That beach is a truly a gem. Yeah. Oh, yeah. airports having trouble too

because there's been they're like travelers and vacationers have doubled in one year so it's like a million people now they had two million something like that two million people this season really yeah no shit bees that bees wasn't completely line that airport is kind of a cluster fuck oh for sure that airport was packed oh my god

yeah getting in I had to rent a car they do the I didn't know car rental places still did this where like you go to the desk and they just like wait they hand you a key usually you just get to go to the thing and be like hey I they like, yeah, just go get your car and there's a key in it. But they, like, had it go, fish out a key and give you, it took, I had four people ahead of me and it took, I swear to God, like 35 minutes.

That sucks. That's the same. That's the problem. That's like when you go to Key West, it's the best time, but the only part that sucks is, and they've got a new airport, but even their new airport is still, you know, it's not an international airport. So you get like, or maybe it is, but you know what I mean, it's small. But my point is, like, those trips are the kind of places where at the,

the end of the week, you're like, I have to get the fuck home. I'm, like, sunstroked. I've been drinking every day. Yeah. And you go in one of those airports and you're like, God, damn it. Man, this sucks right now. The elderly are fucking brutal at airboat. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. They get there, they get there four hours before the flight. And then as soon as like, it's like, hey, we're going to start boarding soon. They all fucking get up with their shit stained pants and all block. It's like, dude, get the fuck out of the way. Yeah. They get really, they get really aggressive. Those vacation spots, all families.

So the airport was just packed with kids screaming and shit. Yeah. It was a nightmare. Yeah. It was hot. The internet didn't work. That was tough. That sucks. When I'm in an airport and a full, like, when you're like approaching the, you know, like, like, let's say you're both approaching the security thing.

Mm-hmm. Where they, we have to check your idea or whatever at the same time. If I'm approaching the same time as a family and the family takes the lead in, I, dude, I, I, I, I get audible. I'll literally be like, pf. I make noise and shit. I'm like,

fuck you, dude. It's gonna take forever for them to all get through. Dude, some moron fucking dad trying to fit the stroller through the fucking security. I saw a guy

tried to put it through the x-ray machine once. Bro. I did, I was like, I'll literally start being like, bro. There's a metal detector.

Yeah, it's, I can't, dude. I can't with that shit. Sometimes they try to force you to put it through the x-ray too, which is weird. people there, like, put it through.

Like, it's not going to fit. They're like, you have to put it through. And you do it in breaks. And they're just like, oh, I'm sorry. What the fuck? Yeah, they should let you go ahead, man. If you're like a family of four and there's one person, it's like, please. Because it's going to take four fucking ever to get all that shit up.

Your kids are like crying and you're like, hold on, get over it. It takes, it takes all day. There was a dude in front of me. So I was flying out of JFK. And I was on Delta, so I went to the Delta lounge. But they have another one. called the Delta One. Yeah, you're not allowed in there.

No, I'm not. Yeah, you're right. It's for international or something? It's like L.A. and international. Okay. So I just didn't know what it was. So I went in and I was just like, I don't know if I can get in here or not,

but I'm just going to see what it is. There was a dude in front of me. The lady's like, yeah, sir, you don't have access to here. And he's like, but I'm flying to Mexico. And she's like, yeah, Mexico doesn't count. And he's like, but it says right here international. She goes, yeah, but it doesn't count. He goes, but I'm, but I'm.

flying to Mexico. And she goes, I know. Mexico and Canada don't count. You have to be international. And he, dude, I swear to God, he goes, turns. But it says international. Dude, I, as loud as I could, I went, like that. I did the, I did the, and then I went, puss. You went horrible. Oh, yeah. I went with all the black noises. Like that? Fucking dude didn't even flinch. The psycho didn't even flinch. What? And then finally he leaves and I go, miss, I'm, I am able to get in here? She goes, where are you going? I go, Austin?

She goes, no, it's international. I go, okay. And then I turned and I go, see how fast I accepted it? And she goes, thank you. Yeah, I was like, yeah, that job sucks. Yeah, but I can see you could be the guy. 100%. You could be that other guy going, but it says international.

