Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Night Stalker

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

Shane has made a serious choice in terms of how he expresses himself in fashion. Matt took the wrong tincture thinking it was CBD and got stung toward the end of the ep when he tried to explain his 2021 goals.  Either way, we push on into this strange and disconnected reality we now inhabit...forever in darkness.  Support the DAWGZ @patreon.com/MSsecretpod Go to a show@ shanemgillis.com/live

We are on. Dude, I'm cold showers now. After the Patreon with Mullen. I accidentally took one this morning. How'd you like it? I hated it. Really? Yeah, if somebody uses the sink in our kitchen at all, like the hot water, it's just instantly freezing. And I was showering and somebody was washing dishes. You won't say who?

I didn't like it. It's so funny. And then it's just like whoever you hate the most at the time is the person washing dishes. You want to say who? I didn't like it. It's so funny. And then it's just like whoever you hate the most at the time is the person washing dishes in your head. Yeah. You're like, that motherfucker. Just in a cold shower, like fucking Chris. How cold are you talking?

Ice cold. It's just cold water. That's awesome. It was terrible. So you just got blasted out of nowhere. What was funny was I was getting blasted and I could feel it start coming. And I was like, oh, I'm going to do this because we just talked about this. I was like, I'll stand in this for like two seconds.

I was like, I just got toughened out. I had to step out of it and stand there naked, just freezing like this sucks. Like this fucking sucks. I don't know what's good about this. Oh, fuck. Just the penis. Oh yeah dude i i got uh i right before i came i went for just a little run a little something a little mile and uh i came back in yeah you've been running like crazy i just got back in your face thank you bro i get

my son here i'm gonna start running event i just want to do you ever see the emaciated 50 year old men who just are like i want to become one of them. It's just like always a hat and gloves on, barely moving somehow and jogging. Yes. It's like – Yeah, you see that guy a lot. They're all over the place. Yeah. They read – there's a book called Born to Run.

I think it tells you to like – I don't know what's in that book, but like just look as gay as possible and you will crush marathons. Yeah. That's exactly how they run. Look, gay people are faster than us. Get over it. If you want to run, you have to just – I mean, that's not nice.

That's not nice. Come on, Matt. I'm sorry. Not with everything. I promise. Although we have about 24 hours more of goofing. We got a few more hours to goof. True.

Yes. Dude, yeah, man. By the time this is released. I just hope the Proud Boys don't abduct Mike Pence, dude. If the Proud Boys get Pence. I've never got into politics or followed anyone, but there's no one I admire more than Mike Pence, dude. He did what was right.

I just love him in general. He backstabbed Trump at the last moment. True, dude. I didn't think he had it in him. True. I thought he was a yes man. In the end, dude, he was Judas. He was. True, dude. I didn't think he had it in him. True. I thought he was a yes man. But. In the end, dude, he was Judas.

He was. He was Judas. He was, dude. Trump will forgive him. You think so? Trump's a very forgiving, not spiteful man. You think he'll rise again on Trump TV? Trump.

Do you think they're going to give him his own Oprah TV network kind of thing? I don't think it's up to that. I think he'll just do it. True. It'll be massive. But it'll just be online. And it'll be him just, he's going to torch fucking everybody. Dude, he's old.

He's going to crush the Republicans. Yeah. Everybody. He hates everybody. Yeah, he'll be on info. Hopefully him and Alex Jones can reconcile. I haven't been following Jones a lot. But, dude, if he pops on InfoWars after he gets out of the presidency, that might be the most televised fucking thing.

It will be. Just Jones being like, you know, I know about this all the time, the whole time. Mr. President. As far as I'm concerned, you're still Mr. President. After that coup. The real coup. Yeah, I was reading an article about that last night about how like they're comparing the capital stormers to ISIS basically and being like we didn't find any patterns for ISIS. They were just like, you know, obviously there's religious fervor there.

But really, we couldn't really put a profile on anybody who would do kind of like Islamic terrorism. They did put a profile on like the white rappers who like would for some reason go out there. Yes. They kind of figured out what they were up to a little bit but they were like saying uh they were like running down the profile of a capital stormer and i didn't get that far into the article but all they were doing is making them seem sweet they're like well it's like very into like you know uh declaration of independence 1776 kind of like when people did it for But this version sucks. It's not the good one. I think something popped up on my phone and my attention wandered.

But I'm like, damn, you're not doing a good job on selling me away. You're just telling me... How much these guys rock? Basically, they were trying to be like... They think they're 1776, but they're not really 1776. We're 1776. Anyway, you're not allowed to say this. Dude,

when I was driving down, there was a, have you seen those FBI billboards? The hotlines and websites on how to snitch on people that went to the Capitol. Really? Driving down 95, saw a big billboard for the FBI. You're like,

snitch on your neighbors. Tell us. What? It's good. We're headed to a good place. Yeah, this can't go wrong. No,

it's going to be good to see Biden get yeah this can't go wrong no it's gonna be good to see biden get sworn in surrounded by the military and an empty it's gonna be like it's gonna be everybody's been afraid of authoritarianism yeah and then it's like what's it look like oh there it is yeah yeah oh shit that's what it is there it is damn it oh man it is nice being like that'll never get us yeah like dude we vote so yeah we actually vote sorry yeah and then it's oh man it is nice to me like that'll never get us yeah like dude we vote so yeah we actually vote sorry yeah and then it's like the government's posting signs like report your neighbors to us yeah it's good stuff it is fun it's it's it's fun it's fun to be alive during one of these times but i think what will be nice at least at a dumbed down level for us is the news will be

good now so then everybody hopefully will chill out a little more you know the new oh you mean i think the news won't be kicking up shit as much during you know it's not like this is some fucking unique take but it's just going to be nice to be like you know the masses will get pacified a little i think so yeah hopefully the news won't be as hell-bent on convincing us that we're all in existential peril. But they might just be like, in other news, everything's great now. Yeah. We got a good president.

The germs have left the air. Yeah, things are good. We're all good now. Yeah, hopefully things are good. Hopefully they lie and tell us things are good. I would prefer that. I would prefer that lie. Fuck yeah.

I'll take it. I'll just go gently into an authoritarian state if things are nice if if if the news can be like stoked on me i'll take that being like other news you guys are doing actually pretty well keep it up in the news yeah black people and white people are getting along hmm the virus is gone hmm weird that's crazy who would have thought that the virus was gonna go away i mean dude imagine if they did just pump in january sick nice stuff everyone's they don't ever show the good news it's like well you're not going to watch it yeah true if you tuned it in it was just kind of like

check out the i'd be surprised if it was animal vids they could just hit us the news should just be animal vids animal memes for like 30 minutes and you're like i watch it i mean that's my news that's my news i watch like cats in minecraft falling and i'm like nice wow got something done today dude i watched the there's a night stalker night stalk stalker yeah documentary on richard ramirez on netflix who's that? He was wild. He was just killing everybody. He wasn't doing it like... He was a serial killer that they couldn't figure out.

Yeah. Like, he was like... Oh, he's a total... He had no motive. He was just breaking... He was killing old people, raping kids, just... So he had a broad... This guy had bandwidth.

Everybody. This guy could do it all, you would say. Anybody. Anybody could get it. Killed the elderly, raped children. These are usually specialized endeavors all, you would say. Anybody. Anybody could get it. Killed the elderly, raped children. These are usually specialized endeavors. He was on site with everybody. It was just every night.

He was like, it's on site. Whoever I'm fucking getting. Will I rape you? Will I kill you? I don't know. My favorite part, and they kind of gloss over it, is he broke into this couple's house and shot the guy in the head through the temple while he was sleeping and shot the wife in the face.

Okay. The bullet went in here. Both of them lived and chased him out of the house. What? Yeah. It's just been making me laugh since. Did they stay together? There's a couple that you shoot them in the head and they're like, get the fuck out of

our house. It's like, holy shit. And the night stalker ran away. He shot both of them in the head. And then was like, oh, fuck. This is my favorite couple ever. Just sleeping. Waking up from a sleep. Getting shot in the head.

And be like, you motherfucker. Hey, get out of here. Hey, motherfucker. And then just looking at each other. Like, you okay? I don't know. He shot me in the fucking head. Oh, me too.

Just resuming a fucking three-day argument and be like, so anyway. Dude, the lady got shot like in the face and it like got stuck in her neck.

Oh. Where'd the dude get hit? He got shot in the fucking temple. And he just... And just sat up and was like, you motherfucker.

You better get the fuck out of here dude get out i'm fucking naked what the fuck he was probably in his underwear oh had a boner oh but they just like the night stock would break in and just like kill an 80 year old woman and then the family would go to the house and they'd be like your grandma's murdered and one of them oh dude it's all horrific one of them, oh, dude, it's all horrific. One of them is two sisters that were in their 80s that lived together. And the night stalker got in there and killed him with a hammer. He killed him.

Oh, my God. What a horror. I mean, just think, there's two ladies just being like, I guess we'll just slowly die of loneliness. Yeah, we'll stay together. It'll be sweet. That's how a dude breaks in with a horror. I mean, just think. There's two ladies just being like, I guess we'll just slowly die of loneliness. Yeah, we'll stay together. It'll be sweet. That's how a dude breaks in with a hammer. Just murders you both.

Damn. Dude, my substitute teacher got murdered with a hammer. No. Yeah, man. Sweetheart, dude. I hope it wasn't the Night Stalker. Wait. I think it was actually her ex-husband or someone.

I forget. But, yeah. Why am I crying? I got your disease. I got your disease now. I got leaky eyes, accident or something. I forget. But yeah. Why am I crying? I got your disease. I got your disease now. I got leaky eyes. Yeah. I got the LeMaire disease.

