Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 633 - Submerged in Silence
Episode Date: August 26, 2026Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH Tires Season 3 Now!! Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live... @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want @ https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello. Just Fambly for you this week. Your 2 daddiez in Big Kahuna HQ lol. Aquatic themes persist throughout the cast. Xtra pipin' hot. Business as usual. Please enjoy. God Bless. Use code DRENCHED at https://BlueChew.com to get 10% OFF + Free Overnight Shipping on your first order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Wow, Wow, Wes.
You know what it sucks?
I think I got my hair cut in this shirt.
It's itchy.
Took it off, and now I've got a fucking hairs all over me.
They got the new.
So if I'm a little grumpy during this podcast, you'll know why.
That would fucking bug me.
Dumbass.
I call it Phil with a nice dumbass.
Call him with a dumbass.
Yeah, it was great.
Call him, you're your dad with a dumbass.
He didn't know.
No, he didn't know I was home.
And I heard him call my mom a dumbass.
I've talked to you about it.
She was like, you take out the trash.
She's like, I'm doing it now, you dumbass.
I go, Jesus Christ, Phil.
He started laugh.
It's how you talk to her.
And you struck back with the dumbass?
You dumbass?
That's so funny.
Talking to your wife like that.
Doing it right.
What do you think I'm doing?
Dumbass.
Jesus Christ,
although.
Yeah,
me had taken the trash out
and someone be like,
did you do it?
Bro.
fucking doing it right now.
I literally have the bag of my hand.
It's like having an extra voice in your head that you're like,
I don't need extra narration.
Yeah,
it's already,
things are pretty bleak inside of my head.
already. I don't need one more person.
Be like, did you do anything today?
What'd you do?
I was just thinking that.
What'd you fucking do? Also, you know when you have a GPS on?
You know how annoying the voices already?
Then you put another voice on it. You're like, no, I get this other voice to fuck out.
We don't need another voice.
I will say people that use GPS audio in the car, that's a big pep peeve of mine.
It's crazy. I always turn it off.
You have to turn it off.
You have to.
When it cuts off the tunes with some directions.
Nothing.
there's especially when you're blasting tunes on the highway and it's like coming up in five foot
you're like all right yeah i'd rather also just miss an exit if that's the case i'll miss the exit
and i'll make up time and blast tunes remember how excited how dumb our culture is that we were all
very excited about uh snoop dog voiced the garmin no i didn't change the voices of like GPS and people
like check this shit i dude that shit traps my ass is a big thing for us snoop dog incorporated and
again i had no no shade to the man snoop dog incorporated
to kind of chaps my ass.
He's just, he's like every fucking time I turn around.
I'll be like five below and it's like a Snoop Dog bobblehead.
I'm like, dude, I'm not fucking Snoop dog.
Yeah, he's all right.
Again, I'm obviously hating here.
But it's like, he has like a massive, he's like he has a hand in everything.
Yeah.
He's got Paul and everything.
Wow, wow, wow.
You be a, yeah.
I got humiliated.
I got humiliated.
I got the egg away, Carol.
Dude, I can't start listening that song.
So I got humiliated at the pool.
early in the morning.
This was like a couple weeks ago.
It was actually, it was really funny.
I was swimming.
It was like,
it was like six o'clock in the morning.
Water dog.
I am a bit of a water dog.
It's crazy.
Dude,
I was so excited because one of my friends
is going to come swim with me.
And now,
now that I'm good at swimming,
I'm so excited to show people how fast I can swim.
How often,
how long do you swim?
For like 40 minutes.
Okay.
That's not.
I was like,
if you're retreating from your family to the pool,
it's so fucking sick to be like getting yelled out.
I'm like,
I have to do this.
I have to swim.
Swim.
I'm swimming.
It's quiet down here.
It's quiet in the pool.
Dude, it's so quiet.
Underwater is like, I've said it before.
I love chilling underwater.
Dude, it's probably so loud all the time of your house.
It's so loud, dude.
I just came from just absolute.
To the depths and go,
dude,
I just came from like insanity.
It was just trying to get much.
How much did you want to get in the pool while you were there?
Every day.
It's all I want to get in the pool every day and just go,
as soon as I jump in and go underwater and I start just working on my perfect freestyle
stroke,
fucking rocking.
Perfect stroke.
Dude,
so it's six,
six o'clock
at the morning.
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm here a little early.
I was like,
I'll be here in a minute.
My goggles are like
super scratched up and shitty
so I can't see anything.
So I come up,
I heard that gate clank
and I'm like,
nice.
So I just like come up.
I come out of a lap,
pop out of the water.
I'm like,
what up, bro?
It's super early the morning.
Just somebody else.
Just an Asian lady.
And it's so early.
It's almost like,
I mean,
it's not almost,
it's offensive.
It seems as if I'm popped out of the water, like pre-dawn to just riz up this lady with these silver reflective goggles.
I thought you were a crock.
She might have had flashbacks.
Dude.
And I like, I didn't hear any response.
I'm like, weird.
And I pop them up.
And I'm like, oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
I was like, my friend's coming here in a second.
You're like, yeah, my bad.
Dude, he no shows me.
So now I swim next to her for an hour.
Now I look like a fucking psycho and a liar.
And I had to just, like, stay the whole time,
just like, wait until she got out of the pool.
And then I was like, I'm out of here.
I kept, like, looking at the gate.
And I was like, fuck.
It was suckers.
She got out when you wanted to get out.
You can't get out.
Yeah.
You can get out simultaneously.
No.
I mean, I just, I use, I also, I race the old Asian ladies every time.
I just try to clock their pace.
And I'm like, all right, I got to.
Yeah.
I got to stay up.
You're beating them.
I tried to, yeah.
Dude, some of them are machines, dude.
Some of them, you can tell.
They got, like, trained by the government or something.
dude
there's no way
a seven year old lady
should be
whooping my ass like that
she got selected
she got selected
I've been playing a hell let loose
so I got
I got Asians on the brain
do you really
yeah
go home GI
who you
so what do you
I don't know
I like I mean
I'm enVA a lot
myself
really yeah
I like to get in there
the AK 47
say that
Gai go home
because G.I
is the GI
your government
does not love you
GI
your government
has abandoned you
GI. Who gave them the AK-40? Is that the Russians
gave it to him? Yeah. Russian and China.
Yeah, they've been boys. They've been bricked up
for a minute. Yeah. They've been bricked.
They're so gay.
They're so gay. Calling their currency.
Calling their currency,
bricked is crazy.
Bricked currency.
It's kind of nice.
Yeah, no, you're saying it's pretty nice.
Well, right now, we're in a weird part, or we're in a weird
position now. We're like, we're kind of
working, I think, hand in hand with China a little bit,
because they need that Urmoo's oil.
Yeah.
They need that stuff.
And we don't.
So I think they're actually trying to be like, come on, dude, let's squash this big beef.
We're in the middle of a beef right now.
You think it's four d?
Huh?
You think Trump's four did.
I don't know.
I think he's saying, dude, this is all going to plan.
China's got to listen to us now.
They kind of do.
Maybe.
Unless they get bricked up enough.
I run into some Trump bros that believe that.
Really?
Like full on, yeah.
Well, that's that.
I just read the news about the sanctions.
So I was kind of like, you know, we'll see what's up.
but apparently, oh, he's checking his fucking chicken.
He's definitely just realized he's burning his chicken.
The chicken's been cooking on a grill.
There's no way he should be running.
That chicken just clocked like 19 minutes at 450 degrees.
That chicken's, that chicken's break up right now.
There's probably a shadow on the...
He was like a mother hen.
He was like a mother hen running to his flock.
The mayor's meal prepping right now.
He is.
Gardini walked in on a roommate spat.
Goddini walked in and I was like,
this isn't mine.
this isn't like who the fucks is this
whole fucking fridge is filled with like
Japanese condiments
yeah man
it's all he buys
you're opening your fridge is like
gee I go home yeah I literally I open it
I go oh yes
GI will never eat this
I'm GI he's NBA
oh gee I go
Death to the Steel Dragon
you got to scream
Steel Dragon when you shoot down the
really helicopter's yeah
fuck that's awesome
I'm more of a mortar man though
yeah I love firing a
mortar.
I, dude, that is something about that whole trajectory.
