Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Secure the Bug Out Bag w/ Tom Green

Episode Date: March 28, 2020

International M.E.G.A. G.O.D. Tom Green blesses the cast with plethora of pacifist survival tips. If you need more T Green check out his cast @ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Also, support the paytch: https://www.patreon.com/MSsecretpod Video: https://youtu.be/lsHLLrTs4ug

oh boy we're live dude oh yeah oh my god it worked huh oh yeah nice it worked do we got my you got my video on no no oh yeah there we go oh whoa it's the future it's the future one second are we on now are we like live on yeah yeah we live like we're live like is it actually happening or it's happening dude it's happening for dude. Is this before the show? Is this before the show? Like, is this that moment? It's up to you, dude. You know the moment where, like, you call into a show and you're just, okay, we're going to start now, and then that part's not in the show later?

Is that this part or is it actually the show? This is the show. Hey, guys, how are you? Good. How are you doing, man? Good to be here. Yeah, thanks for having me on. I'm just, well, you know, I'm, how are you? Good, how you doing, man? Good to be here. Yeah, thanks for having me on. I'm just, well, you know, I'm, how am I doing?

Let me just really think about that for a second. That's a question. That's also normally one of those questions on phone and radio shows and stuff. How you doing? And it's like, yeah, pretty good. And then you start talking. But I'm actually going to think about that for a second because I'm not really sure how I'm doing, to be honest with you. Because I haven't left my house in a week

and I'm pretty worried about the pandemic that's going on. I'm a little worried about that. How are you, Shane? Good to see you, man. I'm good, man. I'm not too worried. I'm out here traveling. Yeah, you're not worried. Yeah, I thought maybe that might be the case. Judging by the campfire on the beach that I saw.

You know, the government puts out a stay at home, do not go outside order, do not go to the beach, and you go light a campfire. Look, it's very, very secluded. I'm staying away. I'm not talking to anybody. I'm not touching anybody. We're very secluded yeah i'm staying away i'm not talking to anybody i'm not touching anybody we're very secluded yeah yeah well that's that's good i mean you're not you're not you're not in the epicenter right now you're out in uh you're out in where are you south carolina yeah i'm in south carolina just fucking around yeah this is this is crazy uh You know, I'm in Los Angeles at home and you know, it's it's one of those things where I'm taking this pretty seriously because

I've been, I've been reading everything on the internet. I've been reading everything. Like I've been reading everything, like everything I've been reading. And so if you read everything on the internet you know, one day it can be feeling like, Oh,

it's just a flu no big deal exactly and then the next day the next day you're terrified but the more i read the more i realize that we're we're supposed to be terrified right now this is not just the flu and uh i've been um you know three days before the um before the whole thing went down, where they told everybody to not leave their houses. No, sorry, three weeks before. Did I say three weeks before? I stocked up my pantry with my kitchen. Let me use the word pantry so I sound really Canadian, you know?

But, yeah, so I got some sardines here. I'm not sure how much of the video portion of this gets used on the show. We'll use it. All of it, dude. Sardines are a high source of protein, which is good.

I'm not sure if I should be showing off my sardines, because when the looting starts, this is the first place they're going to come for my delicious sardines. You have weapons? I don't like talking about all that kind of stuff, but let's just say I'm ready for anything up here. Fuck yeah, dude. We've got collard greens, which is – Chill, chill, chill.

We've got some chili. Got some chili here. It's good to have lots of non-perishable items. Rice is important to have. Rice, lots of rice. I didn't – I was worried I was going to run out of rice if this thing goes on for a couple of years. So I ordered a 10- pound bag of rice on Amazon the

other day. And, um, and, uh, and, and, and, uh, the thing that's interesting is I actually have never used Amazon until this whole thing started, which is weird. Um, uh, I'm not a boomer. I'm a generation X. Okay. Yeah. So are you going to eat, what are you going to do with all the canned goods if this turns out to just be the flu are you going to eat those sardines no it's not the flu it's not the flu okay um dr tom green are you sure it's not the flu yeah i know yes i am 100 sure now and i think it's important i think it's important to convey that to our friends and followers and fans on social media. Because at the end of the day, when this is all over, you know, you want your fans and followers and friends to do well, you know. And we don't want them to get sick.