LeMaire, your leaky eyes went away. Yeah. My eyes are always leaky. Yeah. LeMaire's eyes are fucking gross. They're always, like, wet. Sorry. Sorry, man. Pardon me. Pardon me. Yeah, man. sorry sorry man pardon me yeah man the uh having just two elderly sit were they were they widows

or were they just kind of spinsters who knows just two old maids dude yeah because i was wondering fucking retarded guy broke into their house it's so funny to sit there and be like hey what's going on yeah there's a man in the house he He's just like, come here, bitch. I'm from Satan sent me. They're like, what? What the hell are you talking about? I'm the devil, bitch. He starts spinning the rosary.

He's like, it's not working. It's not working. Yeah, man. Dude, I watched a fucking very dark film last night. Did you ever see Daredevil? I did. I hate it. The one with fucking Ben Affleck? That movie is so bad.

It's so funny. Oh, my God. Like a blind lawyer? Blind lawyer, but he can see sonar, kind of. It's like if something's too loud, it fucks his vision up. But if there's a little bit of noise, you can see kind of – you can see like hot babes basically. Like, oh, you're so fucking hot. It's – I was watching this just – I mean I was just kind of like, you know, me and Bae, we're in the middle of some seismic relationship kind of shift.

So we're obviously working it out. We're duking it out a little. Yeah. So come Sunday, dude, she's like, what do you want to watch? You know, we're in season three of Westworld, which I'm enjoying a lot. she's like what do you want to watch you know we're in season three of westworld which i'm enjoying a lot she's like can we watch uh i'm sorry just at night just like this hitting somebody and they're like what the fuck hey get wait watch the walls just waking up getting shot in the head

Wait, watch the walls. Just waking up, getting shot in the head. Ow! Yeah, be like, God damn it! All right. So you're watching Daredevil with your... Oh, my God. Yeah, I was just so beaten down by the weekend. Good for you.

She's like, can we watch... She's, like, really into the character Elektra for some reason, who's Daredevil's girlfriend. And she's like, but you have to watch... She's like, in order to watch Elektra, you have to watch Daredevil. At this point, I'm on the couch. I'm going, Brit, I'll... Is that Halle Berry? Turn it off. No, no, no. watch Daredevil. At this point, I'm on the couch. I'm going, Brit. Is it Halle Berry?

No, no, no. It's Elektra. Jennifer Garner, I'm going to say. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Dude. Oh, my God. Dude.

So I'm watching Daredevil. And it's funny when those movies, you can tell, are written by just like an absolutely embittered nerd. Because you listen to the dialogue and it's like, and that's what I'll remain forever in darkness, the daredevil. Like someone bullied. That's what happens. If you bully too much, this is the result. Everyone has to watch the daredevil, dude. And that's what I'll remain forever judging in justice and darkness.

Everybody thinks I'm actually weak, but I'm actually really super strong. I'm actually really smart. I'm a lawyer, but I'm also fucking blind. So everybody underestimates me, but I do super sweet karate. And then I fuck the prettiest girl who's also a superhero. And her dad's a billionaire

and she also knows karate really well. Dude, it's so... It was so fucking funny just watching that entire movie and just thinking about the angry nerd who wrote this thing. Yeah. It was so...

Dude, it's... It's pretty fun. It's unbelievable how just horrible this was and how, at the time, Ben Affleck and, dude, probably, I would say, some of his best work... Who's the Irish guy?

Not Conor. I'm going to say Conor McGregor. Who's the guy? Colin Firth. Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell, that's right. Probably some of his best work is Bullseyeish guy not connor mullins like conor mcgregor who's the guy colin firth colin farrell colin farrell that's right probably some of his best work is bulls fucking rules dude i i think i'd be between that and impregnations between do you know what i'm talking about you know bullseye is the guy who throws like toothpicks like i mean now i never miss oh dude it didn't even bother me i just sat there and just kind of watched it and

was just kind of like i was actually kind of into it. The sonar shit was pretty tight. Also, totally before any kind of epilepsy warnings. Like half the movie is in strobe light. Yeah. Yeah, his vision. I do remember that. I remember what his vision looks like. Dude, it's prime Evanescence time.

So like everything – every cool part of that movie is timed to just like – the lady is training and like just slicing bags on the first slice. Like, save me from the nothing. It's just Evanescence, dude. Just a blind guy. It's got to be the worst movie ever. Punching people to Evanescence. And I'm like, dude, the nerd rage on this is the FBI should investigate that. Yes.

We should be snitching on them. I might call about that. Remember we called the fucking, we tweeted the fucking writer of that one video? The one movie? Yeah, the movie. The Gallows. Yeah. that movie. The gallows. Yeah. The gallows was terrible.

People getting hung constantly. At like a play. Yeah, it was pretty bad. Yeah. You should contact the, actually no, don't contact anyone. Never mind.

Yeah, please don't. Never mind. But that dude watching it, just prime Evanescence time of like, dude, Affleck was probably like, dude,

I'm finally in the, this is my superhero movie. And everyone was like, sucks. Fucking sucks. He's like, fuck. Yeah,

that's gotta be tough. It's gotta be tough. Wasn't he Batman too for a while? Yeah, but that was before? Decade later. Oh,

that was after, that was his company. So he was, so he was the daredevil first. Who's daredevil first? He's a little beefy for a daredevil. Well, the dad was beefy. Yeah. Oh, is the daredevil first. He was the daredevil first. He's a little beefy for a daredevil.

Well, the dad was beefy. Yeah. Oh, was the daredevil supposed to be skinny? I think so. Well, Affleck's, I don't know. He was stocky, dude. He's got a decent Batman body. Yeah, dude.

But. I was checking out his back in Daredevil. It's thick, dude. Yeah. He was taking a shower at one point, dude. I was like, they've got a thick ass fucking back like his daddy. His daddy jacked the devil, dude. But yeah, dude, the ending's

so funny. That's where I'll remain forever in darkness, your guardian devil. Your guardian devil? Oh, man. Your guardian devil. You can almost hear at the end, it's kind of like a breathy, like... Nobody will respect how cool I am and how powerful i am but that's fine

i don't do it for anybody else i do it for myself and just do it for you guys justice and justice i love justice uh yeah that was fun i have a bad movie to report as well what'd you got i watched uh news of the world that new uh pedophile tom hanks movie what's the pedophile tom hanks up to? He made a movie, and I was stoked on it. It was about the fucking Injuns, 1870s. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think it was loosely based on one of the ladies who had gotten kidnapped as a child from the Comanche.

And her uncle actually spent his whole life trying to get her back. They made a John Wayne movie about it. But then this one, I don't know. They just fucked it up it was pointless yeah it was point and right when it started i was like you know i was i was i was alone so i was able to say things like this but i was like i know it's just gonna be bad white guys yeah yeah like it's gonna be a historical movie about white guys being evil was tom hanks evil or like no tom hanks so they did the same thing they did in greyhound that that movie where he was on where he like befriended the cook yeah the black cook at

the beginning of this one the way he finds the girl she was her something got attacked with a black guy and he got hung and it said like whites only he got like lynched and then uh tom hanks like it cuts to tom hanks like burying that guy and putting, like, a cross on his grave. Yeah. And, like, it's like he – and then later you find out he was a Confederate soldier. So it's like – So he had his dark past. So he was a Confederate soldier, but now he's like, everybody deserves respect.

It's like, beat it, movie. Yeah. Beat it. You don't need to show me that at the beginning and then i was wondering because it's a book i wonder if that was in the book yeah i wonder if it was or if that was a little hollywood like a little razzle tat and we need to make sure everybody knows he's a good confederate soldier yeah you know yeah i wonder if i don't know i think tom hanks might be getting typecasted as like a racially enlightened historical exactly that's

exactly what this was this is is wrong. It was. It is the perfect Tom Hanks movie. Yeah. And at one point, he starts a workers' riot. So his job is to read the news. That's his job. He goes town to town and reads the news, which is pretty funny. Yeah.

But then the problems were so manufactured. Like right away, he finds this girl who's an Indian. He's trying to, a white girl that was raised by Indians. And he's trying to like return her to this, to her aunt and uncle. Really? Yeah. And right away, a gang of white dudes are like, we need that child. We'd like that child for our own.

So he's got to like fight them off. The evil white guy's like, come on, man. Just give us the girl. So the Comanches are like, here you go, sir. And the Comanches are like very honorable honorable noble people just walking in the dark but uh oh this is your girl excuse us yeah yeah take her back uh and then so he kills the one guy then he goes the next thing they get ganged up on by another different group of white guys they're like give us what's going on here over and over again it's just white guys like tom hanks you going? And Tom Hanks is like, I love black people.

This has nothing to do with this. Every once in a while, the bad guys will be like, this is white's land only. And it's like, all right, shut up, dude. He's just saying it to Tom Hanks? Yeah, they keep saying it to Tom Hanks, and he's like, I don't like that. There's someone, he's like an 1870s settler who's like, show us the Pizzagate tapes, Tom Hanks. I don't believe in that stuff. Let me get this girl back to safety.

So this guy who owns a buffalo company, so they're out hunting buffalo. He's basically a tycoon in this town where he controls everything. He's the head of the thing. And he's like, when they get Tom Hanks and the girl, he asks Tom Hanks to read the news. Tom Hanks tells him what his job is, and he's like, here, read this news. And it's just about how great the guy is. It's like his own newspaper that he writes,

and he wants to tell all the townspeople how great he is, so he gives it to Tom Hanks. And then inexplicably, Tom Hanks refuses to read it and is just like, how about this story instead? And it's like a workers' union strike in Pennsylvania. It's the news he reads to the workers, who, of course, immediately break into a riot after one minute of hearing this.

And the guy who's running the place is like, well, I just paid you to read the news that I gave you. Just read that. And he's like, I don't think so, Mr. Farley. And the guy's like, what the fuck are you doing? Why are you fucking my shit up? For no reason. Just being a dick. Just for no reason.

Yeah. And then they, you know, they escape. They kill the guy. They kill Farley. Damn. It's great. So they eat the rich. They eat the rich also.