Yeah. Am I, am I crazy or is Mexico part of America? I'm a redeemed. What are we talking about? I'm a redeemed man saying, that's who I was. Yeah. And now I fight the crime. Look how far I found.

But you slid into the girls' DMs. We're flying to a story of sliding into the DMs. They get aggressive with that though. First DM encounter. That's literally textbook sliding. You take it easy now. I'm chill. Wait, speaking to, speaking of arguments.

Let me hear it. I want to, I was not present for this. But I would love to reopen this can of worms. Ledz up. Her of Pachalca, YouTube. The Custrid's defended you too against the tower. Here was the real argument. It was November rain versus Ender Samman.

I was really arguing guns and roses were better than Metallica. And I got so high on my horse. I was like, dude, you two's better than Metallica. I think it might have started you two, Metallica, but you were not involved in that. I don't know. And then you got involved in... I think I started you, too.

Yeah. I remember it being kind of like a... I went on a very confident branch. You two's better than Metallica. But it was weird when you were explaining to me, argument, you, you sounded like you were T. Metallica. Because you go, dude, they said that the edge was better than Kirk Hammett. And I was like, there's no fucking... That was Billy. You're getting me a mistake on my... Oh, Billy was saying that. Billy was

was saying that. Billy and I threw the, I didn't know much about the, yeah, I don't know much about YouTube, but I didn't, I threw Edge out there. I'm like, he's probably nasty guitar. I pulled up a it's terrible compilation of like his greatest solos. I was like, God, damn. It sucked. It was terrible. It's terrible. You two's got some great song. I mean, that's what was an argument. But against Metallica. I don't think Metallica is that good. I'll put Metallica over G&R.

I love you're wearing all black. You're biased. You're a lord of metal. It's true. Bano wears all black. It's all he wears the edge. It's just wearing a black ski hat in like July. Yeah, true.

True. The, um, I'll put metallic over over G&R. You missed a good argument. That one got heated. It was fun. That was, that was, that was, that was, I tapped out. I went to bed and then heard everyone screaming downstairs.

It was, it was, it was, I'll have to O'Connor get. O'Connor was great. He was, he was hot by himself. He started the Prince argument just alone. No one was even talking to him. He would just be like, Weezer, better than Prince.

And we'd be like, who the fuck are you talking to? That argument turned O'Connor homeless for like two hours. He was just like, fuck you, he started naming just random bands for the 90s. Because he looked up, he was like,

there's 2,000 bands better than Prince. Then he just looked up, bands from the 2,000. thinking he had a list of 2000 better bands. He just looked at the top bands of the 2000s on Wikipedia and just went through and named him. Connor is bat-shit. He is bad shit. O'Connor's

bad shit. I made fun of him about this on Stuff Island. This is a real argument he made to us. We were in Westchester. We were, I forgot the bar we're at. But anyway, who's me, Shane, Jamie Lynn Siegler? Oh, this is a great argument.

This is a great argument. Connor is a great argument. is fucking trash. This is the night O'Connor ordered McDonald's twice in a row because he forgot and had the same order on his fucking steps twice. Yeah, we were at Squareboy. Yeah, square boy. Yeah.

And O'Connor goes, he would leave and get McDonald's off his step. Flat out, O'Connor goes, name any fucking movie I can defend it. No reason. No reason. Right? I go, any movie? He goes, yeah.

I go young Einstein he goes that ain't a fucking movie dude I go yes it is he goes it's not a fucking real movie dude I start pulling it up I'm showing it to a little bit he's going that's fucking horse shit and then just walks out he had a he had a good one that night I forget exactly what it was he was trying to name a song I think and he was like you know the song boom boom clap num-a-nam and no, some-a-nam-nam-nam-nam-na-na-na. He was like,

you guys know that, right? We're like, yeah, of course. And he was like, fuck, I was thinking of a different song. He's like, we will rock you. Probably this shit fits.

