Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 633 - Submerged in Silence

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod WATCH Tires Season 3 Now!! Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Lemaire Lee Live... @ https://lemairelee.fun/ Go See Shawn Gardini Live if you want  @  https://www.shawngardini.com/live hello. Just Fambly for you this week. Your 2 daddiez in Big Kahuna HQ lol. Aquatic themes persist throughout the cast. Xtra pipin' hot. Business as usual. Please enjoy. God Bless. Use code DRENCHED at https://BlueChew.com  to get 10% OFF + Free Overnight Shipping on your first order Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Wow, Wow, Wes. You know what it sucks? I think I got my hair cut in this shirt. It's itchy. Took it off, and now I've got a fucking hairs all over me. They got the new. So if I'm a little grumpy during this podcast, you'll know why. That would fucking bug me.
Starting point is 00:00:13 Dumbass. I call it Phil with a nice dumbass. Call him with a dumbass. Yeah, it was great. Call him, you're your dad with a dumbass. He didn't know. No, he didn't know I was home. And I heard him call my mom a dumbass.
Starting point is 00:00:21 I've talked to you about it. She was like, you take out the trash. She's like, I'm doing it now, you dumbass. I go, Jesus Christ, Phil. He started laugh. It's how you talk to her. And you struck back with the dumbass? You dumbass?
Starting point is 00:00:35 That's so funny. Talking to your wife like that. Doing it right. What do you think I'm doing? Dumbass. Jesus Christ, although. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:00:44 me had taken the trash out and someone be like, did you do it? Bro. fucking doing it right now. I literally have the bag of my hand. It's like having an extra voice in your head that you're like, I don't need extra narration.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Yeah, it's already, things are pretty bleak inside of my head. already. I don't need one more person. Be like, did you do anything today? What'd you do? I was just thinking that. What'd you fucking do? Also, you know when you have a GPS on?
Starting point is 00:01:10 You know how annoying the voices already? Then you put another voice on it. You're like, no, I get this other voice to fuck out. We don't need another voice. I will say people that use GPS audio in the car, that's a big pep peeve of mine. It's crazy. I always turn it off. You have to turn it off. You have to. When it cuts off the tunes with some directions.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Nothing. there's especially when you're blasting tunes on the highway and it's like coming up in five foot you're like all right yeah i'd rather also just miss an exit if that's the case i'll miss the exit and i'll make up time and blast tunes remember how excited how dumb our culture is that we were all very excited about uh snoop dog voiced the garmin no i didn't change the voices of like GPS and people like check this shit i dude that shit traps my ass is a big thing for us snoop dog incorporated and again i had no no shade to the man snoop dog incorporated to kind of chaps my ass.
Starting point is 00:02:01 He's just, he's like every fucking time I turn around. I'll be like five below and it's like a Snoop Dog bobblehead. I'm like, dude, I'm not fucking Snoop dog. Yeah, he's all right. Again, I'm obviously hating here. But it's like, he has like a massive, he's like he has a hand in everything. Yeah. He's got Paul and everything.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Wow, wow, wow. You be a, yeah. I got humiliated. I got humiliated. I got the egg away, Carol. Dude, I can't start listening that song. So I got humiliated at the pool. early in the morning.
Starting point is 00:02:30 This was like a couple weeks ago. It was actually, it was really funny. I was swimming. It was like, it was like six o'clock in the morning. Water dog. I am a bit of a water dog. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Dude, I was so excited because one of my friends is going to come swim with me. And now, now that I'm good at swimming, I'm so excited to show people how fast I can swim. How often, how long do you swim?
Starting point is 00:02:50 For like 40 minutes. Okay. That's not. I was like, if you're retreating from your family to the pool, it's so fucking sick to be like getting yelled out. I'm like, I have to do this.
Starting point is 00:02:59 I have to swim. Swim. I'm swimming. It's quiet down here. It's quiet in the pool. Dude, it's so quiet. Underwater is like, I've said it before. I love chilling underwater.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Dude, it's probably so loud all the time of your house. It's so loud, dude. I just came from just absolute. To the depths and go, dude, I just came from like insanity. It was just trying to get much. How much did you want to get in the pool while you were there?
Starting point is 00:03:21 Every day. It's all I want to get in the pool every day and just go, as soon as I jump in and go underwater and I start just working on my perfect freestyle stroke, fucking rocking. Perfect stroke. Dude, so it's six,
Starting point is 00:03:32 six o'clock at the morning. I'm like, I'm like, I'm here a little early. I was like, I'll be here in a minute. My goggles are like
Starting point is 00:03:38 super scratched up and shitty so I can't see anything. So I come up, I heard that gate clank and I'm like, nice. So I just like come up. I come out of a lap,
Starting point is 00:03:46 pop out of the water. I'm like, what up, bro? It's super early the morning. Just somebody else. Just an Asian lady. And it's so early. It's almost like,
Starting point is 00:03:54 I mean, it's not almost, it's offensive. It seems as if I'm popped out of the water, like pre-dawn to just riz up this lady with these silver reflective goggles. I thought you were a crock. She might have had flashbacks. Dude. And I like, I didn't hear any response.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I'm like, weird. And I pop them up. And I'm like, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I was like, my friend's coming here in a second. You're like, yeah, my bad. Dude, he no shows me. So now I swim next to her for an hour.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Now I look like a fucking psycho and a liar. And I had to just, like, stay the whole time, just like, wait until she got out of the pool. And then I was like, I'm out of here. I kept, like, looking at the gate. And I was like, fuck. It was suckers. She got out when you wanted to get out.
Starting point is 00:04:35 You can't get out. Yeah. You can get out simultaneously. No. I mean, I just, I use, I also, I race the old Asian ladies every time. I just try to clock their pace. And I'm like, all right, I got to. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:45 I got to stay up. You're beating them. I tried to, yeah. Dude, some of them are machines, dude. Some of them, you can tell. They got, like, trained by the government or something. dude there's no way
Starting point is 00:04:55 a seven year old lady should be whooping my ass like that she got selected she got selected I've been playing a hell let loose so I got I got Asians on the brain
Starting point is 00:05:03 do you really yeah go home GI who you so what do you I don't know I like I mean I'm enVA a lot
Starting point is 00:05:11 myself really yeah I like to get in there the AK 47 say that Gai go home because G.I is the GI
Starting point is 00:05:18 your government does not love you GI your government has abandoned you GI. Who gave them the AK-40? Is that the Russians gave it to him? Yeah. Russian and China. Yeah, they've been boys. They've been bricked up
Starting point is 00:05:28 for a minute. Yeah. They've been bricked. They're so gay. They're so gay. Calling their currency. Calling their currency, bricked is crazy. Bricked currency. It's kind of nice. Yeah, no, you're saying it's pretty nice.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Well, right now, we're in a weird part, or we're in a weird position now. We're like, we're kind of working, I think, hand in hand with China a little bit, because they need that Urmoo's oil. Yeah. They need that stuff. And we don't. So I think they're actually trying to be like, come on, dude, let's squash this big beef.
Starting point is 00:06:00 We're in the middle of a beef right now. You think it's four d? Huh? You think Trump's four did. I don't know. I think he's saying, dude, this is all going to plan. China's got to listen to us now. They kind of do.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Maybe. Unless they get bricked up enough. I run into some Trump bros that believe that. Really? Like full on, yeah. Well, that's that. I just read the news about the sanctions. So I was kind of like, you know, we'll see what's up.
Starting point is 00:06:21 but apparently, oh, he's checking his fucking chicken. He's definitely just realized he's burning his chicken. The chicken's been cooking on a grill. There's no way he should be running. That chicken just clocked like 19 minutes at 450 degrees. That chicken's, that chicken's break up right now. There's probably a shadow on the... He was like a mother hen.
Starting point is 00:06:40 He was like a mother hen running to his flock. The mayor's meal prepping right now. He is. Gardini walked in on a roommate spat. Goddini walked in and I was like, this isn't mine. this isn't like who the fucks is this whole fucking fridge is filled with like
Starting point is 00:06:56 Japanese condiments yeah man it's all he buys you're opening your fridge is like gee I go home yeah I literally I open it I go oh yes GI will never eat this I'm GI he's NBA
Starting point is 00:07:08 oh gee I go Death to the Steel Dragon you got to scream Steel Dragon when you shoot down the really helicopter's yeah fuck that's awesome I'm more of a mortar man though yeah I love firing a
Starting point is 00:07:20 mortar. I, dude, that is something about that whole trajectory. And so it's very enjoyable. And then you just hear a little, makes a little noise if you hit somebody. Yes. This is hell let loose Vietnam. Yeah. Brada.