And so there's some things I'm trying to not kind of joke around about, you know, because I actually do really, I'm really kind of feeling worried about everybody in this country and Canada and around the world right now. So yeah, but not to bring the mood down. Not trying to bring the mood down. But, you know know sometimes i think if you sort of base these conversations on a foundation of seriousness it actually kind of raises the level of uh of uh you know of uh you know uh attention that people might be given to what we're talking about here so back to the sardines but um no i'll tell you what yeah no i agree i agree and it's i was i was telling matt yesterday like i'm usually like i i wake up scared of it and then i'm scared all day and then i start and then i'll start drinking and i'm like ah fuck it i'm untouchable yeah yeah and then uh i wake up

in the morning hungover like i did today and i read about how you have to like lay on your stomach for a week at a time. So to not lay on your, your lungs and they just pump oxygen into you for weeks until you either die or get better. Yeah. Yeah. And not only are we going to run out of beds. Yeah. Yeah. And not only is that horrible, but like even if you don't really get those kind of symptoms yourself, you know, the older people'm looking at it as kind of a strange sort of unfortunate opportunity to be able to just stay home and play on my computer all day. You know, what do you got going on?

Well, you know, I've got, I do a lot of, uh, I make hip hop beats basically. I make dope, uh, dope hip hop beats and, uh, and I've been recording my podcast as well. So I launched a podcast. I relaunched my podcast last week and I'm doing one every day and I'm taking calls and talking about the, the pandemic that we're going through right now. So it's weird though. Do you guys, do you guys find that, that it's sort of like you kind of can't believe that it's happening a little bit? Oh, totally. Like, yeah. I mean, we, we know it's happening,

but then you can't believe it. I think it's like depending on how much you really believe that it's going to be, you know, Stephen King's The Stand basically have you seen that movie or read the book I read the book yeah yeah where everybody basically and it's it sort of feels a bit like that to me like I think that my head takes me to this place where I'm prepared for that like I have I have enough food here probably to last me. I have enough food to last me for a month. But I started getting nervous and realizing that that's not going to be enough to get through this. So I ordered this 10-pound bag of rice on Amazon so it could probably last a year.

If you have rice, beans, and corn, that is a completely uh balanced diet you could live off that alone so i'm gonna i'm gonna try to get about a year's supply of of food i'm gonna put in the back in the garage just in case this thing really drags on but the thing that's interesting shane the thing that i this rules by the way i'm so happy i was like what the fuck are we gonna talk about i gotta add i'm like in my head, I was, I was eating Cheerios this morning. Like I wonder if he ever hung out with Fred Durst. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Fred's great. Fred, Fred,

Fred actually left a comment on one of my posts that I made on my Instagram last night about a hip hop track that I'm working on. Oh, that'd be awesome. He said, butter. So he thinks it's like, yeah. So,

which is cool. But no, the thing is, because I've never, no, it's okay. The thing is, I,

because I've never really ordered off Instagram before, and now I'm starting to get these packages are starting to arrive. It's exciting. It's kind of like, it's kind of like I'm waiting for Christmas every packages are starting to arrive. It's exciting. It's kind of like I'm waiting for Christmas every day. Are you worried they're contaminated? I am. So this is the process.

No, I am. No, and that's a very real thing, by the way. No, no, no. You've got to let them sit for like 48 hours. Yeah, you order this shit, but then you can never use it. You just leave it out there on the porch. No, I, well, one of the things I realized is I didn't have enough cleansers. So I didn't have enough Clorox and, and rubber gloves and all the things that you need to decamp, decontaminate stuff. So then I get in sort of a catch 22 situation because I've ordered the the rubber gloves but I don't have rubber gloves so

how do I get the rubber gloves out of the rubber glove packaging without the rubber gloves you see you see what happened so I uh so I I just sort of basically picked it up with some like tongs and I put it in the garage and it's just sitting in the garage for a for a for a few days until I can get access to the the cleansers that I got. I've got a little cleanser left. So I've got a little bit of cleanser left. You are 100% going to survive. Oh, yeah.