Him shouting over. I remember I started that argument, kind of fanning the flames, like laughing. Then I instantly just got pulled into it. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

Dude, we were drunk in Mitzis one night and we started talking about Star Wars. Mm-hmm. And he's like, it all sucks. except And I was like, I know you love Andor. It's fine, man. Whatever. And, uh, and then we start talking about the prequels. And he goes, they were dog shit. He goes, they were dog shit. I go,

Revenge of the Sith rips, dude. He goes, it's fucking sucks. And he goes, I go, it's better than Return of the Jedi. He goes, Return of the Jedi is a fucking masterpiece. Right? I go, the Ewox blow. He goes, the Ewox fucking rule, dude. It's my favorite O'Connor line of all. time. I go, they don't rule. And it was supposed to be a planet of wookies. And that would have been so much fucking cooler to see the wookies. Yeah. Fight the fucking empire. And that's why they did it in Revenge of the Sith. And he just kind of just goes, the wookies are a fucking embarrassment.

Dead ass. Totally dead serious. Dead serious. Dead serious. It's so serious. I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about, dude. He would literally be like despondent. He'd be like the wookies are a fucking embarrassment. Yeah. So I'm out triggered.

I get really upset. And then I'm not paying attention. What are you upset about, dude? He's like, fucking wookies. You need to fucking chill or whatever's going on. Holy shit, dude. It's so funny, man. Yeah, you love a good argument.

I love it. Love a good argument. I love it. You just don't like being the one who's screaming about wookies. I love a good argument, but I do get, I do get,

damn, dude, I'm crying from that. Holy shit. Okay, it's so funny. I'm as much of a lunatic as O'Connor, but,

but in a slightly different emotional way. You got, you were quick to get defensive. It was you, me and Tommy. I get defensive. You got very defensive. And you're like,

I know what you're doing. You're all going to gang up on me. You're going to do it. It was like, Joe, we'd just relax. Bliss had been in the thread all day being like, fuck you, you piece of shit. I really thought someone else had his phone. I was like, there's no way.

It was uncharacteristic of the blizz man. Why is Bliss coming at me? I was in the group text. It was just like, fuck the Rosa, fucking piece of shit. I hope Joe dies. It was brutal. Joe was on the beach. Like, dude, I know he's joking around, but like,

that's like weird, dude. I'm not like talk to him tomorrow. It was kind of weird. I mean, it was funny. And then bees started coming in at me, and then you were coming at me. I wasn't coming at it. The second Tommy was like, yeah, Joe, change right. I was like this.

Fuck everybody right now. And that was, you're saying that was just the group chat before we even going there. The night before, it started with bees called me Bertha. And that fucking just rubbed me the wrong fucking way. There's a tropical storm. That was going to hit. So he's called Therresta Bertha. But he's, but he's,

If you get mad at getting called Bertha, you're getting called Bertha. No, no, no, I know, I know. I know. I wasn't mad at him calling me birthday. I was mad that I made a joke that I was trying to be funny with the group where I said, I said, I just drove,

I go, I woke up at 4 a.m. I started driving at 6. At 7 p.m. I just got to the house and Shane and Tommy are asleep. This is super fun. It was just a joke. Like, God damn it.

And then Bees goes, I just walk past a homeless guy, spray shit, against the wall. Why don't you fucking calm down, Bertha? And I was like, what the fuck? Trying to like be funny. It's just funny that I got here and there asleep. Like, it was that made me chuckle. I saw that. I'm like, that's really funny to drive 13 hours. Could he use the ha ha ha, ha, could he use some support in the thread, bro. I'm out there spinning. And then, and then Blizz starts just being like, you piece of shit up, you fucking

die. What the fuck is going on? Dude, that's, yeah, that really threw me off. I was like, what is, what did I miss? Yeah, it was very odd that Blizz was fired up. He's usually. Blizz and I, as, like, privately as a joke tweet, like, we fuck, you know, we send these texts back and forth. But he started going hard in the thread. And I was like, I know it's Bliz.

I mean, he's, I love Bliz, but there's a little, a lot of character. Yeah. It's kind of like weird. Yeah. Did he ever show up? No. He never came. No, I think he thought it was the next week.

He might be there. I didn't, he wasn't at, uh, in Charleston either. No, I think he was in New York. I haven't seen him in a minute. He's usually at all this stuff. Yeah. Anyway. Um, yeah.

Wee. I. What you got? What you got, Sean? Uh, we got the noctus on Tuesday, uh, first and third Tuesday of every month. And I'll be in Raleigh and Charleston at the end of August. And then I'll be in Seattle in Portland, September 10th. And then Portland, September.