Starting point is 00:07:32 That's got to be crazy. That was kind of, that was a big mortar off. Wasn't it back then? Yeah, it was a lot of mortars. You just chill. I was reading that one book and they said it would just like, you would sit on a base and you'd be getting blasted with mortars. You'd be like, all right, let's go find these guys.
Starting point is 00:07:45 And you'd walk around the woods, maybe see a guy. Yeah. Shoot them, farmer. He'd like, dang it. Dang, it was a farmer. Dang, that was a farmer. But at night, he was maybe firing that mortar. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:07:54 During the day, I go, no, I'm just a farmer, G. I go home. I'm just a farmer. I'm not taking any chances. My buddy just got blown up. Yeah. Well, then it turned in. I don't know what I'm doing here.
Starting point is 00:08:04 Weren't the last couple years, like brutal urban warfare? Yeah, there was a lot of that. Close quarters. Yeah. Cagon, they got a little active. Dude, that shit, Vietnam War. It's no joke. Vietnam was taught.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Vietnamese man just burned himself this week. What? My Twitter, I got on Twitter again and it's it's terrible sex acts and death. Oh no. So I saw a Vietnamese guy burn himself on a bench. That was terrible. Isn't, but don't you get like, that's kind of
Starting point is 00:08:30 like bossed up. If you burn yourself. That's why I was bringing up from Vietnam because the monks used to hit that. Yeah. They built a temple where you burned yourself. How'd that, uh, chicken go? It's burnt. You burnt the chicken. It's not burnt. You worked up a hell of a sweat. 10 foot jog. It's hot, dude. It's in the grill. The chicken's always. It's coming. out smokies, I think, yeah, it's almost done.
Starting point is 00:08:52 It's looking good. It's looking good. You just missed the, you miss the alarm. Yeah. What time are you cooking that at? It's about 425. Yep. Allegedly, dude, there's no way you got that temperature right on that grill.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Dude, I got it up, 425. You think it was a thousand degrees the way you're sweating, man. It's high. You look like you're coming from hell at least. You look like you just came from the shit, dude. I get it, man. I've been in the shit all week. week. Yeah. So how is the new Vietnam hell at loose?
Starting point is 00:09:24 Pretty sick. Is it rocking? If you're playing with buddies, it's very fun. Yeah, yeah. I try to go solo. I play five minutes. Somebody shoots me in the head. I go, fuck this. So what's the gameplay like from the perspective of the Viet Cong? The cool thing is the Viet Cong, you get, you can do tunnels. You can kind of pop up anywhere on the map, whereas if you're playing as the U.S., you get helicopters, which are also pretty cool. Yeah. Somebody's good at helicopters. Like, I just played a game before you got here. Somebody was killing us with the helicopters. Ah.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Yeah. And as a mortar man, that's not good. You don't want them getting behind our line. They kept getting behind our line and killing us. You don't want that at all? Yeah. Coming up through a tunnel. Well, I was in the NBA mortar man.
Starting point is 00:10:06 What? And I was saying, yeah. You can go home. This is not your fight, GI. Did they really say that in the game? No, it's just everybody. Every single person screams it.
Starting point is 00:10:19 the whole time. Yeah, that's so fun. The other one that was good was to hold fast. If you plays the French, everyone just screams, Vive la France. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Everyone just screaming, Vive la France. I actually remember that.
Starting point is 00:10:32 You guys were playing, Capture the Flags or something. Vive la France. Vive la France. Yeah, that's awesome. Hell what lose Vita. Although, is it too soon? Like, what do you think the moratorium is on?
Starting point is 00:10:42 On Vigas for a war? No, you can do it. I mean, yeah. All dude who's doing future war. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. We're doing Taiwan, China. But you haven't seen the Middle East War yet
Starting point is 00:10:53 In what? Yeah, you have What are you insane? What are you stupid? Cold duty, as I said that I'm like, oh yeah, call a dude is already doing it. I'm a fucking person. But aren't they always kind of vague though?
Starting point is 00:11:03 Oh, they're always like vague about who the countries are. Yeah, they literally are like, he's the head of Durka Durkistan. Dirkat Dirkathehrushat. Muhammad Jihad, Dirka Dirkistan. Which is kind of a little more disrespectful. Dirkidurka Dirkistan's crazy. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:19 But it's always something. Yeah, they're like, what would an Arabic country be called? Yeah. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of
Starting point is 00:11:50 Cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca. What's he doing back there? He's lurking gator. The spider's preparing. It's good. The spider's just cooking. I know. Never cooks. He decided during the podcast today, I'll cook. Jesus Christ. Especially, I want to know if you're meal prepping for one or two. He's in the jog again. He's running again. I've been. I need a full.
Starting point is 00:12:21 photo reveal this chicken. I do not believe that this is not completely... He's actually... It's a lot. I don't want to compliment him to his face, but he's a pretty good cook. I already's a good cook. He's a pretty good cook. I think anything to re-learns, he like osmosis. He likes to win for the genetic field. He's been leaving his door open while he's gaming.
Starting point is 00:12:39 I haven't been home as much as... So now I'm home, I'm picking up on his tent. He's been used to cat being away. Yeah. And also's been playing. So I like to go back then and slam the door as hard as I can. While he's talking to people, I can hear him talking to people. I'm like, don't you to close the door! You should also, you should maintain open door policy.
Starting point is 00:13:01 No, he should be no closing. He blast shit. You remember when Cody Rhodes went in his room. It's so loud. True. And he screams about Street Fighter for hours. Struggling with the door, he's in. I got to see this chicken.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Lamerica. Present the chicken to the cam. Let's see what we're working with here. Damn, that thing. You can smell the burnt. that's gonna burn your fucking that's gonna burn your little beak dude well maybe for lunch you know
Starting point is 00:13:28 that's a great cross char although you might have selected your most healthy piece let me see it let me present that to the cam why are you dripping it into the cup because it's it's dripping that's actually really consider it because you see that at the camp at lamare that's actually good fucking chicken man looks a little raw tbh
Starting point is 00:13:43 I'd like to see the inside I like the way you put the pepper on it lamare yeah a lot of people are scared to put a little pepper on there when are you gonna make chicken Alfredo again A little less pepper on the Alfredo. You get a little wacky with that. But I like what you. Oh, I need it, LeMay.
Starting point is 00:14:03 This redeems everything. If you do that, we can have an open-door video game tonight. You can have Street Fighter as loud as you want if you make chicken Alfredo. And you can play as girl characters again. I won't make fun of you. I mean, Alfredo is what a peacemaker. It's nice. Chicken Alfredo is crazy.
Starting point is 00:14:26 It honestly, arguably could be the best food. Then I'll come home after a few drinks. It'll be in the fridge. I'll go, I can take a bite. He'll never notice. And then drunk and I'm thinking, fuck that.
Starting point is 00:14:37 He lives here. I'll fucking eat the whole fucking thing. And then I eat a little bit of it. I go, why would I be a dick? Dude, he made this. And then I stop. This is a tradition. I know.
Starting point is 00:14:48 It's a tradition unlike any other. He's lured and over a big thing of Alfredo. Why shouldn't I? I deserve Why shouldn't I? Are you going to play Hell of Lose with me today? All right.
Starting point is 00:15:00 That's exciting. Fuck. What time's your show? Eight, seven, eight. That gives us several hours. Yeah, I'll play Hello Loose. Yeah. Time you gooming right after this.
Starting point is 00:15:10 We're probably goom as hard as we can after this. Yeah, it's definitely goome after this. I'm in no particular rush. Hell yeah. Nate got new basketballs. Nate did get new basketballs. Oh. Bro.
Starting point is 00:15:25 Could be, could be time for the rematch. They're not ready, dude. One week prep. One week prep. Come back with the shorts. My water shoes. All right. True.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Damn. Aquas socks. That's crazy. Dude, you have a boner. You have a fucking boner, bro. You thought about pool basketball, jumping on the guy. You're confirming Lamar's heart.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Honker theory. Well, he does have a honk. Those two have honkers. I know, dude. Measy got blessed with the Alfredo. He's got the creamy Alfredo. Got the creamy Alfredo. We need to go back to that.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Just fucking smaller the penis. It's like, everyone's like, that's the ideal. Obviously. Ancient Greece. Ever gives ancient Greek so much shit. They had the idea. They're like, if you're rocking a penis, we're going to immortalize you and marbles.