And so it's very enjoyable.
And then you just hear a little, makes a little noise if you hit somebody.
Yes.
This is hell let loose Vietnam.
Yeah.
Brada.
That's got to be crazy.
That was kind of, that was a big mortar off.
Wasn't it back then?
Yeah, it was a lot of mortars.
You just chill.
I was reading that one book and they said it would just like, you would sit on a base
and you'd be getting blasted with mortars.
You'd be like, all right, let's go find these guys.
And you'd walk around the woods, maybe see a guy.
Yeah.
Shoot them, farmer.
He'd like, dang it.
Dang, it was a farmer.
Dang, that was a farmer.
But at night, he was maybe firing that mortar.
Exactly.
During the day, I go, no, I'm just a farmer, G.
I go home.
I'm just a farmer.
I'm not taking any chances.
My buddy just got blown up.
Yeah.
Well, then it turned in.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Weren't the last couple years, like brutal urban warfare?
Yeah, there was a lot of that.
Close quarters.
Yeah.
Cagon, they got a little active.
Dude, that shit, Vietnam War.
It's no joke.
Vietnam was taught.
Vietnamese man just burned himself this week.
What?
My Twitter, I got on
Twitter again and it's it's terrible
sex acts and death.
Oh no. So I saw a Vietnamese guy
burn himself on a bench. That was terrible.
Isn't, but don't you get like, that's kind of
like bossed up. If you burn yourself. That's why I was bringing up from
Vietnam because the monks used to hit that. Yeah. They built a temple where you
burned yourself. How'd that, uh, chicken go?
It's burnt. You burnt the chicken. It's not burnt.
You worked up a hell of a sweat.
10 foot jog. It's hot, dude. It's in the grill.
The chicken's always. It's coming.
out smokies, I think, yeah, it's almost done.
It's looking good.
It's looking good.
You just missed the, you miss the alarm.
Yeah.
What time are you cooking that at?
It's about 425.
Yep.
Allegedly, dude, there's no way you got that temperature right on that grill.
Dude, I got it up, 425.
You think it was a thousand degrees the way you're sweating, man.
It's high.
You look like you're coming from hell at least.
You look like you just came from the shit, dude.
I get it, man.
I've been in the shit all week.
week. Yeah. So how is the new Vietnam hell at loose?
Pretty sick. Is it rocking? If you're playing with buddies, it's very fun. Yeah, yeah.
I try to go solo. I play five minutes. Somebody shoots me in the head. I go, fuck this.
So what's the gameplay like from the perspective of the Viet Cong? The cool thing is the Viet Cong, you get, you can do tunnels. You can kind of pop up anywhere on the map, whereas if you're playing as the U.S., you get helicopters, which are also pretty cool.
Yeah.
Somebody's good at helicopters.
Like, I just played a game before you got here.
Somebody was killing us with the helicopters.
Ah.
Yeah.
And as a mortar man, that's not good.
You don't want them getting behind our line.
They kept getting behind our line and killing us.
You don't want that at all?
Yeah.
Coming up through a tunnel.
Well, I was in the NBA mortar man.
What?
And I was saying,
yeah.
You can go home.
This is not your fight, GI.
Did they really say that in the game?
No, it's just everybody.
Every single person screams it.
the whole time.
Yeah, that's so fun.
The other one that was good was to hold fast.
If you plays the French, everyone just screams,
Vive la France.
Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Everyone just screaming, Vive la France.
I actually remember that.
You guys were playing,
Capture the Flags or something.
Vive la France.
Vive la France.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Hell what lose Vita.
Although, is it too soon?
Like, what do you think the moratorium is on?
On Vigas for a war?
No, you can do it.
I mean,
yeah.
All dude who's doing future war.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
We're doing Taiwan, China.
But you haven't seen the Middle East War yet
In what?
Yeah, you have
What are you insane?
What are you stupid?
Cold duty, as I said that
I'm like, oh yeah, call a dude is already doing it.
I'm a fucking person.
But aren't they always kind of vague though?
Oh, they're always like vague about who the countries are.
Yeah, they literally are like,
he's the head of Durka Durkistan.
Dirkat Dirkathehrushat.
Muhammad Jihad, Dirka Dirkistan.
Which is kind of a little more disrespectful.
Dirkidurka Dirkistan's crazy.
Well, yeah.
But it's always something.
Yeah, they're like, what would an Arabic country be called?
Yeah.
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What's he doing back there? He's lurking gator.
The spider's preparing. It's good. The spider's just cooking.
I know. Never cooks. He decided during the podcast today, I'll cook.
Jesus Christ.
Especially, I want to know if you're meal prepping for one or two.
He's in the jog again. He's running again.
I've been. I need a full.
photo reveal this chicken. I do not believe
that this is not completely... He's actually... It's a lot.
I don't want to compliment him to his face,
but he's a pretty good cook. I already's a good cook.
He's a pretty good cook. I think anything
to re-learns, he like osmosis.
He likes to win for the genetic field.
He's been leaving his door open while he's gaming.
I haven't been home as much as... So now I'm home, I'm picking
up on his tent. He's been used to
cat being away. Yeah.
And also's been playing. So I like to go back then and slam the
door as hard as I can.
While he's talking to people, I can hear him talking to people.
I'm like, don't you to close the door!
You should also, you should maintain open door policy.
No, he should be no closing.
He blast shit.
You remember when Cody Rhodes went in his room.
It's so loud.
True.
And he screams about Street Fighter for hours.
Struggling with the door, he's in.
I got to see this chicken.
Lamerica.
Present the chicken to the cam.
Let's see what we're working with here.
Damn, that thing.
You can smell the burnt.
that's gonna burn your fucking
that's gonna burn your little beak dude
well maybe for lunch you know
that's a great cross char
although you might have selected your most healthy piece
let me see it let me present that to the cam
why are you dripping it into the cup
because it's it's dripping that's actually really consider it
because you see that at the camp
at lamare that's actually good fucking chicken man
looks a little raw tbh
I'd like to see the inside
I like the way you put the pepper on it lamare
yeah a lot of people are scared to put a little pepper on there
when are you gonna make chicken Alfredo again
A little less pepper on the Alfredo.
You get a little wacky with that.
But I like what you.
Oh, I need it, LeMay.
This redeems everything.
If you do that, we can have an open-door video game tonight.
You can have Street Fighter as loud as you want if you make chicken Alfredo.
And you can play as girl characters again.
I won't make fun of you.
I mean, Alfredo is what a peacemaker.
It's nice.
Chicken Alfredo is crazy.
It honestly, arguably could be the best food.
Then I'll come home after a few drinks.
It'll be in the fridge.
I'll go,
I can take a bite.
He'll never notice.
And then drunk and I'm thinking,
fuck that.
He lives here.
I'll fucking eat the whole fucking thing.
And then I eat a little bit of it.
I go, why would I be a dick?
Dude, he made this.
And then I stop.
This is a tradition.
I know.
It's a tradition unlike any other.
He's lured and over a big thing of Alfredo.
Why shouldn't I?
I deserve
Why shouldn't I?
Are you going to play
Hell of Lose with me today?
All right.
That's exciting.
Fuck.
What time's your show?
Eight, seven, eight.
That gives us several hours.
Yeah, I'll play Hello Loose.
Yeah.
Time you gooming right after this.
We're probably goom as hard as we can after this.
Yeah, it's definitely goome after this.
I'm in no particular rush.
Hell yeah.
Nate got new basketballs.
Nate did get new basketballs.
Oh.
Bro.
Could be, could be time for the rematch.
They're not ready, dude.
One week prep.
One week prep.
Come back with the shorts.
My water shoes.
All right.
True.
Damn.
Aquas socks.
That's crazy.
Dude, you have a boner.
You have a fucking boner, bro.
You thought about pool basketball,
jumping on the guy.
You're confirming Lamar's heart.
Honker theory.
Well, he does have a honk.
Those two have honkers.
I know, dude.
Measy got blessed with the Alfredo.
He's got the creamy Alfredo.
Got the creamy Alfredo.
We need to go back to that.
Just fucking smaller the penis.
It's like, everyone's like, that's the ideal.
Obviously.
Ancient Greece.
Ever gives ancient Greek so much shit.
They had the idea.