You know, I like you to be in front of camera. Oh, yeah, true. Okay, sorry. You know that. I know. And you wanted to stay. They're trying to see the product. You want to be asked on camera.

You're super... Well, I didn't want to be rude. You know. Didn't want to be rude and true. You wanted to be invited. That's fine. Go ahead. Well, I appreciate you guys.

I'll be in Riley, Charleston, Seattle, and Portland. Please join me. Sean Gardini.com. I'd really like to see you there. Thank you. Thank you, guys. Yeah. Guys, also August 13th and 14th, this very weekend.

I'll be in Spokane, Spokane Comedy Club, Spokane, Washington, Portland, and Boston, and then Whirlowks, Michigan, Milwaukee. Please go to Matt McCuster.com. Thank you. I have no shows. Nice. What's going on with you, man? What are you up to? Yeah.

Special came out, Netflix. Rocking. I never promised you a Rose Garden. Last time I was here was to plug when it came out on YouTube. Yeah. And then a year later, Netflix picked it up. So it's out now. I'm always mystified how like these companies work.

I remember some company was like, we want to re-put your YouTube special on our YouTube page for free. And I was like, okay. Absolutely not. Well, they always like, go ahead, I guess. You want to do it. I don't, you know. Then people would watch him, be like, why the fuck is this on this channel now?

I'm like, I don't know either. I don't know. That's a business thing. I don't understand how business works now. Dude, it's wild. Like, I work with these guys that help me with my YouTube. And they're called Wildline. really great but one of the services they'll provide if you want them to is they'll go out and find

all of your clips hey your hummingbird like oh yeah that hummingbird that's all right dude that's right behind you hummingbirds better than your fucking youtube channel hummingbirds are fucking sick hummingbirds yeah yeah but they'll go out and find clips of um like a view or you you know from your pot or whatever that other people just post and they'll redirect the monetization back to you because there's clips there like people just post clips of your pod and they have millions of views on their channel which yeah me and mad have never been too good at monetizing that it's hard it's channels that monetized there's a lot to that was a decision 10 years ago we're like fuck that yeah fun just system we'll never monetize we don't monetize this channel i mean it probably does

i was i was incorrect what i said to you i think if you don't monetize it won't show ads yeah that's why i said no so on my special they were like do you want to monetize it i was like It means there's going to be ads in the middle of the fucking special. No. Yeah. So. That's cool, though. YouTube doesn't show ads if it's not monetized.

I monetized it because my cousin Jeff executive produced it and he funded it. Yeah. I'm like, I want to make Jeff his money back. For sure. You know, so. But, but yeah. But anyway, that's what's going on, man. You ever get into the science of like thumbnail engineering where they'll do a, there's

guys that'll do a thing where they'll put a thumbnail out and then they'll get, they'll put like three different ones and test them. So it's like changing all the time. Whatever one gets the most, they like swap that out after the fact. Netflix does that. Do they really? Yeah,

like pretty wild. The shows, they'll like cycle thumbnails. Yeah. Zhoo clicks on what, yeah. They, the,

my YouTube guys do that with my podcast. They have three thumbnails and three titles. And they AB them. Yeah. There's so much. It's kind of annoying with, with all this shit. Because it's like,

it's, it's hard enough that we all have to like, now do this other stuff that we that didn't even fucking exist when we started doing comedy let alone like we had a idea of it you know what i mean so it's like like we're all doing it now we're all playing ball but now there's like all of these sub elements i think these other people are just they're making shit up so that they have jobs it could be your thumbnail i got you an extra 400 views that'll be five grand i mean have you ever looked at youtube studio it's like the analytics or it's crazy spaceship dude yeah you have to learn it's like it's like it's like never

seen it war it's like never seen it war room reports dude it's also you don't even want to look at that stuff dude you look at youtube analytics and they're like average watch time people stopped after one minute you're like yeah great that's nice you're like thousands of people looked at how long they watched it in two minutes on average yeah it's a fucking 45 minute thing that's great yeah it's good to know yeah yeah i try i try to have some familiarity with it because i'm I'm just trying to look at it like the way you'd look at television or something. You're like, well, this works in a certain way and whatever. So I want to have some understanding of it.