Starting point is 00:16:25 You're the man. You're the man. You got so much energy. I just got another girl 9-11 text. Today's girl 9-11. Oh, yeah, Dolly Parton. R-I-P Dolly. They're all getting the news at different times
Starting point is 00:16:37 and everyone's getting texts from girls. Yeah. It's going, oh, my God, Dolly Parton died. I'm so sad. I didn't even know until you told me. I'm excited to break the news. Why? I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Bring down the thunder. Your girl's going to be like James Cameron getting out of the sub. You're going to go, James, you're going to want to sit down. 9-11 happened when you were underwater. He was underwater for... I think he was underwater. Huge fan of underwater, by the way.
Starting point is 00:17:07 That guy might be the biggest fan of underwater. He must have a crazy family. He's in an abyss every day. The pressure could kill you. He's like, I'm totally fine. Must have the loudest house. He's like, I got to go to the bottom of the ocean. He was underwater during 9-11.
Starting point is 00:17:29 He was underwater door 9-11. There's some classic 9-11s. There was the other one is, what's his name, was dressed up like the turtle. Master of disguise. Why am I forget? Dana Carvey was a turtle, turtle. He's in a turtle costume watching 9-11.
Starting point is 00:17:44 What? Why was he dressed as a turtle? He was filming a movie. There was some Sesame Street characters on good morning America, Elmo had to fucking go, oh. Oh, God. Yeah. Not all Muslims are bad. Let's not forget everybody. No, on 9-11 Elmo, it was like, get them. Turn it to glass. Where are the guys in the top floor go? It is the, you know, as silly as America is, we're probably the most silly country. Yeah. There's every other, those, the serious countries, the war countries are
Starting point is 00:18:24 always pretty serious. Yeah. It's kind of like if a tragedy happens to us, somebody's goofing off when it happens. That's true. Like Pearl Harbor, there's a bunch of people wearing fucking grass skirts, fucking coconut braw is hammered. True. You go, oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:18:39 We never thought it could happen to us. Yeah, I always forget about Pearl Harbor. I don't know why I think it's like, I mean, it was definitely kind of nothing compared to 9-11. Is that fair to say? It was a military base, right? Yeah. Which not good at all.
Starting point is 00:18:56 No, it was definitely Death toll, death toll was. Was it really? Comparable, I think almost Probably, for some reason I'm thinking like 3,000 each. Dang. Like similar.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Yeah, and yeah, very similar actually. That's terrible. I don't know why I thought Pearl Harbor was like kind of light duty. Obviously not great. That was fucking nasty. It was mean as hell.
Starting point is 00:19:24 It was mean. It was horrible what they did. Yeah. That was a big time punk move. Then we said, GI, come over here. Yeah. G.I. is coming over there. You should have done that. Now we're best friends. Now we're buddies.
Starting point is 00:19:39 It's every time. Everyone's, it's a classic story of two dudes having to fucking square up and wrestle. I agree. Being like, all right, dude, you're actually kind of sick. Yeah. That's what we did. That's what I was saying. Yeah, we did that to the South. Yeah. In the Civil War, we beat the fuck out of them so bad. They love America more than anyone. That's, yeah. All day, they wave American flags. were like, dude, it's kind of a pussy of you. Why are you, I fucking kind of hate America? You guys got rocks, dude. North Korea kind of wants to tussle a little bit.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I heard they've been blasting their Acme rockets into the ocean. They have. They've been showing out again. And Trump dogs, Trump, I'd look, a lot of people criticize Trump for that. I like the way he handles them. What does he do? He's just like, dude, we're boys. This is crazy. Why are you acting up?
Starting point is 00:20:19 Dude, you know me and Kim Jong are boys. Yeah, true. And everyone's like, I can't believe he's being his friend. No, you're fucking retard with the rocket. Well, I guess they both. but it trumps work here's a thing it's like you can say there's nine nine hundred ninety bad things you make his personality this and that the fact that he kind of jails with kim jong un is like let him have one redeeming yeah i think that's not that no one else can
Starting point is 00:20:42 fucking chill with that guy besides dennis rodman he does love like 80s 90s bad boys he's probably that's why he loves 30s he loves 80s 90s bad boys he does love 80s and 90s bad boys it's probably because that's all he got was like 80s 90s movies movies, bad boys in 80s, 90s movies. Now I guess to hang out with bad boys from 80s 90s. I mean, dude, it's funny because South Korea is like rocking the film industry right now. They're killing it. Dude, NBA young boy lives there, South Korea.
Starting point is 00:21:12 It's big. It's huge. NBA young boy lives in South Korea now. Do you think anyone's saying, NBA young boy, go home? NBA young boy, I think they're saying, go home. NBA young boy, I think it's a problem. He's so respectful. Is he?
Starting point is 00:21:23 He talks like Michael Jackson. Oh, I didn't know that. You ever see an interview with him? He's pretty wild, but his interviews, he's like, yeah, I don't know. It's the scariest fellas. I know. Tyson, MJ, NBA young boy, the scariest fellas. No, apparently people I think are, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:37 It's, that's, like, the vamp, like, opiate black guy is huge internationally. Playboy Cardi just stands at a stage in France and just, like, dips out and the French go crazy. It's like the coolest shit. It's for real the coolest shit. It's like the pinnacle of, like, high fashion cool. It's to be like a black guy. Gotth, cool black guy. Just whacked out on like methadone, standing on a stage, smoking a cigarette.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Everyone's like, this is the peak of culture right now. It's like the coolest shit ever. It's interesting. Yeah, it's all about Rick Owens, dude. We have to get Rick Owensed out. Just like leather domination straps. You got to express your rage through your wardrobe. That's what me and Rick do.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Expressing your rage through your clothes is so fucking rage. I don't even have any fucking rage. I know. I mean, you can just hop on the bandwagon. I think a lot of those guys don't have any rage. You don't think they're Dark Souls? Nah. I don't have enough rage.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Wait till college football season. True. If Notre Dame drops another one in Illinois, I'm vamped up. I'll go vamp, dude. Notre Dame drops one to rice, you'll see. I'm shaving my head and my eyebrows. I want to shave my head of my eyebrows and just keep a Hitler stash.
Starting point is 00:22:56 then dress like a vamp, dude. We lost to rice. Dude, if you had, that'd be too funny. It would be, yeah. I told you, I was reading that book about, I'd be too cool. I'd be expelled from Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:23:11 If you went, Rick, if you went, if I shaved my eyebrows and head and kept the Hitler stash and dressed like a vampire, I'd be expelled. There'd be no questions. It'd just be a photo of me. Here, he's out. Hold on, though.
Starting point is 00:23:21 If you were to dress in Rick Owens and go Hitler stash, they might take you to another level. And I'm like, holy fuck, we didn't know this guy had it in him. He's the coolest guy who's ever lived. You have to go to France and just stand there with a cigarette in his work. And they're like, this guy's the best artist that's ever lived. This guy, he's completely brought himself into fruition. That's true.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Dude, Hitler's, Hitler's gambit. I was like, I was thinking about the Soviets because, you know, the classic question of like, why is it still allowable to wear the hammer and sickle? Of course. It's like, you know, I was thinking about it. So I was like, trying to. to really distinguish it between kind of like Hitler's gambit and dude
Starting point is 00:23:59 apparently Hitler because the communists were like no it's gambit just like the bet he threw down was like Germans are the best therefore we will win and once we can do a horrible thing but then we'll just be the victors so no one's can judge us but he was on some only God can judge me shit yeah so he was like his plan was like
Starting point is 00:24:17 Germans are superior we'll just we're going to destroy the Jews as that was a big plan and then they're like we'll go through and enslave and defeat every other civilization everyone will be our slaves and Germans will just rock. But the communist thing was like, it was different. Hitler was, it was bad.
Starting point is 00:24:33 He had a bad evil plan, but he goes, who can judge me? Where are you going with this? What I'm saying is he had a bad evil plan. Of course. Communists were like, no,
Starting point is 00:24:41 we're actually doing a nice thing, but it was actually evil as well. It wasn't as, you know, wasn't as evil. It was bad. It was extremely evil. It was very evil.