And then they're like, let's free the workers. Yeah. That is a funny, yeah. The workers are black too. Yeah. Which is fun. Did you hear Billy Tuck? The only minorities in the movie are the workers for the Buffalo guy

that Tom Hanks riles up into probably a riot that got suppressed violently. Yeah, dude. I mean, that's just a sick elite white fantasy dude of like rowing around town. Champion the poor. Obviously, they're like, what are poor white people up to? They're trying to rape little girls and shit. elite white fantasy dude of like rowing around town poor it's like yeah have obviously like what are poor white people up to trying to rape little girls and shit and like we gotta go you know like going like free like my no oppressed minority workers it's like it's getting weird

dude that's what uh bummer i was excited about the movie did billy tell you about the anderson cooper thing that happened no how anderson anderson came out was like and these losers that stormed the capital probably laughed about it in their crappy hotels like uh what he named what the fuck was the hotel holiday inn he's like they're like they're at their holiday inn eating at their olive garden and he had to come out and apologize because you know he he basically looped two big corporations into like poor white kind of fuck their identity yeah first of all like made fun of poor people yeah it was about that yeah and then like implicated two corporations make these are for white trash well that's what everybody does when they're allowed to do it yeah

so if you're making you can make fun of the poor if you know socially you're allowed to yeah like if you're allowed to make fun of poor you're allowed to make fun of poor white people you can go on and be like fucking eating at the olive garden trash pieces of shit like their little their little hatred comes out when like that lady got shot by in the capitol yeah and everybody was so happy to be like broke the law you get shot that's what happens it's like whoa dude that's a weird precedent to all of a sudden believe in yeah man yeah once you're allowed to be like good i'm glad they fucking shot him i wish they shot everybody down there it's like whoa that's a weird fucking way to feel yeah just about ever yeah then you're my dad in 1992 talking about the middle east like they should bomb that whole fucking place in the glass but yeah that was uh it is funny how they

when they love the workers and then they're like who like no the workers are poor and they're like what? Yeah, there's poor what white ones Yeah, a lot of you have a lot of the pool the poor workers tend to have some pretty wild ideas that you guys Yeah, pretty upset about dude. Oh, we just touch feet the Whoa, what are you feet doing over here? I was just kicked back and comfortable. You just make me feel comfortable, dude. Whoa! Is that glow in the dark?

No, don't worry about it, bro. Don't worry about what I'm up to over here, bro. Where'd you get that? Don't worry about it. It's glow in the dark. Dude, you gotta charge that up in the sun. I got hammered.

I got hammered, and I was watching Three 6 Mafia videos. And I forgot I ordered this. And then I got to mail a package, and I opened it, and I was like, oh, my God. You have to start doing a drunk QVC show, dude, where you just get hammered and browse the internet. I literally checked my Amazon search after it, and it was Juicy J T-shirt. This is it. You may recognize this from the Stay Fly music video.

Hell, yeah, dude. Yes. That's also sick to write a song about staying fly. Like right we got to show how fly we are and it's like all right i'm gonna get my skull shirt i'm also very very unironically dressing completely like a wicker now dude just a hundred percent not changing the way i talk or act or anything different. Just the uniform I'm wearing is crazier by the day. I don't know what's happening. No, you need to.

I don't know what's happening. Do you have access to first down apparel? I can get it. Yeah. It's huge. I've been wearing this. I wore this into Wawa today. Hell yeah, dude. I was just standing there and I was like, I bet people are looking at me like...

Which Wawa? Aramango. Oh, dude, no way. People are probably like, nice. This was perfect attire for... Yeah. This is it. You were in Kensington proper with a possibly glow-in-the-dark skull shirt.

People are probably like, whoo. Yeah. That's like what camouflage is to Harrisburg or Mechanicsville. That's pretty much Kensington camouflage, dude. This is what it's about. Anyway, I knew you'd be excited about this shirt. I'm very excited. Yeah.

This is big. This is big for us. Mustache. That's a good... I think that's an appropriate move. Yeah. To just deck yourself out in that gear and just be like, and anyway another

yeah and here's what i don't like about the media yeah yeah yeah coop had to apologize dude he came out and was uh he trashed the poor there was another i saw something on social media too like someone was badgering trumpites or whatever trumpians whatever they call them and they uh like why do all these guys who love trump drive white vans and it's like because they're working they're working they have a fucking they have jobs that most people don't want to loving the workers and being like who's idiots well it's like dude you ever been on a job site they fucking love that shit billy got pulled over recently and the cop billy got pulled over recently and the cop was like, what, were you trying to storm the Capitol?

Ha ha, like joking. Yeah, dude. The cop did? Yeah, just fucking around. Just fucking racial profiling. For real, dude. For real. How dare they profile?

That's fucked up, dude. He looked at Billy and said, damn, that cop nailed that one. Yeah, dude. That cop was exactly right. But yeah, man. War Mode left their notebook up here. That's what this is.

I know, dude. Tell us. Just read one of the notes. This is what they're going to cover in their show. Pizzagate never been debunked. Also, on the bottom of it, the other side is Pizzagate as well. Yeah. This is good stuff. Wikileaks never made up an email how about that i can get behind that uh yeah i can't listen to too much war motor they start making a lot of sense i've been yeah i've been i've been in

solitary dude ever since i had COVID-19. Yeah. Yeah, dude, I'm happy you're here, dude. That sucked. Yeah, me too. Life without you, man. I know. I know.

I was listening to you on other podcasts, just walking around in New York. Man, I miss my friends. Baby was out there, dude. Yeah. Baby was out there. I was running around, too, all week, dude. What were you doing? Just doing podcasts, dude. Hanging out with other guys? Just being a podcast whore, dude. Yeah. Disgusting. Just going on and doing podcasts around Sioux all week, dude. What were you doing? Just doing podcasts. Hanging out with other guys?

Just being a podcast whore, dude. Yeah. Disgusting. Just being a slut, dude. Yeah. That was my college years. Disgusting. Dude, you know that sluts aren't making enough right now, and they're pissed.

Sluts are not making enough money? Yo, did you see 140,000 people lost their jobs in December, and they were all women? What? Yeah. Is that where that stat came from? Yes. And it's just the Yeah. Is that where that stat came from? Yes. And it's just the most misleading way to present that stat. Because I saw they were talking about how now pretty much only women lose their jobs.

They have to be sluts now. That was the article being like women are losing their jobs, and they have to do OnlyFans, but now there's so many sluts on OnlyFans, it's not worth any money now. So now that, like, it's funny. Well, you kind of think about it. It's kind of like one of those economic things where it's like if you take away all the taboo around, like, you know, sticking pens up your butt on the Internet,

suddenly it's not that valuable of a service. So, you know, so we want, it's good that we're all very sex positive now, but now you can't get, like, $200 an hour for just like quaking and like peeing on your sheets or whatever people are up to. Yeah, that sucks. It got saturated a little. I don't want to see the sluts in poverty.

That was like the gold rush. Yeah. Just that rush of women settlers to be sluts. Yeah, dude. It was like there's gold paving the streets out here and only dude that must have been so because it's got to suck when you're a girl you're like all right like you're looking at jobs you're like 14 44 an hour part-time no benefits and you're like i could make two hundred thousand dollars a year showing my pussy nope nope nope nope can't do that

that's yeah it's wrong and then they're like no dude just set up a little thing dude i i wouldn't be able to not do that um although i would i would say just you know i don't want to would you consider masturbating on only fans if i was a girl yes not as a guy yeah as a boy no i couldn't do that as a man really not as the man in the house what do you have to say they have dude only fans you can have an only fan oh i know that lamar's called gay porn dude dude. Yeah, La Mer. Ever heard of it? What are you, not gay, dude? It's dudes who fuck women. It's like dudes who fuck women.

Yeah, and girls are just like spending a bunch of money watching this? La Mer, don't kid yourself. No, not really. Not enough to support me financially, bro. Women love to lie about watching porn. Yeah, trust me. Trust me. Only the biggest whores watch porn. Yeah. Trust me. Trust me. Only the biggest whores watch porn.

If you're a girl who watches porn, do yourself a kindness and cut that out. Oh, for sure. Disgusting. Knock it off, dude. Disgusting. See what happens if you're a whore?

You'll become poor. Yep. Your boss probably knows you want to do OnlyFans, fires you. You're over there like, I don't want to do this. I get in there.

Okay. Your boss says, I don't like the values you're bringing into OnlyFans, fires you. You're over there like, I don't want to do this. I get in there. Okay. Your boss says, I don't like the values you're bringing into this place. Yeah, disgusting. I feel like you want to shove something up your butt on camera. Every day I look at you. I see you eyeing objects in the office. I know you're scanning. Yeah.

Damn, that's so funny of a girl just being like, damn, I think I'm going to lose this job. And taking bathroom breaks and just stretching themselves, just fucking fisting. They're like, I'm almost there. I just got to hold this down for another week. Yeah, but apparently they're not making a lot of money as much as they thought. So now they've just put stuff out about themselves online, and it's not paying off.

Welcome to podcasting. Yeah, true. Welcome to podcasting. Yeah, it can backfire. But I think probably the December thing was a lot of women are in the service industry. And then once it got cold out, a bunch of businesses had to shut down. Yeah. Right?

Isn't that pretty simple? Yeah, probably. Although there's a lot of nurses. True. A lot of businesses booming. They're crushing it right now. I mean, they're not just over time, hero status. Dying.

Are they dying? Are the nurses dying? I think the nurses are toughing it out. I think they're fine, yeah. Yeah. I think they're getting a little sickly. They might get sickly. They're getting sickly.

I think there was a doctor who died. He got the COVID vaccine and instantly died. From the vaccine he died? Well, so the companies are like, that's you know it could have been anything and the wife's like he was very healthy and took that and died a week later so his wife's being like it's funny when it's the vaccine they're like it could have been anything yeah meanwhile if he would have died of just covid they'd be like it was covered 100 you gotta watch out yeah yeah man but yeah so he uh yeah he he died like a week afterwards. But the wife is being, I mean, then again, it's like, bro,

I don't think you can sue vaccine, like drug companies for vaccines specifically. I think that was one of the things they did with Operation Warp Speed. Really? Was make sure that you couldn't get sued. For? For what they're putting out. I believe. Pretty tight.