And I also want to understand why when I, when money comes in, I understand why that money is coming in versus just. But you don't understand anything. Yeah. You're a businessman. You're a businessman. Not really. What?

What do you, are you referring to the hoagie shop I used to? Yeah, the hoggies. Well, that's, I'm out of the hoagie shop. Still. No more Joey roses. You made a good hoagie at the beach. I made a good hoagie. You still have it.

I still have it. I still have it. But who knows what the future holds? Maybe one day I was saying that a bad way. I'm like, you have to be pretty savvy. No, no, no. I know you weren't.

I was saying I'm not a great business. You're out. Oh, really? Yeah. What was it like owning a hoagie shop? It's, you were in there getting wasted. You were acting like, you fell down. You're like a Greek guy out of your pizza shop.

You were getting carried out of your own hoagie shop. It was pathetic. I went down there. saw you getting tossed out. I can't believe how few times you and I drank in there. That's crazy. I was in Austin. No, you were in New York.

When did you open it? 2020? Like, I'm actually... Yeah. Shit. That was the whole time I was in New York. I didn't go anywhere. I lived in New York.

I did never go anywhere. I know. It was, you'd always be in Philly all the time. You were doing Gilling Keebs and all that stuff. But like, I don't say it to give you shit. Like, you never came out. I just mean, I can't believe we didn't just get wasted in there for free all the time. Yeah.

Did I, I did not, not because of anything related to my shop. I just did not enjoy the experience of what it was to operate a business like that in New York City. I think I could have very much enjoyed it elsewhere. I did not enjoy it in New York. New York is a very, very hard place to operate. It is a very hard place to survive it. And it was very, very stressful for me. Yeah, I heard just starting, like getting your license to start a shop like that is like really, really, really difficult.

It's funny, all that was easy, which is this is, I don't want to get conspiracy theory or whatever, but I felt like New York because of COVID made all of the red tape extraordinarily easy. Oh, right, right. And then once you were in and COVID ended and all, everything changed, then it. it was like, all right, guys, now we're going to be New York about everything again. Yeah. So rent was cheaper because of COVID. The red tape was easier. The liquor board hearings. All these things were so much more amicable because people desperately,

everybody was leaving New York City. They gave, oh, put out outdoor seating and spend all this money on it because it's going to be a new part of New York City and all this bullshit. And then COVID ended. and every landlord in the city was like, your rent's going back up. Yeah. City's like,

hey, get this fucking outdoor shit out of here. Yeah. You got to be able to hide it. You can't have it out here all that. And it was just like, this fucking sucks. Like,

so I had some really, really wonderful times in that bar. I made some really great memories. It was the best phase of dating I've ever had in my life. Thanks for the memories. Come to your own, come to your own establishment. It's the coolest thing ever to be like,

want to go to my bar? Yeah, that's kind of nice. It's pretty cool. But yeah, but that's that. But other than that, no, I did not enjoy it. I would never open a business in New York ever again. Yeah. Ever again.

Especially now with Mom Donnie. True. Yeah. Especially with Khan Donnie. You're a big mom, Donnie guy, right? Of course. Yeah, yeah. You know I am.

Yeah, yeah. I fucking love taxes. I trust the government with my mom. money. So I love giving the government money. I think that's a good choice. I think it goes to the right places. Wasn't it wild? Like it like living in Texas the first time I was like when I became a full-time resident and like declared homestead and everything. It was only a few months ago. I was part-time when all of a sudden my business manager was like, oh dude, you don't need to worry about that

what your taxes. I was like, holy shit. All of a sudden I was just like, Oh my God. You saved so much fucking much. That's what I heard. I heard New York's pretty brutal. New York's crazy. Yeah. It's rough.

PA's not bad. Yeah. Yeah. PA's not bad. But, but anyway. That's kind of cool, though. How long did you have it for? It's still there.

I'm just not involved anymore. Do you sell it off or you just? I don't want to get into it. True, true. Yeah, yeah. You got to pay for it. It's like Trump Towers. Yeah.

That's cool. His face on it. Yeah. My face is not on it anymore. Okay. Yeah. I took my, but it's... What about business is booming.