Starting point is 00:24:49 Yeah. But at least it sounds when you're like, well, how does this work? You're like, well, everyone's going to share. That sounds nice. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:55 When you lead Hitler, was leading with like nasty stuff. Yeah. People go, that's obviously fucking horrible. So that's where I was going. I was just like, I was kind of like, what is the real, what's like the real distinguisher? And it was like, Hitler was pure bad boy. And one of them won.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Yeah. Winners right history, bro. Exactly. Although Japan, Japan did the right thing. What they do? They went. Tea. Just get it to us?
Starting point is 00:25:19 No. We would never do that. Yeah, true. Were they trying to like, extirp- they weren't trying to exterminate. Every other Asian, yeah. Yeah. But they were also hiding it under, like, we're getting rid of colonial.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Now, we're all boys. Mm-hmm. They immediately did the worst things to every single country. Did they really? Yes. I knew they were nasty. They were fucking horrible. God damn.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Yeah. That's, yeah. That's why Philippines still fucks with us. And South Korea fucks with it. They're all. Like, thank you for that. That was. Now, they're starting to turn on us a little bit.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I mean, that's tough, dude. You got like 100,000 Nerudos on you. your ass. That's fucking tough, dude. That's a tough shit. But yeah, so they were that nasty and bad. Yeah. It's so, well,
Starting point is 00:26:07 the funny thing is, I mean, it's not that funny, but back then it was almost like, it was kind of acceptable to be like, yo, our people are the best. We're about to get, we're about to fuck these dudes up so bad. Shitty Chinese. We're going to fucking kill all of them. And everyone's like, yeah, dude,
Starting point is 00:26:23 obviously, we're the fucking best. And you ride that last crest. Everyone's like, what a monster. You're like, I thought this is what we're doing, guys. Although it was tribal warfare. What the fuck? That's, yeah, you're the last, you're the last guy to be like, let me go for it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:36 No, they went. Nasty, nasty stuff. The Japanese certainly went for it. He did. Yes. So they wanted to be king of Asia. Yeah. K-W.
Starting point is 00:26:44 Yeah. Interesting. I feel like they, I've gotten reports in the Asian world that, like, the Japanese still kind of hold it down like they're kings of. Asia. K-Away. I think they all do. Like behind that old little
Starting point is 00:26:59 like T-hee. No, dude, I'm, I used to work for Korean guys and they'd be like, nah, Japanese dudes.
Starting point is 00:27:05 They would just be like Japan rules. They were very honest about it. And they're like, Japan's the best. Japan, I think Japan's cooler than China. Yeah, dude,
Starting point is 00:27:13 100%. Japan's way cool. I don't get tricked by the LED buildings. Dude. I don't get, I know Lemaire gets tricked by the drones and LED buildings.
Starting point is 00:27:22 Lamer is completely China-pilled. No, he is. Japanese filled. Really? Yeah. Big Japan guy. You're a Japan guy.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Yeah, full Japan. Yeah. I don't want this to sound racist, but would it be a Japophile? It's a Japophile, I believe. A Japophile? Well, let's make sure. If you're a white guy, I think they call you a weeb. A weeb.
Starting point is 00:27:45 A webe is if you're a white guy who, like, loves. I think it's a Japan. You probably be Japophile because that's what they're, what it always is. Yeah, it's like Russo Japanese, Russo, Japanophile? What was it in the 50s? You missed an end.
Starting point is 00:28:00 You missed an end. What was it? Yeah, you missed it. No, that's a big end. That's a typo. End's always big in these discussions. God forbid a guy misses. That's a dang verbal typo.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Oh, I like that. I like that. Japanologist is an expert of Japan. What's somebody who loves black people? Is there a nice term for that? It should be. I do laugh I don't know much about Japanese history though
Starting point is 00:28:33 I wish I could learn learn a little bit more about I wish I cared to bore about other What's the word? What is it? Stuff I should say on the Brock There's not like an official Oh wait, there's not a
Starting point is 00:28:44 Wait the America's say it Oh wait Yeah we're not at this Yeah What are we talking But there's like Mirophalia A what
Starting point is 00:28:51 Migrophilia That's not bad That's taste that's tasteful That's tasteful I, man, that's tough. So you can say I'm a bit of a... That's used in historical and artistic context. Well, this is art.
Starting point is 00:29:08 Exactly. Yeah, that's fair. Is that what O.J. Simpson broke in to get him? Kidding. That was memorabilia. That was memorabilia. That's memorabilia. Yeah, that's so funny that some guy,
Starting point is 00:29:28 coined that term. It was like, yep, jobs done for the day. It's a Frenchman. Huh? It comes from the French. Oh. The French. You have so many cool words. The French? Yeah. They do. They fucking do. Here we go.
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Starting point is 00:31:07 For sure. And you go, watch this. I'm going to knock that attitude right out of you. Bro. Blue, chew gold. Ooh. Think about that. The real, hit her with the real deal. Or him. Hit her with a hammer. Or him. For him. For him. For sure. Guys, please come watch me to stand up. September 11th. I'll be in Portland, Maine. And I'll be in Boston, Massachusetts. Those are looking really good. Looking for a stinker here. Guys, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, September 26.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Come on, guys. Need you out there. Charlotte. You guys are looking decent. Ooh, Jacksonville. Thank you guys. Atlanta, Georgia. Come on, man.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Let's go. Atlanta, Georgia. That's October, Fort Lauderdale. And the big one, too. Newark, New Jersey. I don't know what the fuck they were thinking. That place is massive. The New Jersey Performing Arts Center.
Starting point is 00:31:54 The place is great. It's huge. It's just massive. Yeah. It's awesome. I'm excited, but I'm calling all troops. I need to fill the dang thing up. You'll get it.
Starting point is 00:32:01 It looks like the galactic center. Does it really? Yeah. Fuck yeah. It's going to be awesome. It's like pods of people in space. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Out and fucking, that's beautiful. Yeah, that one's cool. Guys, there's a bunch of other cities. Go to Matt McCusker. com. Pretty pleased. I saw Gaffek in there and I was afraid the entire time. Really?
Starting point is 00:32:17 So steep at the top. I was, yeah. I'm not trying to deter. Yeah. It's a spooky space arena. I have no shows. Oh, I'll be in Riley and,
Starting point is 00:32:27 and Charleston this weekend. Please come if you can. Sean. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Matt.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Enjoy the show. They really do. They were the first ones to, I think, well, the British coined boredom, but France had enueue, or whatever that shit was called.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Henri. Honwee. Bortem, you know the term boredom didn't come into the, uh, came on to the scene to like 1850.
Starting point is 00:32:50 It's a relatively new phenomenon. Think about that. That's crazy. Yeah, it's pretty weird. What they call it, four. They didn't have a word for it. There was N. We, there was like little hints.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Fourth century monks had a thing called Acidia, which was the midday demon. Because they woke up at like four in the morning. So noon was there like... They got a little sleeping. It was their 3 p.m. slag. But it was a demon that would come to you and be like, you're, this shit sucks.
Starting point is 00:33:16 Everything sucks. And you wouldn't be able to focus on anything. You just stare out the window. Time would pass slowly. It was called the noon day demon. I'd like to learn more about this boredom thing because I can't believe it. Dude, don't you.
Starting point is 00:33:28 Because there's, there has to be. The word, the term boredom is for sure. Yeah, yeah, but they just, what would they say? But they didn't have, do you have it? No, I'm not finding what was used before boredom, but yeah, it says Charles Dickens popularized it in print in like 1829. Yeah, I believe the etymology means literally to drill into your head to bore. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Yeah. That's pretty fucking, but no, it's pretty new because I feel like there was a, the monks, it was more, it was less of like, there's nothing to do. They would be like, I hate that I became a much. How about gulrums? Let's see. Things like that.
Starting point is 00:34:09 And also, also, early on, it was viewed as a personal failing, not being shortchanged by your environment. If you were bored, they'd be like, fucking piece of shit. You don't fucking do something, you piece of shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:20 There's some English terms from the 17th and 18th century, like tedium. Yeah. Teatious. It reversed to exhausting heaviness. Romans had to talk about boredom. There's no way this is... Well, there's an ancient...