They're like, if you're rocking a penis,
we're going to immortalize you and marbles.
You're the man.
You're the man.
You got so much energy.
I just got another girl 9-11 text.
Today's girl 9-11.
Oh, yeah, Dolly Parton.
R-I-P Dolly.
They're all getting the news at different times
and everyone's getting texts from girls.
Yeah.
It's going, oh, my God, Dolly Parton died.
I'm so sad.
I didn't even know until you told me.
I'm excited to break the news.
Why?
I'm excited.
Bring down the thunder.
Your girl's going to be like James Cameron
getting out of the sub.
You're going to go, James, you're going to want to sit down.
9-11 happened when you were underwater.
He was underwater for...
I think he was underwater.
Huge fan of underwater, by the way.
That guy might be the biggest fan of underwater.
He must have a crazy family.
He's in an abyss every day.
The pressure could kill you.
He's like, I'm totally fine.
Must have the loudest house.
He's like, I got to go to the bottom of the ocean.
He was underwater during 9-11.
He was underwater door 9-11.
There's some classic 9-11s.
There was the other one is, what's his name,
was dressed up like the turtle.
Master of disguise.
Why am I forget?
Dana Carvey was a turtle, turtle.
He's in a turtle costume watching 9-11.
What?
Why was he dressed as a turtle?
He was filming a movie.
There was some Sesame Street characters on
good morning America, Elmo had to fucking go, oh. Oh, God. Yeah. Not all Muslims are bad.
Let's not forget everybody. No, on 9-11 Elmo, it was like, get them. Turn it to glass.
Where are the guys in the top floor go? It is the, you know, as silly as America is, we're
probably the most silly country. Yeah. There's every other, those, the serious countries, the war countries are
always pretty serious.
Yeah.
It's kind of like if a tragedy happens to us, somebody's goofing off when it happens.
That's true.
Like Pearl Harbor, there's a bunch of people wearing fucking grass skirts, fucking coconut
braw is hammered.
True.
You go, oh, shit.
We never thought it could happen to us.
Yeah, I always forget about Pearl Harbor.
I don't know why I think it's like, I mean, it was definitely kind of nothing compared
to 9-11.
Is that fair to say?
It was a military base, right?
Yeah.
Which not good at all.
No, it was definitely
Death toll, death toll was.
Was it really?
Comparable, I think almost
Probably, for some reason
I'm thinking like 3,000 each.
Dang.
Like similar.
Yeah, and yeah,
very similar actually.
That's terrible.
I don't know why I thought Pearl Harbor
was like kind of light duty.
Obviously not great.
That was fucking nasty.
It was mean as hell.
It was mean.
It was horrible what they did.
Yeah.
That was a big time punk move.
Then we said, GI, come over here.
Yeah.
G.I. is coming over there. You should have done that.
Now we're best friends. Now we're buddies.
It's every time. Everyone's, it's a classic story of two dudes having to fucking square up and wrestle.
I agree. Being like, all right, dude, you're actually kind of sick. Yeah.
That's what we did. That's what I was saying. Yeah, we did that to the South. Yeah. In the Civil War, we beat the fuck out of them so bad. They love America more than anyone.
That's, yeah. All day, they wave American flags.
were like, dude, it's kind of a pussy of you.
Why are you, I fucking kind of hate America?
You guys got rocks, dude.
North Korea kind of wants to tussle a little bit.
I heard they've been blasting their Acme rockets into the ocean.
They have.
They've been showing out again.
And Trump dogs, Trump, I'd look, a lot of people
criticize Trump for that. I like the way he handles them.
What does he do?
He's just like, dude, we're boys. This is crazy.
Why are you acting up?
Dude, you know me and Kim Jong are boys.
Yeah, true.
And everyone's like, I can't believe he's being his friend.
No, you're fucking retard with the rocket.
Well, I guess they both.
but it trumps work here's a thing it's like you can say there's nine nine hundred
ninety bad things you make his personality this and that the fact that he kind of jails with
kim jong un is like let him have one redeeming yeah i think that's not that no one else can
fucking chill with that guy besides dennis rodman he does love like 80s 90s bad boys he's probably
that's why he loves 30s he loves 80s 90s bad boys he does love 80s and 90s bad boys it's probably
because that's all he got was like 80s 90s movies
movies, bad boys in 80s, 90s movies.
Now I guess to hang out with bad boys from 80s 90s.
I mean, dude, it's funny because South Korea is like rocking the film industry right now.
They're killing it.
Dude, NBA young boy lives there, South Korea.
It's big.
It's huge.
NBA young boy lives in South Korea now.
Do you think anyone's saying, NBA young boy, go home?
NBA young boy, I think they're saying, go home.
NBA young boy, I think it's a problem.
He's so respectful.
Is he?
He talks like Michael Jackson.
Oh, I didn't know that.
You ever see an interview with him?
He's pretty wild, but his interviews, he's like, yeah, I don't know.
It's the scariest fellas.
I know.
Tyson, MJ, NBA young boy, the scariest fellas.
No, apparently people I think are, I don't know.
It's, that's, like, the vamp, like, opiate black guy is huge internationally.
Playboy Cardi just stands at a stage in France and just, like, dips out and the French go crazy.
It's like the coolest shit.
It's for real the coolest shit.
It's like the pinnacle of, like, high fashion cool.
It's to be like a black guy.
Gotth, cool black guy.
Just whacked out on like methadone, standing on a stage, smoking a cigarette.
Everyone's like, this is the peak of culture right now.
It's like the coolest shit ever.
It's interesting.
Yeah, it's all about Rick Owens, dude.
We have to get Rick Owensed out.
Just like leather domination straps.
You got to express your rage through your wardrobe.
That's what me and Rick do.
Expressing your rage through your clothes is so fucking rage.
I don't even have any fucking rage.
I know.
I mean, you can just hop on the bandwagon.
I think a lot of those guys don't have any rage.
You don't think they're Dark Souls?
Nah.
I don't have enough rage.
Wait till college football season.
True.
If Notre Dame drops another one in Illinois, I'm vamped up.
I'll go vamp, dude.
Notre Dame drops one to rice, you'll see.
I'm shaving my head and my eyebrows.
I want to shave my head of my eyebrows
and just keep a Hitler stash.
then dress like a vamp, dude.
We lost to rice.
Dude, if you had,
that'd be too funny.
It would be, yeah.
I told you, I was reading that book about,
I'd be too cool.
I'd be expelled from Hollywood.
If you went, Rick, if you went,
if I shaved my eyebrows and head
and kept the Hitler stash and dressed like a vampire,
I'd be expelled.
There'd be no questions.
It'd just be a photo of me.
Here, he's out.
Hold on, though.
If you were to dress in Rick Owens and go Hitler stash,
they might take you to another level.
And I'm like, holy fuck, we didn't know this guy had it in him.
He's the coolest guy who's ever lived.
You have to go to France and just stand there with a cigarette in his work.
And they're like, this guy's the best artist that's ever lived.
This guy, he's completely brought himself into fruition.
That's true.
Dude, Hitler's, Hitler's gambit.
I was like, I was thinking about the Soviets because, you know, the classic question of like,
why is it still allowable to wear the hammer and sickle?
Of course.
It's like, you know, I was thinking about it.
So I was like, trying to.
to really distinguish it between kind of like
Hitler's gambit and dude
apparently Hitler because the communists
were like no it's gambit just like
the bet he threw down was like Germans
are the best therefore we will
win and once we can do a horrible
thing but then we'll just be the victors so no one's
can judge us but he was on some only God can judge me shit
yeah so he was like his plan was like
Germans are superior we'll just
we're going to destroy the Jews as that was a big plan
and then they're like we'll go through and enslave
and defeat every other civilization
everyone will be our slaves and Germans will just rock.
But the communist thing was like,
it was different.
Hitler was, it was bad.
He had a bad evil plan,
but he goes,
who can judge me?
Where are you going with this?
What I'm saying is he had a bad evil plan.
Of course.
Communists were like,
no,
we're actually doing a nice thing,
but it was actually evil as well.
It wasn't as,
you know,
wasn't as evil.
It was bad.
It was extremely evil.
It was very evil.
Yeah.
But at least it sounds when you're like,
well,
how does this work?