I could be wrong. Because that's why vaccines, I mean, not just the science, obviously, take like decades to get done. Yeah. There's also like, it's a liability. Yeah. And I think with this, Trump dog was like, nah, dude. Fired up. Fired up.

Fired up. Yeah, I wonder if he got paid. Trump dog? Yeah. You just have to assume yes. You have to, man. If you're the president, there's not like, dude, you could, it's within your hands to man if you're the president there's not like dude you could it's within your hands to be like not that one yeah he also freed wheezy yesterday

freed wheezy lowane for what wayne got a presidential pardon for what i forget what i don't even know what the crime was but what's uh is this from when he had the gun on the bus i don't know i could have sworn he already went to jail for that. He did. That was like 10 years ago. Trump expunged his record? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's probably what it was. What happened?

I think it was a felony. So you're a felony forever, right? Yeah. You're a felon forever. Damn, Trump gave Lil Wayne guns? Yes. Oh, wait. So Lil Wayne couldn't even vote?

No. Wait, what? Technically, no. So his endorsement was just like, get? Technically, no. So his endorsement was just like, get out there, y'all. Yeah. Yeah, Lil Wayne can legally own a shotgun, but I think that's about it. Nice. Yeah.

Dude, if Trump goes around and starts expunging rappers' records, that would be pretty cool. He freed A$AP Rocky from Sweden. I mean, that was a mean that was got no love in return from asap and as an asap rocky fan i'm a little bummed yeah i burnt all my asap rocky merch i said that's not my rapper uh dude the uh you know what i i don't know where i got this thought of the other day but i for some reason i started thinking about myself at uh family parties when i was little and like my interactions like specifically with like uncles and like older just of the other day but for some reason i started thinking about myself at uh family parties when i was little and like my interactions like specifically with like uncles and like older

just dudes i would see at like a christmas like a christening party it was like from the ages of like seven to about 15 i would just like at a party get randomly accosted by a guy like come here and like kind of threaten to kick in my ass all the time always just grab me like kick your little ass dude yeah it was. I would just bounce between men and be like, oh, beat your ass. Then I would like run from that and then just like gorge myself

on meatballs and be like. That's exactly what it is. Just sit in a corner and be like. Yeah, it hurt. They would pick you up in like noogies, like hard noogies

and like pinches and shit. They would shake hands and crush my hand. Oh, they always crush my hand. Crush my hand, grab me, hit me, and then it would just like do, do, do,

come here, you little shit, I'm going to kick your ass. Which is funny, because that's exactly what I do now to my nieces and nephews. That's what made me think about it. A hundred percent. I'm like, come here.

That's what made me think about it. Scare them. I was at Butterly's house, and I think it was like, instinctually, I saw one of his younger kid, and I was like, what's up, dude?

You want to rough him up? Yeah, I was like, what's up, bro? And gave him one of those, and I'm like, that was weird. Where did I learn that? I was like, oh yeah,

I just instantly flashed back to all my uncles being like, come here, dude. I think you're cool, I think you're tough. Yeah, and i'm like that was weird where did i learn that i was like oh yeah that's it i just instantly flashed back yeah all my uncles being like come here dude think you're cool think you're tough yeah and i'm like sometimes they'd make me cry and the uncle would be like ah he's being a pussy hit you with one of these just like just digging in your arm it was nothing but the craziest fucking moves dude yeah and i it was like as soon as i like because i think like butterly saw me like, come here, bro, like hitting him with fucking like just, I was just like flexing at a kid. And I'm like, why am I doing this? I was like, I just started to think about it. I'm like, damn, dude, all I had was just dudes flexing in my face.

Like, fuck you up, dude. You fucking girl. And I was just like, fuck, dude. Yeah. Do you have a girlfriend yet? No, didn't think so. I was like, what the fuck, man? Aren't you divorced? Shut the fuck man aren't you divorced shut the fuck up dude i'll just be like above a fire hall with like dude smoking cigarettes like a

with a red face from pounding beers like you fucking bitch my mom had one cousin who would only talk like the nightcrawler like oh yeah oh man you hit me with that i'm the nightcrawler or he would say he was he was macho man he would say he was the nightcrawler but yeah i guess he was doing it what how does the nightcrawler talk oh wait nightcrawler i'm sorry i thought you were referencing night stalker he would try to tell me no no he was like i'm the devil oh yeah oh yeah i'm coming here to kill i've got a got a hammer. I'm going to kill your grandma. Yeah. Dude, he was raping those geezers, too. The night soccer.

Jesus, dude. He would come in and fuck like a night. Fuck. And then when you're watching this documentary, it shows you their ages. It goes by the victims and the ages. Yeah. And it'll be like, you'll see a name, and then underneath it'll be like 88.

And it's like, holy shit, dude. 88. So you lived 88 years. And then in the 88th year, a guy breaks into your house. I thought you were saying he had 88 victims. Oh, he had a ton of fucking victims. Especially like people he just attacked and survived. It was crazy.

Also, to be the mortician where it's like, yeah, 88 died. It's like, no problem. It's like some dude dumped a load in her and murdered her before you're like oh what yeah it's like yeah there's a guy going around just fucking coming in old people and smashing their heads in it's like morticians like dude i got lunch in like a half and i gotta fucking like no you don't you don't have lunch there's a guy oh dude imagine there's a guy who that was his job he had had to like. Collective geezers. Clean.

Yeah, he had to like clean these old ladies. Weren't we just talking about this? Like the family has to clean it. What? When someone gets murdered or commits suicide. Really? The police and EMT don't clean. Oh, they clean the apartment.

Yeah, for sure. So like all these people's like grandkids. Yeah. Dude, if I had to go help my grandma move before she died, and I was pissed. Yeah. Yeah, dude. If I had to clean – If I had to go clean up her raped remains.

Oh, my – no. They take – the police take the bodies. Of course. I know. But you – I mean – Well, sometimes there's just a lot of gunk lying around. Oh, for sure. I would hope – I mean, that's got to be a brutal call.

Again, for the – I mean, not only is it brutal to kill people, obviously, and rape older people, but think about the cleaning lady then. You say the family has the means to be like, I'm calling a cleaning lady. And the cleaning lady is like, yeah, I'll do the job. The house, $150. And you're on there like, anything. Anything in there, you're going to clean it, right? Yeah. Yeah, of course.

You promise? I'm going to need this in writing. Yeah, fine. Yeah. I mean, I guess you had to order. It's a crime scene. Or you call the cleaning lady and you're like, well, funny story. Yeah, my wife and I got shot in the head last night.

We need someone to come in here and clean this fucking mess. Or, yeah, if you don't have the money, then, like, yeah, you would send in your kids and be like, you got to go clean grandmom's place. And, like, why did that guy go in there and rape and murder her? Well, honey, the universe is evil. It's, you know, sometimes there's people out there. Yeah. It's a tough birds and the bees.

Oh yeah. It's like a seven year old be like, Nana got murdered. It's like, wait, did he love, I thought people love. It's like, this is different. He did not love her at all. Yeah. It's like, I thought that's what people do. They love each other.

They love each other. They love each other. They love each other. They love each other. They love each other. They love each other. They love each other. Sometimes if you hate somebody enough, weirdly.'ll do that too but let's not wait till

you get older to explain this sometimes when a mommy and daddy hate each other a lot daddy breaks in through a window and you know lays waste to mommy with a hammer maybe you know i don't know but maybe after it i don't know what he does after that maybe he sneaks one in but son sometimes you gotta sneak one in sorry yeah that's a hellish talk is that included in birds i wonder if the birds and bees talk now includes now it's birds and birds birds and bees and birds there's bees who pretend to be birds that like bees there's a bunch of them well it's also like when a man and a woman love each other very much and also check that they're both very comfortable with the surroundings going on you might start

the man might start just by like grabbing her boobs and being like is this okay is this fine that's fucking hot dude i actually like to make out grab boobs i like i like making out and gradually being like is this acceptable is this acceptable i think it's hot i don't know what so do you hover the hand like an inch i do that what if i did this yeah because i think yeah i don't think you can like grab and like is it cool that I'm grabbing your vagina I think you have to be like put your vagina put your hands near there and be like would it be acceptable if I were to touch your vagina well we kind of always have done that when you like start to go down on a girl like when you go to finger them yeah if it's like

you're hooking up with someone they grab your hand if they don't want it exactly it's very simple yeah that was it now it hasn't happened in a while. Yeah, I was about to say. But when you're young, that happened. Yeah. You know? You work your way down. You make out.

I'm telling you, we figure this out with bases. You make out. Mm-hmm. You grab boob over the shirt. You start to grab boob over the shirt. If you get smacked from boob over the shirt. Exactly. Everything else obviously helps me.

Now it's just kissing. No chicks in a big. Don't touch my boobs. Don't touch my boobs. Eat my pussy. It's like, you know it's like you gotta go through that's where the bases are established

exactly but you know but you know the fucking communists destroyed the bases destroyed fingering now you have to you know

but it's I think it's pretty cool to be like do you mind if I eat your ass just straight make out and be like what makes you think that's the only way

to eat your ass ma'am um but I think you should start Fifty Shades of Grey and dude, sex menus on first dates be like, would you be opposed to this? Would you be opposed to me coming quickly? Yeah.

Coming on your belly and using the towel that's hanging on my door. And then snoring in your face for seven hours. Alright, how about anal fisting? Yeah. But I'm not.

Yeah, that's. We have fun here. It's going to be fun, man. I think this new era will be. It'll be very fun. This is my prediction. Watching people get disenfranchised within the corporately led political system. Because now everyone's all in. Everyone's just like, yeah, the government fucking rules, dude.