Starting point is 00:34:32 I think there's a Greek poem called The Boar, but it was about a guy who was annoying who would catch you in the middle of the road and just brutalize you with conversation. It's really funny. That's awesome. It's like an old poem where this guy was like... Back then, too, you'd walk for...
Starting point is 00:34:48 You couldn't shake. If you got a punisher, if you're on like the fucking Roman road, just walking, you'd have like a day of walking. You could pick up a punisher who just crush you. You got hit him with a rock. You go, fuck it. Yeah, it's called the boar.
Starting point is 00:35:02 It's all about a guy just greeting you and just being like one of the popes, like, people would write their own version of it. And one of like the popes or bishops wrote his own version of the boar. It was like a cool highfalutin thing you could do. It's about coming across the worst, dude. An annoying fucking dickhead. It's an annoying dickhead. On the path, dude. I got to walk 12 miles today.
Starting point is 00:35:23 That idea is thousands of years old, just picking up a punisher. You'd see him. You'd see him far. away. Fuck. Fuck. Oh, who there.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Fuck. Oh, it's a beautiful day. How fair's thee? You go, fuck. Hey, man, don't really have time. You walk a little faster.
Starting point is 00:35:43 He speeds up. You're like, oh, no. Well, I have nowhere particular to go. What a curse. Yeah, that's, that was.
Starting point is 00:35:53 You'd get away with it. If you hit him with a rock. Oh, you could, you could, pop in the head. Everyone would look the other way. it'd just be you and him I know but I'm saying they'd be like
Starting point is 00:36:02 there's no suspects yeah no you can get away with anything you can still I mean the cameras kind of mess it up but you can kind of still get away with murder it's it's still like way easier than people think although these new cameras man in a city setting
Starting point is 00:36:15 is this what you're thinking in the depths are you underwater you know you fucking flock cameras Yeah, those flocks, I've been seeing people putting stickers on them and breaking them and stuff. Nice. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 00:36:36 I think we can all agree on that. Yeah, the flock cameras. Yeah. But then they go, well, we find, like, stolen kids. So, then you go, well, that's what they say. But that's all released by the flock camera company themselves. Yeah, I know. But, like, if you found it.
Starting point is 00:36:53 I mean, they probably do. If they're scanning license plates, they actually probably do. They're going to get everybody. They haven't because, you know, you would if you could. I'm not sure I understand what you just said. Like, if you could save lost kids, you would. I think they're arguing they have. But where's the proof?
Starting point is 00:37:11 I don't know. You got to find these lost kids, which, hey. Well, how, why do you think that wouldn't work? I mean, the more invasion of privacy there is, the more you're going to be able to find lost kids. Yeah, but they're not going to, that's not their purpose. So they're just saying that so they can make us not. purpose is to catch you running a red light and tick at you.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Not to find kids. Yeah. There's some new stories saying that the flock cameras help them find missing kids. They might. Like, exactly. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:37:41 What's the point? Is it just to... It's just total... Deep tabs? Yeah, it's just a complete fucking paranoid panopticom, man. But it doesn't... I'm not advocating for them, but it's not like... Dude, if you do, you advocate, people will spend...
Starting point is 00:37:55 I wouldn't. I don't like them. But your phone. I know. You're literally on camera and traced at all times, too. That's the funny thing. Dude, the major cities have had these, like, like every,
Starting point is 00:38:07 I think like almost every block of Philadelphia's video recorded. It's been video recorded. So. Hey, lowest murders. It's, it works. It gets people. That's why COVID threw it off because everyone had the fucking masks on.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Yeah. So, you know, you kind of, you could trick the camera systems. But every, I know Philly for sure is like completely been cammed up for a long time. So, but yeah, I don't know. I, you know, it's, I think it's bad if you watch everybody every second of the day.
Starting point is 00:38:33 For sure. You know, it is what is. If they start giving out tickets off cameras, I'm going to rage against the machine. My uncle, my uncle claims you can just, just let those go. Because he said that they don't have, PPA gives you, Philadelphia Parking Authority was doing the light cameras. And he claims they legally don't have the authority to ticket you for a moving violation. So he used to just refuse to pay them.
Starting point is 00:38:54 I got to check in to see how that worked out. But yeah, he was like, you don't got to pay those fucking things. He would never pay him. So, dude, I didn't pay the park. I heard the parking authority like $7,000. I got a ton of easy passes going. Oh, they'll get you. Yeah, they'll get you.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Yeah, they'll get you. Those new private, yeah, they'll get you. And those new private, uh, in California has, it's a French company who owns the private highways. French are all over there. Bro, they'll fucking, they'll jack you up to like tens of thousands of dollars. Yeah, they go wild on. Yeah, they will get you. No, I've heard of people racking up like five figures and tolls.
Starting point is 00:39:31 I'm like, damn. Yeah, I'm probably sitting up there. Texas has been getting me. Really? Yeah. It's been a few years. I would join. A few years of PA in Texas of me not paying a single toll.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Really? You can call and settle though. Might be in trouble. You can call and settle those. I'm going to settle. Yeah. Or I might take them to court. Not bad.
Starting point is 00:39:48 I see you in court. You should spend fucking for a fortune. Just tying them up. I'm going to tie them up. I'm going to get the best. Best lawyers. I'm going to go bankrupt, but... Take a wing out.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Just have them lay off like 90 people. Get a tiger shark lawyer. There are... If you have enough money, you can't... You can, like, sue municipalities and fight cities and stuff and win. I used to work for a guy who destroyed a historic building. And he goes, my lawyer's a tiger shark. He'll butt fuck the city.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Nice. Yeah, dude. It was pretty funny. It was pretty tight. What type of historic building do you store? To be fair, it was... bullshit. I was there. I was actually, I helped destroy it, but it was like, it wasn't like, you know, there's like the Liberty Bell, Ben Franklin's house. This was just an old shitty house
Starting point is 00:40:36 that they had already done a ton of renovations to. And then the historical people came in. They're like, no, and it was like a modern, it was fucking, it was complete bullshit. Yeah. And the, the owner was just like, yo, 7 a.m., crumble it. Because they were like tying him up in court. And he was like, just smash it. I'll figure it out after the fact. And he just had to smash the building. And there was all these historical guys like, you should be ashamed of yourself. And I was just sitting there with like one of those stops signs.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Like, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Should point the stop sign on him. I should have. I did hit the one lady. She goes, that building's history. I was like, it's certainly history now. And she went, my dad's like, stop, all right?
Starting point is 00:41:13 Knock it off. It's certainly history now. Dude, he was like, stop it. Don't talk to them. Don't do that. Yeah, I'm ashamed to say. I said, what history? Tell me.
Starting point is 00:41:23 Yeah, exactly. What is it? What is this? What do you know about this building? They actually probably would. Well, actually, it was like, alright. I don't believe you. You're boring me.
Starting point is 00:41:30 It's hit. Now you're boring me. I'm going to hit you with a rock. You're annoying. That was one of the sickest things is watching a guy being like, bro, I'll deal with the city later, knock that shit down. It was like, goddamn. I don't know. You could just fucking have the stick, go to the city and be like, shut up.
Starting point is 00:41:47 If you're, I think that's like billionaire status. Yeah. If you're a billionaire, the city complains, you can be like, shut up. And go, honey, why don't I give you the podros? I will say, I was negative on Kwanza Jones at first. I've come around completely. She's been a ray of sunshine in every clip. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:06 And, yeah. Dude, it's turning out that the sports leagues are really, I mean, truly milling Black Lady Magic. WMBA is fucking running solely on Black Girl Magic right now. It's just, it's got to be just like fucking really dastardly race baiting clips. I think Quanza Jones is... That's genuine black girl magic. Yeah, that one's good.
Starting point is 00:42:30 That's good. That's, well, that's, yeah. That was a nice one. WMBA is being fueled entirely by hate. Yeah, it's pretty bad. They've entered the trans. Dude, it's now trans. It's a trans and race fight.
Starting point is 00:42:42 You got the trans battle going. The trans battle's crazy. Trans battle's crazy. The trans battle being like, well, we support them. And you have to be like, yeah, me too. All right, jump ball. Let's go, guys. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Try to play basketball. But yeah, that's, yeah, that's a, that's a weird one. I mean, I want to see them put their money where the mouth is. You know, it's one thing to say, that's all lip service to me. It's like, bro, let me see the roster. Stack it. Stack it up. You want to get back?