You're like,
well, everyone's going to share.
That sounds nice.
Yeah.
When you lead Hitler,
was leading with like nasty stuff.
Yeah.
People go, that's obviously fucking horrible.
So that's where I was going.
I was just like, I was kind of like, what is the real, what's like the real distinguisher?
And it was like, Hitler was pure bad boy.
And one of them won.
Yeah.
Winners right history, bro.
Exactly.
Although Japan, Japan did the right thing.
What they do?
They went.
Tea.
Just get it to us?
No.
We would never do that.
Yeah, true.
Were they trying to like, extirp-
they weren't trying to exterminate.
Every other Asian, yeah.
Yeah.
But they were also hiding it under, like, we're getting rid of colonial.
Now, we're all boys.
Mm-hmm.
They immediately did the worst things to every single country.
Did they really?
Yes.
I knew they were nasty.
They were fucking horrible.
God damn.
Yeah.
That's, yeah.
That's why Philippines still fucks with us.
And South Korea fucks with it.
They're all.
Like, thank you for that.
That was.
Now, they're starting to turn on us a little bit.
I mean, that's tough, dude.
You got like 100,000 Nerudos on you.
your ass. That's fucking
tough, dude. That's a tough shit.
But yeah, so
they were that nasty and bad.
Yeah.
It's so, well,
the funny thing is, I mean, it's not that funny,
but back then it was
almost like, it was kind of acceptable
to be like, yo, our people are the best.
We're about to get, we're about to fuck
these dudes up so bad.
Shitty Chinese. We're going to fucking kill
all of them. And everyone's like, yeah, dude,
obviously, we're the fucking best. And you ride that
last crest.
Everyone's like, what a monster.
You're like, I thought this is what we're doing, guys.
Although it was tribal warfare.
What the fuck?
That's, yeah, you're the last, you're the last guy to be like, let me go for it.
Yeah.
No, they went.
Nasty, nasty stuff.
The Japanese certainly went for it.
He did.
Yes.
So they wanted to be king of Asia.
Yeah.
K-W.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I feel like they, I've gotten reports in the Asian world that, like, the Japanese still kind of
hold it down like they're kings of.
Asia.
K-Away.
I think they all do.
Like behind that old little
like T-hee.
No,
dude,
I'm,
I used to work for Korean guys
and they'd be like,
nah,
Japanese dudes.
They would just be like
Japan rules.
They were very honest about it.
And they're like,
Japan's the best.
Japan,
I think Japan's cooler than China.
Yeah, dude,
100%.
Japan's way cool.
I don't get tricked by the LED
buildings.
Dude.
I don't get,
I know Lemaire gets tricked
by the drones and LED buildings.
Lamer is completely China-pilled.
No,
he is.
Japanese filled.
Really?
Yeah.
Big Japan guy.
You're a Japan guy.
Yeah, full Japan.
Yeah.
I don't want this to sound racist, but would it be a Japophile?
It's a Japophile, I believe.
A Japophile?
Well, let's make sure.
If you're a white guy, I think they call you a weeb.
A weeb.
A webe is if you're a white guy who, like, loves.
I think it's a Japan.
You probably be Japophile because that's what they're,
what it always is.
Yeah, it's like Russo Japanese, Russo,
Japanophile?
What was it in the 50s?
You missed an end.
You missed an end.
What was it?
Yeah, you missed it.
No, that's a big end.
That's a typo.
End's always big in these discussions.
God forbid a guy misses.
That's a dang verbal typo.
Oh, I like that.
I like that.
Japanologist is an expert of Japan.
What's somebody who loves black people?
Is there a nice term for that?
It should be.
I do laugh
I don't know much about Japanese history though
I wish I could learn
learn a little bit more about
I wish I cared to bore about other
What's the word?
What is it?
Stuff I should say on the Brock
There's not like an official
Oh wait, there's not a
Wait the America's say it
Oh wait
Yeah we're not at this
Yeah
What are we talking
But there's like
Mirophalia
A what
Migrophilia
That's not bad
That's taste that's tasteful
That's tasteful
I, man, that's tough.
So you can say I'm a bit of a...
That's used in historical and artistic context.
Well, this is art.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's fair.
Is that what O.J. Simpson broke in to get him?
Kidding.
That was memorabilia.
That was memorabilia.
That's memorabilia.
Yeah, that's so funny that some guy,
coined that term. It was like, yep,
jobs done for the day. It's a Frenchman.
Huh? It comes from the French.
Oh. The French.
You have so many cool words.
The French? Yeah. They do.
They fucking do.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
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You know what's nice about that three months?
It's football.
season. Oh my goodness. And what a better way to reward your partner with, you know, hey, I'm going to be
watching TV. I'm going to be watching football day. She or he gets a little grumpy with you.
For sure. And you go, watch this. I'm going to knock that attitude right out of you.
Bro. Blue, chew gold. Ooh. Think about that. The real, hit her with the real deal.
Or him. Hit her with a hammer. Or him. For him. For him. For sure.
Guys, please come watch me to stand up. September 11th. I'll be in Portland, Maine. And
I'll be in Boston, Massachusetts.
Those are looking really good.
Looking for a stinker here.
Guys, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, September 26.
Come on, guys.
Need you out there.
Charlotte.
You guys are looking decent.
Ooh, Jacksonville.
Thank you guys.
Atlanta, Georgia.
Come on, man.
Let's go.
Atlanta, Georgia.
That's October, Fort Lauderdale.
And the big one, too.
Newark, New Jersey.
I don't know what the fuck they were thinking.
That place is massive.
The New Jersey Performing Arts Center.
The place is great.
It's huge.
It's just massive.
Yeah.
It's awesome.
I'm excited, but I'm calling all troops.
I need to fill the dang thing up.
You'll get it.
It looks like the galactic center.
Does it really?
Yeah.
Fuck yeah.
It's going to be awesome.
It's like pods of people in space.
Really?
Yeah.
Out and fucking, that's beautiful.
Yeah, that one's cool.
Guys, there's a bunch of other cities.
Go to Matt McCusker.
com.
Pretty pleased.
I saw Gaffek in there and I was afraid the entire time.
Really?
So steep at the top.
I was, yeah.
I'm not trying to deter.
Yeah.
It's a spooky space arena.
I have no shows.
Oh,
I'll be in Riley and,
and Charleston this weekend.
Please come if you can.
Sean.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you,
thank you,
thank you, Matt.
Enjoy the show.
They really do.
They were the first ones to,
I think,
well,
the British coined boredom,
but France had enueue,
or whatever that shit was called.
Henri.
Honwee.
Bortem,
you know the term boredom
didn't come into the,
uh,
came on to the scene
to like 1850.
It's a relatively new phenomenon.
Think about that.
That's crazy.
Yeah,
it's pretty weird.
What they call it,
four. They didn't have a word for it.
There was N. We, there was like little hints.
Fourth century monks had a thing called
Acidia, which was the midday demon.
Because they woke up at like four in the morning.
So noon was there like...
They got a little sleeping.
It was their 3 p.m. slag.
But it was a demon that would come to you and be like,
you're, this shit sucks.
Everything sucks.
And you wouldn't be able to focus on anything.
You just stare out the window.
Time would pass slowly.
It was called the noon day demon.
I'd like to learn more about this boredom thing
because I can't believe it.
Dude, don't you.
Because there's, there has to be.
The word, the term boredom is for sure.
Yeah, yeah, but they just, what would they say?
But they didn't have, do you have it?
No, I'm not finding what was used before boredom, but yeah, it says Charles Dickens
popularized it in print in like 1829.
Yeah, I believe the etymology means literally to drill into your head to bore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's pretty fucking, but no, it's pretty new because I feel like there was a,
the monks, it was more, it was less of like,
there's nothing to do.
They would be like, I hate that I became a much.
How about gulrums?
Let's see.
Things like that.
And also, also, early on,
it was viewed as a personal failing,
not being shortchanged by your environment.
If you were bored, they'd be like,
fucking piece of shit.
You don't fucking do something,
you piece of shit.
Yeah.
There's some English terms from the 17th and 18th century,
like tedium.
Yeah.
Teatious.
It reversed to exhausting heaviness.
Romans had to talk about boredom.
There's no way this is...
Well, there's an ancient...