My first order of cleanser, by the way. Look, because you guys are my friends, I want your listeners to have all the information. This right here is the shit, man. This right here, okay? You can drink your product? Yeah, this right here, man. No, it's not just because it's my name,

but it's because, and this is not an official endorsement or anything like that, but this shit, man, is the stuff that kills the um the virus this does more so than lysol that is the best stuff uh you think you should just take a shot of that if they don't feel good you know uh my friend drank it one time like if you feel really really really bad yeah yeah you need a way out

damn dude but you know um no i i i uh i'm cleaning the the packaging and um and then i'm letting it sit for two days and then i'm getting into it unfortunately i don't need anything right now the supplies that i have coming right now are essentially restock for a month from now when i start to running out running out of my uh initial emergency supplies so but um i don't know i think maybe you got this dialed in the right way shane i think just sitting down in north carolina or south carolina and drinking on the beach i think that's probably a better way to go than all this bullshit i'm yeah i mean i don't know we'll see i i mean either way i'm definitely taking precautions and it's funny how much it like definitely uh is in my head like i have like for some reason i've been having very

anxiety-ridden dreams yeah we're in a pandemic i'll be watching movies matt has it by way. Matt's been coughing a lot. No. Everyone in my house had it. He refuses to get tested. My daughter got swabbed. She has a metanoma virus. It's a cold.

We all got a close call. All right. Well, yeah. You're like number four in the totem pole of diseases right now. We're good, though. Yeah. Yeah. Are you isolating?

Are you taking your daughter and putting her in a room for two months and just you know tossing tossing granola bars into her and no we all we all have it so we're all asking how she's yeah okay we'll be be careful and and monitor that have you checked for a fever is it a dry cough no he broke his very productive cough i have a fever myself i took a hot bath and got myself up to 100 degrees and killed whatever I had. Okay, that's good. You take the hair dryer. You blow the hair dryer up your nose, too, like the way the congressman said. Oh, this is how you get rid of the coronavirus.

You just blow a hair dryer up your nose. Everyone's like, oh, that's great. That's some city council. A politician said that? Yeah, he said you just blow a hair dryer up your nose and it's over. Go back to work. What if he's right? Yeah, I mean.

Taiwan, they said take a sip of water every 15 minutes and you'll wash it down to your stomach where the stomach will destroy it. I heard that too. I honestly heard that. I would think Bushmills would do a better job, really. You think that? I think take a sip of that every 15 minutes. Take a shot.

You're killing it. In terms of hand-to-hand combat, what are you prepared to do? You know, okay, I'll tell you what I usually do in that situation. I'm a very fast runner. So I usually run in the opposite direction of anything like that. And that's pretty much the, the, the intention. Uh, I run, well, someone's coming in and saying, Tom, where the fuck are the sardines at? You got to stand your ground back into a corner.

You're back into a corner. No, no, because I have a bug-out bag. I have a bag full of sardines. And also, if you want to talk about it, I actually have – I'd say I have a healthy supply of food in the trunk of my car as well. So I'm ready to just jet. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm ready to just jet. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm ready to jet. And, you know, so I advise this to anybody

who is, you know, concerned about burglaries or any of this sort of thing. You know, I grew up in Canada, right? So in Canada, it's, you know, there's not as much as far as, you know, guns and stuff like that up in Canada. So I find down here in the U.S., like, people are so ready to confront, like, danger. Like, if they say, oh, yeah, you know, like, you go to a gun store

and they say, you know, oh, you know, you want a shotgun, you know, because, you know, if someone breaks into the house, all you need to do is, and they hear that through the door and then they go running, you know, if someone breaks into the house, all you need to do is they hear that through the door and then they go running, you know. And so it's like this idea of confrontation, you know. In Canada, what do you do? On the other side of the door, you're just like, hey, beat it, bud. Yeah. Oh, I want those sardines, bud.