Starting point is 00:43:09 You want to fucking knock. What's her name? It's just the G League all of a sudden. It's just other NBA guys, guys that couldn't make the NBA. You know, fuck, we already have that. That's a good argument for people always like, what do you not like women? Because you don't watch the WMBA. It's like, I don't watch the G League.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Yeah. I just want to watch the NBA. Yeah. Why would I... I'm sure somebody's come to that conclusion. I don't know about... I never heard the G-League angle on that. That turns in a G-League ball.
Starting point is 00:43:37 But then you get to see G-leaguers dunk, like, yam. Yeah. I mean, the poster eyes, it's going to be ugly. If you go nuts-to-face dunk on a lady... Yeah, we put that white bull in from Philly, put him in the WMBA. He's jumping over those with them. Do backflip dunks. I think everybody...
Starting point is 00:43:56 That's the right mood. They should only let white G-leaguers into the WMBA. So we can really... That's a good... No, those are good, like... You want money? Let's get the racial battle going again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:07 That is nice. Every team gets one white guy. Oh, dude, wait until the movie they're going to make is amazing. The movie in 20 years. It's a league of the... Jack Robinson of the NBA. Yeah. Two and five Canadians will hear the words,
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Starting point is 00:45:42 those poor boys. There's 11 and 12 year old boys getting struck out by a lady on ESPN. I mean, I used to cry, just getting struck out by... Yeah. No one was even watching when I was getting struck out by girls. I can't even know. It's a deep shame. I don't tell anyone I got struck out by girls. When did you play with the girls? Don't worry about it. There was weird,
Starting point is 00:46:02 girls, she was nasty. Really? She was around 11 or 12 years old. And she was dealing. Yeah, she was dealing. There was nothing we could do about it.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Fuck. It was all, we always had like the man child pictures. There'd be like the kids. There's a couple, like, five, 11, six foot kids already. They're dealing.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Yeah. It would be like small little mustache, armpid hair, and I'd be sitting there like, bro, and I'd just not. This is crazy. I have a pinch batter, please.
Starting point is 00:46:24 Yeah, I didn't know that. I didn't know there was a girl. What was, what was there, MPH? Were she more of a technician? She's got, she's got great control, great command,
Starting point is 00:46:34 great location every time. But, I don't know, they always do the MLB comparison because the mound's close. They're like, there's 91 miles an hour. He goes,
Starting point is 00:46:41 it's like 60. Oh, I see what you're saying. But the mount's close. So this is how much time you have to react, which is the equivalent of a 93 mile an hour fastball. God damn.
Starting point is 00:46:51 It was a tough one. The boys from Westchester were up 5-0. And they brought in the fucking... Then they brought in the girl. Didn't score a run. Mama-me. 14Ks, dude. She's crazy.
Starting point is 00:47:06 I mean, that was such a mental game. If I was a... I mean, still to this day, I'd be like, bro, don't strike, get struck out. 14, that's like apocalyptic. Your boys, you and your boys get fucking humiliated on a national stage. That's crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:21 I mean, that's... I'd be curious. I wonder what they're going to do. I mean... Do you fear the bow? She's got a bow and her ponytail. Do you fear it? I fear the fucking bow.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Fuck out of that. I fear the bow, dude. Like, I was tossing to turn last night. I can barely sleep. Although, I mean, high cheese from the bow last night. I was chasing. I was chasing shit in the dirt.
Starting point is 00:47:42 I was, I mean, the bow is humiliating me in my dreams. Torture. Also, too, I might be up there all shucks in, too. I'm up there being like, man, she sure is pretty. Yeah. Trying to swing them all. She's here. I don't want to hit a ball.
Starting point is 00:47:56 As soon as I heard, I remember the day or like when I did baseball a couple years and I heard they were pitching 60 miles an hour and I was like, I'm out. Yeah, we got to go. I'm done. Not doing that. No, I haven't got hit with one of those balls yet and I'm done. I quit. I didn't get, never got hit with the pitch.
Starting point is 00:48:11 Ever? Mm-mm. And I was. You must have been ready. Bro, I bailed. I bailed. I used to, even when I swing, I would step out. I was like not.
Starting point is 00:48:21 Baseball was terrifying. Baseball was fucked up. dude, it's awful. Yeah. It's such a bad, I don't know. It was my least favorite sport. With all my time off, I've been catching the fills a lot lately.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Yeah. It's been a nice midday treat. I was just, I was just, when the 4 p.m. Demon comes around, I go, oh, the Phillies.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Everything sucks. Everything sucks. Everything sucks. Oh, the Phillies. Why did you pick this? Uh, get away from me. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:48 That is sick. If you're like, on board, they'd be like, yeah, you're a piece of shit. What do you expect? Of course you're bored, you fucking asshole.
Starting point is 00:48:57 And I think, too, it was only like the aristocracy You could claim boredom. No one, everyone else was like, what? What the fuck are you talking about? It's odd, though, because I think they had a lot of boring-ass fucking days. You would think. I think they always did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:09 I mean, yeah, it was the same thing every day. Boring. But if you were a pet... I mean, I feel like starving adds a little... You're like super hungry. I would get your juices flowing. For sure. You're super hungry.
Starting point is 00:49:20 If you ever don't eat for, like, two days, you're like... Everything. Yeah, I don't think that was... Yeah, like, they were starving that hard. Yeah. Although they didn't fucking eat. People did not eat like we eat now. We eat, like, at least, I think it's like 1,200 more calories a day than...
Starting point is 00:49:35 Or we're bigger. Right, we're way bigger. It's why girls can deal like that. Like, girls are out here dealing because she's... She's loving. True. The extra calories did the thing. Yeah, I don't think life was a bunch of starving people.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I think they... One thing I heard was they took so much time off. Yeah. Because the fields. The winter, you're just off. Yeah. You know? Obviously, you got to work around the fucking house, but like...
Starting point is 00:49:59 No, it was the... Yeah, well, there were also... There were so many festivals. I think there was like 35... You have like Christmas. Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be bored. They're just fucking partying, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:09 We've farmed all year and now it's on the party. Strong argument that the life of the medieval peasant was like kind of rocking a little bit in terms of mentally. Every second you're like, dude, I'm not going to hell. You're truly believed every piece of it. You're like, I'm not going to hell. My honor's never been higher. I'm like the nights of old
Starting point is 00:50:23 and then you'd be like two days later at your festival. What's that? Is that your cousin getting a shower? Oh, hell, you saw that. But yeah, the yeah, dude, the Romans didn't even have I think January and February were at their add-ons. They didn't have, they would just get to a certain point
Starting point is 00:50:42 and go, all right. It's just nothing now. Their winters, they didn't even call it a month. It was just like dead time. And then March was obviously, that was. Obviously, that march it to their enemies and slay them. What? Yeah, you know, March was like their January.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Oh, what do you mean? March, it was from the god of wars, the war planet. Yeah. So it was like that's, that was their official start to the year. Well, that's because military campaigns start in the spring. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But they didn't have January in February.
Starting point is 00:51:13 It was a, that's why it's December. It's 12. It's a 12th month. No, it's a 10th month. December's 10th. Yeah, yeah. Pretty sick. This is a cool fact I learned.
Starting point is 00:51:22 It's a good fact. October. Eight. Eight, but what is it really? Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Wait. Lemaire, if you can't speak Latin, you can't produce a podcast. I'm so confused. Why are you confused? Lamarer, we talked about this. Were you not there? I'm confused. January is month one.
Starting point is 00:51:46 And how does a confused person get a resolution? I don't know. You figure it out. Ask the Pope. He knows everything. I didn't. I thought I'd get more credit for the hit the fucking easygoing at the end of
Starting point is 00:51:58 Fallon. They kind of cut it off a little. What happened? I hit the fucking Steve Spiro at the very end. No one, not one person caught it. At the end it was like, when he's like, all right, thanks man, I'm like, easy going. Shane Gillis. I didn't get it, Steve Spiros. Who's Steve Spiros? I wear
Starting point is 00:52:14 my sunglasses at night. I'm going back to Waterloo. Hang out with the vampires. This place looks like New York Manhattan. That's that's so funny. their tits. Going on shows
Starting point is 00:52:29 are doing, you might be a fucking niche lord. You were kind of niche mogen on Fallon. That's crazy, bro. It's crazy how hard you niche monging.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Well, my buddies were there and I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this for you guys at the end because I, this is all very embarrassing. Easy going?