You know, we were with Bush. Everyone is kind of off the government fucking rules dude that you know we were with bush everyone was kind of off the government bandwagon but we're back on big time we're just like tell us what to do we will do it and it'll be funny to watch us all lose collective faith and you know what was essentially propaganda again and be like hey i think these guys are up to something then immediately big wait what what's going on something's out to get us just tell us what to do we'll stop being bad please please please yeah be fun to watch you know yeah i agree with that i think that'll happen for sure dude i'll definitely have just cycles man who do you think's gonna be the next bad guy i think muslims could make a comeback uh now that they're gonna milk well obviously white

supremacists yeah they're gonna white supremacists will be for a while getting us for a while ultra right-wing militias that'll be be, yeah, you're right. Be fun to see. I wonder what their hideouts look like. We saw the caves. They got a false flag at an abortion clinic bombing here shortly.

You think so? I think we need a good false flag at that coming up. Abortion clinic bombing. Yeah, we haven't had those since the 90s back when right-wing...

Did we have those? Yeah. Right? That was a big thing, I thought. That's counterproductive. You're like, hey, i thought that's counterproductive you're like hey don't kill those kids and you're like we can blow them up stop murdering hey abortions murder watch out yeah yeah yeah i i think we'll have yeah we'll have some uh i don't know that they're

gonna fire up the you know radical you know but then again that's i think that's up to the uh you know the isis people man it's got to be kind of you know at some point you know, but then again, that's, I think that's up to the, uh, you know, the ISIS people, man, it's gotta be kind of, you know, at some point they gotta be like, what's this? They think,

they think those like white dudes are like, they think like the white guys are killing it. Yeah. Show them what we're all about. I think ISIS is, I don't know though. Cause I'll tell you what, dude,

I've been seeing some ISIS videos lately and they're the old ones. I think they're the classics, but I never really watched them. Tommy watches fucked up videos. Yeah. Like death videos. Does he? Yes.

And every once in a while, I'll be like, yo, throw one on. Yeah. And I don't watch. We'll toss up a request. Yeah. I'll be like, screen here. There's a compilation on this website. I forget what the fuck the website is.

It's really fucked up. And it's a compilation of horrible death videos. Yeah. And they're bad. I can't watch them. No, yeah. I'm always like, yo, throw those on, and it's a compilation of horrible death videos. Yeah. And they're bad. I can't watch them. No, yeah. I'm always like, yo, throw those on, and then I just go like this. I'm like, ooh, what is it?

He can take them? And I'll look up and just be like, oh, my God, dude, turn it off. So he can take them. He can take them. He sits there and goes, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, it's terrifying. Yeah. And I made O'Connor and him watch.

I made him throw one on for O'Connor. O'Connor got through it. Really? Pretty well. I literally see the first one, O'Connor. O'Connor got through it. Really? Pretty well. I literally see the first one and I'm like, all right, fuck. I used to be able to watch those, zero problem. Really? Yeah.

I'm too sensitive of a soul, dude. And now it's terrible. I can't see those things. And I've been thinking about it, and I think you'll agree with me on this. Yeah. That type of, it's on par with, not on par with, but it's the closest thing to child porn. When it comes to things we shouldn't be watching. Horrific murders on camera.

It's next on the list. Are horrible. Yeah, it's pretty bad. You shouldn't be watching it. I think so. I think it's pretty bad. It's a terrible thing. It's a sin.

Also, what's it doing to your mind, dude? It's doing wild shit to your mind. Yeah, it has to fuck your brain up yeah that's why i think i stopped watching them like six years ago maybe big bills four years big bill claims to be able to handle all that shit of like when people like mutilate their own genitals and shit this one's bad dude these compilations are like people getting stabbed oh but like when you get stabbed, you roll around and are like trying to get stopped. Yeah, it's horrible, dude. It's crazy. Ugh.

Yeah, I think that's... A lot of fire ones. A lot of dudes like walking around on fire in like crowds where everyone's like, get away. Just some guy on fire like, ugh. It's terrible.

Yeah, man. I think that's a fair assessment of the situation. Yeah, that's an argument I's a fair assessment of the situation. Yeah, that's an argument I've been trying to, after I tell him to put it on, I'm like, turn this off, you're evil for this. Well, you're just making sure, you want to see. You're Chris Hansen.

In this situation, you're Chris Hansen. I try to get O'Connor on my side. Yeah, just call the FBI. He could handle it. He could handle it pretty well. Can he take the heat? He could take it. I'm the only one that can't.

Damn. They can handle it. I mean, dude, that's a... Dude, one of them was a guy stabbing himself in the stomach and then jumping out of a window. Oh. Yeah, anyway. Anyway.

Damn. The boys are chanting. That's what's going on. I was trying to watch the Flyers game. And you're like, just toss this on just to see. Yeah, and then, yeah, intermission, first and second. It was like, let's watch some... Let's watch some death videos.

Let's watch some ISIS beheadings. Oh, they're terrible. Yeah, it's awful, man.mission, first and second. It was like, let's watch some... Let's watch some death videos. Let's watch some ISIS beheadings. Oh, they're terrible. Yeah, it's awful, man. Anyway, sorry about that. No, no, no, no. Yeah, a lot of death and carnage going on in the house. Night Stalker was on. Yeah, I'm watching Daredevil.

That was scary. You're watching nice... Terrifying, dude. Daredevil is scary as hell, dude. Daredevil is very spooky, I agree. Dude, are you kidding me? But then I got into a 3-6 Mafia video kick. Was this when you guys fell off the wagon?

No, this was in the end of December. Oh, way back when. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. But I did just fall off the wagon this weekend. Was that from where the shirt came from? This is where I... I'll tell you what. The shirt was ready to go in the garbage upon arrival. What? Right when I got it,

I was like, all right i gotta throw this fucking trash out what when i fell off the wagon this weekend that's when i gained the courage to break it out and wear it and you know what it got some decent reviews yeah dude and saw i'm keeping it yeah you made a bold fashion statement a lot of people are excited about it i'm i'm absolutely i couldn't be more excited yeah how's it look, dude? It's probably popping on YouTube. It's popping, dude. It probably looks really good on YouTube. It's popping, dude.

Had to put the snow hat on with it. I mean, dude, you've been at a bit of a fashion crossroads for a minute. It's hard. As a 30-year-old something young man, it's hard to know what to wear. You have to make a choice at some point. Either you just go the safe route, under armor up, get a nice under armor polo, tuck it in, just clutch a choice at some point. Yeah. Either you just, you know, go the safe route, underarm her up. Yeah. Get a nice underarm her polo, tuck it in, just, you know, clutch a beard to your chest.

I've been sticking to tracksuits. Tracksuits are nice. Sweatpants and tracksuits. I mean, there's also the option of going suit. Suit is. Just barn dogging out and just getting suited, dude. Yeah. He was dressing hot for a minute.

I don't like that. Just suit up. Suit up. Or you just start. You can really. Honestly, it's pretty tight to know as an for a minute. I don't like that. Just suit up. Suit up. Or you could just start. You could really. Honestly, it's pretty tight to Noah as an adult. Noah. Look at Noah today.

Noah got a haircut, bro. He looks hot as fuck. Noah, look at his outfit with the jacket. Yeah. Noah looks cool. LaMare got a new t-shirt. I know that's a new shirt. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I can tell when you wear a new shirt. Why'd you get that shirt? What is that? It says Ballsy? It's a pro wrestler named Shotzi Blackheart. Yeah, all right.

Yeah. You're wearing a female wrestler's merch? Yeah. She's the best. Cut that mic, please. Yeah, dude. That's not good. You're going to...

I'm just saving you, LeMare. I'm telling you, the world's going to be so shocked when they finally get Black Dorks. True. They're just going to be like, We thought you, LaMare. I'm telling you, the world's going to be so shocked when they finally get Black Dorks. True. They're just going to be like, we thought you guys were the coolest. What the hell is this? They're not ready for that voice. True. The world's not ready for the Black Dork voice.

And it's coming. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, I do feel like the Black Nerd needs to be more unleashed. Mm-hmm. I feel like, yeah, for sure. It's a powerful nerd. it's not the black powerful nerd not the black nerd they try to portray it as it's not like the smart like neil degrasse the black the black nerd is very much the white nerd innocent for the same free neil degrasse

they're the same man it's anime yeah it's wrestling it's fucking smash brothers super smash brothers those types of games. Street Fighter Pizza Rolls. Street Fighter Pizza Rolls. Street Fighter Pizza Rolls. On the day after Martin Luther King Day, we're getting... That's what I'm talking about. Street Fighter Pizza Rolls.

The dream has been realized. 100%, dude. Welcome to the brotherhood. You just wanted some Marvel vs. Street fighter pizza rolls. The dream has been realized. 100%, dude. Welcome to the brotherhood. That's all he wanted. He just wanted some Marvel vs. Capcom, dude. That's all. For the boys.

That's all MLK wanted. And why can't we enjoy pizza rolls? One day, I will live to see Blanca fight the Punisher. I will enjoy Spongebob into my adulthood.

Dude, I remember when I got the FBI tapes on the articles about how much pussy that guy was getting. Just being like, what? Yeah. He was fucking... He rules. They claim to have him on tape. J. Edgar was a real daredevil.

He was like, I'll remain in the dark and no one will know. No one will know how cool I am. This guy's having so much sex and he acts like he's a really good guy, but he's actually having a lot of sex. I'm not going gonna fucking tell everybody oh sir he got pussy again and they're like i knew it you son of a bitch god damn it he keeps

getting pussy son of a bitch fuck this guy can't stop getting pussy damn dude that would make jay edgar would have been uh who was the guy the fucking kingpin dude who was the guy, the fucking kingpin, dude? Who was the dude from the Green Mile? Oh, yeah. That was the kingpin. So at the end of the movie, I don't want to spoil it, but he gets like his knees broken and falls. And I was like, as soon as it happened, I'm like, damn, Britt, that was the same noise he made when someone squeezed that mouse.

Oh, that was bad. Someone squeezed that mouse. They squeezed that. It was the same fucking noise. Dude, it's funny. Watching him play a bad guy is, like, pretty funny, man. Yeah. It's hilarious. R.I.P., by the way.