You were like a scarecrow. That's fucking mug up there. It was scaring everyone away. I got, Jesus Christ, that's the guy making the sandwiches? I'm not eating that. There's a Tunisian family. Look at that scumbag up there. The, uh, I, uh, I, um, what's it called?

It's still called Joey roses. Checking the time, and we'd born you? No, I just was making sure I wasn't late. That's all. I get paranoid. Um, the, uh, I, um, stop. What? Let me be.

True. Let's talk tax regulations. No, no. No, good call. I didn't bring it up. He didn't. No, good call. Now, um, wait, what did you just ask me?

Oh, my face, hideous face. They should be like an animatronic Chuckie cheese thing of you in there. They're still there. I was involved for. Dude. Fuck you. You know, you've always been an asshole to me.

I'm always so good to you. And you're such a piece of shit to me. I was involved for four years. That was my favorite. That was like our best conversation. You're like, dude, you're cock sucker to me all the time.

How come you don't do that to soda? Yeah. How come you don't do that to Matt or soda ever? I'm like, because Matt and soda aren't dickheads to me. No. It's very, It's very obvious.

You said it better than that. You said it better than that. I want you to get full credit for this because it was such a, it was such a drop the mic. Go, why don't you do that to them? And he goes, because they don't say the worst things imaginable to me.

All the time. And I go, all right. Yeah. That's the, the best part of DeRosa is you're going to fight. Yeah. And then the next day you're getting a call.

Dude, I'm just like, can we stop with this? like every time we hang out, it's just like, Joe, you said I was a fucking piece of shit, like horrible person. Be fair, though. You do push the buttons first a little more than I do.

You have to come on. You got to admit that much. We've had this conversation. You know you like. We can keep track of it. You know you like to. I literally will walk into a green room and you'll go, well, well, well, okay.

It's fucking piece of shit. There's one. One nothing. Let's go. You walk up to me. I walked out here. You called me barbecue. First thing in the morning.

Don't you like seeing me? Fuckin. Big barbecue. Bees and shit. All right. Good morning. Let's start. I was taking a shit and I heard that.

Yeah. Yeah. Of course you do that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't even realize I do it. I see mad. I give him a hug.

What's up, dude? You guys, what's up, man? You know, it's funny. When you hugged mad, I was kind of like, he didn't hug me. And I was, And I didn't even realize I called him.

Now, if Matt walked out of the... If you would have done what Matt did, I would have said something immediately. You know, dude? The dump on arrival The DOA is fucking crazy. I was happy to see you. The dump on arrival, I heard him called. I didn't know you were here. I heard you like,

I was like, Matt's taking a shit. DeRosa was talking about something midway through. I'm like, I'm sorry, I got a shit right now. I'm in conversation. I was like, I got to go. Pardon me. Yeah. Excuse me. I beg you pardon I have to shit that's all right all right you got you got a you got a point i do it too i see you definitely do you love walking up and going you get your big opening line you got a real

bad attitude today you love start with that like i was just going to say hi dude you do have a rotten attitude every time i see you and then it's so that's such a funny thing i just drove 13 hours B's are lied to me about the airports. I get, shut the fuck up, Joe. Dude, and then you'll fucking, another one you'll do. You'll text me. There'll be some hang that you weren't there for. Next morning, you'll be like, I know what you did.

You fucking scumbags. Yeah, that's nice. I like to stay home, dude. You guys are out partying. And I go, I'm going to take it easy. I know what you're up to. Wait, there was another one you do. I was just trying to remember it.

Fuck. The bad attitude is a big one. Bad attitude is so good. Well, well, well is nice. When someone comes in. Well, well, well. It is. It's, look,

playing offense is the defense. True. Because you know it's coming. It's true. I know. Oh, that's what it was. I remember now. I remember now.

I know when you think, I know when you think that you were fucking with me too much. and it's very nice but you will do a thing now when we're drinking if you think you're fucking to be too much

for no reason you'll come up behind me and you'll grab my shoulder and you'll be like you're good man dude I love you like he thinks he's he thinks he's fucking

too much yeah you get so upset I get upset sometimes what you you're so upset you know how this is how I describe you I've described you

a lot like this to all of our friends. It's not a bad thing. It's it's actually a compliment. Yeah, I'm sure. No, no, no. I've described this to you this way to all your friends behind your back. It's a good thing. No, no, no. It's, I swear to God, it's, it's, it's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's your prowess of your insight into another person. I always say you're like, like, like, if you read the Justice League comic books, Batman, he has a way to take down every Justice League member in case they ever go awol.