I think there's a Greek poem called The Boar,
but it was about a guy who was annoying
who would catch you in the middle of the road
and just brutalize you with conversation.
It's really funny.
That's awesome.
It's like an old poem where this guy was like...
Back then, too, you'd walk for...
You couldn't shake.
If you got a punisher,
if you're on like the fucking Roman road,
just walking, you'd have like a day of walking.
You could pick up a punisher who just crush you.
You got hit him with a rock.
You go, fuck it.
Yeah, it's called the boar.
It's all about a guy just greeting you and just being like one of the popes, like, people would write their own version of it.
And one of like the popes or bishops wrote his own version of the boar.
It was like a cool highfalutin thing you could do.
It's about coming across the worst, dude.
An annoying fucking dickhead.
It's an annoying dickhead.
On the path, dude.
I got to walk 12 miles today.
That idea is thousands of years old, just picking up a punisher.
You'd see him.
You'd see him far.
away.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Oh,
who there.
Fuck.
Oh,
it's a beautiful day.
How fair's thee?
You go, fuck.
Hey, man,
don't really have time.
You walk a little faster.
He speeds up.
You're like,
oh, no.
Well,
I have nowhere particular to go.
What a curse.
Yeah, that's,
that was.
You'd get away with it.
If you hit him with a rock.
Oh, you could,
you could,
pop in the head.
Everyone would look the other way.
it'd just be you and him
I know but I'm saying they'd be like
there's no suspects
yeah no you can get away with anything
you can still I mean the cameras
kind of mess it up but you can kind of still
get away with murder it's it's still like
way easier than people think
although these new cameras man
in a city setting
is this what you're thinking in the depths
are you
underwater
you know
you fucking flock cameras
Yeah, those flocks, I've been seeing people putting stickers on them and breaking them and stuff.
Nice.
Yeah, that's good.
I think we can all agree on that.
Yeah, the flock cameras.
Yeah.
But then they go, well, we find, like, stolen kids.
So, then you go, well, that's what they say.
But that's all released by the flock camera company themselves.
Yeah, I know.
But, like, if you found it.
I mean, they probably do.
If they're scanning license plates, they actually probably do.
They're going to get everybody.
They haven't because, you know, you would if you could.
I'm not sure I understand what you just said.
Like, if you could save lost kids, you would.
I think they're arguing they have.
But where's the proof?
I don't know.
You got to find these lost kids, which, hey.
Well, how, why do you think that wouldn't work?
I mean, the more invasion of privacy there is,
the more you're going to be able to find lost kids.
Yeah, but they're not going to, that's not their purpose.
So they're just saying that so they can make us not.
purpose is to catch you running a red light and tick at you.
Not to find kids.
Yeah.
There's some new stories
saying that the flock cameras help them
find missing kids.
They might.
Like, exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
What's the point?
Is it just to...
It's just total...
Deep tabs?
Yeah, it's just a complete fucking paranoid panopticom, man.
But it doesn't...
I'm not advocating for them, but it's not like...
Dude, if you do, you advocate, people will spend...
I wouldn't.
I don't like them.
But your phone.
I know.
You're literally on camera and traced at all times, too.
That's the funny thing.
Dude, the major cities have had these, like,
like every,
I think like almost every block of Philadelphia's video recorded.
It's been video recorded.
So.
Hey, lowest murders.
It's,
it works.
It gets people.
That's why COVID threw it off because everyone had the fucking masks on.
Yeah.
So, you know,
you kind of,
you could trick the camera systems.
But every,
I know Philly for sure is like completely been cammed up for a long time.
So, but yeah, I don't know.
I, you know, it's, I think it's bad if you watch everybody every second of the day.
For sure.
You know, it is what is.
If they start giving out tickets off cameras, I'm going to rage against the machine.
My uncle, my uncle claims you can just, just let those go.
Because he said that they don't have, PPA gives you,
Philadelphia Parking Authority was doing the light cameras.
And he claims they legally don't have the authority to ticket you for a moving violation.
So he used to just refuse to pay them.
I got to check in to see how that worked out.
But yeah, he was like, you don't got to pay those fucking things.
He would never pay him.
So, dude, I didn't pay the park.
I heard the parking authority like $7,000.
I got a ton of easy passes going.
Oh, they'll get you.
Yeah, they'll get you.
Yeah, they'll get you.
Those new private, yeah, they'll get you.
And those new private, uh, in California has, it's a French company who owns the private highways.
French are all over there.
Bro, they'll fucking, they'll jack you up to like tens of thousands of dollars.
Yeah, they go wild on.
Yeah, they will get you.
No, I've heard of people racking up like five figures and tolls.
I'm like, damn.
Yeah, I'm probably sitting up there.
Texas has been getting me.
Really?
Yeah.
It's been a few years.
I would join.
A few years of PA in Texas of me not paying a single toll.
Really?
You can call and settle though.
Might be in trouble.
You can call and settle those.
I'm going to settle.
Yeah.
Or I might take them to court.
Not bad.
I see you in court.
You should spend fucking for a fortune.
Just tying them up.
I'm going to tie them up.
I'm going to get the best.
Best lawyers.
I'm going to go bankrupt, but...
Take a wing out.
Just have them lay off like 90 people.
Get a tiger shark lawyer.
There are...
If you have enough money, you can't...
You can, like, sue municipalities and fight cities and stuff and win.
I used to work for a guy who destroyed a historic building.
And he goes, my lawyer's a tiger shark.
He'll butt fuck the city.
Nice.
Yeah, dude.
It was pretty funny.
It was pretty tight.
What type of historic building do you store?
To be fair, it was...
bullshit. I was there. I was actually, I helped destroy it, but it was like, it wasn't like,
you know, there's like the Liberty Bell, Ben Franklin's house. This was just an old shitty house
that they had already done a ton of renovations to. And then the historical people came in.
They're like, no, and it was like a modern, it was fucking, it was complete bullshit. Yeah.
And the, the owner was just like, yo, 7 a.m., crumble it. Because they were like tying him up in court.
And he was like, just smash it. I'll figure it out after the fact.
And he just had to smash the building.
And there was all these historical guys like,
you should be ashamed of yourself.
And I was just sitting there with like one of those stops signs.
Like, shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
Should point the stop sign on him.
I should have.
I did hit the one lady.
She goes, that building's history.
I was like, it's certainly history now.
And she went, my dad's like, stop, all right?
Knock it off.
It's certainly history now.
Dude, he was like, stop it.
Don't talk to them.
Don't do that.
Yeah, I'm ashamed to say.
I said, what history?
Tell me.
Yeah, exactly.
What is it?
What is this?
What do you know about this building?
They actually probably would.
Well, actually, it was like, alright.
I don't believe you.
You're boring me.
It's hit.
Now you're boring me.
I'm going to hit you with a rock.
You're annoying.
That was one of the sickest things is watching a guy being like, bro, I'll deal with the city later, knock that shit down.
It was like, goddamn.
I don't know.
You could just fucking have the stick, go to the city and be like, shut up.
If you're, I think that's like billionaire status.
Yeah.
If you're a billionaire, the city complains, you can be like, shut up.
And go, honey, why don't I give you the podros?
I will say, I was negative on Kwanza Jones at first.
I've come around completely.
She's been a ray of sunshine in every clip.
Yeah.
And, yeah.
Dude, it's turning out that the sports leagues are really,
I mean, truly milling Black Lady Magic.
WMBA is fucking running solely on Black Girl Magic right now.
It's just, it's got to be just like fucking really dastardly race baiting clips.
I think Quanza Jones is...
That's genuine black girl magic.
Yeah, that one's good.
That's good.
That's, well, that's, yeah.
That was a nice one.
WMBA is being fueled entirely by hate.
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
They've entered the trans.
Dude, it's now trans.
It's a trans and race fight.
You got the trans battle going.
The trans battle's crazy.
Trans battle's crazy.
The trans battle being like, well, we support them.
And you have to be like, yeah, me too.
All right, jump ball.
Let's go, guys.
Yeah, yeah.
Try to play basketball.
But yeah, that's, yeah, that's a, that's a weird one.
I mean, I want to see them put their money where the mouth is.
You know, it's one thing to say, that's all lip service to me.
It's like, bro, let me see the roster.