Oh, yeah. That's what Bernie said. He was dead. I was like, fuck. R.I.P. No, that was nice, though. They had a black kingpin. Yeah, dude.

It's good. He was huge. I think it's unfair that black guys can't be bad guys anymore. True. It's guys anymore. True. It's fucking crazy. True, that sucks. It's not fair. Well, they had a...

I'm trying to think. It was almost like that. Seeing you nod there, it was almost like that revelation. I remember I was doing shows. It was one of Keith from Up the Block shows. It was one of those movie theater shows. And a black comic was complaining about slave movies. And I remember sitting there and just being like,

wait, you guys don't like these either? And they're like, fuck no. Every movie we're a fucking pussy victim. Yeah, dude. And I'm like, how do you think we fuck it? These things suck. Yeah, dude, for sure. It's like, who is this for then?

White guilt. It's just white people being like, oh my God, look at this. Look at this. It's so bad. We were so bad. Dude, the goal right now is to get enough money where I could hire Meryl Streep, Tom Hanks, and then write a movie that would require them. Meryl Streep would play a Native American.

Tom Hanks would just play a super racist Southern dude and just have a movie that just goes nowhere but forces celebrities to sell their own values. I would name the price. That's what Tarantino was doing with DiCaprio. He made him say the N-word a million times. I just want to go to the most virtuous celebrities and then write the most horrible movie. Just think of horrible things for them to say and do

and to see what their price is and just be like, here you go. You could enough you can secure the bag tom hanks would put the patch on dude he would slap the swallow and fully be like yeah i watched play it this summer tom hanks as a black nazi is a nazi tom hanks in blackface as a nazi and he's just like he wins an an Oscar for it. I'd like to see your papers just going around hassling people. I forgot how good fucking Ricky Gervais' Golden Globes were. You ever see that?

Oh, it was awesome. Dude, he has a joke in there. He's like talking about, I forget what the fuck the movie is. Oh, Bird Box. He's like, the movie Bird Box came out this year where you have to ignore your surroundings in order to survive kind of like working with harvey weinstein and everyone in there was like oh he's like don't fucking you did it not me all of you did it yeah man fuck off it was like it's a damn this is actually really good dude that this summer starring meryl street as a chinese immigrant. No. Yeah, I like that.

But yeah, dude, they... Yeah, dude, Ricky Gervais... Gervais ruled on this. Body bagged the fucking Oscars. Yeah, every time. You don't hear about it anymore. No. They were good. They were good.

Good stuff. Yeah, man. I mean, this is a battle we're fighting. Yeah. We're going to let the corporate-led revolution play out. It'll be people be like what's that nabisco you got my back nice oreos while i take it to the streets yeah dude whenever i take it to the streets and revolutions i'm so happy that like internet providers have sony yeah like i'm like oh no it's 5g yeah apparently apparently we're getting some 5G. Apparently it's coming.

I draw the line at 4. Really? I'm a 4G guy. 5? This is too powerful and dangerous. They're trying to say 5's coming, dude. I think 5's here. Yeah, I don't know if we're like...

Let me check myself. I think I get very happy when I see 5G on my phone. I only have LTE. I don't even know what that is. What's LTE? I don't know, dude. All I have is LTE right now. I got the Wi-Fi, bro.

Do you really? You don't have the Wi-Fi? No, I'm not. I have unlimited data, so I stick it to my Verizon. I just rock on data as hard as I can. Really? Yeah, I use up as much data as I can. Do you get decent?

I don't get enough service for that. Sometimes my service is crud. Really? Yeah, especially in my apartment. Every once in a while, the internet goes down when I'm trying to visit adult websites. Really? You're just doing

what the governor told you to do. Visiting adult websites? Yeah. Yes. That's what the governor of Pennsylvania was like. Yes.

He's like, just please go on OnlyFans. Also watched, this is a good episode, just things I watched. Also watched, re-watched Love on the Spectrum.

It still rules. Who was underrated? Mark. Oh, yeah. Mark was the most underrated. I mean, Kelvin, incredible. I don't know, man. Kelvin is a star.

The point when he brings up the anime drawing that he had of tits and stuff, and he's like, okay, that's enough. And they're like, do you want us to leave? He's like, yes, please, thank you. Clearly, he's just like, he clearly got horny. And he's like, you, that's enough. And they're like, do you want us to leave? He's like, yes, please, thank you. He's like, clearly, he's just like, he clearly got horny. And he's like, you have to leave now, please. Dude, I mean, I, at least once a week,

while I'm showering, go, I'm waiting patiently. And I laugh to myself, at least once a week. I am waiting patiently? I do it once a week, or if I'm just like, be like, what's for dinner? Brittany will be like, oh, I think I'm gonna do this. I'm like, I'll wait patiently. And she's she's like would you go away from me you fucking weirdo oh man what do boyfriends and girlfriends do uh dad's like hugs and kisses and she's like do you

want to do hugs and kisses yes very much yes oh but mark mark, Mark always, Mark sits down and tells you about the weather. That's step one. He sits down and he goes, I mean, what a lovely day to sit here with some friends. And he's like, it's just like mother nature is giving you a big hug. And he was on a date with an autistic girl who was like, yeah, she wasn't. It's like, wow. He goes on that pussy date with his autistic girl who was like, yeah. She wasn't good. He's like, wow. He goes on that pussy date

with his boy to talk pussy. You remember that? Mark sits down. Oh, yeah. And his boy goes to a coffee shop and he's like, so how are the dating sites for you? And he's like,

not good. And he's like, oh, you'll find the one. She's out there. I believe that. Mark's the fucking man. Yeah, he rules, dude. Yeah.

Mark fucking rules rules they're all great warriors dude the one guy i i got kind of they dick tease me on the first guy who was like and i will find my queen michael michael dude that was like i thought that was just about her yeah that uh lady he loved who died that lady just died what the gilligan's island lady you remember the guy she guy he was like he jizzed to meet? He brought I mean dude

first of all He brought a date to show his dream girl. Brought a date to his dream girl. Decent date by the way. Yeah dude. Dude.

Things were going well there. I thought things were going well and then they split up at the Comic Con and I was like that's tough. Yeah exactly. They had things to do.

They both actually had things to do. Yeah that's tough. Going to Comic Con isn't like time to fuck around. No, not at all. It's time to like, you get the things done you need to get done. Yeah, basically.

Because there's no way you're going to sit there and like pretend to go. Like the girl was never going to be able to sit in line at Gilligan's Island. No. When there's a fucking Venom, a guy dressed as Venom walking around. Yeah, that's like Home Depot for autistic people. It's like as practical. You're like, well, I've got to go in there. I've got to see Batman.

Well, I'm going to – yeah. I'm going to have to check that out. I don't know if we're going to have enough time for this. Yeah. It's like, okay, we'll split up. We'll meet back at the Hello Kitty. Yeah. That date's over, dude.

Yeah. So, dude, here's something. This might scare you, but if someone hit me to a remote viewing app. So I'm in a tournament right now. You know what remote viewing is? No. Remember the one time I told you I was on the elliptical and I was trying to view where you were and what you were doing? So if I'm not at a place to be able to try to visualize what's going on there, like what's contained there. Yeah. It's called remote viewing.

It's a skill. That was the day. I don't know if you remember. Yeah. I hit you at the time and you said I was in your dreams, which I might've just been, you know, no,

I remember that I might've gone beyond remote viewing. Yes, dude. So I've been doing this app and I've been, you haven't even tried to remove you in any sense, but whatever. I was telling Brittany about it the other day. I was like,

I've tried to pull the boy up a couple of times. I try to pull you up. I bet you could remove it the other day. I was like, I've tried to pull the boy up a couple times. You tried to remove you? It's pretty easy. I tried to pull you up. I bet you could remove you very easily. Sitting here going. Or watching, you know, memes. Dude, I have to give you my results. And I don't want to scare the viewers.

I'm still the same guy I've always been. I'm just psychically capable. Dude, look at this history so it's the thing is how it works so you get remote viewing tournament it's an app on your phone and you get these so it'll just give you a number so you have like a number so you can match it to the image so you write down the number on a little sketch pad and then you predict what you're going to see okay and it flashes you two images and only one of them is the correct one so you have to connect with the version of yourself in the future this is not real what

are you talking about dude i'll let me let me just show you let me show you something dude let me show you my history so what how much of you believes that this is there's something behind this okay let me just i'll show you 100 okay let me show you my history so this is you believe you can predict so and it's not like one to one it's just you can start look so this is my prediction i write down the serial number i just an image i close my you know i slow my mind and just an image comes to me of just a bunch of little circles and then i get a sense that there's green somewhere in the picture so and there's a thing they show you two images sometimes you see the one that's not the one and you get it wrong it's very common so here is the uh here's the outcome dude target image what do you see that's how you pick it so i drew little circles and i thought green

bam it's obviously this thing of rocks with the grass i was correct it's no big deal that's remote viewed it's not a problem dude explain this one all right this is all i don't see any pictures so what's the serial number that you're writing down that's so you can match the image okay cool like so i write down the serial number elephant cobblestone well yeah dude and again you know it's not perfect but check this out what's the image dude fucking elephant dude a fucking elephant so i pick elephant wrong it was actually this one but they said a lot of times you you well what's that other image there for just to kind of help you so they'll show you two i'll give you a cobblestone well on that bridge too that tunnel well the problem is they say you start to see you'll see

both of them but you got to get good enough where you connect yourself to start seeing let me let me try one we'll do it we'll try one for real so then uh i'm getting feedback in 68 minutes on last night so then i did another one this is kind of weird i i was it was things were the beach a bird in sand and then you know i had like a little outer space image a little broad scope i'll say then the image dude fucking what do i say but a motherfucking bird i select it i'm right so i did one you're i'm i'm like a baby remote viewer i still have a lot to learn you can be you're a psychic i have psychic capabilities you know it depends on i obviously i'm not like i can't do telekinesis but but I'm like, dude, fucking elephant. What's the fucking possibility of me predicting a friend? Watch, I'll get one.