So he's got a kryptonite bullet because he's like in case Superman ever goes crazy. Like that we have to kill him. Right. And I'm like that's Shane. Shane is Batman. He knows exactly what everybody's kryptonite bullet is. And he knows exactly how to fire it at you and get you the most mad you could possibly get.

I honestly mean that as a compliment. It's a skill that Patrice had it too. Patrice could just look at you and be like, yeah, you fucking and say the thing that you left the house thinking, about like god damn it yeah yeah so deep insecurity it's you go he's gonna notice what i thought about when i walked out so i got a fucking nail him dude so i i do tend to get a little little a little more uh yeah you're right i get i get it's okay yeah maybe i'll maybe i'll stop messing

with you never you'd stop never you try last year on this very pod or this very day we did we had a We tried to call the truth. Yeah, and then I walked into the green room and you're like, hey, look who's here, you fucking tub of shit. No, no, no, okay. That night you started it and then you kept going, you kept going, all right, that's it.

I won't do it anymore. I was like, come on, dude. Stop. I'd make bottom, I'd make bottom, I'd go, oh, truth, truth, truth, truth. We can't, we can't, we promise. Yeah, six beers later. We're like, fuck you, dude.

Just goes to shit. Immediately just went to shit. I do like the PA and O.L. There's a big PAA. There's personal attacks and then there's over the lines. There's over the lines. Oh, oh. So you PA, it's like you PA'd me. I'm going to P.A. Okay. But that's an O.L., dude.

I don't think any of us have a lot of OLs. Everyone has an O.L. What's, what's? No, I'm saying like, I haven't witnessed a lot of OLs take place. Yeah, we usually don't take it that far. No, no. The, uh, I'm trying to think of somebody who, who, who, who, does. Tommy's kind of a habitual O-L. Stepper. Spit on Nate.

Oh, yeah. That's O-L. He did slap me in the face in Mitz and he'll slap you in the face kind of as hard as he can. Yeah. Yeah. And I go and you were like, you were like, Tommy, what are you doing? And you say, what, what, what? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He stares at you. Yeah, that's great. You just did it perfect. And I go, I go, look, it's no big deal, dude. It's no big deal. We're drunk. I don't care.

I go, do me a favor. Don't wake up tomorrow, worried about this, and call me and be like, dude, I'm so sorry. I'm embarrassed. He goes, I'm not fucking going to because I'm not sorry. I was like, well, don't do that either. That's psychotic. Yeah. But he just was so just like, I don't, like, and then he did call me.

Like, sorry with that. But yeah, he'll slap you in the fucking. He'll give me a nice slap. He's a big slap guy. It's wild. it is he's a big slap man after a while

you'll see him slap someone you're like dude is it like a Robert De Niro kind of affectionate it is but he takes it too far yeah

and sometimes he's a little too drunk yeah will really slap you true he yeah fucking we we were I was in New York the night

fucking Gomez I'm sitting backstage at Kill Tony I didn't know who it was Lewis Gomez comes up behind me he puts me in a starts by like hugging me around the neck

and I'm like, I don't know who this is, slides into a triangle chokehold and starts doing it so strong where I go, bro, bro, stop, and that fucking hurts. And he goes literally like, you are such a pussy. You tap. What kind of pussy says stop?

I go, I didn't even know who the fuck it was, dude. Are you a psycho? You're defending this? That is psychotic. And then he opened with it on stage. and it bombed. Yeah. He went out and he's like,

DeRosa, because I was on panel. He goes, Doris is such a pussy. I put him a child with trouble. He didn't even, he doesn't fucking tap. He goes, stop. And the people are like, uh-huh. Yeah. At the garden.

Yeah. And then he had a great set. But that first line, they were just like, yes. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, I do that move. Police kill people with and he was all pissed off about it.