Starting point is 00:52:44 It was the first time they showed it. It was very, you could see it. And I think they cut it off. I think they thought I was up. I think they thought I was dog whistling. True. I think they thought I was going on a white power.
Starting point is 00:52:54 I was going, easy going, Steve Spiroes. Those of you who know me, Steve Spirons. Nobody. Damn, I'm getting niche mugs so hard. Without nobody. I'm going to be, I'm going to be committed to an isolation unit. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:53:13 I'm going to be crucified. I don't mean to yell. I don't mean to raise my voice. I've showed you this video a thousand times. I mean it's like the schizophrenic Yeah It's awesome Boy mid breakdown
Starting point is 00:53:27 Gets hit with a fucking fashion Fashion sense interview Style studio or some shit She goes What's your name? He goes What's my name? I'm confused
Starting point is 00:53:36 Yeah I see I know you're talking about You're supposed to believe in the ministry Right She's like Yeah What fuck Easygoing So funny
Starting point is 00:53:45 Steve Spiros Easygoing I have seen I know you're talking about Waterloo They're creating bums They create me.
Starting point is 00:53:56 Bro, if you went full schizophrenic, too, on one of those shows, it'd be so funny. I know. Well, we talked about it before. That's why I did the easygoing. I was like, I should just, I could 99% that thing. 99% accuracy, Steve Sparrow's on Fallon. Just keep going while he's trying to.
Starting point is 00:54:14 All right, we'll be right back. I'm like, hey, I don't know, that's the Pope. He knows everything. Fuck up. Just get a guy, just earbud. He's like five schizophrenics. Just being like, and then on the third day,
Starting point is 00:54:28 they love names. Oh, dude. Schizophrenics love hitting names. Yeah. Breakdown, they'll just be like, and I talk to Nate Marshall. He told me 6, 5, 7.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Okay? So if you ain't 6, 5, 7, motherfucker, get the fuck out of my face. I do like how they can flow from one topic to another where you're like, hold on. No problem. No problem.
Starting point is 00:54:48 They crushed Sigs. Yeah, my, it was like my cousin's cousin's. Sweat pants, Sigs. Swig. Yeah. Let's go. We, they like to get their hands on the, weed every now and again, too.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Oh, no. Dude, my, uh, my cousin's cousin's uncle was schizophrenic and we would bring him weed and you were just literally chilling sweatpants and just bless us for like 30 minutes. We just get high and listen to him. Like, dang. I think I brought it. I have it somewhere in this house, I think. My one boy's uncle was schizophrenic and wrote a book.
Starting point is 00:55:14 What? It's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's probably fantastic. It's just ideas. Every paragraph is a different idea that he has. And he's like, swimming is four fucking gay people. Fuck. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:24 My bad. He was big. He hated swimmers. He was like sexual freaks. Dude, he's not wrong about this. He was very like, you guys are very sexual. This is wrong. This is against God.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Swimming is for homosexuals and sluts. Well, he's not wrong about this. Watch him swim and get mad. It is very sexual to glide through the water. True. It's almost like unbearably so. I'll be, unbearably sexual when you're swimming.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Yeah. There's something about it. I mean, you know, every sport has its downfall. You can get shinspins when you run. Swimming is like, Like, you got to be careful out there. You could not pay attention.
Starting point is 00:55:59 Someone can just bull shark across lanes. Like, no. Oh, man. Ah! You're all tired from the laps. They would drag you right down. Yeah. You'd be careful.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Take you under water. It hits you with a gator roll. You know, you might, you're so swimmed up. You might, you don't know what the hell you do. You know? It is. Yeah. The schizophrenic guy was right about that.
Starting point is 00:56:20 He's 100% right. Yeah. Chicken fights. Being in a pool with a girl is. chaos dude it's yeah you got those look if you're brush stroking
Starting point is 00:56:29 you can pause but you can wrap the pet you can you can like if you reach into a lane you gotta be really careful about that because you don't know where you're at when I was just a young guppy I would I'd be all course corrected
Starting point is 00:56:40 you could easily crash and hit and that's like it's kind of a quagmire yeah because she's in a bathing suit you could you could look shut her to think about it it's shut her to think about it in international waters
Starting point is 00:56:52 swimming pool has no laws As long as you're not touching the bottom. You got me in the deep end. True. How should I know? I was floating, Your Honor. I was floating a liquid. I was listening to two minorities
Starting point is 00:57:05 tell me the beach is for white people. Really? And I didn't like that. I think anybody can have fun at the beach. I've seen a huge uptick. It was Lamar's opinion. I think the beach is for everybody. The beach is for everybody.
Starting point is 00:57:20 God gave us the beach. The beach is for whites. No, I've seen a huge uptick. huge uptick. You said it, brother. Clip it. Ocean City, New Jersey is where I always went. And Ocean City, New Jersey in the 90s, very much so appeared to be for whites. I went there a couple years ago, and it's now, it's the Rainbow Coalition. You're saying it's like the mall. It's like the mall. Yeah. Very similar to the mall. Very similar to the mall. Although,
Starting point is 00:57:45 80s... 90s, it was for white bad boys. For white bad, a lot of Indian bros, though, are crushing the beach right now. It's a little theory I have. With the influx of minorities going to our shopping malls. You think that's when they found Hot Topic and introduced black Goths and Vamps. That's a good theory. Thank you. I just came over there. That's a great theory,
Starting point is 00:58:06 actually. It is funny. Huh? They love Goss. You love Goss. Batties. I think, I love Goth and Baddies. But I think that was Lil Wayne. Little Wayne made everybody go to Hot Topic. We found Hot Topic because of L'OWay.
Starting point is 00:58:20 From skateboarding and shit? Yeah, skateboarding. He was wearing, like, those weird belt. and then through that we started to dip our toes of the guy. Do you think it's possible that Kanye turned black people onto high fashion? Uh, probably a little bit, a little Kanye, mostly Kanye, a little Jay-Z. I heard a, I heard an anecdote. Jay-Z was like, he had to, he had Rockaway which was trash, but he also, like, he was the first one to be like, I'm too old for jerseys and I got to wear like a put, like I got to dress a little different. Polo's, yeah, all day.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Polo Ye made it cool. The pink polo yay made cool, but I think Jay was rocking the polo a little bit, too. They were making rocker wear polos. Big as shit. Yeah, they were pretty massive. I think we're talking about high fashion. You're talking about high fashion?
Starting point is 00:59:06 No, don't get me wrong. I consider a polo. Any polo. The pinnacle of fashion. It is. It's the height of my fashion. It's the modern suit. It's as far as I get.
Starting point is 00:59:14 You're saying a polo with the polo horse, not high fashion? No. No, we're talking about, like, designer shit. High concepts. Yeah, that's probably kind of, or like, ladies. I heard, so I heard an anecdote about Kanye.
Starting point is 00:59:28 I know someone who went to grade school with him, two years below him. Apparently he would like design sneakers when he was like an eighth grade and mailed them off to like Nike. He would just like mail sneaker designs off. Apparently called a shot pretty hard the whole time. He's like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. And he was the guy was just like, yeah, he fucking, I thought he was a fucking asshole.
Starting point is 00:59:46 But it turns out he rocked. Yeah, he was like, dude, we were all like this guy's out of control. Turns out he called his fucking shots. pretty sick mailing the sneaker designs kind of tight in eighth grade it's kind of a nuts move just being like
Starting point is 01:00:00 now they got to see this shit yeah everyone copied his sneak the adidas shoe we put out everyone copied that that like knit looking thing with a truly the guy was a fashion genius
Starting point is 01:00:10 said what he said until he said what he said he said what he said he kind of had he kind of had everything going for him he'll be back huh he'll be back
Starting point is 01:00:24 yeah he's back I don't know if he's back I don't know if the shoes, I don't know if you can get to the shoes point again. I mean, I think kind of he can do anything. Why not? He did, but he's like putting him out of itself.
Starting point is 01:00:37 I don't know if he has like the factory, the amount of factors you would need to do what he did before. What would stop him from obtaining factories and high level connections? I don't understand. I don't know. Could be it. Yeah. What do you think?