All right, we'll play today's round. We should play today's round. We'll do the results in the, not to be a teaser, but play today's round. All you get is a blank pad, bro. Okay. And I just write down what I'm going to say? You can hear. Take this notebook, dude.

I mean, is it fake? And just any words at all? You got to close your eyes and connect with the version of yourself in the future that's going to see the image. Yeah. Get the image for real. I've already connected. I know the answer. Go ahead.

Write it down. Or you can draw. Even if there's little shapes or things, you can draw kind of what you think that is. I don't want to do it i i need like you know you really need to get in kind of a deep meditative state to do this so i don't want to done what you got traffic light blue hell yeah i'm just for the sake of it i promise that's the answer i'm gonna go see in the future. Have you really? Show today's result.

All right, let me see if I can tap into. I don't know why I'm getting a beach ball. I don't think it's correct, but I'm getting some sort of tool in the earth, so I'll draw that there. Tool in the earth, beach ball? This one doesn't count. All right, so did they teach you how to give vague answers? No, not at all.

So they said use your slider. Say how confident are you are you oh they're not going to show me the image actually oh what why not when do you get the image result you get it in like a couple hours my settings are fucked up god damn it hold on it'll it'll show me i think my settings are fucked up so this is what's the name of this app rv tournament okay rv tournament nice it's fucking so it's you versus other clairvoyants so if you get a certain level they'll give you like 10 bucks or so you'll get they'll pay you if you start to they'll pay you the guy who started this he said it's only so far it's only been like slightly over 50 which is to be expected but you can show me any picture right now and that'll hold up because i was channeling me in the future we'll see it depends just do any random result how so

if it has nothing to do with either of these and then you have to select the correct one so it's more so than just chance because you get two images so you can't just be like oh i think i kind of saw that because one of those is fake so i think that's how they do it okay and this guy said he's gotten with like i think like 55 he he's using the people who do the best on this he's been able to predict nasdaq at correctly 55 of the time pretty tight i mean it's it's it's almost i think uh significance and you genuinely dude how the fuck did i know it's gonna be an elephant i literally said elephant pretty weird that is weird it's fucking i'll give

you that and then i did i i just saw like a bird's foot and i was like i don't know like bird you know so it's not perfect and it's not one to one do the elephant one i just kept seeing a blue i just kept seeing a blue sky that's all i was thinking the elephant one fucking spooked me let me change my account because i had see god damn, that's what it was. I need the normal judgment time. I can't believe you didn't foresee this problem. Hey, dude, look. Don't be jealous that I'm psychic, dude. Wait till you see this fucking traffic light. I can't.

With the blue sky. I'm so pissed that I didn't have it so I could reveal it right away. That would have really made my day. I was just thinking of random internet images to always click the traffic light. Oh, like Robo stuff? I'm getting feedback in 62 minutes. I see a bus. I'm getting feedback in 62 minutes i'm getting feedback in 62 minutes all right well we'll find the answer last night i did it while dumping so i was like i wonder how like how bad do you want me to be if i'm right yeah what will that do for you

i'll be pumped honestly well the idea is it's not really like it's just something like if you completely relax your mind there could be states of consciousness that we're just not in touch with so it's like, maybe I could see something. I don't fucking know. I don't put that stuff out of my head. You know, I don't say it's impossible.

Again, dude, fucking elephant, man. How? That's impressive evidence. That's crazy. That's evidence. And you did will yourself into one of my dreams.

I'm just saying. Stop doing that. I might peek it on you. You can't peek on people like that. But I'm telling you, man. The elephant one freaked me out. The bird one last night, I was like, holy shit, that's kind of weird. The circles and the range, I was like, yeah, okay, that's kind of vague.

But still, that was the one I picked. I saw it. Circles and green, I'll give you that one. That's kind of weird. That's fair. I'll even give you the well, the cobblestone well on the elephant one yeah i mean you were close with that kind of fucking stone bridge yeah man um so yeah so either way but uh you know i'm pissed i couldn't show the thing but dude rv tournament's fucking it's just fun to do honestly it's like it comes up on your phone like once a day

so it's a fun thing to do that sounds fun i i'm in i like it i'm excited to see the result i'm trying to get high up on the leaderboards yeah then reveal myself fun i i'm in i like it i'm excited to see the result i'm trying to get high up on the leaderboards yeah then reveal myself be like i'm actually known psychic there's professional known racist psychic dude the cia studied this really yeah the men who stare at goats and all that shit yeah man and there apparently there's someone just hooked me up with uh there was like the someone came up with something that was basically like the training program the cia developed to like get good at remote view. Yeah.

I'm going to try to get nice at it. It's part of my, that's my 2021. It's remote viewing, collecting rocks. Yeah. What are your goals? I listened to the Dad Meet episode you and Wes did. Yeah. It was good.

It was nice. It was motivating. Thanks, dude. Yeah. I like to hear you in that world. I love it, dude. Where people aren't being critical of you and you can speak freely. It pumps me up, dude.

And it's accepted. It's praise. People are like, wow, dude and it's warm it's accepted it's it's praise people like wow dude that's incredible yeah man it's a 2021 vision like man maybe i should maybe be more supportive like right now i'm holding i'm working hard to pretend that i believe you're a psychic i haven't it's funny last night like to be going on a walk and like setting a goal of being like, fucking don't be hard on him if he comes at you with an idea. And then today you present fucking psychic and I got to sit here like.

Dude, explain elephant to me. Wow. If there's a thing that says. Elephant's great. And that's big. That elephant piece of evidence is keeping this alive. You saw me. All I had was the blank page.

I saw it. I seen it. What the fuck am I to make of that? I don't alive. You sold me. All I had was the blank page. I saw it. So. I seen it. What the fuck am I to make of that? I don't know. It's crazy. But. We'll figure it out.

But yeah, dude, the 2021, I'm very, I'm right now, I'm super in a conscious living in terms of like. Yeah, what are your goals? You guys,

I listened to it. Dude. And are they, are they just too personal? No, not at all. All right. Dude. So I listened to,

check out the Dad Meet episode of Matt and Wes on there. And you guys were talking about like setting goals. What type of goals are you talking about? So right now – so you do them in like a bunch of different domains. It's like different domains. You want to do like health, wealth, finances. You know, you do them – so you get like really specific.

And I'm trying to do a home addition. So that was my thing. I was like trying to like figure out – build like a thing. And I'm trying to do a home addition. So that was my thing. I was like trying to like figure out, build like a thing. Have cool shit in your house? No, just so we can have more kids. But also be cool. So we need like more space. So like figure out how to do all that.

Expand the house. Build another level. Get nice at identifying rocks. That's one of my goals. I know that that's been a goal. I've been hearing rumblings of that being a goal of yours. Yeah, I mean, I'm really. Identifying rocks. I went from meteorology tolings of that being a goal of yours. Yeah, I mean, I'm really... Identifying rocks.

I went from meteorology to geology really quickly. Yeah. So... But yeah. I hate geology. Do you really? Yeah. So you want to hear about my big quartzite haul this weekend?

When I was a kid, I was a big fan of quartz. That was the one I could identify. Yeah. I had quartzite. And I would go around and try to identify quartz. Yeah. That was big for me. That was the only rock

i could ever what happened why do you hate rocks now i don't know i just took geology in college and i fucking hated it did you guys get to like collect rocks yeah yeah although in fifth grade we went to like a fossil field trip there was like a place where you could dig up fossils that ruled that's what i'm saying that was fun that's what i'm saying but that's what we should i think that should be your bachelor party fossil hunting go down to an old fossil place don't tempt me dude don't tempt me i'm i've been i've been looking at the uh pennsylvania like geological survey identifying good like good spots to go and fucking find cool rocks and shit you're i think you're on a big thing of like an unspecified i don't know if you're on like a real kind of crystal deposit where you grew up.

I grew up on like garnet, like literally like garnet mines. So it's like I'm around like dark – I grew up around like underneath or with like dark crystals above me or below me, excuse me. Dark crystals. Yeah. So you're into pseudoscience geology and then fucking garbage geology. Dude, it literally tells you on your thing what's underneath you. Like what the – No, I know. But like you're talking about the dark crystals actually having like a dark magical no no i was i grew up around it i grew up in a geologically exciting environment where i

think you i think oh okay i think up around you might just be like a bed of shale close to the mountains up there yeah it could be you could you could be on some limestone maybe some diamonds over yonder let me see i'll actually i'm gonna see what the rock type oh no but for you for the sorry i won't get into that but the gold stuff really is just kind of for me like it eliminates the feeling of like what am i doing like with my life and day like i'll get into a thing where i just start like going from like tab to tab on a browser just yeah and i start being like what am i doing what am i doing and i started just freaking out so i've been starting to like map my days out very consciously. And, dude, it eliminates like 90% of anxiety.

Yeah, that sounded good. I was listening to that and I was like – It's pretty – We got to do that because here's mine right now. Yeah. See if you can ride the Peloton today. Yeah. It's like, you know what?

Gets around 9 o'clock. I'm like, there's always tomorrow. So, dude, the thing they – one of the tech, because that's the whole thing. Because I've been trying to take command of my day forever. Like, I literally, I was like, I wish I could just wake up and like. Well, it was nice when we worked. That was a way better way to have, like. True.

It was nice. Then you come home and you're like, yeah, I'll fucking make dinner and play video games. Exactly. Awesome. Maybe read. When you're in charge of your own schedule. But when you have literally nothing on the schedule,

especially when you get COVID-19, when you get diagnosed with the dreaded disease COVID-19. Then it's like, you can't even, like I feel bad going out at all. Yeah. Obviously that was different,

but that was like, that was two weeks of just like, that was weird. Are people still shunning you? No. Wait, were they ever i'm sorry no yeah no one really did yeah because everybody that was at that party i went to got tested negative so you know connor o'connor and tommy just accepted their fates they went down with

the ship that's very which i do yeah i did appreciate yeah and neither of them got it yeah god rewarded their fucking bravery. 100% rewarded their loyalty. Mm-hmm. Yeah, dude. But, yeah, not having anything to do is actually, I mean, it's not hard. It's the easiest thing in the world, which makes it shitty. I'd say it's difficult, dude. Yeah.