What the hell are you doing with my sardines there, bud? Get the hell out of here, eh? Yeah, pretty much. And also the person well the person in canada the person breaking into your house doesn't have a gun so then you just you know it's a little bit of a different kind of equation but here well tell that to oj's wife yeah yeah yeah it still can be a negative experience yeah no for sure i i i'd go back to what i sort of started with so retreat i think retreat yeah run so i always like to i always like to say uh have two exits from the place that you're sleeping two two doors so if you're sleeping in your bedroom,

you should have a door, of course. You need a door to get in, first of all. A door to the house, to the main house. And then if you are on the ground floor, a door that goes to the outside. If you're on an upstairs floor, the door to the outside, to the balcony or the window, have a rope ladder so you can get out the other way.

So if you hear commotion right if you hear somebody in your house the the response is not hey who the hell is there and now you're in a gunfight right you're not gonna win in a you're not gonna win in a fucking gunfight i'm sorry like yeah that's great you i i got i hate him in the shoulder You know he shot And now my jaw Is hanging in my face you know But yeah I showed him You know I love the idea that like the dishwasher

Turning on at night and Tom hitting A fucking rope ladder out of his house Rope ladder I gotta fuck out What about traps I don't take it to that level I mean to be honest with you i have a i have a lot of things though in place here that that uh i don't really want to go into detail on so you're going like home alone style on this like legos by the windows

yeah you know bowling bowling balls on ropes yeah yeah when you walk through the front door yeah you know and you know but i'm i'm i, but I'll tell you on another subject, though. You know, I live here, sort of, Los Angeles. So I've been seeing increased military activity in the last three days. Occasionally, I'll see a military helicopter fly by, but not regularly. In the last three days and increasing yesterday, I'm seeing Black Hawk helicopters flying by. I'm seeing Ospreys.

You know those Ospreys? I'm seeing them fly by all day, every day. They're buzzing my house, and it's definitely a show of force. They're definitely out there trying to show off the, the you know people that know more about this than than we do or than i do or than all of us do you know are preparing for for the worst and uh it's scary it's pretty scary yeah that is scary i saw that like videos and shit like tanks getting brought in through cities on rail and like it's spooky stuff when you see it every day like flying by your house and i'm talking about you start stocking

up i understand you know i'm talking it's flying by like right right here like i'll show you if you want to see some los angeles right now yeah this my, this is my, uh, my house here. Damn. Yeah. Right there. They fly right past here every day, right here. And, uh, there's my Ms. Pac-Man machine and right here, right there. What kind of choppers are flying? Double blade? Blackhawk helicopters and ospreys every day. Right by the house, buzzing the house.

And it's... It's because they heard about those deans, dude. Yeah. The government's coming to... They heard about those sardines. The government Uncle Sam's coming to take your deans. If the Blackhawk buzzes my house and then the guys rappel down

and they say, give me the sardines, I mean, I don't care about anything anymore. That's a great ending to my whole experience on this planet. You'll go down like Scarface just with a face full of sardines on your desk. Hey, you know what? I wanted to say, of course, you know, I don't want to bury the lead here, but man, one of the, the big bummers about this whole thing is the skank face.

I know man. Skank fest got canceled or rescheduled. I mean, I was so looking forward to come to skank fest and hanging out with you guys. I mean, we've been talking about this since I met you in New York City last year. You did, dude. You know, and then you were nice enough to invite me to that. You know, we had a good time in New York, though.

You know, it was fun. Dude, well, you're such a fucking great hang. And it's crazy because a lot of these dudes like you that are like, you know, celebrities, like you can be real cunts, but you're the fucking man. Yeah, I know know i've met all those guys you know they stink yeah i know all those fucking guys they do suck it's crazy yeah i don't really know i don't know why people get like that but uh i think people uh sometimes not everybody's like that though i think it's's just there are a lot of people like that in general. But I'm glad that you don't think I'm, you know, that I'm a cunt.

No, you're the fucking man. As you put it. But, yeah, because, like, yeah, that was going to be fun. I mean, I was really looking forward to just hanging with you guys. And are they going to reschedule it or yeah i think well see they they very uh optimistically rescheduled it for september so i know you're not going to be there the virus well let's see how this goes i mean i really hope that uh that uh that you know we can get i think they said september i could be wrong about that.