Starting point is 01:00:49 What do you think would stop him from that? I don't understand. I don't understand what you're talking about at all. Yeah, I just made like acquiring. Just accusation Is looking at new boots You new boots You new boots goofing
Starting point is 01:01:03 Didn't he Didn't he should like lower all his prices too apparently Yeah Like crazy low Like I don't know how you could profit off of them Like make quality and probably I mean maybe maybe it's not about profit Maybe it's just giving back to the people
Starting point is 01:01:15 It could be What Didn't Stefan Marbury have like cheap shoes When they were kind of quality In a time when yeah It's possible We've covered this They weren't trash.
Starting point is 01:01:29 They were cut us quite a bit. Shaq diesels were cheap as hell. Fiax were cheap. Shacks, I didn't test. You do not talk about the Shaq Diesel's. They were blisters. I used to get blisters so hard in the shacks.
Starting point is 01:01:42 It was a nice thing he did. I was getting shacks. Shacks from Coles, they were like 18 bucks, and I was blistered out. It's interesting. Back to the Snoop Dog conversation. I don't mind that Shacks and everything.
Starting point is 01:01:52 Yeah. I like seeing Shaq. Me too. You know what I mean? In every commercial. I do, too. Snoop Dog, I go, why don't you...
Starting point is 01:02:01 Well, he's a drug addict. He's addicted to marijuana. Who? Snoop Dog? He's a drug addict. I see him. I go, this is a drug addict off TV. This is goddamn...
Starting point is 01:02:10 Shaq Diesel's just known for having a good time slam dunks. Yeah, I said... Good time slam dogs. Snoop Dogg's a hoodlum. He's a gangbanger, dude. He's a drug addict gangbanger.
Starting point is 01:02:22 He's a hoodlum. He's a hoodlum. Snoop dog's a hoodlum. Snoop dog is a hoodlum. I used to love Snoop Dogg when I was a kid. I didn't know what Doggy Saw was and I handed the album to my mom. Like, can I please get this? She was like, no.
Starting point is 01:02:36 I was like, why? Why not? Because that's how you were conceived. Now put it back. I got hit hard on the Pimp algorithm on YouTube. Pimps? Pimps. Just interviews are not.
Starting point is 01:02:49 The tricks are maybe the funniest interviews of all time. Just guys, just, I don't know why they go on and do these interviews. or like, yeah, I, uh, I love buying prostitutes all the time. It's like, dude, what, what is the upside? This fucking, who, no, there's no, like, maybe they're paying you, but it's like, every time, like, yeah, I'm smoke crack sometimes and, uh, losing my family over it, but I just, hey, man, what's, what's that, what's it to anyone if I want to enjoy myself with another adult?
Starting point is 01:03:14 It's like, what's what's what you're talking about? But then I saw, I got that fed me into the Pimp algorithm. Dude. Pimp, yeah, I've, I've been there a little. It bothers me immensely. Do you know the picture I sent you of the guy just, Go only this? No.
Starting point is 01:03:27 Oh, dude, it's so funny. I talk about soft white underbelly all the time, but the guy, they take, like, he's a photographer. That's like his real thing. So he takes pictures of him mid-interview. They show it. Usually be able to stand there and smile off the camera. This guy went, it's, but he gets on. He gets on right away.
Starting point is 01:03:44 He goes, my mama was a certified ho. What the fuck, dude? Dude, my mama was a certified ho. He was, he was, he was, he was gorilla pimping. That's frowned upon. What's grill a pimp? Grill of pimp. It's when it's,
Starting point is 01:03:58 it's force. Oh, you're using violence. Yeah. It's claimed that a real pimp, you should never even go to jail because there's nothing to charge you for. These women just love you.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Yeah. But grill pimp is not nice. But you're being mean. Using drugs, using intimidation, beat hitting on them. Can't hit on your hoe. You shouldn't.
Starting point is 01:04:17 You shouldn't. But the whole, the whole game's fucked up now. But who fucked up the game? L.A. gangbangers. They fucked the whole game up. They got into pimping and they're not pimps. The LA gangbangers, they're rough, bro.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Really? Rough pims. You get a real pimp, like Magic Bishop Don Juan. Mm-hmm. Those guys look at it and they go, that ain't it. That's not it. The real pimp is apparently loved by his community. So you haven't watched nothing but Pimp Prop again.
Starting point is 01:04:44 You watch the guys who are like, no, I'm mean and I do it. It's like, you watch it. And you're like, God, damn, these guys are vicious, man. Very, very nasty, nasty line of work. It's almost nothing worse. mean pimp. Yeah, no, they're, I mean, there literally are like sex traffickers. It is funny if you stay within the state. They're like, yeah. Doesn't trafficked them. Yeah, it's very, very bad stuff. And then if you get locked up as a
Starting point is 01:05:09 pimp, you can get the boys. You can start working the boys. You start pimping the boys. Damn. Pimp of the boys. That seems like more fun, honestly. That seems like you could, you could actually have a very healthy relationship with your, with your bottom bitch, with all your, with your flock. That's what I'm saying. You could actually be boys with them. That's what I'm saying. You're actually to hang out.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Dude, I just, I love a motley crew. So having your motveg my rag tag group of guys. Yeah. We would turn, we would, I mean, dude, it'd be a rag tag ensemble,
Starting point is 01:05:39 but we would turn. Who do you want? Mark will suck you. Mark. Come here, man. You can play Xbox first if you suck that guy. Thank you. I'm not going to let him play first.
Starting point is 01:05:53 Yeah, I'd like to think, I don't know, I might get grilla pimping on my boys, though. I think I could see you doing that. You would, you would, oh, my God. If you had grill a pippin. When you, yeah, if you got power, you would grill a pimp immediately. You would punch Nate in the head. So I told you to wear that outfit.
Starting point is 01:06:11 Put on something shorter. Get out there. I know it's hot out. Get out there. Yeah, that's such a fucking nuts. I mean, imagine that you wake up in the morning. You're just in an hotel room with like three cracked out lady. You're like, all right, ladies, come on.
Starting point is 01:06:25 We're going to do it. Today's the day. What the fuck do you say? Yeah, you're going to have to slap a little. Yeah, I'm obsessed with, I keep hearing about Figueroa Street. Figueroa Street is apparently in L.A. L.A. Apparently, there's just hundreds of ladies with their heinous out.
Starting point is 01:06:41 So it's apparently it's a whole scene. They just have their butts out. They have the butts out. More, like, everything's out. These poor guys are just driving by. There's dudes that they can't stay off. They're there every day. They're there every single day.
Starting point is 01:06:52 I wonder if they have the Snoop Dog GPS while they're trying to avoid Figueroa. It's well, it's so funny because I like I again, this obviously sounds insane but I do, I want to see it so bad. I'm just curious what it looks like. That's all. I just want to see it.
Starting point is 01:07:10 So like next time I'm in L.A. I kept laughing at all with my whole family. I'm like, let's just take a weird route and drive by. I'm like, holy shit. Oh, God. What the hell? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:21 Stay off of it, dude. You got to be careful. Yeah. I won't go. Figaro Street. Figg. I don't think those butts are for me. Yeah. I bet those butts are... It's hot cross bones. I bet those are tough heinies. There's a lot of tough heinies.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Yeah. But here's the thing. That's what I hear. I hear it's like... It's not like lot lizards. Apparently it's just a collection of true beauties. Really? Yeah. That's the whole problem. That would be an issue. It's true beauties.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Sweethearts. So you're saying there's sweethearts with their honeies out on the street. like hundreds apparently if you go down there. Again, I've never seen it. I'm just literally dreaming it up from what I hear. But that sounds insane. Who told you they're pretty? One of the guys?
Starting point is 01:08:04 All the horny guys on Softpoint Underbelly. Some beautiful girls, man. Apparently, it mean, anything, apparently it's literally anything you can think of. They got it on the fig. Which again, I would say stay away for sure. Yeah. You don't want to get caught up with them.
Starting point is 01:08:19 So I got, I wish I'd stop watching Softwine. That's all I watch on the plane. I watch pimped interviews. I fly for two hours. Watch 10 interviews with pimps. And I get to San Jose. And I'm like, all right, let me get this hour together. I've rotted my brain with pimp material.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Well, I think we've done it. Let's do the Patreon. Goodbye, everybody. Watch new episodes of Matt and Shane's secret podcast on Spotify. Do it. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters.
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