I think, dude, yeah, that's what I'm getting as a motor. It's like if you don't have a clear purpose, it's like shit starts to get really weird. Yeah. And that's what, you know, I don't want to be one of the guys it's like i need stand up but like yeah that was my thing that's what i was doing yeah dude yeah that's human beings we're the only creatures who need to like make sense out of the things you know we can't just like come and eat you know it will come and eat stuff and we could it's not all some of us what i've been doing some you know again it's like the classic Scarface scene.

Yeah, I've been cumming and eating. Is this all there is, dude? Cumming and fucking and fucking sucking asses. Yeah. But yeah, dude, that's the 2021 move, dude, of taking full command of the day. And the thing with the Peloton, too, is pretty cool. There's a thing called elastic habits where it's like, say you're not going to do like you know four fucking hours or like an olympic level thing you put a calendar and then you say like all right i i can have a thing where i do 10 minutes of it there's

another level if i do 30 minutes maximum level is me doing it for an hour yeah so you just do it for 10 if you're not going to do it at all you just do it for 10 minutes and you have a calendar where you put like a color-coded sticker versus like which level thing they have back in the month on the app do they really yeah exactly it's called your calendar it's called elastic habits dude yeah it's not a big deal and it rewards you for how many days you do it and then they now they're doing that there's a thing where it's like programs it's good this dude i'm telling you your program it's like people need this people need it dude yeah i need it and i mean fuck i i had a long period in my life where i didn't have to go to work and stuff.

And, dude, it would just start to, like, fuck with me, dude. Yeah. You get full. I got a taste of, like, retirement kind of. Sort of. I'm selling drugs. But the, like, you know, I had the whole day to myself. So that also makes you wonder, like, if those old women were appreciative of a guy coming in the window with a hammer and being like all right no more hanging out no more hanging out i thought you said whether they're selling drugs this hanging out

yeah i think once you're 70 it might rule but hanging out yeah i doubt there's any like internal pressure suck dude no i bet hanging out the same store for like 70 years and you're just kind of like here i am again at this fucking place eating like dude like there can't be it's like I don't know I bet that inner drive of like I need to do something

I need to true I bet that starts to if you have no like drive at all to like I need to prove something to some

sure like you know yeah yeah if that's gone chillin rules true if that's removed you know like it's like when you try to think it's

like when you accomplish something and then when you're done you can do whatever and you're like nice good day today yeah i bet that's how it feels with life you're like oh nice i did it yeah i don't have to now i'm fucking chilling it would be nice to have absolutely zero ambition just like wait till something exciting and be like oh sweet this is awesome oh nice what a nice treat but imagine like dude imagine you're like 700th burger you're 80 and you're munching a bird you're like i've like it might i has to lose the excitement at some point like burgers burgers home improvement reruns like i've seen this rerun 400 fucking reruns get time burger you think burgers are wearing off on anybody i don't know bro sometimes. Sometimes I get that.

You've had 700 burgers. I eat shit. True, I love burgers every single time. I think it's like jerking off. I think as long as you don't have a burger for a while, then a burger's gonna be...

I think you're right about that. Because sometimes I just get sick of eating. I like eat shit. I'm like, I don't even care about food anymore, dude. I think that's just depression. That's depression.

In my case, occasionally it's Adderall. Yeah. I don't even want to eat. I haven't eaten today. I should eat. Yeah. Yeah.

But no, that's what I've been doing. Dude, it's funny too because like a lot of that stuff gets a really negative rap. And then you try it and you're like, damn, this fucking rules, dude. What, chilling? No, I'm talking about mapping your – No, dude. I'm talking about mapping your day out. What about chilling and burgers they rule too but as rules as a reward i've been mapping my day out and just like crushing like yeah to-do lists and projects

and it dude it's like feels good that's nice so otherwise i would just fucking like not i would like vaguely not do anything all day and be like brittany leave me alone i'm fucking working yeah and i would just like be a fucking dick and then i would be like i can't come upstairs yet i'm not done because i would have sat on the line all day being like what the fuck am i doing myself yeah but now it's like dude like fucking five o'clock now imagine there's no britney and it's just o'connor you just turn on him occasionally true just hanging out and then finally like what the fuck are you looking at just occasionally just spaz on o'connor that's what happens yeah all right let's we gotta we gotta switch over the page uh got some

shows coming up let me know if you want to do any of these yeah let me know hit me with the dates the well you can't do this one 28th 29th 30th 31st of january san Antonio. LOL San Antonio. Nice. 4th, 5th, and 6th of February, Good Nights in Raleigh, North Carolina. 19th and 20th of February, Arlington Drafthouse in D.C. March 12th, 13th, Helium, Indianapolis. 19th, 20th, Helium, Buffalo. 26th, 27th.

This is the one you should come to. Crown of Comedy in Auburn. If you ever wanted to film that special of me. Where's Auburn? Auburn, Alabama. Oh. I believe Crown of Comedy is a urban club. Oh, dude.

If you ever want to film that special, this could be it. I might. I might. Dude. Yo, motherfuckers, I'm beating you so much pussy. That, dude. If you ever want to film that special, this could be it. I might. Yo, motherfuckers, I'm beating so much pussy. That's it. Come on. It's going to be very hard for you not to do that there. I will do that. I will do that. I've been watching.

Phil Rivers, one of the best quarterbacks of all time. He doesn't swear. He has like nine kids. You'd love. Yeah. He doesn't swear. He has, like, nine kids. Respect that. You'd love this guy. Hell yeah. He's great.

And he does mic'd up and he spazzes. Every single game he spazzes. And it's always, like, he's like a kid. But there's one clip. It's very funny. It's just fun to hear a dude, like, spazz that's like, dadgummit. He says dadgummit a lot. He says, golly.

But there's one play a defensive end tackles him he just threw the ball he gets hit while he's throwing it while he's laying on the ground he starts he the the receiver breaks it for 90 yards yeah and phil rivers stands up he's like 90 yards touchdown and he's like he walks like a little kid like he's excited and uh this dn who's this giant black dude who's like man get out of here and like the ref comes over and he's like you see how 17's yelling in my face

and the ref like pushes Phillip Rivers and he's like get the fuck out of here like pushing him he's like he's screaming and then

he's like I will he's like I'm not allowed to be excited he starts yelling that to the D.N. and the D.N.'s like yeah just don't do it in my ear and he switches from being like

ooh I'm not allowed to be excited and then he goes just don't do it in my ear. And he switches from being like, ooh, I'm not allowed to be excited. And then he goes, just don't do it by my ear. And he goes, I will do it by your ear. It's the craziest thing, dude. It's so funny. He's like, yeah, man, have fun. Just don't do it by my ear.

I will do it by your ear. He jogs off. It's great. Just that spaz made me so happy. I didn't think that was like a possible altercation that would be had on the field I thought it was just more like fuck you pussy fuck

yeah it's always just like yeah alright good play but like don't yell in my face I'm gonna yell I'm gonna yell in your ear that's what I do dude not cursing really unlocks

unlocks you to be able to I will maybe I will yell I will be enthusiastic fucking pussy bitch you're like I'm gonna yell in your ear yeah and you can't stop me hell yeah maybe I will yell I will be enthusiastic fucking pussy bitch you're like I'm gonna yell in your ear yeah and you can't stop me

hell yeah that's exciting that's dude that pumps me up alright guys thank you for listening yeah man San Antonio

come to that show ooh actually hold your horses what you got could be breaking news right now hold on maybe I'll release it

on the Patreon. What, you got something else going on? Yeah, I'm thinking what I'd like to do, and I think a lot of people would like this, is doing perhaps a bi-weekly show at Helium in Philly where we just get us and our friends together and we do a comedy showcase of guys like Dad, me, wood, six and Shainer. That'd be awesome.

Tommy McKeever. Yeah. Oh, everybody. Yeah. It'd be fun. Just do a showcase. It'd be five weekly.

So fun. Come down on a weeknight. Oh, slam people. Rip hot five to 10 dude. Exactly. And then bring down some secret New York guys. Sometimes a little surprise soda,

a little surprise, you know? Whoa. That's what I, that's what I'm working on right now with helium comedy. That was surprise soda. A little surprise. You know? That's what I'm working on right now with helium comedy. That was one of the tightwads. Tightwads are, you know, they're doing what they do. They just lowballed me pretty good. Just got hit with a good lowball, but that's fine.

So I was like, just give me enough money that I can just split it every week evenly with everybody. And it's somewhat worthwhile. Because I think we'll sell it out pretty regularly probably i'd like it to gain into a thing where people are like oh shit this is good stand-up that we can see yeah regularly like occasionally rich wass will be there you know fucking some legends the headmaster maybe lemare will get a spot lemare is this something you're interested in, what I just said? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Kind of big-timing you, dude. Yeah. What's this? What was that move?

What are you trying to do there? What's that? Yeah. That's what you get. You just busted that chair. That's what you get for your insolence. Why would you do that towards me? Why would you treat me like that?

I'm trying to get excited. And I will be excited about it. No, I'm hyped, dude. I'm super hyped for it. All right, well, I promise you, I promise you you're never going to be on it. I think LaMere thought you were setting him up for a fall. I wouldn't say.

That's what I'm trying to get out of him. But I think he was just kind of like, nobody cares about this idea. Damn, he's big time. Dude, fuck helium. Oh, is that what this is? Why is that? No, I'm joking. I'm joking.

I'm joking. Well, those are the bad jokes. Yeah, what's your beef with helium? Helium rocks. What, because you guys keep asking to work there and they don't work you helium's cool helium's cool it was cool i don't know about that i don't like that we'll see what happens dude salty attitude of some of our guys hey dag dag gum it god i can't golly all right i'll stop talking that was good that