But it's also like they were almost – Lewis was like almost adamant about trying to keep it going. And like right when he said like unless the city shuts it down, I'm still doing it, right after South by Southwest canceled. And I was talking to him like, bro, you might want to cancel this thing. Yeah, yeah. This is a bad idea right now. Yeah, I mean, I can imagine it must have been kind of a tough decision because it's one of those things where at first you know you nobody really

knew yeah how bad it was going to be and you know you're kind of every day you're thinking okay are we gonna have to cancel this and all of a sudden it must have become undeniable at some point but but yeah yeah i mean i'm definitely there as soon definitely there as soon as you reschedule it, as long as this pandemic's, you know, died down. I'm sure they won't be able to do it until it's safe anyway, so we'll make it happen. Did you – last time I saw you, you had a beard. Did you shave your beard because of the pandemic?

Yeah, because the beard – I heard about that. I haven't shaved my beard in probably about like 10 years. And the last time I shaved it, I shaved it. And then I immediately began growing it back. Every once in a while, like every decade or so, I like to just shave it to, you know, kind of air out or whatever. I think once every 10 years.

But, you know, yeah. It wasn't just because I believe that it's, you know, a place that viruses can live, because I don't really think that's necessarily the case. It's just more like I'm home alone. I was suffering from extreme boredom. This is what's weird about this. Okay, so, you know, I'm not married. I don't have kids. I'm currently, you know, between relationships, kids I'm currently between

relationships meaning I'm not in one I'm assuming I'll be in another one one day so I'm between them but so I'm kind of actually I wasn't intending to spend three months in my house by myself

I was I was going to go to spend three months in my house by myself. I was going to go up to Canada, and my family's up there, and my parents and my brother are up there. But I thought, well, I'll stay in my house. This will be a few weeks, and I'll do some podcasting. I'll make some hip-hop beats and eat some sardines. But all of a sudden, it sort of occurs to me that this is going to be a three month or so ordeal and and i'm here for three months in the house

by myself and i'm realizing this is this is definitely a unique experience that i'm about to go through here um i'm not going i'm not going outside i really am not i mean i'm going outside of my my deck here but i'm i'm not i'm not going to the grocery store anymore i'm done with that uh you know the last time i went to the grocery store was about eight days ago and it was sort of my last scary it was it was like a military operation yeah you feel like it is my friend said he's like it feels like you're like deep diving in the ocean like we got to get it get what we got and get the fuck out of here you hold your breath it's like that it's like that grocery store a game show where they got to get as much as i can except you know if you lose, you die. I wore an Army jacket.

I brought my – I kind of hope it stays like this forever. I did. Nobody breathes around each other or touch each other. Yeah, I wore an Army jacket. I usually have my Army jacket on, but it's morning. I'm just kind of – I'm not quite, you know, fully up yet. There it is.

Getting ready for the day. It's good to dress in military garb and time to run. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready for anything. I've got Blackhawk helicopters buzzing the house. But when I went to the grocery store, I had my Lysol, and I had some Purell. And I went in, and I sprayed the handle of the grocery cart with the Lysol,

washed it down, and then I quickly did what I had to do. Have you been to a grocery store? It's not too crazy where you are right now, so people are probably living business as usual out there right now. To some extent, they did put out those Lysol

wipes by the carts. So right when you take your cart, you just wipe it down. But are all the restaurants closed? Yeah, but they closed late. They closed like three days ago here. So everything is closed now though. Okay. Yeah.

So people know that something is happening in South Carolina. Yeah, and all the toilet paper is gone as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So people know that something is happening in South Carolina. Yeah. And all the toilet paper is gone as well. Yeah. I've got a theory about that as well. See, toilet paper takes up a lot of space on the shelf. It's big. So when this initial, see people say, why is all the toilet paper gone? Why are people more concerned about wiping their ass than eating? know but and i i realized what it was as soon as everybody went to the grocery store at once everybody who went to the grocery store bought one thing of toilet

paper in that first week toilet paper there is as you would think because it's big so you know just a normal amount of toilet paper takes up an entire aisle so now all of a sudden the aisle is completely empty because everybody just grabbed one roll of toilet paper this is on the first day the second day people go there's no toilet paper they see this long empty shell visually on the internet that looks scary a huge empty shelf there's no toilet but now everyone says you have to get toilet paper you have to get toilet paper on the internet you have to get toilet paper so now there's a run on something there never really had to be a run on and now we're uh never gonna have any toilet paper

again i don't know is there i don't know for i have i have i have enough for for a little while but i do need to get some more of that so i don't know how i'm gonna do that i don't know how i'm gonna here's what you do every once in a. If you can tell it's a clean dump, just hop in the shower, Tom. Save that toilet paper. Wipe your ass in the shower. That's true. Or you could actually just take a shit in the shower, too.