Stack it.
Stack it up.
You want to get back?
You want to fucking knock.
What's her name?
It's just the G League all of a sudden.
It's just other NBA guys, guys that couldn't make the NBA.
You know, fuck, we already have that.
That's a good argument for people always like, what do you not like women?
Because you don't watch the WMBA.
It's like, I don't watch the G League.
Yeah.
I just want to watch the NBA.
Yeah.
Why would I...
I'm sure somebody's come to that conclusion.
I don't know about...
I never heard the G-League angle on that.
That turns in a G-League ball.
But then you get to see G-leaguers dunk, like, yam.
Yeah.
I mean, the poster eyes, it's going to be ugly.
If you go nuts-to-face dunk on a lady...
Yeah, we put that white bull in from Philly, put him in the WMBA.
He's jumping over those with them.
Do backflip dunks.
I think everybody...
That's the right mood.
They should only let white G-leaguers into the WMBA.
So we can really...
That's a good...
No, those are good, like...
You want money?
Let's get the racial battle going again.
Yeah.
That is nice.
Every team gets one white guy.
Oh, dude, wait until the movie they're going to make is amazing.
The movie in 20 years.
It's a league of the...
Jack Robinson of the NBA.
Yeah.
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Yeah, I mean, it's like, it's truly shameful what they're doing right now.
It's truly shameful.
genders in sports. I watched our beloved Westchester, Pennsylvania baseball team in the Little
League World Series fall victim to a woman pitcher yesterday. A girl from Alabama was just dominating.
Really? Yeah. She was whipping. She was whipping. She was whipping. Undeniable whipping. And I was just thinking
those poor boys. There's 11 and 12 year old boys getting struck out by a lady on ESPN.
I mean, I used to cry, just getting struck out by... Yeah. No one was even watching when I was
getting struck out by girls.
I can't even know. It's a deep shame.
I don't tell anyone I got struck out by girls.
When did you play with the girls?
Don't worry about it.
There was weird,
girls,
she was nasty.
Really?
She was around 11 or 12 years old.
And she was dealing.
Yeah,
she was dealing.
There was nothing we could do about it.
Fuck.
It was all,
we always had like the man child pictures.
There'd be like the kids.
There's a couple, like,
five,
11, six foot kids already.
They're dealing.
Yeah.
It would be like small little mustache,
armpid hair,
and I'd be sitting there like,
bro,
and I'd just not.
This is crazy.
I have a pinch batter, please.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
I didn't know there was a girl.
What was, what was there,
MPH?
Were she more of a technician?
She's got,
she's got great control,
great command,
great location every time.
But,
I don't know,
they always do the MLB comparison
because the mound's close.
They're like,
there's 91 miles an hour.
He goes,
it's like 60.
Oh,
I see what you're saying.
But the mount's close.
So this is how much time
you have to react,
which is the equivalent of a 93 mile an hour fastball.
God damn.
It was a tough one.
The boys from Westchester were up 5-0.
And they brought in the fucking...
Then they brought in the girl.
Didn't score a run.
Mama-me.
14Ks, dude.
She's crazy.
I mean, that was such a mental game.
If I was a...
I mean, still to this day, I'd be like,
bro, don't strike, get struck out.
14, that's like apocalyptic.
Your boys, you and your boys get fucking humiliated on a national stage.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, that's...
I'd be curious.
I wonder what they're going to do.
I mean...
Do you fear the bow?
She's got a bow and her ponytail.
Do you fear it?
I fear the fucking bow.
Fuck out of that.
I fear the bow, dude.
Like, I was tossing to turn last night.
I can barely sleep.
Although, I mean,
high cheese from the bow last night.
I was chasing.
I was chasing shit in the dirt.
I was, I mean, the bow is humiliating me in my dreams.
Torture.
Also, too, I might be up there all shucks in, too.
I'm up there being like, man, she sure is pretty.
Yeah.
Trying to swing them all.
She's here.
I don't want to hit a ball.
As soon as I heard, I remember the day or like when I did baseball a couple years
and I heard they were pitching 60 miles an hour and I was like, I'm out.
Yeah, we got to go.
I'm done.
Not doing that.
No, I haven't got hit with one of those balls yet and I'm done.
I quit.
I didn't get, never got hit with the pitch.
Ever?
Mm-mm.
And I was.
You must have been ready.
Bro, I bailed.
I bailed.
I used to, even when I swing, I would step out.
I was like not.
Baseball was terrifying.
Baseball was fucked up.
dude, it's awful.
Yeah.
It's such a bad, I don't know.
It was my least favorite sport.
With all my time off,
I've been catching the fills a lot lately.
Yeah.
It's been a nice midday treat.
I was just,
I was just,
when the 4 p.m.
Demon comes around,
I go,
oh, the Phillies.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
Everything sucks.
Oh, the Phillies.
Why did you pick this?
Uh,
get away from me.
Yeah, yeah.
That is sick.
If you're like,
on board,
they'd be like,
yeah,
you're a piece of shit.
What do you expect?
Of course you're bored, you fucking asshole.
And I think, too, it was only like the aristocracy
You could claim boredom.
No one, everyone else was like, what?
What the fuck are you talking about?
It's odd, though, because I think they had a lot of boring-ass fucking days.
You would think.
I think they always did.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah, it was the same thing every day.
Boring.
But if you were a pet...
I mean, I feel like starving adds a little...
You're like super hungry.
I would get your juices flowing.
For sure.
You're super hungry.
If you ever don't eat for, like, two days, you're like...
Everything.
Yeah, I don't think that was...
Yeah, like, they were starving that hard.
Yeah.
Although they didn't fucking eat.
People did not eat like we eat now.
We eat, like, at least, I think it's like 1,200 more calories a day than...
Or we're bigger.
Right, we're way bigger.
It's why girls can deal like that.
Like, girls are out here dealing because she's...
She's loving.
True.
The extra calories did the thing.
Yeah, I don't think life was a bunch of starving people.
I think they...
One thing I heard was they took so much time off.
Yeah.
Because the fields.
The winter, you're just off.
Yeah.
You know?
Obviously, you got to work around the fucking house, but like...
No, it was the...
Yeah, well, there were also...
There were so many festivals.
I think there was like 35...
You have like Christmas.
Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be bored.
They're just fucking partying, dude.
Yeah.
We've farmed all year and now it's on the party.
Strong argument that the life of the medieval peasant was like kind of rocking a little
bit in terms of mentally.
Every second you're like, dude, I'm not going to hell.
You're truly believed every piece of it.
You're like, I'm not going to hell.
My honor's never been higher.
I'm like the nights of old
and then you'd be like two days later
at your festival. What's that? Is that your cousin getting
a shower? Oh, hell, you saw that.
But yeah, the
yeah, dude, the Romans didn't even have
I think January and February
were at their add-ons. They didn't
have, they would just get to a certain point
and go, all right.
It's just nothing now. Their winters,
they didn't even call it a month. It was just
like dead time. And then March
was obviously, that was. Obviously, that
march it to their enemies and slay them.
What?
Yeah, you know, March was like their January.
Oh, what do you mean?
March, it was from the god of wars, the war planet.
Yeah.
So it was like that's, that was their official start to the year.
Well, that's because military campaigns start in the spring.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But they didn't have January in February.
It was a, that's why it's December.
It's 12.
It's a 12th month.
No, it's a 10th month.
December's 10th.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty sick.
This is a cool fact I learned.
It's a good fact.
October.
Eight.
Eight, but what is it really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's true.
Yeah.
Wait.
Lemaire, if you can't speak Latin, you can't produce a podcast.
I'm so confused.
Why are you confused?
Lamarer, we talked about this.
Were you not there?
I'm confused.
January is month one.
And how does a confused person get a resolution?
I don't know.
You figure it out.
Ask the Pope.
He knows everything.
I didn't.
I thought I'd get more credit for the hit
the fucking easygoing at the end of
Fallon. They kind of cut it off a little.
What happened? I hit the fucking Steve Spiro
at the very end. No one, not
one person caught it. At the end
it was like, when he's like, all right, thanks
man, I'm like, easy going.
Shane Gillis. I didn't get it, Steve Spiros.
Who's Steve Spiros? I wear
my sunglasses at night. I'm going
back to Waterloo.