That's an OL, right? As an OL. Well. Yeah, a bit of a note. No. It means it depends how hard he strangled you. An anonymous triangle joke from behind. It borders P.A. Oh, well.

It's right there. It's sitting on the line. Now, defending it immediately and calling you a pussy, that's an O-L. Yeah, yeah. Strangling someone and then calling them a pussy. Oh, well. Fuck off, man. She just gave one of the bodyguards like a thousand bucks

and they'd like destroy this guy. Destroying it. I would love to go get a couple of those rogan those rogan troops those guys would get you. Some of a Finsky. Just fucking do me a favor. Handle that.

Handle that. Fuck, dude. Yeah, but yeah. Anyway. Oh, the slap thing. It's like Shane said, like it's, he's not doing it to be like, fuck you.

He's doing it to be funny. But it's like, Tommy also gets, like, he'll hug you and it hurts. Yeah. And he's kissing your face. The kissing is outrageous. Yeah, and you're like, Tom, this hurts. Please stop.

Kissing is absolutely the most outrageous fucking thing. I've seen it. And his beard will be wet from drinking. Oh, you like, dude, get the fuck. He's like, what, I love you. God forbid somebody loves you. Fucking piece of shit, fucking asshole. His beard like digs into your face, too.

you're like, ow. Wide-eyed. Just fucking. Fucking wide-eyed. You wouldn't have a drink? I've been drinking on a fucking day. All right, man. We had a nice time cooking at the beach.

Me and him sat there for like two and a half hours cooking. It was so, so nice. Yeah, the meals were great. He can fucking cook, man. Yeah, he's like, it's unbelievable. He's amazing. He made like a steakhouse, like a real steakhouse dinner. Yeah.

It's, he just said, there whole time flipping everything i'm gonna go check the stakes back and forth i'm like dude how the fuck are you doing this dude we then he's fucking resentfully serves after he makes a nice meal he's like hey you fucking piece of shit no as soon as god somebody's got to feed these fucking children no one of here can make a fucking meal to save their life you're like as soon as o'connor came in and oh that was that oh that was crazy connor goes what's that mushroom was otcara was trying to be nice and cheery but he was so drunk that when he saw it he goes what's that mushroom risotto and Tommy goes, yeah.

I was so happy. I was walking to the bathroom. I heard it. I leaned back in. I was like, say thank you, Chris. Oh, it was so nice.

Did the second. Matt, that was my finest. I was trying to be nice. I can tell. Is that mushroom risotto? Chris, say thank you. Don't just fucking complain that there's mushrooms.

I'm not complaining there's mushrooms. Sorry. A fucking piece of shit. Second night we were there. It's me, Shane and Tommy. we're on the beach. Tommy's like, I'm going to cook a steak dinner.

I'm going to make a Greek salad. It was amazing. We're down at the beach. We get pretty bombed up at the beach. Me, Tommy, go back. Shane's still sitting down there. I go take a nap. Actually, no, I left first, and I just went up and took a nap.

I wake up from my nap. I'm like, fuck, man, I was out for like two hours. Jesus. I go downstairs. Does I hear noise? Tommy's alone in the kitchen. He's got a Greek salad. out in front of me, dude.

He's like, where the fuck were you? I go, I was upstairs, sleep, and he goes, I'm in the fucking weeds. I'm working my fucking ass off down here. He was yelling at me like it was a, like, a real restaurant kitchen. I was like, I never said I would help you with any of this

fucking weird meal you wanted to cook. The Greek salad was incredible. It was amazing. It was the best Greek salad. I don't even like tomatoes like that. I was like, these are delicious. It was amazing. He was so on edge, man. Oh, so funny. Guys, I love you. I got a roll. Joe, congratulations.

Yeah, please. Thanks. I never promised you a Rose Garden on Netflix now. Please go watch it. And my new podcast, Vaugh and horrendous on my YouTube at Joe DeRosa. You're in Tires. Tires Season 3. Yeah, it comes out Thursday.

Comes out Thursday. Awesome. And live dates, Joe DeRosa.com. Guys, thank you, man. This is fucking awesome. Of course, man. I love you. This was a special one.

Thanks, man. Wait. Fuck off. Dick hit. Oh, fuck. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it.