Just save the shit. Just do it right there in the shower. Yeah, absolutely. Listen, are you, are you feeling any sense of, um, I mean, I'm sure you are. I am as standups. We get up on stage every night. Yeah. It sucks.

Isn't it weird to not be able to get that out of your system every night? Yeah. That was kind of my entire self worth. Yeah. every night yeah that was kind of my entire self-worth yeah now yeah and and it's sort of just physically and emotionally you get a daily physical adrenaline rush from it yeah you get an emotional catharsis from it and now with that absent in our lives it's got to be uh strange what's how are you how are you feeling with that how are you what are you replacing that with drinking and uh no podcasting podcasting helps um for sure yeah that's the thing like that's why i started doing my podcast again every day i want you to come on the pod call into the podcast this week yeah i'd be happy to

yeah it'd be great um i uh today i just posted uh uh andrew dice clay actually so who's a friend of mine and you know dice so he uh he's he's up uh every day actually today yeah that was yesterday today i put up uh uh one of the founders of the bare naked ladies steven page uh i had chris angel on this week yes dr drew called in and we talked about uh you know medical medical uh uh sort of outlook of of of this this sort of a, he sort of dissected what's going on a little bit for me. Dr. Drew made me feel better about things, but I, I, I, I, I worry that that I still worry that it might not be as,

as, as, as easy as, as he made it sound to me. So, you know, I, I do want to have Dr. Drew to call back onto the show. Cause he's a friend of mine. I kind of want to ask him some more. He was like, wasn't he early on kind of like a bit of a, he was saying everybody was being kind of alarmists about this. Yeah. I think a lot of people have been doing that in the beginning. And I think we're still in the beginning and I think people are starting to realize that maybe this is worse than than the flu um there's there's definitely a strong contingency of people online who who debate that and I

understand that you know you can read anything and you can believe anything you want and and people today on the internet myself included like to question authority and like to question the rules and it's fun reading conspiracy theories and hell some of them might be true but I look at it like this if you're going to be wrong about something don't be wrong about this one you can't really yeah yeah you decide it's just the flu i'm going to go out and live my normal life you can't take my freedom away i'm going to do whatever the fuck i want and then oops i was wrong dead you know i'd rather be i'd rather i'd rather be over prepared and have uh you know too too much rice too many cans of sardines

and realize i i overreacted and then the big the big you know downside of that is i've got you know i'm eating tuna and out of a can for the next you know six years or whatever but uh so so i'm just saying uh i think it's probably better on this one just to kind of err on the side of caution and just uh just to assume that maybe uh what they're saying is actually right yeah i think it would suck to be wrong it would be suck to be like fuck that and then die i know well that's the thing wasn't worth it wasn't. It's like, dude, if I took this thing lightly, I would just go home to my family and just kill them all. Yeah, absolutely. Just do it.

Exactly. My parents are in their 70s. They're isolated up at their place in Canada. And I can't, you know, Tom, give me some advice here. I'm down, I'm at the beach. I'm just renting houses for like weeks or two at a time. Nice. But I don't want to, well, it's going to, I'm just renting houses for weeks or two at a time. That's supposed to be nice.

Well, it's going to run out soon, but it's like... You're burning through cash there, huh? Yeah, whatever. You could probably... It's either this or go back to my shitty apartment in New York City. They can't evict you right now. I bet they can.

Bunker down, dude. Do you, do you, I mean, not, not to, but I'm not, I'm sort of, I'm not joking.

I'm sort of kidding around. Cause I don't expect that you will take this advice, but maybe you would. Do you like camping? You like camping? Not that much. Yeah. Yeah.