Hang out with the vampires.
This place looks like New York Manhattan.
That's
that's so funny.
their tits.
Going on shows
are doing,
you might be
a fucking niche lord.
You were kind of niche mogen
on Fallon.
That's crazy,
bro.
It's crazy how hard you niche monging.
Well,
my buddies were there
and I was like,
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this for you guys
at the end because I,
this is all very embarrassing.
Easy going?
It was the first time they showed it.
It was very,
you could see it.
And I think they cut it off.
I think they thought I was up.
I think they thought I was dog whistling.
True.
I think they thought I was going on a white power.
I was going, easy going, Steve Spiroes.
Those of you who know me,
Steve Spirons.
Nobody.
Damn, I'm getting niche mugs so hard.
Without nobody.
I'm going to be, I'm going to be committed to an isolation unit.
Oh, that's right.
I'm going to be crucified.
I don't mean to yell.
I don't mean to raise my voice.
I've showed you this video a thousand times.
I mean it's like the schizophrenic
Yeah
It's awesome
Boy mid breakdown
Gets hit with a fucking fashion
Fashion sense interview
Style studio or some shit
She goes
What's your name?
He goes
What's my name?
I'm confused
Yeah I see I know you're talking about
You're supposed to believe in the ministry
Right
She's like
Yeah
What fuck
Easygoing
So funny
Steve Spiros
Easygoing
I have seen
I know you're talking about
Waterloo
They're creating bums
They create
me.
Bro, if you went full
schizophrenic, too, on one of those shows, it'd be so funny.
I know. Well, we talked about it before.
That's why I did the easygoing.
I was like, I should just, I could 99% that thing.
99% accuracy,
Steve Sparrow's on Fallon.
Just keep going while he's trying to.
All right, we'll be right back.
I'm like, hey, I don't know, that's the Pope.
He knows everything.
Fuck up.
Just get a guy, just earbud.
He's like five schizophrenics.
Just being like,
and then on the third day,
they love names.
Oh, dude.
Schizophrenics love hitting names.
Yeah.
Breakdown,
they'll just be like,
and I talk to Nate Marshall.
He told me 6, 5, 7.
Okay?
So if you ain't 6, 5, 7, motherfucker,
get the fuck out of my face.
I do like how they can flow
from one topic to another where you're like,
hold on.
No problem.
No problem.
They crushed Sigs.
Yeah, my, it was like my cousin's cousin's.
Sweat pants, Sigs.
Swig.
Yeah.
Let's go.
We, they like to get their hands on the,
weed every now and again, too.
Oh, no.
Dude, my, uh, my cousin's cousin's uncle was schizophrenic and we would bring him weed and
you were just literally chilling sweatpants and just bless us for like 30 minutes.
We just get high and listen to him.
Like, dang.
I think I brought it.
I have it somewhere in this house, I think.
My one boy's uncle was schizophrenic and wrote a book.
What?
It's fucking awesome.
Yeah, it's probably fantastic.
It's just ideas.
Every paragraph is a different idea that he has.
And he's like, swimming is four fucking gay people.
Fuck.
Oh, yeah.
My bad.
He was big.
He hated swimmers.
He was like sexual freaks.
Dude, he's not wrong about this.
He was very like, you guys are very sexual.
This is wrong.
This is against God.
Swimming is for homosexuals and sluts.
Well, he's not wrong about this.
Watch him swim and get mad.
It is very sexual to glide through the water.
True.
It's almost like unbearably so.
I'll be,
unbearably sexual when you're swimming.
Yeah.
There's something about it.
I mean,
you know, every sport has its downfall.
You can get shinspins when you run.
Swimming is like,
Like, you got to be careful out there.
You could not pay attention.
Someone can just bull shark across lanes.
Like, no.
Oh, man.
Ah!
You're all tired from the laps.
They would drag you right down.
Yeah.
You'd be careful.
Take you under water.
It hits you with a gator roll.
You know, you might, you're so swimmed up.
You might, you don't know what the hell you do.
You know?
It is.
Yeah.
The schizophrenic guy was right about that.
He's 100% right.
Yeah.
Chicken fights.
Being in a pool with a girl is.
chaos
dude it's
yeah you got
those look if you're brush stroking
you can pause
but you can wrap the pet
you can you can like
if you reach into a lane
you gotta be really careful about that
because you don't know where you're at
when I was just a young guppy
I would I'd be all course corrected
you could easily crash and hit
and that's like
it's kind of a quagmire
yeah because she's in a bathing suit
you could you could look
shut her to think about it
it's shut her to think about it
in international waters
swimming pool has no laws
As long as you're not touching the bottom.
You got me in the deep end.
True.
How should I know?
I was floating, Your Honor.
I was floating a liquid.
I was listening to two minorities
tell me the beach is for white people.
Really?
And I didn't like that.
I think anybody can have fun at the beach.
I've seen a huge uptick.
It was Lamar's opinion.
I think the beach is for everybody.
The beach is for everybody.
God gave us the beach.
The beach is for whites.
No, I've seen a huge uptick.
huge uptick. You said it, brother. Clip it.
Ocean City, New Jersey is where I always went. And Ocean City, New Jersey in the 90s,
very much so appeared to be for whites. I went there a couple years ago, and it's now,
it's the Rainbow Coalition. You're saying it's like the mall. It's like the mall. Yeah. Very
similar to the mall. Very similar to the mall. Although,
80s... 90s, it was for white bad boys. For white bad, a lot of Indian bros, though, are crushing
the beach right now. It's a little theory I have. With the influx of
minorities going to our shopping malls.
You think that's when they found
Hot Topic and introduced black Goths and
Vamps.
That's a good theory.
Thank you. I just came over there. That's a great theory,
actually. It is funny.
Huh?
They love Goss.
You love Goss. Batties.
I think, I love Goth and Baddies.
But I think
that was Lil Wayne. Little Wayne made everybody go to
Hot Topic. We found Hot Topic because of L'OWay.
From skateboarding and shit? Yeah, skateboarding.
He was wearing, like, those weird belt.
and then through that we started to dip our toes of the guy.
Do you think it's possible that Kanye turned black people onto high fashion?
Uh, probably a little bit, a little Kanye, mostly Kanye, a little Jay-Z.
I heard a, I heard an anecdote.
Jay-Z was like, he had to, he had Rockaway which was trash, but he also, like, he was the first one to be like, I'm too old for jerseys and I got to wear like a put, like I got to dress a little different.
Polo's, yeah, all day.
Polo Ye made it cool.
The pink polo yay made cool,
but I think Jay was rocking the polo a little bit, too.
They were making rocker wear polos.
Big as shit.
Yeah, they were pretty massive.
I think we're talking about high fashion.
You're talking about high fashion?
No, don't get me wrong.
I consider a polo.
Any polo.
The pinnacle of fashion.
It is.
It's the height of my fashion.
It's the modern suit.
It's as far as I get.
You're saying a polo with the polo horse,
not high fashion?
No.
No, we're talking about, like,
designer shit.
High concepts.
Yeah, that's probably kind of, or like, ladies.
I heard, so I heard an anecdote about Kanye.
I know someone who went to grade school with him, two years below him.
Apparently he would like design sneakers when he was like an eighth grade and mailed them off to like Nike.
He would just like mail sneaker designs off.
Apparently called a shot pretty hard the whole time.
He's like, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do that.
I'm going to do that.
And he was the guy was just like, yeah, he fucking, I thought he was a fucking asshole.
But it turns out he rocked.
Yeah, he was like, dude, we were all like this guy's out of control.
Turns out he called his fucking shots.
pretty sick
mailing the sneaker designs
kind of tight in eighth grade
it's kind of a nuts move
just being like
now they got to see this shit
yeah
everyone copied his sneak
the adidas shoe we put out
everyone copied that
that like knit looking thing
with a
truly the guy was a fashion genius
said what he said
until he said what he said
he said what he said
he kind of had
he kind of had everything
going for him
he'll be back huh
he'll be back
yeah
he's back
I don't know if he's back
I don't know if the shoes,
I don't know if you can get to the shoes point again.
I mean, I think kind of he can do anything.
Why not?
He did, but he's like putting him out of itself.
I don't know if he has like the factory,
the amount of factors you would need to do what he did before.