If you like, you think you're going in the woods for a while you know if you really like camping you could go get a really nice tent you can get for like the cost of renting a house for one day you could probably go get the nicest most luxurious hipster tent doomsday tent and you could go out to you know the ozarks or something and set up this beautiful tent and have a you know the trunk of your car full of supplies you could probably just kick back there for uh until this whole thing's over i could i could get a cabin in uh like montana like a small shed, and start mailing bombs.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't joke around about that, though. They'll come and get you just for kidding around about that. I was watching the Ted Kaczynski. Maybe clarify that you're just joking real quick. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe even edit that. Not mailing pipe bombs? Yeah, or elder statesman here. Maybe even just edit that just joking real quick. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe even edit that part. Not mailing pipe bombs? Yeah, or elder statesman here.

Maybe even just edit that part out, Shane. I don't know. I would – You can josh about bombs. As long as you're not on an airplane, you can josh about bombs. Okay. I don't know. I don't know.

I get nervous about these sorts of things. You know, joking about these types of things. That's good. Like mailing powder and stuff? Yeah, you know, I just think, you know, I'd rather joke about sardines. Yeah, that's fair. I mean, you've got helicopters around you.

I wouldn't be running my app if I – Yeah, I wouldn't talk – I would not be talking shit. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I just want you to be careful because, you know, during times like this, people do react strongly to that kind of stuff. I wouldn't want you guys to get in trouble. Bomb talk.

Thanks, man. I appreciate that. I really am making an effort right now, and I think we all should really look out for our friends. I'm on the phone all day with my friends you know because I because I can't hang out with my friends and I have no social experience other than doing my podcast and doing this and calling my friends on the phone so I get on the phone I talk to my friends every day for a couple hours in the evening and kind of talk about serious stuff

you know like what we're doing to like you, you know, like what we're doing to, like you said, you know, make sure that we know how to get our stuff into the house without getting sick or make, you know, there's a lot of weird little rules to this. You know, the virus can live on cardboard for 24 hours, plastic for two days, and stainless steel for three days, supposedly. plastic for two days and stainless steel for three days supposedly but then i hear then i hear that they just found on one of those princess cruise lines they found living virus on the boat that has been there for 17 days so i don't know if this is internet uh fear-mongering but uh internet uh fear-mongering but uh it's it's it's got me nervous i don't really want to touch anything so how do you think this is going to and we have three minutes left because zoom what with

three people unless you upgrade boots you out after like an hour okay this is good i mean this is this is a good way let's sum it up here because here's a question what do you what do you how do you think this is going to affect people mentally or what you think is going to make people change things about themselves after this is all said and done yeah i guess an optimistic outlook would be and what i really hope happens is i actually think that uh i mean i do think some good good could come from this i really do think some good could come from this so you know we're all locked in our homes and thinking about i think people are going to think about the world differently. First of all, you know,

like, like this virus was in China a few weeks ago and now it's here. That, that really makes the world seem like a smaller place to people that aren't used to traveling around the world. I mean, I know with my touring, I've been to China.

I was in China, you know, a year ago doing standup. It's been more than 14 days, but since I was there, but you know, so I know you my touring, I've been to China. I was in China a year ago doing stand-up. It's been more than 14 days since I was there. So I know you can get on a plane in the morning and be eating lunch in Shanghai the next day. A lot of people, I don't think like that. So I don't think they think about pollution

or the way we think about the healthcare system. Everything is connected. You drive past homeless people, and you see them living in tents on the street, and you think, oh, well, I don't need to worry about them. But now maybe people might start to think, we should worry about them. We should look after everybody because they get sick.

I'm going to get sick. Everyone's going to get sick. Let's have a healthy society. Let's look after our environment, and let's talk to get sick. Let's have a healthy society. Let's look after our, our environment and let's and let's talk to each other more and look out for each other more. So hopefully that'll be a positive result. Oh yeah, man. Thanks. Thanks a lot for doing this. Yeah, really.

Yeah, man. Skank Fest 2020. Hopefully not 2021. I can't, I can't, I can't wait to to come hang out with you guys in person again and do some more stand up up there

cool man awesome man hit you up soon thanks a lot for doing this this is great peace thanks everyone bye