What would stop him from obtaining factories and high level connections?
I don't understand.
I don't know.
Could be it.
Yeah.
What do you think?
What do you think would stop him from that?
I don't understand.
I don't understand what you're talking about at all.
Yeah, I just made like acquiring.
Just accusation
Is looking at new boots
You new boots
You new boots goofing
Didn't he
Didn't he should like lower all his prices too apparently
Yeah
Like crazy low
Like I don't know how you could profit off of them
Like make quality and probably
I mean maybe maybe it's not about profit
Maybe it's just giving back to the people
It could be
What
Didn't Stefan Marbury have like cheap shoes
When they were kind of quality
In a time when yeah
It's possible
We've covered this
They weren't trash.
They were cut us quite a bit.
Shaq diesels were cheap as hell.
Fiax were cheap.
Shacks,
I didn't test.
You do not talk about the Shaq Diesel's.
They were blisters.
I used to get blisters so hard in the shacks.
It was a nice thing he did.
I was getting shacks.
Shacks from Coles,
they were like 18 bucks,
and I was blistered out.
It's interesting.
Back to the Snoop Dog conversation.
I don't mind that Shacks and everything.
Yeah.
I like seeing Shaq.
Me too.
You know what I mean?
In every commercial.
I do, too.
Snoop Dog, I go,
why don't you...
Well, he's a drug addict.
He's addicted to marijuana.
Who?
Snoop Dog?
He's a drug addict.
I see him.
I go, this is a drug addict off TV.
This is goddamn...
Shaq Diesel's just known
for having a good time
slam dunks.
Yeah, I said...
Good time slam dogs.
Snoop Dogg's a hoodlum.
He's a gangbanger, dude.
He's a drug addict gangbanger.
He's a hoodlum.
He's a hoodlum.
Snoop dog's a hoodlum.
Snoop dog is a hoodlum.
I used to love Snoop Dogg when I was a kid.
I didn't know what Doggy Saw was and I handed the album to my mom.
Like, can I please get this?
She was like, no.
I was like, why?
Why not?
Because that's how you were conceived.
Now put it back.
I got hit hard on the Pimp algorithm on YouTube.
Pimps?
Pimps.
Just interviews are not.
The tricks are maybe the funniest interviews of all time.
Just guys, just, I don't know why they go on and do these interviews.
or like, yeah, I, uh, I love buying prostitutes all the time.
It's like, dude, what, what is the upside?
This fucking, who, no, there's no, like, maybe they're paying you, but it's like,
every time, like, yeah, I'm smoke crack sometimes and, uh, losing my family over it,
but I just, hey, man, what's, what's that, what's it to anyone if I want to enjoy myself
with another adult?
It's like, what's what's what you're talking about?
But then I saw, I got that fed me into the Pimp algorithm.
Dude.
Pimp, yeah, I've, I've been there a little.
It bothers me immensely.
Do you know the picture I sent you of the guy just,
Go only this?
No.
Oh, dude, it's so funny.
I talk about soft white underbelly all the time, but the guy, they take, like, he's a photographer.
That's like his real thing.
So he takes pictures of him mid-interview.
They show it.
Usually be able to stand there and smile off the camera.
This guy went, it's, but he gets on.
He gets on right away.
He goes, my mama was a certified ho.
What the fuck, dude?
Dude, my mama was a certified ho.
He was, he was, he was, he was gorilla pimping.
That's frowned upon.
What's grill a pimp?
Grill of pimp.
It's when it's,
it's force.
Oh,
you're using violence.
Yeah.
It's claimed that a real pimp,
you should never even go to jail
because there's nothing to charge you for.
These women just love you.
Yeah.
But grill pimp is not nice.
But you're being mean.
Using drugs,
using intimidation,
beat hitting on them.
Can't hit on your hoe.
You shouldn't.
You shouldn't.
But the whole,
the whole game's fucked up now.
But who fucked up the game?
L.A. gangbangers.
They fucked the whole game up.
They got into pimping and they're not pimps.
The LA gangbangers, they're rough, bro.
Really?
Rough pims.
You get a real pimp, like Magic Bishop Don Juan.
Mm-hmm.
Those guys look at it and they go, that ain't it.
That's not it.
The real pimp is apparently loved by his community.
So you haven't watched nothing but Pimp Prop again.
You watch the guys who are like, no, I'm mean and I do it.
It's like, you watch it.
And you're like, God, damn, these guys are vicious, man.
Very, very nasty, nasty line of work.
It's almost nothing worse.
mean pimp. Yeah, no, they're, I mean, there literally are like sex traffickers.
It is funny if you stay within the state. They're like, yeah.
Doesn't trafficked them. Yeah, it's very, very bad stuff. And then if you get locked up as a
pimp, you can get the boys. You can start working the boys. You start pimping the boys.
Damn. Pimp of the boys. That seems like more fun, honestly. That seems like you could,
you could actually have a very healthy relationship with your, with your bottom bitch, with all your,
with your flock.
That's what I'm saying.
You could actually be boys with them.
That's what I'm saying.
You're actually to hang out.
Dude, I just,
I love a motley crew.
So having your motveg my rag tag group of guys.
Yeah.
We would turn,
we would,
I mean, dude,
it'd be a rag tag ensemble,
but we would turn.
Who do you want?
Mark will suck you.
Mark.
Come here, man.
You can play Xbox first if you suck that guy.
Thank you.
I'm not going to let him play first.
Yeah,
I'd like to think, I don't know, I might get grilla pimping on my boys, though.
I think I could see you doing that.
You would, you would, oh, my God.
If you had grill a pippin.
When you, yeah, if you got power, you would grill a pimp immediately.
You would punch Nate in the head.
So I told you to wear that outfit.
Put on something shorter.
Get out there.
I know it's hot out.
Get out there.
Yeah, that's such a fucking nuts.
I mean, imagine that you wake up in the morning.
You're just in an hotel room with like three cracked out lady.
You're like, all right, ladies, come on.
We're going to do it.
Today's the day.
What the fuck do you say?
Yeah, you're going to have to slap a little.
Yeah, I'm obsessed with, I keep hearing about Figueroa Street.
Figueroa Street is apparently in L.A.
L.A.
Apparently, there's just hundreds of ladies with their heinous out.
So it's apparently it's a whole scene.
They just have their butts out.
They have the butts out.
More, like, everything's out.
These poor guys are just driving by.
There's dudes that they can't stay off.
They're there every day.
They're there every single day.
I wonder if they have the Snoop Dog GPS
while they're trying to avoid Figueroa.
It's well, it's so funny because I like
I again, this obviously sounds insane
but I do, I want to see it so bad.
I'm just curious what it looks like.
That's all.
I just want to see it.
So like next time I'm in L.A.
I kept laughing at all with my whole family.
I'm like, let's just take a weird route
and drive by.
I'm like, holy shit.
Oh, God.
What the hell?
Yeah.
Stay off of it, dude.
You got to be careful.
Yeah. I won't go.
Figaro Street. Figg.
I don't think those butts are for me.
Yeah. I bet those butts are...
It's hot cross bones. I bet those are tough heinies.
There's a lot of tough heinies.
Yeah.
But here's the thing. That's what I hear. I hear it's like...
It's not like lot lizards.
Apparently it's just a collection of true beauties.
Really?
Yeah. That's the whole problem.
That would be an issue.
It's true beauties.
Sweethearts.
So you're saying there's sweethearts with their honeies out on the street.
like hundreds apparently if you go down there.
Again, I've never seen it.
I'm just literally dreaming it up from what I hear.
But that sounds insane.
Who told you they're pretty?
One of the guys?
All the horny guys on Softpoint Underbelly.
Some beautiful girls, man.
Apparently, it mean, anything,
apparently it's literally anything you can think of.
They got it on the fig.
Which again, I would say stay away for sure.
Yeah.
You don't want to get caught up with them.
So I got, I wish I'd stop watching Softwine.
That's all I watch on the plane.
I watch pimped interviews.
I fly for two hours.
Watch 10 interviews with pimps.
And I get to San Jose.
And I'm like, all right, let me get this hour together.
I've rotted my brain with pimp material.
Well, I think we've done it.
Let's do the Patreon.
Goodbye, everybody.
Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify.
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